#but it feeeeeeels so much worse on the new one

[itsnotalemon]

the singular doodle i did on my new drawing tablet i didnt totally hate,,, i hate new things,,,

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH2

The feeeeeeels have only just begun! I think this Remix is going to pack a bigger emotional punch than the original, but the payoff will be so, so sweet. :)

As always, I am only sharing these here on this blog for you guys until like June when we reach chapter 21, so I need all of your love and support in the likes, comments, reblogs, tags, everywhere. Give me your feelings. I am fed by your keyboard smashes and emojis,

---

Previous  Next   AO3

Chapter 2: The Archer

Marinette froze on the sidewalk, scrambling to process what was happening. She closed her jaw and shifted her weight to mask her unease. Of course, she’d expected her friends to question her decision, but seeing Adrien outside the bakery door still came as a surprise. If there was anyone from her old school she was hoping to avoid, it was him. Alya she could handle, but she couldn’t bear to hear Adrien say how disappointed he was in her.

“I, uh…I have a lot of homework to catch up on and-” Her voice trailed off at his pained expression, and she tapped her feet hesitantly for a moment before sighing. She had never been good at resisting him. “Okay, you can come in.”

Adrien followed her up to the apartment silently, gaze fixed ahead. Marinette could only imagine what he was thinking. How could she do this? Why didn’t she tell anyone? Marinette avoided eye contact with him for fear of what she might see.

“Can I make you some tea?” She offered, setting her bag on the stairs.

“Sure.”

Perfect. Tea was a good excuse not to look at him, and she kept her back to him while she worked, pretending that she didn’t know where things were to stall for time. She was hyper-aware of his eyes on her, following her every move. Watching. Waiting. She couldn’t keep this up forever, so she might as well get it over with.

“So, what’s up?” she asked while she filled the kettle.

“Marinette.”

“Do you like sugar in your tea?”

“Marinette.”

“I think we have some honey around here somewhere…”

“Marinette.”

“Preference on cup color?”

“Marinette.”

She pressed her lips into a line, tapping her nail on the counter before turning around to face him. “I know what you’re going to say,” she said. “‘Why did you leave? How could you do this? I thought we were friends. Why didn’t you tell us?’ Look, I know, okay?”

Adrien waited for her to finish, expression grave, though he didn’t look disappointed or angry. No, there was something else in his expression, those green eyes clouded and hazy. Sad, she realized. Adrien’s eyes were full of sadness and worry, and honestly, she would have preferred disappointment. If he was disappointed, she could defend her decision, but sad only made her guilt worse. She would rather Adrien forget her entirely than look at her with those big sad eyes.

Marinette flinched when he took a step toward her, hands shaking at her sides until Adrien reached out to place his hands on her shoulders.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” Tears bubbled in the corners of her eyes. “Don’t you want to know why I left without saying goodbye?”

“Because you’re hurting.” He trailed his thumb across her cheek to catch a tear. “No one believed you about Lila, and you felt like your friends were shunning you, so you left because you were hurt. How could I be mad at you?”

“I’m not just hurt…” Marinette shook her head. “I’m angry and heartbroken and frustrated and-” Her vision blurred, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Adrien pulled her against his chest. Burying her face in his shoulder, she let all of her pain overflow.

A week ago, she would have killed for him to hold her like this, but the numbness weighing down her heart left no room for happiness. All of the color had been drained from her life from the friends she left behind right down to the clothes on her back. Everything was gray and dark. Even Adrien couldn’t bring light back to her world now.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” he whispered. “This is all my fault.”

“No, it’s not!” She shook her head, sniffling noisily.

Adrien brushed another tear from her cheek. “I told you not to confront Lila, but I didn’t know you felt that strongly. If I hadn’t stopped you, then you wouldn’t have left,” he said. “I just didn’t want to cause conflict, and I hoped that Lila could be reasoned with if we could just get through to her, but…”

“There’s something else I should tell you,” Marinette said. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone because I didn’t think they’d believe me, but you already know the truth, so…”

The screech of the kettle interrupted before she could speak. She turned to tend to it, rubbing at her nose. Her hands shook as she poured, so Adrien placed his hands over hers to help her hold it steady. She’d almost forgotten how kind he was. At least this part of her old life wasn’t entirely lost. This precious, beautiful part.

“Talk to me,” Adrien said once they sat on the couch, and Marinette took a deep breath.

“I don’t think that there is a way to get through to Lila,” she said, voice hoarse as she swirled her index finger around the rim of her cup. “The day she came back to school, she came up to me in the bathroom and tried to manipulate me just like everyone else, and when I called her out on it, she turned on me in an instant. She told me that I was either with her or against her, and that if I didn’t play along, then she was going to turn everyone against me.”

“She said that?” Adrien gasped, and Marinette nodded, biting her lip.

“That’s not all,” she continued. “After she left, I was crying in the stall, and…an akuma came—the one that ended up turning her into Chameleon. It was meant for me.”

“Marinette…” He shifted closer to wrap an arm around her. “I had no idea.”

“I fought it off.” She shrugged, sipping her tea. “I’ve always been good at finding the silver lining, but with Lila…”

“Well, that would explain a lot about today then,” Adrien sighed. “She told everyone in class that you didn’t say goodbye because you don’t care about us and that you just wanted attention.”

“And let me guess, everyone in the class believed her?” Marinette grunted, rolling her eyes.

“I don’t think people know what to believe, but it made me sick to hear her say those things about you because I know they’re not true, and I think deep down everyone else does too.” He shifted his gaze down to his lap. “I should have said something, but…I guess I’m just a coward. You must think I’m a pretty bad friend.”

“I don’t think that!” she insisted. “You came over because you knew I was upset which is more than I can say about anyone else.”

“What do you think we should do?” he asked. “I still don’t think outright exposing her is the way to go.”

“No, she’s too crafty. She’ll just lie her way out of it.” Marinette affirmed with a disgusted scowl. “Honestly, I don’t think there is anything we can do to her without backlash. It’s our word against hers.”

“Yeah…” Adrien shifted with a guilty grimace. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“How did you figure out that Lila was lying?” He glanced up to meet her gaze.

