#but it wasn't till i was in my 5th grade that i watched it

[sonotkari]

It Was You

Kang Haerin x Fem Reader

Sequel of 『 Gaeguri 』

※ Recommend reading the previous one if you haven't

[ Synopsis ]

Y/n, Y/n, Y/n. Always on Kang Haerin's mind. She can't help but always wonder about you and the small things you do.

Fluff, Angst (a bit?) | Haerin's backstory

[ Word Count ]

2.9k

[ a/n ]

I wasn't planning on doing a sequel of Gaeguri but my birthday just came and I wanted to do something special(?) and my mind was minding at the moment, imaginations flooding so I knew I had to make one!!

ps. My bday was like a week ago lmao

Happy 17th to me! Yay <3

Haerin was never the social type and every person who met her understood that more than they understood their everyday lectures at school. But the word "never" might be too overstating. 

The quiet girl who would peirce her gaze and flee away like the wind before you had noticed, used to laugh wholeheartedly while chasing her friends whenever they'd go to a nearby park and decide to play tag out of nowhere. She might've not been a radiating sunshine every time everywhere like little Mo Dani, but there wasn't a doubt that she was the next thing close to that. But even the so-called "sunshine girl" Danielle doesn't know this side of hers since Haerin had completely shut it down years ago. 

The first day of 6th grade, the 6th time moving to another new place. It wasn't really helped when Haerin's dad's company assigned him to new places almost every year which he could've moved on his own but Haerin's mom insisted that "family should stick together" 

So there she was from one place to another, almost every new school year it was always new faces. New faces that she felt like never getting used to. Determined at the first few times they moved, Haerin would do her best and open up to people, wanting to make new friends and have fun memories like she used to back at her original home place. But as it became the 4th and 5th, she began to wonder, what was the purpose of making friends when they'd soon become a past, a distant memory to her anyway? Haerin stopped trying, letting people come and go, not minding who would stay with her. Socializing was a lost cause is what Haerin had learned living her life and she stuck to it till high school. 

Meeting Danielle was one of the most interesting things Haerin had experienced in a long time after she had shut down her natural beaming side. She was used to people leaving her. It was either they got bored of the girl for being quiet most of the time or they were dubious of her. Because most of the others would at least speak even if they were introverted but Haerin would just be silent, never starting a conversation, not uttering a word unless she had to. So when Danielle stayed by her side despite the girl not talking at all, she felt something strange stir up inside her. Haerins parents had reassured her that as soon as she had started high school, they would stop moving around, which the girl wished could've happened sooner but it was a thing that she had no control over, so she just nodded and accepted the situation in silence.

Haerin was walking her way to the gym for her usual basketball practice. But then she saw someone familiar from the sidelines, watching the other members practice with eager eyes, locked on each player moving in the court. It was none other than Y/n L/n. She knew Y/n's existence since way back because Danielle would casually bring the girl up during their conversations. Dani didn't even have to bring her up for Haerin to know because Y/n was well-known by the whole school. Her cheery personality and kind heart had already made her the heartthrob of the campus except, Y/n herself was a bit dense to realize that fact. How Danielle had portrayed her as "the sweetest soul on earth" and how the people around her smiled when they were with her, proved that Y/n indeed was an amazing person inside and out. And Haerin might or might not have thought of wanting to try and talk with her, just a tiny bit. But she could never admit nor say that out loud because somewhere deep down Haerin was still indecisive about opening up to people. 

So Haerin was surprised when she was yapping about a particular crochet frog key holder and its origins to the Y/n L/n without realizing it. Not even a hi or hello but about a goddamn Banded Bullfrog. Unexpectedly, hearing Y/n's response made Haerin's eyes go wide. She knew about frogs because she had actually listened to Mr. Min's lecture when everyone was either sleeping it off or paying attention anywhere but in class. Half taken aback half astonished, Haerin's curiosity for Y/n had perked up making her continue their conversations without an awkward moment which was another new thing to Haerin because all she remembers is her former classmates from years ago stuttering being all awkward not knowing how to communicate with her. 

Y/n's image had strongly imprinted on the girl's mind as she couldn't stop taking a glance towards the girl sitting on the bench. What if she suddenly leaves? Why was she even here in the first place? Y/n was a member of the school council and usually, they'd be busy pondering and staying in the council office for hours. Well, that really didn't mind as long as Haerin would find a way to see her again. She wanted to see the girl and talk to her again. Haerin didn't know how to describe it in words, but there was a feeling there that stirred up inside her. Sadly the girl had student council matters tomorrow which meant she couldn't come to their basketball practice and this might be the last time Haerin was going to see her. Mulling it over her mind Haerin had to quickly think of some way to interact with Y/n again. But before she could utter a word, the girl left the gym along with her other Aussie friend Pham Hanni.

