#but im too broke to hire an editor
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a trailer i did earlier this year bc im still proud of it ✌
#animation#trailer#it had voices instead of the subs but they were so bad they were pissing me off#so i put subs instead :") for the bad parts lol#i need to practice my lip sync <3#oh i also need to edit the book bc i skimmed the other day and found a bunch of typos and grammar errors whoops#but im too broke to hire an editor#im just a girl 🎀#artists on tumblr#animators on tumblr
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why the FUCK do videos take so long to edit
#alex has way too much time on her hands#pls is this why people hire editors#ill work as an editor#however im broke as fuck#and a good amount unhireable due to my status of not even being able to drive rn#and parents
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Hey is that [CAMILA MENDES]? No, that’s just [MONICA DELLA VEGA]. They’re [TWENTY-ONE], and have spent [ONE YEAR] in Dayton. I hear that they’re kind of [CHARISMATIC], but also [MANIPULATIVE]. Did you hear their vices are [CIGARETTES & SEX]? Cant wait to see [SHE/HER] at the next party!
hello there friends! my name is paige and this is my smol child monica. shes a gem, truly. super excited to be here bc wow i love this concept?? anyway enough of that, here’s what yall need to know about monica ~
monica rosalinda della vega is the product of the american dream
her father, marco, moved to los angeles from brazil when he was seventeen with the dream of going to college. for years he worked his butt off and eventually saved up enough money to attend college, where he studied political science and pre law
from there, he got a full ride to law school and that was where he met his wife, anna, who was working on her doctorate the two fell in love and got married after marco passed the bar.
they moved to a small apartment in LA while marco worked his way up in his law firm and anna began her writing
anna was older when they had their first and only son, scott, who is eight years older than monica
after having scott, anna was told she couldn’t have more children, and the couple kind of accepted that and moved on with their lives (they knew anna was older and so like it made sense)
but
then she became pregnant with monica
the couple debated for a long time but anna decided she wanted to carry monica and give birth and all that jazz
which tbh wasn’t the best idea
she went into labor 4 weeks early and actually died while giving birth to monica, so she never knew her mother which is #sad
anna’s death kind of wrecked marco tbh?? like that was the love of his LIFE man and he honestly didnt know what to do without her
in true hamilton fashion, a few weeks after monica was born, the della vega’s moved up town (and by uptown i mean to calabasas bc her dad got a big promotion and they could afford it)
from there life was different in the della vega house. marco was around less, and he actually hired help to raise scott and monica (something he said he’d never do, no matter how much money he made)
there was also a bit of a constant revolving door of women in and out of their lives tbh?? which always effected monica more than scott
monica was always looking for a motherly figure and would get attached and then theyd disappear bc things would end with marco
this really kinda of broke monica, especially after cecila. she and marco dated for most of monica’s middle school years and they almsot got married. monica saw her as a mother figure but something happened ahd cecilia moved out and hasnt spoken to them since
other than the constant family tension at home, monica lived a pretty nice life?
high school was good
monica came in determined not to be “scott della vega’s little sister”
she made a name for herself, was head cheerleader and student body president and yearbook editor and on prom committee
she graduated top of her class and was headed to yale
she decided to study journalism and excelled
the day of her graduation, marco and scott didnt show up, and monica was confused and heartbroken
it was only after that her brother called and informed her that their father had been found dead that morning due to too much alcohol, and that was why he wasn’t there
monica truly didnt know what to do with herself after that
she withdrew from graduate school, packed up her things and decided to head to dayton
she had a friend from childhood that was living in dayton, and when she broke the news they had suggested she come and unwind and figure her life out
2 years later, she still remains
monica works for the local paper as a writer and editor, but she eventually wants more iwth her life?? like shes living off the money her dad left her, which is a lot, but she hates that
personality
I pool inspiration from Elle woods, Brooke Davis, mean girls broadway regina George, heather chandler and Jane Villanueva
she’s one of those girls that just doesn’t care, she’ll do whatever it takes to advance herself and will deserve it too. she’s a hard worker and a smart cookie
people would call her a bitch, but its her honesty. she doesn’t care about you or your feelings, especially when it comes to honesty and uncovering the truth and all of those fun things
but she’s also a lot of fun. she’s a person that people want to be around, someone that pulls people in and make people want to love her and be her friend and marry her?? like its weird, bc she can be really mean and manipulative to et what she wants but people still want to be in her presence
mon also lowkey thrives off of chaos like she enjoys it almost?? her family was always chaotic and its something she almost needs in order to survive
monica is also a bit dark and twisty tbh??
she has pretty bad anxiety and like because of all the shit with her mom and now her dads shit shes actually a bit insecure, especially in relationships
plots
WOW IM THE WORST AT THIS PART
im always open to brainstorm
like i said, she came to dayton because of a childhood friend so maybe that??
roommates!! maybe 2 or 3 people she lives with, could be friends or not
maybe an ex? monica’s lived here 2 years so she was bound to date someone at least at some point
also, hook ups (one of her vices is sex so ??)
maybe the roger to her mimi (if you know rent)?? like the unexpected guy that kind of comes into her life, and she expects it to be like the rest, but its fully not?? thats fun
i also have a wc tag right here so check that out
so yah that’s it!! like this and we can plot : )
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Hgshflkl. I went to screen cap this prestigious moment of hitting (over!!!) 20,000 followers but then the activity feed broke so hard the graph vanished and I’ve just been sitting here laughing so hard I’m wheezing. This is it, this is peak tumblr experience. WELCOME TO THE VOID
Hi, I’m the vampire editor person who just wants to rest. If you’re here for more Death smut, food history discourse, general vampire shitposting and unconditional love for Carrie Fisher then boy are you in the right place. Clickable links are in bold for ease of navigation. Recommended listening for this post: https://youtu.be/zzg4yACP4nE
*** IF YOU’RE HERE TO ASK ME HOW I BECAME AN EDITOR OR ARE INTERESTED IN HIRING ME AS ONE, PLEASE TAKE A LOOK AT MY FAQ ***
Thank you <3
Due to tumblr tricking me into becoming a professional writer I’m currently working on about a million and one writing projects. Most of them vampire related for some bizarre unknown reason.
