#but it’s because im so open about what i do like and all of that just seems so last minute like something you’d give a coworker

[shdwstorm]

I scanned my keycard, waiting patiently for the heavy doors of the base to unlock. My team waited behind me, glancing at the snowy wasteland around us for any threats. Two of the three moons orbiting Esclon-4 were full, so we could see everything around us.

The door buzzed as it unlocked and swung open. I puzzled at this, since no one had came onto the speaker to ask me for my ID number. But I had more pressing things to worry about, since as soon as the doors opened my team and I were met with my commanding officer and four armed security guards pointing guns at us. "Hands in the air! Show us your hands!" One of the guards shouted.

"Whoa whoa whoa! What the hell!" I yelled.

"Hands in the air!! I wont ask again!!!" The guard shouted back.

I obeyed, but I was still pissed. "Commander Cardason! What's going on!?" I demanded

"We have reason to believe that the shapeshifting alien we've been hunting has infiltrated your ranks. We will have to conduct close investigations on all of you to make sure you are who you say you are. In the meantime, you all will have to be detained."

"Nothing has infiltrated us! We haven't left each other's sight to make sure this didn't happen!" One of my team members pointed out.

"Really? Because we originally sent out five of you, and you've come back with six," Commander Cardason said, crossing his arms.

My team and I looked at each other in shock. Our heavy gear covered our faces, making it hard to tell who was who. How had we gotten this far and no one noticed the extra member!?!

We all complied with our Commander and were escorted into cells. We were all kept together in one cell, with two guards at the door. Commander Cardason scowled at us like we were all aliens, and I didn't blame him. He had no reason to think otherwise. "All of you, take off your helmets. Slowly," he ordered.

We complied, each of us removing our helmets and setting them at our feet. We looked at each other, trying to deduce for ourselves who the imposter was. Antonio, Kayden, Brian, Trinity, Gregory... wait. That was everyone on my team. What the--

Everyone else was coming to the same conclusion and was looking around with puzzled expressions. Everyone else except Cardason. His eyes were locked on me. "Captain Nathanial, you weren't assigned to this mission."

My heart fell out of my chest as everyone looked at me. "Wait wait wait!!! I'm human! I swear!!!"

"Guards, take him away," Cardason said with a sneer.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! HOLD ON!!" I screamed as the guards grabbed me by the shoulders. "IM HUMAN!!! I SWEAR TO GOD IM HUMAN!!!" My cries fell on deaf ears as I was dragged out of the room.

There were six of us. There had always been six of us. And if I wasn't the alien, then who was? Unless Cardason had lied about there originally being five of us. But why would he lie...?

Unless.

With a furious lurch, I wrenched myself out of the guards' arms and burst back into the cell. "ITS CARDASON!!!" I screamed. "CARDASON'S THE ALIEN!!!"

I was tackled to the ground before I could do much else. Cardason looked down at me like I was a piece of filth stuck to the bottom of his boot, but my team had more mixed reactions. None of them believed me, though, so I had to prove it.

I wrenched one of my arms away from the guard and grabbed my gun off my hip. The real Cardason would have taken my weapons, but this fake clearly wasn't as cautious. If I was wrong... well, hopefully I didn't kill the real Cardason. So before anyone could stop me, I fired.

The shot didn't kill him, but I instantly knew I was right. He screeched in a way that no human could and his body started to contort and change, shedding its previous form. The guards quickly got off me and started firing at the alien. It shrieked in pain and raced out of the room, black blood drooling out of its wounds.

"Get it!!! Kill it!!!" I shouted, racing out of the room. The guards and my team wasted no time following me, and an alarm sounded throughout the compound. We followed the trail of blood but when we turned a corner, we saw the alien had taken a new form. It was massive, barely able to fit in the hallway, with six muscular limbs ending in cruel clawed hands. Four blood red eyes glared back at us, and it opened its mouth to show off every one of its sharp teeth.

"Fire!!!" I shouted, and my team wasted no time obeying. Our bullets just bounced off the alien's new form, and before we knew what was happening one of the guards was just a pile of bloody meat on the ground and the other was sliding down the alien's throat.

I... I'm not sure what happened next. The next thing I remembered was running down the hallway, listening to the roars chase after me. My heart pounded and my head ached. There was blood splattered on my face, and it wasn't mine. My team... were they dead? I couldn't remember. I think so. I must have hit my head at some point, so who knew how much time had passed. All I knew was that I was running, and I couldn't stop.

I ran through an open door and slammed it behind me. There was a table near the door, and I didn't hesitate to use it to barricade the door. I looked around desperately for supplies, and realized I was in the communications room. Yes! I could send out a broadcast to the Federation!! They could send help!

A sickening THUD came from the door, followed by an enraged roar. Fortunately the table held, but I knew it wouldn't be forever. I had to be fast.

"MAYDAY MAYDAY!!!" I screamed into the reciever, praying desperately that anyone could hear me. "Fort Broadstar has been compromised by an alien hostile!!! Requesting immediate backup!!!"

Before I could get a response, the door burst open and I was thrown to the ground. My head bounced painfully off the concrete floor and I saw stars. The alien loomed over me, pinning me under one of its massive claws.

"Nice try," it jeered. It's face morphed back into Commander Cardason's, with a cruel smirk. "You're a clever little human, aren't you. But not clever enough." More pressure was put on my chest, forcing the air out of my lungs. I think I heard one of my ribs crack. A small cry escaped my lips. My pain just made the alien grin wider, unnaturally wide.

The last thing I saw was its teeth flashing around my head.

You are a soldier in a team of 6 who have been sent to investigate shapeshifter sightings, but return to base after finding nothing. On your return, however, all 6 of you are detained and your commanding officer points out that there was only 5 members of your team when you left.

[manmuncher777]

Just because Choso is down bad - doesn’t make him a sub. You find that out soon enough

(s)creaming?!?!?! 😝

“Awh feels good baby?” You sweet little giggle echoes in Choso’s ears. You sat on his lap, grinding on him so good he thought he was going to bust in his fucking pants. When he pulled you on top of him, murmuring about how good you smelt, he didnt expect it to go this way.

His head hidden in your neck as your hips moved, grinding over his already throbbing cock. The material of his sweats doing nothing to lessen the sensation of your clothed pussy rubbing over him so nicely

“So good sweets” He murmed into the skin of your neck, his arms wrapped around you so tight, begging you not to stop “fucking love you”

“I love you too baby.” You tug his hair lightly, getting him to finally face you, his hands now dropping down to your hips. You press a quick kiss to his lips, that giggle leaving you once again

And then you stop.

Jumping off of him while you can, when his guard is dropped. Strutting out of the room, leaving him there, hard as a rock. And fucking angry.

You had been teasing him all day. You knew what you were doing. You guys had been dating for a few months and hadn’t had sex yet. And recently, you were getting a lot more… forward with your advances. After all you figured you could get away with it, suspecting a little submissive streak in your boyfriend since he treats you like a goddess he was lucky to be with. He was down bad for you, and you loved it. You of course were down bad too. But Choso was so dedicated to you, and you loved it. He spoiled you at any chance, kissing the ground you walked on.

You expected him to come find you, begging you finish him him, so sweetly. And of course you would oblige your beautiful boyfriend.

So to say you were shocked would be an understatement.

He left you alone for an hour or so, then returning as if nothing had ever happened. Still your sweet boyfriend. You wondered if you had pushed him too far, maybe he wasnt ready just yet. So you decided to act as if nothing had happened either.

That was until dinner that evening, he had cooked this evening while you had a shower. And of course another one of your master plans was due, you glided into the room, short satin slip was the only thing that you wore. You kissed him sweetly on the cheek, not missing the way he stopped in his tracks when he saw you.

You went to take a seat at the table before you felt him grab you. You gasped as he spun you around, pulling you into his chest quickly. Hands gripping your hips. Hard.

“Cho-“ You went to speak but he cut you off

“Run, if I find you im tearing this thing off of you.”

Oh. This was certainly unexpected. But you didnt miss how you body prickled with excitement at his words, your eyes widening, your mouth hanging open to say something. But that look in his eyes told you he wasn’t joking. You could already feel yourself getting wet just at his words.

You didnt waste a second, your body moving instinctively, racing up the stairs as you tried to figure out where to go. You could hear him following, his slow steps thudding behind you. You only had a few room, and the only place you could think to go was your bedroom, maybe you could go into the bathroom.

Fuck. This was unexpected, but you didnt expect yourself to get so turned on. Your heart racing in your chest, your skin prickling with goosebumps

You ran into the bedroom, your excited giggle an instant give away as to your location. You made your way over to the bathroom door, but your movements stopped. You froze like a deer in headlights. There he was, stood in your bedroom door.

“Found you” was the only thing he said before he was striding over to you, your reactions not quick enough to flea him.

He grabbed you, throwing you onto the bed like you weighed nothing. Caging you in with his own body as he caught your lips in a bruising kiss. That kiss trailing down, onto your neck, where he nipped at the skin.

you gasped and moaned underneath him

“Fucking slut, s’like you wanted me to fuck you.” He murmurs, his hands trailing all over your body, grabbing at your ass, squeezing your tits. One of them moving up, gripping at your throat, squeezing.

“Is that it huh? Just wanted to be fucked?” He asks you, his piercing stare drawing your eyes to his. You nodded weakly

“Use your words baby, there’s no escaping it now.’ Jesus fucking christ. You can’t believe you thought he was submissive. You were being proved very wrong in this moment. but it was working for you

“Yes cho, wan’ you to fuck me” You cried out for him. your precious cocky demeanour now completely erased as one of his knees worked his way between you legs, pressing up into your need cunt. You couldn’t help but roll you hips against him. Watching his eyes widen at your boldness. He pressed his knee further into you, entranced in watching your face twitch in pleasure

“Good girl” He murmured into your ear, and you knew you weren’t going to get out of this easily

Part 2?!?!

[bluem1lls]

Hi! Could you do a fluff Se-mi one shot? Unfortunately I don’t really have any prompt to give you but I think a out of squid game AU would be pretty cool! Like it could be when they first met, or first date sm like that!

I would really appreciate it if you write it, but if not that’s absolutely fine! I hope you have an amazing day! <3

headcanons gf! se-mi

✦ synopsis: never let your annoying best friends to stop you from finding your girlfriend!

tw: a bit of nsfw

authors note: hiii im sorry for the no update, work is killing me but here's this! i hope u like it💓 tysm for the requests!

-> se-mi, who you've met because of a close friends hangout.

"would it be okay if i bring se-mi?" min su asked as i passed the joint to thanos.

"is she cute?" nam gyu asked.

"she's a lesbian" min-su answered with a chuckle.

"oh?" i said as i pay more attention to the conversation.

"she's probably not your type tho, you're so picky" min su said rolling his eyes as i scoffed.

-> se-mi, who was totally your type.

when you two met, you bonded immediately, laughing and smoking together as the other three were sitting on the couch staring.

"what about us man? when it's our turn?" nam-gyu said, watching as she said something that made you blush.

thanos and min su shook their head as they kept smoking.

"i bet i can drink more than you" she said as you laughed. "wanna bet?" she said with a smirk. "if i win, i get your number"

no need. two shots in and you were giving her your number no matter what.

-> se-mi, who texted you while you were passed out on nam gyu's bed as he was sprawled on the floor with thanos's arm around him.

you tried to find your phone, lowering the brightness as you grabbed it while your head throbbed.

pretty girl w the piercings: hi

pretty girl w the piercings: maybe its too soon but would you like to have dinner tonight? we can do something chill :)

-> se-mi, who has you waking up thanos and nam gyu with screams of happiness.

"who died?!" nam-gyu opened his eyes wide.

"min-su?! my boy?" thanos asks, alarmed

"se-mi texted me! she wants to hang out tonight! it's a date!" i said getting up the bed to quickly shower.

"this can't happen anymore bro. she needs to stop getting drunk and sleeping in your room" thanos says to nam gyu as he throws himself into his bed and covers himself with the blankets.

nam gyu blinks. two people already slept in his bed, none of those being him. he sighs as he goes into thanos's room to sleep some more.

"for fucks sakes" he mumbles.

-> se-mi, who's soon arriving to your house.

"i need you two idiots out of here tonight" you said, putting your earrings on and brushing your hair as they stared.

thanos winked as he grabbed his phone to call someone. "we're on our way" i could hear min-su over the phone screaming to thanos, alarmed, because he was on a family reunion. "we're your family too boy! be there in 20" he said, hanging up.

well. they're min-su's problem now.

-> se-mi, who stood there in all back, as she played with her lip piercing, smirking and looking up and down as you open the door.

"hi!"

"hey pretty" she said, as you moved aside, letting her in.

"we're just leaving" she got in as the guys got out, giving a quick head nod to her.

"get laid" thanos shouted from outside.

"she needs it" nam-gyu followed him.

of course you stood there all blushy as she chuckled.

you'll kill them later.

-> se-mi, who brought everything you told her you liked! a horror movie, your favorite snacks, diet coke and ice cream as dessert.

"it's this is okay? maybe i should've bought more things. now i'm nervous maybe it's time for a smoke break-" she rambles too much. you don't give her time to think as you cup her face and kiss her. her eyes widen in surprise but she quickly melts into it.

-> se-mi, who's quickly stopping the makeout sesh to turn on some 'cigarettes after sex' on the speaker.

-> se-mi, who starts hanging out more with the boys and talks a lot about you.

-like a lot. nam-gyu is tired. he has to see you at home and now hear about you??

-> se-mi, who loves chill dates with you, like staying at home and watching some movie.

-> se-mi, who has to get used to the guys because half of the dates probably include them bc they feel left out:(

its like you two are mothers going out with three kids. three very dumb kids (26 year old adults). but you love them and se-mi learns to love them too .. kind of. give her time.

-> se-mi, who not even two months in she's decoring your room with your favorite flowers and a sign that says 'would you let me be your girlfriend?' you kiss her until your lips go numb.

