#but if i don't i might just make someone new to fill that void

[fadewalking]

forever pissed that bioware decided to do the Elves like this and rob them of the ability to have meaningful faith.

in fact—

im more pissed about it than im willing to admit because let's not forget that the devs were bold enough to say they're never going to prove or disprove The Maker because they don't wanna take away faith like that. Oh but fuck the Elves, right? Fuck them and their heretical little sideblog of a faith, right? Fuck that so hard quite frankly, and look me in the eyes when i say this: I am an atheist.

a pretty hardcore one atp, at that. but man, what a literary shame. There are few things more compelling to me, as someone who was raised Catholic and went through an entire religious deconstruction that I'm still on a journey with, than exploring characters who have a strong sense of faith.

I built an entire OC with his religious beliefs as CENTRAL to his identity and VG has forced a deconstruction on him that I never wanted for him. And now I find myself missing a character who has such a strong sense of belief in a higher power. There are too few people in the rp scene and fandom at large who engage with faith in their characters and I think that is also a shame. And so little canonical information about any faiths other than their One True fucking God. Watch me give my atheist/agnostic OCs faith just out of SPITE.

[fortunemars]

Alright council i have SO MANY THOUGHTS but I started typing them in the tags before I realised how many I had... Good time to learn there's a tag cap... Anyway I'd love to world build on this a lot more bc this is interesting!!! This is so long that I have to page break it 😭😭 why am I like this

Okay tw under the page break: death, grief, a tiny bit of implied gore

So many things to explore with the different SKs and their reactions to discovering it, to the actual event of shad dying, to the aftermath where they'd be forced to give up their power and their immortality to end the pain of basically being suspended in the time between living and dying or deciding to keep the power as it slowly dwindles and destroys their bodies bit by bit. Torn to shreds because they were so full of greed. Living through every ounce of pain that came until it finally ended. A warrior to the end, no?

I'd love to see if I could write smthn with this concept. I'm thinking of all the options I'd have. Like how does laur find out? Through vylad (a comrade), before the fight? Or Gene in the middle of the battle, a shock that gives gene enough time to knock laurance down and remind him of everything he's gone through to get here, how much he's lost and how much hes had to give up for the ones he loves, how much he's been pushed to the side for the village's gain?

Would Laurance reconsider, turn on aph or Garroth? Would be hesitate to kill them, let gene do it instead and tell laurance it was his fault they died so brutally, that laurance could have done it himself if he wasn't so afraid? Or would he double down, get stronger, fight harder, and win? Why, because he thinks he's okay with dying for them? Or does he think it's the only way he can save them from every bad thing that laurance represents? Does he defeat Shad because he thinks it is the only way his soul could be redeemed by Irene, to be the end of her lost lover's reign of terror, to end the existence of these demonic bodies that were corrupted and twisted from their original forms?

Furthermore, how would aphmau and Garroth react? Would they find him before he fully died or would they find him after, slowly decaying with a peaceful smile stuck in his face? How would they tell the others, the village, the alliance? What would they say of him when he was gone, how would they celebrate him, how would they remember him? Would he be forgotten in the history books, another faceless admirer of the new Irene?

Some random other questions: would Laurance meet ungrith in some sort of limbo or would ungrith already be born again? Or would laurance's soul be devoured by the fates as a payment because of how long he kept it after he died? Maybe he becomes a ghost like Malachi, doomed to walk within the borders of Phoenix Drop unseen and unheard for years, decades, forever...

Would aphmau and Garroth grieve together or would they end up blaming each other, or themselves, for laurance's choice and for not knowing until it was too late? Would they ever know if he suffered as he died again? how long he was there dying, if it was cold and quiet in their absence or if the burning of the nether and screaming of the souls be the last thing he heard-- a demented lullaby to sooth his aching soul to rest...

Ahem as you can tell I think a lot about laurance... Please tell me any of this made sense...

Ps I literally can't fandom tag this other than aphmau and aphmau Minecraft diaries bc of HOW MANY THOUGHTS I HAD HELPPPPPP THERES STILL MORE BUT MY PHONE IS LAGGING SO HARD

This post is relating to the thoughts that @laurencezvahlslefteyebrow, @xerith-42 and I have been discussing. Somehow the brain rot has progressed to me completely losing my shit.

okayokayokay

We were talking about what would happen to Shadow Knights if Shad were defeated and he died. And I have sososo many thoughts.

But this ones a bit hard to explain.

Shad's presence is necessary for Shadow Knights to exist. His being is what keeps them in motion, so in turn, you'd think the Shadow Knights would die once Shad does.

I know @xerith-42 was thinking the difference would be between Premature SKs and Full ones. However, I think it's more dependent on how the SK was formed.

I think Shad's control is necessary for undead shadow knights. His spirit has to be around for Undead SKs to be "alive," seeing as he literally has to revive them. If Shad dies; and his spirit is gone, the undead shadow knights finally get to pass on. I think it would be more of a relief, even to those like Gene. Especially to those like Gene. He barely has any autonomy left, so once Shad is gone, he can finally think for himself, even if it's in some world beyond.

This is all different for transformed/living SKs. They are still alive, and still have life energy. Shad is only a part of them, not their entire being. So, once Shad is gone, they aren't shadow knights anymore. However, they aren't human. They are... something else. Something more empty. To be transformed, something is ripped from their soul, and replaced with something from Shad. So, when Shad is gone, that part of them is gone, and it's not replaced with anything.

So, Living SKs survive once Shad is gone, but they almost transform into something else. Something we haven't seen before. I'm not sure what that is yet. I really want opinions on what this would look like, especially in Laurance.

Council, your thoughts?

[coldilikeit]

Yandere Batfam x Camp half-blood (Neglected reader)

DC x Pjo

Part 11

______________________________

"Okay, I can't take it anymore, why the hell does everyone get gloomy every time we're at the manor? Everyone seems fine at duty?" Duke places his cutlery down, his tone nervous yet determined to find out what's wrong with his family

He noticed.

Of course he did, after he lost his whole life, he was given to Bruce, and he loved them, they loved him too, they were kind, understanding, and they were all he needed after everything

That wasn't the same for them, They were empty, only rare moments where they relish in happy moments

Did he ruin it? Did he do something? Or was the feeling of never truly being accepted is just because he's new? Does a certain test have to happen?

Worst part, Duke can't even complain, they showered him with love, and he tried too, he plans activities, though they always comply it doesn't help, he feels as if there's this void he can't seem to fill

What can he do to make his family well?

Is this because of that child?

(Name) Wayne?

He couldn't meet (Name), for they were already gone, when he first met Batman, when he first met the family, he didn't see anything wrong, no grieving, he thought it was odd, but it has been a year, no... Bruce would never forget a child, let alone his

Would he?

Then he saw, Duke thought he would try to make his family feel better, by asking questions about (Name), maybe recalling happy memories about that child would cheer them up

But they couldn't speak, Tim who is usually chatty would quiet down and keep to himself, Steph who would never make Duke feel lonely stepped away when asked

He saw no pictures, he heard no stories, He noticed no child.

His family, his new family couldn't have neglected and god forbid forgot a child?

The same one who took him in?

The same one he found peace with?

He knew the answer was right In front of him, Bruce often, though he cares about his kids, Duke knows Bruce is more of Batman than Bruce, And Batman loves his duty more than his kids

He knew the entire family put each other on second, Dick with the titans, Tim with young justice, Oracle with Birds of prey, this family puts family on second, but it doesn't mean they don't care

It sometimes makes Duke wonder if he'll find people that will push him to put the Wayne's second

Could it be, that everyone was so engrossed in their own lives, in their duty, their second make shift family, that they forgot about the first? that they forgot someone needed them, (Name) needed them

He knows they failed, and he's scared they might fail him too

Duke inhales and exhales, his eyes straight to Bruce "How long are you going to let your guilt eat you? You made a choice to pick your duty over your kid, so stand by it" he says

Duke knows they hurt someone, The Waynes hurt someone very vulnerable, but he can't bring himself to hate his family, they're the only one he has

Duke can't wait for the time he meets another family, maybe then he can let go of the Waynes

______________________________

"oh fuck we are so in trouble" you yell as a bunch of hippocampi swim further and further away from the camp

The harpies screech, and Mr. D- looks disappointed, as he's being held back by Hermes, you begin to think what would happen if Hermes lets go of his grip on Mr. D's arm

Percy shuts his eyes tight as he hugs his hippocampus "Thank you dad..." He whispered

Poseidon sending the hippocampi meant his father believed in him, that his father believed that he should be the one to save camp

And it made Percy believe he was enough, that he was strong

Despite the negligence Percy and the rest of the camp suffered, small moments that make the Gods show they care is enough for them

It made you wonder if your father had done the same, if he ignores you for months but pops in to check on you from time to time

Would you have stayed?

Would that have been enough for you?

Seeing as you hold on to the fact Aphrodite called you her favorite, you fear that you would have

______________________________

Duke knows the people he loves did something wrong, but because he loves them he can't bring himself to hate them, he waits to love another person more than he loves his family to leave

@ghostdoodlen @ratchetprime211 @delias-stuff @sadslasher13 @ellaprime7 @wpdarlingpan @mountvesuvu @chinxinsomnia @nathaly36 @vanessa-boo @bat1212 @ceramic-raven @sweetconnoisseurgardener @dhanyasri @bella-wolf100 @shortnsweetsposts @roseapov @d3sperate-enuf @d3kstar

[wileys-russo]

filling the void (3) II a.putellas x sister!reader

prequel one two

since you all wanted to be hurt so bad here is more angst! and for the sake of the broken and left behind younger sibling support club, a little comfort and some steps forward too - song i listened to when writing was we might be dead by tomorrow by Soko! filling the void (3) II a.putellas x sister!reader

after your outburst it worried eli to watch you retract into yourself, and for an entire week bar going to work you hardly left your room.

something out of character for someone like yourself who since your sisters decided they didn't want to spend time with you anymore, had thrown yourself head first into social activities with people who did.

you still saw your friends at work and when they drove you home or picked you up for a shift, but you had a variety of excuses to avoid the dinners or hang outs you were invited to outside of that, alarming not only eli but also your friends now.

your friends had all of course been filled in on the discourse of your apparent abandonment, having assured you time and time again that it wasn't your fault.

they spent time affirming to you that it was just an unfortunate side affect of the large age gap which wasn't something you had any control over. they all did their best to make you feel supported in your emotions whilst also encouraging you not give up on the relationship with your sisters entirely.

something that probably would have benefited both alexia and alba to know, at first feeling sorry for themselves after your outburst. this was then channeled into a disapproval for these new older friends you kept close.

guards went up from both of your sisters about how these strangers were trying to replace their space in your life, they were your older sisters not these new girls hanging around.

eli had all but banned alba and alexia from coming over throughout the week following your explosion at them, warning you needed space and time and that the more they pushed you the further away you'd pull, case in point your outburst in the first place which had spawned from both of them going at you too hard and too fast.

but when the weekend rolled around and still you made no move to leave the comfort of your bedroom or the family home eli decided maybe it was time she step in a little, unable to see any change in your antisocial behaviour unless she offered a somewhat forceful helping hand.

"hija." you looked up from a book your head was buried in with a raised eyebrow. "i am going to watch alexia's game soon." eli started as you noted she was dressed in a barcelona jersey with alexias name and number proudly on the back.

"okay." you nodded with a small frown of suspicion, unsure why she was really telling you this and sensing maybe there was more to it.

"you should come with me." the woman continued encouragingly with a warm smile. "are you asking me or telling me mami?" you questioned with a sigh making the older woman chuckle.

"telling. you have not left the house all week nena and i am worried about you." her voice softened the last few words as you sighed. "mami i'm fine! i am going to see my friends tomorrow night." you promised as she hummed.

"really? that is good then." eli smiled happily as you hummed. "sí, they said if i did not come willingly they would break in here and kidnap me, so i didn't really have a choice." you sighed making your mami chuckle.

"bien. now get dressed we leave in ten minutes!" eli clapped as you made a face. "wait i still have to come?" you asked with a small groan as she nodded. "sí, i was telling not asking." the woman smiled as you groaned again but snapped your book shut.

and sure enough ten minutes later you were following her out the door albeit begrudgingly, your airpods confiscated the moment you tried to put them in, deflating even further as you slid into the car.

"don't look so miserable fresa, watching one football match will not kill you." eli chuckled throwing the car into reverse as you sighed dramatically. "i could only dream of being so lucky." you mumbled sliding on a pair of sunglasses.

"why are we here?" you questioned a little anxiously as you recognized the street she turned down a little while later. "picking up your hermana, she is also coming." eli spoke with a slight air of caution, glancing to you as you frowned clearly a little lost in your thoughts.

"mi hija i know your sisters have really hurt you i am not dismissing that, and i will not push you any further then you are ready to when it comes to letting them fix it. but you are all still my daughters and i enjoy spending time with all of you, together." eli tried to put it as gently as she could as you sighed but nodded none the less.

when you didn't say anything further eli didn't prompt you to do so, waving at alba who locked up her place behind her and made her way to the car, surprise flickering clearly across her face seeing you sat in the front seat.

"hola mami." your sister slid into the back, leaning forward and kissing eli's cheek, contemplating for a brief second whether to greet you in the same way but thinking better of it and settling back in her seat.

"hi fr-hermana." alba was quick to catch herself, eli flashing her a small smile through the rear view mirror as you hummed and mumbled back a greeting, gaze trained out the window.

you zoned out of the conversation which followed the duration of the drive to the stadium, alba trying a couple of times to include you but when she only received one word replies she recognized that was likely doing more harm than good and ceased her efforts.

you stuck out a little once you all arrived, finding your seats in the friends and family section and you were one of the only spectators sat without a jersey on.

you of course had more than enough to choose from. as you grew up alexia had gifted you with countless jerseys both for spain and barcelona.

some she'd played in during important games and wanted you to have over anyone else, and some were just spares, getting most of your immediate family members the latest kits as soon as they dropped.

but when you'd stopped bothering to go to her games you had assumed this ceased. but unbeknownst to you alexia had a whole horde of jerseys at her home for you, but at her own fault barely having spent much time with you had disallowed her to be able to gift them to you.

so even though you could have easily worn a barcelona jersey, you were still upset with both of your sisters. so to wear alexia's name and number on your back felt a little too close to home for the time being which eli had respected enough not to bring up when she'd noticed.

you'd managed to busy yourself with your phone for a good half an hour, sat on one side of your mami as alba sat on the other, the two engaged in their own conversation that your anti social behaviour prompted you not be involved in.

but everything changed when eli stood to use the bathroom before kick off, alba then taking it upon herself to slide across one seat now sat right beside you causing a small sigh to drop from your lips.

"hermana." alba started gently and you recognised where she'd be angling this conversation from the soft tone of her voice.

"alba por favor i really do not want to talk about the other night, i do not even want to be here." you exhaled honestly, watching the warm ups on the pitch and avoiding her eyes.

"then why did you come?" your sister asked curiously, propping her arm over the back of her chair to rest her head on her fist. "mami made me." you grumbled in annoyance crossing your arms across your chest with a frown.

