#but it works because julian wouldn't be Julian if he wasn't also saying fucked up things.

[idonotbitemythumbatyou]

Working title is "Baseball on Bajor" and it's a 10-ish year post canon about the survivors of DS9 dealing with becoming religious figures in the new mythology of Bajor.

The warrior of Qo’nos; Exalted to the highest family in his empire, he handpicked the ruler of his people. And thus an empire became a friend to Bajor

The tinkered healer; The prophets whispered that he would need to be more for his task and so at Adigeon he was transformed. His enjoinment to Cardassia made a friend of a foe.

And here are all the times "friend" shows up in chapter 3 of The Seven Year Prologue

Julian always felt like he had done something wrong when Kira wanted to talk to him. They were not as close as he would have liked, and every overture of friendship he’d made so far had been interpreted in the least charitable light possible.

“Garak and I are not really friends. And...” he snorted, “you don’t have to worry about me trusting him.  So while I appreciate your concern, there’s really no need.”

“Everyone knows we’re friends. I don't see the point of keeping this part of it secret.”

But then, that was just the sort of man Miles was. He might struggle with the words, but the love for his friend was never in doubt. At least he was willing to be seen in public with him. Then again, a dark part of Julian wondered why all the people who loved him were so embarrassed to admit it. Maybe it had to do with how apparently "hateable" he was.

and the following self indulgent scene with Dr. Lense is a long bit but it has "friend" in it four times.

“It’s a shame we didn’t meet then. We could have helped each other.”

“So you’re not the cutthroat monster your reputation suggested?”

“No!” Dr. Lense - Elizabeth - laughed. It was an undeniably lovely sight: warm and safe. He wanted to nestle into that laugh and experience it as she did. Or, barring that, close the distance between them to feel that warm safety by proxy. “But I really could have used a friend like you in the academy.” she said.

Until she said it, he hadn’t thought about how much he’d isolated himself in his pursuit of almost-perfection. “I know what you mean,” he said. Their eyes met and for a terrifying moment Julian thought they might kiss.

But she stood up and took another sip of her drink, breaking… whatever that was. “I’m getting engaged, by the way.” she said, pouring herself some water, “I’m going to propose on our next shore leave.”

“Oh! Congratulations!” Julian exclaimed, trying to swirl the energy in the room back to friendly - rather than flirtatious - repartee 

“He’s brilliant. He has the driest humour…" she smiled to herself, no doubt thinking of her soon to be fiancee. "I think you’d like him, actually. He’s Andorian.”

“Is he really?”

“Yes!”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe that you know what an Andorian looks like…”

“He is!” Again, that careless laugh. “Do you…" she tapped the rim of her glass with her fingernail and avoided his eye, "do you have someone?”

“No.” He spoke without hesitation. Because he didn’t, really. 

What else could he say? ‘Yes actually I’ve been sleeping with an older man - a disgraced exiled Cardassian - for almost two years. He lies to me constantly. We have nothing in common but that we like each other and I’m not always entirely convinced of that. He doesn’t seem to care if I live or die. And I think I might have feelings for him. Everything about the relationship is humiliating. And most humiliating of all: I think he has feelings for me but he’s so disgusted by it that he’d rather be alone than acknowledge the connection. He barely wants to acknowledge that we’re–’

“Friends.” Julian said, tipping his glass towards her, “I have no shortage of friends”

This week’s word is…

✨ FRIEND ✨

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private. All fandoms, all ships, all writers welcome.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

"What's that sound behind the thick door"

Anyway, another crappy SVE one-shot, but this time I'm back to Lance x My OC Farmer because I haven't written anything about Julian in a while. So, yeah...

⚠️ Warning: light NSFW, swearing

_________________________________________

The full moon reflected silver on the surface of the sea water, creating a beautiful path that Drake was eager to walk along. The young First Slash Clan member had used up almost all of his mana today to learn how to stand on the water surface without getting wet, but it wasn't enough for him. He's finally figured out how to read the spell correctly, and so he wants to practice more and more until his leg muscles ache from the flow of mana circulating through his veins. But fainting from fatigue is not an option, as his and Brianna's patrolling the Fable Reef today.

So Drake stood on the sandy shore for another minute, enjoying the coolness of the summer night and the seascape, and then headed towards the Guild entrance.

He didn't have to look for his partner for long, as the grumbling of the violet-haired girl could be heard throughout the hall.

"Agh! Fucking hell, stupid- if I'd known this torpedo trout was going to be so stinky - I wouldn't have never touched this damn thing. Yuck! All the soap, and it's still not enough..."

To be honest, the strong smell of fish is quite usual for all members of the First Slash, as most of their diet is fish and seafood, and all thanks to the Gem Ocean, which is rich in marine fauna. However, because of the torpedo trout, created by "dumbass cowards wizards from Gotoro" (Brianna's words), not only ships and boats of the Ferngill Republic's inhabitants became endangered, but also local fish, some species of which were on the verge of extinction.

A member of another Guild, a good friend of Lance's, and the topic of discussion of almost the entire community of adventurers and mages, came to the rescue of the First Slash with fish - Julian needed only a week, a trusty rod and good bait to catch almost the entire shoal of this cursed trout that terrorised the ocean. And since this magical fish, when studied, remained an ordinary fish and, most importantly, safe to eat, the issue of the First Slash clan's expiring provisions was solved as well.

Only the smell from the fish was unbearable - even for regular fish - to the point where cutting and further study had to be moved to fresh air. Brianna, unfortunately, was a "victim" of that odour.

"It's not so bad, and you don't smell like a cut durian anymore." At Drake's not-too-successful attempt to cheer up her partner and lover, Brianna threw a 'stinky' glance in his direction.

