#but if you wanna discuss this I welcome discourse!! feel free to call me out on stuff | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whileyoureinschoolidothisallday · 3 years ago

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yuh hello I decided to pin an info post so let’s get into it

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♥*♡∞:｡.｡ 𝔸𝔹𝕆𝕌𝕋 𝕄𝔼 ｡.｡:∞♡*♥

WELCOME! =D

My name’s Arisa Cliché! You can call me Risa for short! This blog has been my humble corner of tumblr since 2010! I am a 30-something Adult, so if that makes you uncomfortable, don’t feel obligated to stay. 99% of the time this is a SFW blog tho, and any other rare discussions or fandom pics will be tagged as such. This is my personal blog and I typically fill it up with text posts about my life, reblogs, fandom content, human rights/political posts, aesthetic pics, and anything else I’m into! I consider myself a cripplepunk anarchist and those vibes will be present to the best of my ability in the social justice flavored takes I reblog or post. If you don’t like any of these things, I wouldn’t hit the follow button. Also, feel free to block me!

I’m a writer! I typically write original YA/NA Fantasy, Poetry, and Creative Nonfiction, but I also dabble in Fanfiction and fan theories when the mood hits me. If you’d like to support my work, I post everything on AO3 and on my sideblog, Writing with Chaos. I’ve been writing a YA book called Cynical Chaos since I was 15, and if you wanna know more about it, or meet my precious OCs, click here!

Admittedly, I don’t post as much on tumblr as I used to. I’ve mostly migrated to twitter since the 2020 Purge, but I stick around here for a safe haven when things get a little too fast paced over there (and let’s be honest the memes are way better here ;p) and also to visit the communities I’m part of! I got a lot of side blogs and there’s many things I’d miss if I completely left. I’m afraid I’m here till this place burns. If you wanna follow me anywhere else, I’m @chaosonwheels23 on both Twitter and Instagram.

My ask box is always open and I love hearing from y’all so feel free to say hi! ^_^ The only rules I really have is if you try to start arguments with me about any of the ridiculous tumblr shit/harmful irl ideologies present on this site, such as terf/swerf beliefs, anti-blm or other racism, any radical feminist stances, exclusionism/gatekeeping of any kind, puritan behavior, ableism, or shipping discourse, I will simply block you without a response. I have absolutely zero interest in debating these things. I don’t vet much except to check if you’re a bot--so if I block you and you don’t fit any of the following, it’s cause your blog was empty or you had a sus name--but if I find out you are a terf, swerf, fash trash, rad fem, or you post l*licon, I will block on sight. I do not follow back unless we’ve had friendly interactions a decent amount of times. These rules apply to all social medias.

If you’re still here after all that, click the read more for a little more about me and tag suggestions! Feel free to also read the full tag list on the right!

I hope you have a good, safe day and thanks for stopping by! （＾－＾✿）

*°:⋆ₓₒ 𝔽𝕌ℕ 𝔽𝔸ℂ𝕋𝕊 ₓₒ⋆:°*

Some small things about me that aren’t listed on my sidebar!

-I’m Taurus Sun and Moon, Libra Rising, Aries Venus, Mars Cancer

-INFJ

-I graduated college (undergrad) in Fall 2019 with a BFA in Creative Writing. Eventually, I also want to go back and finish my BA in Gender and Women’s Studies so I can work in domestic violence counseling.

-I am the cutest Lolita on four wheels ;p I started wearing the fashion actively around 2017

-I have two pets: A GSD named Sahara and a black cat named Luna Rae

-The reason why I use a wheelchair is because of a neuromuscular degenerative disorder that I was born with

-I practice witchcraft and identify as a Pagan since 2013/2014. All talk about that goes over here. I like cottage and sea witchery, tarot, sigils, rootwork, and kinda gettin’ into astrology.

-I love to sing!!!!

*＊✿❀𝔽𝔸𝕍𝕆ℝ𝕀𝕋𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕊 ❀✿＊*

✧･ﾟ 𝓜𝓾𝓼𝓲𝓬

-Thrice

-ADTR (at least before the Incident...)

-Underoath

-Paramore

-MCR

-All Time Low

-Kings of Leon

-Issues

-Four Year Strong

-State Champs

-Homesafe

-Teenage Wrist

-Loathe

-Sleep Token

-Meet Me @ the Altar

-Fox Lake

-Marina and the Diamonds

-Lorde

-Rihanna

-Beyoncé

-Halsey

-Willow

-SZA

-Kesha

-Lil Nas X

-BTS

-Meg Thee Stallion

-Rico Nasty

-Tyler the Creator

-Kilo Kish

-Kendrick Lamar

-Childish Gambino

-Flo Milli

-JPEGMafia

-Jidenna

-Obviously my favorite genres are metalcore/post-hardcore/pop-punk and I identify the most with that, but clearly I listen to literally everything lmao

✧･ﾟ 𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓻𝓼

-Pink

-Red

-Purple

-Silver

-Black

✧･ﾟ 𝓥𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓸 𝓖𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼

-JRPGS (Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc)

-RPGs (Bioshock, Fallout, Detroit: Become Human, Undertale)

-Platformers (Sonic, Jak and Daxter, Kirby, etc)

-Adventure (Pokemon, Zelda)

-Fighting/Beat ‘Em Ups (Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Scott Pilgrim)

-Action (Devil May Cry, Last of Us, Uncharted, Hades)

-Indie Horror/Psych Horror (Little Nightmares, Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Doki Doki, OFF)

-Simulation/Survival (Don’t Starve, Harvest Moon, Stardew Valley, Papers Please, Not Tonight)

-Dating Sims/Visual Novels (Obey Me, Mystic Messenger, Dream Daddy)

-Dress-Up/Light-Hearted Games (Love Nikki, Rhythm Heaven, Cooking Mama)

✧･ﾟ 𝓐𝓷𝓲𝓶𝓮

-Sailor Moon

-Yu Yu Hakusho

-Dragon Ball Z

-Lucky Star

-Princess Tutu

-Little Witch Academia

-Jujutsu Kaisen

-Link Click

-Demon Slayer

-Fire Force

-The Case Study of Vanitas

-My Hero Academia

-The Way of the Househusband

-Full Metal Alchemist

✧･ﾟ 𝓣𝓥

-Skins

-That 70s Show

-Living Single

-The Magicians

-Pose

-Gravity Falls

-Over the Garden Wall

-Parks and Rec

-The Good Place

-Vampire Diaries

✧･ﾟ 𝓑𝓸𝓸𝓴𝓼

-Going Bovine

-Heir Apparent

-Hunger Games

-Wuthering Heights

-Practical Magic

-Hell Followed With Us

✧･ﾟ 𝓕𝓸𝓸𝓭, 𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓽𝓼, & 𝓓𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓴𝓼

-Pasta

-Pizza

-French Fries

-Steak and Fried Potatoes

-Most chicken dishes

-Curry

-Tempura

-Quesadillas

-Junk Food(TM)

-Seafood

-Fresh bread

-Cheesecake

-Blueberry Muffins

-Banana Bread

-Chocolate

-Caramel

-Lemon cake, bread, bars, etc

-Cookies

-Apple juice

-Hot cocoa

-Sparkling Grape Juice

-Strawberry Soda

✧･ﾟ 𝓐𝓷𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓼

-Elephants

-Tigers

-Puffins

-Snakes

-Bunnies

-Foxes

-Fish

✧･ﾟ𝓐𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓼

-Punk/Cripplepunk

-Emo

-Nu-Goth

-Pastel Goth

-Glam/Baddie

-Lolita

-Kawaii

-Cottagecore

-Witch

-Dark Academia/Light Academia

-Barbiecore

-Pixel Art

-Vaporwave

‧̍̊˙˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙ ℝ𝔼ℂ𝕆𝕄𝕄𝔼ℕ𝔻𝔼𝔻 𝕋𝔸𝔾𝕊 ˚˙ᵕ꒳ᵕ˙˚˙‧̍̊

° 𐐪𐑂 𝓓𝓪𝓲𝓵𝔂 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮

Real life with Risa - texts posts from me!

Ask box! - Y’all send me comments!

Helpful links - various websites and resources

Helpful tips - tips for tons of different subjects

Adulting - How to be Responsible 101

Things to remember

Me - #relatable

° 𐐪𐑂 𝓢𝓸𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓵 𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓮

ORGANIZE - the main tag. Tips on self-sustainability, protest safety, links for charities and donations, general resources, etc

Disability rights - posts discussing ableism and how we can fight against it

° 𐐪𐑂 𝓐𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓬

FOOD! GLORIOUS FOOD! - Foodie pics

Disabled Lolita - my Lolita fashion journey! Includes aesthetic pics and history about the fashion

Pretty pictures - main aesthetic tag

Pretty art - Art with no fandom tag

Pretty spaces - Aesthetic rooms

Pretty words - Words I like (Not all of the words are happy, just a warning)

Aesthetic - various vibes

What a wonderful world - Beautiful places and things on Earth

Music, playlists - Tunes, bruh

° 𐐪𐑂 𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓸𝓶

The Furry Scare of 2005 - Sonic

Bible Fanfiction - Obey Me! This is a 16+ tag for suggestive art! (see also: rad resources, demonic headcanons, RAD Library, and RAD Library: Restricted Section (that one is 18+ only please!!!!))

