#but it’s almost break so maybe I can work on things 😩

[tillykitty10]

Who’d have thought moving across the country and starting an intensive joint major STEM course would mean I have no more time and energy for being creative. Anyway know I have not abandoned my fics and this blog.

[catcze]

OKAY BUT how about matching jewellery with Wriothesley?? You could both wear a necklace or a choker to match his vibe or maybe earrings? (The fact he's wearing some is sending me 😩 His style is really good tbh, def would let him choose my clothes) And if they're embedded with each other's initials? Even better, let the world know you belong to him, the same way he belongs to you (was inspired by your other collar drabble don't mind me 🥺👌)

AAAAA that is SO cute wtf ?!?! And so true, his style is honestly immaculate !! I got inspiredddd and wrote this (even tho it's a little more 'secret relationship for now, but wearing little tokens of each other until we make it public' kind of thing tee hee)

warning for vv slight leaks (Wriothesley's birthdate) and a slightly ooc Wrio !!

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

"Your grace?"

"Yes, Sigewinne?" Wriothesley hums, not looking up from his morning paper. He holds a teacup in his other hand, the scent of freshly brewed English Breakfast filling the room.

Sigewinne is staring hard at him, head tilted as she examines the change in the Duke's wardrobe. "I can't seem to place my finger on it but your new necklace looks rather—"

Wriothesley promptly chokes on his drink, loud coughing breaking the quiet of his office as he thumps his chest, sputtering and frantically moving his paper out of the range of fire of his choking.

"—familiar."

Sigewinne hands him a handkerchief, which he takes with a wheezed word of thanks. She's squinting at him in suspicion, antennae twitching as she watches the duke squirm.

"I'm afraid I don't follow," Wriothesley coughs one last time into the handkerchief, clearing his throat in an attempt to get rid of the roughness in his voice. It doesn't work. "Perhaps you're mistaken, Sigewinne. Are you certain that you haven't just seen someone around the fortress using something similar? Or maybe you saw it in fashion on the surface."

Sigewinne is sure she hasn't. She just hums in thought, placing her hands on her hips as she continues to evaluate the necklace, while Wriothesley pointedly does not meet her gaze.

It's a simple thing, really. A silver circle on a thin silver chain, and from this distance Sigewinne can barely make out what looks like two letters and a date carved on it. It's this simplicity, actually, that makes it stand out amidst the Duke's otherwise chunky and bold accessories.

Sigewinne keeps staring, trying to remember just where oh where had she seen something like that before, and why does it nag her so much that she can't recall. Wriothesley doesn't offer up any information, however, having chosen to pour himself another cup of tea and resuming reading his paper.

Eventually, the nurse relents and turns to head down the staircase to leave his office with a word of farewell thrown over her shoulder, still bothered by the mystery that she just can't solve, but knowing what the Duke is like when he clams up.

"Oh! Hi, Sigewinne!" You greet, almost running into her as she descends, while you yourself are on your way up. You reach out a hand to steady her lest she roll down the rest of the way. "Leaving already? Everything alright?"

"Everything is fine," she says kindly, patting your arm in thanks as she looks up to your face. "Some patients to check on, but otherwise nothing particularly noteworthy. His Grace just refuses to answer any of my questions, however..."

But then her eyes catch on something shiny on your neck. Something shiny, and looking awfully like the object of her interest just a few short minutes ago. She glances at it, and as close as she is, she can make out what is carved on the pendant around your neck: A simple W and the date November 23 written underneath it.

She pauses mid-sentence, turning to glance over her shoulder.

Wriothesley is still reading his paper, but from here even she can see how he's trying to subtly glance over it in your direction. His fingers clench the sheets in anticipation and how his boot has started to tap on the floor despite his show of nonchalance. She looks at the pot of tea he had put out earlier, notices just how much tea there still seems to be in it, and the extra teacup that she had asked about earlier when she had first come in.

Just in case a guest stops by, he had told her, and nothing after that. Suddenly, she has a pretty good guess of what is written on his grace's necklace.

"Nevermind," she corrects, trying not to smile too widely. "But I certainly have to be going. Enjoy your... meeting with his grace. I'll see you later!"

You blink at her abrupt departure. "Oh? Okay. Uh... Bye, Sigewinne. See you soon!"

She nods, hurriedly excusing herself in an attempt to give you two some privacy, finally letting her happy little grin show once she was no longer in sight. She shuts the doors behind her and takes a moment, then practically skips her way back to the infirmary, her steps light and joyful.

I'm glad. They deserve to be happy together.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

What's your opinion on Yan! Pantalone (this man has been rotting my brain since the trailer came out😩), with a darling who just outright refuses his gifts (necklaces, dresses...) or maybe even breaks them?

Also could I be 🍂 anon? :D

Of course you can be 🍂 anon :D i love having new anons! welcome to my blog :3c

Warning: this post contains mentions of yandere-themes, including implied being held against will, mentions of being forced to wear things, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

It frustrates him to no end, to him money is everything and it was something he worked all his life to achieve. Seeing you break things that cost a fortune, one-of-a-kind items worth more than your own life, it takes every ounce of strength in his body to not strike you. It’s even worse to see you just refuse them, not even caring enough to destroy them, simply turning your head and crossing your arms. 

Pantalone will try alternative methods, instead of simply presenting you with the gifts, he just sneaks them in with the rest of your things. Sometimes he even asks the other Harbingers to gift them to you just to see how you’ll react. It’s subtle at first, a ring or pair of earrings tucked in with all your other jewelry, it’s a perfect fit amongst everything else, looking like it belonged there.

It only escalates from there, with more obvious things like shoes and clothing items making their way into your wardrobe, a new decorative piece for your bedroom, large ornate jewelry that you know for certain wasn’t there the day prior, and much more. It’s almost suffocating the way he slips things into place as if they had been there all along.

Pantalone stares at you with a blank face, all emotion voiding his gorgeous features the second you raised your arm, launching the new necklace he had bought you at the pristine floor below. He had been expecting this, hence why the first he had given you was a fake, once intended for you to take your anger out on. He’d already visited your bedroom before coming to greet you, tucking the real one in amongst all your other jewelry. He knew you were likely to smash that one as well, but at least this way he got the small satisfaction of knowing it made it to your bedroom and sat in with all your other decorative pieces.

Your best bet to avoid further punishment is to just let him place these items in with all your other belongings. Even if you never acknowledge them, just letting Pantalone put them in your room is enough to satiate him. If you should continue to refuse, you can expect things to escalate. 

Pantalone will take to more permanent measures, buying jewelry with locks or latches that you can’t undo without a key so that you cannot remove it. Try as you might to get out of it, but Pantalone will leave you walking around in broken jewelry for a week just to prove a point. That or he’ll buy exact duplicates to replace the first one with until you grow tired of breaking them.

[sooniebby]

IMMA SEND ANOTHER REQUEST BC I MISS OUR BOY CHOI💕 OUR FAVORITE PERV

Maybe we get like hit or something during gym class bc we are clumsy as fuck and we get sent to the nurses office and Choi was chosen to take us there and something happens? Can be horny as fuck or just sweet I’ll eat that shit like it’s my dinner either way<3 whatever you prefer Sonnie!

Thank you 😩🫶 for the Ushijima Drabble is was scrumptious 🤤

ఌ 𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐃

꧁ 𝙊𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

(Canon reading order)

Yubin works: 1, 2, 3, 4

Word count › 1.6k

Rating › NSFT

Warnings › Yubin is a proud dog hater

Kinks › feminization, fondling, mentions of free use

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＢＥＧＩＮＮＩＮＧ

“How’s your head?”

(Name) wasn’t sure how to answer. It didn’t hurt. He was used to getting hit in the head by a dodgeball so he’s been taking them like they’re nothing. No, it wasn’t the slight headache he had that was bothering him.

It was Yubin playing with his chest.

The dumb idiot was just standing there and fiddling with his chest. And it wasn’t even through his shirt.

No, Yubin had to touch (Name)’s skin.

Something about skinship or whatever bullshit he spouted when he pulled up (Name)’s shirt as soon as they got into the nurses office.

Good thing the nurse wasn’t here yet.

She must’ve been a lunch break.

Yubin didn’t even seem to be perverted though. In his weird way, he was comforting (Name) by massaging his chest. And (Name) would be thankful for that if he asked for it.

But it wasn’t like he stopped him.

“My head is fine. The nurse could be coming back any second…” (Name) reached over to grab Yubin’s arm but Yubin swiftly moved it away.

“She shouldn’t be. I saw her talking to Mister Park. She’ll be gone for a minute.”

“Why?”

“Cause she wants to fuck him,” Yubin said nonchalantly, paying way more attention to fondling (Name) than what he was actually saying.

“Your boobs have gotten bigger…”

“It’s my pectorals.”

Yubin looked at (Name) with a blank stare before turning his attention back to (Name)’s chest. “It’s like your boobs don’t fit in my hands…”

(Name) rolled his eyes. No purpose in trying to correct him.

“But really,” Yubin suddenly said, looking at (Name) with a look of worry. “You aren’t hurting, right? Because I can go get the Nurse to come now and treat you.”

(Name) blushed. Despite Yubin still fondling his chest, he really did look slightly worried about his condition. Which was for good reason. Any other person would’ve been knocked out at that the throw that hit him.

Honestly, (Name) should be knocked out. He’s just a bit… well there’s nothing too important in his head to get hurt.

Mentally at least.

“I’m fine…. You, uh, being here with me is nice.” (Name) whispered. Most people wouldn’t want to come with him to the nurse. It was a daily occurrence for him to go to the nurses office that it got annoying for the other students.

A few even believed that he was doing it on purpose for attention.

Yubin squeezed (Name)’s chest tightly, earning a squeak from the boy, as he grinned. “Really?! I’ll come anytime you have to go to the nurse, alright?”

“Hm, thanks… but uh…” (Name) glanced down at Yubin’s hands that were squishing his chest. “Are you going to let go?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Yubin…”

(Name) tried to put on his best puppy dog face but that only got a tug at his nipple. He cursed at how his body trembled at the pull. It was pure luck that he didn’t just moan right then and there.

“Do you really want me to let go?” Yubin asked, staring straight at (Name). He watched his every move—waiting for any sign for discomfort. (Name) simply blushed and looked away in embarrassment.

Yubin laughed. “You’re so cute… I’m so lucky you’re mine.” He pulled his hands away from (Name)’s chest. (Name) wouldn’t lie that he almost whimpered at the lost. Sure, in the moment he wanted it to stop but when he actually did…

“Oh, (Name) Hyung, I have a gift for you.” He reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled something out. (Name) tilted his head in confusion as Yubin placed the item in his hands.

(Name) stared at the new item in his hands in pure shock.

No fucking way.

Yubin smirked. “It’s a collar. What do you think?”

(Name) looked up. “What the hell, Yubin?! Where did you get this?!”

“Amazon.”

“Oh…”

“Don’t worry. You’ll only have to wear at my place or around me. Not at school. I just wanted to make sure it fits you.” Yubin said, grabbing the collar.

The choker was a simple black one. But the most outlandish thing on it was the bell on it. It looked like a cat collar. Yubin looked all too eager to put the collar on (Name).

“Have I ever told you cats are my favorite animals? Much better than those stinky dogs.”

“I don’t mind dogs… They’re pretty cute. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who hated them…” (Name) muttered.

“A dog murdered my cat. I think I can hate dogs.” Yubin said, a forced smile on lips. It seemed he still had some issues with that.

Which isn’t too surprising.

