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the7thcrow · 4 years ago

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indulgence | part two

pairing: felix x (fem) vampire!reader

summary: an indulgence grows to become dangerous, as the society of hampden college takes note of y/n’s new blood bag.

series masterlist.

word count: 5.8 k

genre: forbidden love. angst, extreme fluff, suggestive.

warnings: blood, suggestive content (sex is discussed but not described), strong language, alcohol and vampires ofc.

rating: 16+

a/n: hi everyone! thank you to anyone who read part one, and liked it enough to continue with part two hehe. the plot really picks up here, and i’m quite excited about it. once again, i love hearing feedback, so don’t be shy in leaving me an ask or message :)

previous chapter.

...

You were careful. In the beginning, at least. For the first few weeks of carrying your secret, you only met Felix after hours, and only at your home. You’d leave at different times, and you both never spoke a word of what you were doing to anyone.

It was a safe play. A smart one. But as time went on you became sloppy. It started on the day Felix’s roommates would be gone for the entire weekend.

You were both lying in your bed, the rainy Sunday morning having trickled by in a lazy, melancholic fashion. These were your favourite days, the ones in which he’d arrive just before dawn and leave near dusk.

You’d gotten used to his presence around your apartment, his absence painfully noticeable during the days you found yourself cooped up there alone. You liked when he was there, even when you weren’t talking, lounging on the couch in silence with your feet intertwined as you caught up on your required reading. Or when sometimes he’d cook for you, baking you sweets as you were stressed out over a paper that’s due date was much closer than you’d realized. Him simply being around granted you comfort, a sense of companionship, something you hadn’t felt for a long time.

You couldn’t deny that Felix Lee had nestled himself into your life, and you’d be a liar to say you weren’t enjoying it. Being with him made you love the creature you were, seeing the way your feeding affected him, the way it set the two of you on fire. Forgetting for a moment how restrictive your life truly was, how exhausting and lonely it often happened to be.

Looking back, perhaps that was the entire problem itself. That wasn’t something you should so easily forget, no matter how tempting it may be.

“Come on,” Felix whined, tracing shapes along the bare of your back with his finger. “They won’t be there all weekend, it won’t be any different then when we’re here.”

He was trying to convince you to come spend the following weekend at his apartment, as his roommates were leaving on a ski trip and wouldn’t be back until Monday morning.

“Well, if it won’t be any different then why should we bother risking it?” You returned. In truth, you really did want to go spend time at his place. It felt like the next step in your relationship, however strange and complicated it may be. You weren’t sure if “relationship” was even the right term for whatever you two were, but you didn’t want to overthink things too much. For now, all you wanted was to enjoy this while it lasted, as deep down you knew it couldn’t be forever.

“Because,” he mumbled, rolling you over to face him. This wasn’t going to help your willpower, you’d come to find you just couldn’t say no to those dark, curious eyes. “I feel like I’ve really gotten to know you these last few weeks. I mean, I’ve seen your life. Your room, your book and record collections, what you keep stocked in your refrigerator. I guess I just want to share my space with you too.”

You groaned, shifting downwards to bury your face in his chest. “Well that’s not fair. How am I supposed to say no to that?”

“Exactly, you can’t,” he laughed.

“You’re the worst.”

“I know. Sorry.”

You sighed. “Fine. I’ll head over Friday night then.”

“See, I knew you’d come around,” he smiled, his voice light with enthusiasm. However, you couldn’t ignore the weight of anxiousness bubbling in your chest. You looked up at Felix, and you knew that he could see it written on your face.

“Don’t worry,” he said softly, methodically running his fingers through your hair, something he’d learned would help calm you down whenever you were stressed. “I’ll make it worth your time.”

~~~~

Felix did, in fact, make it worth your time. When you arrived at his doorstep the following weekend, you were surprised to find the door unlocked. Carefully, you twisted the knob, peeking inside.

It was safe to say you were surprised.

The apartment was entirely candlelit, the smell of rose scented candles mixing with that of whatever Felix was presently cooking in the kitchen. The table was done up in a way that reminded you of a cheesy Italian restaurant, with a checkered red tablecloth, two glasses for wine, and a rose stationed in the middle.

Felix emerged from the kitchen, a wide, toothy grin on his face. He was wearing an apron, patterned with an alarming amount of cartoon kittens, over what appeared to be a rather expensive suit.

“I feel like I’m underdressed,” you stated, unable to mask the pure awe in your voice. Nobody, not even Chan, had done anything like this for you. Not to mention the fact that you and Felix weren’t even dating…

Were you? This seemed like an awful lot of effort to put in for someone you were only hooking up with.

“Nah, you look great. Don’t worry about it,” Felix said. “Now if you don’t mind, I’ll take your jacket Mademoiselle.”

You laughed, taking off your overcoat and handing it to him. “That’s French. I thought you were going for Italian,” you joked, attempting to hide the warmth flooding to your cheeks.

“Shhh,” he said, setting your jacket down on the couch before putting his hands on your shoulders. “Just let me have this one. Okay?”

“Okay,” you said quietly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. You felt oddly shy, surrounded by such a scene.

“Well if you’ll take a seat, I can show you what I’ve been making in the kitchen,” he said, moving towards the table and pulling out the chair. You complied, sitting down and shifting your focus to the wonderful smell wafting in from the kitchen.

Felix disappeared before appearing with two plates, setting one down in front of you. “Shrimp Scampi,” he clarified. You glanced up at him and you could tell he was slightly nervous. Knowing Felix, he was probably worried you wouldn’t like it.

How someone could possibly not appreciate all of this, was entirely beyond you.

You decided to reassure him. “It looks amazing, Felix. All of this,” you said, gesturing to the room around you. “This is incredible. I can’t believe you did this, it's so… unbelievably sweet.”

“Well,” he said shyly, removing the apron and setting it down on the kitchen counter. “I knew you were worried about coming over here. So, I guess I just wanted to make it the best I could. Less terrifying and more something you’d really enjoy. You know?”

If your cheeks weren’t red before, they certainly were now. It took everything in you not to lean over the table and kiss him right then and there.

He grabbed a bottle of wine from the liquor cabinet behind him, pouring the liquid into your glass. “White wine?” You questioned with a smirk. “I thought you would have gone with red.”

He chuckled, beginning to fill his own. “I thought about it, but it felt a little too cliche. Besides,” he said, corking the bottle and setting it back down on the table. “White goes better with seafood.”

You picked up your glass, taking a small sip. “Pinot grigio?”

He raised his eyebrows, smirking. “A bit of a wine connoisseur, are we?”

You laughed. “Something like that.”

Truth be told, you weren’t. Frankly, you’d always much preferred scotch. However, Chan was big on wine. From the two years you’d spent together, you’d managed to pick up a thing or two.

The rest of the dinner passed smoothly. The food was delicious, the wine smooth, the conversation breezy. You’d calmed down from the initial shock of it all, and had settled back into the comfortable atmosphere you and Felix had developed over the past few weeks.

After you’d both finished your meals, he rose to his feet, setting your plates down on the kitchen counter before disappearing around the corner, into the living room. You were wondering if you should follow him, when suddenly classical music started to fill your ears.

You rose to your feet, peering around the corner to see Felix stationed beside a record player. He smiled, before extending a hand out towards you. “Come on, dance with me.”

“You sure are cheesy today, huh?” You laughed, taking his hand anyway. You laid your head against his chest, the two of you swaying gently, a sorry attempt at a Waltz.

The music from the record filled the room, the notes dancing along with the two of you, a symphony of affection. You quickly recognized the piece as The Four Seasons.

“Vivaldi is my favourite composer,” you mumbled into his chest.

“I know, you told me a while ago,” he spoke quietly.

“Ah,” you said, smiling to yourself over the fact he remembered. “I’m surprised you have a record of him, I know you aren’t the classical type.”

“You’re right, I’m not,” he laughed. “It’s actually one of my roommates.”

“I see. What are they like?” Even with all the time you’d spent together, you and Felix had never talked about the people in your personal lives.

“Hmm,” Felix hummed. Although he didn’t say anything, you could tell he was happy that you asked. That you were slowly breaking the barrier you’d put around yourself.

“Well, Han- that’s whose record this is- he’s... well he’s loud, but I think you’d really like him. He’s studying music theory, wants to be something of a composer himself. He’s a bit messy, but if you harp on him enough he’ll keep his shit clean.”

“He sounds nice,” you offered kindly. “What about your other one?”

“Ah, yeah. Changbin. His name is Changbin,” Felix said, but you could tell there was something off about his tone.

“What about him?”

“He’s… he’s going through a lot right now. But normally he’s the coolest. He’s also in music theory, so he and Han help eachother out a lot. He’s the type to bring you food when you’ve been working on a paper all day, because he knows you’ve forgotten to eat. Always there for you, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” you said. Talking about Changbin seemed to make Felix nervous, based on the way he wouldn’t meet your eye and the apprehension in his voice. You could bet it had to do with whatever Changbin was going through at the moment, but despite your curiousness you decided to drop it. It wasn’t any of your business.

The two of you swayed in silence for a few moments. There was nothing left to say on the matter.

“You know,” you said suddenly. “You said you wanted to show me your space, but I still haven’t seen your bedroom.”

Felix smirked. “Ah, I guess you haven’t. Why, you impatient for something?”

You laughed, looking up at him. “Get your head out of the gutter, Lix. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mhm. Yeah, sure you don’t,” he returned, taking your hand and leading you down the hallway to your left. He stopped, turning to open a door that was currently covered in a rather elaborate arrangement of animal stickers. You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Oh right, the stickers,” Felix said, smacking his forehead with his palm. “Han thought it would be funny, but now I can’t get them off.”

You smiled. Felix was right, you and Han would probably get along.

The inside of Felix's room was oddly exactly how you had imagined it. Books were stacked neatly on the desk in the corner, ranging from academic texts to various manga. Posters hung on the walls, representing different music artists, some you recognized and others you did not. He had a nintendo switch tossed on his night stand, and plants hanging in the window. The room, while packed, was clean and well in order. An organized sort of chaos.

You laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. You felt the mattress sink slightly as he laid beside you.

“Do you like it?” He whispered.

“I do. It’s very you.”

He hummed in acknowledgment, rolling onto his side to face you. His fingers wandered in the air for a moment, before finding themselves placed against your cheek. Gently he stroked his thumb back and forth along your jawbone.

You smiled, leaning into his touch, placing your own hand in his hair. “I feel like dessert,” you stated.

Felix’s cheeks warmed. “I made brownies,” he mumbled, his gaze deepening. “But something tells me that’s not what you have in mind.”

