#but instead im going to think about being alive on this planet and how neat that is

[battle-of-alberta]

So uh idk if you knew this but fun fact! A large majority of Canada's navy is made up of Albertans. I've been told its because " We don't know any better."

Drumheller belongs to @zomsaurus

I bet you did not expect me to go off on the geologic timescale tangent im sorry. Not a geologist/paleontologist so forgive the shoddy maps.

The joke is that Albertans are born in Saskatchewan and die in British Columbia because we all want to retire on the coast. Why the navy and not the air force like god intended, who knows...

[acemeaskipper]

okay this is so much longer than I thought it’d be, but okay. i started thinking of this au where instead of joining red dwarf to get back to earth, Lister joins to get away from earth and all the bad memories there. He works a little harder, understands Rimmer a bit more, and unfortunately, doesn’t have Frankenstein.

and this is a little fic about Lister’s first day on red dwarf and his meeting with Rimmer. It’s lowkey shippy, but only a little. Yeah, enjoy.

A star exploded the day Lister left earth. The supernova had reflected multicoloured on the inside walls of Red Dwarf, nearly blinding him.

He wasn’t sure if it was a sign of some sort, but regardless, it had been an interesting way to start his new job. More interesting than his room at least.

It was both bigger and smaller than he thought it’d be, and painfully plain. If only they were allowed to paint the walls, or get a nice rug or carpet, Lister mused, then it may look a little less like a sci-fi hell. Oh well, he was sure if he covered the walls in enough photos and posters it could look a little bit more like home. It wasn’t as if he was going to be here long anyway, he could handle a boring room.

He tightened his grip on his suitcase, shifted the strap of his backpack a little then walked in.

“Hello, Dave. You like the room?”

“Agh!”

Lister jumped and spun around to the source of the voice. The face of a tired-looking man on a screen. Ah, right. The AI, Holly. He briefly wondered why they had decided to make their AI look so exhausted, but shrugged the thought away. People were weird, what the hell.

“Uh, hi. Holly, righ’?”

“That’s right, my dude. So?”

“It’s alrigh’,” Lister shrugged, “I guess.”

“Bit boring, ain’t it?” Holly agreed.

“Yeah, it is. Is it at least warm?”

“Sometimes.”

“Great, great…”

“Oh, and heads up, your roommate is coming soon. Good luck.”

“Uh, thanks?”

“Don’t mention it,” Holly nodded, “Catch you later, dude.”

“Yeah…”

Holly disappeared, and Dave couldn’t help but snicker. Dude? They hadn’t mentioned that about Holly in the leaflet. Maybe it was intentional, a strange surprise for new workers. He supposed that was one way to prepare people for the weirdness of space, having the AI who looked like a middle-aged man going around say ‘dude’.

He shook his head and moved closer to the bunk beds, looking them over.

It was honestly hard to tell which one was already occupied, both beds were both neat, tidy and lacking in any personality whatsoever. There was one colourful timetable stuck on the wall next to the bottom bunk, however, and Lister concluded it was probably taken.

It seemed strange how bare the walls were, though. No pictures of family or friends, no posters, no nothing. Had this person only just moved in too? No, he knew for a fact this person had already been here a year or two at least. And gone through six roommates in the span of three months. A slightly daunting fact, but hopefully, the number would stay at six.

He slung his bags onto the top bunk, decided to unpack them later… maybe. The week was young after all, he’d have plenty of time to do that later.

Lister sat down on one of the chairs in the room and took a deep breath. Hardly nothing had happened, and already he was exhausted. His eyes ached, his limbs felt heavy, and he let out a yawn. A nap would be nice… but snoring probably wasn’t the best way to introduce yourself to your new roommate, so Lister held off.

He ran his fingers over his hair and tried to think of something to keep himself away. Maybe he should go back to dreadlocks, he thought, that’d been fun back when he was a teen. But. But he didn’t have anyone to help him with them anymore.

He’d left them all behind, just like they had left him.

Of course, he was alive when they had left, and they were all just bones now. So maybe it wasn’t a fair comparison… Lister hoped his friend Camille would remember to put flowers on all the graves every month, just like he’d asked. They probably wouldn’t, always too caught up in the drama that was their Casablanca-love affair to think of much else, but he could hope.

Lister sighed and slouched in his chair. Nah, his hair was fine as it was. Loose and tied back. He looked fine. Fine.

