#but im spiralling so catch me venting about things that gave me anxiety

[newt-pontmercy]

Unwarranted ‘ConCrit’

Let me clarify this; this isn’t me saying I’m against concrit in anyways. Constructive criticism can be useful! Especially when it’s asked for! However, if it’s not asked for, it can be kinda...Unhelpful. Actually, unhelpful is the wrong word. ‘Damaging’ is the right word.

So I’ve started writing a multichapter fic recently and I couldn’t quite work out why I was so anxious for comments, obsessively checking with every update to see if there’s more and worrying if there isn’t. At first, I thought it was because I was looking for validation or just because I was getting more comments recently. But then I realised. I’ve been like this towards comments for a long time. And I can probably pin down exactly where it comes from.

Fanfiction.net in 2012.

In 2012, I used to watch the tv series Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. Being 12, I thought ‘wouldn’t it be really neat to write my own story about someone joining the Avengers?!’ so I did! And I had fun writing it! And I was looking forward to writing more! Until the reviews came in. Let me make this very clear; if you read that story then you could tell it wasn’t an adult writing it. You can tell it’s someone young and inexperienced who’s clearly just having fun. These are the reviews on that story.

Yeah, the story was badly written and really cliche and the character was absolutely a Mary-Sue! But I liked writing her! I had so many ideas for that doc but I just...kinda stopped writing it. Because the only feedback I got in it was people telling me it was wrong. It was telling me the story was bad and that was really disheartening.

So I stopped updating. I stopped watching the show and still find it hard to try and rewatch. Because it always makes me think of this. Looking back on it, maybe the reviews aren’t that bad but to a twelve year old? They were a lot. I stopped writing for a long time after that. I started hating everything I was writing and I still cite it as part of the reason I have such a love-hate relationship with my own work. And I know it’s such a dumb thing looking back. But I was a kid and it hurt me a lot.

Anyways

Write as many Mary Sues as you want! You want to make an OC that has a bunch of abilities and can save the canon characters? That’s wonderful! You’re wonderful! Someone calls your story cringe? Screw them! It’s 2020! Cringe culture is dead!

Unwarranted ConCrit can be harmful and y’all need to fucking chill.