X-men but Anime - My Hero Academia. (See also: MY EXPLODEY SON for Bakugou, I C E Y H O T for Todoroki, The Pure Son for Midoriya, and The Evil One for Dabi (this one has nsfw fics and pics so 18+ only!!!)

POKEMON

kny - Demon Slayer. See also my tag for the best skrunkly demon boy, gyuutarou simp hours (there are nsfw fics in here so this is an 18+ tag only please!!!)

Kpop Koolaid - BTS

gone to the underworld bbl - Hades

Stardew Valley - includes mod links!!!

Undertale - also includes Deltarune

Risa liveblogs

#about me #pinned post #Real Life with Risa

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vann0e · 3 years ago

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hi, i'm nahi, i just want to contribute stuffs to the vnc fandom and make friends if possible, thanks <3

also if u wanna use the icons i make, feel free to! just like and/or reblog to give me the warm fluffy feeling of internet validation !! and pls don't steal by claiming any of my edits as ur own, i put a lot of time, effort and most importantly love in the content i create ^^;;

also i've seen a lot of anti vs pro shipper stuff and i just prefer to stay away from that whole,,, discussion (or rather battlefield? considering i've heard antis do dish out death threats and doxx people which is scary for me), i also prefer not to disclose my age however this blog will be mostly sfw unless i choose to post something on my ao3 which is nsfw for which minors will be warned.

also i don't usually reblog stuff (unless i'm in a convo w someone), for some reason it makes me panic and go ???;;;!!! and idk why but that's why you'll never see me reblog things !!

this is a safe place for all people, anyone is welcome here. however i don't enjoy arguments so if any of my opinions upset you, please just block me and move on! please do not try to demonise me or call me racist, xenophobic or anything of the sort especially in regard of the recent discourse, anyone who claims i'm racefaking or stuff like that will be blocked because i'm going through a lot these days- i mean a lot. thank you for your understanding.

[im still learning how tumblr works, pls be patient with me]

!! on break !!

#important !!!!#antis dni #maps dni

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tyler-kin · 3 years ago

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♦️️ Introduction ♦️

GOODMORNING CAMPERS! This is Tyler Total Drama speaking- your stunning handsome mun of this blog- and this is my Total Drama hyperfixation blog! Here I’ll be giving my thoughts on the show, posting art, doing requests, w/e. But mainly I wanna meet other fans and gush about TD together!

♦️️ Requests ♦️️

🚩 Icons - I default to 3 square 500x500 icons, but I can also do other shapes like hearts, circles, etc with alternate resolutions upon request! Just be specific!

🚩 Playlists - My playlists are usually 6 songs at minimum and 10 at max. If you request a playlist, it can be themed around anything (TD related ofc) and you can specifiy how many songs you want. Ofc, longer lists mean more time to complete.

🚩 Positivity Posts - If you need some comfort, advice, or general positivity, you can always leave a request for me! Y’all are my PEOPLE! I wanna look out for you guys!

🚩 Doodles - As long as it’s reasonable and innocent, I’m happy to draw pretty much any total drama stuff!

🚩 Kin Assigning - Gimme a list of your tropes or a description of yourself and I’ll happily kin assign you some characters from TD!

🚩 Canon Calls - If you’re a TD kin looking for canonmates, send me your kin and some details +whoever specific you’re looking for and I’ll post it on my blog!

🚩 Headcanons - I love making headcanons for TD, so give me a pairing/concept/or character and I’ll give my thoughts on it!

♦️️ Rules ♦️️

📌 No Bad Vibes - Standard rules. No racists, sexists, transphobes, homophobes, MAPS/NOMAPS, whatever. If you’re an icky person, you’re not welcome, you know who you are.

📌 No Discourse - While I’m cool discussing stuff about TD, I wanna keep my blog as discourse-free as possible! I know Total Drama has had a lot of shitty stuff happen in source, and I’m fully against it! But that’s as much as I wanna say about it.

📌 Activity - Since this is like- a hyperfix blog, I don’t have a guarenteed time limit for requests, plus I may go on random hiatuses when I fixate on other sources. So just keep that in mind during your stay!

📌 Request Limits - Feel free to request as much stuff as you want, all I ask if that you keep it to one request per ask!

📌 Tags - I tag characters. pairings, and just general featured topics, but you can always lmk if you’d like something specific tagged! (All my main tags’ll be featured at the end of this post!)

♦️️ About Me ♦️️

🏓 My name is Jaspers, but here I go by Tyler! (Brick or Shawn work too.)

🏓 I’m 20, Cancer 🦀

🏓 I’m a trans man! He / Him / His and Sun / Sol / Sunself pronouns only please!

🏓 MY Total Drama kins are ofc; Tyler, Brick, and Shawn!

🏓 I’ve seen MOST of Total Drama, but for specifics, here's a little post!

🏓 I like to draw, write, play videogames, and watch cartoons! (I have plenty of other favorite shows <3)

♦️️ Outro ♦️️

IF you’ve made it this far then- wow! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you guys enjoy my blog and I can get to know y’all better! Uh feel free to rb this to give my blog a little promotion, I’d greatly appreciate that!

#☆ “ Woah! Thanks man! ” ⋆ 「 Submissions 」#☆ “ Another one for Team Tyler! ” ⋆ 「 Asks 」#☆ “ Freaky man… ” ⋆ 「 Anonymous 」#☆ “ One for you!- ” ⋆ 「 Completed Requests 」#☆ “ -One for me! ” ⋆ 「 Not a Request 」#☆ “ Welcome to another episode of: Tyler Talks! ” ⋆ 「 Text Posts 」#☆ “ You got this dude! ” ⋆ 「 Promos 」#Total Drama Island #Total Drama #TDI blog #TD blog #TDI edit blog #TD edit blog #uhghhhh IDK WHAT ELSE TO ADD.

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pudgecuddles · 3 years ago

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My Content & Boundaries

[No need to be alarmed! Nothing has happened to prompt this, I just figured it was about time that I pin a post like this.]

Welcome to my kink blog! This post is here to introduce myself, disclose what type of content that I may reblog or post here (including trigger warnings) and state my boundaries concerning who I want and don’t want interacting with me or my blog.

Intro:

Hi! I’m pudgecuddles! I’ve been here in the community as a lurker since 2018, and finally got around to making this sideblog about 2 years ago under the handle “prettypudgy”. I changed my username slightly after some twitter douchecanoes took screenshots of my content and made threads mocking it.

I am 24 years old and identify as female. Please use she/her pronouns when referring to me. I won’t be mad at all though if you use they/them or he/him, but I’ll probably just gently let you know what I prefer :)

I am aromantic/asexual, meaning that I do not experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or expression. I still experience aesthetic attraction, and of course enjoy the concept of weight gain as a kink.

Although I am participating in them, I am not looking for RP partners at the moment!

My Content and the Content I Reblog:

Although I do like fluffy and mild WG content (ya’ll who make that type of content are amazing and beautiful and deserve all the love and reblogs in the world), I do enjoy darker and less popular tropes/kinks as well. Up until recently the majority of the stuff I’ve reblogged has been cute and moderate, but I have been working on my own stories and RPs which happen to be on the more intense/darker side.

My content going forward may include topics such as:

Extreme Weight Gain Immobility Mind Break Pet/Pig Play BDSM Humiliation Manipulation Feminization Dub-Con Watersports Eproctophilia Slob Abusive Relationships (it’s not something I enjoy writing, but I may reblog it)

I will always tag specific topics and tropes that may not be for everyone such as immobility or fart kink stuff. And definitely triggering content such as dub-con or degradation. For example, I will tag it as “Immobility”, “cw Immobility” and “tw Immobility”, in case someone has only one tag blacklisted.

Please keep yourself safe! This community is supposed to be a comfortable, creative area where users can curate a homepage of content that matches thier tastes and respects their boundaries. I will not be offended at all if you decide to block me or my written/rendered content. All I ask is if you’re already an acquaintance or mutual of mine that you let me know before you do :) You don’t even need to tell me why, I just don’t want to wonder if I made you mad or were ignoring me on purpose.

Zero hard feelings, seriously! The block button is there to protect you!

Boundaries:

Please do not hit on me, or unexpectedly discus sexual topics without me knowing your age and instigating it. It is different if I already know you and am comfortable speaking with you like that.

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow that drawing is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Thank you so much! ^_^ What do you think about the shape of his hands?

Minors: If you do not have your age, (or at least an 18+ only, or “I am an adult!”) in your bio, I will either ask you for your age or choose not to interact directly with you. This is not a punishment or a personal vendetta. I just do not feel comfortable interacting directly with minors when it comes to NSFW kink content. I am okay with reblogging your content, as supporting those in the community that are still young and exploring their identities in a safe and distant way is very important to me. I am so happy for you that you have found a welcoming and protective space to safely explore your sexuality and discuss your favorite groups. It’s what I wish I had when I was younger.

But I ask that you don’t attempt to private message me or participate in conversations that are sexual in nature.