~~~

It was not what you had in mind, and you’d gone far beyond merely explaining that to Felix. The two of you were tangled together beneath his sheets, his head resting on your chest. The room was dark, preventing you from seeing the details of his face, only the shadows and the curve of his jaw visible in the moonlight.

“Felix?” You whispered, wondering if he was awake.

“Mmm?” He mumbled, clearly only half-conscious.

“You know I can’t give you more than this, right? We’ll always have to sneak around, keep us a secret. It’ll never be easy.”

“I know.”

“And you’re really okay with that?”

He reached for your hand, allowing your fingers to intertwine. “If it means I have you, I’ll manage.”

A moment of silence passed by, as you were unsure of what to say, but something inside of you stirred. Something deep and warm, coming back to life.

“Y/N?” He asked suddenly, breaking the quiet.

“Yeah?”

“Do I have you?”

“Of course, Lix,” you smiled, finally allowing your eyes to close, putting your mind to rest. “I’m all yours.”

~~~~

The following morning you awoke to the sound of rain pattering against the window, Felix still sleeping soundly against your chest. Carefully, you moved his head to the pillow, sliding out from under him and emerging into the hallway.

The apartment felt eerily quiet. You never found yourself in an unfamiliar place in the mornings, and the urge to evacuate and run back to your apartment was more tempting than you would’ve liked to admit. You wouldn’t, of course. Felix had put in the effort to make you feel comfortable, to feel at home. You would honour that, no matter how slightly terrifying it might be.

You wandered into the kitchen, noticing a container full of brownies set on the counter. You smiled, those were supposed to be eaten yesterday, before, well…

You opened the package taking a bite of the sweet, before spitting it out in shock.

The apartment door swung open wildly, a boy with brown hair and chubby cheeks storming inside, a thick cast around his wrist. He threw his backpack onto the couch, letting the ski’s he was carrying clatter against the wall.

“Felix, you will not believe how bad the hill was. There was hardly even any snow, and the amount of rocks? It was like they wanted me to break my arm! Believe me, you made the right call opting out, it was not worth the drive-”

The boy stopped, his eyes bulging as he finally realized you were in the room. His silence made you quickly realize that you were only sporting one of Felix’s shirts, and while it covered you fine, it told an obvious tale.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Hi!” He said, his mind finally catching up on the situation.

Alright, this was it. Clearly you and Felix weren’t a secret anymore, at least not with his roommates. Now you had to decide how you were going to play this out. Your mind was buzzing. You knew this was a bad idea. You knew this was dangerous. You fucked up. It was over for you. You were screwed.

Attempting to settle your racing mind, you decided to make an effort at being friendly for now.

“Hi,” you smiled, moving behind the kitchen table to cover your legs. “I’m assuming you’re Han?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?” He laughed.

“Felix mentioned you were a tad… charismatic.”

Han chuckled. “Did he now? I’ll have to pay him back for that. I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch your name-”

Felix burst out of the hallway, his hair a disheveled mess and shirt only half buttoned. “Han! You’re back early!”

He looked at you, and while you wanted to be furious at him, planned to make him regret getting you to come here, the look of guilt in his eyes stopped you before you could even begin. It were as if the words “I’m Sorry” were branded to his forehead, his features solemn with remorse.

“We have to get out of here,” you thought. “We have to talk about this, figure out what the hell to do.”

“Wait, what did you do to your arm?” Felix asked, just noticing the thick cast.

“Ah,” Han said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck with his good arm. “I wiped out. Like I said, the hill was bad. Not enough snow and too much ice. I slid into a rock and, well… Doctor said I have to keep this on for the next 5 weeks, which blows, obviously,” he motioned to the cast, shrugging his shoulder helplessly.

Before you could get a word in, he continued. “Oh, have you guys eaten yet? Changbin’s just grabbing-”

Felix quickly cut him off. “We were actually just about to go get something to eat.”

Han raised an eyebrow, glancing from Felix, who looked like he just stumbled out of a 2 year coma, to yourself, who was certainly in no position to walk out the door. “You were?”

“Yeah!” You exclaimed, perhaps a little too loudly. “I’m just going to, uh, get changed, and then we’ll be out of your hair,” you said, rushing past them and into Felix’s bedroom.

You shut the door behind you, leaning up against the frame before taking a deep breath. Okay, you could do this. You’d make a quick exit, then you and Felix could sort out what to do next. Maybe he could tell them you were just a hookup. But would that look too suspicious? Did they notice he’d been sneaking out almost every night? If they did that would only cause more problems.

God, this was a fucking mess. You shouldn’t have come, you shouldn’t have come, you shouldn't have come-

“Y/N?” Felix called, knocking on the door. “Are you almost ready?”

“Y-yeah!” You called back, cringing at the waver in your voice. You had to get yourself together. You threw on your jeans from the following day, tucking in Felix’s button up and bounded towards the door.

“Alright, I’m ready,” you said, bouncing back into the living room. However, you were surprised to be greeted by someone new. The boy was standing beside Felix and Han, whispering in a rushed, as well as undeniably angry tone.

More surprising yet, and perhaps unsettling as well, he was glaring at you. No, glaring wasn’t the right word. His eyes screamed bloody murder, his jaw locked, entire body was rigid with a stiffness only produced by vile distaste. It was that look of hatred, that familiar spiteful glaze, which immediately made you recognize him.

“I’ve seen you at the library before,” you stated, taking note of how his eyes widened slightly at the sound of your voice.

The boy cleared his throat. “I don’t think so,” he stated, which was an obvious lie. He’d visited the library several times during the dead of the night, always with that same angry, loathsome stare. You’d always found it unsettling, and always left soon after he arrived, even if you still had work to do.

“Yes, you-” you began, but Felix quickly cut you off.

“Sorry, Changbin. We were just leaving, I’ll catch you guys later.” He said, taking your arm and quickly ushering you out the entry. You saw Han attempt to call out in protest, but Felix quickly shut the door behind him, blocking whatever it was he had to say.

You turned to Felix. “What the hell was that?”

“What, I figured you’d want to get out of there?” He shrugged, not meeting your eye as he walked ahead of you, making his way down the complex stairs.

You scowled, chasing after him. “Not that, why was Changbin - or whatever his name is - staring at me like that?”

“That’s just the way Changbin has been lately,” Felix said, although you couldn’t shake the feeling there was something more to it. Pulling your arm away, you pushed passed him. If Felix was going to be so frustrating, there was no way you were going to be the one trailing him like a puppy.

“Well, I know for a fact he’s seen me at the library, so why would he lie about that?” You continued, opening the main doors and storming onto the street.

Felix jogged after you. “I don’t know?” He shot back, his voice sharp. “Maybe he just forgot?”

You scoffed, turning a corner onto the main walking path, heading off campus and towards your own apartment. You needed to sort this out, and the last thing you needed was to cause a scene in the middle of a busy street.

“Whatever,” you grumbled, still keeping yourself a few steps ahead. “We’ll figure it out when we get back to my place.”

“It’s the middle of the day, I thought that was against your precious rules,” he sniped. You knew he was just angry, blowing off steam, but the jab hurt. He was fully aware that you hated the way things were, the way things had to be. It was a low blow, and it only made your annoyance spike.

“Fine, Lix. You don’t have to come, go back home so you don’t have to be a burden to my ‘precious rules.’”

“Shit, no. Wait, Y/N!” He babbled, running to put himself in front of you. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, I didn’t mean that. Please, let’s figure this out. I want to, seriously.”

You stared at him for a moment, before walking past him, a sigh trailing from your lips. “Fine, come on.”

He let out a relieved breath before catching up, placing himself at your side.

“We need to determine what the hell we’re going to tell your roommates,” you start. “Because as of now, we’ve gotten ourselves into a load of shit-”

You didn’t see the man in front of you as you collided into his chest, falling to the ground, rubbing your nose from the immediate shock of pain.

“Woah, I’m sorry! I didn’t see you there,” the voice said, and your entire body froze. You knew that voice. You knew that voice well. It was a voice you hadn’t heard in months, the voice of the worst possible person you could stumble into at the moment.

“Hold on, Y/N?” Chan asked. You looked up to meet his gaze, petrified by the familiar look of pain in his eyes. The same hurt from the last time you saw him, or in better terms, left him.

“Hey, Chan,” you replied, your voice coming out more shaky than you wanted it to. Chan extended a hand, lifting you to your feet. “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah,” he laughed quietly, scratching the back of his neck. “It sure has.”

Then, to your complete and utter despair, his gaze shifted to Felix. It was alarming, how quickly his gaze hardened, the way any sense of past affection drifted from his eyes. “Who’s this?” He asked, his voice cold.

“That’s Felix. He’s uh, from class, we got assigned for a partner project. We have to explain how without divine intervention, the events in The Iliad may have transpired differently,” you said. If you were going to lie, you had to at least try to make it sound believable.

“Ah, I see,” Chan said, an edge to his voice. “Where are you guys heading?”

“Just a cafe,” you replied, keeping your voice level.

“Off campus?” He asked, his eyes narrowing, you felt your heart leap into your throat.

“Yeah,” Felix answered without missing a beat. “Figured it would be less busy, you know?”

“Hm,” Chan said, before giving the boy a smile. To Felix, it probably seemed nice, but you knew Chan. Which meant you also knew there wasn’t an ounce of genuine kindness in that expression.

“Alright, well I’ll let you guys get to it then,” he shook Felix’s hand, his grip slightly too firm. “It was nice meeting you.”

He took a step to make his exit, and for a moment you thought you’d gotten away with it. You thought that somehow, you’d manage to evade this inevitable disaster. Foolish.

Chan stopped beside you, putting a hand on your shoulder. Turning to Felix, he smiled, his eyes glinting. “And hey, you might want to fix your collar.”

Felix’s eyebrows furrowed, a confused expression on his face as he adjusted the collar of his button-up. That’s when you noticed it. The bite marks just peeked out, visibly fresh from the following night.

Chan leaned in, his breath warm against your neck, lips brushing your ear. Your body froze, heart stopping at his words.

“You’ve got his scent all over you.”

~~~~

You and Felix spent the next few hours deciding your best course of action. In a matter of a day, your entire arrangement had been flipped on its head.