-> gf!se-mi who doesn't know how to keep her hands out of you. her hands on your hips, hugging you from behind, circles on your waist, underneath your shirt.

-> gf!se-mi who loves playing video games. she's SO happy when she finds out you don't actually like playing but you like watching. she buys all your favorite games and plays them all for you

"BABY, TURN RIGHT. I'VE WATCHED THIS 20 TIMES, GO RIGHT" you shout at her.

"do you wANNA PLAY?" she replies, getting exasperated trying to follow your indications.

you pout as you shook your head.

she loves this. wouldn't trade it for the world.

-> gf!se-mi who loves taking you shopping to the mall. clearly for the lingerie stores. probably ends up fingering you in there.

she buys anything you like, baby is poor but she tries SO hard for her girl:(

you're pointing at a plushie?? it's yours.

clothes u like? she knows your size, it's yours.

-> gf!se-mi who discovered your music tastes are so different that she can't believe she's listening to taylor swift and olivia rodrigo songs to learn them for you. she's incredibly down bad.

-> gf!se-mi who gets you a necklace with her initial

"for: baby

it's not because i own you, but because i really know you :)"

-> gf!se-mi who gets SO nervous when you wanna introduce her to ur parents. and she's so happy when they approved her.

-> gf!se-mi that is SOO smart, everytime she helps u study you're moaning.

-> gf!se-mi that's not studying for now, just working. but you are.

and when she sees you burned out? oh she's the first one to be there helping.

"baby, you've been studying for hours, let's take a break"

"i can't sem. my parents-"

"okay okay, let's go through the flashcards again and we'll take a nap, how does that sound?"

-> gf!se-mi that is there when you get a 87 and not a 100. and you're crying about what your parents are going to say while she caress your hair and kisses you.

"we'll start again in a bit if you want to, but for now let it out princess" she kisses your temple.

-> gf!se-mi who everyone stares when she takes you to campus. but she has no idea, she's just looking at you.

-> gf!se-mi who's a fuckgirl in recovery tho..

like the idea of cheating does not cross her mind. but sometimes she smiles. too much.

and maybe some girl is winking at her because god you have a HOT girlfriend.

and she just turns to you, smirking.

"did u see that babe? i haven't lost my charm ;)" she says as you scoff in disbelief. you two end up making out until her brain is too fuzzy to remember what she told you.

"just wanted her to see that you're mine" you say as you clean up any of your messed up lipstick.

her boxers are wet. sticky and wet.

and if someone you know is frequently flirting with her? next time they'll see her, she has three big bruised spots on her neck, and she's SO happy.

one time she had a little admirer at her job who went to see her like three times a week.

baby: she's here!!!!!!!!!!!

me: who???

me: wait.. stalker??

baby: mhm.

and when you leave her on seen, she frowns. she scans everything this girl is taking as she feels her phone vibrating. she checks her messages and oh! it's you!

two photos. one of you in her favorite red lingerie and the second one, you moving aside those pretty panties to send your bare pussy.

she's drooling. and her brain is pretty much broken.

"i-m-m sorry" she stutters to the girl in front of her, who frowns. "min-su cover for me! i'll stay tomorrow" se-mi screams at him and smiles at the girl who looks like her heart got crushed.

-> gf!se-mi who also gets jealous easily. match made in heaven!

give her two seconds before she's eyeing up and down with a cold stare to anyone who's talking to you. her hands grip your waist as they start to roam over your body, she leaves a wet neck kiss as she gets close to your ear.

"bathroom. right now. or you wanna show them you're only my whore? because i'll fuck you right here and i'll make them watch" she whispers on your ear while you're talking, making you shiver.

yeah forget the chat, it wasn't that interesting anyways.

-> gf!se-mi that spends every sundays with you

lazy days, laying in bed hugging and kissing eachother, picking two books out of your book shelf to read for a while. if it's raining?? movie, take out food and a nap.

she just wants to be with you, does not care about anything else.

-> gf!se-mi that if you're into romantic stuff, she's doing her best for her girl. sometimes she forgets tbh but there it is min-su to remind her!

se-mi: 😭 she's mad at me

min-su: it's flower day. according to tik tok, girl's wanna receive a yellow bouquet

se-mi: you're my second favorite person.

and she's at your door 30 minutes after you got mad with a yellow bouquet, smiling behind it.

she really tries.

-> gf!se-mi who knows how to draw so well, she actually draws a bouquet of ur favorite flowers to give u every month.

-> gf!se-mi who finds tik toks about kitties and sends them to you.

you open tik tok once again as you see a new video sent by your girlfriend. is a black cat licking a white cat with a pink bow

semisucks: das us:)

-> gf!se-mi who loves when you do skincare on her but she already has a pretty spotless face. although she uses hand soup to wash her face

-> gf!se-mi who never stopped flirting with you, she has to keep her girl

" you look so good tonight, you're lucky i have a wife or ill be taking you to bed real fast" she says winking as you roll your eyes.

-> gf!se-mi that after two years of dating, wants to move with you.

"you didnt ask for our consent" thanos says, shooking his head no as you both tell them the news.

"you steal our best friend and now you want her to move? that's not happening" nam gyu agrees with him.

you stare at the three of them who are fighting about you like little kids.

"well, i guess its time to bring the second choice" i say to se-mi as she places her head on the table as she mumbles 'fuck'

"she moves here" i say, staring at those two as they stare at eachother.

"fine. but no moaning" thanos says as nam gyu nods.

-> gf!se-mi who hates her birthday, except this year, when you throw her a mini surprise party with nam-gyu, thanos and min-su.

-> gf!se-mi who can't cook... please don't make her.

-> gf!se-mi who protects you and puts you on top of anything.

you're her girl after all.

nsfw hc!

-> gf!se-mi who has an obsession with your tits, when youre riding her? shes having a blast seeing your tits bounce

-> gf!se-mi who fucks u in public places. 100%

-> gf!se-mi who has a broken brain when she sees you with a new lingerie set.

-> gf!se-mi who has a black strap. and god she knows how to use it

-> gf!se-mi who didn't do it right if you're not crying and trembling by the end of the night.

-> gf!se-mi who loves quickies. everytime you two are about to go out you're suddenly 15 minutes late because you just looked so cute in that oufit, that she had to eat you out.

-> gf!se-mi who quiets her whimpers everytime you're eating her out while she's playing with the guys.

"are you okay? focus dip shit" nam-gyu says to her.

she's on her chair, completely flustered and out of breath, biting her lips while you're swirling around her clit.

"i'm- i'm fine" she sttuters as she quickly mutters the mic, her hand grabs your hair. "right there princess"

-> gf!se-mi who loves to hear you while she fucks you. if you're not screaming she's not happy.

-> gf!se-mi that gets extremely frustrated when you tease her in public.

it's okay, she'll make you her slut when you're back home<3

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

ONYX STORM ⚡️⚡️⚡️

My thoughts below the cut! Spoilers galore. This is all from my first read through, so we’ll see what changes by the time I finish my second read. I’m still pretty jumbled up about the book (I am physically incapable of opening up goodreads and giving it a rating) and, frankly, I think my notes are going to reflect this! Also, this is thoughts for the WHOLE BOOK, so please don’t open the full post if you’re not done with the WHOLE BOOK.

I’m pasting my notes directly from the doc I took them on while reading , and adding extra post-read commentary when I feel the urge! Also this is your warning that I swear quite a bit in these! For they are candid.

ch1-10:

- i will say i thought the ch 2 epigraph was an inntinnsic clue but now im not so sure bc it’s not that rare it’s just that they kill everyone who has it ??? (commentary from future helena: this is about lilith…right?)

- tell me something, violence. why is it always you? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

- what IS a soul. how can you take a soul apart piecemeal. why do you think he gave up part of his soul. who told you that. (CFFH: i stand by this. none of this makes any sense to me.)

- hmmmm no red post fingering! curious…very curious (CFFH: i still don’t know about this one dawg)

- the kiss beneath her ear after he helps her get dressed somebody sedate me

- god DOES garrick like imogen because mans does NOT act like it poor im (CFFH: I seriously cannot stop wondering when the hell Rebecca decided to make immrick canon because i LIKE the ship, but on my fw and if re reads it does not read like Garrick likes her, and I would say that holds true till the very end of the damn book)

- VIOLETTTTTTTT I LOVE HER she’s so fucking back (CFFH: violets characterization was my favorite thing about this book. i was really scared about xaden leaving because frankly rebecca writes violet best with him, but she held her own so much better than she has in the other two books. i always love her, but she was incredible here.)

- the bits about vi being a good duchess i Knew that was him saying he wanted to marry her (CFFH: this is an example of what i like to call RY’s “gotcha ass foreshadowing”)

- also i have always characterized fen in my head as loving the movement more than xaden i know what’s up

- i’m soooo excited about him being the duke this is so embarassing im pumping my fists

- did NOT see the samara field trip coming what the fuck

- EVEN HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY HES STILL TSKING CARE OF EMD EKDNRNRNRN (CFFH: yeah.)

- hey guys what the fuck was that dream? did RY see the cat/violet shippers and get ideas

- WHAT THE FUCK. i saw NONE of this coming

- GARRICKS A WIND WIELDER ???? (CFFH: obviously did not age super well…however garrick was acting so sus here and his dialogue felt so off that i genuinely thought he was the traitor for a fat minute)

11-20

- WHETS RNRJRNRNRNRNRNRJEKEKKRRN

- IS THIS THE MARKED ONES SECOND SIGNET TNEORY (CFFH: can you tell i was a big fan of the marked ones second signet theory. also what’s xadens third signet then? also i feel like if EVERYONE has 2 vi will have 3! i have a theory explaining it below somewhere)

- WLSO DID XADEN FHCKINF KNOW (CFFH: they actually handled this really well i was so nervous they’d have the fight again)

- dude im like short circuiting sick to my stomach HES SOOOOOOO BOYFRIEND ? (CFFH: what on EARTH was this about?)

- well the fuck aware!!!!!!!!!

- i can’t breathe

- i need my inhaler

- LIAM WIELDINF ICE (CFFH: again, can you tell i was a big fan of the marked ones second signet theory? fun fact, i actually wanted to write it into ITHOIA but then i realized a. how much work it would be to concoct that many signets and b. i’d have to give xaden THREE, and decided to pick my battles. however i did brainstorm what signets had xaden energy for giving him a third one and immmmmm immmm having ideasssssss)

- YOURS X

- why do i agree with JFBs venin logic man

- god halden is her traumatic ex relationship goddddd (CFFH: i edited out most of my complaining, but i was super against the halden idea (per my predictions). this might get me cancelled, but it did feel fan service-y? to me? which is fine! fans deserve to be serviced! there are moments of this book in which i am the fan being serviced! but when it become clear RY was going in the halden direction, i was super stressed about how she’d handle it, and im thrilled she made him toxic. THRILLED.)

- SECOND KROVLAN UPRISING

- knowing miss yarros and her gotcha ass foreshadowing ridoc is going on that quest lmdao

- PRFOEOEKEENDJEJEN PROFESSOR RIORSON PROFESSOR RIOROSN (CFFH: not only do i stand by this, but i actually wanted to write teacher roleplay for kinktober and i didn’t bc i didn’t think the fandom would take a liking to it, but CLEARLY rebecca didn’t have those concerns)

- i am going to commit crimes against humanity your relationship did not just END SJEJEJEJENR R (CFFH: i’ve noticed miss yarros has begun to really lean on chapter cliffhangers, and frankly, it pisses me off. i understand she needs to get her bag with kindle unlimited and all, but it makes for a stressful reading experience imo. however, this one got me. this one got me SO bad i had to take a walk to calm down. i have been looking forward to professor riorson for MONTHS and i was convinced it was crashing and burning before my eyes. maybe this is why i shouldn’t read past 1 am. i know rebecca has given interviews and has said she needs there to be constant tension in their relationship or else there’s no story, and while i know what she means, THIS tension felt so manufactured to me. i also think she could pull off a war story with them just like …together. i believe in her. the story needs tension, but it doesn’t need to be between them like this, imho.)

- we live by the codex/i live by you 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫I AM YOURS AND YOU ARE MINE AND THERE’S NO LAW OR RULE IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT THAT CAN CHANGE THAT

- you know what we might get shadow sex in this book. we might. (CFFH: we do! and i think we can get more with asim!xaden)

- fun fact about me it took till my THIRD RE READ to see that xaden controls the shadows with his hands.

- there’s been like 3 indirect marriage references if my fucking empire of storms prediction was correct im going to scream (CFFH: so i actually didn’t get to scream because i was too busy MOURNING the lack of a RIORGAIL WEDDING.)

- PAPA SORRENGAIL HAS NAME AND ITS ASHER ?????

- ridocs blow job joke was funny i cackled

- papa sorrengail (im going to deadname him) i do love you man

- SHADOW HANDCUFFS OH MY GOS i had a seizure in my reading hammock

- he is my choice. that got me. that felt good.

- DRAAAAAAAAKE (CFFH: i may say this later, but alli (no tag bc she’s not done reading yet) made drake so sexy to me (and amy! also no tag) and i was kind of disappointed lmfao)

- vi rlly out here playing cousins or dating

21-30

- i loooooove him calling her love all the time

- it’s so crazy to me that he’s relaxed without magic but im glad! since i do think this is his ending over all

- helena bets time: the deal the krovlan rebels didn’t uphold was smth to do with the irids or the feather tails

- “xaden riorson is a lot of things, but happy usually isn’t one of them” hey man what the fuck

- this feels like a fever dream this is the dragon show christmas episode that isn’t relevant to the plot what do you mean they’re bonding over horses

- hey guys is this…capitalism?

- i can’t get over the isle kingdoms being kerch (CFFH: if you haven’t read six of crows this won’t make any sense, but if you have….)