Bigotry: Do not interact with me, my blog or my content if you do not support all LGBTQ+ identities. This includes but is not limited to: Transgender folk, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Polysexuals, Omnisexuals, Asexuals, Aromantics and Non-Binary/Agender peeps. TERFs, exclusionists and Battleaxe Bisexuals are not welcome and will be insta-blocked. Same with those that participate in “discourse” on these topics.

If you do not believe that Black Lives Matter or support Donald Trump or any conservative party, politician or policy, please unfollow and block me. They have killed thousands of people and actively lobby against minorities.

This is the only time that I will be political on this blog. I am infinitely more outspoken/advocating on my main, but this sideblog is supposed to be a stress-free, kinky escape from the horrors of reality. I go on my main to reblog petitions, I go on here to reblog erotica.

This does not mean that I do not care, or that I am not an ally or that I enable racists or transphobes. It just means that I recognize that sometimes people get burnt out from constantly being reminded of the policies that harm them, or acts of violence against their race. I want this blog to be an escape, for both myself and my followers.

Hate/Trolling: Hateful or negative comments on me or my friend’s content will get your account blocked. This ranges from “ew” to telling them to kill themselves. This behavior is not tolerable anywhere, and the more extreme comments will be reported to Tumblr staff. Comments saying our content is disgusting will automatically tell me you think it’s hot and are in denial. How very sad. I will dedicate my grossest story to you specifically.

Inter-Community Drama: Mob behavior, brigading, witch hunting, call out posts (vague or by name), vitriolic hate and bullying of any type is something that makes me extremely uncomfortable due to having experienced cyberbullying in the past. Making people deactivate, continuing to attack them after apologies and other related behavior will get you blocked no matter the quality of your content, your standing in the community or our relationship history.

I cannot deal with seeing that behavior and it scares me continuing to interact with those that I learn can so easily turn on their friends like that.

That’s All Folks!

#tw mention of abuse #tw mention of self-harm #tw drama #tw politics

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minuteminx · 4 years ago

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About Me

I keep forgetting that Tumblr has this neat little pin function that would be really good for introducing myself and giving folks some pertinent information before you follow and/or interact with me or my content, so, here goes!

Hi everyone! My name’s Allison, and I am relatively new here (to Fallout 4 fandom, not to Tumblr. I’ve been on Tumblr since 2015.) I started playing FO4 in April 2020, and I made the silly mistake of actually caring that I’d run off all my Dragon Age followers from my main blog (@allisondraste) with my new interest, so I made anentire sideblog and here we are. So if you get a like, follow, ask or reply from @allisondraste, that’s me!

I am going to put the rest of this About Me under a Read More to be mindful of space, and of people’s dashes. :)

Basic Information

Preferred name: Allison! (But honestly if you come up with a nickname for me, I’m probably going to be cool with it.)

Preferred pronouns: She/Her, but I’m also fine being called They/Them

Sexuality: Asexual

Real life occupation: Psychology Doctoral Intern (at the time of posting. If you read this after August 1st 2021, I’ll just be a Psychologist)

Things I do in fandom: Art, fanfiction, meta/lore, shitposting, reblogging/supporting other creators

Other fandom’s I’ve participated in: Dragon Age, Inuyasha

Where else you can find me:

Main Blog

Twitter

Instagram

Archive of Our Own

Fallout 4 Specific Information

Preferred faction: Minutemen!

Favorite characters: Preston, MacCready, Hancock, Piper, Nick, Sturges, Ronnie

Characters that I am occasionally critical about, but 100% support other people liking them:

OTP(s): Preston/SoSu, Sturges/Danse, Piper/Sullivan, any of my friends’ ships tbh

BroTP(s): Preston & Piper, Preston & Sturges, MacCready & SoSu, Hancock & SoSu

NoTP(s): I don’t think I have one other than just “broadly abusive.”

General Preferences for Interaction

I’ll start by saying that this isn’t a “do not follow if” section (with the exception of bigots and general jerks). This is more of a “if you follow me, please be aware of and respect my boundaries” section. I’ve not always had the greatest experience in fandom and it’s made me very wary of new spaces.

So here are some things to know:

I have opinions (tm) about characters and lore, and I will openly state those on my blog. It does not bother me if you disagree and I am always welcoming of good faith discussion and debate. However I prefer that anything extra critical of my faves, my ideas, or me, be kept out of the notes of my posts. I will never attack anyone for their opinions or preferences, either.

If I want constructive criticism, I will ask for it. I create content for fun and for free, so unless something I’ve made is unintentionally harmful, I would rather not receive that kind of feedback. If I do make something unintentionally harmful, please let me know so that I can address it. I do my research and try to be sensitive, but I’m aware that I am not immune to mistakes.

I cannot stress this next point enough: I am new here. This means that I literally have absolutely nary an idea about the history of fandom drama and discourse. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I can promise you that, even though I am not a fan of the BoS (just for example, and anecdotally), any criticism about the BoS is never directed towards people who do like the BoS. I understand that we are all different people with different backgrounds and our reaction to the same content may be different.

That being said, if you aren’t someone who likes to see BoS critical content, then my blog might not be for you. I do, however, like Paladin Danse as well as several other characters who are part of the BoS, so it’s really a mixed bags.

I am not a fan of discourse and would prefer not to participate in it. I am also completely against personal attacks based on assumptions drawn from fictional preferences.

I keep my blog safe for work, and I will never reblog explicit content, even if I like it.

I really really really really really really hate Preston settlement jokes. I know it’s a meme and an old tradition, but I really hate it. I also do not enjoy content in which he is abused, killed, etc., so please be aware that I may unfollow or not follow back if you regularly share these things.

I love being tagged in things! Never question if it’s okay or if I will be annoyed. I am ALWAYS happy to be tagged, even if I can’t always find time to answer them.

My ask box is always open and I leave my anons on. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or just wanna say “hey!” feel free to see me there. Please don’t send nasty anons.

Thanks for taking the time to read all of thi and for getting to know me! I hope to see you around :D

#about me #personal #long post

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lit--bitch · 5 years ago

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Current-Reads (20/04/2020 - 26/04/2020) 🍓🐢

(Disclosure: I don’t know anybody I’ve been currently reading this week. 😊)

Adding the preface again here: every Sunday without fail I throw up the freshest literature and photography I’ve read over the week, sometimes it’s a book, sometimes it’s a piece I saw in a magazine or an online zine, sometimes it’s something I saw on social media, etc. Sometimes I add ‘RECOMMEND’ next to a few of the titles, but that’s not to say I don’t recommend all of them, I just love some pieces more than others. Not everything will be everybody’s cup of tea, yanno, c’est la vie. And any titles that you see in bold are hyperlinked so if you click or tap them they’ll direct you straight to the source… or shopping basket.

This week I’m gonna throw in a red herring and tell you about something I’ve been watching as well as what I’ve been reading, because I think it’s really cool and definitely appropriate for the age we’re living in at the moment.

So I’ve been reading: Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) which was edited by her son, David. I also read an interview on Granta from March between Rachel Long and Morgan Parker. I’ve also tucked into a couple pieces on Fence, Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’ and Anthony Michael Morena’s ‘The Whale’. I also saw Cecelia Knapp’s poem in Bath Magg Issue Three (but the whole issue is an absolute smacker, it’s great). Last but not least, I’m up to episode 5 of a brand new thing called The Midnight Gospel. It is crazy good. And it’s on Netflix right now.

***

Cecilia Knapp, ‘I Used To Eat KFC Zingers Without Hating Myself’, Bath Magg Issue #3: I really loved the whole of Issue Three, I guess I was quite struck by this particular poem for its “staccato-ness”. This poem is buttered with present-day references. But they’re not necessarily about creating a familiar environment. Rather the object of familiarity is found within the assemblage of places, snacks and thoughts, all of which compound the grief ‘I’ is experiencing. The ‘I’ ruminates on life’s banality and their personal insecurities in living banality: ‘I need a thigh gap. I use emojis / to avoid conflict. Worry I’m a gentrifier. Watch docs about murdered women’. The vapidity is funny. The pain is not. The insecurities deepen. Your body, your life, continues the ache of day-to-day routine, and finds no resolution in the things which may or may not stand to comfort oneself when ravaged by loss. The poem feels quite loose, and disinterested. It’s a sore poem, but its array of references make it colourful. It sort of reminded me of Édouard Levé’s work a little bit? But if Édouard Levé had been a pop culture fanatic chewing HubbaBubba bubblegum on the London Overground. Bath Magg is a pretty exciting new magazine, (been around just under a year I think?) and they’ve published a lot of great writers, many of whom are emerging and I’ve spotted some quite established peple in there too. Kudos to their rubber ducky logo. It’s run by Mariah Whelan and Joe Carrick-Varty.