2 hours. The basketball player who just finished practice, who was tired as hell debated on whether she should wait for 2 whole hours, and the answer was yes. Did she even have to think about it? Haerin didn't know how she could wait for someone after a whole tiring day but if she did know one thing, she could never wait for tomorrow to give the green crocheted frog she had a pair of to Y/n. Why she wanted to give it to her? Simple. So they could be friends. Haerin pondered on her thoughts the whole night. How do you actually make a friend? Heck, it's been years since she tried to make movements and she wasn't going to just casually go to Y/n and ask her "Will you be my friend?" like the 7-year-old Kang Haerin used to say with a cheeky smile on her face on a random kid at a park years ago. But she also couldn't ask anyone, even Danielle because the girl was busy with her cheer practice for their upcoming game, and even if Dani did make time for her, Haerin was too embarrassed to ask someone on "How to make friends" at the age of 17. 

So the last thing that came to mind was the key holder they talked about hours ago. She had two so it totally wasn't a bother to give one to Y/n. And they'd match meaning that they're close, or going to be close... right? Haerin did not know a single bit about how this system works and it started to worry her, even frustrating her. She just wants to become close with Y/n, knowing her better and giving a crocheted frog didn't seem to be a perfect answer but at least it's something more than nothing... right? 

Yes, it was definitely right. 

Haerin had thought so, seeing the girl's big bright smile towards her as she thanked her for the frog. Wouldn't you call it a total win when you also get her number and get to walk with her home, yapping about the things you loved? For Haerin, it was like winning the lottery, and an hour of hard-core club practice plus 2 whole hours of waiting while daydreaming was totally worth it. 

"Sweetest soul on earth" is more like the sweetest in the whole galaxy. Looking at the small brown not so bad crocheted frog key holder Y/n just gave Haerin earlier, the girl couldn't help but smile again for the millionth time. She took the time and did something she had never done before just because Y/n knew how the girl loved frogs and how Haerin had messed up the color of yarn she used for her two-pair crocheted frog. What's happening? Haerin satisfiedly huffed and returned to her practice, with a smile on her face which the other members couldn't help but gawk or smirk at. "She's such a simp" The captain of the women's basketball team Shin Ryujin mumbled while shaking her head slightly with a chuckle, and beside her was The captain of Cheerleading Jang Wonyoung who had seen the whole interaction, smiling as she cooed "Awwh" watching the scenery happen in front of her like a rom-com. 

Months had passed since the interaction at the gym and all Haerin could think about was Y/n. It's not like she didn't constantly think about her before, she did, it's just that thinking about her became a habit now. Looking at a pretty flower, she'd think about Y/n, the moon glowing beautifully at night would make her want to snap a pic and send it to Y/n telling her "It reminded me of you" Suddenly every song she listened to, Y/n would casually linger on her mind like she was finding her in every lyric she heard. All those romance movies Haerin binge-watched with Danielle had become her favorite when she used to think of them as tacky, never expecting to grow fond of them after some time. Almost everything Haerin did, somehow Y/n's curved lips and slightly squinted eyes making that warm smile that Haerin adored the most would just come to the girl's mind before she could even notice. 

"You're in love with her Haerin-ah" Danielle stated with a tone like it was the most obvious thing ever alongside a childish giggle, looking at the girl in front of her confused to hell about what she was talking about. "In love...? You mean like those movies we watched where the two will―" "Kiss? Yes, Haerin-ah that's what I'm talking about" Suddenly it felt like Haerin's mind stopped working for a flashing second causing the girl to freeze at the spot which made Danielle giggle more. "But I never thought of kissing Y/n" Not until now. Feeling her cheeks become warm, a fading shade of crimson red had tinted its way. But how could Haerin know that? Her mind was occupied. "Well, love comes in different types so it's not like everything is about those movies" Haerin snapped off from whatever she was thinking and shifted her gaze back at Danielle who was eating her carrots as they spoke. "From hearing what you've described Y/n right now―" Danielle ponders a bit while munching her veggie sticks. "Even if it wasn't like those we watched, one thing for sure is you have feelings for her" What the Aussie girl had just said made Haerin think. "How can you tell that? What if it was actually platonic?"  "You seriously did not just say that when you blushed when I mentioned the kiss, Kang Haerin" Danielle chuckled, looking at the once again red-faced girl in front of her with a 'That's what I thought' look as she continued to munch her veggie sticks. 

Being straightforward with things was something Haerin was good at. Danielle had even pointed out that it was her talent, with her piercing gaze, monotone voice, and blank expression blurting things out. But today, or at least for now, Haerin had wondered where her so-called "talent" went when she needed it, mostly to cover up how she was lowkey panicking inside with her heart in a beating mess. Yesterday after talking with Danielle, the girl had made a plan. A simple plan which is asking Y/n how she feels about Haerin. If it's close to what Haerin was feeling, then "100% sure she likes you back" Danielle's voice rang through her mind as she took a glimpse of Y/n who was walking by her side, talking about something Haerin couldn't take a grasp of because her mind was full of how to bring up the conversation she had been thinking since last night. 

