#but if he asks whats up im gonna just go a little hit ham

[charlattehotte]

I would umm like to stop finding out things

[sailorhyunjinz]

I always wonder how skz would react to an s/o with a LARGE SEX DRIVE SHSBDBS idk like guys r usually super horny but imagine if u were hornier than them HAHA

BRRRAH QUICK REACTION POST!

warnings: mostly dom!skz x gn!reader. impact play, nicknames, hickies, masturbation, exhibitionism, overstimulation, slight dacryphilia, sex toys, daddy kink, riding, degradation, dumbification. 

Bangchan: 

The thing is not that he wouldn’t like it,,, more like he would be tired?

Sure,,, he has good stamina but he would more prefer longer sex sessions that are more intimate and romantic rather than a bunch of quickies.

but thats like... 95% of the time, the remaining 5% is dicking you down so hard you won’t be able to walk because “you asked for it, you dumb fuck”

BUT THATS RARE

you would really have to get him worked up in order for that to work

and even then he would only go for maybe 2 rounds

“c-chan... one more time~” you said after cumming for the third time that night. “y/n, arent you sleepy?” he says, chuckling. you shake your head, “just one more time!” you say all giddy to which bangchan sighed. 

Minho:

ok now hear me out, im not gonna mix astrology in here,,, but i am going to mix astrology in here lmao

this boy a scorpio

a scorpio

meaning his intimate parts rule over his body (JUST SAYING TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT)

so he loves this. A LOT

any opportunity to be inside of you he’ll take

he’s hella horny and would like a s/o that matches that aura so HEY! fits perfectly (thats what she said)

show any sign of a sexual act and he wont hesitate to slam you against a table

legit as small as licking a lollipop 

“stop that unless you want my dick in your throat” he says, not even looking up from his phone as the sounds of you sucking a lollipop fills the room. you don’t stop, no, you go even harder. he looks up from his phone. “is that a yes?”

Changbin:

ahh... binnie binnie is head over heals for this

he finds it extremely hot that you initiate the sex most of the time

it shows that you really want him 

and he likes attention and feeling appreciated so this works

also has kind of a firey attitude

meaning that he gets worked up real quick

just like minho it doesnt take much for him to notice your sexual signs

“binnie~ i need you” you whisper in his ear as he’s working on something on his computer. you drag your lips across his neck and nibble on his ear before he turns around and glares at you with dark eyes. “princess/prince wanna play that game huh?”

Hyunjin:

shy to initiate so this makes it easier for him 

his stamina is relativly high

but i feel like there would be kiiind of a gap between the two of you since he’d be completely exhausted after a couple of rounds but you beg for more.

leaving him with no other choice but to give it to you

since he loves you too much to say no ><

i feel like he’d make fun of you for it 

LMAO I DONT KNOW WHY BUT JUST HE’D FIND IT FUNNY THAT YOU’RE ALWAYS SO DESPERATE

“hyunjin,, please!” you says in the nicest tone you could muster but only being mocked by hyunjin copying you in an annoying voice

“HyUnJiiinNn~” you burst into laughter, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “thats what you sound like y/n!!”

but nah most of the time he will take it but always with some playfulness first. 

Jisung:

HORNY TEENAGER JISUNG AGENDA

all the time

no matter where or when

some of yall are about to be real mad at me but it must be said HASHAHAH STOP CHER STOP

he just gives me this hormonal teenager vibe

and so there’s a lot of fucking in a lot of unconventional places

simply because his angel wants it

it even borders to him being even hornier than you but you find joy in that

you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve caught him watching porn or masturbating BECAUSE IT HAPPENED OFTEN

and everytime it would lead to heated sex that could last for hours

“h-help me y/n! dont just stand there s-staring” he says, blushing a bit as he openly strokes his dick infront of you. you shrug your shoulders, closing the bedroom door and inching closer to the warm boy.

Felix:

tough one to read... hmmm.... 

honestly he wouldn’t mind

sure he’d be tired 

and therefore he’d rather prefer seeing you ride a dildo or something

because then you’re satisfied and he doesnt have to do much

NOT THAT HE’S LAZY

just that he likes to cuddle and chill more than being inside of you all the time

he’s sensitive which has its pros and cons

pro: easy to get horny

con: easily overstimulated

WHICH SURE you’d find it fun to torture him by keeping him cumming over and over again

but poor boy would be crying in the end

which only added to your horniness OOP

“y/n,, s-stop please im begging you,, ahhgh..” he moans from underneath you, you putting him through his fourth orgasm which is causing him to shake and cry as you didn’t stop riding him. “mhm... but I wanna cum once more, not fair... you can cum so many times but I can’t! be a good boy and shut up, maybe i’ll let you go after this round”

Seungmin:

giving me that same energy that chan has

but this time instead of 95:5 its more like 65:35

meaning 65% romantic puppy that wants to take his time with you, roaming his hands all over your body and really connecting with you

and the other 35% well... more like relentless pounding, all covered in love bites and hand prints (im drooling)

he becomes all hard dom when he’s stressed and soo...

you get him stressed which ok you feel bad about but... he gets to release all his stress (and cum) on you and you get what you want 

DING DING DING! win-win situation!!

so yeah he would like it most of the time especially when you’re stressed and especially when you’re a brat

turning him on by rubbing on his lap but running away the next second

he likes to make you obey rather than you already obeying. 

he was watching tv peacefully when you suddenly plopped down on his lap, starting to squirm about when watching a tv show. he held you down by the waist. “shh stop” he says once with a bitter tone but you didn’t listen, only continuing to move and feeling his member getting harder. “Is d-daddy getting hard?” you coo at him with a mischievous voice to which seungmin sighed, his hands snaking around your upper body and wrapping around your neck, pushing your back against his chest. “little fucker wanna play with daddy”

oml why did this become so aggressive i have a lot of pent up sexual frustration ASHASHS

Jeongin: 

he’d find it really hot in the beginning

but what he didn’t realise was how tiring sex is 

yk teenagers! learning as they go (i like how im talking about this as if im older than him LMAO)

catch his search history being: “is it normal to have sex everyday” 

he’d be sore :(( 

and when he told you that he probably needed to just cuddle he felt bad because he always wanted to please you

but the two of you would find your ways around it

vibrators EHHEHE

especially those remote control ones

he’d just go ham with those I KNOW IT

because just like felix, you’d be satisfied and he could chill for the time being 

beg pretty enough and he’ll give you the real thing

“b-but i need you now jeongin! stop with that fucking controller!!” you try to snatch it out of his hand but fail. “say please” he says, looking at you with sweet brown eyes. “pl-pleaseeee~!” he melts into a puddle of blushes as he speaks “alright but only because you’re a good one” 

HEY THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN WRITING!! send in sum more, i’ll make them into short reactions like these because my requests for the “official” reactions is closed (will probably open shortly) but YEEEAH 

thank u anon for your very very smart brain and for requesting HEH >< 

also this is not proof read so ignore any mistakes OOP

[gayspock]

Gonna be cheeky and hit you with: all the TOS movies for the ask game

WATCH MY GOOFY ASS JUST GO HAM, BABYCAKES

I. TMP never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece i understand why the girlies hate tmp... i truly do. like- the pacing is bloody horrific, lacklustre dialogue, with bland introductions to ne wcharacters, and soooo many of its key elements ARE recycled elements from TOS. nonetheless, my love: whereas many LOATHE the long, drawn out exposition shots, i find the fucking visuals positively p*rnographic.... its ghorgeous.... bjeautiful<3. and dont get me STARTED on the love story, woven so tenderly into the narrative.. oh sniff sniff. its SO romantic, and i darent care what the girlies say for im oh so gooey... i truly am.

