#but it still never felt quite right. its been almost 6 years and I haven't gotten used to it

[myname-isnia]

Suiren may be an almost direct projection of me, but there is one very big difference between us:

Suiren: While you couldn't torture this information out of her, she's desperate to be called by her real, full name. She's been denied it for so long that hearing someone call her Suiren in a loving tone immediately makes her melt

Me: If you call me ***nia I will not hesitate before ripping you to shreds

[lifeofagirlnameddan]

This Life (Prt 2)

(I've reached my word limits whoops) So where was I? Ah yes, so I said my goodbyes and asked Cat for one last favor. If he could contact my cousin to let her know I was at the park waiting for her. After that she found me and I broke down in her arms, I gave the man back his phone and thanked him for bringing me to my cousin. (by the way same one I've been mentioning all this time) She took me back to her place and we explained to her parents (Leaving out the fact that I rode a motorbike and had a grab driver drive me here, they all still believe I walked all the way there and got through the security guards of the subdivision) They took me in and told my dad what happened, my dad then told my mom where I was... I refused to go home so I stayed in their house for almost a month. I was getting quite used to living with her... But mom called me back home despite me not wanting to. I felt ashamed, unloved, and all that shmuck. Anyway she still came to get me and I was brought home, we spoke and cleared things up. Oh yes I am still in trouble. But she forgave me anyway. It was a very constant reminder that...She as a mother forgives me despite the fact I've done this multiple times, its always a guy! But I did my best to make it up to her and win her trust back. Six months passed and I still haven't reached out to anyone, I wanted to continue writing my stories so I did, I was in my google docs and...I kind of missed talking to my friends J and A (A is a girl I've been friends with since 4th grade all the way to grade 6, then I left for homeschool right? Well as soon as we turned grade 8 She followed along and went homeschooling, there was a time that I couldn't handle J's art requests so I referred him to A and my cousin, the four of us clicked and we've been friends ever since) But I wasn't able to talk to them after the whole problem right? So my cousin became my messenger, I'd send her emails and messages to relay to J and A, until we decided to just lay it all out on a google docs, I was in my Harry Potter phase that time so I joked about my cousin being my owl, and the google docs sheet as the Owl inventories... That name stuck ever since. We would chat there, IN GDOCS! and we would write stories together and all that. Soon after I was allowed a phone a g a i n, this time I can be trusted! I spoke to my friends in Instagram, (We call ourselves the Owls!) then we got to making a discord server, and eventually we all just grew closer and closer, It seemed like life is brighter now in a way... 2022 was ending soon, and my mom wanted me to go back to a regular school before senior high, so grade 10 I enrolled in a school that... I attended when I was 4 years old from Nursery until 2nd grade (Context I've been to 3 schools in all my life so far. 1st school was Nursery to 2nd grade, 2nd school was 3rd to 6th grade, Homeschool 7th-9th and then going back to the 1st school for grade 10) So I did, and you'll never guess what happened after...

July 2022

Before school started (It starts September) I joined a free workshop lyrics writing class, there I met Teacher R. He was a kind old teacher whose been teaching there for years (Actually they said he was my old music teacher but I dont remember him at all) In that class was my one other face to face classmate, F. At first I thought F was a teacher, nevermind he was a 12th grader! Not only that he was the Student Council President, Class President and Top student! So wow I thought, I get to meet and be friends with someone who would give me advantage to adjust in this school life again hooray...I thought we were equal when it came to music...nevermind he played ukulele, guitar, he can sing...and play the piano! When he played the piano my competitiveness arose, and I asked who taught him... It was none other than Teacher R! So I asked him to be my teacher, and I took up piano lessons, so starting every Tuesdays and Thursdays after class, I'll head down to the school's piano room for my piano lessons...

Sept2022-2023

I return to my old school, wow did it look familiar at the same time all so different! When did they install an elevator?! I thought wow cool, I'm probably gonna like it here, I found out that some of my old friends I've known since what--diapers? Nursery! Were still there, most of them were still there and only a few unfamiliar faces. I was a returnee student so some of them knew me and some didn't, There was also a new girl who enrolled along with me, Y. She's a Japanese girl who came to our country to study English. Problem is... This school require students to study CHINESE. Me and Y became classmates for our Chinese classes, with that we became good friends. After Chinese class I would go down to the piano room and she would follow along and hang around while I'm learning. A few days of that happened and eventually another girl approaches me, she's Cz. She became a really good friend to me and honestly I love her. The piano room soon filled with more new friends, the most frequent one who tend to make it their routine to join me as I take my piano lessons was Y, Cz, S, Rat, and Ax. Oh they were such fun friends but there was a growing problem... I started becoming really close with S... thats bad, i denied anything and said oh of course we're just friends (We were....WE ARE! Its just theres a bit of something?) And the problem was... Cz also started to like S! SO OH NO-- Two for one is not a good deal guys... So many problems happened but me and Cz never fought, we would give away our desires and would step back for the sake of the others happiness. S on the other hand was confused. S liked me (i didn't know that) and I liked S. We hung out together in a mall (Was it a date--) after that I didn't feel like it was working and Ax was just putting thoughts in my head that confused me all the more... So I distanced myself and Cz confessed to S... Confused, S confessed back to Cz and they became mu. They didn't date, but it was painful to see them so close together before... Eventually Cz realized she didn't like guys who liked her back (Red flag behavior but I love her back off, I'll protect her with my life) And we all took time to sort things out, eventually Me and S became friends again and got closer and closer, bonding over cosplay and anime and we planned to go to a con with a group of friends. So we did. We went to the con and we've been establishing that no feelings, just friends, just friends and nothing else... That con is a curse. The place was crowded, the lines were long, the sun was shining and it was really hot. From the lines the sun hit my eyes...ah...S gave me his jacket to cover my head... Okay thanks... As the line moves we were getting tired standing for hours to get in, S leaned on my backpack... his arms draped around my shoulders, (was I blushing or its just the heat) We got in and we stayed to watch a valorant match. Ah oh no... we got separated from our group of friends, we push our way through the crowds...I hold on to his backpack. It's really hard to do navigate this way... He took my hand and said it's just so we won't get lost. Ah so our friends are on the second level of the building, and there is only two escalators on each side, and both have really...really...really...long lines. So we stayed lining up, tired so tired... He was basically hugging my neck as he leans on me, oh my mind was racing indeed. we're just friends, we're just friends, we're just friends,we're just friends... In my head I would fight my battles, everytime his hand brushed my shoulder I would ask him what is he doing? You know what he'd do? (He's an MMA enthusiast, He loves to box, wrestle, sword fight, do martial arts and stuff) He'd CHOKE HOLD ME JOKINGLY Like I will bite your arm if you do that one more time! We're such goofy friends, I liked our dynamic, we understand one another... I like his personality... His laugh... everytime he would geek out and ramble on about robots, swords, video games and anime I just couldn't help but listen and find him interesting.

[hotchnerxo]

Holiday Insecurities (One shot)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x OC Coral Bennett Words: 5.2k (I got super carried away) Summary: Holidays have never been easy for Coral. But meeting her boyfriend's family for the first time around the holidays can be a new Christmas ritual for them. Hurt/Comfort/ DomesticFluff Warnings: A lot of discussion involving food and eating. Internalized fatphobia. Insecurity involving weight and size. A/N: This is first time writing my OC Coral, who I have fallen in love with. This is a nice challenge, writing in Me pov. There might be some grammar errors, feel free to point them out. I will be starting a longer OC fic sometime soon, so here's a little taste of that. Happy Holidays to everyone celebrating! Love yall!

Holiday Insecurities

I have never really been a big fan of christmas. Not even as a kid. It has always felt like a hassle, just stressing over things too much. About presents, about having a lot of food around, yet at the same time stressing about eating too much food. About relatives and family, about conversations and how to avoid different topics in said conversations. All the stress overtaking the joy and relaxation the holiday is supposed to be about.

And ever since my teenage years, it’s become even more and more unpleasant. I was a late bloomer, in a way. I was never really interested in dating as a teenager, but were more excited about studies and finding a career I would enjoy. That topic was often frowned upon in my family, though. I have always wanted to become a journalist, ever since high school, but my mother has always been excited about getting grandchildren and her only daughter to follow her footsteps to the most fulfilling career of all: a mom.

On top of that, I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 19, and started to eat antidepressants regularly, which were a major help for my own well being. This, too, was frowned upon, especially in the early 2000’s. As long as I would find the right man and just started to smile more, I would do great in life. Thanks mom for that great advice.

Even though the new medicine was a great help, and still is, during the first year I’ve gained almost 40lbs. That on its own is hard for a young woman, not to mention how annoying and hurtful it is to hear about it from your own family constantly. To mom it was a hard pill to swallow, because according to her, no man would ever want a woman my size. And she makes sure to bring it up whenever I visit. That usually being the holidays.

For years, I haven't been close with my parents. I do have an older brother, Cameron, who I love and my parents treat him like the perfect child. He’s got a wife of 6 years and a young daughter who just turned 3 about a month prior. We have only 2 years between them, but our lives are so different now, pushing us further from one another.

I don’t mind. Quite the opposite, actually. I have felt more free. Free to be myself, enjoy my own life, spend time with friends and focus on my career. But the holidays tend to bring these insecurities back up, no matter how I try to avoid them. And seeing my parents and brother yesterday, on Christmas eve, for sure didn’t help. It’s hurtful to have your own mother asking if “you should be eating that?” about whatever I had on my plate. Just because I’m not thin like my family, according to mom, I shouldn’t be eating anything that isn’t celery and carrots. Yet, she thinks that her comments are totally fair and justified, I’m just too sensitive about everything.

A knock on the door startles me from my thoughts, even if I had been expecting it to happen any moment now. It’s Christmas day and my boyfriend of almost five months is about to pick me up to come celebrate with his family and friends. I’ve been anxious about it all day, more than I’d like to admit.

I straighten up my red cardigan, take a quick look in the mirror and hurry to open the door. “Merry Christmas, Coral!” a little boy cheers.

“Merry Christmas Jack! Wow, you look so handsome!” I kneel down in front of him and offer him a hug, Jack was more than excited to give it. I have only known the boy for a couple of months, but the 7-year-old has captured my heart completely. I ruffle the boy’s dark hair, right before the boy zooms off to find my cat, Romeo.

I brush the fallen strands of my red hair behind my ear. I took a mental note to fix my hair before leaving, the hair clip clearly wasn't tight enough to hold it all. I straighten back up, now looking at the other man on her door.

The man looks amazing. To be fair, he always does. He’s wearing a tight black button up, neatly tucked in his dark blue jeans. It was such a relaxed look on him, which was refreshing. And most important of all, he had a big smile on his face that brought his dimples out. He’s clearly gotten some well needed rest as the dark circles around his eyes were nearly non-existent. His dark hair was neatly brushed, yet a couple of stubborn strands didn’t obey his orders. I could feel my heart fill in awe.

I go to wrap my arms around his neck and raise on my toes to reach in for a kiss. He puts his large hands on my hips, which at the moment I am awfully insecure about, but I try to ignore it. He firmly pulls me close to kiss me deeply “You look stunning” he whispers as he parts. His eyes basically sparkle as he speaks, leaving me all flustered.

“Right back at you, handsome” you run my palms to straighten up his collar, even if it didn’t need fixing. I just want to feel the fabric between my fingers. Jack’s cheery voice makes me turn my head towards the bedroom, where apparently the boy has wandered off to.

“Merry christmas, mr cat!” Jack cheers and I can’t help but laugh. I hadn’t realized how much I needed a laugh right now, to ease my nervousness. Even if it was just a little chuckle, the tension on my shoulders relaxed a little bit.

And hearing Aaron laugh made it even better. He isn’t a big fan of christmas either, but giving his son the celebrations he didn’t have as a kid is very exciting for him, too. “He’s been so excited all day” he smiles, not letting go, still holding me close to his body.

I love the way his hands are so firmly holding me in place and in a way possessive. But I feel my insecurities screaming in my head and becoming extremely aware of how his fingers are digging into my soft hips. I take a step back, away from his grasp, but try to keep the smile on my face. I don’t want him to worry about me today. Just a rough day, I’ll get over it.

“I’m a bit nervous. I hope they won’t hate me” I admit. You’ve met his teams earlier, but only briefly. And now, I’m going to spend the rest of my day with them all. And with my insecurities running wild today, it makes me nervous to see his friends and family, who are all so close to each other and kind. And it makes me nervous that they’ll judge me because I’m not in as good of a shape as they all are, and if I end up making a fool out of myself.

Aaron’s face turns into a frown but quickly it turns into a soft smile “they’ve been so excited to meet you properly today. Of course they won’t hate you Coral, why would they?” he asks, trying to find a way to ease my nerves. I shake my head and fall quiet, not sure how I’d explain my thoughts to him right now. I feel dumb for feeling the way I do. Damn holidays.

Jack runs back to his father. Apparently his mission was now complete, as he had gotten to pet Romeo. “Let’s go daddy! Let’s go!” he jumps up and down. “You’re going to meet my best friend!” Jack tells me with a similar spark in his eyes as his father had moments ago.

The boy goes to tell about his friend Henry as we leave the apartment. Like a gentleman, Aaron opens the door for his son first, then rushing to open a door for me. It always surprises me that men like him actually exist these days. And not just in fairytales. Aaron is the image of chivalry and it never stops impressing me.

