#but imo we missed out on soooo much by not being along for the ride

[eerna]

This is it this is the Bogdana-Wren energy I wanted

[soundsof71]

for the album thing: born in the usa :)

I could write a book about any of Bruce’s records from Born To Run to Born In The USA. I did in fact write my grad school thesis using Nebraska as the hook: ”Vehicles of Grace: Automobile Imagery and Salvation in the works of Bruce Springsteen and Flannery O’Connor” LOL which is one million percent true. 

In fact, I bought Nebraska on my first day of class in grad school (a whole story by itself), and BITUSA came out as I was finishing my coursework two years later. It’s hard to overstate how hard this one hit, but my reaction was kind of complicated, so I’ll tell ya all about it.

the first song from this album I heard: “Dancing In The Dark”, which came out as a single before the album. Followed immediately by “Pink Cadillac”, its b-side. We played the SHIT out of that song in particular, far more than the A side, and were dumbfounded that it wasn’t on the album. 

do I own the album?: Obvs, but there’s a story. Of course. My girlfriend and I bought it on vinyl the day it came out in June (we weren’t married yet, but we’d merged our record collections the previous year LOL), then for my birthday in August, she bought me a CD player for like $800 (they were expensive as FUCK when they first came out -- and $800 was even more of a fuckton of money back in those days, especially for a couple of grad students), with one CD, Born In The USA. That one CD was more than reason enough to spend the dough on a player.

I still have that CD, along with the ticket for show where we saw Bruce on our honeymoon in England, at St. James Park in Newcastle, in June 1985. He’d just gotten married too (the first time), which is a whole ‘nother story too. Oh, and I still have the sweatshirt from that show! I'll post a picture of all this some time.

my favorite song: Wellll....here’s where it gets kinda complicated. Bruce had a notoriously hard time picking songs for the record. He’d recorded something like 50 songs for the album, and once he cut the list to 30 or so, he kept asking people he trusted to pick THEIR favorite running order. (Dave Marsh talked about this in his book Glory Days: Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s, and I haven’t heard it much discussed since then.) It’s hard to argue with the finished results, but you know what? I kinda do, still, all these years later. LOL 

My favorite song OF the album, no question, is “Shut Out The Light”. (Check my tag for this song to hear some more about it.) It was first released as the b-side to the 7 inch single of “Born In The USA” (remarkably, the third single from the record), and wouldn’t show up on CD until 1998 on the Tracks anthology. Tracks was 4 CDs in all (should probably have been 6 discs, and COULD have been 10), but I bought the whole thing for THIS.

My favorite song ON the album: “Downbound Train.”

my least favorite song: “Darlington County”. 

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: “Dancing In The Dark”. I’m not alone in this. Miami Steve famously HATED the song at first, and only came to appreciate it after years of playing it live. I still remember never more eagerly anticipating an album in my life, and never being more upset by the advance single. I was devastated.

Here’s why. Born to Run came out when I was 15. “Gotta get out while we’re young!” The romance of escape, with the last two songs, still grandly romantic, hinting at its costs. 

Darkness came out when I was 17. Narrator: “They did not escape.” LOL Ghosts, bitterness, compulsion, cursed by God. His estranged wife’s eyes “filed with hate for just being born”, while “Tonight I’ll be on that hill ‘cause I can’t stop.” 

The closest thing to hope: a whispered “Tonight my baby and me are gonna ride to the sea / and wash these sins from our hands.” I was a senior in high school and the dream was already dead. Awesome. LOL

The River came out when I was 20. The only hope is domesticity. Too bad that it’s suffocating and you’ll fuck it up. LOL Want to wash the sins from your hands? Sorry, the river is dry. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / Or is it something worse./ that sends me down to the river?” Yikes!

