#but if they come back then their Krampus is welcome to beat the shit out of the Crew some more! c:

[sins-of-the-sea]

"What an ordeal. I'm glad I didn't set up a Tio de Nadal. Not only because Guy might burn it by accident like he did Phoebus, but just... in general, I wouldn't be able to feed it as tradition would have it."

"Speaking of tradition, whatever happened to the Krampus coming over? We even received warnings of his coming."

"Maybe he psyched out!! Maybe the torture he was giving us is the anticipation he could come by and we'd be afraid the entire time! But Krampusnacht has long passed and Christmas will be here in a few days!"

"I can take comfort in that he probably forgot." A knock came from the door of the dining hall. "Can you get that, Giovanni?"

"Sure thing." And so, Giovanni opens the door...

Ho ho ho, merry shitscram, assholes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!"

"ROUND THREE, MOTHERFUCKER!!" And so, the yearly tradition of belated Krampusnacht continues with birch-whipping and asskicking.

[laurinebruder]

The Naughty List Writing Tag

Welcome, dear readers, to @jennamoreci​‘s awesome writing tag, The Naughty List!

I love writing tags like this, so even though AMBERSHIELD has been set aside to simmer before I work on edits, I decided to use its cast of characters to answer these questions. Here we go!

THE RULES:

1) Provide a brief description of your novel before beginning. NO MORE THAN 5 SENTENCES.

Izzy, a 20-year-old priestess, flings tradition to the side when she refuses to sign a contract binding her to a paladin protector and flees her home the night before the signing. She needs to find her sister, missing for the past 6 years, and doesn't need a pretentious prick in plate armor telling her what to do. However, the mystery of her sister's whereabouts becomes muddled with the rise of a new cult and the appearance of the Undead. When she finally learns the whereabouts of her sister, she has a desperate choice to make: stay loyal to her only family or pursue her own freedom.

2) If your cast is fewer than 15 characters, you can’t use the same name more than twice. If your cast is larger than 15 characters, you can’t use the same name more than once.

THE QUESTIONS:

#1 Which character is SO into the holidays, they nearly cause a street-wide power outage from all their Christmas lights?

That would most likely be Desi. She gets really excited when it comes to festivals. Not only is there usually a lot of booze and dancing going on, but when shown the wonder of Christmas lights...yeah, she'd want them all. Everything. Even the gaudiest, biggest Santa on her lawn.

#2 Which character attends the office new years party with ONE date…and goes home with someone else?

Hmmm, if one of my characters was really douchey enough to do that, it'd have to be Sigismund. He has no qualms about ditching something (or someone) he deems as less than acceptable. After all, he's the one who tried to trade in his assigned priest for a better one, even after signing the contract. Bastard.

#3 Which character is more than happy to steal Hanukkah gelt from poor, unsuspecting children? [Note: Hanukkah gelt = chocolate coins]

...Oh damn, whoever does this is a huge dick...I'd have to say Sigismund again. This guy's got a serious attitude problem and he hates kids, so he would have no qualms about taking candy from them and then smacking them to give them something to “really cry about.”

#4 Fill in the blanks: I saw ____[character]____ doing a whole lot more than ____[verb]____-ing Santa Claus. They were full on ____[action]____.

I saw Izzy doing a whole lot more than slapping Santa Claus. They were full on fighting. If some old guy with a giant beard in a red suit came for her under anything that traditionally required kissing...yeah, she's gonna beat his ass. She don't swing that way.

#5 One of your characters decides to pregame before church and passes out in the middle of the Christmas service. Which character is it?

Desi. Flat out. She's not one for religion and she loves her wine. Of course, she'd only be at church to begin with because her grampy insisted she go. She'd feel bad for embarrassing him, but then she'd shrug and go, “I warned you.”

#6 Which character hasn’t been seen since winter began because they refuse to deal with the snow?

After too many years spent in a convent up in the mountains, Cait is never leaving the comfy warmth of her manor to deal with snow. Ever. Again. She's like a Wisconsinite that finally got a chance to go south for the winter after dealing with that mess for her whole life.

#7 Which character completely forgot about the holidays and ends up regifting to everyone?

Niko wouldn't forget about the holiday, per se, rather he'd be wandering for so long that he kind of forgets entire months. (Izzy still hasn't forgiven him for bailing on her before her contract signing. He was her getaway, damnit!) So he'd end up giving everyone whatever someone else had given him first. If he even had anything at all.

#8 Which character has such crappy luck, they only discover their potato allergy after pigging out on latkes?

As an amateur epicurean, Izzy would try anything under the sun, just to say she tried it. Then she would break out into hives, shrug, heal herself (because what's the point in being a healer if you can't), and then go right back to eating, while avoiding what made her break out in the first place. Hives are so unattractive.

#9 The Krampus has arrived to punish your very bad characters. Which character is kinda into it?

Ah, the closet kink of the bunch. It's Than. Than may be a brick shit house of a man, but he loves being dominated. However, he does have standards, and he'd have to insist the Krampus wear a disguise or a glamour of some kind, cause good fucking gods, have you seen that thing? It's not at all sexy.

#10 One of your characters should be on the naughty list, but has convinced Santa to clear their name. Which character is it, and what was their means of persuasion?

Cait would use all of her talents at manipulation to wring Santa's heart and convince him that she deserved a second chance. She's very good at getting people to follow her (she doesn't have a cult for nothing) and at playing to their desires. …...Okay, and yeah, she'd also use her feminine wiles on him. Cause she's sexy and she knows it.

I love holiday writing tags :D I tag @shuubunni and anyone else who would like to join in.

Joyous tidings to all this holiday season. No matter what you celebrate, I hope you have love, joy, and comfort in your lives. Thanks for stopping by, dear readers, and I’ll see you next time!