The first issue revolved around Felix’s roommates, the biggest worry being what exactly he was going to tell them. After much thought, as well as a bit of arguing, you decided to have Felix say that the two of you were casually seeing each other. This way, they shouldn’t get suspicious that there was more going on, but they also wouldn’t expect to necessarily see you around their apartment either.

There was still risk in it - of course, there always was - as there was the remaining fear that one of them might mention the two of you to the wrong person, and you’d be doomed. As much as having this as a risk pained you, there wasn’t much you could do about it, at least for the moment. For now, you had to trust that if Felix told them to keep it a secret, they would.

This was difficult, as you truthfully didn’t have faith in either of them. Han seemed nice, of course. But it was clear he liked to talk, and it wouldn’t be shocking if something managed to slip from his lips.

Changbin... Well, he seemed to hate you, for whatever reason that might be. You tried to talk to Felix about this, but he simply brushed it off, blaming it on whatever Changbin happened to be going through at the moment. Begrudgingly, you decided to drop it, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t store the worry in the back of your mind. Keep a watchful eye out.

The bigger problem was Chan. He knew. He knew everything. The feeding, the fucking. That Felix was something more than just an acquaintance. He could single-handedly unravel your relationship, all it would take was a quick chat with The Council, and you would be ruined. There would be nothing you could do to stop them. You didn’t know what The Council would do to you, but you knew at the very least they would force you to end your arrangement with Felix.

You wanted to believe that Chan wouldn’t do that. You really did, but you knew that might not be the case. If he saw telling The Council as a way of protecting you, to keep you away from humans that could be out to hurt you, or use you, there was no doubt in your mind that that’s exactly what he would do.

For now, all you could do was wait, and keep as low of a profile as you possibly could at the moment. It was for this purpose that you said the following words:

“I think we need to distance ourselves from each other, for at least a little while,” you said to Felix. He currently was sitting on your couch, elbows resting on his knees, head buried in his hands.

Slowly, he glanced up at you. He looked tired. “Do we have to?” He asked, his voice flooded with defeat. The last few hours hadn't been easy. There were sacrifices to make, ones that neither of you wanted to adhere to. But this was not as simple as what you did and didn’t want.

“Yeah,” you sighed, dropping down on the couch beside him, resting your head on his shoulder. “We have to. I think we could have dealt with your roommates, but Chan is a far bigger issue.”

Felix frowned, and you knew exactly how he felt.

This sucked.

Over the past month, you’d really come to like Felix. You genuinely enjoyed his company, his cooking, his sense of humour. The way he brightened up a room. Most of all, he made you feel less alone. Together you were a part of something. A relationship of sorts. You mattered. And while you would do what you could to make sure this farewell wasn’t forever, in the end it was still a goodbye.

And goodbye’s were always hard, no matter what lay behind them.

“Alright,” he murmured, taking your hand in his, gently brushing his thumb against your knuckles. “When should I expect to hear from you again?”

“I’ll give you a call by the end of the week. I might try talking to Chan, just to see where he’s at with all this. Try to make him understand before he decides to throw me under the bus.”

Felix hums in response, before twisting his neck so that his chin rests on top of your head. “I’m going to miss you,” he states simply.

You smile sadly, planting a soft kiss at the nape of his neck. “I’ll miss you too,” you say, “but this will only be temporary. I’ll make sure of it.”

~~~~

You didn’t get the chance to talk to Chan, as not even a full day after Felix left your apartment, a letter slid under your door. Carefully, you arose from your spot on your couch, setting your laptop down on the coffee table. You approached the envelope slowly, as if you were to move too fast, it might combust.

You picked up the letter, turning it over to reveal the seal. Your heart sunk in your chest.

There it was. The red wax seal. The letter was from The Society.

Fuck.

You frantically ripped off the seal, releasing the note inside with shaky hands.

Dear Ms. L/N,

We have recently been informed that you have been participating in actions that violate the terms of our Society agreement. This information has been provided to us by a source of whom wishes to remain anonymous for the time being.

However, these claims remain a serious issue. We would like to give you the chance to explain yourself, as well as clear up what may be a possible misunderstanding or simply a false accusation. If these actions happen to be true, then we will deal with matters accordingly.

You are called to attend this meeting at 1:00pm tomorrow, at the councilroom of our head district.

We appreciate your compliance.

Our regards,

The Council.

~~~~

It’s almost funny, looking back on how hopeful you’d been. That despite everything working against you, you’d somehow thought you could best them. Somehow thought that you were more powerful than the unbeatable. More powerful than The Council.

That’s where you found yourself now, seated before the three all-powerful vampires, surrounded by endless more. You thought you’d be more terrified, more horrified of what they might choose to do to you.

But you aren’t. You’re tired of this. Tired of it all. So let them do whatever they wanted, you would take it. You didn’t regret any of what you did.

Not a damn thing.

“Ms. L/N,” the head councilmen repeats, voice dead of emotion. “Do you know why you’re here today?”

Of course you do. He knows damn well that you know exactly why you’re here, you can see it in the smirk playing at the corner of his lips.The question is mockery.

So you say nothing.

“Cooperation will make this much easier, Ms. L/N,” another member of The Council speaks from beside him. She looks far younger than he is, although they are probably around the same age. Which is to say, hundreds of years old.

As your silence continues, the head councilman sighs, rubbing the space between his eyes in frustration. “Fine. Let me explain, shall I? We have reason to suspect you’ve been… coercing with a human boy. Felix Lee.”

Your heart jumps slightly. They know his name? You weren’t expecting that, but then again this was The Council. Digging up identities was the least they were capable of.

“Is this true, Ms. L/N?”

You stare at the councilman. There’s no point in lying. He knows. This meeting was not to defend your innocence, but to determine your punishment. You can see it in his eyes. Those hollow, sunken eyes, that seem farther from humanity than you could’ve dreamed possible.

“Yes,” you state. Your eyes drift to the corner of the room, landing on Chan, who’s gaze remains firm. You want to slap him. Or yell at him. Maybe both.

“Hm, well at least you’re honest,” the councilman murmurs, a light buzz of laughter vibrating throughout the room. This is funny to them, a joke. Irritation itches under your skin, you don’t quite see the humour here.

“Well,” the councilmen starts, a glint in his eye. “In order to reward your honesty, I suppose we won’t punish you.”

You blink. “What?” You say, your voice coming out a croak. You glance at Chan again, who looks equally confused. His eyes are wide, chest heaving as his breathing rate increases. No, he’s not confused, he’s alarmed.

Something is wrong. You glance back at the councilman, and there it is again, that glint of something awful in his eyes. Something evil.

“You heard me correctly, Ms. L/N. We will not punish you,” the last word drips from his tongue, and you come to understand the weight of his words.

“Fuck. No. No, no, no,” you can hardly hear yourself think over the ringing in your ears, your thoughts a jumbled mess of panic and pure terror.

The councilmen clears his throat, a grin spreading across his lips, fangs almost shining in the dim light of the councilroom.

“No, Felix Lee will be the one to pay this price. Kill him, and the damage you’ve caused will be forgiven.”

next chapter.

#skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #felix x reader #skz felix #stray kids felix #stray kids felix x reader #skz felix x reader #vampire skz #vampire stray kids #vampire felix #skz x vampire reader #stray kids x vampire reader #stray kids #skz #felix fan fic #felix fan fiction

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idjitlili · 4 years ago

Text

Your eyes can be so cruel.

Kili x reader

Summary: Being apart of the company, and growing close to Kili. After stopping at an inn, some drunk men, decide to pick at Kili's appearance. Words from Bowie come into favour.

A/n: Requested by Thatfoolishhuman I have seen this idea a lot for Kili, but I'lol make it my own :) Also I'm British, so don't be mad at my spelling. FIRST IMAGINE OF 2021

Word count:3375

Warnings: Listened to David Bowie while writing this, sorry Bowie you just too handsome. Swearing.

Songs in order: rebel rebel, as the world falls down.

There was perks from travelling with your parents; due to business. The most frequent place you'd go was Tortuga, it was a quite a large village. Every time that you'd go, you and your parents stayed in an inn, which had a pub connected to it.

You'd eat with your parents in there, before all the drunks arrived, it was also a Saturday that you'd go. Saturdays meant that a song writer, and singer in one , was always there. His name being Jareth, he was a very beautiful man, in honesty one of the best musicians, in history.

Jareth was a skinny man, had a huge blond mullet, beautiful eyes one pupil larger than the other, beautiful accent, beautiful everything. Who couldn't have a crush on Jareth, his songs were like none other.

These trips started when you were 5, when your parents business finally picked up, all the way up until you came to age. Which is when you joined the company, due to Gandalf.

You didn't think you'd ever see Jareth again, but you do. You had undoubtedly had a crush on the singer growing up, you had almost forgotten about him when you joined the company.

Personally you didn't know Gandalf very well, not like your parents did, but he recruited you for an adventure, how could you deny it. A chance to see elves, dwarves, dragons? No way you was going to pass up that chance, no way.

You were surprised when the company had picked up, after getting Bilbo, since you lived on the way. Scary yes, not knowing any of these people, a chance at getting friends, you could only hope.

Strange was to say the least, you had seen a couple of dwarves growing up , that was just in pubs mostly. The were always not so pleasant, but these dwarves, plump and strikingly handsome. That hobbit? Bilbo that didn't take long for you to become friends, being shy didn't help, but some how you managed.

Dwarves were were quite scary; to say the least they intimidated you.

That was until a particularly rainy day, when the mud was like cake batter. Thorin had decided it was time to stop for the night, the rain hammering down, lightning even, every now and then.

Everyone was getting off their pony's, as were you, you was about to step down, when a huge crack of thunder was sounded above you. Damn you Thor. You had jumped, slipping on the mud, but you never hit the floor, instead you into strong arms.

Looking up , drips of water from dark hair had dripped on you, as Kili looked down at you. Your feet upwards, like a trust fall, you had smiled in embarrassment back to Kili, who had pulled you up to your feet. "T-thank you." Now standing up on your own, pulling your tunic down, trying to avoid eye contact.

"You're welcome, wouldn't want you to ruin your clothes a day into our journey." Kili had smiled at you, as you looked back to him from your feet, smiling slightly back.

Dwarves weren't as bad as they were made out to be, you learned that very quickly. When it was time for baths, turns out they were protective over females, always when you bathed two dwarves stood guard, just in case.

On cold nights, you'd wake up with an extra blanket.

