#but if you feel like where you are is too strong then it's easy to gather yourself and figure out what to do

[bunny-jpeg]

soft coat

fernando alonso

tags: smut/pwp, selkie au, selkie!reader, divorced!fernando, pregnancy, pregnant!reader, cowgirl position, loving

a/n: i'm writing a very long fic set in a selkie au, but this is just a little something for ya'll since the idea was so popular <3

"my love!" you heard fernando as you were outside. it was summer time and you were hanging up the laundry for the week. it had been nicer the last few days. it wouldn't be much longer before you had your pup. the swell to your middle was impressive, you were indefinably carrying a selkie pup.

he came down the steps and said, "your coat is dry inside." he approached you from where you were between the rows of clotheslines. he hung up your coat inside, your seal fur that you protected with your life. and fernando by extension protected it too. it was an extension of you. he placed it over your shoulders while you hung up one of his shirts. and got his arms around you, he felt your bump.

you had been more close to your coat since you got pregnant. it had been hard to transform from seal to human with another life inside of you. so your coat was a good way to feel closer to the sea while not being fully transformed. so fernando did everything he could to make sure that this entire process was comfortable for you.

"let me help you, you relax." he said softly to you. but you stayed close by. leaned down to hand him clothes and clothespins. he thought it was adorable as he finished up quickly. then the two of you went back inside.

you had met fernando over the previous summer. you had got yourself onto his boat and kept eating his fish. you were hungry and he was right there! and then slowly over time you grew closer to him until you showed him your human form. and from there you fell in love. now you were carrying his child.

and like how you lured him in, he lured you into the bedroom so he could make sure you were taking breaks and having rest. but once you got into the bedroom with your coat on the bed to get comfortable on top of. but you pulled your human husband close to you.

you were both laid on the fur with your hands on his bearded face and pressing a series of kisses along the tops of his cheeks. you made cute squeaky noises as you kissed him and he simply melted into your touch. his life had changed so much since you met, but he wouldn't have changed a single aspect of it. he loved that you were with him, that he had you to love.

you soon reached for the belt of his jeans and got it off while he worked his white t-shirt off of him. you kissed across his strong chest and he shuddered under your affection. his hand found your middle and he sighed contently.

"are you alright to do this, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do." he kept his hand on your middle and leaned in close to you, "i need to make sure you're okay."

you nodded before you took off your shorts and t-shirt (that belonged to fernando) and exposed more of your middle to him. your pregnant swell. and he placed both hands on your middle while you were both naked in your bedroom with the sunlight streaming through the large windows of your bedroom.

your lover laid out in your furs with you straddled his waist with your hands on his chest. you dug your nails into his pecs for a moment and licked your lips. he looked amazing. he was a fair bit older in human years, but technically you were older. your kind lived longer. you tensed up a little in anticipation before you sank down on his cock. you let out a sweet little moan.

he tensed up then relaxed. his hands remained at your middle as you rolled your hips. you were gentle, loving with your movements and it made him shudder with a certain want. you felt beautiful on top of him, you weren't going to have rough sex with him. not while you were this pregnant. you needed to be easy on your body, even with your abilities as a selkie. and fernando didn't want to hurt you either, he wanted to be gentle. make you feel good in his own way.

his hands roamed your body as he softly praised you, "my beautiful wife, the light of my life. you are so beautiful. even with my baby in your belly. a sign that i claimed you." he clutched your hips and made him shudder with want. he needed you more than anything. the creature he loved more than the sea and the sky.

"my world. my rock." you leaned in a little bit to kiss his face once more. your noises were sweet as you made love to your husband. you never thought you could meet a man like him, be in love with such a human. he alluring, he accepted your world and brought you into his and the product of that was the baby you carried. your pup.

pleasure continued through your body as you moved against him. you took control of your movements and let him feel every inch of you. you licked your lips at the sight of him. your lover, your husband. the human that made you learn to love. to accept affection.

he leaned up to kiss you, both hands on your swollen middle. promises of a future together, a happy sweet future with your family. you picked up the pace marginally. the rolling of your hips felt good on his cock.

he knew from the moment he met you, when you came onto his boat with a hunger, that you two would be close for a lifetime. and any time after. he rubbed your belly lovingly as he tried to meet your pace. you two were wrapped up in your little world, tucked into the shores. protected. you could raise your child in peace and love your husband. and he could love you. you'd never be alone again, not while fernando still breathed.

you two kissed one another deeply, your swollen mound was pressed between you two. but, it only made you two feel closer. he loved the feeling, the knowledge that he made you this way. that he was your first and only lover. the only one to ever have you in a sexual fashion. that was quite the title to have and fernando wore it with pride. he loved you, he loved every inch of you. you were such a curious woman and fernando wanted it all.

the two of you continued to make love on the bed. you continued to feel up one another as the two of you rutted against one another. there were soft words exchanged, promises of love and devotion. fernando loved you as deep as the oceans went. it was the pull in his chest.

"you looked beautiful." he said, "more beautiful than any woman. beautiful like the sea." he felt lost before he met you, after his wife left. he never though he'd find love again. but there you were, now on top of him as his hand explored your body. as he took in the beautiful feeling of your curves. his beautiful wife.

his selkie lover.

you felt the pleasure hit its peak inside of you. you felt the fire in your core that spread into your blood as you rode him through your climax. you made loud noises as you felt the pleasure hit through your body. you hissed and held onto his shoulders tightly. it only made him hold onto your hips tightly as the two of you made love. the climax felt amazing as he met your pace.

your beautiful lover with his dark eyes and smile that pulled you in. his expression shifted as he felt himself cum as well. he rolled up into you and game inside of you with a few more heavy thrusts. the feeling was intense and it left fernando with a achy need for his selkie wife. with you both reached climax, fernando felt up your body once more. he took in the feeling of you against him. he loved it, he loved you.

eventually you were laid out beside fernando and he held you close to him. your naked bodies on top of your coat. curled up against one another. eventually fernando moved down to kiss at your swollen middle with such a dedicated and love. a promise.

"i love you." he said

you replied softly as your breathing leveled out, "i love you too."

"i will keep you and our child safe, for as long as i can." he said as he kissed the soft skin. he loved you and he loved your baby. always.

-

fernando didn't know what to expect when he knew he was going to have a child with a selkie. he had heard the stories from folklore. but, when your daughter was born. she didn't have gills, fins or fur. she was just a plump little baby. your little mira.

curious brown eyes, and chubby cheeks. he looked quite a bit like fernando. but was smart just like her mother. you were close to the shore in the water now that the seasons were changing. you were cooing to your daughter and brought some of the sea water to her. you were wetting her cheeks, to get her used to the water that she'd come home.

you sang her soft songs of your kind. and fernando stay close to protect his wife and daughter. in his arms was your selkie coat. the biggest trust you could give. but, you were beyond establishing trust. you were his and he was yours, and your love produced a sweet baby girl. he admired you from behind and felt the love for you in his heart. down to his very core. his little world were in those waters and he'd always be there when you came back to shore <3

[metranart]

ft. Hawks, Dabi and Shoto x Reader. Raging Threesome influenced by the mating season, booze and secret obsessions. (teaser)

Dabi had noticed the subtle signs of your body as well as Hawks, even Shoto had. The way you pressed your thighs together, that little sway of your hips, that longing sigh, all firm signs that you were in a special and festive mood. Maybe the mix of alcohol, Christmas and your open mind could be a trigger for something interesting.

You bite your lip when you find all three Proheroes staring at you, hungry gazes that make you feel like you were naked, and that shyly provocative grin you give them back. Damn! It’s too sensual to be an accident, you just sealed your evening.

“I forgot something in my office," Keigo mutters under his breath, and his fists clench as he swiftly sneaks his body behind yours. If you didn’t get it before, you feel it now. He is hard, and he is grinding against your ass. You stiffen. 

“Uh… Keigo?” You ask in a squeak, but he doesn’t stop and instead begins to guide you where he wants, "would you come with to look for it?"

To his office again? You know what he wants, so you nod wondering if what he has in mind might cure the recent itch in your crotch. You barely manage to kiss the curve of his neck with a clumsy turn of your head and before you know it, you're already in the office of his Hero agency, the door locked behind you ... and before you know it, you're not alone in there.

“This room smells like sex,” Dabi spats, absentmindedly, slowly stripping off of his jacket suit, “… got any lube around, birdbrains?” 

“Sure, I think I have some in the bottom drawer." 

Dabi walks over to the drawer and starts searching through the items, while Hawks starts serving drinks as if it were a private party. With a casual stride, your boyfriend offers you a drink and it's only when you hear a sober 'thank you' that you realize Shoto is here too, drink in hand, stoic gaze in an invisible spot as he, Hawks and you awkwardly clink your glasses together before taking a sip of the aged whisky.

“Agh,” You stick your tongue out at the bitter, potent taste of the whiskey, "baby, it's too strong-"

"Just enough, darling." Dabi replies, stealing a sip from his brother's glass, and sipping it with a mischievous smile as his eyes stay on you. "The more spirited we are, the easier it will be to get comfortable, if you know what I mean.”

Hawks chuckles and although he tries to sound cool, you notice the note of nervousness in his voice, which he ends up defeating by gulping down the rest of the whiskey in his glass.

"He's right, (Y/N)." 

The whiskey takes effect on your boyfriend sooner than expected and his already rosy cheeks turn bright red, eyelids dropping a little, sensually, his eyes lock with yours as he strips off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor to start an awkward fight with the knot of his tie, effectively nullifying the sensuality of the striptease while making himself look incredibly adorable.

"Awwww," Dabi beams, sarcastically, "apparently daddy can't get undress without mommy helping him, do you mind, doll?"

You shake your head in amusement and Keigo's arms wrap around your waist in reflex as you begin to undo the knot of his tie, depositing whiskey kisses to each cheek, the tip of your nose, each side of your mouth, your forehead and eyelids. It’s all Keigo Takami, sweet and devoted while his naughty hands keep trying to lift up the skirt of your dress.

"I know I already said this,” Hawks spells a little drunkenly, “but you look incredibly sexy in this dress… guys?"

"Top tier," Dabi snaps with a smirk.

"Beautiful," Shoto joins as well, slapping his brother's hands away. The older Todoroki trying to undo the buttons of his shirt, "stop it, Touya.... I don't need your assistance-"

"Silence, pup. By the way, I think it is prudent to mention that my little brother here…. is still a rabid virgin, please treat him well."

"Touya!"

"Easy, baby bro." Dabi pushes Shoto until he crashes the edge of Hawks' desk and once out of earshot, he mutters just for him. "This is my Christmas present, Shoto," the half-and-half Todoroki stares at him suspiciously and Dabi smirks, wildly, "...I know you think you hide it well, but I can see right through you, you're head over heels for (Y/N)." 

Shoto's blushing cheeks are the only thing disturbing his calm expression, "you love her in secret and even though she'll never be yours," he glances over his shoulder where you are kissing- no! devouring Hawks passionately. Dabi snorts to then returns his gaze to Shoto, "I want you to have your first time with whoever you dream of, I want that for you," Dabi admits, seriously. "I didn't have that, so...I want to give you at least this."

"Touya." 

The tone Shoto uses is enough for Dabi to know that he understands the deep meaning behind his actions and with enthusiasm rejuvenated, he grins, but not his usual sassy smirk but a warm, kinder one, meant only for Shoto.

"Then, play along, I'll distract birdbrains, and you fuck his girlfriend’s brain out."

"Touya!"

This time the tone used is more scolding, but the implicit agreement is already in action. The Todoroki siblings had a plan, and the evening is set for success....

....READ THE 7000 WORD FIC COMMISSION IN HERE! (Includes NSFW art from three scenes of the fic and lots of smut. Plus, lot of MHA NSFW content in general) ;)

[runninriot]

hold on together

for @stervrucht, inspired by this beautiful art piece | rated T | wc: 625 | tags: dealing with post UD trauma, nightmares, emotional hurt/comfort

   "We're alive."

The words hit Eddie like a punch to the gut. He feels like someone’s dropped him into ice cold water, startled awake by the impact. Slowly, the world around him comes into focus.

   "We're alive and we're safe and whatever you saw in your dream isn't real, okay?"

Strong arms wrap around him, giving Eddie something to hold on to, keeping his trembling body steady.

   "You're okay, Eddie. We are okay."

A sob forces its way out of his throat but doesn't have the chance to get very far. Not with Eddie's face pressed against Steve's shoulder - held tight against warm skin. Skin that is damaged, covered in scars that will always remind them that the horrors are real.

Were real.

   "It's over. They can't hurt us anymore. You're safe, I promise."

Steve's voice is a soothing vibration against the shell of his ear, the hand at the back of his head encouraging him to bury his face where he always feels safest, hiding in the space between Steve's shoulder and neck.

   "I'm here, Eddie."

He always is. Always is there to get Eddie through the nights when the monsters seem too real and he can't escape, can't run from his own mind when it's playing those images over and over again. When he can feel the teeth sinking into his flesh and smell the blood. When he feels so cold, so alone, so scared. When he wakes up screaming and drenched in sweat, unable to breathe.

Steve holds him through all of it, never complains about losing sleep, never makes fun of Eddie for crying.

   "I'm sorry, Steve," he says weakly, the words offering no real solace for how fucked up he feels. "I'm so, so sorry for being such a mess."

   "Shh, don't worry. I got you, Eddie."

Steve always does. Is the only one who gets to see Eddie like this. The only one who can catch Eddie when he's falling.

   "It's all gonna be okay. Do you hear me? I love you, baby."

Loves him despite how broken Eddie is. Loves him with all his flaws, loves him with all the burdens of a tattered mind, the trauma, and barely healed wounds. Loves him and keeps him close. Lets him fall apart in his arms before he helps him pick up the pieces time and again.

   "I don't deserve you," Eddie snivels before he dares to look up, teary eyes searching for Steve's hazel ones, "You shouldn't have to put up with me."

Steve takes him in for a few seconds, eyes flitting between Eddie's, seemingly searching for the right words to say. And then his lips curl into a lopsided smile.

   "You're not getting rid of me that easy. Sorry to break it to you but you're stuck with me forever. We're trauma bonded for life, baby."

Eddie laughs, all wet and choked up - he must look disgusting with his puffy eyes and red, blotchy face but Steve kisses him anyway. Kisses him, and holds him, and it's like a dream. A beautiful dream that slowly replaces every last memory of the nightmare he had.

   "Feeling better?" Steve asks when their lips part and Eddie nods, wordlessly follows Steve back underneath the covers where he crawls into waiting arms, quickly drifting, falling back asleep.

Maybe tomorrow, he will be the one offering comfort. Right now, though, Eddie can rest safely in his boyfriend's arms.

Hopefully one day, the recurring nightmares will finally end for both of them. Until then, no matter how hard it gets, they have each other as their anchor. Protected by love as their armour. Two hearts beating for one another, their rhythmic melody a reminder that they made it.

They are alive.

[hwaslayer]

the space between us three (jyh) | five.

⇢series masterlist | series playlist

⇢summary: while juggling the demands of life, yunho continues to do his best to raise his independent 11 yr old daughter, seora. throughout the years, they've built a strong foundation, an unbreakable bond— one that consists of late night talks and food runs, father/daughter dates, and sideline cheerleading at her basketball games. so when you unexpectedly come into their world, things shift. despite the uncertainty and the fear of stepping outside of their comfort zone, yunho and seora eventually learn how to open their hearts and learn how to rebuild a home where three can thrive together.

⇢pairing: single dad!yunho x f. reader

⇢genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, single dad au | fluff, angst, eventual smut

⇢word count: 6.6k

⇢chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, more progress between oc x yunho 🥰, everyone is playing cupid because they feel it in the airrrr lol, a lil tiny, casual family meet and greet, oc talks to yunho a bit about her parents, yunho is absolutely smitten but he's def still struggling with his own feelings and thoughts

yunho: what kind of coffee do you like?

you: that's random. lol but anything sweet? i usually go for coffee with extra cream and sugar. or a vanilla latte!

yunho: gotcha. lol

you: why? what about you?

yunho: i usually just stick to an iced americano.

you: mud water.

yunho: don't say that. ☹️

you: you know we're supposed to be meeting in like 3 mins right? lol

yunho: sorry, gonna be a few mins late? 😅 got a coffee order to take care of!

you: yunho!

You playfully roll your eyes and smile when Yunho doesn't respond on Slack afterwards. It had been a few weeks since you and Yunho began meeting on a weekly basis, all meetings considered productive yet easy-going and laid back. Some had turned to lunch meetings, killing two birds with one stone whenever you or Yunho had to reschedule. You had grown comfortable with Yunho quickly, and to your surprise, Yunho was reciprocating the same energy. You would talk about the most random things in between going through the to-do list of items you needed to check in about. You were slowly getting to know him, and him, you. You couldn't help but feel like your crush on him was growing by minute, though you tried to tell yourself to take it slow and not act too obvious about it since:

One, you didn't wanna look like a fool.

Two, you don't even know if he feels the same.

Three, what if he's not even thinking about dating in general? 

Then, you'd look stupid.

You're not gonna lie, though; a part of you felt like he was also interested in exploring this idea. He was just taking his time, too. Probably checking off the boxes on his own list before saying or doing anything.

The Instagram likes were one thing.

Then, it was reacting to your stories. The likes, the messages. The subtle flirting in between the lines.

Yunho was over here in disbelief because he didn't think he'd be shaking off the dust on his instagram page just to keep up with you. He'd even post a few times on his story just to see if you'd do the same— which, you did.

Had him bothering his own daughter to make sure his posts were up to par.

⇢FLASHBACK

"Ace." Yunho calls for Seora as they sit at a café, indulging in drinks and pastries before getting their day started together.

"Huh?" She says, sipping on her iced peach tea.

"How do you add music to your Instagram story?" He furrows his brows.

"The music note at the top right corner .. ?" She lets out a breath. "Wait, hold on. Hand it over." Yunho cocks a brow up before handing his phone to his daughter. "Why are you posting this?"

"It's a nice picture, isn't it? The sun is hitting the drink and the pastry perfectly."

"It's good, but why don't we get some candids? I can take it."

"What, no—"

"Dad, please. It's impressive, but you need to put a little more umph. You've got a face, like jeez .. put it to use." She raises his phone. "Here, just sit and act natural."

"Seora, you don't have to."

"Sit and act natural!" She repeats. "Act like I'm not taking pictures." Yunho chuckles before shaking his head and acting as naturally as possible while sipping his drink. "Amazing." Seora aggressively clicks away before setting his phone back down. "Hm." She goes through the photos she took. "I'll post the best one and add a song to it, okay?"

"Go for it."

"Just so you know, since you are my dad, it'll be free of charge and you don't have to give me credit." He laughs. 

"Noted." She pauses and squints at him, trying to read her father while resting her chin on the palm of her hand.

"Who are you trying to impress?"

"No one! I can't just post?"

"All of a sudden." She continues to give him a look before resuming her work. "Your Instagram has been sitting in the historical section of the library for years."

"Hey, now. That's an exaggeration. What did I tell you about exaggerating?"

"Yeah huh. You didn't even know how to add music. That's how ancient it is to you." Seora laughs. "Dad, just admit it. It's fine. It won't make me love you any less."

"Are you done?" Yunho cocks his head to the side and playfully squints his eyes at her.

"Actually, yup! Just about." She slides over his phone. "Look at your story. In case you didn't know, you press your profile pic—"

"Ace, I know, okay."

"Sure about that?" She giggles, watching as her dad goes through his story— eyes widening in the process.

"Since when did you get good at taking photos?"

"Since ever, duh."

"Thanks, babygirl. Think you might've saved me there."

"You're welcome. Next time, there might be a service fee. Depending on the day."

"Service fee, huh?"

"Payment accepted are stickers, shopping dates and new Nikes."

"We'll talk."

"Great." Seora smiles just as Yunho ruffles her hair.

⇢END

It's the tiny chase. The pre-chase before the actual chase. Surveying the waters before going out to sea.

Yunho likes that part, and so do you.

You smile a bit to yourself thinking about the tiny moments, typing away and taking care of other items on your list until Yunho's figure appears in the hallway. He's talking to someone across the way, two cups of coffee in his hand. He laughs and bids his farewell before walking into the conference room.

"I'm only 7 minutes late."

"Only?" You snort as he puts your cup of coffee down. "Yunho, you didn't have to." You slightly pout and he smiles.

"Did you have coffee already?"

"No.."

"Then, yeah." Yunho chuckles. "Vanilla latte."

"Thank you." You smile at him before taking a sip. It does hit the spot, and you're not sure if it tastes extra good today because Yunho's the one that brought it. "Hey, is this from the coffee shop on the corner of the hospital wing?" You recognize the name as you've made the trek over a few times if you were truly craving their coffee.

"Mhm."

"They give stickers out with every purchase. Did they give you one?"

"Yeah." He digs into his pocket and slides you a cute cartoon drawing of a capybara holding a cup of coffee. You squeal as you take it into your hands, looking up at him with the cutest look he's ever seen.

"It's different every time! Can I take this off of your hands?"

"Go for it." He chuckles. "Glad you like it. I would've probably tossed it."

"I'll give it a good home." You tuck it into your pencil case.

"I know you will." Cute, is what he's trying to say.

"So, how is your morning so far?"

"Kinda hectic. Seora and I stayed up a little too late watching our show. She got up a few minutes later than usual and she was tired. Woops."

"Yunho." He laughs.

"What? We just get too into it without realizing."

"That's cute."

"Anyway, finally shuffled her out the door, then she realized she forgot a folder she needed for class so we had to turn back and .. yeah." 

"Eventful morning."

"To say the least." He chuckles. "What about you?"

"Hm, it's been pretty quiet on my end. But, it is Monday so I'm anticipating the chaos as the week goes on." 

"I feel that. Did you have a good weekend at least? You looked like you had fun at the vintage pop-up." Yunho types away on his laptop, the never-ending notification sounds of Slack going off.

"I did! Sian and I grabbed a few gems."

"The mirror pic was cute." You giggle.

"Thanks. How was yours?"