"so you don't have a curfew and go out at all hours of the night doing whatever you want with her permission but mami can still make you come to ale's games?" alba spoke as your head whipped around to snap at her though seeing the teasing smile on her face you realized she wasn't serious.

"sí." a small smile crept onto your lips which disappeared quickly. "saw that." alba commented quietly, turning her eyes back to the pitch as yours rolled.

thankfully before you were subjected to anymore small talk eli returned, but to your dismay alba didn't move seats and instead was now sat still beside you as eli sat on her other side.

when warm ups finished alexia's eyes drifted to the crowd, spotting olga sat with a few friends and waving before looking for her family. she spotted eli with a grin, waving again as alba did the same and for a moment alexia's eyes glanced over you without a second thought.

but then they snapped right back and widened in shock, not having seen you at a game for a long time now she hadn't even realised the figure sat beside alba was you.

"mami made her come!" alba mouthed giving the captain a subtle thumbs up as you missed the entire thing, attention focused on your phone.

catching eli's eye next alexia mouthed a thank you as the older woman smiled and gave a curt nod, alexia hurrying off to follow after the team to the change room.

upset with her or not and no matter how long it had been since you were at estadi johan cruyff there was no denying your sister was a force to be reckoned with on the football pitch, and she was enigmatic to watch play.

just before she was subbed off in the second half alexia lined up near the goal when caro stepped up to take the corner, delivering the ball in perfectly for your sisters head to knock it into the back of the net.

you looked around as the crowd errupted, chanting alexia's name as you of course clapped her goal though without quite as much enthusiasm as those around you.

you watched your sister turn toward where the three of you were sat and make a weird signal with her hands, blowing a kiss at your mami before racing back for kick off.

"you saw that, sí?" alba nudged you with a grin as you gave her an odd look. "qué?" you questioned a little confused as to what you were supposed to have been looking at.

"ale's celebration. E, A, F." alba recreated it with her own hands as the strange look didn't drop from your face and your older sister rolled her eyes.

"e-" she pointed at eli beside her. "-a-" she pointed at herself. "-f." she pointed to you as it clicked. "oh." you mumbled, dropping your sunglasses down over your eyes and remaining quiet for the duration of the match.

"can i go wait at the car?" you asked hopefully, glancing to eli as the stadium had now mostly cleared and the girls friends and families were making their way down to the pitch to greet the team on their six to nil win.

"no, stay where i can see you please hija there are a lot of people around still. i think you should come say hi to your hermana, but i will not push you." eli squeezed your shoulder with a gentle smile as you nodded, staying in your seat as she headed down to the barrier where alexia was already speaking with olga and alba.

you pulled your knees up to your chest and sighed, doom scrolling through your social media's to try and pass time as you attempted to ignore the internal battle your mind was having whether to go greet your sister or not.

"well well well, hola diablillo." you jumped a little in shock as a new body dropped down into the seat beside you, sunglasses snatched from your face and placed onto her own as you couldn't help but grin.

"you are so annoying maría give them back!" you laughed reaching for them as she clicked her tongue and pushed your hand away each time you reached to take them back.

"no i think i will keep them, they look better on me anyway no?" mapi teased before pulling you into a hug. "it has been some time since we've seen you here diablillo." mapi's voice was a little softer now and you weren't sure if alexia had filled her in at all on what had happened lately.

"sí, i have been busy." you shrugged dismissively making mapi chuckle. "ohh because you are so grown up now, just a little worker girl hm? too grown up to slum it with your sisters friends at a football match." mapi teased pinching and pulling at your cheeks playfully.

as you caught up with the older girl who seemed in no rush to go greet the rest of her teammates you were too occupied to feel alexia's eyes where she watched on from the barrier.

eyebrows furrowing and a strange feeling twisting in her stomach at the way you easily conversed with her best friend, rough housing around with her and laughing, just like how you used to with alexia.

"amor." olga's hand caught her wrist as she jumped the barrier to head up toward you, giving her girlfriend a slight look of warning as alexia tugged her hand away.

"i am just going to say hi." alexia promised as olga still looked unsure but nodded, turning around as someone called her name and alexia headed off up into the stands.

"you know diablillo you are nearly old enough for some of these of your own, maybe you come over and i will bust out my gun sí?" mapi grinned wolfishly, showing you a few of her new tattoos.

your eyes lit up in awe as they traced the deep inkings which wrapped around the older girls limbs, the exact same way they had as a child when you first laid eyes on her.

"i don't know how our mami would feel about that maría, stop being a bad influence." alexia's tone was teasing but she didn't miss the way your entire body seemed to tense at her arrival, mapi grinning up at her best friend none the less.

"me? capitana i would never." mapi gasped, standing to her feet and messing up your hair before handing you back your sunglasses. "you call me and we can talk more about it. adios diablillo!" mapi addressed you now with a wink, messing up your hair before making her way down to where ingrid was waiting, the tall norweigan sending you a kind smile and a wave which you returned.

"hola." alexia recaptured your attention now, your body stiffening as she sat down beside you, your sister frowning a little as you leaned your body away from hers just slightly.

"did you enjoy the match?" alexia asked, cautious of her every word as you nodded. "sí, it was a good win." you acknowledged, resting your chin on your knee as your fingers drummed anxiously against your thigh.

"i am glad you came, i have missed seeing your face in the stands." alexia's next words sent a strange feeling through you. "you didn't even notice i stopped coming." your words came out before you could stop them, alexia deflating a little as still you refused to look at her.

"fresa-lo siento hermana." alexia was quick to correct, trying her best to remember snippets of what you said the other night. "i know i did not and i really really want to-" she couldn't even finish her sentence before you shot to your feet.

"i need to go to the bathroom." you were gone before alexia could blink, scrambling away like a startled deer as your sister sighed and tiredly dragged her hands down her face.

there was a soft touch to her shoulder and she glanced up to see her girlfriend looking down at her sympathetically. "no luck?" olga winced slightly as she sat down and alexia shook her head.

"i barely said two words and she was gone. she looked terrified, and of me!" alexia struggled to get out with another deep sigh as olga rubbed her back.

"we talked about this ale, slow. fresa needs time and i know you want to fix it cariño but you have to let her come to you, she needs to want to fix things." olga reminded softly as alexia nodded, kissing the girls cheek appreciatively before the two of them stood and made their way back down to the pitch.

your airpods finally returned to you they were quickly stuffed in your ears as you allowed alba the front seat and slipped into the back, swaying your head a little to the music bouncing around your head as eli drove home.

you were snapped back to attention as someone tapped your knee, pausing your music and pulling one of them out, alba having turned around from the front to smile at you as you were now stopped outside her house.

"would you want to get breakfast tomorrow?" your older sister asked careful not to come on a little too strong but it was hard not to miss the hopeful look in her eye.

"i have plans already." you declined as your sister nodded in understanding. "maybe another time then." she squeezed your knee quickly and kissed your mami's cheek goodbye, thanking her for driving before she was gone.

"are you going to get in the front nena or make me drive you home like a taxi?" eli caught your eye with raised brows making you grin, unbuckling yourself and moving to the front seat, your door closing and belt re-buckling before she drove off.

"i thought your friends were kidnapping you tomorrow night?" eli hinted subtly as you looked out the window and hummed. "they are." you confirmed with a small nod.

"do you have other breakfast plans then?" "no." you sighed, sensing some sort of lecture might follow.

"i'm not ready yet mami." you added on honestly, still trying to come to terms with it all and what you thought was best for you going forward now you had some time to process everything.

"fair enough fresa, take all the time you need. but know your hermana's do love you, very very much."

~

"this is nearly done, go choose something to watch." eli nodded as you moved off the stool you'd been sat on and headed toward the living room, clicking on the tv.

"something funny? a love story? action movie?" you called out as you flicked through the genre's. "mami do you have a pref-" you glanced toward her right as there was a loud clatter and your eyes widened.

"mami! estás bien?" you were by her side in an instant, the older woman clutching her chest and rapidly shaking her head as you panicked. "mierda!" you fumbled around in your pockets, pulling out your phone and calling for help.

you rattled off quickly what was happening, your anxiety sky rocketing as suddenly the older woman fell to the ground still clutching at her chest as the medical officer on the other end of the line calmly told you an ambulance was dispatched and talked you through what to do.

"mami? mami? mami!" you repeated, struggling to breathe yourself as suddenly the older womans eyes closed and she went limp and unresponsive. the operater encouraging you stay on the line and assuring the ambulance would be there any second now.

"i don't know if she's breathing!" you cried out, unsure how to check for a pulse as rapid knocks were heard at your door and you forced yourself away from eli's limp body, two paramedics barreling in the moment you unlocked the door.

the operator now hanging up a third paramedic gently assured you were doing all the right things and eli needed to go to hospital, promising you that she was still breathing as you nodded.

"is your papi here querida?" the paramedic asked softly as you watched them carefully load your mami onto a stretcher. "he's dead." you replied bluntly, panic peaking as the other two spoke so fast you couldn't understand but they were saying but you knew it was serious.

"venga, go get your shoes and you can ride with your mami in the ambulance." the older woman squeezed your shoulder with a kind smile, repeating the words and shaking you lightly when you remained rooted in spot watching them push the stretcher into the back of the ambulance.

your worry only continued when no one could really give you any answers, only repeating you would be at the hospital soon as they lowered an oxygen mask onto eli and spoke to one another in what felt like a second language over her head.

it was worse when you finally did arrive to the hospital, your mami wheeled off and out of sight as you panicked when you were informed you couldn't go with her and would need to sign it at the front desk and wait in emergency for further information.

"how old are you cariño?" the receptionist asked carefully when taking down your information. "seventeen." you replied, eyes straying every few seconds to the doors eli had been wheeled away into as if willing she would miraculously walk back out and all would be fine.

"you need to be over eighteen to be an emergency contact and sign the paperworker for your mami. is there anyone else who could come?" the lady asked as you sighed but nodded, knowing exactly who you needed to call as you excused yourself and pulled out your phone.

"alexia? algo malo sucedió, i need you."

~

alexia thanked the gods that she wasn't caught by police as she flew down the streets of barcelona going easily double the speed limit, barely saying two words to olga before she had her keys in hand and was sprinting out the door already on the phone to alba.

finding a park she locked her car and raced across the lot, chest tightening as she stepped into the emergency department, eyes scanning the waiting room before finally spotting you.

you'd always been shorter than her but sat on the chair in the waiting room drowned in a hoodie which was two sizes too big and staring off into space you looked positively tiny in alexia's mind.

you jolted and tensed up as arms were thrown around you, alexia noticing right away and letting go trying not to focus on how much it pained her that even in the current situation you couldn't hug her.

"you have to go fill in the admission paperwork at the front desk." you mumbled with a nod, refusing to even look her in the eye as you tucked your knees to your chest resting your chin on them.

spotting alba over your shoulder alexia caught her eye and stepped away toward the front desk leaving you with her, glancing repeatedly to the two of you every few seconds as she filled in the necessary documents.

"someone will be out later with more information." was the only answer she got when asking for an update on eli's condition, frustrated but knowing that now all you could all do was wait.

"hermanita what happened?" alexia crouched down in front of you as alba sat beside you, you shifted a little uncomfortably under the intensity of their stares but sighed.

"i don't know. mami was making dinner and everything was fine, i stepped away to find something for us to watch and i looked over when she dropped something and she was just grabbing at her chest-" you began to recount, your sisters hanging off your every word.

"-she couldn't speak she didn't even yell out or cry in pain or anything she was just silent but she looked terrified. then i called the ambulance and she fell down and her eyes closed and she went limp, i didn't know if she was breathing." you exhaled shakily and paused for a second before continuing.

"she didn't respond to anything i said or did she just laid there. and then the paramedics came and put her on a stretcher and we went in the ambulance and came here. then they wheeled her off back there and wouldn't tell me anything because i'm not eighteen." you puffed out air through your nose at that last part.

"they wouldn't tell me anything either, just said someone will be out with more information later." alexia sighed wearily, standing to her feet and sitting on your other side.

"oh fresa." alba started sympathetically, stretching an arm across your shoulders intending to draw you into her side but you shrugged her off. "please don't touch me." you muttered, your sisters sharing a concerned look over your head.

"hey nena we just-" alexia tried next, her hand which sat on your leg pushed away as you wordlessly stood and moved to a different row of chairs on the other side of the room sitting back down.

"just give her some space ale, she's clearly shaken up." alba stopped alexia where she stood to follow you. "even now she runs away like she's scared. mierda we're in the hospital!" alexia snapped as alba pulled her into a hug.

"she's not scared of you alexia she's just hurt, and we both know she has every right to be." alba reminded as the older girl exhaled and sunk back into her chair with a nod, both of them watching you cautiously as you seemed on another planet just looking off into space.

"segura?" around an hour later an official looking woman in scrubs and a clipboard called out, both of your sisters up and on their feet as you were quick to follow.

"daughters?" the woman clarified as you all nodded.

"your mami went into mild cardiac arrest, she's mostly stable but still out while we run some more tests to try and determine the cause. her heartbeat is quite irregular and she's having trouble breathing on her own so we've got her hooked up to a ventilator." the woman explained reading off her clipboard.

"can we see her?" alexia asked hopefully, deflating at the shake of head that followed. "she's in the coronary ward but she's being taken for some more tests soon. once we get the results of these initial ones she's just had someone will come speak to you, but all three of you don't need to be here." you frowned as that last sentence was clearly directed your way.

"gracias but we will all be staying." alexia stepped up protectively, the woman nodding before she stepped away and alexia rolled her eyes. "hey, have you eaten?" alba suddenly realised looking at you as you shook your head.

"vamos, the cafeteria should still be open." alba encouraged as you made no move to argue with her, tucking your hands into the pockets of your hoodie and nodding.

"go call olga. do you want a coffee?" alba checked as alexia nodded appreciatively, all three of you parting ways. you seemed lost in your own head as you arrived to the cafeteria, alba bumping you gently with her shoulder and nodding for you to pick something.

anxious and uptight you simply chose a sandwich, not really wanting to eat but knowing your sister well enough that if you didn't pick something she'd just pick for you.

"coffee?" alba offered as you shook your head, quickly paying for your sandwich before she could. "hey! i would have gotten that." your sister shoved you lightly as you shrugged, alba relieved when you didn't complain about the slight touch. "i have money." you replied dismissively, moving to take a seat while alba waited for their coffees.

it would seem you were hungrier than you realised as you polished off the sandwich in a few bites, finishing right as alba grabbed the coffees and you stood to follow her back to the waiting room, grateful she wasn't trying to push a conversation.

you took your seat again on the other side of the room to your sisters, missing the way their eyes raked over you with concern at how you stared blankly off into space, not a hint of emotion present in your features.

you of course were plagued with emotions, especially a growing anxiousness toward all the 'what ifs' which came with your mami's hospitalization and all the unknown details.

but determined to prove once and for all you weren't a baby anymore you'd bottled these feelings up, keeping them under lock and key in your own mind as you did your best not to let them show.

though as more time passed that anxiety grew and grew and grew and suddenly you couldn't seem to rid your brain of all the worse case scenarios racing around on repeat, sending your body into a sort of shock as you blocked out the world around you.

shaking your head and trying to zone back in you stood, needing a drink of some sorts and remembering having passed a vending machine on your way back from the cafeteria.

alexia watched you go with a small frown, alba having somehow fallen asleep in the hard chair next to her as the time was now nearing midnight and still they'd had no further news.

the overprotective older sister in her told her to call olga and have her come pick you up and take you to their home, though the slightly quieter but more rational side knew if she even suggested that it would only upset you and you'd refuse.

when a few minutes passed and you didn't return alexia grew a little worried, shaking a grumpy alba back awake and shoving half a cold coffee into her hand before following after you.

you glared at the vending machine in annoyance as again you tapped your phone to pay and punched in the numbers for the drink you wanted but it made no move to deliver it to you.