'We'll see how you talk when we're both in the same bed after work. Friendly reminder: there are no windows in our room." Still, the girl's stern look softened as she looked at Drake's sympathetic face. "Okay, we'll be patrolling the shore soon. Jolyne and the others have probably gone to bed by now." Brianna's gaze travelled from Drake's face to the wooden door to the guest room that was behind him.

"And that guy with blue and green eyes... Does he sleep here too?"

"Hmm?" Drake turned back around, shifting his gaze to the door as well. "I don't remember Julian leaving the Guild. Though... I haven't seen him in like two hours either. Can't say for sure" He hesitated.

"Shall we check the guest room?" Briana suggested.

"Why? Maybe he's in there, and asleep already. Don't wanna bothering him."

"Him, or them?"

"Them?" Drake asked.

"With Lance."

Sigh, this again...

During the whole time Julian had been at Fable Reef, Brianna had noted to herself that Lance had begun to behave unusually in his presence. Everyone couldn't tell at first glance, but she was not dumb. The look that their second-in-command and that blonde weirdo gave each other... It was the same look she had given Drake when their feelings for each other had just begun to blossom.

That's when the rumours of their secret affair started. Edmund quickly joined in to listen to his friend's gossip, because life on the island was getting a little boring. Gale pretended not to be interested, but still listened to what the others were discussing. All the guild members decided not to let their commander Jolyne in on the details, or else she would have kicked everyone's ass for slacking off on patrol.

"What makes you think there's anything between these two?" Drake still didn't believe Brianna and her 'connected dots theory."

"Because," she said, "I was keeping watch, not exhausting myself in salt water trying to master a spell."

" Wha- Hey, I was practising, you know! While you sneaking around and-"

"AH!~"

A muffled moan could be heard behind the thick wooden door of the guest room. The couple of blue cloaked adventurers instantly fell silent, exchanging surprised looks.

"Well, this farmer is definitely here...."

On tiptoe, Brianna and Drake moved closer to the door, trying to hear anything else. For half a minute there was complete silence, broken only by the sound of the sea from the window and the unpleasant buzzing of gnats near the hall lamps. Both of them were about to think that they had imagined it, when suddenly they heard the same muffled but more clear words:

"Gentle, La -ah! Lance... hah..."

Although the building itself was old, the soundproofing in the rooms was still great. So it had to be really loud to hear this

"Wow, they're definitely fucking." Violent-haired girl conclusion was final.

"Brianna..."

"Edmund owed me a bottle."

"I never thought... Well, I mean, Lance is within his rights to date whoever he wants, I just didn't expect that farmer to... Wait," Drake stopped, "what bottle?"

"Edmund said he didn't believe Lance and this Julian guy were in a secret relationship at all. We bet on a bottle of 'Bluemoon' wine from Stardew Valley. I won," She smiled victoriously at her partner.

"Why am I not surprised..." he signed. "Can we move away from the door, please? I feel uncomfortable, like we're intruding...."

"Aren't you curious?"

"No! Brianna, c'mon!"

She put her hands up. "All right, all right, let's go already," the girl looked into Drake's dark blue eyes again and prodded him. "And after work.... we can open a bottle, light some candles~"

"Heh, you think the smell of candles will block out your fish stench?" This time Drake got a little poke in the side with Brianna's elbow.

"You asshole...." But there was no irritation in the girl's voice. She spoke again, "Hopefully this wine will be good, because the last bottle from Edmund was so terrible..."

""Last bottle?", huh."

Jolyne's commanding voice immediately made the young adventurers stand up in a string.

"It's already midnight, why aren't you two on patrol?" The Guild Head crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow questioningly, humbling her subordinates with a single glance.

"Uh- uh... O- on our way, ma'am." A startled Drake quickly saluted Jolyne, and grabbing Brianna by the sleeve, pulled her towards the hallway exit. Jolyne gave them a glance, stood by that very door for half a minute, listening to the silence, before sighing tiredly and shaking her head, heading for her room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ouch! Love, can you- ow! Can you please be careful..." For a Stardew Valley hero and stoic adventurer, Julian had been whimpering for about half an hour now from the simple massage his partner Lance had graciously provided.

"You should have been more careful earlier, my soul." The pink-haired man pressed Julian's bare back with precise finger movements, forcing the muscles to relax. "Didn't I tell you about the importance of exercising periodically and not sitting in one position for long?"

"The torpedo trout nibble was insane, you saw the bubbles over the water yourself!" Lance wouldn't argue here: his lover had indeed had a very successful and exciting fishing trip. So exciting, in fact, that the blond-haired young man had sat on the sandy shore today with a fishing rod for almost seven hours straight. In one position.

Lance started rubbing Julian's back again. "Still, stretch your body more often, okay? Because if this pain caught you in a fight, it could end badly." Under Lance's hands, Julian almost melted like butter on a hot day. And how his partner knew which points to press.

"Mhm, m'kay. Thanks, love."

"You're welcome, Julian," he paused for a second. "How are you feeling?"

"Never feel better." mumbled Julian sleepily, to the chuckle of his pink-haired lover.

"I think we're done here. Come on, we should get ready for bed. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for the two of us."

[springcatalyst]

About my OCs game

thank youuu @hamburgerslippers for tagging me, as always I have a blast making u look at my guys and i know there's at least one other tag game u sent me that i havent done and yes i live in constant shame

Favorite OC: Julian Dae

I'd love to lie and say I don't have favorites but I do and it's. Well. Not my fault he's bitchy and damaged and disconnected and isolated and angry and (<- is my fault)

Newest OC: Diana Rojas?

I might change her last name BUT I have finally started to figure her out. As far as 'this character has probably existed' she's older than a few others like Sumaya or a couple unnamed ones, but she's actually got plotline so she counts more than them. Also she actually has a design (tho it's subject to change).

Oldest OC: Julian Dae

Of fucking course. He's changed a lot obvi but I first made him in like... 2018. He's old as fuck. Functionally he's more like 2 or 3 years old tho because that's when I solidified his actual story to (roughly) what it is now.

