#but im underqualified to put that in words

[transmandrake]

Tangentially adding to this, and it sounds obvious but you dont have to say youre trans btw. If you feel like a girl or that you wanna be a girl you can just be a girl. You dont have to be a trans woman, you can just be a woman. You dont have to be trans. If all 'being trans' has done for you is make people scrutinise you and assume things about you that are wrong, you can just not be trans.

Literally the only factor in being something is being something. You can be a man and not look like a man. 'Looking like a man' is a separate state of being to 'being a man'. Its also separate to 'being trans'. You can look like a man, be a woman, and not be trans. You can look like a man, be a man, and be trans.

Youre a girl with a dick? You dont have to be a trans woman. You can just be a woman. The 'mismatch' has nothing to do with your identity, you dont have to qualify your identity with how you got there or an 'explanation' for why you dont 'fit'. You can just be.

Being trans isnt about going from one thing to another. At least, it doesnt have to be. If you feel like youre a man then you are man, and if you feel you were always a man, you dont have to say you transitioned to anything, because you didnt.

This is all important because I think a lot of trans people, dont want to be trans, theres just a dissonance between who they are and what they and others see them as. This is part of the trans experience yes, but its not part of who you are, if you dont want it to be.

Ultimately I dont really care what I am gender wise, but I am trans, because the dissonance is the most important thing to me. I have no intention of getting rid of it. I feel I'm trans because the body I was given feels unwelcoming, and I am transitioning to something that suits me better, regardless of whether it 'matches' or not.

There are other people who wish that things matched up, they do not want the dissonance. They can be trans, because they have felt this dissonance, even if it goes away. They can also not be trans because they feel that dissonance is not part of their being, even if it is their experience.

This difference is the source of a lot of confusion and hurt and infighting especially in the trans community I feel. There is little consideration for whether someone *wants* to be trans.

Lots of people dont want to be / arent trans men or trans women, they just want to be / are men and women. The fact that transitioning is the way to this goal for some of these people is an obstacle, not an identity.

This isnt like 'these people arent REALLY trans!!!1' but actually the opposite. I think people in this situation are being fucked over in general, just as much as I am by these aggressive affirmations specifically.

Theres this almost, transphobic implication that if youre born, say, amab, but youre a woman, that you are trans. That theres an asterisk, an addendum to your womanness, to distinguish you from a real on-brand woman. If you cant make your own, store-bought is fine. That there is a difference between a woman born 'female' and a woman born 'male'. This implication is harmful to trans people and anyone who does not fit the binary (it implies theres a male and female form of being nonbinary. The irony.) and anyone intersex (Only perisex women can be women unnasterisked by this implication too.)

Youve seen this right? The hypocrisy? The unspoken idea that women are afab, trans women are amab? That 'amab woman' = 'trans woman'? Somehow youre still a woman, but youre not The Real Deal? I Cant Believe Its Not Man?

I dont know how to wrap this up. I dont know a solution to this that doesnt divide us into Real Trans People and People Who Transitioned. Even if I said we make a new identity for people who dont want to be trans, then they will become dont-want-to-be-trans people and not just people. That there must be a way to distinguish you from the default.

At some point in your life you learned about gender, and at some point you learned about being trans, and applied it as a sticky note on that learned idea of gender, instead of redefining it. Some people are that sticky note, but some just, are.

Scalding hot take I've been ruminating on but I think we need to retire the phrase 'Trans X are trans X' (ie. Trans men are men, trans women are women) and 'trans X are not Y' (ie trans men are not women, trans women are not men)

Not because its wrong per se, but because 90% of the time people say it and actually mean 'trans X are exactly the same as cis X'

And what happens is, even trans people, (id argue especially trans people) consciously or not, internalise that everything that is believed about cis people, is true for trans people.