"vamos!" you shook it hoping that might help though to no avail as again nothing happened. trying another two times you were getting dangerously close to a breakdown as all of your bottled up emotions simmered on the surface and you gave the machine a hard kick.

finally the arm moved and grabbed the drink you wanted, but your eyes widened in disbelief as it seemed to die before it could drop into the awaiting chute, the entire machine going dark.

and that, that was what caused you to snap.

a string of curses left your mouth and hot tears welled up in the corner of your eyes as you kicked the machine over and over, missing alexia appear at the end of the hallway and race toward you.

"hey hey hey." you tensed as her arms grabbed your biceps and pulled you away, delivering one last hard kick to the machine before alexia had tugged you out of reach.

"get off!" you grunted though it came out as more of a choked up broken sob as alexia's heart dropped and despite the warning voice in the back of her head she refused to let go.

"alexia let go of me!" you cried out trying to pull away but your sister shook her head. "no." you weren't sure if it was the tone of her voice, your sheer exhaustion or the final overflow of the emotions which had been simmering for the last few hours but you gave in.

it was now alexia who tensed up in surprise as you suddenly turned in her arms and hugged her tightly, fists balling at her jumper as alexia relaxed and held you.

"está bien fresa, está bien. mami will be fine, everything will be fine." your sister cooed, hand rubbing small circles on your back as the other cradled your head which pressed into her shoulder.

a nurse walking past gave alexia a sympathetic smile which she returned, whispering assuring words in your ear and holding you tightly, no different than she would when you were upset and much younger.

after a few minutes you managed to calm yourself down a little, and realising who it was that was actively holding you had you pulling away and wiping your eyes with the corner of your sleeves.

"do you want to go for a walk?" alexia offered softly, and as much as the prospect of being alone with her wasn't ideal you really weren't up for returning to the silent stark white waiting room just yet so you nodded.

"wait." alexia held up a finger, glancing around to make sure no one was around before quite literally ramming her body shoulder first into the vending machine as your drink dropped down into the chute from the force.

"needed a footballers touch." your sister smiled handing it to you as you quietly thanked her. not really with any destination in mind the two of you started to wander, a comfortable distance between you as alexia ignored the urge to tuck you into her side like she would when you were younger.

"i do not think i have been in hospital this time of night since you broke your arm." alexia chanced a conversation, sending you a look which you met with a frown.

"i didn't break it alba broke it." you muttered with a slight huff causing a smile to curl onto your sisters lips at the memory.

you were eight years old and eli was working a night shift which left you in the care of both your older sisters for the evening.

showered and dinner had you'd all been watching a movie, dirty dancing, one you found incredibly boring and made a point to tell both your sisters this repeatedly throughout the entire film.

"he's strong!" you marveled as suddenly the main actor lifted his female counterpart into the air, holding her up easily and turning her around mid air. "pft thats easy!" alba dismissed with a scoff as you lifted your head from alexia's lap.

"you couldn't do it, chicken legs." you challenged as alba shot you a filthy glare which had you shrinking into your eldest sister who'd fallen asleep not long after the movie started, having trained twice today and gotten up early for a run.

"could too!" alba shot back as you shook your head. "could not." "could too!" "could not!" "could too!" "could not!"

"cállate por favor!" alexia interjected with a tired groan, eyes fluttering open and her hand moving to cover your mouth as you went to continue the argument.

"you are arguing with an eight year old?" alexia sighed at alba who rolled her eyes but ignored the question. "i could fresa. vamos, we will do it right now!" your middle sister stood and gestured for you to do the same as you wrenched alexia's hand off you.

"what are you both doing now? she should be in bed alba!"" alexia exhaled deeply, her own bed also calling her name. "bah! in a minute. go get a run up hermanita." alba ordered as you shrugged and jumped down from the couch.

"i do not even know what is happening and i know its a bad idea." alexia sighed rubbing her eyes with a shake of her head. "vale fresa, on my count!" alba encouraged readying herself as alexia watched on with a raised eyebrow.

"tres, dos, uno!" you sprinted on one, jumping as she grabbed you and indeed lifted you easily into the air. "muy bonito. the putellas hermanas everyone!" alexia's voice dripped with sarcasm as she clapped slowly with a roll of her eyes.

but what all three of you failed to miss was alba backing up dangerously close to the coffee table, alexia noticing just a millisecond too late.

"alba watch out for the-" the brunette started to warn before your sister made contact and tripped backwards. you hardly blinked then your body was dropping to the ground and a sickening crunch was heard.

"ay dios mio!" alba sat up and paled seeing your arm as you let out a scream, alexia dropping to her knees without a second thought and scooping you up. "get the car keys now!" she barked at alba who scrambled to her feet and raced off.

"hey hey hey fresa está bien, estás bien. don't cry nena don't cry!" alexia cooed, covering your eyes so you couldn't look down at your arm which was very clearly broken, your sobs muffled into her jumper as she sprinted out to the car, alba sliding into the drivers seat as alexia sat beside her still cradling you tightly in her arms.

"ale shouldn't she sit in the ba-" "drive alba! now!"

"she might have broke it but i'm the one who got in trouble for it!" alexia rolled her eyes with a small smile as you both turned around and headed back the way you came.

"i still was the worst off because it was my arm that was broken!" you reminded with a grunt. "hey you got a cast and jenni drew all over it, closest you got to having tattoos." alexia shrugged and you allowed yourself a small smile.

"and then you yelled at jenni and made her scribble over what she drew." you chuckled as alexia groaned. "because you were not going to school with detailed female anatomy on your arm." alexia sighed.

"it was educational!" "don't quote her! it was very inappropriate for an eight year old."

"that cast was so itchy it was the worst!" you sighed with a shake of your head. "then you threw a tantrum because it was white and not coloured." alexia teased lightly as you rolled your eyes.

"because liliana also broke her arm the week after and she got a red cast, and then everyone said she was faster than me." you frowned at the memory. "sí because red is the fastest colour?" alexia laughed beside you.

"obviously alexia, everybody knows that." you sighed as you both returned to the waiting room and at the tense atmosphere you clamped up again, falling silent and returning to your chair making your sister frown.

"anything?" alexia asked taking her own seat next to alba again. "she is done with tests for the night but still out of it, her breathing is better but her heart beat is still very irregular so they will monitor her closely." alba explained with a sigh, her eyes hovering over to you.

"anything?" her younger sister echoed the question back to alexia in regards to you now. "she had a slight meltdown but she didn't want to talk about it, got a hug out of her though and then we went for a walk and talked about when you broke her arm trying to do that stupid lift." alexia explained.

"and i proved i could do it!" alba defended as alexia gave her a side eye. "alba that is what you take from what i said?" the eldest putellas scoffed as alba shrugged, though before either girl could say anything the nurse from earlier reappeared and waved alexia over.

"you and your sisters should go home. you will not be able to see your mami until she is awake and more stable which will not be before tomorrow at least. she cannot afford anything to stress her out or affect her heart rate further until we have more answers on what caused the cardiac arrest." the nurse explained as alexia frowned but nodded.

"you are her emergency contact sí? we will call you once things change and you can all see your mami. but for now go home and rest, you cannot do anything else for her right now and she is in the best place being well looked after." the nurse encouraged before leaving again.

your eldest sister quickly filling alba in you were so zoned out you hadn't even seen her speak to the nurse, staring off into space as alexia took the seat beside you and bumped her shoulder into yours softly to gain your attention before filling you in.

"okay." you nodded quietly, glancing anxiously over your shoulder toward the doors where you'd last seen eli with a pained expression. "hey, they are right hermana there is nothing else we can do. you will come home with me and stay the night and we can go and see mami once she is awake." alexia's words had you shaking your head.

"its fine just take me home, i will be fine." you declined the offer firmly.

"i wasn't asking. you will stay with olga and i tonight and we can talk more about it tomorrow, its late and i think we all need some sleep. i will sleep better knowing you aren't in that house by yourself." alexia spoke softly but firmly, admittedly surprised when you gave in with a curt nod, making no move to argue.

"and you will call me as soon as you hear anything?" alba stressed as alexia sighed tiredly, unlocking her car for you to get into a little while later. "sí. as soon as i hear anything you will know!" alexia promised, drawing her younger sister into a hug before alba walked off to her own car and alexia slid into the drivers seat.

respecting that it didn't seem you were in any mood to talk alexia didn't try to make you, having already paid for her parking she slipped the ticket in and pulled out of the lot.

you watched the dimply lit streets of barcelona fly past in a blur, music filling the somewhat awkward tension in the car helping it to ease a little and before you knew it alexia was parking in the garage of her complex.

you exited the car and followed her into the elevator, still not a single word shared between either of you as your sister twirled her keys around on her finger and you both stepped out onto her floor.

alexia hadn't even turned the key in the door before it was swinging open, olga stood there with a sympathetic smile as you shuffled inside, wrapping your arms around yourself a little awkwardly as your sister kissed her girlfriend hello and closed the door.

"hermana do you want a shower? something to eat? drink?" alexia tried with a smile as you shook your head. "i'm tired." you hinted heavily, shifting from one foot to another and sending olga a small smile.

"vale, spare rooms all made up." alexia nodded behind you and with a quiet good night mumbled you were gone, door closing after you with a click as alexia seemed to deflate now you were no longer there.

"vamos mi amor, you look exhausted." olga encouraged softly, grabbing her girlfriends hand and alexia made no move to fight as she was pulled to her own bedroom, quickly changing and laying down in bed before filling olga in on everything.

"hey that sounds like some steps forward cariño? even just baby ones." the younger girl smiled softly as alexia hummed, the two finished speaking about eli and now moving onto you.

"and she came to your game, no?" olga continued as alexia shrugged. "because mami made her, and she'd rather talk to mapi than me." a slightly jealous pout curled onto her lips making her girlfriend chuckle and run a hand through her hair.

"she posted about going to the game? thats something." olga tried again as alexia gave her an odd look. "where? i did not see that." your sister frowned as olga grabbed her phone and clicked into instagram.

"see? shows she is not embarrassed to be at your game." olga showed your story as alexia's frown deepened and she was quick to grab her own phone from the nightstand.

"i don't see it?" your sister showed that your profile showed no story, comparing it side by side to olga's screen.

"amor what does this mean?" she pointed to the green trim around the edges of your story on olga's screen. "its on her close friends story." olga explained as alexia's eyes widened.

"she has a close friends story? why?" "a lot of people have them for privacy and stuff hermosa, especially teenagers." "privacy?" "sí, they might post stories that they do not want all their followers to be able to see so they have a close friends story where they can control who see's certain things." "and you....you are on her close friends." "sí, and lo siento mi amor but it looks like you are not."

"qué! i'm not going to show her stories to mami!" alexia scoffed as olga avoided her eyes. "why would she not want me on her close friends? i am a cool older sister!" alexia protested, clearly spiraling at this new information

"what? you want to say something, what?" alexia sat up a little and pressed her girlfriend who sighed. "querida. te quiero, mucho mucho mucho." olga started, grabbing alexia's hands in hers and kissing her knuckles.

"but you are...awkward ale. very very awkward!" olga winced as alexia's mouth formed a small o and she pulled her hands away. "no i am not! i play for barça, i go to fun events, i go to restaurants and bars and i travel and take nice photos. i take lots of photos of you all the time! i'm cool, i am!" alexia spiraled further as olga grabbed her hands again.

"you are thirty alexia, she is seventeen. i am sure its not personal! you are very cool amor, very cool." olga cooed in an attempt to soothe the blonde who scowled, crossing her arms and laying back down in bed.

"you are to your hermanita probably just...a little too old for her close friends story mi vida." "olga!"

~

you jolted upright in bed, body drenched in sweat and chest heaving as you struggled to catch your breath, tucking your knees up to your chest and rocking slightly with your eyes closed.

you hadn't had a nightmare in years but the one you'd just awoken from after the day you'd had meant your entire body was rigid and coiled with a cocktail of anxiety and dread.

being in your older sisters house in a bed and room that wasn't yours was not helping in the slightest. as your eyes adjusted to the darkness you kicked off the unfamiliar sheets which felt sticky and foreign against your skin.

managing to slow your breathing down a little you found your throat was dry, stripping off your hoodie and quietly leaving your room. a quick glance down the hall showing alexia's bedroom light was off you made a beeline for the kitchen.

you checked a few different cupboards before finally finding the glasses, doing your best to be quiet as you filled it with water and chugged it down, not hearing the soft footsteps which followed yor own.

"hermana?" you jumped a foot in the air and just caught the now empty glass by your fingertips as you nearly dropped it, grabbing at your chest and bending over a little as alexia stepped more into view.

"don't do that!" you warned in a harsh whisper, filling up the glass again and stepping aside as alexia grabbed her own glass and did the same. "lo siento. why are you up?" your sister asked with a concerned frown as you pointed to the glass in your hand and took a seat at the counter.

"did you have a nightmare? you only used to get up for water in the middle of the night when you had a bad dream." alexia asked softly once a few minutes passed and you hadn't made a move to return to your room.

you stayed silent as alexia leaned on the counter, not wanting to push you but watching the look of internal termoil clear on your face as your hands gripped the glass sat in front of you.

"if mami died i'd be all alone."

your words caught alexia off guard, a horrible sinking gut wrenching heart crushing feeling settling in her stomach as neither of you moved or spoke a word for at least a minute.

then once she seemed to snap out of the trance she'd been sent into she was rounding the counter, the thump of her glass against the counter bringing you back down to earth too and before you could take a breath there were hands either side of your face.

"no, no no no no. fresa you would never ever ever be alone. i would not let that happen no matter what i promise. i love you mi hermana, far too much to ever let you be alone. i would do anything for you!" alexia whispered out, holding your face firmly in your hands and her heart ached more seeing the tears pool in the corner of your eyes.

"then why did you stop trying to show me that? i have felt alone for the last year alexia! i felt like i have only had mami for the last year!" you could barely get your words out without your voice cracking, alexias stomach plummeting.

"because i am stupid and selfish and i saw you having friends and a life and i assumed you didn't need me around as much which was so wrong. i stopped checking in, i stopped making an effort and i hurt you. it is my biggest regret fresa, and not a day will go by where i will not wish i could change what has happened but i can't!" alexia's own eyes bore into yours filled with remorse.

"i know you are grown up now, but you will always be mi baby hermana. the same baby i held when you were born, watched learn how to talk and walk and whose hand i held when i walked you to school, who would steal my clothes or hide my boots so i didn't have to go to training because you would miss me and you couldn't come with me." alexia rambled, too far gone now to stop herself from word vomiting.

