#but if that's old news pls don't feel obligated!!!

[wickedlvst]

starter call. closed for @lemonadecabaret based on (x)

he really shouldn't have gone out tonight. shouldn't have had that fourth glass of whiskey. shouldn't have used the chance of his wife being out of town with their youngest to visit a few colleges to revisit the glorious old days of not having any responsibility, of living his fullest life as an almost rockstar before one ripped condom turned his girlfriend into his wife and dreams into a respectable, admittedly successful, career in banking. but then again, who could have expected one of his daughter's friends to meet him behind a - for his normal taste - far too seedy bar when contacting a drug dealer one of his looser acquaintances recommended when asked where he could buy something a little more fun?

and he most certainly shouldn't have asked her to join him in a motel close by, any ideas of morality and reason seemingly completely thrown out of the window tonight. oh how he wishes he could only blame it on the liquor. he still can't believe star actually said yes.

"you're going to be the death of me", richard mutters, eyes taking in her gorgeous form that's still too heavily dressed for his liking. a bag of pills lies on the bed, for the moment forgotten as her presence is a more potent drug than anything else he's ever taken before. "are you really sure about this?" as hard - impossible - as it'd be for him to pull the brakes right now, he doesn't want to push her to do anything she isn't comfortable with, the age difference all to present in his mind.

[dilf-docs]

You're a Daydream, Stay A While

joel miller x younger!reader

summary: you're jackson's designated bartender. well, your dad is, but after the arrival of a new face in town, maybe the inspiration to finally step up to your obligations kicks in.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., oral (f. receiving), fingering, foreplay (mostly breasts), creampie, breeding kink (kinda), angst/comfort, insecure!joel (love touch etcetc starved), needy!joel, pov switch mostly joel (he's down bad as well), collected shitty puns from across the internet like thanos collected the infinity stones

word count: 6,136 words

side note: yk what's worst than simping for old men? simping for old men who don't exist. since y'all know, tlou II trailer dropped, which got me searching for joel's ***** to brace/prepare myself. umm so, why did no one tell me jackson!joel is the hottest thing ever? can´t wait to see pedro being senior citizen level of hot and dying (again) on his bday month! 😍 anyway, this is based on this request and well, yes! i too would flirt with an old ass if he looked like that™ hope u like it bc for some reason I'm not sure of it JSJDLKDFK also 400 followers GUYS STOP (pls don't) IT'S TOO MUCH (give me more) HELP!=="))??! (that i do need tysm)

The truth is simple: you hate working.

An apocalypse later, you figure there are more important things. But on Jackson, it feels like the world before fungus and violence, and everyone's got a role to play. As the daughter of Tipsy Bison's owner, yours is to help around the bar, something no matter how much your dad scolds you, you don't seem to care enough to even do a decent job.

Of course, it could be worse: patroling, keeping the cattle or crops, but not even then you're moved enough to give a shit about it.

Enter Joel Miller.

He, who made sure his arrival in Jackson didn't go unnoticed, making heads turn at it, not only because of his emotional reunion with Tommy, the little girl with him, or the fact that he left yet still returned. But also (mainly to you) because he was hot. Very hot.

Joel was the type of handsome that was rough in the edges, his closed-off demeanor and overall mystery adding to the thrill. His face seemed to be in a perpetual state of grief and darkness, sprinkled with grey and wrinkles, that in your opinion, didn't mean about age but just something that made his features all the more attractive.

It was a lie to say there weren't any boys your age in Jackson, good-looking too, yet you felt yourself gravitate towards Joel's musky presence. Yes, he could be your dad, but again, it's the apocalypse, and there are plenty of things to worry about than some age gap.

That doesn't stop the talking, anyway. It may be the end of the world, but gossip is just like cockroaches: it never dies.

The Tipsy Bison owner's daughter is in love with Tommy's older, much older, brother.

It didn't bother you, thought. You were pretty open about it, giving Jackson more to talk. Whenever Joel arrived at the bar, all heads would turn in your direction, ready for the shameless flirting and compliments you showered the oldest Miller in.

Maria had warned you, of course. She was the closest you had to a friend―sometimes being like a big sister, and she seemed to know what he was up to before, at the QZ in Boston, thanks to Tommy. Safe to say, you didn't care, despite listening to every word she had said.

Joel could break your heart, yet in a dying world, you weren't afraid to live.

Which is why now, as he enters the bar, you offer your dad to take his place.

"Go rest, I'll take this client" you offer with kindness, but he knows better. You're his daughter: in the end of the day, he's aware Joel is here, your shift in attitude warning him about Miller's incoming presence.

"If you will take this client, take the rest too" and before your dad can throw a speech about everyone being equal in Jackson, you're accepting to do the job properly, despite your grumbling and lack of interest to anyone who isn't Joel.

"Joel" you greet as soon as he sits, one of the many flirty smiles you have for him only adorning your face. He nods, avoiding your eyes that look at him like he could give you the world. He can't, so he keeps focused on the glass you're pouring in front of him.

"See? Didn't even need to ask. I already know" you seem proud of it, and the ghost of a smile brushes his lips.

"Well" he raises the glass, "it's an easy drink"

You feign hurt, "is that how you treat your bartender? I could poison your drink" Joel now truly smiles, knowing you could never, "or I could just strip you of your my favorite customer rights"

Now he feigns hurt, playing along for the first time in ever.

"Copied" he raises his arms in surrender, not before taking a gulp. You watch hypnotized the way his adam's apple bobs, the liquid sliding down his throat until it looses itself in the peak his two buttons undone give, of what looks to be a broad soft upper body, blessed with a patch of greying messy hair.

"Have they ever complimented you before, Joel?"

You. He refrains from answering, scared as to where little encouraging had led you and your shameless mouth to. He can feel the rest of the people behind him whispering, holes burning his neck. He can't let you win again: make him seem a pathetic excuse of a man who can't say no to a sweet doe-eyed delusional girl.

But you don't stop, despite his silence and the growing pit on your stomach.

"I'll take that as a no. Wanna know why?" he takes a much needed sip, "because all the good pick-up lines are taken"

This he can handle, Joel thinks. It's silly, proper of your age-

"But you aren't"

Ah, of course. Hasn't he learned?

You have the nerve to laugh, free as a wind chime softly carresed by the wind. His face burns, and even thought he's heard plenty of worse from you ("No pen, no paper but you still draw my attention", "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?" "You must be a dog person because you look fetching"), nothing had affected him this much.

Which is why he tries to pull the mask that had accompanied him since he first knew what grief was, so no feeling would ever made him weak again in a world hardened with pain. He's so good at it, wearing it like a second skin that doesn't scrub off no matter how much he wastes Jackson's water supply away, he sometimes sees the way your face is crestfallen at his indifference.

But you're young and stubborn, as so was he, before all the suffering and broken dreams.

So you won't listen to the past or doubts: the moment he stepped a foot into the community, you knew it was over, beating so loud you could barely hear your own breathing or him, when Maria introduced you and he shook your hand with his much bigger one.

"Joel" he'd said, with the sexiest voice you'd ever heard. His hands were covered in gloves, but despite that and the cold winter, the warmth that pooled from his palms had spread across your cheeks and chest. It had taken you a while to realize you hadn't said anything.

"Y/n" you hate the way your voice sounded small.

He nods, a way of saying Nice to meet you in his withdrawn nature. Then walks away, with Tommy and the girl, who looks curiously at you, Joel completely oblivious of how he's just turned your world upside down.

"Welcome to the museum!" you had said.

He tilted his head in confusion, Ellie's stare intense. "I thought this' Jackson?"

"This is a museum, because you're a work of art"

The tip of his ears instantly reddened, and the laugh Ellie was containing bursted like a bottle of champagne.

"Look at you, old man!" she laughed at him, making you wonder their relationship and how closer they seemed to be, despite initial assumptions. "Can't believe a girl gets the big, grumpy, scary Miller to blush like a boy"

You think that's the reason behind his apathy towards you, barely reacting to your pick-up lines or "subtle" flirting. It's probably not a reason as childish as that, but you'd rather be wrong than accept he may never feel the same way you do.

Because for a moment, despite the times you lived in, life made sense.

So no matter the stares, Joel's guarded posture and lack of reciprocation, you'll always be there, waiting: riding the roller coaster, enjoying the high.

The speed brings you closer, even if that means you'll crash.

Unfortunately for Joel, he knows who you are.

He's not even ten patrolling jobs closer to owning a bottle of whiskey of his own (he thinks earning it is bullshit, hasn't he done already enough?), so he's forced to go to the only place where he can get it.

And of course, there's you: a name and face he couldn't place upon his arrival, even if you had introduced yourself with your shitty line (which made him blush and Ellie laugh, so maybe it was a grudge what made him bent on removing you from his head) yet now is ingraned into his mind.

He doesn't know what's worst: your flirting or the fact that you seemed genuine about it. Or maybe it's the fact that he can tell you apart from the rest now, with a face full of life, always ready to give him your best smile and serve his glass the way he likes.

He needs to be the bigger person in this mess and stop it, Joel thinks. He isn't one to care about the talking, years of being brutal hiding any possible feeling that isn't rage. But then Ellie smuggled her way in his life, he found Tommy again, and Jackson was a reminder of old days when he would allow himself to feel anything else. So, in a way, he's become a bit susceptible to the talking behind his back.

How could he entertain a girl that could be his daughter? hushed, behind his stool. But then your fingers brush "accidentally", and his dick twitches between his legs when you bite your lip, pronouncing a Sorry like no one has said before: a tone so low and sultry, he's convinced wasn't even possible. Then you bat your eyelashes, and laugh (a sound both as delightful as addictive) before you're saying: "Don't mind them. They're just jealous you've got all my attention" and for a brief second, Joel let's himself believe he's special and worth of your time.

It's now a while since he's been there in Jackson, slowly settling into a life that doesn't involve running and fear.

If he thought your little crush was a phase, he's wrong.

You're still giving him time.

He's not supposed to get attached to you, Ellie, Tommy and Maria (future nephew in the way) more than enough. But then, when he's alone in a house too big for two people, Joel misses the way your loud voice fills the eerie silence that's followed him since death has been tracking his every step. Or how your interest on his life doesn't seem an act, listening to every word he says with tender eyes and soft smile, sometimes even making the effort of bringing things he's said before into new conversations; remembering. His heart flutter at your compliments, no matter how dumb they are, probably because he's not used to that stuff. As he lays awake at night, brain clogged with wounds too deep to bear, he finds comfort in things he has a feeling he's too old to get worked up about.

"Joel" you had said one day. God, he loved his name on your lips. The way you say it so sure, as if you'd follow him wherever he'd go.

He coughs. "Yeah?" and you smile, because at least he's looking in your direction.

"The chance of meeting a person like you is the only reason I talk to strangers"

The way your tone was straight, not flinching or faltering scared him. How something akin to sincerity dancing in the sparkles of your eyes, that now seemed to waver not out of whimsy but out of vulnerability, perfectly hidden in what could pass as another one of your attempts to woo him, but Joel's lived and seen enough to know it means much more.

So now, whenever there's darkness, he finds light on replaying those small moments on his head.

Dear God. What's he become? Ellie can't find out or he'll never hear the end of it.

But this things you don't know. All you see is a wall, and you're getting tired of hitting it.

The few words he spares your way are now a punishment you endure, cruel reminder that it's all you'll ever get.

Could you be in love forever? Could you even love?

It was a new feeling. Foreign, in fields of inexperience, but familiars in others. You may have never felt it, but the way your beat was steady when he showed up, worn out boots against the wood creaking under his weight, makes you believe when you know, you know.

"Hello, Joel" your father greets before you speak. Today, no matter how much you tried to shoo him away, he stayed.

You send a small smile his way, but he doesn't return it. You feel small, like a kid, undeserving of his attention. There's a bit of relief knowing your dad's there, so you let him take Joel for you.

There's always a first, and when both your dad and Joel notice, the latter feels a little sting on his chest.

But he's caused this, he thinks. It's what he wanted, after all: for you to stop chasing a man with scars in and out, bearing sins and blood where you had innocence and love.

"We're having a party tonight" he comments, making Joel quirk an eyebrow as he sips.

He gives you a brief glimpse, lost in the curve of your ass in those tight jeans, you giving him your back. He dryly scoffs on instinct at your deliberate choice to ignore him.

"Why's that?"

"My daughter's birthday"

He sees your body tense in the corner of his eye, wiping the glass in your hand with a bit too much force.

"Happy birthday" Joel speaks up, and you mutter a weak Thanks.

That's all he gets? No smile, no looking his way. Just a dry thank you that sounds more like something he would say.

Oh.

Was this how you felt?

"Time sure flies by" your dad sighs nostalgic, completely oblivious to the whole thing. "I feel if it was yesterday we came home from the hospital with you"

You smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes, despite the obvious adoration for your dad.

"Don't get sappy on me" you sound embarrassed.

"I don't care. Twenty-one years later and an apocalypse in the mix, you're still my baby"

"Dad!" your cheeks heat up, and Joel almost forgets he's there, his body back to life when your face goes back to its normal color and happiness.

"Which means" your dad goes back to Joel, "you're invited"

Your laughter dies and Joel's chest tightens.

"You need to stop saying that. All Jackson is invited" you respond, making him flinch. The bite is obvious.

You're not special, is what you try to say in between lines.

"I'll be there" tone daring, and your father feels something has shifted in the air.

You don't answer after that. What are you supposed to say? Don't come? I hate you for making me feel small? He doesn't owe you anything, but it still hurts.

"It's at seven" there's a sharp edge to your tone when looking at him.

"I'll be there" he repeats, still, but it sounds more like who he really is trying to convince is himself.

Joel is there, as promised. You don't know why, but after what happened earlier, for the first time ever, seeing him brings you dread.

He catches you in a corner, sipping on some drink.

"Hi" it's soft, the tone new, and it doesn't help the pit in your stomach.

"Hey"

"Why are you here?" he's curious., "ain't this supposed to be your party?"

It's funny, really. The way everyone else mingles around you, laugh and talk, yet here you are, bitter inside the shadows of your corner.