"Good. Seora and I did a little staycation downtown."

"Aw. Do you guys always do that?"

"The staycation kinda thing? Not really. But, we always spend time together doing different things. She wanted to hit a couple of spots down there so I figured we could just make a stay out of it. I think we'll camp next."

"That's so cute." You chuckle. "Glad you enjoyed yourself." He smiles.

"Yeah." He's doing that thing again. His eyes linger on you for a second and you aren't really sure how to respond or react. You break first, shifting your attention to the notes on your laptop before clearing the small tension in the air.

"So, how are things going with the team?"

"Good. I think we're ready to schedule a bigger meeting sooner than later to showcase what we've built so far. The majority is finished and they can just let us know what tweaks they want before we finalize and deploy."

"Oh, really? That's amazing, Yunho!"

"Don't thank me, I barely lifted a finger. It was the clinical informatics team."

"Shut up." You laugh. "You helped push it through with your guidance, regardless." You take a few notes. "How about the network and everything in the peds unit?"

"Should be good to go, too."

"Okay. I'll send out a poll later to the wider group to find a good time for us to meet."

"Sounds good, boss lady." You chuckle to yourself as you set your own reminders before meeting his eyes again. "How's everything else going on your end?"

"Hm, good. We're just waiting on a few approvals regarding patient transfers and all these other clinical roadblocks."

"Keeping you busy, I see."

"Kinda, yeah. But, I like it."

"That's all that matters." He gives you a toothless smile. 

"Is there anything else I should include in the meeting agenda for the wider group?"

"I think that's it. It'll be key for them to see the build and watch us play around with it. It'll probably take up most of the meeting."

"Should we aim for an hour?"

"Are you gonna stay for the hour?" You cock a brow up.

"What if I leave?"

"30 mins then." You snort.

"Kidding. I have to, silly."

"1 hour's good then."

"Why does it matter if I'm there or not?"

"I like having you around? You .. have a calming presence. It makes me feel comfortable." You giggle.

"Uh huh." 

"Swear. These people can be ruthless."

"I'm sure. I don't doubt that. I'll be there, I have to be. And you'll all do fine, I'm sure they'll be really pleased about the progress no matter what." You sip on your coffee. "Anything else? Going once, going twice?"

"Mm, yeah. Actually. Not to pivot or anything, but they're having food trucks at the hospital courtyard later for lunch. Wanna come?"

"What time?"

"I think they'll start around 11:30am, but we'll probably head down closer to lunch or a bit after."

"Cool. Let me know when you guys are there? I'll try to drag Noeul with me. I'm sure Sian will be there."

"I'll slack you." You shake your head, immediately feeling bold enough to slack him your number.

"My number. So you don't have to Slack me. I don't always check it." He smiles and calls the number before hanging up.

"That's me." He smirks. "Coulda just asked, you know?"

"You're full of it." He laughs as you both stand, gathering your things to head out of the room. "Guess I'll see you for lunch?"

"Mhm. I'm sticking around on this floor to take care of something else. I'll text you where we're at later." He presses the elevator button for you, watching as you safely get inside.

"Sounds good." He gives you a nod of acknowledgement just as the doors slide and close in on you. 

Lunch comes quicker than you can even grasp, the sudden wave of emails and little, never-ending tasks taking up your morning hours. It isn't until Noeul pops into your space that it triggers you to check the time again.

11:58am.

"Um, what are you doing?" She knits her brows at you, watching as you furiously type away. "I was waiting for you to come, but you never came."

"Sorry, time literally flew by with all this stuff coming up. But, I'm almost done." 

"Okay, let me go pee then. I rushed over thinking you might have left without me."

"What, no?" You laugh just as she scurries off to the bathroom, giving you time to type up the last bits of your email before sending it off and crossing it off on your to-do list. 

yunho: we're out here! coming soon? 

you: mhm, just waiting for noeul!

yunho: we'll stick around the fountain until you ladies come!

you: [likes message]

"Ready?" Noeul has her wallet in hand, a big smile on her face as she approaches your cubicle once more.

"Are you ready?" You chuckle as you stand and push your chair in. 

"Definitely. Starving." She sighs. "So, Yunho invited you, hm? Literally can't get enough of you—"

"Stop it right now. Don't go there." You press the elevator button. "We're just cool. He's chill. It doesn't have to be anything." You give her a look.

"Doesn't have to be anything when he could have just left it at your weekly Monday morning meetings. But, no." She smirks and turns to you as you head inside the elevator. "We got lunch dates and now, food truck dates."

"Okay, you know the lunch meetings were because either of us had to reschedule. And this food truck thing happened on a whim."

"Why are you trying so hard to deny all of it? Girl, it's right in front of your face. The man wants you and I know you do, too." She gently nudges you. "Atta girl." You feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you scroll senselessly on your phone just to distract yourself.

"Anyway." You let out a breath. 

"Uh huh." She giggles. 

"Sian's there. Any idea what you're craving?"

"You know, I've been craving a good pad thai." You nod.

"That's sounds right now, actually. With some vietnamese coffee."

"Hope they have a truck for it." The both of you swiftly exit the elevator and start making your trek down the path to the main hospital. There are a bunch of trucks parked around and near the courtyard area, with expectedly a ton of people in attendance from both hospitals. You spot the fountain in the middle, tippy-toeing to see if you can catch a glimpse of Yunho from where you're at.

"Oh, you're here!" Sian says, already with a to-go container in hand. "Where's your guy at?" Noeul laughs loudly.

"Shut up!" You glare at her. "They're by the fountain." You start heading towards the fountain with the two in tow.

"There's so many trucks, I'm overwhelmed."

"All so good, though!" Sian starts talking about what she bought and the other trucks she managed to pass by. When you finally approach the fountain, you find Yunho, Taehyun, Jihoon and a couple of their other team members hanging around— laughing and joking in their usual fashion. His eyes immediately land on you, and his lips turn upward into a big smile. He waves, Taehyun, Jihoon and the others turning your way to greet you with smiles or their own waves.

"Aw, she's here." Taehyun pokes fun at Yunho. "His ears are turning red." Jihoon laughs.

"Never seen that before. Must be a good thing." Yunho squints his eyes at them before you and the girls finally approach the group.

"Hey!" You greet them, along with Noeul and Sian.

"Glad you made it through the sea of people."

"Yeah, there's definitely a lot of people around." You chuckle.

"Hungry? Wanna go find something to eat?" You nod, letting Yunho lead the way. Before you even realize it, You and Yunho end up walking away from the group unintentionally— everyone splitting ways to grab food of their liking without coming up with a plan to meet somewhere in the middle afterwards.

Unless, this was their plan all along.

You can't even spot any of them in the surrounding crowd.

"Anything you're craving?"

"Me and Noeul were just talking about this." You chuckle. "We've been thinking about good pad thai."

"Mm." Yunho hums. "I think they have a truck over there for it. Line is kinda long though, if you're okay with that."

"It's fine. I have time." You look up at him. "What're you gonna eat?"

"Whatever you're eating?" He laughs. "I'm not gonna leave you alone in this line."

"Yunho. I'll be good, you can go find something you like."

"Nah, it's okay. I'm good with whatever. Besides, their garlic noodles sound good." You giggle.

"Okay then! If you say so." You pout a bit and he lets out a tiny laugh.

"How have the past few hours been?"

"The usual. A few emails did wash in and keep me busy. Had two quick check-in meetings over Zoom, too." He nods. "What about you and the team?"

"Yeah, it got kinda chaotic for a second. Lots of things were breaking at once, but we've got a handle on it. Systems are recovering." He checks his phone to make sure nothing else urgent has popped up.

"You guys are always running around."

"We are. Between both hospitals. Gives me a good workout to be running around like crazy." You laugh. "How's your brother doing, by the way? He seems cool. It was nice to see you guys together that one weekend."

"Cool? Please." You playfully roll your eyes. "But, he's good. Living life as he usually does." You chuckle. "We'll probably be back in the next weekend or so. Be prepared to get sick of us. Or, me. I guess." 

"Nah, never." Yunho laughs. "I'm glad you'll be around more often. I'm sure your parents are happy about it."

⇢FLASHBACK

"Your favorite child is here—" You smack Wonwoo upside the head as you two head in through the gate of your parents' house. You and Wonwoo decided to spend the night as an attempt to genuinely give them more time and be around them. "Ah-ow." He squints and looks at you.

"I don't recall you helping pick out their new couch last week."

"Oh, because the one weekend I'm away and can't come, you automatically think you're the favorite? Get a grip." You roll your eyes and gently push him to the side before entering the house. 

Yunho's car isn't in sight next door.

The both of you greet your parents loudly before going to your old, respective rooms and dropping off your things. Your parents waste no time shuffling you two back out of the house, dragging you along on their usual routine— Costco, other grocery stores and a bit of shopping at the mall. Wonwoo and your father start geeking out over golf clubs, fishing and coffee, while you and your mom are too busy shopping for makeup, bags, perfumes and skincare.

It's nice to see your family like this.

Calm, peaceful and enjoying each other without any side commentary and remarks.

Your family decides to grab a pretty early dinner at the food court— you and your brother opting for some rice bowls, while your mom and dad share some cold noodles. You and Wonwoo start updating your parents about where things are at work, with your mom happily praising Yunho when you mention how often you have to meet with him to push things forward on the IT side. Wonwoo talks a bit about how work has been keeping him busy and how him and the boys are planning more trips in the future. Luckily, your parents don't say much about how you both have been spending your downtime— the two of them too busy fighting over the kind of boba drink they wanna share before leaving the mall.

When you get back, you and Wonwoo clean up and get settled, already feeling hungry again after the small, early dinner you had.

"Hey." You lean against Wonwoo's door frame as he stands from shuffling through his duffle bag.

"Yeah?"

"Kinda want a snack. Ice cream. Something we can take and sit by the pit in the backyard."

"Convenience store trip?" You nod, already dressed in your oversized crewneck and sweats. Wonwoo throws on his hoodie over his shirt, sporting his basketball shorts and slippers. You let your parents know you're trekking down to the store, your dad calling out for you to bring back bottles of soju just as you head out the door.

You let out a breath when the crisp night air touches your skin; breath visible in the cold. As you exit through the gate, you notice Yunho's car is parked now, and you suddenly wonder what he's up to.

"It's a little nostalgic making this walk and sleeping in my room again." Wonwoo cuts in.

"Yeah, I know. I kinda miss those times. When we'd get home from school or head down to the convenience store with our friends before walking deeper into town."

"The simple days."

"Tell me about it." You chuckle, head pointed down as you continue the quiet walk with your brother. The door to the convenience store dings when it swings open, causing you to turn your attention back upwards.

You stop, and Wonwoo knits his brows at you when he sees you've stopped moving forward.

"Oh— Yunho." You pause in your steps when you see Yunho and his daughter come out of the same convenience store. A small smile tugs on the corner of your lips when you get a good look at how much she looks like her dad. She's got height to her, too. Makes sense she's an athlete. She's got dark brown hair, long. Eyes are brown, lashes are long. Her eyes and her nose are exactly her father's. She's dressed in a cute puffer jacket and flare leggings, Ugg slippers. Her dad is in a thick Essentials grey hoodie, jeans and brown Nikes. 

"Y/N, hey." He smiles. "Nice to see you."

"Grabbing ice cream after dinner?" You look at the ice cream in their hands.

"Before, actually." He shyly says before chuckling. "Haven't gotten to making dinner yet, we just got home not too long ago."

"Touché. All good. Can't go wrong with that, sometimes." You laugh a bit before turning to Wonwoo. "This is Wonwoo, my younger brother." 

"Hey." Wonwoo does a curt bow, which Yunho reciprocates. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too. This is my daughter, Seora."

"Hi." She smiles toothlessly as she sways from side to side, hand in a pocket while the other holds her ice cream cone.

"Hi Seora." You look at her with a soft smile while Wonwoo waves.

"They're Auntie Love and Uncle Po's kids."

"Cool. It's nice to finally put a face to it. Your parents talk about you alot. Like a lot! But we never see you around." She says.

"We just get busy, is all. But, you'll be seeing more of us from now on." Seora nods.

"Are you guys picking up some ice cream, too?"

"Yeah, and other snacks. Drinks for my dad." You chuckle.

"We're about to hang out in the backyard with our parents if you wanna join. Sure they wouldn't mind." Wonwoo adds with a shrug.

"Thanks, that's really nice of you guys. Don't wanna intrude, though. You should definitely take this time with your parents." Yunho responds.

"Well, I'm sure one of us will be knocking at your door with food tonight."

"I can look forward to that." Yunho laughs. "Anyway, we'll get going. Thanks again, and enjoy your goodies." His eyes land on you, and you can't help but feel the heat instantly rise to the surface of your cheeks. He doesn't break contact for awhile, which doesn't make it any easier for you. It isn't until Seora and Wonwoo start walking off that he finally breaks and gives you a tiny smile before following his daughter home.

"Aye." Wonwoo says when you reappear next to him again. "He seems nice. Is that the guy you were talking about? Mom and dad's neighbor that you work with?"

"Yeah, we're working together for the new department. It's also the same guy I almost spilled my coffee on."

"Damn. No wonder you were crying about it." He laughs. "I saw you two."

"Saw .. what?" Wonwoo clicks his teeth and gives you a look.

"Just looking at each other. That's what. Don't play dumb." He grabs the soju bottles for your dad and slips it into the basket.

"Oh. Jeez, that wasn't anything."

"Uh huh. Cause I stare people down on a daily basis the same way you two do."

"Wonwoo." You roll your eyes. "We barely know each other."

"And? Doesn't mean you won't, especially having to work so closely with him." He throws some of his favorite snacks into the basket, along with your favorite chips.

"Well, you know what, whatever happens, happens. Either way, I'm good. You know this."

"I feel that."

"Besides, I know Yunho is worried about his daughter more than anything. Wouldn't that be kinda weird to step into their life and disrupt their whole flow?" You head towards the ice cream. "I can imagine mom having a lot of shit to say about it."

"Dude, mom and dad love him and his daughter. He wouldn't have to do a damn thing to impress them." You laugh.

"Wishful thinking." You shake your head. "Anyway, let's not get ahead of ourselves." You look at him with both your favorite ice cream in hand. "Ready?"

"Yup." You and Wonwoo head to the counter, allowing your brother to [happily] pay for the snacks and drinks. He carries the bag in one hand while you both joke around in your usual sibling fashion until you head your mom's voice echoing in the street.

"My kids! They finally make an appearance! You met them, right? Seora, you've met my kids?! They finally took time to see us—" You watch as Yunho and Seora turn towards you, tupperwares already sitting in Yunho's hands.

"Mom, jeez. You're the loudest thing in this street." Your brother teases, making you laugh. "Airing out our business to the whole damn neighborhood."

⇢END

"I guess so. Even then, our parents will still find ways to rub it in our faces." You let out a small breath, pushing upwards as the line moves.

"Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Call me nosey if you want." You cock a brow up as you meet his eyes again.

"Try me."

"Do you and your parents get along well?"

"I guess so. For the most part. We're just like any other family who fights every now and then. Why do you ask?"

"I— I just heard it in your voice that first Monday meeting we had. It just seemed a little deeper, is all. Wanted to see if you were okay."

"Wow, you remember that far back?"

"Well, to be fair, it wasn't that far back. But, yeah. I don't know. I picked up on the shift." You look down at your feet.

"It's really nothing deep. We just argue like any kids do with their parents. They set a lot of their expectations and wishes on us, even if it's not what me and Wonwoo want right now. Or, I guess to put it plainly, they've been putting a lot of pressure on us."

"Which is?"

"Well, you know. The usual settling down and having a family of our own. We have each other, but they still worry that no one else will help take care of us or support us in the long run."

"I know it can get frustrating, but I'm sure the underlying message is that they just wanna see you both happy and taken care of."

"Right, but we're happy with where we're at. We aren't are rushing, but they keep acting like time is running out."

"Hm." He hums again." I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I think we've gotten used to it, and we're both just trying to remember the more positive side of it like you mentioned."

"They care about you two deeply, that's all it is. Nothing about you two doing anything wrong."

"Yeah. I know." You give him a subtle toothless smile before shifting your attention to the front. You finally get to place your order, with Yunho suddenly jumping in right before you get a chance to whip out your card. He relays his order and taps his card against the reader to pay for both meals, walking away with a shit-eating smirk on his face as you follow him in disbelief. "Yunho!"

"What?" He laughs.

"Why'd you do that! You already got me coffee! Let me send you some money."

"No, I wanted to." You pout.

"Are you sure? I mean, the food was kinda pricey, I wanna send—"

"Y/N." He looks at you. "I promise it's fine. I wanted to, so let me, yeah?"

"Okay. Fine. But, I'll get you next time."

"Sure." You whine a bit to protest. The food is whipped up quick, with you and Yunho only waiting another 5 minutes until it's being handed over in a thick plastic bag. You spot your friends and his team members huddled at a table, waving you over to join them while they eat. You plop down next to Sian and Noeul, who have already started eating— to your surprise, Noeul opted for something different than what she was originally craving. The group is engaging in lively conversation, the boys asking a lot about how the pediatrics unit usually is or picking Noeul's brain with HR cases [sparing any sensitive details]. 

Its nice that you, Sian and Noeul are blending in easily.

Conversation comes easy, even when Yunho is looking at you the way he is from across the table.

In the next 45-mins, both Sian and Noeul run off to a meeting, with a few of Yunho's team members heading back up to tend to service tickets. Taehyun and Jihoon are the last few to bid their farewells before they're leaving you and Yunho alone.

"Let me walk you back."

"You don't have to."

"Y/N, what can I do? I can't pay for you, I can't buy you coffee, I can't walk you. God forbid." You laugh at his teasing and playfully push him aside.

"I just don't want you to do extra work when you'll probably have a shit ton of work to get back to."

"No biggie. I can handle it." You nod. "Did you enjoy your food?"

"Oh my god, yeah. It was so good. How about you?"

"Yeah, it was good. Anything else on your plate for today?"

"We shall see." You look down at the ground. Yunho is literally battling with himself right now, trying to figure out if he should keep asking you to lunch or if he should take the leap and ask if you wanna hang out outside of work hours. You don't break the silence for a good while either; it makes Yunho wonder if you were thinking about similar things, too. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Just kinda spaced out. Maybe the food coma is hitting me." You giggle, stopping at the side entrance of the pediatric hospital.

"Try to take it easy then, okay?" You look up at him and the sun hits you perfectly from where you're standing. You're having to shield your eyes and squint at him, and Yunho thinks it's adorable. He steps to the side to help block the sun rays, making you giggle even more at the use of his tall figure. "I guess I'll see you later?" You smile. "Thank you for walking me, Yunho. I feel kinda bad you have to trek back."

"Ah, can get my steps in." He shifts his weight and rocks back and forth on his feet while looking at you. "Lunch again tomorrow?"

"Sure, yeah."

"I'll text you." He smiles, watching as you nod and wave— shuffling over to the elevator. You give him one last goodbye before the elevator doors swallow you whole, leaving Yunho to his lonely trek back to his headquarters.

Should he have asked?

Would he lose anything by asking?

Is he being too much?

Do you even like him like that? What if it's just your personality to be that kind and sweet?

What if you're like that to everyone and he isn't any—

"Hey." His head turns upwards to see Ara coming out of the hospital. 

"Oh, hey." 

"Coming back from lunch?"

"Yeah." She nods quietly.

"I see you've been hanging out." Yunho furrows his brows at Ara. She nods towards the pediatrics hospital and he follows her gaze before returning his attention to her.

"Oh. We're working together on the new unit and she's the bridge from the pediatric end. We just meet weekly about updates." She nods slowly, silently.

"Over lunch, too?" Yunho tilts his head to the side. "You seem like you get along well with her."

"Yeah." Yunho pauses a bit. "We're chill."

"That was fast."

"Ara." He calls her name with slight disappointment in his tone. One, he's a little appalled she'd jump to conclusions so quickly. But two, most importantly, he understands why she would be frustrated but who was he to force feelings? He simply didn't feel the same way she did and he's genuinely sorry about it. He tried to bring her down gently and he still stands by what he said— he doesn't think he'd be ready to take on a super serious relationship right away if anything were to evolve.

He'd need to take his time and build his trust, his comfort.

And he just couldn't see that with her.

"All good!" She laughs it off. "Glad you're happy." She nods before brushing him off completely. "Anyway, I gotta run to eat before I do my rounds. See you around!" She flies right on by without giving Yunho any more time. He sighs heavily to himself, mumbling a low 'shit' as he turns on his heel.

"What was that about?" Seonghwa has his hands dug into his pockets as he points his lips behind Yunho.

"A whole misunderstanding."

"That, or she's just hurt." Seonghwa chuckles a bit. "Was it the whole lunch thing? Lunches, I guess. Lunches, meetings, coffee dates, whatever." Seonghwa corrects himself.

"Sure, yeah. Guess you could say that."

"She'll be okay."

"Where the hell were you, anyway? I tried texting you but you didn't respond."

"I went to go see Yoori." Yunho slowly nods.

"Ah. Got it." Seonghwa chuckles and shakes his head.

"Then I got caught up with some people in the lobby. How was the food truck event?"

"Good, they actually had some really good trucks posted there today."

"Damn. It's okay. Next time."

"Yeah, I'm sure your time with Yoori was eventful, anyway."

"Fuck off. Y/N came?" It's no secret that Yunho had already mentioned you to Seonghwa and Mingi at this point. Not only because you two were meeting frequently, but because he started to open up to his bestfriends about how comfortable you made him feel and how he had been interested in possibly exploring things further. They know what Yunho is like when he genuinely has feelings for someone and is deeply interested, and this is it. The constant messaging, down to meet up during the work day without question, dusting off the Instagram page to catch each other's attention— it feels like forever since they've seen Yunho gush over someone the way he had been doing with you.

They're glad, though.

They hope this takes off properly.

They hope it all works out well.

"Sure did."

"How was that?"

"Good." Yunho smiles a bit to himself.

"When am I gonna meet her?"