"the same baby who copied everything i did and snuck into my bed at night because you didn't like to sleep alone, who i would carry to the car when you fell asleep under the table at christmas dinner, who i tried to force to like football and accidentally knocked your front teeth out when i hit you in the face with the ball." alexia exhaled and finally stopped to take a breath before looking like she was going to continue.

"alexia." you sighed and pulled her hands away from your face.

"i know you and alba are trying, but it is really hard for me to see it as sincere when i tried for so long to tell you how i felt and neither of you listened." you spoke calmly, having swallowed the tears which wanted to burst forward.

"it is late and i am tired and it has been a really long night, i can't talk about this with you right now." you stood to your feet and went to leave, your sister grabbing your wrist gently as you paused.

"nena you would never be alone, vale? never." her lips ghosted your forehead but you were grateful she didn't pull you in for a hug, worried that would be the thing to tip you over the edge still actively swallowing back tears.

nodding at her words she let you go and the both of you returned back to your rooms though sleep didn't grace either you nor your older sister, both laying now wide awake and staring at the ceiling.

and alexia meant every word, she would fix this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

four

[elliewithcellie]

Lean On Me

summary: Steve needs someone to lean on, too

wc: 1.2k

cw: ANGST, Steve yells at you, curse words, you comfort Steve, gn!reader, let me know if I'm missing anything

a/n: first fic in a minute, and it's barely more than a blurb. I was inspired by a tiktok that said "if i don't see steve cry in season 5 i will riot" and i was like dude yes. I thought I would explore that a little but it turned more into just a hugfest. Either way, here it is.

It wasn’t until Steve dropped off the last of the kids that you noticed a slight change in his demeanor. You supposed he was quieter than usual, but the gang was so rowdy that it was hard for any of you to get a word in edge-wise. Otherwise, it was a meetup like any other. But now, with only the two of you left, Steve’s silence was astounding. Cicadas took silence’s place, chirping the last of their summer song. The streetlamp above flickered in rhythm, serving as the only light illuminating Steve’s solemn face. You dared to unstick your legs from the warm leather of the passenger seat, the sound disrupting his thoughts.

His eyes met yours and smiled, a strained effort in the lines of his face. His eyes were wide, searching for something, and you could tell he couldn’t find it in you.

“You all set?” he asked.

“I’m ready if you are.”

He nodded and pulled out into the road.

“I’m really glad we did this,” you said. “It’s always so good to see everyone again. It feels like home.”

He only hummed in response.

The tires treading over the road filled the voided conversation. Shadowed trees and homes remained your view from the window. You were scared that something happened, that something you did might have bothered him. You ventured to look at him again. His posture stayed upright and rigid, both hands on the wheel. His grip was tight, the tendons taking shape in his hold. His left foot bounced sporadically, and his chest rose and fell in deliberate breaths. And his eyes. His eyes raced frantically like he was reading, his eyebrows pinching together. He bit his bottom lip as if fighting something from getting through. There was something he was holding back. Something was wrong.

The car pulled up to your apartment complex. You opened the car door and paused to look back at Steve. His head was down, his eyebrows still furrowed.

“Steve?”

He looked up at you, a haze falling across his features, his eyes glassy, but the pained smile persisting.

“Would you like to come up? It’s still early, and I’ve been dying to make some cookies. I could use some help eating them all in one sitting.”

Steve chuckled to your surprise. He cleared his throat and nodded. “Sure.”

You both made your way up to your place, your heart racing with every bound up the stairs. You headed straight for the kitchen, and Steve followed you, opting for the stool by the counter.

You tried not to let Steve distract you. It was just premade dough, after all. But his energy filled the confines of your home, swallowing up your serenity and spitting out sorrow. It shook you. This wasn’t like him. This wasn’t him. You were desperate to help him, and it seemed cookies weren’t going to be enough.

“Steve?” you tried. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

You bit your lip. “It—it’s just that you’ve been really quiet today, and I’m just wondering if something happened or—”

“I told you. It’s nothing.” Steve’s breaths shortened, refusing to look at you.

“Are you sure? You know you can—”

“ENOUGH!” Steve jolted up from his chair. “If I wanted to talk, don’t you think I would have fucking talked by now? Jesus Christ!”

You flinched at his words. You were privy to his sarcastic, snide one-liners, but this was new.

Steve took a step back. His hands rattled at his sides, and his breaths shook with each exhale. His voice trembled as he spoke. “I’m sorry,” he said, taking another step back. “I shouldn’t—I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just tired. I—I should go.”

A million thoughts scrambled in your head. You didn’t know what to do. You wanted to comfort him, but he scared you. He already snapped at you once. Continuing to pry when he may need to cool off could be detrimental. But you needed him to know that he could trust you with whatever was bothering him. You decided to tread carefully.

“If you want to go,” you spoke softly, “you can go. But whatever it is you’re dealing with, whatever it is you’re holding onto, you don’t have to deal with it alone. If you don’t want my help, that’s fine. But tell me. I know you, Steve. I know when something’s wrong. So please don’t lie to me.”

Steve stood still. Every muscle in his body tensed, his eyes frantic, his breathing short and shallow. He bit the inside of his cheek as if in a last-ditch effort to fight his consuming thoughts. Then his posture changed. His shoulders sank, his lip trembled, and he looked away.

“I…I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”

And he cried. He wept in the entryway of your home, something you had never seen in your life. You rounded the kitchen counter and pulled Steve into your arms. He held you tight, his whole body shaking you. Tears soaked your shirt, but you didn’t care. Your hand found itself in his hair in an effort to soothe him.

Steve pushed out of your arms and wiped his now rouged face. “I’m sorry. This isn’t your job. I can handle this.”

“What? Not my job? Steve—”

“I gotta go.”

He turned to leave. You grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Bullshit, it’s not my job.” Your voice remained calm and kind. “You think that since you’re the self-proclaimed ‘babysitter,’ that no one’s supposed to have your back?”

“I’m supposed to be the tough one,” he said. “These kids have been through hell. They’re all counting on me to take care of them!”

“You’ve gone through hell, too! I know you have. Bottling it up is going to kill you.” You held his hands in yours and pulled him closer. “I know you’re tough. You’re the strongest person I know. But bearing the load of anything alone will weigh you down. So, please. Let me help you. What can I do to help?”

A tear fell past his cheek as his lip began to tremble. He pulled you in for a hug this time, shivering against your touch.

“I really don’t want to talk,” he mumbled against your shoulder.

“That’s ok. I’m sorry I pushed. I just hate seeing you like this.”

He squeezed you tighter in a wordless reply.

You pulled away, now, and wiped some tears from his face. “How about this. I’ll finish making the cookies while you find what channel is playing Full House.”

Steve’s face shifted from sadness to disdain. “Full House?”

You chuckled. “What? It’s a feel-good show!”

He rolled his eyes, and you couldn’t help but smile at the Steve you knew slowly returning.

The two of you completed your roles, and before you knew it, Steve and you found comfort in your couch, his head in your lap, and your hand on his heart.

Steve’s silence stayed steadfast, the background noise of the Tanner’s taking its place. But this time, you didn’t mind. His breaths were relaxed, rising and falling to a steady beat. His hand found itself resting on your shin, playing mindlessly with the elastic of sweatpants. And his eyes. His eyes were calm for the first time this evening. You knew the war wasn’t over, but you were thankful you at least won this battle.

[lillithsalvatore]

million dollar man

pairing: royal!jacaerys velaryon x fem!reader

summary: the price of loving a million dollar man, a prince

warning: modern royal au!, mention of cheating, angst, minor dni, cursing, asshole jace (?), cried. like and reblog are appreciated!! my 1st imagine, please be nice!!

---

"Did you fuck her, Jace? Answer me!" you demanded your soon-to-be-husband, your voice trembling with anger as you stared at Jace, eyes burning with rage. In your hand was a newspaper from a well-known publication, which you held up in front of him. A news about him with his 'childhood bestfriend'

When Jace finally confessed, nearly shouting, "Once, just once, and I fucking regreted it" your heart tightened. His admission felt like a powerful blow to the trust and pride you had invested in him. Your anger intensified, but beneath it all, a deep sadness began to take hold of your mind.

"Once?" You gave a bitter smile. "Even once is fucking enough to destroy everything we had, Jace."

Jace looked at you with regretful eyes, but that only made you feel more exhausted. "Do you know? I trusted you more than I trusted myself. And you betrayed that trust for a moment of weakness."

"Y/n…" Jace began, trying to approach you, but you raised your hand to stop him.

"Don't!" you choked out, but your voice remained firm. "Don't make this worse Jace”

You took a deep breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. "I loved you sincerely, but love cannot continue when trust has been shattered."

Finally, you turned away, heading toward the door,

"I hope you never make anyone else feel the way I did."

Jace stood there, frozen, feeling the pain in every word you spoke. He realized that you were not just angry about the betrayal, but also about feeling disregarded, pushed aside in a relationship where you had poured all your heart and soul.

"Y/n, I'm sorry, —" Jace said, his voice trembling, but you couldn't bear to hear any more. Apologies at this point only deepened the pain.

"Don't apologize, Jace," you replied, your voice breaking with sobs. "Sorry doesn't change anything. You chose her over me, It's always been her, Jace."

You could feel Jace's hand still holding yours, but now, that warmth no longer provided the comfort it once did. Instead, it only reminded you of the times he wasn't there for you, when he chose to protect someone else over you.

“Please don’t do this, please let me fix it” He begged

"I tried so hard, Jace. I gave you everything I had, but you chose her, even if you didn't realize it," you said, your voice now filled with nothing but exhaustion and despair.

Jace didn't know what to do, what to say to fix his mistake. He could feel everything between you falling apart, piece by piece, with no way to put it back together.

"Y/n, I—" Jace started, but you interrupted him, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

"I can't stay here anymore, Jace. I can't keep going like this. I guess that's the price of loving a million dollar man."

"And I giving this ring back to you, I hope you'll find someone who deserve it" You turned away, moving towards the door, trying to leave this suffocating space before your heart completely shattered.

Before opening the door, you looked back at Jace one last time, hoping he would understand what you couldn't put into words: that you had loved him deeply, but you couldn't stay with someone who no longer belonged to you.

And then, you walked out of the apartment. As the door closed behind you, you felt a profound sadness but also a sense of relief, as if a great burden had been lifted. The tears had dried up, leaving a void in your heart, but it was a necessary emptiness, allowing you to move forward, to find yourself again and rebuild your life from the ruins.

And though the pain was immense, you knew you had done the right thing. You chose yourself

Jace might realize his mistake, but it was too late. The love and trust you had given him were no longer intact. Now, you had to seek happiness for yourself, a happiness unbound by emotional scars.

And so, you moved on, looking toward the future, knowing you deserved a true love, a love that would never betray you.

[strangersteddierthings]

Shovel Talk(s) Part One

Part One 🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four

Steve and Eddie aren't even together when Steve gets the Shovel Talk from Eddie's uncle, but it is what tips Steve into talking to Eddie about his feelings, so he's not upset by it.

They aren't dating, not because he doesn't want Eddie, because he absolutely does. It's just that he wants to be sure Eddie wants him back. There are times when he's sure, when Eddie gets into his space a bit too close, or more often, than he does with anyone else. Eddie calls him a thousand and one nicknames, ranging from sweet to irritating but just when Steve thinks that's a perk left just for him, Eddie hands someone else a new nickname (just the one, a voice in Steve's head that sounds suspiciously like Robin says).

Not that any of that is the point. Wayne wouldn't bother to give Steve a shovel talk at all unless he knew how Eddie felt. Wayne is a man of action, and he's never done anything unless it mattered. Meant something. Steve and Wayne have sat in plenty of (what Steve considers to be) awkward silences because Wayne doesn't talk to fill the void of silence.

The point is, Steve drops Eddie off at the house the government so graciously bought for the Munsons, walks Eddie to the door and giving Eddie a hug goodbye. He stays on the porch until Eddie shuts the door and then nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Wayne call out his name.

"Harrington," Wayne says from the shadows of the wrap around porch.

So, Steve jumps and it's only then he notices that Wayne is sitting at the table and chairs set up on the porch. "Mr. Munson, sir, hi. Hello."

Wayne lets out a chuckle, but it doesn't really sound amused. "I have come to accept that you are nothing like your father, boy, but I do want to make it clear to you, that Eddie means more to me than anything else on this Earth."

"I know, sir."

"I know you do. And while I will forever be grateful that you helped return him to me alive, know that I will not hesitate to make you disappear if you hurt my boy in a way he can't bounce back from."

Steve's not afraid of Wayne, not really, but that doesn't stop him from feeling the need to flee. He doesn't, though, because he'd gotten enough shovel talks from concerned parents in high school, and he knows they can sense weakness. "I can't promise I'd never hurt him, sir, but I can promise it'll never be intentional."

He can't actually see Wayne's face in the darkness but he feels sized up all the same.

"I believe that, Steve," Wayne says, and it's the first time Steve's ever heard his name leave the man's mouth, "now go home."

-

Wayne's shovel talk was expected. Robin's is not.

"You took Eddie on a date date?" She whispers it as though they aren't alone in Steve's living room. They're laying on the floor in a line, heads next to each other so if they turn slightly to the side they can make eye contact. Steve's not sure why they always end up on the floor for Serious Talk Time.

"Yeah," Steve says, looking away from Robin's face to stare up to the ceiling, "I mean, sorta? We can't like... be open that it was a date, but we went to dinner and a movie and it was nice. Shared a popcorn and played footsie under the diner table."

"Whoa," Robin says. "I never thought you'd- didn't think you'd be brave enough to ask him."

"Me either."

"Steve," Robin sounds serious, so Steve turns to look at her. She studies his face for a moment before she's the one to look away, speaks to the ceiling, "be careful with Eddie, yeah?"

"What? Careful how?"

"I just think you could really fuck him up," Robin says. "You're his first boyfriend, right? That's going to set a precedent for relationships that might happen if you two don't work out. And I hate to say this, because I know you've changed, but like, I saw how a lot of those girls you dated in high school ended up when you broke up with them."

Steve's a little hurt, because Robin's his best friend. She should be giving this talk to Eddie, not him. But, also, he understands. He knows that Robin knew about Eddie's sexuality before he did, knows they bonded over being queer while Steve was still figuring himself out.

Steve also knows that Eddie's never been in a relationship before, Eddie'd told him at much when Steve asked him out. Steve doesn't like that Robin implied that he and Eddie will eventually break up, but no matter how much that thought makes Steve's heart ache, he won't know if it'll happen unless it does.

He just doesn't understand why she seems to think he'll be the one breaking Eddie's heart. It could go the other way.

"Did you OD over there?" Robin asks, trying to lighten the mood.

"No," Steve answers, "I'll be careful."

-

They've been on four more dates before Nancy knocks on his door. She doesn't accept his invitation to come inside. Just starts speaking on his doorstep.

"As Eddie's Capital P Soulmate," is how she starts that sentence, and it makes something hurt deep inside Steve as he tries not to think about Robin, "I am obligated to remind you that I do own several guns now. And I don't miss."

"Jesus Christ," Steve says, because even Wayne was more subtle, "I got it."