- ARETIA IS THE SECOND MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I MVE EVER SEEN AND MY HOME IS THE FIRST (CFFH: he was ON ONE in this)

- maybe im toxic but he’s being so nice im so anxious about something going wrong 💀 like he stays in the isles or something jesus

- “even if we did, we can’t be in two places at once” + xaden acting weird ….. (CFFH: i want to say third signet but i don’t know)

- what the FUCK is going on with him like it’s really hot but it’s freaking me out

- IM GIVING DIPLOMACY A TRY NOT SURE ITS FOR ME THOUGH (CFFH: dare i say lilith parallel)

- HE WOULD HAVE IF HE’D MET HIM. knocked me on my ass.

- i have an idea i just dont like being wrong baby violet i need to give you a forehead kiss

- why is violets dad the grandpa from the inheritance games

- im going to bed fr fr now but my last minute prediction is that he marries vi to make her an aristocrat (this is wishful thinking) (also we don’t HAVE to rescue halden) (like it’s fine if we don’t)

- MY CONSORTTTTTTTT

- WHEN WOULD BE. can he propose for real. please. (CFFH: this is hurting my feelings)

- bro his LINES IN THIS ???? who do you swear fealty to/VIOLET

- he’s acting less sus…i did NOT like that epigraph abt “returning to his true nature” (CFFH: maybe im on something but idk if this was meant to reflecrt him draining the alloy or whatever it was orrrr if it was abt vi channeling somehow!)

- im almost worried he’s trying to marry her before he kills himself or something but he keeps telling her how selfish he is so maybe not (CFFH: close!)

- her EDS is also a lot better done this time around (CFFH: from a layman’s point of view, obviously, but her injuries were much more graphic, and her other symptoms were actually on page. i really appreciated this)

- oh my godddd sloane and dain.

- i feel like the bond fuckery is vi’s second signet ???? i ALSO feel like it’s sexy

- DAXTON

- PAPA SORRENGAIL HAS A MAIDEN NAME

- also bodhi TOTALLY has a second signet that little LIAR i wonder if he’s an inntinnsic too or smth.

- god imagine bodhi has resurrection

- im trying to be normal but i feel like its insane we’re just now learning where violets family is from idk!!!

- why is dain sweet in this idk also this happened earlier but vi’s dad teaching him languages FOR violet makes me want to cry

- im so fucking proud of violet holy crap

- is violet ??? unnbrian????

31-40

- FOREHEAD TAT LIKE THEOPHANIE!!!!

- violet absolutely can wield there im calling it rn shawty is MAGICAL (CFFH: i guess maybe it’s her touched by dunne ??? thing ??? and she’s somehow ??? half god ????)

- god xaden and dain love her so much

- why does rebecca never let me see xaden do her wraps for her i want to seeeeee

- they’re all in couple pairs so obviously dain and garrick are fucking next (CFFH: this was a joke but tbh…i could be convinced idk)

- god so timing wise DID papa sorrengail meet xaden’s mom !/!:!3&3’ejd (CFFH: i don’t think so ??? but maybe ???)

- not sure my thoughts on the name talia (CFFH: this is bc i picture my bestie Thalia Grace)

- the mommy issues are churning my stomach

- i loooooove aaric holy

- dude i totally thought ridoc was dead

- babe! this isn’t you!

- oh my god ?????? i was NOT expecting violet to give them the old kazzledazzle (CFFH: this is another six of crows reference in which Kaz uses someone’s child as leverage by implying that he’ll kill them, basically, except Kaz is on page morally gray. in THIS book violet is, but i don’t think she had been before now)

- this is genuinely honest to god NOT how i thought their relationship would go and it’s freaking me out

41-50

- you’re my soul JESUS what is he ON

- god poor andarna

- I KNEW HE WAS AN ARIES AND NOT A PICSES I KNEWWWW ITTTT

- she wrote him a letter 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

- i will say i’ve been wondering if the venin effects xaden experiences are more of a ptsd metaphor than anything

- is cuir trans bc i totes thought she was a woman

- ….it would be a shame to kill my last living relative….

- god the adaptations to the running landing mean so much to me im so proud of her

- violet baby i love you to pieces

- you do some of your best work on that throne 😭😭😭😭 (CFFH: the amount of callbacks in this book was very intriguing to me)

- WERE HOME VI ACT LIKE IT

- i was actually rlly against xaden telling anyone he was venin but it’s all gone surprisingly well

- if lindell and lewellen are xaden and liam’s gay foster dads….dont call don’t text

- shadow handcuffs………………..

- im a fan!

- god i did NOT expect that to be the route they took? with the sex ? (CFFH: i thought they were gonna handcuff XADEN. )

- she is absolutely having xaddys dreams but idk what the FUCK the cat one was

- IS XADENS THIRD SIGNET PROPHETIC DREAMS. (CFFH: im leaning towards venin mindfuckery but who knows)

51-end

- i am actually really enjoying tairn and adarna this read although id like a dragon punnet square

- violet is so venin. xaden IS power she says while she says SHE IS power mmmmm rebecca i know your secrets (CFFH: see yall after book 4 idk)

- hi who the fuck was the high priestess and why does it matter im so confused i can see the puzzle pieces and i am flipping the table

- also crack pot theory entered my head. if xaddy gets 3 signets then vi has to get 3 signets. tairn never says naolin he always says “the one who came before” what if…hear me out…somehow it was papa sorrengail???? and not naolin ??? at least not naolin the whole time so then she’s getting a third signet from tairn

- why the fuck did vi not listen to aaric in the first place mans clearly knows what he’s talking about (CFFH: #drama)

- okay is violet a demigod. is that what’s going on

- IS HER HAIR NOT ACTUALLY SILVER (CFFH: i feel like it has to be ????)

- okay wait im thinking about the dedication thing they said earlier -> lilith is sick -> they think fetus vi is going to die -> they ??? dedicate ??? her ??? to dunne ??? (CFFH: i still don’t know actually except she’s two and not a fetus? and it was just papa sorrengail. also i think they rode tairn there LMAO but maybe im insane)

- i cant get over garrick being a distance wielder i need to check on the immrick girlies (CFFH: immrick girlies i hope you’re well!!)

- god how are the irids involved in rsc ???

- i exist for tairn, but i live for xaden okay girl okayyyy

- god does she get to keep being an inntinnsic now ?????

- THRILLED about her sleeping in xadens clothes

- were past the break up stage he’s sooooo real i love him

- core. memory. (CFFH: this is the biggest sin rebecca’s committed anachronism wise my god)

- god DID they get secret married ????

- god when they said bring your brother and i thought she meant liam was being resurrected i actually started to enter cardiac arrest (CFFH: am i the only one 😔)

- is bodhi actually his secret brother and garrick knows and we don’t because what the fuck (CFFH: i guess it could just be vibes?)

- my heart is not in my chest cavity after the liam business

- COLONEL DAXTONS GUIDE TO EXCELLING IN THE SCRIBE QUADRANT!!!!!

- i knew that was how it was going to go purely from alli’s take the second they said they had mira i was like reciting the sitq ending (CFFH: obviously i was slightly wrong but still! this is controversial but the fact that she let everyone were close to (mira/ridoc) live and only killed off tertiary characters kind of undercut the experience for me idk!)

- oh my god dain and sloane 🥹

- come back to me/only ever you

- DUKE OF ANGST

- is garrick’s distance wielding how they dealt with the fuck ass trips to aretia that didn’t work with the timeline bc that’s brilliant actually god damnit

- the bullshit about being everywhere at once means something i can feel it

- RHIANNON?????

- cannot believe that line is feirge

- hi so fun fact i don’t think jm meant to read for this many hours straight i feel like im locked in a trance

- THE ONLY PERSON I TRULY LOVE ???? ABOUT QUINN??? IMOGEN ???

- what on earth is imogen’s second signet bc i don’t think that’s how fire wielding works ????

- i cannot believe the marked ones all have second signets what the ever loving fuck

- i feel like quinn’s death was just not that impactful however imogen saying her mom and sister will know who she is made me tear up jesus

This is where I stopped taking notes!! I’m SO confused about the ending. To be quite honest, I think I’ll reblog this with my thoughts on the ending after I’ve re read it, because I’m LOST. What did Xaden show Sgaeyl ???? Who turned venin with him, because I thought Bodhi but maybe Garrick but maybe both??? how DARE rebecca now show me the riorgail wedding ?/??2?3?3$33&:! WHO does he have a DEAL with???

misc thought that didn’t make it up there:

- i LOVE how she handled Sawyer’s amputation and rehab.

[jinxlovebot]

hihihiii<3 i saw that ur requests r still open so i wanted to ask about cait and fem enforcer!reader who's jealous of maddie cuz she's very flirty w cait but Cait is so focused on hunting jinx n kinda oblivious but as soon as she realises that her gf is jealous and that in fact maddie is very flirty w her, Cait do everything to make up to reader, nsfw or sfw whatever u want!! (I dreamed abt this nights ago n I just can't stop thinking about it nsjsjddh)

THIS IS SO GOOD.

"jealous huh?" - caitlyn kiramman x fem! reader smut

ᰔᩚ: semi-public sex, cunulingus, reader! receiving, female reader, dom(?) caitlyn.

................................................................................................

there she goes again, maddie. flirting with your girlfriend, giggling and over exaggerating at some stupid joke caitlyn said or lingering her hand on the small of her back when caitlyn is looking over clues to locate jinx. maddie has been going at it for days, she knows its riling you up and she knows cait is so oblivious to it because shes so distracted by jinx. you in that case, finally had enough of it.

you, maddie and caitlyn were discussing your next move to track down jinx, standing around the table scattered with photos and evidence. caitlyn's voice is a blur in your mind, because all you can focus on is the way maddie is looking at cait, her eyes looking from her lips to her chest back up to her eyes. she's smirking knowing its killing you, "- and what do you think about that idea?" maddie says cutting off your daydreaming, looking at you, your face flushed red not knowing what to say. you squint your eyes and let out a sigh you didnt even realize you were holding in, "you guys discuss it. because clearly im not as involved in this as i thought i was." you sternly state, throwing your sheets onto the desk. maddie snorted, caitlyn looking at you walking out the door with widened eyes. "wonder what that was about!" maddie giggles, caitlyn turned to look at her in disbelief, "are you serious?" she says to maddie before turning on her heel and heads to follow you. you were in caitlyn's room sitting on her huge bed, your head in your hands mumbling to yourself how much you hate maddie.

"baby..?" caitlyn walks into her room, your head shoots up trying to keep your composure. "why did you storm out?" she says, sitting next to you putting her arm around your shoulder you look into her eyes, "its just you and maddie and the whole thing with jinx... she's flirting with you, and I don't even think you realize! she knows exactly what shes doing-" caitlyn cuts you off with a light tap to your shoulder, "im sorry i was like that okay? i was so caught up i didnt even realize maddie was doing that.." she looks away and turns back to look at you, ".. are you jealous?"

your face grows red, was it that obvious? "well of course i was." you mumble avoiding eye contact with cait, "im sorry baby, how bout' i make it up to you hm? you do know i never will leave you for anyone right? or do i have to remind you.." caitlyn caresses your cheek and tucks the loose strands behind your ear before attaching her lips with yours, both tounge's fighting for dominance caitlyn whimpers into your mouth before pulling away and pecks your cheek. she pulls her shirt over her head while you do too leaving you both in your bras, you grip her hips and pull her on top of you and lean back on your elbows so that shes straddling you. you lift up and start sucking on her chest, kissing and nibbling her chest before reaching behind her to de-attach her bra, "your so needy" she chuckles, reaching to unhook yours too kissing you again. "take off your jeans." cait's eyes hungry with lust waiting, you kick off your jeans along with your panties leaving you fully naked beneath her. she licks a long stripe from your boobs down your stomach to your pussy. she teases you, kissing your inner thighs leaving you begging for her. "jealous huh?" cait teases running her finger through your folds catching the slick on them, "p-please cait.. stop teasing" your breathing quickening when she leans her head towards your pussy. "hmm, only because you said please."

she inserts her long finger into your needy hole before putting another finger in, her two fingers going in and out of you in a slow rhythm leaving you moaning her name begging for her mouth. she finally gave in, removing her two fingers she licks a long stripe on your vagina making you moan her name gripping her hair, she licks your clit sucking on the same spot over and over again before inserting her fingers back into you. "cait im so close!" she puts another finger in. three fingers in, curling them and pushing them in and out she kisses your clit. the knot in your lower stomach finally snaps, "fuck! caitlyn!" cait licking up all your juices clearly overstimulating you she takes her fingers out before putting them in her mouth. moaning around her own fingers she pulls you in for a kiss, tasting the mix of your release and her saliva is like heaven.

after caitlyn cleans you up and your both dressed again (even though you basically were the only one naked) you head back to the main room, "so what did we miss?" caitlyn says to maddie smirking seeing her mouth agape. you smirk at maddie holding cait's hand because you know she heard you and your girlfriend fucking in the other room.

................................................................................................

this felt so rushed >_<

[imagine-notnatural]

More Task force 141 x Janitor Reader

It starts when you offer a neck massage to Rodriguez. They’d just returned from some mission, and all she and the rest of group did was complain about how sore they were. As shes a close friend with Michael, and a good friend of yours too, you decided to offer her relief. A quick massage, just while you had time between tasks and she had her own downtime.

You once done it absentmindedly when you stood behind Michael at a meeting. He sat on the bench in front of you, so you just simply rested your hands on his shoulders. Nothing over the top. However as the meeting progressed, he’d started feeling your hands gently squeeze his shoulders. Michael didn’t react, he didn’t move or give any indication that he felt what was going on; figuring you might stop the pleasant movements of your hands. This continued for another twenty minutes, by the time the meeting ended you’d thoroughly worked out all the kinks in his neck and shoulders, had gently run your hands through his hair enough times where his eyes had to fight to stay open, and left him in a daze.

