#but it WAS true and Mary had to be totally in shambles for that night because things were fine and she had just been with Elizabeth and they

[whenthegoldrays]

🌙

[samiii-p]

miss temptation (I don’t think you know) 1/?

aka The Maryan Roommate AU no one asked for 🙃 ao3

“You need a home address by next week or I’m writing you up.”

Fuck

Scratching an 'X' over another available apartment listing in the newspaper, Ryan grunts, blacking it out in her frustration. This one was her last true option within her price range and it was about the size of a walk-in closet with a communal bathroom to boot.

And no, just no. God no.

At least the last one had a view. It was a brick wall of the neighboring apartment but one nonetheless.

“You know for someone who needed this job, you sure don’t look the part.”

Sucking her teeth, Ryan glances up from her troubles, spots Luke in his custom three piece suit, grumbles and glances back at the paper where the only options left cost an arm and a leg to stay. Gotham wasn’t cheap by any stretch of the imagination, but selling her organs on a monthly basis just to get by didn’t seem all that appealing either.

“What do you want, Luke?”

“Can’t a guy just stop by?”

“Sure.” Ryan says, flipping the newspaper to the next page, maybe she could find something outside of town. The commute would be hell, but at least she’d have an address and her parole officer would finally get off her back. “I take it that’s not what you’re here for though.”

She hears him harrumph and nothing else. He does it a second later, again … and again.

“Okay, how can I help you?” She asks, sliding her current issues down the counter. Another 18 months in jail won’t hurt, let alone leaving the city in shambles when Batwoman disappears again .

Luke tilts his chin, hard line forming between his brows, a look Ryan has grown accustomed to over the past few weeks. Even though he’s apologized and promised to give her a chance until Kate’s return, there's still a tiny bit of friction lying beneath the surface no matter how much they both try to ignore it.

Reaching into his breast pocket he unearths a photo and slides it across the bar into Ryan’s line of vision. A picture of a black mask, outlined like a skeleton, stares up at her with cold hard eyes. In the corner a coiled snake is drawn with Luke’s handwriting underneath.

Snakebite - fear toxin/mushrooms

“Um, who or what am I looking at?”

He thumps the photo twice. “I was hoping you could tell me. You said you run in similar circles-”

“- ran.”

“As Victor Zsasz, I was hoping you could tell me a little about our friend here.”

“Sorry to tell you this but, no.” She pushes off the bar with a huff, nodding at the photo. “Whoever this person is, is new in town. At least to me.”

“Yeah, well his snakebite is hitting the streets like a plague and no one knows its source. There’s only this photo as a possible supplier but there’s no name, no facial recognition, no origin or leaks, no nothing.”

“So what do we do?”

“You suit up.”

Heat signature enabled, Ryan takes a look around the abandoned building noting two low level street hands Luke identifies as TJ Pillar: 1 to 3 strike for armed robbery and Curtis Armstrong: out on parole for possession.

“Come on, dude.”

She totally gets how uneasy it is to get back on your feet after spending a little over a year incarcerated but at least try to do better.

“What?” Luke asks through the coms, Ryan ignores him, scouting more of the building. It’s been over an hour and nothing. They wouldn’t be here if no one was coming but it’s growing closer to midnight and she has to be back at work at nine.

“Can’t I just bring them in? It’s late.”

“I mean you could, but it’ll be a waste of time. The guys on the street don’t know anything except to wait for the drop here.”

“And we couldn’t call in Gotham PD or the Crows for surveillance because..?”

“Hey, you wanted the job, this is what it entails.”

Behind the mask, Ryan’s eyes roll, mocking this is what the job entails meh meh, like she's a child grounded for the night, which, all things considered…

“Besides, it’s not like you have anything better to do.”

“Okay! Okay!” Over the coms, Ryan hears hushed voices arguing, a muffled ‘no’ then the sound of chairs being switched, Luke’s voice replaced by Mary’s, “heeey, girl. How ya’ doing?”

She smirks, attitude vanishing the moment the heiress speaks. Call it a general preference to all things sans-Luke based but she’d one hundred present rather talk to Mary until the butt crack of dawn instead of Mr. Kate would do it like this and Kate would do it like that. For starters Mary’s a lot nicer. Calmer. Funnier, I mean the girl’s one liners are top tier, bone tickling funny.

And well, she was a hell of a lot prettier too.

“Oh, you know, just pulling an all-nighter right before my day shift.”

A hiss sounds dramatically over the intercoms, the image of Mary’s twisted face pops up and Ryan can almost see the apple of her cheeks bunching and her eyes closing in that cute ass scrunchy face she makes when she’s thinking hard or embarrassed clear as day.

“Don’t worry about it, you can always come in later.”

“You enable her by making exceptions.”

“Luke!”

“What!?”

More muffled noises, a bang and yelp later Mary comes back on. “What I was getting at is that if you want to come in a little bit late, it’s totally fine or we can even change your schedule to mid-day, as your boss and fellow bat accomplice, I would totally understand.”

The corner of Ryan lips quirks up, “you don’t have to do that.”

“I do. We don’t know for sure how long you’ll be out tonight. Coming in afterwards is going to be draining-”

“It’ll be draining for all of us.” Luke yells.

“Shh!”

Unfortunately, Luke has a point. It's not fair on the team if she’s the only one taking the easy way out when they all have lives and responsibilities outside of the cave to adhere to, and a mid-day shift would never work anyway. Mid-day is Officer Steven’s favorite time of day to intrude on Ryan’s life.

“No that’s okay,” Ryan says, “Luke’s right. I have to put on my big girl panties and suck it up like everyone else, besides, I’m going to be too busy selling body parts for an overpriced cardboard box in the foreseeable future or it's a one way ticket back to Black Gate-”

“Wait, what-?”

“Oh, hold up.” An engine alerts Ryan to an incoming vehicle speeding into the warehouse disrupting their conversation. “We got action.”

Censors pick up on a lone body inside, facial recognition scanners kick on and work to identify the driver’s profile as well as the car’s make, model design, vehicle number and license plate number are all shot over to home base for further analysis. She twitches them off once complete just in time to see a window roll down and a hand throw two duffle bags out the window before speeding off.

“Did we get anything?”

A beat passes before Mary’s back on, “Not yet. Gotham PD and the Crows database has no facial identification, Luke’s expanding the search but the car is unmarked, plates false, even the tires vin numbers have been scrubbed. Whoever this person is, really doesn’t want to be found.”

From Ryan’s personal experience, news like that is never good. Someone that deep undercover either has a checkbook large enough to make themselves disappear or an iron grip so ruthless the utter mention of their name is probable cause for permanent removal. This was going to be harder than any of them expected.