The ride goes quickly, Jack talking about anything and everything on the backseat. Aaron’s holding his hand on my thigh as he drives, and I notice him looking at me every so often, making the butterflies in my stomach take flight. It’s so easy to be around him and I notice my nerves calming down.

Until we make it to the house. Although, it is more like a mansion than a house. My jaw drops as I see the house we’re pulling up to. It’s a huge white house with a nice yard, in a beautiful condition. I can’t help but look at Aaron, asking if he’s sure this is the right place. He nods, clearly finding my confusion amusing.

The nerves are back for sure.

We make our way to the door. I have a big bag on my hands filled with presents, Aaron has one on his hands, the other resting on the small of my back. The smaller Hotchner is filled with pride as he has a big bowl on his arms, a pasta salad he had made with his father earlier that day. He was so excited to be a part of preparing the dinner, like a big boy he is. Apparently the dinner is a potluck style, everyone bringing something. I didn’t know that, or I would have brought something as well, even if Aaron tried to convince me that just being there with him was more than enough.

The door swings open and a man you recognize to be David Rossi, the owner of this mansion greets us all with open arms. Literally. “Welcome welcome” he goes to hug Jack first, taking the bowl off his hands soon after.

“Merry Christmas Uncle Dave!” Jack grins. He quickly enters the house before David gets to answer and tosses his jacket on the floor and goes to take off his shoes.

The olden man turns to his best friend and they share a hug “Glad you could make it”

“Of course” Aaron answers with a smile. “You remember Coral” he turns to look at me and softly soothes his hand on my arm, encouraging.

“How could I forget! Welcome, so happy you could make it as well” he comes to greet me with a hug too and a theatrical kisses by my cheeks. I’m taken by surprise by his embrace, but I welcome it. David opens the door and Aaron waits until I enter before him, following close behind me.

“Jack” Aaron calmly calls for his son, who had already disappeared from his view. Fast footsteps lead back to his father. “Forgot something?” he asks, gesturing towards the fallen coat on the floor.

“Sorry, daddy!” Jack quickly goes to pick it up and put it on the coat rack before running back off. Giggles fill the room as Jack returns to his friend who had been waiting for him all day, too.

I’m quickly meeting up with the other guests, most who I have met before. Only one of them I haven’t met before, but before I get to do anything, the woman runs up to me and introduces herself as Savannah. And detecting from Derek’s hand being so close to her’s, she is most likely with him tonight. They’re a cute couple, can’t argue with that.

Everyone’s gathered around the living room area, sitting on the couches and armchairs, Jack and JJ’s son Henry were gathered around the christmas tree, whispering to each other, probably trying to think what Santa has brought them. Me and Aaron are the only ones standing, except for David who was working around the kitchen. I feel a little out of place, being the newest addition. But I’m glad there are some perks being the boss’ date, no one would probably feel comfortable asking too probing questions.

It’s clear that Aaron has noticed my nervousness as he runs his hand in circles on my back “Everything alright, hun?” he asks quietly. I’m glad he’s so reassuring and calm and most of all, staying by my side. I’ve been left alone in situations like these way too many times and end up super uncomfortable and awkward. I just nod as an answer, I don’t want to draw more attention to myself, nor is anything even wrong. Holidays are just rough for me.

“Dinner is ready!” David announces from the kitchen. Aaron calls for Jack to go wash his hands and the youngest two head to the restroom to get cleaned up.

In no time, everyone’s got a plate full of food and a glass full of a beverage of choice. Most people have wine, myself and Aaron included. The kids are over the moon for a glass of soda. Everyone cheers around, glasses clinking. It’s lovely. It gets me awestruck how peaceful it all is, everyone getting along, laughing and talking about anything and everything. Nothing was off limits, no one had to worry about what to say in fear of someone getting upset. It was so new.

The food is also great. There was so much, well, everything. There was turkey, there was tofu, different kinds of salads and breads and side dishes. Trying my best to be mindful of my portion, I still want to try everything. And I fear being rude to someone, if I don’t try something. Why is being social this hard today?

During the dinner, I try my best to enjoy the conversations and keep my insecurities away. No one here is going to judge me, no one here is going to care how much or little I eat or if I should be doing so. No one thinks anything bad about me. I try to remind myself of these things.

I try to focus on the laughter, the stories and smiles around. The way my boyfriend is relaxed next to me with a wide smile. He’s telling a story about how one Christmas, he and his team back then were stuck at the airport and the closest thing for a christmas feast was crappy coffee and pretzels.

Whenever Aaron has a hand free, he holds it on my thigh under the table or squeezes my hand. I love how much he enjoys physical touch, even if it is for a brief moment and he isn’t afraid of it even with his friends around him. He looks at me fondly every now and then and everytime it makes my heart melt. Especially if I join in the conversation, he looks at me the entire time, really paying attention, wanting to hear what I have to say. It’s almost strange, if I hadn’t gotten somewhat used to it being in a relationship with him. He’s a great listener and he always tells me how he wants to hear about my day, my thoughts and everything, no matter how small or boring it may be inside of my head.

Why aren’t there more men like him in the world?

“Are you from Virginia, Coral?” Jennifer asks after everyone’s talked about different kinds of holiday rituals they’ve had in their families.

I take a sip of my wine “I was actually born in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania but my family moved to Virginia right before I started High-School” I tell her, feelling everyone’s eyes on me.

“No way!” the blonde exclaims and she tells me that it’s where she grew up too. “What are the odds” she asks, rhetorically before taking a sip of her own drink. No one is surprised that Spencer actually knows the odds. It’s so fascinating how one of the youngest agents just somehow knows these things and can calculate it inside his head within seconds. And then there’s me, who would probably lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my body.

Time goes by, lost in conversation and good time. I go to look at my plate and realize it’s empty. I’ve eaten everything on it, and it was all delicious. But a part of me is screaming in guilt. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten that much, what if someone noticed. And worst of all, what if someone’s going to bring it up later. And I’ve had almost two small glasses of wine, I hope no one thinks I’ve had too much and think I’m bad company for Aaron. I hope I won’t embarrass myself in front of his family.

My thoughts spiral quickly, and I feel becoming shy, putting up walls in my head. Aaron’s hand is resting on my thigh but he is in deep conversation with Morgan about something that I can’t focus on right now. I put my own hand on top of his, and he offers me a quick smile before turning back to the conversation. Jack and Henry had gotten off the table already and were playing a board game in the living room.

“Coral?” I almost jump as I hear my name being called. “Are you alright?” Penelope asks next to me. Apparently I’ve zoned out and hadn’t heard something she was asking me about. I feel myself flustering but try my hardest to put my strong face on and nod.

“Yeah, sorry. What did you ask?”

“I was just wondering. Your name is so pretty and quite rare. Is there a story behind it?” I notice she has such pretty eyes and the frame of her glasses really make the color in them pop.

I feel my hand shaking and as it’s still on top of Hotchner’s, he’s probably noticed it too. “Oh, actually y-yeah” I stutter slightly as my nerves are taking over me. Aaron turns his palm to hold my hand, still in conversation with Derek the whole time. “When I was born, I already had bright red hair and my parents loved how it reminded them of the color of coral reefs they were a few years prior to me and my brother. So they named me after them”

“That’s such a beautiful name,” Savannah agrees.

Aaron had turned to me as well, listening to my explanation. I don’t think I ever explained it to him before. Or can’t remember the conversation, if I have. The conversation goes on a little bit longer before I can’t sit still any longer “Please, excuse me” I apologize as I get up. I put down the napkin I had on my lap before on to the table and walk off to the bathroom I saw by the hallway.

As I lock the door, I almost feel my knees buckle beneath me. I lean my hands to the marble countertop and try to focus on the cool surface. A couple of shaky breaths laters, I’m ready to face my reflection in the mirror. Normally, I have come to love my curvier, fuller figure, but all I can see is everything wrong with it.

My eyes are bloodshot, on the verge of tears. My face is too round, my chest is too big and so is my stomach and thighs. The outfit doesn’t hide how bloated I am after all that food. Maybe I shouldn’t have eaten any of it, I should have found an excuse to not eat. I’m so big compared to everyone. Everyone’s so thin and gorgeous and in amazing shape, maybe I’m just an embarrassment and gr…

“Coral?” a soft voice spoke behind the door. I recognize it to be Jennifer, one of Aaron’s closest friends and who happens to be an absolute model-material. “Coral?” she knocks again and I realized I never answered her.

I clear my throat and try to sound as normal as I can. “Yeah?”

“Are you alright?” She sounds worried. Crap. I don’t want anyone to worry over me, I don’t want anyone to pay attention to me at my current, pathetic shape.

“Y-yeah” I stutter and curse the moment I opened my mouth. “I’m alright. Just one second please”

She seems to consider my words for a few seconds “Can you let me in?”

I fan my hands in front of my eyes, hoping the tears stay away. The door unlocks with a silent click as I turn it, thinking it’s better to let her in than worry anyone else. The blonde steps in swiftly and closes the door right behind her. Same kind of click echoes the restroom as the door is again locked.

It then hits me. I have just shared a table with a handful of profilers, who are basically mind readers to the common folk, like myself. Well, masters of human behavior, but that’s almost the same thing. Anyways. They have all probably been able to read me like an open book the whole dinner. Great.

“Holidays are just hard for me” I go to explain as Jennifer doesn’t say anything for a moment. She nods in understanding.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She leans her back to the countertop right next to me. She’s in no way threatening or pressuring you. I think she really cares.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to ruin your evening”

“You’re not ruining anything, dear!” she assures softly “I’m here as a friend. It’s what friends are for”.

Friends. Does she really consider me her friend already? That’s so sweet of her. I would love to get to know her better. She seems like a really lovely person and I know how much she (and the whole team) mean to Aaron and Jack.

I take a deep breath, trying to find the best way to explain things. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my family” I begin.

“But…” she leads my upcoming sentence.

“But, they don’t always think before they speak” I take another deep breath, trying to keep my voice from cracking. “They’ve never understood that not everything I am has to do about my weight or my size. And holidays are usually very centered around food. Everyone here is so super kind and all, but I can’t help but feel the insecurities resurfacing. I feel like I’m too big and I’ve eaten too much and I’m an embarrassment or something. Everyone’s so gorgeous and in amazing shape and I really don’t look like I fit in. I just hear my mom’s voice in my head over and over again basically saying that no one is going to love me at my size” I ramble. And it feels so good to actually say it out loud. To say out loud that it is your mother’s words, not your own.

“Okay, first of all. You are gorgeous” she smiles and turns towards the mirror, meeting my eyes through the reflection “Second of all, your mom’s words are absolutely trash. You are so so much more than the number on your scale or size of clothes. And trust me, you’re not the only one to feel like this, especially this time of year. It’s very common. But I want you to know that no matter what, we don’t judge you. You make Aaron and Jack so happy, that’s all we care about”.

I feel the tears building back up in my eyes, but I try to hold them back. I don’t want to ruin my makeup. I stand up straight and adjust my black tank top, tucking it better inside my high-waisted blue jeans. The fabric of my cardigan is soft and soothing as I fidget it with my fingers.

“Also, if you haven’t noticed, Hotch can’t keep his eyes off of you” Jennifer smirks. “He’s absolutely smitten by you, there is no way you could do anything to embarrass him. And so what, you’re bigger in size! You look incredible, and I know that Aaron more than agrees with me. But most importantly, I want you to know that your worth has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks. The most important thing is that you’re happy. If it pisses someone off, they’re not worth your time or energy” she continues and her energy is catching up to me.

“I appreciate that” I sniff and shake my head as if I was physically trying to shake away the negativity in my head. “I usually love the way I look, I love my curves. The holidays are just hard” I admit. Also, I just noticed that I never fixed my hair before we left, so I go to do it now. Twisting the front pieces of hair into a twisted braid and securing it with a few golden colored bobby pins. Much better.

“Good, you should love the way you look!” She hypes me up and I appreciate it more than I can put into words. She offers me a hug and I am more than happy to take it.

Few moments later, you’re ready to head back to the others. You and JJ walk to the living room, everyone’s gathered around on the sofas again and Jennifer goes to take a seat beside her husband Will and I sit next to my own man, who has worry written all over his face. I offer him a warm smile and squeeze his hand as I sit down. He raises his eyebrows as if asking a telepathic question to which I answer with a small nod; “yes, I am alright. For real this time”.

It’s time for presents and the boys are so excited to hand everyone their gifts. Henry hands me a heavy square gift that’s wrapped in beautiful golden and white striped wrapping paper. I quickly recognize the handwriting to be Aaron’s, who tries to look as innocent as possible next to me.

“This is for you, daddy” Jack runs over with a lot smaller box, wrapped in rich blue paper. It’s a really pretty paper and it’s wrapped really carefully. I made sure to spend a good amount of time to get it perfect.

“To me? Are you sure you’ve read that right?” he asks.

“Yeah” Jack assures. “It’s A-A-R-O-N. That’s you, dad!” I can’t stop my giggle as the boy spells out his name with such a concentrated look in his eyes. And the way his eyebrows furrow mimics exactly the way his father does. Like father, like son.

Once everyone’s gotten their gifts, the room is filled with the sound of paper rustling and little oohs and ahhs.

“Go on, open it” Hotch tucks my arms as I’m frozen watching everyone opening their presents. I carefully open the delicate paper and reveal a book I’ve been wanting for awhile “I remember you talking about getting it some time ago” he admits and his eyes light up as he sees my excitement.