The shows for this album were astounding. The album was soooo much darker than it first appeared, and the catharsis in the performance was rewarding, sure, but almost unbearable. You were left broken and crawling by the end of the night. In a good way. LOL 

Nebraska came out when I was 22. Murder, mental illness, ghosts, more murder, compulsion, and as a treat, a little more murder. LOL 

The one song I couldn’t stand was “Reason To Believe”, because I didn’t believe there was one, and I didn’t believe he did either. But boy did I love the album as a whole. Like I said, my grad school thesis started here, because I had too much to say about Nebraska and the sweep of Bruce’s literary roots and spiritual impulses NOT to write about it. 

(Not shockingly in retrospect, and a blessing for us all that he went through with it and is still at it, but Bruce’s therapy started here too.)

So from 1975 to 1984, things got darker and darker and darker. It was beautiful. LOL And hey, this was MY LIFE we’re talking about, too! From 15 to 24, I was listening to Born To Run, Darkness, The River, and Nebraska practically on a loop, and the more hopeful stuff was becoming less and less resonant. 

Sure, there was Rosalita and Thunder Road and Badlands, plenty of dancing and pumping fists, but I was dwelling in darkness, and living for it. On my best days, I was wounded, not even dead LOL but I barely listened to Born to Run by the end of this span. It was mostly Darkness and Nebraska. 

I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming after the highest body count in recorded history on that album. LOL I knew it wouldn’t be acoustic again, but man, he was cutting closer and closer to the bone each time out. How much farther could he possibly go?

And it was....Dancing In The Dark? What the actual FUCK? Practically fucking disco or something? WHA....? I loved dance music, especially in the 80s, but I didn’t need it from Bruce. I had that from other people. Oh well, at least the b-side was cool, so maybe the album won’t bite. LOL BUT THEN PINK CADILLAC WASN’T ON THE ALBUM. FUCK.

The album didn't bite, of course, but it took a looooong time to get over this huge dual disappointment of a chirpy disco single by an artist I barely recognized, and whom I now felt I could no longer trust to manage his own creative mission.  

My wife wrapped her head around it first (as is usually the case LOL). She dug it as the closest Bruce had yet come to putting his actual self in a song. The narrator is a writer, anyway, unlike every other song he’d ever written about jobs he never held for a single second (an observation that would form the bedrock of Springsteen on Broadway 40 years later).  

Now, I totally dig it. If you’re naughty enough, I might even post my ukulele cover of Dancing In The Dark. LOL

a song I used to like, but now don’t: None. The songs I loved, which is most of ‘em honestly, I still do. Everything about this album has gotten better with time for me, and nothing about it has gotten less so.

my favorite lyric: 

From “Shut Out The Light”: Oh mama mama mama come quick I've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sick Throw your arms around me in the cold dark night Hey now mama don't shut out the light 

From “Downbound Train” The room was dark. Our bed was empty Then I heard that long whistle whine And I dropped to my knees, hung my head, and cried

Bruce was gonna try to give me a happier record, but I was having none of it. LOL 

For the record, “Downbound Train” is my wife’s favorite track on the record by FAR, at least partly because it sounds like a band version of a song that could have followed Nebraska. I prefer Shut Out The Light because I heard the story of my own mental illness in it for the first time, but yeah, Downbound Train is amazing.

I only saw it live once at the time (in Newcastle, June 4, ‘85), but it really comes to live onstage -- true for all of Bruce of course, but this album more than any other imo.

overall rating out of 10: Then: 8. Now: 9.2.  The shows were unbelievably good (we saw three shows in three different countries on that tour) and it sold a buttload, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that after the run of Darkness - The River - Nebraska, that this was a missed opportunity at best. 

Time and distance heals all LOL and I now love it. Not more than the four before it, but more than anything since. A masterpiece, by any standard.

