#but if theres someone else then they might just redirect me to them

[parallasso]

FUCKING FINALLY!!! i have been referred to a surgeon and hopefully insurance will approve it otherwise i explode and die

[uncloseted]

i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)

I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆

Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).

If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.

Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.

In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:

Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".

Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.

Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.

Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.

Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.

Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.

For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.

76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.

You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.

There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.

Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.

I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️

[booksandchainmail]

nanoha vivid liveblog: episode 11

Time for Corona vs. Einhart!

ok, i know wendi is referring to teo, but i did misinterpret at the start as einhart has been nicknamed kitty cat

... still better than most of the other contestants

attacking from the start, before corona can summon. it’s the obvious weakness of anyone who needs prep in the way she does

but shes ready for this it seems, and starts summoning while still in the air, which is pretty cool

oooh, i don’t think anyone else has used the terrain like this. makes you wonder how corona would fare in a larger or varied arena

damn. the goliath packs a punch

Einhart know the first rule of fighting someone with a summoned creature: directly attack the controller

Or in this case, separate her from the golem to where she’s vulnerable

Oh, seems like goliath needs pretty active instructions at all times, which means with corona knocked away, he just kinda stands there and gets hit

the most brutal attack of this match

I think we’ve seen elements in this in how corona started planning from the assumption that einhart could beat her: she’s very level-headed. That extending into combat is valuable, especially in a setting like this where her opponents are also amateurs and likely to falter under pressure. Though einhart might be less vulnerable to that, due to her war memories

her strengths fit her powers well. She literally creates in order to fight, and she needs to be strategic in order to get time and space to summon.

is she gonna stab einhart

This is a very calm match, in comparison to the others we’ve seen. It’s partly that theyre friends, and there’s no grudge driving them, but also just a lot who they are as people. Einhart and corona are both relatively quiet, but also self-assured. They have good understandings of their own abilities, and you can see that here in how calmly they return to the ring, theres no worry about running out of time or how theyre going to continue

flashback time!

I really love the range of motivations and backstories this show gives the contestants. You do have people with tragic backstories, or who want to prove themselves, or have a deep passion for martial arts, but you also have those who just value the connections it brings, or for whom its just an extracurricular. You don’t need to be deeply motivated to do something, it can still be a meaningful part of your life, and you’re not lesser or shallower for it.

I also like the idea (idk if this is canon) that Corona sought out summoning because she recognized that she couldn’t keep up with normal fighting. It’s a unusual thing in a fighting show to have a character who isn’t at the same level as everyone else, and who finds their own style that draws on different strengths.

this is a great summary of everyone’s motivations, but also einhart is hilariously incongruous with the others 

OH SHIT I THOUGHT THE PARTIAL SUMMONING WAS HER NEW TECHNIQUE

HOLY

FUCKING

CHRIST

shes just knocking einhart around effortlessly

ooooooh

This makes a lot of sense for Corona’s character! She’s a clever and observant fighter who’s willing to innovate but not particularly talented, and who takes motivation primarily from her friends. Of course she studies their techniques, and of course she copies them

And no wonder einhart was caught off guard, it’s like she was suddenly fighting a different person

but einhart gets up

she’s spent her life struggling with hundreds of years of guilt and grief, and just keeps on going through all of that

i think klaus may have been defined by his loss, but einhart is defined by the strength it takes to carry that loss

…y’know, you could have rested a little bit before forcing yourself up, there was plenty of time

oh this is tricky. Can corona press an attack, which is definitely outside her normal mode of fighting, or does she give up the advantage she’s won here?

The other question is if corona also learned anything from rio, or from einhart herself, though I think using her own style against her could backfire badly

… if that’s based off vivio, it’s primarily a counter, and using it for a direct attack might not work as well

ducking like that is both well suited to the height difference, and one of vivio’s signature moves

most of how corona’s moving here fits vivio, or any of the more close quarter fighters we’ve seen, but that arm sweep looked new to me, and seems very indicative of corona’s fighting style. Calm, collected, redirecting the opponent.

and in contrast, you can see how panicked einhart looks, which is very unusual for her

Okay, things are looking bad for einhart here. But she’ll have a chance to heal, and I think the next round will go differently. A lot of corona’s success here is she’s brought out completely new techniques and styles, and einhart’s just been reeling most of the bout: all her fighting’s been very basic hand-to-hand, with basically no hegemon style attacks or more elaborate moves. But with a chance to collect herself and replan, I think einhart’s experience will let her adapt to this fairly quickly. Additionally, a lot of corona’s new moves are based off vivio, who einhart has fought (and beat) before.

so she has copied from rio as well

OH

that’s a neat twist. It explains how she was able to pick these moves up so quickly, and how she can handle without any particular skill at martial arts. This also explains why Nove disapproved: I can’t imagine using techniques meant to control large amounts of stone on your own body is particularly safe.

That’s fucking cool. 

And also a massive weakness, because it makes her predictable. If einhart can figure out what triggers one of those moves, then immediately counter based on knowing how corona will respond, she can retaliate very quickly

from your own memories, or klaus’s?

this is the complete opposite of how I’d expected an einhart vs corona fight to play out

yeah, she’s not just copying specific moves, but entire fighting styles. that is honestly incredible, especially when you consider she had to pre-program them all herself

awww, i’m glad to see she’s in there too

Having multiple settings gives corona a lot more flexibility…

...but einhart’s already figuring out the pattern

I can’t help but think this technique would work a lot better on anyone else. Corona has the disadvantage her of her opponent already knowing all the sources of her automated moves, but imagine a fight where one side keeps pulling out new completely unknown styles every couple of hits.

I guess that’s why this isn’t common

Oops

Yeah the other reason einhart can deal with this is she has a completely ridiculous level of knowledge about this one particular style

And corona is starting to fight wildly, while einhart remains calm. This is a complete reversal of the previous round

Holy fuck is that blood

~tempting faaaate~

and yup, automation is weak to feints from people who know the moveset.

Though to be fair, I don’t know if a non-automated fighter would have dealt with that any better

DOES THIS TOURNAMENT FOR CHILDREN HAVE SAFETY STANDARDS

PLEASE DO NOT MAGICALLY PUPPET YOUR OWN ENTIRE BODY

i feel like that would go badly

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

theres some excellent and creepy puppet imagery going on here

And einhart mostly just looks sad here. I’m guessing with memories of actual war, she’s not that happy about her friends pushing themselves this dangerously for a competition?

OR ITS ABOUT OLIVIE AGAIN

because this is einhart, and everything always comes back to olivie

But yeah, the puppet connection would be a bad reminder. And corona’s whole  feeling weak compared to her teammates, and wanting to be able to stand next to them, seems like it connects pretty strongly to olivie’s story 

she just looks so tired and sad here, and i’m remembering how happy she was at the idea of a way to fight without stakes, and she’s just now realizing that even if they aren’t lethal, there are still consequences to these matches

at this point, einhart is pretty in control of the battlefield. she’s brilliant at this kind of fighting, and corona doesn’t have any moves that einhart hasn’t already fought against

I’m starting to think this fight won’t end with an attack, but with corona just collapsing when her magic or body wears out

another connection to olivie with the damaged arms. this must be hell for einhart to have to fight

gods

just, can someone stop this match please? are there any kinds of precautions?

and here’s the hardest part for einhart. Because of her memories, she has a pretty unique first-hand perspective on war. I don’t think mid-childa has had a war, and certainly not recently enough to still have wartime soldiers around. And even with all the pain they cause her, there must be some comfort in the fact that olivie’s dream of peace was achieved, even at the cost of her life. But here, even in this peaceful world, there are still children willing to hurt themselves terribly in order to have the power to fight. And this must feel like such a failure and betrayal of the world to einhart. 

THEN STOP

NO, GIVE UP PLEASE

THAT IS A MAJOR PROBLEM

i want nanoha to show up to stop the match and yell at everybody about techniques that excessively strain your body

THERES MORE?!!!??!!

ok, that’s a fair point. Corona has pulled out some really impressive moves here, but she hasn’t done much in the way of golem stuff. I wonder if in her rush to make up for her weaknesses, she’s discounted her own techniques too much?

finally

corona has amazing terrain manipulation abilities. combine that with her summoning, the automated moves, and even i guess the full body technique, and she’s maybe the most versatile fighter we’ve seen. In a larger area with unfamiliar opponents, or as support for a team, she’d be devastating.

all those anime characters who dramatically slice rocks in half with a sword have nothing compared to einhart

ooh, nice feint using the partial summon as well as the big one. even here at the end, corona continues to fight smart

and now she has a ranged attack as well. no matter the outcome of the tournament, i’m voting corona for mvp

awwwwww

and she uses binding magic as well, because apparently corona reacted to not being as good at punching people as her friends by learning EVERYTHING ELSE

bit of tonal dissonance, but awwwww kitty!

and her golem can reassemble itself.

corona is amazing

but einhart is the martial arts master, and she just stops it stone cold

what a hell of a match. this was definitely my favorite fight so far, and the finale’s gonna have a tough time topping that. The variety of techniques and strategies used, as well as the brilliant character work on corona and einhart, made this incredible to watch. 

it was hard fought, and corona pulled out ten times what anyone expected from her, but in the end einhart managed a victory

but in the aftermath, she just looks defeated

this was a hard match emotionally on all sides

(i count myself as a side)

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Somewhere On Your Road Tonight (ch. 12 of 16)

Sara and Leonard made a life for themselves, together in 1958, after the Waverider left them, Ray and Kendra behind. But now they're back on the ship, Mick has been twisted into Chronos, Kendra is pregnant, and Savage is still out there. They'll deal--together. (Sequel to "Chances Are.")

The second of the "River of Time" chapters! Turns out Leonard couldn't completely avoid everything that happened to him in the original(?) timeline.

Many thanks to LarielRomeniel for the beta! This can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

Leonard’s wanted Savage defeated since he first saw Rip’s image of his city in flames, over the rooftops of Central City that fateful day.

He’s wanted Savage dead since the day the warlord threatened to kill Mick, not so long into their mission.

The way he feels now combines both those feelings and still makes them pale in comparison.

He pauses outside the brig and takes a few deep, steadying breaths, recalling every lesson learned though decades of being Lewis Snart’s son. He has a certain scary conviction that Lewis and Savage are more similar than anyone else might consider.

But he considers. He considers for a long few moments.

And then he saunters into the brig, head held high.

Savage isn’t facing him. The warlord is leaning against the wall, facing away. “Dr. Stein,” he starts in his oozing voice, starting to turn, “I told you, I…”

He stops when he sees his visitor, though, and Leonard thinks there’s actually a flicker of surprise there. Interesting. Leonard halts, folding his arms and regarding Savage with a mildly interested but unenthused expression. He doesn’t speak.

Savage doesn’t let on to anything past that second of surprise, though. He finishes turning, studying the thief intently, and then smiles.

“Ah,” he says, folding his hands in front of himself. “Mr. Snart. I will confess, I was not expecting a visit from you.”

Leonard tilts his head and lifts an eyebrow. It’s an invitation to continue, and Savage takes it.

“The others, certainly.” The warlord takes a deliberate step closer, then another. “They have questions, or they simply want to gawk.” The smile grows. “You, however, do not seem the sort to fall prey to such…prosaic concerns.”

Leonard smirks at him. He knows an attempt to flatter when he hears it. He wants no part of that from Vandal Savage, but he knows how to play the game.

“What can I say?” he drawls with a shrug. “I do tend to be curious.”

Savage inclines his head, keeping his eyes on Leonard.

“Well, I’m glad,” he says. “I think, perhaps, that we have more in common than the rest of this…” he waves a hand, “…motley collection Captain Hunter has assembled.”

Leonard’s eyes narrow before he can stop himself. “We’re nothing alike,” he says a bit sharply, then, cursing his reaction, smooths it out a bit. “For one thing, I’m out here.” Another tilt of his head toward Savage, locked in the brig. “And you…well.”