Marinette pursed her lips, debating how much truth to reveal to him. She supposed that lying wouldn’t be ideal in this situation, but she couldn’t exactly tell him everything. Sighing, she set her teacup down on the coffee table and turned to face him head-on.

“You’re probably not gonna like it,” she said, “but I’ll tell you.” She paused for a moment to draw in a breath before continuing. “The first day that Lila came to school, everyone was so impressed with everything she was saying, but the more stories I heard, the more suspicious I got. Everything seemed too amazing, then I saw her talking to you, and… I got concerned, so I followed you two—mostly Lila! I watched her buy that necklace at the store dump your father’s book in the trash, and I heard everything when Ladybug showed up, and so yeah.”

“You really followed us?” He quirked a brow. “So, you know how I know then.”

“Yeah…” She clasped her hands together in her lap and tapped her index fingers together. “I didn’t trust her, and I was worried about you.”

A smile curled on his lips, and he tilted her chin to look at him. “You’re always looking out for your friends,” he said. “I’m really sorry that everyone else sided against you. For what it’s worth, I prefer your company to Lila’s any day.”

She smiled at that. “Thank you, Adrien.”

“I wish you hadn’t left, but I understand why you did,” he said, “I’d never ask you to come back somewhere where you felt victimized, but I am going to miss seeing you every day.”

“You can come by any time you like.” Marinette offered. “You’re my friend, Adrien, and just because I changed schools doesn’t mean that has to stop.”

“You’re right.” He took her hands and gave them a squeeze. “Promise me you’ll keep in touch?”

“Oh, I will,” she said. “One of my new friends is a big fan of yours.”

“I’d love to meet them, and if ever you need me, I’ll always be here for you,” he assured her.

Marinette relaxed at the sentiment before letting out a deep breath.

“I guess we just have to hope that Lila lies herself into a corner,” she said.

“She will, eventually. Then everyone will see her for who she truly is,” Adrien said. “Liars only hurt themselves in the end.”

“Yeah…” Marinette pursed her lips, then taking a chance said, “Well, if you’re free for a while… we could do our homework together. It’ll take our minds off of everything.”

“That sounds nice, and you can tell me about your new school.” He perked up.

The tension in the room faded, but before they could move, Marinette’s dad burst through the front door. “I brought up some fresh baked cookies for you two.” He announced, setting the plate on the coffee table.

“Thanks, Papa.” Marinette stretched up to kiss his cheek. “Adrien and I are gonna do our homework.”

“I won’t get in your way then,” her dad said. He brushed her cheek with his finger. “I can’t wait to hear all about your first day tonight. Your mother and I will be down in the bakery if you two need anything.”

“Thanks, Mr. Dupain,” Adrien said politely. When her dad retreated back to the bakery, he added, “Your parents are nice. I can see where you get it from,” he said sincerely. “You’re always doing your best to help others without ever asking for anything in return. I’ve always really admired that about you, Marinette. The world could use more people like you.”

Marinette covered her face with her hands, cheeks hot with embarrassment. She wasn’t prepared for such compliments today, but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t cheer her up.

He chuckled, pulling her hands away from her face. “I’m happy we’re friends, Marinette, and if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

The golden glow of the setting sun through the window illuminated his face, and for one fleeting moment, all of the colors she once loved flashed in his eyes. For the first time since making her decision, Marinette felt like everything would be okay.

She gave his hands a squeeze and offered him a shy smile. “Thank you, Adrien. For everything.”

♪♫♪ Haunted ♪♫♪

Alya stuffed her books into her bag, lacking her usual enthusiasm. Nothing in her world seemed right that day. Every time she glanced over at Marinette’s empty seat, her chest tightened. Now as she stood in front of her locker, staring at old pictures hanging inside, Lila’s words echoed in her mind.

“Maybe she wasn’t really your friend after all.”

That couldn’t be true. Marinette was her best friend. They told each other everything.

“If she really cared about you, she would have told you she was leaving.”

There had to be an explanation, but Alya couldn’t think of one.

“Maybe you don’t know her as well as you thought you did.”

True, Marinette was always running late and coming up with excuses, but Alya always thought she was just scatter-brained. Maybe Lila was right, and Marinette was hiding something from all of them. Maybe all she wanted was attention. The only people Marinette ever clashed with were Chloe and Lila—two people who got tons of attention from everyone. Not to mention she was always strangely possessive of Adrien…

Alya shook her head to clear it, but her doubts remained, questioning everything about her friendship with Marinette. What was real, and what wasn’t? Everything she thought she knew had been turned on its head so quickly that she didn’t have time to get her bearings. Marinette was gone, and from the looks of it, she wasn’t coming back to offer any explanations.

The photos of the two of them smiled back at Alya, and the pressure in her chest returned as angry tears bubbled in her eyes. How could she leave without saying goodbye? Didn’t their friendship mean anything to her?

With a growl, Alya reached inside and ripped the photos out, tearing them to shreds as she sank to her knees. She squeezed her eyes shut, clutching the last picture as tears rolled down her cheeks. Lost in her anguish, she didn’t notice the black butterfly hovering over her until it touched the edge of the photo, and a familiar voice sounded in her head.

“Hello, again.”

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Me, throughout the entirety of 6x05:

And I suppose I could just leave it there but NO, we’re doing a LIST. Of all the excellent things from “Prom Night!”

SPOILERS!

AV Club reviewer giving this episode the first ‘A’ of the season: :D

AV Club reviewer still insisting that “Midvale” was filler: D:<

Forever destined to disagree with the AV Club reviews in some way or another...

Okay, so! We begin with a very helpful reminder from Alex that things are different, in this Post-Crisis World!

(I mean, on the one hand, am I slightly distressed that key aspects of the Pilot and the WHOLE of “Midvale” are now gone, along with Earth-38? Yes. 

On the other, Kara remembers her lived-experiences of everything that had transpired in the Earth-38 timeline, so they still sorta happened and have informed her characterization. 

So...it’s fine. It’s fine. This is fine.)

I do love that, ‘Kara punched a meteorite out of the sky’ is now a Thing That Happened, though. 

(Well perhaps NOT ANYMORE but I’m getting ahead of myself.)

KENNY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!