II. TWOK never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece i think generally speaking, of the tos movies i have seen twok definitely DESERVES its rep as probably... the best written one? i think thats what i hear the general consensus as, yah<333 its very good it truly is.<3 like its sooo solid- and I FEEL GOOFY NOT SAYING MORE ON IT, its just a good fucking movie baby!! genuinely iconic. and tyou kknow that scene fucking made me cry sniff sniff cry. you know it did....

III. SFS never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece NO SHUT UP BC SFS is one of my favourites ok sniff sniff... like- heavens above.... like- im going to speak my truth, here, yknow. i love the TOS crew- but in the actual series proper, a lot of them dont really get their dues, you know? and its a little hard to always click with them because of that- which is a shame bc like i do LOVE them theyre lovely little guys but yah... however between this and TVH literally i fell totally stupid in love with them all as a unit. is it a little artifical - oh so totally - but when they all just give up everything to just (as far as they know) let bestie spock Rest In Peace.... im going to kms. </3 like- the whole scene where theyre breaking bones out- im INSANEEEE FOR IT. PEAK OF CINEMA OF ALL TIME. and later on, like, gosh... ive considered getting a tat of the enterprise burning up in space, it sent me so beserk bananas. however this movie is also the fucking worst for everything that happens on that godforsaken planet. hi....... hellaur..... NO, bc literally i will gut whoever made those choices. demented in the head. saavik, baby girl, i am so so fucking sorry they did this to you. also rip david, i fucking guess? i keep forgetting he exists. christ.

IV. TVH never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece THEY WERE FUCKING INSANE FOR THIS ONE. THE MOVIE OF ALL TIME. YOU ARE FUCKING INSANE FOR THIS ONE MISTER NIMOY.

V. TFF and VI. TUC never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece I ACTUALLY still havent had the chance to see V and VI, funnily enough. i was going to watch them on my birthday- but thats been and gone, and i just kinda didnt... i wanted to save them for a special occasion (i got them downloaded and everything) but i really cant think when. some day. <3 im rlly excited for TUC lol

[wavbleu]

Dylan minette : In the studio

You walked into the studio, amazed, this was your first time looking at the new studio. You walked around and looked at all the flashing lights and all the little buttons and switches, everything seemed so high tech and it looked SO much better than the last old , used and crusty studio the band used to record in.

Your mood and hopes were high until you saw Dylan , he turned around in the Office chair and his face went blank when he saw your face.

You and him always had a bone to pick about something, anything even.

"Ugh" He groaned turning back around continuing to mess around and get the hang of things, "Fuck you too." you snapped at him. To mess with him, you took a seat in a nearby spin chair and scooted into him so close that your breath grazed across his pale skin and acted as curious as George.

You hovered next to him to see what was going on.

He looked at your curious face for a small second 'Why is she even here.' he thought to himself, his eyes lost grasp and began maneuvering itself down to your cleavage, he felt himself become hard as he had a perfect view of your soft and bouncy breasts and could barely see the browning of your nipple.

He had to stop himself before he lost control, he bit his lip to regain sanity.

"What do you want" he said pretending to be frustrated.

"To see what your up to." ,"Also i wanted to see the sweet new studio." You gazed around once again.

"Well you see it, can you leave me the fuck alone now." He gave you a dead stare and you returned it right back, "No need to be such an asshole, I know you like me." You teasingly said while getting up from the office chair, giving him a seductive shimmy and stare.

You took a seat on the comfortable memory foam couch that sat in the back of the the studio and scrolled through insta.

The room was silent for a few minutes, you scrolled through instagram mindlessly while Dylan was trying to mess with the new setup.

He then stopped in his tracks, and turned his chair to face you, "Fuck you honestly." He blabbered, "All you do is sit here, and you have no business around here, your fucking useless." felt like it was his goal mission is to piss you off, because its working.

You set your phone down irritated, "Why are you always on my dick leave me alone.", "You've been on me ever since I started being friends with you guys."

"Its because your an annoying bitch who adds nothing to this group!"

"You know what, fight me." You said putting your hair up. He looked at you intrigued, "Fight you?","Your a girl id whoop your ass"  he said with a sexist monotone, he watched as you prepped yourself to fight.

"Well at least i put up a fight.","One thing I'm not gonna let you do is be disrespectful to me." You wrapped your hair into a bun and took off your earrings.

You ran into him and tackled him, making him collapse hardly into the ground. He was surprised by your strength, you tried to slap him but he dodged and grabbed all your hits.

"Stop are you crazy!" He said trying to push you off his hardening dick hoping you wouldn't feel a thing, But you unfortunately did. You saw his embarrassed tomato red face.

Your eyes widened at the gross yet exciting feeling, "Why the fuck is he hard?" You thought to yourself trying to gather everything that happened in the moment.

"Did i make him hard?" you thought to yourself  cluelessly.

In surprise, he tackled you down and pinned you down by your wrists, making your arms and legs immobile, you couldn't do anything now. You were vulnerable.

He was panting heavily, he sounded like a dog in a hot summer evening, it probably sounds weird but his breath was sexy aswell?

"Can you calm the fuck down." he murmured nervously.

"Do i make you horny?" You asked him with a mischievous smirk, you watched him become a flustered mess, his words began to fumble trying to respond to your question and his face became even redder than before.

How cute.

"Wow i cant believe that i make my arch-nemesis hard." You boldly said, reaching your hand down to touch his throbbing dick. He was breathing so hard you could feel it on your skin.

He whimpered as you stroked his cock from his jeans, he wanted more of that "Im gonna ask again, and i want an answer."

"Do i make you horny?"  You say looking him deep in his eyes, his face was as red as a rose, in a breathy tone he replied.

"Yes.."

You pushed him off you and got on top of him again, beginning to take off your shirt. Your perfect boobs flopped out, revealing itself to Dylan.

You took off your bra and Dylan stared at you  erotically.

Immediately he goes to squish your boobs, you moaned softly as he played with your hard nipples.

You kissed him lustfully exchanging tongues and spit, you both moaned as you bit his bottom lip, almost making it bleed.

Not once in your life would you think you'd kiss Dylan, the guy who 'hated' you most.

But all this time he just lusted after you, he loved to see you angry, It turned him on.

Everything got heated really fast, Dylan began unbuckling his pants eager to fuck the shit out of you, and you did the exact same.

You pulled down your panties and threw them at Dylans face, he grabbed them and observed the wet spot on them it made him even hornier.

You sat on his dick and moaned in pain but pleasure, his size was unexpected. "Too.. big" You say as you struggled to take his dick into you.

It was throbbing and quaking inside your tight little cunt and you enjoyed that.

"Fuck your so tight" He said under his breath, impatiently, he grabbed onto your round hips and made you go in an up and down motion.

"Your so perfect." He said gripping your neck, he examined your curves then looked back at you "And sexy..." 

You bounced your ass on his dick, in reaction it created loud clapping noises. You were getting more used to his size at this point.

He moaned excitedly as he watched you turn into a slut, his little slut.

You continued to grind yourself needy on his cock, you were so close to cumming you just needed to hit that spot and then you would explode.

"Whats wrong baby?" He said as he watched you gasp and whimper in frustration, "Please fuck me in that spot." You said hoping he'd know.

"Since you asked so nicely, alright baby." ," Go get me a pillow."

You got up and grabbed burgundy the pillow from off the couch then went to go lay down, you stared confused at what he would do.

He lifted you up and placed the pillow under your lower back, and gently set you back down.

He slid himself inside you, hitting your g-spot directly, you moaned in complete pleasure.