Then, the door opened.

The person on the other side didn’t walk in immediately, too busy snapping at someone Lister couldn’t see, to notice the door had opened.

A tall, skinny white guy with pale skin, and light brown curls that had been clearly forced into a flat and dull style. Every inch of his body screamed ‘tense’ as he barked insults, face going ever so slightly red.

Ah, what luck.

Lister stood up and waited until the yelling had stopped to speak.

“You’re Howie’s brother, aren’t you?”

The guy’s snapped in Lister’s direction, and Lister had the urge to apologise and slowly back away.

“’Howie’? The man repeated.

Yep, that was definitely him, Lister knew. He’d only met one other person before with such an obnoxiously posh voice, which he had been told was common on that planet.

“Sorry, Howard,” Lister apologised, “You’re Arnold Rimmer, right?”

Rimmer frowned even more.

“Yes, I am.”

Lister walked towards him, and with a big smile, held out his hand.

“I’m David Lister.”

“Oh.”

Rimmer’s frown dropped into something less ‘I will fucking kill you’ and more ‘ew, there’s a dead bug in my drink’. He did shake Lister’s hand at least.

“Howard’s told us about you,” Rimmer continued, “Poor little orphan boy from earth somehow manages to get into Io’s Space Corps training program on a scholarship, truly a success story for the ages.”

Lister twisted his lip but said nothing. Howard had warned him that his little brother could put a lemon to shame with how bitter he was, but Lister had been hoping Rimmer wouldn’t be this bad from the get-go.

“Doesn’t really mean anything though,” Lister shrugged, “Now tha’ I’m here, as a third blood technician.”

Was it too much to ask that he was at least made a second technician with all his qualifications? Maybe he was just being prideful, but he’d thought he enough skills to be more than a vending machine fixer.

But at that, Rimmer pulled himself to stand straighter and smiled. He looked a lot better now, Lister mused. Almost handsome.

“Third technician, aye? Well, don’t you worry, miladdo-”

“Mi-whatto?”

“-you’re in good hands with me.”

“Huh?”

“If you’re a third technician and my roommate, you’re likely to be working the Z Shift with me, as your immediate superior officer,” Rimmer explained.

Lister gave what he hoped looked like a real smile.

“Great.”

“Still though, I don’t see why on Io you would leave the Space Corps,” Rimmer mused.

“Because it’s filled with pompous, trust-fund pricks who like to spend their evenings bragging about how big their guns are.”

Also, it was a lot of work. A lot of hard work. A month in and Lister had already been ready to drop. He wasn’t too surprised when a drunk Howard had blabbed about the high suicide rate there.

Rimmer let out a sharp laugh at that, then quickly shut his mouth and blinked. He almost looked surprised. But he quickly shook his head and moved on.

“Yes, but it’s the Space Corps! It’s where you go if you want a career in space!”

“I don’t want a career; I just want to get away from Earth.”

Earth was a place were babies were abandoned under pub tables, were parents disappeared and left you a crying kid, and grans died just when you needed them most. Where people broke your heart and laughed, where people called you stupid and said you’d never amount to anything, so suck it up, buttercup.

Rimmer pursed his lips.

“I supposed I could understand wanting to get away from that horrid little planet, but really… giving up a job on the Space Corps for this?”

Lister shrugged.

“I just want to get some cash, find a nice planet with a nice beach, then settle down. Maybe open a farm, get a cat, sheep, horses, then spend the rest of my days doing whatever the hell I want.”

Rimmer didn’t seem to get it.

“But you could have been an officer! Howard said so, and he’s not one to give out praise like that.”

“Why’d you want to be an officer? They’re all smegheads, I mean, just look at your brothers.”

That earned another out of Rimmer, one that wasn’t as sharp and lasted a little longer. There, that was better, Lister grinned. Not the prettiest laugh ever, but he didn’t sound half bad.

“Fair point,” Rimmer said.

And before he could continue with ‘but still’, Lister began speaking again.

“The though’ of ending up like Howard could put anyone off wanting to be an officer, honestly.”

“Really? You didn’t like him? He seemed awfully fond of you…”

“Hid it,” Lister shrugged, “He was my tutor and said he’d help me get here, so couldn’t bitch about him too much. Wanted to though, I never had any free time thanks to ‘im. Almost every night I had to drag him out of the bar and to ‘is room.”