This leads to absolutely batshit takes like 'its okay to hate trans men because men are our oppressors' (thats just transphobia) and 'trans women are sensitive and delicate and need protecting because they are women' (actually they need protecting because theyre being fucking murdered, not because theyre magical soft sweet little babies (like you think women are. Thats just sexism, even if you mean it positively). This ones often covert because, unfortunately sometimes sexism is gender validating)

Its also a *hand wiggles* phrase because I think a lot of people are so afraid of seeming transphobic that theyve kind of backpedalled into becoming really transphobic by denying the existence of anyone who is both a man and a woman and trans (and any and all combinations you can think of).

I think also this phrase is partially why a lot of people seem to think all trans people want to pass, will pass, and have a completely binary identity. The mere suggestion that a trans man can be a woman or a trans woman can be a man is seen as transphobic, when thats probably how the cookie crumbles for most people with multiple genders that include the binary ones.

(I was really glad to see more awareness and acceptance of multigender stuff in the last while but everyone gets funny about it every time trans stuff comes up... these do not have to be conflicting issues...)

How to help this? I'm not sure. I feel like some kind of indicator whether a trans person identifies as something, versus wants to be something (Im not sure how to explain this distinction. I guess its about whether your gender is more about being TRANSgender or being transGENDER. Yknow?) could be helpful, but well thats just more divisions and distinctions for people to put their burdens on.

Ultimately some women are men and some trans men arent men and some binary people are nonbinary too, because its all made up and simultaneously real. Without acknowledging this, we're just making Sexism 2.0 Trans-Affirming This Time instead of going 'hey, sexism fucking sucks, we shouldn't do that to anyone, cis or trans'.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Keep requesting from different people with no luck but what if jason voorhees had a S/O who reads to him when he's "sleeping" in the lake and he has dreams about the story and has a dream of him and the reader as beauty and the beast?

Reading B&B to Jason + Dream stuff!

while this isnt a slasher blog and i am grossly underqualified to speak of anything book related to beauty and the beast, i truly do love this idea + i really felt the whole request thing </3 this aint perfect but i hope you enjoy it regardless! may your other/future requests be answered someday! !!!quick note, admins only exposure to beauty and the beast is the original disney film, they have never read any renditions of it so theyre going off the basic bare bones concept not proof read, i am literally belting this out before i gotta bake an order </3

I could be silly, i could make him dream of himself as the beauty as opposed to being the beast, but im not 100% sure how i would go about writing that.... perhaps ill save that for the next time my slasher brainrot strikes me

i think he would love that you read for him, small little act that helps heal that inner child inside him + it reminds him of how his mom used to read to him at night. its almost bittersweet... im torn on whether or not pam would've read him beauty and the beast/similar adjacent tales. I admit, I'm not sure how many renditions of the story there are, and which ones were around when Jason was a kid but lets say, for convivence lets say she didnt

whenever you read to him hes hooked on every word you say, head in your lap and looking up at you with this sort of sparkle in his eye. loves it when you put on goofy voices for different characters. generally a very calm and peaceful moment between the two of you

so imagine offering to read the story to him, and he is just. totally immersed. even before he falls asleep he sees the parallels between the book and you, bonus if you somehow find a way to show him the disney movie of it

as for the dreams, naturally he's in the beasts position. solitary and secluded away from others, and self admittedly from the man himself, a sight for sore eyes (no matter how much some may disagree), and you as the beauty (not that much changes in the dream, he already sees you as something radiant)

the first time he has the dream he doesnt really say anything about it, actually he doesnt remember most of the dream thanks to him nearly forgetting everything that second he wakes up

but the dream keeps happening, even long after you first read the story to him, and each night he seems to be able to piece everything together

you wander into his home, and he keeps you. protects you, actually. the events of your arrival in the dream are blurred, but seem to line up with how you first entered his life.

theres no talking furniture, unfortunately

however i do wanna say theres talking animals in their place

nature boy

actually, jason doesnt seem to be a prince in his dreams, just a simple man

hes not even a physical monster in his dreams.

but unlike the disney adaptation, when the whole... breaking the curse thing happens, there is no transformation. so hey, theres that at least

he eventually talks to you about it, sheepishly signing the details to you as he tries to not seem embarrassed about it. but he cant help but to get giddy when he sees your smile