Every time he stroked into you, he hit your g-spot every time, making you scream excitedly.

"Your legs are shaking so much princess.","Calm down." He began stroking alot hard than before, as if you would 'calm down' now. His dick was nearly submerged in your juices.

"Im gonna bust a load in you, and your gonna take it alright?" He said looking you in your eyes before going ham on your cunt.

"Im cumming yes yes yes!" Dylan growled at you "Don't fucking do it." he continued to pound himself ruthlessly into you.

"Fuck-" You said trying to keep yourself from busting, he decided to make it harder for you by rubbing your sensitive clit.

"Please Dylan." You said with begging eyes, tearing up even. He didn't care a bit.

"You cum when i say cum."

His strokes became irresistibly sloppy, his and your loud and needy moans filled the studio.

"Im gonna cum in you and i want you to cum with me, ok?" He kissed you then went to continue hitting your sensitive g-spot.

You lost control of yourself and came all over him, it got all over the wooden floors.

"Damn- baby-" He whimpered and moaned as it became hard for him to last, seconds later you could feel his hot cum in you.

He slowed down to keep from overstimulating himself.

"That was amazing." He kissed your lips and your neck softly, you smiled comfortably and satisfied.

"I still fucking hate you though." He said in a monotone voice.

_________________________________

Authors note: Hello😌 Im starting to explore some kinks after some extreme research! Drop some of your kinks if you want to!

[aceofspadegrass]

Soft niragi hours drunk texting gf.

GO!

(please, and thank you)

Characters: Niragi Suguru, his girlfriend

Genre: Fluff. Niragi's drunk off his ham.

1.2k words

It’s going to be in the POV of the girlfriend, which is a first for me, since I usually drift towards using the actual characters more. Still don't have a name for her, so it's just... never mentioned once.

Also, we’re going off the basis that phones do work in the Borderlands, but the only numbers that work are within the Beach members because somehow they’re just like that sometimes.

Be notified that there is the barest mention of just sex but it's so briefly glossed over that it's unimportant. Also, mentions of being drunk. Obviously.

Also I am gonna base drunk texting on A) how I imagine soft Niragi would text like, and B) Drunk texts I am reading online. Hope you don’t mind.

Oh, and I was this close to making Niragi’s nickname on the texting section Calf. You know, because baby giraffe.

The phone sits peacefully on the benchtop as she stirs together leftovers in the pan, wondering where her boyfriend has been. It’s been a while since he left to hang out with the other militants down at the bar, and she came down to the kitchen to make herself dinner. It sucked that she couldn’t have dinner with her beloved, but sometimes things kept them apart and they had to do things on their own. Still, she couldn’t wait to give him all the cuddles when he got back to their room, as well as give him smooches before bedtime.

She pauses her stirring for a second as she hears her phone cheerfully chime with a notification, pulling the pan off the heat as she checks.

Nini: honyyyyyyyyyyyy hiiiiiiiiiiiii mis yiu ;(

She giggles, her lips curling in amusement at the obvious state her boyfriend was in.

Kitten: hi niragi you good?

Nini: i miss youuuuuu

Nini: wannna

Nini: wanna hug you and kisss youu

Nini: wAnt to touch

Kitten: awwwww you miss me that badly? i love you too

Nini: ❤️❤️❤️

Kitten: ❤️❤️❤️ you too!!!

Nini: nuh uh love you more ❤️

Nini: love you soooooo muuuhchh wanan

Nini: can we buy a babyy

That earns a loud snort from her. That was quite a conversation switch. She was lucky nobody was in the kitchen with her. She glances at her leftovers, and slides them back onto the heat to finish cooking. She could watch both. Maybe.

Ah, she was probably gonna burn them. She could still try to multitask.

Kitten: what do we need a baby for?

Nini: so i can hold

Nini: both

Nini: babaabbabya

Nini: i wanna name it belc

Kitten: belc?

Nini: heah

Nini: best bame for best baby

Kitten: haha okay

Kitten: i would love to raise a family with you

Kitten: be the most kickass family of all!!!!!

Nini: yeahhhhhh

Nini: gonna be so strong!!!!!!!

Nini: hey hey hey hey

Kitten: yes?

Nini: imma win this bet watch me

Kitten: okay! you can do it niragi!

There was nothing, leaving her to be able to focus on her food, which somehow hasn’t burnt, and she plates it and heads outside to the tables to eat. Her phone pings with a new text as she sits down and begins to eat.

Nini: i wondid you se did youseee

Kitten: of course! you did it!

Nini: yeha!!!!!!!

Nini: im the greatest person

Kitten: yes you are

Kitten: do you want me to come grab you later so we can cuddle?

Nini: you read my mindd!

Nini: of course i do kitten please i want your cuddledse

Kitten: just let me eat first okay?

Nini: okay take care love you!!!

Kitten: <3

Nini: <333

Kitten: <3333333333

She smiles as she sends that last heart to Niragi, and goes back to eating her food, hurrying just a little more. She couldn’t wait to be with Niragi, even if he was drunk off his mind. Maybe she could get him some water to ease him, and then head down to the infirmary to grab him some hangover pills. She would hate it if he woke up with a headache, it sounded terrible.

She doesn’t even clean up as she shovels the last bit of food into her mouth, getting up and speed walking towards the bar, pulling out her trusted kitty headband from a special pouch she kept on her and putting it on her head to make her search decades easier. It was full of people partying and drinking their cares away in alcohol, and a few mating rituals here and there. She ignores it though, heading over to a rather secluded VIP area near the back of the bar. A few militants were there, some who greet her with a casual wave.

She doesn’t really manage a greeting back as a blur of black pounces on her, the smell of alcohol hitting her nostrils. Niragi giggles happily as he squeezes her, rubbing his face against her, making her laugh.

“ You came~” Niragi purrs happily into her crook of her neck. She cards her fingers through his hair, which was still greasy from the amount of whatever he slapped in there that morning. She lightly tsked at that. She needed to give it a proper cleanse one of these days. Niragi would probably love having the softest hair imaginable than whatever the hell this was.

“ Of course I did! I wouldn’t have left you alone to be drunk on your own!” She gently pushes him away so she could reach his face, kissing his nose, Niragi grinning dopily at that. “ Ready to head back?” “ Fuck yeah I do~ Cuddles with my girlfriend are the best! Hey everyone! Look at my girlfriend!” He shouts out to the entirety of the world that resided there, pulling her close to him. A few just look to them and take a silent acknowledgement, others clapping for him with several different emotions attached. She giggles and wraps her arms around the back of his neck, resting against him.

“ Okay you dork, come on. The longer we stand here, the less we have to- Eep!” She yelps as Niragi scoops her up and starts fucking running, laughing all the while.

“ I wanna cuddle now! Time’s wasting!” She laughs, holding onto him as he runs in his clear drunk state, somehow managing to get quite far. That is, until he trips on literal air and they go flying, landing on the ground. She grunts, her butt taking most of the brunt, Niragi not that far and on the ground face down. He rolls over with a drunken giggle before she could ask if he was alright, grinning at the ceiling.

“ Oopsie.” Niragi slurs quietly, and she comes over, brushing away hair that fell in front of his face. “ No problem! Come on, we’re so close. We can walk normally! Don’t worry, I have my trusty headband on, so we will get there instantly!” Niragi’s eyes brighten despite how far away they were, and his lips curl even higher.

“ Then what are we- We waiting for! Come on!” He tries to get up, stumbling a bit. She giggles and grabs her boyfriend’s hands, carefully pulling him up. She keeps one in her hand as they walk hand and hand down the hall, heading up to their room for much needed cuddles.