"Good. I do know you'd never hurt him on purpose," Nancy says but Steve doesn't feel reassured.

He thinks that, if she really didn't think he's going to end up hurting Eddie she wouldn't have said anything at all. "Right."

"Well, good talk Steve," and then she's walking down the driveway and climbing into her car.

He closes the door and goes to the kitchen to get himself a beer, mostly so he has something to do besides stew in his emotions. He wonders if Eddie has been given the shovel talk, too? Maybe Robin did the same thing Nancy just did. Showed up unprompted, threatened Eddie with some sort of bodily harm, and then just left.

Steve grabs the phone and dials Eddie's number.

"Hello?" Eddie's voice greets him, albeit questioningly.

"Eddie, it's Steve."

"Oh, hello sweetheart," Eddie says, "are you calling for business or pleasure?"

Steve laughs, "business."

"Boo!"

"Listen, uh, I had a question. I just wanted to know if anyone's said anything to you. About us. Or, y'know, specifically about us and our relationship?"

"Uh, not really? A few congratulations, I guess. Why? Did someone say something?" Eddie's voice is level, almost too level, so Steve knows he's trying to keep cool.

"Oh, no! No! I mean, aside from the scary shovel talk from- Wayne, everyone's been surprisingly cool about it. Very supportive," Steve says and even though it's true, everyone they've told has been cool about it, it feels a little bit like a lie.

Eddie laughs, "I can't believe my uncle gave you a shovel talk! You know, I keep expecting to get one from Robin but so far nothing. She must think you're safe in my capable hands."

Steve is safe in Eddie's hand, he thinks, but that doesn't stop the sting that goes through him. "Of course, she does. You've been a perfect boyfriend."

There's a pause before Eddie's voice comes through the phone, soft and quiet, "I'm glad you said so. I want to be. For you."

"You're not allowed to say those kinds of things when you aren't within kissing distance, babe," Steve says, because if he doesn't add humor to this conversation, he's going to tell Eddie he loves him instead, and even Steve knows that saying that a month into dating is too soon, especially over the phone where he can't see Eddie's reaction.

Eddie laughs and makes kissing sounds at him before the conversation shifts to chatting about the day and making plans for the weekend.

-

Steve is trying really hard to not be the person he was in high school but every time he gets to the point where he's being a better person, someone brings up how he used to be. Shoves it back into his face that no matter what Steve does he can't outrun his past.

One such time is shortly after Steve and Eddie accidentally come out as a couple to all of Hellfire. Steve was just dropping off the boys and had stepped inside to chat a bit. Once game time had arrived it had and Steve made to leave, they'd (he and Eddie) had been on autopilot. Eddie'd whined 'where's my goodbye kiss?' and Steve had stepped over, kissed him goodbye, and was out the door before it had actually computed.

Steve had burst back through the door, rushing back to Eddie, because no way in Hell was he going to leave his boyfriend to deal with whatever the consequences would be alone.

It had been absolute chaos at the table with people shouting over each other.

"Of all the people you could be with, you picked Steve!? You could do better!" Mike had whined, and Steve had thought for sure he was the only one who had heard Mike until he saw Will punch his arm and hiss his own 'don't be a dick' at Mike.

It took almost half an hour to calm everyone down. It was a relief to know that Eddie had come out to his bandmates/the older Hellfire members already. The kids took it in stride, in the end, and Eddie had shoo'd Steve away.

Jeff had excused himself, too, and Steve thought he was just going to use the bathroom but instead he followed Steve outside.

Ah. Steve knows what's coming.

"Harrington," Jeff says, "can't say I'm excited that you're the secret boyfriend Eddie's constantly sighing wistfully about. I'm sure Wayne's already threatened you," And Robin, and Nancy, and Mike doesn't think he's good enough, "but if you hurt Eddie-"

"I get it! There will be dire consequences if I hurt Eddie," Steve snaps, not down for hearing it anymore. He stomps to his car and peels away from the curb without bothering to look back.

-

If he's being honest, Steve didn't even know he had a breaking point with shovel talks until he gets his fifth one from Dustin.

It's not even a shovel talk. It's just a single sentence, said almost a month after Dustin learned about their relationship. He's dropping Dustin off after their DnD game. Normally Claudia picks him up, but she's busy tonight and asked Steve to do it.

"Alright, Henderson, safely delivered."

"Thanks, Steve," Dustin says, unbuckles his seatbelt, and opens the door, before turning back to Steve. He just looks at him for a moment.

"What?"

"I'm happy for you and Eddie. Just, don't hurt him, ok?"

He nods his head but can't say anything. Dustin grabs his backpack, shoots him a smile, and climbs out. Steve does wait until Dustin closes the front door behind him before putting the car back in gear.

He manages to get home, somehow, because Steve doesn't fully remember the drive. It's not that his mind was so focused on something else that made him fail to take in his surroundings, but rather that his mind wasn't even a part of his body anymore.

One moment he was pulling away from the Henderson residence, and the next, he was home, just standing in his kitchen in the dark. And now that his thoughts are back, or easier to process, he finds himself wondering why everyone thinks that he's going to be the one to hurt Eddie.

How many people has he hurt that this is his reputation? Is it inevitable that he will hurt Eddie? Is it truly just a matter of time until he breaks Eddies heart? Why is everyone so convinced that he will?

Briefly the thought occurs to him that maybe he should call up Eddie and break up with him right now, before Eddie has a chance to get in deep enough that Steve could break his heart, but just the thought of it breaks Steve's heart, so he's not going to do that. Doesn't want to do that. That would just be punishing Eddie for something he didn't do.

None of this is Eddie's fault, and Steve's an asshole for even thinking of breaking up with him because of it. Which feeds him back into the loop of thinking that maybe everyone is right about him. He is an asshole and will someday hurt Eddie, perhaps even on purpose.

He loves Eddie. He's in love with Eddie. But does loving him mean proving his friends wrong? Or does it mean leaving him before they're proven right?

He wants to ask everyone why they think he'll hurt Eddie.

He wants to ask everyone why they don't care if he's the one that gets hurt.

[mmso-notlikethat]

consider this my first lines of 2025.. even tho it's just *gestures* this tagged by @loucifersbitch , @typicalopposite , @bidisasterevankinard

"I don't mind. Let the ones with families have their moments," Tommy had said when his captain gave him a skeptical look when he volunteered to cover a 48-hour shift over New Year's.

It was a holiday like any other—just another tick of the clock, another excuse for people to drink too much and make promises they wouldn't keep.

It had ended with a small restaurant fire��a teenage boy trapped behind a counter, choking on smoke. Tommy pushed through the heat, hauled the kid over his shoulder, and carried him out to safety.

The boy's mother had sobbed in relief, clutching her son tightly as she thanked Tommy over and over. But as he'd stood there, catching his breath, he'd realized he was bleeding—a shallow cut on his forearm from shattered glass, barely more than a scratch. His shoulder and ribs ached from the strain, but it was nothing serious.

When Tommy stepped through the door of his house, the silence hit him first. Then the cold. The kind that seeped into the bones, making even the walls feel unwelcoming. He frowned, flipping on the light. The heater must have given out while he was gone. It wasn't the first time—this old fixer-upper had its quirks, and he'd been too busy to sort them all out.

For a moment, he stood there, staring into the quiet emptiness of his living room. It was tidy, almost too tidy. A stack of dishes sat drying on the counter. The couch was still arranged just so from the last time he'd tidied up. There was no sign of living…

The cold pricked at his skin. He grabbed his keys without a second thought and stepped back out into the night.

Tommy drove. He didn’t know where he was going, only that he needed to be somewhere else. The city gave way to suburbs, the suburbs to open stretches of road. The streetlights disappeared, replaced by the glow of the moon and stars, and the traffic thinned to nothing. He passed fields, hills, and a few lonely gas stations, his mind as empty as the road ahead.

Eventually, he pulled over at a scenic overlook, the kind of spot tourists might stop to snap a picture during the day. It was deserted now, silent except for the occasional rustle of wind through the brush. Below him, the city twinkled faintly in the distance, a sprawling sea of light.

He stepped out of the car and leaned against the hood, staring down at the view. His breath puffed in the chill air, and he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, wincing as the motion pulled at the bruise on his shoulder.

He shifted slightly, the ache in his shoulder flaring as he pressed on the bruise—an unintentional, reflexive motion. The pain was a silent reminder of why he existed. It grounded him, pulled him back from the edge of whatever dark thoughts were circling, whispered to him that he was still here because someone, somewhere, had needed him. Because that boy needed him.

But who needed him now?

His fingers curled around the edge of his jacket pocket, clutching at nothing, his knuckles whitening in the cold. He thought of the boy’s family, how they had clung to each other in relief, their world momentarily righted because of something he’d done. The memory should have been enough to fill the void inside him, but it wasn’t.

The truth he never said aloud crept into his mind again, uninvited and unrelenting... He didn’t know if anyone would hold him like that if it came down to it. He didn’t know if anyone would notice if he disappeared, if anyone would be waiting on the other side of a door, asking where he’d been or if he was okay.

Or maybe he knew…

Tommy didn’t know how long he stood there, letting the cold bite at his cheeks and nose, feeling as small and distant as the lights below.

He thought about how, for a moment, he’d felt like maybe his existence meant something.

But that moment had passed, like they always did. Now it was just him and the night, the cold and the quiet.

He pressed on the bruise again, a harder touch this time, letting the sharp sting cut through the haze of his thoughts.

“Happy New Year Tommy,” he muttered to himself, his voice barely louder than the wind. “I’m still here,” a little louder, as if saying it aloud would make it true. And then he laughed—a short, sharp sound that disappeared into the vastness around him.

[charmedreincarnation]

I shifted using the void state!

I'm getting straight to the point because I know people don't like long success stories, but I used these two posts to finally shift to my desired reality and manifest my dream life.

Rotten’s Practical Guide to Shifting Realities

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zgrhCYyct7xV4j7d7qYFcoO8bAMx5Jqdb3NGoO81Oqs/edit

Reddit Post: The Power of the Void State

https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/s/XMIo5TPYlM

Anyways, when I learned about the void state on Reddit, I was instantly captivated. I mean, who wouldn't be? The idea of not only using it for shifting but also manifesting my dream life for myself and my family felt like a dream come true. That's when I came across the second post I shared about the void state, and eventually, the first document I shared. They were incredibly informative and completely changed my perspective on shifting and the law of the universe.

I went on to stalk many of the recommended success stories on Reddit, exploring posts and comment sections that mentioned you. You seemed to be a common denominator in their journeys, helping them shift or guiding them with your posts. It made me happy to see your positive influence, even though your posts were from years ago and it seemed like you no longer have an account. Unfortunately, many other creators' posts were either inactive or banned due to Reddit's strict rules which is really annoying.

However, someone made a post about you, and one of your friends ended up commenting with your Tumblr account. So, I gathered a lot of valuable information from your account and a few others (like Fleur, Pink, Rem, Sexy Dream Girl, etc.) on Tumblr.

I must say, the Tumblr shifting and void community is miles ahead of Reddit and Amino. I was shocked that I hadn't come across this community before. Reddit is just starting to talk about the Law of assumption and the void, whereas you guys have been immersed in it for years. I even encountered some misconceptions on Reddit, where people still think the void can only be used for shifting and not for waking up in a whole new life. 🙄

Regardless, finding this app was the motivation I needed, and I discovered so much valuable information. I ended up using your theta wave method, combined with the first Reddit post I sent, to enter the void and shift to my dr. It's truly mind-blowing how easy it all was.

I can vouch for this process. All you need are the two Reddit posts I shared, as the guide is highly regarded within the shifting community, along with a few trustworthy Tumblr bloggers. I've been part of the shifting community since 2017, so I've seen it all, and I managed to shift within just two and a half weeks of finding these resources. Even though I was struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, I realized it doesn't have to hinder your journey.

I wanted to share my experience here, and I might make a post on Reddit too. However, they have become stricter with success stories due to anti-troll measures, and it takes weeks to even months for anything to be processed. So, I wanted to share my journey here first.

I also recommend this: https://www.reddit.com/r/shiftingrealities/s/daFCQdyHim because it helped me understand what shifting really is. Manifesting too!

Lastly I'm 26 years old, and I've noticed that Reddit tends to have a more adult audience compared to Tumblr. At first, it felt nice to be surrounded by fellow adults discussing shifting. On the other hand, seeing Tumblr mostly filled with teens and younger adults made me wonder if it's easier for them, especially without the weight of responsibilities that often come with age.

But let me tell you, age is not a factor that determines our success in shifting. Whether you're 13 or 55, it doesn't matter. This is something we can all engage in, no matter our age.

Sure, there might be some challenges that come with getting older. As we accumulate more life experiences, doubts tend to creep in, and we become more logical. But guess what? Those doubts and logical thinking don't define our ability to shift realities. They are simply hurdles for us to overcome.

Hi love! I've spent some time going through all the resources you shared, and they've been incredibly helpful! Actually i have seen that guide in so many places, and it's truly enlightening. Thank you for sharing these amazing tools with us!

And yes, I wholeheartedly agree with what you said. age and doubt really do have no place in our journey they really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

I used to engage with @theastralplaneandbeyond5487 on Amino and Reddit too. He also has an informative YouTube channel and is in his 50s, I believe. His experiences and insights are rlly helpful and further show that age is just a number in this journey.

His journey showed me that we can do whatever we we want , regardless of our age. It's a beautiful reminder that we're all capable of creating and experiencing whatever we want 🩵

Also omg my Reddit era in 2021 was so fun. I’m glad it’s still helping people though my views have definitely evolved :D!

[horeformilfs]

Sorry to bug ya but I was wondering if you’d mind a Alcina x ex umbrella experiment s/o

Like there super snuggly because “this touch doesn’t hurt what!!”

If you want to add some Demi fam in there I am not opposed because it’s cute

Only if you wanna

A Family's Embrace

Dimitrescu Family x Gender Neutral Reader

TW: Panic Attack, PTSD, Nightmares

------------------------------------------------

The night was quiet, save for the occasional rustle of the wind against the ancient walls of Castle Dimitrescu. Y/N sat by the window, staring out at the endless stretch of darkness that cloaked the land. The room was warm, a stark contrast to the cold void outside, but inside, Y/N felt a chill that had nothing to do with the weather.

Alcina had taken Y/N in under Mother Miranda's request. What was once a dark, twisted experiment of the Umbrella Corporation had somehow found refuge in the imposing, yet oddly comforting embrace of the castle and its inhabitants. Lady Alcina Dimitrescu and her daughters had taken to Y/N almost immediately, showering them with a kind of warmth Y/N had never known. Yet, despite this new-found sanctuary, there was a barrier Y/N couldn't seem to break down.

"Y/N," Alcina's voice, smooth and deep, echoed from the doorway. Y/N turned slightly, catching sight of the towering figure of Alcina, her presence filling the room with a mix of elegance and power.

"Yes, Lady Dimitrescu?" Y/N replied, their voice barely above a whisper.

Alcina's crimson lips curved into a gentle smile as she crossed the room, her steps almost silent. "How many times must I tell you, dear? Call me Alcina." She reached out, intending to place a comforting hand on Y/N's shoulder, but Y/N flinched away, pulling back instinctively.