"You seem lost in your thoughts" Y/n broke out a soft chuckle seeing Haerin startle a bit on her suddenly peeking at the girl's face. "Sorry, I was dazing off..." Humming a response Y/n faced front again as they continued to walk. "Wanna share it with the rest of the class?" "Stop, you sounded like Mrs. Choi right now" After sharing some moments of laughter, a comfortable silence flowed between them with both girls lingering their gazes on each other. "... I have something to ask..." Fidgeting her fingers a bit, Haerin nervously faced Y/n. Sure the girl might be a bit dense here and there but Y/n wasn't that dense to not pick up the tension that flowed between them. "Yeah?" Stopping her tracks, Y/n responded lightheartedly maybe trying to ease the tension, or maybe trying to ease her heart which was a beating mess as well. "Well, I wanted to know—" Haerin silently cursed herself for hearing her voice crack up a bit. She didn't like any of this. Feeling like her heart would bust out of her chest any moment, her palms feeling sweaty because of the nerves perking up, her mind spinning millions of questions of doubt, and her voice felt like it was stuck in her throat, not being her usual self but still wanting an answer as if it depended on her life or something. This was the moment and there was no way of going back. So suck it up and just ask her was the last thing the girl had thought in mind before finally making up her mind as she groaned, repeating her words, this time with a more firm and clear tone. "I wanted to know how you feel about me" 

"How I... feel about you?" "Yeah—" Haerin fidgeted with her hands for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's just... I don't know. I guess I've just been thinking about how I... feel about you" Haerin muttered, her voice barely above a whisper. "I like being with you, Y/n. Time really flies when I spend time with you and, when I'm not with you all I think about is you and- I... I kind of miss you a lot at those times..." Speaking bit by bit, her voice quivered slightly as words came out, each reflecting the emotions she had been keeping all this time. Then she remembered the first conversation you both made on that day at the gym and couldn't help but tug a small smile on her lips. "You taught me how to open up again when I thought I couldn't" Haerin then focused her gaze at Y/n, without it wavering a single bit. "I like it when I'm around you and I never want that to change. I care about you. More than I want to admit." Haerin still couldn't believe she was actually admitting her feelings out loud, but the words had already spilled before she could stop herself. "What I'm trying to say is— I have feelings for you Y/n. And I was wondering if you felt the same..." Haerin awkwardly chuckles, avoiding your gaze as she looks down fidgeting her hands once again before she mutters softly. "I want you to feel the same..." 

No one's ever totally confident about confessing and Haerin wasn't an exception. What if she blurted out the wrong thing and messed things up? What if it was all just Haerin feeling this way and it's actually platonic for her? Endless fears, worries, and questions swirling through Haerin's mind. But that all wiped off when she felt Y/n holding her hand and gently squeezing it which made Haerin fix her gaze back at the girl to see her eyes softly droop in adoration. "Is it a good timing to say that I also feel the same about you?" The relief Haerin had felt from that one sentence was incomparable to any other. Everything was going on so well it was almost scary like this could be some dream she was dreaming and the fear of waking up to a lonely reality was crepting up. But this was all real and Haerin knew that well when she felt the warmness and the floral-fruity scent of Y/n as she embraced her, tightening her grip on the girl's waist as they lingered on the wholehearted moment, both wanting nothing more than just to stay like this forever. Pulling out from the hug along with some soft giggles and laughs, Haerin fixed her gaze on the girl and they met once again. The distance between them was closing without even realizing it, the sudden urge to just lean in and—

Huh? The nose??

Why did I kiss her there??

Meeting each other's eyes again with both confused and surprised expressions, Y/n burst out laughing while Haerin looked down with the heat rising to her face, flushing in a shade of red as she groaned in embarrassment. 

"Sorry, I don't know what I was doing- I just- ugh" Stammering with her words, Haerin let out a sigh while Y/n giggled softly, holding her hand and squeezing it tightly one last time before looking at her with the same gaze full of adoration. "It's okay... let's take things on our own pace, hm?" Walking side by side with hands intertwined, the couple chattered lively on their way home. 

Haerin wasn't much of a social type. Not until she found the one she wanted to share her smiles and laughter along with her favorite frog trivia. 

been a while since I wrote something long

[empressofthesunwriter]

Demeter Somerset and the Ancient Magic

Long before Harry Potter stepped into the halls of Hogwarts another young witch fought against Dark Forces.

Her name was Demeter Somerset and this is her story.

Yeah, I can't stop making new stories, it's a sickness. But I just can't concrete long enough to finish one story, I get writer's block. T.T

So have the first chapter of my Hogwarts Legacy Self-Insert/Character story!

Cheers!

One

(*)

Demeter Somerset had been a normal girl...well as good as normal when your mother was a real-life witch.

Thanks to her Mom Demeter knows quite a bit about the Wizarding World.

She read the Daily Prophet, like the London Times.

Enjoyed walks in Diagon Alley, as in Piccadilly Circus

Chocolate Frogs were no strangers to chocolate bars.

Yes, Demeter had a good grip on both the worlds she belonged to thanks to her parents.

But she admitted, the brunette girl always wanted to go to Hogwart, like her mom, and study to become a full-fledged witch.

Sadly her 11 birthday came and went and no letter from Hogwart arrived.

She was a Squib it seemed.

Her muggle father tried to console her the best he could, she could still be part of the magic world thanks to her mom and mom's side of the family, like he was.

Her witch mother had been sad like her and both had hugged each other tight.

Demeter felt like a broken toy.

Why her?

Why does she have to be a Squib?

In muggle London you didn't count much as a woman, but in the Wizarding World, she could have been anything!

Life was so unfair.

Years passed and slowly Demeter accepted her status as a squib.

It's not like it would change from one day to another.