“What?!” Rimmer exclaimed.

“Yeah, don’t think he had any friends, so he’d bribe me into fetching ‘im. Used to buy cigarettes off me too. Dunno why he wouldn’ jus’ buy them himself, a lot of other officers smoked too…”

Slowly, a giant (slightly mad-looking) smile grew on Rimmer’s face.

“Really? He told mother he had a ton of friends.”

Lister wondered if he should mention it. On the one hand, it could lead to Rimmer freaking out (Howard had mentioned that Rimmer was a bit… neurotic), but on the other… it didn’t seem right not to mention it.

“Must be invisible then, ‘cause he was always alone when he went out… he told me a lot about you when he was drunk. The things him and the other two used to do to you.”

The smile dropped off Rimmer’s face.

“Oh.”

Lister risked it and gave Rimmer a pat on the arm. Rimmer looked at it like it was a radioactive butterfly; strange and possibly dangerous.

“Pretty shit childhood, huh?” Lister said. Rimmer stayed silent. “Mine was pretty fucked up too, so we match.”

Lister gave him a smile, then turned around to climb up onto his bunk bed.

Rimmer seemingly forgot to act like a human being for a few seconds, staring blankly into space while stood completely still. He shook it off a second later.

“No shoes on the bed,” he snapped.

“My feet aren’t on the bed though,” Lister pointed out.

Rimmer’s face went a little red.

“I- just take them off!”

“Okay, okay! They’re off!”

Lister kicked them off, leaving them to fall down loudly in a muddy pile next to the ladder. Rimmer frowned and glared at the shoes.

“And now you’ve made a mess, wonderful.”

“You better get used to tha’, I’m a bit of a slob,” Lister chuckled, “Oh, and I snore too. Sorry. I do have a sleep cpap machine, but it got broke on the way here. They said I’ll have to wait a day or two for a new one.”

“So, I’m not getting any sleep either, splendid.”

“I can’ help it.”

“Why don’t they put people like you in a room of your own? Or at least with other snoring smegheads,” Rimmer muttered.

“Because tha’d be smart,” Lister snorted.

Rimmer looked a little happier. Right, compliments were the way to go if he wanted to survive this job. Lister could handle that; he could be a good suck-up if the situation called for it.

“Sounds like they could do with someone like you as an officer,” Lister said, “Might come up with some actual smart ideas.”

Rimmer lit up like the supernova and Lister’s heart fluttered a little.

Oh.

Handsome. Rimmer could be very handsome, it seemed. That was nice. Lister sent him back a lazy grin, revelling in the soft pink that settled on Rimmer’s cheeks. It’d been a while since he’d dated a man, Lister noted, maybe it was time to try again.

“I-I-,” Rimmer began. But then he stopped and shook his head. “Are you sure you’re even old enough to be here?”

Lister rolled his eyes.

“Course I am, man. Not like I could really trick anyone into thinkin’ I’m older than I am with this face, can I?”

“I suppose you’re right,” Rimmer agreed.

Lister wondered why Rimmer would care about his age- oh.

Rimmer coughed and looked away.

“Well, um, have you been given a tour of the ship yet?”

He had.

“No.”

Rimmer turned back around and smirked a little.

“Come on then, get your boots back on and I’ll show you around.”

“Oh, thanks, man.”

Lister grinned and hoped down. As he put his boots on, he could feel Rimmer’s eyes on him. Yes, he decided, as he tied on his already tied laces for a few seconds later, this could be fun.

[kitsune-ryu-neko]

Voltron Season 3 Thoughts

Voltron Season 3 Thoughts

OH BOY I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS SEASON!!!