Meanest OC: ...Julian Dae

I'm sensing a theme. Listen I'm not just joking when I say he's a bitch he is kind of an asshole. People don't like him for good reason. He doesn't exactly work and play well with others. He's soooooo defensive that it circles around to being offensive. He

Softest OC: Milo Montalvo!

He's done literally nothing wrong in his whole life but also if you say that you're missing the point and u dont get him like i do <3. Listen. He cares about people and he's easy to be around BUT he makes mistakes and sometimes in the effort of not hurting anybody he ends up doing more damage. But mostly he's sweet. My perfect fucked up guy.

Most standoffish/aloof OC: Brooke Ulriche

She's soooooo disaffected she doesn't see the point of getting close to people anymore so she just doesn't. She moves through people's lives with little thought to them which means she doesnt really care about any of them?? Just in a personable manner?? But also she DOES care but only in the sense of how she is useful to them. She's really normal guys.

Dumbest OC: .... ...Julian Dae

I hesitate to call him dumb but compared to the others... yeah. He's too impulsive for his own good and he doesn't really think about consequences. He's never had a plan in his life. Everybody else is either really methodical (Liliana, Brooke, Reiji) or emotionally intelligent and good at problem solving (Milo, Diana) and Julian just... isn't. He's fuckin stupid but also look out? I guess?

Smartest OC: Liliana Hart!

And that's why they go so well together! Lmao she's not perfect (FAR fucking from it) but she actually IS really good with a plan and is patient and brutal and you know that post that's like "ruthless just means seeing the clear line between here and there"? that's Liliana. She's detail-oriented and careful and while going off-book isn't exactly her strong suit she CAN make it work because she has good instincts. She's good at considering all the options and picking the best one.

Horniest OC: ..............Diana

LISTENNNNNNNNNN I. She. Ok???? If she wasn't so gay like 90% of her problems would go away but I. you. let her live

OC I'd bang: For legal purposes I cannot answer this

yeah i'm taking the coward's road with this one. u dont need to worry about it ASDFGHJKLKJHGFD

OC I'd be besties with IRL: Milo...

I said he's easy to get along with and I'm difficult so like..... Also Liliana tho because she's outgoing and trans and that's all it takes. Julian would just wanna fight and the other three are too quiet so we wouldn't speak to each other because you know I dont start conversations.

also i'm realizing now Reiji gets NOTHING. fuck him i guess (<- i lpve him)

[scolopendress-tag]

I said I'd make a post detailing my kid Asra working for Lucio theory in this post so here it is! 

So Let's get STARDED.

So! To start off, how it began. We do know when Asra and Muriel were kids, Lucio came to them each seperately with a deal.

Essentially: work for me, or I'll hurt your friend.

This was the sentiment he repeated for both of them. So, not wanting the other to be harmed, they both agree - unaware of the other's deal.

For Muriel, it was playing heel/excecutioner at the coleseium. For Asra, it was doing... Well, we never know, aside from he worked under Lucio. But that's what we are here to discuss in any case.

Continued under the read more, for the sake of people's dashes.

Now presumably, if I got my timeline right, Asra at this time would've been around 12 or 13. We don't know much about how Asra was when he was younger, other than that he has certainly changed.

It's also worth noting that it's not amiss to say they were both also still homeless at the time, and the hut hadn't come into the play until after.

Asra was still living on the streets.

This all isn't overly important for any of my claims later, but perhaps someone else could make something of it. It does provide us with some framing for the situation as a whole, though.

Now onto Asra's time under Lucio. I don't know that we have any indication of how long it was, but presumably at least a year if not more.

We do also know that Lucio knew who Asra was. Both in that he knew Aisha and Salim had a kid, and that he knew Asra was said kid.

This is bring this up because we know Aisha and Salim were incredibly talented, and likely incredibly powerful. Lucio wouldn't settle for any run of the mill magician or alchemist for the work he needed. So he must've had some idea that Asra may take after that power as well.

To top it off, he also interacted and talked with the dock kids he also used, (two of which would actually later become palace guards,) and seeing as this is seemingly how he learned of Muriel, it's not off to think that this is also how he heard of Asra again to start. The kids knew of Asra's magic, and roughly where he was, and could've even continued talking about both Muriel and Asra to Lucio for unknown amounts of time.

So now Lucio knows that the kid of his two powerful practitioners of magic is not only still around, but taking after them as well.

If Muriel's intimidating size and physical power are what drew Lucio to him, why wouldn't Asra's considerable metaphysical power and talents draw Lucio in as well?

We know how much Lucio loves power, and that he has an interest in magic because of it, as mentioned in the main story. (no ss sorry... If you have one send so I can add. )

Plus, homeless kid in a vulnerable spot. Easy pickings.

That's what I think this whole thing was about, really. It's all power. Though Asra likely didn't have the full scope of power he does in the current game, he was probably still considerably talented, and was only getting better.

What Lucio specifically probably wanted from Asra then was either to be taught how to use that power, to use Asra for things that required it, and/or use his power for entertainment akin to how he used Muriel.

I think out of these however, using him for his power was most likely. Why? (And teaching him now, more on that further down)

(Sorry for bad quality lmao it's a small image. Also thanks to @8-bit-space for showing these to me like months ago. As you can see I can't stop thinking abt it)

These are screenshots from the old prologue. While they're not canon any more, there's reason to believe they still hold merit as to how Lucio feels about Asra.

Two things to me are major here. First is the "powerful potent magic," and how it's the "real deal," equating to a large part of how he views Asra yet again tying back to a heavy interest in his power. Now, you could argue this relates to using his powers in the palace during the plague, but the second point stands out even more to me.

"The one who broke him for me?"