In Conversation with Morgan Parker and Rachel Long, Granta Magazine: I deeply love Morgan Parker’s work, she’s, in my opinion, the master of titles. I can’t think of anybody who titles their work as well as Morgan Parker does. And I love the depth of honesty and charisma in this interview. Like yeah, it appears to be a generic Q/A but, it genuinely feels like a conversation, and it’s welcoming and unpretentious. Rachel Long asks some penetrating questions, and Morgan’s answers are so detailed and self-aware. Most of the discussion revolves around the action of writing poetry in general and where does that impulse arise from, but they do discuss Morgan’s latest collection Magical Negro which came out February last year. It’s a narrative on black womanhood, on micro-aggressions and reoccuring violence, it’s about breaking down white perceptions of blackness, and dissolving those projections. What I love about Morgan Parker is she’s tackling this fucking idiot thing where (mostly) white people think she’s attempting to represent all black women in her writing, which is, by Morgan’s own admission, impossible. Her work is a duty to herself, to the background she’s lived and lives, and to unpack that discourse in her own way. And if it resonates, then great! I felt all this was inherent in the interview and only adds to my respect for her, and to Rachel for being such an attentive interviewer. BTW Rachel Long has a debut collection coming out this July, My Darling from the Lions.

Anthony Michael Morena, ‘The Whale’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): I can’t tell you how much I adored this beautiful mass of whale and word. It’s an essay which references the American Natural History Museum’s Blue Whale model. The writing is thick with feeling and fat with concern. It blends monologue, memoir. It’s non-fiction and documentary. It’s elusive, enigmatic, fragmented. It’s like broken biscuits and blubber. To me it felt like a note on the offences of climate change, the emotional response and grief as we bystand erosion and corrosion, the loss of life, and the urge to merge something back together as it dissolves and fragments before our eyes. It’s as personal as it is public. A gorgeous and complex piece.

Susan Sontag’s As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh (Diaries 1964—1980) (RECOMMEND): I felt so afflicted reading Susan Sontag’s diaries, because y’know, it’s the equivalent of invading an Ancient Egyptian pharaoh’s tomb. Like, leave people alone. At the same like, this woman. These diaries are still shaping me, and each section leaves you with the weirdest aftertaste. Her personality permeates through every detail, every line-break, every reference and articulation of feeling. You learn so much, you gain so much from her perceptions and observations. How do I contain Susan Sontag? How do I describe these diaries? Not at all. Just buy it.

Lexi Welch’s ‘Astroturf’, Fence Portal (Streaming) (RECOMMEND): My eyes locked onto this piece and just didn’t really stop reading. Lexi’s voice is enamouring and hypnotic. It’s so violent too. You’re lunged into friction burns and sports injuries, time and progression, the tensions between collectivity and individuality, family and sexuality, or as Fence put it, ‘lesbian eros’. This piece felt acidic. At times you can’t tell if the ‘I’ is indifferent or hurting to the point of numbness. It straddles so many different thematics, and breaks down a lot of conventions pertaining to the “ideal experience” of family relationships and team work. The resolution seems to be that in spite of people, our collectivity is defined by our collective solitude. This essay kicked me around a football field. It takes a good few repeated reads to appreciate its kaleidoscopic shifting, but it’s definitely one of my favourites.

The Midnight Gospel, from Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell, Netflix: (RECOMMEND) So the other day my friend Ben linked this to me and I had seen the trailer ages back and thought “Oh yeah I really wanna watch that”, but just forgot. After his reminder, I started watching it and ever since I’ve been saying to loads of other friends “Have you watched ‘The Midnight Gospel’ on Netflix?” because I’m d y i n g to talk about it with everybody.

I literally can’t categorise this “TV show” to you. It’s like if animation had a baby with a philosophy podcast and then put that baby onto an IV drip of psychedelics. It’s this swarm of different stimuli which you kind have to zone in on and absorb individually and yet somehow collectively.

So like, “Clancy” is a spacecaster who sets up “spacecasts” (podcasts) with creatures from other simulated worlds and he interviews them. But when Clancy transports himself into these worlds, it’s not like they’re sat down on some cream sofa with two glasses of water like it’s animated Oprah. No, his interviewees are like in the middle of fighting off a zombie apocalypse or meditating on a mountain or trying to find and save their lost lover. And Clancy just joins them on the journey and interviews them about their “specialism”. These are real people that are being interviewed like, the first episode is with Dr. Drew Pinker. And when you’re watching it, you think that the animation is totally separate to the conversation exchange the characters are having, but that’s not true. They have intersections, they have meaning. It only becomes obvious that it has meaning right at the end of each episode, but if you lock on you’ll see it’s all relevant throughout.

One of my friends was like “Oh I might stick that on tonight and have a joint” and I was like, don’t fucking get high when you’re watching this because it’s already intense enough as it is, like you know that Pendleton Ward and Duncan Trussell have felt some real shit to create this absolute rare jewel. In my opinion, you don’t need cannabis to appreciate these discussions. But if you wanna do it, then hey it’s a “free country”. And it’s not as though there’s a serious, central core plot like there is with Rick & Morty, I mean there is a kind of overarching plot but it’s not always integral. Like ultimately we’re invested in Clancy’s story but also all the stories of all the other people that come his way. There’s multiple plots, there’s multiple dimensions and ways of seeing. It’s a programme which delivers on multiplicity, which manifests itself in everything and everyone we see and know and touch and hear, etc, etc.

This production articulates some of the revelations that psychedelics can give you. Psychedelics don’t make you see the world literally like these animations do, but the sensations of the animation are reminiscent of an acid trip’s oscillating moods and sensitivities. It’s really cool, and it’s very poignant, and it’s my new favourite show to watch. And what’s so great about it is that, it requires multiple watches in order to really absorb everything in its entirety, so it’s a series you can just keep going back to even after you’ve seen them all. It’s re-watchable. Just fundamental goodness all round. Best way to indulge in it is with ice cream. 🍨

***

So that’s it for this week, next Friday’s review is Annie Ernaux’s A Girl’s Story translated by Alison L. Strayer, published with Fitzcarraldo Editions.

Stay safe and well as always, my little caramels. 💁🏽

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og-peach · 6 years ago

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I got this anon in my ask box that was extraordinarily angry and spiteful and full of vitriol. They insulted myself and several others in their anon, as well as tried to tear down my self-confidence by comparing me to more popular blogs and then calling me a freak. I considered attaching this to the anon and posting it so you all could see the what I am commenting on, but decided not to as I don’t want the other people they decided to rage on to possibly get hurt by it. So you get the gist of what it said, it can basically be summed up to “your blog sucks, your friends suck, your name sucks, you suck, you wish you were as cool as these people but you’re not, you are a freak.” On the off chance anyone legitimately wants to know their exact wording, pm me, and I’ll send you a screenshot.

I thought about how I wanted to respond, and decided to wait to respond so I don’t say something rash out of anger that I’ll regret later. I know you shouldn’t respond to anons like these, but then I thought about the other people who might also get anons like this and take them to heart, how I might have felt if I’d gotten this when I had shit self-esteem, so I wanted to write this post because of that. So hello, angry-anon, here’s what I have to say to you.

First of all, wow, really? Did that help? Do you feel better? Did attempting to tear me down make you feel better about yourself? I hope it did, cause it did absolutely shit for me.

Second, you seem to be under the impression that I think I’m better than you. While I do consider myself above asinine posts like the one you sent me, I don’t consider myself inherently better than anyone. I’m socially awkward, weird, completely oblivious at times, and frankly a mess. I am by NO means better than anyone, and I acknowledge and accept that.

I also don’t think my blog having some popularity makes me special. Frankly, I’m not sure why these people are following me. When I made this blog I expected like, 2 people to actually follow me, and that’s cause I was already interacting with them semi-regularly when I was biggest-gaudiest-fish’s peach anon. That’s where my name comes from, by the way; bgf gave it to me when I was THEIR anon, since I was the first of several anons that started sending them peach emojis and I decided to keep it when I made this blog. I don’t actually think I’m some sort of gangster or anything. That all being said, I have said before and I’ll say it again, I am greatful for every single one of my followers, beyond what I can say. I appreciate those who think my silly ramblings are worth following and responding to, more than words can express.

Third, let’s address your complaint about my blog itself. If you don’t like my blog, I’m not gonna make you stay. There are multiple ways to leave my blog depending on the device you’re using and the method you accessed my blog, use them. Hell, if you REALLY don’t like me, block me and you won’t ever see my posts again. I don’t demand your patronage, and after your rather appalling post I rather don’t want it. There are “close to 441.4 million blog accounts” out there, I more than welcome you to peruse the other ones to your heart’s content. Simply because you don’t like my blog DOES NOT give you the right to try and tear me down. It gives you the right to leave and move on.

Fourth, the fact that you posted this as an anon, and thus took any possibility of an actual conversation and discourse away, completely takes any weight away from your words. If you want me to seriously consider your complaints, vague and nonspecific as they currently are, talk to me in a manner I can repeatedly respond to. Post in a way I can post back and know you will see it and can respond to it in kind. Respond to this post with another post or a comment, do a regular ask that isn’t as an anon, make a post on your blog and mention me as @og-peach, or even do it over chat if you wanna do it in private (which I doubt, considering you used my ask, but hey, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt). Otherwise? I don’t care, and will forget you promptly.

