#but if im talented why doesn't any of my family show up for my performances anymore?

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

you know that clip from fantastic mr fox, the

"i think i have this thing where i need everybody to think im the greatest, the quote-unquote 'fantastic mr fox,' and if they arent completely knocked out and dazzled and kind of intimidated by me, then i don't feel good about myself."

thats how i feel, if you care.

[divorce]

clarifying post

listen, i'm sorry to shove gofundme links in everyone's face after not being around since 2016 -- i just wake up in a tent every day and think, "fuck!!"

let me just say, "i don't expect anyone from tumblr to donate to me" i keep reading posts with 30,000+ notes that are like, 'yeah yall its not much but lets just keep shifting the small amount of wealth that we have access to around cause that's all we really have #mutualaid" i don't care about that, that's not what i'm asking

all i need is for signal boost and someone to act as 'legitimate person' between me and the public, to help carry me to the top right now i'm only committed to raising my energy to 10-25% tops. i'm setting a low bar for myself. that is why my 'content', its all horse-shit, i literally take a nap most days when im on there cause no one's watching, so if it was the most impressive talent i have to showcase or bs it doesn't matter... i'm telling you, deaf ears, the void, audience, impressions, sorted, w/e i'm going up to 100% in the next 3 years i never thought i would be alive this long, as a celebration of my life & Art while in the prime of my life, in the seat of my consciousness, i owe it to myself to perform at my best ; i am now progressing towards making the best art of my life, it would be great

if while at my peak i wasn't still forced to pack up every 3-6 months and shuffle around unhoused, unwashed, unfed, with no protection, exposed to the elements, with no relatives, income, or connections.

i've had people successfully raise funds for me in the past; alone however i do not have any 'social media' so i cannot 'share it', i need 'you guys' ie someone from the internet to take over for me on the 'social media campaign :D yahoo!' side for me, i am an extreme introvert hikki that does ceremonial magick, religious prostrations, lots of bowing, who was neglected at birth ~I CANNOT ADVOCATE FOR MYSELF WORTH SHIT~

I have a house, let me tell you about My House... My Uncle Jim lives in My House, in 2006 when my grandma was sick and in hospice my uncle Jim snuck in and had her sign over the will to the family house which was supposed to go to me and my cousin, the next generation, but Jim took over the deed, and sat in My House, forcing 3 of his brothers out (they died, my dad included). I sat homeless in the streets & my amputee cousin has to work and rent, while Jim sits in My House smoking crack & meth and being a nazi pedophile making 'ball' jokes. Jim has a piece of paper that says "I bought this house for $1 from my mom :P", and I have no such paper, so I have no legal recourse to take back the home from the person who killed my father and my two favorite uncles and made my life worse... My mom also bought my a house 3 years ago. She 100% planned, visited, bought, a home, in front of me, and then said... "You are homeless", and that I "need to work". I think, after over a decade of being homeless, what would work best for me, for solving the problem of homelessness, for me, is I need a home. I think I need access to permenant stable housing. I've tried work, that's fine, whatever. I actually need access to a place to work from. so. My family is not there for me. The Internet I need you to be my family please and transfer me generational wealth so I can get on with my life please and stop being homeless immediately thank you. I'm sorry to lump this on the general internet, but you raised me more than my parents. I'm looking for my Chosen Family. please show up. Share the links and take over for me because after so long I cannot handle this stress.

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

Yeojin x Reader

I'm here for you, I got your back and I always will

Requested by : anon 🐱🐉🐽

When Yeojin told you she wanted to enter the company known as BlockBerry Creative, as her big sister, you felt proud but also worried about her choice. Worried that she'll be sad if she wasn't accepted.

Sadly it happened and Yeojin was disappointed of course, she started crying as soon as she got the news. You've been there in every difficulties of her life as a caring and loving big sister so obviously you were there for her this time too.

"Hey, stop crying baby, it was your first try it doesn't mean your not talented, you're super talented. Let's just try an other company."

"No I don't want to."

You sat next to her, enveloping her in your arms even if she had her head on her knees.

"What do you want to do then ?"

Yeojin always liked the fact that you were never forcing her to do anything, you were there for her but she was still the one choosing.

"I want to try again. I want to train more and go back to BBC to audition again and show them that I'm worth it."

You smiled, she'll always surprise you by how she was getting more motivated after every defeat.

"Should I call the dance teacher immediately ?"

You knew Yeojin would pick up at those words, she got her head off her knees and looked at you with loving eyes, your favourite ones.

"I love you so much Y/N !"

Yeojin's body crashed on yours, hugging you tightly and crying even more but from happiness this time.

"Come on stop crying big baby, I'm here for you, I got your back and I always will."

After training with her for a month, you knew she was ready to go audition for BBC again.

"You're ready ?"

"I can't wait to show them unnie."