“Oh well. My mom killed the dog after it killed Mister Tofu so everything is well. I have Yuna now! She’s going to be one in two weeks!!” He giggled.

(Name) simply hummed. Yubin could certainly be off sometimes.

“Look at me,” Yubin said, grasping (Name)’s chin to turn his head towards him. He smiled at his boyfriend before moving to place the collar around (Name)’s neck.

“How does it feel, baby?”

(Name) hummed, moving his head around as he tried to breathe with the collar. He couldn’t breathe too well. It was visibly painful.

Yubin seemed to notice this as he quickly took it off. He frowned to himself. “I’m so sorry. I must’ve ordered it too small…” he looked so angry at himself as he reached over to gently rub (Name)’s neck.

“It’s fine.. you can just order a bigger size.”

“Really?”

(Name) rolled his eyes. “You were going to do it anyway without my permission.”

“I was. But it’s nice to hear you encourage it.” Yubin threw the collar into the trash. “You should get a reward.”

“Like what?”

Yubin hummed thoughtfully before placing his hand back on (Name)’s chest. He slowly trailed his hand downward. His fingers traced small circles around (Name)’s stomach, earning shuddered breaths, as he stopped at (Name)’s gym shorts.

(Name) looked up at Yubin. Yubin raised an eyebrow, tilting his head.

“We have three minutes before gym class ends…” Yubin tugged at (Name)’s gym shorts. “Think you can cum in three minutes…—”

“—Noona…?”

ꕥ

“Look at you… I can’t get enough of your dick.. it’s so small compared to the rest of you,” Yubin laughs cruelly as he jerked (Name) off.

(Name) mewled in embarrassment as he covered his face. He was laying down on the nurse bed as Yubin jerked him off. Those three minutes didn’t seem to be needed as (Name) felt like he could cum right now.

Yubin was fast, keeping a quick pace with his hand job. He was mainly silent—just watching (Name) the entire time. But it only made (Name) more embarrassed.

To have Yubin just stare at him as he lost control of his body. But it also brought out something in him. It was hot to have Yubin in total control as (Name) let go.

What was this feeling called?

He didn’t know. He couldn’t even think straight.

“Once I get the right size for your collar… I should get you a nice little maid costume.” Yubin whispered into his ear. “I’ll have you clean my room, wearing the skimpiest maid outfit I can find.”

(Name) shook his head. “No…”

“No? Why not? Hate the thought of cleaning? Don’t worry baby…” Yubin pressed a kiss on (Name)’s sweating forehead. “I’ll reward you with my thick cock after your hard work.”

“Matter of fact, I’ll fuck you while you clean. Use you like the true little helper you are… oh, why should you even have clothes? Think about it—it’ll just get dirty.”

“Wha… ngh! Do you… mean?” (Name) gasped out.

“I’ll have you wear the collar with no clothes. The bell jingling with your every move. It’ll be easy access for me to reach your pussy… don’t you think?”

“No…”

“Don’t lie to me, (Name). I know you would want that, my little house wife.”

(Name) blushed at the title and looked away. If only he hadn’t give into it last time. There was no way for him to lie his way out of it. He enjoyed it. He enjoyed the weird play that Yubin was into it.

He wanted it.

He liked being called feminine terms. But he was scared. He didn’t want to be a woman.

Yubin seemed to sense this dilemma as he slowed down his hand job. “What’s wrong, baby? Too much?”

“No… it’s nothing…”

“You can talk to me, I won’t be angry if you didn’t like what I said.”

(Name) looked over at Yubin, face flushed with sweat. “Later.. we can talk later.. lemme cum, please.”

Yubin hummed. “Alright, Hyung.” He leaned down and pulled (Name) into a kiss as he jerked him off into his orgasm. (Name) gripped the bed sheets beneath him as he arched his back in pleasure.

His cock squirted out cum onto his stomach as Yubin continued to jerk him off through his orgasm. He didn’t stop until (Name) whined about being overstimulated.

Yubin moved down to lick the cum off (Name)’s stomach, staring up at him the entire time. (Name) felt his cock twitch at the sight.

Fuck.

He was hard again.

“Yubin… no fair..”

“Too much?” Yubin laughed. “C’mon, gym should be over.”

Just as (Name) pulled up his pants—the door to the infirmary opened. In shock, Yubin dropped to the ground to hide. Good thing the bed was covering him.

The nurse, Nurse Han, looked at (Name) in confusion. She glanced at her phone before shaking her head.

“Again? Really, you need to stop playing sports at this point. I’ll go get an ice pack.” She said, walking away.

Once she was gone, Yubin stood up.

“Why did you hide?”

“I panicked.”

(Name) wasn’t sure how the more dominant Yubin was the same as the boy in front of him right now.

Did he have an alter ego in him or something?

“Anyway, you’re coming to my house tonight, alright?”

(Name) frowned. Shit, he forgot all about the little talk he said he’d do later.

He was so screwed.

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＥＮＤ

Hyung: title for older male friends or brothers from younger boys

Noona: title for older female friends or sisters from younger boys

This request was combined with @jaythes1mp ‘s.. they requested Yubin making reader wear a collar!

This was fun. It was cool to dig deeper into Yubin besides him being a perv. I wanted him to have more character!!! (also sorry dog lovers—he’s a proud hater 😞)

Tag List: @nakedtoasterr @the-ultimate-librarian @mello-life69 @kiiyoooo @chill-guy-but-cooler

(Ask to be added to the tag list/you’ll be tagged in every fic I post)

[joelstummy]

Katy, holy shit, I need to say that I'm obsessed with Good Neighbors.

I've read it yesterday and I woke thinking about them and I'm still on them.

So many feelings with this story, but I got to adress this first: FUCK JACK (who I picture as the oldie in Lana's Shades of Cool clip, I have to say). I hate everything about him, nicknames like 'gummy bear' ... he's such a piece of shit in every single way, ugh, show him how's done Joel, humiliate him worse (or beat him a lot).

Secondly, I envy Denise as well - for being almost a decade with Joel - she unlocked the daddy kink ??? (not really asking, but can't stop wondering, wondering about their whole relationship, tbh)

I'm curious of how things will end, but I also don't want to because this it's too good to end with one more chapter 😩

I'll always be astonished with how your words bewitch me, you're truly gifted, Katy 💖

Thank you so much for this perfect story 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Ahhh thank you so much bb!!!!

First off, you are not at all far off base with the Shades of Cool bit. That is v similar to how I picture him tbh. Maybe not as lanky, I see him as a broader guy, but reasonably fit. He’s just a Large guy which makes him all the more terrifying in juxtaposition to (how I picture) reader.

And second…I can drop some lore if you want. I don’t plan on actually working it into the fic. It’s just a bit of fun.

It’s not Denise who introduces him to daddy kink lmao. After he breaks things off with reader, he is looking to fill the unique void she left. And he ultimately breaks down and turns to porn. And after giving himself several mental lashings, bites the bullet and searches old/young porn just to scratch the itch a LITTLE bit. And from there….well, you can imagine the few things that filtered in. And god, did a young woman calling an older man “daddy” while he fucks her into a mattress cause quite the stir in his nethers. It’s the very first thing he comes across post-reader where he thinks “god I bet she would love that, I wish I could try it on her”. And then it just…stuck.

Denise isn’t even super into the whole daddy kink thing. She does it occasionally when Joel requests it, but she doesn’t get much enjoyment out of it, so it’s a rare occurrence.

But you can imagine exactly what is going through HIS head when he’s shaking hands with reader over that fence that first day.

“I need to bend this little slut over my knee and spank her until she forgets my name is ‘Joel’. I need to spread her pussy open from behind, shove my thumb up her ass, and fuck her cunt until ‘daddy’ is her entire vocabulary.”

So the first opportunity he gets…he’s dropping that little nugget on her. And feeling his cock throb at the way her eyes roll back. Because he knew. He knew she would’ve liked it 10 years ago, and he knew she’d love it now.

[ghostfanwriter]

💖🧰 Dirty hands pt 3 🧰💖

Part one Part two

💖 Pairing: Dbf!Joel Miller x Virgin!Fem!Reader

🧰 Synopsis: Joel keeps finding reasons to stay in Lincoln. And you worry about the day he leaves, but he makes sure to show you how special this whole thing also is for him.

💖 Features: 🔞, fluffy and domestic Joel, Joel fixing things for her, masturbation (m and f), soft — so soft — (kinda dom) Joel, praise, pet names, quick cumplay (for poor Joel's desperation), sprinkles of angst here and there (I hurt my own feelings sometimes).

🧰 Word count: 9.5k. I'm so no sorry about this.

💖 About this: It took me forever to find this story, but I'm so, so glad it came out how it did. This series is gonna be a bit longer than I planned, but I have some real cool ideias for the next parts. Hope you're in with me ❤️

🧰 Author's note: Life really got in the way of this series, besties, but I came out alive. I'm really happy so many of you are as engaged with this story as I am, I love them so much. I just want a domestic, fluffy, soft Joel for myself 😩🤧

Good reading, besties 🩷🫶🏻

'You're always up with the sun.'

Bill's sentence made Joel sleep with his curtains open that night. Even with all the reasons why his mind told him he shouldn't pursue you, even with the potential death trap he was jumping into.

He couldn't not think about you. He couldn't not want to be with you.

He couldn't treat you like he felt he needed to. Couldn't dismiss you or break your heart. He had to make this experience as good as he could for you. It was only fair.

He would feel horrible if you never wanted to meet anyone else ever again because an old man made you cry.

So even with all the reasons he had to just forget about your and leave Lincoln the next day, he chose to keep his curtains open instead. To let the sun wake him up, so he could see you first thing in the morning.

He remembered the day he arrived, when Bill was showing him his bedroom and he saw you hugging Frank on your bed. Your grumpy and sleepy face, your messy hair, your clothes.

It made him smile again, and this time he allowed himself to. He let the feeling that was blooming inside his chest to make its point, to show him that there was an option outside of the QZ. That maybe he could stay.

Could stay with you.

Sure, making Bill lower his guard shouldn't be easy. But he could work on that; show him that he didn't want anything wrong or inappropriate with you.

That he wanted to take care of you like you deserve. Care for you like you're his.

Have you as his.

As the sunlight filled his room, he woke up and washed his face, staring at his own reflection in the mirror, last night memories floating around his mind.

He could almost feel you again, your warmth against his chest, as your body contorted and you made such pretty sounds for him. Then your soft hands stroking him, curiously roaming over his stomach and chest, how good it felt to be so close to someone again.

Not that him and Tess had ever stoped to have sex. They still did it, but not as a way to share anything, not to feel anything. Rather as a way to dismiss the bad feelings they had. They just dumped all the negativity of their lives into one another.

With you he didn't want to release anything. He wanted to gather everything he could from you, to make you feel as good as he could, without thinking about what he'd get from it.

He wanted to know you were happy, satisfied, taken care of.

He shook the thoughts as he felt them placing roots all over his heart, knowing that when the day arrived and he had to leave Lincoln, you'd be the main pebble on his shoe.

Halfway down the stairs he could already smell breakfast being prepared. He had peeked in your room, and, having not found you, he knew you'd probably be the one in the kitchen.

And he was right. As he gets close to the door, he can hear you humming one of the songs you played on the piano the previous night.

The image of himself playing a guitar while you played the piano flashed in his mind again, making his eyes soften as he looks at you.

You're wearing yet another summer dress. One even prettier than the one from the day he arrived.

He swears you look prettier everyday.

You turn around, jumping when you see him watching you from the door frame.

"Oh — God." You gasp with a laugh, almost dropping the pan in your hand.

"Morning." He says, laughing.