The most well known is likely Hunger Pangs which is available for pre-order via my Patreon, and in a mere matter of weeks, on Amazon too. Cause that’s right, I took that shit post and turned it into a queer-polyamorous-paranormal-satirical-romance novel featuring vampires, werewolves and punching undead fascists (It wasn’t intended to be politically relevant but here we are).
A fairly concise summary of it can be found here and excerpts can be found by searching for the tag #the vampire werewolf thing, which is the unofficial tagline for Hunger Pangs or #Phangs as some people have started to tag it. By request there is going to be two versions of the book, one which contains sexual content, and one which does not for those who are not interested in smut and like a little more fluff with their fangs.
Along with Phangs I’m also working on a gritty Scottish romancenovella (extract) based on a pun; a pun based bakery romance(extract), a pun based werewolf Scottish romance (have you noticed a theme yet), and a modern day romantic comedy concerning Scotsmen with questionable morals. Which also has an excerpt on my Ao3. Oh and also a vampire wedding planner romcom because apparently I have lost complete control of my life.
All of my work is tagged appropriately, with anything that is 18+ being placed under a cut and tagged as #NSFW or #NSFW Text for ease of blacklisting if you would like avoid it. If you are under the age of 18, I do ask that you respect my boundaries and refrain from interacting with anything on my blog that is labelled 18+. I try very hard to keep my blog as safe for everyone as I can. No mean feat when you’re known across the Internet as “the crucifix vampire nipple lady” :P
All of my work that I intend to publish professionally will also be available smut free in plain romance/fluff versions if that is a thing you are interested in. If you need me to tag something for trigger purposes, no matter how silly you think I might think it is, please let me know, I will be more than happy to do so.
If you’re completely new here you might notice some people calling me “mom” or other variations therein of familial relation. It’s perfectly okay to greet me as such if you wish to, but it is by no means an obligatory title and not something I gave to myself. Tumblr decided to adopt me sometime last year after I did some helpful life advice posts and I’ve been doing my best to be worthy of the honorific ever since. You can also just call me Joy, cause that is my name :)
Please have patience if you are sending me asks or IMs. I am but a humble smut peddler, peddling my weres, and have some pretty profound chronic health problems ranging from autoimmune issues to nerve damage which make keeping up with a high traffic blog as well as my work schedule rather difficult. So I’m sorry if you ever send me something and I don’t see it. I’m trying.
If you get tired of seeing my health posts, you may wish to blacklist the following tags: #chronic health tag & #chronic health tag: teeth, that way I can bitch and moan into the void and you don’t have to put up with me if you don’t want to.
Also sometimes we stream things in my chatroom, the link to which you can find in my navigational bar, and are welcome to check out at any time though we are currently on hiatus. There is also a discord chat set up by my friends and followers, where people often hang out just to chat. The link to this can also be found via my chatroom.
Oh and you can now follow me on Twitter if that is a thing you are interested in. I also have a PO Box listed in my FAQ for if and when anyone would like to send me something random like a book they’d like to see me review, or even the occasional Death fucking skeleton statue too. No I’m not kidding.
All of these things aside, welcome, I hope you’re having a good appropriate time zone, and whatever made you click on me was worth it. Take care of yourselves and each other, and I’ll see you in the comments <3
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IronMan Canada 1998
IMC '98 meant a lot to me because it paved the way for some major changes in my life which I really needed to make. There are probably to many tri-related details and too many extraneous issues in this and the subsequent post that I will send out. I apologise in advance if you dislike rambling stories, but the IMC experience was much more than 14 hours 10 minutes and 48 seconds of swimming, biking and running (walking). It was over a year of contemplation and training, and it was 10 years of racing narrowed down into one event.
That said, please enjoy.
I think that my story starts out about 5 years ago. I was putting myself through my final years of college and money was just a little tight. I made a conscious choice to stop racing triathlons for a while to reduce my expenses. I graduated and landed a great job with excellent potential for advancement. Since I was pushing hard in my career tri's were still regulated to the backseat. 2 1/2 years passed in that job and I was experiencing severe burnout. I had focused all of my intensity on my work, and work was not as exciting as it had been when I was fresh out of college.
Labor Day (U.S.) 1997. One of my best friends got married in Philadelphia - which is an incredible town. At an after party I was talking with a couple of people - an associate editor of Triathlete magazine and a guy who occasionally does a few tri's. The tri-geek was trying to get the Triathlete editor to give him a slot for Kona. He would have been better off trying to score a date with her - there was no way that she was going to conjure up a Kona slot. She suggested IMC as a place to qualify.
The wheels in my head started to turn - "I need a challenge" "I have wanted to get back into tri's for several years" "I need a really big challenge to get me out of my workaholic rut" "Maybe I should try IMC"
Back at work I downloaded the IMC '98 application and contemplated the commitment to training for an IM. My wife was 100% behind me signing up for IMC. When we started dating I was racing tri's in Southern California, and she knows how much I enjoyed the scene. I bit the bullet and mailed in my application. I even started training - somewhat. Four plus years of inactivity had taken their toll. I had purchased a new Kestrel KM40 in the fall of 1996, but I only had ridden it for about 100 miles in the year since I bought it. It was pretty embarrassing to be out riding my shiny, new Kestrel as I was getting passed by everyone on the road.