A flicker of frustration crossed Alcina's face, but she quickly masked it. "Y/N, why do you shy away from me? Have I done something to make you uncomfortable?" Her voice was still gentle, but there was an edge to it now, a hint of impatience.

Y/N looked down, their hands trembling slightly. "It's not that, Alcina. I just... I don't want to." Their voice broke at the end, and they clenched their fists, trying to steady themselves.

Alcina's patience was wearing thin. "Not want to? You barely speak to me, you avoid my touch, and yet you never explain why. Do you not trust me? After everything I've done for you?" Her voice rose with each word, the calm exterior cracking to reveal the storm beneath.

Y/N's heart pounded in their chest, the pressure of Alcina's words weighing heavily on them. "It's not about trust," they whispered, tears beginning to blur their vision. "I just can't..."

Alcina's temper snapped. "Can't what, Y/N? Can't let anyone in? Can't accept that someone might actually care for you?" She loomed over Y/N, her shadow engulfing them. "I have given you everything, and yet you give me nothing in return!"

The words hit Y/N like a physical blow. They stood, shaking, their mind a chaotic swirl of fear and confusion. "I'm sorry," they choked out, before turning and fleeing the room, leaving Alcina standing there, her anger giving way to a painful realization. 

Hours passed, and Alcina found herself pacing the halls of the castle, her mind replaying the confrontation over and over. She had always prided herself on her composure, but something about Y/N brought out a raw, unfiltered emotion she couldn't control.

Determined to make things right, she made her way to Y/N's room. She knocked softly, then opened the door, finding Y/N curled up on the bed, their face buried in their knees.

"Y/N," she said softly, the anger gone from her voice. "Please, talk to me."

Y/N looked into Alcina's eyes, seeing the sincerity and the pain reflected there. It was a moment of understanding, a fragile bridge being built between their two wounded souls. But the past held a tighter grip than Y/N had realized.

"I can't," Y/N whispered, the words heavy with regret. "I'm sorry, Alcina. I just can't let you in."

Alcina's hand froze, the warmth of her touch lingering in the air between them. A mixture of hurt and frustration flashed across her face. "Y/N, you don't have to do this alone. I want to help you, but you need to let me."

Y/N shook their head, tears streaming down their cheeks. "I'm broken, Alcina. And no matter how much you care, I can't change that. I don't know how to let anyone in without breaking even more."

The silence that followed was thick with unspoken words and shattered hopes. Alcina slowly pulled back, standing tall once more, her expression unreadable. "I understand," she said quietly, though the tremor in her voice betrayed her emotions. "I won't force you. But know this, Y/N: I am here for you, whenever you're ready."

Y/N nodded, unable to find the words to respond. They watched as Alcina left the room, her footsteps echoing down the hallway, leaving Y/N alone with their thoughts and fears.

The night seemed even darker now, the cold seeping back in as Y/N curled up on the bed once more. They knew Alcina's love was genuine, but the chains of the past were still too strong. And so, they lay there, wrapped in a cocoon of their own making, waiting for a dawn that felt so far away. 

Weeks passed in a tense stalemate. Every attempt Alcina made to offer comfort was met with the same response—Y/N flinching away, retreating further into their shell. Alcina tried to be patient, but the constant rejection gnawed at her. She wanted to break through, to help, but Y/N's walls remained impenetrable.

One night, a storm raged outside the castle, the wind howling and rain lashing against the stone walls. Y/N lay in bed, tossing and turning as memories of the experiments flooded their mind. In their nightmares, they were back in the sterile, cold labs of Umbrella, the pain and fear suffocating them.

A loud crack of thunder shook the castle, jolting Y/N awake. Heart pounding, drenched in sweat, they couldn't catch their breath. Panic seized them, and they bolted out of bed, the need to escape overwhelming their thoughts. Barefoot and in their nightclothes, they ran through the corridors, the storm's fury mirrored in their frantic pace.

They found themselves in the courtyard, the rain drenching them instantly, but they didn't stop. Lightning illuminated the path as they made their way to Alcina's wing of the castle. The wind howled, the storm's ferocity making the journey treacherous, but Y/N didn't care. They needed Alcina.

Reaching her door, they pounded frantically, their fists a blur against the heavy wood. "Alcina! Please!" they cried, their voice barely audible over the storm's roar.

The door swung open, and Alcina stood there, her eyes wide with shock. "Y/N?" She pulled them inside, closing the door against the storm's rage. Y/N stood before her, drenched and trembling, their eyes wild with fear.

"What's wrong?" Alcina asked, her voice gentle but firm, trying to anchor Y/N in the present.

"I... I can't breathe," Y/N gasped, clutching at their chest. "The nightmares... I can't..." Their words trailed off into sobs, their body shaking uncontrollably.

Alcina's heart ached at the sight. She wanted nothing more than to hold Y/N, to offer the physical comfort she knew they needed. But she held back, respecting their boundaries. Instead, she knelt down to their level, her eyes meeting theirs.

"Y/N, look at me," she said softly. "You're safe here. Focus on my voice."

Y/N's eyes darted around the room, their breath coming in short, shallow gasps. Alcina spoke again, her voice steady and calm. "In and out, Y/N. Breathe with me. In... and out..."

Slowly, Y/N tried to match Alcina's rhythm. The world narrowed to the sound of her voice, a lifeline in the storm of their mind. "That's it. You're doing great," Alcina encouraged, her eyes never leaving theirs.

Minutes passed, each one feeling like an eternity, but gradually, Y/N's breathing steadied. Their sobs subsided, leaving them exhausted and still shivering from the rain and the aftermath of their panic attack.

Alcina rose gracefully, her movements slow and deliberate. "Let's get you out of these wet clothes," she suggested. "I have something dry you can wear."

Y/N nodded weakly, too drained to argue. Alcina retrieved a robe from her wardrobe and handed it to them. She turned her back, giving Y/N privacy to change. Once they were in dry clothes, Alcina led them to a chair by the fireplace, where the warmth began to seep back into their bones.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Alcina asked, sitting across from them, maintaining a respectful distance.

Y/N shook their head, their eyes downcast. "It was the same as always. The labs, the experiments... I couldn't escape."

Alcina's expression softened. "I'm sorry you have to go through this, Draga. I wish I could take away your pain."

"I know," Y/N whispered, their voice barely audible. "I'm sorry I keep pushing you away. It's not that I don't trust you. I just... I don't know how to accept help."

Alcina nodded, her eyes filled with understanding. "Healing takes time. And it's okay to take things at your own pace. Just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes, and they looked at Alcina, seeing the unwavering support and care in her gaze. "Thank you," they said, their voice breaking. "I don't deserve your kindness."

Alcina shook her head gently. "Everyone deserves kindness, Draga Mae . Especially you."

For a moment, the room was silent, the storm outside a distant roar. Y/N took a deep breath, feeling a small measure of peace for the first time in what felt like forever. They still had a long way to go, but with Alcina by their side, maybe, just maybe, they could start to believe in the possibility of healing.

As the fire crackled and the storm raged on, Y/N felt a fragile hope begin to take root, nurtured by the warmth of Alcina's unwavering support. It wasn't a solution, but it was a step. And in that moment, it was enough. 

As the night slowly passed, Alcina stayed awake with Y/N, the storm outside gradually subsiding. The fire crackled softly, casting flickering shadows on the walls. Alcina kept a watchful eye on Y/N, who sat wrapped in a blanket, still trembling slightly from the ordeal.

After around two hours, Y/N, drained and needing sleep, gently curled into Alcina's side. Alcina hesitated for a moment, then softly rested her hand on Y/N's back. Y/N flinched but didn't pull away, a small but significant step.

"Draga," Alcina murmured, her voice gentle, "would it be alright if I held you?"

Y/N hesitated, their mind a whirl of conflicting emotions. The fear and trauma were still there, but so was Alcina's unwavering patience and care. Finally, they nodded, their voice barely a whisper. "Yes."

With utmost care, Alcina took Y/N and pulled them into her lap, wrapping her arms around them securely. Her touch was firm but gentle, a protective embrace that sought to shield rather than confine. It took a while for Y/N to relax, their body stiff and tense. Alcina remained still, her warmth a steady presence against Y/N's fears.

Gradually, Y/N's breathing slowed, and the tension began to melt away. They snuggled closer into Alcina's embrace, finding comfort in the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. "It's actually not bad," Y/N mumbled, their voice muffled against Alcina's chest.

Alcina smiled softly, her heart swelling with a mix of relief and tenderness. "I'm glad," she whispered, her hand gently stroking Y/N's hair. "Rest now, sweetheart. You're safe."

As Y/N and Alcina settled into their embrace, the tranquility of the moment was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. Alcina glanced towards it, a hint of curiosity in her eyes, before rising to answer.

"Come in," she called out, her voice carrying a warmth that invited entry.

The door creaked open, revealing Daniela, Cassandra, and Bela standing in the doorway, their expressions a mix of concern and determination.

"We wanted to stay with you tonight, Mother," Daniela spoke up, her voice surprisingly gentle compared to her usual playful tone.

Y/N's heart sank at the sight of the three daughters, realizing they were intruding on what was meant to be a private moment. They began to untangle themselves from Alcina's embrace, intending to make a quick exit, but Bela's voice stopped them in their tracks.

"Where do you think you're going, little one?" Bela asked, her tone softer than usual, a hint of warmth in her gaze.

Y/N hesitated, unsure of how to respond. "I... I was just going to leave, so you could have time together," they murmured, their voice barely above a whisper.

Cassandra stepped forward, her expression earnest. "No, we want you to stay," she said firmly, her eyes meeting Y/N's with unwavering sincerity.

Y/N's heart swelled at the unexpected invitation, but they couldn't shake the feeling of being out of place. "It's really okay, I don't want to intrude," they protested, their gaze flickering between the three sisters.

Bela approached them, her movements graceful yet purposeful. "Nonsense, little one," she said gently, reaching out to take Y/N's hand. "You're not intruding. You're part of our family now."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes at the simple, yet profound words. They nodded, their voice catching in their throat. "Thank you," they whispered, overwhelmed by the acceptance they found in the Dimitrescu sisters.

With a soft smile, Bela led Y/N back towards the bed, where Daniela had already curled up in Alcina's lap. Cassandra and Bela made room for Y/N to join them, and soon they were surrounded by the comforting presence of the Dimitrescu family.

As they settled in, Y/N felt a sense of belonging wash over them, a feeling they hadn't experienced in a long time. Bela's arm draped around them, offering a sense of security they had longed for. When tears threatened to spill once more, Bela gently brushed them away, her touch tender and reassuring.

"It's okay, little one," Bela whispered, her voice a soothing melody in the quiet room. "You're safe here with us."

And in that moment, as the storm raged outside and the fire crackled softly, Y/N knew they had found a home, not just within the walls of Castle Dimitrescu, but within the hearts of its inhabitants. And as they nestled closer into the embrace of their newfound family, they allowed themselves to believe that maybe, just maybe, they could find healing and happiness in the warmth of their love.

[sheeezu]

Hello sheezu! I am really grateful that you shared your knowledge and experience about shifting, and took your time to answer questions people like me have. Maybe if more people like you existed, reality shifting wouldn't be needed after all :).

I have a lot of personal struggles with shifting and being happy in general, it's been more than 2 years of trying and getting just enough to stay on this journey, but not more than that.

One of the biggest problems i have with reality shifting is that it feels like it's taking your life away from you. You are not there, but you are not here either. It's like this eternal limbo of mediocrity, where you are forced (by yourself) to never get anywhere.

Either way, i have a couple of questions that I've been wondering about, and i think those questions also might be of interest to other people:

Question about "consciousness theory".

You believe in "consciousness theory". Which essentially is:

"Whatever thoughts you have consciously or otherwise, define reality".

Based on that theory, is reality defined by:

A) the thoughts you produce in general.

B) intentions behind thoughts. (thoughts are just words filled with intentions after all, you could say one thing but mean a different thing)

C) beliefs you have. (assuming it is possible to not believe in a thought)

E) something else entirely.

Can someone who doesn't really believe in reality shifting, somehow prove to himself that it is real?

Thank you for answering. I have much more questions i could ask, but i am not sure that they are important / interesting enough to bother you.

Much love.

I don't mind answering questions.

I can't help but look at how you split the same concepts into different parts.

Thoughts define your reality.

Here's how that process works:

1. You consciously think of a thought which influence your current state of mind.

2. Those thoughts, as heavy focus is put on them, get stored in your subconsciousness, which is responsible for constructing reality based upon those thoughts, this way, the human mind is putting up a show for you.

3. What's stored subconsciously is stored in your unconscious part of the brain, which is when you sleep, your brain has a script of how the next day is going to play out with the circumstances.

Therefore, beliefs, intentions, and everything around you, are thoughts from 4d manifested into a lower plane, 3d.

So in that sense, in a blank state of mind (void state) new direction of reality could be chosen, it could be completely changed according to your wishes. So that's why, in a meditative states, its possible to manifest, and shift realities.

So according to your MCQs, I'd say E options, perhaps.

But A is also correct, what you think is what makes reality.

For you second question, can someone who doesn't believe in shifting it to themselves.

It depends on what kind of person they are.

Are they some who think of it as false, as a trend? Of course they'll never be able to shift or experience it, even in afterlife, since they are walking a path of believing it is false, so that's how reality will play out to them.

For people who are skeptics and are willing to try? Yes, they can prove it to themselves, many shifting techniques, such as the void state and LOA push them to achieving a state of mind where they could change their realities even in the slightest (again, blank, meditative, and some distraction method which turns them away from the 3D.)

[creators-lounge]

✏️ Creators' Content ✏️

This post is for anyone who is curious about our server members' content, and to share a lot of suggestions for people to check! 💕

Since Tumblr is a website that mostly depends on reblogs, everyone is welcomed to reblog to give these amazing creators a well deserved boost!

Remember to also encourage other content creators as well, you may make someone's day with a silly reblog or comment!

Note: This post might be edited depending on the members' information, comic updates, projects updates, etc, so check the original post instead of reblogs.

Note 2: This is a private server for plenty of reasons, we do not accept requests nor petitions to join, so we would be grateful if you do not put that pressure on our mods or on our members. Sorry in advance, and hope you still enjoy all of our artworks! You may check our QnA for a better explanation if you'd like, too.

v Members' Comics Section v

ALIVE by @tatatale

> First Chapter

A L I V E is not an AU as such, but a buch of characters from different AUs and timelines who decided that they'll form an AU. So it's technically an AU, but no. Enjoy.

Bovid-20 by @hansama

> First Chapter

Bovid-20 is a (very short) suspense mystery comic that tells the story of a home invasion in the middle of a lock-down. You are the main character of the story.

Bitty Problems by @theskeletongames

> First Chapter

A comic featuring bitties with Sanses, primarily focusing on Underfell Sans and his bitty

Delivery! by @anovainspace

> Comics

Three out!codes from collapsing alternative universes came together to one void, all just wanting to obtain access to the multiverse for their end goal; therefore, they created an alibi to not create suspicion for wandering around different places. Setting up a pen paling system for others to contact each other through mail and delivering said mail. 