“ When we finish cuddling, you’re gonna drink some water so it doesn’t hurt as badly, okay sweetie? Then I can grab you some pills for the morning.”

Niragi hums with his smile still plastered on his face, squeezing her hand a little. “ You’re- You’re soooo good to me. You’re fucking great~” “ So are you! Now come on, it’s about time!” She opens the door, pulling her boyfriend in. Niragi loudly cheers, making her laugh even more.

Man, she loved this sweet man so much.

[justsomefluff]

Hey I saw your ateez reaction to the reader still using their baby blanket and was wondering if you could do one like that but instead the reader still sucks on their thumb when they sleep ( I still do that, it's kind of embarrassing lol but I cant sleep if I dont 😳🥺😗)

you're so cute aw I hope you like this <3

Hongjoong:

you're his baaabbbbyyyyy

adores you so much

and the first time you guys have a sleepover you're nervous about it

and you're worried you won't be able to fall asleep

of course you haven't told him yet bc you haven't needed to

but when youre in bed and all snuggled up together

you can feel yourself getting drowsy

you cant actually fall asleep because you just need that comfort yk

eventually he falls asleep and you're like FINALLY

plan to wake up before him to hide it

but you fail

you're too comfy cozy when you actually fall asleep

and when I say you could have slept forever right there? I mean it

so when Joong inevitably wakes up before you and sees your thumb in your mouth?

he uwus so hard he falls out of the bed

the thump wakes you up and you yank your thumb out of your mouth, embarrassed

you look down on him from the bed and ask if he’s okay

he just stares at you with so much love in his eyes

clutching his chest with his hands

“you- you're so cute”

Seonghwa:

Mama Hwa… ACTIVATE

I feel like seonghwa is the kind of boyfriend who likes being very upfront with things like insecurities and stuff

And by the time you guys start spending the night together, you know this

So you know you’re gonna have to tell him straight up

And when you do you’re super nervous and he gets worried

Like he doesn’t want to be the reason that you look so uncomfortable right now

Wants you to be able to talk about anything with him without fear of being judged

So encouraging and doesn’t push you to tell him anything

Wants you to come to him in your own time

Even though he’s drowning in worry and he wants to know so bad

“I need to suck my thumb to go to sleep please don’t think im weird I won’t do it here if you’re uncomfortable-“

“ITS OKAY”

Like oh… he’s cool with it

In bed that night, he just snuggles up right behind so that you can comfortable do your thing

As long as he gets to hold you? As long as youre comfortable and peaceful?

That’s all he needs

Yunho:

He honestly doesn’t care as long as it doesn’t get in the way of cuddling

When you tell him and you’re so nervous about it that you’re shaking

He just holds your hands and looks at you so fondly

The look in his eyes alone is enough to calm you down

He’ll lean down a little bit, kiss your forehead, and pull you in for a hug

Just kind of rocks you both back and forth

Stays with you until you’re able to process the information lol

Like…he’s really okay with it… Yunho best boy

Waits until you calm down a little bit

Reassures you the entire time

Just tells you how much he loves you and how perfect you are the entire time

When you find your voice again and ask him if he’s really okay with it?

He’ll lean down sweetly and whisper in your ear

“Yes, but if it gets in the way of cuddles?” 

“Im gonna be pissed”

But that makes you laugh a little bit and you promise him you would never let anything get in the way of his cuddles

“Promise?” 

“Promise”

Yeosang:

When you bring it up to Yeosang, he’s already half asleep

But you figured you should tell him anyway so that he isn’t surprised in the morning

Since he’s groggy and isnt really fully aware

Looks at you with big eyes and offers you his thumb

“MY THUMB NOT YOURS”

He looks a little relieved, no lie

But you have a good chuckle about it

“I’m just saying you could use mine if you needed it, I have two of them”

“So do I”

“Still…”

Either way he doesn’t care

He really would let you suck his thumb if you really wanted lmao

Just does not care

Just do what you gotta do to get to sleep

As long as it doesn’t interrupt his sleep? His snuggles? Does not matter

Makes you feel really comfortable

Because he doesn’t push you to give him a reason 

Doesn’t ask questions, just kind of accepts it as a part of you

Will fall asleep before you and you’re just kinda like

Sigh of relief

Happy with your absolutely perfect boyfriend who somehow manages to get even more perfect with every conversation you have

San:

San strikes me as one of the easiest people to talk to

Especially if you’re dating

Just makes you feel so safe and at home that you’re able talk about any topic you need to

Even if you’re nervous to bring something up, he makes it so easy to talk about

So when you tell him you want to talk about something

He’s so willing and receptive

Like yes, tell me everything and I will do whatever I can to help

Having this conversation might be a little bit more difficult for you if you’re really insecure and worried about what he will think about you afterwards

But he will just wait for you

Never pressures you for the sake of time or anything

Just wants to be there for you until you’re ready

Telling him goes extraordinarily well

He’s like “that’s not weird… I mean I sleep with Shiber the majority of the time. Its not really that much different. If it’s what you need, then I’m okay with it”

Happy, loving boy smile

You love that he is able to compare the things you do to make you feel more normal

Just so amazing at making you feel understood

In this house we are soft for Sannie

Mingi:

So you really wanna bring this up to him before you have your first sleepover

But if he senses that something is bothering you???

Worried boyfriend system: ON

He immediately assumes that he did something wrong

And when you assure him that it isn’t anything that he did?

He’s like WHO HURT YOU

And you’re like… I did? Lmao 

Like who hurt me? ME

And he assumes you’re injured 

Wrong again, my dear

He’s full sweating by the time you finally tell him what’s on you’re mind

And he takes the biggest breath

Like THANK GOD

He’s just happy its nothing he did lmao

Literally his response is “oh, ok whatever it’s cool”

And he just moves on from it, no need to dwell

It doesn’t change his opinion of you so? NEXT

Wooyoung:

Okay so you know Wooyoung is a ham okay

And thats why you’re worried

Like you know he would never hurt your feelings on purpose

But he might do it accidentally bc this is something that genuinely makes you insecure

So if he makes fun of it, it will hit you where it hurts, even if he doesn’t mean it

You tell him you need to talk… wrong way to start this conversation okay let me tell you

“ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME PLEASE NO”

“WOOYOUNG NO SHUT UP LET ME FINISH”

“Oh”

When you finally get the courage to blurt it out

He damn near laughs at you

Like “THATS IT?!”

“…I guess that’s it”

“As long as you arent breaking up with me”

like… “I was worried you would break up with me after I told you”

“No, dumb, never”

Gives you a hug and a kiss and spends your first sleepover giving snuggles and loving on you

Jongho:

Protective boyyyyyyy

Just wants the best for you, always

So open to talking about things

Also really perceptive

Know you’re worried before you do

“Do you need to talk? I’m here if you do”

Like he’s so loving im cry

Telling him is a breeze

He calms you down and offers conversation before you realize youre ready to tell him about this habit of yours

Will tease you a little

“Oh my literal baby”

“Shut up”

“Wait… is that more comforting than my cuddles wtf?”

And then you have to reassure him that his cuddles are the most comforting and you love them

And thats how he got you to forget about your worries

Because he made you have to comfort him

Jongho psychologist 

[blackberry-gingham]

Got to be honest... I love the mermaidau! theme too. Could you pls give us a pt2 cause I need to know how is their rlp gonna evolve. (Feel like even writing a hole 2k word fanfic with this au and im not ashamed 😂)

(Pst, anon is referring to this request!)