Oh, the other man doesn’t like that. His eyes narrow, too, before he also attempts to hide it. “But you have to know that none of this group of so-called heroes would hesitate to put you in here as well, in any other circumstance,” he said smoothly. “For simply being what you are. Something far more pragmatic and far less holier-than-thou than they are.” He spreads his hands out. “A survivor.”

He’s good. There’s just enough truth in there that once, it might have even hit a nerve. But Leonard’s been through more than he thinks Savage knows, with this team and particularly three other members of it, and he’s not the person he used to be either. Still, it seems best to play along, a little. He gives Savage a thin smile, one that could be read as agreement or simply understanding.

“Indeed,” he drawls, studying his nails. “And you’re good at that, too, aren’t you? In a manner of speaking.” He looks up, suddenly. “Too good to get trapped here so easily, I’d think.”

Savage stares, then smiles back, a similar expression, thin and considering. He waits.

And Leonard continues. “So, I’m thinking,” he says casually, starting to pace in an equally insouciant manner, “that you might just want to be here.” He turns, ambling slowly back to the left, not looking at Savage. “And I’ll admit, I’m wondering why.”

Stop. Turn. He finally looks back at the man in the brig.

Savage’s expression isn’t quite what he’d expected. He’d expected anger, or maybe surprise. Consternation, maybe. A combination of all three.

But, no. No, Savage looks thrilled. Like he’s found himself someone who gets it.

“Well. Well. Well,” the other man says. “I think we need to have a talk, Mr. Snart. I think maybe we can come to…a mutually beneficial agreement.” A pause. “Let me out, and we’ll talk. I think the Time Masters could use a clever and pragmatic man like yourself.”

And then he smiles. A big smile. A commiserating one.

It turns Leonard’s stomach, actually. He resists the wave of nausea, though, and keeps his expression steely, watching Savage, trying to decide how to play this. In some ways, Savage just confirmed something, but he needs more information. And letting Savage out won’t be good for anyone.

But neither would allowing things to continue as they are.

Leonard makes himself take one step closer to the door of the brig, the warlord’s eyes on him avidly. Then he pauses, as if considering something.

“Tell me first,” he says casually, looking at Savage. “Confirm that I’m right. That you’re working with the Time Masters.” He pauses again. “I need to hear that. Before I commit.” He lets his eyes drift to the lock. “Because if I do this…I’m committed.”

Savage studies him, his face giving nothing away. Then he starts to speak…

Raymond almost skids into the brig, like he’s been running, coming to a halt a few feet from Leonard and pulling himself up, like he’s been entrusted with a very important task. He doesn’t even look at Savage, but he grins at Leonard as if the other man has given him a very surprising gift.

“I have your back,” he tells Leonard staunchly. “I’m sorry; it took Sara a few more minutes to find me. I was…”

Leonard holds up a hand, and Raymond stops. He’d actually just about forgotten he’d asked Sara to send the other man for backup, a measure of how uneasy he was about Savage, so this is his fault, really, he thinks. There’s not even any point in blaming Raymond. More’s the pity.

For a moment, both he and Savage stare at the scientist, whose grin flags just a little.

Then Savage sighs, just a bit dramatically, and shakes his head.

“Oh, Dr. Palmer,” he says almost pityingly. “Incredibly bad timing as usual.”

Leonard can’t disagree, but Raymond’s chin goes up and he looks at his teammate as if expecting a defense. When Leonard shrugs, he rolls his eyes and looks back at Savage.

“Well,” he retorts, “could be worse. I’m out here and you’re in there, after all.”

Leonard closes his eyes with a sigh, bidding farewell to any hopes of getting more out of Savage. The warlord is focused on Raymond now, a sly smile on his face…and, oh crap, this probably isn’t good at all.

“You…now, you, I’ve been expecting for a while now,” he says a bit mockingly to the scientist. “I’m surprised it’s taken you so long, to be honest.”

Raymond starts to speak again, but Savage talks right over the top of him. “Here to ask how to free your rival’s mind, are you?” He smirks as Leonard and Raymond stare at him. “The moment I release him, you know, you will lose her forever. We're actually quite alike, you and I.”

He leers at them both…but as the silence continues and Leonard and Raymond keep staring at him, that expression flags a little. Then it vanishes, and Savage’s eyes narrow in ire.

It occurs to Leonard that they could use this. Things are clearly different than Savage—just like Chronos—had been led to believe they would be. He whips his head around to look at his teammate, his own eyes narrowed.

“Raym…” he starts to say warningly.

But it’s too late. Raymond finds his voice—and laughs at Savage, an amused sound that also manages an edge of scorn.

“Wow,” he tells the captive. “You’re really behind the times. And what makes you think Carter’s even on this ship?”

Savage takes a step closer to the clear barrier. Leonard sees something flash through his eyes—dismay, rage, consternation. A plan pops into his head, then. Probably not a good idea—OK, definitely not a good idea—but sometimes you gotta roll the dice.

“Chay-Ara would never…” Savage starts.

“First, she’s not Chay-Ara now. She’s Kendra. Second, that wasn’t even Carter, or the version of Khufu she knew,” Raymond informs him. “Third…”

Leonard steps in before the altogether-too-forthcoming scientist can spill even more beans than he has. “I think,” he says smoothly, “that we need…more information.” He gives Raymond a look. The other man’s eyes widen, and he gives Leonard a solemn look in return, but Leonard’s already studying Savage again.

“Raymond,” he says quietly. “Go away.”

“Yeah…what?” But then Raymond nods, jerkily, and takes a step back as Leonard glances over. “Oh. Um. OK.” He looks at Savage. And then smirks. Widely. “OK.”

Leonard’s almost proud at the sheer un-Raymond-like attitude. But he waits another long moment for the other man to leave before looking back at Savage. The warlord is staring after the scientist with an expression that looks part baffled and part enraged.

“So,” Leonard drawls, dragging Savage’s attention back to him, “where were we?”

Savage stares at him a moment, then steps closer to the glass. “The man named Carter Hall,” he says. “He isn’t on this ship?”

Leonard considers lying, just for a moment. “Nope,” he drawls, though, folding his arms. “I mean, he was, at best, a reincarnation of Carter Hall. And he was a real asshat.” Savage actually snorts, and Leonard smirks. But he doesn’t say anything more about that.

Instead, he redirects the conversation again. “We were talking,” he says casually, stepping closer. “And…?”

Savage regards him. “Let me out,” he says finally. “I need a gesture too. Before I give you anything.”

Leonard regards him in return. Then he pulls his cold gun out of his holster and primes it, pushing it to the highest setting.

This is a bad idea. This is a very bad idea. But every instinct in him says they’re on their way to disaster at the Vanishing Point. And the need to stand between that and Sara…and frankly, all the others…is strong indeed. If he can get anything, anything at all, out of Savage…well, he’ll do it.

He hesitates a moment…and then slaps the lock to the brig, opening the door.

Savage steps out, face solemn, eyes bright and altogether too pleased. Leonard points the cold gun at him, grimly, watching him intently for any sign of the trouble he’s sure is coming.

“OK,” he grits out. “You’re out. Tell me. What are the Time Masters up to?”

Savage smiles, holding his hands out to either side. “I’ll admit, I’m still wondering,” he says smoothly. “You were…not a visitor I expected. I thought, at first, that perhaps it was just that native pragmatism, that you saw how the wind was blowing and came to make a deal.” He takes a step toward Leonard. “But. I wonder.”

Leonard’s eyes narrow. He raises his gun a little, aiming it right at the warlord, the blue light reflected in Savage’s eyes. “This wasn’t the deal. I want to know about the Time Masters.”

Savage continues as if he hadn’t spoken. “From everything I know of you, Mr. Snart, you’re not one to care about anyone other than yourself. Not much, anyway. Your partner the arsonist, perhaps, to some extent.” He tilts his head. “But. Something has changed. Hasn’t it? Well, well. And how did that happen?” His smile grows even slyer. “You care for someone on this crew of losers.”

Leonard steps forward before he can stop himself, hand tightening on the cold gun’s trigger. “Talk or get back in the goddamned brig,” he hisses. “I just want to know the truth.”

“It’s not Chay-Ara. Or the scientist,” Savage muses, continuing his thought. “Certainly not the captain.” A light appears in his eyes. “Ah. The assassin. Oooh, Mr. Snart. She is lovely. Is that what you want, then? You want the Time Masters to give her to you. In exchange for…”

The very idea is both absurd and stomach-churching, and Leonard can’t keep this up any longer. “Don’t you even say her name,” he snaps, unable to keep the fury from his tone. “You…

But he’s distracted now, angry and disgusted, and it’s enough. Savage takes the chance, lunging like a striking snake and grabbing the cold gun, wrenching it around. Leonard catches himself quickly enough to fight him for it, but while they’re grappling for the gun, Savage gets a hand on the trigger and a spray of blue-white energy emits from it, freezing an icy path across the ceiling, the wall, and…

And, as Savage gives the weapon another jerk, across Leonard’s right hand.

He yells, but it’s not like it hurts. Not at first. It’s too much of a shock, a jarring sensation of extreme cold and then numbness. More than numbness, really, though that’s how his brain processes it. Because at that setting, the hand isn’t even living flesh anymore; it’s already shreds of dead, frozen tissue encased in ice. There’s no saving it, and he can’t think about that right now, he can’t, he’s still fighting Savage as best he can.

But the blast was a shock to his system, and no matter how he tries to hang onto the gun with his other hand, his body and his brain have other ideas, like shutting down and curling up to figuratively lick his wounds. Savage yanks the gun away, laughing triumphantly, and…

Raymond crashes back into the brig, in his Atom suit, hand out and energy beam blasting forward to strike the surprised Savage full on, smashing the warlord across the room and into the wall. He drops like a stone, unconscious, the cold gun skittering across the floor in a way that would irritate Leonard if he wasn’t trying desperately to stay conscious despite the shock. It still doesn’t quite hurt; he’s pretty sure that will come later as things start… thawing…

Raymond studies Savage for a second, then apparently decides the man is truly down for the count and looks at Leonard instead. Leonard, glancing upward as a cold sweat breaks out on his forehead, sees Raymond’s eyes widen as he steps forward.

“Oh,” he breathes. “Oh, crap. Snart…”

Leonard knows he probably owes the scientist his life, but he’s not up for admitting that just yet. “You…coulda…busted in here…sooner,” he pants, curled protectively around the hand that is no longer really a hand.

“I went and got my suit, just in case; I’ve only been back a moment and I didn’t realize you were in trouble at first.” There’s distress in the scientist’s eyes as Leonard peers up at him. “Let’s get you to the medbay.”

“We need…to get Savage…back in the cell first.”

“You can’t…”

That’s when Rip runs into the room, his gun in his hand, although he puts on the brakes immediately to take in the scene in front of him. Relief at the sight of Savage out of commission resolves into dismay at the sight of Leonard and his hand…and faint irritation that seems to be directed at Raymond.

“Bloody hell,” he says with an explosive sigh. “Gideon said Vandal Savage was free. Dr. Palmer, do you realize…”

“I didn’t let him out!” the other man protests. “It was…ah…”

The room’s starting to swim in front of Leonard’s eyes, and the line where living flesh meets frozen is starting to, it seems, register what’s happened. He puts his shoulder against the wall, closing his eyes and fighting nausea and a rising tide of pain, then forces them open again.

“Don’t blame him, Rip,” he mutters. “It was me.”

The look of consternation on Rip’s face would be amusing if he was in a little better condition. Leonard shakes his head roughly, trying to clear his head. He can’t even manage his usual smirk.

“I’m going to presume that you weren’t trying to set him loose on all of us, but then what…” The captain stops himself and sighs. “But not now. Let’s get you to the medbay and get you fixed up.”

There’s only so much fixing that’s going to be possible, and Leonard doesn’t want to think about it. “Who’s flying the ship?” he mutters, watching as Rip and Raymond drag the still-senseless Savage into the brig and close the door securely. “Thought there was enough damage you needed someone on the bridge.”