“Scooby-Duo” listen, as someone who has already imagined all these kiddos in Hanna-Barbera cartoon style, running around Midvale, solving crimes and saving the day, I loved this description.

Alex being like, ‘DO. NOT. SCREW UP. MY PAST.’ ahhhhh we love to see that scary Older Sibling energy on full display.

And then Brainy and Nia are off to the past!

The only thing that could’ve made the utterance of ‘totes’ worse would’ve been the addition of, ‘magotes’. Thank goodness they exercised restraint in the writers’ room.

FORTUNATELY the terrible ordeal of reliving dated slang is offset by some truly excellent lines and line-reads throughout the rest of the episode.

For instance! Loved Brainy’s, ‘the perfect optical illusion’ and ‘off the dash, please.’ So great.

Other honorable mentions: ‘Damn it, Mitch!’ ‘That’s a LOT of exposure’ and I forget the line itself but when Cat’s like, ‘normal town my a--’ and then the cut to commercial break AAAAAHHHHHH so good.

Okay, back to the episode, Nia and Brainy, on the Legion Cruiser, AND THEN!

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN!

OUR KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!!!!!

I love them. It won’t happen, but gosh, I want a Midvale spin-off so bad. 

Like, the Crisis retcon made some space in the girls’ past for a spin-off to actually...kinda work. 

(But sustaining the premise across multiple episodes/seasons would be tricky and there would always be the threat of running up against like. The current show’s continuity.

But hey! They could just ignore it, I guess! That’s what the Superman show is doing!) *insert frowny emoji here* 

So the kids have gathered with Alex for milkshakes, which is delightful.

But ALL IS NOT WELL! As Alex reads about the ‘luckiest town’ and is like:

(Except with a lot more anxiety and frowning)

I feel as though we already knew Alex went to Stanford but I can’t remember if Kara’s (terrible) resume revealed that she went to National City University?

*Checks* Yes it did.

Another thing I LOVE is just. Alex as the Responsible One, whose anxiety is perpetually cranked to a 9.5, driving the Scooby-Duo around in the suburban mom van for super-ing jobs.

Also, ‘super-ing’ is an excellent verb, 15/10

Young Cat Grant! ....More on her later.

Nicole and Jesse did such a great job with the comedy in this episode--their initial attempt at a cover story/lie is so good. 

And the masterful transition into an actual good lie that Nia knew would win Kara over...VERY NICE.

Kara being so obviously thrilled that there are OTHER ALIENS! WITH POWERS! HERE, IN MIDVALE! RIGHT HERE!

Fandom has ruined the whole ‘Kara has golden retriever energy’ as is their way but I must say...very much getting ‘excited puppy energy’ here. 

Nia and Kara comparing powers was so CUUUUUUUUTE!!!!

As was the picture on Kenny’s desk of him and Kara. D’aaaawwww.

(But OH NO SADNESS...BECAUSE A BREAKUP IS IMMINENT.)

Okay in addition to all of the incredibly adorable content we also get lots of FAMILY FEEEEEEELINGS, which: Yes, good, yes.

But Eliza is only here as a PICTURE on Kara’s nightstand and a NAME on Alex’s badge, I am sad. :C

(Hope Helen Slater is in this last season at some point...need that soothing mom energy after all the Phantom Zone angst)

I think I’m out of order now but Kenny wanting to help Kara help people is just. The most adorable thing. 

Spoiler alert: I use the word ‘adorable’ a lot in this list. Sorry...but also not. 

The Brainy music when he’s in the school computer lab watching the printer is really great. I think we’ve heard it before, but it meshed so well with the whole vibe of both the character and the episode, just stood out nicely, I guess.

Okay, so. Do we think that Jesse could always do the baseball bat tricks, and the writers wrote it in, or do we think that he learned them for the show? My money is on the former.

Either way, very impressive.

And now for the truck situation! I kinda thought it would turn out that it was Cat’s doing, as she was trying to suss out the ‘super’, but nope, it was the blue dudes.

(Which makes more sense, since they have no qualms about endangering other people.)

And ON THAT NOTE, the blue guys! They are the perfect level of ridiculous, and they are wonderfully straightforward in ways that the Phantoms are not.

Also, I love that one of them is named Mitch?

Nia and Kara save the day!

After Kara busts the brakes and is like, ‘uhhh....they’re not working’

I noticed the Metropolis license plate and while yes it’s a little strange that plates are...apparently city-based in this corner of Earth Prime, stranger still is that Cat presumably drove clear across the country to check out this story. Right? Like, that’s the only way she has that plate out in Midvale?

Wait, wait. Totally forgot to mention Kara and Nia’s EXTREMELY OBVIOUS ‘don’t be suspicious’ sunglasses gambit at the Midvale College campus you absolute DORKS.

Right, so.

Remember those FAMILY FEELZ??? WELL!

We’ve got Nia’s call to her mom, which, oof. OOOOOF. 

And then we have even MORE FEELINGS aka: The garage talk.

Okay. OKAY. So even though I’m a little sad “Midvale” no longer occurred in Earth Prime’s timeline, I am fascinated by the ways this new series of events have impacted Alex, Kara, and their past. (Also thrilled that Kenny lives, natch). Alex’s resentment and the burden of ‘protect Kara, PROTECT KARA’ have been left to simmer while Kara’s determination to help people has led to some...earnest but slightly careless secret hero work. The building blocks of the conflict introduced in “Midvale” are still there so while it might at first seem a little...repetitive, for Alex to lay all this out to Kara, it’s really just the reveal of a new boiling point; a post-crisis update on the scene in Midvale where Alex is like, ‘I had two parents before you showed up.’

AAAAAAAAAHHHHH IT’S EMOTIONALLY DEVESTATING I LOVE IT. 

And then like. The new, but also not-new angle, of Alex leveraging her world-weariness against Kara’s youthful optimism/somewhat reckless desire to help, and then Kara throwing BACK that she’s explored other solar systems. 

The LAYERS.

Also that Alex is like, ‘we need weapons, let’s tell mom and also call the DEO,’ classic Alex.

The garage talk ends with Kara determined to come clean to Kenny...BUT OH NO, THE HERO HIDEOUT IS SO CUTE, AND KENNY IS SO DEAR. 