Ever since, any time he’d feel your hands on his shoulders he’d still, hoping that you were entranced enough with whatever it was Bill(your boss) was talking about that you’d do it again.

“You can say no, Im just offering a service, you don’t have to tell me yes if you’re uncomfortable. Genuinely, I only offer because you seem like you need it” you say, awkwardly turning away from her as she seemed on the fence.

“Marisol, trust me, it’s good. You’ll probably get put to sleep. I call (Name) NyQuil behind their back because they nearly put me to sleep once-“

“Mikey what the fuck-“

Rodríguez laughed, “Sounds good, Thanks (Name) I really appreciate it.” Once she gave you the go ahead, you rounded behind her.

“You still good?”

She gave you a nod.

You started gently kneading the muscles at the base of her neck and worked down from there. The way the three of you were positioned was that Mikey (and you previously) had your backs facing the recreational rooms’ tv, and now you were able to face the tv with Marisol. Some reality tv show had caught your attention, and with time, the sounds from the screen and the show itself distracted you.

By the last comercial break, when you looked down you found Rodriguez was chin-to-chest. Her head rolling over to allow you to gently trace the base of her neck with your nails.

“You still okay?” You asked, chuckling when she grunted happily as her answer.

Just then, more of her squad came bounding in..

“Rodriguez we’ve been looking for you what are- Hey what’re you doing?”

“What’s it look like?” You respond, noting that Marisol had yet to lift her head and her eyes remained shut.

“Aw dude- Me next! My fucking back has been killing me!” Someone from outside the door said, when you turned to look it was another member of their squad.

“You want one? Twenty dollars for however long real housewives of Dubai is on-“ Mikey instantly sat up from the old couch, his arm outstretched and hand open. You instantly shot Michael a glare, while the others looked at him in disbelief.

“Man what-“

“Mikey I didn’t-“

“It’s worth it” Marisol said, loud enough to catch everyone’s attention. She placed a hand over your hand own and gave you a quick thank you. She got up from the folding chair she’d been sat at and riled her shoulders. “It’s fucking worth it. Watch this,”

She made a show of rolling her shoulders and neck.

“Im gonna sleep like a fucking baby tonight. Ten out ten, will recommend ” She smiled and gave you another thank you. You were distracted by her smile, and didn’t hear what Mikey said next.

“So? You heard her, and you know Rodriguez doesn’t lie for shit- what do you say?” Michael smirked, hand still outstretched.The two men looked at each other before they looked back at you.

Still distracted by Rodriguez’s smile, you didn’t notice when the men pulled out their wallets.

“You got change for a fifty?”

“I do”

You turned to see the men exchange bills in front of you before offering you twenty each.

“Im not- I mean- uh-“

You sighed as they gave you a pleading look.

I mean you’re a college student paying out of state tuition fees AND the majority of check went into rent and bills… Having a bit of extra cash is like totally in your best interests…

“Who’s going first?”

And that’s how you became a part time masseuse.

It was a well kept secret. Michael had taking to managing the operation, his payment being on demand head scratches. He’d made it so only people vouched by someone you’d already worked on or by you or Michael personally, would you even consider. It was all kept on the down low so that you wouldn’t end up in some sort of trouble, you accepted payment in cash, goods, and trades of services. And everyone was kept in check by some sort of code of honor they’d established amongst themselves.

Marisol and Michael and taken it up to personally warn (threaten) everyone that if you got caught and didn’t give massages anymore they wouldn’t take it lightly. (Blah blah blah breaking knee caps blah blah blah Marisol is so creative!)

And sure there were physical therapists on base, but for whatever reason you seemed to excel in relaxing people to the point of sleep. That’s what people really came to you for.

One night when you were on graveyard shift, you recieved a text from Michael.

TMNT: Hey, just fyi sgt MacTavish and Garrick r gonna head over to you soon

You: ??

TMNT: The ones w the thiq thighs n fat asses

You: be more specific this is yam city we’re in partner

TMNT: SCOTLAND FOREVAA n the guy w the cap from the 141

You: yOU MEAN KYLE?! ur lYING!! HOW?!

You: who couched ?!

You: vouched*

TMNT: Marisol

You: Ah :o

TMNT: Yeah ;)

You: (ToT)

You: Bye then

TMNT : toodlelu~

You waited nervously for the two sergeants in the rec room. You eased your nerves by scrolling through the streaming services on the TV. Just as you had finally settled on a series, there was a knock of the opened door.

“So yur’ NyQuil?” The Scotsman was the first to enter, an inquisitive eye as he looked over your humble single chair set up. His resting smile, made your stomach do flips as you watched him look you over

“ a wee bit jumpy no?” Soap smiled, getting side eye from his fellow sergeant who was still outside the door.

“Fucking Michael- Yes but no, don’t call me that. It’s (Name), the dipshit trying to get the name to stick is my friend…” you fought to maintain eye contact with those bright blue eyes of his

The Englishmen made his appearance soon after,

“ So it is you! What? Threatenin’ us to keep clean wasn’t enough for you, you’d to start knocking people out?” Kyle walked in with a grin.

“Well, you’re some big hotshot guy so when I couldn’t get to you I had to find an outlet.” You chuckled,

“So Marisol let y’all in on the operation. What’s going on fellas?”

“Near dam dislocated my shoulder when training last week and haven’t been able to sleep it off,” Johnny answered, tentatively rolling said shoulder. You nodded then turned to Kyle,

“Well, truth is I’ve just been tired.” You nodded again,

“Alright then gentlemen, I’ll get started with-“

“Call me John, Bonnie”

“Okay, I start with John and I’ll get to you after.” You gesture for Johnny to sit in the folding chair beside you, “there’s snacks- well the layout is almost the same as your own personal rec. room so you’ll know where snacks are. Kick back on the couch, watch the movie and n’” you turn slightly to see how much more of the movie remained… an hour and forty five minutes.

“Like 45 minutes I’ll have y’all switch.”

The two men looked at each other briefly before stepping to their spots. Gaz on the couch and soap in the chair.

“Oh can I actually get you turned the other way?” You ask, Johnny quickly stands to turn around and sit as you positioned him.

“Okay, now, just let me know if anything hurts in the not good way, okay? I’m going to get started on your neck and then work from there. Sound good?” You asked, placing a bit of scentless lotion on your hands.

“Let me know if I hurt you,” Kyle couldn’t help but turn away from the screen to see you get started on Johnny. As you couldn’t see his face, Johnny scoffed lightly and gave Kyle a small smile at your words. Chin restringing on his arms, Johnny began speaking

“Nah, I’m sure’ve had worse, ‘think I can handle-“

Kyle had the pleasure of seeing his teammate’s face freeze and contort into something between pained and relieved-

“Jesús, Mary, n’ Joseph, the grip on you-“ Johnny grunted, hiding his face in his arms. From his angle, Kyle could see the way your thumbs dug into the base of his neck.

Gaz laughed, “What mate? You good?”

“If it hurts I’ll stop, just say the word,” You said, seemingly unfazed,

“Don’t you bloody dare-“ He muttered, leaning his weight into your hold. He began muttering phrases under his breath, some unfamiliar to you and other indiscernible.

“That good huh?” Kyle smirked,

Johnny, who’s face was buried in his arms only grunted at muttered “-bile your heid” or at least that’s what you managed to understand.

“It’s alright, it’s a compliment to me, yeah?”

Johnny made a noise of agreement

The three of you laughed it off, continuing with light conversation, soon enough you got into your rhythm.

See? nothing to be afraid of! Just passing the time and getting some of that green!

“So how did you find you had this talent of your’s, (Name)?”

“It was just something I did since I was younger. I’d usually only do it for my family but I haven’t..” you paused, thinking of how to continue.

“Ay, dinae stop I paid good money for dis’” Johnny joked sleepily, his breath had begun to steady and his voice sounded more muffled, like his mouth wasn’t moving at all. You chuckled and carried on.

“Relax sergeant, I’m not stopping.” You moved back from his broad shoulders to the base of his neck. You could’ve sworn he’d began purring as your fingers began raking through his hair and working at the junction between his neck and skull.

“But yeah, just something I’ve always done.”

Kyle nodded, taking note of your hesitation but not commenting. You all remained in a comfortable silence afterwards, the movie playing in the background.

Before you knew it, the forty five minutes were up. Your phone buzzed on the counter and you lifted your hands though no without immediate protest.

“Timers’ rigged-“

“No sir. Go ahead and get up, I’ve got to do your friend next before I head out for my actual work. “

“Get out the chair bruv- it’s my turn.”

He only grunted.

Johnny groaned but rose this time, he tentively lifted his arm and rolled it in its socket,

“Braw Job la-“

“Move!”

“Cannae you see I’m going ya jobbie?!”

You laughed, not entirely sure what the Scot was saying but understanding the fact he was pleased with the results. Johnny grumbled annoyed as he laid back on the coach,

“N’ I was falling asleep too!” He complained halfheartedly, placing his feet in the arm of the couch.

“Ay mate but you were cutting into my time.”

“Ah Git Awa’ and Bile Yer Heid,” John huffed, watching as Kyle took his seat in your chair. “Alright same rules, let me know when something’s not working for you or hurts in a bad way, ‘Kay Garrick?”

“Garrick? What happened to Kyle? You cross with me?”

He’d turned his head back slightly, his expression ameused.

“This is a professional setting Mr. Garrick, I’ve got to be professional.” A smug smile pulled at your lips. You placed your hands on his shoulders to begin.

“So this is where you two disappeared to.”

You turned around to trace the source of the unfamiliar voice. You were lead to the doorway- oh hey it’s the grim reaper

“ AH!”

By now both men in the room, had begun stifling their snickers.

“We have to stop meeting like this!I mean you no offense but you’re one scary S-O-B you know that” You swalllowed, raising your head from beside Kyle.

He didn’t respond, but telling from his eyes and the minuscule movement where his mouth would be, you figured he was amused.

“Stalking us’ Lt.? And here we thought yee couldn’ stand us,”

He giant of the group of giants found his place in the corner of the room, he leaned against the counter and allowed for Johnny to yap away.

Meanwhile you’d restarted your timer hesitantly, starting again and hoping that the sound of John’s voice and the tv kept your voice out of earshot.

You leaned over slightly, just enough for Kyle to hear you. ( And for a tingle down his spine n heat reach the tip of his ears)

“He won’t kill me right? He looks the like kinda of guy that could kill me.”

“I mean he could, but he won’t….‘Least I hope…”

“Fuck right off then Garrick, if it wasn’t for the money you paid me I’d leave right now.”

“So you’re telling me you’re only here for money? I thought you liked me?”

“Just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you can’t be insufferable, sergeant. I’ve gotta keep the bills paid somehow.”

“You think I’m hot?” He smirked,

“Yeah,” you scoffed, “- and insufferable, don’t forget that part. It’s key that you understand that’s more important .”

The two of you continued to bicker, not noticing that the Lieutenant and other sergeant had been watching the two of you interact.

“Lively one ye?” Soap turned slightly to get a look at Ghost’s expression. Despite being hiding under that skull themed baklava of his, Johnny felt he’d seen enough and been through enough with the man to get a general feel for him.

Ghost took a moment to take in the scene.

Kyle trying to rile you up while being forced multiple times to keep his head facing forward. A broad smile on his face and the sound of his laugh just slightly louder than the television.

You, who eventually forced him to plant his face into his arms so that the whole ordeal would be over with. A smile tugging on your own lips no matter how hard you tried to fight it.

He then turned back to Johnny, who watched the two of you as well. The look on his face seeming content, his eyes following the way Kyle’s eyes lit up and switching off to the way your lips moved when you smiled and spit back another comeback. There was a heat to it all but.. The whole scene was so… domestic. Ghost quickly turned away, instead focusing on how you decided to torture Gaz, completely giving up on the relaxation part of the massage and instead aiming for as many weak spots as you could find.

Lively indeed.

[carlosainzgf]

REUNITED

kang dae ho x fem!reader (smut)

(i wrote this at like 3 am so ignore if there are any typos or something)

the vote decided that you could return home, but you didn’t want to lose touch with dae-ho, so you agreed to find each other. you gave him your address before you were dragged away from each and dropped on the middle of a street.

after a few days of waiting for him you thought he wasn’t going to show up. but then there was a knock on your door. you rushed and opened it.

you were sitting at home looking pretty all day long because you didn’t know when he would show up. but it paid off. your hair was sitting prettily on your shoulders, you had a little lace top on and a pair of cotton shorts and a cute cardigan to warm you up on top.

when dae ho saw you he was speechless. you weren’t dressed in anything fancy but seeing you out of those disgusting, bloody tracksuits was enough to leave him speechless.

“hi” even tho you had seen each other at your lowest and talked about anything and everything when you couldn’t sleep, you were still shy when you saw him.

“hey” he greeted you as shyly as you greeted him.

you were both quick to embrace each other in a hug. a very needed one. you had both witnessed such cruel things in that island and you both understand one anothers pain.

after a night of long talks about your lifes, what you were going to do with the money you both won and a little too much of wine you found yourself in his hold. kissing lazily as dae ho admired you. his fingers leaving delicate traces over your jaw. and your hands tugging at his hair.

as the kissing became more needy and your bodies danced together you felt him through your clothes, rubbing deliciously over you clothed clit. you placed your hand over his hard on and started rubbing him.

he pulled away and placed his hand over yours.

“see this? it’s all for you.”

you move down from you place on his lap to in between his thighs, carefully sliding off dae ho’s pants and releasing him from restraint of his underwear. you slowly wrap your mouth around dae ho’s shaft, your tongue wrapping rings around the tip and suckling softly making him moan loudly.

he watches you look up at him while you slowly but steadily lick up his shaft, making your way back to his tip where you begin to focus your tongue along slit.

his eyes roll back as you slowly start to bob your head

he wraps his hand around your hair, making a makeshift ponytail and gently pushed your head down, shoving more of his length in your mouth so deep that your nose is nearly up against the small patch of hair above his cock

you let out a soft gagging sound as his fat cock hits the back of your throat. you splutter a bit, drooling around the shaft. he guides you to bob your head by the grip he has on your hair.

dae ho panted out between gasping breaths, his voice tight with desperation as he felt the rising from the pit of his stomach.