“Ms. Lance, actually,” the captain tells him, dusting his hands off and scowling at Savage’s prone figure through the clear barrier. “With Gideon’s assistance.”

“Huh.” Leonard closes his eyes again. He’s starting to gray out…and he’s pretty sure he’s going to lose the battle against it soon.

“Good,” he slurs. “Good. Most competent person on this…bucket…”

And that’s when he passes out.

When Leonard wakes up again, there’s no more pain. Except for some residual grogginess, his head is clear, though there’s the sort of distance he associates with good painkillers, the kind he rarely allows himself to take.

And he doesn’t have a right hand.

Leonard tilts his head and studies the stump clinically, glad for the distance granted by drugs, for once. While he was out, someone must have melted what remained of the hand and trimmed the dead flesh away, which wouldn’t have been a pleasant process. The line of amputation otherwise seems to be clean. Odd.

He’s in a medbay-type chair, slightly reclined, and his right arm is resting, lightly strapped down, on a low table next to it. Above the stump, there’s a suspended, thin cylinder that’s glowing glue and pointed downward. He’s only started studying it, though, when Rip bustles into the room, Mick right behind him.

“Ah, you are awake!” The captain nods to him, then starts tapping at a screen nearby. “This will just be a moment, Mr. Snart. We’ve slowed our approach just for you, I’ll have you know. Thought you’d want to go through this first, given your trepidation about the Vanishing Point.”

Leonard frowns at him, but he’s also distracted by Mick, who’s standing there at the foot of the chair, glaring at him in a way in which Leonard’s pretty sure he’s glared at Mick after any number of particularly foolish moves over the years.

“You’re an idiot,” Mick tells his friend, tone harsh in a way that Leonard knows perfectly well hides other feelings.

Well, things may be different now, but Leonard’s not really up for having that talk at the moment. “No argument,” he says, resting his head back against the chair. “Ship OK? I mean, we’re apparently not dead.”

Rip ignores him. Mick scowls. “Not for lack of trying,” he mutters, then repeats: “Idiot.”

Leonard gives him a long-suffering look, then blinks, remembering the state of other things before his own debacle with Savage. “Wait. How’s the kid?”

“Jax? Gone.” Mick waves a hand as Leonard’s eyes widen. “Not like that. Me an’ the professor sent him back to 2016 to save his life. Should work.”

“Good.” Well, at least one of them might get out of this alive.

“Well, not for the professor.” However, Mick continues before Leonard can ask about that. “You’re a lucky bastard, Snart. But you still gotta face the music for being a dumbass.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a stupid move. I…”

“No. I meant Blondie. She’s gonna be in here next.” Mick grins evilly as Leonard closes his eyes. “Have fun. I suggest groveling.”

“I don’t grovel.” He hates the whine in his own voice, but frankly, it’s been a rough day. Mick just chuckles, shakes his head, and leaves.

“Oh, given Ms. Lance’s ire, I think you might want to consider it.” Rip claps his hands together. “Especially since you’re going to be a captive audience for the next little while. Gideon, start the regeneration process.”

The pen thing starts to glow more. Leonard eyes it, and Rip, with uncertainty. “What do you mean by ‘regeneration?’” He’d make a Doctor Who joke if he was in a better mood. As it is, he’s feeling a quiver of hope he didn’t suspect was possible.

“I took genetic samples from each of you at the start of our voyage,” the captain tells him almost cheerfully, “for this exact eventuality.”

It’s a little disconcerting, that Rip thought it was that possible this would be necessary. A spray of blue light is now emitting from the pen thing, spilling onto the stump of Leonard’s right arm. He stares at it, feeling his skin prickle.

“Why am I only hearing about this now?” he drawls, glancing at the captain.

Rip actually smiles. “Because none of you had lost a limb yet.”

Good point. Leonard watches in fascination as the light grows stronger, and then: “Ow.”

It’s like it’s a 3-D printer, but for flesh and bone. And it seems like it should actually be hurting far more than it is, considering that there’s now a skeletal hand protruding from the blunt termination of his wrist. And the sight’s both creepy and incredible, but it’s not like that for long—next is a network of nerves and blood vessels, muscles, and then skin, over the top of it all like a blank slate, scars he’s had for decades gone as it they’d never been there.

The entire process takes seconds. Leonard’s new fingers twitch involuntarily as he stares at them. He’d forced himself not to think about what life would hold for a thief without his dominant hand, and this…this is a miracle unlooked for. He’s not sure what to do with it.

Rip chuckles, the sound full of pleasure in the tricks his beloved ship has up her metaphorical sleeve. In a smooth motion, he tosses something toward Leonard, and the other man catches it involuntarily—a stress ball, the sort used to exercise injured or weak hands or wrists.

“Stay here until you’re sure you’re steady,” the captain instructs. “You’ve had a great many shocks to your system.” The smile goes a little sly. “And, as Mr. Rory said, you have to face the music.”

Leonard stares after him as he tries to tell his hand to contract its fingers around the ball. He’s still watching the door when Sara stalks in.

He’s already mentally rehearsing what he’s going to say to her, but that all flies out the window when he gets a good look. He’d expected anger and irritation for doing such a dumb thing—and those emotions are there, in spades. He deserves them, and he knows that.

But as she steps closer, he can see Sara’s eyes are red-rimmed, the bright blue even brighter in contrast with her skin. She’s been crying. About him? Or is something else…

“What’s wrong?” he blurts out uncharacteristically.

Sara’s eyes narrow. Oops.

“You’re an idiot,” she tells him, voice matter-of-fact.

“Mick has informed me of that fact.” Leonard pauses, searching for the right thing to say. “I’m sorry?”

Sara rolls her eyes at him, pulling up a chair and taking a seat. “You better be,” she mutters, inspecting his hand, which is resting again on the table. “That’s incredible.”

Leonard tries to get his fingers to flex again and is pleased when they respond, mostly. “Yeah. I’ll admit that. I owe ol’ Rip.”

Sara eyes him again. She’s all too obviously not going to let herself be distracted. “ ‘What’s wrong,’” she repeats carefully. “Did you really mean that?”

Leonard blinks at her. “Yes? Mick said Stein found a way to save Jax. Is there something…”

He lets his voice trail off. Given the look Sara’s giving him, it seems the best thing to do.

She sits back in her chair a moment and studies him, then shakes her head. “Do you have any idea,” she says carefully. “what you looked like when Mick carried you into the medbay earlier?”

“No?”

“You were unconscious, pale as…as ice. And your hand…” Sara takes a deep breath. “It was melting. And there were…rags…of dead skin, blackened flesh, hanging off your arm. It was…I’ve seen some rough things, Leonard. This was…it was bad. And what was there was rough, jagged, and…” She let her voice trail off then. “Gideon sedated you so you wouldn’t wake up in the middle of it, and Stein helped walk me through…cleaning things up.”

Leonard swallows hard. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that.” Sara glares at him. “What on earth possessed you to let Savage out? You kept saying he was a danger to all of us. What…”

“I thought I could get him to tell me what he was up to. ‘Cause it turned out he thought I was there to throw my lot in with his.” He gives her a thin smile as she swears. “I’m a villain, after all.”

“You’re more than that, and everyone on this ship but Vandal Savage knows it.” Sara studies him. “Still a stupid thing to do.”

“Indubitably.”

“You tried to play him.” She shakes her head. “And he used me against you. Yeah, Gideon gave us access to the video records. I heard it. He distracted you.”

The last thing—one of the last things—Leonard wants is for her to blame herself in any shape or form. “If it wasn’t you, it would have been something else,” he admits. “The minute I let him out of the brig. But…”

“But Savage worries you that much.”

“Yeah.” He hesitates. “He came pretty close to confirming that he’s working with the Time Masters, even if I didn’t get him to say it point blank. Did Rip see that?”

Sara sighs. “After the fact, yes. But it didn’t change anything. He thinks this is our only option.” She stands, then, and holds a hand out to him, and Leonard knows he’s (mostly) forgiven. He slips his left hand into hers, levering himself upward with a grunt, and has to pause to fight back vertigo. After a moment, they start back into the hallway, though Sara steers him in the direction of the bridge instead of their room.

“We’re almost to the Vanishing Point,” she says quietly. “I think we both probably want to see what happens.”

Leonard would really like to lie down, which seems silly given that he’s apparently spent a good deal of time unconscious recently. But Sara’s right about that.

“Hear you flew the ship,” he says, trying to make his tone light, glancing over at her.

“Yeah.” Sara’s lips curve. “Not a thing I’d ever thought I’d want to do. But I enjoyed it.”

“Told our captain you were the most competent person on this ship.” He chuckles a little as she lifts an eyebrow at him. “And then I passed out. That’s one way to get the last word around here.”

“Yeah, well, don’t you ever try it on me.”

All of the others are on the bridge, all watching the viewscreen, when they enter. Leonard ignores Raymond’s enthusiastic greeting and requests to see his new hand and nods in acknowledgement of Stein and Kendra’s pleased welcome—and Mick’s still-irritated grunt. He sits with alacrity in one of the jump seats, trying not to look like he’s exhausted from walking just the distance from the medbay to the bridge.

“Is that…” Sara starts, stepping closer to where Rip is sitting, staring out the viewscreen. Leonard looks, too. The odd, complicated jumble of black structures there at the supposed edge of the timeline is like nothing he’s ever seen before, but…

He shakes his head roughly as a shiver runs down his spine.

“Welcome to the Vanishing Point,” Rip tells them.

And Leonard feels…

The closest thing he can think of is the start of a panic attack. The breathless feeling of something-not-right-something-horribly-wrong, the way his heart starts racing, the chill that overtakes him. He drags in a deep breath, trying to regain control. None of the others seem to notice…well, except for Mick, who’s watching him with narrowed eyes.

“I can't believe we made it,” Stein is saying.

Sara hums in agreement, then pauses. There’s a slight hitch in the ship’s motion, and Leonard feels it too, but he’s focusing too much on regulating his breathing to say anything.

“Did you just lose control of the ship?” she asks.

“Yeah, that might have something to do with us being the most wanted time criminals in all of history.” Rip hops up from the captain’s chair, smiling as if he hadn’t just said something rather alarming.

As he does so, a man’s face appears on their viewscreen, stern and unfamiliar.

“Timeship Waverider, we've taken control of your guidance systems,” he announces. “Disable your weapons and prepare to be boarded.”

Rip chuckles. “Oh, it's good to be home.”

The other Time Master pauses. “Captain Hunter,” he says. “This is…unexpected.”

“Well, I have a reputation to maintain, don't I?” Rip smiles at him. “And I hereby request an immediate assembly of the Time Council in accordance with General Order 52.”

“So you've returned to answer for your crimes?”

“No. I'm here to justify them.”

They’re at the Vanishing Point now. There’s only so much they can do, even if Leonard’s right and this is all going to go downhill fast.

Sara makes sure she has an array of knives tucked around her person—but then, she always does. She doesn’t miss that Leonard immediately goes to the armory to find his cold gun, double-checking it before holstering it securely at his side.

But then they both return to their room. If everything does all to hell, they want to be together.

The others had disappeared to their own various pursuits when Rip had left the ship. Sara sighs as she looks around the room, trying to figure out if there’s anything more they can do. She hates waiting.

Leonard, who’s still edgy in a way that’s clearly nerves, scoops their deck of cards up from the desk and waves it at her. And it seems like there would be worse things.

It’s not a good game, though. He’s jumpy and unhappy, and he keeps flexing the fingers of his right hand like he can’t believe they’re there. For her part, Sara keeps seeing, in her mind’s eye, what Leonard had looked like when she’d entered the brig only…what, a few hours ago? They’re both distracted, and they’re not playing well, and…

Leonard’s head jerks up again, the third time in maybe a minute.

“Did you hear that?” he asks, eyes darting around.

She hadn’t, actually. “Don't try to distract me.”