Even though Thorin didn't like you were on this quest, he was never horrible, maybe because you just stayed quiet. You did not want to anger that beast, Bilbo talked quite a lot and look at him..

On one night, you were told to hide, Bilbo had been kidnapped by trolls, you hadn't listened. You followed everyone else, staying the bushes, getting as close as you possibly could, before quietly climbing up a tree with your knife.

It wasn't long before they were all caught, you just staring down at them, specifically Kili, you had hoped at he look up, and see you drop the knife. You could not make nose that would have alerted the trolls immediately. Sat on a branch , trying to blend in as much as possible.

That was Kili had looked up wide eyed, as you dropping the knife , and quickly climbed further up the tree to get out of eye view. You had thought it had worked, oh you was wrong.

"That one has gotten out!" Kili had started running around the trolls , as if he was sonic. A few minutes that lasted before you had noticed a shadow. But it didn't matter because Bert had grabbed Kili tightly,like he was slime that wouldn't stay put. No way would not have bruises after that. Of course he got out of Berts grip as Gandalf had appeared, cracking the large Boulder, turning the trolls into stone.

Feeling terrible the next day still, when the company had stopped again for the night and everyone had went to sleep. You could not, Kili being on watch, you had gotten up quietly, making your way over to him, sitting on log next to him.

Thinking about what you would say, Kili had beaten you to it. "Can't sleep?" His voice sounded tired, but still as lively. "Yeah.. um I'm sorry." Very convincing, indeed.

" for what?" The fire glowing orange, causing Kili to be barely visible as he turned to his to look at you. "It's my fault, that you got hurt yesterday, I should've listened to Thorin."

"What on earth are you going on about? I wasn't hurt? I'm fine, no one is dead , you did great, you didn't throw the knife at my head, maybe then I'd be distrusting in you." You felt like sighing, thankfully, but that would be cringy.

"I haven't got good aim, so it could've happened."

"You need someone to teach you." You had scoffed slightly at Kili, gaining his full attention.

"I do not think anyone would have the patience." The warm orange glow from the fire, lit up the outline of Kili's face, a small grin could be seen.

"Are you challenging me? I have to sit through multiple speeches from Thorin a day."

"That's because you and Fili mess with him, I saw you the other day tangle a bunch of branches into his hair ,while he was sleeping. Why are you always surprised that he gets mad?"

"That was funny though, did you not see that bird fly at him? It shat on his face." Kili's grin only widened, as did yours, you had seen, Thorins face was bright red with the whipped cream.

"I'm surprised Thorin doesn't just leave you somewhere."

"My mum would kill him. Right that settles it, you will learn from the best , to throw knives."

"You will really get Fili to help me?" Kili had gasped at you , sarcastically. "Oh I see, you want that Lion, over me, I'm hurt y/n."

"No,no, thank you Kili."

Thus, a bond was formed every night the company stopped, Kili would take you from camp, taught you basic defensive techniques and knife throwing.

To say the least, it did not take you long to develop a crush. Fili and Bilbo had became suspicious and decided to sneak up on you two. Why you'd do , not sure, Bilbo supposed to be smart, for all they knew you could've been going at it.

Instead they found you both sparring, undoubtedly they were confused, as you knocked the sword from Kili's hand ,before tackling him. Straddling him, as you looked up to see Bilbo and Fili. Quickly letting go of Kili's wrists, Kili looking up confused too, as you stood up, pulling him up with you.

"Oh, hi, we were just sparring." Too embarrassed to speak, Kili did soon as he noticed his brother and hobbit. "So, this is what you two have been doing for weeks? 'Sparring'?" Fili didn't believe it, if Thorin knew he would not have, an heir to the throne, left unsupervised with a woman? No way.

"Yes Fili, I've been teaching Y/n how to defend herself." Sweat dripping down both of your faces, "Right okay, Thorin said it's time for you to have a bath in the quarry, before the dwarves filthy it. Come on y/n." Bilbo had pulled you away, turning your head back to Kili you had sent a smile back to him.

You were back on the road soon enough, Thorin had decided to let the company stop for a night at an inn, an inn with a pub on the side.

Tortuga, the inn you had grew up at.

What day was it? Saturday, you could only hope, you had a huge grin on your face. You had grabbed your stuff, once everyone was off their pony's, heading in to the inn,

Getting to the desk, to check into the inn, which consequently next to the bar, you in front. "Aye, it's y/n/n! It's been a while, luv. And you've brought friends, do you all need rooms?" Sparrow, the owner of the inn had greeted you,with a grin. That man was also very handsome, but too old for you though.

"I know, mum and dad been here a lot though, I assume? Oh I'm, when they next come here, would you be able to give this. And yes please we need for 16." Handing Sparrow the letter from your pocket.

"Of course, okay right it's 2 coins each for the night." The dwarves soon pulled out there coins passing them forward, as did you.

As Sparrow got the keys after counting the coins, he had turned back to you. "Oh, and lucky for you, y/n/n Jareth is here tonight." Sparrow had grinned, as your face flushed.

"Oh,really?" Kili unknowingly to you had also developed a crush on you, the mention of Jareth, made him bubble with jealousy. The company wondered, why such a young woman would be on nickname terms with the pub owner, and who Jareth was. They hadn't seen you as that type of girl, they were right not you, you weren't an alcoholic.

You had all went to your rooms, you had bathed deeply , dressed and headed down to the pub for dinner. The company already there, sat at tables, with jugs of ale. There was a space next to Kili, who had waved you over to sit.

Squeezing next to Kili, Sparrow had catcalled you again. "Oi, y/n/n , usual?" Nodded to his question, Loki the cook had brought out your favourite dinner, as Sparrow brought you an ale.

"You had it ready? Thank you." Sparrow had just winked leaving you to eat your dinner, the others were too busy drinking , but when they had noticed your food, they quickly ordered food.

"So, you come here regularly?" Kili had questioned as you finished your food, "oh, I'm yes, I travelled with my parents growing up , we had to drop stuff off here in Tortuga often , so we would stay here for the night." You had spoken quickly , wanting to change the subject.

" Transporting goods then?" Kili was intrigued, watching you intensely as you sipped your ale. Really he wanted to know who Jareth was. "Yeah, pretty boring, got to see a lot of places though." After that, a lot of people began to pile in, and the dwarves got drunker.

You knew it was going to be soon, that Jareth would be here. Not long at all, customers getting drunk, it was lively indeed.

Though nothing ever happened between you and Jareth, he still held a place in your heart, as well as being your best friend.

That's when you heard it.

"Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo

Doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo" you head had shot up,in search of him, but you couldn't see him.

"You've got your mother in a whirl

She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl

Hey babe, your hair's alright

Hey babe, let's go out tonight

You like me, and I like it all

We like dancing and we look divine

You love bands when they're playing hard

You want more and you want it fast

They put you down, they say I'm wrong

You tacky thing, you put them on." Then you saw him, on the stage , well sort of a stage.

Catching sight of his mullet, down to his eyes, he had not noticed you, you wondered if Sparrow had told him you were here. You hoped he would see you.

"Rebel rebel, you've torn your dress

Rebel rebel, your face is a mess

Rebel rebel, how could they know?

Hot tramp, I love you so!" Thats when Jareth finally caught your eyes, holding eye contact as he sang, Blush upon your face. You had gotten up and went to the bar, ordering something strong, before retiring to your seat.

As Jareth had already started another song, you smacked down your drink.

"There's such a sad love

Deep in your eyes a kind of pale jewel

Open and closed

Within your eyes

I'll place the sky

Within your eyes." Jareth , catching your eye, gesturing you to come closer , with his hand.

"There's such a fooled heart

Beatin' so fast

In search of new dreams

A love that will last

Within your heart

I'll place the moon

Within your heart"

Standing up , Kili watched you as you walked towards the stranger man, as did the other dwarves.

"As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn't too much fun at all

But I'll be there for you-ou-ou

As the world falls down."

Jareth had held knelt down, holding his gloved hand for you to take, which you did. Pulling you up onto the stage. Still holding onto your hand, still singing, as he continued singing, you placed your hand on his shoulder as he placed his other hand on your waist.Kili's heart ached.

"Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love." As you two danced , in sync, you truly loved Jareth, Kili stood up , went to the bar to get another drink.

"I'll paint you mornings of gold

I'll spin you Valentine evenings though we're strangers 'til now

We're choosing the path

Between the stars

I'll leave my love

Between the stars." Jareth had taught you how to dance, and every time you visited , he'd give you another song he had written for your book. A book which held all his songs.

"As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill is gone

Wasn't too much fun at all

But I'll be there for you-ou-ou

As the world falls down

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

Makes no sense at all

Makes no sense to fall

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

Falling in love." As soon as the song was over, you both had gotten of stage and you had jumped into Jareths arms.

"Missed you."

"Ditto,"

Jareth had looked over to your table, "so you are travelling with dwarves now?" You had smiled , looking back your table, Kili wasn't there. "Yes, Jareth, I'm going on an adventure, we have already seen trolls."

Grinning down at you, realisation hit Jareth, and went rushed to his bag quickly before returning back to you with a sheet of paper.

'Magic dance.'

"Just in case you meet a Goblin king. So who is your beloved?" Taking the piece of paper, looking at into Jareths blue eyes in confusion. "W-what?"

"The dwarf that stormed out, he does not like me." Jareth had chuckled, as you folded the piece of paper up placing it away. "We aren't together."

"Maybe you should go check on him, y/n/n, come see me later, I'm staying here tonight." You had briefly hugged Jareth before leaving the pub.

That's when you heard it, "stupid fucking hairless, fuck." Local drunks harassing Kili. "Oi, what are you doing?" The men had turned briefly to look at you, before scoffing. "Fuck of tramp."

You had marched up to the greasy man, pulling by the shoulder, to face you , and kneeing him in the crotch, making the man double over. Kili had punched one of them. The men soon ran, when you had tackled one of them, beating them into mash, when Kili had pulled you off,the ground, trying to get out of his grip. All the men ran.

"It's me, y/n, stop, if you continued you would have been arrested." Placing , you back onto the floor, Kili had soon walked off, heading to his room, you following. But he had closed the door before you could get in.

This, you climbed up the roof hanging over the roof, to look into Kili's room. Looking like Spiderman. Kili sat on his bed staring at the wall, not moving, jumping when you knocked the window.

He had rushed to the window when he had seen you , hanging of the roof, you definitely couldn't hold on longer. Though Kili wasn't tear stained , it was clear that he was upset. He had opened the window, helping you in.