And the reveal that the almost-kiss in “Midvale” actually happened d’awwwww these kids. 

Like. I am legitimately torn, here. I totally understand and support Kara in being honest with Kenny about the whole college situation--but also GAH. KENNY IS SO NICE AND CUTE AND EARNEST. 

You know what ELSE is nice and cute and earnest?

Nia singing “9 to 5″ to Brainy to cope with stress and boost morale.

Heckin’ adorable, gosh.

Aaaaaand some other stuff occurred as the episode closed out but I don’t have them in my notes and BASICALLY I want the next hour like, now. Right now. Because this was WONDERFUL. FROM START TO FINISH.

So some Overall thoughts!

I said we’d get to Cat ‘CJ’ Grant later, so here we are: I...think I liked her? Overall? It was a performance that gradually won me over, is how I would describe it.

Absolutely wild that Cat built a media empire in a mere six years. 

Also her whole, ‘I am going to find this extraordinary being and name them and kick Lois Lane into the classifieds’...I mean she eventually gets two out of three, there.

As I already started to mention, sad that Eliza wasn’t here! But it makes sense, since a lot of this, Kara is trying to keep on the DL.

Obviously, I am ALWAYS down for these flashback situations with the young Danvers. But it was also nice to take a break from the Phantom stuff. The plot here is simple/streamlined in a way the Phantom stuff...isn’t. I love the emotional character stuff coming out of the Phantom Zone arc but wow, the Phantoms are just. Needlessly complicated. 

The little episode recap where Lena is explaining that Phantom Prime is like a bloodhound was like, ‘oh right, they do that too...in addition to all the other stuff that they apparently do.’

So, yes. Welcome change.

The change of scenery + type of action was nice too!

Though RIP to everyone’s hair, fighting against the moisture.

This episode also handled the Brainy/Nia relationship really well, IMO. Like, due to the whole, ‘trying to fit so much in, always’ approach to Supergirl episodes sometimes results in a bit of...one-sidedness, for various characters. Think for instance of Kelly needing to cheer everyone on in episode 2, but not having space for her own feelings/emotional needs in that episode.

I’ve felt that a bit with Brainy and Nia thus far--one will sort of take up more narrative space, so the relationship feels a little lopsided.

NOT SO HERE! They are both going through some stuff, they are both struggling to cope, they both come to rely on one another for help. 

YES. GOOD. YES!!!!

Something I’m loving about season 6 overall is that so far, it doesn’t feel like the plot is stepping on character development too much. Like, it still isn’t a perfect balance, and some episodes manage it better than others, but compared to season 5? Leaps and bounds.

Everything was so nicely tied together and the dialogue was witty, the humor was delightful, EVERYONE WAS ADORABLE AND EARNEST AND DID I MENTION ADORABLE?* but they never lost sight of the themes and emotional through-lines and GAAAAAHHHHHH MIDVALE EPISODES ARE THE BEEEEEESTTTTTTTTT!

*Okay Alex was mainly stressed out but that’s to be expected.

TL;DR - Best episode of the season thus far? Best episode of the season thus far. 

[kkysolo]

I think it would be a shame if you left. You’re refreshing in this fandom but I can’t pin point why. You’ve created really unique stories that I love. I wrote for a while but left too. Fandom can be cliquey and it felt like new writers weren’t accepted or anything. But your stories are so interesting. I’d really hate to lose them

Hi, petal! I’m so glad you like my stories, it means the whole world. I’m even more thrilled that you find them interesting. I often worry they won’t catch when I start writing them. 

Firstly, thank you for this message. I’m really sorry that happened to you, and I hope that you decide to post your work again in the future. 

Secondly, I’m sorry for the rant I can feeeeeeel I’m about to go on lol (fear not, it’s not at all directed at you, petal, I just need a lil scream and this was like, the laxative I needed to get it out). 

My issue isn’t to do with cliques in fandom or anything - though truly, I’m sorry that happened to you in whichever fandom you wrote for. Fandom’s can be tricky to navigate. I hope one day those issues ease, because there’s always room for your writing, no matter where it is you want to put it. 

I think my issue is like...People talk to me on this, which is great! I’m so happy to see that, I love hearing you so much and I’d hate not to see your messages pop up. But I think that’s largely because of the anonymous platform. Which is great, you shouldn’t have to reveal yourself if you’re not comfortable doing so (as long as you don’t abuse the system and use the anonymous features to be a dick, of course). But the amount of responses I receive, say, via the ask box, doesn’t correlate to the posts themselves. You get me? So it just kinda makes me feel...kind of weird. And inadequate and honestly, silly for even posting it if no one’s reading it or sharing it - but then people come to the ask box and say that they have. And the feelings are all very conflicting. 

And I’ll be the first to say I don’t reblog enough of other people’s work lately. But listen. I’ll be straight as an arrow with you -  I have a lot of triggers from past trauma, and they appear a lot on my dashboard lately whatwith Halloween and darker fics becoming common. And that’s fine, honestly, I’m the last person in the world to ever kink shame a soul because lord have mercy, I have mine. I just can’t bring myself to open or read those pieces (which is nothing against the merit and talent of those writers, and how great I’m sure those pieces are), and I feel guilty for not sharing from writers and blogs that I admire, but that’s just something I have to do to remain sane, lol. 

Anyway. I’m just having a hard time of it lately and just trying to navigate a way in which to handle it. Feeding negative feelings obviously does me no good, so cutting that off at the source would be best. I’m still here right now, anyways. And I might stay that way, and these feelings could pass tomorrow. Or they could get worse and I have to take a break. We’ll see. One day at a time, one thing at a time.

Either way, I’d still eventually update the pieces on AO3 even if I don’t stay here for whatever reason. Even if the updates become sporadic and rare (like Ultraviolence), they’d still happen eventually. But that’s a ‘what if’ scenario. 

And oh my god I’m so sorry for that word vomit. 

tl;dr you wouldn’t lose those stories, and thank you for reading them and taking time out of your day to tell me you enjoy them. 

[ialwayscomewhenyoucall]

Just Close Your Pretty Eyes

aziraphale x crowley ~800 words

set in the 1970s, sometime after the holy water incident

. + . + . + .