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 10 | “Calm before the storm” - Amir

so jordan pines went home, and im at peace. he was acting in a way to actively be detrimental to my game, and he also was bringing this kind of toxic energy to the game that i'm very much glad to see go. i also have... never felt such fear as when jordan called me out of the blue yesterday KJHASDFJKLASLKJFAS also i kinda wanna write an apology to kendall here? i made this whole ramble at tribal about how we shouldn't make this game personal, but i've also talked about how i dont like her energy and this kind of stuff, and i just wanna apologise? i think i had mega-preconceptions of her and just because we dont always 100% click as people doesnt give me any excuse to be rude! im gonna do better, that's the mission. moving forwards, me and tj squashed our beef which is fun. apparently people think i leaked that lovelis was the vote to him which JKASDLFAS hello?! i sure did not. also i wonder who leaked to jordan that he was the vote? i kind of assume someone told tj, who told jordan? jake suggested devon which i could see. i think this round jake is going to want duncan gone, but i think i want augusto gone? i think amir is a beauty who i want around because we are winners and i also? really like amir on a personal level. and then kendall is sweet, and also i think less threatening, while i could see augusto being able to continue to wriggle through which is scary. anyway so: who i'd vote as a juror: autumn > jake > amir > devon > augusto > duncan > kendall > adam > tj ideal bootlist: augusto > duncan > tj > kendall > amir > autumn > f4: me/adam/devon/jake I LOVE Autumn with my entire soul by the way, but I also do think its becoming apparent that I... would be a complete clown to go to the end with her... but i also do not think i can vote her out, so i hope someone else does...anyway we will see hehe 

Jordan Pines really left… I’m gagged! A whole lot of buffoonery went down during the last few hours and I felt like I had to talk MULTIPLE people off a ledge when it came to flipping. Devon for whatever reason wanted to use his double vote and get out Duncan or TJ but imo, those are very easy votes and we need to save the double vote for something that packs a punch. Adam told me if we should join Jordan in his plan to vote Duncan (which Jordan never told me about so I didn’t want to make it anyway) but I told Adam that if Jordan stays, he’ll go on a revenge rampage and who would be able to stop him. Not only that, but I know Adam and Autumn are close so I told him that we need to build more allies/connections so keeping Jordan could alienate people from working with us like Autumn. Even with Kendall, she did not want to do it for most of the round but as sis had to put his foot DOWN with all these people because Jordan leaving really helps me. I feel I did good also at getting TJ to really trust me? I let him know that he could be receiving votes and that Jordan’s name was out there and we really connected on being scapegoated by the others that round which helped. It’s interesting xoxo

Amir and I were talking about being scared of making match ups for this immunity and then I was starting to think about the tribe dynamics and who might be working with who. Side 1: me, Amir, Kendall (Devon lowkey) Side 2: Autumn, Ali, Adam, Jakey (?) Loose ends: Duncan (tighter with Autumn and possibly Jakey), TJ (tighter with Devon, Kendall, and myself) Am I perfectly right? Probably not but that’s just what I’m observing tbh. I do feel good that my connections to certain individuals (Devon, Jakey, Autumn, TJ, Adam) might be pretty strong which is cute! What I see happening is that Duncan leaves this vote (which is what I really really want), Ali or Kendall next vote (Ali is THE move I want to make because he and I are playing similar and he scares me. It would only be done if me/Kendall/Amir/Devon + his extra vote make it happen. I can see Kendall leaving since there would be big Beauty numbers still in the game which I get. I don’t wanna see her leave because I adore her but in a way, maybe it’d be good for my game idk?), and after that Autumn leaving would be KEY. After that, it’d be me/Amir/Devon/Adam/TJ/Jakey I think? And I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest. I’m getting ahead of myself but I’m a Virgo Sun AND Rising, it’s what I do ghfjdksl

