#but im having full blown anxiety attacks and loss of breath now and its just been so bad and so scary which of course makes the anxietyworse

[thelaughingmerman]

Last night waaaas. Bad. So bad. Negative /

I had a dream that was one part ok but 2 parts nope. In it my mom used They pronouns for me and called me benny which was like good. But I was still anxious in the dream, it was the third dream in like a week where I mentioned the prospect of having that surgery done, and for the first time in my life I dreamt my teeth fell out.

I guess I didn't sleep enough because about 4 at work I started losing balance and that sent me into a panic attack over nothing and I started having trouble breathing. And then I was like is this just anxiety and my brain was like NO you are SICK. So that made me more anxious. And I'm so overwhelmed. Like my anxiety has been so so so bad lately I'm in such a spiral and I'm so scared all the time. And I just need to hold out for a little while longer soon I can change my insurance plan through work. But it's no wonder I've been so exhausted lately.