You go too fast for me, Crowley.

Just seven words. When taken separately none of them, besides his name, holds any particular meaning for him.* But together they cause something inside him--something he’s tried to keep hidden, even from himself--to break.

And when he adds the look in Aziraphale’s eyes…

It’s too much to think about. So he doesn’t.

But he can’t get Aziraphale (not his eyes, don’t think about his eyes) out of his mind. The problem of the holy water solved,** he only has work to keep himself busy, but humanity is doing such a good job of driving itself to temptation these days that he doesn’t have to do much and still gets loads of credit.

So he thinks about Aziraphale. It’s not on purpose, but they’ve been best friends for so long...well, it’s rather like saying to someone, “Don’t think about elephants.” What’s the very first thing to cross their mind? Elephants, every time. So if he happens to frequent Soho more often than usual it’s only because there are a great number of humans to temp in the area. And he likes that cafe. It’s the food at the cafe, and the coffee, it has nothing to do with the view of the bookshop from the tables out front.

It’s a grey, misty Thursday morning. Crowley’s the only one sitting at one of the sidewalk tables; they have umbrellas, but with every gust of wind more droplets find their way to the chairs beneath. Crowley normally wouldn’t mind a bit of wet, but he’s just gotten a new jacket he’s rather fond of, so he miracles an invisible shield around himself to keep the almost rain at bay.*** The waitress is irritated with him; she asks rather pointedly if he’d rather sit inside and makes quite a face when he answers, “But it’s such a lovely day,” in an even voice. So she brings him his coffee and blueberry scones and glares at him from the window every few minutes just to be sure he knows he’s wrong to make her go out in the wet.

Sometimes he just wants to say to people, “I’m a demon. I’m meant to be rude!”

His table is in the shadows; not deep ones, but Crowley can work with what he’s given. After all, he’s had a bit of time to perfect his craft. He wears the shadows like a cloak, becomes mostly shadow himself, just another bit of darkness on a persistently grey day.

You move too--

He closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose. Too fast? Crowley is fast by nature. Or maybe it’s nurture. Either way, he’s got to be one step ahead of the humans; he’s spent his entire existence trying to outthink them, to use their creativity to his advantage...not to mention outsmarting his bosses below. Somehow managing to stay both on and off their radar at the same time.

But. He hadn’t meant to race past Aziraphale. His one true…

Friend.

Yes. Friend. His best friend.

(Don’t think about anything more.)

Something moves in the window up the block. A flash of pink and cream. Aziraphale’s hand and sleeve, flipping the sign from Closed to Open.

A glimpse is all it takes; his resolve shatters, and he lets himself…

Not hope. Never hope. But he lets himself consider.

So pure, Aziraphale. Not perfect--a little less than perfect is much more interesting, in Crowley’s opinion--but always bright. The Arrangement has worked for all these years, against all odds, mostly because Aziraphale is just so good, through and through. To even touch Crowley would cast him into the shadows. Or worse.

Wouldn’t it?

The bookshop door opens and Aziraphale steps out onto the sidewalk. Even in the mist he greets the day with a smile, his face shining brighter than the sun behind the heavy clouds. Crowley watches as the angel slowly turns, taking in all the activity on the street before him. He loves all of this. All of creation. Crowley can see it clearly in the way Aziraphale holds himself, the way he’s ready to welcome whatever the day has to offer.

Crowley draws the shadows closer.

I am darkness. Unforgivable. he thinks. It’s not my fault, but it’s who I am. And I can’t be anything else.

Aziraphale’s eyes skate past the place where Crowley sits. Though he’s hidden, even the almost-gaze warms him.

I can’t be anything else.

Can I?

. + . + .

*And if he’s honest with himself, even his name is only a name unless it’s spoken by one specific being.

**Aziraphale actually giving him holy water is another thought to be avoided; tucked away and ignored like a tartan thermos hidden in a safe.

***Besides, rain on eyeglasses is too much torture. Even for a demon.

. + . + . + .

Author’s Notes:

The title is from Queen’s "Teo Torriatte (Let Us Cling Together)". This song gives me feeeeeeelings.

I know this is more angsty than the stuff I’ve been writing about these two dorks, but I’m just so taken by That Scene in the Bentley. I had to write about it, or its aftermath, at least.

I’m working on a companion piece to this, from Aziraphale’s point of view.

Good Omens tag list:

@afhyer @blueskysammy @keplarrrr @wanderingcas

(if you’d like to be added to/deleted from the list please let me know!!!)

[met4n0i4]

You are doing it WRONG! This is how it's done with 100% efficiency.

Guys, someone had to do this. I'm new to reddit and new to the manifestation community. I was very excited when I joined, I could sense there was a lot of people who got this manifesting thing in here and was excited to share with people like me. But after reading a couple posts and getting A LOT of private messages asking questions, I now come to realize that most people are doing it wrong!! The worse part is that there are A TON of misconceptions and just plain wrong practices circulating and being encouraged in a some of this subs.

So, I couldn't keep quiet. I know I would have loved someone to teach and correct me 15 years ago when I started this. I would have figured it out way sooner. But the past doesn't matter cause now I'm a freaking magician, guys!

I know, tho, that not everyone's ready to read the cold hard truth. So if you prefer sugar coated vague philosophical 15 minute fixes that seem more like hit and miss, then please just stop reading and go to any other post. On the other hand if you really want to change your life and are willing to put up the work, and re learn what some of you learned incorrectly, then keep reading. Man, I felt like Morpheus right there. Red pill, blue pill moment, guys!

The easiest way to put this is with a magic analogy, although I have to clarify that this ain't magic wooyoo, this is more like science. It works for everyone, every single time. If what you are doing is more like hit and miss, then I'm sorry to inform you that you got it wrong! There's no shortcuts or turn arounds, guys. There's just one way to do this. But, then again, I'll explain with a magic analogy. Just keep in mind this is something more precise, more accurate... I mean, it's THE LAW!

If I could tattoo something in your arm so you could read it again and again it would be this. **Your every thought is creative.** Yes! Every thought. Not just the ones you have when meditating. Not just the emotional ones. Not just the ones when you are thinking intentionally, or when you are surrounded by candles chanting mantras. ALL YOUR THOUGHTS are creative, even the very small ones. And every thought you have is like casting a spell.