I soon subscribed to Tri-DRS and saw all the traffic about IMC filling up in record time. I wondered, I worried, I fretted, and then the confirmation letter came. It was true - I was going to Canada in 9 months.
To say the least - I was really scared. I was out of shape. I had never done an Ironman. I used to train for Oly distance races using a "feeling" plan - "How do I feel today and what do I want to do?" I knew that I could not train for an Ironman on such an ad hoc training plan.
I wrote down my goals for IMC '98. A
1. Finish my first Ironman. 2. Have fun.
After the race I would: 1. Smile. 2. Hug my wife. 3. Be happy that I went from couch potato to Ironman in 10 months!!!!
I needed some help in training, so I talked with my college teammate and now QR pro Greg Thompson. Greg suggested that I contact Lauren Alexander for coaching advice. The best thing that I did in the months prior to IMC was hire Lauren as my coach. She is a major asset.
The months flew by, I had a hideous race at Wildflower, I DNF'd at San Jose due to a mechanical, I finally had a great race at a local sprint tri and I did pretty well at the 1/2 Vineman. The 1/2 Vineman taught me that I could overcome problems during a race and still continue on to a good finish. I sent out numerous emails to both the Tri-DRS and the IMC lists asking all kinds of stupid questions. Luckily there are a lot of great people on the list who answered my questions and gave me some great guidance. Unbelievably - Taper Time for IMC arrived - my first IM was only 3 weeks away.
During all of this IM training, life continued to march forward. My wife continued her studies and supported my training endeavors. My job structure changed again, and again, and again, and finally I found a new job that started two weeks before IMC - of course I negotiated a one week break for IMC into my offer. As always there was a multitude of issues to deal with that really got in the way with training. As time marched on I forgot about my initial race goals - I started thinking about racing IMC as opposed to surviving it, and that was a big mistake. My initial goals were what I should have focused on, but I wasted a lot time worrying about split times, average speed and run paces.
Tuesday Afternoon,
Flew from San Francisco to Vancouver. A hometown friend drove to Penticton, so I stashed my bike in his mini-van for the trip. I did not have to worry about packing a bike box, or whether my bike would arrive in Penticton on my flight.
While waiting for the puddle jumper from Vancouver to Penticton, some guy sat next to me and asked me if I was doing the race. I am not sure why he would look at me and assume that I was racing IMC - Okay, maybe the shaved legs and Specialized transition bag were pretty good indicators. He introduces himself as Scott Adams (it sounds familiar). I introduce myself as Ron Renwick. Sometimes it is very useful to have your name and email address coincide. Scott recognized my name, and further introduced himself as an infrequent poster to Jason's IMC list - this is a really small world! Another friend of mine, Bill - from my Wildflower debacle, showed up and we waited for the plane to Penticton.
We arrived in Penticton. Scott had a seat next to me on the plane where he tried to avoid listening to me whine about how hungry I was for the duration of the flight. Thanks for the pretzels Scott. In the Penticton airport, Scott started talking to this big guy with bright 'blonde' hair and a smaller guy with very little hair. Jason Mayfield and Bruce Grant had come to pick up Scott. I think that Bruce's wife and Eric Austin may have been there too, but it was a few days ago and my memory is not what it used to be. Scott's bike actually made it into Penticton on our flight. My buddy Bill was not so lucky. His bike did not show (as expected), and Canadian Airlines had lost his suitcase too. His carry-on consisted solely of his race wheels, so he was not a happy camper.
Bill and I made our way to the Rochester Resort - 2 doors from the Sicamous, and "The Best Value On The Beach." It was late so we walked the 10 steps to Salty's restaurant for a bite to eat. FYI, avoid Salty's if possible. Bill was able to buy a toothbrush at the local convenience store - he now had race wheels, the clothes on his back and a toothbrush - Bill was not a happy camper.
Wednesday,
0700 - I made my way to the Sicamous for my first pre-IMC swim. I met so many people that I had emailed with over the last 10 months. I only swam for 20 minutes, but meeting everyone was incredible. My goggles broke during the swim - add one more thing to my "Must Buy" list.
After a shower Bill and I walked downtown to the Hog's Breath. We grabbed a cup of coffee and some breakfast. Bill was impressed that we kept bumping into Tri-DRS'ers. I finally told him that "Everything I know about Penticton I learned on from the List." Which meant that anywhere we went we were sure to bump into some Deads. We walked around town, checked out the construction zone of the Athlete's village and hit the Bike Barn - a really cool bike store. Most bike shops in the SF Bay area are pretty streamlined. They look more like a Blockbuster Video store than a neighborhood bike shop - everything is in its proper spot. The Bike Barn rocks - racks of stuff and a good assortment of bikes. Bins were overflowing with stuff. It was a great place to dig around for bike goodies. The place was humming with tri-bikes. There must have been at least 8 workstands going continuously.
We went to lunch at Front Street Pasta (Jason's choice) a great meal for a very low price. I finally met Dave 'the starving student" Barclay. Jason was quite the entertainment director - as the week progressed he started looking more and more like Julie Tewes, the Cruise Director from the Love Boat ;-).
My bike arrived in the afternoon - reassembly consisted of putting the front wheel back on (no allen wrenches for me). For dinner it was Front Street Pasta again this time with my bike hauling friend Ray, Bill, Dead Chris Nugent and lurking Dead Bob Castaldi. A post-dinner beer with Ray and Greg Pressler was quite relaxing. Greg truly is a poet at heart.
Thursday
Thursday was my glycogen depletion/carbo load day so I did a solo swim and run and 4 of us rode the first 15 miles of the bike course out and back. We meant to ride the run course, but we turned left on McClean by mistake. We then picked up our registration packets and got our wrist bands. It was official - I was signed up for an Ironman.