You raise your glass and chuckle dryly. "Well, cheers to that"

"You shouldn't be here" he insists, and you roll your eyes. Then, his voice goes soft. "Is... Is this because of me?"

You scoff, venom falling out of your bitter laugh. "Wow, big ego you got there. Newsflash: the world doesn't revolve around you"

He's so used to your pinning, it's hard to bear the change.

"I wasn't saying that, I just-"

"Please don't" you cut him off. "Don't ruin my birthday more than you already have, thanks"

You decide to walk away, but Joel won't let you.

"I don't want that" he insists, blocking your steps. "I want you to be happy"

"Don't bullshit me" your tone is icy, cutting like daggers. "Please, leave me alone"

"Not until you're fine"

You scoff at his incomprehensible behavior.

"Oh, now you care? Drop the act; you're just angry I'm not stroking your ego anymore like a lovesick puppy. Truth is, you don't owe me anything, Joel"

He looks like you've slapped him across his face.

"I know" his voice darkens, filled with tension. "But-"

You get tired at Joel's sudden insistence, overwhelming you with confusion. This is the same guy that has uttered less than fifty words your way, indifferent to your flirting and special treatment. Of course, it may have been a little silly of you to expect so much from a guy older even than your dad, but his apathy was borderline rude, and that you can't excuse. Or understand. Or let go.

So yes, you're being petty. And yes, it also feels good to have him begging to have your attention, the roles reversed.

"But what, Joel? Is there anything you can say, really? It's not that serious" you empty the glass in a chug, feeling dizzy. "Live a little and stop being so obssesed with me"

He shoots you a look hard to decipher. There is hurt: from all the emotions available, he chose the one thing you didn't think he'd be capable of feeling. Hell, he looked rather more like the cause than the affected on the other end. But then auburn fires flash behind his eyes, and the circle repeats itself, the danger and rage Maria warned you about.

"Obssesed with you?" his eyes carry a wild light in them. "If anyone is obssesed, well, it ain't me"

"I need air" you push past him, done with his shit.

"I'm sorry-"

The cold wind hits your face as you storm outside the bar. Is this a lesson to be learnt? Was this how heartbreak felt? The only thing you know is you need to get the farthest you can, even if your footsteps feel heavy with the weight of the snowed streets and frigidness of your heart.

"Y/n, wait!"

You turn around. Unbelievable: Joel Miller is running after you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Joel?!" you shout, "why can't you just leave me alone?!"

"Because I-"

"There's nothing for you to say" you counter, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration. "If this is some sort of guilt thing, I need you to let it go. What I did- I mean, you should probably forget about the whole thing. It's my fault, and I'm sorry my reaction is immature and what not, but I should've known to read the signs. You're simply not interested in a girl who hasn't truly lived or known what pain is"

After you confession, you hear a laugh. You raise your eyes, anger and hurt flashing in tears.

"And you have the nerve to fucking laugh?! Fuck you, Joel" you want to walk away to save yourself from further embarrasment yet your feet seem to be stuck.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm not interested?" you roll your eyes, but he pins you by your shoulders, as if knowing you'd walk away. "Listen, I need you to know somethin': I'm not who you think I am"

"I don't care" you interrupt, defiant. "You're right, I don't know who you are. But I want to. Who you where outside this walls... It doesn't matter, not to me. You did what you had to do to survive, and that brought you here. Jackson... think of it as a second chance. You can still be happy, you know?"

With me, dies in your throat, not wanting to give more of yourself away.

"It's better this way" Joel insists, "hell, you'll even thank me one day. There's plenty of young boys here who'd love to be with you, trust me"

"I don't want them, Joel. What's so hard to understand?" what makes you get closer to him, you don't know, but in a sudden rush of force, you find the courage to look at him, body standing still as you exhale, fears condense in the air. "I only want you"

"You don't" you should roll your eyes again at his stubborn character, but his voice comes out so small, almost as if resignated, that it tugs your chest.

"I do" you reply firmly, cupping his cheek with tender care. He leans in your touch, despite it revealing his true desires when it comes to you.

"Why me?" Joel whispers, bigger hand covering yours, as to prove it's real and the warmth isn't a joke. "Why not a younger, charmin', happy boy your age? Why a broken violent older man?"

His voice breaks after the admission, quietly seeping into heavy silence that falls like the snowflakes in his hair.

"Joel" you call his name softly, making those sad brown eyes look at you. You gulp, nervous at the storm of emotions inside them, "is it so hard to believe you can be loved?"

Your words make him falter, his grip loosing strength as he tumbles back.

"Love?" he repeats with disbelief, as if you'd just say some kind of tale. "There isn't love in this world left for me. Men like me don't deserve good things, especially if they comin' from a pretty girl as yourself"

You shouldn't be blushing at times like this, but the maroon splash on your cheeks betrays you, warm as the drink from before and red as the dim lights casted by Jackson's Christmas tree in the middle of the town.

"Joel" you call again, and he's surprised you're still there. That you hadn't turn your back on him, or looked into his eyes and saw the monster in him, running away to never come back.

"If you let me" you hold his hands to steady him even as they tremble, "I could"

I could love you.

The promise hangs unspoken in the air, the wind now barely above a humming.

"You'd take me" his voice falters, "with all I've done, knowing I've hurted people?" Killed people, but he can't bring himself to say it when you look at him like that: like he could learn to love you.

"Yes" your voice doesn't waver a bit, "every part of you"

"And you'd take me knowin' that I'm years ahead in hurt, age and life?"

"Yes, Joel" you giggle. "Are you making me do an exam on your life? Because that's not fair, you've barely spoken to me, or anyone else for the matter!"

He chuckles, shaking his head.

"I s'ppose life ain't fair, sometimes"

"But it could be" the moonlight of the now clear sky shines over your eyes, and Joel is sure that the stars would be jealous.

"It could" he repeats, as to believe it himself.

Silence settles again, but it doesn't feel suffocating anymore.

"You know, we should probably get inside"

You dissmiss his words. "Nobody has even noticed we're gone"

"What about the cake?"

Your chest feels warm at his concern. He may not believe it, but the old-world Joel, the one who was a contractor in Texas and had a daughter, is still there, somewhere.

"Jackson is real, but miracles not" you laugh, "we don't have those. The party really is just an excuse for dad to drink with his friends during labor hours"

"And yours?" Joel inquires, "where your friends at?"

"Left early" then you lean to his ear, hot where skin meets cold. "I told them to"

He tries, but all words die on his throat.

"Wanna know why I did it?" your fingers wander to his tense jawline, tracing your sharp nails until they descent to his neck, sprinkled with loose hairs from his beard.

"Why?" voice barely above a whisper, his cock painfully hard between his legs. That you don't know: just the glint of dark on his hazel eyes.

"Why don't we find out?" and your hand takes his to lead the way. When he doesn't move, you try other way.

"I'm the birthday girl" you tease softly, but your orbs sparkle with something akin to dangerous. "You better make it up to me"

You've walked this road so many times, yet it's never felt longer.

The house is alone, you'd say, and Joel followed you because well, he'd follow you anywhere. He notices you said 'house', an indicator you still live with your parents. He wonders if you're embarrased, but by the way you smile, inviting him inside, to a part of you intimate and unknown until today, he knows he's chosen right.

When you open the door, cold creeps in through the cracks of warmth. You lead the way to your room, and once you're inside, he thinks it's very you.

"Very me?" you giggle, taking a seat in the bed. Joel watches from the doorframe, his bulky arms crossed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's cute" and you think it's not a frequent word in his vocabulary, thanks to the pink dusting his cheeks.

"I'm cute?" you repeat delighted, and the shade of pink turns darker.

He just nods, avoiding your gaze.

"Joel" you call, then pat the spot next to you "why are you so far away? Are you scared?"

He grumbles something under his breath before walking over to where you showed. The bed creaks under his weight, and now that he's closer, you hear the wavering beat of his heart and ragged breaths.

"You are scared" you repeat, a statement now. He thinks you're mocking him, until your sure hand grabs his. "It's okay"

Before he can add on that, your face is too close, your breath tickling over his nose. He feels the moist of your lips press over the brigde of it, with a tenderness that brings ghosts of tears he has since long shade to his eyes.

Then they smoothly move to catch him in a kiss. He lets out a shaky gasp against your mouth, letting himself loose on the whiskey drops inside, an intoxicating mix against his own. His hands find your waist, gripping the soft skin with calloused fingers, refusing to leave it. He squeezes your curves while infiltrating your mouth with his tongue, until he pulls to breath, making you whine.

"Fuck, sweetheart" he nips your lower lip, "ain't you the sweetest thin' to ever exist?"

The kiss gets more heated, his hands now traveling to your face as they hold onto you for support, rough digits meeting peachy skin. Just the mere act of kissing makes him groan against you, too old to be shameful about the needy sounds coming out of his mouth.

"Joel" you whimper his name. He stops and takes the time to bore his gaze over your flushed face, your own dazed eyes mirroring his.

His fingers find their way to your hips again, pulling you closer. The moment caughts you and the bed off guard, the furniture creaking while your eyes move to the hardness visible on his worn-out jeans. You move your head to free your mouth to talk, but that doesn't stop Joel, who hungrily kisses the trace of your jaw and the road starting in your neck and finishing on your collarbones.

"Is that because of me?" Joel whines against your lips, yet you can't stop staring at the very big silhouette. "Oh, happy birthday to me"

Joel whines when you tear way from him, his hands loosing grasp on your body. You move up against the headboard, spreading your legs for him to put himself in between them.

You take off your clothes, and his eyes don't leave your body as if it's a show for him. He can drool at the sight of your breasts, rosy skin waiting for his tongue and teeth to sink on it. He leans closer, eyes looming at moles he could beg to kiss.

Now you, your expectant eyes plea. Joel's posture adquires a guarded air, as he grows self-conscious.

"Stop staring at me like that" he nervously chuckles.

"Is there something wrong?" your sweet voice inquires, laced with concern. He gulps, kind of afraid and embarrased of what you would say.

"I'm..." his voice comes out strained, "I just-"

His mind briefly wanders to Tess, how she never said anything, rather busy seeking the warmth of his body without commenting about it. The act mattered over the feelings, which where in her eyes but not his heart. But now, his heart beats in a different sound, one where he wishes you won't judge a body crossed with the roughness of scars yet the softness of extra weight.

"M' just warnin' you, doll" the nickname brings butterflies in your stomach, "this body's seen better days"

He removes the layers of clothing: flannel first, and then tight white long sleeved shirt. He's left in his jeans, unbuckling his belt that falls to the floor with a thud. His breathing turns to panting, afraid to meet you in the eye.

"Joel" you repeat his name, bringing him back to reality. "Look at me"

He's killed people, faced raiders as much as infected, and other countless things, so he dares himself to look up, breath hitching when he finds you eating him with your eyes.

"Fuck, Joel. I didn't know you were so pretty under those dirty ass flannels"

You knew he'd be handsome; that's literally the reason why you chose to flirt with him. But now that he's completely stripped off his layers of warm clothing, it's even better. You can't stop your hungry eyes from roaming his body, lingering on the soft swell of his stomach, hanging over the waistband of his underwear. A scar that looks deep is near his belly button, and you wonder if he'll ever tell you why. There's a patch of hair over his soft chest your tongue wants to lick. And of course, his strong arms packed with broad shoulders that make you want to scream.

"Stop lying" he chastises, but there's a smile adorning his features. A true smile on Joel fucking Miller's face. What a rare sight; you need to see it more.

"W-where your condoms?" he asks, nervous.

That catches you off guard, too busy cooing over how a man so big and sturdy could fold that easily, looking and sounding small.

"I'm not sure. I mean, maybe on my parents room but I-"

You cut yourself. Joel's concerned gaze finds you. "Yes?"

"I want you, Joel" the intensity of your stare terrifies him. "All of you"

He falls closer to you, forehead against your own. He can't bring himself to look at you, so he closes his eyes and dares to ask:

"Are you sure you want this?"

Are you sure you want me?

"Don't you trust me?" you're all smiles, even if your voice is soft. "I want you. I truly do"

He's hiding his face into your shoulder until you feel his lips pressing against your now bare skin, making you shiver.

"Where you want me, birthday girl?" he says between kisses. "Tell me, sweetheart. I'm all ears"

"Please, Joel" you unhook your bra, letting your breasts free. His lips begin to kiss his way to your breasts, tongue teasing the skin before nipping it. Joel's teeth catch the hardened nipple, grazing it lightly.

"S'pretty" he sounds drunk, and you love the way he looses himself in the pleasure haze.

He continues kissing your breasts before positioning himself right so he can hover above you. The kisses turn wet and sloppier, as if all his energy was to be spent into the rosy skin.

"Can I taste you, sweetheart?" he lowers his head to your entrance, already soaking wet with your arousal. "Fuck me, if this ain't a meal"

"The best in all Jackson" you joke, but the laugh dies in your throat when Joel's nose ghosts over your throbbing pussy.

"I- fuck, Joel" you moan when he licks your folds, his tongue an expert. For a brief moment, you think of who came before you, and if this is what they got or you're getting the best version. His saliva mixes with your dripping juices, making you whine as his tongue licks your swollen folds. His fingers then slowly inserted themselves inside at the same time, moving in and out of your puffy walls. His groans mix with the sound of your whines and the furniture creaking, the sounds obscene and feeling so far from the outside world.

"You're so good at this, baby" his sweat mixes with the blush on his face because of the nickname, nose pressed against your clit as he keeps up the ministrations. "D-don't stop"

"This pussy's so pretty" he says, "and s'only for me, yeah?"

"Yes, Joel. Only yours" you whine, your orgasm approaching. All of your body feels on fire, every touch inching the burn in your stomach closer as his head remains between your legs, tongue insatiable. You come all over his face, your hands digging into his damp locks as you scream his name to the air.

Joel raises his head to capture your lips on a wet kiss, the taste of you inside your mouth and dripping from his coated beard.

"Ain't you sweet" you open your legs further. "You're such a tease, sweetheart. Gon'be the death of me"

"I just like seeing you like this" you admit.

"Means?"