“Keep me posted.”

Kicking off the beam she leaps down sticking another perfect grand entrance; hoping the acclaimed symbol printed on her chest will be enough to scare off the bad guys for once.

She is really tired after all.

Unfortunately, Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb both reach for guns, shooting before she can warn them to stand down. And there goes her ‘early’ night. Figures.

“Ya’ll know I’m fucking bullet proof, right?”

Another bullet ricochets off the suit as she takes a step forward. Idiots. Surprisingly they keep at it until the clip clinks, empty, and Ryan comes face to face with Curtis who tries throwing a punch she easily ducks, coming back up to head butt him so hard his knees crumple. His coworker steps up and he’s a bit more of a challenge throwing blow for blow with her until she ducks up under him and comes back with a roundhouse kick to his Adams apple. He clutches his windpipe, now down on one knee she delivers the final blow to the bridge of his nose.

She picks up the bags and hightails it out of there, latching onto a high beam for an easy escape, and heads towards G.C.P.D where she drops the contraband with a note attached of where they can find the assailants tied up and ready for arrest.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’re homeless!?”

Ryan wonders if disrupting her day as a civilian was going to become normal protocol for Luke and Mary going forward and on a recurring basis.

“I wouldn’t say homeless.”

“How else would you classify living out of your van down by the docks?”

“Surviving on wheels – ow!” Ryan giggles, rubbing her shoulder and doesn’t know whether to cower or soothe the frustrating scowl rapidly spreading across her friend’s face. “How’d you find out?”

“I had Luke track you after you left last night.”

“Wow, talk about invasion of privacy.”

“And for good reason, why didn’t you say anything?”

Ryan flips an empty glass, dries it out before placing it on the rack and considers how to move the conversation forward, possibly far, far away from this topic all together. The best she comes up with is, “it’s handled.”

Handled ends up being a 200 square feet one room apartment Mary demands to see. The bedroom, kitchen and living room are all one in the same but at least she has her own bathroom. The walls are paper thin, she’s pretty certain the constant dripping sound is coming from the kitchen, one she can easily fix after a YouTube tutorial or two, and a hotter than hell furnace the landlord warns her not to touch when the temperature is anywhere over 60 F unless she enjoys suffocating.

She watches Mary take in the room, the petite brunette moving in a slow swirl on her heels, lip turned down and Ryan just knows it’s not good when they make eye contact.

“Nu-uh.”

“What do you mean nu-uh?” Confused, Ryan watches Mary storm past her and out the door. “Mary! Mary, what does that mean? Mary!?”

Mary breaks her housing contract. When Ryan tries to object she quickly learns that all 5’2 of Mary Hamilton-Kane is nothing to play against and a powerhouse forced to be reckoned with.

… It kind of gets Ryan hot under the collar watching Mary tell her landlord exactly what’s about to happen, and cutting a check like it's nothing in the process.

Assertive has always kinda been her type.

“You’ll be staying here.”

Mary says, showing Ryan around her penthouse in the upper echelon of Gotham City. The apartment is just shy the size of a department store, the lounge being big enough to take up most of the square footage, built in with four bedrooms, one now officially hers, one for guests and another used for office space and three huge bathrooms big enough to house a football team.

“Jesus,” the name slips under her breath as she takes it all in. This place is – is. It’s too much. “I can’t afford this.”

The carpet under her feet probably cost more money than she'll ever see in her lifetime.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not asking you to pay anything.” Ryan quickly gets shut down as Mary carries on, “until you can save enough money to get back on your feet. It’s the least I can do. Being this city’s vigilante is hard work. The last thing you need to worry about is where you’re going to lay your head at night.”

It makes sense, but still. “I’m not comfortable asking you - I won’t use you.”

“You’re not.” The med student emphasizes. Mary takes the box out of her hands and places it on a dresser. “My home is yours now, bestie. Stay as long as you want to.” And before Ryan can prepare herself, Mary’s arms are snug around her waist and her cover girl smile is beaming up at her.

This is going to be terrible.

It’s worse.

Far worse than Ryan could have ever predicted. Not only is Mary super considerate of her new roommate, but she makes her resources Ryan’s own. She’s never slept so good, ate so well or drank water so delicious for that matter. Until recently she thought water was just water but Mary’s fridge is full of this alkaline stuff straight from the mountains, and Ryan swears she can never look back.

“You want pickles?”

Ryan visibly gulps, sitting on the couch, eyes focused on anything other than Mary prancing around the kitchen in her underwear. Mary’s always been super comfortable in her skin but especially at home when she’s surrounded by her things in her place of peace and why shouldn’t she be, this is her home. Ryan wants her to go about as she normally would, actually prefers if Mary pretended Ryan wasn't there altogether. The last thing she wants is to intrude or take up space but she can only take so much. It’s been nearly a month of coming home to Mary asking how her day was, waking up to Mary smiling at her over homemade breakfast or passing out on the couch cuddled together after another failed movie night. There’s only so much she can take.

What they’re doing is borderline domestic. And Ryan’s too gay for this.

“…pickles?”

“Hmm – what?”

“I asked if you want pickles on your sandwich?”

"Uh, sure."

Handing her a plate, Mary plops down on the couch leaving no space between the two and licks the pad of her thumb, humming pleasantly at the taste.

Ryan bites the inside of her cheek. “So, what are we watching?”

Hopefully something gory, and bloody staring a cis-het white male. Anything to take Ryan’s mind off of Mary Hamilton.

Mary chooses Its Okay Not to be Okay on Netflix and by the end of episode 2 both girls are huddled together, simping hard for all the three leading actors. Mary is obsessed with Kim Soo-Hyun's entire face and Ryan’s pretty sure if Seo Ye-Ji stomped on her in six inch heels and dragged her through the mud, she’d thank her.

At least they can agree Oh Jung-se is a freaking king and is killing his role as Moon Sang Tae.

It's nearly midnight before they start to turn in, cleaning up the little mess they made, Ryan shuts off the lights and walks Mary to her room; the first door to the right.

“Night.”

It kind of feels like a date, which is absurd. She knows. But can you blame her when pillow soft lips press against her cheek and Mary breathes, “sleep tight, Ryan” in her ear. Its stupid. She’s being stupid, and seeing things that arent there. Or maybe she needs to get laid. Whatever she needs to do, Mary can’t be a part of it.

After weeks of failed interrogations the team finally manages to catch a break. A source looking to get out and start over leaks the warehouse location where a scheduled supply of ingredients are due to be shipped in at any day now. Niko of course makes Batwoman promise to protect him at all cost and that means working with the Crows.

“Where’s the shipment being dropped?” Sophie asks.

“Unimportant.”