Alright, time for episode 1.  Warning!!! Spoilers

Epsiode 1: Changing of the Guard - Welp. It opens up to Keith desperately looking or trying to find any hope of Shiro still being….around… - Allura is having her own problems… - You know….I forgot about the Blade of Marmora helping them out… - Look at Lance….doing acrobats in a giant mecha cat - And then there is Hunk, thinking outside the box and doing a good job at it. - Ahhh man…..no one trusts the Blade of Marmora….I mean…I understand why they are hesitate or downright refuse….but it still kinda hurts… - Pidge is still looking for Matt, I see…. - OMG I love that outfit, Coran! XD - Shiro was brought up. And Keith isn’t having even the thought that he might not come back. - That was a very long shot of Haggar staring at Zarkon’s crystal healing pod thing. - Oooooohhhhh no one knows Zarkon isn’t up. Maybe he’s dead? Maybe he’s in a coma? Who knows? But Haggar is taking precautions to make sure no one knows…hmmm - So the cute Galra girl that is somehow connected to Lotor I’m sure…..can act like a chameleon? - WOW KEITH WOW. THAT WAS SO STUPID OMFG - Oooooohhh an arena! What fight are we gonna see? - You know…I don’t know whether to be relieved or a bit scared that these Galra are pretty dang smart. ……I actually like that they caught on to Haggar’s game. - WAIT A SECOND. Why is Lotor exiled?!?!? - Half breeds huh…..(Keith bonding moment anyone?) - HOW THE FUCK DID LOTOR HEAR ANY OF THAT?!?! - ohhh his little team must have told him….somehow…….ok who there has telepathic powers? - You KNOW….if he’s a half breed…..and prossibly Galra and Altean….does that mean he has the abilities of BOTH species? - FUCK! Ok I kinda like that he doesn’t kill or enslave all the people he comes across…..Loyalty can get you pretty far compared to fear… - Oh no he is good….Wasted energy in fighting people you have conquered instead of gaining loyalty and multiplying all their armies…….its a good strategy but bad news for the paladins… - Oooohhhh it was all an act. Interesting. I really like that too….also very bad for the paladins though…But so far Lotor is pretty damn interesting. - EVERYONE JUST LOOKS TO LANCE WOW - Episode ends on them going to figure out how to reform Voltron o3o - We all know where this is going…

 Episode 2: Red Paladin - This could red to both Keith and Lance… It opens up to the awesome galra ladies. They are good. Nd one can see through the eyes of her cat. Awesome o3o Lotor is so persuasive….he’s really god at this whole manipulating thing. - OMG Pidge and Hunk are finally asking the real questiong XD - oh shit things are going down o-o - Keith I would NEVER trust youy with a secret - Keith….I feel sorry for you…. You’re like the reluctant anime protagonist - aww man poor allura… - OMFG Blue isn’t responding to Lance??? DX - I guess it knows red needs Lance now… - I can’t- I CAN actually believe he is trying pickup line on Blue - Alright !!! Keith pilots Black, Lance pilots Red, and Allura pilots Blue o3o - At least Lotor knows how to get info and he isn’t stupid… - Allura wearing pink to honor fallen warriors ~ - Lance giving her the blue bayard ! - Keith!!!!!!!!!!! DX That wasn’t that great….not only could you have told them about your plan, but you could have stopped to discuss this with everyone, especially since there are THREE of you that aren’t really that great with how to pilot the lions yet.

 Epsiode 3: The Hunted - Lotor is gonna go fight them - Yeah Keith…so far….your leadership skills….aren’t showing… - At least you own up to your mistakes keith… - OMFG “What would Lance do?” ?!?!?! ALLURA!!! XD - Allura and Keith and Lance have to all bond with their lions now… - SHIT LOTOR FOUND HER - “HUNK I’M A LEG!!!” XD - Ok Lotor and Keith’s little speech about leadership and fighting later…is too parallel to each other…