That tattoo goes on your other arm. **Every thought you have is like casting a spell!** So, yeah. Most of you have been cursing yourselves for years now. Some of you for decades even. So before you even think of casting beautiful spells and going through your days like Mickey Mouse in the Fantasia movie, you first have to transmute the curses you've put on yourself. How do you do that? That's the hard part but the most rewarding and life changing one. You already know some of this but I'll try explaining the process I've come to find that works the best, and I'll also try to debunk some misconceptions that can be preventing you from succeeding at this manifestation thingy.

The process is as follows. From the moment you decide to change your life forward, you have to be the gatekeeper of your thoughts. Yes!! **All your thoughts**. You have to catch them and evaluate them. If it's a blessing or positive thought, you let it live. If it's a curse or a 'I would not like that to happen' thought, then you correct it! Don't worry that you don't know the curses you put on yourself in the past, as soon as you start paying attention to your every day thoughts, the curses you've been putting on yourself will be the first ones to come to mind. -I'm ugly. I'm poor. I will never be able to change my life. Things keep getting worse. I'm gaining weight! I hate my job.- Your mind will push forward the thoughts you might benefit the most from correcting.

Transmuting is just doing that, being the gatekeeper in your mind and saying. No! This thought about gaining weight is not allowed to keep living like that. And with intention and authority, turn it into something more like 'Hell, yeah! I'm losing so much weight!' or 'Yeah, mamma. You looking fine!' Whatever works for you, guys. You are allowed to have fun with your spells. And if the negative thought pops in your mind 500 times a day, you transmute it 500 times a day! No shortcuts or turnarounds for it.

I mean, it's as easy as that. Watch your thoughts, sort them and the negative ones transform them into better ones immediately. Do not save them for your 15 minute meditation or your visualizations. Change them immediately, don't let them linger. Don't let them work their magic. Doesn't mean those 15 minute techniques don't work. But it does mean that you can cast a beautiful spell during your SATS, wake up next morning and curse yourself for 12 hours straight. So do you think that's gonna work?

And now let me address a couple misconceptions I find in most of you, mostly based on all the questions I've received this couple of days.

**Misconception #1** I have to feeeeellll my thought like it's truth. Well, no. You don't have to try to feel anything! You watch a horror movie, see a freaking awful doll jumping at someone with a huge kitchen knife and you get scared. Did you try to force yourself into feeling scared? No, you didn't. Did you force yourself to fall in love with that dreamy guy with a pretty nice hair, deep blue eyes and hella nice ass? No, you didn't. You just thought of that pretty hair and eyes and the feeeeeling came by itself. Do you force yourself to feel horny?? Ok, not gonna elaborate too much on that but you probably where just thinking of that hella nice ass, weren't you?

Now, people with bad anxiety and depression, did they force themselves to feel anxiety or depression? Noooo! They most likely just had one awful thought after another, they did that for days, weeks, months, even years and then voilá, here you have you severe anxiety and suicidal depression diagnosis. And yes, they might be doing everything wrong inside their heads, but one thing is for sure, they never ever tried to feel depressed or anxious. So stop trying to feeeeeeel rich. Stop trying to feeeeel healed.

Instead, think of feelings more like a sign. If you feel good, then you're doing good magic or at least you're casting spells you'd like to see fulfilled. If you feel like crap, then probably you're cursing yourself into things you don't want to see come true. So, really! Believe me when I say this. All you have to do when the 'I'm so poor' thought comes to your mind... is say.. no, dude. 'I'm sooo damn rich that Bill Gates asks me for advice.' And after you do this like a few hundreds times, yes! You'll start feeling that unequivocal good feeling of being rich without trying. Cause of course you won't feel it just by doing it once which is a very common mistake, expecting to feel like your wish is fulfilled on your fist go. There are some feelings you've never felt or even imagined existed, that'll startle you a bit when you get them. My favorite? Feeling famous, it's wacko, guys.

**Misconception #2** Living from the end. I don't even know the exact words you keep posting around here, but I've been reading this again and again. It sounds to me that you guys are trying to dissociate. You know who else dissociates? Schizophrenics! So stop doing that. What is this nonsense about imagining yourself in an alternate reality where it is true? I mean, has anybody spent money they don't have while doing this? Guys, that's not how this is done. This whole feel like it's done is freaking a lot of people out of their minds. Of course you can't do it! You're not crazy. You are trying to make yourself crazy, tho, but you aren't yet. That's why you can't do it.

I constantly have to tell people it doesn't work like that. You are not dimensional jumping. At least not right now. What you are doing is setting a process in motion. Yes, you head it right. It's a process. It takes time. Some processes take longer than others. That thing they say about it being just as easy to manifest a button than a castle has been misinterpreted. It is just as easy because the process is the same, it's about shifting thoughts as they come. BUT, it takes more time to build the castle than the button. I mean.. it will take more time to lose 100 pounds than lose 20. You are aware of that, right? Why is people thinking that this is not a process? What?! You guys really deceived yourself into thinking that people with hair loss will wake up one day with a a full set of hair? That would be freaky! So please, stop fooling yourselves. When it happens, it will be little by little, or pretty fast but in a progressive way.

Maybe this helps. Think about it this way. So you have multiple things you'd like to manifest. Let's say you wanna manifest a button, a castle and a boyfriend. Every manifestation requires different amounts of power (energy) to manifest. The button requires 10MP (magic points! \*shimmer\*). The castle requires 1,000,000 MP. And the boyfriend maybe 200,000 MP. Now, every time you think 'I have a freaking castle', you sum +1 MP for the castle. So, you would have to think of it in a positive way 1,000,000 times for the process of this particular manifestation to pop up in your reality, or for the parts to connect so you can actually acquire it. And of course, when you think, 'Damn, I'll never have that castle' you lose -1 MP. So you have to collect all the MP for any desire.

You won't like to hear this, but actually, some of you might be in negative numbers. You've only been thinking negative about the castle thing so just to get back to zero will take you some time. But there's no other way around it, either you get back those points you lost or you'll never get what you desire. The good news is white magic spells are stronger than black magic spells. I don't know why but getting sick can take you decades, and healing from it can take you just months.