It’s like 1 AM and I’m bored but I’ve been in so many alliances for some reason ghfjdks OG Hathor: Bringing Sexy Back (me, Amir, Kendall, Connor), Leaning Tower of Penis that is also french (me, Amir, AJ, Connor, Kendall), Quadruple A Batteries (me, Amir, AJ, Adam), and The Soviet Oreo Cheesecakes (me, Kendall, Austin). NuThoth: Thots R Us (me, Amir, Kendall, Jakey, Scott), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), Sexy Procrastinators (me, Kendall, Amir, AJ), and Hehehehe (me, Amir, Kendall, Scott). Merge: dumb betches (me, Amir, Kendall), Beauty/Brain Sandwich (me, Amir, Devon), real riders (me, Amir, Devon, Autumn) Not to mention the one on one alliances I have too (me/Jakey, me/Devon, me/Amir, me/Kendall, me/Autumn [ish], me/Adam [ish], me/TJ [ish]) like I-

me after that entire round https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20 I had to take a day off Skype just to process but now that I'm back? Let me just say that was a masterpiece and some of my finest work. I really orchestrated Jordan Pines' demise from start to finish without getting a vote or an idol played a round BEFORE an all flash game round. I love that he said we've been planning this for a long time and I just wanna clarify. I ALWAYS wanted Jordan Pines out, I just never thought he would play into my hand that fucking early lmaaaaooo. The tea is I just wanted Jordan or TJ to be captain because they've been sitting on their asses all game and have never had to actually work to not be targeted or god forbid earn being in a good spot. Like the winners are awake, the POC's are awake, Devon's been to 50 tribals so he's awake, Jake almost died so he's awake, and Kendall knows she's on borrowed time so she's awake. Miss Jordan and TJ however? They're just along for the ride and I'm sorry if I'm not trying to carry anyone to Final 4 just so I get 4th. But no I had no idea that me organizing the captain thing would set it all off but here we are. These boys really thought y'all- they really thought they did something by choosing the bottom half of the list and hanging me and Duncan high and dry in the process wouldn't mean the end of that alliance. Oh OF COURSE it's the end and it gave me permission to now movely free about the cabin. That Jordan vote was airtight for 21 hours, got leaked, and still worked so know that I will be coming to collect my flowers when this is all over. AND it gets better because soooo many people told on themselves leading up to that vote. Between Duncan snatching immunity from Augusto after agreeing to vote Jordan and then pressuring Devon to vote Jordan in the final minute to Jordan going ballistic on the whole cast and people wanting him out just to have peace again, I have never been prouder of my gameplay lmao. I really turned on an alliance but got the allies to piss a bunch a people off in the process, which sealed the fate of Jordan, Duncan, and eventually TJ. I pushed one whole domino y'all and it done set the course of the ENTIRE merge I'm screaming God is really that good. Like all the men losing trust amongst each other?? Ugh it's glorious. Adam mad at Duncan for lying to his face and pretending that he never wanted Adam out. Amir mad at Duncan for never telling him about that alliance in the first place. Augusto mad at Duncan for snatching immunity all over Jordan just for it to get snatched from Jordan anyway. Jordan mad at Amir, Duncan, Ali, and the whole motley crew because "they were supposed to be friends." Devon and Jakey mad and want each other out because Jakey is onto Devon and they each want TJ to themselves. And I'm over here playing Veronica Mars trying to figure out who the rat is. WHEN I SAY I CANNOT MAKE ANY OF THIS UP But if there's one thing we can all agree on is that it's time for Duncan to go lmao I am getting NO votes in the end I love it. Literally name an ally I won't kill https://twitter.com/TheMemesArchive/status/1248726674440695809?s=20

heyo so... im having a kind of upsetting realisation right now, which is that i think i'm setting myself up for a path that ends in me being a losing finalist. autumn is legit the love of my life, but rn my game is too autumn-centric, and then my information is like a one way tunnel to jake. SO i need to turn my game around, because even tho i think i can get away with my lesser game presence so far as a winner, i cant keep coasting. i think at f9 i can ramp it up, i need to use f10 to set myself up. i think adam/devon are going to be crucial to my game and my differentiation from jake. i am gonna make moves that go against his agenda, because i know i can. i have idols to force through what i want to happen, so its time i get that done. goal bootlist: duncan > augusto > tj > kendall > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/jake/devon/adam and i boot out whoever is the biggest jury threat