What this implies to me is that Lucio could never quite get all the way through to Asra or control him when he was younger, and he's been dying to do so. He wanted Asra broken, presumably so that he'll become essentially a tool for him to use for his skill and not put up a fight- something Asra likely did as a child.

Because it seems that Lucio for the most part relied on control through fear when it came to Asra, threatening to hurt Muriel, lying to him about how he executed his parents, likely other things as well. But things seem to point to that never quite working like he had hoped.

This could allude to this as well. Though "impossible" is something Asra's been called a few times, namely also by Julian, there's no reason to assume Lucio wasn't also including his work with him as a kid in "always". Impossible to hate could be his draw to Asra for his power, his talent, his skills, the prospect of which I'm sure Lucio found practically mouthwatering. Impossible to love could be his stubbornness or reluctance to do what Lucio wants, always pushing against him or being hard to deal with, both as a kid and during the plague.

And lines like this, where he calls him a coward. I find it hard to relate this to the plague ritual as he was for the most part willingly helping with that, so it could be resenment for when Asra eventually ran off as a kid, unwilling to put up with him any longer, or his reluctance to do certain things for him then in general.

We know, and it has even been mentioned by a character within the canon, that Asra can be incredibly stubborn, to back that up. Plus, he could've been even harder to work with then both being a kid and as I mentioned earlier he has changed from how he was then, so he could've had more spunk to him or such.

This also easily means that what Lucio was trying to get Asra to do then was something Asra was quite obviously opposed to. Being used for his power is already degrading enough, but there could be more to it.

You'll notice in the post that was linked at the top (the reason I'm writing this) I mentioned pushing Asra to his physical limits and magical extremes. This could be one of the reasons for a push back.

If Lucio was having Asra do things for him involving magic, it's not out of pocket to assume he'd practically run him into the ground- I'm sure he really wouldve loved testing the limits of what Asra could REALLY do.

Wether it be huge expendure of power all at once, or tons of smaller things one after the other, it would absolutely take it's toll. We are shown a few times that using magic can exhaust someone, and I don't remember if this is shown in canon ever (tell me if so!) but pushing it even further could definitely lead to other things such as passing out, (Or nosebleeds, for the aesthetic,) alongside likely being incredibly painful and draining, both mentally and physically.

Basically, abusing his powers and the body that commanded them. It's also possible that the stubborness to work with Lucio could also be partially percieved because of this- Lucio taking Asra's literal physical inability to continue as defiance.

Another reason for push back from Asra would be making him do morally compromising things. This is a little more vague, but intimidation is a common headcanon I see for what Lucio made Asra do, and that could tie in here. Other things could be meddling in things and business he shouldn't, but again, it's a vague thing. Make of it what you will. Fucked up stuff all around.

[EDIT - TEACHING LUCIO]

(THANK YOU @tea-tye for showing me these, and credits to @hangedman-magician for the video they came from!!!!!!!)

...I cannot BELIEVE I forgot this, I KNEW I was missing something. Especially when I was fairly certain I remember Lucio being obsessed with the idea of magic. SO, MOVING ON,

There's not terribly much to pick apart here as it's rather direct- Asra saying he has in fact tried to teach Lucio magic. So in my eyes this solidifies that this was a component of Asra's time under Lucio. I still think my points about Lucio treatment (pushing Asra to his limits) stand, as well.

This can also tie in the stubborness mentioned as, well, can you imagine teaching Lucio? Asra backs this up by saying nothing he has ever said stuck with Lucio, and you know how Lucio gets when things don't go his way. He would've blamed his inability to learn on Asra, likely.

Looking to other quotes mentioned: the 'broke him' line still rings to me like he was trying to use Asra in other ways, and the 'coward' line could go either way from refusing to teach Lucio certain things, or refusing to do certain things for Lucio when he was merely being used. The "impossible" line could also go for others, as trying to teach someone like Lucio would've undoubtedly caused some head butting.

This is certainly really exciting and interesting to me as it gives a more complete picture on the exact situation at hand here. I still stay by my reasoning for Lucio simply using Asra as well on top of being taught because it seems highly likely that Lucio would've been too impatient to learn to do certain things himself, and like I said as well, I don't doubt he also just wanted to see what Asra was REALLY capable of. Something he could've saw as a tantalizing insight into the kind of power he could aquire of this kid would just... work with him.

NOW we have a MUCH clearer answer as to what exactly Asra was likely doing under Lucio, or at this point, almost certainly doing. It's a sad picture for Asra of course, but with this you can draw some interesting points as to how he could've been affected by this, as I'm sure it would've left some kind of imprint on him.

Sure it may not have been as traumatic as what Muriel went through, but when you look at it, it's hard to say it DIDN'T leave it's scars. If we consider all the points presented in this post truth we have:

A 12/13 yo homeless child, threatened with his friend's life to work for the Count that he knew was the one responsible for orphaning him and making him homeless in the first place.

Said child believing his parents are still alive, and as we see in Travel at Night, could very likely still be trying to find them. In a situation like Asra's that glimmer of hope probably was a big deal in helping him push on. This may also be a reason he agreed on top of Muriel's safety.

While working under the count, he is told that his parents were executed, no doubt devastating. The manner in which this was mentioned is up for debate, and could affect exactly how it was taken. Options could be Lucio joking or bragging about it (treating it as trivial or an accomplishment), or using it to threaten Asra, (as in I killed your parents, I'll kill you too,) both would work when it comes to controlling by fear.

It is also mentioned that Lucio told him the reason for his parents execution is that they messed up his gold arm, so Asra also has the knowledge that his parents were killed over something so unbelievably trivial.

Being used as a source of power and nothing else, both for teaching and pure work/entertainment, all for the man who killed his parents, day after day.

Being pushed to physically painful and mentally draining limits, expending so much energy that he completely exhausts himself, day after day.

Likely taking all sorts of verbal abuse from Lucio, day after day.