Till it did.

(*)

Full of excitement and happiness Demeter watched her mentor, Professor Fig, packing their carriage which would bring them to Hogwarts.

When a few days before her 15th birthday her Hogwarts letter arrived, the whole Somerset family cried.

It was unheard of to go to Hogwarts at such a mature age, however Demeter didn't care!

She didn't care!

She was a witch and would learn at Hogwarts!

She wasn't a squib but a Half-Blood.

Maybe there was a God, who took pity on her and made her awake her magic powers.

Anyway since she was really far behind in Hogwarts curriculum the Ministry of Magic as the board of Hogwarts Professors made her meet Profoessor Fig who had taught her over the summer basic spells.

The wand was not hers, yet it had been amazing to do magic!

It was a thrill Demeter never wanted to miss again.

And now on the 1st of September, she would finally step into Hogwarts.

Wicked!

(*)

Okay, so she didn't have imagined her first day at Hogwarts if you even can call that like this.

Seeing strange traces of Magic, the Dragon Attack, then Gringotts, the Vision in the Pensive and also Ranrok?!

Yeah, no, totally crazy.

At least she managed to get sorted into a house.

Hufflepuff.

Just like her favourite Aunt Peony!

The common room was exactly as her aunt had told her.

So warm, and comfy, in golden hues and pretty plants everywhere.

Demeter felt right at home already.

The girls she shared her bedroom with seemed nice enough.

As she fell asleep in her bed, she hoped she would make a lot of friends in her House.

(*)

The next day, was her real First Day at Hogwarts.

After she talked with some of her fellow 5th-grade Huffelpuffs, Poppy, one of the girls she shared her bedroom with, told her how Professor Weasly was waiting for her.

Demeter already licked the Deputy Headmistress, way more than their Headmaster Black who had banned Quidditch this year.

She had wanted to try out for Quidditch.

Bugger!

Anyway, Professor Weasly gave her a magical special book to help her with her studies.

So she had to wave Revelio at anything that could be interesting and would learn more about Hogwarts and the Wizarding World.

It was really cool.

After Professor Weasly showed her how the Floo Flames worked, Demeter talked a bit with Professor Fig.

He had found something in the medallion from Gringotts and would tell her when he knew more.

For the time being, she should concentrate on school.

So Demter had her frist lesson.

Charms by Professor Rohen.

A black girl from Gryffindor whose name was Natsai Onai waved her over to her table.

Glady Demeter took place beside her and they chatted a bit.

Natsai or Natty was a nice girl.

The Charm Lesson with Professor Rohen was amazing.

Not only did learn Demeter Accio, no they even played Summoner Court on the school grounds.

Somehow Demeter managed to beat Natty and got her House points.

As the hour was nearly over she chatted more with Natty and learned about Uagado and how her new friend could actually do magic without a wand!

Wow!

Then Professor Rohen called Demeter over explaining to her how to catch up on her classmates her professors would give her special assignments.

Well, she could only nod and then made her way to her next lesson.

(*)

Defence against the Dark Arts had been a favourite subject of her mother, so Demeter was curious how it would go.

When she stepped into the classroom she saw a Gryffindor boy and...and a really good-looking boy from Slytherin having a match.

The Slytherin boy had a devilish handsome smile as he fought against the Gryffindor.

Demeter felt herself getting warm and a blush formed on her cheeks.

Oh no, she wouldn't start to crush on someone just because they were hot.

She came here to study, not to have a romance!

The brunette was brought back from her inner tumults, when Professor Hecat arrived, saving the Gryffindor from getting crushed by a huge dragon skull.

Then Demeter learned a new spell Levioso, which she should now use against the handsome Slytherin boy?

Okay, God was cruel!

"Time for a proper Hogwarts welcome.", said the Slytherin boy to her.

Demeter bit her lip and got ready for the Duell.

He may be hot, however, she would show him how good she was already!

And indeed she showed him.

She won!

"Not bad for a beginner.", told her Slytherin boy. "You give as good as you get."

She just smiled in thanks, as he walked past her.

Oh, her heart was beating so fast and not only from the duel.

After Prefosser Hecat talked to her, and then dismissed class, Demeter walked with shaking knees over to the Slytherin boy.

Finally, she knows his name.

Sebastian Sallow.

They talked and...maybe it was wishful thinking but Demeter had a feeling Sebastian was flirting with her.

He invited her to the secret Dueling Club in the school and when he told her how he would meet her somewhere unsanctioned...that tone and that look...oh god take her now!

Maybe it was only in her head, but okay she was gone.

She was already so gone.

Aunt Peony was right about Hufflepuff and Slytherin: they formally flocked to each other.

The best example was her aunt herself, whose husband Uncle Desmond had been Slytherin too.

And her mom, a proud Gryffindor had warned her to not lose her heart to a Slytherin.

Yeah, when she wrote her letter home, she would only tell her Aunt Peony what was going on.

She surely could help her, determined if Sebastian was really flirting or if it was just his way of talking.

Whatever it may be, Demeter had a feeling her school year would be really interesting.

Really, really interesting.