"So fucking needy"

A borderline primal grumble births from his throat. "You've a filthy mouth on you, sweetheart" he chuckles while wrapping your legs around his waist and lining himself up. Joel's tip runs up and down your folds, grazing your clit long enough to make you gasp.

"And you're s'fuckin' tight" he mumbles under his breath. You gasp for air as you try to adjust yourself to the huge size of his girth, afraid you bit more than what you can chew. His pace starts slow but gradually picks up a rougher and quicker pace. Joel grunts between thrusts, yet takes his time to make sure his lips kiss every mole sprinkled across your face and chest, his favorite just above your left eyebrow.

"I want ya' to come first, like a present" blush crosses through his face again. He leaves teasing kisses against your face, as you wail, finally hitting you.

"I'll wait for you" you whisper, your hips aiding you to sustain his sloppy thrusts, "want you to come too. Inside"

You feel his softening dick twitch, suddenly rock hard again. Oh, so he was into that.

"Don't worry, I have a pill" you explain. "So go ahead, pretty boy. Show me if the size matches the talk"

"Bet" his voice acquires a darkness to it. "Gonna fill you with all of it, until you milk my cock dry. Gonna fill this pretty pussy until it's full of my seed and it leaks for days"

He follows right after, groaning into your shoulder, where he bits the skin. His tongue wets the area, to relief the pain, yet you like it. Thick ropes of cum paint your puffy heat creamy, Joel panting as he stares down at you.

"What?" you chuckle.

Maybe Jackson was a safe haven. Heaven incarnate. Maybe second chances were real, and for the first time in years, he feels safe.

"I don't deserve you" he voices his thoughts, forehead pressed against yours as he tries to even his breathing, yet each breath seems more labored than the last.

Your hands travel to his face, cupping it with tender hands. He leans on the touch, because despite his crimes and past dawning upon him, he's a man: one seeking comfort on a pretty face and anything that'll remind him of distant emotions that can still exist despite what the world has become. Joel's hands travel to yours, thumb brushing skin free of scars and pain. He envies and loves the beauty in your face, eyes full of something akin to affection looking back, blurring the pain mirrored on his own. You kiss him again, and he can feel the emotions in the tip of your tongue.

"You're wrong" your voice holds a quiet determination. Time was a precious gift, but in Jackson, time could be, and the resolve longing tells him you'll be there. I'm not going anywhere, Joel. Not without you. "We all deserve love, Joel"

Joel Miller is a man who finds it hard to trust, yet, when he takes a look at your eyes―warm as coffee, he allows himself to believe in you.

[accihoe]

Christmas Surprise

Pairing: Sergeant!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Summary: I don't want to spoil it, read and find out 💕

Warnings: mentions of war and army stuff

A/n: Merry Christmas, folks. I hope you all have a blessed day. I think it's kind of obvious what the story is about, but I hope you like it.

Read this pls❤️

Xxxx

"It's a pity James won't be making it this year. He's scarcely been around for Christmases since Papa passed, and Y/N seemed to have changed that, I thought. Though I suppose he is part of the army now, and they need him for war and all that."

"I was under the impression that all soldiers in training got Christmas off. But I know nothing about military matters, so don't trust my judgment."

Y/N stood in the hallway as her sisters-in-law spoke, Rebecca and Rudy (I made Rudy up for the sake of the story). Her heart beat heavily in her chest as she stared at the framed sketch of James Buchanan Barnes, drawn by Steven. G. R. .

With a smooth of her hands down her apron, she walked into the kitchen. The chatter instantly and awkwardly shifted to the peas that stood on the counter, and Rudy scattered to look for the rolling pin, that was tucked into the front pocket of her apron.

"It's alright, I heard. And Rudy's right. Jamie was supposed to come home four days ago, but for some reason him and his commando friends got refused dismissal or something."

Rebecca sighed, setting down her eggnog, and went to Y/N, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"Y/N/N,"

"Becca, it's quite alright. I really understand your concern, I do. I just feel bad for Jamie. He often spoke of his fondness for Christmas."

Rebecca gave another sad sigh and looked at Judy, who understood the silence.

"Well, on a different note. We've managed to scrounge together some canned versions of James's favourites. It ain't the real deal,"

"But it's pretty damn near."

Rebecca finished Rudy's sentence, allowing a little humour to fill the space. Y/N chuckled lightly, picking up a can of peas. This Christmas would be their 5th without Rudy's husband Joe, their 3rd without their father, and their 16th Christmas without their mother. And now, it would be their 3rd with Y/N, and 1st without Bucky. The three sisters (minus Y/N, merely Bucky's girlfriend, but they went by that nickname), were left to spend Christmas by themselves.

A knock at the door pulled the three women from their thoughts. They shared a look: that was not a feminine knock. It could mean one of three things;

•James was home by some miracle

•They were about to geat dreaded news about James

•The old man next door sent by his wife for sugar

•Rebecca's secret admirer (though this thought was only shared by Y/N and Ruby, and had James been there, him too)

"I'll go get it."

Y/N rushed to the door, heart pounding excitedly. To her dismay, it was Tom, the butcher's son. Y/N's heart sank and her smile faded to an annoyed expression.

"Tom. What can I do for you?"

"Merry Christmas, beautiful."

Y/N sighed, about to close the door when he handed her an envelope. Y/N cocked a brow, hesitant to take it.

"What's this?"

"It's from the post office. Mr. Bennett asked me to deliver it to you. Says the sender pleaded."

Y/N reached to take it but Tom pulled it back.

"Uh uh, first, Malcolm sent you something, and you need to take it before I give you your letter."

Y/N groaned, rolling her eyes.

"I am not obligated to take it."

"Well I'm not obligated to give this letter to you. It's just a favour."

Y/N narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips into a fine line.

"Fine."

Tom picked up a wrapped tin box and handed it to Y/N. Her gut sank, she knew what was in the tin. Tom placed the letter on the box and left. Y/N retrieved inside silently and placed her belongings upstairs in her room. She locked her door and ripped open the paper, sighing heavily when she saw the note on top of the expensive boots she'd been dreaming about.

Just a glimpse of what a real man could give you. Merry Christmas.

The note read.

She felt too bad to open the letter she knew was from James.

-Fast forward to eating time-

After the girls had dished up and said Grace, they sat at the table, ready to eat. Another knock sounded at the door, a man's knock. But a specific pattern belonging to only one man.

"James!"

The three girls said together and got up, but Y/N beat the rest to the door. The door was jerked open, blowing Y/N's hair from her face from the friction. Her stomach swarmed with fiery butterflies when her eyes registered the man before them.

"Buck,"

His signature grin spread across his face before he stepped forward, dropping his bags. Before she knew it, her lover was crushing her bones (just about) in a hug. Y/N's arms wrapped around his neck as he stood on a step lower than her. She felt his figure move as he inhaled her scent.

"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't allowed?"

"I'm not. But no command from any general jackass is gonna stop me from seeing my baby on Christmas."

Y/N laughed, pulling away to flick his forehead before hugging him again. The 'three sisters' made quick work of fixing Bucky a plate while he freshened up upstairs. Y/N couldn't keep her eyes from James as they ate the lunch. She could see the beginning of stress on his features, the slight fatigue from training, but there was something else.

He'd always been a pro at masking his true feelings, but the usual "Bucky shimmer" in his eyes was missing. He tried hard not to lock eyes with Y/N over lunch, but he couldn't keep his eyes from her. Though it'd been a mere two weeks, he'd missed her.

"Becks? I feel something is the matter with James. But I don't want to worry him asking, or pry, he just- oh I don't know he seems off."

Rebecca put down the plate she was washing and turned to Y/N with her own signature look.

"If anyone knows him well, it's you. So I'd say to trust your gut."

With that, Rebecca returned to washing the dishes. Y/N smiled faintly at the tilted floors of the Barnes' kitchen and nodded to herself.

"If it's alright with you, I think I'm going to have a word with him. See if he's alright."

"It's fine by me. Judy's the one you should be worryin' about. Now go, shoo, before she comes back from her rendezvous in the powder room (yes I'm implying that she's taking a dump)."

With a giggle shared between the younger girls Y/N scurried upstairs, knocking on the door of the guest bedroom, her bedroom for the holidays.

"Give me a moment."

James called back.

"Jamie, sugar, it's me."

"In that case give me two moments."

Bucky sassed. At least he was being himself. Y/N pushed the door open, thankful it wasn't locked. She instantly knew what was off. The stupid boots from Malcolm.

"What happened to respecting a man's privacy?"

He frowned at her.

"Darling I don't believe you get much of that in the army, and besides, I don't want us to spend the little time we have together on the blessing of a day brawling about a stupid third party inconvenience."

"So the fella you've been seeing is called 'stupid third party inconvenience?'"

Y/N shook her head with a soft laugh.

"I'm not seeing anybody, James."

"Then what's this?"

He pointed toward the boots, that remained untouched. Y/N sighed, putting the lid over them.

"My letter is right next to them. You didn't even open it. Though perhaps a mere letter that I split my ass to get to you isn't 'manly' enough is it?"

"James, language, and please, let me explain."

His furrowed brows dropped slightly, and Y/N took his silence as her opportunity to explain.

"You remember that rich kid whose father owns the country club?"

Bucky nodded apprehensively.

"I accidentally knocked my bag off a table a few weeks back, and he assisted me in picking up my belongings. He hasn't left me alone since. He's had his friend, or more like servant Tom deliver things to me ever since. Tom wouldn't give me your letter unless I accepted his gift. And I knew what it was going to be, but I was so horrified at his gesture, that I felt too ashamed to open your letter. I'm sorry."

".....Well he's not man enough to enlist."

James said after a moment of silence. Y/N chuckled through her nose and nodded.

"And he's not man enough to deliver the gifts himself."

Y/N nodded, smoothing a hand down James's arm, and then took ahold of his hand.

"You're all I want, Bucky. Believe you me. There's no overly priced pair of boots that could make me change my mind about that."

It was Bucky's turn to laugh at her comment.

"But does he know you've got a suitor?"

Y/N nodded, an irritated expression across her features.

"He knew when I dropped my bag, he knew when I was at the train station to send you off and he waited there to talk to me. And the gifts have ampled since your departure."

Bucky's jaw ticked, and Y/N felt his fingers clasped around hers twitch.

"What do you say you and I pay him a visit and return his gift?"

"Isn't that a little rude, especially on Christmas day?"

"Dollface, we're amidst a world war, I couldn't give a damn about being polite to a jackass who's tryna steal my girl."

"Buck you know he'll never succeed, right?"

"I do trust so. But still, I want to rub it in his face."

"James, baby, come on. If we give him a reaction, he'll probably like it. It'll give him the impression that he's getting to you."

"You were always the clever one in this relationship. So what do you suggest we do, miss smarty pants?"

Y/N hummed, pretending to think as she rubbed her chin.

"Well, for starters, you never call me that again. And, perhaps you and I dress nicely, beg Becca to use her camera, and post him a picture of us with Christmas regards written on the back."

"Not mean enough."

"There's a twist?"

James cocked an eyebrow, intrigued.

"I'm wearing the boots he sent."

James's face broke out into a boyish grin.

"Sounds more like it. I'm in. Get dressed, dollface, I'll use my baby blues on Becks."

"Work your magic Sergeant."

Y/N called as he left the room.

Xxxx

Fin. Merry, merry Christmas, people. I've derailed a little, I'm sorry. Never forget the true meaning behind Christmas, and never forget that you're loved.

Lots of love and best wishes

(Yes I am planning on a pt.2 depending on how well this does)

[woongisi]

Brand New God // Choi Jongho

sub!Choi Jongho x dom!fem!reader // SMUT

WC// 3.2k

Synopsis// Jongho was the perfect son in the eyes of the church. It was your mission to change that. Opportunity comes once he consumes you with a particularly sinful confession.

Warnings// blasphemy, corruption, angst for a bit, oral (male receiving), no protection (pls use it even for oral), improper use of confessional booths, dacryphilia if you squint

Author's Note// This has been a long time in the making. Hope my other religious trauma mfs enjoy it as much as I do. Title is an iDKHOW reference. ☺︎♡

---------

Jongho wasn't the preacher's son, but he may as well have been. Never late to mass, always helping the elders, scolding the children, the whole lot of it. Sung in the choir. Formerly an altar boy. The envy of every parent's eye.

He was always excited to see you even if he had to preface his greeting by asking why you missed mass yet again. Despite his general duties and all he was never much of an extrovert. You always felt the air of awkwardness that hung around him when he approached you. If anything gave away that he was happy to see you… it was his glossy eyes and trembling smile that he tried so hard to suppress.

Being the son every parent wanted had its perks but many downfalls in the end. Most of the other people your age had largely abandoned the strictness of their faiths. Many still kept their beliefs but no longer felt such pressure to be perfect. In turn, they tended to find Jongho annoying.

You, however? Something about him was cute. Just how nervous he was to speak to you. The deep blush that he tried to hide whenever he told you that you looked pretty. You told yourself you only really went to church out of obligation, but now you'd begun to think you were there for him more than anything. You knew he was perfect. You knew almost for a fact that he'd never touched anyone else or even himself. You'd love to ruin him but at the same time you'd accepted you'd never get to.

Right?

Something about today was different. Jongho's face was red the second he saw you, red before he'd so much as stood up to greet you.

“Miss! You look pretty as always.” He piped up and almost immediately turned to skitter away. Only stopping once you grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

“Thank you, Jongho. Always the gentleman. You look quite handsome today yourself.” You smiled and ruffled his hair a bit. “You seem nervous. Are you alright? Are you sick?”

“N-no I’m ok!” Jongho avoided your gaze like his life depended on it. “Lying is a sin, Jongho, lying is a sin.” He whispered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Ok, look! Can… Can I ask you something?”

“Anything you want, sweetheart.”

Jongho swore he'd just passed on. There was no way. No girl his age had ever called him that before… only the little old ladies.

“You- What- Ok, ok come on just follow me, alright?”

Jongho led you back to the confession booths. They were somewhat secluded, given the nature of their use. Standing with your back pressed against the wall, Jongho couldn't even hold eye contact as he stood sheepishly in front of you.