Another moment passes. Leonard suddenly gets to his feet, crossing to the door, listening intently. “We need to find somewhere to hide.”

Sara sits down her cards and cautiously joins him. “Could we fight our way out?” she asks carefully. She can’t hear whatever he seems to be hearing. Which is odd, actually.

But Leonard shakes his head emphatically. “No,” he says, then reaches out to take her hand. “C’mon.”

Sara lets him take it but raises her voice. “Gideon, warn the others!”

Only silence greets her words.

[thethespacecoyote]

Did the prompt for day 5 of the omegaverse challenge! “Protective instincts” with some semi-badass Rhys!

Rhys is very tired.

Being Jack’s PA can hardly be called a thankless job—the pay is better than anything he could’ve hoped for back when he was first interning, not even when he and Vaughn had high hopes not yet crushed by middle-of-the-pack drudgery—and honestly as much as common sense tells not to date one’s boss, Rhys feels it makes things easier. There’s no fear of airlock or random strangling or anything like that that hangs above the necks of everyone else who works at Helios. At this point, Rhys is a part of Jack—his right hand man, at this point crucial to his success and function as Hyperion’s apex alpha—and as cruel as Jack can be Rhys has a hopeful feeling he won’t harm someone he considers so intimately his.

But that doesn’t mean he can’t be an obtuse, self-centered asshole who fucks Rhys over on accident.  

Jack had “forgot” to tell Rhys they needed to put together a presentation for the surveyors they’d contracted to scour the woodlands of Meliae. Jack was working on a hunch, a rumor from settlers on the planet regarding the sap from the native trees. Apparently it’d provide excellent lube for Hyperion’s —and some other things, Jack had said with an eyebrow waggle—so all right, Rhys had spent all of last night doing research and slapping together a decently pretty presentation over a latte who’s foam had long collapsed in on himself. When he’d texted Jack thinly veiled annoyance, he’d only gotten a laugh and a barely comprehensible “inspiring” message that told him Jack was probably drinking.

Thankfully, the CEO had shown up to the late morning meeting with no sign of a hangover, unlike Rhys—who’d subsisted on a couple hours sleep and the dregs of his cold coffee and still managed to pull himself together under a crisp shirt and straight tie. Rhys didn’t know what he would’ve done if Jack hadn’t arrived.

“Wow, you look like crap.” Unfortunately Jack’s flippant remark and quick up-down of Rhys’ haggard state doesn’t exactly improve the omega’s mood.

“At least you’re being honest now….seriously, just say that, rather than the half-assed ‘motivation’ from last night.”

“Did I text you? Haha, whoops,” Jack brushes his hand over his head to emphasize. “Didn’t even remember. Last night got a little….fuzzy.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Rhys rubs the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off a building headache. Someday Cybernetics would figure out how to install something to inject pain meds directly into the brain.

The meeting hasn’t begun yet, but the representatives from the survey company are already milling about the door of the room, taking coffee and pastries from the table set up. A series of oohs and ahhs spring up as soon as Jack shows up with Rhys tailing behind him. No one talks to him, and for once he’s thankful of his fairly invisible position as Jack’s assistant. They’ll all have to listen to him present in a couple minutes anyway.

Rhys has the whole thing downloaded into his brain and honestly just wishes he could plug himself into the podium and have the whole thing present itself, but research says audiences respond better to a live human voice—though from the looks of it, these representatives won’t need too much convincing. Rhys folds his arms, watching the other men and women take turns lavishing Jack with all kinds of platitudes. He wonders if the presentation is even necessary, but they’re all gathered with catered breakfast anyway, so they might as well follow through with it.

Rhys’ stomach is gurgling, upset with only cold coffee to sustain it. He fists his hand into his shirt, trying to quell his twitching middle.

He considers grabbing a croissant or something from the table set up for the meeting, when he notices another one of the other company’s entourage approach Jack. Rhys’ nostrils flare, picking up on the softer scent characteristic of an omega. This isn’t unusual—smaller companies often bring along a conciliatory omega or two whenever they meet with Jack, to soften the alpha’s mood and maybe even swing the decision in their favor. Rhys doesn’t fully understand it this time, however, considering Hyperion is soliciting them for their services—so maybe this is just an overeager fan like the others?

That raises his hackles.

Rhys pauses and puts the croissant back down on the serving platter, redirecting back towards his boyfriend just in time to hear a snippet of their conversation.

“—would be an absolute pleasure to work with you, sir, really hope we can reach an understanding here—“

Boy. Rhys does not like that flirty tone in the omega’s voice. He stalks right up to the pair of them, hoping to catch a disapproving or disinterested look on Jack’s face, but to his horror he finds that his alpha has an easy smile that doesn’t go away even when Rhys moves next to him, his own expression tight. Jack nods in recognition but says little more as the omega continues. Rhys’ fingers clutch tighter against the fabric covering his stomach.

He feels he can hold his frayed nerves and frazzled instincts together, but then the omega reaches out and touches Jack’s face.

Rhys likes to think of himself as a fairly well-put together omega. Even though he’s dating the top alpha on the station, he doesn’t give into baser instincts—at least outside of the bedroom.

But seeing this omega touch Jack—with such obvious intentions and right in front of him, when it’s well known that he and Rhys are dating, just makes him snap.

He doesn’t realize what he’s doing until his teeth are buried into the omega’s hand, so he has no means to stop himself.

Rhys’ fangs aren’t particularly large, but they are sharp, and though he doesn’t usually bite people, especially not during work-hours, he’s almost surprised at how easily he pierces the flesh of the omega’s hand. The tips of his fangs dig in deep, splashing blood inside of his mouth as screams ring in his ears.

Something hard bashes against the side of his head, knocking his brain around and making his eyesight flash in little popping lights, but instead of coaxing him into relaxing his jaws he only bites down harder. His jaw locks into place as his eyes squeezes shut, all anger and frustration crunched out into the offending omega’s hand even as blows and scratches rain on his head—at least until a familiar roar of anger stops them.

Rhys shakes his head, still keeping his teeth clamped on the bleeding hand until he feels warm, steady pressure on both of his shoulders. His eyes remain closed until a soothing, musky scent starts to filter in from around the smell of blood and enemy omega, followed by a steady voice speaking right besides his head.

“C’mon sugar. Easy. Let’s let go now.”

Only after a couple more moments of calming words does Rhys’ finally unlock his jaw and let his fangs slid out of the omega’s hand. It instantly falls out of his mouth but Rhys no longer cares about the man he’s bitten as soon as he opens his eyes and saw Jack’s face.

He looks surprised.

Cries of indignation erupt from behind him as Jack straightens Rhys up by the shoulders. The CEO exchanges a couple heated words that melts into goo in Rhys’ ears as he tries to calm down. An angry slam of the door moments later, thankfully leaves them in silence and isolation, apart from Hyperion security who are so ever-present they may as well not even be there.

Jack lets out a low whistle, tune unreadable. Rhys flinches, feeling his hackles rise as the reality of what he’d just done weighs into him proper.

“Rhys.” Jack tries to start, but the omega shakes his head.

“No, don’t lecture me,” Rhys gasps, his voice tight as if drawn over Jack’s thigh, frayed by his boyfriend’s inconsideration. “You lumped all this crap on me last minute, then you’re over here flirting and I—I just—“

He drops his head, feeling stupid. He’d let his emotions, his instincts get the better of him for one moment. But one moment is all it takes for an omega on Helios, before one gets branded as jealous and shrill and incompetent and—

“You’re mine, you’re mine, I don’t want anyone else to have you, I—“

“Hey, baby, shh, shh shhh shhhh.” Jack’s fingers touch against his cheeks, a little more firmly than Rhys expected. His cheeks squish up slightly at the pressure, making him feel even more self-conscious of his childish outburst. But in all honesty it’s hard to feel too badly when Handsome Jack is paying all his attention to you and looking at you like you’re the most precious thing in the galaxy.

“Sorry…” Rhys mumbles, feeling the swollen tears in his eyes start to reach their breaking point. Jack’s thumbs swipe between his eyes though he’s not quite crying yet.

“Don’t, don’t sweetheart—“ Jack shuffles a little closer, their fronts brushing up against one another. “I should’ve—I didn’t think it was a big deal, but you were really obviously stressed and ready to snap, huh?”

Rhys chuckles dryly. His throat and nose feel filled with gunk.

“Was it that apparent?”

“Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you nearly take someone’s hand off. I mean, I didn’t know you in your youth—maybe theres a bunch of one-handed interns out there I don’t know about.”

“N-No, not many…or at least if there are, they’re not because of me…” Rhys sniffles, inhaling more of his alpha’s comforting aroma as Jack draws him closer. As much as he likes to downplay the whole animal side of his endotype, he can’t deny the calming effect that comes whenever Jack scented him.

“I’ve gotta be honest though.” Jack brushes his finger against Rhys’ lip, coming away with a smear of red on the tip. “Ripping into that other guy’s hand…that was pretty hot.”

“Means we’ll probably have to find another company to do the survey, though…”

“Eh, that’s cool. Honestly, I was thinking of just drumming up some volunteers and doing it in-house anyway.” Jack shrugs. “Some of these kids will do anything for a handshake and a lil’ bonus.”

“I-It’ll probably up costs to do that sort of training…” Rhys mumbles, only for Jack to lean in and press a kiss to his nose.

“Probably. But that’s all later talk, sugar. C’mon. Think my omega deserves a day-off of pampering for his little outburst.”

That sounds just about okay with Rhys.

[jlstreck]

American Punchline Ch 65

A TJ Hammond/Steve Rogers Crossover

You can find the previous chapters here (or on AO3).

Chapter 65

“You ready for this?” Tony glanced at TJ across the limo.

Grinning back at him, TJ shrugged. “As ready as I ever am for these things. The last one went really well … at least I thought it did.”

“It really did. Pep’s been quite pleased with all the interviews so far.” Tony waggled his eyebrows before adding, “This is the last one so we better not blow it.”

“No pressure.” TJ chuckled.

*~*~ American Punchline ~*~*

Glancing at Tony, TJ was relieved that the other man had accompanied him for the interview. Either Tony was an amazing actor or he was genuinely almost as excited about the things the foundation was about to do as TJ and Steve were.

“I have to ask, TJ,” their host started and TJ tried hard not to grimace. “What makes someone that could sit back and enjoy a relatively comfortable life decide to unearth their darkest memories to help others? It seems rather out of character with the TJ Hammond we’ve all seen splashed across the media for years.”

The woman smiled and TJ was surprised to find he didn’t think she was asking to be rude or hurtful.

“There are a few reasons. First, not all that long ago an amazing friend of mine challenged me to think about what I wanted out of my life. Not what others expected me to want or what they wanted from me, but what I actually wanted for myself. As I thought about that I realized that I wanted to be more than what the media told people I was. I was a child of the White House during a part of my life that would have been rough under any circumstances. That existence was made more complicated by being in the closet, preferring to be out of the spotlight, and trying to cope with an incredible level of self-doubt.”

TJ took a deep breath, wondering just how much he really wanted to admit on national television. He could feel Tony’s eyes on him. Glancing up he saw the question there and knew Tony would jump in to redirect the conversation without question at the first indication he didn’t want to continue. That silent support encouraged him to continue knowing he wouldn’t be judged by those that mattered.

“I’m not claiming to be the poster boy for how to handle stressful situations, but with the support of some wonderful friends I’ve realized that all those bad decisions, all the times where I felt like I was completely alone … I survived them all. All the mistakes and pain have taught me a great deal about what it takes to not only survive, but live. I just want to try and help others skip some of the really bad parts.”

Tony reached up to squeeze his shoulder as their host smiled warmly at them.

“From everything I’ve read about the upcoming event and what you’ve both said today, it sounds like you’re on the road to doing just that. For anyone that can’t make it tomorrow but is struggling with addiction or fallout from opening up, by choice or not, about their sexuality what would you tell them?”