Friday
I missed the 0700 swim by 10 minutes, so I did not get to meet anyone new from the list. However, after the swim I finally met the person that I have tried to meet for months now. We train in the same locations, we race the same races and we live only a few miles apart, but I had never met this person. Finally, after a 2000 mile trek to Canada, I finally met Tri-Baby, the one the only Tricia Richter. Now I wonder how the hell I missed seeing her in other races! And I thought that Jason had some noticable hair.
My buddy Ray and I went to the Hog's Breath after the swim for a dose of caffeine, and we bumped into some deads (imagine that). Gerry Kuse was talking to Tricia and Skippy. He was wearing a 1993 Mike and Rob's shirt, a race that I had my 1/2 IM PR in way back when (it's a small world). It turns out the Gerry and I have raced at several of the same races over the years.
At the carbo load dinner we learned that there would be 675 IronVirgins racing on Sunday. 40% of the racers were attempting there first IM. Wow!
Saturday
My wife flew into town on Saturday morning. I was really glad to see her. She had been so supportive of my training, and she deserves the title of IronMate. She had originally been scheduled to fly up with me on Tuesday, but her school schedule mandated that she stay at home during the pre-race week and attend classes. I often say that you should always have at least one smart person in the family, and I was lucky enough to marry well.
The day pretty much flew by with the pre-race meeting, the parade, packing Special Needs Bags and bike check-in. My nutrition plan was pretty simple - Gu and Cytomax and salt tabs. I had trained with Gu, Cyto and salt tabs over the past 10 months with great results. At the last minute I decided to toss an Okanagan pear into my Bike Special Needs Bag.
A post parade dinner at the Gunbarrel and a walk home were all that I needed for the evening. It was time to get some sleep. Before I drifted off I thought back to my original goals. Oh yeah, I was here to have fun. I was not here to break 14 or 12 or 10 hours, but I still held out for a good race even though I knew that I just wanted to finish. I wish that I would have looked back on my goals more often.
The actual Race Report follows.
Sunday - RACE DAY
I started the day with a 3:00 am breakfast run to Denny's. Ray and I figured that an early breakfast would be useful for us. I had actually slept for about 5 or 6 hours the night before, and I felt pretty good.
At about 5:00 am I gathered my Special Needs Bags and swim gear bag and marched 3/4 of a mile to the transition. I got body marked, Championchipped and went straight to my bike. Even at 0500 the volunteers were friendly and incredibly helpful. I chose to leave my floor pump at the hotel [good choice] - with my floor pump absent from the transition area there were only 1,699 floor pumps in the TA waiting to be used. In addition there was a crew from the Bike Barn with a compressed air cylinder for filling tires. I pumped up my Conti's to about 160psi, loaded my aerobag, filled my jetstream and walked around the corner to the Swim and Run transition bag racks.
The 2 hours from 0500 to 0700 flew by. I chatted with a few friends, revelled in the fact that I was about to start my first Ironman and donned my wetsuit. I did a warm up swim for about 10 minutes in the clear Lake Okanagan. I chatted with Chris Nugent. I high-fived and chatted with Greg Pressler. In Greg's race report he mentioned that he saw "fire in Ron's eyes." With all due respect, I think that Greg is confusing the "Happy Face" holograms on my goggles with fire.
Meeting the people on this list has been a special thrill, both Greg and I have both been doing tri's for over 10 years, but we had waited until now for our first IM. We both had that "This is finally it" feeling, he went on to an incredible race that he really deserved.
The day before the race, Greg had a great observation about the IMC swim course. "It's an International Distance swim on the way out, a few hundred meters to the right and a 1/2 IM swim on the way home - we have done this before."
Oh Canada was played. I think that I heard some bagpipes somewhere, and the race STARTED!
I was here to have fun so I held back for a few seconds to let the mass of humanity clear out from the start line. I started swimming. I kept thinking to myself "This is so COOL! I am finally doing an IronMan." I passed the first set of marker bouys and thought to myself "WOW, I just passed my first set of IronMan marker bouys. This is AWESOME!"
The swim went very well. It was much less brutal than Wildflower, and the course is very well marked. I was so happy to be racing. I was bumped a few times, I swam over a few folks, I drafted a little and hit some toes and I was drafted off of. I hit the first houseboat (leg 1) in 25 minutes - I was ecstatic. I stopped for a second to adjust the neck of my wetsuit as I was experiencing a little chafe. I made it to the second right turn at 35 minutes - one more leg to go. The swim course is so well marked that I had to do very little sighting - maybe one look every 10 strokes. Basically, the swim was all mine. I focussed completely on how I was doing. If I bumped someone or got kicked it just did not matter. I really enjoyed being out there. I hit the beach and attempted to walk over the annoying rocks.
I looked at my watch - I had completed the swim in 1:06!!!!!!!!
I was expecting to have a 1:20 swim as I have only been in the water 5 or 6 times since Wildflower in May, and two of those times were tri swims. A 1:06 was incredible.
I thought "It cannot get any better than this!"
It did not get any better.
In fact, things got far, far worse.
SWIM TO BIKE TRANSITION
I wore my Speedo and singlet under my wetsuit during the swim, so I only had to don my cycling shoes and helmet. I also stopped to urinate - little did I know that I would not have to worry about that for the next 12 hours. . .
I rolled out of town feeling really good. I had just finished an incredible swim, and I was finally starting on the bike leg of my first Ironman! I took it easy for the first 5 miles - I figured that I had 107 more miles to make up time. I hit the drops as we hit South Main Street. My first priority was to hydrate and the cytomax was not tasting very good. I spun my way up McClean Road and picked off many people on the downhill - when you weigh 195 pounds downhills are a real rush. My stomach was a little tight, but I attributed that to being so early in the race.