"What are you doing? On the roof, what if you fell." He as definitely annoyed, "I would not have, plus I wouldn't have to if you let me in before." You definitely would have fell.

He hadn't answered this time, just sat on the bed, away from you, you sat next to him on the bed.

"Kili, talk to me, tell me what has made you not yourself. Please, Kili." You didn't dare touch him, but you did placing your hand on his foreman. "Why don't you go to your beloved? You won't be seeming him for a while , instead of bothering me." You had scoffed pulling your hand off of him, you already knew he ran off because of Jareth.

"You are very stupid dwarf, in all honesty, Jareth is my bestfriend, only friend I had growing up, and don't you think he is a bit old for me?"

"I don't believe it, you like a man that has long soft hair, nothing like me, I can't even grow a beard."

"frankly beards are really gross, tell me that the dwarves don't smell? You know why? Because they drop food all their beards and don't know it." You had laughed, imagine Bombur going through his beard and finding cheese.

"They do smell,"

"Exactly, and what's wrong with your hair, Kili?" You had turned on the bed, bringing your hand up to his hair,touching it gently, moving it out for his face. "I think you've got lovely hair, those guys were just idiots, Jareth had to beat them with a soup spoon once, you are not stupid nor hairless. How could they call you hairless? They are bald?"

Cupping Kili's face, to bringing him to face you, looking into his chestnut eyes. "Y/n, I must confess, that this would not have happened if I did not like you." And with that you had pressed your lips to his.

"Your eyes can be so cruel

Just as I can be so cruel

Oh I do believe in you

Yes I do" Jareth singing faintly could be heard.

#the hobbit x y/n #the hobbit oneshot #the hobbit x #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit kili #hobbit imagine #the hobbit imagines #hobbit imagines #kili x y/n #kili x you #kili imagines #kili imagine #kili x reader #kili the dwarf #labyrinth #crossover

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roger1na · 5 years ago

Text

careful ch8 - john deacon x reader

summary: you are a ballet student at the royal ballet academy. To pay for your tuition, you work part-time at the celebrity gossip magazine, Seven. One fateful day you’re sent to interview a band on the rise, Queen, post-concert and fall in love with the sweetest man on the planet.

word count: 2k+

warnings: swearing, some sexual implications

author's note: yEehaw she's a little late. my adhd said fuck you and i couldn't focus on anything and also she's a little shorter than usual but honestly i had no material. however i rlly like the dialogue in this chapter. and also i think it's cute.

chapter eight

You smoothed over the red satin ribbon you had gently tied around the small blue box for the hundredth time. Your wristwatch ticked gently at the minutes going by as your taxicab sat in traffic. You wish you could've called him to say you were coming, you just might be late.

You'd stressed over a present, having no clue what John liked, really. Engineering and some disco tracks, photography and the like, but coming up with a present from all that was difficult. You were proud with what you had come up with, though.

Suddenly, the cab lurched forward and continued the route much faster than before and relief washed over you as the houses lining the street went into motion blur.

You hadn't been quite sure what to wear to your boyfriend's concert. Even that term was still up for debate. You hadn't said it aloud yet. You wondered what the fans would think. You had settled on a skirt and a Queen -hoodie, just to be supportive and to be wary of the rainy clouds gathering in the sky. You were determined to not freeze.

The venue itself was a rather small pub, especially packed with people. Some were already tipsy, even drunk, although it was early in the evening.

You slipped backstage, twisting grey hallways leading to a small backstage room with poor lighting next to the stage. Anxiety made you fret you'd gone to the wrong bar until you spotted the blonde curls of Roger.

He was turned around, hassling with his drum kit and you tapped his shoulder. He let out a small squeak and turned around fast but quickly relaxed when he realised it was only you.

"Ah you made it! Deaky's been fretting all evening."

You helped him up and smiled. "Yeah, traffic was just awful."

You tried having a polite conversation with him but your eyes kept flitting around looking for John and the rest of the band.

"Y/N?" Roger waved a thin-fingered hand over your eyes and you snapped out of your daze, feeling like you'd almost chewed through your lower lip.

"Wha-hm?" You managed to sputter.

"I asked you for your favourite Queen song, so we could add it to the program."

"Oh," you blushed sheepishly. "Sorry. I was just…"

"Looking for John?"

The blush deepened and you only managed a nod.

"He's sobering up, Freddie's holding his hair and Brian's mother henning him." Roger laughed.

"What? Is he okay?" Your eyes grew wide like saucers.

"Oh don't worry, we just gave him some champagne to loosen him up. Turns out we gave him too much. Combined with nerves he was a bit done for."

"Oh." You hummed.

"Seriously, Y/N. He's completely okay."

You went back to nibbling on your lower lip, not saying anything for a while. Roger leaned against the wall and took out a pack of Marlboro Reds which reminded you of Rose and calmed you down strangely. "My friend Rose smokes the same brand." You remarked quietly.

"Rose?" Roger's interest was piqued before you shook your hand.

"Nuh-uh, she doesn't swing that way."

"Ah, I see." He said, and then the slightly awkward silence came back, slightly heavier than before. You rubbed your arm and your hairs bristled.

Finally, he spoke up. "How come it took you two so long to, well, you know. Get together. You're practically jumping out of your skin to see him."

You looked at him slightly confused.

"I know we teased you on saturday but I know you didn't even kiss until the friday before the last," he continued.

"Hm."

"Great answer."

"I'm thinking!" You protested. "I suppose, it's always a challenge to be a woman. Especially as somebody whose identity is so strongly tied to my work. I mean, I don't really expect you to get it but I had to watch it. Make sure my relationship with John wouldn't eat me up."

"Yeah. I mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? Especially because he's a bit well known."

"Right! Do you see how magazines like The Sun or Seven write about women? We're accessories. That sort of sucks. I didn't want to get into somebody only to realise our lives didn't fit or something, and then I'd still have meddled too far for it to have no effect on my personal life." You hadn't expected to elicit such a clever response from Roger.

"I don't get it get it. But I understand. You had to make sure you had your footing on a sturdy ledge before you climbed."

"Exactly!"

"I'm glad you took the chance."

You smiled softly. A clamor of voices interrupted your conversation before you could answer.

"Brian, he's totally fine!" Came Freddie's slightly scratchy, posh, voice.

"He's turning green, Freddie." Brian insisted.

"Do I get a say? I'm okay." An east-England accentuated voice piped up.

The three men rounded the corner and you saw him, slightly pale, hair frizzed up and eyeliner ruined but still there. You locked eyes and his face split into a grin. Before you could stop yourself, you leapt into a sprint-half-jog across the room into his arms. It was clumsy, badly-orchestrated and he could barely stay upright as he caught your body in his arms and your lips in his.

"Well, hi, I'm definitely fine now."

"Hello, happy birthday!" You wished him, enjoying the warmth of his arms.

"Don't we get a hello, Y/N?" Freddie asked you as John slowly let you down.

"Hi, yes, hi," you fixed your hair before quickly giving Freddie and Brian their own slightly less intense hugs.

"We're so glad you made it," Freddie grinned. "I love what you're wearing." He added, slightly teasingly.

"Listen," you said, mock-sternly. "I had to pick something that matches the set!"

"And it's great," John took your hand, interrupting anymore comments. "Come, I'll show you the dressing room."

He lead you to a small room that was more of a supply closet.

The room measured maybe four metres by four, with graffitied band names and posters on the wall. A small table with uneven legs stood in the corner, with a bowl of bright red gummy bears on the edge.

"It's…" You paused looking for words.

"Dingy, I know," he laughed. "I'm sure we'll get better ones in November, actually."

"What's happening in November?"

"We're performing at the Rainbow again, like in march, but this time, with the new album."

"Oh that's fantastic," you grinned. "What's the new album called?" You asked.

"Sheer Heart Attack." He smiled proudly.

"Is it going to be scandalous? Will it have more than a dash of Deaky?"

"Absolutely, I wrote a whole song."

"You did? Will I get to hear it?"

Suddenly his cheeks sported a bright crimson and he shook his head. "It's silly."

"Oh come on!" You tugged at his arm slightly. "It'll be my new favourite."

"Oh, I don't think so. But Freddie's trying to get me to play it today."

"Ha, so I'll hear it anyway," you smile.

He was about to reply but Roger came to the door. "Deaks, we're starting in five, you should let Y/N to the bar." He'd lined his eyes with black kohl, probably matching with Freddie. John's was not as smudged or intense but it definitely brought their otherwise quite clashed look together as a band.

"Right then," you turned to him, smiling encouragingly. "Good luck. I'll be in the front row."

"Don't I get a good luck kiss?" He complained and you rolled your eyes, pecking his lips softly.

"Bye then."

You slipped from the dressing room and through a dimly lit hallway back to the main room, where there was loud chatter and drunken wailing.

You were brought back to the first time you'd met John. The loud people, the intenseness of the show, the participation of the crowd. It all seemed so familiar, when you elbowed your way to the front as they walked out, surrounded by cheers. John caught your eye and winked. A girl screamed in the crowd as the first notes were plucked out but you were too absorbed in the music you couldn't pay attention to anybody else.

They played various songs from their first and second album, including some of your favourites like Liar and Son and Daughter.

"Right, then," Freddie walked to the front, sweat glistening on his forehead, kohl even more smudged than intended.

"I'm glad it sounds like you're enjoying yourselves." The crowd cheered at his words and he smiled, a bit sheepish, a bit shy. "Thank you, we still have one last song for you. It's off our new album," he twirled the microphone cord in his hands. "And it's written by our very own bassist, mr. John Deacon!"

The crowd clapped and whistled and cheered loudly and John smiled to himself, leaning into his microphone. "It's an odd number, I'll give you that."

"Here is," Freddie paused for drama. "Misfire!"

A jazzy tune of guitars and bass and loud clear snares started up. The crowd was absolutely too hammered to hear the lyrics properly but you had to giggle. John caught your eye again and saw you laughing, looking away a bit bashful.

The song ended with a happy strum done by Brian and then the lights dimmed, they all bowed and it was over. You were still tingling all over from the basslines sliding over you to notice the crowd start to dissipate.

Backstage there was energy and bubble. Freddie had a cheap bottle of sparkling wine that he was trying to pop open. The cork shot out and hit the ceiling with a loud bang and the band cheered. Freddie raised his glass. "To John's birthday and first song," and tousled John's curls. You laced your fingers in his and smiled.