The lieutenant cocks her head to the side, unsurprised at how this conversation is going. The Bat has never worked well with authority in this town, no matter who dons the emblem.

“The only thing I need is for you to make sure Niko is somewhere safe, undetected.”

“Is he at least willing to stand trial in the event you manage to catch this guy?”

“I think that all depends on if your team can keep him alive. Crow.”

The alley is dark, damp and the chill fogs Sophie’s breath as she sighs. “You're going to get yourself killed. I know you have something against my badge and everything it stands for, but it can do some good if you let it. Now, tell me where the shipment is and I can have my team there as back up in seconds. We can get this drug and these thugs off the street.”

That word makes Ryan's jaw tingle. Thug. Of course a Crow wouldn't understand that sometimes people do bad things to make ends meet, but it doesn't make them bad people. To a Crow they’re all the same and need to be locked away never to see the light of day again. Including her.

“Focus on our informant. If I need you for anything else I know how to find you.” And she’s gone, vanished in a cloud of fog.

“Nice job pissing off potential allies.” Ryan switches her coms off.

The warehouse is guarded heavily by six men up top, double the number at the bottom not including the others unloading trucks full of supplies. Photo analysis identifies them and sends the information to Gotham P.D. before she strikes.

“Hope you’re ready for this. If we’re lucky this can all be over tonight.”

“Don’t I know it.”

Taking it as his cue, Luke hits the lights covering the warehouse in complete darkness. Motion sensors switch on and Batwoman moves into action. The training her team insists she go through pans out as she’s able to take out four guys twice her size in fast compact moves. One guy goes over the railing after she cracks him in the nuts with the steel toe of her boot. His strangled whimper is heard all the way down, but hey, no one ever said this was going to be a fair fight.

The team at the bottom catches on and gun fire immediately follows, running across the bridge Ryan spreads her arms and flies through the air, her red and black cape bellows behind her as she sticks another perfect superhero landing. All at once it seems like twenty people are coming at her from all different angles but as always she's quick on her feet tying a handful of them up by their ankles and running through the rest with a non lethal taser, just enough to subdue until she can contain everyone before she starts asking questions.

“We ain’t telling you shit!”

Another guy spits on her shoe, the red of his blood splattering against her boot and she rolls her eyes. There’s no need to be nasty.

“Look, I’m trying to help you guys out here.” Spotting a pair of boobs in the corner, she course corrects, “and girls - theys? Whatever! I’m trying to help you all out here. This thing,” she holds up a box of snakebite, “is killing the community and while it may bring you all brief satisfaction, financially, what’s it going to do for your futures when you get caught, to your families?”

“Who knew the new edition of the Bat came with such a bleeding heart?”

“Well, she does. So if anyone here is willing to tell me anything that’ll point me in the right direction of your boss, I promise I can protect you, get you somewhere safe.”

From the little the authorities have been able to dig up about this gang, anyone willing to betray their leader either winds up dead or living their last days in a vegetative state. That’s why it’s so important to have Niko, no matter the length it takes to protect him, it was for the sake of Gotham.

“I said-!”

“I heard you the first time,” Ryan says, cutting him off, “And I don’t know what you’re used to but I’m only going to tell you how this is played once. I ask the questions and you give me the answers, if you don’t, have fun rotting in jail or better yet … I can let the little I do know out onto the streets.” She bends down right in front of the man and lifts his rabbit mask, exposing his face. In seconds she knows his name. “I’m sure your boss would love to know who’s ratting him out, huh, Robert Michael Humprey?”

The terror in his eyes says it all.

[aion-rsa]

The Weird History of Monsters vs Marvel Superheroes

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Dracula, Frankenstein, a Werewolf by Night, a Living Mummy have all taken on or teamed up with the heroes of the Marvel Universe.

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The Marvel Universe is known for superheroes but it's also home to some of the greatest classic monsters ever to shamble onto a comic book page. Beginning in the early 1970s, some scary residents moved in.

Marvel has its own Dracula, its own Frankenstein Monster, its own Mummy, its own werewolf (two actually) and even its own Manphibian (kind of like the Creature from the Black Lagoon...but not). These creepy residents lurked in their own little dark corner of the Marvel Universe, but the takeaway here is that they were IN the Marvel Universe and at times these vampires, lycanthropes, and corpses even met the famous heroes of the MU.

So join us my intrepid monster hunters as we recount the ultimate monster mashes and revisit a few special occasions where classic monsters met classic superheroes...

Dracula

Dracula Lives #3 (1973)

by Roy Thomas and Alan Weiss

We already recounted the many times Dracula has stalked the heroes and villains of the Marvel Universe, but there was one team up we missed. Yeah, we know what you’re thinking: Conan and the other Robert E. Howard characters aren’t really part of the Marvel Universe, but listen, Spider-Man meet Kull and Red Sonja, and Spider-Man met Dracula, so this totally counts.

In Dracula Lives! #3 Roy Thomas and Alan Weiss gave us an ancient battle between Dracula and Howard’s famous demon hunter Solomon Kane. For those not familiar with Kane, imagine an Age of Imperialism Puritan Van Helsing that travels the world to spread the word of God while killing vampires and werewolves. Marvel published a bunch of Solomon Kane comics throughout the Bronze Age, and even though Kane had his following, the demon hunter never really caught on like Howard’s famous Cimmerian (probably because his adventures were always a wee bit racist).

read more: 13 Essential Dracula Performances

But in this one magnificent tale, Kane and Dracula clashed! In this Kane adventure, the chaste Kane must navigate the world of vampire seduction and then face off against the Lord of the Vampires his own damn self. Kane kind of kicks Drac’s ass (in Dracula’s own magazine no less), but readers also get a sense of Kane’s honor. You see, earlier in the issue, Dracula saves the Puritan's life. When Kane has Dracula on the ropes, the vampire reminds the honorable Kane that the demon hunter owes the vampire a boon. Kane lets Dracula go which pretty much dooms countless souls for like, the rest of eternity. So whenever Dracula needs a snack and kills some poor hapless soul, that victim can thank Kane for letting the fish off the hook when he was about to stake Dracula for good. Puritans, huh?

Anyway, this story remains a glorious Bronze Age oddity where two unlikely characters smack up against each other in glorious black-and-white.

Frankenstein’s Monster

The lumbering abomination of science known as Frankenstein’s Monster has a pretty long history in comics, one that predates the classic monster’s own comic at Marvel. Marvel’s The Monster of Frankenstein series premiered in 1973, but the bolt-necked behemoth stepped out of the late night picture shows and into the Marvel Universe a few times before it lived in its own feature.