Like mentioned earlier, it seems clear that Lucio wanted to break Asra, so some other form of trying to chip away at his psyche to make him more convenient for Lucio is likely as well.

Those points alone, to yet again a CHILD no less, seem more than enough to cause some traumatic impact, and depending on certain specifics of what exactly went on during that time, it could be worse. I may make a post looking into the long lasting effects of this on Asra, I may not. It would mostly be headcanon regardless. If you want to add your hc relating to this situation though, I'll gladly reblog it!

And now that we are closing out, it's time to revise my summary. So, without further ado, THIS is what I think was going on during this time.

Lucio knows of Asras existence and parentage.

Lucio learns Asra is around and that he's got power.

Lucio LOVES power, so he threatens Asra into working for him.

Lucio uses Asra for his power and to be taught how to use it for himself.

While using Asra for his knowledge and power, runs him into the ground by pushing his limits to physical and magical degrees, possibly even moral.

Asra pushes back against a lot of this, or is at least percieved to, frustrating Lucio.

Lucio does what he can to try and control Asra even more, primarily via fear, but can't seem to crack him.

Eventually it's too much, and Asra leaves. Likely when the plague hit like Muriel, but it's possible it could've been somewhat sooner. Lucio is PISSED, because he wanted that magical power all to himself.

Less related, I can see Lucio trying to brush it off and pretending to be fine with it, excuse being "he was too difficult to work with, anyways," or something.

...And then... years later, as far as Lucio sees it, Asra comes crawling back- and he's tamed down to a degree! He's actually working with him. Lucio might not know what or who did it, but Asra is finally broke for him, and I'm sure he was absolutely ecstatic to have that power back in his hands- and more than ever before.

Think of all of this as you would like!

At the end this is all still speculative, so definitely feel free to make your own points or say if you feel any different abt anything- expansions or counters on this theory/headcanon welcome!

And if you also have any other screenshots or info not here that could add to the theory or change the outlook of certain things definitely add them!!! I feel like I'm missing stuff for sure, and my memory has probably muddled some things (hopefully I didn't get anything wrong, though.)

And @asrascherry thanks for the offer in helping word my hcs also! I forgot to say that. This one is just so long I wouldve felt bad bringing it all to you 😔 it's probably still messy as a result but I tried lmao (worried it's repetitive or unclear 😬)

Uh yeah! That's mostly it for NOW.

+All the love to Asra for going through so much I'm so sorry bb,,

Thanks for reading!

[transfenris-truther]

25-32

LMAO, all the dirty ones. Okay, answers below the cut for Julian and Fenris. Warning that these are the NSFT ones.

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

For Fenris, there's a certain look. He can glance at Hawke across a room and if he does it in a way that communicates "I want you," Hawke will be there. His nightime stretching routine is also enormously distracting to Julian.

Julian knows Fenris is more physical than he lets on. If he gets in Fenris' space a little, shows off his strength or size, Fenris will be interested. The other thing Hawke does that works for Fenris is asking. Fenris savors being able to say "yes" or "no" and have it mean something. He likes that Hawke asks.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex?

For Julian, it's about giving pleasure. He likes to be able to reduce Fenris to pure want. Likes to give him so much pleasure that he's sensitive and desperate. He loves the honesty they achieve in bed together. Loves that they can each say what they want and express their love for each other in a way that sometimes feels awkward when he's not between Fenris' legs.

For Fenris, he likes the way that the best sex can take him out of himself, the ways that Hawke's affection sometimes makes everything else feel trivial. He has a sense of accomplishment that he can be touched, that he didn't let the lyrium or Danarius ruin this for him. He likes being overwhelmed by something good for once.

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

Definitely. Fenris has a very prominent size kink that he loves indulging because he knows it's completely unconnected to his trauma. He just loves how big Julian is, how much taller and broader he is than Fenris. He thinks that contrast between them is delicious. Hawke likes to indulge that by picking Fenris up, by looming over him when they kiss. It's nice.

There's a certain amount of power exchange in the bedroom that they both enjoy but they take a long time to sort out exactly what mix they like and any bdsm stuff never leaves the bed. Fenris prefers being the submissive party and Hawke prefers the more dominant role, but they absolutely do switch it up.

They are also both really like giving oral. And both for the same reason: there's nothing better than showing off at something you're good at.

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

Hawke was so handsome when he worked. Before Fenris had begun to read confidently he had always been distracted in the study, too preoccupied with trying to work through the sounds on the page and too frustrated with his own ineptitude to notice much about Hawke. Now, he could really appreciate him.

Hawke wore reading glasses low on his nose, emphasizing the gray that had started to grow in at his temples. His house robe was somewhat disheveled, revealing an open expanse of dark chest hair. His trousers were tight across his thick thighs and he wore red house slippers that Fenris found as absurd as he did endearing. Julian's look was scholarly, concentrated, and Fenris wanted that concentration turned on him instead.

Fenris was supposed to be working on his writing, which had come to him more slowly than reading had. However, that wasn't what he wanted. Instead he fantasized about Julian. Perhaps he'd ask Fenris to come sit in his lap. Fenris could run his hands over Julian's chest, feeling that soft hair. He'd pretend he didn't notice Julian getting hard as Fenris rubbed his ass against him. They'd kiss, maybe. Or maybe they wouldn't.

Maybe Fenris would pretend ignorance about what he was doing. He'd get up to go back to his work, pretending he wasn't dripping wet, and Hawke would catch his wrist, stopping him. They could drop the pretense then. Fenris could strip naked while Hawke remained in his clothes, pulling his cock out from his trousers but remaining fully dressed. Even the stupid slippers. And especially the glasses. Julian would bend Fenris over the desk to fuck him. Fenris' chest would be flush with the papers there, trying to support his upper body on his arms as Hawke took him apart over copies of Andre's manifesto and letters begging for Hawke's aide.