Mwaaaha yeeees... YEEEEES !!!! I'm so glad you guys like this au lmao 😂😂 All I have to say is, I hope y'all can come through with this mermaid au when summer hits, bc that's my JAM 😤

Even if I don't get another mermaid au request until then, like please y'all, I'm begging you lol

But anyways, tumblr has decided that doing all four on here is too long, so I’m posting half now and I’ll link Paul and Ringo before the day’s over! (Also bc I lost like half of Ringo's story last night, and I have to rewrite it, so rip :') ) Enjoy!

Paul and Ringo this way!

George

It's quite a bit before George can see you again

He had to take up a job, even with school, and practice, and family, and friends, and the occasional gig... just to save up

But when he finally got enough to buy that bike... It was all worth it

It's almost as prized a possession as his guitar, and the very next day after purchasing it, he loads up a blanket and some food and heads off for the lake

The ride from home to the water is a bit long, but nothing he can't handle

At long last, he arrives at the tiny pier and he can hardly contain himself as he sets the kickstand and grabs his things

He rushes down and sets up shop

In his excitement, George has forgotten to consider whether or not you'll even show...

But he doesn't want to give up yet

So he waits

And waits

And after a few hours pass by, he decides he might as well have his lunch instead of skipping rocks and wading in the water all afternoon

George swims over to the edge of the pier and clasps into the plank to hoist himself up

But before he can complete the maneuver, he finds himself jerked back down again

It's gentle enough that he doesn't get submerged, but it's certainly enough to give him a start

He splutters and flails a little, turning around as quick as he can to see...

Oh, it's you...

George breathes a sigh of relief, even as your eyes watch him from just above the water line, your hair floating on the surface like an angel

Your eyes go wide in excitement, and you peak your head all the way above the water, giving a soft gasp of surprise

"It is you! I can't believe you came back!"

George's heart hammers in his chest, whether it's from the surprise, the physical activity, or something else... He doesn't know

"O-of course I am! I said I would, didn't I?"

You laugh, "So you did! ...By the way, what have you got up there?"

George looks over his shoulder to the picnic basket that's clearly in view, then back at you

He waves you over and pulls himself up at last

When he's turned around, you've disappeared and George's heart drops

Well, not for long. A moment passes, followed by a huge splash as you jump from the water to the pier

It's not a perfect jump, as you need to pull yourself up a bit, but you make it well enough

George is halfway through unloading the basket, but he finds himself incredibly distracted by your tail

He doesn't mean to be rude it's just... It's almost like you weren't real before now

The tail is nearly twice the length that human legs would be. It tapers all the way down to a fine and delicate point that flares out into a transparent, forked fin

There are smaller fins like this along the rest of your tail, George notes, providing gorgeous accents to your shimmering iridescent scales

You swish your tail behind you, feeling a bit shy

George shakes himself out of his stupor, "Oh, sorry! I just... Wow"

You huff a laugh and mumble a thanks, not quite out of the awkwardness

"Um, here, I brought you something", George hands you a carefully wrapped sandwich

You give it a sniff and wait for George to taste his first

It tastes fantastic. Unlike anything you've ever had before

George tells you it's called a "ham and cheese"

Before you know it, the two of you jump into a whole conversation about life above and below water

You talk all afternoon and into the evening. George, doesn't even realize how low the sun's set until he takes a moment to stretch and look up

"Oh, I suppose you should be going..."

"Yeah..."

George looks at you and then the water one more time

It's like a pool of gold out there, the orange and yellow reflecting so beautifully on the water

"Say, how about one more swim?", George nods towards the water

Needless to say, you both race in for a last dip

You swim laps around George as he move slowly through the water, and you find yourself growing bored rather quick

"Ugh, here hold on!", You laugh and roll your eyes as you latch onto George from beneath

He doesn't protest, and you tow him easily back and forth through the water

It's not as fast as you could go, but it's faster then George has ever achieved on his own

It's actually great fun, but all things must end, and after a few rounds you glide to a stop surrounded by golden ripples

You sigh and look around, letting him go, "Sorry, it's late. I didn't mean to get so carried away..."

George wades just inches away from you, "No no, it's alright! I um, I had fun"

"Really?", You smile

"Really...", George floats a little closer to you, and you can feel his warm breath caress your hair, "In fact, m-maybe we could do this again sometime?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..."

Before he even gives a thought to what he's doing George's lips meet yours halfway, pressing far softer then you'd expect from a rough teddy boy like himself

It's one of those kisses where you don't even have to think, or give subtle hints

Everything just feels right

Your heart does a flip when you separate, and George sticks by his promise

It gets to the point where you have a schedule to meet each other, getting the most out of your daylight hours

From now on, no more waiting

Just you, and him.

John

John's been visiting you for quite some time now, bringing you shiny things on occasion, but mostly just enjoying your company

You're on a first name basis and everything

It's strange almost, John feels quite special

After all, he might be the only lad in all of England to befriend a mermaid!

Although lately, he's been feeling... Different about you

He must be mad

But it's just...

You're so sweet, and kind, and you listen and understand him like no one else ever has before, an-

Ugh

He must be going mad

That would certainly explain why he's buying you a locket with his latest savings

It may be from a second hand store, but he knows you'll love it

The locket is shaped like a heart and made of brass

The metal is a bit tarnished but the small heart shaped ruby in the center is bright as ever

It's perfect

John takes it home and hides it away from Mimi

She doesn't know about you, but she has some suspicions about a girl...

That's certainly not something John wants to talk about, so he's trying to be as covert about you and him as possible

But before he can hand off his gift to you, he needs to sneak one of Mimi's pictures of him

She has a few up in the attic, which John is easily able to swipe and cut out to fit in your locket

There. Now it's perfect

John gets a good night's rest and heads out bright and early to your cove the very next day

He arrives to find you splayed out on a bed of shells and trinkets, sun bathing

"Hello birdy!"

You spring up and turn to face him, "Johnny!"

Patches of sand stick to your skin, shimmering like glitter in the sun

John whips off his leather jacket and shirt as he goes to sit beside you before removing his boots and socks as well

It's a bit of a custom for him ever since he started feeling comfortable around you

The beach is rather hot, yes, but more so, he likes that you make him feel confident enough to take all that off in the first place

You don't know this, but it's a huge sign of the trust he has in you

The two of you talk and catch up a bit on the few days you were apart

John tells you about school, and you about your adventures at sea

Both of you are equally fascinated about each other's worlds, and both wish a bit that they could live like the other does

You've offered to take John out to sea, but he's not to keen on wading that far out in the ocean

When the conversation starts to run dry, John remembers his gift at last

"Oh by the way, I brought you something..."

You perk up, not suspecting anything other then the usual shiny pebble or coin

But then again, John seems... Different

You could swear you see a blush climbing his cheeks

"I uh, saw this and thought of you...", He holds out an old, worn locket. The Ruby heart and tarnished brass flash and glint in the sunlight, mesmerizing you

You gasp softly, and reach for it slowly, as though you're dreaming

"Do you fancy it?", John asks nervously

"John, this is beautiful..."

You click the heart open and reveal a raggedly cut picture of John smirking back at you from behind a heart shaped lid of glass

You trace your finger along the picture's edge, a trance like glaze over your eyes

"I um, I thought maybe you could wear this one... You know, that way you could always have me with you when you go out to sea... Or... Something", John mumbles, wondering if he sounds even half as stupid as he thinks he does

He peaks over at you once, then twice as you look at it in silence

"It's alright, you don't have to-"

"Could you put it on me?"

John looks stunned, as though he's surprised you actually like his well thought out gift

"Uh, I- sure"

You hand him the necklace and turn

John lifts it over your head and lowers it slowly

The metal is warm from John's hands as it touches your skin, and John fastens the clasp in a jiffy

"There you are..."