"Morning... Joel." You say, your voice small. Suddenly, you can feel your cheeks warm up, and it feels like all the blood in your veins came to them.

You stare at him, remembering the night before. How he touched you — or how he made you touch yourself. How you touched him, how almost ethereal the whole experience felt.

Part of you was afraid to bring it up and learn it was all a dream.

All of you was embarrassed, awkwardly standing with a pan in your hand, staring at him, not knowing how to interact with him after the night before.

You take a sharp breath in when he rushes towards you, getting confused when he walks past you, turning around to find him quickly removing a pan out of the stove.

You put the pan in your hand down at the table and run to the one in his hand, your scrambled eggs burnt at the bottom.

"At least there's more texture to them now." He says with a laugh, and you look up at him, an embarrassed smile on your face. "Are you alright?" He asks.

"Yeah, I am. Just... Gonna have to switch pans now, and what's gonna be left of them isn't going to be enough for all of us, and this is gonna be horrible to wash, and—" Your rambling is cut by his soft and low whisper.

"Baby." He calls, and you look up, finding his eyes as soft as ever. "Not talking about the eggs." He says while staring into your eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm... Good. Different, in a way. I mean, I don't know how to talk to you, or not make this super awkward." You mutter.

"It's not awkward. Are you... Okay with what happened, or—"

"No, no. I'm fine! It's not like that, no. I... I loved it. I just... I just don't know how to... I don't know it just feels weird." You stutter, feeling like you're embarrassing yourself.

"A good weird, then?" He laughs.

"Yes, a good weird." You agree. "What about you?"

"Long time since I've felt this good, baby. Was just worried about you."

"No, I'm good. No need to worry." You say shyly. "Well, expect my breakfast is ruined." You laugh, and he stares you for a second.

"Ever heard of Chef Boyardee?"

"No." You respond laughing.

"Well, he's gonna save your breakfast. Let me just grab it real quick." He says, putting the pan down and rushing upstairs.

...

He comes back after a minute, two cans in his hands.

"I was afraid Boyardee was your alter ego." You say, reading the name on the can.

"I'd never dare to compare." He says, bringing his hand to his chest in a fake humble gesture.

He opens the cans, and you two start cooking together. He insists to wash the burnt pan, as long as you watch chef Boyardee up close as it heats up in the stove while you make some orange juice.

Bill stops on his tracks when he sees you two in the kitchen. Cooking, making juice, brewing coffee, talking and laughing.

He smiles seeing how happy you are, seeing maybe he didn't made the wrong decision when he let Joel in his house.

"Our baby's growing up. Weird to think about that, right? It was never a thought before." Frank whispers from behind him, hugging him and snuggling his chin on Bill's shoulder.

"She is my baby. And it ain't Joel that's gonna change that." He replies, caressing Frank's forearm.

"She's not ours, Bill. Maybe the day's coming when we need to let her go, make her life." He says.

"Well, she can make her life inside these fences. Definitely not with Jo—" His rant cut by your short lived scream.

"It's not burning!" You defend yourself.

"Not the ravioli!" Joel fake cries, laughing as you desperately stir the ravioli in the pan, smoke coming out of the sauce, almost catching on your face.

Bill walks into the kitchen, his always heavy steps even heavier to announce his presence.

"What happened?" He asks, his eyes wide when he sees you close to the smoke.

"Oh, daddy... Joel's a disaster in the kitchen." You laugh.

"I was just washing the pan, you were supposed to watch the stove!" Joel defends himself, laughing, lifting the pan to show it to you. "If you didn't burn this one we wouldn't be going through all this right now."

You've never seen Joel laughing like this, and happiness looked good on him. You liked how his nose scrunched when he laughed and how tiny his eyes got.

He honestly couldn't remember the last time he allowed himself to goof around, make jokes and just have fun.

"It's your fault! I never want you in the kitchen with me again." You say.

"Oh, you're finishing this?" He mentions the pan in his hand.

"No no no, that was your fault. You clean it." You say, turning back to your dad. "Sorry, daddy. Good morning, are you okay?" You ask, going to Bill and wrapping him in a tight hug that he's eager to correspond.

"Morning, my love." He whispers on top of your head as he squeezes you, his hand holding the back of your head protectively. His suspicious stare watching Joel.

"We're having canned ravioli for breakfast?" Frank asks laughing, slightly grossed out.

"Chef Boyardee." Joel playfully corrects him.

"We were gonna have scrambled eggs, but Joel burned them." You say and Joel laughs in defeat, shooting you a playful look. "So yeah, canned ravioli. Promise I'll cook us something nicer for lunch." You say, hugging Frank and kissing his cheek. "Morning, dad."

...

Your dads sit across from one another. You're across from Joel, your right foot is between his feet and he's running his boots lazily up and down your ankles. You can't stop smiling because of it.

"So, Joel. I was thinking we could start with the east side and work towards the gates?" Bill asks, breaking the comfortable silence — only broken before to compliment Chef Boyardee — that was set while you all ate.

"Sure. Just have some other thing l have to work on before the fence, if that's okay? We're still gonna have plenty of sunlight when I'm done. Should be quick." He says while still chewing, stuffing back his mouth right after he's finished.

"What other thing?" Bill asks, not remembering asking Joel to fix anything else that day.

"She told me about these broken doors on her bathroom cabinet. Said they're loud and don't close properly." He says, looking at you, his feet moving higher on your calves, soothing you.

"Baby, didn't I tell you I'd fix your cabinet?" Bill asks, angry to imagine Joel inside your bathroom, even angrier to imagine you going after someone else for help.

"You did. But you never fixed it. So I asked Joel and he said it should be quick." You shrug, playing along with Joel, his legs caressing yours in a reassuring way.

You didn't even know Joel was gonna fix something in your bathroom, you never told him anything about your cabinets.

Bill grunts, and Frank tries to soothe him with a sympathetic look.

You were the most important thing he had, and he didn't like the idea of you not needing him anymore.

"So, love, your dad and I were wondering, what do you think of a bonfire?" Frank asks, trying to dismiss the topic, and you smile.

"A bonfire?" You ask excited, your gaze going from Frank to Bill, and you catch a glimpse of Joel's smile on your way.

"Well, I have some spare wood, and we're gathering a bunch of things we don't need with all the fixings we're doing." Bill explains, looking at Joel, who nods. "Your dad just wanted to call it a bonfire." Bill finishes, looking at Frank, a fake annoyance in his face while he smiles at his husband.

"And you loved my idea, didn't you, honey?" Frank asks, trying to win his case.

"Oh, it sounds so fun." You giggle, and you can feel Joel squeezing your calves softly.

"A bonfire!" Frank says triumphantly. Eating another spoonful of ravioli. "This is actually really good, Joel!"

"Told you." Joel said laughing.

As soon as you're done eating Frank offers to wash the dishes and you and Joel go upstairs, Bill watching you both with concerned eyes.

...

"When did you see the doors were broken?" You ask when he walks in your room with a chest of tools, following him into your bathroom.

"When, baby?" He asks with a laugh, raising one eyebrow. Like you didn't know he was in your bathroom the night before. Like you don't remember having him in your arms, hoping that one day he'd be yours.

"No, I know when. I just mean exactly when. I never told you about it." You say, sitting on top of your toilet to watch him work.

"When I was looking for a product to clean the sink. This door made a terrible sound." He explains.

You watch as he kneels on the floor and starts unscrewing the door, cleaning and oiling its parts before screwing them back together.

"So, how's life in the QZ?" You ask when he starts working.

"Not much about it, nothing you're missing out on, for sure."

"Then why are you still living there?" You ask and he looks up at you, the crease between his eyebrows and the way his eyes wander around showing you he doesn't have a clear answer for that question.

"Not that simple, baby." He scrunches his nose. "Told your dad, we've got things there that you don't have here. Things we — grunts — need."

You smile seeing his face contort as he has to use more force to unscrew a particularly rusty part. You notice his arms flexing under his denim shirt, how strong his hands look, making his tools seem small in them. How he grunts when he makes a final effort to remove the screw.

Your heartbeat speeds up before you can stop it, and you only notice that he's staring at you when you hear him chuckle.

"And do they just give you those things? My dads say they used to have to work to gain money, and they'd trade money for things they wanted." You ask, trying to dismiss the blood burning your cheeks.

"Wasn't Frank in a QZ for a long time?" He asks.

"He was. But he doesn't like talking about it. Says I don't need to know about it." You respond. Even though Frank was way more laid back than Bill, he also had his ways to guard you from things he thought he needed to. "But I want to know about it." You add, seeing Joel's reluctancy in keep telling you about it.

"We also work there, not for money, but it's still a trade system. We can get food, medicine, parts, clothes. Whatever we need."

"Do you have nice clothes there?" You ask with more excitement than you wished to. You know it's futile, but you sometimes wish you had different clothes to wear. He chuckles before answering.

"I mean..." He mentions himself, and you turn your head.

"I think you look good." You say honestly and he smiles.

"Your clothes are much prettier than the ones there, baby. You're not missing out."

"You like my clothes?" You ask, your voice small.

"Love them. Never saw no one dress like you since this whole thing started." He whispers, sitting back on his heels and watching you with adoring eyes.

You look out the bathroom door, your bedroom door closed. No noise outside.

You bend down, kissing him softly on the lips. His left hand caresses the nape of your neck as he deepens the kiss.

"Wanna help me choose my dress for the bonfire?" You suggest when you break the kiss.

"My honor." He whispers over your lips, giving them a peck and letting you go.

...

You come back inside the bathroom with two dresses, both on their hangers.

"Okay, so we'll go by elimination. What do you think of these?" You ask, holding each dress in a hand. He's kneeled on the floor, fixing the cabinet, but he turns his torso, carefully analyzing the dresses over his shoulder.

"Blue one." He says.

"Yeah. This one's a bit too summery, too sunny." You agree, and he raises his eyebrows, nodding and humming before turning back to the cabinet.

"And what kind of jobs you do there?" You ask Joel while going back to your closet, picking the next option.

"All kinds you don't wanna know about, trust me. There's nothing about that place that's worth knowing, nothing good except those walls." He says.

You come back with the winner dress and another option, sitting on your bathtub's edge.

"Well, not when you're in it. Then there's at least one good thing." You say low with a smile, poking him with your foot, and you can see the shy smile that flashes in his face as he quickly squeezes your calves.

"Tess and I we... Leave the QZ from time to time, which you're not supposed to do, to look for things we can trade for other things. Not always for nice things, but we can always trade them again for something better."

"You're smugglers." Frank says out thin air, startling you. "Which isn't bad, I mean, the best stuff I had at the QZ came from smugglers." He adds seeing Joel's worried expression. "Tess told me about it. Told me about the kind of things you two give to guards. Not anything we need here, but maybe you'd know where to find some things for us?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure. Depending on what it is, it shouldn't be hard to find." Joel says.

"Oh! We were talking about having more fruits, right, dad? Strawberries, watermelons. Think you could find some, Joel?"

"Would have to look around, but it's not impossible." He says, making a mental note of finding you those as soon as he has the chance.

The thought of leaving Lincoln to look for things you want plays in the back of his mind, the scenario making him smile softly while looking at you.

"Speaking of Tess..." Frank interrupts his daydreams. "...she's on the radio. Wants to talk to you, seems important. She asked you to bring a pen and paper with you." He finally says what he came in to say.

Joel looks at you, a deep crease between his eyebrows, despite his overall relaxed expression. If you're really starting to know him, the crease means he's worried.

He gets up with a muted grunt.

"Oh, Joel! Which one?" You ask before he leaves.