“A few things. First, if you need help visit the Stark Foundation site and you’ll find a collection of resources. Second, if you’re struggling to come clean for addiction know that you have to want it for yourself not just because those around you want you to clean up. At the same time, don’t let your sobriety become tied to those around you. This includes both staying clean solely for someone else and letting the behavior of those around you push you to use when you want to stay clean. Trust me. I’ve done both. Neither ends well. For those dealing with either coming out or being pushed out of the closet, know that you deserve love and respect. Don’t let anyone make you feel like less because you don’t fit into the box they expect you to stay inside. Don’t let them marginalize your feelings or try to shove your experiences into the shadows. But also remember that for all the negativity you will encounter, there are so many wonderful people that will accept you with open arms. Seek them out so that love really can win.”

“Well said, TJ.” Tony chimed in before anything else could be added. “I can second what he said. My own experiences may not exactly mirror his, but they’ve been splashed across the tabloids enough that I’m sure you all know I speak from experience. His guidance to seek out those that will accept you with open arms is so important. No matter what challenges you’re facing you have to find the strength to walk away from toxic people and find the ones that will help you pursue the life you want to lead.”

“Clearly in TJ’s case, he found that support system with the Avengers.” She smiled. “I have to say, it’s fantastic to see the same group that protects us from aliens is also trying to help with things that hit much more closely to home for many Americans.”

“Well, we can’t fight aliens all the time.”

*~*~ American Punchline ~*~*

“Aw look, the welcome home committee is waiting for us.” Tony laughed as soon as they made the final turn toward the house.

“Surprised?”

“Not a bit.” Tony shook his head as he brought the car to a stop in front of the stairs where Pepper, Steve, and Natasha were all waiting for them. “Or at least not that those three are waiting for us. Just a bit that the rest of our motley crew isn’t out here with them.”

“I’m sure they aren’t far.” TJ grinned as he started to open his door, only slightly surprised when he felt it moving without his help. “Miss me?” He peered up into Steve’s blue eyes.

“A bit.” Steve pulled him into his arms. “Glad our little press tour is over. How’d everything go?”

“It was fine.” TJ shrugged as they turned toward Natasha.

“Just fine?” The spy didn’t look overly impressed. “Do I need to take care of anything before it airs?”

“No,” TJ stepped forward to give her a hug. “I’m sure there are people that will read into some of what I said and won’t appreciate it, but that’s their problem.” He had no doubt that some of his family would be affronted by his reference to avoiding toxic people.

“Well, you just let me know if I need to assist in reminding them of that.” Nat squeezed him tight.

“I will, but hopefully there won’t be a need. After all, they still don’t know where this place is and it’ll be hard for any of them to surprise me at the event given the level of security we have lined up.”

“True, but you know if they get any ideas there’s likely to be a hawk lingering in the rafters. Doesn’t take much for him to get a good shot off.”

The three laughed as they joined Pepper and Tony heading toward the house even though TJ wasn’t entirely sure she was kidding.

As soon as they stepped inside, they heard the others in the kitchen.

“Come and get it!” Bruce’s voice carried into the foyer and they headed to find him. “I make no claims to compete with the fair the two of you keep cooking up in here, but I did manage to through together some spaghetti for lunch. Thought you might be ready for some food when you got home.”

“If it tastes half as good as it smells I’d say you held your own.” TJ grinned as he sniffed the air.

A few moments later the eight were settled around the dining room table chatting about the interview and the final arrangements for the following day. Despite how fast the event was planned, everyone felt confident that the day would make a positive impact on its participants.

*~*~ American Punchline ~*~* 

Hopefully my sudden reappearance doesn’t send anyone into shock. Sorry I’ve been MIA for so long. I promise I haven’t abandoned my darlings, but it’s been a busy few months. 

@steverogersnotebook @marvel-at-stucky @colorfulcandypainter@buckythetinman@dwindlingdichotomy@captainbuckybarness@readergirl1013 @purplechewbacca@eyeluvmusic21  @penny-yolo@sarahsassafras13 @lilbitmo0re@justfollowtheroad @sebstan-theman@dickpuncher365 @captaincutebutt@unabashedlyfoggybanana  @hopefulfangirlblr@katherinekittentaylor @brb-theres-cookies @sciencebeam

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie

[nieloxychen]

time to ramble abt a weird and super real feeling dream i had that ill now try to make a story and multiple ocs out of

important: takes part across several worlds with one single connecting character. most of the ocs exist in the last, most recent world (that main oc tries his fucking best to stay in bc its actually not a complete dumpster fire)

main oc is tito (he/him, they/them, it/its on occasion)

world 0 - 

doesnt remember much

his origin

died in a car(?) crash somewhere in a desert next to a broken down rv

world 1 -

 wakes up semi corporeal somewhere in a desert next to a broken down rv

something bad (not defined yet) happened and a young woman is hiding in the rv from the sth bad that happened

shes looking fr her sister

tito cant help but help her out and they look for her together since 2 is better than 1

she has been looknig for help for a while

no one has been willing to since she thinks her sister is in the middle of the bad thing

(also the big city. lots of gross stuff everywhere, lots of ppl trying to murder)

no one wants to go there

they go together and nearly die a lot

both get infected w a strange illness

shes geting better, hes slowly dying

they find the sister (why she was there idk yet) and tito basicly sacrifices themself so the sisters can escape the bad thing

badly wounded he crawls away into an alley and breaks down next to some trash cans

(just remembered that somewhere in this world there was like a hill made of grey bodies all weaved together and like tunnels in there and the arms were moving and shit what)

colour here were mostly grey and brown

world 2 -

wakes up in an alley next to some trash

hears music, its a festival!! 

he goes to check it out, its a sports thing w like speed and stuff! 

seems like a nice place right? wrong. 

that sport is forced, loser gets sacrificed to big weird monster thing

 kind of a hunger games situation happens, he offers himself up so a parent isnt seperated from a child (just cant not help, its a bad decision and they get that but they just *clenches fist* hero comlpex a bit)

obviously looses, he doesnt fucking know the sport, what did he expect? 

BUT the infection from world 1 did sth to him? (superpowers kinda, has no clue what anything is or does) 

hes still affected by it somehow and is able to escape the ppl leading him to the monster thing to eat

finds out they picked a rando instead and feels bad

tries to save the rando

figures out monster thing is basicly a big fungus that uses ppl to carry spores 

-> the infection he carries infects a spore carries and they die immediatly

quick plan: infect fungus w a disease it is completly unkonw to

doesnt work, spore carriers actually are connected to fungus, its building anti-bodies

he dies in the sewers trying to escape the ppl feeding the fungus.

world 3 - 

wakes up in the sewers

THERS WERE-PPL!! dont change into any specific animal, but tend to have a favourite

theyre kinda nice, help them out, give them food 

they accidentally get infected through shenanigans (it was very non-specific in the dream yo)

tries to figure out both infection based power systems here, quicker to get the were-thing since ppl aroung them actually know what that is. everything else is just weird to everyone

also - possibility of first infection evolving through each world change? didnt notice powers in world 1, only some in world 2, more here?

BUT also very little time to try and figure shit out till now

very chill for a while, hopes they can settle down and maybe not die maybe

SURPRISE children are getting kidnapped!!

by who?? to where? why??? no fucking clue!!

so tito goes to help bc thats just what theydo by now fuck

gets captured, basicly forced to do what kidnappers want w threat of children getting killed (im just gonna say they were able to do them damage for a while before the kidnappers figured out who he is/ a weakness. there was no reason anywhere)

they find a hole in the command chain, go out in a blaze of glory, all the kidnappers are gone (as far as they know)

theyre also very dead and bleed out in the middle of a field

world 4 - 

HOLY SHIT WHAT IS HAPPENING

flying vampires, flesh-goo ppl (idk, the pic i remember was a lady changing into a black-greyish flesh-goo to climb up 90° walls in a seond), theres slenderman maybe????? all kinda sorta want to kill tito for the reason of...

well there has to be a reason he keeps waking up in different worlds right?

but hes not super good at thinking and they dont stop to explain it so??

arent just trying to kill him though, theres also some old man theyre going after

helps the old man, is the grandchild (adopted) of some immortal lady

she is very thankful and gives him the gift of 3 very specific magic powers of his choosing (theyre like marbles and he has to pick 3)

1. Open any door anywhere (doesnt need to be connected) and just wish to go to a place (the more specific the better)

2. Change anything he wants to into a small marble though sheer will power. has to concentrate to keep the shape

3. basicly featherfall but more controlled. actually, more like steven universe floating powers

by now the first infection is basicly a magic system of its own but its all very instinct based. poor tito has no fucning clue

the colour here were very bright, lots of flowers and sunshine and stuff

and just a fucking slenderman flying behing dream-me, blasting through houses and trees and shit?

dies after being chased by flying slender-vampire and goo lady (wasnt fighting back bc they were proctecting sth? idk what though) in like an abandoned farmhouse

world 5 -

wakes up in farmhouse, theres a person!

ocs here we go

person is helke. shes nice but kind of scary sometimes. its mostly a joke for her though

she helps him get used to the world

his powers are by now vry fucking op. but there are SO many powers here too and she fills him in

silver minds: can sense things like weapons if theyre being carried w the intent to harm them or someone they want to look out for. can redirect them against their users, or just stop them alltogether. somewhat staticy voice when stressed, very cold to the touch. born this way

schalks: completly immune to mind intrusion based powers. somewhat of a pack mentality. cannot be located if they dont want to be, very selective in what contact they want. group together for social contact, and also: need contact to eachother bc they need to share excess energy between eachother or they kinda implode. infection based, 2 schalks can have schalk bbys but not often

werewolves: ya only wolves. helke is one! grow up in packs, but adults tend to seperate from larger packs to form their own. can change whenever, super strong always, also fast when changed. just really like raw meat yk? born this way, packs can be made up from basicly anything

more im gonna add, but these i remember. not including the names

basicly helke wants to start a pack and invites him to stay since she doesnt like being alone and wants to help, and ofc he wants to help her

they meet another young werewolf (i think. big fighty and a beard. might be sth else at some point) and he joins them. this is nikola

they meet a young girl, whos a silver mind and kinda running away from home bc bad home life. her names rita.

they invite her to join the pack, which she does and pack rules are kinda big so after proving themselves as reasonably good guardians for her shes officially adopted

she runs into a lonely (very lonely, kinda dying) schalk who lost contact to their group and the pack help them find their group.

their name is an

the group becomes kinda part of the pack, but the rest of the schalk group isnt a fan of big groups of ppl, so the 4 schalks and the 4-pack live in different locations

now /someone/ notices tito like how goop-slener-vamp did in world 4 and tries to capture tito (who was hanging out w rita while that happened.

thank fuck for marble magic, so rita is safe, tito can flee to the schalks (take us somewhere safe)

an turns tito into a schalk, so he wont be found anymore so now he has to kind of move between the 2 camps a lot

on their way to and fro they meet another kid called jacko (also running away, wont say why). is taken into the pack after more safety precautions

hes just a lil human, no magic nothing 

thats the story ig

tito - (he/they/it), roughly 25 (time is weird) not good at thinking, wants to be nice, wants to help, very op, kinda whimsical, very sweet person. DOES NOT WANT TO DIE AGAIN it sucks just want to be happy and make others happ, protective big sibling, everyone is their baby sib

helke - (she/her), 27 wants to help and have a big family/pack, big jokester, tries to be scary, only strangers will believe that, great at handywork and making every sort of meat food. also hunting. lumberjack vibe, chills w nikola, sports w tito, gmaes w kids

nikola - (he/him), 24 chill weed vibe. big fan of cleaning, lock your door if you dont want him to do your laundry. big into birdwatching. somehow in a pack w very intense or op folk which he finds a bit intimidating. doesnt realise hes also big intimidating. has gotten into 3 fights in his life but they were SCARY af, safe zone for tito, fun zone w tito

rita - (she/her), 15 good girl, can be kinda scary, very competetive, VERY COMPETATIVE, will draw hearts on your cast and help you and stuff, after having broken your arm, close w helke and tito

jacko - (he/him), 11 good boy, v shy, v opinionated. would have a blog if older. tried to make one but fled after 1 bad interaction. had to talk abt that a lot to understand it. arts n crafts boy, also climbing, looks up to nikola a lot

an - (they/them), 26 very quiet, thinks theyre right p much always, wants the best for everyone, but not super great at respecting ppls wishes. needs sense knocked into them every now and then. tries very hard. fails. plyam w leena and karim, not good w nikola

leena (she/them), 25, big into animals, big into food, big into random interest of the week. looses interest quickly though

karim (he/him), 26, big art, the one braincell between all the schalks (including tito bc omg BOY), draws creepy things on trees to fuck w ppl, prankster fuck

essek (he/they) 24, fashion and food, loudest of the schalks, goes into the city to get neccessities and general stuff, kinda crushing on tito, sib of karim

in general, the pack is very close. even an and nikola, but theyre kinda cold since an turned tito (tito is ok w it, nikola is big mad an didnt give tito an option, big fight 3, very fucking scary). but they do love eachother a lot, what ive noted were just the stand outs.

same w the schalks, theyre very close but i havent had any of these long enough to get a super good feel on the relationships between eeryone

but i love them already

[cynthiadshaw]

What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey?

