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sweetlifetownsville · 6 years ago

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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.

Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.

Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?

Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.

Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online

The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.

This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.

This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.

Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men

Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.

Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.

And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq

Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.

And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.

And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/

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madeulookbylex · 8 years ago

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10 Marketing Books You Should Read In 2017

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Interview after interview with top performers tends to reveal similar daily habits: an early wake time; a regular exercise regimen; and a designated time for reading.

Reading a lot wont necessarily make you a great leader, but it seems great leaders tend to read a lot with rare exceptions. Great leaders read because its the most efficient way to gain the condensed information, guidance, and insights they need to excel at their jobs. Who wants to reinvent the wheel when others have provided the blueprint? This is especially valuable in the marketing world, where the challenges facing chief marketing officers and other marketers are changing daily.

If youre ready to take your marketing game to the next level, heres a rundown of 10 of the best new marketing books to dive into this year:

1. “They Ask You Answer” by Marcus Sheridan

Marcus Sheridan is a legend in the digital marketing world after he used content marketing to lift his failing pool company from the brink of bankruptcy to become one of the largest in the country. Sheridans strategy is based on two fundamental assumptions: your customers are smart readers who want you to educate them and your best resource for doing so (the internet) is free.

“They Ask You Answer” shows you how to become the authority theyre looking for and gain their trust, you need to think hard about who your customers are and what they want. What are they confused about? Afraid of? Longing for? What are their pain points and their dream scenarios?

Answer those questions with your content, and youll have a whole new cadre of brand ambassadors to do your advertising for you.

2. “Non-Obvious 2017” by Rohit Bhargava

Georgetown Professor and founder of the Influential Marketing Group, Rohit Bhargava is a self-professed non-obvious trend curator. His series has been tracking trends since 2011 in the areas of culture and consumer behavior, marketing and social media, media and education, technology and design, and economics and entrepreneurshipall of which digital marketers should be following.

“Non-Obvious 2017” identifies five brand new trendsincluding fierce femininity, passive loyalty, and moonshot entrepreneurship, and reviews over 60 trends from earlier editions, providing longevity predictions for each. Bhargava also teaches his readers the skills necessary to do what he doescut through the noise and identify the emerging trends and patterns others miss.

If you want your marketing to resonate (and who doesnt?), this is the book for you.

3. “SEO for Growth” by John Jantsch and Phil Singleton

Since Google is a crucial source of web traffic and lead generation, companies cant help but question how strong their search engine visibility really is. If you dont have a handle on the basics by now, or havent kept up with the many Google algorithm changes affecting your website, its time to get caught up.

John Jantsch and Phil Singleton put their years of experience and research to work for you, showing you how to leverage the new rules of search engine optimization to maximize your websites organic ranking potential.

From high-level strategy to tactics you can immediately implement, “SEO for Growth” is a must-read for marketers and entrepreneurs.

4. “Hug Your Haters” by Jay Baer

For Jay Baer, a complaining customer is not a companys problem, its one of their best assets.

Most unsatisfied customers wont ever tell you where you went wrong, leaving you guessing how to do better. But a complaining customer actually gives you a major opportunity for growth and corrective action. Far too many business care too little about retention, placing much emphasis on outbound marketing and the attraction of new customers, with comparatively little attention paid to the customers theyve already paid to get, writes Baer.

“Hug Your Haters” outlines the two types of haters any business is likely to come across, identifies what they want and tells you how to give it to them. And its full of concreteand hilariouscase studies so you can see their responses in action.

Follow their lead and youll be turning haters into brand advocates before your very eyes.

5. “Pre-Suasion” by Robert Cialdini Ph.D.

To truly persuade someone, according to Robert Cialdini, you need to do more than change their mind; you need to change their state of mind. In “Pre-Suasion”, the long-awaited sequel to his New York Times bestseller, “Influence,” Cialdini directs our attention to the time immediately preceding the message, or what he calls the privileged moment for change. It is at this crucial juncture when you can prime your target to be more receptive to your words. Get them in the right mindset, he argues, and they will be much more likely to agree with you. The book outlines tips and technique that you can use in a variety of contexts to convince people of your message, even before you say a word.

6. “Get Scrappy” by Nick Westergaard

Afraid you cant compete because youre a mom and pop shop in a big block store environment? Then youll take solace fromand find a useful roadmap inNick Westergaards “Get Scrappy”. Host of the popular On Brand podcast, Westergaards simple message is exactly what you want to hear: you can punch above your weight. More than just a collection of tips, he provides an entire system for scrappy marketing, starting with the steps you cant miss, how to do more with less, and concluding with simplifying your methods for the long haul. Its a practical guide to helping you achieve big results on a small budget.

7. “What Customers Crave” by Nicholas Webb

Nicholas Webb wants you to rethink customer service and your targeting mechanisms. Forget age, geographic location, or race, Webb argues. Its much more important to know what your customers love and what they hate. What customers truly crave are amazing experiences and you can only give them that if you know their likes and dislikes. For Webb, customer service is not a technical process; its a design process, and it demands innovation. He walks you through how to identify different customer types, so you can figure out how to create superior experiences across all of the different customer touch points. “What Customers Crave” will change the way you think about customer service and how to boost those conversion rates.

8. “Invisible Influence” by Jonah Berger

People assume they have much greater control over their decision making than they actually do. But as Wharton School Marketing Professor Jonah Berger demonstrates in “Invisible Influence”, the reality is that we are all subject to the power of social influence. Berger uncovers the forces that subtly shape our behavior and shows how, contrary to common belief, this is often a positive thing. As an example, Berger sites the social facilitation phenomenon, in which doing an activity with someone else (say running) helps us do it better (faster). And for those cases in which social influence is a hindrance to good decision making, such as in the case of group think, Berger provides practical tips for overcoming it. We may all be subject to invisible influences on our behavior, but just knowing what those are can put some of the power back in our hands.

9. “Hacking Marketing” by Scott Brinker

According to Scott Brinker, marketing systems are lagging behind the rapidly changing environment in which theyre operating. He identifies five digital dynamics (speed, adaptability, adjacency, scale, and precision) that have transformed the work of marketing, and proposes a relatively simple way of bringing order to the chaos. As marketing becomes more digital and marketers are increasingly reliant on software to do their jobs, the art of managing marketing increasingly resembles the art of managing software. Therefore, marketing managers should adopt the successful frameworks and processes software managers have already developed. “Hacking Marketing” provides a hands-on (and non-technical) guide to creating your own agile marketing processes and serves as a much-needed reminder that when our environment and tools have changed, our work processes should as well.

10. “Digital Sense” by Travis Wright and Chris Snook

Travis Wright and Chris Snook recognize that marketing today is all about customer service. And like Jay Baer, they see it as an age of opportunity. They have devised a whole new marketing system based on two frameworksThe Experience Marketing Framework and the Social Business Strategy Frameworkto help you understand and surpass customers expectations at every stage of the buyers journey and get all of your employees on board. Their learn, plan, do approach allows you to reach customers while also allowing for discover, design, deploy innovation to improve everyday operations. “Digital Sense” is full of data, exercises, and specialized knowledge to help you understand their approach and customize it to suit your needs.

These must-reads are fresh takes on our rapidly evolving field, chock full of guiding frameworks, helpful tactics, and actionable tips. Its a fair amount of homework, but it does promise a major return on the investment.

Josh Steimle is the author of Chief Marketing Officers at Work and the CEO of MWI, a digital marketing agency with offices in the US and Asia, and despite being over 40 can still do a kickflip on a skateboard.