"Hey, I have a present for you," you whispered in his ear when the other boys had started squabbling goodnaturedly about something.

"You didn't have to," he told you, but he looked happy as you handed him the box.

The red satin ribbon came off with ease as he tugged at it gently, slightly nervous at what you had gotten him.

"It's a mixtape. And tickets to my next show for the entire band. But don't tell Freddie now, he'll lose his mind." You smiled, when he opened the box to a small cassette tape. The plastic case rattled slightly when he took it from the box and turned it to try and see a setlist. Instead of a list of songs, it was the polaroid of you two, grinning stupidly into the camera on a thunderous saturday afternoon.

"How will I know what song's coming up?" His smile was hesitant.

"Well, uh, I thought it was sweeter with the polaroid. Also I kind of forgot what songs I put in there."

"Wow."

"And I know it's not much but-"

"No, no it's great," he smiled and while you had turned away flustered he wiped one eye quickly. Freddie caught his eye and grinned mischievously as if all this was somehow his doing.

"Alright, alright then, it is John's birthday, so it is only appropriate we go get properly wasted," Freddie interrupted the moment and raised his glass. "To Shelley's!"

Shelley's was a pub Queen frequented often, whether it was performing or chatting with the aggressive but kind hearted matron. You spun around on the barstool as John ordered some strangely named Shelley's exclusive cocktails which always tasted familiar but they weren't your average Bloody Mary's.

He brought two glasses of a bright green drink, which tasted like artificial watermelon, and if you were honest, it was kind of shitty. But you were enjoying yourself.

The radio blared some old songs, couples danced to slow songs and groups of girls rocked out to the fast paced disco songs. You were taking it in, reporter eyes absorbing every detail when John took your hand.

"Did you have fun tonight?" He whispered.

"The best time. Happy birthday again. I loved the new song." You smirked a little bit.

"Well… It is pretty funny. Like you said I should make it."

"Is it truthful?" You challenged, alcohol making your filter nonexistent.

"What? Of course not!"

"Prove it."

***

taglist: @fourmisfits @deakysgirl @im-happy-at-home @obsessedwithrogertaylor @itsametaphorbriansblog @rhapso-kei @deacontaylormaymercury @queenmylovely @imgonnabeyourslave @weirdestmentalityphilosopher @thefatbottomedmay @heyyyyyyyleykiyoko @brujademente @marvellouslynerdy @sunflower-borhap-boys

#bohemian rhapsody #john deacon #borhap #joe mazzello #deacy x reader #deacy #deaky #deaky x reader #john deacon x reader #joe!john deacon x reader #joe!john x reader #joe!john deacon #joe!john #joe!deaky

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asterinjapan · 5 years ago

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Museum day

Good evening again from a rainy Tokyo!

Well, I think it’s dry now, but it’s been raining for most of the day, I assume due to whatever remains of tropical depression ex-typhoon number 20 of this year. And of course, there is a very easy option to do on a rainy day: visiting museums! Or well, just the one today, haha.

On a rainy day and a national holiday, I for sure wasn’t the only one with that idea, but since Ueno Park houses a ton of museums and a zoo and what not, the crowds still spread out.

So, follow me into the Tokyo National Museum of Nature and Science today!

Actually, I’ve been sort of intending to visit this museum since my very first visit in 2010, when a trip via school let me see a glimpse of the giant blue whale statue (life size!) that marks the entrance. However, visiting a museum is never first on my list when I go to Japan, simply because I want to do so many things. With today’s weather, I didn’t think one of my planned side trips into the mountains was such a good idea, so it was finally time.

As it turns out, entrance for the permanent exhibitions (there was no special one at the moment) was free today! Today is the enthronement of the emperor, so it’s a national holiday, and apparently also a reason to call off entry prices, haha. Once inside, I did get myself a tablet with audio guide, because with this being a broad museum on eh, nature and science, I was already fairly sure my limited vocabulary wouldn’t save me here. The tablet (or plain audio device, you could pick) was 320 yen, and it was extensive. It also offered you guides through the complex, so I picked out the longest one that would lead me through all floors. This was my day plan, after all!

First, I visited the Theater 36◯ (yeah, a circle, not a zero, they’re too cool for a simple zero). True to its name, it’s a movie theater with a screen in 360 degrees all around. You get a free audio device here for languages other than Japanese, and since only 60 people can be inside at once, it’s a wait until you can get in. I killed time by checking the introduction movies on my tablet (featuring a very cute animated triceratops girl), and then I was allowed in.

You stand on a bridge that features glass on both sides, so you can watch underneath. The theater has rotating screenings, and for October, the movie clips are the deep sea and the mantle dynamics and evolution of the Earth. I was actually most excited for the former, but ended up being most impressed by the latter. I think the deep sea clip has been here for longer, because the quality was slightly pixelated at some points. The mantle dynamics movie took you to the center of the earth, and zoomed in and out to a degree that I suddenly understood the warnings that some people might feel light-headed or motion sick here, haha. It’s not that bad, but this screening definitely tricked my brain.

After that, it was time to explore the museum proper! Actually, it consists of two buildings: the global gallery, with 3 floors in the basement and 3 floors on top, and the Japan gallery, which has 3 floors with two wings each. The route I had picked sent me to the first floor of the global gallery first, going up and then starting back down on the third floor basement, and then leading me through the Japan gallery from top to bottom.

The first floor of the global gallery immediately featured the skeleton of an Allosaurus, the first dinosaur to ever be exhibited in Japan, back in 1964. This hall features the history of the planet since the very beginning until, well, now, so that’s a lot to cover and gives a starting point for the rest of the building. It showed off biodiversity, an interactive Tree of Life display where you could follow the lines to see which organisms were linked to each other, and the development of human kind starting with the very first primates to go bipedal. It was a lot, and I noticed my guide skipped some numbers here, but I quickly found out that was on purpose. If you want to listen to all the audio guide points, you need at least two full days here.

I made my way up following the guide to the third floor, where there was an absolutely massive exhibition of specimens of all kinds of mammals and birds, including the in the wild extinct Japanese wolf and tons of deer, bears, other predators, you name it. This was overwhelming and a bit creepy (these animals did die at some point, quite probably due to hunting), but very interesting and it was pretty cool to see these animals that close. There was a play corner around the, eh, corner, for which you need to make reservations in advance, and where kids can play in a climbing construction that seemed to be littered with specimens as well (I assume replicas), so they could get a hands-on approach.

The second floor was dedicated to Japanese inventions starting in the 1600s, and the interaction with other countries that brought this around. There were direct comparisons between Japanese and European measuring devices, which was very interesting, because similar museums back in Europe wouldn’t do something like that due to the distance. Also featured here were the first computers, a replica of the Himawari satellite, Japanese clocks (which are distinctly different, because the time during days and nights was measured at a different pace) and a Global Environment detector, featuring a giant screen that you could interact with to draw up measuring results on all kinds of topics, sometimes even being the actual measurements of that moment. It’s a pretty interactive museum, so there is a lot to see and do.

At this point I took a break, to find out I’d already been wandering around for two hours! And I was barely getting started, oops. So I quickly went down to the basement to find an exhibition on ‘exploring the structure of nature’, or ‘that part where I’m really happy I rented a tablet in English, because I barely even know these terms in English’, haha. It was super interesting though, showcasing a model of a particle accelerator, and a ‘cloud chamber’ in which you could observe cosmic radiation hitting earth, and actual moon rocks and the periodic table with all elements (except the radioactive ones) on display.

Another floor up is one of the more impressive ones, as it houses tons of skeletons of animals throughout the ages, including the biggest mammoth and the earliest human. They had some scarily realistic reconstructions of early humans, so lifelike that I was almost fooled into thinking they were actually people dressing up, haha.

One more floor up is one of the more popular floors, for a very easy reason: dinosaurs! There were quite a few on display, and I never fail to be impressed by the sheer size and variety of them. Not much to say here I guess, except me having a good time because dinosaurs, haha.

I made it back to the Japan gallery (the building I had started in) and after some latte, I carried myself to the third floor. I must confess I started rushing from now on, since it was already 3 PM, but this building is considerably smaller and the guide has fewer, if longer, audio spots. This building is, of course, more dedicated to the Japanese natural history, and guides you through the animals found in Japan’s waters until you find yourself facing a plesiosaurus, Futabasaurus, the first of its kind to be found in Japan. It’s reconstructed as if it’s swimming over your head, very impressive.

One floor down showcases the variety of animals found on the Japanese islands, and one of my favourites: Japanese people throughout the ages, starting in the Jomon period and ending in the Edo era (or the present, if you choose to go stand in the last spot, haha). These featured mannequins in daily life situations that were very realistic, I assume they used the same techniques as in wax museums, because I was seriously impressed, wow.

Near the end of this hall, a group of people had gathered to take pictures. You see, there was another very popular display: Hachiko. Yep, the same dog whose statue sits outside Shibuya station and of which I take a picture every time, so naturally I had to take a picture of the real deal. It’s almost weird to see him in white, his actual color, because the statue is cast in bronze. Hachiko is famous enough to get 2 plaques in English, rather than just a single line translated, haha.

On the first floor, you’ll find instruments from Japan used to throughout the ages to observe nature, including the very important ones of observing seismographic activity, rather vital in a country this active.

Finally, I was back in the basement, which has Foucault’s pendulum and uh, not much else, but I was kind of glad, because I was seriously tired and overwhelmed at this point. I learnt a whole lot today, and actually feel this is a museum you might want to visit in two trips rather than trying to stuff it all into one. I had a great time, though! I took a lot more pictures than I usually do in museums, there was just so much to see.

Of course there is a museum shop, and of course it has a special corner for Hachiko, and uh, now I have a plushie Hachiko, haha. He’s very soft and a very good boy!

It was almost 5 PM, though, so I rushed out and took a quick picture of the whale statue outside before making my way back to the station. The rain had stopped, so I walked from Ikebukuro station to Tokyu Hands to browse until dinner time, which meant I found their origami paper section, so I had a good time here, too, ahem.

Back at the hotel now, and time to go to bed, because it’ll be a long day tomorrow! It should be dry and even sunny, so fingers crossed, haha.

I’m not sure if I will update tomorrow, so for now good night and see you soon!

