#but im hanging in there because i don't have that much longer until vacation

[italian-shitstorm]

20 with mako ;)

Oh girl!!!!! I was so excited to get this because I wanted to do something with angst and hurt and make it sad!! but i didnt???? and some how i wrote a story about Christmas even though it’s almost summer????? anyway thank you!! And sorry in advance. I started writing this then I spent the day at my friends house and finished it and felt like i used 2 different writing styles so whoops (also this is a not that Mako’s birthday is December 18th so this starts a couple days after)

“I want to go home…”

Michael unlocked the door and walked into the quiet apartment. It was late at night and the christmas tree wasn’t on so they had to reach their hand out to turn on a lamp on the side table. Calling out softly, they wondered if Bentley was still up late working or if he had gone to bed already. Everyone seemed asleep except for Shutter who meowed at them and came to rub up against their legs. Kneeling down Michael sighed and pet the cat and picked him up, cradling him close and giving him a kiss. Not being home for the past three days made them worry the cats would forget who they were.

Feeling exhaustion drag them down, they made their way into the bedroom where Bentley was loudly snoring and all sprawled out across the bed. Sitting on the bed, they reached over and kissed Bentley softly on the cheek. Feeling tears threaten to spill for the millionth time, they snuggled up close to Bentley and tried to take a couple deep breaths to calm themselves. Everything just seemed to be piled so high on their plate that it felt overwhelming and Michael wasn’t sure how much more they could take.

Hot tears slid down their face and soaked into their boyfriend’s shirt. All of the tiredness and anxiety from the day seemed to melt away and they continued to cry. A few more minutes went by before they really started feeling sleep drag them under. Before long they were fast asleep, arm wrapped tightly around Bentley’s waist and eyes puffy from crying.

The next day, Michael woke up with the sun in their eyes and one of the cats laying on their chest. Rubbing at blurry eyes, they looked around and felt slightly disoriented. Reaching over to grab the cellphone that they had forgotten to charge overnight they saw a message from Bentley and realized they had slept until after noon. Trying to sit up, muscles groaned in protest from being too sore and their head began to throb with a growing headache. Groaning, they laid back down and let Shutter cuddle back up against their side.

After an hour or so of no relief they went to find some medicine for the pain throughout their body and maybe to get a shower. Moving about the apartment sluggishly Michael realized they hadn’t read Bentley’s text message yet. Tears threatened to spill again as they read the message saying Bentley would be gone all day and probably wouldn’t be back home until late tonight.

Leaning against the kitchen counter, Michael tried to close their eyes and take a couple deep breaths. They knew that it was the stress of work and the holidays making them so emotional, but it was really starting to become overwhelming. Today was the first day home from work in three days and here they were all alone. Michael couldn’t even remember the last time they had a full conversation with Bentley in person. Soon it would be Christmas and they weren’t even sure what exactly they were doing for the holidays. Everything seemed to be falling apart and an overwhelming sense of loneliness and sadness washed over them.

While they waited for the phone to ring, they looked for some medicine and water hoping something might take the edge off of the headache that seemed to be getting worse.

“Hi honey! How are you? I’m so glad to hear from you!”

Hearing their mom’s voice on the other end of the phone just gave Michael so much relief that the tears started falling freely.

“Mako, baby, what’s wrong?” Concern filled their mom’s voice.

“I’m not sure, it’s really just a lot of things,” they sobbed.

Trying to pull themselves back together to form some coherent sentences, their mom tried to get some more information and calm them down.

After stumbling through a really quick summary of the emergency at work, the stress of the holidays, and not really even seeing or talking to Bentley, Michael tried to hold back as many tears as they could.

“Mom, I just really- I want to go home…”

Feeling the homesickness deep in their gut they had tried for so long to ignore it. They had plans to go visit family in a few months, but the feeling of being so far away was absolutely unbearable right now.

“I know baby, I miss you too so so much! But don’t worry, we’ll see each other soon. I promise.”

Unable to continue speaking, Mako was given instructions by their mom to go lay back down and get more sleep. The headache didn’t seem to be going away and they ended up going back to sleep instead of getting a shower.

Waking up again in a daze, their room was dim and they wondered if they had slept all day. Thankfully there was no more headache and their body didn’t seem as sore. Getting up they did a quick sweep around the house but Bentley was still not home. Sighing, they went to finally take a shower and was hoping to get something to eat afterwards.

When Michael finally got out of the shower, they heard a noise coming from the living room. Putting on fresh pajamas, they went out and saw Bentley sitting at his desk working on his laptop. He had his headphones on so he couldn’t hear Michael coming up behind him until they tapped on his shoulder.

Jumping slightly, he turned around quickly and smiled up at Michael, “Hey babe, how are you?”

Leaning down to kiss him on the cheek, Michael wrapped their arms around Bentley’s shoulders. “I’m hanging in there, I guess.”

Noticing the strain in their voice, Bentley turned away from his computer and looked up at his partner with worry. Michael noticed and tried to move away, but Bentley grabbed him by the hand.

“Whoa whoa whoa, you can’t just answer like that and then walk away.”

Instead of trying to pull away Michael just looked back at Bentley and asked if they could talk in the kitchen so they could get some food. As they both stood in the kitchen, Michael started on a quick dinner.