"Well you could've if you weren't so busy tending to your needs." Seonghwa clicks his teeth.

"She looked cute."

"She is cute."

"Okay, maybe you do move on fast." He jokes. 

"Correction." Yunho looks at him. "I put myself out there and gave it a shot with Ara just like all you assholes told me to and it didn't work out. Sorry." He shrugs. "I don't know what you want me to say." Seonghwa laughs.

"I'm just teasing. I know, I know. And that's fair. I can't blame you." There's a small silence before Seonghwa breaks the air again. "Well, it seems like you and Y/N are getting along more and more every day. It's nice to see."

"Yeah, we are. It's nice having her around and working with her on all these things."

"When are you gonna ask her out?"

"That's a good question." Yunho kicks at the ground below his feet before shrugging. "Am I?"

"Yeah? Absolutely."

"I don't know. I'm kinda shy to after the whole Ara thing."

"Well again, to be fair, that was you testing the waters. This is slightly different since you both are genuinely interested in each other."

"I dunno if she is."

"Quit that shit, okay? If she wasn't, she wouldn't be wasting time on your ass." Yunho sighs. 

"I should've asked her while she was with me earlier."

"You can always text her if you can't wait."

"I don't wanna be lame, though."

"You're not! It's all in the beginning stages, you're not gonna have everything down perfectly no matter how hard you try."

"I guess so. I'll think about it tonight."

"Don't lose out on it." Yunho licks his lips, interrupted by the notifications blaring through his phone. He sees a few urgent issues coming up, causing him to rub at the back of his neck before groaning and tucking his phone back into his pocket.

"Anyway, gotta run. Got some shit to take care of. I'll talk to you later."

"Don't text or call me unless you have good news to share."

"Fuck you." Yunho mouths out before doing a light jog towards the old hospital to take care of business with Taehyun.

"I mean it!" Seonghwa says loudly before walking towards the café for more coffee.

As the day goes on, both you and Yunho end up getting swamped with tasks here and there— the both of you leaving work a little later than your end times. You swing by the store to grab a few more groceries needed for dinner, while Yunho gets home and quickly showers to prep dinner for him and Seora. Although you had been busy, you had been wondering what Yunho was up to and vice versa.

Yunho, especially.

He manages to whip up some spaghetti, having a good, hearty conversation with his daughter about how school and practice went today. Yunho listens attentively when she complains about her teacher assigning a report due at the end of the week, listens attentively when she talks about a new play their coach pulled out during practice. He listens attentively to all the little quirks and details of her day, exchanging his own when she asks how work was and if he enjoyed the food trucks that came by.

Even throughout all of that, a part of him is still stuck on you.

You.

Torn and getting pulled in all different directions.

Bedtime comes and .. he still hasn't decided. All this internal back and forth is starting to make Yunho feel frustrated because of Ara, because of Eunha— because he thinks he just can't get past losing someone else, or not finding someone who could be a fit for him, his daughter.

He's scared.

He's scared he'll never get to experience that ever again, and if he does, it'll probably just get taken away from him.

Again.

That's why he hesitates. He's not sure if he has it in him, but at the same time, he knows he has to get past this. He has to try, and he has to stop assuming they'll all end badly in one way or another.

"Fuck." He mumbles to himself as he slightly sits back up, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. 

Should he wait? It's getting late.

He watches the minutes pass him by before he pulls up your number and begins to type away, thinking of some kinda excuse to pull himself outta this shit before it's too late.

But, he can't help it. He wants to text you.

Fuck it.

yunho: hey! sorry for the late text. hope i'm not bothering you.

Your eyes dart to your phone sitting on the edge of the bathroom counter while you continue to massage your night cream into your face, slowing your motions and smiling to yourself when you see who has finally put your number to use outside of work hours. You massage the remaining cream down to your neck before picking up your phone to respond.

you: hey you! you're not a bother. ☺️

yunho: oh, you're awake?!

you: i don't sleep that early! haha.

yunho: idk you said you fall asleep at like 8pm. lol

you: i said sometimes i'm in bed by 8pm but i don't fall asleep until later! i just get lazy and don't wanna do anything at the end of the day. lol

yunho: okay fine, fair enough! i'll let it pass.

you: please, hahaha

yunho: soooo .. this is kinda lame and i should've done it earlier but i was shy about it 😭 

yunho: but, by any chance, do you wanna grab dinner and kick it at the end of the week? no pressure or anything.

you: not lame! lol. i'd love to, yunho. ☺️ sounds fun!

yunho: really? 😀 cooooool. let me plan and think of a few things we could do.

you: sounds good w/ me!

yunho: i'll let you get to bed. see you tomorrow? 

you: mhm, mhm! goodnight. 😌

yunho: goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.

You bite onto your bottom lip as you giggle to yourself and grab your lip mask before happily waddling to bed. You let out a squeal against your pillow, instantly texting Sian and Noeul about what just transpired.

The end of the week couldn't come any quicker.

⇢taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @nopension @curse-of-art @thechaotictheoryy @likexaxdaydream @dalsuwaha @enha-stars @yasuraokaa @professormingisglasses @yunyunrin @pommelex @astral-trashcan @laura1399 @domfikeluva @tournesol155 @hwaskookies @yusalterego @hwa-stars @hyukssunflower @chngbnwf @jaytheatiny @lucid-galaxys-world @chaotic-floral @sofkloster @honeyrecommends @hwashua-luv @luvv4bby @spicxbnny @pandyandy71 @sanniesaurus

[sammyluvr]

✶ no one else here — sam winchester

cw : gn!reader, sort of dreamy!reader, fluff, sam calls reader pretty, unedited, 908 words. requested ! for my 900 followers event [ closed ] .

prompt : in the patch of sunlight cast through a window + “it is pretty. i think you’re very pretty, too.”

one might say that you’re easily enchanted. you beeline to the corner of the library with tall, southern facing windows that let the early afternoon sunlight stream over the study tables and sprawling shelves that practically overflowed with books. this small town’s library is an absolute gem. it’s clearly a historic town, full of victorian era and gothic revival architecture among more common styles. the library’s pinnacles and pointed windows make it clearly gothic revival, which is a complete aesthetic treat. most public libraries that you and sam visit for researching purposes tend to be visually unimpressive, but this is a gem. 

it feels like it could be a movie set, and the sharp shadows in the shape of stretched, intricate window panes have you enraptured as you sit across from sam. you’re now bathed in sunlight, and sam thinks you’re the prettiest thing in this library, especially as you smile and stretch your hand out in the bright patch of light. it’s not a warm day, but the sun through the window is strong and warms you where it beams down onto your left side.

when you grab a book from sam’s tall stack, you realize he’s looking at you with a small smile on his pretty, frustratingly kissable lips. you smile back because you’re in a helplessly good mood thanks to all the sunlight and windows and dreamy architecture. you open the book and look down quick enough that you miss his blush.

a thin line of defined shadow stretches across the book's slightly yellowed pages as you skim the table of contents, looking for anything that might be of use to you. content, you read for a long while, sharing tidbits of information with sam and discovering that you can’t stop smiling at him. he’s just so very easy to smile at, with that gorgeous face of his, boyish dimples, and impossibly mesmerizing eyes. 

the fact that he doesn’t do much reading, and instead spends most of his time staring at you somehow flies right over your head. simple delight and a sense of ease is your best look, and it sends his sensibility spilling away from him.

“anything else?” you murmur, looking up at him from your current book, which has yielded nothing new thus far. the light has shifted and the shadows have begun to soften. you’re now illuminated by the sunlight coming through a different window than when you first arrived, after being swathed in gentle shadow for a while as the sun moved through the sky.

“nothing else,” he replies, sighing softly, but not feeling tired at all.

you close your book and stretch your arms up above your head with a reactionary yawn. then you lean forward, prop your elbow up on the table, and rest your chin on the palm of your hand. your eyes flick up to his face after scanning the upside down title of a book near his elbow.

“i wish all the libraries we visited looked like this,” you say, voice a bit wistful, “it’s so pretty here. i had no idea there were places like this in such small towns.” sam wants to tell you all about it. bits of history about small towns in the new england states and what he read on the plaque by the front door. he’s sure you’d love to hear it, but it all slips from his mind as he looks at you.

“it is pretty,” he agrees, “i think you’re very pretty, too.” and he says that with such sincerity that it can’t have been an accident. he must really mean it, and he must have the intention for you to know it. you look at him almost blankly. he’s complimented you before, but never with such spontaneity or intensity. sam thinks you’re pretty, in the way that he’s attracted to you. he’s just confessed to being attracted to you, and you have no idea how to react. all you know is that you’re far more delighted than you have been all day.

it takes you so long to respond that he begins to worry. then, softly tumbling out of your lips and accompanied by a pleased smile, comes the echo of his own words, “really? i think you’re very pretty, too.”

it’s his turn to feel shy. sam feels like he’s constantly blushing when he’s around you. frankly, he is. he nods lightly to your ‘really?’ because he wants you to know how much he means it. then, he wants to repeat that question to be sure that you mean it, but that would make this conversation sound a bit like an echo chamber, so he puts his hand over yours and grins because he can’t help it.

“do you think there’s anyone else in this library?” he asks as a murmur, his voice a bit sly and playful.

you grin back. “you mean besides the funny old lady at the front desk who told us that the corner with the windows is the most private place in here? and that she can’t hear patrons that far back, so she’s trusting us not to cause any trouble?” he lets out a soft laugh and blushes all over again the way he had when she told them that. he’s pretty sure you missed the wink she threw at him, too. you give a little shake of your head. “no. no i don’t think there’s anyone else here.”

[lovesick-gardening]

Nikto with the sunshine, sweet, good, just reader who despite being that way guards their heart. so this man is intensely in love with you, like to the point of dreaming of you and genuinely staying quiet because you're so beautiful in his eyes he doesn't even know how to formulate a coherent sentence ...... yeah, this man is a total loser (affectionate). He's always looking after you even when you're not aware of it and he visibly comes to attention whenever anyone so much as mentions your name around him. You walk into a room and he is laser focused on you and sometimes he doesn't even realize how awkward that might be, but when he does remember, he's soooo grateful for the mask because his ears and neck and face feel so warm when you're around. a curious mix of shy in odd ways, yet gruff and absolutely puffing his chest and showing off whenever he can.

Oh and if you wear the niqab?? youre a hijabi??? he's melting at the softness of your eyes, the strength of your gaze. nikto looks into your eyes and wants to learn everything there is to know about you, about the softness of your eyes and the way your whole face lights up with a smile so precious that he can't even fathom what kind of effect actually seeing it would have on his heart. of course you're so gorgeous, really not everyone is even worthy of seeing your face. He gets it and never makes you feel uncomfortable and he never pressures you to take it off.

Nikto sometimes gets so absorbed in the bubble you too can create at times, but he's immediately disgruntled whenever another man tries to get your attention for some selfish reason. No, does this guy even know how excited you get talking about your favorite media? does he even know what your favorite subject was in high school or even an inkling of the thought process behind your outfits???? Nikto will literally subtly match your outfit in some way and he’ll fuss with that one thing to make sure it’s perfect. And even if you don’t notice it, he’ll do it all the time anyway because his whole being lights up at the thought of sharing anything with you. A style, a home, a life, if you’ll let him.

And then there is you. so kind, warm and intelligent and amazing and always making others feel welcomed and loved. You're always encouraging others to be confident. You - who affected Nikto with kindness that came so easy to you but meant everything to him. every moment of it, every bit of it, every second of it. When you talk to him and he talks to you, he feels like you two are the only people in the world and every second with you is precious. He hangs on to every word that leaves your mouth, tucks it safe into his ribcage where if you were ever to truly see the space you hold in his life, you'd know it's a library dedicated to everything you. What you love, what matters to you, your intellect, your experiences, your likes and dislikes. You mean so much and you don't even know. You withhold parts of yourself even from close friends - like your interests or the kind of books you like, for example - so everything Nikto knows is through pure devotion of his time and attention to you, only you. It has always been you and will never be anyone else.

You, who distance yourself from others the second they show any romantic interest in you. A waiter at a restaurant specifically tends to table around yours and keeps turning to see you and you don't even realize; it's only when a friend teases you about him having an interest in you do you realize. And it's the way you clam up and freeze that keeps Nikto from ever spilling his heart in incriminating ways. With words he can never take back and hides and lives with all the same. But oh - his feelings for you are anything but subtle, even when he thinks he's being mellow about them.

He holds your bags for you and if you have a favorite drink you'll first find it on your desk before Nikto works up the courage to just give you it each time that he knows you're craving for it. So strong, so big, so tall, and sometimes so gruff and other times he comes to life with this devastating streak of boyishness - like when he figures out something about you or when you let down a wall or when he knows he's flustering you. All he wants is to be let into your innermost circle where he'd live forever under your shade. If you're sitting under a tree, he's finding refuge in your shadow. His heart is entirely yours and shies and twists and even aware of its own weaknesses and faults, but still, Nikto doesn’t want it anywhere except with you.

What he wants is for you to know you’re always safe with him and you can rely on him. He’ll do everything from cooking your favorite meals to even shielding you from the sun when it’s too hot and the wind when it’s too cold. He’ll see you shiver and coo at you for not keeping yourself warm enough as he gets on the floor and slips socks onto your feet. It’s the best and worst kind of agony because he wants to do so much more for you. Want to tuck you into his side, wrap a blanket around you and kiss your forehead, your, eyes, your nose, your cheeks, and then your lips. To silence all those fears and insecurities, all those doubts. To have the honor of you asleep in his presence. Entrusting him with yourself

He's incredibly restrained - never wanting to make you uncomfortable, but it's his eyes that give him away. So wild with yearning and affection and want that overwhelms anyone looking on. Like he's never seen another person before, like you’re a star come down to earth, like you're all anyone ever wants.

He's okay with holding back for now, whatever it takes to be close to you. He'll accept anything you give him if it means you’ll let him look after you, to be a part of your life in any measure.

[handlemehyuck]

take what you need from me . lee jeno

・❥・ cockwarming (reader falls asleep during) + light fingering 18+ mdni fluff, stress relief, jeno x female reader 1.2k

thinking about cockwarming with boyfriend jeno, and its presence in your nighttime routine—the hints he receives in texts throughout the day, and that’s how this all started: your stress.

one evening, the energy that joined your arrival back home weighed down your shoulders, clouded your gaze, and kept your lips in a tight line when you approached your boyfriend after kicking off your shoes. so he took your hand, led you to your bedroom, and started undressing. every article of clothing shed enhanced the light in your eyes, straightening your posture with intrigue. when he was naked and perched on the edge of your bed, his fingertips flicked the buttons of your blouse, “may i?” the permission was easy—immediate, and he began undressing you slowly, taking his time, each movement made with care; there was no need to rush. once you were naked too, he leaned forward to kiss the stripe of skin beneath your breasts, squeezing your waist as the gentle ministration started the heavy task of clearing your head.

“i want to try something.” you watched with curiosity and awe as jeno pushed himself back until he was leaning against the headboard, muscles flexing, slivers of sunshine brushing his skin in a perfect glow. your lips parted at the sight, instinctually moving forward and taking his outstretched hand. you knew what this was. you had mentioned it before, when you were on his lap in the living room. it was a sunday night, serenity in the air and you half-dressed after a shower. he didn’t bat an eye, said you should try it while tracing your delicate lines of ink, wondered aloud if you already had. only a couple of times. with the wrong person, but a seed of something was still planted: closeness—a complete union.

your knees sink into the mattress, distance closing as you approach his waist, cock hard against his taut stomach, but his eyes are gentle and soft. jeno smiles at you, something reassuring as your legs widen to accommodate the width of his thighs. a guiding hand placed on your hips as you sink down.

the stretch is familiar. his hands on your thighs are warm. your locked gazes send a chill down your spine. for a moment, all you do is watch each other, feeling his length exactly where you want it, loving the warm buzz of need but knowing you won’t give in. you tilt your head, eyes closing as the waves of sweet euphoria lap at the edges of your mind, begging for a total flood. jeno draws you closer. your chests collide. your head dips, lips meeting his skin, grazing his neck, and sucking your favorite spot behind his ear—the place that always pulls a delicious sound from his lips. his strong arms hold you in a soft possession, fingertips kneading over your shoulders and down your back, searching for the spot that wakes you up in the middle of the night.

the feeling of your body going slack in his arms is electrifying because jeno knows what it means—how significant it is to be trusted completely, reminded of a moment so early on it feels like a lifetime ago when he told you: take what you need from me. he remembers the surprise that shifted your features. it widened your eyes, parted your lips, and warmed your cheeks. in that moment, his words meant a million things. neither one of you could know exactly where they’d begin and where they’d end, if anywhere at all. in the moments you feel like you’re taking too much, all jeno experiences is satisfaction and safety in your heart as the man you decided was worth letting in, letting yourself be known by, letting yourself connect with, and fall and tumble into something so intertwined you don’t doubt it’s cosmic.

jeno knows you’ve fallen asleep and readjusts himself ever so slightly, propping up another pillow behind him before closing his own eyes to focus on the rise and fall of your chest. the beat he feels against his own is recognized by his heart, and his breath matches yours.

you wake up to the sound of your name mumbled against your skin, an apologetic tone. “baby, i’m so sorry. i’ve got to piss.”

you hum, amused and start to lift yourself, but jeno stops you, catching you in a blissful kiss. his thumb teases the side of your breast, hardening your nipples. no fair. when he pulls away, you kiss his nose and finally disconnect with a sigh. one that melts into his own.

he’s still taking his time, and you lay propped up on your side to admire all of his solid lines, finding the soft and round places with ease. “are you sure you have to pee?”

“my leg’s asleep.” his smile is lazy, eyes shrinking to crescents. a light laughter follows, spilling a similar glow to the sun’s throughout your bedroom, its light gone until morning.

“should i stab it with a pen?” his expression sends you into giggles, and you settle for gentle squeezes along his quad muscle. “not my jen, i could never.” you fall onto your stomach and pepper kisses just above his knee. “better?” jeno hums, encouraging you to keep going.

you kiss his body until jeno stops you, groaning about the damn bathroom again, knowing his hard on will create an unfortunate struggle. “don’t go anywhere.” like you ever would.

you coo loudly, embarrassing him as he waddles through your closet and into the attached bath. “shut up!”

you turn to lay flat on your back, drawing a fingertip up your abdomen and through the valley between your breasts, completely immersed in euphoria. “don’t you dare come back in here without washing your hands.”

“who do you think i am?” the faucet turns on for a full 30 seconds - yes, you count them - before your boyfriend is back and standing over your body. he admires you: the curves he’d recognize with his eyes closed, your blissful expression, the swell of your chest, faint bruises from the weekend decorating your hip. “should we make love, baby?”

“please,” his thumb traces your lips, and you watch his face with wide eyes, eager not to miss a thing.

“you always ask so nicely, doll.”

“jen,” you moan as he pops his thumb into your mouth. your tongue circles it on instinct, satisfied, he draws it out. “please don’t make me wait.”

“i wasn’t going to,” he kisses your nose and then your forehead. sinking into the mattress, his knees entrap you this time. his thumb is coated in your saliva, not that he needs the help—your folds are already soaked. “mmm, always ready for me too.”

“you make it easy, jen.” you squirm beneath him, close to steering his thumb exactly where you need it.

he’s being playful, knowing there’s hours ahead of this, and you’ll be orgasmic until the sun rises. it’s one of the reasons why he has a thing about middle of the night lovemaking. he can only see so much of you in the moonlight. the shadows are exciting, lines of light find you in the lewdest places. but, his favorite part is watching you clarify—his love all over you as the sun stretches and yawns before you’re completely coated in light. light that sticks to your swollen lips, messy hair, bruised skin, the place where your bodies intertwine, his hand around your neck, your eyelids fluttering when his name is the only thing left to say because you know it makes him cum.

[mxrcusflint]

secret quiet relationship hangster our beloved

The Pacific never got old. Never could. The first time Jake saw the ocean was at the mouth of San Diego on a kayak behind his older sister. He was ten and hypnotized by the way light reflected off the surface of the water, how everything looked like molten metal. 

The front door was still sticky at the hinges, opening with a creak as Jake crept in. He avoided tripping on the skewed doormat. He should place the haphazardly thrown boots into a neater line below the bench, but it was late, and the shot of whiskey to round off the night had seeped into his bloodstream. 

He took great care to close the bathroom door quietly when he was done brushing his teeth, throwing his uniform into the hamper, but Bradley had always been a light sleeper.

“Took you long enough.”

Rooster earned his reputation by getting up at the ass-crack of dawn and making it everyone’s problem. Why he never bothered with ear plugs was a mystery, but Jake liked how Bradley usually awakened when he slid into bed.

Jake approached the edge of the bed. “When’d you leave?”

“‘Round ten,” Bradley grunted, as he brought himself closer. 

That was how Bradley worked at a party: a flash-bang firework which left everyone on a high. He would tug in a crowd with a loping smirk and perform an Irish-exit once he grew satisfied with the attention and the fun. 

“Should I be concerned about your welcome?” Jake chuckled. “Did I make you mad somewhere, sweetheart?”

Bradley didn’t protest. He held a grudge when it befit him, and Jake had dangled a challenge in front of his nose, fully expecting the worst. Whatever it was stewing in Bradley’s brain would come out in bits and pieces, but Rooster seemed more than happy to place his forehead against the rise and fall of Jake’s stomach.

“Slow Ride was not appreciated.” Bradley’s voice was muffled. The movement of his mouth tickled. 

“Not my fault you’re a pillow princess.”

Bradley smacked his ass. 

“Gonna throw my back out because of you one day,” Jake continued, though he betrayed himself by combing his fingers through Bradley’s mess of hair. He’d showered before flopping into bed, it seemed; Jake felt the damp cling to his fingers. 

He placed his chin into Jake’s open palm and peered up with heavy-lidded eyes. Bradshaw and his Pacific sunshine – easier on the eyes than Texas sun overhead at noon, and hot where his arms wrapped around Jake's hips. He liked to sulk until Jake gave him what he wanted: a warm body to curl around, something solid between the sheets. 