 Episode 4: Hole in the Sky - Oooohhh Altean distress code….no….any time things like this happen…its usually a trap - ALLURA!!! Now you’re being stupid! I mean I know Altean and all that but come on!!! - You know…this ship…and quintessence….and Pidge’s understand of reality isn’t the same as whatever it is that is surrounding the ship or the source of all that….So….from what I’m getting is that…..Slav was introduced for a reason and if its not anything from this reality then….what about another reality? - Voltron isn’t being affected….and wasn’t Voltron connected to quintessence? I hope this is another reality guys… o-o - Coran thinks they are dead…but they aren’t….HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM - I wonder if there are actually still living Alteans then….just in another reality…. - Alternate reality…where is Slav when you need him? - Also if Shiro isn’t in another reality then idk where the fuck he is.. - Also the inside of this ship reminds me of the “Upside Down” from Stranger things and that’s also….a parallel reality/universe… - HOLY FUCK IS THAT SLAV?!?!?!? O_O - Also….<_< - You know I kinda figure it was Shiro…but im like 99% sure it ISNT Shiro….SO who the fuck are you dopple ganger? <_< I bet you’re an alternate reality shiro… - OH HE’S GOT AN ACCENT SO I GUESS WE ALL KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING - it IS Sven. Well that’s a neat twist. Can’t say I didn’t see it coming… - Ok wait…XD I just think its HILARIOUS that this alternate reality Shiro, Sven, is actually getting along and working with this alternate reality Slav - “Empress” <_< Well something tells me that still got the wrong person…. - I wouldn’t trust these Alteans….if its an alternate reality…then that means that the alteans were the so called “bad guys” right? - You know if at some point down the series….Lotor or whoever doesn’t make another Voltron to fight Voltron….I’m gonna be disappointed they didn’t take that chance. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL REALITIES?!?! JUST STICK TO YOUR REALITY!!!! - OOOOhhhhh Pidge is onto them!!! - Welp….they take away free will…of course… - The GUNS OF GAMARA OMFG XD - OMFG ALLURA QUIT BEING STUPID PLEASE ;-; - AAaannndddd now they are stuck there… QUICK! PIDGE! Get that part of the comet thing you cut off and use it to reality hop! - omfg Slav kills me XD - You know this kinda mirrors Shiro holding Lance back in season 1… - Well FUCK. Now not only can the Galra conquer the universe….but now they can conquer other realities too….great -_- - Pidge I hope you kept that piece….

Episode 5: The journey - ok I see a preview image of shiro o-o - Is this gonna be a flashback to when he was first captured? - ok this is weird…I cant tell if it’s a dream, flashback, or possibly current shiro….maybe all of them together? - Damn Shiro has some long hair…..idk if it suits him or not… - OH BOY…some weird flashback thing…that’s o-o creepy… - ok hold up…if that’s shiro…but that person is also shiro…and if this isn’t a dream….then maybe….because shiro was such a good warrior….that they might have….cloned him? - I mean….long haired shiro even has a scar on his face so it cant be past shiro unless this happened after he got the scar….but …idk…. Hmmm…..i think this is current… - Yeah its gotta be current…he has long hair and when he was found in season 1 his hair was still short…plus he has the white hair as well - but his outfit….HMMMMMMMMM……..i cant figure it out… - Whoops Haggar wants Lotor followed….but Lotor now has the trust of most Galra……I think he’s gonna try and overthrow Haggar and Zarkon now… - Well….what kind of giant fish creatures are on this icy planet? - Did…..did shiro just say he killed it??? When??? - Donttrustthatlake DONTTRUSTTHATLAKE!!! - I TOLD YOU!!! DX - I was thinking “someone please save him” but I didn’t actually think it would happen o-o - Aren’t those the two creatures/aliens from that meeting? - No its not… - oh cool so this IS current - A lot of time must have passed for his hair to grow out that long…. - that outfit shiro wears looks familiar - FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME SHIRO WAS THERE EVEN BACK THEN?!?!? DX SHIRO!!! - It couldn’t have been that long ago then….Keith was still out looking ……not enough time for shiro’s hair to grow to such length…. - Dude how the ever loving FUCK are you still alive??? 7 days…no food…no water….low on oxygen… - OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The black lion senses shiro o-o - THEY FOUND HIM FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! That was a lot sooner than I expected but FUCK YEAH!!

Epsiode 6: Tailing a Comet - Lance and Allura are awesome!!! - Poor Shiro….I get the feeling he wont be able to trust Black for a while… - Ok he has short hair again. But he look different and I cant quite put my finger on why… - It’s his hair…. - ……………………you know shiro is back but….i wonder if everyone is ready to give up their current positions…..and give shiro back leadership and the black lion… - Lance NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo Don’t give up blue ;-; - Aww man…not only did Lance have to go through this…but now Shiro….FUCK - Aww man….they gave Keith the position of Leader…but take it back as soon as Shiro comes back…..they don’t have much faith in Keith… I mean yeah…..his plan is ehh compared to Shiro’s because if Lotor gets that ship then he can be practically unstoppable…..but I do understand the position that Keith and Shiro are now in… - Ooooooooooohhhh was she that person he helped in the Weblum? - THAT WAS A NIFTY TRICK KEITH!!! XD - These poor guys are just learning about all this stuff … - I get the feeling this chick might change sides….What even are all their names? - Ooohhh Haggar doesn’t know anything about that group that helps Lotor….I did say earlier he was gonna betray them