“I- Last night-” Jongho huffed and hid his face. “Stop looking at me like that!”

“Like what?” You smirked. “I'm not here to judge. It's just kinda cute seeing you so nervous.”

“Cute…? Anyway! Gosh! Last night I…” One glance at the low hem of your shirt had shut him down. “Never mind. It's ok! I don't wanna talk about it anymore.”

“Get in the goddamn booth.”

“W-What? First, don't use the Lord’s name in vain. Second… what?”

“Just pretend I'm the priest, k? You wouldn't lie to me, would you, Jongho?”

“This feels wrong, but… fine.”

Jongho sat in the booth and closed the curtains with trembling hands. He'd sat in this exact spot so many times and confessed to so many little sins. Little white lies, things that weren't even necessarily sins that he simply felt guilt for. This time he couldn't shake the anxiety.

Situated on the other half, you slid the small wooden door to the side to reveal the rectangular screen that kept you both apart.

“Right. Now tell me what's got you so bothered?”

Shame devoured Jongho from head to toe. He couldn't even believe he was sitting here letting you play priest. Why the hell was he doing this? Couldn't he just tell the actual priest when it was time for confession?

“Well, last night I had a dream.”

His voice has gotten low. You could tell he was trying hard not to stutter and could almost picture his eyebrows furrowed as he picked at his nails.

“I had a dream about a girl.”

“Mhm? What's odd about that?”

“She…” Jongho sighed. “She was touching me.”

“Like a hug?” You caught on to the fact it wasn't anything innocent in an instant but took any chance you could to hear Jongho confess. This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience after all.

“N-No. She was on her knees, she was dragging her nails along my thighs.”

“Ah, those thick thighs of yours? I see.”

Jongho chose to ignore that charged comment.

“She leaned down and put her mouth on my- uh- privates. And… why am I telling you this?!”

“Just relax. Let it out.”

“Ok…” The memories from the night before raced through the boy's brain. He felt like he might faint. “She bobbed her head up and down. Told me I looked handsome. Looked up at me with those shining eyes… didn't stop until I… you know.”

Jongho had slumped against the backboard of the booth, evident by the creaking. His hands nervously fidgeted with the hem of his striped wool sweater.

“She was just so beautiful, y/n… she looked like a dream.” A moment’s silence. “I mean I guess she was a dream. I just feel so filthy. I've never had a dream about that. I've never thought about someone like that. I've never even-”

You cut his rambling off. “Kissed someone? Touched yourself?”

“Both of those…” he murmured. “The worst thing about the dream is that we weren't married.”

“Jongho?”

“Yeah?”

“Was this girl me?”

“Yeah…” Jongho’s head hit the wall with a light thud.

The next thing he heard was shuffling, the cracks of old wood, and the curtain being shoved to the side.

“W-wait! I'm sorry… just… don't go.” He shot to sit straight up. “Forget what I said. Please, you're my only real friend.”

You swore you heard his voice crack at the end.

“The others our age aren't kind to me. I pretend it doesn't bother me and remember the Lord has a plan for me, but… you can only take so long of being surrounded by old people and little kids before you start to wonder what's wrong with you.”

He was undoubtedly crying now.

“You're probably already gone. Great job, Jongho, you ruined the only thing you had. Loser.”

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. Unbelievable. He was what the kids wanted to grow up to be like, yet he had such a low opinion of himself?

He about jumped out of his skin once you pulled his curtain away just enough to look in at him. Though it hurt to see him like this, he did look gorgeous. His full cheeks were a rosy pink, his lashes clumped together by the big wet tears that rolled down his face. You hated how it turned you on. Just a bit.

“Y-you didn't leave?”

“Oh, Jongho…” You pouted and extended your hand out to him. “No, I wouldn't leave without a word. I wouldn't leave, period.”

When he took your hand into his you could tell his body was shaking. Though he moved to stand up, it didn't last long before he was dropped on his knees, hand still on yours. You found yourself following shortly behind.

Jongho was properly sobbing in every regard, chest heaving, his mouth babbling nonsense to beg you for forgiveness. You shook away his hand and knelt to one knee. Placing a hand upon his shoulder was the only act it took for his arms to reach around your waist and pull himself against you, his face buried in your neck, his hands gripping the fabric of your shirt like you were going to disappear.

“Jongho…”, You rubbed circles on his back. “Come on. Look at me.”

Jongho obliged with hesitation, still avoiding looking into your eyes. You, of course, followed his eyes.

“I'm no prude. You can't get rid of me that easily. I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart. I didn't know you felt so alone, but, honestly… words aren't enough right now.”

You leaned in and placed a kiss on Jongho’s cheek. It was salty, but his skin was smooth against your lips. He flinched in shock but once you pulled away, he found himself wanting more.

His voice was barely above a whisper. “Wait. Can you do that again? Please… this time on my-”

You didn't let him finish his sentence before swooping back in and taking his lips into your own. He gasped so sweetly into your mouth, he tasted like honey and hints of sweetened coffee. Undoubtedly his breakfast.

“Follow my lead, okay?” Jongho was quick to agree.

Based on watching him suck on his bottom lip when he was nervous, you'd figured they'd be soft. They were pillowy, warm, and tasted like vanilla chapstick. His large hand had a death grip on your wrist and you could tell he was riddled with anxiety.

“Jongho, fuck. You taste so good.” You sighed deeply back into the kiss. Jongho's returned advances were shy but undoubtedly needy. The kiss was broken only long enough for you to take his ear lobe gently in your mouth, exercising care not to catch on his studded earring.

Jongho flinched and whined before melting into your touch once more. His mind felt hazy, sluggish, but oh so happy. He’d never dreamed of feeling this way. He didn’t expect to feel any kind of sexual gratification until he was married… whenever that may have been. The guilt he felt for letting you go at his neck in the middle of his lifelong church was immense, but part of him found it unbelievably hot.

“Mmh, please,” Jongho’s hand rested on the back of your head. “Don’t stop.”

“You can touch me, honey.” You smirked and shimmied your jacket off your shoulders. “Wherever you want. I’m yours to explore.”

Jongho was nothing short of eager, with his hands starting to roam the shape of your body. Every stripe you licked down his neck and every sloppy kiss brought forth unholy noises from his throat. His warmly tinted skin blossomed in shades of purple and blue with your manipulation. You’d just have to give him some of your concealer.

“Jongho?”

“Yes, dear? His head slumped forward with a pant.

“Your dream. Wanna make that a reality?”

“What? Isn’t that a-”

“Sin? Mhm. If you don’t sin a bit then Jesus died for nothing.” You giggled. “Besides, it can’t get much worse than what we’re doing already.”

Jongho thought for only a moment before whining and nodding eagerly.

You removed yourself from Jongho and leapt to your feet. “Ok, well we shouldn’t do that right here on the floor. Come on, get back in the booth.”

Jongho leaned back against the wooden wall with his hands bracing himself on the railing.

“Gonna unbutton those pants, alright?” As usual, Jongho was outfitted in slim-fitting black dress pants and a white button-up, complete with a black tie. He truly did look stunning even if you’d never be able to get him to accept it.

Jongho inhaled deeply, watching your every move as you dropped to your knees and fumbled with the clasp of his belt. Undoing it, you waited a moment to fully pull his pants down.

“You’re hard, Jongie~.” You cooed and rubbed the back of his thigh. “Have you ever been hard before?”

“Not outside the ones you get through puberty… or when you're scared for a presentation… well, not until that dream.” One hand brushed your hair out of your face.

“Oh? Sweet boy. I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

Soon enough, Jongho had shrugged his neatly ironed slacks to the floor. Your intuition told you he’d be big… But fuck. He really was. His boxers weren’t tight-fitting in any regard, but the tent formed in them was considerable.

“Oh hell, Jongho! Seriously?! This is what you’ve been keeping from the world all this time.” You groaned and fidgeted with the rim of one of the legs of his boxers. You glanced up long enough to catch his deep brown eyes staring down intently. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you a bit antsy to be under his gaze like this.

“I got you, ok?” Jongho hummed nervously at your words.

Your hand moved across the form of his dick just enough to give him an idea of what to expect from this. The way he jolted was enough to let you know he enjoyed it. You rubbed your hand over him with a flat palm and relished in the girth you could already tell he possessed underneath the fabric.

“You’re so fucking big, damn, did you even realize that?” Jongho shook his head feverishly.

“N-no… am I really?” Jongho felt his heart skip a beat, his hand hovering over you.

You could feel his presence over you and grabbed his hand, moved it to your hair, and gave it a reassuring pat. His fingers scratched at your scalp as if on instinct, soothing himself to the feeling. Every movement of your palm sent electric shocks up his spine.

Deciding it was due time for more, you inquired as to whether you could remove his boxers… met with an overwhelming agreeance. His cock sprung from under the confines of his underwear, causing him to wince at the newly cold air. His length was nothing to laugh at, you’d be a fool not to note the considerable circumference and upward curve as well. He was unshaven as you expected with curly black-brown hair over the expanse of his balls and above the base of his dick. He had a rather prominent happy trail which, fittingly, made you incredibly happy. He was circumcised with the skin around the head a shade lighter than the rest. The tip glistened with pre-cum in the dim light. Jongho squirmed under your watch.

“I-is something wrong? Do you not want to anymore…?”

“I… I’m kind of in shock honestly. Your dick is almost as pretty as you… almost.”

Jongho whined and gripped your hair lightly in response. Your free hand caressed the expanse of his firm thighs, the other encasing the head of his dick.

“A-ah, careful!” Jongho resisted the need to buck his hips against your touch. “I-I’m sensitive. Really.”

You hummed in acknowledgment, gathered a considerable amount of drool in the space of your cheeks, and let it run down onto him. The warm sensation melted the boy’s mind. You gave him a few languid strokes to spread the makeshift lube along the length of his shaft. Using three fingers, you rubbed a deliberate line up the prominent vein situated on the underside of his cock. Jongho’s labored breathing filled the confined space with need.

“Such a pretty thing, you are.” You purred and left a quick peck just below Jongho’s navel. “Such a needy boy.” Your movements matched up with your strokes and fondles.

“Feels good, doesn’t it? Don’t worry about replying, babe. Just listen to me.”

Jongho stroked your cheek with trembling hands. “You’re so beautiful.” His words almost carried a pout and made your heart melt. They felt sincere. Like you could trust them. He meant it outside the heat of the moment.

You met Jongho’s gaze tenderly. “So, you meant it all those times, didn’t you? All the times you greeted me before mass?”

Jongho’s voice was velvety smooth in his response. “Of course I did. Even besides lying being a sin… I’ve always thought so from the first time I saw you. Always…”

“Oh, Jongho… Jongho by the time I’m done with you, you’re only going to want to worship to me.”

Feeling you’d worked him up enough by now, you took his cock into your mouth, giving him time to adjust to the new feeling. You hollowed your cheeks and sunk your head further down around him, embracing the struggle once his length hit the back of your throat. Your gag panicked Jongho, urging him to nervously make sure you’re okay. You lent him a reassuring rub to his thigh, taking his cock back into your mouth with a hum.

Jongho’s grip on your hair tightened in congruence with his loudening moans. He felt as if he might die. He felt he might’ve already died because could heaven be any better than his current situation? He wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Feels so good, y/n, so good.” Jongho’s voice broke toward the end of his statement. You took into consideration how he wasn't used to this, planning every ministration carefully to ensure he enjoyed each moment that he lasted.

Introducing a hand to the mix, you wrapped your hand firmly around the base of his cock. This gave you a bit of stability in leverage so that you could swirl your tongue all over. Around the tip, tease the slit of his head, gently over the thin band of skin below it. You pulled back from his cock with a pop to catch your breath.

“Doing ok, Jongho?” You sighed and rested your cheek against his thigh for a moment.

His head was thrown back to rest against the wood of the booth, forehead damp with sweat. He granted you a thumbs up which you found incredibly in character.

“Cum whenever you're ready, alright? Just let me know.” You lowered yourself down a bit further in order to take one of his balls into your mouth. With one hand twisting and tugging at his cock, you knew he wouldn't take much longer to bust. It seemed you were right, whimpers filling the space around the two of you.

“Close-” Jongho groaned and desperately reached for your hand that was grasping at his toned thighs. You accept his advance, intertwining your fingers with his and squeezing reassuringly. His nails digging into the skin of your hand and his breath fully catching in his throat was the last sign you needed.

Swiftly, your mouth sank back around Jongho just in time for his climax. White hot cum coated the inside of your mouth, plenty of it, that had undoubtedly been waiting since his dream. You wondered briefly how uncomfortable it was for his balls to have been so full. Once Jongho came back down to reality enough, the gravity of what you'd done set in on him.

“You… you swallowed it?!” He gasped, shocked that was even a possibility.

“Mm,” You popped off of his length and shook your head. Opening your mouth wide so he could see his load pooling on your tongue, you made a show of swallowing every last drop. “Now I did.”

After a moment of silence Jongho cocked his head to the side. “Does it, uh, taste good?”

“Only because it's yours.”

Helping Jongho clean up with tissues you kept in your purse, you let him buckle his belt and help you to your feet.

“Don't you want anything in return?”

“Only for you to be mine and only mine.”

“O-Oh, I can do that. But what about your…?”

“Let's wait ‘til mass actually ends. They're gonna wonder where we've been. Come on, Jjongie.”

Anticipation shivered up his spine, taking your hand into his own to lead you to the doorway that opened to the main hall of the church.

Jongho took the initiative to kiss you tenderly. “I'll make up some excuse on the spot.”

“Deal.”

[redbuddi]

How do you cope with drawing backgrounds? I haven't found a healthy method yet

Well first thing's first you need to develop a passion for backgrounds and how much they can add to a work. If you only view it as an obligation, then you'll never allow yourself to see how much you can do with them.