Every twist in our story, challenge we face, and obstacle we overcome is an important part of our story.  These difficulties make us stronger and wiser and prepare us for what’s ahead.  As we grow and succeed we may imagine that soon the challenges will fade away, but in our conversations with business owners, artists, creatives, academics, and others we have learned that the most common experience is that challenges never go away – instead they get more complex as we grow and succeed.  Our ability to to thrive therefore depends heavily on our ability to learn from our experiences and so we are asking some of the city’s best and brightest: What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?

Liz | Account Specialist and Stylist

The most important thing I have learnt in my journey so far is to “never let anything stop you from been happy, it is the best fuel you can give to your mind and body. Always stay strong & positive. You got this!”

@Liz__vintage

Caroline Brito | Exchange student from Brazil & Musician

We are never alone. God is always on our side and he sends other people to help us just as he sends us to help others people too.

@carolinebbrazil

  Hugo Gonzalez | medication aide

The most important lesson I’ve learned on my journey so far is to have goals set out for yourself and not to be “”stuck”” in just one spot in life. I say that because one should always want to grow as a person and want to be better than what they were the day before. What I would tell others is don’t give up .. anything is possible. All you need is God, patience, and determination to reach your goals. A little motivation goes a long way.

@_hugogonz

Danielle Bateman | Color Specialist @ Avalon Salon

The most important lesson I have learned so far as a hair stylist is it’s not just hair or a job. The clients that sit in your chair don’t just come to get highlights or a blowdry. They come because they care about how you make them feel; it’s about helping someone see potential and the beauty in themselves. It’s not about coming to work, making the money and going home. It’s about the sad face and the hug they give you when they walk in the door after a hard day and seeing them walk out with a smile on their face. There’s no feeling like knowing you brightened up someone’s day by making them feel good about themselves.

@danidoeshair_

Meredith Bramblett | Health and Fitness Coach

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey is to not allow my fears or doubts dictate my actions. I spent a long time questioning my ability to be a fitness coach, but when I decided to step out in faith and trust the Lord despite my feelings, I have been able to walk in freedom to help people live healthier and more fulfilling lives!

@meredith_bramblett

Will Bramblett | Financial Advisor

The most important lesson I have learned in building my wealth management practice would have to be overcoming the fear of failure and rejection. Leaving a salaried position with benefits to building a business where nothing is guaranteed can be intimidating since only about 5% of financial practices make it to the 5 year mark. And the fact I was starting at 23 years old probably didn’t help my odds either. I decided early on that failure would not be an option. I decided then that I would not only build one of the most successful practices in the United States, but I would do it before I am 30.

When I started, I put a list of 500 names and numbers of everyone I had every met in my life and called every single one asking for the opportunity to work with them as their family advisor. Many of them said no, but that didn’t faze me and I pressed on. Even if they didn’t want to do business together, who did they know that might? I would take meetings 7 days a week from 6:00am-9:00pm, whatever it took to get my practice off the ground. When I finally lifted my head up after a year, I had over 150 clients across 16 different states, was awarded Rookie Advisor of the Year, asked to be a keynote speaker at Northwestern’s Annual Planning Day speaking over mindset and vision, and was in the process of hiring my first assistant.

Many people let the fear of failure and rejection hinder them from accomplishing great things and that is a shame. Only through failure and rejection can you find success, they are just stepping stones along the way.

@WillBramblettNM williambramblett.nm.com

Gabby Juarez | Self Taught Makeup Artist

I’ve been doing makeup for about 2 years now, which is crazy because it feels like no time has passed. But, one of the really important things I’ve learned on my journey so far is to always do things that make me happy. It’s so easy to see the makeup trends and re-create a specific look or stick to one specific style. But, I’ve found that it’s more gratifying to just sit down and not have a plan in mind. True art is not something that’s been done and re-created it’s something that you’re proud of, that you’ve created, and that’s totally original.

@grabby_patty YouTube: Grabby Patty Network

Bianca Brown | Dfw hair colorist

Spencer Brown

Being in the industry over 8 years, I think the most important lesson I’ve learned so far would be that you can never learn enough or try too many times. The hair industry is ever changing, theres ALWAYS something new to learn and something new to try. I try to keep an open mind when observing new technique and how I can incorporate it with fundamentals so I can give my clients everything they deserve! I love learning and I’m very fortunate that I pursued a career that allows me to fulfill my need to be creative while being challenged all at the same time. I will definitely admit, it wasn’t easy starting out, but you just have to keep at it and one day it just clicks!

@hair_by_bianca_slp @HairByBiancaAtSalonLapage

Jasmin Little (Sunnie) | Nail Technician

Believe in yourself, and always be confident, Never look at someone else’s success and feel less about yours, You can’t build your castle looking at someone else’s empire.

@Sunnie_Nails 469-615-6564

Maria Alquicira | Manager  | Painter

“Often, we hear people encouraging us to “go out of our comfort zone”, but we barely pause to realize that it’s not something spontaneous, it’s a process, an intrinsic part of life just as adaptation and survival.

An actor who then decided to become a scriptwriter, was dismissed by Robert Greene with the phrase ¨Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None”. This unknown guy named William was judged for not sticking to one thing to master it. Who would know that a couple of playwrights after, Shakespeare would become such an influence.

This phrase has resonated in me and is the best summary of my greatest lesson in the last couple of years.

Studying different majors, collaborating in different projects, working on different fields, moving to different towns are processes that can make us feel lost but at the same time is an opportunity to question if that frustration is nurtured by society’s paradigms that people will do better by focusing solely in one thing. Specially in an environment called life which is the less predictable scenario.

Change means movement and movement means we are being brave enough to establish our objectives and humble enough to redirect our paths to achieve them. It means we are learning from the challenges we face while implementing our previous knowledge that is leading us to what I believe is the human’s ultimate goal; improvement.

I´ve learnt to be brave enough to set high goals and humble enough to redirect my path to achieve them. I´ve learnt that there is no failure on trying but on being static. I´ve learnt to go out there and make mistakes, go back to my starting point if needed, make a pause, analyze, plan again and move forward.”

mtalch16.wixsite.com/alquicirafineart Social Media: @alquicirafineart

KaDeshia Anderson | Boutique Owner of Pretty and Poised & Show Producer

The most important thing that I have learned in my journey this far is God’s timing! Everything you go through small or big is a testimony, don’t let the no’s or the uninterested interfer with your vision. Keep going keep pushing it will all be worth it in the end!

beprettyandpoised_

Charlotte Hardie Photography | Portrait photographer

The most important lesson I have come to appreciate is to enjoy every moment in my life. and how I did this was through learning what the world has to offer. I started of working in travel and it inspired me to capture what I was seeing through my travels, people, culture, History and breathtaking scenery. I wanted to keep making memories for myself and wanted to keep enjoying them through my photos.

During one of my travels I met my husband and moved to the USA, we now have 3 beautiful children. I take portrait photography now and I love taking portraits as I also want to capture those precious memories for my family and clients.

I do not take anything for granted and I keep appreciating what I have in my life.

@pages/category/Photographer/Charlotte-Hardie-Photography @charlotte.hardiephotography

Sasha McClanahan | Owner of DEMI NATURALS

The biggest lesson that I’ve learned is to not compare my business with others. I focus on perfecting my own craft, goal setting, and improving my business everyday. As long as you are progressing, you are working towards meeting a goal.

deminaturals.com etsy.com/shop/deminaturals @deminaturals @deminaturals

Jasmine Anwer | Architecture & Commercial Photographer

Shot by Jasmine Anwer Styled by Lisa Kasberg

While it’s hard to point to one example that shows it, the most important lesson that I have learned along the way is to treat every job like it’s the most important. I spent my free time creating a portfolio and building my confidence in order to cater to my clients needs. However, by treating each job and each client like they were the most important gig I had worked on, I was able to build relationships and expand my portfolio. Because of that, some of those clients and photos became instrumental in shaping the future of my career.

jasmineanwerphotography.net @jasmineaphoto

Eric J | Singer | Songwriter | Musician, & Producer

The most important lesson that I have learned is that you have to know your own worth. We were made to be ourselves. No one else can show you how to make yourself happy. So go out & live. Surround yourself with people that challenge you & make life memorable. Dream big, Work harder!!!! That’s my slogan & I hope to continue making my dreams a reality all!!!

linktr.ee/ericjmusic

Leigh Breunig | Jewelry Designer

This journey has taught me infinitely more about who I am created to be. I am a dreamer, feeler, creator and having a forum to express myself has led to a brighter version of myself — one I have more confidence in, more understanding of, more grace for. I am thankful for the space to grow.

@leighbreunigdesigns

Nykol Harris | Actress | Model and Dancer

@zarah1110

The most important lesson I learned on my journey is to trust the process and be patient because as long as you believe in yourself and never give up the universe has no choice but to give what you have been putting out and working for.

@NykolHarris

Lindsay Burkhart | Social Content Creator

I have learned that staying patient is one of the keys to great success, and to always remember to be yourself because the payoff is always so much greater. In my position it can be difficult to stay in your lane and trust yourself with your ideas. Every time I do end up going with my plan of action it honestly has always either ended up with great results or I learned something from it and became better. I truly believe that life is all about improving yourself to become a better person, a harder worker, a better friend, etc. Identifying your goals and working hard to achieve them, but not losing yourself in the process is always a tough lesson to pass but it’s not impossible. I like to look back every so often at the work I have accomplished in my job or in my personal creatives and see the growth that has happened, the lessons I did learn from trying something new, but most importantly knowing that I never once changed myself in order to get there.

@lindsay.burkhart

Lacy Studdard | Salon Owner and Hairstylist

The most important lesson to learn for me being a stylist and salon owner is that you have to create boundaries. I’ve been doing this for almost 15 years, and being self employed, you have to hustle at first if you want to make it. Success can sometimes come at the expense of time with family and friends that you can’t get back. You’ve got to switch gears at some point. For me, that looks like working less late nights and weekends so I can spend time with my family. I still accommodate those clients I love and have built relationships, I love my job!

thebungalowsalon.com @lacystuddard_hair

SARAH BRIGGS | Entrepeneur | Jewelry Designer

I’ve learned countless lessons in my journey and one prevails no matter how much I pursue others. I had a mentor who passed away. I was talking to her in my mind one day, wondering what my next step in trying to scale should be. It was as if she spoke to me and her answer was clear as day, “it doesn’t matter darling, just enjoy your life”. Let go right now of what you think success is supposed to be. Decide for yourself and don’t forget to add in family, balance + giving to that equation.