#report #report: japan 2019 #japan 2019

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plush-anon · 7 years ago

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ptagged by @lethotep (i haven’t gotten to do one of these in absolute AGES, i’m so excited)

Rules: 1. Post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. And tag 11 people

What’s something you wish you could spend more time on? Probably my writing, or maybe working on creating/fine-tuning cosplay costumes - nowadays, between increasingly-stressful work and general adulting, combined with general introvert related drainage (right now, I am the only one on phone duty for my sector of the department, and have been for almost a month as we move over to a new application system - I’m normally just slated for three afternoons a week, which makes it even more stressful), I can barely function when I get home apart from tending to my pup Sophie and other general adulting stuff.

What’s your favourite Pokemon? Now that’s a toughie. Ummm... Imma go with my new current fav, Alola Vulpix (it’s just so freaking cute!).

Would you rather live far from other people in the middle of nowhere, or in a busy city? While I like my privacy and ability to retreat, in order to really function I NEED to be in a city. So, busy city it is.

What’s your favourite horror film? Hm... Depends on the horror type I suppose. I’m not terribly big on newer horror films (it’s not my preferred genre, but they can have really interesting stories or character concepts). I’m more for the older horror films, tbh - but if I picked a current horror film, I’d prolly go with The Babadook or the new IT movie - both focused more on characters than jumpscares with very good actors and character development. For the older horror films, I’m torn between classic Bela Lugosi Dracula and Psycho.

Top five animated cartoons? Scooby Doo Where Are You?, Gravity Falls, Batman: The Animated Series, Steven Universe, and a tie between Teen Titans (original version) and Justice League/Justice League Unlimited. (And not necessarily in that order, either).

If you could have any TWO superpowers what would they be? Flight and invisibility. OR: Flight and shape-shifting.

Sunny day or rainy day? Rainy day. I am tremendously peeved whenever the weather forecast shows a 50+ % chance of rain and all we get are clear skies l:(

If you could learn one new language instantly, what would it be? Spanish would be the most useful, buuuuuuut I am a sucker for French literature and film.

Pokemon or Legend of Zelda? Pokemon, since it’s what I grew up with (back when the used versions were suuuuper cheap to get at GameStop for Gameboy Advanced). I think if my family had had the bigger gaming systems, I would have loved to play LoZ games - and I currently enjoy watching playthroughs of them on Youtube when I get the chance - but they were either never available to me or too freaking expensive or on another system. Ahhh, such is life.

Favourite genre of music, and favourite artist in that genre? Oof, too many to speak of. o_O I’ll go for Alternative Pop/Rock (since it covers... a lot of my stuff, really) and Panic! at the Disco / Fall Out Boy. The other option is Musicals/Broadway, but that one’s a little trickier to nail down in terms of artists.

What do you think of puzzles of all sorts? I enjoy Sudoku and Crossword puzzles on occasion, love Pictograms, highly enjoy Logic Puzzles (so long as they have those nifty grids), and, whenever I have the space, go crazy for jigsaw puzzles. I’ll dabble in others from time to time, but those are my faves.

All righty then, time for my eleven questions to issue:

1. Star Trek, Star Wars, or Doctor Who, and why? 2. Favorite fantasy book? 3. What’s your favorite monster or cryptid and why? Least favorite? 4. Who was the rudest person you ever encountered at work? 5. Favorite drink? 6. What are your favorite pajamas/clothes to wear to bed (if any)? 7. Least favorite texture and why? 8. Who’s your favorite Gotham Rogue out of Batman’s villains and why? 9. What was your first/favorite stuffed animal or toy growing up as a kid? 10. If money, time, and skill were of no issue, who would you cosplay as at San Diego ComiCon and why? 11. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing in the next 12 months and why?

tagging (if it tickles your fancy, of course): @perfectlynormalhumanbeing @gretchensinister @emeraldembers @returning-on-tuesday @everystarstorm @avablook @spiffylindster @phantoms-lair @lithefider @ksclaw @phantom-of-the-keurig

and anyone else who might be interested, of course :D Have fun!

#ask meme #answers #plush gets personal #have fun kiddos!

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thesteveyates · 5 years ago

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Commodore Ralph Munroe and ‘Egret’.

The boat that started it all.

E. is for escapism.

My new facebook page : https://www.facebook.com/groups/524455598277075/

There’s a really nice bench on the green outside the conservative club in Hamble village UK and looks out over the river of the same name. It’s a nice spot and in the days when i worked in Southampton and lived near the village i often used to walk down there, get a coffee from the deli and just sit and watch the world of boats go buy ; there’s always something going on through the summer and weekends are hectic with boat activity.

My usual routine after working a whole month of far too many shifts in a row, i was broke…..was to catch the ferry across to Warsash and visit the nautical bookshop there for my monthly treat which was always a new book about something sailing related. There used to be a very good bakery on that side of the river too so i’d often pick up something for the lunch i would have on the park bench.

One time i’d been across the river, bought book, coffee and cake and was sat on my favourite bench when i noticed a fair amount of activity ; not on the water but lots of people around….lots of ‘suits’. I did notice that quite a few of the ‘suits’ were young and tough looking and seemed to have ‘eyes everywhere’ and more than one of them more than once just happened to amble over and give me the once over so i asked him what was going on. After a few direct questions he admitted that it was an election run and one of the top politico’s was due to start their campaign right there that day.

I should have twigged, being sat outside the conservative club and all that but i was still very tired and foggy from my long run of nights so i didn’t take any notice ; anyway, i had all that i needed in the shape of a new book, a coffee and something to eat.

About 15 minutes later, totally absorbed in my new book and fascinated by this shoal draft boat i was reading about …. i remember now the very arresting photograph of the same boat skimming across very shallow clear water with sand just below and a shallow bank just to windward ; obviously somewhere warm…….and rudely interrupted by a TV crew who asked me if i had any idea of what i’d just done or in this case : what i hadn’t just done. Well anyway, let’s get on with the important stuff , that is, talking about the boat ; we’ll deal with my sins of omission later.

Egret.

That first photograph that i saw and kept going back to isn’t the original Egret but a modern replica of sorts : there are photographs of Munroe and the original boat , as above, although no lines drawings exist and the half model that Commodore Munroe made of the hull is said to be very unlike the actual boat. The original boat doesn’t exist either, it being thought to be buried under tons of Florida real estate long past.

What we do know is that Egret was of a double-ended Sharpie/Lifeboat type hull, single chined with a flat bottom , centerboard and 2 freestanding masts with gaff rigged sails. There was a small cabin/cuddy with minimal space ; just enough room it is said to get the mail bags that Munroe delivered among the Florida inlets in there. Today, while there are many replicas most of them have been modified in some way, usually to give at least sitting and lying down space in the cabin and most have a modified hull….less rocker aft, a flatter run and less dip in the sheer line amidships.

Munroe’s design evolution is fascinating because ‘Egret’ almost seems to be a retrograde step in that he designed the flat bottomed and chined boat after he’d already designed the Presto Sharpie with it’s round hull first. Go and look at Presto today and you’ll see a boat that was years ahead of it’s time ; that’s one slippery looking hull and i’ll be coming back to Presto later on this year with a look at a modern version which is my ultimate fantasy boat….at least for now. Egret draws a lot on New England type working Sharpie’s which were usually built for the oyster dredging trade so they had to work over very shallow banks so that the crew could deploy oyster tongs to retrieve the shellfish.

Egret was very much a working boat as well as a cruising boat though ; her principal work being that of delivering the mail up and down the Florida inlets and as such had to be able to run in over shallow breaking bars. As such she was never intended as a ‘stay-aboard’ even less a long term cruising boat ; the original design at 28 feet has less usable space inside than my 22 foot centerboard Liberty. A lot of the internal space is taken up by the large centerboard space and she has barely sitting room over the sole. There are downsides to the ‘box’ Sharpie as well ; they aren’t great boats to windward and rely on a lot of internal ballast for stability, as i said earlier most modern variants have been modified in some way to make them better cruising boats.

The Egret photo file. (please note that none of these are my own photographs)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I could live like that !

The year of my (John) Major incident on the green at the Hamble must have been 1997 and it wasn’t a very happy time for me ; not only was i broke and with a big tax bill to pay but i really was working every shift going so that i could try and catch up with the bad negative equity situation with my Sheffield flat. I’d given up professional sailing after what i felt was my failure at being a big-boat skipper and in fact i’d all-but given up sailing completely ; all i was doing was the occasional help out with projects down at one of the Hamble yards. I was back in full time work, more than full time in fact, in the intensive care unit ; i guess i was permanently tired from the long runs of night shifts and lack of exercise aside from the long cycle to and from work.

I had the most profound reaction to that one photograph ; which is partially why i managed to not notice that the country’s outgoing prime minister was strolling over for a chat, heck he might even taken an interest in odd looking boats although i suspect only reason he was there was to bolster support for the failing Conservative cause…whatever.

My reaction was this : ” i could live like that” i thought and what i meant even then was that i thought i could live full time on a small sailing boat, maybe somewhere warm and where i could just drop off the radar. At the time i had nowhere near the funds to start thinking about buying or building a boat like that and in fact my thinking about a long term liveaboard boat rapidly diverged from the Egret model ; that’s not the important thing though, what is important is that was the pivotal moment when i thought that i might live like that and not like how i was living at the time. If anything it gave me the impetus for what happened over the next couple of years which was a kind of personal kick up the bum.

Postscript.

The Major incident really did happen or so i’m told ; i was completely oblivious to anything going on that day. My ‘i could live like that moment’ was only the first in a series of 3 that happened over the next few years : the second one happened in a bookshop one rainy day in Southampton and it was the late Bill Mason’s book ‘Song of the Paddle’ that time. The last one of the 3 happened in the Yosemite back country a couple of years later and there were no other influences other than being there : i thought that with a bit of equipment and a store of food i could quite happily live out there for extended periods. During my last trip out there i got talking to the bartender at Curry village one day and he told me about ‘Yogi’ Bear who was a guy living out in the Yosemite high country .

Years later i came across this documentary in which Yogi appears….about 1hr 18 minutes in.

youtube

E. Is for Egret. Commodore Ralph Munroe and 'Egret'. The boat that started it all. E. is for escapism. My new facebook page :

#Egret #frances 26 #Hamble

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nihilismdan · 7 years ago

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on the nature of daylight.

word count: 2,192 warnings: mentions of a broken home, foster care summary: They have a house. It has two people, a dog, and plenty of rooms for guests, family members, and a child. Someday. Soon. Or the one where Dan and Phil are ready for a child and sometimes it doesn't always work out, but then it does. a/n: under the cut.

a/n: Quick disclaimer: I work with CPS/foster care system. I've seen a lot of things, and felt a lot of things, and have had foster siblings. I currently work with three families right now and they're all very close to my heart, some of their stories are woven in here, and that's what I wanted to write about. The feelings that foster care and adoption can bring you. I'm adopted myself so this story is close to my heart and I hope you enjoy it. I don't know much about the UK's system and how it works, I only went by what I knew with where I live and even then I didn't want to go too into it (i am by no means an expert), I mainly just wanted to base on the feeling aspect.