“Thank you so much! I’ve been meaning to get this for so long” I almost squeal, turning the book over to read over the back cover, for the sixth time ever. I’ve had Joyce Carol Oates’ Blonde -book in my hands many times at the bookstore. “But it's your turn, mister. You haven’t opened yours, either” It’s my turn to tuck his arm for an exchange.

With ease, he unwraps the gift, revealing a small jewelry box. He lifts the lid. “Wait, are these”

“Opals. Jack’s birthstone” I reveal as the man takes a more careful look. He takes out two rounded cufflinks, both stunning rich blue colored, much like the paper they were wrapped in earlier.

The man hasn’t yet found words but is still inspecting the box. “Wow, Coral. These are amazing. You didn’t have to” I know that. But once I saw them at the store, I knew I couldn’t leave without them. “Thank you” he kisses my warm cheek.

About an hour and a glass of mulled wine later, Jack climbs up to his father’s lap. He’s so worn out from the excitement and running around with his friend, barely able to keep his eyes open. “Are you tired, buddy?” Aaron asks, kissing Jack’s forehead. The boy hums as a yes, nuzzling against Aaron’s chest. Henry goes to his mom, exhausted as well. “I think it’s time for us to call it a night” he then says and gets up, still holding his son in his arms.

Hotch goes to help Jack put his jacket on as I feel a hand grasping me by my arm. I notice Derek with Savannah and David standing close to me. “I just wanted to say thank you” Derek speaks quietly. I’m not quite sure what he’s talking about. “Aaron speaks very highly of you and it’s really clear that you make him and Jack happy. It might sound weird, but thank you for being in his life. He deserves to be happy”.

I could burst into tears right then and there. It’s so sweet how they look out for their boss and friend like this, wishing all the best for him. I know they have gone through a lot and poor Jack lost his mother way too young. I turn to look at the man in question, zipping up his son’s jacket. It’s so clear how much Aaron adores his little boy and what a great father he is, even if he doesn’t always remember that himself. “He really does” I agree. I then join the Hotchners, pulling my own shoes on. Aaron helps my jacket on, once again, impressing me with his chivalry.

“I’m so glad you all could make it! Drive home safely” David smiles and waves at Jack. Aaron lifts him up again, Jack quickly resting his head on the side of his hero’s neck.

“Thank you for inviting me, too. This was no doubt the most fun I’ve had over Christmas” I say wholeheartedly. This is what family is supposed to feel like. I could get used to this. “Good night!”

Aaron wishes everyone good night, as well and opens the door. He helps Jack on the back seat and closes the door quietly. Before I get to enter the car, he pulls me close to him. His hands hold me by my waist, underneath my open jacket. I have to look upwards to meet his eyes as he is much taller than I am, but it is a small price to pay for such a great view. “Thank you for coming with me tonight” he whispers, his lips close to mine.

“Thank you for letting me”

His lips finally find mine as he kisses me so tenderly it makes my heart feel like bursting. “Merry Christmas”.

“Merry Christmas, Aaron. I love you” I say and he kisses me again, more passionately than earlier, before I even realize what I’ve said. It’s the first time I’ve said those words to him. I’ve wanted to, for a while now. But tonight, they just slipped out. I don’t regret it, though. Especially if they get a reaction like this from him.

The kiss leaves us both breathless “I love you, Coral”.

Taglist: @ssahotchsbitch @mayasreadingnook @rousethemouse @averyhotchner @ssamorganhotchner @kajjaka @reidsbookmark @thenewnormalforensicator @wheelsupkels @thedancingnerdmermaid ( mention or message me if you want to be added)

[local-cry-baby]

It's A Promise (Barry x Reader)

so sinnoh remakes (and premakes?!) has been confirmed and of course the first thing I had to do was write a short fic on one of my favorite rival of all time

Sorry but I had to ten year old me had a massive crush on this character lol

writing; short story

word count; 2781

genre; friendship & hurt/comfort (very subtle romance)

reader; gender neutral

au; takes place after the events of DPPt (also Barry has freckles if that counts)

summary; your plans for summer has been hijacked by a certain hyperactive boy

Image

Half asleep you heard the Starlys chirp and trill and the Kricketots chime in harmony with one another, announcing the arrival of morning. You shifted slightly in bed, pulling the covers closer to you and yawned. The best feeling in the world you believe was hearing the sound of the world rousing to the start of a new day and knowing you didn't have to wake up along with it. With a content sigh you roll on your side, slowly drifting off to sleep...

Tap! Tap! Tap!

You furrow your brows slightly at the sound but quickly relaxed, smiling softly to yourself...

TAP! TAP! TAP!

You assume it was just a Starly or two messing outside your window so you chose to ignore it, opting to pull the covers over your head. You sighed again, this time in annoyance, as you try to fall asleep...

Click! Scree!

"Psst! (Y/N), are you sleeping?"

Your eyes open in disbelief as you immediately recognize the voice and just process the fact that he happen to somehow open your bedroom window to ask the obvious. 'Say it ain't so.’ You turned to face your window to see Barry there, arms resting on top of the sill as he watched you with a curious expression which was soon beaming with excitement once he saw you. "Oh good, you're awake!" Like you weren't sleeping to begin with.

"Wha? Barry what are you doing here?" You asked groggily. "Aren't you suppose to be at Pastoria City with Wake?"

"It's summer, duh! Crasher Wake gave me the week off and since your school is closed for vacation I thought it was perfect to catch up and hang out together this week!" Barry had this lively vibe around him that practically made him glow like a ray of sun leaving you dizzy with exhaustion. You plop back in bed with a groan knowing your plans to sleep in till afternoon for the whole week was ruined. "So at first I was thinking of going to the Great Marsh like we use to for old time sake" Barry began as he climbed right in sitting at your windowsill. "But I heard today would reach the hottest temperature ever in Sinnoh history!"

"Really now?" You asked in a monotonous voice. How hot can it possibly be in the coldest region in the world.

"Get this, 72 degrees! Can you believe it?!" As someone who was born and raised in Hoenn, a region where temperatures can reach up to the high 90s during the late summer you weren't exactly impressed. "So change of plans! We're going to spend the day at Sandgem Beach so pack your things!"

You glanced at the digital clock on your bedside. It read 6:22AM. "Barry it's too early! Can't we go like at 10 or something?"

"No way! We have to go now otherwise it'll be full if we go any later!"

"When is Sandgem Beach ever full!? You can barely even call it a beach!" You turned away from your friend, wrapping yourself up in your blanket. You were not getting out of this bed.

"Come on (Y/N)!" Barry whined. "We haven't hung out in so long! I literally spent all night planning this week out and you're just going to turn me down?! If Lucas and Dawn were here they would've agreed in going!" You can hear the irritation in his voice but underneath it was a hint of dejection. Shortly after your journey with the trio came to an end things changed. Dawn moved to the Kalos region a year ago to continue her study on Pokemon and just a few months afterwards Lucas left to Unova for reasons unknown though you had a hunch that it had something to do with that officer Looker. Barry spend most of his days at Pastoria’s gym, training intensely with Crasher Wake. As for you your parents never supported your dreams of becoming a Pokemon Trainer and your battling skills were left to be desired so you dropped it to continue your studies and follow a more reasonable career.

Although you didn't look at him you can feel him gazing at you, presumably with a pout or with Lillipup eyes. You groaned in defeat. "Fine."

Barry barely let you finish your sentence as he responded, "Really? Awesome! Don't forget to bring your Pokemon along with you, alright? And don't show up late otherwise I'll fine you!" With that he jump out your window and let out a yelp. "Don't worry! I'm alright!"

You sighed, wondering how anyone could have so much energy so early in the morning as you practically dragged yourself out of bed to start the day.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Sandgem Town was quiet, the majority of the residents still asleep or just starting their day. You haven’t been in Sandgem in quite a while yet walking down the somewhat familiar road invoked a nostalgic feeling. You paused, looking at the houses on the street till you spot the familiar lab down the road. Professor Rowan’s lab. It almost felt like yesterday when you took your first step through Route 201 alongside your friends Lucas and Barry (although the latter practically raced his way there) to get here with your first Pokemon, Riolu. You couldn't help but smile at the memory before going on your way to Sandgem Beach. And, as you predicted, it was empty saved for Barry.

He stood at the edge of the boardwalk, his back facing you as he perform some stretching exercise. His team was already out of their Pokeballs, enjoying themselves. Infernape was meditating, Roserade, Snorlax, and Staraptor were sunbathing, Floatzel was swimming, and Heracross was attempting to bury itself in the sand, seeking warmth. Taking out three Pokeballs from your belt you released your team: Lucario, Lopunny, and Vaporeon. Your Pokemon looked around their surroundings before glancing up at you in surprise. When was the last time you actually brought them somewhere that wasn't home or your school’s campus? “Go on you guys. Have fun!” With that said your Pokemon went off to do their own thing.

Lucario sat beside Inferape, joining it in meditation and Lopunny bounded excitedly over to its long time crush, Roserade, the Bouquet Pokemon vastly annoyed that its peace was disrupted as it escaped from its crushing grip. Lastly, Vaporeon decided to take a swim, dipping into the ocean and blending itself into its surroundings, disappearing from sight.

The commotion between Lopunny and Roserade caught Barry's attention as he looked over to notice you. "Too slow!" He yelled running over to you. Not even giving you a chance to say something he grabs your arm and drags you over to the boardwalk. Once he lets go he begins to take off his shirt.

"Ready for what?" You asked.

“Barry!” You never saw your friend shirtless before so you couldn't help but feel flustered. Though he didn’t seem to care as he carried on anyways. As you assumed, Barry had a lean figure, what you didn't expect however was the amount of freckles he had. Although Barry had freckles dusting his cheeks and nose they were barely noticeable compared to the ones on his back and shoulders which were far more prominent. Realizing you were staring longer then normal you quickly turned away, trying to hide the awkward blush.

Luckily, Barry didn't notice. "Ready?"

"To swim!"

You look down at the blue water before dipping a bare foot in. It was ice cold. "It's freezing!" You exclaimed.

"It's not that bad!"

"Thanks but I pass" you said, waving a hand dismissively.

Barry pouted but it was soon replaced with a mischievous smile. "Alright then, suit yourself." He said, surprising you. Barry wasn't one to easily let things go without trying to convince you first. He's up to something, you know it. You were about to ask but he had already left your side as he jump right into the water, splashing you head to toe causing a sharp gasp to escape your lips from the sudden shock of being doused in icy water. Barry pop back up to the surface with a triumphant smirk, his bright eyes gleaming with playfulness.

"You suck!" You yelled causing him to laugh as he dived back underwater. Soaked to the bone there really was no point in staying out of the water in hopes of drying off soon, not with this cold breeze that made it impossible to warm up. You remove your hoodie and shorts revealing your (color) swimsuit before setting them down on the boardwalk and slipping into the water. Since you were already cold the frigid water didn't get to you, feeling more welcoming then before.

You looked around for your rival, trying to spot the blonde in the murky water but only saw his Floatzel which was lazily floating around. "Barry?” Something suddenly grabbed onto your ankle causing you to scream in surprise and flailing to get away, kicking away whatever touched you.

Barry appeared right beside you, clutching his left cheek. "Ow! Seriously?! You just kicked my face!"

"Well you shouldn't have grabbed me like that!" You said. He only stick his tongue out at you before swimming over to the boardwalk, crossing his arms and resting his head atop of it. You watched him as he stared up at the blue sky with a content expression, droplets of water clinging on to his hair as it shined in the morning light. Seeing him like this gave you the same flustered feeling from before. You couldn't quite wrap your head around as to why though. You’ve known him since kindergarten. So why all of a sudden you felt awkward around him?

"What’s up?" You didn’t even realize that he had stopped gazing up at the sky in favor of looking at you.

“What do you mean?” You said, turning elsewhere though it was in vain since he already caught you this time around.

“You were staring at me just now. It was pretty weird.” You try to think of something to say, mainly to defend yourself but to your relief he changed the subject. “So how’s school?”

You shrugged. “It’s alright. Senior year isn’t difficult compared to the other years since we’re more focused on applying for college.”

“Do you know where you want to go?” You noticed his words were a bit quiet and reserved unlike his usual chipper and noisy self.

“Well I was hoping to go to University of Unova since it’s known for having the best (career) course” you explained. “Though my parents aren’t too keen on me going that far so I might just stick to Goldenrod University.”

“I know that but...” He trailed off for a moment, thinking of what to say. “Can’t you just go to Canalave College instead?”

“Goldenrod!?” Barry’s sudden sharp tone made you flinch. “Why so far?” He was looking at you with a hurt expression that made you feel guilty despite the fact you didn’t do anything wrong. At least, you felt like you did nothing wrong.

“Well compared to Unova which is practically halfway across the world. Johto is just south of Sinnoh.”

“Barry, Canalave College doesn’t even have programs on what I’m going for.”

“Ugh, this is why I’ve always hated school” Barry grumbled, letting go of the boardwalk just to sink further into the water leaving just his eyes visible to you, glaring down at nothing in particular. He almost resembled that of a pouting child.

You didn’t understand why he was so upset about your plans or why he was trying to make you change your college decisions. Unless… “You don’t want me to leave?”

Barry barely let you finish your sentence as he quickly got up. “It’s not that!”

“Then what’s the problem?” You pressured.

At this point Barry wasn’t even looking at you, opting to just randomly glance around the area. “There is no problem! It’s just...” With a sigh he finally looked at you. Honey colored eyes stared at your (e/c) ones, his cheeks gaining a bright shade of pink. “I thought even though Lucas and Dawn left at least I still have you around.”