He looks back and forth between the dresses, pressing his lips, trying to picture you in both of them. He likes how tight on top the blue one looks like, how flowy it looks on the legs.

"Blue again." He answers with a smile. "Be right back." He says directly to you before turning around, walking out the bathroom and thanking your dad for calling him.

Frank sits by your side, carefully walking around Joel's tools.

"What do you think of the blue one?" You ask him, caressing the dress.

"Hm, thought you wouldn't want my opinion." He says almost bitterly, despite his playful smile.

"Why? You always help me choose my dresses." You say, furrowing your eyebrows, his expression softening.

Deep down he felt the same as Bill.

You always needed them, always looked for them for guidance, advice, help, comfort, love. It hurt to think of you not needing them anymore, of losing you.

"Nothing." He says quietly.

"Are you upset because I asked for Joel's opinion?" You ask, and he realizes just how silly the feeling is. You're just picking a dress.

"Well I... Argh, I am, love. Can't lie to you." He hugs your side, squeezing your head on his chest playfully. "You don't need my help anymore, you're not my baby anymore." He says dramatically, making you laugh.

"Oh, no! I don't love you anymore, dude. Let go of me!" You playfully say, acting like you're trying to get away from him but ultimately snuggling even closer to his chest.

"I love you. I'll always asks for your opinions on my dresses." You laugh.

"Well, to be fair. The blue one is the prettiest between those two." He admits. "How are things between the two of you?"

"Great. He's so nice." You say with a silly smile.

"Can tell you look happier. And so does he. Never seen him laugh like I saw this morning." He says.

You remember his face when he arrived. Serious and suspicious of everything about the town. How you only saw him smile three times that day; when you two met, when you said you were going to bed and when he saw you with Frank.

But as soon as you think about that day your chest tightens.

Tess.

She came with him. For some reason didn't stay. Was she looking for something while he was there, or did she return to the QZ? Was she coming over? She said she and Joel were just friends, but what if they weren't?

You whimper softly, your stomach hurting out of a sudden.

"You okay, love?" Frank asks, pulling away to look at your face.

"Yeah, just... Do you know what Tess wants with Joel?"

"She didn't say, love. Maybe she just wants to know why he didn't go back to the QZ yet."

"Wasn't he going to stay here for a while? To help you and dad?" You ask, confused.

"Well, yes. But she didn't know that. He was supposed to leave yesterday." He said, caressing your arm with his thumb. "But he kept finding reasons to stick around. New things that need fixing, the car's weird noise, now the whole fence. I wonder what — or who — made him want to stay." He squeezes your arm and you smile shyly.

"But why does she care?" You ask, an unexpected annoyance in your voice.

"Darling... Joel and Tess they... They used to be a couple." He says, careful, like he could see his words stabbing you. "She cares about him. She's worried, she doesn't know us, maybe something could've happened to him."

"Do you think he cares about her too?" You know it's a stupid question. Of course he does. It's Joel.

But it hurts to imagine him doing to her the same he did to you. Sharing the same.

Frank gives you a sympathetic look, his eyes softening and his lips falling open, like he's thinking of what to tell you.

"Do you think I'm silly, dad? Do you think he's just gonna leave and never come back?" You ask, thinking about what him and Tess must be talking about.

"I don't know, love. I heard him and dad talk about some of the houses in here." He sighs.

Should he even be telling you that?

'Is he thinking about staying?' You ask yourself, your puppy eyes making Frank kiss your forehead lovingly.

"Only he can tell you that, my dove."

Sometimes you think your dad can read your mind.

You think about what Joel told you.

'We've got things there that you don't have here.'

Could he ever not live in the QZ? Would he ever want that?

"But can I give you an advice?" He asks softly and you nod. You're taking any help you can. "Slow down a bit. Don't think too ahead, don't nourish any hopes or fears about what's gonna happen." He says, looking deeply into your eyes. "Joel has his life outside, you can't forget that. I really, really, my love, hope you don't come out hurt of all of this. And the only way for it not to happen is you being careful. Don't engage in feelings he hasn't displayed to you."

"Don't create expectations then?" You ask, trying to make sense of his words.

"Yes, sweetheart. Feel your feelings, but don't ever run over them. Don't expect what you want to happen to turn out exactly how you wish." He adds. "Like about him staying. Don't expect it but also don't suffer thinking it's impossible before he tells you exactly what he's thinking. Don't put yourself through unnecessary pain."

Before you can say anything else Joel walks back in, a mix of annoyance and worry contorting his face, that softens instantly as his eyes find you.

"Blue one?" He asks with a silly smile and you nod, an even sillier one in your face.

"Blue one."

...

It's hard to follow your dad's advice.

Because it hurts too much to think of not seeing him anymore.

And that's exactly what you do for the rest of the day.

You watch him fix the fences with your dads while you hurt your own feelings, thinking about him leaving, about him with Tess, about him doing to her what he did to you. What you only did with him.

It hurts to think maybe he doesn't care about you the same way you care about him. Because you can't stop thinking about him. You're more attached than you ever thought you'd be to anyone besides your parents.

It hurts to think about him leaving you...

...forgetting about you.

He noticed how quiet you were during dinner — it was quite hard not to. And he found strange just how much he missed you, even though you were right in front of him.

How you didn't make any silly jokes or laughed at the ones your dads made. How you didn't give him your leg when he reached for it under the table, like he did during breakfast. How you wouldn't catch his gaze when he looked at you.

He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger in exactly what happened.

After dinner you kissed your dads goodnight and went straight to bed, no piano, no songs, no anything, despite their protests.

Maybe something happened while he was fixing the fences with Bill. He hadn't seen you since he left your bathroom.

"Is something wrong with her?" He asks your dads as soon as you go upstairs. They both shrug, and Bill can't help but wonder... Why does he even care?

You brush your teeth and lie on your bed, throwing a pitty party for yourself, feeling silly for engaging in such unrealistic expectations.

Joel had his life in the QZ...

...with Tess.

He wouldn't just give everything up for you, to stay in Lincoln.

It's hard to follow what Frank told you, to not feel bad, to ignore the discomfort in your stomach everytime you thought about Joel.

You quiet your thoughts when he opens your bedroom door — that you never seem to lock anymore —, finding you laying on your bed, almost curled in a ball, your back facing the door. Trying to keep your eyes dry.

He walks in carefully to not startle you, going around the bed to see if you're awake.

Your eyes start watering as soon as you see him.

"Hey, baby." He says softly, squatting next to you, keeping his distance. "What happened?" He didn't need you to say you weren't okay, he already knew that. He just needed to know what got you like that.

You don't say anything, aware that any words you said would make you cry.

"Can I sit with you?" He whispers, still not touching you.

You nod, moving your hips back to give him room to sit. You knew that no matter how much you tried to stay away, you'd feel him pulling you close, like there's a magnetic field between you two.

He sits down in front of your stomach and you pull your thighs closer to his back, keeping him close to you.

He moves his hand slowly, giving you time to push him away, gently touching your hair, pulling it behind your ear.

"Do you wanna talk?" He asks, his voice softer than ever.

"Do you?"

"I want to do whatever you want, baby." He whispers, caressing your hair, almost making you sleepy.

"I want you to stay with me."

"I can stay until you fall asleep. But I can't sleep here with you." He responds.

Not the stay you were thinking about. But it works for now, and you're glad he didn't pick up on it.

"Can you lie with me?" You ask shyly.

You weren't mad at him. You were just afraid to get too attached — even more than you already were, and to suffer too much when he left.

But you can't deny yourself what you're craving.

"Anything you want, baby." He leans down to press a kiss on your temple, bringing his hand to your hips, squeezing you gently and turning you around, your back facing him.

"Is this okay?" He asks, laying down sideways behind you, staying away and not touching you.

"Uhum."

He supports himself on his elbow and strokes your hair gently.

"Are you cold?" He asks, touching your cold arm, and you nod. He sits up and grabs your blanket by the end of your bed, covering you with it and supporting himself back on his elbow.

He's far from you, and you scoot back closer to him, pulling the blanket that's pooling between you two over him.

"Wearing my shoes, baby." He says, afraid of getting your blanket dirty. He kicks his boots away and and moves his body closer to yours.

Dropping his head on the pillow behind you, he slides his left arm underneath your head, letting you use it as a pillow. He hugs you and curl his legs, curling yours along. Fully spooning you.

In a way it reminded you of when you were a child and your dads would let you sleep in between them during a thunderstorm. How the same feeling of calm and safety takes over you.

You do your best to snuggle into him and find comfort in the new position, eventually relaxing into his arms as his right hand comes underneath your face, cupping your left cheek, pillowing it. You snuggle your face on his hand, kissing his palm gently.

You indulge in the intimacy you two are sharing. In how warm you got because of him, how his calloused hand feels under your cheek, how your bodies seem to fit in perfectly within one another.

How you can subtly feel his heartbeat against your back, how you try to match your breathing with his, enjoying the way his chest raises and falls behind you. How his smell invades your nose, how his hot breath sends chills down your spine, how his strong arms hold you so tight.

You stay tangled for a while before you gather the courage to talk to him.

"Joel?" You ask gently and he hums in response. "Can I ask you something... about Tess?" You almost whisper, afraid of ruining everything.

"Sure, baby. What about her?" He responds, his thumb caressing the skin under your eye.

"Are you two dating?" You ask but regret instantly as you feel him chuckle behind you.

He gives your face a light squeeze before turning it for you to look at him. You feel vulnerable with him being so overpowering, moving you so effortlessly, his body engulfing yours so nicely...

"Is it because she called me earlier?" He asks, a smile on his face as he brings you back to reality. You only nod, not sustaining his gaze anymore. "Do you think I'd be here with you if we were together? Think I'd do this to her? To you? Lie to you like that?"

"I don't know." You whisper, hating how weak your voice sounds, barely making its way out of your mouth.

"Baby, Tess and I we... We were a couple, haven't been for a long while now." He explains, sincerity spread all over his face.

"Did you do to her what we did last night?" You ask, your stomach turning to imagine him doing that to someone else.

Realistically, you knew he had. But it still hurt to think about it.

"No, baby. Not what we did yesterday. That I never did to nobody." He answers and you look away from his soft eyes. "I'm not lying." He squeezes your cheek gently, making you look back at him. "Yesterday it was all about you, making you feel good. And sex with Tess was about releasing frustrations, sadness, anger. Distracting myself." He explains. "I'd never dump those negative feelings on you. I wanna make you feel good, wanna see and hear you feel good. I loved doing it, but it wasn't about me. It was all about you." He says softly, his eyes wandering from your eyes to your lips.

It feels like you're melting in his arms. His words disarming you entirely, making you want to feel him again. To share that again.

"Can you kiss me?" You ask, hope coating your request.

"Anything you want, angel." He whispers as he lowers himself, gently connecting his lips to yours.

The tingling of his beard on your face makes you lean in further onto him, pulling him lower on top of you as you lie back down.

You open your mouth, kissing his lower lip, making him deepen the kiss, rolling his tongue around yours, and gently grabbing a fistful of your hair.

His tongue tangling with yours make your insides burn with need, and your hips instinctively roll against his crotch, making you moan when you feel his still soft cock inside his pants. His hand comes from your hair to your waist, holding you still.

"Baby." His voice sound deep and aroused as he breaks the kiss, softly panting as he talks to you. "We don't have to do anything. We can go slow, slower than we're going. I'd love to just lie down with you tonight." He stares softly at you, his thumb caressing your belly.

"I want you, Joel. Want to feel you before you leave." You say, cursing at yourself when you realize what you've just said.