It would be nice. Much nicer than copying over a supply list and checking to be certain he wasn't writing his letters backwards. He sighed, sparing a lingering look to Hawke's chest and returned to his work.

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves?

Fenris loves to kiss Hawke's neck and jaw. Both because Hawke seems to like it and it's hot and it's also sometimes as far up as Fenris can reach.

Hawke is very much a talker. He wants to tell Fenris how much he loves him. To woo him with compliments and declarations. He also really likes kissing.

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them.

"You know..." Fenris began in a low whisper, "The DuLancets have already introduced you. You could take me home at any time."

Julian shook his head, "I'd like to, but we have to be seen here for a while. It makes the circle mages look good when I come out in support."

Fenris sighed, siding away, "I suppose I could wait. I will watch as you are passed around by the nobility."

Julian smiled, "It won't be so bad, Fenris."

Fenris smiled over the rim of his wine glass, "It will be quite enjoyable for me. To watch you glad hand with them knowing that I am here. Knowing what I am imagining. I suppose you might be uncomfortable. I'll be savoring it."

Julian's smile was gone now, his face red, "And what are you imagining?" His voice cracked.

Fenris shrugged, "I am imagining taking you upstairs for a moment. Showing my... appreciation for the Champion of Kirkwall. That is what this celebration is about, is it not?"

He looked up at Julian's face from under his lashes, then deliberately let his gaze trail over the rest of him. All of him. So much of him, dressed up in finery and velvet that Fenris wanted to tear away.

"Fenris, you can't just say stuff like that! Someone's going to hear."

Fenris couldn't care less. He couldn't help but smile, "My mouth could be occupied with something else."

Julian swallowed, "I mean... Technically we wouldn't be leaving the party. I could-"

But a well-wisher was approaching, offering a glass of wine and an introduction to some other noble. Fenris smirked, leaning back against a wall, content to watch Hawke as he made a flustered circuit of Kirkwall's noble houses.

31. What do they love to do after sex?

Sleep, usually. Although if they're still wide awake, they might choose to go another round, or to spend some time reading to each other. Hawke loves to cuddle, but Fenris gets uncomfortable and antsy if they're just cuddling, so usually they read a book together or talk.

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex?

Yes. Although Fenris would argue that Hawke is infrequently awake in time for morning sex. Hawke insists that morning sex is sex that happens when he wakes up, not sex that happens before 11AM.

[eppysboys]

I really hate May for selling the bullshit idea that the lost weekend was a good thing for John. He was killing himself with booze and drugs that year. His name was dragged on the mud after being kicked out of the Troubadour and the Beverly Hills Hotel for unruly behavior. Have people actually listened to Walls and Bridges? That's the music a man who wants to kill himself makes, don't let the cheery saxophone fool you. You know it's bad when Paul went out of his way to send him back to Yoko.

Do people really believe John would be happy and able to control his worst instincts living with a doormat? He could've stayed with Cynthia then, at least she wasn't on his payroll.

I wish John had a better alternative but in the end, Yoko was the only person in the world who could save him from himself. I mean, Paul technically could but he wouldn't. He made his choice back in 1969. It's just really unfortunate someone else didn't came along.

Hi anon, I don’t think it’s quite fair to file 18 months as purely negative or purely positive either. That period of time contained...so much. He definitely spiralled out of control and indulged in things he shouldn’t have and he was depressed and disillusioned and scared. There were also really wonderful things that happened during that period as well, which I make a brief list of in one of the previous answers. 

I really hate May for selling the bullshit idea that the lost weekend was a good thing for John. There’s a wide range of opinions of how the women in the Beatles’ lives should/shouldn’t approach telling their story. I think May’s case is slightly unique in the sense that John spent the months/years after his time with her telling blatant lies about his time with her. Go onto a variety of beatles forums or comment sections discussing the ‘long weekend’ and you’ll find the general consensus seems to be along the lines of ‘yeah he missed yoko and used may to pass the time, it was good that he bonded with julian but it’s obvious he needed his soulmate yoko’. Beyond that, do you really think May has significantly reshaped the story into one of John being happy and healthy for that time? Everyone calls it ‘the lost weekend’ because that’s what they think it is, because John said so. I don’t really think she’s selling that idea anyway? She is frank about how fucked up John was, but she also makes a point that that wasn’t all there was to it. And that’s fair. The people around them noticed it too, it’s not like she’s lying. If you’re mad she got money at all by telling her side of the story, that’s another thing entirely. 

That's the music a man who wants to kill himself makes, don't let the cheery saxophone fool you. I’ve said there’s a definitely warmth and vibrancy to it that his other albums did not have, and I stand by that. But....I’m not stupid. I know it’s not all cheery. We all know literally a beloved John Lennon trope is tortured lamenting self-reflective lyrics often set to an upbeat or lively melody. Again, who is saying it was a 100% happy time for him, or that John was ‘healed’? There is plenty of evidence that he was making steps in the right direction - Independence, self-sufficiency and taking responsibility were all steps in the right direction. That’s not worth nothing. 

Yoko was the only person in the world who could save him from himself. Yikes! No! It should not have been her responsibility and it’s totally unfair to put that all on her! Being ‘saved’ by someone is not what John needed, it’s not realistic either. In most cases of severe mental health problems and trauma, it takes a village and it takes /you/ to make things better. Handing over all control and responsibility to someone does not help. Plain and simple. It wasn’t going to come from just Yoko or just Paul or just May. 

He made his choice in 1969. Um? Ok? And if that choice wasn’t working out he was perfectly within his rights to move on. He didn’t want to because he felt safer the way things were, he wanted someone to take care of him, to mother/father/be a God for him. 

I don’t understand why the enthusiasm for things like......a great album and John growing the fuck up and building a relationship with his son amongst other things is somehow offensive. And it’s a bit bold to assume that people responding cheerfully to the positive aspects of that time are totally ignorant of the negatives. 