You couldn’t help but frown. You didn’t realize just how attached Barry was to you and the others until now. Naturally you felt bad but you certainly couldn’t change your plans for him either as much as it hurts you to see him like this. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would be this upset about it but it’s just how it is. Eventually we have to go our own way to live our lives. Right now you’re training with Crasher Wake to become one of the best Pokemon Trainer ever. At some point you’re going to leave Sinnoh to follow that dream, right?” He remained silent but nodded in response. “Just because we’re not going to be together like old times doesn’t mean we’re no longer friends. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I was being over dramatic.” You couldn’t help but smile when you saw his expression brighten. That was until he started giggling leaving you perplexed.

“Huh? What’s so funny?” You asked

“Sorry I just found the whole ‘you’ll always be my best friend’ bit kind of cheesy.”

“I was trying to cheer you up you douche!” You snapped unable to control your blush of embarrassment as Barry continued laughing. Seeking petty revenge you bought your fingers to your lips and let out a sharp whistle. Without warning your Vaporeon splashed out between you both before spouting water right in his face. He sputtered in surprise as he attempted to shield himself.

“So that’s how it’s going to be huh?” He challenged before calling for his Floatzel who immediately appeared by his side. Already getting the cue of what was going on the Pokemon retaliated by spraying sea water over you by spinning its propeller-like tails. Oh, it’s on now. Barry however was already a step ahead of you as he mounted onto his Pokemon’s back. “Good luck trying to catch me Slowpoke!” He taunted with a smirk before promptly swimming away from you. You knew Vaporeon was nowhere near as fast as Floatzel but you sure as hell weren’t going to let him get away so easily. You got on Vaporeon’s back and began swimming after the two, unable to contain the childlike excitement and determination you were getting from the chase.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

For the first time since you moved to the chilly region you truly felt the warmth of summer in Sinnoh. You and Barry sat on a bench right outside Sandgem Beach, not bothering to change out of your swimsuits as you ate popsicles and watch the afternoon go by. Residents glance at you both with odd looks since beachgoers rarely, if ever, visit their town but neither of you mind at all. After having that impromptu water fight you both decided to have a Pokemon battle, for old time sake. Of course you lost but you didn’t mind. Its been so long since you felt the fun and adrenaline that battles gave you that you completely forgot why you enjoyed them so much in the first place.

“Hey (Y/N)?” You looked at Barry who took a small bite from his orange creamsicle. “I know I said it was cheesy but is it true? I’ll always be your best friend no matter what?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.” You had just finished your (flavor) popsicle, dumping the stick in the trash can beside you. He remained silent and although he said he was fine you notice still a hint of sadness in his expression as he stared off in the distance. Placing a hand on his shoulder you diverted his attention to you as you beamed at him. “It’s a promise.”

There was a sudden shimmer in his eyes and you wonder if he was tearing up when he quickly rub at them. “It better be otherwise I’ll fine you ten million PokeDollars if you replace me!” You couldn’t help but giggle, Barry joining in.

“So what’s the plan tomorrow?” You asked.

“Well I was thinking the Great Marsh maybe. If you’re fine with that.”

You nodded. “I bet I can catch more Pokemon then you.” You smirked when his smile faded into an annoyed expression.

“As if! I’m totally going to kick your ass!” He said swatting away your hand when you attempted to ruffle his hair just to irk him.

Needless to say, you were pretty glad he woke you up this morning.

[buckyswheezes]

Cruel Summer (Pt. 1/2)

Premise: Steve was 7, Bucky was 6, and you were 4 when you became family. And it was in the summer of your last year in high school when things started to change.

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes / What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

author's note: First of all, this did not go the way I planned it to. Second, I was wrong; this isn't one-shot but a two-shot fic. Finally, I hope you guys like it. Again, @lokisblackwidow's post made me do this. Sorry if it's different from what you expected it to be.

warning: this fic contains cursing, sexual shit, and incest. Read at your own risk

It's been 15 years since your family moved to New York to start anew. The concrete jungle, skyscrapers, and bustling broadway shows were a stark contrast to California's tropical and easy-going nature. You were too young, though, to notice such things because you were just three years old at the time and mostly spent your time confused because you haven't seen your mom in a long time.

It's only been dad and your brother Steve for weeks now, and both didn't know how to tie your hair the way you like or read those bedtime stories you loved so much. Years later, you finally realized why -she died. The next thing you knew, you have a new mom and a new brother. It's been that way since.

"How's the college application going?" Steve's gruff voice came from the ongoing Facetime.

"I haven't had my breakfast. Can I please have my breakfast first?" You replied, annoyed. You didn't want to be reminded of that first thing in the morning. You slumped down on the seat beside your mom, and she handed you a cup of freshly brewed coffee. "Thanks, mom," You muttered.

Your dad sat on the other side of the table, flipping through the day's paper, and beside him sat Bucky, stuffing his face with bacon, completely ignoring the chaos around him. The empty seat beside him was where Steve sat (when he's home, that is, which was rare nowadays), but the tablet with his huge face plastered in it was placed on the space on the table, so it felt as if you were all still having breakfast together.

"Ooh, someone's grumpy."

"I'm gonna beat your ass when you get home." You threatened.

"Well, joke's on you 'cause I'm not."

"You're not?" Mom frowned.

Steve shifted to look at her. "I took a summer course this year, Biostats. It'll help with my thesis."

"You sure you're not just fonduing with Maryland girls in the summer?"

"Shut up, Buck. You're the playboy in the family, not me."

"Alright, boys!" Your mom chastised then turned to Steve again. "Well, you take care, and if you need anything, just give us a call."

"Will do."

Steve attended Johns Hopkins University -unarguably one of the best universities in America when it comes to Medicine. He'd always wanted to be a doctor, and even though he never said it, you knew it was because of your biological mom. He could've gotten into Harvard, but like you, Steve itched to get out of New York for a change of environment. It was only Bucky who didn't want to go anywhere, and so he attended NYU.

You love New York, no doubt about that. You grew up exploring its Burroughs, and the Central Park had been a staple in your formative years, but lately, you just wanted to get away from all of it. Recently, something changed, and you convinced yourself that it was because it's your last year in high school and you will be going to college soon.

But you knew there was something else. Well, maybe it was also because you turned 18 early this year, you're legal now, and with your going to college on the other side of the coast, you were excited to have a bit of freedom. CalArts was your first choice, being into Performing Arts and all that. Now, your parents weren't painfully strict, but being the youngest and only girl in the family, they couldn't help but be a little protective.

When Steve went to Baltimore two years ago, you were quite relieved. You get it; you're his only sister, but the way he used to hover around and scare away boys grated your nerves. You were just thankful that by sophomore year, he was gone. He'd passed on the mantle to Bucky, but he didn't really care -well, not as much as Steve did.

"Dad, don't forget you're picking me up later after school. I can't be late for my rehearsal." You reminded. Across the table, your old man's jaw dropped.

"I'm sorry, honey, was that today?"

"Uhh yeah, you forgot already?"

"Sorry, it slipped my mind, honey. How about you pick her up, Buck?" He turned to your step-brother.

"What?!" You shrieked in unison.

"I can't. I have stuff to do." He whined. You roll your eyes at his lame excuse.

"No, it's fine. I'll just ask Peter to come with me."

"Who's he, your new boyfriend?" Bucky spat.

You glared at him across the table. "No, he's not. I don't even have a boyfriend; you and Steve made sure of that." You downed the last of your coffee before shooting daggers at him once more. "Don't pick me up. Go do your stuff."

"Bucky…" It was mom's turn to speak.

"Fine!" He grumbled.

————

"Bye, Peter. See you around!" You stood up from the bench where you and your friend sat as soon as you saw Bucky drove up the school's entrance.

You don't know what your step-brother's problem was, but lately, he'd been nothing but irritable and annoyed, especially with your presence. You didn't wait for him to call you, so you jogged as quickly as you could across the schoolyard, silently climbing on the passenger seat as soon you reached where he pulled over.

You cast a wary glance at him; he didn't speak to you since you got on. He didn't even acknowledge your presence. His jaw was set, and he was intent on ignoring you, it seems, for the duration of the ride.

You and Bucky weren't always like this. You two were close; you played a lot when you were kids, you built forts, you wrestled, you chased each other with whatever gooey stuff you put your little hands on. Over the years, he became distant. You'd started to feel distant when Bucky and Steve entered junior high -you just couldn't relate to the stuff they talk about anymore. You're still very close with Steve, but with Bucky, he just drifted further away, especially when you entered high school. Bucky was only two years ahead, so you always saw him around during your freshman year. He was very popular, it seems. Senior girls used to befriend you in hopes of getting close to your step-brother.

You couldn't take it any more of his animosity, so you fully faced him, shifting in your seat. "Have I done something wrong, Buck?"

He looked at you incredulously for a second before turning his attention back on the road.

Annoyed at his lack of response, you hit his shoulder with your fist.

"What the hell y/n! I'm driving. Do you want us to die?!" He growled.

You retreated back to your seat, feeling remorseful for a second. Only for a second, then you burst out crying. "I hate you! I wish you're not my brother!"

You heard him chuckle, but he obviously wasn't amused. "Yeah, wish you weren't my sister too."

———

Bucky was in his last year in high school when he noticed it. He was waiting outside the school library because you said you needed to borrow a book before the two of you go home.

When Steve went off to college, he promised he'd look after you. He noticed firsthand how guys from all grade levels flock to you, hoping they'd catch your attention. Now, Bucky knew what these guys really want, and that's to get in your pants. Over his dead body would he allow that to transpire. So you two always walked home together.

He craned his neck to peek through the giant doors, wondering what's taking you long when he saw you chatting with a guy. His brows furrowed while his lips formed a thin, grim line.

Your smile reached your ears, your eyes glistened in obvious delight, and your cheeks flushed. Your shy gaze was directed at the guy in front of you.

Bucky frowns even more, when the guy ruffled your hair, a gesture that only he has the right to do (he believes). He felt a vein in his head pop in irritation. He felt like punching someone.

"Hey, Buck, let's go!" You chimed, pulling him out of his murderous thoughts.

"Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, that's Stephen. A junior in the dance club." You almost giggled.

"Huh." He scoffed.

The next time he noticed it happen was when he stayed around to watch your cheer dance rehearsals. Your skimpy cheerleader outfit didn't leave much to the imagination; that's why he decided to hover around, ready to pounce on whoever looked at you the funny.

Bucky looked away for a second to glance at his phone when screams filled the schoolyard. The next thing he knew, you were in the air -free-falling. He ran as fast as his feet could take him to catch you, his heart pounding in his ears. Fortunately, someone was there to catch you before you hit the ground.

You fell on top of the guy -Stephen. He gritted his teeth, half-annoyed, half-grateful at the piece of shit. He saw how you stayed on top of him for a few seconds more; furiously blushing. The moment he reached you, Bucky yanked you up and from the guy's body.

"You okay?" He fussed, searching your body for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine, Buck. Stephen caught me." You bit your lip as you shyly looked back at the guy. "Umm, thanks again."

"Yeah, thanks, man," Bucky grumbled, pulling you away from the group.

The way your body rested on another guy just didn't sit well with him. Once again, he felt like punching someone, and that someone is Stephen. He hated the way the guy was always around you. Bucky was sure what his motive was, and he'll never let him get it.

"I want ice cream." You muttered later that afternoon on your way home.

Bucky scoffed at your request. "What are you, five?"

You stopped walking and faced him, a pout on your lips. "Steve always buys me ice cream."

"Well, I'm not Steve."

"Please, I fell off someone's shoulder and almost hit my head. What if I died?"

"What has that got to do with ice cream?"

"I hate you. You're the worst brother, ever."

Bucky chuckled at your antics; he knew you didn't mean it. You just say that to get what you want because when you were kids, Steve and he used to compete for the Best Brother Award. "Fine." He conceded with a smile. He grabbed your grabbed, and you both ran to the nearest ice cream parlor, ordering one big bowl of banana split sundae and stuffing your faces.

Bucky's whole body tensed when your moans filled your ears. He didn't mind it back then, you were young and innocent, but now, Bucky couldn't ignore the sound spilling from your mouth. Sweat dripped down his nape.

This isn't right.

Your moans seem to ring louder in his ears. The way you licked your spoon clean was not helping his situation either. Bucky thinks about the thin line between sanity and insanity when the chocolate syrup trickled from your lips down to your chin until it reached the supple skin of your neck.

"I need to go to the bathroom." He muttered and hastily jolted from his seat, scrambling away from you. Bucky has a growing problem inside his pants, and he needs to take care of it.

Stop this, Bucky, you need to stop this! His mind chastised while his hands unbuckled his belt. You shouldn't feel this… this way towards her. He's your step-sister. It's wrong.

As soon as he reached his release, he made up his mind. He'll stay away from you; kinda impossible since you both live in the same house, but he'll try his best for both your sakes.

Bucky stopped waiting for you after school. He stopped watching your rehearsals. He stopped helping you with your Math home works and, much to your mom's surprise, he started watching evening dramas with her in the living room every night.

So to answer your question, the one you shot at him when he picked you up from school that day. Yes, you did something wrong.

You grew up. And it's been hard for him to see you as his step-sister ever since.

——————

The last day of school finally rolled in, and you intended to enjoy summer before you start college. What you didn't see coming, though, was being left alone with Bucky for one whole week because your parents are going on a cruise.

"Can't I come with you?" You pleaded, eyes wide as you hauled your mom's baggage into the back of the taxi.