“f-fuck…if you don’t im gonna…co-come.” he didn’t want it to end just yet so he yanked you off himself and laid you down.

he undressed you, then himself.

his hands roamed everywhere, from your back to your ass, to your stomach, caressing every inch of you.

he started to kiss his way down your body, kissing and biting your skin as he went.

ho's lips trailed down your body, his calloused hands explored every curve as if he was trying to engrave it to his mind.

he fondled with your boobs. the one he has been day dreaming about. you stared at dae ho as he did so. taking in those puppy brown eyes that were looking up at you, the warmth of his skin and that god send hair of his. he suddenly dipped his head, latching himself to one of your nipples as he toyed with the other, feeding into the pooling wetness between your thighs. your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, your hips automatically responded by grinding up onto dae ho’s cock.

you moan, loudly.

moving one hand down your hips, skimming past your burning thigh before reaching the small bundle of nerves. you let out a small whine against his heated neck, bucking your hips against his fingers.

he watched as your head fell back while his thick fingers slid against your drenched folds. dae ho thrusted his fingers into your warm walls, briefly watching you envelope him entirely.

“shit, shit, shit,” you whisper as dae ho’s fingers slip in and out of you. he’s feverishly kissing down the side of your thighs, bites left in between. you groan in slight pain as you tug on his soft hair. he curls his fingers inside of you. you mewl at the touch.

“i need... i need..." you breathed, "i need you in me, fuck." his entire body shuddered with a sharp arousal at your words. with all the willpower he has left he removes his finger from your wet hole.

he was quick to position himself at you opening. he rubbed his shaft over your slit, gathering your wetness and nudging your clit as he did so.

you gasped as he pressed his cock into you slowly, his whispered praises to keep your focus on him. “that’s it,” he encouraged, his hand braced yours and pinned them up over your head. “you’re doing so good for me, baby.”

he started moving slowly, savoring the feeling of your warmth. a tiny, needy moan could be heard from him. it's like you were made for him, your gummy walls perfectly stretched out to cling to every last vein and inch on his cock.

hooking your legs around his waist as he grabs your hip with one hand and angles your body up, causing the tip of his cock to kiss your cervix. “s-so big!” dae bo groaned softly and stared at you in awe, at the pleasured expression on your face he fucked you, oh, so deep.

you felt so good, his cock moving so easily in and out of your warm and wet pussy. he groans feeling your pussy close in on him, getting tighter and tighter. “you feel s-so…good!”

lifting your head up, you stare into his eyes. mouth agape as moans kept spilling from your mouth.

it wasn’t long till he felt you squeeze him so hard he moaned and stuttered his hips for a second. you moaned even louder now, your legs felt like jelly.

“you gonna come? come on my cock, baby. let me feel you.” he rubbed your clit with his thumb, putting just the right amount of pressure on it, needy to make you cum.

he could see you slowly fall apart. your body was shaking with pleasure, your hands reaching towards his thick biceps to hold.

he grunted, feeling you clench around his cock. "cum... cum for me," he beckoned, increasing the speed of his cock and the pressure of his thumb on your clit.

your body jerked and convulsed over him, your brain unable to control it any longer. your climax hit you hard. your moans were high pitched and dazed. you were completely lost in pleasure.

your pleasure only fueled his. dae ho groaned at the feel of his twitching cock in your walls. “aah, shit," dae ho cussed, drunk on your pussy.

you both moaned when you felt the hot ropes of his cum spill into your walls. his hips stuttered, as you took every last drop from him.

he buried his chin into your neck, riding out his last few moments of his climax. he placed a few lingering kisses across your neck, coming to your lips last and capturing them with his once again.

placing a kiss on your forehead, he slowly removed his softening cock from your pussy. you both watched his cum mixed with your spill out of you.

he swooped you into his arms making you yelp. "let's take a shower and get you cleaned up, yeah?”

[quokkaholic]

Teenage Heaven h.j

Warnings: MDNI, fluffy smut with some plot, alcohol consumption, kissin and touchin, f nipple play, dry humping, cussing duh. Lightly edited

Synopsis: (NOT about teens)Y/n and Han are in the early stages of their relationship and are meeting up in NYC for the first time since you met initially while he is there for work. Despite being long distance, neither of you want to rush into sleeping together, but that doesn’t mean you guys can’t do other stuff to satisfy your cravings.

Song recommendation: Teenage Heaven by Be Your Own Pet

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Han was anxious to tell you that, as much as he wanted to greet you at the baggage claim, it just wasn’t possible, no matter how much he begged staff to allow it. Despite that, he assured you he’s tracking your flight and will be in a car there waiting for you. When the plane lands in NYC, you turn off airplane mode to send a message to Han only to be inundated by messages from him.

“I cant believe i get to see you in a few hours”

“Im scared”

“And excited”

“Mostly excited”

“I can’t think about anything else. Why aren’t you here already?”

“It’s only been like half an hour”

“Im going to squeeze the life out of you”

“You should be scared too”

“I’m getting no work done”

“This is dumb asf”

“I should’ve been camping at your gate since last night”

“Should’ve never left the airport, and just waited there for you”

“You should be landing in an hour and 47 minutes”

“I keep trying to get them to take me to the airport already. They brush me off like im crazy”

“not crazy”

“Maybe for you tho 😉”

“Headed your way! Yuuh!”

“We’re parked outside”

“You landed 2 minutes ago…WHERE ARE YOU?”

“I tried to make a break for it, but staff knows me too well. child lock is on”

You are grinning at the phone screen as you read them, not only because of how adorable it is, but because you feel similarly. You tried to take a little nap on the flight, but your nerves and anticipation kept you wide awake. You let Han know that your plane hasn’t even taxied into the gate yet, but you'll be with him as fast as your legs can carry you.

“What does your bag look like? I could send someone to go get it for you, so you can just come straight to me. I'm already doing it. What color is it? Does it have a tag or anything?” He’s doing everything in his power to get you into his arms as soon as possible.

“I didn’t check a bag, Sungie. I just have my carryon and a backpack, so I can come straight to you ☺️” 

“Perfect. Better run babe”

Typically when you fly, you are one of the last ones to exit the plane, waiting for everyone else to grab their stuff from the overhead bins and trudge through the crowded aisle, but today you were the first one standing. You think people could sense your urgency; no one even tried to hop out in front as you slipped between the seats. Following the signs, you speed walk to the pick up area that Han is parked at. Your eyes are immediately drawn to a blacked out luxury hatchback with a tint as dark as us legally allowed; there's a man standing at the back resting on the bumper, and he waves you over. As you approach you see an almost unrecognizable figure wearing sunglasses, a mask, and beanie with his face smushed up against the dark glass. When you reach the car, the staff member waiting for you opens the trunk, and you go to pick up your luggage to load it, but are thrown off by a shout from the backseat of the vehicle.

“Y/nnah! Get in the damn car!”

You stayed up late last night stressing about this very moment. How would it feel to see him again? What if the connection isn’t there like it was last time? Would it be awkward? Would you two just end up sitting in silence? As you enter the car, you realize your hours of anxiety ridden overthinking were all for nothing. He immediately clings to you pulling you in for a soul warming embrace. You somehow manage to end up simultaneously both be in each other's laps becoming a roiling lump of limbs and love, unable to tear your hands off him. Memorizing how he feels, for those nights where you question if he is even real or just a self indulgent illusion. There are a few shared kisses, but you are holding yourselves back for the sake of the driver and security in the front seat.

Seeing him in person is a bit like seeing a ghost, and it has you and Han both in a state of awe. There is, in fact, a period of dreaded quiet between you and Han, but it's not awkward. It’s one you two share intentionally to bask in your togetherness. You are both but caught up in the moment, unable to believe this truly happened and worked out. Smiling at eachother with rosy cheeks and racing hearts, you train all of your senses on him, barely even noticing the soft sound of the radio in the background. 

You go over what the next few days of your vacation have in store with Han. When planning, initially he pitched going on a date tonight, but after some discussion, you both decided it would be better to have a hotel room date and just order food, so you cans have uninterrupted couple time for the first time.

The hotel is stunning, way fancier than you've ever stayed at. You enter through a back entrance that is arguably more grandiose than the main lobby as it's only used for high profile guests. Han shows you to your suite; his room is only a little down the hall. Opposed to your typical single rooms with a bathroom and a kitchenette, this place is like a luxury apartment: bedroom, living room, dining area, massive bathroom with a bathtub and shower, and a separate toilet room all designed and littered in the most up to date, trendy decor.

“Ji, you didn’t have to do all this. A normal room would have been more than acceptable!”

“Y/nn I know I didn’t have to. I do this because I want to. Plus, I kind of intend to be over here a lot, so I didn’t want it to be too cramped. I also wanted there to be a place we could sit together that wasn't the bed to be… respectful I guess” He can’t hold your gaze as the last part passes his lips. 

“You're so sweet, Jisung” You say as you walk over to him after you dropped your bags. He's cheeks hot and avoiding your eyes; you are drawn to him, possessed to hug and squeeze and never let go. The snuggle pulls Han out of his shyness caused by your compliment.

“That was the first time I’ve heard you say my name in person” He says nuzzling his face into your neck. He snakes his hands around your waist and delivers his promise from earlier; Han squeezes you so hard, like an python, he manages to squeeze tighter and tighter while attacking your neck with quick tight lipped pecks until your back cracks. It startles him a bit, gasping and releasing his hold to grab your shoulders with a look of horror on his face. If you weren’t immediately cackling about it, he would have been worried he hurt you. 

Han was considerate enough to think ahead, and the food was to be delivered soon after you guys arrived at the hotel for an early dinner so you guys could spend the evening together. For now there is nothing to do but enjoy being in each other’s company, and it feels so right. It's tender beyond comprehension, but not overly explicit: gentle kisses and even gentler hands traveling up ticklish sides or through lush hair.  Running your hands up and down his toned arms, you can't help but grab them briefly, feeling his muscles flex under your touch; they have definitely grown since the last time you saw him. You guys slowly start to get more and more comfortable and bold. The soft grazes transition to firm pets, but there is soon a knock on the door. He took your suggestion, and ordered from your favorite restaurant from the last time you were here as well as a bottle of your favorite wine which he must’ve committed to memory from a long passed conversation, as you don't even remember sharing that info. 

Dinner is a dream. The table is by the massive glass sliding doors that lead out to the balcony allowing the city lights to stream in. It goes without saying that the chat is immaculate, but the energy is so familiar and fun. You aren’t worried about eating too much in front of him or talking with your mouth full. Jisung just makes you feel comfortable and admired, like you can just be yourself and he’ll savor every moment. Once dinner is over and the bottle of wine is empty, you two make your way to the couch under the guise of wanting to show you some new music he has been working on, but the intense stares and frequent brushing hands had the tension quite high. He simply turns on some tunes to not be in silence, before your lips find each other. 

The intimacy from early returns tenfold with newly injected sensuality. The firm grips progress to needy grasping, with daring finger dipping under the hems of your shirts, and you find yourselves in a passionate makeout. Although the kiss is hot and lustful, his tongue is timid in its exploration, so soft and gentle as it glides through your mouth, careful to tame his raging desire and not to use too much force. It becomes the sloppy and impassioned kind of kiss you can lose hours to. Your session goes till your lips are swollen and your hair is a mess. You would say the light lip product you had on was gone, but you know exactly where it is, it’s smeared out all over and around your mouths only adding to the kissed raw look. Han’s messy love drunk expression spurs you on, and while traveling your kisses down to his neck, his hands grip your hips to lift and guide you to straddle him. You don’t hesitate to follow his lead.

Settling yourself down onto him, you both let out a small gasp, and you have to fight your instinct to seek friction, but your restraint is short lived. After Ji undoes your bra and helps you remove it from under your shirt, his hands are glued to your breasts gently kneading while intermittently rubbing his thumbs over your nipples drawing soft moans from your lips and little circles of your hips.

You keep trying to give him attention by kissing his shoulders or nibbling on his ear, but he will only let you do it for a moment before he switches his affections back to you. Once you notice the pattern, you pull away for a second, also partially to catch your breath. You ask through pants,

“Am I doing okay? You keep cutting me short,” staring down into his eyes you see no sign of discontent. In fact, at your words his full cheeks tense into a big smile before going back to attacking your neck and mumbling against your skin like he can’t look at you when he admits,

“You just sound too good, Yn. I can’t get enough.”

His words alone make you whimper into his ear causing him to shiver. He begins to move lower, lingering on your collar bones. Licking and nipping. He lightly presses together and lifts your tits to his mouth to kiss them through your shirt. Kissing all over but planting light kisses to your hard bud before switching to the other. He reaches for the bottom hem of your top and looks up to check in before he proceeds.

“This okay?” You struggle to find your words and just nod down to him with your lips pressed together, but he asks again wanting a verbal confirmation from you as he begins to raise your top.

“Feels good baby?”

It would be much easier to respond if he wasn’t giving feather light kissing to your sensitive nipples.

“Yes, Ji. I… I really like it” you say, gasping as he pinches your bud between his top teeth and tongue. Screwing your eyes shut as seeing him look up through his tousled hair with his adoring gaze, mouth connected to your chest, makes you feel like you’re going to melt. You can no longer restrain the involuntary rutting of your hip and decide to just commit. One of Han's hands shoots down to grip your hip tight enough to leave fingerprints and presses you down to grind into him. His previously low and soft moans are rising in volume and frequency being dampened by your skin. Your linen pants are cute and were so comfortable for the flight, but they do little in the way of concealing what you are grinding against. They are so thin that you can target your clit onto the zipper fold of his jeans over the shaft of his hard cock.