And by the way, May was not a doormat. She was a young woman thrown into absolute chaos who actually did manage to get John Lennon to do a few things he was scared/initially unwilling to do. That’s not the main point, but I just think it’s silly and borderline offensive to just label her as weak because she couldn’t ‘win’ against her millionaire older bosses. She’s not a perfect angel woman and I don’t idolise her or pit her against Yoko, because once again, these are people, not pawns in a game to get John Lennon to be a functioning person.

tl;dr: stream walls and bridges! 🥰

[blahallic]

I have to start a new memo because the other one is too long and the app keeps freezing. Well it's as though Marci and Marci fucking get at me and it seems like i'd probably have gone back to my kingdom if I had the choice. I wish I would have thought about egyptians being outside of themselves and shit. It really does fucking suck that it's this way. I waited for ya. I waited for ya. But now I don't. You didn't see it. I didn't see it. I didn't see it but now I do. I'll play your game. I'll play your game. No.

Get on your horse and be gone. I will not wait up for you anymore so you can ask me if something is wrong.

I remember being 17 and how I started being bi. Like, that shit was so fucking confusing to me. I did not want to like boys. When he comes out it's not a surprise. When he finds out the truths on his side.

Evil grounds. No, but i'm already there. Every night. What the hell happens when you arrive? I kind of dig this not having a job bullshit and just sleeping all I fucking want. It's such a good thing that the place I was working shut down like my Mustang. I wasn't into it at all. I can kinda be into working at Cheddars. Like, it's something to fucking do because i'm making money. I could deal with working at that place. Being in the lower dimensions and all. I guess I have to get used to having roommates and what not. It's just like a living room and a kitchen with 4 rooms. I just keep to myself really. It's like ratchet to me. I dunno. Sucks that i'm here for the next year. I'll be fine though. I'm glad my phone isn't freezing anymore. Close the door, not all the way. We don't understand, we don't understand. So don't you want to remind me, I don't know a thing. Can I stand in your light just for a while? Watching you. Watson you. Emma is like the cutest girl there ever was. Same with Luna. I have always loved Emma. I should have known that liking someone that much kinda means you can see them. I had it out for her for the longest time. She was always around when my cancer first started. I would talk and sing to her a bunch. Can I stand in your light just for a while? Watson you. Watson you. I miss my BMW. I wish I could have figured out how to keep it and have driven to dad's car in it. Dunno how that would work or how I would have had the capacity to find the place. Probabaly not. I would have to just find myself there. I was just sitting upstairs on the computer or whatever. As far as I remember. Emma was in a black dress on my dashboard. It was quite appropriate. Like, it matched dad and his appearance. It showed up in my hood too. I remember eating McDonalds and paddle shifting or whatever. That only happened once. I wonder how much Cole was into his paddles. I remember there being a blk too. And finding all that cash and a pair of Bans was also sweet. I was like asking people for gas when my glovebox had cash in it the whole time. Kinda weird.

Decide my past. Define my life. Don't ask questions cause I don't know why. I really don't get all of this fucking trouble bullshit. It doesn't really make any sense. It has me wanting my sun like desperately. I could use that and shit. Like, a lot. Even though it's not permenant. God this fucking sucks. I want to be able to chill with pyri on with my fucking people. I can't stand any of them though so no thanks. And to top it off I might not like pyramids? Because I lost a folds contest. Whatever that fucking means. I wish black and orange had my back. I mean, they were kinda at my funeral. I don't get how you notice a ring in my hair but not that I needed a sun. You were kinda a strange string too. Like, your string was strange. You looked strange and that's just what I fucking got from that shit. I wanted you making out with your friend and you failed to notice that too. I wish I would have had the capacity to just tell you or your leader that I need dad's car back and that someone needs to harp airport. So Julian was Todd and I get off on that like a lot. Juliet was Todd's girl.

Alice was fucking spout when she was about for me with Taylor. Shutter making is where it's at to me. I hope I feel like this until I catch some shuteye. I want to beat Ocorana Of Time in Cara's apartment. Again, this blows. It's just that if it's generalized and if people fucking talk and get with it then I want some attention from someone. Like to actually talk to someone about what is going on would help me out a lot. I still don't understand much of this. Playing ellipsis machine over Sonny Moore would be crazy too. Is Nik crazy? Yeaaahhh. Terror shadows. The barrier between who I am and who I want to be. Note to self, I miss you terribly. This is what we call a tradgedy. Come back to, come back to me, to me. And i'm sick of this scene. I need a break from you tank. I can feel my mind wandering again. And to where I don't know. Will I ever get home. Two roads, split up from here. And my life goes running. Who I am and who I want to be. Hurts blood. I feel so close and yet i'm yet so far. Hurts blood. I feel so close, and yet i'm yet so far!

I miss BMW days. Like having cash, dressing fucking nice and having a cool watch and a grip of jewel. I liked my box of cds. That car was quick too. I outran a cop on accident. Nothing I would ever be capable of doing on purpose. Just a coincidence I guess. What I thought was a certainty. Has left me. Spinning in circles again. It seems to me that you're not happy. Like you used to be. And now there's more green eggs and you'll never ever go away. And now there's more green eggs and you'll never ever go away. Is buried by my rusty eye and I can't see. No I can't breathe.

So I wonder why my dad doesn't see that i'm someone that gets married. I would never choose to be single here. That's why this fucking sucks. Like, hard. Wish I could just jump back to my dimension change. Never and not even really something to think about. I wonder what shorts is up to. And I wonder how The Curry Campbell is. Tut and I discussed The Curry Campbell. This paper into fire. Into fire. Into this fire. Yeah! This paper, into fire. And throw me with it, just throw me with it. I wish I could go to the club. Last time I was there I almost spent $100. I wanna dance with a girl. I remember a girl that was my sister in cancer world gave me a beaded bracelet that said dance. I kept it for some time. I had it with me when I took off in dad's car. I wanted to see Tyler too. Cole said he smoked him out with some fire. What a meet that could have been. Weaving The Values.