X-Men #40 (1968)

By Roy Thomas and Don Heck

In X-Men #40, artist Don Heck and writer Roy Thomas (there’s that name again, it’s clear that Thomas is, was, and always will be the godfather of Marvel monsters) featured a clash between the X-Men and Frankenstein’s most famous creation.

Well, kinda.

The issue starts off with the X-Men enjoying a day of training in the Danger Room. Suddenly, they are summoned by Professor X who explains that he thinks he has located Frankenstein’s Monster. Professor X reveals that the monster is actually an android and furthermore, the android may have been built by a mutant. Holy Boris Karloff, that’s convoluted! The story would have been better served if Charles Xavier was all like, “I found Frankenstein, go beat him up,” and the X-Men were all like, “Yeah, sure,” and then they fight and stuff. But no, androids, mutants and aliens.

Wait aliens? Oh yah, it gets even more bonkers.

The X-Men attack the android and a big bad fight ensues. Iceman encases the monster in ice because he’s seen a movie or two and this defeats the Frankenstein android. Professor X then discovers that the monstrous android was built by aliens to act as an ambassador to Earth. The monster malfunctioned and went on a rampage thus creating the legend that inspired Mary Shelley to write her book. I like how Marvel took the elegantly simple tale of Frankenstein and made it intensely elaborate.

read more: Marvel's 31 Best Monsters

So there you go, Frankenstein’s first Marvel non-appearance in a tale where the monster was almost a mutant creation, almost a classic monster, and almost an alien ambassador.

The Silver Surfer #7 (1969)

By Stan Lee and John Buscema

After the monster’s almost appearance in X-Men, fans did not have to wait long for the real deal Universal and Shelley inspired Frankenstein top pop up, and this time it was for real. Wait...no it wasn’t.

Okay, so in this issue Ludwig Frankensein, descendant of legendary monster maker Victor Frankenstein, wants to renew Victor’s forbidden experiments. So, Ludwig and his hunchback assistant Borgo kidnap the Silver Surfer in order to siphon the Power Cosmic into their own creation. They succeed and the Surfer ends up fighting, not the Frankenstein Monster, put a Frankenstein created Silver Surfer doppelganger. But take note Frankenophiles, the famous monster does make an appearance.

read more: 13 Forgotten Frankenstein Movies

During the issue, Ludwig watches a film of Victor creating the world’s most famous monster. Yeah, we know movies weren't created until well after the mid-1800s, but shhh, you’re going to argue about something like that in a comic starring a naked silver guy that surfs in space? Rest assured that the Frankenstein Monster that appears in that film is the real deal, establishing that the Monster did indeed stalk the Marvel Universe.

Avengers #131 (1975)

By Steve Englehart and Sal Buscema

Frankenstein’s Monster is known for many famous cultural moments. It starred in what is considered one of the every first genre novels, it was the subject of one of the most famous horror films ever created, and it has appeared throughout media in every genre from pure horror to light comedy, but did you know that the Frankenstein Monster once served on a team with Wonder Man? Damn, that’s just oddly random.

read more: The Best Modern Horror Movies

Yup, as a plot to destroy the Avengers, the time traveling despot known as Kang plucked from the time stream some really haphazardly chosen heroes and villains just moments before their deaths, unified them, and sent them to destroy the Avengers. This ill-fated team consisted of the original android Human Torch, Wonder Man, erstwhile Iron Man baddie the Ghost, some dude named Midnight that once fought Shang-Chi, and Frankenstein’s Monster. That’s like creating a super team by randomly choosing Wikipedia pages.

The Avengers didn't have a really hard time with this group of almost corpses, but hey, listen, it’s a super team with Frankenstein’s Monster, that’s just odd enough to be awesome in our book.

Marvel Team-Up #36-37 (1975)

By Gerry Conway and Sal Buscema

True story, Marvel Team-Up #37 was one of the first comics I ever owned, and it blew my little mind that Spider-Man could actually team up with Frankenstein! How could Spider-Man team up with that monster that scared the poop out of me whenever Frankenstein aired on local TV? Not only did Spidey and Frankie appear in the same comic, they were helping each other! I think my love for superheroes and classic monsters may have sprung from my fevered re-readings of this very issue. So thanks Conway and Buscema, thanks for showing me the path.

read more: Spider-Man's Greatest Marvel Team-Ups

Anyway, so in this odd duck team up Spidey and Frankenstein’s Monster join forces to take on the menace of the monster maker: Baron Von Shtupf! Who? Von Shtupf, that’s who. Man, for a comic so integral to my development as a nerd, it’s pretty darn trivial. Anyway, Spidey and Frankie meet as Spidey accepts the whole corpse regeneration thing at face value because he recently ran into a clone of Gwen Stacy (comics!). Eventually, Man-Wolf (who is actually the son of Daily Bugle publisher J. Jonah Jameson) joins the fray and things get even more Bronze Age-ier and crazier as Man-beast, man-wolf, and man-spider all battle man-Shtupf. Glorious, I tells you!

Iron Man #101-102 (1977)

By Bill Mantlo and George Tuska

And then there was the time Frankenstein met Robert Downey Jr. Yup, in Iron Man #101-102, Tony Stark finds himself in the Swiss Alps where he stops for repairs after fighting godless commies in Yugoslavia. There, he is ambushed by a group of diminuitive misshapen creatures known as the Children of the Damned (no, they were not Trump supporters, stop it). Frankenstein and Iron Man battle it out in a clash of billion dollar film superstars.

read more: Upcoming Horror Movies Heading Your Way

Then, some armored dude with a giant lance blasts Iron Man and golden super hero and shambling corpse must team up to face the Dreadknight! By the way, Dreadknight’s real name is Bram Velsing, so there you go. To be honest, these issues are filled with atmospheric coolness and just seeing the classic monster and Golden Avenger on the same comic page together is just so out of place that it transcends cheese and becomes awesome

Invaders #31 (1978)

By Don Glut and Chic Stone

You guys, this issue is called “Heil Frankenstein!” This is going to be so cool.

Hey, remember before when I said that the first mention of Frankenstein in a Marvel Comic was in X-Men #40, yeah, I lied. Way the hell back in USA Comics #13 (1944), Captain America and Bucky run afoul of the creation of the Frankensteins. In this forgotten Golden Age classic, Anna Frankenstein builds a new monster in hopes of selling an army of monsters to Hitler. Yes folks, Franken-Nazis! Cap foils the plan, but years later, in the pages of Invaders, Marvel decided to revisit this story and re-introduces those Franken-clones.

read more: The Best Horror Movies on Netflix

In this issue, Basil Frankenstein continues Anna’s work and tries to build that undead army for Hitler (that’s the oddest sentence I’ve ever typed). The Invaders (Cap, Bucky, Sub-Mariner, Human Torch, and Toro) arrive to take care of business and battle a swastika emblazoned version of the Frankenstein Monster. I know I make this sound crazy...guys, it’s crazier and ends with the poor monster killing itself so it can’t be used by the Nazis.