Also, if you try to respond to this with another angry anonymous ask, I will immediately delete it and promptly forget it. There will be ZERO response from me a second time if you try this shit again. This goes for ANYONE who tries to pull this shit. Either say your complaints in a way I can respond to, or I’m ignoring you.

Fifth, if you have a complaint about me, don’t bring other people into it. There is absolutely NO reason to try to tear down those who interact with a person simply cause you don’t like the person they talk to. If you have a complaint with me, I am the only person you should be talking about. Period, end of sentence. No “if”s, “and”s, or “but”s.

I hope you read this angry anon. I hope you know that I read your vitriol and venom and walked away both unharmed and willing to have a honest discussion with you if you have the courage to initiate it. If you have a legitimate complaint beyond “you suck”, I’m willing to hear it. I can’t guarantee I’ll be willing to do something about it, cause I’m not gonna make myself someone I’m not in order to make others happy, but I’m willing to listen to what you have to say. But hey, at least you’ll have the chance to actually make a change, and I’ll have the chance to have an honest discussion. It’s win-win, angry-anon. So come on, indulge me! Take a leap!

No matter what you choose, wherever you are, I hope you have a great day and a good life angry-anon. Maybe then you won’t feel the need to tear down others to make yourself feel happy.

————————

To anyone that also gets post like these? They don’t matter. No matter what they say to you, they don’t matter. I know, I know, they are hurtful, and cruel, and vicious, and it can be awful. But guess what? The people that send them? They don’t have the courage to even message you in a way you can respond back. They are COWARDS, and you have proven to be stronger than them by virtue of actually putting yourselves out there with every post you make. The people who send you these hateful messages and don’t have the courage to actually let people respond to them are not the ones you should let hurt you, because they don’t matter. The only ones who should matter to you are those who love you, and treat you with respect. If they don’t do treat you right, then they don’t deserve you. You deserve better than the angry anons. Remember that.

All that being said, there is no shame in blocking those people out. If they are harassing your anons and you want it to stop, it’s perfectly alright to turn off anon asks. (You have to do it from a desktop browser, you can’t do it from your mobile app just yet.) Or just turn off your asks altogether if you need too. If people harass you and you know their username, feel free to report and block them. There is zero shame in taking care of yourself, and if that means cutting the hateful people out, then feel free to do so. Just cause I’m choosing to interact with an angry-anon doesn’t mean you have to.

— OG-peach

#anon #angry anon #straight talk

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chyeahlex16 · 6 years ago

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Since I am not spoiler free...

BOY have I got THINGS TO SAY

Spoilers down below, pls talk to me if you’ve seen the season!!

First of all, of the top of my head bc i just saw something that reminded me of it, can we just talk about those flashbacks???

That outfit that Texas Kogane was wearing-- correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what Keith dressed SHIRO in when they got him back in the first fucking episode of season one??? And the gloves??? Keith’s wearing his dad’s gloves???

And during the broganes flashbacks--Does that mean the hoverbike is Shiro’s and Keith took it over after he disappeared??

And can we talk about the Galran traits Keith had when he was fighting Clone Shiro? The eyes, maybe the teeth, and I think even the purple skin at one point?? Plus he’s apparently taller, ‘grizzlier’ and whatever else Lance called him lmao he ain’t slick pfft

Speaking of Lance, I find it hard to say things that aren’t complaints bc I really don’t want to complain about things this season. We were handed something that didn’t leave me 100% unhappy and unsatisfied, and I wanna take that with grace and not be all nitpicky and weird about. I feel like the more we complain and nitpick at it, the less we’ll encourage other potential shows that might wanna do what we ask for, if that makes sense? That’s not to say there aren’t things to complain about, (bc let’s be real........you know,,,,) , but maybe keep it to constructive criticism instead of verbal attacks? Maybe I’m just sensitive but a lot of the things I see are really..... aggressive. Tbh Idek why I’m saying this as if anyone important is gonna read it aslkdjalk ignore me i guess lol

Anyway, let’s talk about the good things with Lance! My boy got some screen time giving those orders!! Being in charge, giving out good plans, doing good things!! Offering encouragement and being stern and levelheaded when needed, all that good stuff. Yes, a bunch of his screen time was him being jealous of Lotor and Allura, but again, I’m tryna focus on the positives here. I’m so excited to see what happens when they go home!!!! I wanna see Lance’s family!! Wanna see him extend it around!!! Wanna see him welcome everyone into his home!! And he was so suave when he was playing as his character in the DND episode, that was great!

Speaking of the DND episode, it was actually really good I think! It made me laugh a bunch, and although it was a lot of comic relief and funny times... actually, I think that’s all it was... I’m v tired and the earlier episodes are blurring, ngl. Moving on! It was a good episode that made me laugh and showcased a lot of their strengths and abilities to work as a team, and I love the jokes they made about Shiro in it. Really humanized him and made him more like one of them, if that makes sense? I feel like he’s always been treated as Black Paladin, Leader of Voltron, Levelheaded Person At All Times, when, like, he’s a real person with lots emotions and joys too?? Ya know, a human, on the same level as the others. I feel like, as far as the show goes, he’s put on this pedestal and only taken down in rare moments, like the jokes in the DND ep and (only instance i can think of off the top of my head) the laser gun noises instance in s1.

AND SPEAKING OF SHIRO, CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THE ASTRAL PLANE SCENE WITH KEITH. His fucking explanation of what happened to me killed me. He said he DIED and I WANTED TO DIE. I’m very surprised by this season, it’s the only one to have made me almost cry in the span of like 3 episodes like this. Where emotions come in, this bitch really tried to go for it. They had me for a bit, ya know?? I laughed, I wanted to cry, I got angry and annoyed and irritated, the whole shebang, it did a good job of getting an okay range of emotions out.

Everyone else is talking about this too, but they made Keith look so good in this season??? Like, as a lesbian, I am surprised; they made my sons look amazing. And this sparked the need to complain about the Krolia scene continuation from “You’re my mom??” but. But. I am not going to complain (yet ). And I’m not going to reblog discourse either. I am not tryna be in the business of tearing down things that potentially make me happy. This season gave me moments of happiness. Sparse moments, but moments nonetheless. It left me hopeful for the next season bc let me be an honest bitch and say that I have no idea what’s gonna happen next. All I can say is I hope they don’t fuck it up.

For now, I think this concludes my bubbling thoughts on season 6 for the night/morning. It’s 3am and I am Tired. If you’ve made it this far on my ramblings, thanks for reading, I probs didn’t make much sense, pls come talk to me further about it!! Let’s gush!! And although I said I wasn’t about the complaining that doesn’t mean you can’t come into my messages to complain! I’m actually a fair bitch who will hear you out lol, we can discuss. But yeah. I look forward to all the art and fanfics that will come from this season, even tho I myself as a writer can’t think of anything I could write from this. It was kinda... dry of substance for my tastes. But after a few days of mulling it over, I’m sure something will come to me and many others.

I go slep now goonigh <333

EDIT: HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN THE FUCKING WOLF???? MY BOY HAD A PET AND I NEVER EVEN LEARNED ITS NAME BUT I LOVED THAT MONTAGE OF BONDING BETWEEN THEM, MAY IT BE LOYAL AS FUCK TO HIM

#longpost #vld s6 #vld spoilers #vld s6 spoilers #my rambling thoughts #chacha speaks

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meusyou-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Discovering Me

I haven’t posted in a while. Things got too busy, but something has changed since the last post. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and the most important thing I’ve learned has to do with this month, Pride Month.

Buckle up. This will be a long ride. But don’t worry. There will be a tl;dr at the bottom.

CW: Discussion of Erasure, Discourse, brief discussion of rape (#6 on lists), some foul language, let me know if I missed anything.

This past year, I learned that I am asexual. Not only am I asexual, but I’m questioning my romantic orientation. Maybe I’m heteroromantic, and maybe I’m biromantic. Questioning is what started my journey to discovering my asexuality, so I’m embracing this next step in my journey, to fight against my internalized behavior and view on certain subjects and break free to discovering me. But this post isn’t so much about that. That will be a different post, maybe tomorrow or maybe next year. Who knows. Discovering Me Part 2 is on the way.

This post is about my experience within my first year of embracing Asexuality. No one else, though part of my observations have included many people within the Asexual community. If you want to skip this paragraph, feel free, but this is a quick summary of the discovery process. Many moons ago (cheap way to get out of actually having the figure out the years) I met one of my closest friends on a website. We began discussing many subjects, and eventually landed on the subject of sexuality. It was at this point that I learned what Asexuality was. It was the first time I’d ever heard of it. Outside of biology, of course. I had so much to learn, and in learning, I discovered that we had a lot in common. It took me years to figure out that this was because I was, in fact, asexual. My whole life, I’ve been asexual, and never knew.

Since coming out as Asexual, I’ve never felt better about myself. I’ve learned that there is nothing wrong with me, because there are others like me and I am valid. It’s okay to not feel sexual attraction and it’s okay to not want to engage in sexual activities. Even more so, sexuality is a spectrum and one can be fluid. It’s now my belief that sexual and romantic orientation can be static or fluid equally, and it depends on the individual.