"Sorry, honey. Promise, we'll be back as soon as we can." She replied before giving you a hug.

"Don't leave me here. Bucky's gonna bully me all week."

"He won't, right Bucky?" She raised a brow at him, who stood with his arms crossed, looking annoyed.

"Try not to destroy the house while we're away." Was their final reminder before they went on their way.

Bucky was the first one to get back inside the house. Dread ate up your insides; you two haven't spoken since the car ride. You decided once and for all to get things straight with him. So you marched inside about five minutes later.

Bucky heard you barge in his room, but he remained still -eyes closed and pretending to be asleep. He jolted up when you unceremoniously hit his stomach with a pillow.

"What the hell, y/n?!" He snarled, clearly pissed at your assault.

Your nose flared at his attitude. "What is your problem, James Barnes?" You growled in return.

"Am I the one with a problem here?"

"Oh, come on! You know what I mean!"

Bucky pushed past you; you trailed behind, following his figure towards the living room. He needed to get away from you, fast. It irked him that you wouldn't stay the fuck out of his way. You'd even come and gone into his room. Bucky couldn't take it; he'd go crazy.

"Why are you avoiding me? Bucky!… Bucky! Answer me, damn it!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, y/n. So, leave me alone." He was about to reach the door when you threw yourself in front of it, barring his way out. "Move."

"NO! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong." You crossed your arms, planting your feet firmly on the floor. You weren't gonna let this day end without knowing why Bucky acts the way he does. If it was something that you did, then you'd wholeheartedly make it right, but you'll never know if he keeps on brushing you off. So, here you are.

"Y/n, move." Bucky hissed menacingly."

"No, Bucky." You replied in the same manner.

After your brief glaring contest, Bucky finally looked away, sighing in defeat. "Fine. Something's not right, okay? But it's not you, it's… it's… me, so let me handle this myself."

You relaxed and took a step closer to him. "Can't you tell me? I might be able to help."

Bucky looked away. How could he possibly tell you that he's harboring un-brotherly feelings towards you -his step-sister. How could he possibly tell you that you turn him on, that he's having inappropriate thoughts about you for a year now? How could he possibly tell you that he might be falling in love with you?

All those times you spent together when Steve was gone. The times you intently and genuinely listened to his adolescent problems. The times you cheered for him when he played football in high school. You were his number one fan. You were so different from the others, and he hated how it made him look at you differently. He hated when you boys started coming into your life. He always believed that you had a special place in your heart for him, but now he feared that anyone might snatch that place from him. You were his best girl.

Bucky grimaced at his realization. He finally admitted to himself that he is, indeed, falling in love with you. He felt angry at himself. How could he let this happen? He thought he was in control of his emotions.

"Eventually, I'll tell you. But not now." He said softly, hoping you'd let him go.

But you were persistent. "No, Bucky. I want you to tell me now." You demanded.

"Y/n," He growled loudly this time. "Move out of my way!"

"I won't until you tell me."

"Move!"

"Just tell me!"

Bucky's resolve broke. The sirens in his mind went off, but he ignored them as he strode towards you intently. He smirked when your bravado faltered before vanishing completely when he pushed you against the door; your bodies pressed together, making sure you could feel the tent growing against his pants.

Your eyes widened in shock. "Wha-"

"You wanna know why? Huh," He asked through gritted teeth, his face hovered dangerously close to yours that you could feel the hot breath coming through his nose. Bucky didn't give you time to answer because he roughly crashed his lips towards yours. He wasted no time shoving his tongue inside your mouth.

Bucky could feel your hands against his chest, pushing him away. He could hear the muffled pleas of protest as he relentlessly assaulted your mouth. His lips left yours only to find themselves on your neck, sucking on your skin.

"Bu.. Bucky.. stop.. s-s-top." Tears cascaded down your cheeks, but you were frozen in spot, unable to wipe them away.

But Bucky ignored your appeal. He continued sucking your skin while his hands traveled your side, feeling you up. When he couldn't get enough of you, he bit the skin on your shoulder.

You yelped in pain. "Stop! Stop, get off me!"

Still, Bucky did not listen. Dissatisfied with his actions, he dragged and threw you towards the couch; he straddled over you, your hands pinned on the cushion. You squirmed beneath him, trying to escape his hold.

Bucky pulled your shirt up and found his lips back on your skin again; this time, he latched on your erect nipple and sucked as if his life depended on it. When he was done abusing both your buds, he moved to kiss your lips again, but your tear-stricken face met his eyes.

Bucky went stiff as a board, and you used that opportunity to push him, backing off as far as you can from him. Your loud sobs filled the house as you sank to a pool at your feet, hugging your knees to yourself.

You couldn't believe what your step-brother had done. Your mind couldn't begin to fathom his actions.

Bucky sat motionless, his horror-struck at his deed. He bit back the long line of profanities that ran inside his head as he stared dumbfounded at your crumpled figure.

A painful pang of guilt washed over him like a tidal wave. What had he done?

"Y/n.. I-I'm… I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He said and scrambled out of the house.

Bucky didn't come home for three days while you spent it in a daze.

Bucky kissed you; he put his tongue inside your mouth. He touched you in your private parts. He sucked on your nipple while you lay beneath him. He held you like a lover would.

But he was your brother; why would he do that?

The sound of the front door opening pulled you out from your thoughts. Your gaze met Bucky's; he had dark circles around his eyes, and you wondered briefly whose house he crashed when he didn't come home.

"Bucky…" You stood from the couch and approached him.

Bucky liked that about you. You were brave and face things head-on; you're not one to back down, just cause you were scared. But he doesn't think he could handle you right now, not after what he's done. He walked past you, intent on ignoring you.

"After what you did, I at least deserve to know the truth, don't you think?"

Your words hit home. You were right; you deserved at least that much. Sighing, he turned back and sat down on the couch.

"I know this is downright wrong, but I'm in love with you, y/n," Bucky confessed softly, and he heard your small gasp.

"But, we're… I'm your sister."

"step-sister," He corrected. "I can't help it. I love you more than a step-brother could love his step-sister. I love you as a woman y/n. I tried to stop it, but it was hard."

You deserved to know the truth no matter how disgusting, condemning, or how sinful it was.

"I am still trying." Bucky continued, and this time, he gave you a firm look. "And I need, need you to help me."

Your heart skipped a beat. "What do you want me to do, Buck?"

"Stay away from me."

You pulled back in shock. "But-"

"No buts!" He hissed. "Can't you see how hard this is for me? You think it's easy to stay away from you when I love you?" He pleaded. "After this, I want you to stay away, don't talk to me unless it's a life or death situation."

"Mom and dad will notice."

"Then don't make them notice." He got up and approached you, then reached for your hand, clasping them together. "Please, y/n, you have to."

With a heavy heart, you nodded. Bucky moved and gave you a quick peck on the forehead, and it felt like goodbye.

Weeks quickly flew by, fortunately for the both of you, your parents didn't notice a thing. You bickered like you used to during breakfast, but both of you knew that it was forced. When they weren't around, which was much since both of them worked, you barely talked to each other and were barely left alone in the house.

Bucky spent most of his time playing basketball -his new hobby to get his mind off you. He's always gone during weekends playing with his college friend Sam Wilson. You saw the guy once when Bucky invited him to dinner with your family. After that, Sam can frequently be seen in the house. Your parents were cool with it since Steve didn't come home for summer.

One afternoon, Sam was there again; you could hear their banter all the way up to your room. However, what really bothered you though was the presence of a woman -Sharon. She's Bucky and Sam's classmate in one of their class, and along with Sam, she started hanging out at your house.

You groaned, annoyed. You couldn't focus on the application essay you were supposed to write with that woman's shrill voice downstairs. You slammed your fist against your study table, intent on giving the three a piece of your mind. You stood up and marched downstairs, catching their attention.

Sharon sat between Sam and Bucky, and they were pretty occupied with a mobile game before you came.

"Can you guys keep it down? You're not the only people in the house."

"Oops, sorry, y/n." Sharon squeaked.

"We'll keep it down," Sam promised.

You just nodded before glaring at Bucky, who did not even acknowledge your presence. You grumbled something before storming back to your room, slamming the door close.

Sharon and Sam ended up having dinner with them again. With Sharon seated beside Bucky, again. Your mom told them to drop by again. And, Bucky walked Sharon home, again.

And you were getting tired of this. You wanted to help Bucky, but you can't just sit back and watch him replace you with someone else. No, you can't allow it. This has to stop.

You waited for Bucky to come home; you were in his room sitting on his bed with a determined look on your face.

As soon as Bucky stepped inside, he was shoved against the door, making it slam close. He winced at the pain on his back, but he was startled and shocked when he felt your lips connect with his in a searing kiss. His first instinct was to push you away, but his desire got the better of him. His eyes slipped close, and he kissed you back passionately.

Bucky's thoughts were in a haze as both your lips danced with each other. It didn't take long for him to invade the warmth of your mouth, fingers tangling themselves into your hair, while your hands curled around the front of his shirt, trapped between your heated bodies.

"Why," He moaned before pulling away.

Your ragged breaths filled the room; you looked at him with glistening eyes. "I don't care anymore, Bucky. I don't want to lose you. I don't want to be replaced by Sam or Sharon or anyone else." A tear escaped your eye, and it cascaded down your cheek.

Bucky leaned down and kissed it away, the salty taste lingering in his tongue.

"I want you back, Bucky."

Bucky felt a painful tug on his heart at the sight. He loves you, but he was also the one making you cry. He cannot bear the thought of hurting you. He caressed your cheek and gazed at you lovingly, longingly.

"You're making this hard for me, y/n. For the both of us."

You shook your head once more and pulled his face close to yours. "I don't care anymore, James Barnes. Love me any way you want, just don't… don't leave me again."

Bucky froze at your words. He pulled away then grasped both your shoulders. "Y/n, you don't know what you're saying."

"I do. I'm not a child anymore. I want how we used to be; if accepting your love could get things back to the way it was, I accept it.

Bucky shook his head. "No,…no y/n, nothing will ever be the same if you let me love you the way I want to."

Your face visibly fell at his words. Feeling hopeless, you asked. "Why?"

"Why?" Bucky asked back softly. "Because unlike then, I'll kiss you more like this…" He started and gave you a sensual kiss on the lips. "I'll hold your hand like this…" His hand went to yours, and he intertwined your fingers.

"We used to do that when we were kids."

Bucky just hummed in response. "And I'll pull you close to me like this…" He continued and did just as he said. He pulled you against his heated body and inhaled your scent. "And you'll always ignite that burning feeling inside me, y/n. So, unless you get used to these things, I will not let you do this."

"But we used to do some of those."

"It's going to be a lot different now."

"I don't care. I'm used to it. In fact, I miss it. Don't ever leave me again, Bucky, please. I love you so much."

Bucky's eyes widened in surprise. He could feel the rapid beating of your heart against his. He pulled you in once more for a passionate kiss.

"I love you too, y/n. You don't know how much you make me happy."

[spencers-dria]

Turn for the Better

Someone To Stay Ch. 1

Spencer x fem!reader

Spencer POV:

I open my eyes and glance around the room. It's darker than I remember. I must have fallen asleep reading on the couch again. I glance down and see a pile of books on the rug. Oh yeah...I only made it through about four books this time before I nodded off. I sigh in frustration that I'm awake. Might as well get up I suppose.

I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge only to be met with a jar of peanut butter, week old left overs, and a half empty jug of juice. Next.

I try again with the pantry. Almost completely bare. I guess this is what happens when you stop going to the grocery store. I settle on a cup of apple juice and a bag of chips... better than nothing right?

I slump back down onto the couch and pull my green wool blanket over me. As I stare up at my ceiling, as I begin to let my mind wander. But this was dangerous territory. I have to keep my mind occupied, I just have to. So I quickly sit back up and turn the TV to one of my favorite Dr. Who episodes. They say that anxious people re-watch the same shows because they find the familiarity comforting. I could definitely understand the feeling.

It was the weekend, which meant I wasn't called into work. Cases had been slow lately, as we spent quite a bit of time doing paperwork back at the office. Unfortunately for me, this meant less distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. They are the only way I make it through the days anymore.

Things had finally returned to normal for me back at work. I was going into the field, and it felt like my coworkers were no longer tiptoeing around me. I hate when they do that, and it bothers me more than any amount of teasing ever could. I'm not so delicate, so easily breakable. Look at everything I have been through, everything I have endured. Yet here I am, still alive, still doing my job. I didn't need to be babied. So it was a relief when I felt the regular rapport I shared with my friends return. They had gone back to the sarcastic remarks and silly nicknames. I was grateful for it. They did, however, continue to check up on me. This was something that I did appreciate. They've seen me go down a dark road once before. I have no intentions of ever returning. I was stronger than that... I think. All I know is I have held on this long without resorting to any unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms...oh how I wish I had something to make the healing process easier. Having a fairly empty social calendar left me alone often. Normally I would find comfort in the peace and quiet of my solitary apartment, but not quite so much lately. I couldn't very well make plans to go out, and I wouldn't even know how to begin to do that. Who would want to hang out with me right now anyways? I'd be a damper on the fun, and everyone knows it. That's probably why my friends stopped inviting me to the nights at the bar.

There I go again, letting my mind slip into a dark hole of anxiety. Its not a safe place to be. I quickly turn my attention back to the show in front of me, letting it drown out all other thoughts.