At the bottom of McClean someone was nice enough to tell me that I had lost my pump during the rapid descent. The bracket holding my pump on my bike broken off. "Nothing I can do about it now - I hope that I don't flat."
At about mile 10 my JetStream went dry. I had a bottle of highly concentrated Cytomax on my downtube with markings on the bottle to delineate portions. I shot some Cyto concentrate into my JetStream and filled the rest with water to make a 7% solution. I immediately took a drink from my JetStream. The concentrate and the water had not mixed together, so I got about an 80% solution of Cyto in that mouthful.
I should have pulled off the side of the road and tossed my cookies.
I chose to keep the cytomax concentrate down and chase it with water - it's hard to say, but this may have been a big mistake.
My stomach started cramping big time! I could no longer drink. I tried to take a Gu, but I could not get it down. 10 miles into the bike and I could neither hydrate nor feed - OH NO!
I tried some different positions on the bike to alleviate my stomach cramps. The aero position put direct pressure on my abdomen which was not feeling too good. I alternated between sitting upright and going aero.
I was still doing pretty good with respect to speed. At mile 41 I took the right turn to head up Richter.
Can someone please tell me why both Wildflower and IMC have a hill at Mile 41???
At the base of Richter I was still holding a 22.5mph average. Then I started climbing Richter. In the grand scheme of things Richter is not a terrible climb. I ride much worse on my regular training rides. However, Richter is at mile 41 of an IM and I had not eaten much for 3 hours (swim and bike time)
I bonked.
I hurt.
I struggled to the top of Richter,
I cursed the wind.
I quit looking at my heart rate monitor - it just did not matter.
I got passed by most of the people racing at IMC.
I got passed by pedestrians who were walking up Richter.
The downhill after Richter should have been a lot of fun, but I could not hold a good tuck. I only hit 47 mph. The uphill after Richter and the rollers through the Osoyoos were intolerable. I just kept pedaling forward. I stopped at about mile 60 to eat a banana - finally I was able to consume something. I was very happy that it stayed down. I continued to slog forward. The head wind was really causing problems. Even the flat spots were hard to ride. I promised myself that I would take a break when I got my special needs bag. I passed a med tent on the way out the second out and back section. I was very tempted to stop and take a nap.
When I got my special needs bag, I rode to the closest clear spot, dropped my bike and sat down. I opened my bag. The Gu's were completely unappetizing, but the pear looked great. I started eating my Okanagan pear - man that tasted good. Unfortunately that was the only good item in my SNB. [Note to Self: diversify nutrition plans in future long races]. Some saint in one of Jason's IMC-RST jerseys stopped next to me. It was John Welch. He had an extra turkey sandwich that tasted incredible. I could eat! This tall guy with a mustache and a blue Softride stopped next to me. He was not having a good day. My personal saint, Jeff, said "George are you OK." It was George Ball. Since I was sitting on the ground in close proximity I have to say - George has some big, skinny feet. George was not feeling too good, and he crossed the road to sit down in a chair.
I shouted to a teammate, Gerry Morton, but he looked around at eye level and missed me sitting down. I saw Tri-Baby, and pretty soon Steve "Gibbo" Gibson rolled up. Gibbo looked incredibly fresh. He looked more like he had just started his ride than that he had already ridden 75 miles. Gibbo's special needs bag was missing and he was pretty irate about not getting to his vegemite sandwiches. To be honest, I have tried the stuff and I think that he was better off not having access to his vegemite, but then again I am not an Aussie ;-).
I gave myself 20 minutes of rest at the special needs stop. The first couple of miles felt OK, but soon thereafter my quads wanted to quit (again).
The course turned back onto Highway 3A and started the gradual climb to Yellow Lake Hill. It was really hot and really windy. Then we hit Yellow Lake Hill. I kept telling myself to live only in the moment - forget about the rest of the race - things will get better, but I was really hurting. It became a battle of feet. Instead of pushing to get to the next mile marker, I goaled for the next traffic sign or the next rock on the shoulder of the road. Bit by bit, pedal turn by pedal turn.
Finally, I stopped on the climb and sat on my top tube for a while (I chose not to time myself). Most people were really great. Almost all of the athletes asked if I was OK, and the race marshalls stopped to check on me. I seriously thought about dropping out. I looked at my watch just as it hit the 7 hour mark. I was at mile 90. I did a quick calculation - I had 10 hours to ride 22 miles and run a marathon. 22 mile rides are easy spins during training. I could do this.
I chose not to DNF. I started riding again. I passed some guy who was walking his bike and I decided to do the same. Two teammates passed me as I was walking, my buddy Ray and Tana, who always looks like she is just out doing an easy training ride even though she is hammering along. They made sure that I was OK as the cruised on by. I made it to the aid station at the top of the hill. A volunteer offered me cold, de-fizzed Pepsi. Pepsi was not in my pre-race plan, but then again, walking up Yellow Lake was not in my plan - I took the Pepsi.
The caffeine and sugar boost was amazing. I started riding once again. My stomach wanted to get rid of the Pepsi, but I made it stay down. I passed Ray and I caught Tana. Tana and I chatted for a minute until my specialty arrived - the Yellow Lake Downhill. I expected to cruise with the downhill bias back into town, but after the big downhill the headwind took over again. I slogged back to the transition area.
As I crossed paths with the people already on the run course I tried to assess their condition. Some people looked pretty good, but most were looking pretty tired. I got to the transition area, but I forgot to slip out of my shoes before I handed off my bike. My brain was not working too well.