@sarahbriggsjewelry  sarahbriggs.com

D.H. Jonathan | Author and Art Model

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to not just sit back and wait for something to happen. Take control of what you want. Go after the big job, write and publish that novel, take that trip you’ve always wanted to take.

dhjonathan.com

John Wannamaker | Co-Founder & Chef at WannaEat Seafood

We all eat in order to live and food is an universal connector of people. I’ve learned we must continually find a new way to reach the people we want to feed. Starting out, we made many mistakes and found every platform doesn’t need your money or attention. Good food and good service will make a way for you.

WannaEat Seafood is a fusion of Caribbean and Southern cooking. We are catering leading up to the opening of our quick serve brick and mortar location.

wannaeatseafood.com

Jacilyn Tucker | Wedding Planner

The most important lesson I’ve learned so far as a wedding planner is that building and maintaining vendor relationships are key! They are a must! Of course it’s good to have your preferred vendor’s list together, but to know more than your “dream team” is crucial. I enjoy having a variety of vendors to priovide my clients with, depending on their budget and style preference. How I build these relationships are attending networking events, making a presence on social media marketing groups and coordinating styled shoots! When planning styled shoots, I often reach out to vendors that I look up to, that I’ve yet to work with, to jump start our relationship. From there I try to refer business to one another to maintain that rapport. In this industry, referrals really go a long way, and while I get some from friends, family and past clients – majority of them come from those friend-ors!

@NothingButLoveWeddingAndEvents @NothingButLoveWeddingsAndEvents

Zach Woodie | World Wanderer & Techie

@jamesdeangonzales

The most important lesson I have learned is to never stop exploring. There is always something new to see out there.

@zwoodie @zwoodie

Truitt Rogers | Photographer | Owner of Truitt Photographics

So much has changed in the field of photography since I started in 1976 (that’s really weird to realize because I don’t often think of how long I’ve been a photographer I just enjoy it so much) so much has changed. I’ve had to adapt to the new digital way of doing things. Most of which I’m really grateful for. I love not having to mess with chemicals in the darkroom, the better image quality and the total control I have over every detail of the my images. I’ve had to embrace the changes and adapt to a whole new way of creating and I’ve had new ways of creating images opened to me that I never dreamed of. So the lesson learned is embrace changes because they are going to come and seize the opportunities they offer.

truittphoto.com @truittphotographics

Conni Redding | Management consulting recruiter & soon to be full-time Minnesotan

Conni Redding

The most important lesson I’ve learned in my journey so far is to find your niche. I combined my love for food and hip hop / rap music (all of my captions come from music lyrics), and I turned it into an instagram that offers unique content.

@forkwithme_

Kacee Anderson | Portrait and Lifestyle Photographer

Photography has taught me how to read people quickly and win them over. Sometimes kids (or even adults) come into pictures tired, nervous, or stressed out. I’ve learned the art of diffusing those situations. I want families to walk away with photos that stay true to who they are while bringing out their absolute best.

Seniors and couples often come to me with little experience in front of the camera aside from a quick smile. I find these groups can be especially nervous. Putting people at ease is important so I can get them the fun, silly, romantic, or timeless photos they’re looking for. It starts with helping them select a location and style that will best represent them. But even if meet a dozen different clients at the same location, every single one of them will have a unique experience. My job is to learn who you are and capture that through lens.

KaceeAndersonPhotography.com @KaceeAndersonPhotography @KaceeAndersonPhotography

David Kozlowski | Freelance Photographer

The biggest lesson that I have learned, came early in my career. Shoot for myself and don’t base my photography on online comments about the images. I rarely shoot from a shot list and most of my sales come from requests for use of existing photos.

@texas.photographer

The post What’s the Most Important Lesson You’ve Learned Along Your Journey? appeared first on Voyage Dallas Magazine | Dallas City Guide.

source http://voyagedallas.com/2020/02/24/whats-important-lesson-youve-learned-along-journey/

[thebrightestringaroundthemoon]

anyway time to use this blog for what i created it for i guess and type out a big long thing about how im a worthless piece of shit and should pour myself a nice big glass of creamer, sugar, and clorox. i literally serve like? no purpose? in life? at all? im a completely directionless failure that operates with about the complexity of a fucking roomba, running into the same goddamn couch over and over again and slightly redirecting. if i get lucky, i run into a different couch, but nothing fucking changes. i do the exact same thing over and over again: surround myself with wonderful, fantastic people, fuck it up and make them hate me, and then spiral into a pit of my own pointless fucking despair until i realize im such a fucking failure of a person i cant even muster the energy it takes to fucking die so i just get up again in the morning and go again. rinse and fucking repeat. and its not like i have some horrible life or anything, im just profoundly unfit to exist on this planet. i have wonderful friends who actually, honest to god care about me and its evidently not good enough for me?? so i just respond to everything by assuming the worst, spiralling, and being too much of a dumb bitch to fucking talk to A N Y B O D Y about A N Y T H I N G cuz i guess i’d rather make a dumb edgy tumblr blog named after the lyrics to a fucking asia song than actually solve any of my problems. i guess its too much to solve a problem when the fundamental core of who you are as a person is the fucking problem. i mean, there is a solution, but ive already covered why nobody needs to be worried about me doing that! bnobody needs to be worried about me doing anytuhing! accomplishing anything! ever becoming anything! ever managing to do much more than drag myself out of bed in the morning and inspire a profoundly sad mixture of pity and annoyance in everyone iv’e ever come into fucking contact with! im sitting here debating fixing the fucking apostrophe in the last sentence and its driving me fucking mad while real people have real fucking problems and my cardboard cutout ass bad edgy teen novel stupid bitch excuse for a person ass is sitting here doing THIS with my fucking time. I have things i shuold be doing, could be doing, but this is legitimately all i can bring myself to fucking contribute to society at this point. the surest sign that the people around me are fucking saints is that theyve stuck around this fucking long but honestly i dont fucking undeerstand. i guess thats the whole point of shit like saints, you arent supposed to be able to understand, its superhuman compassion, even for those who dont fucking deserve it. or maybe its just because i fundamentally dont work. i dont have any sort of actual power when it comes to my life. these are the idle musings of a bewildered spectator, the one person who comes to the party, stays sober, and sits on the sidelines and watches the fucking idiocy unfold. except instead of drunkenly stumbling around and telling my friends how much i love them, im stone cold sober and sitting on the sidelines watching myself fail to take even the most basic fucking steps towards fixing literally any problem that im dealing with. broken. non functional. i dunno if i was born a failure, though. i think that might be giving myself a little too much credit. other people were dealt infinitely worse hands than i was and they turned out fucking wonderful. i know a couple of them. no, i think im the way i am because of me. i probably had all the chances i needed to become something resembling a human being, and instead im whatever i am now. how can i be excited about some sort of future for myself when i can barely manage a relatively privliged day to day existance? i have friends, im not starving, im in college, i have an apartment. im far from rich but im able to afford to go to college. that should be enough. why the fuck isnt that enmough. why cant i just be fucking satisfied why cant i muster some sort of positive fucking emotions why does joy last a few moments why can i do this so much easier than writing anything positive about my life why does this flow like it does like a fucking river why cant i stop my hands why why what the fuck why why am i like this why was i born why am i who i am it flows so easily it just comes out but i cant tell anyone and i cant rely on anyone because im not anyone in noone im the fucking nobody that people keep around them to make themselves feel better and the only reason i have the slightest bit of doubt about that is that i love my friends too much to ever accuse them of something like that but then again does it fucking count when its someone like me do i qualify as a fucking person does it count as hurting someone’s feelings or using them when that someone isn’t a someone is just an empty fucking shell that was only gifted with the capacity to retain HURT thats all i can fucking remember thats all that sticks with me HURT i cant fucking be rid of it and its not some sort of innate inherent biological failing its who i am as a person i did this to myself i do this to myself i dont know that i will ever stop doing this to myself. all i can hope for is that one day i gain the strrength the fucking self esteem and self respect to kill myself. maybe it isnt self respect i need for that but respect for my friends. its selfish to put them through me. the pain they’d feel from my death would last a short time if at all. it would be so much better than forcing them to know me for however long this failing fucking body will carry my empty shell of a spirit onwards thjrough a world that i dont deserve to fucking inhabit. my inner monologyue put on paper sounds like a fucking evanescence song and i hate myself for it so much jesus fucking christ. i fundamentally do not like myself. as a person. on any level. i do not like myself. i wouldnt be friends with me, and ironically i hate myself for that too. but who would? who the fuck would? why does anyone? do they? maybe thats my one fucking talent. convincing people im likable. worming my way into their fucking lives until they trust me only to realize that i am not a human being. im an empty shell, a fucking roomba of a person. i can tell when ive run into something and back up so i can run into it again. i cannot solve my own problems. i cannot even conceptualize them. im something below a human cursed with the fucking ability to think at the level of one. my ocd is really really desperately trying to get me to scroll up and fix all the spelling and grammar errors but i dont know if itll hurt more to ignore them or to have to read the dumb ashit i just wrote. earlier i said that i wanted this to flow less easily and here we are i guess. though earlier i meant it in the context of only being able to properly conceptualize negative feelings and never being abkle to hold onto anything piositive i feel, and that hasn’t been magically fixed or anything, im just having trouble feeling anything at all now. im a completely blank slate. i havent even cried once troday. i cant. i cant care about my own fucking inadequacy and failure as a very basic human being enough to even fucking cry. i cried about an anime a couple nuights ago. i can muster emotion for that. but as soon as i look inwards i dont see ahyuthing thEres NOTHING FUICKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE THERE IS NOTHING FUCKING THERE I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING I AM BROKEN I AM EMPTY I AM A {PLAGUE ON WHOEVER HAS THE PURE FUCKING MISFORTUNE TO BE A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO TAKE PITY ON ME i dont want to die, even. too many steps, too much feeling, too much. i just want to stop. to end. i want to no longer be. ill lock tghat away with all the other things id love to happen but know never will. that ones at the forefront though. it always will be. until i grow the fucking compassion to put others out of my misery. my roomate just texted me an innocuous questiona nd i texte d bacjk normally emojis and all im normal dont you see everyone im normal nothings wrong with me. oh sure sometimes i have a bad day but im fine everybody IM FINE you aren’t you have to put up with me ill fucking worm my way into your life and convince you im a real human being you can hold a congersation with only to snatch the fucking rug out from under you as soon as you actually attempt to engage with me on any level and i just end up eiother hurting you or revealing accidently that there is no such thing as luna thats not a fucking person its a name assigned to a loose collections of disorders, bad habits, and a gaping emotional black hoile from which nothing can fucking escape, jammed into an ugly broken body thats going to kill me early and doesnt even compensate by making me hot. wHEE. and of course, unable to be happy with anything, i will simultaneously complain about my own impending death due to horrific nutrition, subastance abuse (just the fun kinds so people dont realize anything is wrong WHEEEE) and some fucky illness that ive now gone and stopped medicating because im a stupid worthless bitch, AND I WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS WHILE SIMULATENOUSLY WANTING TO DIE what do i want? who the fuck knows! not me! that’s a redundant statement, of course “me” doing know bercause thats not a thing im not a person! id love to blame it on my complete and total internal faliure as a person that i always end up hurting people, but honestly its probably because i dont put enough fucking effort in. even right now,. literally hours after a good friend of mine ostaroted feeling like shit in a way that is almost for sure my fucking fault, im doing THIS instead of trying to right the situation (to b fair she made a point of not inviting me but inviting the rest of the group?) or did she am i just reading into this? who knows! who the fuck knows! everyone but “me”! ejveryone else knows! becayuse its probably REALALLY FUCKING SIMPLE BUT NOOOOO I CANT EVEN MANAGE THAT CAN I I CANNNOT EVEN FUCKING MANMAGE TO MANAGE THAT CAN I thats too much for lil ol me! i am aggressively pointless! i am the single least important collection of fucking atoms on this planet! every last fucking rock i stepped on walking to and from the class that i skipped half of today is more important and has contribtued more to the grand scheme of things than i ever have or ever will, and thats jkust the inanimate fucking objects on the ground. lets not even get started on all the actual people whose time my existance waste, who i am a fucking affront to  by sheer virtue of being in any way associated with them at any point in time ever. i guess this is it, this is what i get when my entire personlaity is a loosely cobbled together collection of self deprecating jokes and a fake ego, desperately attempting to patch over an interior that has holes in it less than it just is one giant fucking hole. i was, am, and will be nothing, not even enough to earn the use of “I” at the beginning of the sentence. dinner is in 15 minutes. my friends will be there. im paralyzed. i belive every word i wrote above so why

would i inflict myself upon them but i 

i cant not

i so deeply want to

to go sit in uncharacteristic silence and hope somebnody notices and asks me whats up so i can give them a dumb, abridged, mostly fake version and get the sad pity looks and then feel bad about exploiting them and then

rinse

repeat

because i am not a person

[themoneybuff-blog]