BY JOVE I HAVE DONE IT I HAVE TURNED ALL MY FEELINGS INTO MEMES!!!!!!!!! PUT LEAST TRUST WORTHY PERSON IN THE GAME? MEME HAVING TO VOTE OUT MY OLDEST TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND? MEME SPILLING TO SAID TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND THEY WERE GOING? MEEMEEEEEEEE PUT IN A CHAT IN ORDER TO SAVE TUMBLR SURVIVOR FRIEND AND ACTIVELY CHOOSING NOT TO SAVE HIM? MEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PERSONAL ISSUES??? MEEMEEE THAT'S RIGHT NO LONGER DO I HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CRY OR SMILE OR CRY AGAIN IT IS ALL MEMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AJKDFADFJKSFADJKSKJDSDKSFMNVNVANFKKAVNNKVN MY SANITY IS GONE AND SO IS MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!! ALL HAIL OUR DEAD SAVIOR JORDAN PINES HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL This confessional was brought to you by Alcohol, Alcohol giving the support your family refuses to provide for you. 

Well well well....Going from 16th place on a unanimous vote to a guaranteed spot in the final 9 feels pretty nice. I've been able to leverage my double vote as a source of trust to others, and this could be the round in which I send out Duncan from this game. So ironic that he's the one on the bottom after all this time. I feel like I'm in a strong position in this game, but I'm playing with fire: - 2 person alliance between me/Kendall - 3 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto - 2 person alliance between me/Ali - 2 person alliance between me/Adam - 4 person alliance between me/Amir/Augusto/Autumn - 2 person alliance between me/TJ This basically leaves my options past this round to Jake or a blindside. 

oh unkie dunkie. oh unkie dunkie. everytime we play together you underestimate me, and for what. literally duncan is pulling a jordan and trying to pull in the beauties as like.. one round numbers... like did you not see with jordan that that does not work hello? the beauties have brains and can see you are just trying to pull them in for a single vote like make it make sense. so duncan is gone tonight and im at peace. and then moving forwards i want adam around for the LONG HAUL. we had a great talk today and he is so fun!! i feel bad because i lied about the idol but hopefully i'll play it in a mutually beneficial way. i think a good f3 would be me/adam/devon? so the plan is bootlist: kendall > augusto > tj > autumn (!!) > amir > f4: me/adam/devon/jake (i think?) but getting jake to vote tj will be hard. but having all three winners at f6 would be PERF for me.