“You knock out now, you’ll be up at three.”

“I’ll wake you up, too,” Bradley finally leaned back against the faded blue and white bedspread. He was already half-asleep. “You can amuse me.”

The fine faded lines of Bradley’s scars webbed over his cheek and down the strong line of his neck. The raised skin was easy to trace. Jake thought about what lay underneath often: sinew, blood vessels, and a mandible which worked itself tired whenever Jake forgot to return his calls. 

“Don’t you dare,” Jake dropped heavily onto Bradley’s stomach, earning a quiet huff from the man below. “I need my beauty sleep.”

“Plenty pretty enough.” Bradley’s stupid smooth charm caused Jake’s stomach to swoop in familiar thrill. He wished, sometimes, that he could hold onto the feeling. It was akin to doing loop-de-loops in the sky, of pointing the nose of the jet low and diving down. 

It always felt like a thing that could slip out of his fingers.

“Brought a change of clothes over for you,” Bradley mumbled; he placed a possessive palm over Jake’s hip, with a grip in the slippery material of his shorts. “So you don’t have to go home before we gotta be there.” 

Bradley had probably grabbed mismatched socks, but it was the thought that counted. He would gladly take the gesture if it awarded Jake a few more minutes of sleep.

Rooster ran hot even under the full blast of the air-conditioning. Jake unwrapped a greedy arm from his waist. “You ready for it?”

“Mhm,” Bradley fumbled for his pillow; his words were slow and slurred. “‘specially with you around.”

There would be no peace found in the next few weeks. He’d done this long enough: to be summoned back with the best of the best meant consequences. A success for him to chase with trade-offs. Jake sucked in a breath and watched the smooth blanket of sleep spread over Bradley’s face.

[goblinontour]

My Head, Your Chest

or what was supposed to be a study session

warnings: fetus!al, fluff, smut, munching, that’s it

word count: 7.6k

The notebook in your hands feels sticky. It’s only getting worse with every passing minute, and you can’t decide if it’s from the heating being turned all the way up or your growing distaste for the subject at hand. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the bonus heater lying between your legs right now — a mop of messy brown hair pressed to your stomach, radiating heat like he’s made of fire.  

He’s burning up. Burning you up, too. Your brain is overheating, and it’s mostly from the endless studying you’ve been at for what feels like decades — though it’s probably only been a couple of hours at best. But it’s also from him, from his fever that flared up a couple of hours ago — or rather, restarted.  

Alex got sick on Sunday, and now it’s Wednesday, and you haven’t seen him since that first day of misery. He’d stayed home, groaning into the phone about how he couldn’t come to class the next day because he was “in no state to show me face” and because he, quote, “don’t want ya to catch me death.” You’d rolled your eyes but kept your distance, though by Tuesday the missing him started to outweigh your good sense. And, apparently, his missing you did too.  

By the time Wednesday rolled around, you were both excellent at lying to yourselves. It’ll be fine. It’s just a cold. What’s the worst that could happen? So here you are now, stuck in a poorly ventilated room with his feverish body sprawled across you, the sticky notebook, and a mounting pile of regret that isn’t nearly strong enough to pull you away from him.  

“Yer not even lookin’ at the book anymore.” Alex mutters, his voice thick and groggy as he shifts slightly, his cheek brushing against your stomach.  

You glance down at him, his face flushed from the fever and his hair damp at the edges where it clings to his forehead. He looks utterly pathetic. And completely adorable.  

“You’re not exactly making it easy to concentrate.” you point out, tapping the edge of the notebook against his shoulder.  

“Not me fault.” he says, tilting his head up just enough to give you a lopsided grin you can’t even see. “You’re the one who insisted on revisin’ while I’m dyin’ here.”  

“You’re not dying.” you say, rolling your eyes but reaching down to brush a hand over his hair anyway. It’s warm — too warm — but the way he leans into your touch makes it impossible to pull away.  

“Feels like it.” he mumbles, closing his eyes.  

“You’re dramatic.” you counter, but your tone is soft, betraying you.  

He hums, something low and pleased, and nuzzles closer to your stomach. “Missed ya.” he says after a moment, his voice quieter now, like the admission costs him something.  

Your chest tightens, and you bite your lip to keep from smiling too wide. “Yeah.” you say, your fingers still threading through his hair. “I missed you too.”  

And there it is — the real reason you’re here, risking a cold or worse. Because the ache of not seeing him was worse than the ache of a sore throat or a runny nose could ever be.  

“You know,” you say after a moment, “if you’d just stayed in bed and let yourself get better, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”  

“Don’t care.” he murmurs, his words slurring slightly as his fever and exhaustion start to win out. “This is better.”  

And damn it, he’s right.

“What are you studying for anyway?” He doesn’t bother lifting his head, just peeks up at you through heavy-lidded eyes. “You never told me.”  

“Lit class.” you reply, flipping the page of your notebook with a sigh. You’re trying to focus, really, but the words keep swimming, your concentration slipping like sand through your fingers.  

He hums, soft and lazy, and the vibration of it buzzes against your skin. “Figures. You and your books.”  

There’s a warmth in his tone that makes your chest feel lighter, like maybe you’re not so annoyed at this assignment after all. Your fingers find their way into his hair again before you even realise what you’re doing, brushing through the mop of brown in slow, absentminded strokes. It’s soft, even though he hasn’t bothered washing it properly since he got sick, and the motion is soothing — more for you than him, probably.  

You feel his weight shifting as he turns his head. Before you even lower the notebook, you know what sight is waiting for you, and when you do — oh, there they are: two wide, ridiculously gorgeous puppy eyes staring up at you, full of a kind of innocence and curiosity that makes your heart ache. He blinks at you and, for a moment, you think you might melt into the mattress entirely. You’d keep him in your pocket if you could, tucked safely away where no one else could see him.  

“Literature, huh?” he asks, his voice soft and scratchy but tinged with amusement.  

“Yep.” you say, struggling to keep your focus on the…the…the notebook, right. But your gaze keeps drifting back to him, to the way his nose is scrunching up slightly, to the faint pinkness in his cheeks — whether from fever or you at this point, you can’t tell, but you really want it to be the latter.  

“You could help me, you know.” you blurt out before you can think better of it. “If you want this to go faster.”  

His brow furrows slightly, and he blinks again, slower this time. “Help?”  

“Yeah.” you say, gesturing vaguely at the notebook with your free hand. “I haven’t got a poet in my bed for nothing, you know.”  

He snorts, his nose wrinkling even further. “I’m no poet.” he mutters, his voice soft and sheepish.  

His pupils are blown wide now, and the faint flush on his face deepens. You can’t help but grin, biting your lip to keep from teasing him too much. He looks unbearably cute, so cute, all flustered and disheveled, and it takes everything in you not to lean down and kiss him right then and there. You want to bottle the image up and keep it forever. 

“Anyway.” he says quickly, his voice rising just slightly, 

There’s a pause, with a sniffle that’s only half-real.

“I don’t wanna rush you.”  

Twice.  

“Not much else we could do with the state I’m in anyway.”

The third one is loud and deliberate, as if to seal his point, followed by a tiny, self-satisfied smirk that he’s trying — and failing — not to show.  

You narrow your eyes at him, your lips twitching as you fight back a laugh. “Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be?”  

He just grins wider, and you shake your head, lowering the notebook to your chest, gently pressing it there with an exaggerated sigh.  

“Okay.” you say. “Goodbye, Mr. Poet.” you tease, and you’re smiling fully now as you try to bring the notebook back up, but two of his fingers reach up before you can and stop you.

He blinks at you, his grin faltering for a second, confused. “Goodbye?”  

“Yep.” Your hand turns out to be stronger than two little digits, so you raise the notebook, blocking his face from view, but not before you catch the faintest hint of pink creeping up his neck.  

“Don’t be mean.” he grumbles.  

You smile to yourself, hiding it behind the barrier. You don’t need to see him to know he’s smiling too.

He’s smiling, smiling, smiling like a fool, staring up at the ceiling lamp that hums and flickers faintly with the effort of staying on. But it’s not the dusty lightbulb above him that he sees. No, he’s not really seeing that. It’s you. His mind is too full of you. That image of you from ten seconds ago — your fingers still buried in his hair, your face tilted down, concentration etched into your features as you tried to make sense of whatever nonsense your notebook held — is branded behind his eyelids. Burned into his brain. A picture he doesn’t want to blink away. It’s like you didn’t even realise how tender you were being. 

She’s so pretty when she’s reading. And sleeping. And laughing.

You’re all he can think about. The way your nose crinkles when you tease him, the way your eyes soften when you think he’s not looking. She’s so pretty when…he thinks, the words tumbling through his head like a mantra.  

He feels his smile curve wider, his dry, cracked lips stinging at the corners — a small price to pay for the way his chest feels so light. His nose feels raw with each breath, like he’s inhaling sandpaper, and his throat is sore from the constant sniffles, but he doesn’t care. None of it matters, because you’re here, and he’s nestled between your thighs, and your hand is in his hair like you’ve forgotten it’s even there. The discomfort barely registers because his mind is stuck on one simple truth: She’s pretty all the time.

The heat of your body pressed against his is its own kind of medicine, in a way. You feel like the most perfect pillow to ever exist, your legs warm on either side of him like a blanket, the faint press of your hand against his scalp like the softest lullaby. His chest rises and falls slowly, the fever haze making him feel floaty, untethered — but then there’s you, keeping him right where he wants to be.  

If he could breathe properly, he thinks he’d let you smother him between your thighs if you asked. Hell, he might let you do it anyway. Nothing left to lose, right? Not when he’s already in your hands. Not that he’d tell you that, not out loud. He doesn’t even want to move. Not now, not ever. You’re soft, even where the curve of your thigh meets his jaw. He could stay here forever. He wants to stay here forever. You could tell him to stay right in that spot, and he’d agree in a heartbeat, all grins and lazy nods and whispered okay, yeah, whatever you want, babe.

He sighs, his smile lingering as his eyes flutter shut. But even in the darkness, you’re still there. You’re everywhere.  

And then, without warning, he lets out a soft huff of laughter, his chest barely rising with the effort.  

You glance down at him, raising an eyebrow. “What’s funny?”  

“Nothing.” he rasps, his voice low and scratchy, but the corners of his mouth twitch like he’s holding back another laugh, his nose scrunching up in that way you love.  

“Nothing?” you press, quirking an eyebrow.  

“Yeah, nothing.” He sniffles, then lets out another laugh, his shoulders shaking slightly. “Just…you. Us. This.”  

You roll your eyes, half-hearted. “You’re delirious.”  

“Probably.” he agrees, his grin widening. 

Your fingers, warm and gentle, return to his hair, and he practically melts into you, his smile softening into something quieter. His body goes slack, the tension in his muscles easing as you comb through the messy mop of brown strands. He hums softly, a low, contented sound that makes you feel like you must be doing something right.  

“You’re such a sap.” you tease, but your voice is just as soft as your touch.   

“And you love it.” he murmurs, his words slurring slightly.  

You can’t help the small laugh that escapes you. “Damn it. You’re right.”  

“Always am.”  

And then he smiles again, bigger this time, like he’s remembering something wonderful.  

“What now?” you ask.  

“Nothing.” His voice is soft, almost dreamy. “It’s just…you’re pretty. And warm. And I don’t wanna move.”  

Your chest tightens, and you can’t help but smile down at him, even though he can’t see it.  

“That’s fine.” you whisper. “You don’t have to.”  

You’re trying — really trying — to stay focused on the open notebook in front of you. The lines blur slightly, not from the light or your eyesight but because your brain keeps wandering to the boy sprawled between your legs. Your fingers trace over a sentence you’ve read at least five times now, pretending you’re annotating something important, but it’s mostly to stop your hand from drifting back into his hair.  

Your pen’s been bouncing against the page for the last five minutes, aimlessly doodling in the margins, and he’s been watching the rhythmic movement with a narrowed gaze. You’re doing your best to ignore him, trying to cling to whatever shred of productivity you can muster, but it’s a losing battle.  

He’s making it impossible to concentrate.  

“Y’know,” he says, voice muffled against your stomach, “you don’t have to keep pretending. We both know you’ve read the same sentence like, twenty times.”  

“I’m not pretending.” you argue, though the half-smile pulling at your lips betrays you.  

“You’re doodling stars.” he points out, glancing up and tilting his head like he’s caught you red-handed. “And...what is that? A smiley face?”  

“It’s a sun.” you correct, but it doesn’t help your case.  

He snickers. “Right. Big, happy sun. Sure. Sooo educational.”  

“Some of us care about passing, Alex.”  

“Some of us also care about not wasting time when we could be doing something way more fun.” he shoots back, raising a brow as if to challenge you.  

You roll your eyes, forcing yourself to look back at the book. “Just let me finish, okay?”  

He lets out a sigh and he melts further into you, turning his head so his cheek rests on your stomach. You can feel the faint tickle of his breath through your shirt.  

When you don’t respond, he sighs again, louder this time.  

“What?” 

“Nothing.” he says, drawing the word out, his tone soft and a little too innocent. “It’s just…you’ve been reading forever. And I’m bored.”  

“I told you I have to finish this.”  

“Yeah, yeah.” He waves a hand lazily in the air, like the excuse is flimsy and totally not worth acknowledging, but he at least has to pretend. “But you’ve gotta be done soon, right? What’s it been? Like, three hours?”  

“Try twenty minutes.”  

“Feels like three hours.” he mutters under his breath, dragging his cheek against your leg as if to emphasize the unbearable weight of time. “How much longer?” he whines.  

“Not much.” you reply.  

He’s purposefully pressing himself closer, as though to remind you of his presence. His fingers start drawing lazy shapes against your thigh, tracing little circles and stars that feel like they’re burning into your skin.  

He’s still shifting, still fidgeting, until finally- 

“Can you finish already?” His patience naps, and the next second he’s reaching out to pinch your left thigh just hard enough to make you yelp and jump.  

“Hey!” you exclaim, startled, and with the motion, his head tumbles off its happy place and lands unceremoniously on the mattress. “That hurt, Al!” you laugh, rubbing the spot where his fingers dug in.  

“Sorry.” he says, though the way his lips twitch tells you he’s not sorry at all. “Now come back ‘ere.”  

“Fine,” you mutter, mock-annoyed, even as your hands instinctively find their way to his hair again and the word is more soaked with affection than you intend. You don’t bother picking the notebook back up — there’s no point. He’s already won. 

He doesn’t say anything outright, doesn’t directly ask you to drop the studying altogether, but the way his hand reaches out, fingers brushing the back of your knee, says enough. It’s magnetic, the pull of him. And somehow, your hand decides it prefers the feel of sliding the notebook to the side, tucking it beneath the pillow, out of sight. Out of mind. Because the better sight — the prettier sight — is right here in front of you, and you’d much rather look at that.  

It’s hard to care about literature or studying or anything else when he’s looking at you like that, all soft and sleepy.  

“Happy now?” you whisper, and Alex’s grin widens.  

“Hi.” he whispers, small and soft and gentle. Your little secret. 

You can’t help but smile back. “Hi.” 

And just like that, it’s happening again. That thing where a single sound from his mouth manages to send little needles shooting across your skin, a rush of pinpricks so intense it’s almost unbearable. It’s like your body’s betraying you, begging for more of him, for another word, another breath, another touch.  

It’s dramatic, you know it is. Borderline ridiculous. But the worst part is, you can’t stop yourself. You need him to speak again, need it more than you need air, because if he doesn’t, you’re certain the whole world — not just your world, but the whole thing — will shatter.  

And it’s terrifying, the way you’ve given him this power, handed it over so willingly. He’s just one person. One little man with messy brown hair and sleepy eyes and a smile that could probably melt steel. He shouldn’t have the ability to do this to you, to make you feel like he’s holding the universe in the palm of his hand.  

But he does.  

Because he’s him. And he’s him in your world, too.  

“What?” he asks as he studies your face.  

“Nothing.” you say, shaking your head. Your voice wavers just enough to betray you.  

“Don’t look like nothing. You’re lookin’ at me funny.”  

“I’m not.”  

“You are.”  

“I’m not!” you insist, but you’re smiling now, and now he definitely knows he’s won.  

“Yeah, you are.” he teases, and his hand finds your thigh again, but this time it’s soft, his thumb brushing lazy circles into your skin. “What’re you thinkin’ about?”  

You hesitate, biting your lip as you look at him. His eyes are wide, and so warm you think you could fall into them and never come back.  

“Just you.” you admit finally, the words tumbling out before you can stop them.  

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

He doesn’t say anything, just looks at you like you’re the only thing in the world worth looking at right now. Then he leans up, his hand slipping from your thigh to your waist as he climbs up and presses his forehead to yours.  

“You’re too good to me.” he murmurs, his breath warm against your lips.  

You shake your head, a soft laugh escaping you. “I think you’ve got that backwards.”  

“Maybe.” he says, smiling again. “But I’m still gonna keep you. Or do me best to.”  

The needles are back, prickling every inch of your skin. You don’t fight them anymore because you’re not sure you’ve ever been happier to fall apart.

“Kiss me.” you say, no hesitation, no second-guessing. The words fall out of your mouth like they belong there, because they do. It’s not a question or a request, it’s a need. 

A simple fact. An urgent one.  

You’re not shy about it anymore, not nervous like you were the first few times. It’s the only thing on your mind, the only thing that’s been on your mind since the last time he kissed you. That was Sunday. Sunday. Three whole days too long without his lips on yours, without the weight of him pressed against you in the way only he can manage — clumsy. But perfect.  

And now you’re so close. He’s tilting his head, the corners of his mouth pulling up in a soft  smile as he leans in. His face is redder than usual, his nose runny and chapped from all the tissues, and his eyelashes are clumped together from the fever sweat he refuses to admit is still lingering. But he’s close now, so close you can feel the ghost of his breath brushing your lips, and you’re already bracing for the warm, electric touch of him.  

So close.

Almost there-

“Achoo!”  

The sneeze comes out of nowhere, loud and violent, and though it’s not directly in your face — it’s to the side, thank God — it echoes in your ears and leaves a faint ringing behind.  

Your lips feel colder now, colder than they have in days, and still untouched.  

“Bless you.” you whisper, trying not to laugh.  

He’s already resigned back to defeat. You can tell by the way he slumps against you, his body going boneless as his head drops onto your shoulder. His face presses somewhere between your neck and the pillow. His breath is still uneven from the sneeze.  

“Sorry.” he mutters.  

You really want to laugh, but instead, your heart twists a little. He’s so pitiful like this, all sniffly and congested, his hair sticking to his forehead and his body too warm where it’s draped over yours. And worse than that, you can feel it — the way he’s trying to burrow into you, his nose nuzzling the crook of your neck like it always does, only to stop.  

He can’t even smell you.  

His nose is too backed up, and he can’t even get a whiff of his favorite spot, that little patch of you where your perfume blends with your shampoo, where the natural scent of you is so strong it’s intoxicating. It’s his weakness, his favorite thing, and you know it drives him mad every time.  

Now, though, it’s like it’s just out of reach.  

“God, this sucks.” he groans, and the whine in his voice is almost enough to make you coo. “I can’t even smell you. Can’t kiss you. Can’t- ugh, I hate this.”  

“You’ll be fine.” you say softly, trying to soothe him.  

“No, I won’t.” he argues, his words muffled against your neck. “This is the worst day of my life.”  

“It’s just a cold, Al.”  

“It’s your cold now.” he counters, tilting his head to squint up at you. “’Cause I definitely gave it to you. So, really, I’ve ruined both our lives.”  

“Our cold.” you correct.  

“Mhm, yes, that’s more accurate.” he drawls, stretching out the syllables like he’s some sort of scholar, emphasising each one in a way that could almost be annoying.  

It works, though, because it puts another smile on your face, and he can’t get enough of that. Not now, not ever.  

He shifts against you, sliding around on you like a slippery eel in a way that feels both deliberate and entirely uncoordinated. He doesn’t know if it’s because his body feels like it’s made of jello or if he’s actually becoming jello, but either way, after much unnecessary wriggling, his journey ends with his face planted squarely between your boobs.  

Even his fever-ridden brain knows this is some kind of holy grail situation. He feels like Eve, staring at the apple. Too tempting. Too perfect. For a second, he’s completely still, like even his brain can’t comprehend the jackpot he’s just stumbled into. His breathing slows, and you swear you can almost see the little wheels turning behind his eyes. 

“Alex…” you warn softly, but he doesn’t budge.  

“Hmm?” he hums, his lips pressed to your shirt. He doesn’t even bother to lift his head, doesn’t even try to look apologetic. He inhales — or tries to, because his stuffy nose makes a pitiful little whistling sound — and then, without any further hesitation, he pulls himself closer.  

“Al.” you try again, but it’s too late.  

He gives in.  

He’s already gone.  

It starts with the softest little nuzzle, his nose brushing lazily against the fabric of your shirt, followed by a soft, open-mouthed kiss that sends goosebumps racing down your arms. Then, before you can say anything else, he takes it a step further, his teeth grazing you ever so lightly.  

“Ow!” you exclaim, though it doesn’t actually hurt. It’s more surprising than anything, but the sound only seems to encourage him.  

“Oh, really?” he murmurs, and then he does it again, this time with a little more bite, sinking his teeth in just enough to make you squirm.  

“Alex!”  

“I’m bored.” he says. He thinks that’s a perfectly valid excuse for whatever he’s doing.  

“So you’re taking it out on me?”  

“Mhm.”  

And just to drive the point home, his right hand joins the party. It lands on your other boob, the one he hasn’t nibbled yet, and he gives it a squeeze like he’s trying to test its density…or something.  

“Alex, do you mind?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.  

He looks up at you with those big, brown eyes, feigning innocence even as his fingers curl a little tighter around you. “What? I’m just…conducting an experiment.”  

“An experiment?” you repeat, deadpan.  

“Yeah.” he says, his grin widening. “It’s, uh, for science.”  

“For science?” 

“Exactly.” 