[yanderelovlies]

To give you a short while to relax, let me tell you a story on how I got into the deep deep deep rabbit hole of fucked up romantic fiction 😀

So I loved to read story books when I was around 4-5th grade. I was good with my english for a country that doesn't speak it much (philippines) and joined several writing and reading contests and spelling bees.

But all the books I read with thin and colorful and had pictures, I wanted something large and thick(lmao) and tons of complicated words to practice with. And my grandma at the time had her own little library in her house and she would give me access on tons of books, she didn't say anything about me reading murder mysteries and horror genres... But what intrigued me, was this one book.

I forgot what the title was but it had a mature warning in it with sexual and horror themes. I was so fucking innoncent at that time cause i didnt know what the word sexual meant and at this age my mind could visualize shit better than other kids *cough* maladaptive daydreaming *cough*

The plotline was about a female detective in the 1950s and when solving for a case she always senses someone was following her and thinks it was the suspect of the crime she was trying to find answers to. It wasn't the suspect unfortunately, but a stalker who yanks his meat whenever he hears the detectives voice on the radio.

And OH MY GOD. Something horrible sparked in me. It was two things, one, gay awakening cause the detective was a total girlboss, and second, my obsession with problematic men. I couldnt understand the hanky panky scenes BUT THE WHISPERING AND THE TENSION BETWEEN THESE TWO OUTSIDE THE HANKY PANKY MY GOD

I read that for two years until I discovered yanderes, otome sims, fanfiction.net, wattpad and ao3 but durring those years i had forgotten about the book's title.

And i wanted to find it but unfortunately grandma passed away due to old age in 2020 and her house was in a custody battle between my dad and aunt because grandma never put who would inherit the house in her will. Just divided some fortune between children and grandchildren.

It was also in the will that I would get all of her books (and her amoire that I used to play dress up in and various handbags which was very slay because she had taste 💅) but it wasnt all of the books.

I knew because she had more than two boxes worth of it. She had a bigger collection than any of her friends and coworkers back in the 1960s, her mini library was filled to the brim with books, not a shelf with a single crevice,but all I recieved were 57 books. Her murder mysteries and erotic novels but I never found the one that got me into the rabbit hole..

And the end. Hope you enjoyed :) tell me if you want a vague description of the book cause I read most of it and some lines definately be fic material 👀

Sincerely- Murder Mystery (MM) Anon, a follower since your first work

First off, I love how your grandma nutured your love for reading. My mom did the same for awhile until I had books like fucking everywhere in my room. Though I find a little odd, she would let you read a book like that 👀 or maybe she didn't know, and that's why you didn't get it as an adult?? I kinda wanna know now lol

Also, I didn't get into creepy stuff till I was in my teens (I'm calling myself out and saying creepypasta oop). Like legit when I was younger, my mom put on 1968 Night of the Living Dead movie on me and my brothers request claiming "we were old enough." I stayed up all night that night watching outside my widow cause I knew for SURE zombies were gonna rise at any moment. I also could not listen to any metal music....I was a very scared kid....

I didn't get into erotic literature until I was sixteen or so. I can't think of an incident that stands out because, really, I didn't know anything and just read basic shit. If it had extra tags of kinks and shit I didn't read it.

I thought I would share a bit of myself since you were nice enough to share about yourself, but I would like to hear about this book! Maybe it will give me some inspiration 💕

Oh! And that last bit about your being around since my first fic astounds (in a good way!) me but makes me happy. Thank you, love 💕💕💕

[hooned]

Hi jelly!!! Hope you're well 💛 19, 34 and 67 for the ask game -sarawatilism

aamna!! hello there my love!! 💙 i am, i am!! i just finished eating (a vvv late) dinner so my stomach is full and well, a full jelly is a happy jelly yey 🥰!!

19. Favorite old film?

here goes my 'forgets all the films i've watched once someone asked me what my favorite film is' syndrome again ahhh!! 😭 but ok,, uhm what's on top of my head right now is a filipino film "Got To Believe In Magic" released in 2002. so it's a romance movie about a woman who's a huuuge fan of weddings but is always the bridesmaid in every wedding she's been to and a photographer who is always always there to capture her most embarassing moments. the girl has an old belief in her family where every maiden who reaches age 25 without getting married won't get married for life so little sissy is anxious and in NEED OF HER HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! luckily, mister photographer is a social butterfly who basically knows everyone and so he promises to help her find her better half ONLY IF she agrees to pose for him for a magazine he really needs to get into. YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT HIHIHI. it's so nice watching them both fall in love with each other so slowly, yet surely. it's such a beautiful movie!! imagine miss hopeless romantic always in search for true love meets mister weddings are hoax and true love is a myth. AND THEY FALL IN LOVE!!! ahh. and i love how bright the girl's personality is in the movie!!! (ok i blabbed too much but i really reaaally love that movie!!!)

34. Who makes you happy?

WIN METAWIN!!! BYUN BAEKHYUN!!! aka my sunshines and my two rays of light. 🥺💙 (i won't answer my family or my friends bec. that's already a given hihihi)

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?

hmm i mostly just distract myself whenever i'm sad. oh oh oh i watch running man!! it's been my go-to lift my spirits up show since forever. 💙

+ sweetheart asks ❄️

[angelsvoice1love]

Secrets well kept (pt 1)

You stood next to Bong-Soon, watching the two men argue about her safety and whether or not she should stay or go.