ok hello confessional time, ive been trying to cut back to like 1 confessional a round to make sure i dont just ramble on and on and keep the tea as organized as possible because things switch like a dime in this game, so to start, i think last thing i mentioned was how jordan was probably going home, even though i had told him to start a campaign against duncan, which he did and then i ended up not going with it hsfkdj love my mind, the bipolar TRULY jumped out.... however hehe now that jordan is gone, and since a lot of people already wanted duncan out, that could very well be the move this round. Devon is immune which is good for him, decent for me, i did NOT want immunity this round because i had it last time and 2 in a row wouldve put a target on my back considering i still have the challenge advantage from the auction and at this point everyone knows about it, so i made a really big risk throwing this immunity because of that and also because of how the challenge was set up, where if you won a round, you have to single out 2 people to be next, which would put an unnessecary target on my back and i still am trying to recover from my dumb lie, so it's about picking and choosing your battles, and after last round where someone went home solely based on shady immunity choices, i want no part in that! I'm also ABSOLUTELY trying to get my foot in everyone's kitchens serving you rachel ray teas, so that would expose who i do and dont really trust (which is pretty much no one ahkdsf), but devon winning is ok because i think he's with me (but idk i wanna trust him/autumn but im also well aware they're both kinda running around trying to play everyone a bit, so ill keep that in mind for future rounds) and now i just have to hope im not the target this vote, but i dont think i am unless people are even better than me at being fake the only person who picked on me in the challenge was amir which he asked me beforehand and i didnt wanna win so i gave him my permission, and now that it's almost vote time, things have got a little hectic, apparently duncan is trying to go around and tell people to split the vote between the 3 beautys besides me.....BUT THEN HE'S GOING TO THE 3 BEAUTYS PROPOSING TO THEM TO VOTE WITH THEM TO TAKE OUT ME OR ALI?? Duncan, strike 1 was throwing my name out 2 rounds ago, strike 2 was lying right to my face when i asked you about it, and now this mutiny you're trying to lead is strike 3. luckily for me i stopped being petty with the beautys and we're all kinda good again at least to me, so im hoping theyre not playing me since they spilled the tea to me all individually and duncan will be the only one blindsided tonight :) (love you as a person asdfh but game wise, get outta town!) also had some calls today, apparently people are starting to see me/ali as a duo....which while i do genuinely like ali as a person and i do trust him a little more than others, that could mean trouble for me down the line so ive gotta start causing doubt with people about that somehow, also me and jake spoke for the first time on call in years and...... i wanna be able to say that went good like i was making some jokes and laughs here and there and he mentioned he was making progress on the merge idol to me which kinda caught me off guard but he says he doesnt have it so we'll see.... also he seemed a little reserved, so im either a nutjob and being paranoid for no reason, or he's still got a grudge against me and ill have to deal with that at some point. But now is not that time yet, he did confirm to me devon has told other people about his extra vote which is funny because he told me it was just me who knew and has always been saying like "our extra vote" implying it's me and him 100% in it so consider yourself CLOCKEDT on that fib sir, unless youre lying to others and telling me the truth then carry on afshdkj also everyone is kinda figuring out how autumn is in good with everyone, and while i do want to trust her, it makes me nervous how close she is to jake because if those two together come for me..... i could be oop'ing my way right to the jury ... autumn is just giving me like kim one world vibes and im not trying to be her sabrina thompson even if i can trust her. I will have to make a move against her too eventually, hopefully im just around long enough for that to happen but anywho.... hopefully duncan goes tonight, im hearing he's just been saying me to people so i play my idol WHICH AGAIN I DONT HAVE. IS THIS HOW ELIZA FELT BECAUSE I SWEAR ITS JUST A FUCKING STICK IS WHAT I HAVE AT THIS POINT ....and if anyone but duncan goes ill most likely be soon to follow

Alright, so Damage Control TJ has been doing some work. Has it been perfect? Not even close. However, I think I've made some ground. So I started by having an open conversation with Duncan/Autumn in our chat with Jordan (I already miss you being here) and then with Ali who I think all had their suspicions of me after that last tribal. Can't blame them, but I used that time to hopefully get the target away from this next round and at least get a little footing. Then, last night I had calls with Devon, Augusto, and Kendall. They all agreed that the two biggest threats in this game are Ali and Autumn, which I'm so glad people understand this. So I think I've done a decent amount to connect with those two moreso than I had before (Devon and I were always close). And then I talked to Amir today, we talked for over an hour, and I genuinely cannot believe how much on the same page that we are on. Maybe I'm just being very optimistic about the convo, but I think I have another avenue that I could easily pursue at this rate. He basically made it known that he is close to Augusto and not as much Kendall (the exact quote was "I'm being put into a trio with the other two, but I'm not close to Kendall"... so like... yeah...), but even better he suggested a group of four between me, Devon, him, and Augusto which I think makes a lot of sense. It doesn't include my closest ally of Jakey, which probably is good because it gives me a couple roads to pursue, and it allows me to go after the two people who need to go in this game between Ali and Autumn (or else they would easily be two time champs). Yes, I know Amir is a champ too, and I will do something about that a little later, but for now I think this might be a good move to work with. So after this Duncan vote, I think I can make a move against Ali/Autumn (probably Ali by the sounds of it) and have some numbers that I don't become a target. But the question lies in where these idols are and how they will affect the next round or two.

duncan is so funny thinking he is gonna pull off this 4-3-3 blindside to send me packing... like it doesn't make sense or add up KJLSADFDAS. i'm kinda getting a rush and also getting votes is very good news for me because i was one of two who hadn't got votes yet hehe.