You roll your eyes, but you don’t stop him, and he knows it. He knows it because his grin turns softer, and his fingers give an extra little squeeze like he’s thanking you silently.  

“So now you’re a scientist and a poet?” you tease, trying to maintain some semblance of authority.  

“Multitalented.” he replies with a shrug, before nuzzling back into your chest.  

His fingers stay where they are, squeezing and testing and exploring, warm and curious and just shy of being inappropriate, and you know you should probably tell him to stop. But you don��t. Because you’re pretty sure you’d miss it if he did. 

“You’re comfy.” 

“You’re heavy.”  

He chuckles, the sound rumbling through his chest, and for a moment, everything feels perfect. Warm and lazy and messy in all the right ways. And if his hand tightens around you just a little more? Well, you’re not about to complain. 

“My head hurts.” he announces to the room like a royal decree. It’s meant for you, but maybe it’s also for the plushie sitting precariously on the edge of your desk, or the birds that might be outside, perched on the tree branches and peering in like nosy neighbors.  

“I don’t know…” you start, dragging the words out.  

He squints. “What?”  

“I always thought your head felt pretty good.”  

The room freezes.  

He gasps, the kind of exaggerated, cartoonish gasp that would make anyone else laugh, but the widening of his eyes and the way his ears turn red makes it clear it’s at least half genuine. “You dirty girl.” he says, scandalized, but with a grin that betrays him.  

You raise your hand, palm open and waiting.  

It takes him a second to catch on — he always takes a second — but when he does, he grins even wider, and his hand meets yours with a weak high five. It’s soft, almost an afterthought, but then his fingers linger, catching yours on the way down and sliding them between his, intertwining them. It’s second nature.  

It’s quiet.  

And then he says it.  

“Want me to give you head?”  

You blink.  

Now you’re the one going red. You weren’t trying to be dirty, not really. Or maybe you were, but not like that. Not like this. But here he is, taking your playful little jab and running with it, all the way into the realm of no return.  

Your hands fly up to your face like a shield. “Oh my god.” you mumble, voice muffled behind your fingers.  

He shifts, sitting up slightly so he can peer at you better, his smirk growing as he watches you squirm. “If you wanted me to eat your cunt,” he says, far too casually for the words coming out of his mouth, “you could’ve just said so.”  

You groan, sinking further into your hands, like maybe you can disappear into them if you try hard enough. “Oh my god.” you repeat, because what else is there to say?  

“Asking’s free.” he presses, leaning closer now, his voice dropping just a little, just enough to make your stomach flip. “Do you?”  

You hesitate. Not because you don’t want it, but because you do want it, and the fact that you do makes your skin burn.  

“Yeah.” you whisper, so quiet you’re not sure he even hears it.  

Of course he does.  

“Alright.” 

And suddenly, his hands are on your thighs, warm and steady, and he’s smiling at you in that way that makes you feel like the whole world has shrunk down to just the two of you. His feverish warmth is radiating off of him, and it’s like you can feel his heartbeat through his palms.  

He leans in, his nose brushing against your arm as he nuzzles closer, and you can’t help but shiver, your hands still half-hiding your face.  

“Don’t be shy now.” he teases, his voice low and rough. “You started this, remember?”  

 “Okay. Okay.” You exhale deeply, as if the sound itself can steady your nerves. You’re psyching yourself up, trying to convince yourself that this is fine, that this is normal. It’s not like you haven’t done this before. It’s also not like it doesn’t make you nervous every single time.  

“Mm.” he hums. He’s looking at you, not touching yet, just…looking. His eyes are heavy-lidded but sharp, scanning every detail, and it’s enough to make your skin tingle. 

Then his hand reaches out to find the waistband of your leggings, pinching the fabric lightly between two fingers before letting it snap back against your skin with a soft, harmless pop.  

“We’ll take this off, I think.” he murmurs.  

“You think?” you ask.  

With his fingers already hooked in the band, he tilts his head and smirks. “Yeah.” he says, nodding slightly. “I think so.” He pauses, though, his hands stilling for just a moment. “Is that okay?”  

You nod, your fingers brushing over his as you whisper, “Yeah. That’s okay.”  

“Alright.” he says, more to himself than to you. 

He pulls, inching the leggings down your hips, over your thighs, and you can feel every soft graze of his knuckles against your skin as he works them down. His eyes follow the path of the fabric, drinking in every inch of skin that’s revealed, and you can feel the heat of his gaze as much as you feel the cool air brushing over you.  

“You’re teasing me.” you accuse, a little breathless.  

“Am I? Maybe. Can you blame me?”  

You roll your eyes, but it doesn’t do much to hide the flush creeping up your neck.  

He tugs the leggings all the way off, letting them drop to the floor in a heap before his hands find your thighs again. He doesn’t rush. He doesn’t need to. The way he’s looking at you makes your whole body buzz with warmth. 

“You’re so-” He stops himself, biting back the words with a small shake of his head, like even saying them out loud would be too much for him.  

“So what?” you ask.  

His hands tighten just slightly and he lets out a breathy laugh. “Just. You.” He shrugs, his grin turning sheepish. “You’re so you.”  

It’s such a ridiculous thing to say, and yet it makes your heart flutter like crazy. 

“So perfect.” he whispers, and the sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. 

His fingers keep their steady rhythm, tapping lightly on your inner thighs, playing a melody only he knows. It’s calming and maddening all at once, especially when he leans down, his lips brushing over the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. It’s barely a kiss, more of a whisper of warmth, but it’s enough to send a shiver rippling through you.  

Then another. And another.  

Trailing higher and higher. 

Each kiss is unhurried, as if he’s got all the time in the world, as if this moment deserves its own pace, one that matches the quiet intimacy building between you. His lips linger longer with each press, warm and slightly chapped, and when his nose brushes against your skin, you can’t stop the little gasp that escapes you.  

“Okay?” he asks softly, his voice tinged with just a hint of nervousness.  

You nod, feeling your throat tighten as his thumbs press just a bit more firmly into your thighs, holding you open. “Yeah.”  

His lips curve into a faint smile. He doesn’t say anything. He just tilts his head and kisses higher, closer, each touch of his mouth a little bolder. And when he stops for a second, you see him wet his lips with a quick flick of his tongue before diving back in.  

You’re sure it’s an unconscious move, but it makes something hot twist in your belly.  

His hands are still on your thighs, fingers tracing slow, aimless patterns, and then he hooks them on the sides of your underwear. He hesitates, looking up at you again, his brows slightly furrowed in an almost boyish way.  

“Can I?” he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper.  

“Yes.” 

He tugs gently. The process is far from seamless. The fabric catches on his fingers, then again around your knees, and he fumbles with it, muttering under his breath.  

“Damn things are stubborn.” he grumbles, and you bite back a laugh. “Sorry.” he says before finally managing to slide them all the way off. He holds them in his hand for a moment like he’s not quite sure what to do with them before tossing them aside with a sheepish grin.  

“So smooth.”  

“Hey, I got there in the end, didn’t I?”  

“A little clumsy.” you tease.  

“Yeah, well…” He trails off as his gaze lowers, and the words seem to leave him altogether.  

He’s staring, openly, unabashedly, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, and you can see the exact moment it hits him. That oh my god, I’m the luckiest guy in the world look that makes your cheeks burn and your heart stutter. His tongue darts out again, wetting his lips like he’s preparing to say something. He doesn’t. He just looks.  

“Alex.” you murmur, your voice trembling just a little.  

He blinks, as if snapping out of a trance, and shakes his head. “Sorry.” he says. He doesn’t stop looking. “It’s just…you’re so…”  

His voice trails off, and you think for a second that he won’t finish the sentence. But then he does, in a voice so soft you almost don’t catch it. 

“You’re so beautiful.”  

The words tumble out of him like they can’t be helped, and they land so softly, so tenderly, that you feel them wrap around your chest like a warm blanket. It hits you square in the chest, the way he says it, like he’s not just describing how you look but how you are.  

“Am I doing okay so far?” he asks, his lips twitching into a teasing grin.  

You laugh, though it’s shaky. “Yeah. You’re doing fine.”  

“Fine?” he echoes, raising an eyebrow. “I’m aiming for better than fine.”  

You shake your head, unable to stop smiling. “You’re doing perfectly.” you admit, and his grin widens.  

“Good.”  

His gaze dips again, and he licks his lips one more time before lowering himself closer. His breath brushes over you and when his lips meet your skin again you can’t stop the shiver that runs through you.  

He doesn’t miss it.  

“You’re shaking.” he murmurs, glancing up at you with a look that’s equal parts concern and smugness.  

“I’m fine.” you manage, but your voice wavers, and he smirks.  

“Perfect, huh?” he teases, echoing your earlier words.  

You don’t answer. You can’t, not when his hands squeeze your thighs again and his lips are so close, so maddeningly close, that you feel like you might burst from the anticipation.  

And then he whispers, so softly it’s almost like he’s talking to himself, “God, I’m so fucking lucky.”  

His mouth presses against you, and the first touch of his tongue is both heaven and hell. It’s soft at first, as though he’s trying to map you out, figure out what makes you tick. But it doesn’t take long for him to find his rhythm, and when he does, it’s devastating.  

You don’t understand how something so simple can feel so good. It frustrates you to your core, quite literally, that you can’t wrap your head around it — how his tongue, just a part of him, can undo you so completely. It’s maddening. It’s blissful. And worst of all, you know it will eventually have to stop.  

But not yet.  

His tongue moves with purpose now, parting a slick, wet path that makes your legs tremble. Any softness is gone when he presses harder, sliding his tongue into you, and it’s enough to make you gasp out loud. Your hips buck, but his hands are firmer, fingers digging into the plush of your thighs to keep you in place.  

You feel the press of his nose against your clit, unrelenting, as he works his mouth on you. It’s not gentle — nothing about this is gentle. It’s messy and hot and overwhelming, and you’re not sure what’s holding you together anymore.  

Your hands find their way into his hair, threading through the messy strands, and you pull. Hard. His groan vibrates against you, the sound sending shockwaves through your body, and you tug again just to feel it one more time.  

The room feels stuffy, the air thick with heat and the heady weight of everything happening between you. You’re panting, your chest rising and falling rapidly, and it feels like there’s not enough oxygen in the world to keep up with what he’s doing to you.  

“Alex.” you gasp, his name spilling from your lips like a prayer, like a plea.  

His response is a growl against you, muffled but unmistakable, and he doubles down, his tongue and lips moving with a newfound urgency.  

“Fuck.” you whimper, your voice breaking as your thighs clamp around his head, but he doesn’t falter. If anything, he leans in harder, his tongue plunging deeper, and the obscene sounds of him working you over fill the room.  

Your body feels like it’s on fire, and you can’t help but arch into him, chasing the sensation, chasing him. You’re not even sure when your fingers started digging into his scalp, but you feel the way he groans again, the vibration traveling straight through you.  

“Please-” you choke out, though you’re not sure what you’re asking for. More? Less? A moment to catch your breath?  

“Fuck.” he mutters, pulling back just enough to speak, his lips brushing against your skin. “You’re gonna rip it all out, aren’t you?”  

“Maybe.” you manage to say, your voice breathless and shaky.  

But Alex doesn’t stop. He doesn’t let up for a second, and when his tongue flicks just right and his nose grinds against that perfect spot that makes your toes curl, your head falls back, and your vision blurs.  

“Fuck, Alex…” you cry, your voice trembling, your body trembling. Everything feels wet and hot and unbearable in the best way.  

You tug at his hair one last time, harder than before, and he groans like it’s the best thing he’s ever felt. 

His mouth is everywhere and nowhere at once. His tongue slides deep, slow, deliberate, like he’s trying to write something inside you, but you can’t read it. You can’t think. All you know is the way his nose bumps against you every time he presses forward, and it’s like an accident he keeps having on purpose. He pulls back, just a little, and you think maybe he’s going to stop, but then he tilts his head and dives back in. It’s messy, wetter than it probably needs to be, but that only makes it better. The sound of it fills the room, fills your ears, fills your head.  

“There-” you gasp.  

He hums against you, the vibration sending sparks through every nerve in your body. You’re not sure if it’s a response or if he’s just satisfied with himself, but you don’t care. It feels too good to care.  

His nose nudges against you again, harder this time, and your hips jerk up without permission. His fingers tighten on your thighs, holding you down, keeping you where he wants you.  

“Stay still.” he murmurs, his voice muffled by you.  

You don’t stay still. You can’t.  

It’s too much and not enough all at once. Your thighs are trembling. You don’t know how much more you can take.  

“Come on.” he murmurs against you, his breath hot and humid. “Let me have it.”  

You don’t think you could stop yourself even if you wanted to. Your thighs clamp around his head, and your back arches, and everything inside you feels like it’s shattering and coming back together all at once.  

His tongue keeps moving, and his hands keep holding, and when you finally come undone, it’s all his. Every last bit of it.  

You’re gasping, trembling, your hands still tangled in his hair, and he’s still there, still licking, still taking everything you have to give.  

“Fuck…” you whisper, your voice barely audible, and he pulls back just enough to look up at you again.  

He’s grinning, his lips shiny and red, and he looks so damn proud of himself.  

“Hi.” he says, his voice soft and teasing, and you can’t help but laugh, even though you’re still catching your breath.  

“Hi.” you manage to say back, your voice weak but warm.  

And then he leans forward, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh — maybe you should let him stay there forever. 

“That was quick.” His voice is soft, laced with a little shyness and something hopeful he’s trying to hide. “Was it good?”

You’re still still floating somewhere far away in the haze he’s left you in. Words are a struggle, but you manage to muster, “Yeah, yeah.” You sound as wrecked as you feel. “Good.”  

He smiles. “Good.”  

You don’t say anything, but your fingers curl gently into his hair, holding him there for just a second longer, as if to tell him without words: I don’t want you to move.

But he does. Slowly, his lips trace a path upward, leaving soft, fleeting kisses along your skin. Each one feels like a promise, like he’s trying to tell you something he doesn’t have the words for. When he finally reaches your face, he pauses, hovering close enough that you can feel his breath against your lips.

“Can I?” he whispers, even though he doesn’t need to.

You nod, barely moving, and that’s all he needs. He closes the space between you, his mouth soft and warm against yours.

He’s savoring it. And then you taste it — you. The faint, lingering remnants of yourself on his lips, and it makes something in you twist and melt all at once. You kiss him deeper, your hands slipping down to cup his jaw, and he sighs into it. He’s been waiting for this moment as much as you have.

It’s messy and sweet, his nose brushing against yours, his lips moving against yours like they’ve always belonged there. You pull back for a breath, but he chases you, pressing another kiss to the corner of your mouth, then another to your cheek. He can’t bear to let you go.

“You taste good.” he murmurs, his voice barely audible, and the way he says it isn’t teasing — it’s awestruck, like he’s genuinely been left amazed.

You watch as he wipes his chin and mouth with the back of his hand, but then his nose scrunches, and his face freezes. “Oh no…” he mumbles, already covering half his face with one hand while the other gestures toward the nightstand. “Gimme the-”  

It takes you a second to catch on, your blissed-out brain working slower than usual, but then you see where he’s pointing. “Oh! Here” you say, grabbing the tissues and passing them over.  

“Thanks.” he mutters, barely getting the word out before he sneezes into a wad of crumpled white. Twice. The force of it rocks him forward, and you can’t help but laugh softly as he sniffles, wiping at his nose like a kid.  

“Bless you.” you say, your voice still a little breathy.  

He looks at you through watery eyes, his cheeks flushed from the sneezes or maybe from everything else. “Thanks.”  

You think he’s done, but then he takes another handful of tissues and surprises you by leaning down. His movements are gentle, careful, as he wipes between your legs and up your thighs. It’s clumsy and sweet, and your heart squeezes in your chest at the sight of him being so tender.  

“You don’t have to-” you start to say, but he cuts you off.  

“I know.” he says, his voice soft, almost sheepish. “But I want to.”  

You let him, how could you not?  

Once he’s done, he gets up to toss the tissues in the trash, and you take the opportunity to tug your leggings back up, your hands working quickly before he turns back around.  

When he does, he looks at you for a moment, his hair a mess and his cheeks still pink. There’s something soft in his eyes, something warm that makes you feel tight all over in the best way.  

“You okay?” he asks, his voice quiet but sincere.  

“Yeah.” you say, smiling up at him. “Are you?”  

He grins, a little lopsided, a little tired. “Always, with you.”  

Your face heats at the words, and you roll your eyes to cover it up. “Cheesy.”  

“True.” he counters, plopping down next to you on the bed.  

He’s close, so close, and you feel his warmth as he leans his head against your shoulder, his hair tickling your cheek. “What now?” he asks, his voice low and a little hoarse.  

“Rest.” you say simply, because he looks like he needs it, and maybe you do too.  

“Rest sounds good.” he agrees, his eyes already half-closed.  

a/n: I feel like the smut is lowkey bad lmao. Anyway. Based on some requests I cannot find right now but someone said something about pegging sick al once and another was about tutoring and I did neither of those here but they did inspire it!

[peachidin]

Crawlin' back to you

Maybe I’m too busy being yours, to fall for someone new.

Poe Dameron x f!reader

Rated M- 5.7k

Divider by @/saradika

tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, use of nickname "Blue" for reader, strong language, physical fight (not with MMC), cheating (not by MMC or FMC), rival pilots, unprotected piv, cream pie, praise kink, yearning Poe, ass smacking, hair pulling, we love a reader in charge!

Authors Note: Hello! As I was writing this story, "We could be together, if you wanted to" has gained some traction, so thank you all for liking my work! This idea of a yearning and pining Poe hit me, so I had to make it happen. For context, in this story there are three squadrons with order importance, Black squad, Red Squadron and Blue Squadron. Black and Red squad work on high importance missions and are ranked 'higher' than Blue Squad, which leads you, dear reader, to the story! I hope you enjoy "Crawlin back to you" as it is spicier than the others, and I hope to update "On the run (with you)" soon! As usual, I haven't reread this, I just post and hope for the best. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you!

It was only meant to be a one time thing. 

A one time thing a month ago.

You gasp as Poe’s lips attach to yours with fervor, his tongue sliding parting your lips as his hands roam underneath your long sleeve. Your legs wrap around his waist tightly, making it oh so easy to arch yourself against the growing hardness in his pants as presses you harder into the wall of his room.

Allegedly, Poe Dameron never spent the night more than once with a lover. 

This was the third time this week you've met. 

He pulls back, gasping for air before his lips attach to your neck, licking and sucking that sweet spot below your ear so harshly you almost came on the spot. 

“Poe, wait-” 

He pulls back immediately, his lust darkened eyes meeting yours eagerly. “What is it, baby?” He hums, rubbing his thumbs on the soft skin of your thighs as he waits for, honestly, anything you want.

You smile, shaking your head as your hands thread through the soft curls on his head. This was a dangerous game, you realized. He was someone you couldn't have, no matter how addictive he was.

“I have a flight maneuver early tomorrow, I should head back to my room.” You reply back, letting your fingers drift towards the hot skin of his neck one final team before lowering them  to his chest, patting it gently. His hands gave you one last squeeze before he lowered you to the floor, taking a few seconds to pull your shirt down to where it normally sat. 

He was sweet.

It was dangerous.

Poe smiles softly, almost bashfully, “Wouldn't want you to miss out on sleep.” He agrees, but his hand still lingers on your waist. One word and you could have another night of pleasure.

You nod, gently stepping away from him and gathering your pants from off the floor, quickly stepping into them as you move around his room to collect your few belongings. “I promise I didn't come here just for this, I swear I had an actual question-” You begin to ramble, suddenly feeling the need to explain yourself, why you showed up so late. 

Maker, you have never acted like this before.

Poe shakes his head, moving to sit on his bed as he watches you move through his space. “It’s fine, I’m always glad to be of service to you.” He grins good naturedly, not a trace of sarcasm escaping him. You pause in front of him, mouth opening to say anything to relieve this tension between you both. 

You come up empty.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” You say softly, giving him a small wave, as if this man were just some regular pilot and not the man who gave you back to back orgasms just the night before. Poe chuckles softly, his head dropping forward before he begins to stand up, joining your side as you both move towards the door. 

“Sure, Blue.” He responds softly, and you can feel his hand lingering on the small of your back as you step out of his room, the sensation burning into your skin as his touch so often did. You turn around to face him, to try and explain the visit again, but his eyes are already locked onto yours and stealing any words you could have formed from your mouth. The air between you was thick, electricity striking your body with every noise coming from around you in the living quarters. Poe bites his lip as he raises a hand to your face as if to cup your cheek, the motion so quick you barely had time to close your eyes before a small flick hits the end of your noise.

You let out a shocked gasp as he laughs.“Be safe tomorrow, okay? Don't do anything stupid like you usually do when you get stressed.” The bedroom door slides to a close before your eyes even open again. A huff of irritation leaves your lips at his childishness, but you can't help the smile on your face as you take the long walk back to your own quarters. Even within your living space, there was no tie to the man. His room is filled with posters and plans strewn about his floors. The thick smell of cologne that almost seemed to hover like its own atmosphere. His room was so like him, warm, well lived, and well loved. Your room was bare boned. A bed and desk. Stacks of files for missions and maps coordinating future attacks organized by dates on your dining table. Straightlaced and to the point. This was who you both were. Two entities that orbited around one another but never should have met.

This was how it should have stayed.

The admired Black Squadron leader.

The calculated Blue Squadron leader.

The Blue Squadron was only a few achievements short of being on equal par with your fellow Squadrons. Poe and the Black Squadron were the primary team for any rebellion led missions, Red following as second in command. Today was your first chance of the year to prove to the general your squad was more than capable of handling complex missions, to be given the same opportunities as the Black and Red Squadrons. Your team was ready, you had been practicing for months now, and you felt it was now or never to prove to the rebellion what an asset Blue Squadron is.

And you blew it.

It was a standard attack formation, one you had prepped for so many times before. One you could do in your sleep. Your fingers moved robotically as you adjusted your coordinates, your team flying perfectly behind you. Your hand skims over the edge of the tiller, and before you realize it, your mind is drawn back into a memory of the other night.