Kook-Doo: I'm not letting her stay here alone, with you. He said, standing firm and strong.

Just before Min-Hyuk could say anything to Kook-Doo, you got up from your seat on the couch as you spoke.

Y/n: I'm staying too. You said, with a bright smile, trying to lighten the mood.

Bong-Soon: Huh?

You made eye contact with Min-Hyuk, as he nodded understanding what you were trying to do. Motioning you over, you stood next to him tall and confident as you looked up to Kook-Doo.

Kook-Doo: Fine. But look after them both. Their woman, and they can't take care of themselves.

At those words you farrowed your eyebrows together, as you took a step closer. Hands on your hips, you pointed at yourself as you let out a sigh.

Y/n: I'll have you know Kook-Doo...that I am the best Taikwando fighter voted by the woman's fighting magazine. I won 6 gold metals, 3 silvers metals, while winning 20 fights and loosing only 3. So...you tell me if I'm weak or not. Oh, and my father is Captain Lee in the army and my mother is Lieutenant Lee of the Police force.

Kook-Doo: I...i had no idea who's daughter-

Y/n: That doesn't matter. You should never judge a book by its cover. You replied, as you walked off leaving everyone confused.

After a while there was a knock on the guest bedroom. The person came in to reveal Min-Hyuk, with some sweatpants, a shirt and hoodie.

Min-Hyuk: Here. This should be better, than sleeping in a dress. He said as he placed the clothes on the bed beside you.

Y/n: Min-Hyuk.

Min-Hyuk: Yes.

Y/n: Do...do you think I'm weak? You questioned, as you look at the floor.

Min-Hyuk: You weak? Never. He said, as he sat next to you. I know your a Strang woman. Maybe not like Bong-Soon, but your strong. I remember that time in 4th grade, where you punched that kid for hurting me. Giving a 5th grader a blue eye, was pretty amazing...and you were such a small and skinny kid. You protected me that day, and you have ever since. You've even been there for me through everything. I can't say the same for me though. Min-Hyuk said, as he looked down at his hands that laid on his lap.

Y/n: What? Min-Hyuk, you've always protected.

Min-Hyuk: How?

Y/n: You protected me, and you've been there for me too. You said, as you took his hand in yours. You came running when someone broke into my house, and I hid in the closet until they were gone and you insisted I stayed with you until I could find another place to stay. Or the time when you almost went into a frantic state, when I was in a car crash and you freaked out hugging me close like you almost lost me...just by a few cuts and bruses. You replied, looking deep into his eyes.

Min-Hyuk: You remembered that?

Y/n: Yes. I even remember the first day of kindergarten. The day I met you. You said, smiling. I was sitting at the playground, everyone was eating outside or playing and I was all alone. And out of nowhere you came, handing me a banana flavored milk...introducing yourself as you sat next to me. And you said-

Min-Hyuk: From this day on, we shall be friends forever. He finished, as he gave a half smile. I remember...and it's the best desision that I've ever made.

Y/n: Me too.

Min-Hyuk got up, as he walked to the door.

Min-Hyuk: Get some sleep.

Nodding you waited till the room was empty before getting dressed, after that you jumped in the bed turning off the lights as you closed your eyes. Sleep taking over your body, your dream taking over your mind as you fell into a nightmare.

Nightmare

You were Bing chased in the woods, someone was after you. Breathing heavily, you hid behind a big tree thinking of something to do, or how you'd handle the situation.

Picking up a big branch, you moved out from the tree to see the man but he wasn't alone. The man had Min-Hyuk, by the throat tied up as he laughed manically. You shivered to see your friend in that position, your eyes filled with tears as you heard him scream.

Min-Hyuk: RUN! was all you heard him scream, before he was killed by the man.

Y/n: NOOO!

End of nightmare

Y/n: NOO! you screamed, breathing heavily as you sat up looking around in the room.

The door burt open to reveal Min-Hyuk, staring at you eyes wide as he ran closer.

Min-Hyuk: Are you okay?

Y/n: I...You...you were...killed...h...he...k...killed you. You said, through sobs as you looked at Min-Hyuk.

Min-Hyuk: Y/n-

Y/n: N...no...you...he-

Min-Hyuk: Y/n. He said, calmly making you look into his eyes. I'm right here. He spoke, as he moved closer placing a kiss on your head before you threw your arms around his neck crying in the crowk of his neck.

Y/n: P...please don't leave me. Stay...please. You asked, as you wiped your tears as you pulled away.

Min-Hyuk: Okay. I'll stay. He said, pushing you to the left side of the bed as he got in next to you.

Min-Hyuk held his arm open for you to lay on his chest, as he held you with both arms tightly. You were still shaking in his arms, but was slowly starting to calm down. Min-Hyuk, moved his left hand to sooth your head, as he whispered sweet nothings to calm you down.

After a while he looked down to see if you were asleep, but to his dismay you were wide awake.

Min-Hyuk: Y/n?

Y/n: I can't sleep. I'm too scared to close my eyes...what if I see everything again? I-

Min-Hyuk leaned down as he captured your lips with his. His soft lips, gently pressed against yours as he rubbed his thumb over your cheekbone. Pulling away slowly, you blinked as you traced his lower lip with your thumb before you pecked his lips before pulling away again.