I mean, that example is flawed cause no one actually knows how much MP something needs, or if you already have some MP accumulated. So someone might say, I manifested a castle in just a couple of days, but we don't know if that personal had already accumulated 998,000 MP before when she was a kid and played with, you guessed it, castles. See what I mean?

So all you have to do is keep casting your spells, accumulating the MP and waiting to have the total amount for the wish to be fulfilled. Man, I hope this example doesn't backfire somehow. I feel like it's pretty accurate despite what some people say about all the manifestations needing the same energy to manifest. Of course they don't. Moving a small stone needs less energy than moving a heavier stone, come on, guys! It's the same with manifestation and energy and all that stuff.

And of course, in the meantime you ARE FULLY AWARE that you don't have the castle, but you are also aware that you are working with your thoughts and casting your spell to get it. No need to dissociate or believe it's here when it's not. I swear. Just cut the crazy out, guys.

**Misconception #3** I have to cast my spells in present tense. Well, yes and no. You can do that, no harm doing it, as long as you know it's just a step in the process. Stating in the present doesn't mean it's here. I don't want you all acting bananas and trying to fit your 200 pounds in a XS shirt. But more importantly, some of your curses are not in the present tense. Some of them are in the future tense or in the past and you can also correct them in the future tense or in the past. If your thought is, 'I'm going to fail'. Then you can transmute that thought into 'I'm going to succeed with flying colors'. Doesn't have to be 'I'm succeeding right now'. I mean you can do it either way but it's not necessary to make everything in the present.

Sometimes, it's even better stating in the past or the future. I mean, it's not actually the same to think 'Everything is right' that thinking 'Everything is gonna be alright'. They feel a little different, don't they. Sometimes we need things to be alright right now, but some others we'd feel much better if they were also right in the future.

And the same happens with the past, some people even call this healing or forgiving. You change the past in your mind and you let go of things, you forgive them, heal them. I've seen people talking about it around here but I don't think it's that important right now. And despite what a lot of people think, The Law does understand past, present and future. Let's just quit the crappy philosophies out here to make this work.

**Misconception #4** You have to let it go. You have to let it go. You have to let it go. Man, this one has a lot of you confused. Some people call it letting it go, some people call it releasing resistance. But it's an easy one. You have to 'release' the negative thoughts. And you have to 'let go' of the negative spells you're constantly casting on yourself. I don't quite understand why people are so confused with this.

I'm reading people talking about letting go and asking things like 'Should I let it go and stop thinking about it completely?' Well, let's see. If you're thinking positive things about it and you feel good doing it, then keep it on! Why would you want to stop it? Thinking happy thoughts makes you fly, haven't you read Peter Pan? But, if you're going all negative about it, then do let it go. But, guys, letting go is not just ignoring the negative thoughts as if you never thought them. You did and now they're alive working their magic all around you. So please do transmute them as they come, immediately!!! Don't let them loose.

A lot of people here say you don't have to fix anything since everything's already perfect. You know when everything's already perfect? When you see, touch and experience everything as perfect. Not before. I know the all is already perfect philosophy might help alleviate some anxiety or worry. But you know what alleviates it better, the know that you are fixing whatever is wrong. So please don't fall for this, you don't have to heal or correct anything cause everything is already easy peasy lemon squeezy, or you'll just stay in the same place you are right now.

Those are all the misconceptions I can remember right now. But I'll make more posts if I found out other misconceptions doing their rounds around here. Now, there are a few tips that might help master this thing.

**1. When casting a spell, do it with intention**. Some people might find the word authority more beneficial. A magician doesn't just spit the words out of his mouth reluctantly. They intend for their words or their thoughts to move something. So do it like you're a magician ordering things into realization. And keep casting your spell until it manifests. DO NOT FALTER!

My ex girlfriend was having a lot of trouble with transmuting thoughts and castings spells. She kept saying there was a small voice in her head bringing her down, especially when she was trying this out. I told her to visualize that voice as a demon trying to curse her, and to fight him! If the demon says you are coward, you yell back to him 'No way, demon. You are not gonna make believe that crap. I'm as brave as the lion from the Wizard of Oz!'. So she did it for a while. And in a matter of weeks, her agoraphobia and panic attacks disappeared. It hasn't come back five years later. So maybe this imagining the devil cursing you and fighting him might help. My ex did go to the extent of getting in her van and yelling at him out loud. So don't be afraid to do those things that might seem silly. If it helps you transmute, then go for it!

**2. Exaggerate the positive thoughts.** If you think you're ugly, please have fun with the transmutation. Instead of transmuting just into 'I am pretty', please go a little further. Cast a spell more like 'I'm soooo damn handsome that Shawn Mendes is jealous and wants to punch me in the face.' People are a little reluctant to do this, but guys, it works. Instead of +1 MP that's like +3 MP. Remember the Boggarts from Harry Potter? Well, yeah, that's pretty much what we are doing here.

Besides, and I always like to say this to people who don't want to try it, you've been exaggerating the negative thoughts all this freaking time. So why do you refuse to exaggerate the good ones??? Yeah, I'm talking to the people who think they are going to die lonely under a bridge, after years of eating from dumpsters and battling cancer, during a zombie apocalypse caused by COVID-23.

**3. Do not let anyone else cast spells on you**. Yep, most times you don't cast the spells or the curses, but you let your own mind cast spells on you without you even authorizing them. Sometimes you also let people cast spells on you and you just take them like a champ. Other times you take spells from someone on a song, a movie or a tv show and you don't even realize it. Please, be aware of the thoughts others try to put in you. Be aware, and when you mind focuses on someone else's awful skin, even if it's just in a movie, please transmute it immediately to 'I have baby skin so soft that Cruella De Vil wants to make a leather jacket with it'.

Of course, this also means that when you catch yourself judging someone else, you have to immediately transmute cause that thought is cursing yourself first. So please, be very aware of those traps. When I say that you have to be aware of all your thoughts, I meant it.