BIKE TO RUN TRANSITION
Since I was going to wear my speedo and singlet for the run I did not need to change. I went into the changing tent just to sit down for a while. I applied some vaseline and stuck some reflective tape on my speedo. Ray had slipped the reflective tape in my Bike-Run bag (thanks Ray). I ate a little watermelon and drank some water. The watermelon tasted great, but I was worried about it staying down during the run. I left the changing tent to start my first ever marathon.
An Amazing IMC tidbit - I fully expected to have to carry my gear bags to a rack and hang them up. For both transitions you simply leave the gear bag on the ground. A volunteer comes along and gathers up the gear bag and hangs it on a rack - so simple - so easy for the athlete.
THE RUN
My original plan had been to start running slowly and see how things turned out. Running slowly was not a problem - everything was going to be slow. Running fast was unthinkable. I walked the aid stations, drank, ate a little bit and drenched myself with sponges. It was really hot!!
My first mile was an 11:30 and I was really happy. I hit mile 2 in 22:30 - amazingly I was actually picking up the pace (if only slightly). I walked mile 4. At mile 6, I was caught by some guy who wanted ibuprofen. After Vineman I made sure that I had Ibu with me, so I handed him a tablet. We chatted for a while until it became obvious that we knew each other. It was Dennis from RST and Greg Pressler's friend. Dennis pulled me to the run turnaround by alternating running and walking. Dennis kept talking about his Run special needs bag that contained a pair of dry socks. I remembered that my SNB only had Gu.
[see Note to Self from Bike Special Needs bag section - vary the contents of the Special Needs Bag]]
My split time for the 13.1 miles to the turnaround was 3 hours even. My friend Bill ran into and out of the turnaround looking great. He had a mechanical on the bike that cost him almost an hour.
Then I remembered that I had also put a pair of dry socks in my special needs bag. In fact I had brought a pair to Canada just for this purpose. The socks were pretty old, so if I chose not to wear them it was no big deal if I lost them. I was so happy that I had remembered to put fresh socks into my Needs Bag. The socks would only provide a momentary relief, but that moment would be enough. I needed something to brighten my day.
Dennis and I sat down to open our special needs bags. We ripped off our shoes and wet socks. We opened our special needs bags. Dennis pulled out a pair of dry socks.
OOPS! I had forgotten to pack the socks. I put my sweaty socks and shoes back on. Putting wet, icky socks back on was not the most pleasant feeling. The delivery truck with the chicken soup stopped at the turnaround.
I originally had hoped to be off the course by the time the chicken soup hit the aid stations. I had never envisioned myself only being halfway through the run when the chicken soup came out. Oh well, here I was and the soup smelled good. I sipped a cup and almost hurled. What is manna from heaven for many triathletes just did not sit well with me - I gagged at the first sip.
We started back down the road toward Penticton. The sun was starting to set which meant that it would finally cool off. Ray was just climbing the hill to the turnaround. He was surprised that the turnaround had come so soon - he looked smooth in his running form - nice and steady.
For Dennis and I it was:
Run some.
Walk more.
I ate what little I could at the aid stations.
Ray caught up to us just as we caught up to Bill. Bill had looked great leaving the turnaround, but he was struggling through a low point now. The four of us marched slowly along - it was good to know that every step was bringing us back into town. After a while Bill perked up again, and he and Ray started jogging back to town. Dennis and I kept shuffling along. A mile or two later, Dennis ducked into a porta-potty and I just stopped by the side of the road - the first time that I had urinated in 12+ hours! Believe it or not it was a major mental boost. I had really been starting to worry about my kidneys.
It became apparent that Dennis had a lot more left in his legs than I did. I wished him luck as he disappeared around a corner. My feet were really starting to hurt. I did not have any blisters or abrasions, but it felt like someone had taken a meat tenderizer to the soles of my feet and my toes. I was almost hoping that a couple of my toes would just fall off so that they would not hurt anymore. I came around a corner and hit another aid station. On the other side of the aid station Ray and Bill were walking slowly. They had dropped their pace in order to wait for me - THANKS GUYS!!!!
At that point we were about 20 miles into the marathon. Two women came running by us like it was a 10K - I wondered where they got the energy from. A few seconds later about 4 guys caught us and they laid out their very detailed plan for breaking 14 hours. It is great to be at a race with sooooo many engineers - almost everyone is incredibly analytical. The plan was pretty simple - hold 11 minute miles and we would break 14 hours, but these guys had even calculated walking zones and rest stops..... To everyone we passed - two of the guys kept on saying - "hop on the 9:00 o'clock express. You can do it."
It turns out that the guys had also shared their plan with the two women who had run by like gazelles. The women had found something inside themselves and they chose to push it hard into town. Unfortunately we passed them about 1/2 mile later as they could not hold that pace that they had charged ahead with.. We left the water line of Skaha Lake and started climbing the rollers. I passed another guy and this time I looked back and saw a Tri-DRS singlet. I introduced myself and finally met Jay Capers.
The group of us was still shuffling along trying to hold 11 minute miles. The detail oriented engineer guys were still calculating our odds of breaking 14. I dropped off as we went through the Skaha rollers, but I was able to catch the group again on the downhills. Ray and Bill were feeling pretty good, so they pulled ahead. This left me with the two human calculators/cheerleaders. The guy on the right introduced himself. I was not hearing or concentrating very well so I thought that he said his name was "Ralph." He corrected me that his name was not "Ralph" but "Rolf" - even my feeble brain was able to decipher that I was running next the "Keeper of the IMC Lodging and Goal Times List" I introduced myself to Rolf Arands.
The guy on my left said "didn't I give you a sandwich at the bike Special Needs Bag?" It was John Welch of RST. He had saved me on the bike and he was trying to pull me in for a sub 14 hour finish.
