#but it jst felt so nice n i got in a delusional out of touch state tht was just pleasant
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hrmn ok :/
#aa pls dont read this if u deal w disordered eating ):#my ed thots r acting up bc of like there being 400 ed blogs in my notes constantly when i make postd#n um vibes#i rly rly want 2 not eat n such n jst ya#but i got groceries yesterday#n i dont want 2 waste all the food i got bc it cost money#u kno?#hhh ):#i rly hate tht i have my dni stating not to interact n ed blogs r just like aha ok fuck you#like thank u ma'am *relapses*#jst constantly thinking abt ed stuff again lately#n jst feeling horrid abt eating n such n just hhhh#wish i cld just go back to the like patterns i had when i ws like 13#rly just didnt eat n did nothing but self destructive shit#like im genuinely missing tht#there is smth wrong w me i think#but it jst felt so nice n i got in a delusional out of touch state tht was just pleasant#i jst miss the vibes of jst doing every self destructive thing#if i rly badly relapse into my ed it'll just kill me now bc of how much my chronic illnesses have worsened n i hate that so much#bc like ed thots r also all u can't die being a fat ugly piece of shit#but i cant lose weight normally either bc of my symptoms n meds#awesome vibes i'd like to death now#i'll force myself 2 make noodles but fuck#rly do not want 2#moss.exe#ed tw#eating disorder tw#disordered eating tw#food mention tw
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