You smiled, kissed her forehead and got to the audition room with her. There was no way you would let her audition without being there. As you entered the room a lot of people looked at you wondering what was doing someone like you here, but you didn't even spare them a glance. Your only concern was Yeojin and her wellbeing as usual.

"Name."

The pompous man was everything but nice, he was talking harshly without even giving a look at your sister. Yeojin didn't seem phased at all and you were proud of her for that but you had the urge to punch him in the face for talking like that to your sweet Yeojinnie.

"Im Yeojin."

"Go sit with the others."

Your jaw clenched at his lack of kindness and consideration, this time. Seeing you were about to speak your mind and not in a nice way, Yeojin grabbed your hand and pulled you to the bench before you could say things you'll regret.

Once sat, she played with your fingers, at first you thought it was only because she was trying to calm you but you finished by suspecting it might also be due to her own stress. She was rapidly called, so you gave her a kiss on the temple and a reassuring nood.

"Come on little sister, show them what talent is. And don't worry I'm here for you, I got your back.."

You didn't have to wait a long time for her to finish your anthem, she was used to it."

".. You always will."

"That's it, now go."

Yeojin looked so good while dancing and singing, her performance was as perfect as always. The judges were dumbfounded, the girl they saw a month ago was now at an all new level of dancing.

After a moment of debate between the three judges, one of them stood up.

"We won't take any more auditions in, we have the one we need, thank you."

Yeojin jumped in your arms. She did it, she was now part of BBC.

"Thanks Y/N, without you I couldn't have done it. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Before you knew, Yeojin had become an idol, and debuted in the girl group Loona with eleven fellow members. All of them becoming her unnies, which was, you had to admit really weird for you and sometimes even upsetting.

At first you had some sort of jealousy rising up when Yeojin would turn to someone else than you for advices. But now, you understood that it was nothing but beneficial for Yeojin, she now had twelve people as mental and physical supports.

So even though it took some time, you got close to the others girls, some more than others. You were actually pretty much a big family.

That's why today you were on an interview for the celebration of Family day, an interview that would be diffused on this year AAA concert's website. Yeojin invited you because she claimed it was Family Day so there was no way she won't spend this day with you, her family.

You didn't have to do much, you were off camera just being Yeojin's guest that came watch her and cheer her up when she'll get nervous.

You were proud of how she talked about your family, you knew your parents would be proud while watching this at home.

"So Yeojin, I believe you also have a sister, is that right ?"

When the interviewer asked this question Yeojin's couldn't restrain a glance in your direction, giving you a big smile.

"Yes I do have a big sister. We actually don't have the same dad but it doesn't matter, she is my everything. I love her with all my heart, she is actually here right now, keeping an eye on me as always."

Before you knew it, you were asked to be interviewed too with an other camera. Your face and silver hair were shown on a big screen in front of the girls.

Yeojin gave you a questioning look from her sit but you only answered with a shrug. You didn't know either what was happening, you just brushed it off and dusted off your leather jacket before someone asked you to introduce yourself to the camera.

"Hi, I'm Yeojin big sister Y/N."

"Nice to meet you Y/N, can we ask you what are your origins since you don't really look Korean ?"

"Oh I'm half Korean, our mom is Korean but my father is a foreigner."

"So what do you think about your sister being an idol ?"

"I'm really proud of her, I always knew she would do big things. As soon as she was born she was already an idol to me that's why I fell in love with her. She's my soulmate, we were meant to be sisters."

You looked right into Yeojin's eyes as you said that, already able to see tears coming. You chuckled at how cute she was. The girls were all very touched by what you were saying about your sister, they all could once again feel how much you cared for her.

You gave a wink to your secret girlfriend, telling her you weren't forgetting about her before getting ready to answer the next question. But before asking anymore question the interview said they had some footage of your childhood memories.

On the big screen was now projected the videos from Yeojin's birth, a video of you feeding her milk from a feeding bottle, her small figure in your arms and your eyes as connected as today. The next showed your first dance lessons together, followed by a few recent ones from your month of practice before she debuted.

You heard Yeojin's sobs, she couldn't restrain herself anymore, it was too much memories in one go for her. You wanted to go comfort and hug her but you saw the girls were already on it, most of them crying too.

"You seem to care a lot for your sister, would you say you'll die for her ?"

"I would do anything for her and for her well-being."

You didn't even had to think before answering this question, it was logical for you.

"Do you remember the video BBC asked you to make when Yeojin debuted that was filmed on Family Day ?"

"Yes, they asked me to give a cheerful message for Yeojin to watch when she would feel down and I said exactly the same thing. I said that I would do anything for her."

Yeojin looked at you confused, you never told her anything about this video neither did her company.

"It was supposed to be a surprise for later in her carrier." You explained.

"That's exact, but especially for Family Day BBC allowed us to show her. So Yeojin, do you want to know what your sister said in that video ?"