You turn around again, eyes shining brightly with joy, the heart clasped in the palm of your hand

A knot forms in John's stomach, seeing you look so happy with him like that, and suddenly he feels sick

He has to say it

He knows be does

He has to tell you now, or it's going to kill him

And yet, if he does tell you, that might kill him too

"Ugh, I must be mad..."

You quirk an eyebrow, "Wha-?"

"I love you", John blurts it out as though it was tortured out of him

It's not very sweet, or romantic, or charming...

No, it's actually much more like he just spat on the sand and continued on

But you know John by now, and to you, it's more then enough

You put your hand over his and lean in to press a gentle kiss to his burning cheek

"I love you too Johnny"

John's breath hitches in his throat, and looks at you with a gaze he's never given any other woman in the world

"Really?" His voice is the barest of whispers

But you don't need to answer, John is already pulling you in for a kiss as he lays back on your small pile of treasure

It's not his first make out session, and it won't be his last

But with you? Right here, on the beach, in the warm sun, laying cozied up on his bare torso?

It's the one he remembers most, for all his life

[brelione]

Kind Of A Cinderella Story (Sarah Cameron X Reader)

 Request:37 from prompt list 2 with Sarah?+More Sara Cameron dating a Gardener pls

Warnings:This is trash and for some reason took me like three hours to write.Isnt proof read,implications of smut kind of.

Sarah was sick of her life.It was the same thing over and over again.She had to pretend to be this elegant,proper girl when all she wanted ot do was have fun.She felt like a puppet,being told what to wear and who to hang out with.She ahd been set up with countless kook boys that wanted nothing other than a girl to use as a sex object.She hated it.

Everyone thought that she was some perfect kook queen with no problems in her life but they couldnt be more wrong.People called her a whore for cheating on her boyfriends but all she wanted was to be loved.Like,genuinely loved for something other than her appearance.It was a process of trial and error.Ward would introduce her to one preppy kook boy with gelled back hair and toxic masculinity in a never ending cycle,hoping ot find the perfect fit.

Little did he know that she didnt want any kooks there was.She didnt even want any boys,no matter eif they were a pogue or a kook.Her heart was set on one pogue girl that didnt know how to match her pants to her shirt and had pierced her nose with a paperclip.She found her heart speeding up,trying not to smile or let out a nervous laugh whenever she saw said pogue even walk by.

You had always envied the kooks.While you worked at a bakery for 16 hours three days a week,living from pay check to pay check they were living it up in their huge mansions and getting their nails done with diamonds and gold.

You didnt even have a refrigerator or a microwave,you just kept what needed to be cold in a cooler that you had found on the side of the road two years ago.The bakery could only pay you so much so you decided that you might need another job.

It was either that or start stealing things.You chose the first option,unfortunately.Upon hearing that Ward Cameron was looking for someone to plant flowers and cut weeds in his garden you had volunteered for it.That’s what got you to this point,mud on your cheekbones,little scratches on your palms as you secured another bundle of impatiens into the soil.

The grass was still damp from the early morning rain,you were obviously tired and planning on going back to bed once you got back home.That was when the kook princess,Sarah Cameron,came running out of her house with a butter knife in her hand,demanding to know who you were and what you were doing in her backyard.You wiped your slightly bloody hands on your jeans,grinning.

  “Im the gardener,Ward hired me last week.”You explained,smiling when a look of realisation came across the kook’s face,dropping the butter knife into the grass. “Oh-im so sorry!Im Sarah,they didnt tell me they hired you so I got scared.”She looked down at the butter knife,a blush coming across her cheeks.

After that first encounters she was desperate to speak to you again,having to wait a whole week until you came around to pull the weeds from the garden.She had considered stomping on the plants so you’d be forced to stay around longer but that would be pretty rude of her if she wanted to make a good impression.She had checked the weather,seeing that it was gonna be over 100 degrees.

That meant she had a perfect reason to speak to you without being strange.She’d come out after ten minutes of you being there and offer you a cold drink inside and when you were distracted with your drink she’d ask you questions about yourself and then boom.

You two would fall in love.It sounded like a great plan in her head.The night before the day you were due to come over she had set a blue gatorade in the fridge,preparing.But then she saw you out her window and became weak.Her legs were shaking as she took the gatorade out of the fridge,pacing around the kitchen with teh bottle in hand,taking in big breaths as she prepared herself. 

With one last,deep breath she opened the back slider door,putting a smile on her face as she walked up behind you as you put long weeds into a bucket,your sleeves rolled up and sweat on your face. “Weather kind of sucks today,figured you needed a drink.”She licked her lips,wanting to redo.That just didnt sound right at all.You looked up at her,squinting from the sun that shined around her almost like a halo.

 “Thanks,climate change is a real bitch.”You took the gatorade,opening it and taking a sip,some of the blue energy drink dripping down your chin. “Oh my god,I know.Don't even get me started on whats happening with the sharks in New England!The government is full of shit!”She exclaimed,not as nervous as she had been before.

You nodded in agreement. “Yeah,just like our oceans!In twenty years there will be more plastic than fish,I hate this world so much.”You sighed,sitting in the grass as you took another sip of the cold drink. “Do you want to come inside and talk about this?We’ll both get sunburned if we stay out here too long.”her hands went to her pockets,something that always happened when she was anxious.

You shrugged,standing up. “Yeah,ok.”You replied,following her.You were hesitant to actually step inside the house,figuring one of the tiles was probably worth your whole paycheck.You sat awkwardly at the counter,drinking the gatorade until there was barely anything left.

She grabbed you a water bottle and offered you a sandwhicih.You said yes of course,thanking her when a ham and cheese sandwich on a blue plate was placed in front of you. “You know what else I hate?”You asked,taking a small bite off the corner of the sandwich.She hummed,looking up. 

“How organizations protecting endangered species are being defunded by the government!It’s trash.”You sighed,becoming increasingly more angry.SHe nodded,agreeing. “Same with deforestation!If the government was taking away tv’s everyone would freak out but of course when they cut down our source of oxygen its fine!”She smacked her palms off the table.

 “I say we poison them all with wolfsbane and give Mother Nature her shit back.”You wiped some mustard from your cheek,making her grin.Once you finished the sandwich you insisted on getting back to work,groaning when the sun hit your skin again.She had sat by the pool,telling you that you could go for a swim when you finished working if you wanted to.

You tugged dandelions from the garden,it was your last task of the day which meant that you got it done as quick as possible,placing them into the bucket when you got a good idea.You took them back out,forming the weeds into a crown of yellow,grinning at your creation before presenting it to Sarah. “Figured the queen needed a crown.”Was al you said,placing it on her head before flashing a peace sign and beginning your walk home.

Sarah waited another seven days to see you.The sun didnt shine so bright,her hair felt lifeless and her smile just couldnt look right.She felt herself falling for you,not even bothering to fight off the feelings.Tuesday night,the night before you would be coming over she prepped herself.She made a ham and cheese sandwich with mustard and lettuce,wrapping it up and putting it in her fridge along with a blue gatorade.

She practiced how to do a cute bun that she had seen on her pinterest feed,picking out an outfit that would make her look nice without being too over the top.She ended up showering at two in the morning,making sure she would smell nice and her hair wouldnt be greasy.She woke up with drool tunning down her chin,her alarm loud.She groaned,wiping her face and checking the time.

She had a text from her dad to let her know that he and Rose had taken Wheezie to the beach and Rafe was off doing whatever it was that Rafe does.She sat in her living room,staring out the window as she waited for you to appear and walk around her house into the backyard.She grinned when she saw you,light overalls and a rainbow striped shirt,deep tan work boots and a tired look on your face as you opened the gate in the fence,walking around to the backyard.