Nick Fury’s Howling Commandos #1 (2005)

By Keith Giffen and Eduardo Francisco

So we already discussed Frankenstein’s Monster as part of the Legion of the Unliving in the Avengers, but that doesn’t really count as a for real super hero team does it? I mean, Frankie was plucked for the past to join a non-team of not really dead dead people. Well, the Howling Commandos counts because it consists of a group of classic Marvel monsters conscripted by SHIELD to go on insane missions to bringsdown other monstrous threats. So this is the classic Frankenstein’s Monster, heavily armed and given a license to kill by Nick Fury, going on missions to keep the world safe from supernatural threats. Ain’t nothing wrong with that.

read more: The Best Horror Movies on HBO Go

It’s like if Freddy and Jason joined the Expendables. GASP! I think I might have just stumbled on a billion dollar idea. Crap man, half the Expendables already look like walking corpses. Anyway, yeah, Frankenstein’s Monster once joined SHIELD.

Fear Itself: Fearsome Four #1-4 (2011)

By Brandon Montclare, Michael Wm Kaluta, Ryan Bodenheim, and Simon Bisley

So now we have three super teams that Frankie called his own, but the Fearsome Four was by far the strangest. Yes, the strangest team amongst a squad of time lost corpses and a team of monster soldiers. Because get this, the Fearsome Four consisted of She-Hulk, the Defender known as Nighthawk, Frankenstein’s Monster, and Howard the Duck. Yeah, beat that!

read more: The Best Horror Movies on Hulu

During Fear Itself, these four incongruous teammates must join together to face a mutated Man-Thing and the Psycho Man. That’s a lot of menacing hyphens right there. But somehow this team that shouldn’t have worked, did just that and four heroes that couldn’t be any more different found the unity to save the world. Frankenstein and a duck, teaming up and kicking ass. This is why we love comics.

Wolverine and the X-Men #19, 21-23 (2012)

By Jason Aaron and Nick Bradshaw

We’ve recounted the times the Monster has stalked the Marvel Universe, but the descendants of the creature’s creator has also caused trouble for the heroes. We’ve covered Ludwig Frankenstein in Silver Surfer, Anna and Basil Frankenstein in Invaders, and Victoria Frankenstein has even aided some Marvel heroes over the years. But here we have the evil works of Baron Maximilian von Katzenelnbogen, a contemporary descendant of the Frankenstein clan.

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Von Katzenelnbogen may have just been barely a teenager but when he joined a youthful version of the Hellfire Club (it was like the Muppet Babies, but with more S&M and death), he and his vile pals send an army of Frankenstein Monster clones against the X-Men. Yes, an army of Frankensteins. But when the real Frankenstein finds out that his creator’s work is once again being used for evil, well, let’s just say the classic monster doesn’t take it well.

Werewolf by Night

Marvel Team-Up #12 (1973)

By Gerry Conway, Len Wein, and Ross Andru

We already covered the meeting of Frankenstein’s Monster and Man-Wolf in the pages of Marvel Team-Up. In addition to this creature feature, there was also another Spider-Man monster mash as Spidey teamed with Marvel’s leading lycanthrope, Werewolf by Night. We’re kind of going to gloss over Man-Wolf because, while the character is awesome, he’s more of a sci-fi character than a classic horror beastie.  

In this issue, the first meeting between Spidey and Jack Russell (and yes folks, Werewolf by Night is named Jack Russell), Spidey and Wolfy team up to take on the evil wizard Moondark. Really, the issue consists of Werewolf by Night popping up and Spidey punching the poor were-beast into the middle of next week, and then defeating Moondark single handedly.  

read more: 13 Essential Werewolf Movies

Spider-Man and Werewolf by Night don’t really spend much time together, but if they did, what were they supposed to do? Go for a long walk together? Play fetch? Punching is pretty much the order of the day when werewolf and classic superhero get together, and punch they did in the first meeting between hero and werewolf.

Spider-Woman #19 (1979)

By Steven Grant, Mark Gruenwald, and Carmine Infantino

So Werewolf by Night is pretty much the classic Wolfman character, just younger. Poor Jack Russell must battle his savage instincts when he turns into the Werewolf by Night and survive in a world that views him as a monster. But there have been times in the character’s long history where Russell has complete control of the werewolf. At these times, Werewolf by Night is kind of like a really hairy Spider-Man type, what with the crime fighting and the humorous quips. It can be said the Werewolf by Night is a perfect amalgamation of Marvel superhero and Marvel horror icon all wrapped up in a really fuzzy, fanged package.

read more: The Best Horror Movies on Amazon Prime

The heroic Werewolf was on full display in Spider-Woman #19 as the costumed hero and altruistic lycanthrope take on the heavily armed mercenary known as Enforcer. This issue, Spider-Woman and Russell strike up a friendship that would be revisited a number of times over the decades. I guess every woman needs a werewolf pal to confide in? No? Well, how about we leave it at that this is a pretty killer atmospheric issue that fully utilizes all the heroic aspects of Werewolf by Night.

Spider-Woman #32 (1980)

By Michael Fleisher and Steve Leialoha

Look at that Frank Miller and Klaus Janson cover. Look at those perfectly rendered drawings of Spider-Woman and Werewolf by Night framed by posters of some of Hollywood’s most famous monsters. Is that not the most glorious Halloween looking comic cover you’ve ever seen? The insides of this issue ain’t bad either as Spider-Woman and Werewolf by Night renew their heroic bond by teaming up to bring down the evil Doctor Karl Malus and the mysterious villain known as the Hornet. During the course of this issue, Malus controls Russell’s hairy alter ego, but Spider-Woman is able to free her monster pal and take the fight to the villains.

But for real man, I can stare at the glorious Frank Miller cover until next Halloween.

Marvel Team-Up #93 (1980)

Man, Werewolf by Night teamed up with a lot of Spider people, huh? Well, in this spider/wolf throw down, Jack Russell and Spidey join together to face the Tatterdemalion. What is Tatterdemalion’s deal you ask (other than being impossible to spell)? Well, he is really strong and he really, really smells.

Tatterdemalion hates wealth and fancy things and dresses in a suit of horribly dirty rags and attacks the rich. He also sticks to things, so he has that going for him. The Tatterdemalion first appeared in Werewolf by Night’s own solo title and that conflict leaks over into the werewolf’s second team up with Spider-Man.

read more: The 25 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen

Think about it, Tatterdemalion is sticky and smells really bad, and Werewolf by Night is covered in hair. That can’t be an easy post-fight clean up. But Tatterdemalion is a perfect horror/super villain type of rogue. He’s a sewer lurker that is really unsettling and is right at home fighting super hero or monster, and he does a little bit of both in this monstrous team up comic.