Episode 7: The legend Begins - THAT TITLE - WHOA What were those flashbacks????? - OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH BACKSTORY~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Its weird seeing everyone not only younger looking….but also nice….im talking about you the most Zarkon <_< - OK OK OK BACK THE FUCK UP - How the hell does he know it can pass alternate realites? -Also…..that chick from the flashback….pretty sure it was Zarkon’s flashback…. - Oh so she isn’t from another reality….but she is altean….. - OK OK OK -OK OK LISTEN HERE SHOW - PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Im SORRY BUT SHOW WHY?!?!?! It’s HILARIOUS seeing Zarkon so flustered omfg…. - But that right there makes him a bit more relateable damn….. - YOU KNOW!!!!!!!! I thought that was just a younger Allura sitting beside Alfor…but no….it’s her mom….HOLY SHIT THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME XD - Also….Zarkon’s face at baby Allura XD - Ohhhh damn they got married….. - Zarkon and that one chick act a bit strange…..And then there is this creature…. - THAT APPARENTLY TOOK OVER WTF - Alfor’s planned probably doomed them and that’s why Zarkon hates him? - Nevermind the plan was Voltron - So that comet….gave the lions….sentience? - ok that one blue paladin acts EXACTLY like lance - so I guess these paladins aren’t going to expect Voltron….its just gonna happen - also that little thing turned into a big thing someone stop it - THEY ARE SO LIKE….THE EXACT THINGS THE OTHER PALADINS SAID WHEN THEY FIRST FORMED VOLTRON - WOW - yeah it’s the exact things…no wonder the lions chose current team Voltron XD - that’s a bit parallel to what shiro said to keith. “choose your battles” black paladin says to red paladin. “You have to know when its enough” says the red paladin to the black paladin. Hmmmmmmmmm - So that person is Haggar…makes sense….Wish I could have said I saw that one coming but she just looks so…..DIFFERENT from her usual self… -Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so that weird rift is what made Zarkon soo………well….like the way he is now…Interesting… - Shiitttt…. You know Zarkon this is still All Your Fault!!! Because if you had just listened, and we all know you aren’t good at that, then you betray your comrades and friends….and then you act like they are the ones that betrayed you?!?!! <_< -Ok so are you telling me that Haggar or whatever her real name is wasn’t even aware of anything as herself until just now??? - oh and crap…..Zarkon is awake again… Overall thoughts:  This was a transition season, I’m sure. We got a lot of info dumped into our hands and we and the characters have to sort it all out.  Something doesn’t add up with shiro to me. How was he captured again? Why is his hair so long if he wasn’t gone that long? What about his outfit? What about the Shiro that Shiro saw on the table? What was this thing about...Kuron? He’s been “Approved for use in Operation Kuron”.... I think this is a clone, and Kuron is his identity....and the real shiro is still on that table.....I don’t have a good feeling about this... Plus there is Keith.....Shiro and Keith are now both leaders.....And are both in trouble for it because each has their own unique way of leading... I guess Keith is gonna have to be leader a bit longer... Meanwhile...I think “clone” shiro thinks he is actually Shiro...so that’s gonna be sad if this theory is  right.... No sign of Matt or Sam yet....No Earth...no families...No mention of the Garrison.....I wanna know more about all of them...  Then there is the backstory of Voltron and Zarkon and Haggar and Alfor..... :/  Hopefully we get more answers in season 4. Can’t wait!!! 

[game84cube]

My Opinions on the Sonic Movie Trailer

Okay, I guess I better say something about this movie before I lose my credibility in the Sonic community. I saw the trailer at school and everyone was talking about how weird it was on campus. I loved it at first sight, since I thought Sonic was gonna look WAY worse. Anyway, let's go over the pros and cons.

Pros:

- The speed. They knew what they were doing with Sonic and his speed effects. I mean it makes sense, what with the people from Fast and Furious.

- That Spin Dash! Sonic's iconic move was displayed amazingly in that trailer and his strength was on full display. Also when he just plopped into his little hideout in the forest and he was that fuzzball, it looked great!

- Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik. I get what they're doing. This is an origin story. Robotnik is gonna deteriorate into the classic crazy villain we all know him as. That ending shot proved it. But yeah. He was clearly not fat enough, but he isn't quite...egged out yet. Sort of a Kintobor thing before Robotnik/Eggman. My dad has issues with it, but I think it's fine. Plus he's got good material as well. Sassy and smart. That's how I like my Eggs.

- The acting. Marsala is giving it his all, and he sure has experience in this. I imagine he's gonna be a good focal point of the movie since title characters in these movies are NEVER the focus but are there to say that it is indeed a titled character's movie. I think Tim will be fine. A little snarky to play off of Sonic as well. Honestly I loved that bit with the "That's not your child in that bag?" This was also a good reminder that Sonic is a teenager. Good move. I forget who's playing Ann, but she seems fine. No comment yet. And then we have the Hedgehog himself. Ben Schwartz, I tip my blue spiky hat to you! You know just how to make Sonic sound like...well... SONIC! That cockiness is perfect. The voice is natural, and I want MORE! I'm sure they got some good lines for him (and some bad ones but that's inevitable sadly)

- The animation in general. Say what you will about the design, but in motion, everything looks awesome! It flows, it doesn't look cheap, and the mech designs look incredible. The effects are well integrated and seem like they're unintrusive on reality. I like it. And really, Sonic looks good in some shots, especially doing what he does best. I'm so happy they got Sonic looking cool when on the move. If they failed at that, the whole thing would be a complete failure.

-The Easter Eggs and nods! Listen to the voice of the Commander of the military again. Now imagine that voice saying something like... "Sonic Adventure 2, Hero Side Story: Farewell Sonic, Forever." Tell me that isnt the same guy! That's an amazing Easter Egg. Also I hear one of the guys in the meeting voiced Grounder in Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. Also cool! The pike of shoes in Sonic's hideout was a neat touch. He was looking for some good new shoes. Something tells me those Nikes ain't gonna last through the movie since they ain't frictionless. I also noticed something really cute they pulled off. When Sonic did that Fitbit joke? Looking at his wrist condescendingly? Sound familiar? Almost idle? Sonic 2 idle animation perhaps? All that's missing is him tapping his t- WAIT! Yep, that's another thing I think when I think Sonic. The classic impatient toe tap. They got his attitude DOWN and I love it! And! They remember something I'm so happy about! HE'S 90'S AS FUCK!!! Sonic listened to Gangsta's Paradise on a cassette tape! That song is from the 90's! They got it! Sonic is not a modern boi. He is so lost in the last decades and that's why I love him. That old fashioned nature? That's what makes him more timeless to me.

- Check that hair. They got his hair right. Good. That's it. Sonic is also very defined by the classic shape of his hair.

- The Ring. Okay, hear me out. Yes, we're more familiar with Rings being used as a shield to prevent Sonic from dying from a hit. Um, did y'all forget the Giant Ring at the end of the level in Sonic 1? Or the Flicky's Ring in 3D Blast/Flickies Island? It's just a portable version of that. I like the spin on it, okay? I'm sure it also protects Sonic like in the SatAM cartoon. Im just glad Rings are in the movie at all.

Cons:

- Elephant in the room, Sonic's overall design philosophy. I feel like there were two butting heads at the studio trying to decide how realistic to make Sonic look. They apparently compromised at "Make him anthropomorphic and give him human facial features including human teeth." Yeah, the teeth and eyes are my issue, and some coloring issues as well (I get that hedgehogs usually have white bellies, but Sonic has always had a tan belly, since he doesnt walk on all fours. Plus he needs to be a darker shade of blue.) The features all too human just kind of take away from what was meant to be more real. If they gave him sharper canine teeth, that would be an improvement, because that would be more animalistic. Also, I like how some people design Movie Sonic with a white tuft of fur between his eyes to make that classic illusion that his eyes are connected like the old days. (Actually looking back, I think Sonic's eyes were connected on accident before but they stuck with the design. Sort of an artist's idea of eye design in the old days. If he was to be created today, his eyes might be separated) I also need something to really come out of Sonic with his face. EXPRESSIONS AND PERSONALITY! You know, that thing Sonic was known for aside from his speed? That face is not very expressive and it leaves the emotions behind the delivery of the lines feeling flat. Perhaps a more defined brow for that redo, thanks. Otherwise, I have no complaints. The lack of gloves is odd, but again, this is most likely an origin story, so he doesnt have the gloves YET. I am glad that he has proper paws with the pads on his palms instead of creepy human hands. Also claws that he probably cuts/files/chews off himself so they're more like fingernails. Solid enough I guess. And the furriness of it all as well as the dropping quills? Eh, it makes sense. Plus it almost makes the rest of his body seem cuddly. I'm just not down with the rest of it.