That's honestly all that comes to mind today. So now that you have the basics, you can go buy a wand, carry it with you everywhere under your belt and act like one of Cinderella's fairy godmothers at the last dance. Transform that dress into your favorite color, even if you have to do it one million times a day. Have fun with it. It might be a little tough guarding all your thoughts at first but in a couple weeks it'll be like second nature. You'll do it with a lot of ease.

And, one more thing you have to know. The more you do it, the faster and stronger the magic gets. Don't ask me why.And finally, if you do it just like I explained, hold on for the things you'll start to experience. It gets nuts!!! Hope this reaches someone and changes some lives and don't forget to follow me for more recipes.

PS - Since some subs have been rejecting my posts for contradicting some of their main beliefs, I'm not able to share on there. That's why I decided posting on my profile. No one censors me here. So if you want to read whenever I put something out there, make sure to follow me.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW5

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Easy save for me. Team is in good shape with no pressing issues. Will reassess with two frees next GW.

GK:

Alisson Becker goes again. Hopefully he keeps the Cruyff turns in his locker against Spurs and doesn't do anything daft. Not expecting a clean, but, who knows. Some saves would be chill.

DEF:

Robbo double up goes again. 3 cleans in 4 on the season has been pretty nice, but they have a stiff test this weekend for a clean. Luckily Robbo is basically an OOP ginger winger so always a shout at assists. Start every week guy not even a question about it.

Other expensive boy Mendy goes with a tidy fixture.  Will prob haul as per. Good lad that Ben is.

Best LB in Europe unfortunately didn't look to make the trip with the boys so WannyBiz will deputize again. Tomkins back is everything and I am now somewhat reasonably expecting a win to nil against the hapless Terriers even tho it is an away game.

Finally, new friend from last week Jonny Castro Otto gets his first start for me. The 9 points sat on the bench was a rough one to take last week so we all know what this means: Wolves to concede 2 against Burnley.

MID:

Mo sticks obv.

Daveed put in a nice performance last weekend but emerged with no puntos. Another peach home fixture so hopefully he gets involved in the goals. I do expect a complete battering in that game.

Eriksen sticks around and feels bad going against my double Livp defenders but what is a man to do. We'll see if he can keep up his Denmark form. 

Finally, Ladro will go again. After Billian travelled with Brazil and Pedro's goal for them last game off the bench seems likely to me he'll start. Not sure how long I'll stand by this guy though. If he's rotating with Willian he'll prob go soon. TBD.

FWD:

No changes here, still Kun and Arnie.

Arnie looks likely to go next GW with two frees...but up against Everton is as good as they come. We'll see how he does and re-evaluate in a week.

CAP:

Kun. All about Kunny this weekend. Home plum fixture while Mo has a tricky one...feels like a very simple decision. All hail Kun.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Bavies and Ozil

IN: David and David (Luiz and Silva)

Double the David double the fun as far as I can tell...

Ozil we talked on two pods ago just had to go. He’s not playing his favored position and it’s not suiting him with the eye-test and the stats to back it... Silva is one of the only (possibly the only) under ~9m mids in the game who I trust right now so being able to get him in because of my saved free feels like tidy work good job by me. Fantastic and graceful bald human with a huge cock is my kinda guy. Welcome to the squad.

On the other end kinda going rogue with Daveed part 2 instead of Chilwell who I hyped on the pod. For the record I do still like Leicester’s defense and back them... But when push came to shove and I had to ask myself, and ask my pod partner, is Leicester defense really better then Chelsea’s defense? The answer is simply no. We hold Chelsea to a higher standard so it feeeeeeels worse but that’s simply not true and they have way higher upside to improve as well. Fixtures are pretty good. Go on Sideshow Bob.

GK:

Still very made-up with my non-move last week keeping DDG not panicking into Ederson and here he is again.

Not an easy fixture but Watford.. I don’t know.. I like them but I don’t really trust their attack to consistently do anything ie. complete passes, create chances, or score goals... Feels unsustainable at the moment so go on DDG with another clean and some saves vamossssss.

DEF:

5-3-2 alive and well over here... My defense and GK are made up of: 2x Liverpool, 2x Chelsea, 1x City, 1x United.... $$$$$

Robbo and Trent going away to Spurs is a tough ask. There’s also bound to be a fair bit of rotation this month with basically a tough match every 3 days. Who knows when and where these rotations will occur -- regardless you start these two every week and take it from there. Cleans are possible vs. anyone and so are attacking returns. GO ON BOYZZZZZ!!!!!!!

New boy David Luiz joins up with the murder merchant Alonso home to Championship side Cardiff... This should be sorta similar match-script to the Chelsea Newcastle match where Chelsea had 999999% possession and only conceded the one barely even half chance in the match -- hopefully this time it doesn’t go in and the double clean tits me.

Lastly Mendy home to Fulham. Probably no clean here if I’m being honest you can’t hold Mitro down and Fulham have other good guys countering etc... that said it’d be surprising to me if City score less then four goals and therefore Mendy will probably be in the assists as usual.

MID:

Salah goes again. He absolutely shredded Spurs last season. Probably will do again. Good guy <3.

Dilva in an ass-fucking against Fulham should be in the points. Basically playing Battleship with Dilva and the upside of City scoring seven goals -- one of the dongs will fucking go through him or he’ll be on the end of one right it just has to?!?!?!!??! Sink my battleship you beautiful fuck.

Lastly Lucas Moura. Good guy, good player, should be starting up top again although in a bad fixture... What I’m worried about is that Sonny is back. To me that reads as major rotation risk -- especially with UCL back -- so Lucas’ days in my side are numbered. I’m thankful for the price rises and points though. Good friend good punt by me... I hope he stays quiet tomorrow though...

FWD:

Same as Walsh just basically copy and paste his shit above down here. Kun and Arnie, Arnie and Kun.

Kun needs no words as now he’s the highest owned player in FPL.

Arnie is on a very short leash with his upcoming fixtures and West Ham’s inability to field a central midfield. Mitro is in my thoughts big time and if my team looks good and comes out injury/rotation free this weekend Arnie to Mitro is very much on the cards.

CAP:

If you missed my Fulham rant it’s at about 01:09:49 from Episode 155...

No other words needed and it’s captain Kun.