I'm lucky because I was a Motorcity fan when the show was airing, so I was exposed to backgrounds like this that all of us in the fandom would pour over:

(cant find source, pls lmk if you have it)

by hungerartist

(By Abraham Martinez, cant find a social but will update with one if someone sends it)

These backgrounds aren't just fantastic because they're well-drawn, (although make no mistake, they are extremely good,) but because of how they wordlessly flesh out the world and the characters. The show takes place in a cyberpunk dystopia, where a new Detroit was literally just built on top of the old one, Detroit Deluxe. All the backgrounds above are from old Detroit (AKA Motorcity), but now look at one from Deluxe:

By Ivan Aguirre

Instant change, right? Motorcity is dark and grimy and falling apart, but it is dripping with personality and love.

(cant find source)

Deluxe, meanwhile, is bland and sterile. The most striking thing about it is the giant ominous Kane Co. tower, dominating the skyline. It creates a completely different tone and feel just by location, as the bright and vibrant color of Motorcity is constantly under siege by empty whiteness. The metaphor there is obvious and very powerful in my opinion. Apart from obvious cyberpunk anti-corportation message, I don't think they chose Detroit as the setting just because they like cars.

And all of this is stuff you can figure out just from the backgrounds!

On top of that is the fact that when you're doing layouts or compositions, especially if you're drawing a comic or storyboards, its good to have the background drawn or at least roughly laid out first so you can better determine what camera angle you're going for. A lot of the time if you don't your shots will end up looking kind of samey, usually just people's torsos.

[crisiscutie]

yandere! rufus with a puppygirl reader pls? shes such a good pet but shes also kinda dumb

ty for ur time!

bimbo puppy girl? 👀

Content Warning: NSFW. Pet Kink.

You've been only dating Rufus for a year and so far, it's been amazing;

You can always count on him to show his affection, never letting a moment pass between you two.

While some find him overbearing, you enjoy his constant attention towards you and don't find his behavior bothersome.

Besides, he stayed at your side when your best friends perished in a ship accident off of Costa Del Sol. It was your darkest time in life, but his support got you through it.

Later, when he came to you, he brought a dog collar that was both elegant and stylish, adorned with mako crystals that shimmered in the light, and your name elegantly etched on it.

He insisted on you wearing it to spice up your sex life, and you happily obliged.

He had you get accustomed to walking on all fours, giving him paw, and address him as "master".

At first, it stayed in the bedroom, but eventually, he insisted on you being his puppy girl everywhere you two went.

Taking bubble baths with him has become a cherished pastime for you.

You love the way he washes you, his hands moving over your skin in a loving caress as he calls you his princess, making you whine in delight.

His hand stroked your hair gently while you savored the sweet and creamy texture of the mini eclairs he feeds you as you rest on his lap.

Your entire body quivers with excitement when your master is near, and your tail wags so hard that it feels like it might fall off. You were at the mercy of the vibrating toy in your ass until he decided you were good enough.

As part of your training, it is crucial for you to be completely submissive to him. You must always greet him on your knees with your back arched, your ass in the air. There are no exceptions.

Your heart races as you wait for his command, feeling a mix of fear and excitement. You know that following his orders brings you pleasure, but disobeying him could lead to punishment.

Leaving behind your old life, you've fully embraced your new identity as Rufus' spoiled puppy girl, filled with pure happiness.

[alyona11]

ok I know you didnt really ask for feedback TM on your posts but I feel like I am obligated to remind u that you didnt trick anyone into following u lol. obviously you've made huge progress over the years, but the people who followed u for 2021 hadestown art? yeah they followed u for your cool art. you were an artist back then and u are an artist now. be proud of your old work too! u did great work.

anyway pls don't think less of your old art, people liked it for a reason, and even if they didn't, that doesn't make your work any less meaningful. but then again pls don't let me (a rando on the internet) tell you how to feel, obviously if you don't like your old stuff that's your call to make, but I just wanted to reassure you that it's all worthwhile and cool and should be celebrated imo. I love all your art! new and old. c: also I hope ur having a good day byyye

Thank you really, I do not hate my old art it’s just sometimes a revelation for me how much worse it was than I’ve remembered it xD I do like looking at it and seeing how far I’ve gone, I was mostly joking about tricking people into following me for art. I’m glad that people found something in it back in the days and maybe still follow the stuff I’m making (this time in better quality since their support helped me keep my motivation to draw more hadestown)

[baratiddyappreciator]

Heyyy can I request the Baki cast with an s/o who once had an ass but lost it thanks to weight loss and now they feel super insecure about it?

Pls and thank youuuu (if you don’t want to then pls ignore me)

Of course! My pleasure to oblige!

Baki:

Once again, more of a chest guy, but once he finds out that you're insecure about your butt then he's going to do his best to get your confidence back up. So what if there's less there now? There's still enough for him to grab, and frankly, he thinks you're perfect just the way you are.

He'll hype you up every chance he gets. Are you wearing new pants? Oh he's going to do a double-take and tell you that your ass looks great in those.

He's still a really touchy guy, so if he walks past you he'll still grab your hips or give your butt a little smack. He's down bad for you, no matter what your features may be, because to him, you're perfect.

That being said, he is tragic with words, so at some point he might find an old picture of you and go "damn, you were so thick!" or something like that not realizing immediately that that might upset you.

Kozue:

She understands body insecurity, she used to be really insecure about her body herself, she sometimes catches herself thinking that she could be taller or curvier, or maybe her eyes could have been lighter or darker. But the second she hears that you're insecure because of something, that's it, she's stepping up.

You don't like how small your butt is? You're going with her to the gym after school to do some squats, get you a proper cake, and it has the added bonus of you two being able to spend time with Baki, who is generally a ray of sunshine.

She's going to hype you up as much as possible, lots of telling you that you're beautiful and perfect. Is that an excuse for her to grab your ass? No, but she'll use it as one. She means it in a playful and reaffirming way, of course.

Hanayama:

He doesn't get insecurity. I mean, yeah, he understands how some people wouldn't find him attractive because his scars, but is he insecure about them? No.

That being said, he gives very quiet reassurance. If you're upset or feeling down, he's there, and he's going to talk it out with you. By the end of it, you probably end up really emotional because he's trying to logic this out, and he just winds up confused as to why you're upset.

He's got money, so if you're open to the idea and think it would help with your own self-esteem, he's willing to pay for you to go get some work done. He wants you to be happy with yourself.

That being said, he's terrified to bring up the suggestion. He doesn't want you to take it the wrong way, but he doesn't want you being insecure and upset with yourself. He'll suggest other ways first, of course, but if you want results faster then he'll make the offer as gently as possible.

Chiharu:

Bruh fym you don't like your ass?? He LOVES your ass! It's an ass! Butts are great! As a matter of fact, let him give you a list of reasons why your butt is great and perfect and why you should let him see it all the time.

For real, he doesn't understand why you'd be insecure. It's not like your ass is concave, that's pretty hard to do (and definitely not healthy, your muscles are in a bad state if they're bending the opposite way bestie, he is worried then). You still have two buttcheeks, and those = ass. Ass is ass, and he loves yours.

He'll make jokes about his own ass being flat just to distract you from whatever sad train of thought you're on. We all know his ass isn't flat, none of these men have a flat ass, but the sheer absurdity of things that come out of his mouth is insanely distracting.

He'll still bite your ass if given the chance. No hesitation or remorse, he's feral, get him his rabies shots asap.

Katsumi:

He's very practical about how to solve the issue. He's on top of it, once you tell him you feel insecure he's off doing research on how to boost self esteem. At one point, he's dragging you along on his morning workouts, he has you pull cards from a positive affirmation jar, he helps you with a skincare routine, reminds you to drink more water, all of it.

He wants to help you feel more secure overall, not just about one particular thing, and he's got the resources to do so. He's going to use those resources. If he needs to call his mom and have her bring you some soup, he will, don't test him.

He doesn't really have any insecurities, Katsumi is a pretty confident man most of the time when it comes to his looks, he knows he's handsome, but he might open up about some of his deeper insecurities.

He wants you both to be able to improve on areas that you're insecure on, and he's confident that with your help, he can become a far more confident person.

Jack:

He gets body insecurity, honestly. He's proud of where he is, don't get him wrong, but he knows what it's like probably better than anyone else in this lineup, and sometimes he looks at himself and sees all of his flaws. Fortunately, when you mention your own, he knows what to do.

You wind up getting dragged to a mirror with him standing behind you, making you list out every flaw, and with every word about what you see wrong, he tells you three things he sees as beautiful. He will make you cry.

After he makes you ugly sob and ruin his sweater (he doesn't care, he can wash it, duh) he's going to start dragging you along with him to the gym. He can push it pretty hard, he knows that, but with you, it's about teaching you to gain confidence and learn healthier habits.

He's willing to take time out of his workout to help you. Trying a deadlift? He's telling you the proper form, demonstrating, coaching your form and then watching you do your first lift. Bench-pressing? He's your spotter, and he's incredibly attentive about it. He is behind you the entire time, and he wants you to know that.

Kosho:

He's really quiet the first time you tell him about your insecurity, and honestly, you'd be forgiven for thinking that he doesn't care. It's not until you finish talking and might start crying that he passes you a box of tissues, pulls you into a hug and starts talking about his own insecurities as well.

It turns into a mini-therapy session for the both of you. Sometimes all we need is to get our burdens off of our chests for a little while with someone who understands and we can trust.

He never used to have so many scars, especially the ones all over his face, and while he sees them as a badge of honor and a reminder of what can go wrong, they still change how he also views himself.

He'll make it a point for you both to say something nice about yourselves and each-other before you both turn in for the night. If he thinks you haven't said anything good about yourself, he's going to sit there and wait until you do.

Kureha:

He gets you a therapist right away. He deals with a lot all day, but he's also not able to help you delve into insecurity and address it in a healthy way. He does slip a bit into his professional self, where he'll sit up a bit straighter and use that one Calm Doctor tone.

He wants you to feel better, but he's good at healing bodies, not minds. He knows that you'll need support to get through your insecurities though, so he'll tone down the bitchiness a little bit. He knows when it's appropriate and when it isn't.

This being said, he's not afraid of being a complete jerk to get you mad at him instead of upset at yourself, even for a few minutes. He's very good at pissing people off, it's a natural talent of his.

He does take the time to appreciate every part of you. If there's an insecurity about one part, there's bound to be more about other parts, and he's going to make sure that you see yourself as perfectly as he does.

Retsu:

This man is like a warm hug coming in from the cold. He might not understand entirely, but he knows that you're not feeling well about yourself, and he'll do his best to help you feel as loved as possible. You're precious to him, and he wants you to feel good about yourself.

This man's cooking can fix *ANYTHING* I swear. You're crying about something? He made you soup, and now it's all better. Your eyes might be puffy from crying and your nose might be runny, but you have nice warm tasty soup and a blanket, your man is right there with you, telling you that everything is going to be okay.

Did I mention that this man, given the chance, could write poetry about how much he loves you? Yeah, no, this is one of the circumstances that he will do so and read it to you. It's the most flamboyant for of positive affirmation out there, but it's a good one.

If making you feel better involves worshiping you like the lovely person you are, he'll do so without any hesitation. You can rest easy feeling that he has an answer to every problem you might have.

Doppo:

He listens to your admission about not liking that part of yourself with a very serious and stern face, and then he gets up, grabs his coat and tells you to get ready and to come with him, that you're both going somewhere.

You might think that it's somewhere quiet and sweet, but no, he takes you to a funhouse with those mirrors that make everything look warped. He makes you stand in front of all of them so you two can see how silly you look, but then he makes you stand in front of a normal mirror, kisses your cheek and tells you how beautiful you look.

He tries his best to make you feel better in the goofiest, most dad-like way of them all. It might work, it might not, but he's not going to stop doing it either. Give him the chance and he'll keep doing it until you see what he's trying to do, and that is to help you understand that no matter how you see yourself, he can always see you, and he wants you to know that you're perfect.

He offers support and solutions, choosing one won't exclude the other, it's dependent on what you want and what you need to feel better.

Natsue:

This woman is a MOTHER. You tell her you're not feeling good about your body and she's on top of it. She's immediately reassuring you that that's normal, that everyone, at some point in time, doesn't like how they look in the mirror, and that you're not alone in that.

She'll try and help you come to terms with what you don't like about yourself. If it's a smaller butt than before you lost weight, she'll try and help you figure out what about that you don't like so you can figure out (together, because she's not making you do this alone) what steps you feel you need to take to feel better.

This is the kind of woman to hold your hand and tell you that you're stunning and she genuinely means it, it's obvious in the way that she holds you and looks at you, all of it.

Lots of reassuring touches, like squeezing your shoulders or holding your hand, even rubbing your back. She is here for you, just like she's there for her boys, even if they don't need the same as you do.

Shibukawa:

He's going to teach you to laugh about it. You may think "but that's not gonna help-" Au contraire, my dear reader! Laughing about your insecurities can be very healthy, because instead of making it a source of pain and discomfort, he teaches you to associate looking at yourself with joy and laughter.

Laughter itself just makes people feel a heck of a lot better, and he knows that all too well. Sometimes all we can do is laugh at something. Does it immediately help? No, not really, but time is both gentle and cruel, and you have a lot of time left to change and grow.

He'll tell you about how he used to hate how much smaller he was getting with age, how much he hated his greying hair and loosening skin, but now? This is one of the most confident men you will ever meet, because while it may suck to change, it means that you're still alive, and that's pretty good, all things considered!

He'll hold your hand every time he sees you staring at yourself in the mirror looking upset, because while he's trying to teach you to laugh and love the changes you'll go through, he knows that sometimes it pays to have someone by your side during the process.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP I sent you an ask abt this topic months ago & I understand why you didn't post it. I've been following you since last year, I love how you approach topics & I know you hate stupid drama. My ask was a bit controversial & I get why you didn't post it. But I saw sth today again that I can't forget. So I'm asking you again & I'll add more info to it so pls give me your honest answer.