As before - we were shuffling along - only we had picked up the pace to give ourselves a margin of error. We debated about how fast we were running
"do you think this is a 9 minute mile?" "I think it's more like an 8:30" "Yeah right, like we could run 8:30's right now?" "It sure feels like an 8:30"
We turned onto Main Street and hit the aid station. I had to walk and asked Rolf and John to run on. Rolf tried to talk me into running with them, but I was not up for it. The finish line was getting closer, but I was hurting too much - my feet were lodging a formal protest.
I kept trudging along on Main Street. The fans were incredibly helpful. An ironvet on a bike talked to me for over a block - he was very motivating. I promised him that I wouild run again when there were three stoplights to go. Hurricane Bob Mina passed me and I congratulated him. I started jogging again.
Two blocks from the Hog's Breath I picked up my pace. I ran (actually ran - not jogged) the last few yards of Main Street - high fiving the kids and cheering with the crowd. I could not believe that I was running. The left turn onto Lakeshore Drive was incredible. I ran hard to the finish line and crossed in 14:10:48.
I completed my goal. I had gone from couch to Canada in 10 months. I am an IRONMAN.
POST-RACE:
Two incredible volunteers escorted me from the finish line. Somehow I received my IMC towel, finisher's medal and T-shirt (the correct size - how do they do it?). The ladies escorted my to the line for the massage tent per my request - they stayed with me for several minutes until they were sure that I was OK - they brought me water and some chicken soup. The chicken soup actually tasted great. I had a great massage, and I walked back to the finish line to find my wife who was standing right next to the results tent. It was sooooo good to see her. I got my congratulatory hug (over the snow fence) and I heard how proud she was of my accomplishment. After a very long day that was filled with ups and downs it was very uplifting to hear her words.
I picked up my gear bags, changed into some dry clothes, had my finishers photo taken (remember to wear your finisher's shirt and medal - they look great in the photo), I soaked my legs in a hot tub, and I waited to no avail for some pizza. I then picked up my bike and Winter and I walked back to the Rochester. My eyes felt like they had a salt shaker dumped in them - I had to squint to see anything. Winter was hungry after waiting for me for several hours so we went to the Iguana for a bite - nothing else was open at 11:00pm. Fajitas in Canada are not what I am used to - what is a tomato tortilla anyhow???? My stomach was still in an act of rebellion so I took my meal home to eat the next day. We turned on Channel 11 to watch the 17 hour finishers - there was no way that I was going to make it back to the finish line. The fireworks (like the start cannon) went off a little early. I then realized why my eyes were barely open - I was EXHAUSTED. I passed out almost immediately.
THE DAYS AFTER
I awoke on Monday feeling hungry (finally). My stomach was still a little tender, but I managed to eat.
I was happy to have completed my first IM in such difficult conditions, but I was frustrated that I had fallen apart during the race. 14 hours was much longer than what I had hoped to do.
I contemplated IMC '99. My legs hurt, my stomach still ached and I had not totalled the bills for the cost of IMC '98. I did not want to come back to Penticton again in '99. Then I thought twice - this race has the best organization and volunteers of any race that I have ever done. I want to do better than a 14 hour IM. In a month I would be ready to contemplate IMC '99, but I would not have a month to decide. I chose to submit my application for '99.
The rest of the day was a blur - finisher's merchandise, results book (Vineman and Wildflower's took about 3 months to arrive - IMC's was complete with pictures in about 10 hours), awards ceremony, shopping, packing, meeting friends, handing my bike off to Ray for the drive home. soon it was Tuesday morning and time to fly home.
Back home I evaluated the race. In Penticton, surrounded by IronVets, my finish did not look to stellar. As I reread my goals for the race and talked to non-triathletes I started thinking clearly again:
I have completed every one of my IMC '98 goals.
I am an Ironman.
I am not the same person that I was 10 months ago and I am very, very happy that I did what had to be done in order to finish.
To every IronVirgin out there - good luck training for your goals, and be sure to remember what your goals are!!!!
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Premier Doug Ford accepts resignation of his controversial chief of staff, Dean French
Under pressure, Premier Doug Ford has parted ways with his controversial chief of staff, Dean French, in the wake of an embarrassing patronage fiasco. French, an Etobicoke insurance broker, quit Friday night after two cabinet ministers one female, the other male personally appealed to Ford to fire him because his actions have triggered further tumult in a Progressive Conservative government already struggling to regroup. They told Doug: It is time for Dean to go, a senior Conservative insider, speaking confidentially in order to discuss private conversations, told the Star. Ford got the message and his office said he has accepted the resignation. I want personally to thank Dean for his hard work, his leadership and his friendship. I wish Dean the very best in his future, the premier said in a statement. Jamie Wallace, a former Queens Park press gallery president and seasoned political veteran who used to be the top editor at the Sun chain of tabloids, will serve as interim chief until a permanent replacement is found. The move came after Ford was forced to revoke two high-paying patronage appointments 18 hours after announcing them following revelations of their close personal ties to French. It was only the latest in a string of headaches the ousted chief of staff caused for his boss. A senior government source said Tyler Albrecht, a friend of Frenchs son, will not be heading to New York as an agent-general and Taylor Shields, a cousin of Frenchs wife, wont be taking up a similar post in London, England. Offensive postings on Albrechts Facebook account, which date back to 2012 when he was a teenager, have also surfaced. They include the words fag and no homo. The social media posts were scrubbed Thursday as his appointment was being announced, but frame-grabs captured them for posterity. After axing the two French-related sinecures, Fords office denounced the Facebook postings. The comments made by Mr. Albrecht are hurtful and unacceptable, and have no place in public discourse, Ivana Yelich, the premiers press secretary, said in a statement. Premier Ford has decided that Mr. Albrechts appointment will not proceed. We will not be commenting any further on this matter, said Yelich. Neither Albrecht nor Shields returned