Poe lying beneath you, his chest heaving as he bites his knuckles, your hand squeezing at his length with nervousness as you tried to sink yourself down onto him. “You couldnt mess this up if you tried, baby.” He had said to you, his hand resting on the back of your neck as you moved hesitantly against him. 

“I don't know, he didn't think I was good at this-” Your words are cut off as his lips sear into yours, his hand threading through your hair to crush your face to his. Your muffled gasp is replaced by a small moan as he sheaths himself into you, already hitting that sweet spot with ease.

“I dont give a fuck what he thought, youre perfect, Blue.” He had hissed, bucking his hips up harshly to draw out another whimper from you.”Say it.” Poe demands, gripping your hips as he plows into you from below, your hands holding onto his shoulders tightly as you nod.

“I’m perfect,” You whisper, trying to muffle your cries against his neck as the sound of your skin connecting reverberated through his quarters. Poe moans in encouragement and you have the desire to bottle up that sound for yourself. 

“Fuck yes, y-your perfect baby, so perfect for me-” He gasps, his thrusts becoming sloppy as his breath begins to come out in shorter spurts. Poe leans forward, pressing hot kisses along your chest, biting into the soft flesh of your breasts. You cry out louder, your climax nearing at a rapid pace as he pounds into you.

“P-Poe, please-”

“Please what baby, where do you want me?”

Another thrust has your vision darkening, a buzz sounding in your ear as he fucks into you harder. It was stupid. This wasn't meant to happen again. Not after the first time. But you were always a sucker for complexities. You brush your lips against his jaw, kissing messily along his skin before whispering into his ear.

“I want you to finish in me, I want you to be the first.”

If Poe wasn't gone before, he was now. His thrusts grew harsher, his fingers bruising your hips as he slams into you, mumbling incoherently. “Fuck, you want me to cum in you so bad, my perfect girl-” He groans, moving one of his hands to your slick folds to rub hard and fast against you. A sharp scream leaves your throat and you topple against his chest, your body pulsing around him tightly as you reach your orgasm. You can feel the last few thrusts before hot spurts coat your insides, Poe whimpering as his head falls against your shoulder, his back heaving as he tries to catch his breath. You tilt your head back. Your eyes glazed over with satisfaction as you both ride out your high together. You let out a little laugh and his hand quickly smacks your ass, Poe’s muffled voice coming from below you.

“I’m sensitive, you sadist.” He growls, and now you can't help the tumble of laughter pouring out from you. Poe lifted his head to glare up at you, but in that moment, your smile was so bright he couldn't help but chuckle along with you.

You shake the memory from your head, your squadron already approaching the final bend sooner than you anticipated.

“Focus, Blue, focus.” You whisper to yourself, watching your squad carefully as you begin your turn. It was sharp, but even a rookie could get through this, and you soar through it with ease. Next was more difficult, but you had practiced, you knew the formation like the back of your hand by now. You carefully lock your X-wing in, breathing out slowly as you wait for the harsher turn. The mind was always so fickle, that's why you preferred equations and plans. You could feel yourself slipping back into that same memory, a heat pooling in your lower belly. Then you hear that maker's damned voice once more.

“One more baby, give me one more.-”

“My sweet girl, taking me so perfectly-”

“I could stay in you forever-”

A hard jolt shoved you deeper into your seat, your X-wing began losing altitude. Your squad's voices blaring through your comms, overwhelming your mind as you tried to straighten your ship. 

“Squad leader-”

“You’ve been hit!”

“Land now-”

And as if your ego couldn't take enough of it, that same voice from your mind rings out, but this time unfortunately through your headset like the others.

“What the hell are you doing, Blue?!”

Your teeth grind together as you pull yourself back into place, barely registering the sound of the flight tower calling your squadron back to base. Everyone was down there. Everyone had seen. 

Cold sweat began to drip down your neck as you carefully took the time to land your X-wing, mechanics quickly running over to assess the damage to the outside exterior. You huff as you climb down the ladder, shaking your hair out of your hemet and relishing in the open air as you struggle to take deep breaths. You can hear your crew clambering to get to you, and you can hear their questions already.

What happened?

What happened?

What happened?

“Blue, what happened?”

Your eyes snap up to meet those soft brown ones you had come to know so well. Poe was gripping your shoulders tightly, his fingers digging into you whether he noticed or not. Your relief at seeing him was short lived as you remembered just why you crashed. 

“I’m fine, Dameron.” You snap, shaking his hands off of you. Poe looks at you first with worry, then agitation. 

“Obviously you're not fine, Blue. You could do this course in your sleep and you crashed!” He hisses, clenching his hands at his side. You frown, and begin to respond before another set of hands grip your shoulder. You only needed one look at Poe's glowering face to know who it was. One you had done so well at avoiding until now.

Red One.

Poe's second in command.

“Hey, what happened up there? You okay?” He asks quickly, his eyes raking over your appearance.You force a smile, brushing him off with ease. 

“Honest mistake, I was-” Your eyes flickered to Poes before returning to the helmet in your hand, “I was just distracted was all.” 

Red One was born on a planet near yours, the commonality making you both acquaintances in flight school. You both studied vigorously, and desired high marks, yet somehow both of you were always beaten by the one named Poe Dameron. The three of you grew and eventually joined the rebellion, him and Dameron taking over the Black and Red Squadron while you were assigned Blue. Despite the large amount of rebellion members, it was easy for you to drift back to him, the reassurance of something familiar in your life. While Poe was off gallivanting with his squadron across the galaxy, you both worked together on unit tactics. It wasn't long before you both began to reach for one another, quick meaningless acts of pleasure when it was needed. It was easy for it to mean nothing to you, because you both knew this wasn't forever, but at least you had one another.

It worked then.

Until Poe came around again. 

Poe was always smart, but he was also warm, and charismatic. People were drawn to him like the sun, wanting a chance to feel that splendor for themselves. Despite the fact everyone wanted to be around him, after a recent 5 month journey he had decided to follow only you around aimlessly. 

“Dameron, don't you have someone else to bother?” You muttered, clutching new plans from the general tightly to your chest. Poe walked behind you with a grin, his hands carelessly tucked into his jacket pockets as he kept up with you.

“When was it a rule that I couldn't spend time with a fellow squadron leader?” He retorts, gently nudging your shoulder with his own. You let out an exhausted sigh, rounding the hallway corner into the row of living quarters right before yours. Maybe you thought you could evade him, you weren't sure, but what you didn't expect was the door nearest you to slide open with a smooth hiss, giving you a clear look into the room. You stop so abruptly Poe barely had time to avoid colliding with your back. 

“What the fuck, Blue-” He complains before glancing down to your face. Your eyes stared blankly into the room, one you had become very familiar with over the years.

Red One’s, now occupied by the pilot himself and a mechanic you recognized from the Droid depot, clothes littering the floor as they cling to each other near the door. Red One's eyes widen and he curses, fumbling around to slip back into his flight suit. 

Now normally, Poe would make a sly comment, or laugh off the awkwardness with ease. But he couldn't. Not when he saw the expression you were making. Despite his games and jokes, he knew you well. Poes fist tightened as he stalked into the room, shoving Red One back a step. “Now, why the fuck would you do this?” He growls darkly, his brown eyes darkening with rage. You weren't sure if you have ever seen Poe like this, not even after a failed mission. Poe never resorted to violence. Never.

You move quickly, stumbling forward to grab onto his arm, tugging him back. “It's fine Poe, it's not that serious-”

“Not that serious? He had the best damn pilot in the rebellion and it wasn't serious to him?” His words make you pause, heat rushing to your cheeks as you tighten your hand on Poe's arm, giving him one last tug. 

“Blue, I can explain-”

“It's fine Red, we're going now.” You respond calmly, carefully dragging Poe out of the room until the door can slide shut. Poe tugs you along swiftly moving down hall after hall until you recognize the path to your own living space. Your hand was still on Poe’s arm, and you could feel his body shaking underneath. 

“Poe, it’s fine-” 

“How long were you two together?” He asks, his tone softer now than it was previously. You glanced up at him, his brown eyes soft once more as they bore down into your own. You blink quickly, thinking of just how many months it had been. 

“Since our first mission to Nevarro.” You answer honestly, and you don't know what to think about the string of curses that leave his lips. “Why does it matter, Poe? It was just a fling-”

“Was it just a fling to you?” He asks suddenly, his gaze hot and piercing. You try to answer, to conjure up some response, but all you can do is shake your head. “We both got what he wanted, and I'm actually surprised he waited this long to find someone else.”

 The look of anger that flashes across his face has your brows furrowing, unsure of why it bothered him so deeply. You open your mouth to speak again before Poe lets out a deep sigh, turning to face you fully as his back rests against the metal wall. His hand reaches up slowly, gently touching the soft skin of your cheek. 

“Still, are you okay?” He asks in a gravelled tone, continuing to stroke your skin with small movements. His touch was far different from Reds, you quickly realized. Red touched you briskly, his hand roaming over your body as if you would disappear. 

Poe touched you with reverence. He kept his movements small, keeping contact with your skin as if you were his center of gravity. “He's an idiot, Blue, you can do so much better than him. He can't even coordinate a landing path to Jakku without using a droid.” A surprised laugh tumbles past your lips, pleasing Poe as he stares down at you. 

“And you can't fly a straight shot to Crait even if you tried.” You shoot back, a smile still tugging at your lips. Poe’s eyes soften as you laugh before him, your usual icy exterior melting away to that young pilot he once knew so many years ago. He takes a breath, biting his lip before he speaks in a soft whisper. “I would have made you my second, if it was my choice.”

You can't control the deep flush that rush to your cheeks as you hear him. “Red is a good second in command, I still have a lot to learn-”

“You think I don't know who drafts our tactile formations? I could practically see you solving the broken flight patterns while reading them.” His voice grows more firm, demanding you to accept his praise. “I can only be a good leader with someone like you supporting me, and I'm sorry they don't realize it yet.” 

You don't cry. You don’t even cry as Poe leans in closer to you, his hand cupping your cheek as he coos words of praise to you in the dimly lit hallway. Red never acknowledged the work you did, smooth talking his way into putting his name on the plans alongside yours. You would shrug it off, under the impression if one Squadron succeeds surely the other would too. This never changed even when he began to take more missions farther out into the galaxy, while you and your squad stayed back, waiting for the chance to chart your own paths.

The truth now laid out so plainly in front of you.

You had been used.

What did you want? Had you wanted Red to choose you? Only you? Did you ever even think you would have options?

Your hands tighten into fists, sharp pain shooting through your hands. Poe pulls back with a lazy smile on his face, but it quickly falters as he sees the scowl etched onto your face. “Hey what's wrong Blue, did I overstep? I’m sorry-”

“I want you to fuck me.”

Poe's mouth hangs open as your words hit his ears, sending palpitations straight to his chest. “You want me to…”

“I want you to fuck me, yes.”

Poe can't help but chuckle as he shakes his head, his hand covering his face as he inhales deeply. “You don't want that, Blue, you're just mad and understandably so-”

“I am choosing this, Poe Dameron, I am choosing you to make me feel something. I know it's just a one time thing with you, I want one night”

Well, now this was an interesting statement. 

This he could work with. 

Poe tries to quell the smile tugging at his lips as he leans back, knocking his fingers on the cool metal wall as if it could cool down the heat racing through him. “Just one? I'm afraid you'll end up wanting more, Blue.” He murmurs, taking the chance to glance back down at you. Your eyes meet his, fiery and unwavering. Maker, you meant it. Poe tried to stifle the groan threatening to spill out of him.

“One night, I just want one night.” You promise, stepping in even closer to him. With one deep breath, your chest would rub against his, and you tried to ignore the shaky breaths emitting from the man before you. 

“But I want to set some ground rules first.” You say in a soft voice, moving your hand so it begins to trail up his arm. Poe can only nod as he stared down at you, captivated by your movements. 

“This happens in your room, I don't need you making a mess of my space.” Poe can't help the snort that leaves his mouth, but he nods his head anyways. “Two, I want to be in charge.” You were proud of how little your voice wavered as you spoke, “I get to decide how this goes.” 

Your words make Poe's jaw twitch. How often did you get what you wanted with Red?

“I promise I will be your devoted servant.” He agrees, reaching for your hand and pulling it to his lips, placing a slow and sensual kiss on your pulse. 

Maker, this was going to be harder than you thought. 

“This is a one time thing, we don’t acknowledge it after, and we dont let it change our working relationship.” 

Poe's throat only constricts a little before he nods, “Of course.” He drops your hand gently, waiting for you.

Now Poes stares at you with a burning look in his gaze, his jaw clenched as he stares between you and Red One. 

“Distracted? Blue, you could have hurt yourself.” He hisses, running a hand through his hair in an irritated manner. You frown, noticing the crowd gathering around you all now. 

“It was a mistake, a stupid one, but I’m fine-”

“Maybe if you weren't so busy sleeping with our Squad leader you wouldn't have messed up.” The insult stabs through your chest. You turn slowly to face Red One, a grim look on his face as he sighs before continuing, “I really thought you were smarter than this Blue, you really couldn't wait for me to explain what happened before you just moved on to the next available guy who would fuck you-”

You honestly aren't sure who moved first. One minute your hearing began to ring, your heart thundering in your chest, and then here you were, standing over a bleeding Red. Your fist felt like it was on fire but honestly, you didn't care. Then you feel Poe’s arms wrap around your waist, tugging you back as people begin to shout, surging in to watch the scene. 

“All those years I spent underneath you were absolute shit compared to what Poe’s made me feel in one month-” You spit out, years of rage boiling over as you watch Red sit up, his hand shakily touching the blood pouring out of his nose. “And I hope you can prove you know how to draft a mission plan because I’m going first thing tomorrow to get your name removed from all of my work, my work.” You seeth, tugging against Poe's grip one last time. You can feel his face near yours, his nose gently running along your cheek as he squeezes your arms gently. “Let's get out of here, Blue.” He whispers, and you nod, giving Red one last glare before moving through the parting crowd. You swear you can almost hear cheers as you and Poe enter the flight squads quarters, shutting yourself off from the rest of the world. 

You feel yourself enter a room, and you finally feel the world unblurring as you realize Poe brought you back to your own quarters. You can feel him gently pull at your clothes, removing your flight suit with great care, reaching into your drawers to find some comfortable clothes he slips onto your body without an ounce of alternative means. A sudden hiss leaves your lips as he bumps his hand against your injured one, and he quickly moves you to your bed. He curses before you, kneeling between your legs as he tentatively grabs your hand, assessing the broken skin on your knuckles. 

“Shit baby, you got him good.” He smiles, taking a clean rage and gently dabbing at the bloodied wounds. You wince and he immediately pulls back, waiting for you to let him continue. 

“I shouldn't have hit him,” you mumble, biting your lip as he hits another painful spot, “I’ll probably get written up.” 

Poe snorts, shaking his head. “I dont it won't be any worse than what he's gonna get. Plagiarizing plans? Falsifying records? He's lucky if the general even lets him get drinks for us.” You can't help the laugh that tumbles out of your throat, nodding along to his words. He quickly wraps your hand in a simple bandage, just tight enough to keep your hand from throbbing. You meet Poe’s gaze as he looks up at you, crouched between your legs with a serene look on his face. 

“What?” you ask softly, gripping your sheets with your other hand. Poe just shakes his head, “So, I've given you a better month than he could in years?” 

You groan as you drop your head to his shoulder, embarrassment flooding your senses. “I didn't mean to say that in front of everyone.” Poe just laughs, letting his hands run up and along your thighs. 

“It was pretty hot to see you claim me in front of everyone like that, baby.” He smiles, gently using his hands to lift your face so he can look at you. You flush brightly, your eyes unable to look anywhere else but his gaze. “Im sorry, I'm sure that was uncomfortable for you-”

 Poe shakes his head, his nose brushing along yours. “You still don't get it, huh?” Before you can speak again he pushes the two of you up and back, laying you down onto your bed as he hovers over you. “I want to be yours, Blue, I think in some way I always have been.” He says softly, intertwining your hands together as he presses them beside your head. “I've slept with people, yes, but none could get you off my mind.” His lips gently trail down your neck, biting and kissing at your skin. You gasp, your body reacting so easily for him. “You were always there, since flight school, in my mind, always competing with me. Then I leave, and I come back to tell you-” He carefully slips his hand under the edge of your shirt, feeling your skin with a gentle touch. 

As if he can't believe this is still happening.

“I come back and see you look at him like that, and I would have supported you baby I would have, but-” He hisses as your body arches against him, brushing together as heat begins to flood your body. “Lucky for me he was an idiot.” Is all Poe can say as you crash your lips to his, gripping his jaw tightly as you angle him in closer to deepen the kiss. “Fuck, I can only ever think about you Blue-” He gasps as your hand trails in between you, running your fingers along the seams of his length. “I only want to think about you, I want to be yours forever-” He rambles on, your hand moving rhythmically against him as you listen to him beg. His words fill your chest as he speaks, so plainly yet undoubtedly true. 

“Poe?” You say softly, watching as his eyes open to find yours, dark and glazed over with lust, but his attention undivided. You smile softly, only slowing your movements ever so slightly as you take a breath to speak. “I'm yours.” You whisper softly, your smile widening as you see his eyes begin to water. You gasp as you tugged up, pressed against his chest as he buries his face into your neck, holding you impossibly tight. 

“Fuck, Blue, I almost didn’t last when I heard you say that.” Poe grumbles, and you laugh loudly as your hands pull his hips to yours. 

“We're just getting started, Dameron, I can't have you tapping out so early.” You grin, letting your hands snake up the bros expanse of his back to caress his head. An idea strikes you as you hold on to one another, your hands running along the carved muscles of his body. 

“Poe?” You ask softly, turning your head to look at him as he pulls back slightly from your neck. “Can we try something?” 

His smile is lethal. 

“How do you want me, baby?”

You carefully pull back from his embrace, eyeing him playfully as you turn onto your hands and knees, movings towards the headboard with a sway to your hips, Poe’s eyes practically glow with desire, and you feel his hand run along your spine, gripping your hips dangerously before you grab onto the headboard, arching yourself against him. You can feel his chest contracting behind you, his hands moving to your hips instinctively. You loved this, feeling so crowded by his body and scent.

Poe wasted no time in shucking down your pants, tilting your head to meet his lips in a fiery kiss as the cool air of your room blows against your exposed lower body. You reach a hand behind you, finding the edge to his pants and working to pull them down, releasing his cock between the both of you. 

With a practiced precision, Poe sheathes himself into you, a satisfied gasp leaving your lips. You can already feel the headboard creaking under your grasp, but you don't care.

“Shit, baby, I'm not gonna last long-” He pants, kissing your neck while giving you another small thrust. He leaves one hand on your waist as the other snakes to your slick folds, teasing you gently as you let out another moan. “I don’t care, just fuck me Poe, please-” You whine out, pushing yourself against him with need. You gasp as you feel a sharp slap to your clit, only making you infinitely wetter. 

“I’m going to take my time fucking my girl.” He growls, and pulls you in for another thrust. Your face turns towards the board, hot pants of air escaping you as he thrust into you from below, perfectly hitting that spot within you that makes your toes curl with pleasure. He leans forward, wrapping a hand over yours as he fucks you into the headboard, his other hand tightening on your hip as he slams into you.

“My beautiful girl, so wet for me. Do you like making me so hungry for you? Driving me wild seeing you so lost in pleasure? Absolutely drenching my cock?” His words almost send you over the edge alone, only capable of giving him a choked sob in reply. 

He fucks into you mercilessly, grinding himself against you with every thrust, his own orgasm approaching as quickly as yours. “Fuck, baby, you were made for me, never gonna let you go-” You feel him shake as he begins to unload into you, his hand rubbing tirelessly over your clit and quickly sending you over the edge into your own pleasure. 

“Fuck!”  You cry out, shaking as he continues to thrust into you, emptying himself entirely. The room is filled with pants as you both lean against each other, your hands trembling as you use the headboard to hold yourself up. You feel so impossibly full. You shift gently, feeling his body tense behind you as his head rests in the crook of your neck. 

“Still with me, Dameron?” You smile, turning your head to gently press a kiss to his temple. You can feel him smile against your skin, placing his own soft kiss on your shoulder. “Always, baby.” He whispers back softly, lifting his head to gaze at you with pure adoration. You eventually separate, slinking down into your bed wrapped in each other's embrace. Any other clothes were shed, the need for urgency long behind you both as you tak in these moments of being utterly at peace. 

You rest your head on his chest, your eyes drifting close as you listen to the steady beat of his heart. “Poe?” you ask softly, running your hand along his sternum. You can feel him shift, knowing he was looking down at you.

“Yeah, sweet girl?” He asks gently, running a hand through your hair and you swear you are in heaven. 

“When did you realize you liked me? You…we, we’ve just been together for so long and I never realized.” You ask, turning your head up to look at him easier. Poe smiles, so easy and carefree, and just shrugs. 

“Maybe always?” 

You swat at his chest, a chuckle rumbling in him as he grabs your hand, pressing a kiss to your pulse. “Be serious!” You scold, but the smile on your face tells him all he needs to know.

“I am serious. It was always you.”

Your smile only grows softer as you listen to him, your hand continuing to rub small circles onto his skin. “I’m sorry I took so long to realize it.” You whisper to him, reaching up to rub his jaw. Poe grins and moves over you, flipping you both until he rests on top of you. He surges forward,  kissing you as if you had all the time in this world. You both stay close, his nose brushing against yours as you gaze into each other's eyes. Poe speaks, whispering into your ear, and you know he means it.

“I would have waited forever for you”

[bethebesttoyou]

Shiver - Choi Yeonjun

synopsis: Yeonjun and Y/N just can't let each other go.

pairing: College student! Yeonjun x college student! Reader

song: Shiver by Lucy Rose (I was way too young to be listening to just sad songs in middle school)

warnings: suggestive writing again,,,(does it seem like im slowly getting close to writing smut? IDK),,, lovers to exes to ??? to exes,,, ANGST NO HAPPY ENDING (it breaks my heart might have to do a part 2 FNKDS) not much dialogue again, just inner workings of reader who can't let yeonjun go, kinda like right person, wrong time... kinda cheesy ending cause we have fun here... OH NOT EDITED EITHER AHAHA

Wc: 1.8k (I wanted it to be longer T_T, maybe part two coming soon???)