Inspiration from 7 Up, Lauren Oliver, Julien Baker, and More

Once a month (or so), I share a dozen things that have inspired me to greater personal, professional, and financial success in my life. I hope they bring similar success to your life. 1. Thoreau on happiness Happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder. Henry David Thoreau I spent a lot of years of my life chasing happiness, believing that I could somehow build a happy life. What I learned is that such an endeavor is basically impossible. Instead, you should try to build a life thats in line with what your values and principles are, and what youll find is that happiness naturally bubbles up as you get closer and closer to that destination. Happiness is a side effect of doing something worthwhile. When you do worthwhile things, happiness occurs naturally. If you chase happiness for happinesss sake, youll never actually catch it. [embedded content] From the Wikipedia entry on the series: The Up Series is a series of documentary filmsproduced by Granada Television that have followed the lives of fourteen British children since 1964, when they were seven years old. So far the documentary has had eight episodes spanning 49 years (one episode every seven years) and the documentary has been broadcast on both ITV and BBC. In a 2005 Channel 4 programme, the series topped the list of The 50 Greatest Documentaries. The children were selected to represent the range of socio-economic backgrounds in Britain at that time, with the explicit assumption that each childs social class predetermines their future. Every seven years, the director, Michael Apted, films material from those of the fourteen who choose to participate. The last installment, 56 Up, premiered in May 2012; Apted has stated that filming for 63 Up will occur in late 2018, for release in spring 2019. Apted has also been reported as saying: I hope to do 84 Up when Ill be 99. The aim of the series is stated at the beginning of 7 Up as: Why do we bring these children together? Because we want to get a glimpse of England in the year 2000. The shop steward and the executive of the year 2000 are now seven years old. The video embedded above (if you cant see it, you can reach it by clicking on the link) is the full documentary 7 Up, which covers the fourteen children as they were in 1964, as seven year olds. Each subsequent entry in the series revisits most of the children at seven year intervals in their lives, as things go in different directions for them. I watched these for the first time as a marathon in around 2002, when 42 Up was the newest entry available; I watched the entire series again a few years later after 49 Up was released, and yet again with the making of 56 Up. Each time it utterly charmed me and left me thinking about the fragility and difficulty and beauty of human lives. A few days ago, a friend of mine pointed out that all of the films were freely available on Youtube, so theres no reason not to dive in. This Youtube list contains the entire series, starting with 7 Up and continuing through 56 Up, the most recent entry. 3. Lauren Oliver on the whole of people I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people; to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole. Lauren Oliver I feel like this is a good quote to pair with 7 Up, actually. In that series and in fact, throughout our lives we get only relatively small glances at these people. We see only little slivers of their lives. Even with the best efforts of the filmmakers, this would be true; a filmmaker visiting a person for a few days once every seven years cannot capture their true nature. Yet, as I watch those films, I cant help but draw some conclusions. I think I would be friends with some of them, and Id probably avoid other ones. Those quick takes may or may not be accurate. Im making them based on really limited information about a person. I might be seeing that person at their best or at their worst. I might be seeing a quirky moment thats not emblematic of them as a whole. Its impossible to really tell. What I do know is this: some of the worst mistakes Ive made in life have been due to snap judgments about people, almost all of them more negative than they ever should have been. I drew some very negative conclusions about people and guided my behavior regarding them based on very little information mixed in with my own ideas and assumptions, and it has cost me many potential dear relationships over the years. The tiny part of a person that you actually see is a pretty poor representative of the whole. This article by Jason Fagone chronicles the store of Jerry and Marge Selbee, who, in their retirement, discovered and then exploited holes in the Michigan and Massachusetts state lottery systems. I found myself reading this article one evening while Sarah was busy grading papers, and I couldnt help but mention to her that this is literally the kind of thing that I can see us doing in retirement. Were both curious people who like to understand how systems work. We arent afraid to take big leaps of faith on things that we feel certain about. Id like to think that Sarah and I, in our later years, will go on a lot of quirky adventures, like Jerry and Marge. Im also sharing this because its just a fun story, a well written one by Jason Fagone. This ones really worth your time. 5. Benjamin Franklin on apologies Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Benjamin Franklin One of the hardest things to do is to genuinely apologize when youve made a mistake and not turn it into an excuse or an avenue for blaming others. Anything beyond I messed up is simply a way to deflect blame off of yourself and, in the process, make the apology a lot less valuable. An apology that ends up being nothing more than a redirection of blame or an excuse of a mistake is a worthless apology; in fact, youre often leaving things in an even worse state because the other person perceives that you wont own up to your mistakes. When you mess up, apologize sincerely without excusing your mistake or blaming others. Admit that you messed up, state that youre sorry for it, and that you want to do what you can to make it right and to make sure it wont happen again. Make it clear that its on you, not on anyone else. Its hard to do that. Its much easier to just shovel the blame onto someone or something else. If you do that, though, you eliminate virtually all of the meaning of the apology and look pretty weak to boot. [embedded content] From the description: Do you know what you want when you die? Do you know how you want to be remembered? In a candid, heartfelt talk about a subject most of us would rather not discuss, Michelle Knox asks each of us to reflect on our core values around death and share them with our loved ones, so they can make informed decisions without fear of having failed to honor our legacies. Life would be a lot easier to live if we talked about death now, Knox says. We need to discuss these issues when we are fit and healthy so we can take the emotion out of it and then we can learn not just what is important, but why its important. This whole video harkens back to a big theme Ive come to really understand in my life in the last few years. The best time to talk about something is when youre as far away from emotion as possible regarding that thing. So, for example, dont talk about death when youre sick. Talk about it when youre healthy and vibrant, so theres as little emotion as possible in the subject. When youre talking to your parents about aging, dont do it at their moment of weakness. Wait for a time of strength, when theyre feeling as healthy and unemotional as possible, and then have that discussion. Dont talk about a marital problem when youre both riding the wave of that problem. Talk about it when youre getting along well and youre far away from that problematic area emotionally. This is a key life lesson, one that has stuck with me over the years, and this video really highlights that idea. 7. Roy T. Bennett on self-improvement and criticism Let the improvement of yourself keep you so busy that you have no time to criticize others. Roy T. Bennett Unless criticism is asked for, criticism of others is rarely a worthwhile endeavor. It achieves very little and often has the opposite effect of what you desire, with the recipient ignoring the content of what youre saying and just being upset with you. Hold it in. If you dont have something worthwhile to say, then dont say it at all. That doesnt mean that one should never criticize. A person should definitely criticize from time to time, but it should generally be at the invitation of the person who seeks criticism and is looking for ways to improve. Brutal honesty doesnt achieve anything worthwhile. [embedded content] From the description: In March of 2016, just a handful of months after her debut album Sprained Ankle was released, Julien Baker came and played a quiet, thoughtful Tiny Desk concert that went on to become one of our most popular and certainly one of the most-talked-about Tiny Desk Concerts of the year. (Its now approaching two million views on YouTube alone.) Fast forward to the summer of 2017, when I heard that a new record was imminent. I dont usually ask an artist back for a second Tiny Desk Concert simply because they have a new release but for Julien, I had to make an exception. With all the love that surrounded her first visit to the NPR offices, I reached out to ask if she would be willing to do something different this time around. Last fall, she delivered. All the songs for her return to the Tiny Desk come from last years Turn Out The Lights. Just a few weeks before the albums release, she came to Washington; we tuned our piano, she brought violinist Camille Faulkner. The first two songs, Hurt Less and Even, were accompanied by Camille, with Julien on piano for the opening tune and acoustic guitar on the second. Its quite stunning, as she sings: Putting my fist through the plaster in the bathroom of a Motel 6 I must have pictured it all a thousand times I swear to God I think Im gonna die I know you were right I cant be fixed, so help me For the last, Julien put together an arrangement of Appointments that begins on electric guitar, which then was looped as a backdrop to her on piano and voice. Julien Baker is a massively talented songwriter with a deeply caring heart and a perfectionist streak all of which delivered to her a career-making year. We are so thrilled to have her return. Set List Hurt Less Even Appointments Shes just fantastic. Well worth a listen. 9. Inspirational notes For the last several months, about once a week or so, Ill stick a note inside of one of my childrens backpacks. Its a note card in an envelope with their name on the front, and on the inside, I just write a short note saying something I admire about their character and how I hope they share that with the world. It takes me about ten minutes or so to do this. I just stop for a little bit, think of some truly worthwhile characteristic that one of my children possesses, and then Ill write about it. Ill tell a quick anecdote about when I saw that characteristic used in a positive way, how I am incredibly proud that Im their parent when I see them using that aspect of themselves, a gentle encouragement to use that characteristic in other aspects of their life, and a general reminder that I love them. Thats it nothing fancy. I know that my kids have read the notes because of comments Ive overheard, but not one of them has said a word about them to me. I do know that theyre read, though, and I do know that theyre thought about, and thats enough. Will it make a positive difference? Maybe. I think it will, given enough time. Dont just get inspired. Be an inspiration. 10. Muhammad Ali on the pebble in your shoe It isnt the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; its the pebble in your shoe. Muhammad Ali Its often one or two little details that make the difference between success and failure. You might be able to perfectly nail everything else you need for a diet, but its that mid-afternoon wave of hunger that you thoughtlessly indulge that undoes things. You might have perfect control over your spending except for that one little linchpin. Maybes its online spending at a particular website, or maybe its regular splurging on food. Whatever it is, theres often some little detail that puts a big scratch on the beautiful surface of your progress. The thing is, its far more meaningful to stop and pull that pebble out of your shoe than to keep on running for a little bit longer and just quit. Fix the little problems before they become big ones. [embedded content] From the description: When trying to come up with a new idea, we all have times when we get stuck. But according to research by behavioral and learning scientist Marily Oppezzo, getting up and going for a walk might be all it takes to get your creative juices flowing. In this fun, fast talk, she explains how walking could help you get the most out of your next brainstorm. Going on walks is unquestionably my most powerful creative tool. I dont have anything else in my repertoire that really compares to it. Its part of the reason why winters are often very hard in terms of writing productivity the weather rarely cooperates with the kind of long outdoor walk that I enjoy. While I enjoy winter in small doses, I wouldnt be surprised at all to find Sarah and I living further south in the winter months when we are older. I think it agrees much better with both of us. Still, I cant laud walking enough if youre trying to piece through a difficult idea in your head or youre trying to brainstorm some solutions. 12. JFK on strength Do not pray for easy lives, my friends. Pray to be stronger men. John Fitzgerald Kennedy Hoping that the future will become easier wont really help very much. Its very likely that the future wont become easier. Instead, recognize that your life right now probably is easier than it will be in the future and plan accordingly. Work a little harder today so you dont have to work quite as hard tomorrow. Save a little money today so you dont have to scramble tomorrow. Dont hope for an easier life. Work for a stronger you. https://www.thesimpledollar.com/inspiration-from-7-up-lauren-oliver-julien-baker-and-more/