I'm 36 years old, from Romania but now living in Germany. I got into kpop at 2020 through BTS & quickly fell down the rabbit hole. Then I discovered other idols I like Weeekly, Stray Kids, Exo, Girls Generation, Tayeon, Shinee, Super Junior, TXT, Nct & some others. Kpop was big world for me & made me happy with the new concepts & personalities. My father was very abusive & I've struggled with suicidal ideations for most of my life. BTS love yourself music made me go back to therapy. I consumed their music from the beginning because the thought of No More Dream & me not having to have dreams, lifted a weight off me. Funnyly, not feeling obligated to have dreams made me find my dream of working with special needs people. I feel more fulfilled than I've ever felt. I thank BTS because their music was to sincere it reached me. My bias is Jungkook but I understand why he fell for RM. His struggles with mental health sounded like my own. His honesty in those topics was like he opened my head & written down my thoughts. I have shared this on twitter before & some people did not respond well. This is when I sent you the ask before but I understand if you didn't want to say your mind at that time. But BPP, I shared this in a kpop discord today & some people shut me down again. They told me BTS only sang abt mental health because their company had no money for other topics. They told me it was marketing strategies. They said Hybe surveyed fans for mental illnesses & only made music abt mental health because the fandom is sick. When I tried to mention RM & his older songs they got even more angry.

I was shocked & hurt. I left the discord. The shocking thing for me is it was my friend who was saying it. I thought she of all people wld understand because she is a fan of Shinee. I thought she wld understand how important mental health is for me & for people. I tried to share BTS lyrics but they did not care & the more I shared the more they mocked me. I don't understand this reaction. It hurt me & made me question everything. Which survey are they talking abt? Was it before No More Dream? They made it sound like I was stupid to believe BTS truly wrote abt their mental health. They said nobody in BTS truly cares abt this topic & Hybe only marketed the topic to fans for money. I know it's stupid but I feel hurt & confused. My Shinee friend was so angry I don't understand her reaction at all. I'm trying to think through the songs. I know marketing is something Hybe did but every singer does marketing. Does it mean the songs are not sincere? Can not both things be true together?

**

Hi Anon,

This was... hard to read, but I appreciate you taking the time to write out your thoughts. I vaguely remember the ask you sent earlier and I ignored it because around that time, I was getting asks that appeared written obviously to bait, and because your ask mentioned a multi / anti dismissing your experience (and goading you into self harm?), it seemed too on the nose with drama happening elsewhere at the time so I deleted it. Now I realize that was a mistake, so I'm sorry.

I doubt this is news for you following your experience, but the default thinking of k-pop stans is to reduce BTS's music and their own comments about their music, to marketing or something otherwise orchestrated by the company without significant input from BTS. This is the reasoning you'll see several k-pop stans espouse no matter the platform you're on, and I've seen this said about BTS since their debut regardless of the topic or music concept. K-pop stans' own experiences with their own favourite groups in k-pop - groups that do in fact rely overwhelmingly on mediaplay, marketing, and music written by a company for idols, are what informs their views so try not to take anything they say personally. These people can only speak based on what they know.

About the Love Yourself series in particular being the result of marketing or a fan survey:

Personally, I question the intelligence of anyone who offers such a reductive explanation. It's really that simple. Like if you actually understand what this industry is, if you have all the facts at your disposal, if you're aware of the environment in which BTS operated first as South Koreans after the economic crash and as under-supported idols in that industry, and your conclusion is that the Love Yourself musical direction was primarily a marketing gimmick, there's no choice for me but to question your intelligence.

One thing you'll never see me making light of, is an idol speaking about the mental toll this business takes on them, or of the artist grappling with what that means for them. However they express those thoughts, I'll take it, regardless of whether or not it meets more elaborate or insightful expressions I've seen in other artists.

You will not find me trivializing it in any way, shape, or form.

There's already too much cynicism in this industry, and the clinical approach with which Western commentators dissect minority artists, is all too familiar to me. It reeks of something... rancid.

And this is besides the fact that too often, these commentators are also willfully ignorant of the background the artists are coming from that informs their music, and nowhere will you see this more often than with BTS.

I recall the asks I was getting earlier this year about Jin's Proof clip comments, how many people completely missed the lyrical references to Moon - the most personal fan song he'd written at that time, according to him. Then to see those themes reiterated in The Astronaut, written by Jin and Coldplay, and once again the lyrical references he's consistently made about the fans' impact on his growth, going completely over their heads.

Dismissal of BTS's lyrics frustrates me especially because more than anything else, the thing that has always set BTS apart from the rest of their peers and the industry, even before their breakout on the international front in 2017, is their lyrical expression. Like, most of the people who are K-ARMYs today, became ARMYs because of what BTS were singing about and how they sang about it. It was not common for idols to write their own lyrics. So BTS mostly writing their own lyrics, noting what they were writing about and the stigma it still very much carried... it sometimes blows my mind that even now, a lot of people really don't understand how much of a gamble this approach was for them in terms of pure commercial results given the status quo at the time.

It's times like that I wish that either BTS were fluent English speakers with an American background so those references would carry over easier, or that only Korean people were exposed to BTS. Because at some point, the ignorance is almost painful for me to witness. And this is me being 100% honest.

**

Anyway, the simple answer to your question of what exactly happened to you in that discord, is that you're simply watching people respond to the incentives the k-pop industry provides. Exploring mental health issues and the relationships idols have with those who have influenced them including fans, is deep and meaningful when an artist they like and respect explores this topic, and banal and vapid when an artist they typically pick apart, does the same. Again, when I talk about how competition informs virtually every aspect of k-pop, this is yet another example of what I mean. Shawols and multis are not immune to this, and neither are ARMYs. Anon, I understand how hurtful your experience was, but please recognize it for what it is and don't take it personally.

The survey your Shawol friend is referring to is a marketing survey BigHit uploaded on October 1, 2017 - I've linked that full survey here. That this survey was a HYBE-orchestrated mass propaganda event which created the Love Yourself series and made BTS talk about mental health, is a common myth you'll find in k-pop spaces where people don't know how to count.

The Love Yourself: Her album was released on September 18, 2017 and BTS had mentioned preparing for that album, including writing the songs on it, since December 2015 - ~2 years before the survey. And of course BTS had been exploring those topics since before their debut in 2013.

To quote an ARMY who has exhaustively debunked this myth 3 years ago, 'mental health' is not even the primary focus of the Love Yourself album series "as Namjoon explained in every interview, the idea behind love yourself is that true love (her) cannot last (tear) without honesty, courage & self-love, which should be celebrated (answer)."

The contents of the survey itself didn't deviate much from the bi-annual BTS fancafe membership surveys (asking about age, country background, how you discovered BTS, etc), typical MBTI questions (such as those BTS themselves answered in their 2022 Seasons Greetings - quiz questions that are typically popular with Korean teens), and fan quizzes sometimes done around Festa (such as the Festa exams last year). On old BPP I wrote a detailed post about that survey so if this is something you're interested in reading, let me know and I'll dig it up to repost.

**

Anon, I'm sorry the interactions you've had with some k-pop fans affected you so negatively in an area you already feel vulnerable in. I'm not sure the exact nature of your friendship with this Shinee fan, but you're a 36 year old woman who has developed a passion for helping some of the most vulnerable people, you're a big girl doing good in your community, and who happens to have found comfort and joy in BTS's music. You don't have to engage with people who treat you and what you love spitefully for no good reason. Decide for yourself if it's worth it remaining in that space, and act in a way that prioritizes your peace of mind.

And stream The Astronaut. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Good luck. 💜

[knotbinary]

hello ! (pls don’t feel obligated to answer this, I know this is kinda a weird ask) im working on making a monster dating sim game (which currently I’m in the planning stage of) and am attempting to conduct some market research here on tumblr 😅. I really love ur blog and was just wondering if you’ve noticed any trends in terms of wat monsters/ monster tropes that tend to do well with your posts ? It doesn’t have to be anything detailed, just general vibes if you’ve noticed any - tho totally chill if u haven’t. Again ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE to respond to this, I don’t want to take up ur time (if you’ve even read this far thank you). Sorry for the strange ask ! and thank you for posting amazing content you’re literally one of my favourite blogs

I'm not sure how much help I can be because I don't tend to notice these things, but I can share with you which of my posts are most popular and perhaps you can extrapolate from there. Keep in mind, though, some of these posts did well because I reblogged them to my main (@roguemonsterfucker) and that blog has a lot more followers than this one.

A werewolf who hasn’t told their partner that they’re a werewolf yet, but they buy their partner knotted dildos to test the waters and prepare them…

being left as the sacrifice for the old gods at the edge of the forest. but you are found by the pack of werewolves instead. (cont.)

I’m a simple person. I see fangs and I get hard.

A magic monster dildo. It gains power as you use it until eventually it can take its full form. In the middle of using it, suddenly it becomes an actual monster and starts fucking you.

Oh to be tied up and used as a breeding mount for all manner of horny creatures. (cont.)

A backyard barbecue to get to know your new partner’s friends turns into a werewolf pack gang bang. (cont.)

Thinking about how after sex with a werewolf, you’re knotted for a while and you spend that time just chatting, bonding, maybe even snacking on some food you kept handy.

Can’t get the idea of being a pet to a werewolf and vampire out of my head. (cont.)

Those are all my posts on this blog with a considerable amount of notes.

I'll say, it's interesting that the living dildo one is already so high up on the list considering I only posted it ten days ago. A lot of these posts took weeks or even months to get the amount of notes they have now.

Another that I seem to recall doing well quickly was ironically the other dildo one. Though I think that's partially because I reblogged it to my main, which I don't usually do.

I used this website to find my most popular original posts: https://jetblackcode.com/TumblrNoteCounter

I hope this helps somehow! And I hope you'll let us know when you have the game available! We need more monster dating sims! 🥰

[niel-trbl]

Did You Just...? (Part 5)

Another week, another part! This series is finally coming to an end in the next part and I need your opinion on how it should go! Let me know in my ask~ and again @itegamibachi thank you for your lovely message in the previous part!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

"what do you mean, you're getting over me?"

so,,, you must be wondering how you got here

well yes, big Dongwook did call Dongwook to come over and pick you up

except that um, it was AFTER you called him

yEA let's rewind back to last night

remember how you were all worried pre-drinks??

well that went out of the window after that!! you started talking a lot about wanting to get over Dongwook instead

thankfully big Dongwook was nice enough to listen to your whole 'plan'

when he got up to get more drinks, you reached for your phone then started looking up Dongwook's number to call him

but of course drunk!you couldn't differentiate a phone call and a voice message

"heY IT'S ME! we haven't talked in aGES and I rEALLY missed you. uggh it's so hard to see you coz all I can think abouT is how much I like you... and about what you said in Danang!! also I think you should name your neW DOG APRO coz he's a good guy. not as good as you, YOU'RE GREAT!! please don't tell big Dongwook this pls....... anyHWO I'm just calling to tell you that I'm getting OVER YOU. tHAT'S RIGHT, I'M GETTING OVER YOU!! so we all can hang out like old days again- HEY!"

I guess you can tell that's when big Dongwook cut you off and told Dongwook to pick you up

OH that was not THE END

during the whole ride back, you still went on talking about what you're gonna do to get over him

when he was about to leave after dropping you off, you kept begging him to stay

like full on hugging his arm and whining about how you didn't want to be alone getting over him

Dongwook of course obliged to it coz this was the closest he got to spending more time with you even tho you weren't really in the right state of mind

and I mean he couldn't even say no coz you were whining so cutely

mans still whipped for you even when you're in this state

apart from that, he was really curious about what you said

like firstly, since WHEN did you start liking him

and secondly, WHAT did he even say in Danang??

did he say something that made you stay away? does Seongyong know something about this?? WAIT, was that what you and Seongyong were talking about when they said to tell him something?

so here he is, trying to ask you what you mean now that you're awake

"I didn't say that....." you were all confused when he asked

you're trying to scan through your memory but nothing's popping up and you're hoping that it won't be bad

but then again, nothing can be as bad as the cannot-be-named incident

when Dongwook started playing the voice message, that's when you know you fcked up

"omg Dongwook just ignore that please!"

"you said that you like me how I am supposed to ignore that?"

"WELL you had feelings for me first!"

"wait you know? you know that I, I had feelings for you?"

"yeah... you kinda told me when you were in Danang,"

"D-Danang?? was that what you and Seongyong were talking about yesterday?"

"yeah..."

did you just broke Dongwook?? he's been pacing back and forth throughout this convo

"Are you really over me?" he suddenly stopped in front of you

[cupidhaos]

What is Love? (48/?)

pairing: lee seokmin x reader

word count: 3975

warnings: mentions of death, blood, killing

genre: historical au, royal au, friends to lovers, slight fluff, major angst

a/n: my god i really went all out for this chapter LMAO ok listen i know this is rly long and stuff but pls bare wit me its a whole love story fit into one chapter this is basically what they had to read in the book in the last part so ya LOL

tales of the lonely cupid:

the beginning and the end: an unforgivable act

[ set in the goryeo dynasty ]

“seokmin - please formally introduce yourself.”

after hearing this, nine year old seokmin grimaces. he looks at the girl in front of him with a slight look of disgust.

“she’s the princess?” he asks, not realizing how rude his comment was. the girl in front of him gasps and narrows her eyes into a glare back at the boy.

the older man standing next to seokmin looks down at him, smacking the back of his head. seokmin winces at the hit and whines, grabbing the back of his head in pain.

“behave. or else.”

seokmin pouts at the comment as he begrudgingly obliges. bending his head - he formally bows down to the girl in front of him “lee seokmin. i am the new guard in training.” he grumpily introduces. the girl just continues to glare at him though.

“how are you gonna be a guard? you’re just a kid”

he rises from his positions to glare back at her. “how are you gonna be a princess then?! you’re the same age as me!”

the two kids continue to glare at each other as the adults standing next to them just laugh. “y/n, that wasn’t polite was it? the general chose him for a reason. besides, maybe it’ll be good to have someone else around who’s your age - don't you think?” the king tells the younger girl.

y/n huffs in frustration as she crosses her arms across her chest. “no! what good will that be?! i bet he doesn’t even know how to fight!”

the annoyance in seokmin slowly rises at the comment. seokmin tightens his fists angrily at his sides as the man standing next to him chuckles underneath his breath. “i understand your concern princess, but i can assure you that seokmin will be a fine guard in no time. as the leader and general of the -”

“okay! okay! i get it!” y/n interrupts, covering both of her ears with her hands. she glares once more at seokmin, as well as the general, before letting out a frustrated noise. turning around, she beings making her way back towards the palace.

both of the older men look at each other before letting out a laugh. the general looks down at seokmin who glares intensely at y/n’s back. “for your first order, go and follow the princess”

a noise of disbelief leaves seokmin’s mouth as the general just looks back at him with a raised eyebrow. seokmin stares at him for a while before letting a defeated sigh - shortly running after the princess moments later.