"Not going anywhere, baby." He promises, furrowing his brows before kissing you again, deeper and more passionately, making you moan into his mouth, his hand exploring your curves and your stomach, its roughness erupting chills on its tracks.

You can't stop your hand from reaching for him when he grabs one of your breasts, gently massaging it through your shirt. He pulls back when you touch his crotch.

"You first, angel." He says, removing your hand and kissing your neck. Then your shoulder, your collarbone. His hand softly pulls on the hem your shirt.

"Can I?" You respond by removing it, laying back down, your back still facing him, your hand reaching back for his hair, running your fingers through it.

His hand finds your breasts again, kneading them before he lifts himself behind you, sliding underneath your right arm to place ghostly kisses first around them, circling his way closer to your nipple, looking into your eyes for any reluctancy before he moves any further.

Not finding any and feeling how you pulled gently on his curls, he licks around your nipple once, still looking into your eyes. When you moan, he takes it in his mouth, humming at its softness. You whimper at how his beard scratches your skin.

The new and soft sensation of his tongue on you makes your clit burn between your legs, that you're pressing against one another, looking for some release for the almost painful need you're feeling.

He squeezes your hips, gently at first, but more and more firmly as you pull on his hair, his lips sucking tightly around your nipple, opening and closing around it, like he's trying to drink from it.

"More, Joel. Please." You whimper, your head spinning as you drown in simultaneous under and over stimulation.

"Want me to touch you, baby? Wanna feel my fingers on you?" He asks, letting go of your nipple, his voice breathy and raspy, and you whimper in response. "Would love to feel you, baby. Know you're so wet for me already. Wanna make you cum on my fingers." He says while tracing kisses from your breast to the back of your shoulder.

"Yes, please. Yes, Joel." You say eagerly, desperately almost. Making him laugh amusedly and spread your legs, pulling your right one over his hips. Slowly running his hand from your hip to your mount, the mere warmth of his hand making you grind against it.

"So desperate, baby. Gonna take my time, make you feel so good." He pants on your neck, lowering his hand even more, drawing soft circles around your clothed clit, earning weak whimpers and moans from you. "Let's take this off." He says, pulling on your pijama shorts, and you lift your hips to help him.

He pulls your leg back over his hips and caresses you through your panties for a bit, running his middle and index fingers up and down your folds, teasing at your entrance, softly pressing on it.

He palms your folds, gently squeezing your pussy. "So good, baby." He praises, his lips never leaving your neck. He runs his fingers of the elastic of your panties, playing with it. "Is this okay?" He asks, his fingers carefully sliding underneath them.

Your moan is enough of a green light.

His rough fingers make their way under your underwear, ghosting over your mount, then your folds. Finally finding the crease between them, gently touching your clit before spreading your folds, groaning when he feels how wet you are.

"Dripping already, baby. We haven't even started yet." He teases, nibbling at your ear and making you giggle. He laughs behind you. "Goddammit, baby, I..."

He stops himself with a grunt before he says too much, before he lets out something he's been pondering on, a feeling he's not managing to prune as it grows roots inside him.

He circles your clit again, just his middle finger rolling lazily over it. He uncovers it from the skin on top of it, making your whole core burn for him, the rough textured of his fingers on such a sensitive spot making you pull away with a whine.

"Sorry, baby. Too much?" He asks, kissing your shoulder, and you whimper in response, getting close to him again. "It's okay. We won't ever do anything that doesn't feel good."

He goes to your entrance and draws circles over it, slowly pushing the tip of his middle finger inside you.

"This okay?" Comes out in a whisper on your neck.

You love how he's always making sure you're enjoying what he's doing. Always checking in on you.

"More, Joel." You manage to put out.

"Okay, but just one, alright? We can work on two later." He says and you nod. You just need something from him.

He french kisses and bites on your shoulder while he pushes in, your walls engulfing him. You moan when his finger goes fully inside you.

It's so much bigger than yours.

He groans as he spreads his palm over your pussy, squeezing it quickly before gently thrusting his finger in and out of you.

"You feel so good, baby. So tight around my finger." His breath fans on your neck, and you have to swallow back a loud moan when he curls his finger, just like he taught you last time, hitting an even deeper spot than you managed to.

"Shh, real quiet, angel." His thumb finds your clit and he caresses it lazily, his finger moving slowly against your walls, your hips moving to try and ease the burn.

You feel his erection against your ass and your hand looks for him, grabbing him through his pants, earning a grunt, moaning when you feel how hard he is.

"Wanna feel you cum like this, can you try that for me, baby?" He asks while he fasten his movements, each thrust deeper and faster, each curl tighter and each circle around your clit more desperate. His hips bumping against your hand while you try to work him.

"Joel." You moan softly when your body starts contorting around him, your core burning as your hips move against his hand. "Please, let me do it." You plead, struggling to open his belt with just one hand.

"Fuck." He curses while he lets go of you, desperately opening his belt and freeing himself. He helps you remove your panties before carefully pulling you back in his arms, spooning you. His left arm underneath your head as his right arm pulls your leg over his hips again, his cock pressing against your ass, his hips grinding against you.

You stroke him slowly, spreading his precum all over his length, giving a special attention to his tip.

Just like he taught you. His grunts a sign you've learned just right.

His hands return their work, one on your pussy while the other alternates between caressing your hair and kneading your breasts, and you can feel his strong arm contracting underneath your face as he moves.

He notices your hand around him and your breathing both getting more erratic, an almost painful look in your face.

"Relax, cum for me, baby, let me feel you. I'm right here, I've got you, just let it come." He coos, and you twist your hand around him, making him thrust into it.

Being so close, so tangled, so vulnerable with him overtakes you, and your orgasm builds like a wave, slow and steady before crashing against your core, making you forget everything that wasn't Joel.

His smell, his warmth, his hot breath on your neck, his sounds, his rough fingers, his hardness.

You bite his arm that's under your head in an attempt to quiet yourself as he engulfs you with it, holding you tight and close to him, whispering praises and curses on your ear, thrusting slower and deeper into your hand.

"There we go. Feels so good around my finger, baby." He coos while you contort under his embrace.

He grunts as you probably squeeze his cock a bit too hard while you cum.

"Even prettier like this, my pretty girl." He praises as he pulls out of you, your arousal leaking all over your leg and butt.

"Making such a pretty mess for me, baby, look at this. You're gonna feel so good around me, angel." He thrusts into your hand again and shows you his finger, glistening and wrinkled from being inside you for so long, coated in your juices.

He sucks on it, furrowing his brows and humming at your taste, an amused smile on his face. His hips buck forward while he laughs, looking adoringly down at you.

"Taste so, so good, my baby, goddammit." He pants, and you wanna see him do it again, so you let go of him and gather some of your juices, bringing your fingers to his mouth.

He's quick to suck around them, rolling his tongue around your fingers and giving you a peck on the lips.

He thrusts forward again and his cock slides against your folds, making you both moan. "Hmm. Thank you, angel." He smiles on your lips, spraying kisses on your collarbone and your throat, his hips moving at a slow pace, savoring how you feel against his cock.

"So soft. So wet for me." He praises, hugging you, squeezing your waist and your breasts, moving his hips with more intent. Your belly clenching when his tip brushes against your sensitive clit.

"You like this, baby? Does it feel good? Feels real good to me." He breathes on your hair, his voice deep and raspy.

His right hand comes back underneath your face, and you snuggle against it, weakly bitting his palm and indulging on its texture against your skin.

It all feels amazing. The contrast between his rough, calloused hands and his soft, wet and warm cock rubbing against your pussy making you see stars. He feels so, so good.

"Feels so good, Joel." You moan.

"Close your legs real tight for me then, baby." He instructs and you do, pressing your thighs together, feeling his cock pulse between your legs. "There you go, good girl. Making me feel so good, baby." He says as he picks up his pace.

He fucks your folds for a while, grunting and moaning behind you as his cock opens it's way through them, spreading them and brushing his tip against your clit. The way his strong arms keep you close to him make you start rolling your hips instinctively against his cock.

He changes his pace to meet your hips, setting a passionate and deep rhythm, and you can hear the wet sound of your bodies pleasing one another when you move just slightly harder.

When you start to really enjoy yourself he suddenly stops, laying you on your back and climbing on top of you. He spreads your legs, making room for his broad frames between them.

He looks so big, so strong above you. You run your hands on his arms, frustrated that he's still fully clothed while you're so exposed for him.

Not that he makes you feel bad like this. No... It feels actually strangely good to be fully naked under a fully clothed Joel Miller.

He notices you mesmerized by him and just stand above you, kneeled between your legs, admiring your own exposed body.

To think that he did everything he's done to you without having to remove a single piece of his clothing is impressive.

But you need more, you want to see him, to feel his skin against yours. If feeling his hands and his mouth feels good, you know you're gonna be lost when you feel his bare chest and stomach burning your skin.

You undo the first button on his flannel, and he laughs.

"You look so sweet, so pretty, my baby." He praises, fixing your hair and leaning down to kiss first your cheek — right besides your nose, under your eye — , then another one on your lips. A sweet and lovingly kiss. You use the proximity to finish undoing his flannel, moaning frustrated when you notice the shirt underneath it.

You pull on it's hem, and thankfully he doesn't protest, just standing on his knees and letting you remove it.

You moan when you lie back down and look at him. He wonders if he's wrong when he sees the way you look at him.

As he got older and older people seemed to want to see his naked figure less and less. And to have you looking at him like that... Set a whole new branch of roots inside his heart.

You run your hands up his sides and his chest, and he closes his eyes at the feeling of your warm and soft hands. It's been a long, long time since he felt like this. You cup his cheeks and he lowers himself on top of you.

Having him on top of you is everything you hoped it'd be.

He's soft, warm and heavy.

So deliciously heavy.

You moan at the feeling and he holds himself higher, afraid to hurt you, but you pull him back, even lower, needing his weight to crush you.

You can't even breath properly, and you love it.

You wrap your arms around him, running your hands on his back and squeezing his shoulder blades. He does the same, his arms snaking underneath you, holding you like he was afraid you could ever think of going away from him.

If it was up to you, you'd never leave this bed again, this position, this man. Every kiss he places on your neck makes you roll your hips and squeeze him between your thighs.

He lifts himself a little and guides his cock between your folds again, spreading them apart and thrusting through them, pressing his cock against you with his thumb.

"Fuck." He pants as he slides his tip over your entrance. "Can't wait to be inside you, baby. Never gonna leave you again." He says, biting your jaw softly.

The promise makes its way to your heart, the thought of belonging to him, being with him, taking care of him and being taken care of consumes you, making you roll your hips on him.

"Please Joel. I'm ready, I want to." You plead, holding his arms.

He laughs.

"No, baby. You may be, but she's not. Look at this." He says as he presses his tip on your entrance, making you clench instinctively at the invasion and whine in pain. "You need to learn how to relax for me. Need to get used to being close to me like this. I need you to be sure about it." He says as he kisses your hand that's squeezing his shoulder.

"I am, I want you." You say, feeling as he slides the very tip of his tip inside you, grunting at how tight you feel around him. He thrusts slowly, just the tip going in and out of you.

And you have to give it to him... It feels like a lot. Even just his tip requires a considerable stretch, and the thought of having him almost carving your insides to make room for himself makes you clench around him.

"Shit — grunts — fuck, baby. See? She needs more time, I don't wanna hurt you." He says as he lowers himself to press a sweet kiss on your cheek, right besides your nose, pulling his tip out of you and sliding his cock through your folds again.

You moan when you feel his now much wetter tip brush against your clit.