She let out a soft sigh as she wiped her hands on her shirt,making sure there were no wrinkles as she grabbed the sandwich from the fridge,tucking it under her arm and holding the gatorade in her hand,opening the slider door with the other.She closed it,the hot humid air hitting her in a huge contrast from the cold air conditioned house.

 “Hey,Sar.”You grinned,noticing that there wasnt much work that need to be done today.She held out the wrapped up sandwich to you along with the drink,crossing her arms awkwardly. “Do you want to come inside?”She asked,peeling at her white nail polish.You licked your lips,standing up and brushing off your pants before picking up the gatorade and sandwich,sitting at the kitchen table and eating. “So like,can I ask you a question?”She asked,leaning her elbows on the table.

You raised an eyebrow at her,swallowing the sandwich that you had in your mouth with a swig of gatorade. “I hate when people ask that.Are you gonna ask if I murdered someone cause the answer is no.”You said quickly,trying not to let your brain run wild.

You hadnt done anything wrong.Maybe you fucked up the order fo the flowers? “Oh,oh cool.But um….Like,what would you do if I accidentally kissed you?”She asked,making your eyes widen.Her heart beat only got quicker as the monet of silence lasted longer,a tension growing between the two of you.

 “I dont know...thats never happened before.”You answered,avoiding her eyes.She blushed,leaning down quick and pecking your lips,pulling away just as quick. “Love that.”You answered,biting your lip lightly,trying not to laugh. 

“Love you.”She answered,her face beet red.You smiled,looking up at her. “Love you too.”You answered,hearing the door open a few seconds later,Wheezie walking in,her skin slightly more tanned than it had been when she left. “Uhh...hi?”She frowned,looking at you but deciding not to question it before going up the stairs and into her room.

Ward and Rose came in soon after her,the same look on their faces. “Arent you the gardener?”Rose asked,coming into the kitchen and pouring herself a glass of wine. “She’s done with her work for the day.”Sarah answered quickly,looking over to Ward.

He didnt say anything,feeling that there was something going on between the two of you but deciding to stay quiet.You and Sarah had been dating in somewhat secrecy for a month and you no longer came over on just Wednesday’s to pull weeds.You came over pretty much everyday,going swimming or going to the beach with your lovely girlfriend.

You laid on your stomach on her bed,head on one of her many pillows,the show Lucifer playing on her large tv. “We should do something.”She spoke confidently,a mischevious grin on her face.You sighed,sitting up. “Like what?”You asked,knowing that she would probably suggest something ridiculous.

She smirked,grabbing her purse. “We’re gonna go shopping.”It wasnt even a question,just a straight out statement.You shook your head,going back to laying down when she grabbed at your ankles,trying to drag you off the bed. “Please?”She pouted,trying to get you to crack.

You simply rolled your eyes,reminding her that you didnt have the money for that type of thing.She sighed,grabbing your hands and pulling you up but you refused to go down without a fight,purposely pushing her backwards by wrapping your arms around her like a toddler. 

“No.”You muttered,your nose in her blonde hair.You stared ahead of you,passing by trees and large houses,getting to the rich kook side of the island near the shopping boutiques and gold clubs. “I hate you.”You sighed as she pulled into a shop parking lot,a grin on her face. “I love you too.”She answered,opening the car door for you and making you get out. 

“What if I buy you icecream after?”She asked,trying to get you to be less miserable,succeeding when your face lit up. “Like the fancy kind in a dipped waffle cone with the sprinkles?”You asked,willing to try on clothes if it meant getting to the sweet cold treat.

She nodded,complying with your request,holding your hand and bringing you inside.It didnt feel right for you to be here,even the lights looked expensive.There werent even carts,fabric bags instead.Thats how you could tell just how expensive everything here would be.  “Sarah,this is ridiculous.”You mumbled as she dragged you over to some t shirts that had stripes but even they looked expensive,the material thick and durable between your fingers.

You gripped the price tag,eyes widening. “This shit is $130!”You exclaimed,letting go of it.She smiled,shaking her head. “Suck it up,buttercup.”Was all she had to say,finding your size and placing it into the fabric bag when a worker came up to the two of you. “Can I help you ladies?”He asked.You answered a wuick no but was overpowered by Sarah. “Yes,yes please.

Im thinking a whole new vibe for her,maybe like eighties meets surfing.”She tried to explain her ideas,somehow the sentence made sense in the man’s head as he guided the two of you through the store,showing you both sundresses,ripped jeans,pastel collared shirts,headbands and earrings.

He watched from a far as Sarah held up the clothing next to your body,holding others near your hair as she tried to decide on what she wanted you to try on.She decided a light yellow shirt,some light washed jeans,a pair of shorts that were dark blue with gold stars,a purple sweatshirt with the word ‘lovely’ on it,a set of cream colored underwear with a matching bra,a gold headband with flowers on it,a pair of boyfriend jeans,or as she called them,girlfriend jeans.

You didnt even give an opinion on any of the clothes she was putting into the bag,thinking about what kind of icecream you were going to get,snapping out of your thoughts when she told you to start trying things on.

She had requested that you took mirror pictures in everything you tried on and asked that you send them to her as she went to the jewelry counter,supposedly getting a spot on her gold necklace fixed.You took your time trying on clothes,trying not to become to insecure about it.

You took the photos quickly,plowing your way through the outfits,getting to the set of bra and panties.You slid on the underwear over the ones you were already wearing,seeing the sign on the dressing room wall that said not to try on undergarments on your bare body.You simply pulled on the bra over your breasts,not seeing a policy for that.

The fabric was soft and the bra held up your breasts perfectly,the cream colored lace straps tickling your skin.You snapped a few photos in the set,feeling a bit of heat rush to your face when the door opened,Sarah sticking her head in. “Are you checking yourself out?”She asked,a smirk on her face.You placed your hands over your face,laughing.

 “Shut up.”You answered,letting her see what you looked like in the set.She did indeed shut up,biting her lip as she looked you up and down. “Yeah,we’re buying that.”She nodded,asking to see the photos and closing the door behind her.You scrolled through the photos,her head on your shoulder and kissing it lightly as she looked at them,nodding.

 “Ooh that sweater is cute as hell.”She took the phone,zooming in. “So lets go look at some bathing suits and maybe get you some more bras...and then we can leave.”She grinned,gulping as she tried not to let her thoughts get the best of her.

You changed back into your normal paper thin striped shirt,shitty bra and overalls,putting the clothes back into the bag and walking back out,seeing her sitting in the chair with a grin on her face as if she knew something you didnt. “Look at how cute this bikini is!Your boobs would look good-we’re getting it.”She said quickly,putting a white one piece into the bag.

 “Sarah-this is gonna cost like,a million dollars.”You grumbled,not really approving what your girlfriend was doing.She rolled her eyes,not worrying about it as she grabbed an ash colored bralette and underwear set,finally done picking clothes for you,dragging you to the counter to pay.You werent paying attention to anything the cashier was saying,only watching the total go up until it hit the point of $830.

What the actual fuck?Sarah simply swiped her card,taking the white and gold paper bag with a grin,pulling you along as you tried to get over the fact that she had just payed so much so carelessly.You two ended up back in the car,the bag in the backseat as you were still struggling to wrap your head around it. 

“You okay?”She asked,noticing the look on your face. “You just spent an entire month of bills on clothes.”You whispered,making a smile come across her face. “That’s okay.”She answered,backing out of the parking lot and making her way to the icecream shop.