“stop following me!”

“stop yelling!”

“well then stop following me!”

in all honesty, he didn’t even want to leave the palace in the first place. yet for some reason, y/n was very insistent on checking the vendors out today. the only way that she’d be able to leave was if a guard was with her, and the only guard that would even remotely agree was -

“seokmin, don’t you think this clip looks pretty on me?”

thirteen year old y/n asks the young guard. seokmin just shrugs in response though as he leans against the vendor’s post. “i don’t know, you look the same as always”

frowning at the comment, y/n removes the clip from her hair. after placing it back down into the original display, she turns towards the same-aged guard. “pay attention to me! do your job”

seokmin frowns at this comment as he meets her eyes. y/n just pouts at him at him and seokmin sighs.

“what do you think i’m doing, princess? i’m obviously standing guard - i don’t have time to play as your silly consultant.” he explains to her. “why did you even want to go out today in the first place? you have plenty of hair clips back at the palace.”

y/n blushes at this comment and turns back quickly towards the vendor’s display. she mumbles something underneath her breath which causes seokmin’s eyebrows to furrow together.

“what was that?”

“i SAID… prince jisoo will be visiting us soon and i wanted to look good”

the guard’s eyes widen at her words.

‘prince jisoo? prince jisoo?! why was she trying to look good for him!’

the feeling of jealousy rises inside of him and a look of disgusts covers his features as he watches the blush on y/n’s face spread. a small smile plays on her lips and seokmin just huffs.

“ha! and you think a clip will make you pretty?” he asks with a loudly obnoxious laugh. the smile on y/n’s face quickly vanishes and is replaced with a deathly glare as she looks towards him.

“you have no manners! you’re so rude! i want another guard!” y/n begins with a string of complaints as she hits his arm. seokmin rolls his eyes with a huff before standing up properly. she continues hitting him as well as the continuous line of insults as seokmin walks around her.

her eyes are are shut as she angrily hits his back, but is stopped once she feels something clip onto her hair. her eyes immediately stares into seokmin’s once she opens them. a light blush covers seokmin’s cheeks as he brings his hand down from her hair.

“wear the sunflower clip - it suits you the best.” he explains, quickly diverting his eyes away from hers. y/n slowly reaches up to gently touch the clip - the blush on her face creeping up slowly.

“well we got your clip - lets go back already.” seokmin huffs, walking past her as he begins his path back towards the palace. y/n shakes herself out of her thoughts before quickly paying and thanking the vendor. she scrambles to catch up with seokmin who just continues to walk ahead of her.

y/n looks at him with a smile and he doesn’t even dare to turn his head. “what is it?” he asks after a couple moments, a hint of embarrassment in his wavering tone.

“did you pick this because you think it looks pretty on me?” she lightly teases.

seokmin scoffs at the question despite his ears visibly turning red “yeah right! i picked it because yellow is bright and irritating to look at just like you!” he huffs. the death glare that was on y/n’s face earlier appears as she glares at the young boy.

“whatever! … but do you really think prince jisoo will like it though?”

“well maybe if he’s into ugly girls!”

“take that back!”

“seokmin, did you hear? we’re getting two new guards today.” sixteen year old y/n asks the guard in a hushed town as she trails behind him. seokmin just nods as he continues to walk across the courtyard with a straight face “of course i did - why wouldn’t i?”

y/n’s lips turn into a pout as she continued to follow him despite his passive demeanor “why didn’t you tell me then? i had to find out from the general you know”

seokmin just shrugs as he just walks towards the training field “i didn’t realize you wanted to know so badly since you’ve been so busy trying to win over prince wonwoo” he comments grumpily.

“seokmin!” y/n hisses out in embarrassment. seokmin just ignores her though as he watches the other guards train the two newest recruits. y/n grabs onto his sleeve, trying to gain his attention as he continues to watch over the field.

“lee chan! vernon chwe! come here.” he calls out. two young boys look up from where they were training before scrambling over towards seokmin. y/n stands slightly behind seokmin as she grabs onto his arm, peering over curiously at the two unfamiliar faces. the young guards in training bow curtly to them as they introduce themselves.

“hello! good afternoon your majesty! i am lee chan! i am currently the youngest and one of the news guards in training! i will do my best to protect you your highest majesty!” the younger of the two, lee chan, greets. y/n gives him a sheepish smile at his introduction “you don’t have to call me majesty or anything like that… y/n is fine... really…”

chan looks up at her with an incredulous look on his face as if she just threatened him. he shakes his head at the comment “i could never say something so disrespectful!”

y/n was about to say something else before the other boy next to chan begins to speak “i am vernon chwe. i’ll do my best and i look forward to working alongside with you princess y/n.”

as the two boys stand back up, y/n takes a good look at their faces. the expression on chan’s face was filled with determination while vernon’s face was stoic and serious. opening up her mouth to make a comment, it was now seokmin’s turn to cut her off.

“y/n. these are the two newest guards. see, now you’ve met them. you two are dismissed.” seokmin explains as he waves the two of them off. they nod curtly at the pair before running back towards the training field.

“i wasn’t done talking” y/n scowls which cause seokmin to shrug in response.

“they’re busy boys. besides - i bet you just wanted to stare at their faces a bit longer”

the comment causes y/n to lightly hit seokmin’s arm, making the taller boy laugh at her. her face turns red, and seokmin wasn’t quite sure if it was out of frustration or embarrassment. its silent between the two of them as they continued to watch the other guards in training. y/n was the first one to break the silence.

“how did the two of them end up becoming guards?” y/n asks curiously as she looks at seokmin for an answer he turns his head at the question with a quirked up eyebrow. he then turns back towards the field with a bittersweet smile on his face.

“i mean it wasn’t like the two of them had a choice really. from what i heard their parents had died from an attack from another kingdom and they had ended up becoming orphans. it’s not that uncommon really, nearly all of the guards are put in a training class to see who’d survive before becoming part of the royal guard. it looks as if these are the two that passed this year.”

a grim expression falls on y/n’s face as seokmin explains what the guards had to go through. a shocked look fills her face though as another thought popped into her head.

“seokmin - does that mean that you had to go through that also?” she asks, her tone filled with worry and concern. seokmin just smiles at her though as he shakes his head “no - my situation was a lot different. the general took me in personally since he had known my parents.”

y/n’s shoulders relax once seokmin had explained his situation. annoyance filled her up quickly though once seokmin had decided to open his mouth again.

“why? were you worried about me princess?”

seokmin laughs as he then turns to walk away from her. he continues laughing at the thought even once he had made it to the corridor. it was shortly cut off though once he felt a hand grab onto his sleeve. y/n turns him around which causes to back himself up against the wall in shock.

“of course i worry about you! i care about you! i love you! do you think that i don’t?” she asks him, disbelief laced in her tone. seokmin stares down at y/n with wide eyes, surprised at the sudden question. his expression softened though as he reached up to lightly pat her head.

“i didn’t mean it like that y/n - i apologize if you thought i did. i care a lot about you also” he tells her, which seemed to calm the young girl down.

“i bet you that i love you more than you love me”

“ha! yeah right! it’s my job to protect you y/n. theres absolutely no way you could ever prove that.”

“- and in order to keep peace between the western and the eastern nation, i propose to arrange a marriage between prince mingyu and princess y/n.”

eighteen year old y/n’s eyes widen as she holds back a gasp once she heard what the royal advisor of the eastern kingdom had suggested. her hand covered her mouth in shock as she listened in on their meeting, standing outside of the room that they were in.

she knew that something was off when the eastern kingdom had decided to visit suddenly. they’ve never been on good terms with their nation and had been constantly at war with each other. she had never quite gotten along on terms with prince mingyu in the first place, so to hear that she may have to marry him was something that was just not possible. especially since her heart already belonged with somebody else.

“i think that may be a great proposal.”

the princess couldn’t believe what she was hearing - her father out of all people, had agreed to marry her off to someone that she didn’t even really like. turning towards the door, she nearly interrupted their meeting - but was stopped when she felt a hand cover her mouth while another grabbed onto her wrist.

“i told you not to come here” a familiar voice whispered in her ear. y/n’s breath hitched and she felt her heart begin to race. seokmin turns her around, hand still covering her mouth as he stares at her with a serious look in his eyes. y/n’s eyes widened as seokmin leaned in close so she could hear him.

“you know, i won’t be there to help you out each time you get into trouble. they’re having a serious meeting that decides the fate of two nations right now - so i suggest that we take this conversation someplace else, okay?” he asks, to which y/n obediently nods in return. the two quickly leave the area without a sound.

“an arranged marriage, huh?” was all seokmin could come up with. y/n stares at him expectantly as she waits for his reaction. “yeah… what do you think?”

seokmin just raises an eyebrow at her and shrugs his shoulders. in all honesty he wasn’t sure what to think, he knew that there was never a chance that he would be the one to be with her - but he didn’t expect for it to come so soon.

“i mean, if it’s what will bring both the nations peace then -” “what! that’s it?!” y/n explodes, an upset look on her face as she stands up quickly to look at the royal guard. seokmin’s eyes widen at her sudden action as he places his hands up in defense “calm down! why are you so upset!”

y/n gives him a look of disbelief at the question “why aren’t you! so you’re just fine with me marrying prince mingyu then?!”

seokmin’s eyebrows furrow together angrily as it’s his turn to stand up. he grabs onto both of y/n’s arms as he looks right at her.

“of course i’m not fine with it! why would i be okay with seeing the woman i love marry somebody else!” seokmin exclaims, his words not sinking in until after he said it. y/n looks up at him with a shocked expression as seokmin was able to feel his heart stop.

“i - just forget that i said anything.” he lets go of her as he quickly turns around to leave. y/n snaps out of her shocked trance though once she realizes what was happening.

“seokmin wait” y/n calls out. she quickly runs towards him as she wraps her arms around his waist, desperately trying to stop him from leaving. “please - don’t go”

seokmin freezes from where he stood, his hand about to grab the door. he wasn’t able to comprehend what was happening.

“y/n -”

“i’m not going to marry mingyu. i won’t - i refuse to marry him! so please seokmin, don’t go.”

he couldn’t move for a while as he listened to her words. after a few moments, all he was able to muster up was an airy laugh. grabbing her hands from around his waist, he turns around to look at her. y/n looks back up at him with eyes filled with distressed. he wraps his arms around her as he pulled her into a warm embrace.

“okay, i won’t go. i’ll never leave your side.”

happiness always comes at a price.

after refusing to marry prince mingyu, the eastern kingdom became filled with rage. their attacks against the western nation had become more violent than ever. this behavior had lead to the eastern kingdom ambushing the palace.

“look out for one another. make sure no one from the eastern kingdom enters the main hall.” seokmin, the nineteen year old commander had ordered to the other guards as they head out towards the courtyard where eastern kingdom soldiers lined up.

at the forefront of it all, was the eastern kingdom’s royal advisor, han sung soo, who was placed next to prince mingyu who had a stern look on his face.

seokmin glares right back at them as the royal guards lined up protectively in front of the main hall of the palace. “leave now. you have no reason being here.”

“i’ve come to speak to the princess. where is she.”

the frown on seokmin’s face deepens at the comment that the prince had made. vernon steps up in front of seokmin as he raises his sword protectively. “he said to leave now.”

the eastern kingdom’s royal advisor just rolls his eyes as he signals one of the guards to attack. vernon had no time to process the attack against him as he was shoved out of the way. seokmin quickly draws out his sword as he protects vernon from getting hit. soon enough, both the eastern and the western soldiers are engaged in a battle.

unbeknownst to seokmin, the guard in front of him was merely just a ploy to distract him, and the real threat was creeping up behind him. he heard vernon call out to him, but by the time he had turned around - mingyu was already there.

as he was prepared to fully risk his life to protect the person he loved and cared for the most, something that seokmin wasn’t expecting had happened.

seokmin’s eyes widened along with mingyu’s as they both looked at y/n in shock. her back was turned to seokmin as he saw the sword pierce through y/n’s chest. mingyu quickly draws the sword out of her in shock and y/n’s body quickly fell to the ground.

seokmin quickly makes his way over to y/n, tears spilling out of his eyes as he holds her close to him. he presses his hand onto the wound to stop the bleeding, yet the blood continued to spill out no matter how hard he tried.

“you idiot! what are you doing out here! i told you to stay inside! it’s supposed to be my job to protect you!” seokmin yells out in frustration. y/n just shakes her head at him though as she grabs ahold onto his hand.

“i told you - i loved you more” y/n teases with a light laugh, her eyes slowly opening and closing. so many thoughts ran through seokmin’s mind as he held her close to him, trying his best to keep her alive.

he wasn’t able to do his job, he couldn’t protect her - in the end it was him who got her killed.

“don’t forget me - that’s my only wish. who knows, maybe you’ll find your way back to me in the next life.” was the last thing that he heard her say, he felt her place something in his hand as the tears continued to stream down his face.

the last thing he had saw before he was striked by the royal advisor’s sword - was a sunflower hair clip.

seokmin opens his eyes groggily before he sits up. after a few moments, he then recalled back his memories. from the eastern kingdom attacking, to holding the love of his life while they died in his arms from trying to protect him.

looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings, he wasn’t sure where exactly he was.

“so, you’ve finally woken up?”

quickly turning around, he finds a woman pouring tea into a cup. she was kneeling in front of a small table as she wore a long red robe as she asked the question. seokmin just scoffs at her as he goes to get up and leave.

“i wouldn’t do that if i were you. i mean - you’re technically dead.” she comments. seokmin stops in his tracks once he hears those words “... what?”

the mysterious woman just nods as she places the kettle down onto the tray. “right now, you’re in the space between the living and the dead. you’re well on your way into being reincarnated once you step through those doors.”

“why am i here? what do you want from me?” seokmin interrogates and the woman just tsks at him, gesturing for him to sit down to which he hesitantly complies.