Min-Hyuk smiled as he pulled you towards him, kissing you again as he kissed you, you felt like butterflies were everywhere inside you. You wanted this, you've been wanting this for ages and now it's happening.

Min-Hyuk moved his position, as he hovered over you having a better angle at kissing you. You pushed his up while kissing him, allowing you both to sit as you pulled back for air.

Y/n: Min...are you sure you want to-

Min-Hyuk: I'm sure. He replied, as he kissed you. Your one hand moved to the nap of his neck, as the other tangled in his hair. His hands were on either side of your face, as he deepened the kiss. Min-Hyuk, stopped kissing you as you both looked at each other.

Y/n: Min?

Min-Hyuk: If we keep kissing, I don't think I can stop myself...i won't be able to control myself and what I might do.

Y/n: Min, I-

Min-Hyuk: You should get some rest. I promise I won't leave you, I'll stay by your side the whole night. He spoke, as he got in the bed laying down motioning for you to lay beside him.

Laying down, Min-Hyuk threw his arm around you as he spooned you from behind kissing your neck.

Min-Hyuk: I'll be here the entire time. He assured, pulling you closer if that was even possible.

Y/n: Min. You...you won't tell anyone about this will you? About the nightmare?

Min-Hyuk: Why would I? I can keep secrets.

[bandomgay]

My brain to yours pt.1 b.u

Tw: blood,gore,self harm,violence,hallucinations,slight mention of an ed

Au: hey babes this is gonna be my 5th time trying to post this and i want death so bad...however if there is any confusing things or typos or things seem to quickly paced im sorry thats just my brain babey! Enjoy...i guess

Word count: 1,894

It all started when he was about 6 years old, he never spoke ever,not that he couldn't he just wouldn't, his parents were worried about his development,however nothing was ‘wrong', he had a quite developed thinking process for a child, but it wasn't a good one for his age nor was it a normal one,no child should be so terrified of talking to people and being thought lesser of as his voice shook violently while trying to say the easiest of sentences.

he understood people to early into his young life ,he got the memo that everything was too stupid and too hard to understand so he gave up . his mother took him back and forth to hospitals and child psychologists ,his mother scared for what was to come of him could this weirdness she didn't even have a name or diagnosis for develop into something more as he grew? She thought, would he be normal? Would he be like the other children who laughed and giggled at the littlest of things? Would he be happy like them? She had decided to push her concerns into the back of head deciding that maybe he was just awkward it's okay to not fit in hes a fucking 6 year old boy maybe it's not that deep.

he was now in the 3rd grade now and teachers became more and more loud and responsive with their problems, he thought maybe whatever bad stuff they had going on at home they just needed to vent threw aggressiveness and shaking hands and restless mornings,but however it was their screams he didn't care for, he looked them in the eye wondering what he had done wrong, however he didn't care enough to continually think about it, but he realized slowly that couldn't feel anything like the red faced teacher did, he’d envy the poor mannered teachers feelings if he could, just how they could get so angry and fed up with kids who were disgusting and vile and how he never felt that…... he never felt anything at all .Now he was in the 5th grade he had to repeat the 4th grade due to staggeringly low grades and his failed attempts at homework he never seemed to have remembered. Things were getting hard to remember, so hard to remember what the teacher had said in the classroom that seemed to fade away after he was picked up by his mom and the sheer silence of the drive home and his mothers sneaking looks into the mirror with furrowed eyebrows at her son who never told her how his day went.

In school it was just so easy just to drift off in the land of dark swirls and dark worlds filled with make believe that he couldn't separate from the real world that never seemed to go away and darkness he felt comfort in his head till he heard nothing but the disgusting laugh of a teacher who had looked as if she wanted to deck him in the face ( he imagined about 3 different scenarios of how that actually could have occured, he held back a giggle and a sly smirk) as she snapped her wrinkled hands in his face “earth to brendon” he heard the aged feminine voice laced with anger repeat twice but he had failed to tune into the first reminder he was too dissociated to notice, he came too but didn't understand her reasonings of not just leaving him alone and let him rot and break free and he soon heard the fits of laughter coming from children he knew he was too weak to stop.

he wanted to do terrible things to everyone in that very room including himself, a dark desire he couldn't contain from his mind but he never followed through with these type of thoughts. he could never seemed control them he thought of them like messages being sent from an unknown source in the back of his head that had an invisible connection to someone he could see but nobody else could he dared himself if he could just pull at the cord in his head he wouldn't have those those thoughts, the figure never showed up in the same form it could be the shadows of dirty rain water coming from outside showing like a projection on the dingy beat up wall rising above him to claim a mental dominance , or the rotten stain of mold on the bathroom floor that now seemed to have a charming glow yet secretive smile or the bag of dirty clothes that sat high up on its rounded edges now smiled at him and watched him threw the night .