repeated messages from the Star seeking comment. French was also unavailable. Conservative insiders insist Ford was blindsided by the two French connections, although the other two appointees to the six-figure gigs are well-known to the premier. Former PC party president Jag Badwal, a realtor, will represent the province in Dallas, Texas. Earl Provost, a former Ontario Liberal party executive director and chief of staff to the late Rob Ford when he was Toronto mayor, is being dispatched to Chicago. Both Badwal and Provost have worked with Ford on political matters and have the premiers ear. But Ford knew nothing about Albrecht and Shields when their names were rubber-stamped by cabinet Thursday. A government source said replacements for the pair are now being sought. He hit the roof when he heard about this, a second veteran Tory said of the premier. Normally, such appointments are vetted by cabinet committees to ensure that they are suitable and have not done anything that could embarrass the government. On Newstalk 1010s Moore in the Morning on Friday, former Liberal premier Kathleen Wynne said its clear there wasnt adequate due diligence done on the appointments. Tories confide that that, indeed, was the case. This was stick-handled by Dean, fumed a Ford loyalist, stressing the premier was unhappy because Ford is trying to turn the page for his government with Thursdays sweeping cabinet shuffle. Twelve ministers were moved, including replacing Vic Fedeli with Rod Phillips as treasurer, and six new portfolios created, as cabinet ballooned by 33 per cent to 28 members, including Ford. On Friday, a third senior Conservative operative, speaking on background in order to disclose internal deliberations, said obviously, they wanted to bury the patronage appointments under news of the cabinet overhaul. So that backfired, said the Ford confidant, expressing concern about the damage the debacle will cause to a premier who has styled himself as a champion for the little guy, instead of the downtown Toronto elites he purports to disdain. This is not helpful. Doug cant be happy, said the third insider. A fourth high-ranking Tory confided that other officials were imploring Ford to get rid of the mistake-prone French, whose transgressions have caused the government problems. This (could not) continue. Irreparable damage (was) being caused, the fourth PC stalwart said. As the Star reported last week, Tory MPPs have privately complained to Ford about a culture of fear caused by the heavy-handed chief of staff. That came after French loudly scolded a female MPP on June 6 outside an airport hotel in front of the premier, other members and PC staffers. The rookie GTA MPP broke down in tears and was inconsolable for five minutes, leading Ford to assure MPPs the next day that they should be treated with respect. His office confirmed the incident and said French went to the MPP and apologized and they had an excellent conversation. French is also suing Independent MPP Randy Hillier for defamation, and seeking $100,000 in a damages, over a series of tweets accusing the chief of illegally destroying ballots in the PC leadership race last year In his statement of defence Hillier (Lanark-Frotenac-Kingston) said French is a mercurial man waging a personal vendetta. The long-time MPP was turfed from the Tory caucus in March after complaining to Ford about French. Last November, the chief of staff made headlines when the Star revealed he ordered senior aides to direct police to raid illegal cannabis stores, the day before marijuana became legal, wanting to see people in handcuffs. Staff in the ministries of community safety and the attorney general balked at the edict, with one of them saying, were not a police state. We dont have the right or the ability to direct police to do anything. Still, until Friday night, Ford had stood by French, saying last fall he backed him 1,000 per cent because He works hard. Hes honest. He has integrity. New Democrat MPP Marit Stiles said the decision to rescind the appointments of the French friend and family member was a little bit too late, and shes still very concerned about how these appointments were made in the first place. The process shows that Dean French has a lot of influence at is making decisions to appoint his friends, his relatives, to very plum positions. And I would hope that the premier, as is taking a very close look at that, said Stiles (Davenport). However, the blame still lies with the premier, she said. At the end of the day, Doug Ford is Dean Frenchs boss. He hired Dean French, he brought him in here, and it is Doug Ford, who needs to be answerable for the decisions that Dean Frenchs making. Albrechts appointment also raised the ire of the right-wing Canadian Taxpayers Federation, with president Aaron Wudricktweeting: Ive seen some pretty insulting patronage in my time. Im not sure Ive ever seen one that quite rivals this one. Agents-general earn up to $185,000 a year to boost Ontario business in the U.S. and Britain. Albrecht, who graduated from university three years ago and works in finance, was to be the provinces representative in New York while Shields, an assistant vice-president at ChubbInsurance, was set to go to London, England. The three-year appointments pay $164,910 (Canadian) annually in the U.S., and $185,000 per year in the U.K. Apart from the homophobic comments on social media, Albrecht also liked a group on Facebook called Bringing your Asian to math class, instead of your calculator. Another photo posted on his account shows a woman with the words Im gay written on her cheek. Those posts date back seven years. On Thursday, Ford said of the agents-general that taking Ontarios open for business message around the world will help create the good jobs people need right here at home. Our government will work closely with these experts to make sure theyre delivering what we need and creating opportunities for our businesses to thrive. His move came after the United States Chamber of Commerce, the worlds largest business organization, criticized the Ford government earlier this month for threatening to rip up Ontarios 10-year deal with the Beer Store. Up to four more agents-general could be hired. Read more: Ford doles out political patronage plums to allies Ford scrambles to reboot Tory government with massive shuffle Opinion | Martin Regg Cohn: The day Doug Ford blew up his cabinet to save himself Correction June 21, 2019: This article was edited from a previous version that mistakenly referred to NDP MPP Taras Natyshak as Essex in one reference. Kristin Rushowy is a Toronto-based reporter covering Ontario politics. Follow her on Twitter: @krushowy Robert Benzie is the Stars Queens Park bureau chief and a reporter covering Ontario politics. Follow him on Twitter: @robertbenzie https://www.thestar.com/politics/provincial/2019/06/21/premier-doug-ford-revokes-patronage-appointments-after-reports-of-ties-to-dean-french.html
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