West Coast Avengers #5 (1986)

By Steve Englehart and Al Milgrom

Here’s a fun fact. Two pretty important Marvel super heroes were introduced in books starring Werewolf by Night. First, the great Moon Knight was introduced in Werewolf by Night #32 (1975) and one time Avenger, Tigra the Were-Woman was introduced in Giant Size Creatures Featuring Werewolf by Night #1 (1974). Moon Knight went on to become one of Marvel’s most popular street level heroes (and inevitable Netflix star, you know it’s going to happen and the series better freakin’ feature Werewolf by Night) and Tigra went on to star in many Marvel team books.

read more: 25 Awesome Spooky Movies

In this issue of West Coast Avengers, the Westies believe that Tigra, who was transformed into a were-cat by a race known as the Cat People (well, what would you call them?) may have a link to Jack Russell. So the Avengers track down the Werewolf by Night and jump him. That’s not cool. It was a brief Werewolf by Night appearance but it was nice to see him reunite with Tigra. After all, she was introduced in a Werewolf by Night feature.

That’s our Wolfie, launching superhero careers like nobody’s business. Hey man, it just goes to show you that Werewolf by Night was a big deal once...and will be again when he get his own Netflix series (it’s going to happen, Den of Geek mastermind Mike Cecchini is currently willing it to).

Iron Man #209 (1986)

By Dennis Mallonee and Rick Hoberg

Hey check this out, Iron Man was a bit of a monster magnet himself, teaming up with Frankenstein’s Monster and now Werewolf by Night. In this issue, Werewolf by Night’s sister gets possessed by the evil magic of Morgan Le Fay. Tony Stark must team with the Werewolf to battle Le Fay and free Russell’s beloved sibling.

So you have a Universal Pictures inspired monster hero teaming up with a classic Marvel icon to take on a fatale ripped from Arthurian folklore. What’s not to love about this? Technology meets classic monster goodness meets ancient legend. Get thee to a back issue bin!

Captain America #330 (1987)

By Mark Gruenwald and Tom Morgan

Do you know that Werewolf by Night was a member of a superhero team? Huh, didja? Well, he was and they were a unique bunch of bananas, I’ll tell you that.

In Captain America #330, Marvel introduced Night Shift, a group of horror themed characters that were pretty much all the supporting characters and villains left over from the defunct Spider-Woman title. The team consisted of Werewolf by Night, Brothers Grimm, Gypsy Moth, Tick Tock, Digger, Needle, and Tatterdemalion and was led by the Shroud. The team fought crime by pretending to be a gang of criminals, but were in fact a team of strange heroes dedicated to taking the underworld down from the inside. Most of the team were reformed Spider-Woman villains, but the Shroud’s right hand man was Werewolf by Night.

read more: The Underrated Horror Movies of the 1990s

Night Shift was such a weird concept that it really needs to be brought back. Think about it, the ranks of this strange team could be home to many of Marvel’s almost forgotten horror heroes.

X-Factor #222-224 (2011)

By Peter David and Emanuela Lupacchino

In these issues of X-Factor, the mutant known as Wolfsbane was about to give birth to a half lycanthrope mutant and half Asgardian baby. In honor of this event, many of Marvel’s wolf characters gathered to welcome this part mutant part werewolf part god to the world. Included in the gathering was Werewolf by Night. It was like a werewolf nativity scene and I’m just going to leave that sitting there.

read more: 13 Brilliant Horror Movies Under 90 Minutes Long

Listen though, anything Peter David writes is worth reading and he really crafted a very interesting Werewolf by Night and I would read the heck out of a Jack Russell series penned by David.

The Living Mummy

Marvel Two-in-One #95 (1983)

By David Kraft and Alan Kupperberg

Yes, Marvel has a mummy to call its very own. N’Kantu the Living Mummy was once an African king who was imprisoned and cursed to walk the Earth as an unholy monstrosity. The Living Mummy starred in his own short lived series in the pages of Supernatural Thrillers and then appeared sporadically around the fringes of the Marvel Universe. Unlike the many Universal mummies, N’Kantu is a heroic if tragic figure. But he’s a dude that shambles around in dusty bandages so he hasn’t had the impact of Marvel monsters like Dracula and Werewolf by Night. But that hasn’t stopped the Living Mummy from getting around now and again.

read more: 13 Essential Mummy Movies

Take this issue of Marvel Two-in-One. Ben Grimm’s best gal Alicia is possessed by an ancient spirit, the Thing and the Living Mummy must team up in order to free Alicia and defeat the evil Nephrus. Well, they don’t so much as team up but appear on a few pages together before the Mummy shambles off into the desert. But it counts, the Living Mummy and the Thing, fighting the good fight together, kinda, almost.

Captain America #361 (1989)

By Mark Gruenwald and Kieron Dwyer

The late, great writer Mark Gruenwald was never one to leave any obscure character unexplored, and he found a way to incorporate the Living Mummy into the bright and shiny world of Captain America. When Cap and his partner and lover Diamondback were hunting down the fabled bloodstones, they convince the Living Mummy to hand over the Bloodgem in a story completely unrelated to Infinity Gauntlet.

read more: 28 Alternative Horror Movies Worth Watching

But there was something incongruously awesome about seeing a guy dressed as the American flag team with a dude dressed up like Boris Karloff’s second most famous monster.

Quasar #46 (1993)

By Mark Gruenwald and Andy Smith

Has everyone been a member of a super team at one point or another? Get this motley crew. Doctor Druid, Shadowoman, the Blazing Skull, and the Living Mummy- otherwise known as Shock Troop! This team of also-rans and never was-es helped Quasar take on the villain known as Quagmire (giggity).

read more: The 31 Best Segments From Horror Anthology Movies

I guess this team quietly disbanded soon afterwards because what else were they supposed to do? Marvel, bring back the Shock Troop. I mean, you’re leaving at least $2.13 on the table here.

Civil War #7 (2007)

By Mark Millar and Steve McNiven

You might think that Living Mummy is small potatoes as far as Marvel monsters goes but he actually took part in the biggest Marvel event of all time. N’Kantu can be seen as part of the anti-registration forces in the climactic battle between Iron Man and Captain America in the first Civil War. Now, imagine how cool it would be if Cap had a mummy on his side (no explanation, just a mummy) in the Civil War film.