now it was the 7th grade and things had went to shit,it was already shit but it had gotten no better, fits of depression had left him wanting to call a hitman on himself and letting himself be cut open so all the organs in his body to be shot out of him or rip his jaw and everything behind it out of his body but he was too fatigued to think about it anymore his brain seemed to have stopped working back in the 6th grade, he could never think clearly a heavy fog on his brain he could never do much for himself he found the most simple of things he couldn't do, he couldn't pay attention, he felt dizzy at random times becoming feverish and not thinking about why because he couldn't think he thought process lessen and lessened with every passing day until all there were was thoughts of gore and death,sadness and the never ending thought of killing anyone or anything that had managed to make him want death even more.

he just continued to fade in and out of reality staring into the wall for to long or unknowingly staring at the couple of people who he thought was calling him pathetic and worthless with the contradictory voice telling him he's so much better than the disgusting people he saw and that they didn't deserve to smile they don't deserve happiness even though they’d never even spoken a word to him, they were never mean to him. he started pinching,stabbing,pulling at his hair,clawing at himself hard trying to see if he could care that he'd just hurt himself he continued to hurt himself hoping somewhere in the back of his mind he start to feel things, to show him he's real everyone sees him, but his inner self knew what he was doing he wasn't just trying to see if he was a real person he was punishing himself because he couldn't do what the rest of the real kids could do he couldnt plop himeself in a hard metal chair and take a test without thinking about what a disgusting person he was, without hearing them say he wasn't shit that his brain is mush that he couldn't understand the easy directions how he could get so angry and mad without hesitation how he could imagine killing his parents im cold blood… he stomped on his own foot,why is he thinking about this why is he thinking about this why, they creeped back up on him showing him images of his brother and sisters dead and gutted his parents choking on blood and vomit pale and dying, he hated himself for thinking these things,but if it was possible for him to be completely honest with himself he didn't care if they had died or not he just didn't have the ability to care.

He couldn't look people in the face without seeing these images of grewling faces pushed together in piles of pink and red flesh crawling into each others organs which looked rotten and distorted, why was he seeing this things these disgusting things these things… he wouldn't admit to himself that everytime he looked in the mirror he tried not to vomit he tried to hard, he bashed in the mirror bloodlying his hand, his hiss echoing in the empty bathroom he couldn't go to the nurse he couldn't look her in the eye and see her like that, besides he was on the first floor and he was too weak to go all the way to the fourth floor he knew he would pass out, he felt something pooling in his stomach it was anxiety he felt the cramping in his stomach and the salivating in his dry mouth, he vomited into the sink, he hasn't eaten anything in about 3 weeks so the pain of dry heaving for almost half in hour into the sink made him dizzy and ultimately pass out. he had now awoken to bright lights that made him nauseous and whimper, he was in the hospital again. he tried so hard not look the nurses and doctors in the eye and seeing horrific images in his mind of them dead, rotten maggot filled and bloody be he regained his ability to see the normally after a while.

“Brendon honey…” his mommy's voice was there “mommy...hi mommy” he said in a broken whisper. She had realized he never calls her mommy unless something's wrong he wasn't aware that he was, he turned to the right finding an iv carefully placed into in scarily pale arm “honey...they found you in the bathroom your hand was cut up...you where passed out what...t?” she silenced herself for a moment seconds later starting up again. “They found you in the bathroom..the mirror was broken and your hand was cut pretty deep and passed out” he mouth trembled a bit, she moved his sweaty bangs out of his forehead, he felt wetness on his skin his own uniform shirt clinging to his skin he was sweating.

He didn't feel real he didn't respond properly to what she had said he only looked away.. And said “dizzy….everything hurts…” he was so surprised he felt something but if feeling was like this he didn't want it. “I d..don't wanna feel like this..can you make it stop mommy please?!” Nani was absolutely terrified she'd never been so scared for her little boy, “its gonna be okay,sweetie...i swear..to god i swear…” in this moment if she was honest she didn't believe there was a god, no god would do this to her son, she turned around after hearing the door and hard footsteps.

“Hello ms. Urie im dr. Yakima, i will be assisting and diagnosing your son” she nodded softly wanting her son to be okay. “Hey son,open your eyes for me,i'm here to help” brendon heard a much more distorted version of what the doctor had said than nani did, but then again he was fading in and out. He handed her pills and said firmly “these are anti-nausea and pain killers i'm gonna give these to him and he will feel much much better i promise..” He was right it with his cocked up eyebrow and charming smile that sparkled with calmness and reassurance that worked its way into nani. the medication  worked but not instantly. “Sit up honey..” She said softly, he followed what she said slowly with a wrecked groan and intense muscle pain however there was no rush.

[the-invisible-queer]

I started watching Women of the Movement. I've only watched the first two episodes but I have been sobbing since the second half of the first episode.

The murder of Emmett Till has stuck with me since I first learned about him in 5th grade. Because I was a kid and I could not wrap my head around adults murdering a kid only a few years older than me.

The summer after 7th grade my school took a trip to Georgia and Alabama.

We went to several black history and Civil Rights museums.

At one of those museums we watched a short film about the lynchings and they showed us real photos of victims. It was the first time I had seen the death photo of Emmett Till.

I wasn't even 14 yet. I must have been 12 or 13 on that trip.

And now as an adult I have such a different point of view.

He was a baby. A child. Fourteen years old. Wasn't even in high school yet.

I wondered if the show being an ABC shoe was going to actually show what was done to him.

And they did.