well.. provided i live through this 4-3-3 vote i should be set to make f9!! i just want to say how much of a king amir is, i had so many preconceptions of him and im so glad i could work through them. i think i want to go to f5 with amir/adam/devon/jake... they are five people who have been straight up with me and who i feel good about having in the endgame. autumn is the literal love of my life, but from talking to adam today, its clear autumn in the endgame is like kim spradlin. legit every single person trusts her and i'd be a clown to have her at the end even tho it breaks my heart. i would like to see duncan, kendall and tj as next three boots for sure. duncan is legit trying to blindside me so he needs to go ASAP jsakdfa. next up kendall, i kinda want a beauty gone so that their group is less threatening, because if i want someone like amir in endgame, i need one of the others gone. then tj because he is a loose end to me, plus he is gonna be a jury threat i just FEEL IT in my bones. but this all relies on me getting through this vote and who knows if that is gonna happen KJSDAF

If I go tonight! It’s been fun everyone! Thanks to the hosts for having me!

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Okay quick early round confessional, I kinda am like mind jumbled right now. Ali - Autumn - Jakey Ali - Autumn - Adam Tj - Devon Me - Kendall - Augusto - (Devon??) Me - Augusto - Devon Duncan - (on his own) Everyone wants duncan out, and like even I can’t trust him. He still is being fake to my face about most game facts and alliance, but he’s someone that would go after Ali, so I don’t want him to go, but it might be better to stay the course. I love him but this is what has 2 happen and It’s another round when me kendall and Augusto survive when we weren’t even suppose to survive one. Then Kendall is still a meat shield because she will get targeted first, but I want her to stay as long as I can keep her and I’m lucky I even got to keep her this far. If duncan and Kendall are the next to go, which like I hope it’s not but this may be what happens, then at the 8 me Augusto devon, his double vote and I more person can pull a move on Ali. It’s just going to depend who people are more scared of, me or Ali

Ali is literally Going to win this game 2 idols, an idol block, adam’s loyalty, autumn’s loyalty, jakey’s loyalty, secretly a comp beast, British accent, hes so likable He has all the tools of a winner And he downplays it so hard 

I am trying so damn hard to stay alert in this game But honestly I keep feeling like Ali or autumn will strike I don’t think it’ll be this round But next round, I think I’m going to try and make a move It’s time Me Augusto devon tj and double vote or me Augusto devon kendall double vote Don’t know if I can’t trust devon and tj Well we need devon’s double vote And I need jakey to be okay with it cuz if he tips Ali off, I’m gonna go it’s risky af But like we can’t just keep letting him win so Gotta make a move I’m thinking about if it’s better to let kendall go first To help Jakey devon and tj to feel better about it and ease them into it Because Augusto can work tj, we can both work devon, and I can secretly work jakey but jakey is a control freak and might tell Ali to play the idol but I’m gonna trust him This game a is a personal prison I am in mental torment If Augusto and I do this Ali plan for the next round after duncan goes this round And it leaks, it’s over for me But people were gonna come for me anyway So we should try this round is the calm before the storm cuz everyone is doing duncan Next round W A A A A A R 

I just tried so fucking hard To get jakey on board with blindsiding Ali next round If he tells Ali to play an idol, well! Good luck Charlie (I’m Charlie) He is talking about getting everyone in the game to split the vote on me and Kendall, and then me kendal him and Augusto will vote Ali or adam. So I agreed, and went and ratted him out to adam autumn and Ali, cuz I knew they weren’t gonna agree with Duncan’s plan so it was not actually applicable, so I have no choice but keep the course, and now Ali and autumn and adam trust me more, Duncan is gonna be mad, but he played himself into a corner. He lied to me about his alliance, and has always had different motives since he asked to work with me at the start, rip king, I feel so bad cuz he’s actually a really really cool person, but he’s about to get a rude game awakening