#but it isnt enougj i need them DEAD

[dcroar-x]

Sorry I was unclear!! I meant are you out publicly as nonbinary because I need some help with that -last anon

Oh sorry. Um kinda-sorta-not really? Look I dont know what your school or your friends are like but I can tell you my experience okay?

I'm out to a few people. There is my best friend who is super supportive and I lover to death. And one of my friends from my church but she doesn't go to my school but shes awesome therefore worth mentioning.

I'm out to my not-really friends anymore but they dont know my new name just the old name I used to use. Not like they talk to me anyways so it doesn't matter.

And then I'm out to a few other people who are supportive but forgot about it and I'm to anxious to correct them.

-Rant Warning-

And then there is my Spanish class. My FUCKING Spanish class. It started in my science class earlier that day. Science is my first period so we just chat with our teacher during homeroom. And I was telling the teacher about how the day before a little girl on a playground asked me if I was a boy or girl and I was so taken aback (and euphoric but I didnt say that part) that I just said "dont worry about it" and then she went on a little speel about comebacks (Mind you this is an all girls school so all of them were about being a woman and ims sorry but I cant) and I said (because she wasnt listening to me anymore) "Neither! I'm off the grid baby" and a few people heard me. I explained to them I was nonbinary and one of these people I was really friendly with (trigger warning for the next parentheses)

(despite her telling my guidance counselor about my self harm)

So I go on with my day and we get to 5th period and its consequently my Spanish Teacher's birthday so we were basically doing nothing. One of my not-really-friends-anymore is trans male (he's important later so let's call him D) at the school and his name had to be called by for this valentine's thing and she was apologizing to me for having to say his dead name (Idk why she was apologizing to me but okay) and then a girl I know for a FACT I did not come out to goes

"Aren't you and [D's dead name] different or something like that?" And I froze because

1. I didn't and still kinda dont consider myself trans, I just dont feel trans enougj

And 2. She said that in front of my teacher. And this is the first day I've been out.

So later I offer to help my teacher with something so I got to go into the cafeteria with her while everyone else waited outside. I was just carrying something in and then going back out. But then everyone was like "Why does SAM get to go in?" (I changed my name to Sam at the time before settling on Dylan)

My teacher obviously was curious and asked why everyone was calling me Sam, she even asked if Samantha is my middle name (its not) but my middle name has a story behind it so I used that to distract her.

After I came out of the cafeteria and she was still in I told them to stop outing my to the teacher. After that they made fun of it a bit but was a bit more respectful. However they kept misgendering D and D's boyfriend (WHILE TALKING ABOUT THEIR PRONOUNS/NAME) And that was pissing me off but I wasnt really in the position to go off so I walked away.

Anyways I finally realized how they found out and I guess the girl (the one who told my guidance counselor about the sh) told them (I didnt tell her she could tell people she just did) and that was the end of that.

-Rant over-

I know that story probably isnt going to make anything better and I'm really rooting for you but I can't lie to you and say it won't be a little tough. I believe in you though and if you ever need to talk just message me and I'm here for you. Good luck my dude. I believe in you.