The Living Mummy was present during Civil War because like Frankenstein, N’Kantu was a member of the Howling Commandos of SHIELD. The Mummy felt like he was being forced into servitude and not wanting to live the life (or unlife) of a slave, the Living Mummy rebelled. This led to imprisonment and the eventual riot that became the inciting event of the conclusion of Civil War. In the worlds of Ulysses S. Grant, “t’aint a proper Civil War ‘til a Mummy gets involved!” Or something.

Currently, the Living Mummy is a member of the Legion of Monsters and as such has met and fought with and against Deadpool (Deadpool Team-Up #894) and the Red Hulk (Hulk Vol 2 #52) but we just wanted to focus on the Living Mummy as a solo act.

Zombie

Daredevil Annual #9 (1993)

Yup, Marvel has a zombie and his name is Zombie. Well, his name used to be Simon Garth until a voodoo curse transformed poor Garth into the Zombie.

Before zombies were really a thing in comics, Garth starred in the Bronze Age black and white magazine Tales of the Zombie. Unlike the zombies that are turned into jelly by Rick and Michonne in The Walking Dead, Garth maintained his free will. So basically, he’s a rotting, shambling, fresh hungry walking corpse, but he’s fully aware of this situation. That sucks for him.

Garth’s free will was on full display when he helped Daredevil defeat the voodoo queen and sometimes groupie of Kraven the Hunter, the evil Calypso. With all that Walking Dead money floating around, it’s a wonder that Marvel doesn’t do more with its Zombie. But hey, Garth met Daredevil once in this ultra-esoteric annual, so that’s something.

Manphibian

Uncanny Avengers Annual #1 (2014)

By Rick Remender and Paul Renaud

And we conclude with Marvel’s version of the Creature from the Black Lagoon: Manphibian! Man is that fun to say, Manphibian, Manphibian, Manphibian!

Anyway, Manphibian (Manphibian!) is actually an alien being that crash landed on Earth while pursuing the murderer of his mate across the cosmos. Both murderer and Manphibian were tapped on Earth and became monsters of myth and legend. Manphibian appeared in the Frankencastle saga (don't ask) and also joined the Howling Commandos.

read more: A Brief History of the Creature From the Black Lagoon Franchise

But for a very brief moment, Manphibian was a member of his own team of Avengers. In Uncanny Avengers Annual #1, Manphibian joined with Ghost Rider, Doctor Strange, Blade, Satana, and Man-Thing to become the Avengers of the Supernatural. This group of monstrous Avengers teams with the Uncanny Avengers against Mojo and then disbands five minutes later, which is a shame because I would spend good cash money to read about this team on a regular basis.

So there you have it, some classic monsters joining forces with the super heroes that share their world. We’re sure many more monstrous adventure are on the way to the Marvel Universe, so remember, sometimes the things that go bump in the night are just as brave and selfless as the bright and shiny super heroes that get all the press. So be kind to the shambling, snarling creatures of darkness, they deserve love too. Excelsior!

Read and download the Den of Geek NYCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Feature Marc Buxton

Oct 14, 2019

Marvel

Dracula

Frankenstein

31 Days of Horror

from Books https://ift.tt/2SpjPBf

[shirtlesssammy]

4x07: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

We’ve already recapped the closest episode to a Thanksgiving episode Supernatural has so we thought we’d pick another holiday episode this week. Since Cas and Sam’s friendship is getting a little more screen time this season, we thought we’d go back to the beginning and recap the episode where they meet. Yay!

Then:

This badass graced our screens for the first time.

Now:

Ah, Halloween. A young mother comes home loaded down with a literal bucket of candy. Her husband wants to taste test for quality control, but she shoos him away. She then heads upstairs to give their baby a bath --the husband coming in a minute. First, he needs to sneak in a few pieces of candy!

After eating a piece, the husband starts to gag, and finds a razor lodged in his mouth. He starts coughing up blood and razors and dies on the kitchen floor just in time for his wife and baby to find him.

One Day Before Halloween

Agents Sam and Dean are interviewing, Mrs. Wallace, the victim’s wife. Dean finds a hexbag. Sam asks about enemies her husband might have had.

Back at their hotel, Sam is researching the contents of the hexbag. Dean is scarfing down candy (razors or not, I agree with your plan, Dean!). Neither brother can find a reason for Luke Wallace’s death.

At a Halloween party (no booze=lame), Jenny and Tracy, who are clearly rivaling for one dude’s attention (NOT WORTH IT), arrive to assess the lameness. Tracy decides to liven the festivities up by bobbing for apples. Jenny follows, only she gets stuck under the water while it starts to boil and she dies a horrible burning death that I can’t imagine.

Later, Sam and Dean arrive at the crime scene. Dean is gross. Sam finds a hexbag.

While researching the second death, Sam discovers that this might be part of a spell. “Three blood sacrifices over three days, the last before midnight on the final day of the final harvest.” This spell is summoning a demon. Samhain to be exact. (My headcanon is that they mispronounce Samhain because they’re in a completely different universe than ours.) This ritual can only take place once every 600 years. This year just happens to be that year. Of Course! When Samhain rises, every evil and bad thing Sam and Dean fight will rise with him.

On a stakeout, Dean continues to eat his Hell stress away.

While he’s complaining to Sam on the phone, he watches Tracy walk up to the Wallace house. Son of a bitch.

This is A Look:

Sam finds some dirt on Tracy. She’s been suspended from school in the past for an altercation with a teacher. They head to the school.

In the art room, Dean sees horrific masks that clearly remind him of Hell. “Bring back memories?” Sam asks. OUCH. Sam was just talking about high school though (of which Dean didn’t really get to experience and didn’t finish.) Don, the art teacher, comes in and the brothers ask about their altercation. “I was only trying to rap with her about her work.” Far out, man. But really, it seems that Tracy’s art was getting a bit too violent for school appropriate work. Cryptic symbols and gory drawings. The brothers wonder where Tracy is now, and Don reveals that she lives in an apartment.

Later, the boys reconvene at their motel. Tracy is AWOL. A little trick or treater is eager for candy.

Dean ate it all. Then he fat shames the poor kid. The kid has a death stare to end all death stares so I think he’s winning. (Natasha: #TeamKidAstronaut)

Sam forges ahead of Dean and finds an intruder in their room.

“Who are you?!”

“Sam! Sam, wait! It’s Castiel.”

(I just love that both Sam and Mary got to meet Cas the same way --with guns drawn and Dean rushing over to stop them.)

There’s Bunny Colvin another angel there as well, but Dean doesn’t know him.

Sam is SUCH A CUTE BEAN meeting Cas. He’s so flustered and excited. And Cas just poops all over his excitement.

He calls him the boy with the demon blood and congratulates him on stopping his “extracurricular activities.” He then asks Dean if they’ve stopped the rising of Samhain. They haven’t. And now the witch is wise to them. Cas found a hexbag in their room.