He pulls your left leg up, bringing your knee close to your chest, caressing your thighs, not stoping his movements. You whimper as his weight sinks you down onto the mattress, and you wrap your arms around him, digging your nails on his shoulders, pulling away when he grunts from it.

"Sorry." You moan, afraid you've hurt him.

"No, baby. C'mon, squeeze me, it means you're liking it." He reassures you, thrusting slower and harder, pressing his hips deeper on top of you and bringing your other leg up.

"I wanna see it, Joel." You breath, holding firmly into his shoulders, your brows furrowed as you push him away, looking down where your bodies are connected.

"Yeah, baby? I love seeing it too. You look so pretty all spread for me like this, all ready and wet for me." He pants, touching his forehead to yours, looking down.

His hips get more erratic with every thrust, his hands supporting him up and squeezing you as he lowers himself on top of you again.

"Gonna make me cum, baby. But I wanna see you do it again, think you can do it for me?" He asks, his voice low.

"Yes." You moan, focusing on how good he feels rubbing against your core.

"There you are, such a good girl for me." He praises, kissing your neck, fastening his movements even more. "Gonna feel so good cumming under me, with my cock for the very first time, baby. Give it to me, c'mon." He says, moving your hair away from your face and cupping your cheeks.

The constant and relentless pace he sets along with his praises becomes too overwhelming, and you bite his shoulder to not scream when you cum, clenching and convulsing around air. Crying out in pleasure, droll dripping down his shoulder, tears running down your cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. I know it feels so good, doesn't it?" He coos.

His hand that was on your cheek now supports your head up against him, caressing your hair softly, soothing you.

"Goddammit, baby. Can feel you pulsing on me." He says, staring down, watching himself slide through your dripping folds.

You only moan in response, letting go of his shoulder and kissing the deep mark your teeth left on it.

"Gonna cum for you, baby. You did so well for me, such a good — grunts — fucking girl. My... All mine." He stutters, not being able to form comprehensive sentences anymore. "Can't do it like this, no. Fucking can't." He pants before dropping to your side, stroking himself deep and fast.

You watch his strong torso as it raises and falls heavily, curses and senseless words falling from his lips.

But when he calls you... By your name, a breathy and passionate moan... You can't help it.

You reach for him, wrapping your hand around him.

"Fuck, just like last time, baby." He instructs before running his fingers through your hair and caressing your cheek with his thumb. "Such a pretty girl. I'm so fucking — grunts — lucky, angel."

His praise makes you fasten your movements, twisting your wrist around him and rolling your hand around his tip.

"Joel?" You call and he groans in response, looking at you. "Can I put it in my mouth this time?" You ask, using that goddamn voice to try and convince him.

"Jesus — no, baby. No mouth." He pants, fighting the words as they leave his mouth.

God, he loves how much you want to suck his cock. He fucking loves it.

You tighten your grip when you feel him pulse, craving more of the sensation.

"Shit — fuck. Like that, baby. Gonna make me cum for you."

When you feel him twitch and you see the first stream of cum spurt out his his tip...

...you forget everything he told you. You notice his eyes closed shut and lower yourself, opening your mouth in front of his tip, drawing a circle around his tip with your tongue.

He doesn't taste as bad as you remembered.

His hips immediately buck into your face, a gutural sound leaving his throat.

"I said no — grunts — fucking mouth, baby. Goddammit." He says, his hips thrusting up, his hand fisting your hair, but not pulling you away.

You keep licking around his tip while he cums, leaking into your mouth and your hand. You don't keep anything in your mouth, letting it all fall down on your hand and his crotch.

You look up at him and find his eyes on you. Instead of feeling shy, though, you smile, sucking around his tip for the first time, and he spurts one last time inside your mouth with a grunt.

"Fuck, baby. Felt so fucking good." He says when you feel him start softening in your hand. He fixes your hair lazily while you lick your lips, drinking what was dripping down your chin. "Doesn't taste gross anymore?" He teases, seeing how focused you are in drinking every drop of him that's on your face.

"Tastes better directly from you." You lie, only taking it into your mouth because you like how he looks at you when you do so, holding back a bitter expression when you taste more and more of his cum.

Although you have to admit... It does taste better than last time.

"Come up here, angel." He calls, pulling you on top of his chest. "You okay?" He asks while looking deep into your eyes.

You nod. Okay is nothing compared to how you feel right now.

You feel like you're floating, like you're in a transe, like jelly.

You kiss his chest, snuggling your face on him.

"Are you feeling better?" He whispers on top of your head, his hot breath on your hair.

"I feel so good, Joel."

"You do? And you're not gonna thank me, baby? I thought you had better manners than that." He teases, laughing softly underneath you, your body going up and down along with his chest.

"Thank you, Joel. Thank you too." You lightly tap his softening cock.

He laughs. There's the sillyness he missed during dinner.

The playfulness he knows he'll miss the most when he leaves you.

If he ever manages to leave you.

"Our honor, baby." He squeezes you tighter and kisses your forehead. You wrap your arms around him, feeling sleepy already.

When he feels you soften on top of him and your breathing get softer, he softly scratches your head.

"Hey, baby. Can't sleep like this. Gotta clean you up." He whispers, rolling you on the bed, on your back, and kissing your pout with a smile before going to your bathroom.

You admire his naked figure. His strong back, his broad — so broad — shoulders, his strong legs. He looks like a sculpture, like a God, almost.

And you'd be lying if you said you couldn't describe what you feel for him as almost devotion.

Your blasphemies are cut when he walks back in, already clean, with a cloth in hands. He climbs on top of the bed and spread your legs, caressing your thighs.

"So pretty." He praises when he cleans you, softly to not hurt you. Laughing when the cloth touches your clit and your body jerks up.

He finishes and kisses your belly, right above your mount, going lower and pressing a kiss on your folds.

"Joel." You moan.

"Sorry, baby. Don't wanna make a mess again." He teases you, lifting himself.

"Can you do it? Put your mouth on her?" You ask, a new spark of arousal hitting you at the thought of his warm mouth on you.

"Can't wait to, baby. But not today. No. Now the only thing you're gonna do is sleep." He puts his pants and his shirt back on before grabbing your panties and your shirt.

He dresses you back up and lie down behind you, spooning you again, his right hand coming underneath your cheek, pillowing it.

You moan at how good it feels to be so close to him. At how vulnerable you can be with him, knowing he won't move one finger unless you're okay with it.

You fall asleep faster than any other night since he arrived, only waking up for a slip second when you feel him carefully letting go of you. And you feel colder, but you know he can't sleep with you.

He presses a kiss to your temple, whispering something muffled before leaving your bedroom.

...

When he lies on his bed he seals his fate. He can't stay way from you. He doesn't want to.

The whisper on your cheeks more a confession to himself than to you.

"I think I love you."

It reverberates in his chest, a feeling he thought could never bloom again in his infertile heart. A feeling only you could sow on him.

Please, please let me know what you think about it. I love reading your thoughts, reblogs, asks and comments on this series 🩷

Hope you liked it, have a wonderful day, besties 🩷🫶🏻

My Masterlist 🩷🪷

Been a long while since part two, so I'm tagging some people that seemed to really like this series so far 🫶🏻

@pedritoferg @cleopatra99 @samsamsantos @thecaptainpandabear @blooodmoonbarnes @yourwinchesterbros @walkintheprk @cruelfvkingsummer @laiisleitte

[marblemoovt]

Not to put pressure on u or anything, but how's that brat taming yuushi fic going?

Take ur time ofc!! :)

It's going! I'm going to put everything below the cut in case I ramble.

Is this fandom still alive btw? Are there any other people out there drooling over this pathetic man and his hot wife? Or maybe you guys are like me and are patiently waiting for someone else to write a fic lmao.

I took a long break from writing for a while and have only recently gotten back into it. And I think that break did me some good! Writing doesn't feel as grueling as it used to so I'm making steady work on that fic. But you didn't hit read more to learn about my personal life. You wanted to hear how the fic is going.

And anon... 👀 I am at 5k words and we're not even at the brat taming yet 😩😩😩

But I am bringing the spice and I'm honestly quite happy with it so far. I struggle to capture this feeling of mundaneness (is that even a word?) in all my fics. Basically, I want them to feel realistic to me and not flat. I can already feel myself rambling so I'll stop myself.

I have no clue when the fic will be finished. I currently only write while I commute to school and back (rip anyone who glances at my phone).

Here's a chonker of a snippet to tide you over:

(Context: Reader doesn't keep their promise to return home on time. Currently they're in their car)

You decide to take a peek at your phone, unlocking the screen to be greeted with a wall of text. A grin sneaks onto your face, and you glance at your surroundings. Taking a risk, you shimmy your pants down past your knees. Turning on the camera, you snap a picture of your drooling cunt, framed perfectly by a pair of dark, lacy underwear. This specific one happened to be one of Yuushi’s favourites since it was crotchless. He liked fucking you senseless while still being able to admire the lingerie. 

You scroll up and skim over his messages. They all pretty much mean the same thing: you’re being severely punished when you arrive home. Maybe this is pouring gasoline on an open flame, but—you smirk and hit send—you think you’ll enjoy watching it all burn. 

You reluctantly slide your damp pants back on—it’s better than making a mess on the car seat. Those things can be a nightmare to clean. Not even a minute later you can see that he’s looked at your picture. Almost immediately after, the call screen appears with Yuushi’s caller ID. You turn the ringer off your phone and place it in the cup holder with the screen facing away. “Sorry, Yuushi. I shouldn’t call and drive at the same time,” you say in a singsong voice, knowing very well he can’t hear you. How pissed off is he now? You hum and turn the key, feeling the car roar to life. You glance over your shoulder at the bags behind you. At least you remembered to buy many, many, many condoms and another bottle of lube. Shifting gears, you pull out of the parking lot and drive to your doom.

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

HI‼️🫶

i’m literally obsessed with platonic yandere older brother jade. it’s like i’m getting spoon-fed gold🤭

poor y/n 😭😭 girl can’t catch a BREAK in either timelines

okay hear me out- what do you think would happen if jade almost k words them, like they’re literally on the brink of death but this time notices their struggling slowly stopping and their eyes rolling.

you know how in the og timeline jade was terrified and extremely remorseful (self proclaimed) that he k worded y/n. that he didn’t mean to. so what if he realizes ‘holy shit they’re about to die,’ do you think jade will continue for the bit or do you think he’ll immediately stop once he realizes what almost happened

what if floyd walked in on jade trying to k word y/n, would he stop it?? would he walk in on jade in the act, or would he come in after the fact to a freaking out jade. would floyd save their younger sibling? (i feel like he would and that they secretly both don’t want y/n to die. )

but ofc y/n doesn’t know that, they don’t know that this is some sick joke jade is playing that they’re both somehow in on together.

if y/n does survive i feel like they’ll have a new favorite brother (and it’s not jade)

there’s so many way this scenario can go and i think that’s what’s fun about it

i just wanted to share some thoughts cause i’m currently brain rotting about this😩😩

KEEP UP THE KILLER WORK‼️‼️ (haha get it)

Oh wow! Thank youuuu ❤️❤️!!! I haven't thought about those fics in a while, but I'm really glad you liked them so much! I'll answer your questions!

If he were to realize that (Y/N) was about to die while he was choking them, I believe he'd continue doing so, but only point of making them pass out. The moment they're out, he'd stop strangling them and whenever they regain consciousness he'd just tell them "I decided not to kill you for now. Enjoy it for as long as you can." But of course, there's still a fun little chance he'd kill them unintentionally during that. Heh.