“that girl’s dying wish. i’m the one to fulfill it. you’re the reason she died - am i right?”

seokmin tenses up at the question before nodding.

“yes. it’s my fault that she died - i was the one supposed to protect her but i -”

“you failed.”

he nods again.

“you were in love with her - right? yet you knew that the two of you weren’t supposed to be together. your fates aren’t intertwined like that. yet you tried to be together anyways. she was never meant to be with you.”

he felt his fists clench up at her words. he knew she was right, but it didn’t hurt any less to hear. his love was what got both of them killed. he was the reason she died.

the woman raises a finger and point towards him.

“you, lee seokmin, have went against fate. and for this, you will be punished.”

seokmin looks at her with a confused and worried expression on his face “what do you…”

“in order to fulfill y/n’s wish, along with your punishment, no matter how many lives you go through - you will have to remember each and every one. you’ll play the role of cupid in a way. your existence relies on others falling in love. but you’ll forever be lonely despite this.”

“what!”

“since this is a punishment for letting her die - if you fail, you’ll be forgotten.”

it’s quiet for a moment as seokmin tries to process all the information. all he could do was nod and accept the punishment. as he goes towards the door to his next life, he stops himself.

“will anyone be able to remember me? even if i fail?”

“only someone who truly loves you would be able to remember you. along with another cupid. but most cupids are reborn as cupid, or their love for someone that they knew in the past is so strong that they begin to regain memories of that life.”

seokmin slowly nods before thinking of one last question.

“is there any way for me to get rid of the punishment?”

the woman stops, pausing from taking a sip of her tea.

“the only way is if someone else takes on the role of the punishment for you. but if someone did that, everything from that lifetime would be reset. meaning you would have to restart all over again.”

and with that, seokmin hesitantly opens the door to his next life.

summary:

seokmin never expected to fall in love with a human - especially one that was supposed to be with somebody else

previous // next

masterlist

[syubub]

BTS SOULMATES WORST HABIT/ QUALITY

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes and only my interpretation of the cards. Do not take it as fact~

Anon, I love this very much!! Thank you for requesting it!

Seokjin

I got: 7 of wands rev., Take a fucking trip ( Go see some shit. Do some new things. Talk to people cooler than you.), Stop obsessing ( You are not the centre of the fucking universe)

So. This person tends to get overwhelmed easily and can be a bit of a workaholic at times.

This is someone who gets so so so focused their failures and faults and stuff that they kinda become blinded by that

I pulled a clarity and got 9 of swords.

This really is someone who spirals in anxiety when things aren't going well and likely snaps at the people around them.

Its absolutely unintended but when they get overwhelmed they kinda detatch from the world and they can only see as far as their nose.

Likely gets so in their head that they forget things about other people and it can come off as being very self-centered, cold, bitchy ect.

Yoongi

Lol

A lot of cards came out.

We have: 2 of cups, Drop the fucking ego. (Vulnerability is hot as fuck.), Ask a fucking expert. (Don't rely on your friends or the Internet. Listen to a damn professional.), Stop fucking whining. (No one wants to listen to that shit. Complaining makes you weak. You have the strength to change your world-so do it.), You need a good fucking cry. (Get the ugly cry on. Let that shit go. Your soul will thank you.)

They tend to romanticize life to the point that they think that something will come and change their life for them

But that isn't how shit works

They have mad issues with getting vulnerable and admitting that they are struggling or that they aren't happy where they are.

Emotionally constipated lol

Definitely has a hard time letting other people in bc of trust issues

They don't really outwardly emote often so it all builds up.

They think that independence means you can't look for guidance and thats bad

Very much ignoring the work they have to do to get to where they want to be but still pretending like they are getting closer to it

Ugh

They have a lot of shit to work out in the emotions department

They also seem to just have a general lack of grounding.

Hoseok

Oki

I got: 10 of swords rev., the tower, Stop talking. (Shut your mouth and listen.) Winning. (You got a good thing going. Don't ruin that shit.)

This is someone who can't keep their foot out their fucking mouth.

Dear god.

Its all good intentions but they say way more than they need too and it can ruin things for them.

They also can be too open.

They also resist change too much.

They fear self change.

They couldn't give a shit about external change but breaking old habits and old patterns is something they just don't like to do

So as a result they don't ever challenge their views internally.

This can leave them with a shaky foundation (putting off that tower moment) of old views and outdated information.

This can make them pretty damn judgmental at times.

They just need to let the tower moment happen and reasses all of their beliefs to figure out what they truly stand for and who they are, not just what has been forced in them (societal, parental. Even friends)

Also likely gullible

EMBRACE INNER CHANGE

Jesus, you're gonna give me a fuckin migraine

Its frustrating because THEY KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO BUT THEY JUST DON'T WANT TO

I feel bad for your guides, hobi's soulmate.

JUST DO IT

Namjoon

...

I got: Hanged man rev., 2 of swords, What the hell are you waiting for? Get that shit done. (If you were waiting for a sign-well, here it ucking is.), Don't believe every shitty thought you have. (Thoughts can be lying, sneaky bastards)

This is a procrastinator.

They tend to avoid things when they are faced with things that are unpleasant or even really good.

They are frustratingly doing nothing.

Big big big avoider.

STOP DOING THAT

Doesn't really want to do better.

They are content where they are for the simple reason that they don't want to experience discomfort by actively going after what they truly want in life

THIS DOESNT HELP ANYONE

They are also VERY passive when they are procrastinating

Jimin

Bring it.

We have: The magician, You are loved. (You are here for a reason. Don't fuck it up.), Have you eaten? (Your acting like a big ass baby. You need food in your belly. Either fucking taco.)

Well okay then.

I think this ties into jimins soulmate reading so I won't go too indepth about that part. You can read his soulmate reading here (x)

BUT

The thing that makes this their worst quality/ worst habit is because they have every tool and all of the want to help their situation but just don't?

And specifically another thing is that no matter how much someone tells this person that they love them, that they are important and that they matter, this person DOESN'T BELIEVE IT. The actively try to convince themselves otherwise.

Actively

On purpose

Because they don't know what else is a personality trait.

Again go read jimins soulmate read.

It's not that anyone blames them for this or anything but they actively reject help at times and get pissy about their situation.

You know what you need to do to fix your shit. Do it. Don't use it as your fucking personality.

You are more than that.

Dear god.

Theres a lot to say here.

Whatever situation it is, they are so stubborn and determined to do shit on their own and they have every resource but they are scared to lose a defining trait.

Ugh

I have a lot I want to say about this but I'll leave it here.

Taehyung

Oki oki

10 of wands, 2 of cups, you're giving too many fucks. (Give zero) and figure shit out on your own.

So this is someone how tends to overwork themselves.

They don't really know when to quit? They seem to be very determined but to their own detriment at times.

They also tend to carry the burden in any social relationship. People tend to use them?

They go along with it because they have a lot to offer and a lot to give and don't always have the boundaries to keep people from taking advantage of them.

They honestly just give too many fucks.

They value human connection so much that they will let themselves be a fucking doormat.

They feel very isolated even though they aren't (when I do the second soulmate read I think I'll have some more about this then)

Jungkook

Oki

We have: the tower, 7 of swords, eat your fucking vegetables. (Eat some shit made by mother nature), dont talk to anyone. Don't look at anyone. (You need some fucking time alone. And you know why)

First thing. I heard, "The diet of a child" and then "gamer girl" umm.

I have 2 things.

1. They take bad care of themselves when they go through a rough patch and the trend sneak away from everything (probably lie to get out of whatever obligations or do some sneaky shit) and eat fucking lunchables and kids cuisine microwave dinners with energy drinks exclusively

2. They tend to be ridiculously picky irl. Or just can't cook for shit so they only eat coffee pot Ramen.

Pull yourself together.

Their worst habit is withdrawing from everything when things get rough.

They don't take care of themselves and they drink Monster energy drinks like a scene kid from 2010.

That's gross.

Pls stop

[jooniez]

This is gonna sound so sappy but it's 4am and I'm emotional damn it I think a big reason why I don't mind the shift in bts music/english releases is that their music is personal to them and reflects what they're currently feeling. A lot of their older releases were dark bc they were having a really rough time (hate, self confidence issues, depression, anxiety, fear, identity crisis) and they were coping as best as they can. And if they're feeling happy rn, enough to make sillier, happier songs to spread the joy... well good for them, it makes me happy too :')

Yes I know, separate the art from the artist and all that, and yes, there's always room for constructive criticism, but that's how I feel about the whole thing. As long as they're happy, I'll support them.

that’s a really good point actually and now I’m going to be sappy with you 🥺 I feel like some armys forget about that a lot as well and I hate when ppl pull the ‘I miss the old bts’ because it’s like??? I’m sorry, bts aren’t teenagers anymore .. like they debuted eight years ago .. you realize how much people change in eight years??? especially when you’re moving from teenage years into twenties you’re doing so much growing and changing and for bts as artists of course that means their art and the music they make will change with them!! change isn’t always a bad thing and there’s a difference between experimenting and evolving compared to just making different music because you think it’ll sell better and I think it’s pretty obvious that in bts’s case it’s just them changing and evolving and that’s reflecting in their songs!! but true it’s also important to remember that art is separate from the artist. I mean bts released ly tear which is a dark concept during the time where they were really getting popular globally and sometimes they just do certain sounds because they want to and not necessarily because it’s how they’re feeling at the moment!! Idk my feelings on this whole english singles/korean songs debate is that armys really just need to let people have their own opinions pls!!!! stop policing others feelings and telling them how they should and shouldn’t react or how they need to act in order to be a “real fan”!! I’m really happy seeing bts happy as well and I think it’s great that they’re trying new sounds and challenging themselves by singing in all english but I also just don’t really like permission to dance and that’s okay!! I appreciate the positivity and the message but I just don’t care for the song itself. I mean I’m a fan of bts FOR bts obviously so yeah I would rather listen to lyrics they write rather than lyrics that random english speakers write. bts are incredible lyricists and producers so I would just prefer to hear a song made by them!! armys can dislike stuff bts do but still appreciate them as people and musicians yknow? as fans we aren’t obligated to like every single thing, in fact it’s perfectly normal to not love every single thing!!✨

[luckystarchild]

i saw the ask you answered about hiei in a relationship and was just in love with your response. it also got me dying to know, how do you think an older kurama would behave towards a pregnant s/o? (your yyh character interpretations are super spot-on imo, which is what inspired this question, but pls don't feel obligated to respond)

SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY! BUT I AM HERE NOW, AND I HAVE THOUGHTS!

So my answer depends largely on what stage of his life Kurama is in; not sure quite what “older” entails in someone who’s lived multiple lives (not your fault, I’m just very literal), so here goes all my theories!

Youko, pre-death

If he’s in a committed relationship, he’s super doting and protective. Definitely the type to put his s/o on display, basically. Give them the finest foods and clothes, have someone wait on them hand and foot—the works. I think he’d see the pregnancy as a sort of trophy? Like “Look at this beautiful creature; we’re going to make a gorgeous kid; all of you should be infinitely jealous of what I have.” He’s a thief, after all, covetous of treasure, and he guards his prizes fiercely indeed.

But there’s a dark side to this. It’s possible that once that child is born, he’ll forget about the parent and start doting exclusively on the kid, instead. I think there’s a certain narcissism present in pre-death Youko that would delight in raising a child in his image, and that he’d be quick to forget the parent of his child if he wasn’t already pretty deeply committed before the kid is born.

Kurama, living as a human

If there’s one thing Shiori’s influence instilled in Kurama, it’s empathy and selflessness. He’d be a much different kind of s/o in this stage of his life. He’d be very doting and nurturing once again, careful to give his s/o everything they could possibly want or need as they navigate a pregnancy, and he’d be cold and cruel to anyone who so much as looks at them wrong… but he’d also be almost reverent, in a sense? Like, honored this person is sharing that stage of their life with him, and humbled that they’d want to have a child with him? He knows what he used to be like, and he’s careful not to fall into old traps or habits with his new s/o. He’s careful to honor them the way the parent of his child should be honored, and his s/o will have a dedicated, lifelong partner as a result.

I hope this touched upon the timeline you were looking for! Thanks so much for asking about this. I hope this was OK!!

16/120 asks and counting

[skullrock]

dang! it did cut off haha :( i was just asking if you had any writing tips for newer writers? i really wanna start making fics in the st fandom, but everytime i sit down to write, i feel my writing becomes cringey lmfao. of course, you don't have to share any tips if you don't want to! i hope you have a super lovely day

I am. SO HONORED that you are asking LIL OLD ME for tips but here u go!!!

write what you want!!! I’m not sure if you’re planning on taking requests but pls know you’re under no obligation to fulfill requests you don’t like! It’s your time and energy baby!!

it helps for me to write a fic the whole way through and then go back and edit or rewrite. Sometimes I will write a fic or chapter like 2 times before finding the perfect words. It’ll take time but it’ll be worth it!

something I’ve noticed is that folks like to read from second person or third person rather than first person. It’s ultimately up to you, but keep perspective in mind!

to get the characters right when you’re writing (like, getting characterization down) it’s helpful to rewatch the show (or just clips!) and read other fics! also looking at headcanons others have for the character can help you hone-in on their personalities. Make some of your own, too!

The best thing to do is keep practicing!! I used to be heavily into writing when I was younger (I used to write a short story each week) and I think that’s helped me a lot. So if you’re new to writing, keep doing it! Don’t give up if it’s not “perfect” at first. You WILL find an audience and they WILL like it! Don’t give up!!!

It can also take a while to get engagement on your fics. Don’t be discouraged!!! The more you write, the more engagement you’ll have. Make sure you tag everything, too! That way folks who aren’t following you will see it.

Prompt lists are a world of help sometimes when you lack inspiration. They can really help you get ideas!!!

It will feel cringey at first, especially if you aren’t used to writing - but as you write, that feeling will go away. Keep at it!! Don’t be afraid to post! And if you write anything for Steve or Robin you can ABSOLUTELY tag me in it! If you need any more help my DMs are open!!!! Love u! Can’t wait to see what you create!