With all the work Han has put in with his mouth, it doesn’t take many circles of your hips to get the heat and pressure in your lower stomach to rise. You grab either side of Han's face and remove his mouth as the pleasure was starting to become too much and smash your lips down on his and moan into the kiss. Keeping your pressure firm and rhythm consistent, Han’s breath is trembling, whimpering and whispering your name. His sounds, his words, his touch, it all works together in symphony, and you contract forward to rest your head on his shoulder and groan as the you reach the tipping point and you orgasm radiates through you. As you hold onto him and attempt to ride out your pleasure, the sensation of Han now gripping you with both hands pushing you down on his lap, aiding in your grinding as he fucks up against you have another high crashing over you. His voice is shaky when he finds the ability to speak,

“Fuck. Feels so… I’m gonna…Oh my god”

His rolling of his hips has turned to erratic bucking as he cums hard shuddering, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing like earlier.

“Holy shit. I haven’t jizzed my pants since I was a teen” Han giddily admits with just a twinge of embarrassment, still clinging to you trying to catch his breath.

“This is a first for me! Didn’t know it could even happen” you confess still winded from the pleasure, causing you both to let out weak laughter, neither of you daring to move for a few minutes, just lounging in the afterglow. You guys decide that Han will stay to watch some stuff and if he just so happens to fall asleep here, oh well, right? Getting two rooms was out of respect and consideration, but you both knew you’d end up sleeping in the same bed. He lets you freshen up in the bathroom first, and once you exit, he has a fresh set of clothes in his arms. He must’ve called one of the guys to bring them. 

The rest of the night is filled with endless snuggles and random movies you can find on the hotel channels; the Harry Potter movies always seem to be on TV, so you end up watching two random ones of the series out of order. Han offers to go get his laptop to hook up to the tv, but neither of you care enough to walk the 40 feet down to his room and back. This night isn't about the movies, it's about taking in every moment of being in the same room. You guys end up staying up late flicking through channels, becoming amateur film critics. It's a bit past 1am when Han has the brilliant idea for you guys to go to a convenience store nearby and pick up some ice cream. You are in the city that never sleeps, and you will never turn down an adventure or a sweet treat. He sends a text to Minho claiming he can’t get ice cream without at least offering to get one for his best friend.

“Going to get ice cream. Meet in lobby in 10”

You and Han put on your shoes and coats and share a few more smooches before you can’t for 20 minutes.

“Did Minho respond?”

“No but he read it”

“So..?”

“He’s probably already down there waiting for us”

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A.n- I initially wrote this for a Han fic I was making before I realized that writing long form fanfic was not for me, so there's a bit more plot in this one. Thanks for reading.

-mo 💕

Mastserlist

[jambalaya-enthusiast]

I have no idea what this is, I had a dream and I just need to write this shit down. im going thru it rn. trust.

mentions of throwing up, kind of ooc jimmy, just feels, cursing.

The bass from the party music still thumped across the room, while you decided to be quick on your feet and drag your legs towards the balcony door, trying to get some fresh air from the cramped atmosphere you were trapped in for who knows how long.

once the balcony door opened, a wave of cold air stung your face, whooshing past you, and scattering a few hair strands here and there, you stepped outside, and walked towards the railing. you stood there, just breathing and taking in all the glory of the dimly lit night sky, and looked at the skyline glowing vibrantly with distant noises of traffic and the citylife.

"crawled out of the wild night?", A voice from behind you made you whip your head back and come face to face with your boyfriend, jimmy.

"you seriously call that a party? Half of them have puked up whatever cheap alcohol they'd drank. It's so gross". you retorted back at him. "Can we leave already? please? Let's stay over at my place instead, yeah?". you suggested.

Instead of answering or even giving you a nod as an acknowledgement, jimmy decided to instead stare at you, so intently that it made you gulp a lump which'd formed in your throat, he stared at you with his lips curled into a subtle smile, so subtle it wouldn't even have caught your eye if you weren't paying attention. And then, as suddenly as he'd started staring, he said,

"Why are you actually with me?". He said in a tone so deadpan that you would've thought that he was out of it. "What? Are you okay?".

"No, y/n I'm asking you, I'm being serious, why do you even like me?". Jimmy said. "Jim are you okay? Where is this coming from? Now, of all times?".

Arguments with your boyfriend weren't an uncommon occurrence, it was as normal as deciding to drink a cup of coffee. This, however, was new. Your arguments never revolved around him being conscious about his self worth.

"A day never goes by without us arguing, without any of your 'friends' telling you to leave me. without me calling you a whore at least twice a day. So why are you with me even after all of it? It would've been easier for me to understand if you were a hooker, just looking for a place to crash at without trying to make actual connections. But you don't have any reason, so why are you with me?".

You were left dumbfounded, was this actually happening? Him, of all people, asking you why you loved him? Was this his idea of a joke?

"Jim did they fucking poison you at the party? Do you even realise what you're asking me?". You decided to answer.

"I know damn well what I'm talking about, y/n. Now answer the fucking question, why do you love me? Do you have some kinda messiah complex? trying to 'fix' me? or something like that? a new type of fetish?".

Your jaw was practically left hanging at your boyfriend's sudden display of aggressive attitude towards defending the idea that you loved him for an ulterior motive.

"Why don't you hate me?". He snapped once again.

"Because you don't give me any reason to". You finally said back.

"Oh don't give me that crap, I give ya plenty of reason to dump my ass and run away from me, any other person would've called the fuckin' cops on me". He continued on.

"Because I love you, Jim". You stopped him mid sentenced.

"I love you not in the sense that I want to get in your pants or steal your wallet, or save you from your misery, or whatever else nonsense you have going on in your mind". Jimmy was still looking at you with narrowed, skeptical eyes.

"I love you, as one might love another person, simply because they wanna love them. I love you, because I want to love you". You didn't realise that your chest was starting to feel heavy, and your vision was getting blurry, but you continued on.

"I love you because... because I want to. Not because I have to, not because there's some fuckin'... i don't know, social obligation that one must require to love another? I don't have it, i don't need it. You make me want to love you without any cause, I love you in the sense that... I love you because I can, I love you in the way that I need to... let you know that I can't do without you goddamn it. Why? Do you not want me to love you?".

At this point tears were flowing down your cheeks like a goddamn waterfall, you weren't yelling, you weren't pleading. you were simply letting your boyfriend know that you loved him.

Jimmy's eyes were wide, it's almost as if he'd seen some ghost, trying to prove to him its existence. Without saying a word hugged you so tight as if it was the last thing he could do before dying.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so fucking sorry". He repeated those words like a mantra, neither of you know what came over for this conversation to take place in the first place, but now that it has. You're unsure if you wanted for this to have never happened.

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

what is The Goddamn Door?

i worked in store that shall not be named, but rest assured it was understaffed enough that leaving the register was a struggle every time. there were two bathrooms - to the right of entrance there was a hall, and on the left was the customers' bathroom, the right the employees. both of them are clearly labelled so.

both of these bathrooms were locked, with keys that attached to a pair of spatulas to tell them apart, because they weren't interchangeable. if a customer wanted to use the bathroom, they had to ask me for the spatula.

I was new to the world, young. It was my first job working with the public. I foolishly thought this would be a simple task.

"Here's the key! The bathrooms are over there by the entrance"

People come back saying they cant find it, which, okay. I think the hallway is pretty obvious, and has a big sign over it that says restroom and both the doors are labeled but. okay. i go through several variations in this first stage.

"Here's the key! There is a hall on the right, and the door on the left"

"Here's the key. There is a hall to the right of the entrance under a red sign - red, yes, red, not yellow, that is a wet floor sign-"

"If you look over there do you see the red sign on the wall that says restroom well if you follow it-"

but finally i managed to a majority of people to at the very least, arrive at the hall. but then they come back saying the key doesnt work, because they were putting it in the employee bathroom door. which okay. i also struggle to tell my left from my right on a good day. no shame. i get it.

but you see. there is another door. just behind you. and maybe TO ME YOU SEE JUST IN MY PERSONAL OPINION it would make the most sense to try the key in the other door also yes. but no they come back and they tell me. that the key doesnt work.

and when i get the hang enough to get them to the correct bathroom door mostly further unaided, they put the.

listen.

listen.

i'm trying to be so so so zen about this but they put the key in knob and then they trun the knob. but they didnt turn the key first to engage the tumbler.

and im TRYING im trying the radical compassion thing so hard lately but okay okya its fine. its fine it was many years ago

ahem

anyway

they come back. and they tell me the the key does not work. so the spiel at this point, if you have been keeping track (because i have been keeping track because the final variance of this goddamn script has been burned into the backs of my eyelids for all of eternity until the heat death of the universe, probably)

"Here is the key. To the right of the entrance, under a red sign is a hall, and when you enter the hall to your left will be a door with the words "Public Restroom." you have to put the key in the lock and turn it to open the door"

i need you to understand i am not talking about one specific individual who was particularly struggling. this confounding riddle developed over the course of months. every single time i thought i had it down to a science, someone would come back with a new and even more inexplicable variety on conundrum with this DOOOOOOOOR. ITS A DOOOOOOOOR THERE'S BEEN DOORS IN EVERY BUILDING YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN-

hh. okay.

and i'd thing 'one person isnt enough to update the whole thing' but its never ever just one person. its sisyphean. its like theres a troupe of hundred of improv performers whose job day in and day out is to ask themselves "how many different way can we not understand how to PUT A KEY. IN A LOCK. IN A DOOR. to torment this one specific 20yo into madness."

and you'd think that's it right. you see i have no specified what way one ought to turn the key in the lock.

and you see now. you see how the ourobouros devours its tail.

because the final variation is this

"Here is the key, To the right of the entrance, under a red sign is a hall, and when you enter the hall to your left will be a door with the words "Public Restroom." you have to turn the key in the lock to the left, and the knob to the right."

and thats too many directions so no one remembered it.

you do not want to know how much money i would pay to put The Goddamn Door through a woodchipper

[unicyclehippo]

Hey, Ollie, you mentioned AGES ago that Show Me the Way Home (Avatrice) had a second chapter, it just wasn't perfect yet-- do you think you'll ever post it? Or is that officially an abandoned fic?

its not abandoned, i actually did some minor editing on it the other day. the problem is that its a very seasonally locked piece in my mind & also im lazy & also a perfectionist & also i want to watch wn again before i keep writing it bc i need to rmbr what the characters are like & basically any one of those obstacles are enough to shut me right down so.

it actually is a four part story & if u want, i can share a little with u now? maybe that'll make me feel better for not posting it yet lmao

thursday 22nd december

// 6:55 //

Beatrice stood by the doorway of her apartment, phone in hand and duffel bag at her feet, and wished she was already at her parent’s holiday home. 

It wasn’t that she thought their reunion would be simple or pleasant; it was more that today had started hot and was getting hotter and her parents kept their home at a crisp twenty-three degrees at all hours of the day and night, environmental impact be damned. As the humidity clung to her, a bead of sweat rolling down the back of her neck, Beatrice’s thoughts drifted to the crystal blue pool and the ocean wind that would blow up from the cove and she checked her phone again for any word from her driver. 

Camila’s voice travelled from the kitchen. ‘Maybe you should take the can opener with you. I mean, what if you need to open a can and you don’t have one? There might be beans. Baked beans, cannellini beans, red kidney beans.’

‘I’m sure my parents have one. They do have a kitchen. And a personal chef.’

Camila heard her. The apartment was too small for her not to have heard but she continued listing off every tinned item she could think of. 

‘Lentils, obviously. Diced tomatoes, crushed tomatoes, peeled tomatoes, puréed tomatoes.’ There was a long pause. Beatrice wondered if Camila was reading the labels of what they had in the pantry; if she was, those lentils had been there for a very long time. ‘Tinned peaches.’

‘I think those come with a tab now,’ Beatrice pointed out. She kept her voice mild, not really wanting to draw Camila’s attention to her hiding place by the door. 

At some point over the last few days, the nerves buzzing under Beatrice’s skin had jumped ship and now Camila was the one pacing the confines of their apartment. She’d picked over every inch of the house in search of things Beatrice might need—which ranged from the useful, like the good phone charger she’d “found” (definitely hadn’t stolen out of her room a month ago) to what could be charitably called not useful, like the can opener—and now she stood at the end of the hall bearing the can opener and a dark frown befitting a serial killer. 

Beatrice cleared her throat. Carefully, she said, ‘I really don’t think I need it.’

Camila looked down at her weapon. ‘Oh. Right. No, sure, of course not.’ She tossed it backward into the living room; it missed the couch, landing instead on the floor with a loud thud, the sound of their rental bond being instantly halved. Beatrice winced. Camila seemed not to have noticed, though, and with her hands now empty she returned to chewing nervously at her thumb nail. She scanned the living room, hawkish, before fixing her attention on Beatrice once more. 

‘Can I help you?’

‘Are you sure you want to do this?’

‘Camila…’

‘Because you don’t have to. You know that, don’t you? It’s not your only option—you could come home with me again! My parents would love it, we’d all love it, I promise. And you wouldn’t be intruding at all, I swear. The boys ask about you all the time and when you’re coming to visit again.’

‘They’re very sweet.’

‘Sweet! When they want something, sure! They’re still hoping you’ll teach them how to throw people—they bring up your match with Conner every time I call home.’

‘Tell them I’ll think about it.’

‘That can be your Christmas present for them. And Pop, he says you’re the only good one of the bunch.’

‘It’s because I don’t talk.’

‘I know. Poor guy. Christmas in a household of me’s. It’s so loud we have to mime everything for him.’

Beatrice smiled. ‘He turns off his hearing aids.’

‘What? That sneak!’

‘Don’t tell him I was the one that dobbed him in.’