Don't Forget by @zirkkun

> First Chapter

“Don’t forget us. We’re with you in the dark.” After years of abandonment, the Undertale multiverse has been mysteriously shrouded in darkness. there only remains one survivor by the name of Ink… but despite a faint hope from everyone who died that everything can return to normal, he’s forgotten all the pieces to restore the multiverse back to what it once was.

Flicker of a Neon Soul by @harmonytre

> First Chapter

Since the beginning of time, monsters have had colored souls. Only the royal family's soul could change color. That is, until two young skeletons find their colors.

How to greet a new pal by @theskeletongames

> First Chapter

A crossover comic with Sans falling into Underfell.

Idoltale by @nekojaf

> First Chapter

Idol and her friends go on a big multiverse adventure after a new and strange Force threatens their universes.

Impostortale by @s3-izures

> Masterpost

Armed with an obsession for masks and semi-immortality, a shapeshifter roams the multiverse in search of roles to fill, missions to complete, and shenanigans to commit.

Non-Lethal AU by @s3-izures

> Masterlist

A certain Destroyer has been found... except this one doesn't seem to be destroying anything so far. In fact, he seems like a bit of a wimp, doesn't he?

Paper Crane by @little-noko

> First Chapter

Where timelines and lives ends, in the void are countless shattered souls struggling to remain alive and come back to the living world they came from. A being without a name gather them to form a single entity, with nowhere to go, they found themselves traveling endlessly to make sense of who they are and why they are here.

Prismtale by @harmonytre

> First Chapter

Havana, Sans, Scarf Mouse, Bob, Monster Kid, Fuku Fire, and Ficus Licker are thrust into an adventure they'll never forget. Will they find a way home? How will they deal with their new powers? Who on earth is PC?

Save!tale by @mumder

> First Chapter

Sans is stuck in a ruthless loop of genocide runs. Except after the 678th reset, he for some reason awakens with all his memories, including one that haunts him - the image of a star. This fixation slowly drives him insane, as he becomes obsessed with becoming the epitome of determination.

Spitetale by @nosebleed-inglishera

> First Chapter

After several genocidal routes, everyone in the Underground started to remember, causing monstersto fearing for the next time they get killed again. Will Frisk take the choice to finally save everyone and fix their mistakes?

Timetale by @allesiathehedge

> Prologue

Seven hundred years after they were sealed underground, monsterkind still hopes that they would one day return to the surface. Not only does Sans have to worry about finding a solution to destroy the barrier on behalf of the King, but he also has to face a ghost of a past that he sorely wanted to keep buried. Will Sans be able to make peace with himself, his duties, and his failed love? Only time will tell...

Underlust Reimagine by @zirkkun

> First Chapter

An Underlust AU that takes a spin on the original concept to present a thematically similar story, but with some slightly different aspects that have led some of the characters to take different roles.

Under/Source by @slylock-syl

> First Chapter

After a virus wielding hacker threatens to cause chaos throughout other universes, Necros takes it upon himself to track them down and protect anyone he can along the way.

Underwizard by @susartwork

> Prologue

Humans began hunting monsters to gain great magical powers from their souls. After a huge massacre, seven human wizards decide to seal the monsters underground with a magic spell. Hundreds of years later a human child appears, determined to free all the monsters and save them from a new threat.

Unitale by @toky502

> First Chapter

Unitale (An alternate tale) is a comic of an alternative and altered version of many other stories from other undertale au's together, is just an alternate tale more.

Various comics by @wr-n

> Masterpost

> Eldritch AU

> Dust comics

Dust Comic is a comic following the Bad Sanses as they look for a way to cure Dust of his lethal dose of Determination and LV.

Members Projects and WIPs

Blocking Sans by @samess-moon (Twitter)

Damaged tale by @6nimus9

Damaged tale is an Alternate Timeline of Undertale that takes place in a frozen post-genocide timeline where only o̸n̵e̷ ̵c̸h̷a̷r̷a̶c̵t̷e̸r̸ remains, basing its concept in how consequences can strike back.

Encantale by @codeyspace

The Human vs Monster war ended a millenium ago. Monsters trapped in the underground with hope and magic. What should've led to their extinction was instead replaced by something... enchanting.

Escort Mission by Yoki-Doki (DeviantArt)

Way before the events of Undertale, even before the war between humans and monsters, a little girl lost her way in the monster kingdom. This is the quest to help her return home.

Flowerfield AU / Ask Sunflower by @asksunflower / @tatatale

This is an ask blog about a silly guy who acts like a cat and a goat king, but is actually a skeleton. He likes flowers and tea, and sometimes things happen.

Herb by @omero-megane (Twitter)

LAU by @nixensibrat

Lonertale by @blvdcharms

Lonertale is an AU revolving around a medieval, single-most pacifist timeline where war between humans and monster is post-poned up until the main cast of characters are young adults. Follow Asriel and his friends as they go on to protect monsterkind.

Storyteller by @cursedmuii (Twitter)

“I exist based on the will of stories. I have no place to return, no name, or age, but I am called Storyteller... Come here with me, I can take you everywhere with the stories I tell… only you listen to them.”

Strays AU by @stoukadraws

“Give me your hopes and dreams, and I shall grant you true salvation.” An unknown human falls into Mt. Ebott, and begins their journey through the Underground...But something is off. Will they discover what’s truly going on behind the scenes?

Undereats by @sui-imi (Twitter)

A food delivery service that works with restaurants across the multiverse. It's run by a Gaster called Exec. They work together with - and are located in - Commercetale, an AU where trades and sales empower monster magic.

Underforgotten by @nezu-tan

Undergut by @theartist-june (Tw. Gore)

Undergut is an AU where hunger makes for desperate times. It’s not that there is no food… it’s that food could barely sustain, could barely satisfy. Magic is not enough. We need more… more…! Will you be able to survive the hunger?

UnderREM by @socksandbuttons (And @/ohlookanothercartoontofallinto)

Dreamtale with dreams and the cast of Undertale.

Underrewind by @wishingstarinajar

A comic and fanfiction/short stories are currently in the works to tell the story about Rewind, the main protagonist of this AU.

Undervalue by @6nimus9

Monsters, instead of getting trapped down by a magic barrier, are trapped directly by humans, who after winning the war started by greed have decided to take advantage of the monsters’ ability to create precious stones and gems of different values.

Wickedtale by @alch3mic (AO3) (Read Tw's.)

WICKEDTALE is a reader insert fairytale inspired Undertale AU set in the twisted Ebott City. As one of its many unfortunate inhabitants, do you have what it takes to survive in such a wretched town surrounded by secrets and misery? Well, luckily for you there seems to be a certain skeleton in your life who will go to any lengths to assure your happy ending together.

Great artist you should check anyway!!

@bloowe-blu - @lazzlady - @minaruzi- @normalayasstuff - @sanssupremacy - @shenzcorner

Other fandoms content!

@galaxii-star (Multifandom) - RazzyPossum (FNAF) - @jadenskyfare

[hardlyinteresting]

Can I request an Aaron x f!reader story based on the song “One of Us” by ABBA? Like they’re together but going through a tough time and separate. They get back together in the end tho 😊 Completely up to you if you wanna write it!

PS I love your Aaron stories, you write him so well hehe

One of Us

I am so so sorry this took so long. I am also so sorry to Aaron Hotchner because he is in a constant state of sleep deprivation in all of our fics.

Warnings: none that I'm aware of As always Request here! | Masterlist

Each decision he’s ever made has been made with someone else in mind. After a year of tremendous heartache, and life-altering losses, Aaron had been convinced that a life of simple joys was not in the cards for him. 

His relationship with Haley had been tumultuous towards the end of their marriage, but they had both been young and optimistic in the beginning. He had thought then that marrying his high school sweetheart was the perfect way to rail against his mother's expectations, but in hindsight, he had only met them. 

Despite the reservations his mother harboured about the social status of Haley Brookes's family, a wedding was a surefire way to get her off his back. He loved Haley, just not as he should have or maybe even could have if his life had been a little kinder. 

Her idealism and compassion were admirable but quickly began to clash with the realities of the life they had built together. A life he could not afford to change. Yet, Haley was who paid the ultimate price. It's a debt he knows he cannot repay. 

He had not expected to find another love in his life, and certainly not as soon as he did with you. Right place, right time. it's too good to be true; like a real love he's undeserving of. Worse perhaps, even still, it might be a love he's had too much of already. 

There's a warmth in his chest that refuses to shift when he's around you, it lingers after you leave. New smile eyes form by the corners of his eyes, and he'd hate them if you didn't love them so much. 

You are a beacon of a life that has not been his to live in many years. He thinks about Haley; how it had felt to fill a similar void in his life with simple kindness and gentle joys. History repeats itself in his mind's eye and he wonders if this might just be a warning. Maybe it is too soon. Too good to be true. He works too much anyway, he tells himself. 

And so he breaks your heart. And he breaks his own too. 

Half his bed is too cold. His apartment is so silent it's unnerving; he yearns for more than he misses, the sounds of dinner or baked goods being made in the kitchen. Uncontrollable laughter is never heard on the nights he's alone. The warmth he carried in his chest started to ache. 

He knows he's made the wrong choice, and berates himself for it as he stares up at the ceiling every night. He curses himself for thinking he deserves a second chance to make it up to you.

The knock at the door in the middle of the night should startle him. The sudden interruption would usually have him reaching to unlock his gun safe before heading to the door, but something about the hesitant knock, knock, knocking is too familiar. He pads slowly to his door, unlocking it without hesitation. You’re a sight for sore eyes, the very picture of everything he’s been missing the last few weeks. Like himself you stood in the doorway pyjama clad, and weary with a lack of sleep. Your name is a whisper on his lips, some kind of prayer, a near-silent plea. “you need to let me in, Aaron,” You tell him.

He knows you don't just mean into the apartment as your hand reaches, resting on his chest right above his pounding heart. “I know,” he says, “I will”.

[maxwell-grant]

Any thoughts on AKI in SF6?

I haven't had a chance to play the game yet and I might do a more thorough look into the newcomers after I do sit through World Tour, but yeah I got some AKI thoughts. Holy shit what a design. Top 15-20 in the series, it is one hell of a different thing to watch it animated by the character's personality and moveset and vibe. We expected some FANG-isms, some Juri-isms, but certainly not that. We expected a cold, even generic assassin, not someone who merrily treats the penal code like a list of chores.

It was pretty funny seeing the reaction to her develop from "oh she's FANG's apprentice, okay I guess, not sure anyone was asking for that", to "is she the new Juri, she's got a really similar vibe", to "holy shit Juri's got NOTHING on her". In reaction to her popularity, SF6 had been doing a lot of great character work on Juri that, while making her much more developed and entertaining as a character (cringe failgirl Juri was such a revelation) and dramatically more interesting as a person, also really limits the extent to which she can be a straight-up villain anymore. Much like how FANG was designed to fill the void left by Sagat, AKI here crashed the scene to fill the void left by Juri, and so she gets to be not just completely 100% horrible (where as Juri is like, 70-80% horrible), but also SCARY in a way Juri never could be. She gets so, so much out of not being designed for sex appeal and coolness first and foremost, she's like the D'Vorah to Juri's Mileena.

She's a horrible, predatory character, and much like Marisa, I don't think she would have been allowed at all to exist the way she does had she debuted prior (you just know they would have not given her those sick ass pants or given her a different haircut or a cleavage window or something stupid like that). The development team for V repeteadly stated that there were ideas for a new assassin apprentice character related to Gen thrown around and that some of those made their way into FANG and Seth, and AKI is the end result of that very long refinement process. She's the resident freakshow character in the tradition started by Blanka and Dhalsim, and she's the outrageous over-the-top counterpoint to the more traditional martial arts like Chun-Li or even Jamie (much like Adon, or Necro). She's the understudy of the kung fu assassin villain, and in a way akin to Menat she's the young new apprentice of a prior character who acts as a stand-in for that character on the roster and driven to prove her worth before said character, while also being a modern do-over of said character.

(And for the record I actually like FANG quite a bit, a lot more than most of the other V characters. He played like garbage and his execution was lacking and couldn't make up for a terrible first impression in the fanbase, but the design and character and concept I thought were very solid and I'm glad AKI shows they didn't give up on it but took steps to improve on it, I'm glad to see him again in 6).

She breaks new ground for the series by leaning strongly into a horror wraith vibe no other character had before, and she's the Street Fighter equivalent to characters like Voldo, a horrible contortionist slasher villain who doesn't fight you so much as she just passionately and exquisitely butchers you while getting off on it. Her moves are incredible, superbly characterized, she feels vicious and oppressive to watch but still hits that note on FANG's where the playstyle is meant to be tricky but overspecialized and beatable at close range. And while she's designed to be a much more explicitly serious and deadly-looking character than FANG, they even give her goofy little flourishes like blowing bubbles shaped like FANG (and getting pissed if you pop them), his propensity for bird-like arms flapping, and an uncharacteristically childish victory dance akin to Chun-Li's.

She is as cadaverous as Juri is tempestuous, openly referring to herself as a ghost, and when she isn't losing her shit in contorting fits of laughter over success, she has a remarkably chill, upbeat disposition when spouting horrible things to the protagonist or fake poisoning them for laughs. She has an incredibly distinct personality more so than any especially developed inner life, and that's kinda the point: that she has wholly and completely sublimated herself to her role as FANG's tool, by choice and intent of her own, and that's part of why she's a real deal villain.

She was raised by him, she likes what he likes, she is obsessed with everything he is and has done and will do, hates everyone that isn't him, considers him her master and teacher and father and husband all in one, and her romantic fixation and love for him is meant to be deeply disturbing in every way imaginable (and only not a total dealbreaker for me because FANG in no way reciprocates or encourages it or is able to do so, even AKI understands as much), and that they may eventually have to kill each other doesn't deter her one bit.

Despite those surface similarities, there is quite a lot that sets AKI apart from Juri, chief of those being that Juri was victimized by Shadaloo and in response fashioned herself into an instrument of vengeance and turned monstrous as a result, where as AKI actively chose her life and chose being molded by someone else, running away from home and following FANG every step of the way without any regret. Even FANG himself had little choice in his own life, kidnapped as a child and forced to partake in horrible training under which every day could be his last, raised to value nothing but survival at all costs.

Perhaps this in itself is the strength that FANG saw in AKI, that she gets to choose and does so with far greater intent than even himself. That she's someone who could fully understand the horribleness of the Nguuhao methods and lifestyle and want for that and nothing else, to consciously partake in such grueling torture of mind and body and lovingly decide that she can't get enough of it.

And in itself this pairs interestingly with the very idea of giving FANG a dedicated protege sidekick, a character beat that the series has come back to again and again, and takes on an entirely different tone here. I think a lot of what makes AKI's obsession interesting to me in a way these usually aren't, is not just because it's creepy, but because it's ultimately sad and pathetic, and parallels FANG's own craven worship of Bison. It's such a great dynamic, a miserable cycle perpetuated by miserable people caught on the wrong side of that glorification of self-improvement, inner strength and the great heroes and masters who can pass it onto others that the series uses so frequently, and it makes AKI even greater as a character for it: because now we have a true dark mirror for the driving motivation of many of our characters. We have our fucked-up toxic counterpart to every Sakura, Mika, Menat, and Sean out there.

