#but it might b rly involved n long bc there are more Specific examples of crushes he has/has had on muses here

[fmdjoosungarchive]

sung vs boys

word count: 1412

warnings: sorta mentions internal homophobia

tldr; sung’s crushes pre-gold star bc i was inspired by my own playlist to talk about it. sung useless gay

i’ll get this out of the way so i don’t repeat myself a million times later like i usually do

sung falls for most every man he sees

he’s very unaware of this trait, and thinks that’s just how he feels about people in general

it can range from a little heart flutter or finding someone attractive, to full on, can’t stop thinking about them kind of crush

for this hc, it’ll mostly be about the more specific crushes sung has developed, towards the more intense side of the spectrum, bc otherwise we’d be here all day

also for all of these, sung still struggles with seeing them as crushes even now, and Definitely didn’t think they were crushes back in de day

babie

before his tweens, sung never had big crushes

what could be most closely associated with real crushes would have been his celebrity crushes

he thought he wanted to be as pretty and cool as them, which was a factor to some degree, but not the whole picture

when it came to friends who were boys, from his childhood neighborhood(s) or school, the feelings he had for them weren’t much more pronounced than they were for others, if at all

best friend

in feb 2005, sung had a best friend

he was the first best friend that Others would consider his best friend (considering sung would call anyone who said one (1) nice word to him once, his best friend, back then)

the boy had just moved into town, and it was pure luck that they clicked

they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company

as school friends, they started to bond there, playing with each other during breaks

they would spend nights at one another’s house, do homework together, play games together, had their own secret handshake

when his birthday came, a month after them first beginning to talk, 

it was the closest bond sung had had with anyone before, excluding his family

unfortunately, they were only friends for half of a year, when sung’s family decided to move to start up a new location of their restaurant brand in another city

losing that friend was a large part of why sung was so resistant to moving around like he did for the next couple of years

if they were able to stay together longer, that friendship would have turned into sung’s first real crush, but, he was only a possibility

art class

his first real crush, was the boy from art class

when sung was eleven, and settled in his new town (that i refuse to name for plot purposes), he felt his first romantic feelings

pretty much all of the kids in the school knew one another, which left sung feeling a bit like an outcast

the determination he’d had before in being overly cheery even when others rejected him, faltered here, because to him, it read more clearly as the other kids not liking him

this boy, though, was kind to him

they first spoke around the third week of class, when sung’s pencil broke, and the boy offered him one of his, from his drawn-on pencil case

and it was like sung saw the fuckin messiah. he thought the dude was So pretty that he looked a bit dopey fish mouthing for a bit

he couldn’t stop glancing over at the boy through the rest of class, cheeks burning red, and when the class was over, he took the initiative to tell the boy he liked the drawings on his pencil case, which, like what happens with eleven year olds, started the boy off on telling sung all about his favorite anime characters and how he wants to be a video game designer when he’s older

then sung went home and asked his brother to tell him stuff about video games he likes, so he can sound a little more knowledgable to this boy

the crush faded with time, as when sung left that school for the next, he moved on

the crush did last his entire time at that school, but it soon wasn’t alone, since that One experience basically unlocked the heart ho sung we all kno today

side hos

from then on, sung really started falling for basically any boy who was the teeniest bit nice to him

some crushes were longer, some shorter

sometimes, he’d fall for a boy based off of looks, then when they weren’t Nice, to him or someone else, the crush would be gone in an instant

he quickly developed the type he still has now, basically dudes who seem like they might be Bad Bois but they’re not anything close to it ksjdk

while his heart is so big his crushes didn’t/don’t stick within that realm all of the time, those were the crushes that tended to stick around the longest, and have the most impact on him (as well as crushes on friends but we’ll come back to that)

though, the majority of his crushes weren’t massive, earth shattering types

heart shattering? sure. he’s a crybaby pisces who would bawl his eyes out any time someone didn’t want to be his friend anymore, or left the class he was in, or left the school, or whenever he had to leave another school

rebel

from art class boy on, sung had two other major crushes before becoming a trainee, one in each year

so, in yet another town, at twelve, came the rebel

basically the closest he got to an actual Bad Boi crush

this kid had some issues at home, and it affected the way he interacted with the world and growing up

he had a lot of the attributes sung falls for a lot nowadays

he wore a lot of black, even often featuring a slightly too big, leather jacket, talked about how his older brother was teaching him to drive a motorcycle (which to baby sung was Wow Cool), was taller than sung, had a quiet and to himself demeanor, and was Older (15)

it took a while for them to first speak, since sung admired him from afar at first, but when he did take that leap, this boy was... decent to him

not particularly kind, but not mean either

and that was good enough for sung, which meant leaning on his every word, barely even chastising when he did things sung didn’t approve of

the rebel used up his company, probably because it gave him a rush to have someone look up to him like sung did

but this crush ended pretty abruptly, when, during a really hard time in his life, the rebel lashed out at someone in front of sung, and when he approached the boy about it, he was lashed out at as well

sung has had many heartbreaks, like mentioned, bc he’s a crybaby pisces, but in retrospect, he thinks of that one often, for how jolting it was

almost

and the last, the last ‘ordinary person’ crush sung has had in his life, was his almost, at 13

unlike the best friend of a couple years ago, this crush was the only major crush who reciprocated the feelings

they were both unaware, but if they weren’t, they probably would have dated. not forever, i mean, cmon they’re 13, but it could have been helpful in both of their developments

they bonded over having similar interests, at first because they both liked the same tv show, but then, as they started becoming friends, by discovering things and sharing with the other

and with time, rather than the superficial things about appearance, life stance, vibe, sung fell for the little things

he fell for how the boy laughed with his whole body at jokes

he fell for how the boy always forgot to cap his toothpaste again

he fell for who the boy was, until that developed into loving all parts of him, inside and out

and the boy felt the same

which is why, when sung auditioned for gold star, and got in, it caused a rift in their relationship

the boy was angry, that sung wanted to leave him and their school

it ended up being the demise of their friendship, though sung still help onto hope, for the first year he was a trainee

he kept messaging the boy, but the longer time passed, the more infrequent responses became, and sung, eventually, stopped trying

sung, if he recognized them all as crushes, would think they were all still in his heart, no matter how badly or great things went