‘It’ll be the very first thing I say—then you won’t be his favourite anymore and the rest of us will have a fair shot.’ Laughter shone in her eyes; it faded a little as she stared at Beatrice, gaze flicking down to the duffel at her feet. ‘I’m serious, Bea. You could call up your parents and tell them you’re not coming anymore. I’d prefer you tell them to go fuck themselves but.’ She sucked in a breath, shook her head. ‘Bea. Don’t waste your time on them. Spend your holiday with people who want you around. Who love you.’

It was a tempting offer. Of course it was.

From the day they met, Camila had been Beatrice’s friend; from the second, her sister. She’d gone out of her way to be all that a sister could be—kind, understanding, supportive, deeply irritating—and offered it all without cost. Her family was just the same. 

Beatrice remembered last Christmas fondly. The singing, the laughter, her chair squashed up to the end of the table next to Camila’s, the friendly chatter, the elbows bumping, the squabbles breaking out, the yet more guests arriving and pulling up a chair, the pass the salt, pass the butter, pass the damn water would you I’m dying over here, where’s the champagne, Arthur we don’t need another bottle of champagne it’s not even midday for Christssake, Beatrice do you want a second serve help yourself sweetheart, when do we open the presents. It had been loud, sometimes overwhelming, and wonderful all the same. 

But. 

Beatrice shook her head. 

Camila sighed. ‘I had to try, obviously.’

‘I know. Thank you.’ She set her hand on Camila’s wrist and squeezed. ‘I appreciate it, very much. Please tell them… Please tell everyone I miss them and that I’ll see them soon.’

‘You mean for your surprise birthday party?’

Beatrice smiled. ‘I’m looking forward to it.’

‘Good. Because mum’s going to need a menu from you—’

‘I thought we agreed we’d buy the food, Camila, I’m not making your mum cook for me.’

‘She likes to cook for her kids. Unless you want me to tell her you’d prefer eating a stranger’s food over hers?’ Beatrice scowled at the bold threat. ‘That’s what I thought. Pick what you want and I’ll tell her. Better yet, text her yourself.’

‘If I know your mother, she has something in mind already.’

‘More like eleven somethings.’ 

They shared an identical grin. Camila’s mother had a small habit of going overboard for parties and events. A buzz broke the moment. They both glanced down at Beatrice’s phone. 

Mr. Morris I have arrived

Beatrice Thank you. I will be there momentarily.

Beatrice nodded. This was it. She slid her phone into her pocket. ‘Mister Morris is here. I should go.’ To Camila’s suddenly stricken expression, she soothed, ‘It will be fine, Camila.’ And, because she was not completely oblivious to Camila’s concern, ‘I will be fine.’

‘I know that. Of course I know that. But I want—you don’t have to be just fine. You should be having fun. You’re my best friend, Bea, I want you to be happy.’

Beatrice paused. She struggled for a moment to think of a way to explain the purpose of this holiday to Camila, explain her purpose, in a way that she would understand and accept. 

‘It means so much,’ she began, carefully, ‘to be welcome in your family. But they will always be your family.’

‘Bea…’

‘You and they are all beyond generous.’ She held up a hand to stop Camila interrupting. ‘I know they love me, and I love them. I do love Christmas with your family. It’s always wonderful and comfortable and fun.’ She paused, considering her words. ‘But this is - this is about me,’ she admitted with difficulty, and was rewarded for the effort when Camila softened. ‘I want to go. I need to find out whether I have a place with them or not. And I’ve been so uncertain of how it might turn out that I haven’t tried. But this invitation is an opportunity. One would like to make the most of.’

Camila grabbed both of her hands and pulled her close. Very intensely, she said, ‘Okay.'

'Okay? Just like that?' Beatrice asked, doubtful.

'Yeah. I’m not going to say I understand because I don’t. It honestly makes me furious and a little bit sick to think of you going back to them. But I love you and I trust you and I want you to call me if you need anything. And whatever happens, Beatrice, you always have a place with me. Always.’

Beatrice smiled. Shifted so that she was the one holding Camila’s hands. Her friend wouldn’t let her go willingly and there was a big part of Beatrice that wanted to let herself be held tight and give in to her friend’s protectiveness, to be bundled safely up into Camila’s terrifying little car and trundling off to visit family. 

It was hard to pull free. 

Beatrice stepped back and opened the door.

‘There’s no need to fret, Camila. I’ll have Ava with me, remember?’

‘Yeah. I know. It’ll be great, you’ll see.’ The tightness around her eyes told Beatrice she didn’t quite believe her own words. ‘And you’ll call me.’

‘Every day.’

With one last hug, Beatrice picked up her bags and left. 

// 7:03 //

The town car waited for her outside the apartment. It was sleek and black, washed and polished; the only evidence of the recent storms were faint specks of grey mud deep in the tyre wells.

Beatrice stopped at the bottom of the stairs, observing the car and its driver—Mister Morris, patiently stood at the kerb—and swallowed around a lump in her throat. He looked the same as when she had left. A little more silver in his hair.

He might not have changed much but she had. Now that she was grown (or perhaps, now that she was not in that household), she found herself full of questions—where was it that Mister Morris had driven from? Where did he live? Had the storms been bad on his side of town? How had he passed the time? Had they lost power? (She and Camila had huddled in their living room—it was, Camila had insisted, the perfect weather for a marathon of gory slashers—and the rain had hammered against the windows with frightening strength but had done no damage. She knew others had not been so fortunate.) Most pressing of all, how had he been? Questions that could not be answered by hiding.

Beatrice gripped the strap of her duffel and, setting her shoulders, marched to meet him.

‘Good morning, Mister Morris.’

‘Miss Turner,’ he greeted her, his smile small but true. ‘A pleasure to see you again. How are you?’

‘Quite well, thank you.’ Then, keeping her tone light and brisk, ‘And yourself?’

‘Very well, Miss Turner. Very well.’ It looked as if he wanted to say something more but then he only smiled and cleared his throat. ‘Your luggage, Miss?’

‘I can see to it myself.’

Beatrice stashed her duffel in the boot then folded herself neatly into the backseat. Mr. Morris retook the driver’s seat. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Beatrice fixed her eyes on the headrest in front of her.

‘We have another stop to make, Mr Morris.’

‘Yes, miss. Do you have the address?’

‘I do.’ She ran a finger along the inside of her watchband, rubbing away the sweat that had gathered there. She made it a notch tighter, then loosened once more. ‘They are - That is to say, she is my—’

Mr. Morris met her eyes in the rear-view mirror. His were green and kind. The kindness did not make it easier to say.

‘She is my girlfriend.’ 

‘Yes. I know.’

‘Oh.’

‘Though your mother used slightly different terminology. Companion, I believe she said.’ He kept his eyes locked onto the rearview mirror. When Beatrice glanced into it again, he said warmly, ‘Congratulations, miss. That’s wonderful. I’m very glad to hear it.’

When she had been younger, there had been a stretch of time where running away had seemed very appealing. Each time she attempted it, Beatrice had never made it further than the park four streets from her home. She’d been too pragmatic, even at ten years old, but she’d also been stubborn so Beatrice had say there in the swing until someone noticed; whomever did notice, it was always Mr. Morris who collected her. She was reminded of it as he started the engine. The sound of its growl scared old memories out of hiding—she remembered how the plastic swing creaked, the feel of the metal chain in her little hands, how the gravel of the park entry had crunched beneath the town car tyres. How the headlights had washed over her and away with the tilt of his park and how invisible she’d felt when the lights turned off. Like a ghost haunting the playground.

Beatrice stared thoughtfully at his back, remembering how he would climb out of the car and sit next to her on a too-small swing until she’d been ready to return.

‘Thank you, Mr Morris.’

He nodded. Then, ‘I do still need her address, miss.’

‘Oh. Yes, of course.’

[osamucide]

you should know that I ⭐️ annon am the same annon as floras 🐯 annon i am the one obsessed with feaksushi nakajima

i felt like it’s only appropriate i answer this ask with tonight’s thoughts and contemplations because tonight im contemplating and thinking a lot about gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi who trips and falls into his obsession with you. he really wasn’t looking for anything, much less this. he probably meets you on an assignment, or you happen upon the Agency with an inquiry, whether you’re a civilian or from a neighboring organization—it doesn’t matter, because whatever way it happens, he never expects to be so taken with anyone so intensely, so quickly. it’s generous, really, to even say he’s met you; more like he saw you and was so awestruck that he immediately turned you over for Dazai or Kunikida to deal with so he wouldn’t have to worry about looking like a flustered mess in front of the most beautiful person he thinks he’s ever seen.

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi wholly avoids you whenever you’re in proximity for business outside of sneaking longing glances at you; no way, he thinks, anyone who carries themselves like you, looks like you, talks like you, would ever go for someone like him. you fill him with a desire he feels all over; he could almost hate it, hate you for it, want to stay far away from it. but when the office empties out at the end of the day, he’s thumbing frantically through files for anything on you—a picture, a middle name, an ability, anything. he can’t pinpoint a sole reason why but he’s utterly hypnotized by you.

it’s by total chance (and thorough combing through the president’s filing cabinet) gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi stumbles upon your address. he snaps the folder closed when he sees it—maybe he can talk himself out of what he already knows he’s going to do—but ultimately, he cracks it back open, studies it, commits it to memory. it’s funny, you’re put up smack in the middle between the Agency and that place that serves really good chazuke. for good measure, he slips the wallet-sized photo identifying you out of the paper clip holding it to your file and tucks it in his pocket.

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi knows it’s wrong, but he can’t help himself. since your case was resolved earlier this week, he hasn’t seen you in days—he feels deprived of your presence, your beauty, and it would be so wrong to say he’s nabbed your number from a professional setting. better to be subtle, he thinks, and plans for it to be a one time thing: the way he’s standing across the street, watching your lights, skirting your building, hiding on your fire escape, peering up over the windowsill to catch a glimpse of you inside.

needless to say, it’s not a one time thing for gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi to slink by your place every so often; in fact, it quickly goes from only once a week to multiple times until he’s doing it every day, even many times a day—slipping out for lunch, on a late night walk, when he should be running Agency errands. it’s like you’re drawing him in with some sort of magic. when he can’t make it by to watch you from the shadows, he sits at his desk or lays in bed looking at that little picture of you. you look so quietly stunning—so professional, so assured. the desire he feels could easily breed resentment, what with how much he’s convinced himself you’d never even look in his direction under normal circumstances.

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi can’t help, either, the way he comes to need you so badly without you even knowing. he lays in bed holding your photo with his lip bitten raw between his teeth while he rocks his hips back and forth against a pillow; when he closes his eyes, he pretends it’s you, pretends to hear soft, quiet good boy, Atsushis and other praises he just knows would sound heavenly leaving your lips. when he wraps his fist around his aching cock he pretends it’s your hole he’s fucking—he imagines what your sighs and moans would sound like woven between his own, fully aware that you probably don’t even remember he exists while he twitches and pants your name and spurts cum all over that little picture of your face.

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi gets grumpy and weird when he hasn’t had a taste of you in too long, which winds up being alarmingly short periods of time. he snaps at his coworkers, finds the strangest excuses for scuttling out of the office—to the point where Kunikida’s irritably comparing his tardiness to Dazai’s, and Dazai’s mockingly (and knowingly) comparing his little outbursts with Kunikida’s. he’s so not himself. he knows it, too—but he can’t stop crouching beneath your window, drinking you in between the tiny gaps in your blinds, palming his dick through his pants while he watches you do the most mundane things—make dinner, sit at your computer, read a book, stretch out on the couch in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear.

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi holds onto all the little details—the way your shirt rides up when you reach for something in your cabinets, the way you absentmindedly start undoing your belt on your way to the shower, your reactions to whatever you’re watching on television—all of it. he eats up every crumb of you like he’s starving. he’s so desperate for each new piece of you he finds. soon, however, it stops feeling like enough; he needs more of you, and he feels horrible, already having gone through your file and kept your photo and watched you in what you thought was the privacy of your home, but he can’t help it. he can’t resist you.

somewhat reluctantly, gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi hatches plans to break in through your fire escape door and sneak around your place. he already knows your schedule by heart, and his mentor’s taught him enough about lock picking that it won’t be messy; he’ll wait until you’re out on the weekend, or maybe away for work, and satiate his curiosity what he thinks will be for good—this too, of course, he tells himself will be a one time thing. he just needs to be in your space, smell you, feel you—perhaps take one more little something for him to remember you by and then he can be content with the prospect of maybe seeing you around the city sometime.

but it’s not that simple for gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi, of course. no matter how terrible he feels, no matter how much his conscience screams at him that he��s a creep, he’s disgustingly desperate, once he gets a little closer to you he knows there’s no going back. the first time he pokes around, innocently admiring your thoughtfully curated trinkets and spunky magnets on the fridge and houseplants you maybe forget to water sometimes, it’s a given that he comes across your basket of dirty laundry. he wasn’t looking for it, he’d swear up and down, if someone were to ask; like you, like everything, he just found it, and he couldn’t help himself. how is it his fault you’re so perfect, and that he needs more of you like you’re a drug?

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi lets himself steal things he’s mostly positive you won’t miss too much—a cone of your favorite incense here, a stick of your chapstick there, and eventually the old briefs that always end up forgotten about at the bottom of the basket. he makes his own sick little shrine to you, burning the incense while he thinks of you, putting on your lip balm and imagining you’ve kissed him with it, jerking off with one hand while the other holds your dirty underwear to his nose and he inhales so hungrily he gets dizzy. it makes it all sweeter when he cums, out of breath and sucking oxygen down, surrounded by you, while he keeps that soiled photo close enough by that he makes a mess on it over and over again. oops.