The ring of my phone quickly draws my attention away. Finally...another case! I jump up to answer, seeing the name on my screen: Derek Morgan. That's odd. Usually Hotch or Garcia call to notify us of a new case.

"Hello?" I answer, confusion lacing my voice.

"Pretty Boy! Buzz me up!"

Well now I'm even more confused. Derek never comes to my apartment. I quickly press the button letting him into the building and opening my apartment door, waiting for him to arrive.

As he comes up the stairs, he gives me a grin shouting, "Come on man! Get dressed. We're goin' out!"

I roll my eyes and retreat back into the apartment, Derek close behind me.

I sink back onto the couch, my eyes glued to the television as I tune him out.

"Aw c'mon. Don't be like that. How long have you been sitting there watching TV? Have you done anything else today, at all?"

I don't answer, I don't even look at him.

"Oh, let me guess. You've been reading all day, huh?"

"Wow, can't get anything past you huh?" I say dryly, regretting my tone as soon as the words left my mouth.

"Alright that it. You've been cooped up in here too long. Like I said before, we're going out. And I'm not taking no for an answer" he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at me.

I finally look up at him as I roll my eyes.

"You know I can kick your ass right?" Derek smirks.

"Fine" I concede. "Well...where are we going? I don't know what to wear unless you tell me what our plans are."

"Don't pretend you don't wear the same fancy button ups no matter where you end up going."

I let out a small laugh...he's got me there.

"Dinner at Rossi's. I know pretty boys are high maintenance but, hurry up or you'll make us late!" I smile at the nickname. Same old Derek.

Y/N POV:

You let out a sigh of relief as you watched your coworker approach you, ready to receive report. It had been a particularly busy shift, and you were ready to get some much-needed rest. You walked to each patient room, giving Clementine summary of the day and the latest updates on labs and vital signs. You stepped into each room with her, checking one last time to make sure each of your patients was doing well and didn't need anything else before you left. Normally you and Clem would spend some time catching up and making jokes, but she could tell you were tired and needed to be home more than anything. You wished her good luck on her shift as you made your way to the break room. After putting away your stethoscope and the large collection of pens, pencils, and markers you kept in your pockets, you finally headed towards the elevator to leave for the day.

You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your dog, Juneau. She was a rescue you adopted a few months back. She still needed to make progress, but she had really warmed up to you and your friends and seemed much more comfortable in her new home. After feeding her dinner and taking her for a short walk, you heated up a quick frozen dinner and sunk into your couch.  Curling up in your blanket, you spent a few minutes browsing through different streaming services only to land on The Office, as usual.  Your mind drifts to what your next few days might consist off. You just so happened to land 4 days off in a row, but you had no idea how you would spend your time. You glanced down at your phone as it lit up.  It was your Uncle Will.

"Hey, whats up!" you chimed, glad to hear from your favorite uncle.

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm actually calling to invite you to a dinner some friends of mine are having tomorrow night. I know your schedule is real busy. But I haven't seen you much since you moved up here to Virginia! I know you haven't met many people here yet, but I think I can help you make a start. "

The kind gesture made you smile. You had always been fairly close with your father's side of the family. He had grown up in Louisiana and met your mother at a college in Texas. You spent your childhood in Houston but frequently visited the Cajun half of your family. Uncle Will had moved away once he fell in love with Jenifer Jareau, his now wife, and you hadn't seem much of him the past few years. But as luck would have it, your nursing career had lead you to a hospital in Fredericksburg, VA. You felt extremely lucky to have family nearby, or else you would have been completely alone. But sometimes you still felt that way, which is why you were so grateful for his offer.

"That actually sounds great! I am off for the next four days, and I didn't really have anything planned. Who will I be meeting at this dinner?"

"Well it's some of JJ's coworkers. They're like a second family to us, and I know they'll be just as welcoming to you. I already told them you moved up here, and they've been begging to meet you."

"Aww I can't wait to see Aunt JJ and my sweet little cousin, Henry! Its been so long since I came to visit you guys. I think Henry was barely two years old the last time I saw him."

"Well we all hope to see you a lot more now that you're here. You're like a daughter to us, Y/N. You are welcome to visit any time you like. I know nursing is a stressful job, and it can take a toll. Its important to have family and friends around you when things get tough." You could hear that this was a genuine offer and you fully planned to take him up on it in the future. Being alone in a new state was taking its toll.

"So where and when should I plan to meet for dinner?"

"I'll text you the address real quick. Everyone is planning to meet around 6. It shouldn't be too far of a drive. It's one of JJ's coworker's houses. David Rossi. He's a real easygoing guy, and he loves cooking for everyone. He loves meeting new people even more, so you should feel right at home!"

"Sounds like a fun time. Thank you again for thinking to invite me. I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Alright boo, talk to you later."

You smiled at the pet name used by the entire Louisiana side of your family. I guess the north had yet to steal his southern roots. You hung up the phone. You finally had plans. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't a coworker.  It would also be your first excuse to dress up since moving and starting your new job. Too excited to wait, you jumped up from the couch and began to rifle through your closet for something to wear. You didn't want to be too over or underdressed. You grabbed a black spaghetti strap fit and flare dress and throw it on with some black panty hose, a lightweight maroon cardigan, and some black heels. You snapped a quick photo in the mirror and shoot a text to Aunt JJ.

Y/N: Apparently I'm joining y'all for dinner tomorrow night...is this too much???

Aunt JJ: I heard! I can't wait!

And oh my goodness, no! You look gorgeous! It will be perfect.

Also...Henry is so excited to see you!

You smiled, more confident in your choice. Aunt JJ had great taste. You had only had the chance to meet her in person a couple times, but the two of you had clicked right away and stayed in touch over text and Facetime. Sometimes she felt more like the sister you never had.

Starting to feel the effects of your particularly difficult shift, you start to get ready for bed. You wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. You say goodnight to Juneau and crawl into bed, snuggled under all the blankets. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, with the feeling that things in your life are about to take a turn for the better. You couldn't explain it...but somehow you just knew.

[badapricot]

If you don't mind, I'd like to respond back to your review of 1000 stars to the specific bullets you provided:

2. My reasoning for when Phupha told Tian to go back is that this is a man in his 30s while Tian, so I've heard, is supposed to be 21 or so, that's a whole ass (almost) decade in between them. Which makes me believe Phupha's whole hesitancy and what you describe as "slow" is that he is thinking that Tian is doing all of this out of infatuation instead of thinking rationally. He does not want to be the reason Tian didn't finish school, if in any case, they break up or he no longer wants to stay in PPD anymore. He feels like by making him stay it'll prevent Tian from achieving his true potential. Especially since he has $$$ and all of his opportunities are so readily available and if not, his money makes it so that it is (I mean that's how he got his heart in the first place). I feel like as the older adult, Phupha feels like he needs to put a limit to Tian's impulsivity (and we all know he's the embodiment of it). He's making decisions based on logic whereas Tian is making his decisions based on emotion (which ngl, makes sense since he felt empty and apathetic before he got a second chance to live). Phupha probably doesn't even feel like its  love, just very strong attraction, so to have a young person be so willing to give up his education, something very valuable, out of infatuation for someone he met less than half a year ago doesn't sit right with him.

3. I do agree with you that their relationship (or whatever it is since they haven't really defined it) needing to end was melodramatic since, like you said, if you really want it you'll find a way to make it happen. I feel like it all comes down to Phupha not pursuing Tian bc he feels he can't provide him with what he's used to or what he thinks he needs.

6. I won't excuse the hurtful and cruel things phupha said to Tian but he was /grieving/ and the fact that Tian said it plain and clearly "I killed Torfun" in front of the /whole/ village is not going to make anyone want to sit down and try to analyze it and find evidence. This is someone who was perhaps like a blood sister to him (which quite frankly, I wish they would have elaborated more of their relationship, but alas. I think people in the fandom are quick to point fingers at Phupha bc the show didn't really /show/ that he really cared for her). If somebody admitted that about a family member you /loved/ who was run over/murdered/killed and didn't receive justice I think anyone would react the same way. We, as the audience, are aware of the events that transpired that night. Phupha does not. All he knows is Torfun was run over by someone, didn't receive justice for it, told Rang and Yod at the funeral he would never forgive the person who did this, months later after loving/liking/falling for Tian finds out through a third party that Tian received a heart transplant the same night she died, has her heart, walks in on Tian telling the village /he/ killed her and that's about it. He doesn't have the details to the gaps in between. On another note, I, too, don't like that he was cruel to him to "protect" him and in a way shows he's not quite ready to be in a relationship or at least shows his inexperience with relationships considering you can't lie to your partner every time you want to protect them if you want a relationship to thrive and be healthy. If it involves Tian then he has a right to know and to solve it together not one making decisions for the other. That part was not correct and I don't like that Phupha made him suffer for no reason, but the first part was out of genuine pain and grief so, for me, I can't blame him for it.

7. Again, They keep going in circles simply because Phupha feels like he could never amount to or provide what Tian is used to which is luxury and stability so he doesn't pursue or beats around the bush because he feels Tian can have someone who's his age and would probably have the same interests and life experiences and is still young enough and just starting life to give/provide him those things while he feels he's already done everything he could do with his life and is content with it.

I think the main issue is the fact that their relationship never progressed. It was all just them staring longingly at each other only for it to be quickly resolved at the end half heartedly. It kinda feels like the 2gether shit where they never really went through the show as an established couple without the drama immediately following (-_-) I wish they had focused more on their established relationship instead of everything else.

Sorry it took me awhile to get to this because of the length of the response.

2. I agree that Phupha is coming at Tian from a paternalistic place because of their age and power difference. Phupha feels responsible for Tian and doesn’t want him to throw away his degree for a relationship with Phupha. That was clear on-screen. But Tian doesn’t have to throw away his degree to be with him and that’s where my confusion and disbelief comes from. Phones and monthly visits don’t exist in the 1000 Stars universe? In real life, people have long-distance relationships for less.

6. I don’t blame Phupha for his reaction after Torfun’s death. It was him continuing to hurt Tian to “protect” him that made me go “Uh-oh is this a pattern?” because it was totally unnecessary. Like you said, it shows how immature he is. He can’t just be cruel to Tian every time he wants him to back off.

7. I was not talking about their relationship going in circles because of Phupha’s worry that he’s stealing Tian’s life. I meant narratively in Episode 9 they went from a heartfelt conversation outside, to slinging insults at each other as soon as Tian saw Phupha talking to his Dad. They’ll stare lovingly into each other’s eyes, and then they’ll fight like cats and dogs, rinse and repeat.

I think the main issue is the fact that their relationship never progressed. It was all just them staring longingly at each other only for it to be quickly resolved at the end half heartedly. It kinda feels like the 2gether shit where they never really went through the show as an established couple without the drama immediately following (-_-) I wish they had focused more on their established relationship instead of everything else.

We completely agree on this. But at least in 2gether they got together before the last episode. At this rate, Tian and Phupha will only get together in a 2 year flash forward and it will be the last 10 minutes of the last episode, when their relationship should have been given more priority and earlier on.

[chroniclackofselfpreservation]

Creatures of the Night

Chapter 6 - to sleep, perchance to dream

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Masterlist

If there’s anything in this chapter I should be warning for, please message me.

(The title of the chapter comes from Hamlet by William Shakespeare, III.i)

The next night.

Running. Running and panting and trying not to collapse and possibly die and runrunrundon'tdiedon'tdie! Chasing. Or rather, being chased. Something big, with big knives... or teeth, or something, but it didn't really matter. What mattered was it was trying to kill him. He couldn't see it, but he could hear it. Hear it slithering, hissing, laughing a low gravely laugh.

"You can't hide from me, little prince" it growled, ravenous. Tress fell out of the darkness, blocking his path. He scrambled a different direction, slipping on dirt and pine needles. Faster, faster, it was catching up. He couldn't run anymore. Something tore at his insides. His legs buckled beneath him, caught on something invisible. It was going to get him and—

Patton woke with a start, finding his arms and legs tangled in something and he couldn't get awaycouldn'tgetaway—

He tumbled over the side of his bed with a thud, smacking his head on the side of his nightstand. Chest heaving, he grabbed at whatever was around him and, oh, it was just his blanket. He lay there for a good few minutes before his brain realized he was awake and safe in his bedroom. Sighing, he sat up and wiped his face with a trembling hand. He wanted—needed to turn on the bedroom light, but didn't trust himself to stand.

"It's okay. You're alright. You're safe. It wasn't real, it wasn't..." he trailed off. But they were... weren't they? Or, at least, they had been, at one point or another. However, these last few months, they'd been getting stranger and stranger, and reality hadn't been mimicking them. Well, as far as he was aware, anyway. As a child he'd had dreams like these, but about mundane things: getting groceries, conversations he would have with his teachers or friends, things like that. Things his mother quickly told her eight-year-old son to keep to himself because "it wasn't natural." It wasn't until moving out that the dreams had become more... fanatical. They rarely made sense and often left him questioning what had even transpired.

You should be glad, a voice in the back of his head sneered. At least you're dreaming like a normal person now, right?

Looking to his left, he saw that it was nearly midnight. His throat itched with thirst and he swallowed dryly. He needed a drink of water. Slowly standing and keeping a hand held out to test his balance, he made his way to his door, which he'd left open a crack. He enjoyed the faint breeze leaving his door and window slightly open produced, and had grown quite accustomed to it. Pushing the door open with a finger, he stepped out into the hallway.