If Floyd were to have walked in on Jade strangling (Y/N), he'd probably try to stop it. Probably.

And of course, if (Y/N) were to survive the strangling, they'd definitely have a new favourite brother, and that new favourite would definitely not be the one who tried to kill them.

So yeah, I agree with what you said... maybe I'll write another thing about that sometime. Probably not right now, but it seems fun now that I'm thinking about it again, I just have no idea where else I could go with that story...

Anyways, thanks again and hope you have a good day or night!

[yan-randomfandom]

Hello! Call me Yan (any prns), and I'm honestly here to satisfy my cravings as a writer 😔

♪ REQUEST STATUS: OPEN—Although please understand if I was unable to answer yours, it might be for plenty of reasons.

WHAT DO I WRITE?

x reader, my beloved i dont use y/n tho

Yandere. There are times I won't write yandere, but it's my blog's main trait.

Please read at your own risk. There will be warnings at the start of the chap!

Headcanons, one shots, and drabbles

Mostly SFW — Sexual themes are mild at most. I do not write smut.

My account is multifandom. I am in multiple fandoms, so expect my content to be different every once in a while!

☕support me on kofi!

MASTERLIST... LIST

PART I: Masterlist

Keep reading if u wanna request!

SO, YOU'RE AN ANON

You can name yourself as an anon! It's a nickname of sorts

Feel free to use a name even if it's taken! This is because I hop around fandoms, so anons may come and go, plus it's definitely an easier way to find your request (in tags) 😺

Think of your same-name-anons as like,, wow, u have the same name as me! siblings frfr??

FANDOMS?

I lurk in many fandoms. Not about to list them all, though 😭 Mostly I write about my current obsession! Almost always it's my blog theme :O

Please don't hesitate to ask from wherever fandom you are! There's no harm in trying! :) Except BNHA. Preferably, no anime.

Better yet, feel free to list down your fandoms in the comments! Anything that you would want to see yandere content in! Just so I can browse and maybe write for!!

LIMITS?

No problematic shipping requests.

Unfortunately, I don't do OCs (':

If the character is 18-, they can be aged up if you'd like, but strictly no NSFW, or in certain circumstances, romance. They're gonna be platonic.

I don't do intense gore. While I do have yandere content, I'm on the sorta wholesome side? Define 'wholesome' ... Implied scenarios are more likely😩

I write non-yandere stories too tho!

Minors, please stay safe. Don't go meddling around with adult spaces!

Sadly, I'm lacking in knowledge of other popular media, so if you happen to request one of those, I might not reply. Instead, I'll be keeping your ask until one day I check that media out.

Part 2s are my weakness. I'm sorry. Doesn't mean you should try asking me tho!

Doesn't matter if the character is well known or not! Cuz I WILL attempt to learn about your request!

Except real life people. I can do actors with their characters, but never peeps' government names.

WHY IS MY REQUEST TAKING SO LONG?

...college

If it's something I've never posted about yet, then it's either I'm not in the fandom, or I'm just clueless.

But other than that... sometimes I take days— weeks— months? to truly click with an idea.

I want to enjoy whatever I'm writing, so I take a break until an idea comes up.

And there's also the fact that I'm working on multiple things at once 😭😭 I tend to focus on easier ones first!!

Also I usually think of ideas at night c:

Worst case scenario: I truly have zero idea for your request, I'm so sorry 😔

NOTES ABOUT ME!

Yandere is my guilty pleasure, I fear🤕

HOWEVER, I do not, and won't ever, condone the behavior I will portray in my writing. Please don't misunderstand, don't romanticize. They are purely fiction and for entertainment.

I regularly change my theme (profile, colors, banner, etc.) just so you know.

This account is for everyone,, we're all just trying to find content of our favorite character fr— so please don't hesitate to request :)

As I close my eyes to sleep, that's when I start imagining scenarios for my writing!

erm skibid toilet

[aransmind]

hi!! you don't have to reply to this, nor do you have to read it all because it might be a bit long, but i just really wanted to tell you how beautiful i find your work😭 honestly, i love the way you render, the way you stylise, the colours you use, the things you draw (especially the way you draw smiles?? like they're reaching the eyes almost, and the joy of the character is palpable. can't explain it, but it just spontaneously makes me smile, too!!) it's art that makes me stop and stare, click away and come back to see it all over again, because it truly is a sight for sore eyes in the most literal sense. i look at your work whenever i take a break, whenever i'm stressed, just in general too — feels like a breath of fresh air, a little pocket of oxygen i can just seep into because all my attention is flicking over the tiny details, the brushstrokes in your shading and the sharpness of the shapes that make up tattoos. there's so much to appreciate, and whenever i think about how much time it must've taken to make, i'm left in awe. your mind creates such pretty things, and your hands translate them in a way i can resonate. it's like your art has words, snippets of stories and i'm taken on a little journey whenever i scroll through your page. (thank you for feeding chosoyuki nation, and making the most beautiful satosugu art. i'm also an absolute sucker for fem!geto😩❤️) i don't think any amount of words will be able to relay what i'm trying to. i could say i find your work pretty, that it's beautiful and nuanced, elegant, unique — because it is all of those things, truly, but that's just grazing the very tip, so it doesn't feel like enough. not good at expressing myself, but maybe one day i'll be able to get my point across. for now, i just wanted to say that i really, honestly, love your art. thank you for putting your time into it. thank you for the heart you've been pouring into each piece. i have nothing but respect and admiration for you. thank you.

hello my love. you have no idea how much these words mean to me. I started crying reading this because I had no idea someone would love my art like this. I struggle a lot (like many artists) because I don't like my art most of the time but the fact that my art makes you feel like that will be always in my mind. everytime I feel sad about my drawings I'll remember your words and keep drawing and posting it online so more people can enjoy it. I can't thank you enough how much these words mean to me. I hope you're having an amazing day dear and I hope my art continues making you feel like that ❣🫂

[willkimurashat]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you so much for tagging me @rebelrayne @0shewrites0 and @libelle949 !!! And I'm so sorry for getting to this late🙈

How many works do you have on ao3?

Only 7 :)

What's your total ao3 word count?

178,312 words

What fandoms do you write for?

Just LITG. For now, at least lol

Top five fics by kudos:

Stargazing

The Answer was Simple

Snog, Marry, Die

You Don't Spell It, You Feel It

Beloved & Beloathed tied with Serendipity

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Always! Getting comments is the greatest joy - responding to them is the least I can do to express my gratitude🥺❤

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably The Answer was Simple, but a lot of my fics have angst woven into them🫣

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Snog, Marry, Die lmaooo 🤭😂😂😂 Pretty much most of them have/will have a happy ending lol

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. One time I got a comment where I just couldn't tell their tone? It felt as if they were almost disappointed with where I took the story, but maybe it was just me reading into things too much.. Either way, I couldn't bring myself to write for a few weeks after that🙃

Do you write smut?

Well, funny that you ask hahaha😅 I was just peer pressured into writing my first smutty smut (ahem Serendipity ahem), but idk if I'll do it again🙈

Craziest crossover:

Haven't done any lol

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Ummm not quite, but there was a time when somebody had posted a chapter of a Will fic and it was suspiciously similar to the first chapter/prologue of Stargazing. Like, their MC had a similar vibes for the name, was also an artist. The structure of the chapter was very similar too - it started with MC doing the intro, then had a line break and then a basically paraphrased paragraph from my fic of how the MC walked up to the firepit. It was so bizarre... That fic stayed on for a few days and since then was removed or hidden, but I still have a screenshot of it somewhere.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

All time favorite ship?

Oh gosh, Anastasia and Will are my beans, you know, they're my children, my babies, but Cece and Andy are just - I want what they have🥺🥺🥺

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

🙈🙈🙈🙈 Jesus Christ. I'm struggling to write right now. I took too long a hiatus and now that I actually do have inspiration and desire to write, I open my wips that are so so dear to me and I love so so much (Stargazing and Beloved & Beloathed) and I just blank out. I get so scared trying to continue them because I feel like I'll ruin all my hard work, if that makes any sense? I feel like I don't know how to continue them. And then I get so overwhelmed that I just close the doc. And then the cycle continues and the writing pause gets even longer and it becomes even harder. But I really really don't want to abandon them because they need to get their deserved ending. Ugh. Sorry for rambling, but I think I just needed to be honest and get that off my chest.

What are your writing strengths?

I think just prose, in general. Like, descriptions of feelings/mood/scene setting and shit like that lol

What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. Or at least it's my biggest insecurity haha😅 and probably not getting too carried away with descriptions👀

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Why not?🙌

First fandom you wrote in?

Litg ❤

Favorite fic you've written?

Don't make me choose. Don't. Make. Me. Choose. 😩😩😩 grrrrr ughhhhh hmmmmm farygbqeirgwrg-

You Don't Spell It, You Feel It

Tagging: I'm very late to this, so I think probably everyone has done it, but if you haven't - this is your sign!❤

[king-arthur-obsessed]

details and blablah under the cut ❤︎

might have seen this little movie with a certain Charlie Hunnam in it? nothing big or fancy of course... *cough cough*

I am very much late to this party, ain't I?

so... I randomly discovered King Arthur, legend of the sword last year (june 2023) when I was looking for a movie to show my kids (junior high teacher here) before summer break. and boy... i am obsessed. it's been almost a year now and it's not slowing down. the hyperfixation really be hyperfixating this time. i rewrote the whole freacking script... FOR FUN 💀 (it's the autism 🤷‍♀️) as a maladaptive daydreamer many stories came to my mind, many silly self-inserts with many silly cringy personalities, and some of them eventually turned into ✨OCs✨ two of these stories I have decided I will write and publish on ao3 and wattpad, and on this blog I shall detail my progress with snippets, blurbs, edits and whatnots. you are welcome ❤︎ I am well aware that the King Arthur fandom, if it ever existed (did you know there was supposed to be 6 movies??? 😩), is probably dead and buried. But oh well, I'm in love with this movie and if no one actually reads my fics or likes my posts then so be it. i'm just happy to share my silly stories ❤︎

★ I will be working on 2 main projects: ❤︎ project 1, temporary-or-not title -> The King's Mage a full rewrite of the movie adding my OC. as canon compliant as can be but the mage will be replaced with my OC with a full backstory which heavily impacts the plot. tags: plot heavy, Arthur x ofc, strangers to slightly irritated partners to lovers, dual pov, 3rd person pov, semi canon-compliant ❤︎ project 2, temporary-or-not title -> The King's Bride starts a few weeks after the end of the movie. A young princess is sent as a bride to Arthur in order to build an alliance between 2 kingdoms. tags: Arthur x ofc, romance, so sweet it hurts your teeth, diabetes level fluffy fluff, innocent-pure-unexperienced-kinda-dumb ofc, maybe smut but not heavy nor the focus and would come late, strangers to lovers, forced marriage

★ about the female OCs: All my fanfictions as of now had started as self-inself daydreaming. I have a maladaptive daydreaming and dissociative disorders and sometimes these stories become more than just silly little self insert scenes with my current obsession, and they start growing and growing until at some point the self-insert persona turns into a whole new original character.

Which is why the female main OCs are most of the time blondes with green eyes and fair skin, because as former self-inserts, they look like me. But their personalities and goals have developed so much that they no longer resemble mine. They have become their own. These characters I now think of as OCs and not avatars of myself.

→ I consider my work to not be self-insert for these reasons but i understand if some disagree.