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi pushes his limits with how much he can take from you without you noticing—he watches you exit your building, sees you off on your way to work (which he’s also swung by a couple times—not that you’d have noticed), and tiptoes up to the sanctuary that is your apartment. he ends up with all sorts of souvenirs: a tiny sample bottle of your signature scent, locks of your hair from at home-trims, another photo of you off your crowded fridge door, a second pair of your underwear to blow his load into. it just gets better and better. but he needs more.

gross pathetic perv stalker!Atsushi thinks he must be crazy, breaking in this late, when he knows you could be back anytime. it’s almost like he wants you to catch him. it all comes back to the fact that he can’t help it; he needs something, anything to keep himself at bay for tonight because your underwear is so saturated with his cum these days that it’s starting to lose your smell. he’ll be quick, he thinks—that is, until he assumes he has time to jerk off facedown in your pillow, humping another pair of your underwear, and he doesn’t hear you closing your front door behind you.

[chaifootsteps]

i should've mentioned it when we were talking about tuca and bertie and them doing things right, but the arc bertie goes through with her SA and reclaiming it thru taboo fantasies is very similar to what ive been through, right down to a therapist opening me up to this new side of sexuality, and while it all happened to me years prior to the arc happening in the show, it broke me out of my anti shipper mentality that gave me this sense of justice and rigid rightness in what i was doing.

just thought now would be a good time to bring it up too because of the allegations against you and how what happened to max is basically the same thing that's happened to me. it's such an uncomfortable feeling to know someone who brought you into this world sees you like that, and having a fictional character similar to that person to self insert with in writing has helped far more then feeling disgusted with myself ever did or has, because i can stop anytime i want, or just get to a point where i move on completely from being able to gain anything from this personally. (which im leaning towards for now,) it's like bertie's therapist said, "because this time, you're in control."

i just wish antis could at least be more open to the idea that maybe, just maybe, shaming victims for coping this way isn't helpful, and that the lack of nuance implies shaming these uncontrollable fantasies (because you can't control your thoughts and like bertie's therapist said, "brains are weird!", although ive also heard the fear and arousal part of your brain is closely related which explains so many kinks to me tbh,) is the only form of healing and getting better, which it never will be. this kind of thing, of re-exploring your trauma thru fiction like this, definitely doesn't help certain people and that needs to be respected, but for anyone it does, they shouldn't just be written off as "normalizing their abuse", because im aware enough to keep this to myself, and to other people like me.

come talk to me about me "romanticizing" horrible things in fiction when you remember vivs shows have millions of views, and THATS why her writing like a fanfic author is bad - not because she inherently is one at heart. a large audience of adults should engage with these heavy topics, (and deserve to have them be written well, even if the stans swear they don't because nuh uh it's Da Best cuz mama viv made it,) not literal children. regardless of this unfortunate demographic that's naturally been formed and then unnaturally encouraged by the creator to line her pockets with their parents money, i think people have a moral obligation to tell a well written story about dark taboo subjects when they have such a large scale of production and connections like this, with some gray area in between, because theres some pieces of media that aren't as big as vivs creations or as small as fanfic writers (compared to other indie creations like video games or shows,) either, like mouthwash, or that one horror game with a sibling incest ending. that's what i mean when i said you aren't gonna make anyone want to fuck a lizard, but that vivs story's spread sentiment that would give 1970s victim blaming, "well, what was she wearing?" arguments a run for their money in how gross they are. i don't think max is gonna make anyone want to fuck their own dad either.

i hope this all makes sense! i think this is the most vulnerable ive ever been in your ask box. thank you for being someone who makes me feel strong enough to talk about this.

No, no, it makes perfect sense! Thanks for sharing your story, Anon...that was an incredibly vulnerable thing to talk about, and it couldn't have been easy.

I don't know if it's due to social media or what, but people have gotten really, really terrible at the concept of "I do my thing that works for me over here, you do your thing that works for you over there, and even though we don't understand each other, we mind our business about it." Like you said, it becomes a different conversation the more widespread and professional your piece of media is -- the same way that feeding 1,000 people a day is different than cooking for yourself -- but when we're talking about you and me and Max and all the randos on AO3? An appropriately tagged piece of work that makes a sharp distinction between fiction and reality is harmless.

What isn't harmless is telling someone that their intensely personal coping method is wrong and shameful and that they're a dangerous, evil person because it makes you uncomfortable, and that they're either a bad survivor or lying about being one.

Here's the scene from Tuca & Bertie, because it's so well done and always relevant.

[mueritos]

some autism thoughts!

so im feeling more and more comfortable with naming I'm autistic, both in public and online, and being open has come with some nice benefits. People who I felt strangely connected to during my program have re-entered my life (mostly cuz we have an overlapping schedule at some point during the week) and have told me about their journeys into getting assessed. A woman in my program who gave me a tangle fidget toy like 2 weeks into knowing me is thanking me for being so nonchalant about my autism. and i thanked her because she had with no hesitation given me that tangle when she noticed me picking at my skin, and now we are chatting about her writing down her symptoms and connecting on that.

similarly, being open about myself has allowed neurodivergent people around me to not fear being curious. they ask me questions, and I get the chance to ask questions back. a colleague of mine has a psychotic disorder that he's lived with his whole life, and I get to learn about his lived experience and what he's gone through because of sanism, and he gets to learn about my lived experience and how I struggle with social and sensory stuff. Similarly, I get to talk to my supervisor about his adhd, and he can make jokes about not needing a DSM-5 to diagnose me because he has worked extensively with autistic clients and knows that the diagnostic criteria does not speak at all to the lived experience of many autistics. It feels very validating to be seen by others and not be challenged on this part of me that feels very vulnerable, especially considering I'm still figuring it out and growing into it. And, at the same time, it feels so affirming to be able to work with autistic clients and be able to stim in session, allow them to take their time to speak, and approach them nonjudgementally. Some of my favorite sessions have been with people who can take up to 2-3 minutes of silence before responding to my questions! I just feel myself vibrate with excitement at the chance to let someone live their authentic self. I'll sit in as much silence needed if it means someone can have the time to process their thoughts.

at the same time, I carry a lot of anger. Anger that I can never go back to the way I lived just a few years ago. I spent over a year being severely to passively suicidal, barely holding onto life and the very foundation of my relationships to others, and I've come out an entirely new person. No longer do I feel the need to carry the burden of communication--I can only account for what I say and do. No longer do I feel the need to force myself out of the house when I don't want to, or to stay out later than wanted, or to pressure myself to say yes to other's because I should be doing things that other people my age are doing. I find so much joy and pleasure in sitting at home, in my pjs, watching video essays about Sonic the Hedgehog, or dinosaurs, or some youtuber drama. I am so so focused on making sure I never have to feel the way I did again, that I just cannot live the way I used to ever again.

i dunno! autism is weird and hard and fun and also a neutral thing about me. everyday I learn something new and try to strive for new coping techniques and joy :)

[red-takami]

HII NORTH ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ ) do you know a lot about manifestation/how to practice it? if so what has ur experience been with it? i have a follow up question but i dont want to sound like im interrogating you 😭 ill probably ask it after this question/in the comments of this question

Honestly I'm not good at it all that much 😭 besides shifting and actively experiencing a change, I almost never try any other methods of it because of how weird/complicated I make it on accident while trying.

In my personal experience, manifesting is like boomerang, you throw out your intention and you receive it back physically. It's sort of unpredictable, like sometimes you experience results immediately, or not for a long time. Sometimes it's not exactly what you envisioned, or maybe it's EXACTLY what you envisioned - but it's not what you needed in that instance yk?

I don't do it a lot, because unfortunately I get demotivated extremely easily. If I don't see results immediately then the doubts make it almost impossible to keep faith in my own intentions. Which is why whenever I shift, I make sure to have whatever I desire in mind so that way I don't need to go through all of this trouble for it.

When I was a younger kid, I would listen to subliminal messaging RELIGIOUSLY. Like every single day for at least a few hours at a time. I did this for probably around 3 years, starting when I first found out about subliminals and not stopping until I experienced something that had kinda made me realize the gravity of doing so like I did.

Nothing bad, at least not this first experience anyway. I remember back then, I was obsessed with werewolves specifically from twilight. It crossed my mind every single day so of course I was willing to jump into anything that could promise my own experience in such a life as a twilight werewolf 😭. I looked and explored all over the internet for different subliminals made by different sources and different affirmations, and no results at all. Eventually though, I just found I grew extremely patient with the results I was waiting for, I found that I genuinely just enjoyed the couple 3 or 4 main subliminals I had found enough to listen to them without the anticipation in my belly making it hard to be in the moment. Of course, back then I didn't realize this, nor did I realize what happened because of this newfound relaxation until one morning I woke up and the teeth in my mouth had all changed shape entirely. I looked in the mirror getting ready for school and vividly remember just standing there with my mouth open and frozen in my spot. My teeth were absolutely a different shape before this morning. I had fallen asleep that night to a subliminal and coincidentally, one of the affirmations were fangs and sharp k9's. This took the relaxation and turned it into slight intimidation. Made me realize that whatever I was doing, was working somehow. It was intimidating.

Second experience, years later in 2020 I had picked up subliminals once again after a year or two break from it, and instead of wolf subliminals - it was shifting subliminals. I won't name the account because honestly I can't remember but they're extremely problematic. I'm not the only bad experience with this account and their subliminals. I had fallen into the same routine, falling asleep to the subliminals daily, everything was fine enough at first that I didn't realize anything was wrong. Just chalked it up to my brain being an asshole.

Over time, and continuing to listen to those affirmations religiously, I started to experience some scary shit back to back, more than normal. Nightmares that weren't lucid but felt more vivid than reality, where the contents were nothing but darkness and pure malicious invasion of my mind and dream state. It was disgusting. I stopped after I realized what the reasoning for these things was, and eventually even heard the same exact stories from other shifters who used that accounts subliminals.

I don't use subliminals at all anymore, but only because I know I don't need them. However, if I did, I now know for a fact that this shit is serious, manifestation is real and you need to take caution with what you're trying to make your reality. This was my second time being shown this, and now my main form of manifesting is just shifting, so I'm sorry if that's not helpful. Feel free to ask anything else!!!

[theworldofotps]

Forgotten Birthday (Drabble)

Pairing: Bayley x OC Bri Word Count 645 Description: Bri thinks Bayley forgot her birthday.

Wishing the happiest birthday to one of the best friends a person could have. @madhatterbri having you in my life this past year has truly been an adventure. I hope you get all you wish for, and that this next year is amazing because you deserve nothing less than the best. I love you bunches _______ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist​ @melissahausen​ @new-zealand-chic​ @writtingrose​ @99hook @madhatterbri  @sassymox​ @mrsacklesevansmgk​ @xladyxfatex​ @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29​ @itsicantbelievethis666​ @lilred91​ @rebellious-desires​ @surdelcielo @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie​ @shortyiceheart​ @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal​ @wrestlersownmyheart​ @vebner37​​ @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234​ @legit9thlunaticwarrior​ @blaquekitty​ @ironshamelessyouth​ @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin​ @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @terrortwinunicorn @alyyaanna  @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars @thatnerdwriter​ @sjwrites22 If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ______

Bayley had been acting strangely all day, and to say that Bri was a little disappointed was an understatement. Of course she knew her girlfriend was busy with work and all the traveling she did with WWE. Forgetting an anniversary was something a lot of people did but it was already mid morning and Bayley still hadn’t wished her a happy birthday yet. The small subtle hints that Bri tried to give were brushed off with vague replies or simple humming sounds. Bri had received countless texts and messages from friends wishing her a happy birthday, and yet the person who she wanted to hear it from the most was silent.

‘It’s going to be fine. I don't want to make her feel bad if she did forget but I also want her to know she forgot.’

She was torn on what to do, so she stayed quite hoping desperately that something would remind her girlfriend. By the time evening rolled around, Bri had resigned herself to the fact that Bayley must have genuinely forgotten. Bri tried her best to mask her disappointment, forcing a smile when Bayley mentioned something about dinner.

“Sure, whatever you feel like babe.”

She says sinking into the couch, while her girlfriend nodded and disappeared into the kitchen, mumbling something about calling in the order. A short while later Bayley returned and motioned for Bri to follow her. 

“Hey, could you come help me grab something from the patio?” 

Bri arched an eyebrow confused on what she could be getting from outside when she had been ordering dinner

“What is it?”

“It’s just… heavy.”

Bayley said, fidgeting with the ends of her shirt and winked at her girlfriend.

“C’mon, you’re always saying how much stronger you are than me. Well here is your chance to prove that.”

With a sigh, Bri got up and followed her through the house. The only sound was their footsteps as they walked. Bayley pushed the door open and stepped aside, motioning for Bri to walk out first. The patio was dark which was unusual since the lights should have turned on by now.

“Hold on baby let me get the lights.”

Bayley flicked a switch and a chorus of voices yelled out “Surprise!”

Bri’s eyes widened as she took in the scene before her, the patio had been transformed into a cozy celebration space. Streamers and balloons in her favorite colors hung from the roof twirling around posts. A small table was covered with snacks, cupcakes, and a couple of neatly wrapped gift boxes. At the center of the table was a cake that read, ‘Happy Birthday, Bri!’ in elegant frosting.

Bayley stood behind her with a proud grin, holding a party hat in her hands then stepped forward placing it on her girlfriend’s head.

“Did you really think I forgot?” 

She teased putting her own hat on and kissing Bri’s forehead gently as their friends began gathering around.

Bri turned to her, her voice soft a light blush covering her cheeks.

“I… I honestly did. You were so quiet about it.”

“That’s because I didn’t want you to suspect anything babe, you’re the most important person in my life. How could I ever forget your birthday?”

Bri felt a lump rise in her throat, her earlier disappointment melting away into pure joy. She laughed, shaking her head in amusement as she looked at the woman before her.

“You’re sneaky, you know that?”

“I prefer ‘thoughtful.”

Bayley quipped, pulling her into a warm hug pressing another tender kiss to her head. The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, shared memories, and stolen kisses. Bayley’s small surprise turned out to be perfect—intimate and heartfelt, just like their relationship. As Bri blew out the candles on her cake, she made a wish that every year with Bayley would be just as magical as this one.