A/N: Ive been writing in means of distracting myself from the reality that is our world rn, and its been really helpful...Ive also been feeling all down about my writing in general but I don't want to give up!!! I want to keep getting better!!! So ima keep just writing... hopefully down the line I get to see the growth ANYWAYS....

“What’s wrong?” Yeonjun breathes out, his hot breath hitting your face, glazed eyes of lust watching you intensely. 

He had just shown up, like he usually did, and his hands began to slowly make their way under your shirt before you stopped them breaking the hypnotic spell of his kiss. 

It was easy to forget with him pressing into you like this. To forget about the break up, the fact that it no longer was meant to mean anything other than another night together. To you, the kisses were still laced with love, with passion that were left over from the years spent together. You already knew that he was mirroring your love and emotions with his hands caressing your hips, the way he knew his way around your body, kissing where it mattered, touching where it mattered. 

It was hard to move on. Hard to give up on every feeling he evoked in you, well because… this was Yeonjun. The very same Yeonjun that asked you out in 9th grade, with a cheesy note and nervous smile, the same one that took you to all the school dances and school trips. The Yeonjun that can make you laugh, cry, and desire all with his own vocabulary. He was the same guy you grew up with, he felt familiar, he felt like home. He was the one and only Yeonjun that could ever make you feel this wanted, this needed, this loved. 

The one and only Yeonjun, the one you no longer had.

Not anymore. Not really. 

Things had gotten complicated towards the end of the relationship. Young couples often face these common complexities of individual growth, individual paths, college and the opinions of friends and families. And while you thought your relationship with Yeonjun was strong enough to sustain these challenges, believing that the years spent together only added to the strong will of your love,  nothing could’ve prepared you for the sudden distance, the change in goals, the shift in thinking, the shift in priorities. It was obvious what the issues had been. But you had pushed them down, buried deep enough to be convinced that time would fix it. So while you were good at pretending that everything had been normal and fine, it was Yeonjun that had visibly carried this boulder in his chest, the boulder heavy to the point that he had to sit you down and bring up the undeniable truth. You were drifting apart, bad. Arguments no longer lasted an hour, but days, schedules were no longer syncing, dates were being forgotten or willingly canceled, communication and keeping up with each other became rare and the voiced opinions of friends were starting to question the ethics in high school sweethearts.  

With ache filled hearts, you both knew it was the end. The love never faltered, but time did and your lives were no longer in the same rhythm, your heart, while still beating for one another, no longer to the same young love beat. So with mutual understanding and a night full of sobs and goodbye kisses, you deemed your seven year relationship to be over. Or at least that's what was supposed to happen. 

The entire idea was to give each other the space needed to grow and find yourselves, to explore the world of independence, the world of your 20’s, and the brain understood that concept, it made sense. You were both young and hadn't really figured out life, but your hearts, filled with years of history and love, branded with memories of your past, were not getting the hang of it, not just yet. Even with the ending of your relationship being meant to create a fresh start for the both of you, nothing stopped either of you from texting each other, meeting for ‘friendly’ coffees, meeting up at night, when your roommates were asleep, sneaking him in. That's what got you here now. 

Nine months after the break up, he's in your hallway, pushing you against the wall in the middle of the night. And you weren't going to lie, you were obsessed with the feeling. Yet, you knew deep down, this was only hurting you both more.There was never any talk about getting back together, in fact there was never any talking about this aspect of your friendship?relationship? Whatever it was. When you were around your mutual high school friends, it was as though these nights never happened, it was as if you both were silently agreeing that this was merely sex. Merely a way of getting your needs taken care of. 

But it felt like an excuse. In your head, you convinced yourself that this was okay, because who else knew you like this, knew your body and what you needed, before and after? And you knew he felt the same, when his soft moans and grunts escaped his mouth, when he would beg to hear your own soft moans and whines again and again. 

The discussion and acknowledgement of what this was,would have only made things more real. More complicated, and like true Yeonjun and Y/N fashion, you ignored all of that. You would ignore his love filled eyes, the constant electrical current his touch possessed, the way his touch would have you shivering in anticipation, you would ignore the slips of ‘I love you’s from his mouth when he was on top of you. And he seemed to ignore all of your soft ‘baby’s’ and pleads, ignoring your single tears and would silently cradle you after, seeming to understand, yet never actually bringing it up. 

Because, neither of you had not been ready, and maybe you still weren't, but things had been changing, life still existed outside of him, and you weren't sure you could keep this up anymore. 

It was only recently that your friends suggested dating again. The thought itself made your stomach twist in guilt and fear. Your friends had known about this toxic stance you were in with Yeonjun, this idea that you were still each other’s, even if you weren't. And unlike you, they were worried about this deeply rooted attachment, considering it more obsessive, more out of comfortability than actual love. So even with your desperate rejections, they set you up. And when you suggested the idea of not showing up, they looked at you with concern filled eyes: 

“Y/N, you have the chance to grow into the best version of yourself…don't let him keep you stuck here.” 

 It was in that moment then, looking up at him, when he had brought a hand up to gently caress the softness of your cheek, that you understood.

 You knew they were right. And yet, a terribly hard pill to swallow. This didn't just apply to you, but to him too. You both had so many plans, goals, dreams. You both were only getting in the way of that, both keeping each other connected by the willfulness of your hearts. This love was too big for the both of you, and it was sucking the life, the happiness out of you.You loved him, you always did, always will. So much so, that you knew he deserved the same chance at an experience of life, without this weighing on him, without you pulling him back, just like you did.

“I can't do this anymore.” You whispered back finally, a tear hitting his thumb, and you weren't shocked when he sighed, before nodding, like he had known. That was another thing about Yeonjun you had loved,he always just knew. 

You embarked in this minute of silence, both of you letting it settle, the room was dimly lit, but you were still able to make out his disheveled hair, his freshly kissed lips, and the tears that flooded the lining of his eyes. Neither of you hid them, neither felt the need too. Your heart fights this feeling of relief, and Yeonjun looks up at you and smiles softly before motioning to the front door. 

“Do you remember orientation night?” He asked, once he was out the door. The fresh wind sweeps up a pair of leaves from the floor, and you both watch as the leaves dance around each other, before flying off. You smile. 

“I do.” 

Orientation night was hell. The world had been against you, you had been picked on by the orientation leaders, your dorm mates didn't seem like they were going to be good dorm mates at all, and to make it worse, you were in a new city, an hour away from Yeonjun’s college. You had decided to suffer in silence that night until he called, and just with the sound of his voice, you couldn't help but blubber out everything that went wrong. He listened and cooed, trying to relax your sobs, you heard the sound of an ignition turning on in the back. As you suspected, he made it to the front of your dorms in the next hour, already extending his arm for an embrace. At this time, the distance was still new and unfamiliar to both of you, no longer living in the same city, no longer having the same group of friends. You're no longer crying as dramatically as before, yet he still held you tightly in his chest, the smell of his cologne calming you greatly. 

“Ima just give up and go home. Maybe I'm not made for college life.” You sigh. 

“Hey, you are definitely not going back home. Youre gonna go back in there and tell your dorm mates to be nice or fuck off, and then youre gonna go tomorrow and say the same thing to those asshole leaders.” he rubs your back. 

“No…” you sigh again, “I'm not gonna do that. I want to actually make friends, and I want my dorm mates to actually like me.” 

“I'm your friend.”

“You also live an hour away.” 

“So? Nothing can keep me away from you.” He smiles down at you, kissing your forehead. 

“I wish I only had to deal with you and your antics…I miss you.” 

I miss you too… Do you want me to talk to those leaders?” 

“No but thanks.” 

“Y/N…” you had been closing your eyes until he called, “I will always have your back. Always. You always have a friend, never hesitate to call him. He loves you, forever.” he finally attaches his lips to yours, quickly pecking your lips before pecking the rest of your face. 

“I meant every word.” he says softly, grabbing your hands, “I'm always your friend and I love you, forever.” 

“I love you too, forever.” And when he reaches to rub the tear off your cheek again, you chuckle to suppress the sniffle. 

If your heart had not been enclosed in your chest, it would have been dragged by the last few strings attached to his, instead all you felt was the frantic pull, the desperate call for him to come back, and he must feel it too cause he turns back to you, already at the edge of the driveway. 

“If I ever get you back in my arms, I will never let you go again.” 

“Is that a threat?” You laughed already walking back to the door. He smiles upon seeing your smile, one last time. 

“A promise.” 

A/N: YAYAYAYAAY you made it to the end!!! Thank you so much for reading!!! I wanted to make this super angsty and I hope I tugged at the heart even just a pluck :3 Anyways, as always please let me know how you liked it, my asks are open for any requests as well!! Also let me know if you think I should do a small update (read: part 2) on yeonjun and y/n, maybe seeing each other again /.\ Thank you again!! :3

[morningsharksworld]

Come and Go

Mauga x Old Flame!Reader [ANGST]

A/N: As promised some Mauga fics for the Big boy enjoyers 👹✨, wanted some angst though while listening to some more jomm SO ENJOY.

Summary: Your just another number on his phone…:[

The bar was packed, yet it felt like the loneliest place on earth. You sat at the edge of the room, nursing your drink, trying to drown out the whirlwind of emotions that had been haunting you since you stepped inside. You didn’t know why you had come here tonight—maybe it was nostalgia, maybe it was recklessness—but you didn’t expect to see him.

Mauga.

He was impossible to miss. Towering over everyone, his presence filled the room like it always had, commanding attention without even trying. His laugh boomed over the clinking of glasses, and his grin… God, that grin. It still had the power to make your stomach twist, though now it came with a sting of bitterness.

You had loved him once, more than you’d ever thought possible. And in return, he’d left you. No note, no goodbye, just silence where there used to be warmth.

You kept your head down, hoping he wouldn’t see you. Maybe he’d walk past, too caught up in his world to notice you. But deep down, you knew better.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

His voice came from behind you, low and familiar, carrying that mix of charm and edge that had always been his signature. You froze, your fingers tightening around your glass.

“Mauga” you said, turning slowly to face him. “It’s been a while.”

He leaned against the bar, his broad shoulders towering over you. “Yeah, it has.” His gaze swept over you, lingering just long enough to make your chest tighten. “You look good.”

“Don’t” you shot back before you could stop yourself. It wasn’t true—he looked as maddeningly good as ever—but you wanted to hurt him, just a little. You wanted him to feel a fraction of the ache he’d left behind.

He smirked, but there was no humor in it. “Fair enough.”

An awkward silence settled between you, heavy with everything left unsaid. You swirled your drink, the ice clinking against the glass as you tried to gather your thoughts.

“Why are you here, Mauga?” you asked finally, your voice sharper than you intended. “What do you want?”

“You” he admitted, his tone unusually soft. “I saw you, and… I couldn’t just walk away.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Funny. You had no problem doing that before.”

He flinched, the guilt flashing across his face. “I know I hurt you” he said. “I know I don’t deserve to ask for anything, but… I needed to see you.”

“For what?” you snapped. “Closure? An apology? What exactly do you want from me, Mauga?”

His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t answer. Then, he looked at you, his dark eyes filled with something raw and unguarded. “I want you back” he said.

Your breath caught, the words hitting you like a freight train.

“You don’t get to say that” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Not after what you did. You don’t get to walk back in here and act like we can just pick up where we left off.”

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy” he said, his voice rough. “But I can’t stop thinking about you. About us. I tried to move on, but I can’t. You’re still in my head, every damn day.”

Your heart ached at his words, but anger flared just as strong. “Do you have any idea what it was like for me?” you said, your voice rising. “To wake up and realize you were gone? To wonder what I did wrong? You broke me, Mauga.”

“I know” he said, his voice cracking. “And I’ve hated myself for it every day since. I thought I was doing the right thing, that I’d only drag you down if I stayed. But I was wrong. I see that now.”

You shook your head, tears threatening to spill. “You don’t get it. You don’t just get to *come and go* whenever it’s convenient for you. That’s not how this works.”

He reached for your hand, but you pulled back, the distance between you feeling like miles.

“I never stopped loving you” he said, his voice breaking with desperation. “Not for a second.”

A single tear slipped down your cheek, and you quickly brushed it away. “Maybe that’s the problem” you said. “Love isn’t enough. Not anymore.”

He stared at you, the weight of your words sinking in. For once, Mauga had nothing to say, no witty comeback or charming smile to deflect the pain.

“I can’t do this again” you said, standing up and grabbing your coat. “I can’t let you back in, just to watch you leave when it gets hard.”

“Wait—” he said, his hand reaching out but stopping just short of touching you.

You shook your head, your voice trembling. “Goodbye, Mauga.”

You walked away, your heart shattering with every step. You didn’t look back, even as you heard him call your name one last time.

Outside, the cold night air hit you like a slap, but it wasn’t enough to numb the ache in your chest. The song from the bar played faintly in your mind, the lyrics echoing your tangled thoughts.

"Does he even feel the way I do?

Does he ever think about me too?"

You wiped your tears, your breath hitching as you whispered to yourself, “It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m just another number on his phone.”

And somewhere behind you, inside that dimly lit bar, Mauga sat alone, watching the door long after you’d gone.

[harunade]

three

wc: ~2k

warnings: suggestive, making out, angst if you squint, not proofread, thats it lol

Your girly room lightened up as the sun rose in beautiful pink and orange colours. It was only 6:30 am yet the boy in your bed was restless. He watched carefully as the sunbeams lit up your beautiful face. Your head had been resting on his chest the whole night, so peacefully that Zhang Hao couldn’t possibly choose to sleep through this event.

He almost hated himself for the mixed thoughts that were running through his head. A tough decision between actually committing or not had to be made. And although the camboy only needed a week or two of talking and a night with you to develop strong complex feelings of admiration, his past experiences with love and girls were eating him from the inside. Ahn Yujin, one off the top camgirls on your joint site, had previously played with his heart beyond words. It started similarly with your relationship, where he got bold one night and started talking to her, eventually meeting up and collaborating. Despite the fact that none of them made their relationship official, they both felt the spark between the two. Or he did, at least. After countless dates, kisses, rounds of intimate sex, gifts and friends meeting, Zhang Hao was sure he had met the love of his life. His world came crashing down went he found out he wasn’t the only guy recieving the same treatment. Not one, or two, but other four guys were sharing the beautiful girl he thought was his.

Maybe learning all this from her would’ve been better, but it was his best friend, Lee Donghyuck, who dug everything up from the pits of the internet.

Needless to say, Hao was left broken beyond repair. That was when his ‘hoe phase’ started. He stopped caring about feelings and what else, only the bank was important. But you…

The feeling of your lips and the sound of your giggles unfortunately made his heart twitch. The familiar and now dystopian feeling on hid heart thumping rapidly gave him a sick feeling in his stomach. The sensation was a beautiful one, but it couldn’t not be associated with the romantic experiences shared with his ex partner, if you could even call her that.

Zhang Hao was frightened. He didn’t want to experience something like that again.

His string of thoughts were interrupted by your head slowly lifting and sitting back down on his chest. You finally woke up. “Good morning, what’s the time?” you asked quietly as you looked up into his brown orbs. The clock read 7:02am. It was early in the morning, but on a usual school day you would’ve been at your desk doing your make up and getting ready.

“You sleep well?” a large hand ran through your tangled hair, leaving an addicting feeling of comfort. “Yeah… hope this position didn’t trouble your sleep too much” you laughed a bit before repositioning yourself next to the taller boy. His hair was still in all directions from last night, and his eyes were only half opened. You caught on the fact that he barely slept, but didn’t know the actual reason behind.

The two of you sat at your kitchen table, eating leftovers from the night before. Silence was loud in the room as none of you actually addressed what had happened last night yet. Did he regret it? You had no idea. “So..” you broke the eyes, causing his to look up from his half empty plate. “So…” he repeated in a teasing tone. “Are you gonna say anything? Is my face too pretty that the cat got your tongue?” Zhang Hao made you chuckle with his joke. Truth be told, his face was indeed very pretty, especially in the morning. His natural beauty was really shining through. He must’ve noticed your blushing as he started laughing himself.

“You really have to leave?” you whine while clinging to Zhang Hao’s arm. He was packing his small back pack with the remaining items that were spread around your house. Because he was kneeling on the floor, without your hovering over him, it was easy for your bed to meet the hard wooden floor in an instant, positioning Hao over you. The position you two were in reminded you of last night. Your cheeks got hot as you had flashbacks of the intense moments you shared. The boy above you must’ve had the same thought, but acted differently. Instead of shying away, he leaned down and kisses you. He forced his tongue inside your mouth and bit at your lip, licking it afterwards. He did so repeatedly, so much that he drew blood from your lip. Although unusually rough, you enjoyed it. Your soft hands cupped his face and you took everything he gave you, while trying to win dominance, but obviously failing.

As your breath ran out, you pushed him off you. While rising back to his original spot, a thick string of saliva connected your lips. “I don’t want to leave, either” his raspy voice echoed through the room. A sad pout appeared on his face as well as on yours. “Then stay one more night?” you lifted yourself in a seated position, before holding his face once again and pulling him into another kiss.

Zhang Hao just couldn’t get enough of you. You were addicting. The feeling of your soft lips in his was dangerous. He had been spending the last 15 minutes kissing you on the hard floor. Your hands were pulling at his fluffy hair, causing him to moan in your mouth. He was so incredibly hard that he was in physical pain. But he hated the effect you had on him. It only took you two days to get THE Zhang Hao totally enchanted. All the doubts erased from his mind in that moment, and all that mattered was you. The warmth emitted from your beautiful body, your sense of humour that matched his perfectly, all the moles you had, your beautiful eyes and smile. You. You. You.

He loved You. There was no doubt in his mind.

But nothing ever lasts forever and the hesrtbreaking moment of Zhang Hao leaving came. The house felt strangely empty. You had been living by yourself for s while, though. Sat on your bed, wearing the black hoodie he left you, the air smelled like him. Your mind wondered about how on the same sheets you were sitting on, your brains were fucked out by him. When you went to grab a snack, you remembered how you ate together. Don’t even mention the living room… and he cold wooden floor he had you on. His presence was still there. He was still with you, simply not physically.

You shook your head. That whole moment was too dramatic even for you. It wasn’t like he was dead!

Little did you know, he was experiencing the same things. You didn’t have any pieces of clothing to give him that would fit, so you gave him two black hair ties. It was a cute gesture he deeply appreciated. One of them was hugging his left wrist, and the other one was placed safely on his gear shifter. His mind went back to you as he was driving. The moments you shared these past few days were indeed special. He prayed you felt the same. Because whatever he felt.. was intense and real.

Unfortunately for the both of you, the next two weeks were hell. In the agonising 14 days, you had maybe three or four conversations. Exam season was coming up and fast, and you left all your studying to the last days. You forgot what grass was as you spent 10 hours studying daily. But it wasn’t any easier for Zhang Hao. He had recently gotten accepted into a new job, and it was eating all his time. His shift started at 4 pm and ended at 12am. 4pm was exactly the time you finished school, so the timing could’ve been worse.

The break from one another did nothing but intensify the feelings between the two of you. Your loss affected your boy deeply, but also made him realise that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life without you. As for you, you were beyond stressed, and you needed your almost boyfriend to cheer you up. You knew he was the only one to calm you down and improve your mood.

-

“Hao!!” you jumped in the camboy’s arms as he entered your apartment. Regarding of everything that was happening, it was mandatory for you and your beloved to meet eventually. So, you took a day of studying and he took a day off work to come see you. “I missed you so much, beautiful” the taller boy murmured in the crook of your neck as he was hugging you back even tighter.

The distance made itself known, as the teo of you were attched to the bone. Wherever you went, he was there to accompany you. You even showered together. “Where did you learn to wash a girl’s hair? It’s incredibly soft” he knew you wouldn’t like the answer. Zhang Hao and Yujin did shower together occasionally, and she made sure to teach him everything about a woman’s beauty; how face masks worked, how to do a basic skin care routine, a 3 step hair washing process and how to paint nails. His actions were very domestic. “Ahh.. it’s better you don’t know” Zhang Hao prayed you wouldn’t ask for details. And you didn’t.

“Can we talk?” you were taken aback by the boy’s bold question. You didn’t know what to expect, but you hoped he wouldn’t ask to break things off. You couldn’t lose him. “..okay” you answered weakly.

“Y/n I really like you. I used to be in a horrible relationship with a camgirl and things ended up… not well. I was scared to trust you but I know I love you. You’re beautiful and smart and all I desire. I love you I’m sorry.” he blurted out so fast that you barely comprehended what he was saying. But you got the essential.

“Hao.. you mean everything to me. I’ve been thinking about you nonstop ever since i met you.. and actually, I used to fancy you from before we ever started talking. I love you, too. I’m sorry” you slightly mocked him at the end and gave him a playful smile. But inside, your heart was close to bursting. “I understand that you went through a rough relationship, I’m here to listen if you ever want to tell me. I will understand it, because I want to get to know all of you. Even the bad parts.” the atmosphere in the room changed drastically. It felt like a cliche romance book where the main characters had a built up tension. The two of you had it too, somehow.

Zhang Hao closed the space between you and grabbed you into a kiss. This one felt special. It was filled with emotion. Your eyes teared as it felt like he was sending you everything on his chest. You felt his love enter you and vice versa.

“I love you” he pecked your lips “I love love you” he pecked your lips again “Sorry if I’m too clingy” again. “Actually, I’m not.” he kissed you one last time.

previous | masterlist | next

[rosenclaws]

Can you write about flat!reader x any Logan, where she is insecure of basically having no tits (like me) so she wants to keep a shirt on during sex and stuff and Logan notices and stuff lol

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem!reader, dirty talk, mirror sex, doggy style, creampie, insecurity, the reader says self deprecating things about themselves, light choking, breast play

a/n: YES YES, I'm flat as fuck and I am super self conscious about them. These mfs look like mosquito bites on god. (I hate them so much bro just let me get some work done PLZ) Anyways Im doing this with Worst Logan bc I love him. Anyways.