★ I will first focus on The King's Bride because it's less serious, more of a fun fluffy romance and requires less research and plot devices. But I will also continue working on The King's Mage on the side, just so you know, the latter one will take more time to get published. ★ These two fics are not my top priorities at the moment. I am actively working on 3 other fics in 3 other fandoms. It's more of a side treat for myself since they just cannot leave my mind so whenever I feel like it I will make progress and show it here ❤︎ ★ I'm going to assume these projects will not attract many so I'm taking my time but if you are interested or excited somehow please do tell, it usually gives me a good boost if I know someone out there is expecting my work ❤︎

★ I am currently working on 3 other wips in these fandoms: Hogwarts Legacy / Strangers Things / Rebel Moon

★ You can find my subblogs for each of them where I post updates, snippets, edits and other bonus content:

❤︎ Hogwarts Legacy → Everything Slytherin @slytherin-obsessed ❤︎ Stranger Things → Everything Billy @billy-hargrove-obsessed ❤︎ Rebel Moon → Everything Rebel Moon @rebel-moon-obsessed

★ you can find two of my wips already being posted on ao3 and wattpad: ❤︎ Hogwarts Legacy → ✦ Beyond You Eyes ✦ on ao3 and wattpad ❤︎ Stranger Things → ✦ Stranger Love ✦ on ao3 and wattpad

✦ tiktok ✦ → I post updates, bonus content and other random things for all my fanfics, fandoms and all my c.ai bots.

✦ character ai ✦ → main account.

✦ charcter ai ✦ → french version.

✦ caard ✦ → all my links in one place.

[itskristal]

JOURNAL 20. LOCATION: OLIVINE LIGHTHOUSE

<<Hey! Are you still there? Is this thing still working?

I accidentally dropped my Pokegear in the harbor and Minerva had to swoop to my rescue again. An overnight bath in some rice seems to have fixed things though--this model is just built different, apparently! Bill was nice enough to help me with some test calls, but I think we're officially back online.

Whitney won't stop ranting and raving to me about how lovely Jasmine is, so of course I marched straight to the Gym--but OF COURSE she wasn't there. And OF COURSE she would be at the top of the city's lighthouse, filled with trainers itching to battle... Ugh.😩

I went to eat at this tasty restaurant down by the port and got to talk to a LOT of the sailors there. They got their teasing in, of course--one even said I didn't have a 'killer instinct,' which is...true, I guess? But I guess they warmed up to me--I didn't listen to all those DJ Mary radio interviews for nothing, you know!! One sailor upgraded my fishing rod, one told me more about the new Battle Tower being built, and one even gave me a hidden machine for Strength. (Mira is going to have some fun learning this one...!)

I learned that all the sailors are crew for the new S.S. Aqua ship--how cool is that? I want down by the harbor to check out the boat construction and fish...and ended up catching a timid Chinchou. (Her name is SCUBA, and Bill promised me she'd be kept nice and secure in the storage system! Good luck, Scuba! Reminder to meet all my 'boxed' Pokemon later...)

When it came time to scale the lighthouse, I miiiight have overdone it on the healing items--but I ended up needing all of them to keep my team healthy! Mira learned Dragon Rage and almost tore another hole through the floor--what's with all of Johto's buildings having these pitfalls anyways? Still, we were careful enough, and that's when we got to meet Jasmine and Amphy.

Even thinking about Amphy right now makes my heart break! Poor, poor thing...and Jasmine was so lovely, but she's shier than Scuba was--and I could tell 100% of her energy was going towards Amphy's care. Despite that, she congratulated me on scaling the Lighthouse and we shared a little Fresh Water teatime together while I filled her in on what I've done so far...

Jasmine said that Amphy needed the SecretPotion from Cianwood Pharmacy, and I accepted the mission before she even thought of asking. She kept asking if I was sure, if I wanted to make the trip, blah blah blah...but my mind was already made up. If I can help make Amphy feel better, then that's just the right thing to do. Case closed. 😤

Maybe I've bit off a little more than I can chew...I guess I can't resist playing hero...but as I'm fitting Mira up with our supply pack of Fresh Waters and medicines (thanks for the reminder, Mom), I keep glancing at that glittery Battle Tower in the distance...and that endless sea in the other direction. (One of my sailor friends lent me a star map but I don't know how to read it!! Now seems like a good time to learn...because I'm not turning back. Amphy needs that medicine, and my team--especially Lumi--is ready to set sail.)

Oh gosh

What have I gotten myself into now?>>

[vro0m]

You were there during the aftermath of 2021. From what I get from the veterans it was hell.

Me I'm kinda new to the fandom. See,I knew about Lewis in about 2017-2018 because I was following Jourdan Dunn and Olivier Rousteing (Balmain) on Insta , and there was this Balmain campaign. So I saw him and let me be real, he looked like that typical lightskin man who is a fuckboy, party like Neymar, is toxic and will live you wahala back, front, left, right, up down and center. So it was a pass.

Then comes I think the time around may 2022 i got interested in knowing who is Lewis Hamilton. Prior to that some aesthetic blog non F1 related blog that were my mutuals and could not name one F1 driver beside him, so in my head this was already a fine fine boy.

I am going to be honest with you I'm not a Lewis fan because of F1 but because of his influence outside of F1 (things like his Tommy gig, Balmain, his appearances in celebrity events like the Met Gala). The main reason I became a fan is because he is handsome and dress well and is an A-list celebrity, so even if you think Formula 1 is a brand of baby food, you know who that man is. Plus as a Black woman I gotta support the only Black man in the sport, so.

But again I joined F1blr in 2022. And let me tell you: it was a mess. Drama everywhere, fandoms war everywhere, racism everywhere and on top of that I do not even understand how a car works! It made me feel like I was Beyoncé and Jay Z had just cheated on me: the fandom was giving me chest pain because I had to defend a 37 years old man's legacy to strangers who had babies with their fave driver in delululand.

Fortunately for me, I remembered that blocking people and filtering tags is something. So now my experience is enjoyable. Also, when and why did you become a Lewis fan (si tu en es une, parce que je viens de me rappeler que tu parles français et que j'aurais juste pu écrire en français dès le début 😩)

Sorry pour le long pavé là

Yeah but comme ça tout le monde comprend c'est plus convivial mdr

Okay so here's how it came to be for me. I was watching My next guest needs no introduction with David Letterman on Netflix in 2019. Loving it. Season 2 episode 3 was Tiffany Haddish. I was getting close to the end of the episode, so I took a peek at who's next. "Lewis Hamilton". 🤔 sounds vaguely familiar, I'm like who's that. Read the summary : "World champion Formula One driver..." I go : "aww no fuck that who cares about Formula One". But I'm nothing if not curious. I didn't know who Tiffany Haddish was either. I still watched. I still learnt. I still enjoyed. I think "whatever, if it's boring I'll skip it". It wasn't boring.

First of all same as you he got my attention because he's hot. No way around it. Second of all he got my attention because he explains F1 isn't just sitting in a car, that it's super hard, that it's an actual sport. Third of all he got my attention because he was endearing af. He talks excitedly and knows his shit. He takes David Letterman for a ride and they break a car. He makes his dad stand up from his seat in the audience so everyone can applaud him for everything he did for his son. (Gifs : 1 - 2 - 3) I'm like seriously : WHO'S THAT.

And, I repeat, I'm nothing if not curious so I think "eh, I guess I don't know shit about F1 and it's not what I thought. Maybe I should watch a race." Pour mourir moins con, comme on dit. So I look it up. When's the next race. Oh this sunday. I'm not very busy on sundays. Where can I watch it. Oh they broadcast it on national tv for free. How convenient.

I watch the race. Here I am almost 4 years later. I came for Lewis, I stayed, extremely weirdly, for the sport.

[tddyhyck]

i read ur entire perv series after sending u those asks and i have to say they're all so GOOD (rlly tired rn and will tell u my thots later). and i'm just a silly lil fool because i fr thought the back scratches post was about nsfw scratches and felt like such a dummy when i realised it was sfw 😭 funny moment.

also AHHH ur response,, chenle's so MEAN 😭 i love that the omo community on kpopblr picked the meanest people to project the fantasy on 😂 the mean ones hit different with this 😩 and i'm glad the asks brought u joy 🥺 i didn't know u were on break but i hope u know that ur works don't seem rusty! might be a weird thing to say but u're doing a good job 🥰 so don't feel bad!

i saw ur writing an entire fic now, GOOD LUCK and thank u again for feeding us 😭❤🥵 remember to take breaks! i hope u've had a good day :3 (is it fine if i sign off with an emoji in the future? i'm ok either way, just wanted to check with u!!)

OMG i thought about doing the back scratches post as nsfw maybe i will 🤔🤔

i just love the idea of him being mean about it 🤭🤭 but i also imagine some of the other members who would be sweet about it

and thank u!! i had been wanting to come back but i think it’s almost scarier than a first post since people have an expectation you know

omg i am loving the fic so far it’s gonna be shorter but i’m obsessed!!

also yes ofc you can use an emoji 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[bumblely]

Thank you very much for your kind words on part 1 🥹🥰 so here's part 2! Let's (re)style Fabio!

2023-03-20, Camp Nou, el Clàssic (💙❤️)

(left) D&G sweatshirt with logo + Versace trousers + Balenciaga sneakers |●| (right) Prada fall 2023 menswear look 2 (the colar) + Levi's 578 baggy indigo stonewash (I could have used Versace's as well) + Balenciaga×Adidas sneakers triple s [I wanted to keep the sweater because it has a nice texture but the round colar is a bit boring so I added this baby blue and yellow one (I'm obsessed with them 😩) some blue baggy jeans (I'm not fan of the texture of his and they're too tight for my liking) and I used the same brand as him for shoes - they would look good on the pitch as they're sport shoes]

8 other outfits I created (using some of his shoes). colors look good on him but not every single color that exists on the same shirt 😅

(left) Marni jumper and jeans + D&G daymaster sneakers (he owns them) [I'm in love with the colors 😩] |●| (right) Jacquemus polo, Stockholm surfboard club (I'm sure he'd love the this brand) trousers, Nike dunk university red [the polo looks so fluffy and soft, I love how bright it is]

(left) Jacquemus shirt and trousers, Dr Martens shoes [this style is a bit different than Fabio's - we've never seen him with Docs but I think it'd be nice. I feel like he'd wear this shirt with shorts but I don't really like them 😅] |●| (right) Loewe shirt Jacquemus trousers Nike×Off White (he owns them) [I liked these Nike when I saw them, they match this long-sleeved shirt well and the metalic trousers work well here without being basic]

(left) D&G jacket and jeans, Off-White out of office trainers [he wears D&G too often I had to do something with it - they have some nice things. this jacket has to be opened, I edited to 3rd button, but maybe one more would be better? red Off white for the pop of color] |●| (right) Nahmias shirt, Marine Serre under-shirt and jeans, Reebok×Maison Margiela trainers [almost looks like an outfit for a photo shoot. she realised a motorsport inspired collection (there is a few item heavily inspired by leather suit but make it fashion) I had a hard time choosing between green and orange trousers 🤔]

(left) Rhude shirt and jeans inspired by F1 in 80s-90s Louis Vuitton green trainers [I'm obsessed with this f1 inspired Rhude collection. he loves patterns enough to wear it to an f1 race. I love these jeans so much so bad they cost almost €1k 🫣 and the green trainers to 'break' the red and it works well with the blue] |●| (right) Amiri jacket, Heliot Emil shirt and liquide metal like trousers, New Balance shoes [I really like the baby blue jacket and these trousers, I used a black shirt (you can't really see it but there are zippers so it can be worn in different ways) and red sports shoes for the pop of color and to make it more interesting]

❤️❤️❤️