Now, the reason for this post. It’s the end of Pride Month. My first Pride Month. I was so happy to be me, and I was so happy to be able to celebrate with the other Aces I’ve met through group pages on Tumblr and Facebook. There was a lot of positivity for each other in these groups. But what I found outside of them?

Quite frankly, a lot of the behavior has been disgraceful.

Now wait. I’m sure there are plenty of people already writing responses to say how I’m ‘making something out of nothing’ or ‘trying to play the victim.’ Hell, I’m sure there are people who already stopped reading to tell me how I’m not valid. But see, that’s the point of this post.

Let me list a few things I’ve learned this month about Asexuality specifically. If I talked about everything, this would be the longest post ever, and no one is going to read it anyway so I might as well just cover the one thing. I may or may not agree with these things, we’ll get to that later. This is just a list of what I’ve observed. I will edit as necessary.

1. Asexuals are not oppressed.

2. Asexuality isn’t a real sexuality.

3. Cisgender, Heteroromantic Asexuals do not belong in the LGBTQIA+ community.

4. Asexuals likely suffer from something (trauma, low libido, blahblahBLAHblahblah, what have you...)

5. Asexuals, by creating their own community, are threatening the LGBTQIA+ community.

6. The use of the term “Corrective Rape” is inappropriate and an insult to lesbians for which the term was originally used.

These were the biggest ones. There were others, and if anyone is reading this, please feel free to continue this list if you like. Discussion is the point. Also, before we continue, yes, I know not all LGBTQIA+. We have a ton of supporters in the community, and we’re all aware and grateful for the support, just as you are of your supporters. But the others. Those who don’t support. They often have the loudest voices. I’m sure you know.

Now, I’m not trying to overshadow anyone else’s problems. Trans and Bisexuals in the community are getting a lot of hate from the community as well. I recognize and understand that. Most of us in the Asexual community do. So let’s just start with one easy fact we can all agree on, yes?

For most of us, we feel we were born this way. Of course, other situations can play into our current orientations. But most of us believe that the way we are is the way we’ve always been, at least to some degree. That’s part of the joy of being ‘out,’ isn’t it? So I can’t blame a gay man for only liking men in that manner. Nor can I blame a trans woman for being a woman. No one can blame me for not feeling sexual attraction, or a demisexual for only feeling sexual attraction after creating a strong emotional bond. See, sexuality and romantic orientation are almost impossible to lump into groups. Everyone has a different experience, and that’s why spectrums exist. We need to respect that while someone is under an umbrella term, they may not identify entirely with the majority. One small change is all it takes to be viewed as an outsider. Or at least that’s what I have observed. All sexualities are valid. This does not include anything outside of sexual attraction, though. Do not be confused, and do not tell me pedophiles belong in the lgbtqia+ community. That is a different discussion. Moving on. Let’s talk about the list.

1. Asexuals are not oppressed. Wrong. NOW WAIT! Before you start typing away, here’s why: Oppression comes in many shapes and sizes. No one is saying we are getting killed in the streets during daytime because we don’t feel sexual attraction. Literally no one, and I’ve been looking. We are not comparing ourselves to other members of the community. We are not systematically oppressed. Sure. But we are oppressed to some degree (This is not to say we are oppressed by outside hate groups). Oppression isn’t a race to the finish line. It’s not a ‘who has it worse’ game. Oppression sucks no matter how much you experience. Telling me that I have never been called an abomination just walking down the street, so that doesn’t make me a member of the community, is the most ridiculous fucking thing I’ve ever heard. “Did you get threatened today? I did. Out with you!” Hi. I have news for you. Perhaps we are not getting death threats from as many straight people as you. But guess what? If you’re about to type in the comments “If you’re not systemically oppressed, you don’t belong in the community,” Many people would say YOU’RE THE OPPRESSOR HI HELLO.

We want other people who AREN’T THE SAME AS US to say “Hi. You’re Asexual? That’s neat. I’m ____. Wanna be friends?” Instead of “Hi. You’re Asexual? Here’s why you’re not.” This, friends, is erasure. It takes many forms, but this one is pretty common. “Oh you just have a low libido/you haven’t met the right person yet/have you tried having sex/etc.” Basically, people are telling us our sexuality is not valid, and more of a ‘phase’ that can be ‘cured’ in some shape or form. Is erasure oppression? A little bit, I’d think. Doesn’t it sound familiar? I mostly think that because other groups have brought up their own erasure as a form of oppression in the past. So....? Let’s move forward.

I’m going to bring number 6 up as it’s own, so have patience. We’re gonna skip right over to the community here. We covered erasure. Let’s next talk about the definition of Oppression. Feel free to look it up on google. Here are some keywords/phrases: Burdened by troubles, adverse conditions, anxiety, etc. The exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner.

Oh, Tumblr. How guilty you are. Not just you, of course, but let’s just jump right into the toxicity of many loud bloggers. Cisgender Heteromantic Asexuals often experience not only erasure but straight up bullying. Yes ladies and gents and those in between, cyber bullying. This is not my main blog. This is my ‘who cares what anyone else reads or says of mine’ blog. I have been told I don’t exist. I have been told I don’t belong. I have been told I don’t belong in the community. I have been told I must be a bad girlfriend, unable to provide. I have been told I will never find love, and will die alone. What was that definition again? The exercise of authority or power in a what manner? Get this! most often than not, I am not asked my romantic orientation. I am not given a chance to say “I currently identify as heterosexual, but I’m questioning if I may be bisexual.” That is an afterthought, after all the acid has been spewed.

I have been told I just need a good lay to be normal. I have been the butt of jokes, because being Asexual is apparently funny. I have been coerced into sexual activities with their partners, even though I didn’t want to. I have been told that I can be ‘fixed’ if I just open up to a therapist (which, btw, for those who don’t know, I’ve been told multiple times that Asexuality was considered a mental illness until like 2013). I have been told, many times, that I should just ‘kill myself’. Not only by straight people. That’s right. Members of the community. All of these Ace Hate pages? Yes, hello, welcome to the party. You are the oppressors!

I also want to point out that, again, everything is a spectrum. There are Cisgender HETEROROMANTIC Bisexuals. It happens. There are Cisgender Heteroromantic Homosexuals who may choose not to identify as bisexual, and that is their choice. So what makes me straight if I identify as a Cisgender Heteroromantic Asexual? That is not heteronormative.

2. Asexuality isn’t a real sexuality. Well, maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I’m not the authority on this, and you sure as hell aren’t either. I didn’t sign up for this. But let’s talk about sexuality. When we label our sexuality, we are effectively saying “this gets me going.” We’re saying I am sexually attracted to ____. So Asexuals are saying “I am sexually attracted to nothing.” Now, that’s a generalization because again, spectrum, but you get the idea. So maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s just a name for nothing. But where it gets tricky is when we talk about sex-positivity, sex-neutrality, and sex-repulsivity. These are a part of the spectrum of Asexuality, and I’m sure you’re all smart enough to figure out what it means. Basically, you either view sex positively and may like to participate, you don’t care either way, or sex is gross for whatever reason. Everyone perceives sex differently. That’s okay. I think by saying Asexual isn’t a real sexuality, people are erasing that some Asexuals do actually have sex. I don’t know. Could just be me. Either way, I consider Asexuality a real sexuality, because otherwise, I am nothing. I’m not straight. Just a bit of space dust on a rock. :)

3. Cisgender, Heteroromantic Asexuals do not belong in the community. Why? If you read the last couple paragraphs for my explanation of number 1, as well as my response to number 2, this shouldn’t still be an argument. Let’s discuss what it means to be straight. You must be 3 things to be straight. 1) Cisgender. Check. I bring this up because, while it has been pointed out this is a transphobic statement (which is not my intention,) it is used in arguments literally all the time against asexuals, and therefore, it is only my observation that people are using this to reinforce being ‘straight’. Many people in the community are cisgendered, so watch out! You could be straight, too! Hold on, calm down, two more to go. 2) Heteroromantic. Check(ish?). Phew, some of you are safe! But, still, not all. See, as I stated above, being a certain orientation sexually is not always mirrored romantically. For instance, and this is a real person I know, I have a Heteroromantic friend who is quite Bisexual. There’s totally nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s great. Because, again, spectrum. So look out! You’re not all safe yet! Here we go.....drumroll....3) Heterosexual. Ouch! Missed by one. How’d everyone else do? If you said yes to all 3, you’re straight! If not, guess what! You’re not! And that’s awesome. Everything is awesome. Be who you are proudly! But most of all, stop shitting on everyone else. Now, I understand some straight people are shitty. But some people in the community can be just as shitty. Please see my response to number 1. ;) Basically, if you ain’t straight, you’re in the community, friend! It’s based off of an early principle of the community - You are welcome if you fall outside of heteronormativity.

4. Asexuality is likely a result of abuse, trauma, illness, etc... Okay so most of the time I hear this from straight people. I’m not surprised. It’s okay to not understand something. But know when to listen and have an open mind. At the end of the day, you need to stay in your lane. It’s cool. It’s a learning process.