That's strange, he thought, looking at the partially illuminated stairway. The downstairs lights were on. Did Virgil forget to turn them off again, or was Logan simply ignoring both his and Roman's pleas to go to bed at a decent hour? Placing his hands on his hips, he strode toward the stairs and opened his mouth to speak when a noise cut him off. A soft, breathy sound, like someone whispering. A conversation? Patton stopped, and crouched near the top of the banister, out of sight from whoever was speaking below. Normally, he was totally against eavesdropping, but something inside him told him he'd regret not listening.

"...worked! I can't believe it! His name is Dorian, and he was, like, a normal—well, I take that back—a kinda half-way normal person once he dropped the whole giant-demon-snake thing." Patton's eyebrows bunched in concern. Was that Roman? What about a giant demon snake? Patton's mind immediately flashed back to his dream, and he had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from gasping.

You can't hide from me, little prince.

"But wait," another voice—Logan?—cut in, snapping Patton out of his thoughts, "You said that you two made some sort of deal? What were the parameters?"

"Well, not yet. I'm sure we'll talk about it more tonight, but I've got the basics down. He'll tell me how to break this stupid curse, or whatever, and all I have to do is kill an immortal dragon-witch," Roman said, gradually growing less and less confident in his rendition of this "deal."

Patton could almost see Logan pinching the bridge of his nose. "So, what you're saying is that you've gotten rid of one curse just to replace it with another one? One immortal demon for a different immortal witch?"

Roman scoffed. "I'm just glad I'm still here to tell you about this, Specs. After all, this was your idea."

"I see your point," Logan relented. There was a pause, then, "Just... be careful. Okay?"

"Of course."

Patton leaned back against the wall as he heard the front door open and shut. Out of sight, Logan sighed and settled onto the couch. Patton barely breathed, trying to digest what he'd just heard.

He might just have to scratch the whole "dreaming like a normal person" thing, after all.

                                                  * * * * * * * * * *

Roman sat cross-legged in the grass just outside the forest, feeling calmer than he had in... a while. Sure, he was still about to spend most of the night with a strange demon-snake-man-thing that he was pretty sure still wanted to kill him, but things were getting better. At least, he hoped they were. The curse churned within him, though he was used to the pain; almost numb to it, actually. Soon, he'd be able to sit and look at the stars without feeling like his intestines were being run through a meat grinder.

Something moved through the grass next to him, and he tensed, reaching for his sword. It turned out to only be the cat from last night. Roman chuckled and held out his hand. The feline padded over, pressing its head against the palm of his hand and purring loudly. Roman scratched the side of its head, then wrapped his arms around his knees and stared at the forest. The cat sat next to him, wrapped its tail around its feet, and looked into the dark depths alongside him.

"You know?" Roman said softly, leaning towards it ever so slightly, "You remind me of my friend."

The cat's ear twitched.

"He doesn't talk much, but he feels a lot. I can tell. There was this one time when I was a teenager, I was really upset with my dad and wanted to run away. He was the one who convinced me to tough it out and stay. He said, 'You can always start over, but good things take time. If you throw something away before you give it time to become good, you'll never know what you could have gained.' I don't know how he comes up with this stuff," Roman said, picking at the grass, "but I'm glad he said it." He looked down and saw that the cat was now staring at the night sky. The stars reflected off its eyes like pools, deep and wise and knowing. Something pulled at Roman, and it wasn't the curse. No, this pull was... different somehow. First of all, it didn't hurt. It felt more like the drawing together of two magnets that had always meant to meet. Secondly, it didn't actually pull at him. In a way he could explain, at least. It was like it was tugging at his mind, at the bizarre ocean of unknown deep in the pit of his subconscious—and yet, somehow he knew. Like he'd known with the Silkweed. He couldn't explain it, but something about this cat... just something.

"I'm, uh," he continued, rolling his shoulders, "I'm going to break the curse."

The cat looked at him intently, and Roman felt pinned in place. He tore his gaze away.

"You're just a cat. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but hey, here I am, talking to an animal. All right, time to get a move on," he grunted, standing. The cat made a strange chirrup noise and Roman stopped. That same tugging tickled the insides of his ears and sent shivers down his spine. He ignored it, focusing on the painful pulling behind his navel.

He stepped into the forest.

                                                  * * * * * * * * * *

"Hello?" he called into the night. Roman wasn't exactly sure how to go about this new arrangement. Sure, he'd still brought his weapons with him, but that was just a precaution. If Dorian got to keep the ability to turn into a giant demon snake at any point, Roman definitely got to keep some weapons around.

"Greetings, little prince." Dorian stepped out from behind a tree without a sound.

Roman jumped. "Jeez, warn a guy, would ya? Also, stop calling me 'prince'. I have a name, you know? I told you and everything."

"...Yes," the man said distastefully. "Shall we head to the cave before continuing our conversation from last night?" he said, already walking away through the trees.

Roman's hand twitched toward the hilt of his sword. "Uh, do we have to? I don't think it'll rain anymore and the clearing's much closer." There were two reasons for this. First, Roman didn't quite like the idea of being in an enclosed space with someone who could spontaneously explode into a giant snake. Second, the last time he'd entered a cave with a magical entity, it hadn't really ended well for him. He'd like to avoid a similar situation.

Dorian stopped, but didn't face him. His figure cut a sharp silhouette, tall and imposing as the trees around him. "There are things in this forest that I would prefer not overhear our discussions."

"Other things? But I haven't—"

"I tire of this," Dorian hissed, turning on his heel. His one snake-eye glowed a rich gold, casting light against his face and shining through the darkness around them. Roman jumped, and tried to swallow, but his heart was hiding in his throat and refused to move. His mind flashed back to that night with Ursula. Her eyes had glowed a similar color.

Dorian took several steps forward, the movement so smooth he might as well have been gliding. Roman gripped his sword. "You," he growled, his voice returning to that grating rumbled that usually accompanied his serpentine form, "are a naive, ignorant, stupid little boy who has decided to make a deal with a demon without knowing anything about what he's getting himself into. Now, you can either follow me to the cave, or I can return to my previous engagement of hunting you for sport."

"I, uh..." Roman managed, words failing him. How was it that Dorian managed to be more intimidating as a person than in his demon form? "To the cave, then, I guess."

"Very well," Dorian said, and turned around once more, disappearing into the night. Roman cursed under his breath and ran after him. Did he have to wear black? Roman barely remembered how they got to the cave last time, as he was near delirious with hypothermia, and wasn't too keen on wearing Dorian's patience even thinner by getting lost.

The cave proved to be much farther into the woods than Roman realized, and it took nearly an hour of hiking to reach. Dorian plowed forward, not breaking a sweat or even flushing at the exercise. Roman wasn't red-faced or panting or anything—he was used to fighting for his life and running around for six hours, if that didn't build up a person's endurance, nothing would—but he was surprised at the total lack of exertion on Dorian's face. His arms barely moved at his side and his eyes never wavered from their target in front of him.

Eventually, however, they reached their destination. Roman entered the cave and had a proper look around as best he could with the given light situation. It wasn't very spacious—only a dozen feet or so at its widest. It did, however, run deep into the mountain, farther than Roman could see. He contemplated shouting, to see if it would echo, but thought better of it and turned to inspect the fire pit. It was cold and dead now, the blackened coals and half-burned logs sat in a damp pile. Roman reached out at dragged a finger across one. It came back covered in a sooty paste. He looked up at Dorian, who stood with his back to the cave, silent and unmoving as if he were watching for something.

Roman cleared his throat. "The wood's wet, we'll have to—"

"Nonsense," Dorian muttered, snapping his fingers. A fire burst into existence with a roar, and Roman yelped, falling back in surprise. A hint of a smile graced the demon's face as he settled down into a seat on a nearby boulder. "Now, I don't see why we must waste anymore time with explanations. Are you ready to make the deal, or not?"

Roman took a breath. "I am."

"Very well," Dorian stood and came around to his side of the fire. Roman, in a less graceful fashion, also stood. The demon was shorter than him in this form, but somehow that didn't downplay his level of intimidation. Every time Roman saw that golden snake eye, he remembered the monster that stalked his every night, that hunted him, and fought him, and drove him completely insane with paranoia. This was the creature he was about to make a deal sealed in magic with?

Dorian unfolded the parchment on which the contract was written and placed it on the ground between them. He pulled up his sleeve, exposing an arm riddled with patches of scales just like those on his face.

Roman took a step back. "Wait."

"What is it now?"

"I have another request I want to add on," he said, hoping he wouldn't get his throat ripped out for it.

Dorian's eyes narrowed. "And what exactly would this request entail?"

"I'll kill the dragon witch for you if you help me break the curse, but you have to promise to stop trying to kill me."

The demon put on a sardonic grin, "Please, I'll waste away with my favorite plaything gone."

"I'm serious."

"So am I. I've been alive longer than even the oldest of demons, and I've been dealing with Ursula and her infernal curses for the past three centuries." He leaned closer, his grin stretching. "I've found boredom to be the worst of tortures."

Roman exhaled, trying to keep his hands from flying to his weapons. He really didn't want to start a fight before he'd gotten the information he wanted. "What assurance do I have that you won't simply kill me after we make this deal? Or even if you don't, I need to focus all of my energy on breaking this curse and fulfilling my side of this bargain. I can't be doing that when I'm worried you're going to bite my head off every single night."

Dorian sighed, dropping the expression and stepping back. "I suppose you make a valid point. All right, I'll also agree to cease hunting you and refrain from inflicting any fatal bodily harm under the caveat that you fulfill the conditions of the contract within three months." He waved a hand and Roman watched the words appear in ink on the parchment.  

Three months. Twelve weeks to break his curse and figure out some way to kill an immortal dragon witch. Easy. He could do that. Right?

"Okay," Roman said, moving closer to Dorian and pulling his sleeve up his arm. The demon gripped his forearm, and Roman his. A strange tingling sensation began to spread from where their skin met. It reminded him vaguely of the feeling of removing the amulet. The butterflies in Roman's stomach turned to ants, crawling and biting and stinging and oh, this was a bad idea what was he thinking—

Gold threads of light sprouted from Dorian's free hand. His demon eye brightened and his brow hardened in concentration as he wound the magical thread around their clasped hands. His lips moved wordlessly and Roman fought to keep his breathing under control.

It's okay. You chose this. Everything's fine, he repeated over and over in his head, but it didn't seem to do much.

Dorian's chanting faltered. Roman looked up. "What's wrong? Why'd you stop?"

"You're shaking."

"I'm—? Well would you look at that," he said, shifting nervously. "You'd think I was making a deal with a super scary demon, or something."

Dorian's fingers held the golden thread motionless above their hands. "Are you sure about this? We can stop. There's still time—"

"No! I, uh—I'm fine. I... I need to do this," Roman said, gritting his teeth and willing his hands to be still. They did. Dorian watched him for a moment, then resumed the rhythmic chanting. The magical thread reached its end, and Dorian tied it off. His grip tightened ever so slightly and Roman watched with baited breath as the gold light seeped into their flesh and it... it didn't hurt. It was warm and filled Roman with a strange sort of energy that made his heart flutter like he'd gone over the crest of a roller coaster. He felt a soft tickle on the pad of his thumb and watched as his thumbprint appeared in ink across the bottom of the contract alongside a runic symbol he didn't recognize.

He blinked, and it was over. Dorian released him, and stepped back, rolling the contract up in his hand. Roman looked at his arm, inspecting the faint, pale lines crisscrossing his skin.

"Is... Is that it?" he asked tentatively, flexing his fingers experimentally.

"Yes." Dorian pressed the paper to his chin thoughtfully, then quite unceremoniously tossed it into the fire. Roman tensed, but seeing the demon's unconcerned expression, he assumed it was a perfectly normal thing to do.

Roman sat down. "What happens if one of us can't fulfill their end of the deal?"

"You mean, what if you don't kill Ursula within the time frame?"

"Or you get too bored and kill me on accident," he added cynically. "What happens then?"

Dorian snorted. "Let's just keep to our sides of the bargain. Speaking of," he said, replacing his glove and smoothing out the sleeve of his jacket, "I'm supposed to teach you about your curse, yes?"

"Uh, yes?"

He sighed and sat down across from the fire. "That, little prince, is a long story..."

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Ghosts from the rainforest

Captain James Conrad x Reader

Summary: A simple rescue mission will bring him back to a place full of nightmares, and maybe this time he could find redemption. Situated in 1975, 2 years after the events of Skull Island.

Warnings: Violence, blood, wounds, mentions of war, cursing, implied smut, smoking, angst.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

I finally manage to write the end to this tiny fic, I hope you like it, and I'm going to start on my ideas for a Jonathan Pine adventure, but I haven't decide yet.

Chapter 7: Fever [Final]

The helicopter was already on motion, and the rescue crew that Brooks had sent for you were charging everything for the trip. The guys were excited to finally going back home, the Celebes Sea was ahead of you in the military base you were staying, and waiting in the Pacific the majestic USS Constellation  (CV-64) waiting to take all of you home.

Home? A country that had make more damage and taken everything from you, your family, and had force you to live away to mend some of the atrocities they had committed in the name of freedom.

"Not looking so charming today are we?" You said to him once he walked in your room to pick up your bags, you have finally stop the hostilities after he had offered you his shoulder to cry while you mourned Shukri on his funeral and after all the physical torture he had endured so you could safely leave Borneo.

He had been clear about letting you stay if that was what you wanted, and even when the rest of the crew asume you were coming back to USA, he knew you would have to say goodbye sooner or later, so instead of telling him all the things your heart was keeping from him you kept teasing him and pretending the chopper was not waiting for him.