She sees him as he saw Bison and more, and the fact that she is much more threatening and overtly competent and scary than FANG is offset by the fact that worshipping Bison is a wholly different thing than worshipping, y'know, FANG. We comprehend, on some level, FANG's worship, because M.Bison is supposed to be, at minimum, a cool imposing megavillain we're meant to like on some level, which is certainly not true for FANG. SF6 has been very clear on that, that even though he's been given a much slicker outfit, and is keeping a low profile to plot from behind the scenes, this is still very much FANG, every bit the conniving, petty control freak from before.

AKI is a cool, hypercompetent death machine able to scare the pants off the main villain, and she labors desperately day and night, to the point of crying if she fails, to meet the approval of a ridiculous, pathetic man who, no matter how deceptively cunning or dangerous he may be, is only cool to her. Much of why I think FANG worked and was necessary in the first place was because he was designed around the vacuum left by the Four Kings and to contrast them, as what kind of man would it take to work himself ragged running Bison's schemes and being unfailingly loyal to him and Shadaloo, opposite Vega and Balrog's sporadic barely-there alliances and Sagat's outright betrayal. We needed an anti-Sagat, a proper bastard of a Number 2 to run the show in secret. And AKI adds a lot of poignancy to that in that she is much of what FANG can't be, even as she wants nothing more than to be like him.

It's one thing to have somebody who really looks up to and makes an effort to imitate the cool and impressive and heroic World Warriors, or someone influenced by imposing villains like Balrog or Sagat but ultimately decides to carve their own path. It's another thing entirely for maybe THE most obsessive protege character in the series, someone who actively has no identity outside of servitude to her master, to revolve around FANG, the dastardly bird man, who made his debut in a story by hunting down and melting an innocent woman, and grossly and animastically licking her ashen remains off his fingers. What kind of person would decide that this sickening, vile creep is deserving of worship and following until the ends of the Earth?

(art by @remy2fang)

Well, maybe the same kind of person who would consciously look at the likes of M.Bison in the first place, someone they intuitively understand "will reign death on all living beings", and upends their life on the spot towards becoming that man's eternal servant. Someone who seeks self-fulfillment through no other means than the pursuit of strength and knowledge as tools to subjugate others and appease their master. The darkest corruption of the master-student dynamic that defines so much of the series. You couldn't ask for anything more fitting, for the poison specialists.

[fleurlia]

pairing; seunghan x idol reader

genre; angst, kinda fluff, lovers to exes

note; i hope you guys like this! riize has been really on my mind lately, and it was fun writing about them. i think i'll continue if you enjoy it;

your biggest dream was to debut as an idol. it always had been.

and when you finally made at the age seventeen and after some time of relentless work and effort, you could hear the words "congratulations, you did it" and then make your debut alongside your four closest friends. you felt complete, nothing in the world could take away what you now had.

although you were not paid enough for the hours of effort and the amount you did and all the other thousands of negative points, you never felt so happy in your short life and that was enough for you. the sensation of stepping onto the stage once more always rekindled a sense of fulfillment, filling a void you didn't even realize existed.

the first year was magical, creating a bond with your new four best friends who had essentially become an integral part of your family, revived something within you. the amount of trips, especially for someone who had never left the city, the absurd love that you received from the fans. all the experiences that you might remember for the rest of your life had been in that first year as the main vocalist of your group.

you never experienced emptiness like before; everything was consistently whole and fulfilling. even the various roles and positions you held within the group occupied a significant space within you.

until the day you laid your eyes on hong seunghan.

it was obvious that you would fall for him, who wouldn't?

it was like blinking, natural and predictable. you remembered the feeling of simply looking at him and thinking "it's him", nothing like love at first sight or that you were destined to be together – although seunghan sometimes swore to you that you had been made molded for each other. the feeling of falling in love with him was like sleeping and waking up, you didn't notice or remember how you slept but as soon as you opened your eyes in the morning you knew you had slept. you knew you loved seunghan.

your relationship lasted two years. you would remember these years fondly for the rest of your existence.

from his contagious laughter and humor to his sweet voice singing for you to rest in his arms as you both slept. your relationship was filled with love, passion and missing each other, you spent some time in the united states promoting your group and seunghan was preparing for riize's debut since the first months of dating. you more than anyone else hoped for the day he would be on stage with all eyes on him.

the void that was once filled only by stages and fans now also welcomed you with open arms every day as you returned home.

everything started to go wrong just before the group's debut. pictures of seunghan with an old girlfriend began to be uploaded on the internet a few weeks before the official debut day. you knew him, you would recognize his laugh amid thousands, knew exactly what displeased him and even the way he sneezed, so it was obvious that you knew about it and it was never something to bother you because when you two met you were almost adults.

that was the first ugly fight you had, you had never seen him so upset and nervous before that day. you had a stable career, SM had given a preview of your debut as an actress that year and would officially debut you in your fourth year with the group in a drama as the protagonist, you were extremely popular in the eyes of everyone and seunghan was not, he was far from it and would need to try hard to fix the situation, even though it was not a mistake.

you should have broken up, you and him knew that, but it didn't happen. you still don't know how but after practically begging your manager and him compassionately trying to resolve it, your relationship was 'forgotten' and the concern was turned to how to fix the situation.

and then seunghan finally debuted, it was one of the happiest days for both of you and despite all the confusion, the eyes really turned to him. now both shared that feeling of affection to the stage and fans, and at the end of the day returned to each other's arms.

everything seemed fine, but you knew it wasn't deep down, it seemed like a countdown to something neither of you could avoid. around him, he never seemed worried and nervous, always maintaining his sweet smile and calmly passionate eyes for you, but sometimes you could see how he drifted into a worried expression. it was a matter of two months until you broke up.

you didn't see that coming, you never would have.

you had been called to one of those meetings by your manager, it was nothing new. there was always an alignment or agenda adjustments meeting. you left the practice room as if nothing could happen, innocently even smiled at some people on the way. when you opened the door to the meeting room, you could see seunghan and his manager sitting on the other side of your manager's table.

the same boy you woke up that same morning. in his arms.

you can't remember what was said, what was agreed or arranged, but you broke up there, on that silly tuesday, in such a simple and cruel way. two years of your life were erased there in that small room of that big building. seunghan didn't look you in the eyes once or spoke. both of you spent all those minutes in pure silence. while you couldn't take your eyes off the transparent table and then him, he just sat there with no emotions in his face or eyes, it was as if you didn't know him at all. in the end when both of yours managers discussed about the risky relationship and how you and him couldn't keep it for the sake of both careers, he stood up with his manager from the room and then disappeared behind the door.

after that day, you never saw him again.

his hiatus was announced the next day and despite seeing the other members of his group and even interacting with them, you never heard his name or voice again. you didn't return to the apartment that once belonged to both of you until his things disappeared from there and you could move, and even if you had tried to contact him in moments of pure anger at how he could give up on you so easily, he never answered you, and you understood him. you could understand why he had given up, maybe in his place, you would do the same.

a month passed, all the awards and events came, Christmas and New Year also passed, all of them being the first time in two years that you did it without your boyfriend. he was nowhere to be found. the hearts of everyone around you forgot about it, but yours never did. despite all of that, the emptiness you felt was not even filled by fans, projects, or stages, and it continued to haunt you for a while.

until the day you laid your eyes on hong seunghan again, in the winter of the first month of the new year announcing his return to riize.

[magicalink]

Which part of me wasn't good enough?

Art by myangtao on twitter

So most people voted for me to post unfinished drabbles as they are so that's what this is: an unfinished drabble. I wrote it back in august of last year and it was for a collab from a user called bluexiao but that month was very agitated for me, I had lots of family things including helping my grandma recover from a surgery so I never submitted it on time :( And I still can't come up with an ending, so if you like it leave a comment and tell me how would you like it to end. Shall we add some comfort to this story or we leave ig at full angst? Lemme know your thoughts.

"Which part of me wasn´t good enough?” the little puppet had cried, looking up to the distant figure of his god. His creator, the mother who never recognized him.

“Don’t worry, dear boy, for you were always enough for me” you said to the puppet, tending your hand with your heart in it for him.

There was a brief moment of silence.

“Too bad you were never the one I wanted to mean something for” he said bitterly, averting his somber gaze from you.

You retreated your hand with your wounded heart inside of it back to your chest, which ached sharply.

“It’s okay,” you said with a trembling smile on your lips, hiding your pain “It’s normal” you still try to offer him some comfort “We are all not enough for someone we want to please with all our might at least once in our lives”

The silence was so deafening you could hear his uneasy breath. Tears started pricking your eyes, threatening to fall, but you held them in with all your strenght.

"Life can be so cruel sometimes" You muttered and he shooted a glance at you, filled with rage "We always pursue those who don't care about us and we despise those who would die for us," you lamented "Even now, this is the first time you finally look at me, and you do it hatred," you averted your gaze, quickly catching a tear with your thumb, hoping he didn't see it.

Your hands on your chest tend to your wounded heart, trying to soothe its feeble sobs.

The puppet huffed heavily through his nose, observing you with contempt.

"Why would I even look at you?" He barked, with the same lack of mercy he had learned from his mother.

You shook you head gently.

"I just wanted to dry your tears and give you all the affection I felt for you inside this heart." you whispered, said thing still glowing in the center of your bosom "It's not much, but it's all I have." you said, caressing it gently, waiting for it to heal.

His frown didn't leave his face, but this time he glanced at your treasure with interest. That was a heart? The relic he had been meant to hold but was deemed unworthy of?

Was that one yours?

"What would you have done with it? What's in it for me?" He asked cautiously, staring while pondering what to do.

A modest but tender smile perched on your lips.

"I would have hugged you, and craddle you in my arms and told you how much you mean to me. How much I love you with this little heart of mine."

Would that make him feel whole?

Was that all he needed? Would that heart fill the void in his chest?

If there was a possibility, no matter how fleeting it was, he had to have it.

"Prove it." he demanded with the authority he always believed his divine creation bestowed him, as if ignoring the fact that his cheeks were still stained with trails of tears.

You opened your arms for him, your heart shining brighter just by the thought of finally embracing him.

He observed the thing marveled. He wouldn't admit it, but it was far more fascinating than any divinely created machinery he had seen in his long and sad life.

He was ready to tear it away from your chest with a merciless strike of his sword.

But just as the thought was crossing his cold and desperate mind, all his violence was kept in place by your arms.

His eyes widened, shocked. You had closed the gap between the two of you to hug him.

He stayed immobile, unable to process your action, trying desperately to grasp all these new and strange sensations.

The warmth of your body, the softness of your skin, the smell of your hair...the sound of your heart.

He couldn't bring himself to close his eyes when his face was snuggled in your loving chest, your hands caressing his head with immense fondness.

The puppet had never experienced something like that.

After a lifetime of neglect and violence, it was shocking, it was confusing. So he stayed still, unable to process it but unwilling to let go. Bathing in the warm light of your heart.

Since he could not pronounce any more words, you decided to tell him the ones you had wished to tell him for a lifetime.

"You were always enough for me, dearest boy. The sweetest and most beautiful flower," you said, your cheek nestled on his hair.

"Why?" The puppet protested, tears of anger streaming again down his face. Those words were much more than those he wanted to hear from his god, from his mother. And that was the hug she never gave and would never give him.

Then he recieved the most beautiful gift, even if he was unable to appreciate it.

"Because I love you," you admitted, planting an adoring kiss on his head "I always have and I always will..." he grabbed your clothes as if about to push you away to protest "It doesn't matter if you don't love me back, it's okay. It's normal, sometimes our love is unrequited. We both know it very well don't you think?" you smiled at him.

"Why?" He complained, still nudging his head in the sun that was your chest "Why, if you know it? She said it," he cried again, his tears wetting your clothes "I'm fragile, and weak, and I have a hole in my chest that makes me feel empty! I'm not a god like her and I'm not a human like you! You should stay away from a puppet like me!" He exclaimed, taking out his anger on you again.

"If I had a heart like this..." he murmured, his hand making his way up to the center of your chest, where your relic was still shining. The thought of stealing it from you crossed his mind again.

But you stopped him again, cupping his face in your hands to look at him in the eyes.

"You feel a hole in your heart?" You asked, booping his nose with yours.

"Yes!" He whined, squirming in your grab trying to get away.

"And it hurts?"

"Yes!" He barked.

"And it makes you feel like you are empty inside?" You insisted.

"Are you deaf...?" He exclaimed.

"And does it make you feel lost and unlovable, and makes you wander lost through life, from one place to another because you feel you don't belong in any place?" You asked.

"Yes!" He shouted at this point, annoyed by your questions.

"Then what you have in there, my dear boy, is a human heart." you said, pointing the center of his chest with your finger.

He stayed still for a couple of seconds, staring at you, unsettled by your words.

"You are lying." he said, but it was more for himself than for you "You are lying to me." he, repeated, frowning at you in distrust "Look at yours! It's so clean, and warm, and it's shining! And you are so sure about what you want, even if you are insane for even thinking about getting near me!"

"That's because I don't deny it, and I take care of it." you said with a gentle smile "Mine also made me wander through lots of places, and has taken me back to you. And it hurts too. You made it hurt when you rejected it," you admitted with a tint of blush on your cheeks. "But I don't deny that pain, I let it hurt and take care of it to heal it, see?" You point at the mended cracks on it's surface.

"I made that?" He asked, looking closely at the healing wounds of your jewel "Even without my sword?" You nodded "And you're still willing to give it to me?"

Maybe there was no need to steal it from you.

You closed your eyes and sighed. You nodded again.

"Only if this time you accept it." you said, stepping back to cut the hug and taking a hand to your chest.

He wouldn't admit it, but he hated to let your arms go.

"I'll take it, for I was made with no heart and the one I was destined to yield was denied to me." he said, hypnotized by the green light of the treasure you were about to gift him.

You gently shook your head and looked at him with a tender smile. He wouldn't listen to words. He had to see it by himself.

You took your heart delicately and then you stretched it to offer it to him.

He took it with both hands, impatient and desperate, his tears finally drying.

It glowed intensely, warmly, it twinkled between his fingers, as if it was overjoyed of finally being with him. You observed him with a smile again.

But when he took it to his chest, nothing happened. It didn't fit. It didn't enter.

"Told you it wasn't going to work," he said, a knot tying his throat tightly. He was tempted to throw it away in anger, but he still held it to his chest where the hole ached sharply.

You shook your head, enveloping his hands in yours. He lifted his gaze to look at you.

"I told you," you whispered, leaning close to him, trying to comfort him with your warmth "It's because you already have a heart of your own. All you've been looking for was always inside of you." he shook his head too, unwilling to believe you, closing his eyes shut to avoid dropping more tears.

"It's just a hole." he cursed.

"Shh..." you hushed his angry cries, taking your lips to his forehead "It feels like a hole like any human heart. Because you have been denying it and starving it. You have to find it and feed it."

You wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He was getting used to your touch. Then you used you other hand to press your heart to his chest.

He leaned closer to you. The light was warm and cozy.

"See?" You said, pointing at his chest with your glance.

Sorry to cut it but this is all I've got to this drabble, if you got any ideas on how to end it lemme know😅