Sailing alone around the room. With no direction to go. Sailing alone around the room. Sailing alone around the room! I am not sex here. And I guess I can get off some on that simple fact. I don't like that Lesley up and yelled at my ass. Not your fucking place bitch. Why'd you fucking apologize? You didn't bleed on my shirt fuck. I wouldn't have really slept with you unless it was Hallowed either. Anyway...I should have fought for sorry ass boyfriend Lesley.

My phone is rather close to dying. It's kind of a piece of shit. Like a picchan boy would say. I'm glad that that kid had my back like he did. Dunno. That really means a lot to me. And I guess I wish I had had the dimension to answer your question Ciara. It didn't work that way though and it's no reason to put someone off. Especially after what those people got at me with. Sorry, but that shit wouldn't have done anything. Too fucking evil. I guess you can choke on it. Or whatever. The whole friend bit with Nolan. I don't understand what that was. Like, cancer or something. Who knows what that was. I know I don't. With no direction to go. So keep me alive. So keep me alive.

I wonder what else there is. Cancer pyri and whatnot. I like my parking garage mask. And I liked gaining ounce with Kyle turned on by mask. I also like that Sam caught me a worm. And I really liked her kisses. I remember kissing you and stuff. And taking you into a garage with a car parked in it for us to have our way with eachother. I need out of all of this. That'd be fucking crazy. I wish my phone wasn't gay. I want a One. And fucking torrent. I need a Playstation Plus account so that I can COD myself. I miss Madi. I want to see you. You dig Halloween like I do. I wonder if we ate food together. Probably not. I doubt I ordered your ass a pizza. Wonder how I even got your number. I mean Cara wouldn't really have given it to me. I wonder if there was a squirtle in Cara's apartment. Like in 2D or something. And I wonder what Pokemon I would have chosen for my rearview mirror. I wish I knew. I mean if there was a Squirtle that's probably what I would have got. There wouldn't have been sunglasses though and this i'm sure of. I want a Pocket Monster card collection like Cole. He had decks to play the Pokemon Trading Card game with Cara. There's an astral of that and shit. There's another one of me proposing and of us getting married. It's weird that you would have only liked me half as much as all of the other girls until marraige. Kinda goes with your brat bit. And how you were into that shit. A remour. Like, cutting underneath heed is not something to do to me. It just doesn't make any sense. Like, at all. Kind of puts me up to what everyone else is doing. Bleeding here. I guess just one cut is what i'm into right now. I need a fucking COD habit. Like, a lot. Rather fucking badly. That's kind of a gash below my wrist. I'm kind of writing while bleeding. What kind of an asshole drives a lotus anyway? I used to call out at every Audi I ever saw a lotus. I remember those days. Comedown Machine sure has been out for a while. I'll be born again. Eli's on the phone. He cheats his clone. You'll never believe me until you're on your own.

I can dig that I picked up an ice habit. It really is something to do to me. I like it, just not a lot. I want my pyri shut down. This is stupid. I feel like if an egyptian were to time travel. Like just a joe or something. That they would get with everyone else and disregard my ass as their king and what not. Whatever. That's not really a cool thing to realize and such. Marci isn't around anymore. She took off. Scardy cat. Again, whatever. So it's cool that humans bring back dinosaurs. And it's strange how a meteor took them out when humans were about back then. It's kinda hard to believe that it was a meteor and such for some reason. It's also neat that i'm stamped with Gemini. It's cool that Emma would have noticed. And how it would have been something that doesn't exist yet with it still being tattooed on my wrist. Cara would have noticed the snake in my hair. I wish I still had my dreads. I liked that look. It seemed that there wasn't anything else to do with it. I guess i'll deal with just having long hair. Like in the picture that's in Cara's soul. Whatever. A head shave is also kinda below this bullshit. I don't know how I was supposed to meet Cara and Ezra like that. Or how I was to fucking part with my hair gone either. I have a pair of Oakley's from the last car that I stole. I kinda like them and stuff. They're a bit neat. I'm like off my icee but it's still a bit linger. That was like Curry and I's song. Linger, that is. Harlequin is such the place to miss. Like, a lot. It's cool that there's just a field, a plane, and a fold. And that that's what took me to airplane mode. I wish someone would have helped my ass out with that shit. Even before I was arrested. I mean, I needed a sun. I needed a way out of town. Even though I thought I was to marry Ciara already. Can't really believe that's what I was doing. Doesn't really make a terrible amount of sense. Backup plan unsuccess. Unfortunately. This blows some more. Yes, if you insist. Okay. A doorbell. Tonight. Might need a lawyer. Next up the oldies, where there's a forest, we don't belong. It's going to be strange being sex and finding out how I was born here. I'm sure it's not going to be that great for me. I mean, I get that i'm into loosing twice. And because i'm into it, I don't want my mind changing. So I hope it doesn't.

I wish I could play Partners In Crime with Island Girl. Maybe with my BMW instead of the Mazda. And maybe I could give her the first issue spidy com. Like, as a gift of sorts for us wanting to hold hands per deum. I love you Alice. If only we could have found dad's car together. And maybe we could have just married eachother instead of me playing Harlequin. Like, a Mustang with you and an apartment. That would be cool. I'd have a legal BMW to drive around too. If we could just fuck off in El Paso all the time. Like, going out to eat and maybe clubs. Or whatever else there is to do? Miniature golf? I would definitely be up for Partners In Crime Island Girl. And to me, we should have seen one another. You would have loved me Alice. Like, a lot and stuff. I mean, it's kind of crazy how much you and every other girl would have liked me. I like adore you girl.