After explaining about missing their birthday, the stress from work and the holidays, Michael mentioned the call to their mom earlier. The homesickness weighed on their heart and they tried so hard not to start crying. There was a moment of silence before they continued.

“With everything going on right now, I just feel like you haven’t been home a lot or you have just been so busy with work that you haven’t had time to do anything.”

Bentley just stood there in silence, unsure of what to say. He knew it was true that he had been so busy with work lately, but he couldn’t help it.

“I tried so hard to get Christmas off from work so that we could spend time together and go to your friend’s house. But we haven’t wrapped any presents yet or done really anything Christmas-y lately. We didn’t even get to celebrate my birthday.” Michael really wasn’t mad, their voice was just sad and as they looked to Bentley for a reaction, he was just quiet and looked just as upset.

“And I know we both still have to work for the next couple days but do you think maybe we can do something together? I just miss you a lot and it feels like forever since I’ve really gotten to talk to you.”

Bentley nodded and grabbed Michael’s hand, “I know I’ve been really busy lately. And I promise that I will try to finish up this work as soon as possible so we can both have a great Christmas - we can even do something special for your birthday! We’ll make gingerbread houses or wear ugly sweaters or even get shitfaced on eggnog! Whatever Christmas-y things you want to do! Just give me a little more time for work and I promise that we’ll have a great Christmas.”

Not really sure what was really making them cry, Michael started to tear up as they hugged Bentley tightly. A little bit of the weight that was pressing down on their shoulders was gone and Michael hoped that maybe Christmas would be okay.

Mako sighed as he parked the car and closed his eyes for a moment. It was Christmas Eve and he felt so tired and wanted nothing more than to snuggle with Bentley and the cats and take a nap. All day at work he had been running around and trying his best to fight off the feeling of dread that lingered in the back of his mind. Ever since they had the talk, things hadn’t really changed. They ended up getting a small cake for his birthday and Bentley did get him a very nice watch that he wanted, but as for Christmas. Things still seemed out of hand.

Tomorrow they were supposed to meet everyone at Frank and Ethan’s house for a big dinner and presents, but at the moment, Mako really didn’t feel like he had the Christmas spirit to even enjoy it. And it’s not that he didn’t want to because he really did. Life just seemed to throw everything at him and it was really getting hard to stay happy and positive.

Getting out of the car, he grabbed his backpack and made his way to the apartment. As he got to the door he realized a fresh wreath was hanging on the door. It smelled of fresh pine and had a large red plaid bow tied neatly on the bottom. Confused Mako leaned in to smell it and feel the leaves. It was fresh and real but he had no memory of buying one or putting it on the door.

Trying the door knob, it was unlocked and he was shocked by what he saw inside. The thing that surprised him the most was that the house was immaculately clean. Everything was organized and more Christmas decorations were laid out on the coffee table. The tree was lit up brightly and to it’s left all of the stockings - even the cats’ small stockings -  were hung up on the wall. The aromatic smell of cloves and cinnamon hung in the air and he breathed deeply. A few candles were lit up on the high shelves and there were presents neatly arranged under the tree.

As if on cue all three cats came running out of the bedroom to see who ad come into the house. Each cat was wearing a different colored bow on their collar and Mako couldn’t help but kneel down and tell them all how handsome they were. Picking up Sokka, Mako looked up and saw Bentley come out of the bedroom as well wearing the tackiest Christmas sweater he had ever seen. He couldn’t help but laugh as Bentley walked over to him with something behind his back.

“Am I dreaming? What is going on here?” Mako asked as he leaned in for a kiss.

“I like to think this is what Hallmark would call a Christmas surprise. Part one of course,” he added at the end quickly.

“Part one? Out of how many parts? Why though?”

Bentley shrugged and the bells on his sweater jingled. Sokka reached out from Mako’s arms and tried to swat at the small bells. “If I’m being honest, I really owe you big time. For a lot.”

Mako looked down and gave a tired smile, “You really don’t though.”

Bentley rolled his eyes and swung his arms out to motion at all the decorations in the house, “Pfft, well you could have told me that earlier before I did all this!”

Looking back at Mako, Bentley had a genuine smile, “No, I really did owe you. I really wanted to do something special this year so I tried to take on some extra jobs to earn more money, but they took a lot longer than I thought and I got really overwhelmed. But I wanted to make sure you had a great Christmas.”

Revealing what was behind his back, Bentley handed Mako a Christmas sweater that was just as ugly as the one he was wearing. Laughing, he set the cat down and opened up the sweater to get a better look at it. It had lights that actually turned on and tinsel woven into the  actual fabric. It was so terrible that Mako loved it instantly. Feeling overwhelmed with love and appreciation, Mako started to cry and hugged his boyfriend tightly. Bentley peppered him with kisses all over his face and held him tightly.

“I love you so so much,” Bentley whispered.

“I love you too,” Mako sniffled.

After a moment they pulled apart from each other and Bentley couldn’t help but smile at how Mako tried to wipe away his tears. “Okay well let’s hurry up and take a shower and change because you smell like seaweed.”

Mako laughed but knew he probably did smell like he had been soaking in pond water all day.

“We have a tight agenda to stick to of making a gingerbread house, singing cheesy christmas carols, and making cookies. Also I heard we might have a visitor or two later, so chop chop!” Bentley said excitedly.