Now, for community members who say this. Are you for real? Don’t you remember when people were saying that about you? Treating your orientations as a phase? Telling you it must be from all that abuse, or because mommy let you join choir instead of football, or daddy didn’t let you date? Don’t you remember when everyone thought it was a mental illness? They still say it! You’re still hearing it! Or have you forgotten so quickly? Why do you say this to us? And for those of us for which this statement is true, why in hell does this make us less valid? Whether it was the result of abuse, trauma, etc., or not, it’s not your job to tell us why we are the way we are. Instead of shaming us for the result, try welcoming us and treating us as friends. Again, we’re not getting killed in the streets. No, I don’t fear for my life because I say I’m Asexual. But our emotions are valid, and emotional trauma as well as physical trauma is tragic when happening to anyone. Just because asexuality =/= death (yet, since it’s still barely known who knows what could happen), doesn’t mean we don’t need a space. It’s a smaller space. We’re fine with that.

5. Asexual communities are a threat to LGBTQIA+ communities. How? Somewhere I read that Asexuals currently make up less than 1% of the population. Maybe that number just came out of someone’s ass, but we’re definitely a minority. I know 2 people irl who identify on the Asexual spectrum. 2. In 25 years of living. Honestly, who knows how many of us are out there, because many people don’t even know what Asexuality is yet, as evidenced by the “you can’t reproduce by yourself” messages some Ace groups get. They’re quite funny. Anyway, yes. We have our own community. It is the Ace community. Are you Ace? You’re in the community. Welcome. Are you Trans? You’re in the Trans community. Are you Gay? You’re in the Gay community. See how this works? And, are you not straight? Welcome. You are in the LGBTQIA+ community.

Nay-sayers have been telling us to create our own community since we’ve been vocal about our sexuality. “You don’t belong here. If you want a safe space, make your own.” We made our community a little more solid. “How dare you try to overshadow us and steal our resources!” Okay. You’re ridiculous.

The fact of the matter is, you’re not going to be happy so long as we exist. It’s a lonely world out there, especially when you feel like you don’t belong. Or did you not experience that? Must be nice. Maybe you’ve forgotten. No one understands us completely except for other people like us. So of COURSE we have a community. Just like you do. It’s nice. It helps us feel valid. It’s a support system for when something else in our life falls to hell because, surprise, we’re not ‘normal’. But we’re so. small. We want to be part of something bigger so that we can feel accepted and bond over our shared experiences, instead of being reminded of how we’re different. Isn’t that what you wanted? Did you forget?

One last note on this. I have seen a LOT of arguments about whether or not the A stands for Ally or Asexual, or both (I mean, the Q is Queer or Questioning, right?) but some people (in and out of our community) feel that straight allies receive less push back than asexuals in the community. Strange. Now, I haven’t seen this because I steer clear of most LGBTQIA+ events. Why? Well I would love to participate, but I’m afraid of being harassed by people who think I don’t belong. So I can show up as an Ally, but I can’t show up as an Asexual? What if I want to be an Ally? I want to help your fight. It’s awful what happens to you. I can’t be, because I’m Asexual? Because I’m not going to keep my Asexuality to myself. I’m proud of my Asexuality. So evidently, I can’t be both. Isn’t the community about several smaller communities coming together to fight for rights and visibility? If the Asexual community wants to join your fight and help the larger community, why is that so terrible?

6. Corrective Rape is a term that was created specifically for Lesbians is how this was first put to me. I nearly choked on air. Yes, Lesbians and female bisexuals (males as well? Let me know if this is the case-) are treated horribly by many societies. Yes, they are raped to teach them the ‘correct’ way to be. It’s disgusting. Everyone knows it’s disgusting, and as a woman who was assaulted in a very different situation, I can tell you firsthand it’s one of the worst things that can happen to a human being.

I have a story that some of you may not want to read, so skip this if you feel you may get upset. It involves a woman who is Asexual, and a man who is not. The woman trusts this man. He is a father, or brother, or relative, or husband, or date, or stranger. This woman tells this man that she does not feel sexual attraction. Maybe she needed to tell someone. Maybe she needed to tell him so he didn’t create expectations. Maybe she’s just very open about herself and very proud of who she is. Then, this man laughs at her and tells her she’s silly. He tells her she just hasn’t had a good fuck. She becomes offended, and tries to explain her sexuality, but he continues to laugh at her and says he knows how to ‘fix’ her. Maybe he tries.

Get the picture? I won’t continue. We all know what happens next. What does that sound like, to you? Does it sound like a normal rape story? Sure. Except for one keyword. Fix. What about if the man suddenly became irrationally angry? Does that make it more convincing? That happens, too. Either way, in some way or another, it is done with the goal to ‘fix’ her. Or him. Or them. Whoever it may be in this story. Because there are a million different ways this story could go. So tell me. What does this sound like to you? Does it sound like rape with the purpose of correcting?

Some people argue that the term was ‘coined’ (as was said to me) for Lesbians. But this term is describing an event. Look up the definition. Whether or not that is the case, this is the best way to describe this situation. And it happens. Like it or not, you can’t change that. No one can. And to look someone in the face and say that despite your experiences, you’re not valid?

Like it or not, if someone is not Cisgender, Heteroromantic, and Heterosexual all at the same time, they are not straight. That is what straight is. You can’t change that definition to *gasp* exclude someone. It’s not your job. This community is about providing a safe space, for everyone to feel welcome and included because we don’t fit in with straight people. Yes, some groups experience more dangerous oppression than others, and they deserve all the resources they require. Yes, other groups needs to recognize when they do not need certain resources. But we all need to realize that oppression in any form is toxic. It is painful, and we could all use love and acceptance. This is working together to understand that we all hurt, but some of us are privileged in being able to have only emotional hurt, instead of physical and emotional hurt. That doesn’t make the hurt less valid. Ever. But it certainly means we have a space, and we need to stay in it. Everyone in the community should be of this mindset: “Come in, join us. You belong somewhere. You are valid. Here is your space. Please stay in your space.” This is working together to create a better community than we left. A better community than the one that rejected us all.

Happy Pride Month, everyone. I’m PROUD to be a Cisgender, Heteroromanticish Asexual, and I am PROUD to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community!

TL;DR:

You know what? I can’t condense that. It’s all too important. But I WILL leave a reminder: I am but one person speaking on my own about things I have observed in and out of the community. These are my thoughts as it stands, and of course are subject to change. I am open to discussion, and more than willing to learn more about other people’s experiences.

Finally, most of this post WAS aimed at the minority. Most people in the community do not sit around and hate on Asexuals. I said it earlier and I will say it again and again. But hopefully this post was informative for somebody.

#asexual #pride #pride month #lgbtqia #oppression #ace #ace discourse #ace erasure #ace pride

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sophygurl · 7 years ago

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Navigating Body Image While Genderqueer / Genderfluid / Non-Binary - WisCon 41 panel write-up

These get long to click the clicky to read.

Disclaimers:

I hand write these notes and am prone to missing things, skipping things, writing things down wrong, misreading my own handwriting, and making other mistakes. So this is by no means a full transcript.

Corrections, additions, and clarifications are most welcome. I’ve done my best to get people’s pronouns and other identifiers correct, but please do let me know if I’ve messed any up. Corrections and such can be made publicly or privately on any of the sites I’m sharing these write-ups on(tumblr and dreamwidth for full writings, facebook and twitter for links), and I will correct ASAP.

My policy is to identify panelists by the names written in the programming book since that’s what they’ve chosen to be publicly known as. If you’re one of the panelists and would prefer something else - let me know and I’ll change it right away.

For audience comments, I will only say general “audience member” kind of identifier unless the individual requests to be named.

Any personal notes or comments I make will be added in like this [I disagree because blah] - showing this was not part of the panel vs. something like “and then I spoke up and said blah” to show I actually added to the panel at the time.

Navigating Body Image While Genderqueer / Genderfluid / Non-Binary

Moderator: Theo Nicole Lorenz. Panelists: Lee Bauersouth, Sam Einhorn, Jack Evans, Kris Mayer, Mo Ranyart

#NavigateGNCBodyImage for the livetweets and such

[I feel like I’ve both moderated and been on a version of this panel in past years, so it was neat to just be in the audience this time. Also - while looking around me at the panelists and my fellow audience members while waiting for the panel to start, my internal monologue was just a bouncy repetition of the word “Gender! Gender! Gender!” because IDK folks, I just adore gender and it’s many permutations and discussions of it all.]

Theo began the panel by acknowledging that the panelists were mostly white AFAB folk and that they wanted to invite other perspectives to join them. They also said everyone uses their own language for their own bodies and identities and if people use any words that make you feel uncomfortable, you should do what you need to take care of yourselves and no one will judge you for leaving if you need to.

Jack, referencing pre-panel joking around, introduced themselves by saying “I am goat, and I’m a goat.” Then seriously added that they are a non-binary trans man - but kinda wooshy-washy about it. They added that, as Theo’s assistant, the two talk about gender a lot.

Sam began their intro with “I am Sam and I am *not* a goat”, and then added that they are genderqueer or maybe non-binary - they have trouble figuring it out. But mostly ID as a genderqueer butch person depending somewhat on the day.