They have a house. It’s two stories, and there’s floor to ceiling windows, a backyard big enough for a pool, and there’s a garden, a place for a sandpit and swing sets. There’s places for barbeques, friends who come from near and far can sit on the outdoor furniture and drink from glasses that they picked out years ago but never really got to use because it was meant for “when a permanent home was bought,” and it’s been bought.

They have a house. It has two people, a dog, and plenty of rooms for guests, family members, and a child. Someday. Soon.

The morning is slow and rainy, Dan waits for Phil to wake up. Zeus has his paws on Dan’s legs and he’s panting but his tail is wagging. Phil had picked the name. It was the name that seemed the most appropriate for a corgi and the dog’s ears had perked up when he had said it. Obviously it was meant to be, and Dan wouldn’t admit it but he actually had kind of liked the idea of their dog being named Zeus.

“I know boy,” he says, scratching him behind the ears, his nose is wet and he just wants to go on his morning walk. When he looks out the window he can see the peak of sun wanting to come out from the clouds and Dan takes a picture of it to save for later. Now he aims his camera towards the dog and decides that he’ll post it online later with some funny caption and a drag at Zeus’ name because it’s the ongoing joke since they got him a year ago.

Slowly, but surely, they are adding to their family. First, it was the house plants, second it was the garden, and then the dog, and now. Well, they’re still waiting for the last part.

The dog barks and Dan sees that Phil has woken from his slumber, his hair is sticking up in different angles and he has his glasses on but he makes his way to the kitchen not saying a word, and Zeus leaves to be right on Phil’s heals.

Some mornings Dan and Phil don’t talk- they don’t have to.

There’s a sense of peace and understanding being in a house that’s permanent, you don’t have to fill the void with talking because there isn’t one.

ii.

They go on walks with Zeus, the smell after rain is in the air and they have their matching (by accident this time) rain boots on and jackets and an umbrella just in case. They know their neighbours who have kids, and they’re enjoying the puddles and they’ll come say hi to Zeus because he’s well loved in their little community. And Dan and Phil will give them treats to give to Zeus and for a while they’re best friends.

Dan has to look away sometimes because there is a hole that hasn’t been filled, and he knows that someday is soon, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt. Instead of thinking too much about it, they pause and Zeus sniffs a bush and Phil waits, and Dan posts his tweet with the dog and puts his phone back in his pocket.

“He looks cute here,” Phil says when they switch and Dan takes the leash. He looks to what he’s referring to when he remembers he posted the picture. He smiles.

“He is cute,” Zeus has been one of the best things that’s happened to them- it motivates them to get out of bed and actually explore a little outside of their home.

Phil links arms with Dan. It’s a good day. It doesn’t take a lot for it to be a good day for Phil.

Zeus barks at a squirrel, Phil says that he’s a dog after his own heart.

iii.

They take classes. They’re to prepare them for what it’s like raising or having a foster child. Some of the classes are all day. Some of them are when they can fit them into their schedule. They make it a priority.

Dan and Phil get CPR certified, they’ll have to come back in two years to get it renewed but it feels like a direction closer to a child.

They fill out forms, and have meetings, and meet with social workers.

It’s a stressful day, Dan comes home feeling wiped and he lays on the couch curled up and stares at the wall. Phil orders chinese food and puts on an episode of a series they’re currently watching. After a while Dan needs the affection and moves into Phil who holds him. Zeus notices that Dan and Phil are touching and immediately gets in the middle because he’s more like Dan than they expected. He needs the constant love and affection of Phil. For the first time today it makes Dan laugh.

“Soon,” Phil says when they go to bed that night.

iv.

It happens unexpectedly -- of course it does. They get a phone call during a Sunday nap.

Her name is Ellie. She was an emergency foster child and Dan and Phil agreed that she could be with them until plans were made.

First they go NSPCC, they run background checks, fingerprints, simple procedure. They tell them that they’ll be meeting Ellie at the hospital. She’s just getting a check up, and Dan and Phil ask if they can bring her food. She hasn’t eaten in a couple of days their social worker says. It all becomes a little too real.

The story was her mother was on a lot of drugs, hallucinating when she called.

Dan and Phil know not to get too attached those first few nights.

She likes Zeus, and she likes crisps and rejects any kind of vegetables. She prefers the swings over the slide and the sandpit, and likes to play on Dan’s phone and the sounds. She lays her feet on Phil’s lap and rests her head on Dan’s thighs, she’s sprawled out and Dan and Phil look at each other and know it’s temporary- but it feels nice.

She’s comfortable, but asks too many questions. She’s still young and naive and believes in fairytales. So they tell her new one’s every night.

She doesn’t get nightmares because she had been living them. Zeus sleeps at her bedside.

And then she leaves not too long after.

There are videos, and events, and more dog walks, and mornings spent at a bakery, drinking coffee and reading the paper and scrolling through their phone. There’s smudges on windows in their house from Ellie that they haven’t removed, and there’s clothes that are kept in a plastic bag in a closet that’s empty.

It takes a space in their heart. There’s a little spot in their hearts that holds a lot of things; favourite songs, films, foods, artist's, interests, friends, family, Zeus, Dan, Phil, and then there’s a spot for Ellie, and a spot that’s yet to be filled, and it’s not just one- but it’s multiple. And they wait. And wait. And wait.

When they finally get around to cleaning the smudges off the window and the backyard that was littered with children's toys it feels like a fresh slate. Phil tends to his garden, and he plants more flowers and Zeus makes holes because he’s trying to help but he doesn’t understand. Dan takes more pictures.

Dandelions pop up in the spring, it’s a weed and essentially Phil should get rid of it, but he keeps them as a reminder that even in the most dire situations something beautiful can come out of it. Even if it’s small and simple.

vi.

With spring and dandelions comes a phone call.

“She sounded hopeful,” Phil says to Dan, their hands are intertwined as they stand in the hallway, the light just barely hits Dan’s face, and Phil lifts his hand to cup the side of his cheek, “It’ll be okay,”

They’re approved adopters and foster carer’s, a double whammy as their case worker had said over the phone looking at their qualifications. They had a nice house, a good income, a nice backyard, and they loved each other. Though Dan and Phil knew enough to know that sometimes love wasn’t enough when it came to this sort of thing. It came down to the parents and the court with what happened to the child. Phil wanted to be hopeful, and Dan wanted to be realistic, they had weighed each other out.

Dan remembers to grab the stuffed animal that’s been kept hidden in their room at the bottom of their closet and he holds it close to him while they sit in the back of the taxi. Phil isn’t one to really hold hands in public but his hands are shaking and he needs to be grounded. So they hold hands on the way.

They only know her name. Aaliyah.

The first time they meet here they get on her level and they hand her the stuffed bear that used to belong to Dan, and Phil will give her his blanket that he had kept since when he was a child. His mother always said that it would be passed down to his future children. Even if the future with this child is quite uncertain. They can’t help but fall in love when she bops Dan and Phil’s nose with the bear’s nose. They laugh. And it makes her laugh.

She has outrageous curly hair, green eyes, and an infectious smile.

For now she’ll be in their home long term with plans for adoption. While they’re hopeful that she’ll be in their forever home with them there are still things that need to be done, and battles to be fought. For now they enjoy being able to really pick her up and call her theirs.

When they ask her what her name is, she says, “A-way-uh!”

They laugh some more.

vii.

They have a house. They go on walks. They go to visitations. They fight, and they cry, and they rock each other back to sleep. There are arguments that last days, sometimes in silence, sometimes in tears. There’s barking, and falling on concrete, and there’s plasters with hello kitty on them. There’s sippy cups that have already been cleaned, and there’s milk spilt, and a high chair that needs still has food from this morning. There’s aching backs and legs that need to rest, but there’s also open arms and cuddles, and hugging that last for what feels like hours. There’s falling asleep during the sixth time of watching Paddington because Aaliyah likes the bear.

There’s vacations in Brighton, and seashells given as personal gifts from Aaliyah. There’s photographs and scrapbooks and words and phrases that she’s learning. There’s Aaliyah in the middle of Dan and Phil, holding one hand and begging to be swung. It’s gentle, easy, and hard all at the same time.

There was a space in their heart. And it was filled with things, and names of people and places they’ve loved and- love.

And there’s Aaliyah.

She loves bubbles, and Zeus’ tail, and she cries at night because of things that she doesn’t quite understand yet but will someday. She sleeps right in the middle, one body part touching dad and dada, she can’t sleep without her bear and blanket. She cries when Dan leaves and screams when Phil goes away, it’s the separation anxiety, the therapist said who comes once a week. There’s some brain development issues but it’s nothing too bad, and it’s nothing that severe- and even if it was they’d still love her anyway.

Soon is now. And soon is the future.

viii.

When they find out that she can handle holding Zeus’ leash is around the same time they find out that she can officially be adopted.

There’s cake and celebration in the backyard of their forever home, she’s wearing a dress that Phil’s mum had bought and a hair band that Dan’s mum had given. Dan and Phil match accidentally again.

Flowers are blooming, and Aaliyah picks one for each grandmum and Phil can’t be mad about it because it’s a special day in their lives. He looks at Dan who’s looking at their daughter, and thinks that out of all the good days he’s had, and out of all the things that Dan and Phil have created and collectively owned together, this was by far the best thing in their life. He’ll tell him he loves him later tonight. Right now Aaliyah is running up to him wanting to be picked up because after a while big groups get a little overwhelming and they’re both a safe place for her to land.

ix.

New traditions are made, and additional stocking is put up over the fireplace and Santa gets switched off every year they’ve decided. She listens to Radiohead when she’s colouring, and has often two different styles and colours of socks on (by choice). She fits in their lives like a missing puzzle piece.

There’s still room in their heart for more.

For now -- this is good. It’s good.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #phan fluff #parent phan #parent!phan #lord i need to stop posting so late when i havent slept or have a beta #lol i tried i hope you enjoy #i loved writing this #it felt therapeutic

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