-The music choice. Okay, I never heard Gangsta's Paradise in my life. From what I hear it makes no sense to have it have anything to do with Sonic. Now, maybe it was the only cassette he could find, since that boombox looks secondhand and so is the tape, obviously. However, if I were to choose a song for the trailer? I have one option. All I Want by Offspring! Think about it. The dates line up. It's a fast paced rock song. It's rebellious and against the system, like Sonic is in the movie apparently (yeah I didnt get that whole "delinquent" bullshit from the trailer, did you? He just seems like Sonic to me in terms of his actions,) and it was used in a SEGA game! It's from Crazy Taxi! Come on, that's PERFECT!

- the Flash lightning. Seriously? Is that the only thing Hollywood can think of when it comes to showing someone is fast? Come on, get your heads out of your asses. It's so easy. Modern Sonic has been more compared to the element of WIND! Tornadoes, Mach Cones, Sonic Wind, all that stuff. Sonic never really messed with electricity, so bleh.

- This isn't a pro or a con, but I really wanna know this. Will we see the Tornado? Don't forget that the Tornado is Sonic's plane. He just has Tails fly it when he wants to ride the wings. I feel like they could have had Sonic use the Tornado in a cool air battle scene but get shot down (because the Tornado kinda sucks since it always gets shot down, but it's iconic to me) since Sonic isn't exactly "a hell of a pilot" and THEN finds the Warp Ring inside. I dunno, thought it'd be cool. Look, Tim just met a 3 foot, blue, talking hedgehog that runs really fast and eats chili dogs. (please remember the chili dogs) Hedgehogs on planes wouldn't be that farfetched that day, would it?

- Some writing just felt off, but some can be explained. Let's start with everyone's FAVORITE scene...to wreck. The infamous "Uhhh...meow?" Here's my take. Yes, stupid, but what if he had no idea what to do? What if Sonic was just in his head going "What sounds do hedgehogs make? What sounds do hedgehogs make? Quick, say something, stupid!" And when he said it, probably something in his head was screaming "Dont say something stupid, stupid!" Also, I just didn't laugh at the "Smells like body spray and an old ham sandwich" line. I was like, Sonic, shut up. The joke was sold. Don't ruin it.

- Why is it the law where every live action movie with a CGI talking animal (that they didn't know about before you bring up Detective Pikachu, Christopher Robin, or even Peter Rabbit) must have the main character and the CGI character scream at each other? Sonic wouldn't freak out (unless he was more afraid of the gun and was kind of unsure how to react. Also great job dodging the tranq dart, oh Fastest Thing Alive)more than likely he'd be trying to talk his way out of this or just run away with a face like 😐😳 "I'm SO busted!" Just saying there was a better way to do that aside from the cliche.

- Robotnik, why did you try to taste the quill? You dont know where he's been. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Cool and Lickable. Lol. Pretty sure typos shouldn't be legitimized.

- Quicksilver? Not in my series he ain't. Oh... wait. Yeah. The whole stopping time thing. Eh, it's been done. Cool all the same, but again, done before. I appreciate Sonic's spin on it though, playing around like a teenager would. I dig it.

-Save your planet? Like...as in you're just an alien? I dunno, plus how do you know you have to save the planet? I'm chalking THAT up to "this is a trailer and probably wont appear in the final movie the same way."

- Did they REALLY have to make him say "Gotta go fast"? Again, probably just for the trailer, but really?

In conclusion, I have no hope for the movie. Can't be disappointed if you dont expect anything. Sort of my take on his design at first. I thought he was gonna look like COMPLETE garbage, but some shots look great, like when he was explaining that he had to save the planet? The lighting and such looked good for his face when the camera was on him. And again, the movie looks much better in motion. Yeah, I still have issues, but that's because I love Sonic. I love the characters and I want the best for the series. I care about the games that have been with me since my near infancy. They have fan service but it feels like you gotta be a crazy fan like myself to get the references, so it's lackluster because of it.

Sonic deserves a great movie! I just hope they impress me with something HUGE!