Sam also talked about how they discovered all of this gender stuff around the time as discovering fat acceptance movement and wanted to talk about how those two things informed each other.

Lee’s introduction began with “I’m questioning if I’m a goat or not...” - then worried some about if they’d offended anyone by calling themselves a goat and added “This is SO Sunday.” Lee introduced themselves as actually being agender, which they consider to be under the umbrella of genderqueer.

Lee added that genderqueer and gender dysphoria are not a circle but a venn diagram and said “I’m in that sliver.”

Mo left off the goat-joke intro and introduced themselves as being a femme non-binary trans dude - sort of. They also talked about fat activism in addition to having a history with an eating disorder. They said that they do have trans-related body dysphoria.

Kris introduced themselves as non-binary and butch - mainly due to how they are read by society. They added that internally, they feel like there are rules to butchness and they don’t follow them, so they don’t necessarily identify as butch. They also talked about how we often worry about doing gender right - even as we tell others and ourselves that there is no right or wrong to how to do gender.

Lee added that they forgot in their intro to say that they are also coming at this topic from the perspective of a professional therapist.

Theo began their introduction with “I describe my identity as .... oh gosh... non-binary or agender or both?” They also said that they are stepping their toe tentatively into the trans pool and it kind of fits for them.

Theo, author/artist of the coloring book Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace, created it while still thinking they were a cis woman. After discovering genderqueerness, they realized this thing they created for body positivity no longer fit for their own body. This was a loss to Theo.

Theo then posed the question to the panelists - how has your relationship with body acceptance changed since realizing you’re not cis, and what do you need out of body acceptance movements now?

Jack acknowledged how Theo’s example was a loss, but for Jack there was something they gained when realizing they weren’t cis. It was so freeing because they suddenly didn’t have to fit a model of what a man or woman should be. But Then they started the transitioning process and felt they had to be more serious and conform again, which was hard.

Sam said they really didn’t know about trans, genderqueer, etc. for a long time. They discovered gender discourse and fat positivity around the same time. They were finding it was okay to be butch but not fat on the one hand, on the other in the fat pos. movement there were all of these expectations around femininity. So these two parts of Sam’s identity were constantly criss-crossing.

Lee talked about coming from the angle of chronic health conditions and the disability acceptance movements. They were being told to celebrate being a woman while having 9 week painful periods. They were being told to nourish their body while thinking - no, my body’s an asshole. They had an ablation, which they described as “I had my uterus electrocuted to send a message to my other organs”.

Lee discussed the frustrations of feeling weaker and being treated as a delicate flower and how that made them want to find some plaid real quick. [I found myself nodding vehemently to this - nothing makes me wanna butch up more than getting sympathy for my chronic health issues]

Mo talked about having issues with “body positivity” - it felt like this was just a way to say it’s not okay to be fat but let’s celebrate other bodies! They talked about how “love your body” can feel like a kick in the teeth and loving one’s body can be really hard for some people. What about a truce instead? Can I have a friendly acquaintance with my body?

Mo also asked - can you be not-a-woman and be part of the fat acceptance movement? They had difficulty finding space for non-binary bodies in body acceptance. Instead of being part of the larger group, they’ve found smaller groups of people just huddling together.

It can be hard to get all intersections covered so these movements need to be much larger and much more inclusive.

Kris posed the question of - what if there are parts of my body I don’t want to make peace with? They talked about feeling violent towards certain body parts. When complaining about menstruation, they were told that it was a spectral of the goddess. They replied - no deity owns a part of my body.

Kris also talked about having dysphoria around their breasts. Am I allowed to say I don’t want to be positive about this?

Theo discussed how they were able to get top surgery and how that decreased their feelings of violence with their body. Post-surgery, Theo thought - “I hope they’re happy wherever they are now - maybe on a farm upstate somewhere - frolicking with all of the other breasts.” [I about bust a gut laughing - and had to share this with my friend who is about to have a double mastectomy because we’ve been making all sorts of jokes about her breasts post-surgery. Now we get to imagine them out there in a field romping around with other boobs - thanks Theo!! lol]

Theo posed the next question for the panelists - what do we need from these movements?

Lee answered with acceptance of the fact that chronic pain is not something they’re going to love. They compared their pain to a large dog shredding the sofa continuously and saying - “look, I’m trying to take care of you but you’re not making it easy! But if I stop taking care of you - you’ll crap on the bed.” [yes yes yes]

Jack answered - inclusion of all intersections. They talked about how they got into power lifting in order to build up masculine strength but then realized that health issues meant some days they couldn’t even lift a pencil. They don’t see many examples of trans guys like themselves.

Sam answered with more acceptance of different kinds of bodies - not just size related but gender, and other differences. The importance of not only letting these other kinds of bodies be there in the movements, but of actually making space for and including/welcoming them as well.

Mo talked about the problems with body acceptance focusing on the line of thinking like “you, too, can be attractive!” That’s good, but it’s not the whole thing. You should not have to love or accept parts of your body that are causing you actual harm or trauma, pain, dysphoria, etc.

Mo also talked about things like “info for all the ladies out there” and being - what about me? Can that be for me too? Mo just wants more general awareness that not all people are like you - is that a big ask? It feels like it some days.

Kris brought up the decentering of attractiveness in these movements. Prioritizing beauty when not all of us are going to or even want to fit societal beauty norms. [wow this sent a lightbulb off in my head so big! need to think/write more about this myself]

Theo talked about more acceptance of bodies in liminal spaces. Bodies in transition are often treated like an unbaked cookie - someone adds in that those can be tasty so the panel finally settled on uncooked waffles as the analogy. So this uncooked waffle is treated like - well, you have potential to be something cool. What if I already feel done though? What if I’ve transitioned as much as I plan to? What if I don’t want to be fully cooked?

Lee gave an example of a friend with many complicated health issues who was able to get phalloplasty but can’t take T - so there are some parts of the transition process they could and couldn’t do.

Jack added that in that example, the person had the phalloplasty without having a vaginectomy - they wanted to add that so that folks would know you could do it that way.

Mo talked about ways in which non-binary becomes it’s own box to fill in next to Male or Female instead of being an opt-out altogether. Often the idea of non-binary that people carry with them is an androgynous thin person in men’s clothing that’s tailored for people with breasts. And that’s great that those kind of clothes are being made and people who fit that archetype can find acceptance - but that’s not all that being non-binary is or all that non-binary clothing can be.

Kris talked about how they identified as genderqueer for a decade but then switched to non-binary because it felt like a shrug when it comes to gender. For years, Kris chased masculinity as the only model they knew. Now, they are having fun with nail polish and earrings. They added they get most of their accessories from Claire’s because inside they feel like their gender is a 13 year old girl. (Several panelists agreed with this notion for themselves)

Kris added that since exploring more of this feminine side, they find themselves worrying about outside perception of their gender - am I still non-binary enough? Trans enough?

Theo also related to the idea of chasing masculinity. They said they’re much happier since feeling more comfortable playing with femininity.

Jack brought up sex positivity for a variety of different bodies - especially intersex bodies and for trans people who haven’t had “The Surgery.”

Theo posed the question of where they’ve found what they needed as far as body acceptance and all of the panelists said at WisCon [me toooooo :)]

Theo also talked about finding a photo, on a website where there were hundreds of photos of trans bodies. This one photo looked like Theo’s body and the person in the photo looked so happy and free with their body and it really helped Theo to feel more acceptance and hope for themselves.

Sam discussed how getting positive reinforcement on twitter about both their gender exploration and their fatness has helped. This was Sam’s first WisCon and seeing so many people who look like them was also very powerful. Most of their friends don’t share all of their intersections.

Jack reiterated what Sam said and added that they need WisCon for their soul - just to be with people like themselves. Jack then talked about how they didn’t use makeup until they came out as trans - it became more of a choice to them then. They started sharing selfies and got positive feedback and that helped too.

Mo also talked about how taking selfies has helped them. In particular, it’s helped them to gain a greater sense of themselves. Between the gender dysphoria and eating disorder, Mo spent a lot of time not knowing how their own body looked. The first time Mo shared a selfie online, they almost threw up. Then they got home and had 20 positive comments. So they kept trying to do it and have recently realized that they no longer feel sick when doing so.

Mo also added that having good sexual experiences with people who are not assholes has helped. [I had some *feels* here]

Kris discussed the difficulty they’ve had in finding a network of friends, but they rely on support from friends online. They also feel lucky to have genuine family support.

Lee said - I guess I lied earlier. (Theo asked - so you ARE a goat?) Lee clarified that when they said earlier that they didn’t have any dysphoria, they’ve realized that they do have some around their breasts.

[At this point, I became triggered by something said and stopped taking notes. This was through no fault of any of the panelists btw - they were only speaking from their own experiences but it was upsetting to me based on stuff going on in my own life so I closed my notebook and just listened to the rest of the panel, which was still really great and I’m sorry I didn’t get it all down. However, do check the hashtag for the panel for much more that I didn’t get! #NavigateGNCBodyImage]

#navigategncbodyimage #wiscon #wiscon 41 #wiscon41 #wc41 #body image #genderqueer #genderfluid #non-binary #gender

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