Sometimes it was hard dating a man like Logan. It wasn't hard to love him, no not at all. Even with the baggage he claimed to have come with, it wasn't hard to deal with the nightmares or the moments of deep loathing and insecurity. You loved him and because of that being able to help him through it all was easy.

What was hard was dating a man who was over 200 years old and looked like a Greek fucking god.

The first time you ever saw Logan without his shirt was when you were visiting Wade. Logan walked out in nothing but pajama pants. You shamelessly eye-fucked the man before you. He was ripped. Strong arms, a six pack, big thighs, and a handsome face. Even after you started dating and managed to get him on a diet that was more than whiskey and cigars he was still unbelievably hot. You should feel lucky to have a man like that worship you and you love and appreciate him to death. The problem is that you felt like you couldn't compare.

Logan loves you and you know he does but when you're looking in the mirror you can't help but notice you're lacking in one specific area. Your boobs. You were flat and the world seemed to never let you forget it.

Cute tops you could never wear because your chest couldn't keep them up. Jokes about being flat as a board. You couldn't even hold them in your hands. You hated them. Logan never said anything about them but you were always too afraid to bring it up.

So you sat in this limbo of deep insecurity.

"Sweetheart? You still in there?" Logans muffled voice comes from behind the bathroom door.

Shit you didn't mean to be here for so long. A shower had turned into staring at the mirror. You covered them in your hands, pushing them together and huffing when they just looked sad. The events from earlier in the night replaying over in your head.

Ever since Logan showed up in the universe he had garnered some attention. The Wolverine was hard to hide. People would point and whisper whenever they saw him. Gossip about who he was and why he was here. It was all pointless to Logan. Still in the bathroom of the bar you managed to catch a conversation.

Two beautiful women talking about your boyfriend and how badly they wanted him. Talking about flirting with him and taking him home. It just hurt a little. Sure Logan could care less about anyone's advances but yours but they had truly gotten into your head.

Would Logan want someone who had...better assets?

Would he want a woman who's breasts he could hold, squeeze, rest his head on? It was silly but they were the one thing that you honestly just didn't like about yourself so it was hard to think logically about it.

"I'm coming in." Logan's voice calls again. You curse quietly as you scramble to get a shirt on. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you like this. Logan's eyes shamelessly look you up and down as he enters the bathroom. A small smirk growing on his lips as he leans against the door. You bite your lip as you look down towards the counter.

"Sorry, I just wanted to take an extra long shower." You lie, smiling at Logan.

He hums and pushes off the door. He comes to stand behind you, his arms snaking around your waist. You were dressed in nothing but a shirt and underwear and Logan liked it. A lot.

"Should've joined you. Could have helped get your back." Logan purrs, his growing bulge pressing against your back.

“Oh please we’d still be in the shower if you had joined me.” You tease, slipping out of his grip. Logan furrows his brows as he follows you like a puppy to bed.

"You say that like it's a bad thing sweetheart."

As you lay on the bed Logan crawls in-between your legs, resting his head on your stomach. He purrs as you reach and run your fingers through his hair, scratching his head in all the spots you know he loves.

"Not a bad thing honey, but our water bill isn't a fan." Logan gets up on his knees, a devilish smirk appearing on his lips as his hands snake up your legs.

"Fuck the water bill, If I want to fuck my gorgeous girlfriend I will." You giggle as he dips his head down. The scruff of his beard tickles your skin as he nibbles on your thighs.

"Fuck baby, I can't get enough of you." He kneels between your legs and his hands slip up your body. The moment his hands go under your shirt you flinch. You didn't mean to flinch but you did. It was a small movement but it was there and Logan felt it immediately.

"What's wrong?" He asks as he takes his hands away.

"Nothing." You smile and reach up to pull him closer but he doesn't budge. Curse his super strength. He gives you a look and you sigh.

"It's nothing Logan, it's stupid and small."

"Sweetheart you gotta talk to me," Logan huffs. He's been working on this whole, communication thing and while he's not known for his empathy he can clearly see there's something bothering you.

"I just..." He looks at you again and you fall back into the pillows.

"Its these!" You say pointing to your chest.

"Huh?" "They're small and stupid and I hate them!" You lift your shirt up and huff in frustration. Logan's eyes widen as he stares at your bare chest. A stupid smile forming on his lips.

"I'm not seeing the problem." You put your shirt down and he pouts.

"I'm serious Logan. They're small and flat and...and..." You struggle to find the words as Logan just chuckles.

"So what?"

"It's not funny!" You snap and Logan's face morphs into concern.

"I just, I wish they were bigger is all. I mean sometimes I see other women and...It's hard sometimes." You curl into yourself, your arms covering your chest protectively. It felt silly to bring up right now but the thoughts wouldn't go away.

"Hey, look at me sweetheart." Logan coos. He lays next to you. Gently snaking his arm around your waist to pull you closer.

"Please?" Reluctantly you turn your body to face his.

"There's my pretty girl." He tilts your chin up to meet his eyes.

"Look I'm not the best at this but I can tell you one thing. You're fucking perfect." He leans in and kisses your neck gently. Your eyes flutter close as he gently rolls on top of you.

"You are beautiful, gorgeous, hot. I could go on and on sweetheart." His hand slips up your shirt and you let him slowly peel it off you. He grins as his lips move down to your chest. His thumb comes to play with one of your breasts while he latches onto the other.

"Logan..." You moan as he teases you like he loves to do.

"I know you hate them but I fucking love them. I could spend hours playing with them, looking at them, sucking on them if you let me." You bite your lip at his dirty words. The insecurities being pushed out Logan's hands.

"I don't care how big they are, what the look like. Because they're attached to my girl and I love my girl." Logan reaches down and rips your panties off of your body. You gasp in surprise as he takes your legs and spreads them.

"Feel how fucking hard you make me." He groans as he grinds his cock against your body.

"Get on your knees baby." You don't hesitate to listen. You get on your knees and face the headboard but Logan has other plans.

"No, I want you to watch your pretty tits as I fuck you." He growls in your ear as he moves you to face the mirror on the wall.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head at his gruff voice. Fuck he's hot. You're practically dripping onto the sheets already and Logan plans on taking full advantage of that. Slowly he slides his cock into your cunt, taking his sweet time as he stretches you out.

"So good, taking me raw." He says with a smirk. He wraps his hand around your neck to help support you as your legs shake at the feeling.

"I know baby, almost there just a little bit more." He praises.

You nod furiously, wanting to take all of him no matter what. When he fully bottoms out you let out a small cry. He shushes you softly, pressing kisses to your cheek as you get used to the stretch.

"Feel alright sweetheart?" Logan asks and you nod. Slowly he moves his hips, soaking up every whine that falls from your lips.

"Fuck, you're just made for me aren't you pretty girl." You can't take your eyes off of the mirror.

It's pure and utter filth. You're disheveled, tears pooling in your eyes, Logan's hand is still wrapped around your neck. You look fucking hot. You can see his muscles flexing with each devastating thrust. The look of pure desire on his face as he fucks you.

"Logan please I'm gonna come." Your hips start to move to meet his thrusts.

Logan growls as he grabs onto your hips and pushes you into the mattress. All you can do is watch yourself take it as he fucks the life out of you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as Logan breaks you apart. Your body feels fuzzy as your orgasm washes over you. Logan lets out a loud groan as his hips slam into you and stay there as he comes.

"Fuck...Look at you." Logan sits back, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up. You hum as your head falls onto his chest. A tired smile on your face.

"So fucking perfect." Logan hums.

"Right sweetheart?" You mumble something unintelligible and Logan taps your face.

"I want to hear it." You shiver at the intensity of his voice.

"I'm perfect." Logan tilts your head up.

"All of you?" He asks.

"All of me." You repeat after him.

"Good," He kisses your temple.

You sigh as Logan starts to massage your shoulders. The insecurities have been washed away, only bliss left in its wake. Logan couldn't comprehend your dislike for your body, he saw you and only saw the best.

But if you needed a reminder every now and then, he would be happy to give it to you.

[lilahardell]

FIRST LOVE ISN'T ALWAYS THE BEST LOVE

Hyunjin x reader

(Felix x reader for a while)

Please read part 1,2,3,4,5 before this🤍

Part-6 FLASHBACKS

The weekend was bright, and Y/n, Felix, Yeji, Yeonjun, Hyunjin and Tess spent the day exploring the city. Laughter echoed as they roamed the streets, taking photos and indulging in snacks.

Y/n walked ahead with Yeji, her arm linked through her friend’s as they giggled about some inside joke. Behind them, Felix and Tess chatted

At a photobooth Felix grabbed Y/n’s wrist. “Come on, let’s take a picture.”

She laughed, letting him pull her close. Their playful poses and easy banter caught Hyunjin’s attention from a distance. He frowned but didn’t say anything.

Later, at a mural, Hyunjin stood abruptly. “Y/n, let’s get a picture too.”

Y/n  agreed happily. As they stood side by side, Hyunjin’s shoulder brushed hers. Felix, watching from the table, clenched his jaw.

Everyone else also takes pictures,taking time in the booth as everyone has pictures for memory now.

Throughout the day, Felix and Hyunjin subtly vied for her attention—Felix cracking jokes to make her laugh, Hyunjin offering to carry her bags. Tess and Yeji, yeonjun kept exchanging amused glances, silently acknowledging the tension, as Y/n just shushes them sometimes blushing.

Time skip

Everyone's says goodbye leaving to their respective homes as yeonjun, Felix and Y/n get in a taxi to go back home.

As soon as they arrive, yeonjun immediately says goodnight tired wanting to sleep, Y/n and Felix go to her room too, as Felix sits down on the couch and Y/n on the bed. Y/n says"Today was so fun I loved it" Felix nods,"I'm so tired tho,where am I sleeping today?" He asks hesitantly Y/n goes quite "uhm I'll be back from the washroom" she gets in locking the door as she looks in the mirror, suddenly her mind filled with thoughts of "that night"

FLASHBACK

Y/n Mom- ok guys behave, I'll come back late night okay? She kisses both Y/n and Felix's head before leaving

As soon as she leaves, Y/n and Felix both look at each other and shout "movie time!" They sit down with all types of snacks, way too much and a full movie list they wanna watch.Felix gets the blanket as they both snuggle under it,starting the movie.

Time skip

Felix feels something on his shoulder as he turns to look,Y/n is sleeping on his shoulder, as he pulls back a little hair strand from her face looking down at her with a soft smile...

Felix pov- I love looking at her, she's so beautiful.. My perfect girl.She looks so peaceful sleeping.. not when she's talking my ears off or hitting me everytime she laughs. She's so perfect I can't believe it. Gosh I love her so much, there's nothing to express it..She's so amazing I don't even know what I did in my life to deserve her. She's pretty,smart,graceful,strong.. and just.. so great.. She's my girl.. there's no way I will ever let anyone else love her like me. I know they can't,even if they try to..She's my everything,my world my life... Gosh I love her so much, I wanna tell her how much I love her so bad, how im is nothing without her, how I would give everything in the world just to have her in my arms, I want her to be mine,to be in my arms whenever she needs. God I wanna tell her so bad but what if it ruins everything? What if it ruins this amazing friendship she's given me? What if never get that smile again?.No.. I wouldn't wanna live without that..although my heart hurts,like physically in my chest to not be able to tell her how much I love her,how much I want her how much I need her...

Felix glances at her lips for a  few seconds,licking his lips.. "her lips look so soft and perfect, Gosh I wish I could kiss her just one time.. but.. that would never happen would it?". Felix keeps looking at her face with a soft smile,he sighs,kissing her forehead softly, whispering I love you... His eyes glance at her lips once more as he tells himself it's not right. She's sleeping. It would be wrong to kiss his bestfriend... But Felix can't help it anymore as he leans in kissing her suddenly his eyes close as he feels her lips against his for a moment.tasting her strawberry lip balm...he doesn't move.. shocked by himself, he pulls back softly..

Felix pov- Fuck. Fuck what did I do?.. I just kissed my bestfriend... Well fuck that, I kissed the love of my life.. and it's supposed to feel wrong. So wrong. But all I feel is.. love. Why are her lips so soft? So pretty and pink?... Why did they feel like the best thing I've ever felt?.... Why god..

Y/n pov- as I fell asleep on Felix's shoulder,because of continuous shuffling around I got up a  little but didn't open my eyes,just trying to go back to sleep again.. what I didn't think would happen was this. Felix just kissed me? Him tucking me in and saying I love you is normal. But fuck. He just kissed me. My bestfriend, the love of my life. The man I hopelessly loved for years just kissed me. Gosh wtf just happened? Why did he kiss me? More importantly.. why did his lips feel so good? So soft and perfect. That was the best thing I've ever felt... why did he kiss me gosh? What does Felix feel ? Was it just lust and he randomly acted upon it? It has to be. There's no way Felix would ever love me. It can't happen, he's my bestfriend.. would he?...

Time skip

After the incident, none of them ever spoke of it but rather lived in their own doubts,letting themselves assume whatever they want. Both of them acted like it never happened but deep down both were dying inside...

FLASHBACK ENDS

As Y/n remembered the night, her eyes filled with tears on its own. She doesn't even know how, she thought she told herself I wouldn't cry pathetically over him like that again... But.. Her hands clenched the sink tighter as the confusion overwhelmed her. She felt her chest tightening, the emotions swirling in her mind like a storm she couldn’t escape. He doesn’t see me like that. He can’t. But then why did he kiss me that night? Was it just lust?..

Tears spilled over again, hot and heavy, falling onto the sink. She buried her face in her hands, her quiet sobs echoing off the tiled walls as she tried to white down knowing he's outside in her room right now,maybe waiting for them to sleep on the same bed.The pressure of keeping it all inside was unbearable. The fear of ruining their friendship. The fear of rejection. The fear of not being enough.

She wiped her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, but it didn’t stop the tears. Staring at her reflection, she let out a shaky laugh, bitter and broken. “You’re pathetic, Lilah,” she muttered, shaking her head. “You’re supposed to be stronger than this.”

But the truth was, she wasn’t. Not now. Not when her heart felt like it was breaking under the weight of her own emotions..

She  tried to calm herself and splashed cold water on her face. Staring into the mirror again, she saw the same girl—tearful, broken—but also resilient. One step at a time, she thought. You’ll figure this out.

With a deep breath, she pushed the door open, leaving the washroom and her tears behind. "Oh you're not asleep Felix?"

Felix looks at her face,his heart dropping as he knows she cried. He knows her too well to know she's pretending to be okay right now but his heart hurts that she's not asking him for help. Was he not a good friend even? With how much he loves her he would let her cry days on him, never getting tired.. "yeah no I didn't.. uhm... You're tired right? You should sleep, I kept your water bottle filled there.. Y/n nods "thanks,Uhm.. I can sleep on the couch, u take the bed" Felix denies "no no it's okay uhm. I'll be on the couch, I'm good please" Y/n doesn't wanna argue about it since her heart wouldn't even let her stay in the same room without dying inside...

Felix pov- I insisted on the couch since I know I won't be able to control myself If I'm in the same bed with her, I mean last time she fell asleep on me i- I...

They both fall asleep but only after both their stupid hearts let them from taking a break of each other's thoughts and Insecurity...

YALL HOW WAS ITTT, so this was the chapter that got deleted and I had to write it, I still think the first one was kinda better but I'm not sure?? I still love this one. Really worked so hard on it, shit took me 2 days and I was yapping about it in school too 😭. I genuinely love y'all so much for reading and supporting it (my Tumblr people mwahhh) and thanks for taking your time and reading itt. Please give me feedbacks and continue the support I love you guys thankyouu. Mwahhh🩷🩷

[zetomato]

The three states of QSMP play

I’m back for another neutral take (I know no one can be truly neutral, but I am ignoring my bias here alright? Good? Good.) linked to the QSMP! This time, with various kinds of plays on this server.

So. People talk a lot about “This one is always in RP-mode” and “This one doesn’t RP at all” etc. these days. But let’s break this down a bit, shall we?

Upon my many years of watching Minecraft server RP (aka, like 3 years, not that many but eh, they count), I’ve noticed something interesting in the way players interacted with the story line and their characters. In this analysis, I’ll focus on QSMP since it’s one server where players have said explicitly that they have “Characters” that they play. So let’s jump into this.

The first mode: Out-Of-RP (I’ll call it OORP)

This, despite what’s expected, is the least used by almost everybody on the QSMP (yes, yes, surprising for a few watchers, but let me explain). The OORP mode is one I define as: “When the Content Creator is fully out of game” This includes when anyone leaves their computer to go to the bathroom, when they mute themselves to reassure their chat that they’re doing intense RP and do not actually hate the others, when they talk about when they met in person (In Brazil, Paris, Vegas, etc). This is the mode where the things talked about are not linked at all to what would be happening right at this moment RP-wise.

The second mode: RP

This is what happens 90% of the time for most of the server. They do not have to actively be talking about their Lore, they can be building and talking to their chat about what’s happening, how the eggs are doing, what another character has said to them, etc. I define it as “When the Content Creator is playing their character”. The level of intensity varies between creators, but mostly, it is a very chill play. They sometimes are in that mode while huge Lore is happening and they aren’t super into it at the moment. They could be helping out, but they won’t react much to big events and might even distance themselves from the loudest people in the room. We saw that when BBH showed up with his amnesia RP when they got back to the server post Purgatory and Etoiles went OORP for a moment to say he was too tired to RP but still hang out with Bagi and BBH until he got too exhausted for the high-intensity of the scene and backed off. He was in RP mode when he cracked jokes and asked questions and answered Bagi’s worries, but he was way too exhausted to match the intensity of BBH. We saw that in multiple different exchanges and, yep! That’s RP still! It’s just easier to see the extravagant one when the other is more mellow, even if both are playing their characters.

The third and last mode: LORE

Alright, this one is very easy and yet I wanna describe it to be sure everyone’s on the same page. This one is “When the content creator is fully immersed and playing into his character about the events of the story.”. Now this one is tricky to distinguish from RP for some people/characters. For Philza, for exemple, when he goes into his “LORE Mode”, he changes the camera, the screen, the sounds, etc. Not all of the time, but it’s when it’s most visible. Almost everyone goes into LORE mode when something huge happens (Finding the eggs in Purgatory, meeting an important NPC, having their character Lore revealed, etc.) We saw this often during the Lore drops. When Baghera shared her Background in the federation, when Philza went to the Birdhouse, when Forever and Pac had their Happy Pills arc, when BBH played his grief when the eggs disappeared and when he came out of Purgatory… All of these were and are Lore moments which are easy to spot.

The problem with these is…

No one can watch absolutely everyone on the server. If not for the language barrier (Especially when some players’ translation breaks or when they do not put it on (that’s more of a problem considering the goal of multilingual conversation on the server)), for the sheer time needed to follow that. But this means that people will miss out on character LORE and RP for sure. People who don’t understand French will be lost when the French Content Creators mute themselves to point out something to their chat while speaking French. People who don’t understand Portuguese will be lost when watching Bagi and she starts speaking too fast to get a good translation. People who don’t understand Spanish will be lost when Mariana shows up and forget to properly set his translation after he speaks English for a while. People who don’t understand English will be lost when someone doesn’t set their translation when they start chatting around in English. And it is things that will and have happened. I know more Lore about Etoiles than some friends of mine because I don’t miss anything when he switches to French while in RP. Sometimes it's not a question of trying, it's a question of language barrier!

The real problem is actually when people start defining what constitutes the three modes by the way one or two Content Creators do them. No two have the same RP mode, the same LORE mode. Some are very intense on their RP so they go into LORE very smoothly, some are just as smooth but because both of these are more subtle. This server has a lot of people talking to each other for hours being in RP mode but since they don’t start doing LORE mode (which is more obvious), it passes over some people’s head that they are doing RP.

It’s a bit sad to follow someone for a while, following their POV, knowing how much they put into their character and how much they RP with the content they make. And then get someone who’s way more used to a brighter more obvious RP say that the creator you follow doesn’t do shit. It’s ok and expected to have many kinds! Heck! It’s great that we do! Or else the number of viewers would be lower. This way, people who like more intensive and noticeable RP and chaos can go towards the ones who give them that, and the viewers that prefer a more subtle approach where the big things are actually less noticeable, they can watch exactly that!

I won’t lie, I am enjoying the mellow side more than the energized one. I like to be able to work while I watch a stream, I’m able to when it’s two hours of building, or just people going across the map to find a dungeon. Purgatory, even while watching only one team most of the time, was way too exhausting for me, even if I had fun watching it and gosh every big event was nerve wracking, it was too much for me. I was glad to take a few days break for a while and, I will say it, BBH’s impressive intensive amnesia RP, viewed from Etoiles’ POV I was watching, drained me way faster than anything else. And you know what? That’s great! Because it means that people who love that kind of intensity are getting FED and that’s so cool.

Bottom line

I am begging for people to respect the fact that no two people have the same kind of play and RP. I have absolutely nothing against any personal preference since I know that what I enjoy makes other people fully bored, but words matter. No one out there should be going around saying “This CC’s RP suck! They don’t even do any!” when it just isn’t true. “This CC’s RP is way too subtle for me, I don’t even feel like they do any” THAT is a good take. If I agree or not with it, it doesn’t matter, but people are getting way too comfortable sharing their personal feelings as facts and that is why we slide into toxicity and anger towards each other. I personally don’t vibe with BBH’s more intense RP. And? It’s far from being bad RP, it’s just not my cup of tea!

TL:DR;

There are 3 Modes: Out-Of-RP which is fully meta, RP which is being in-character, and LORE which is being very intensively in character linked to events. No two streamers on the QSMP have the same level of intensity in RP and LORE and that is perfectly fine. Just don’t spread your preferences as if they were facts, it’s what feeds toxic exchanges and it can be fixed really easily by changing how you bring things to the table.

Thanks for taking time to read!