"aww you dream about me?" is a comment sure to make his signing pause for a second before he covers his hands over his mask

i wish i had more for this but im on a bit of a time crunch atm and as stated in the authors note my only exposure is the disney film and SOBS

you (making sure hes okay with the nickname first, obviously) playfully call him beast, and he starts calling you beauty

the story eventually kind of becomes you guys' thing, like how some couples have their song or their movie or their whatever

[prettyboykatsuki]

ari other than obviously trusting & communicating with your partner do you have any nuggets of info to look out for or thoughts specifically wrt subspace and/or aftercare in bdsm—receiving or giving?

no pressure. im doing my actual due dilligence research its just some of these sites n sources sound hella clinical and robotic and ur an actual living breathing approachable sex-positive person in comparison so i thought to ask.

hello!! i want to start by saying im deeply underqualified for such an ask. i do play and have some experience but it is minimal imo given the fact i have 1. a long term partner and 2. have had like 3-4 subs in my life to play w otherwise + im very young. im not a professional so take my words as anecdotal / personal

but on an individual level im told im a good partner so here my person to person advice / things i do for aftercare to check in on people im having sex with

the cop-out answer is that every person is different and learning to gauge your partners needs is a matter of practice and patience. not everyone needs the same thing and that's alright. it's also something u should talk about before a scene!!!

this is a given but worth mentioning but the first step is always stopping any stimulation. turning off toys, untying your partner, taking out gags - things of that nature. changing the sensation slowly is important imo. after that check on any injury and see what level of care it needs. attend to these physical, immediate needs first.

now that that is taken care of this is my more personal thing

for me usually, there's a ten minute period of me simply talking my partner down from subspace. sometimes that's praise, sometimes it's idle talk and that depends on the person. but slowly letting someone down, assuring them that they're okay and you're with them. it's more about grounding really? the intensity of a scene can be jarring even it doesn't seem that way so for me this is like... a requirement. this includes some physical touch depending on who im with!! but i usually save that for the end. like post shower and shit

sensation check-ins come after. im a sadomasochist so in a lot of cases there is a fair amount of pain involved. i like to sit my partner down on the bed and sort of run my clean hands on an injury. i don't ask for pain scale on one to ten. i prefer to ask if they still feel mobile, if the pressure i put on the area is dull or sharp, how numb they are etc. this is smth you get better at slowly and u adjust to accordingly. if there's any injuries, i take note of them and care for them in the shower

basic hydration and sustenance. this one is important to me personally for a lot of reasons but you'll see it basically in every single bdsm aftercare advice things. normally i help my partner get down a bottle of gatorade and give them a protein bar. if someone is my established partner i basically always cook for them after we have like. sex sex djksdk but you don't always have to do all that lol. just make sure those basic needs are met for BOTH OF YOU!!!!! something light is fine just no empty stomachs it will lowk make u loopy and irritable

showering / cleaning up together!! wiping them down a warm towel, getting in the shower together stuff like that. i like having a little fun skincare routine if it was a super intense scene. but i think the act of helping your partner w that is always really nice and helps establish intimacy. i normally tend to wounds and such here.

as the domme aftercare for me is usually a lot of physical touch and being told my partner enjoyed what i did to them. it's also necessary for me to be able to dote on them in some way. it's hard to explain but being able to service my partner in an intimate nonsexual way is suuuuper necessary so i don't drop. i also love to be kissed.... some soft making out yk

it seems counterintuitive but it makes me a little anxious to not be able to do those things. helping w basic care and things like that are really important to me and someone letting me do that for me is also very important to me. i also like being able to stim afterwards w a chewy and zone out while my partners hangs out in my arms and we have like parallel play time.

i have different routines w every person ive ever been with but these are some of the more basic universals. again everyone is different. how intensive aftercare depends on how intensive a scene but i normally hit these four every time, just more or less in depth depending. i hope this helps you in some way!!!