Of course Yeojin was eager to find out what you said to her company. The video started and we could see you on your motorcycle with your gloves on, you saw your girlfriend gasped at the sight of your badass look.

In the video you explained that you were actually part of a biker gang, involved in women and children protection against domestic violence and harassment.

BBC asked you if they could meet the bikers leader at the time and being like a foster dad for you he accepted to say few words.

"If something were to happen to her group or Yeojin herself, we will come and protect them with all our might. Y/N tells us all the ups and down of the group, we learned to treat them as her family, we love Loona, care about them and also support them."

You were proud to be able to show the girls that they had backups in any circumstances.

"Hey, Yeojin and Loona. I love you all, don't give up, keep working hard. You are now Yeojin's family, girls, so you're my family too. Happy family day, fighting!".

After the final message of the video, the screen turned off, letting you hear them cry even more.

"Come on girls no crying on Family Day."

You opened your arms for them, ending the interview because none of them could still answer any more question. They rushed to your arms, forming a giant group hug.

After some time, most of the girls went to the van, letting you with Yeojin still in your arms.

"Are you going to stay here all day baby ?"

"I should with all the things you said."

As she spoke you noticed how her breathing wasn't as stable as it should be.

"Yeojin are you alright ? Did you take your vitamins this morning ?"

Yeojin didn't answer, she only shook her head, her state getting even worse.

"Okay we're going to the hospital."

You lifted her up from the floor and held her in bridal style. You got to your bike rapidly.

"You need to hold me tight now Yeojinnie, you're going to be fine just hold me."

You rushed to the hospital, in few minutes you were already asking for a cardiologist. You were used to her heart attacks but it wasn't one of her usual one, and it scared you even more.

Since birth Yeojin had troubles with her weak heart but until now some pills did the trick, maybe the overdose of emotions of today exhausted her too much. You couldn't help but feel guilty.

The doctor came back announcing you that Yeojin fell asleep for exhaustion but that after the first exams her heart seemed to had became too weak to keep her alive for more than a few years, starting from now.

You realised that all that idol lifestyle with it's unstoppable rhythm was too much for Yeojin's physical state. She would die in a few years if she doesn't get an heart transplantation.

You weren't ready to lose your sister yet.

You enjoyed your time alone with her before the girls and your parents arrived, called by the doctor. Once they arrived you eclipsed just long enough to ask the cardiologist to do a test in order to know if you were a compatible donor.

Few weeks after you learned that you were the perfect donor thank's to an letter sent by the hospital.

"I can't believe you're going to do that."

Your head turned towards your girlfriend and her crossed arms on her chest.

"Vivi please not again.."

"How can you just say that like it's nothing ?! You're going to die Y/N !"

You sighed, since you told Kahei about your decision, she kept getting angry at you.

"I know that, thanks."

"So what ?! Are you not scared !?"

"Of course I'm scared !"

"Than what ? You just prefer dying rather than waiting for an actual heart donor ? You prefer abandoning me rather than live ?"

"Of course not. I care about you Kahei, I love you. But it's my sister, I'll do anything if it means she'll be safe and yes it includes dying if it's what it takes for her to live an happy and long life."

Vivi got silent.

"Please don't hate me Vivi, I wouldn't be able to live with that."

"I'm sorry.. I'm acting selfishly. I shouldn't be asking you to let your sister die for me."

You took a step forward to embrace her, letting your chin on the top of her head.

"I'm sorry that I'll let you alone, but we still have some time we should be enjoying our time together rather than arguing, don't you think ?"

She smiled weakly at you before kissing your cheek.

"You're right."

"So are you going to help me with the video ?"

"Sit on the couch, I'll go get the camera."

That day you filmed a video message for Yeojin, for when she'll wake up after the heart transplantation. You explained her why you were doing that, reminding her about that interview and what you said about sacrificing your own life for hers if you had to.

"Don't think that I left you, my heart is beating in your chest, and when you're going to be rehabilitated you will dance again and receive amazing awards for it as always.

The bikers will protect you and your sisters the way I used to, they gave me their words.

But remember I am still and always with you, I will dance next to you, and as long as my heart beats in your chest, I am alive and always there, looking through your eyes.

I'm not saying goodbye, this is a new beginning, our new beginning. I'm here for you, I got your back and I always will, remember ? I love you my dear and beloved Yeojin. "

Vivi stopped the recording and crashed in your arms, sitting on your lap. She was crying.

"Hey baby don't cry, let's go get food, I'm not dying today, it's only if Yeojin need me one day."

Hey, here is your request hope you'll like it. It's the longest scenario I wrote so far. As I told you I changed a few things hope you don't mind. I couldn't kill Y/N it was too hard 😐. Anyway give me feedback or else I'll come roast your last brain cells 😅😂😘 -Ael