AAGGHH, Cas is foreign and formal and he doesn’t even look at Dean (haha, they’ll have plenty of time to stare and stare at each other in the next scene.) Cas informs the brothers that the rising of Samhain will break one of the 66 seals. It must be stopped.

For Posterity:

Uriel, the other angel, is a specialist and he’s here to destroy the town. Dean is incredulous. They can’t destroy this town. Cas is thinking big picture though --destroy the town, save humanity.

Dean’s got to stare think on that.

Sam is incredulous too. “No, you can’t do this, you’re angels, I mean aren’t you supposed to – You’re supposed to show mercy.” Lol, Sam, welcome to the reality of angels on Supernatural. It is a bit crushing to watch Sam’s faith get burnt a bit here. Dean then pulls out the Free Will big guns and asks Cas, “You’ve never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers?” Cas bites back with a rhetorical question about John Winchester. Dean’s digging his heels in though. If they’re going to destroy this town, they’re going to destroy Sam and Dean along with it.

Cas acquiesces.

Dean and Sam emerge to find Baby egged. BABY. Heads will roll for this, I swear to god. (Uh, #TeamKidAstronaut?)

In the car, Sam contemplates the hex bag and confronts his disappointment with the righteously dickish reality of angels. Dean urges Sam to not abandon his faith. (Dean Bean!) Sam gently absorbs this moment of brotherly insight and then realizes that the charred bone in the hex bag was cooked by an industrial heat source. Moment. Over.

At the school's art room they narrow the bone char down to the kiln and find a heavily locked drawer in the teacher's desk. In the drawer they find a bowl of children's bones. Blegh.

Meanwhile, Castiel and Uriel hang out in a park, Uriel casually dropping insults to humanity so fast it's like he's on an I HATE HUMANS game show.

Cas admonishes Uriel for maligning God's favored creations and counsels him to settle down and wait to see what happens with Dean and Sam. Uriel proposes yoinking the Winchesters elsewhere before blowing the town straight to Hell, but Cas tells him they need to follow their “true orders,” whatever those are.

On Halloween night, costumed children walk past creepy garden displays while within one very normal looking house, the girl from earlier is held captive in the basement of the witch/teacher's house. He creepily draws his knife down her breast (ew), raising his arm for the killing blow (jerk), when his chest gets riddled with holes. It's the Winchesters! Yay! They save the totally innocent girl, who backs away and begins to...sneer at her dead witch brother on the floor. Before the Winchesters can kill her she power blasts them across the room and presumably holds onto their guts (or their balls?) while she monologues.

While she works a spell to bring Samhain into the world, Sam smears blood over his face and that of his brother's. Is it the latest facial trend? Time will tell. The floor splits open and black demon fog emerges. It gives Sam and Dean the miss and then swoops into Don’s dead body.

“My love,” the witch greets Samhain with a kiss (me: gags at the incestual overtones). He greets her with, “You've aged.” EXCUSE ME, MOTHERFUCKER?

Samhain clearly isn’t one for loving reunions because he immediately snaps her neck and surveys his surroundings. It's time to PAR-TAY. He stares at Dean and Sam, who lie still on the floor, and then shambles past them. After he leaves, Dean asks Sam about the blood. It turns out, Sam gave them both a nice blood mask because masks are what people used to use to hide from Samhain. Nice work, Sam! As an added bonus, that blood mask should also keep away the bunnies. (You're welcome, Dean?) Samhain stumbles through town, past unsuspecting costumed children. Dean and Sam race for the cemetery to head him off.

Sam proposes whipping out his super magic psychic mojo to fight Samhain. Dean begs him to not use his power, handing off Ruby's knife instead.

At the crypt, the not-mourning-their-friend-at-all teens throw their Halloween party when they hear a noise. It's definitely not the cops, unless the cops are six feet tall, undead, and covered in blood. Samhain locks the confused kids into the vault and walks away again without a word. Oooookay. And then behind them, the vaults begin to rattle. The dead are coming out. Sort of. They pull kids into the vaults like sand worms and shoot out viscera, blood canon-style. Dean finds them, shoots out the lock, and joins the party - I mean, saves the kids.

It’s zombie dance off time, baby.

Sam heads off to fight Samhain, who tries and fails to power blast Sam.

They engage in fisticuffs, a demon’s favorite way to hold an ultimate battle. Sam uses his powers to suck the demon essence from Samhain and send him back to Hell, but Samhain's strong. He advances, step by step. It's slow enough that Dean has time to head upstairs and witness his brother mind-whammy the demon straight back to Hell. Err....awkward.

Samhain filters back down to Hell, leaving the Winchesters to shoot sad puppy eyes at each other instead.

The next day, they pack up and get ready to leave. Uriel zaps in to rub salt in the wound, and tells Sam that he was told not to use his powers. Sam tells Uriel that his powers saved the town, thank you very much. Uriel uses his wings to flap about 4 feet across the room so that he lands right in front of Sam's face. DRAMA LLAMA ALERT. Uriel threatens to annihilate Sam as soon as Heaven doesn't need him anymore. “As for your brother,” Uriel advises Sam, he should “climb off that high horse of his.” Sam should ask Dean about what he remembers from Hell. (Us, in a chorus: we wish we couldn't feel a damn thing.)

At the same playground where Cas and Uriel observed humanity, Dean sits contemplatively on the park bench.

Cas appears on the other bench and Dean gives him a less-than-warm welcome. “You're here for the I told you so.” Nope. In fact, Cas tells Dean that their true orders weren't to stop the summoning of Samhain. Instead, their orders were to do whatever Dean and Sam told them to do.

“It was a test to see how you might perform under battlefield conditions.” Dean loves this revelation (not). He defiantly tells Cas that he saved the town – including the kids playing in front of them. And that's enough for him.

Cas reveals that he was praying for Dean and Sam to save the town. “These people – they're all my father's creations. They're works of art.” With the Samhain seal broken, they're one step closer to Hell for everyone on Earth and Cas and Dean share a knowing moment about the reality of Hell's horrors. “Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?” Cas asks. “I'm not a...hammer, as you say. I have questions. I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore.” He tells Dean the coming months will continue to test him. It's clear they'll test Cas as well. Cas flaps out.

What in the Sam-Quotes is this?

It’s Halloween, man.

Those little dudes are scary. Small hands.

Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year-old hag and you could pick any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would, hmm…

For us, every day is Halloween.

You're angels! You're supposed to show mercy.

There's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission.

Babe Ruth's a dick but baseball's still a beautiful game.

Zombie ghost orgy, huh? Well, that's it. I'm torching everybody.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!