"I have a minor headache love, but it's okay, are you ready to say goodbye?" He said and you noted how his temple had a few wrinkles, he was trying to smile over the pain in his head "It's a shame you don't come with us, I have a lot of things I wanted to show you" he grabbed your hand and all your alarms started to scream.

"Conrad are you okay?" Those words were all you have hoped for, however the radiant heat from his skin told you he was not exactly fine. "Dear God you are burning up" You said touching his head and looking desperately for a thermometer in your belongings.

"I like you too doctor, but why don't we wait until we get to the ship, we can share a bunk bed" He was definitely not himself.

"103° damn it Conrad!" You said, and for some oddly reason remember the night he told you about Randa and how much he complained about mosquitoes while he was dressing "Look at me, I'm not kidding, did you take Chloroquine before we leave Malaysia? I told you guys you had to..."

He nodded negative, and before he could speak he simply throw up in the nearest trash bin, making you suspect of the worst, specially since all the medicine was now gone and the only viable solution now was the aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific waiting for you.

"Also you have perfect legs you know that? I could spend my life sleeping on them." He kept saying things like that while you helped him to the heliport "Come here princess your prince charming needs your love" he said trying to kiss you.

"Later dear, preferably when you're not dying or smelling like vomit" you tried to stop him.

"Well you didn't mind me covered in dirt and sweat" He tried again but he stopped to scream "Reg! I love you man, you are like a son to me" and also tried to kiss the boy on the forehead.

"What happened to the Captain?" Slivko asked concerned once you help him to board the chopper while carrying his luggage and your medical bag.

"I have no idea, but I'm afraid it might be Malaria" you said bluntly and all of them looked concerned at you, while he vomited again "Do you have medical equipment here?" You asked the pilot and he only raised his thumb while you make sure he was steady on the helicopter floor, and almost didn't feel the machine take off while you tried to put an IV on his arm.

After one hour that felt like ten you could no longer see the island, only the immensity of the Pacific, and growing in the horizon the USS Constellation, even when you despised war and everything it represented the enormous carrier was enough to let you speechless, specially when a team of nurses and a doctor was already with a stretcher waiting for him.

"It's going to be ok James" you told him holding his hand while the experts rushed him inside.

"You really like men to die quite literally for you right?" He tried to joke, fighting the impulse of vomiting again, "Hey it's okay, I have to take care of you remember?" He smiled and you hold his hand trying to not get on the way of the medical staff, but he was too weak and fall asleep.

After they had stabilized his temperature, and take samples of his blood to determine the pathogen they let you in, the beds inside the medical bay of the ship were oddly spacious, and you could be sited next to him without any other person listening.

"Y/N?" He asked opening his beautiful eyes, "Hey it's okay love, I'm feeling better" He said and tried to reach for the glass of water on the table.

"Let me" You said and put it closer to him, "I know, once they identify the plasmodium they will know what is the best treatment for you, they take test and interrogate all of us, don't tell him I told you but Reles almost passed out when he saw the needle " He attempt to laugh but was still weak so he only smiled.

"Well is rewarding seen you on my dead bed, I'm quite honored, tears look oddly beautiful on you" He said and a small smile form in your lips.

"And you are still delirious" You said looking for a piece of cloth, and cold water from the sink to put on his head. "Here, try to rest, I'll come see you later" you told him but before your hand could leave his head he hold you still "What?"

"I might be dying, so you owe me at least listening me like adults" He said forcing you to stay next to him.

"You are not dying" you said trying to sound like it didn't matter and failing miserably "you are not, but fine. Let's talk" you concede.

"I'm sorry" he started contrary to what you had expected. "I had no idea how you looked before we met, and i was under no circumstances trying to seduce you to lure you back to America" you blush and regret your decision to stay by his side.

"I'm sorry too" You responded after a while "You have done so much helping me, even when half of the trouble I caused was preventable if I haven't trusted in the wrong people." You said and he hold your hand softly, he didn't want to hear about that, and you knew it so you took all the courage you have to continue. "And I'm sorry I over reacted, I am so used to people coming to me with second intentions that I just pushed you away to avoid getting hurt, and I just end up making other people hurt you"

"I'm sorry I make you come to the ship, I knew you wanted to stay" he said sincerely.

"It's okay, I have to make sure you stay alive, you know for the boys, maybe working at Monarch with you and Brooks won't be so bad"

"Well you can always run away from us in Hawaii, or maybe... we could run away together" He gave you a pleading look, and for moment you could imagine that life, keep running away, by his side, the soldier that never came home, and the idealist doctor, and keep leaving ghosts in every island, trying to find happiness apart from the world, but together. He kissed you, but this time it wasn't a lusty hunger kiss, nor passionate and angry like before, it was reassuring and you knew no matter what your answer was, he was on your side, for the first time you had someone on your side "So what do you say?"

But you couldn't answer because out of nowhere your stomach make you nauseous and you rush to the toilet to empty its content.

"Are you okay dear?" He screamed from the bed "I'm trying bloody hard to not take this as criticism"

"I'm okay, but I'm going to check your tests and start taking the pills before I end up confessing my sins on the fever like you" you said and walked out of the bathroom to saw him "We can talk later" you assure him.

You marched inside the medical office and started to look in the cabinets, when the young doctor that had received Conrad walked in.

"I'm sorry, I start feeling the symptoms and I thought it would be better if I start on the chloroquine before it gets worse" you excuse yourself.

"That would be great, if any of you had Malaria" he said offering you a seat that you take since he speak with a Texan accent and an authoritarian voice that made up from his young face "But we test all of you and what our SAS friend has is more likely a stomach flu from some bad shrimp, I was just on my way to tell him." He said and you sigh in relief, but also concerned about your own symptoms

"Oh that's great, but I start barfing too, and I didn't had the shrimp last night" you said and he took out a small file with your name that the nurses had put together earlier.

"Well it may be motion sickness, we are in a boat after all, or maybe... you told the nurse you didn't remember when was your last period?" He said looking the file.

"Well we have been in the jungle almost a month so I wasn't exactly counting" you tried to joke.

"The change of environment can trigger the vomit, or if you had sex in the past three weeks you might be pregnant" He smiled and all the weight of the world fall into your shoulders instantly. "In any case you should rest and let alone my medical cabinets, go with nurse Matthews she will give you some vitamins" he said but you were not longer listening.

No, it couldn't be that, right? You tried to convince your mind, but deep down you knew it was true, what would he think? He was a soldier, a man of the field, not a father, and you were obviously not a mother, what will happen now? Now that he wanted to run away in the world next to you, a baby had a place on that plan?.

Two days later Conrad was out of the medical bay and trying to approach you, offering you a fresh start from the afternoon you pause all those weeks ago in Malaysia.

But the stolen kisses on the hallways, and his nightly incursions on your cabin only made it harder for you to find a way to come clean about your news, even when the idea had already sink in your mind, because it was a baby, and it was his baby, how could you not be happy and grateful? Yet you haven't say anything to him.

Four days later he had spend the whole day walking on the deck with you, like if the planes and choppers were an appropriate sighting for a date.

"We'll be in Hawaii soon" He started "If you want to go out for a walk in the morning and get lost in the jungle we have to star planning now" he said and you were looking at the ocean trying to make up your mind.

"Maybe... I was wondering about the work you do at Monarch, maybe I will give it a chance" you start not sure how the whole we are having a baby situation will fit in your speech "I mean if you want to travel the world it might help to have a paying job for a while" you were nervously touching your hands.

"Of course, also when the baby comes I would like to have a proper house for him to be... or she, I don't care you know? as long as they're healthy" he said and you nodded yes.

"Yeah of course... what??" You look at him and he had the most radiant smile on his face, and he was clearly holding his laugh and apparently tears, of joy? "How do you know?

"Well nurse Matthews saw us kissing and then she complained about how Children this days keep having children out of wedlock" he said and you hide your face on your hands.

"I was really going to tell you... for real is just..." but you didn't have the words in you, and the tears were running on your face

"I know, it's fine, I mean is a little soon but if I'm honest I'm tired of running, and after all we've been trough I couldn't imagine a single person to share this experience with" He said cleaning the tears from your face.

"You sure?" You asked again, needing to hear it from his mouth.

"I'm sure, I fall in love with you when I saw you scaring local vendors in Malaysia and then fighting guerilla liders in Borneo, I even loved you when you vomit after kissing me for real, I'm completely taken by you Y/N"

"I fall in love with you too James" you said, and his expression got serious for a moment. "What?"

"Nothing, is just that I'm going to miss Prince Charming" he said giving you again the disarming smile that had started all this adventure.

The end

@damalseer

@kinghiddlestonanddixon (I hope you like the end)

[scottyscott86-blog]

Hungry for forbidden fruit!

My mom raised me and my 2 brothers alone. When I was between 10-14 she used to creep into my bedroom take my pants off when I'd fall asleep. I never understood why she did it until 1 night I played possum. I pretended to be asleep. She got my pants off I felt her gaze just burning throw me. After about 45 seconds of her trying to see if I was awake or asleep I felt her hand touch my underwear. A Few seconds later she pulled my underwear to the side freeing my cock. She ever so slowly stroked me, I guess so she wouldn't wake me. It felt so amazing and just when I thought it couldn't get any better It get super wet and warm! My dick throbbed and grow so big and hard in her mouth and I think she had a feeling I wasn't asleep because she kinda hesitated but after a few 5-10 seconds she just keep sucking it. I exploded in her mouth so fast, but it was so taboo and fucking hot I couldn't help it! She swallowed it like a good girl! After that night though she stopped doing it. I think she was afraid of being caught, but fuck I wanted her to. I never said anything about it to anyone. I wish I would have grew some big balls and not been scared to confront her. I was scared she would say I was dreaming and that I was sick in the head and needed help for thinking she could do that to her son (cause that's the kinda person she is), but I swear my right hand to God strike me down if I'm lying that it happened. And I no she was enjoying it cause I peeked out of 1 eye and she was using 1 hand to stroke and suck me while her other was playing with her big hairy bush pussy. I think she really wanted to climb on top of her baby boys big cock and ride, but she knew for sure that would wake me. I was really hoping she would of climbed on cause I was gonna come alive and grab those ass cheeks and fuck her good and hard like she wanted/needed. She was only wearing a robe and it was open in the front and before she left the bedroom she grabbed my wrist and slowly moved my hand. I had no idea what she was about to do now, but then I felt it. It was a huge bush, but she opened her pussy with her other hand and then 3 of my little fingers were inside her. I'm _ _ years old now and I swear to this day I haven't felt a pussy as wet as she was or as HOT! I knew right then I would never be fully satisfied with sex unless I was thrusting deep and hard into the sweet honey hole which I came out of. Unfortunately to this day it still hasn't happened. Any helpful tips on how to accomplish this goal would be great. Like 6 months after all that happened she got a boob job and asked if I wanted to see them and I was super stooked. I thought this might be my chance to fuck her. She takes me in her bedroom and takes her shirt off and there's her beautiful big gorgeous tits. She then ask if I wanted to touch them and I did. It was amazing. She then puts her shirt back on and leaves the room. I was so frustrated and confused cause I wanted inside her so bad, but she straight cock teased me. I swear there was a reason she showed me though. Why else would she? A normal mother wouldn't show her son her tits after a boob job. No matter how you look at it there would never be an ok reason to show and let your son touch your tits. I think she was hoping those sexy fuckin tits would rock up my big cock again like the night she sucked me and I would grow some balls and tell her i wanted to touch and feel more than just her tits. She probably didn't wanna make the first move worried I might be grossed out and tell on her. She also used to tell me her bf at the time Randy couldn't hit right (couldn't fuck her right) She never bluntly said it like that, but she would say he wasn't very good in the sack. All the signs where there I was just to stupid to see them back then. She's married now so i don't know if she would ever let me now, but I almost wanna just sit down and have a private conversation with her and tell her she was trying to fuck so if she's still craving that sweet forbidden fruit I'll eat her pussy since I owe her for swallowing my load all those years ago so she's good and wet then shove my big dick inside her and it's gonna be heavenly. I no she needs big dick to satisfy her needs cause my daddy was hung like a black man! She also dated a black guy for awhile so Im sure he trained her good! It's super hot knowing that pussy that had you had a Big fucking Black Cock deep inside planting that seed in it. I would love to lick her pussy after a big black cock was inside her and filled her full of cum. I would really love to feel her pussy slide up and down my big cock! Just to scared to tell her. Yea I no its wrong, but it's been happening since the beginning of time. I'M bout to quit being scared and just see what happens. Oh yea she's married to, but I know he isn't fucking her right. He needs a little extra boost if you no what I mean haha. Wish me luck. We only live once. Enjoy it 100% to the fullest. Fuck your mother and see how taboo sex makes your orgasm 500 times more intense and pleasuring. Incest is best put mom to the test! Why did Adam eat the fruit from the forbidden tree? Because the fruit was really his moms pussy and he couldn't resist. After he ate her he fucked her good and hard like a good boy should! Lord I wanna fuck my mother! Please God let me eat of the forbidden fruit also and satisfy my mother's sexual needs! Wish me luck everyone! Hopefully I don't end up in a padded room in a straight jacket cause she wants to pretend it never happened, when it clearly happened (Mom sucking me while I was asleep) We're both adults now so it wouldn't be a very hard secret to keep and her husband is always gone. Here goes nothin. Good luck to all the sons out there who wanna fuck there moms also.