 “Do you want to go to the beach to eat our icecream or do you want to go back to the house and model for me?”She asked,hoping you’d pick the second option.You shrugged,not really caring as long as you got your icecream. “yeah,you’re modeling for me.”She decided for you,turning on the radio. “Yeah?”You asked.

She hummed in response.The drive was quiet,your chin on your palm,the cool air of the air conditioning on your skin and the hot of the sun on your arm. “I feel like Cinderella right now.”You admitted,making the blonde laugh. “What do you mean by that?”She asked,curious.

You shrugged,turning down the radio. “I mean,you’re my beautiful fairy goddess and you just bought me some kook clothes and i’m used to cooking for people and pulling weed from rich people’s gardens...its like im becoming one of you.”You mumbled,her hand squeezing your thigh. 

“You say it like we’re vampires, (Y/N).”She shook her head,pulling up to the icecream parlor,getting out of the car.You both walked up to the metal counter,looking at the menu.She got the same thing everytime.A  medium cotton candy scoop in a chocolate sprinkled cone with whipped cream.

It was colorful and over the top,just like her.You decided on a rainbow milkshake which was layers of cotton candy icecream,strawberry,black raspberry,orange creamsicle and lemon all in one cup topped with whipped cream.

After getting your icecream you two went right back to the car,Sarah playing Lucifer on her phone and placing it between the two of you as she struggled to eat her icrecream quick enough so it wouldnt fall off or melt.She rested her icecream cone in the cupholder,driving back to the house,running up to her room with you close behind her,the white and gold bag tucked under her arm.

She ate the cone,getting to the end of it when she asked you to try on the bathing suit.You rolled your eyes,stripping of your overalls and t shirt,earning a quiet whistle from her.You sent her a quick wink,pulling the bathing suit up your body,pushing your arms through,your cleavage showing. 

“Yeah,I was right.Your boobs look great.”She grinned,opening her drawers and picking out her pink bathing suit,changing into it right in front of you. “Lets go out to the pool.”She suggested,grabbing two towels from her drawer.The two of you sat in the cool water,the sun making it hard to look at. “I’ve got to get back to the house soon.”You mumbled,floating on your back.

She frowned,standing up in the shallow water. “Why?Cant you just sleep over?”She asked,not wanting you to go.You shook your head,figuring that it wouldnt be wise to spend another night. “I cant let the place get messy.”You answered,wringing out your hair.She pouted,understanding. 

“You have to leave now?”She asked.You shrugged,sitting on the steps. “Probably soon,i’ve got to check the mail too.”You replied,stepping onto the hot concrete.She sighed,lifting herself out of the water and offering you a ride home.

You said yes,giving her a quick kiss before leaving the car,your backpack clinging to your shoulders,the store bag in hand. “I love you.”She grinned as you closed the car door. “Love you too,pretty girl.”You replied before going inside your small house.It was hot,dust on the counters and cabinets.

The coolers ice had melted,leaving cans of sprite to float in the water that was left.You sighed,going into your room and letting your backpack fall onto your mattress that stayed on the floor.You took the clothes from the store bag,putting them on hangers and letting them hang in your closet,far away from the one other pair of overalls you owned.You grinned at the splash of color in your dull home,ending up falling asleep on your stomach on top of your mattress,face in the blankets you had collected over the years.

Sarah looked in the mirror at her tube top that was covering a honey colored bralette that you liked so much,a pair of white jeans over matching yellow panties that you liked so much.

She tied her hair into a messy bun,letting out a soft sigh,grabbing her keys and getting ready to surprise you at your house.It had only been a few hours but she already missed you.She jogged down the stairs quick,close to leaving when Rose interferred. 

“Where are you going?”She asked,looking at the outfit.Sarah cursed in her head,turning to look at her step mother. “Out.”She replied,not in the mood for her bullshit.Rose crossed her arms,a knowing smirk on her face. “Out where?”She pushed,acting like an annoying fifth grader.Sarah completely understood where Wheezie got it,Rose equally as annoying as the thirteen year old. 

“Out on a date.”Sarah answered,glaring.Rose’s eyebrows furrowed,surprised. “Yeah?”She asked,raising an eyebrow.Sarah nodded. “Yeah.”She repeated,hand on the door knob. “With who?”Rose asked,really testing Sarah’s patience.

 “With someone im interested in.”Sarah replied,venom dripping from her voice. “Hes got a job?”Rose asked.Sarah nodded. “Yeah.”She answered,sick of this interrogation. “What does he do?”Rose asked.Sarah rolled her eyes,nearly laughing at how clueless she was.

 “Gardening.”Sarah replied,squeezing the door knob tightly.Rose frowned,a sympathetic smile on her face. “Sarah,he’s probably gay.”She whispered.Sarah chuckled,opening the door. “Yeah,she is.”Sarah answered,slamming the door behind her.

When she showed up to your house she let out an anxious sigh,standing at your door.She had never actually been inside before,knocking gently.Of course you couldnt hear her in your sleep though.She opened the door,frowning at the built up dust and lack of color.

She found your room easily,the one room that had a door.She knocked on it,not hearing anything and growing concerned,opening it quickly.She calmed down when she saw you asleep on your matress,hair messy.She smiled,taking a photo and sitting down on the mattress next to you.Your eyes fluttered open,squinting up at her. “Hi.”She smiled down at you.

You sat up,confused.The sun was nearly completely down,teh sky pink and purple. “Sarah?”You asked.She nodded,a grin on her face. “What are you doing here?”You asked,not really understanding why she was in your house or why she would want to be in your house.

It was messy and small and you hadnt been ready for her to see it yet.She shrugged,laying down with you. “I dont know,I missed you.”She shrugged,arms around your waist and head on your chest.You smiled,kissing her head. “I didnt end up cleaning,got tired I guess.”You replied,enjoying the warmth of her body.

She pouted,sitting up straight. “Its hot in here.”She mumbled,making you frown. “I mean yeah,I dont have air conditioning so-”You stopped talking when she peeled off her shirt and shorts,leaving her in one of your favorite sets that she owned.You nodded,agreeing. “Yeah,it is hot in here.”You agreed.

@outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @poguestyleskye​ @jjtheangel​  @dannii-li​ @lovelyelinor​​

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[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 8

A/N - Finally an update!! Im sorry of this is bad but im trying to get back into the swing of it! 💕💕

My week had been long! Or at least it felt that way. Work had been busier than usual and Mason was being extra clingy. If he wasn't hanging onto me he was throwing a tantrum because he wanted his dad. Chris had been stopping by every day after he got off from work, most days staying for dinner and then leaving once Mason was down for the night. On the few occasions Chris couldn't make it..... i knew Mason was going to act up. It was nice having Chris's help with Mason, but i couldn't help thinking about how much easier life would have been with him around from the start.

Another person who had noticed Chris's increased visits was Brian! My god he was driving me mad!!

He would show up all the time at the coffee shop trying to talk to me about random things. He would always be out the front of his house when i arrived home, it was getting ridiculous and honestly a little creepy! Even to the point of him showing up when i was grocery shopping with Mason.

Friday evening quickly came around and I packed a weekend bag for Mason and I ready for our weekend in Boston visiting Chris's mom Lisa. It had been agreed that we would stay at Chris's house after Mason found out Chris had a dog.

He wouldn't shut up about meeting Dodger!

Chris came by to pick us up, he grabbed our bags and took them out to his car with Mason following him while i double checked the house was locked up and i hadn't forgotten anything. I set the alarm and locked the front door, as i turned Brian was walking over.

"Hey, you going somewhere?" He asked like it was something he should be aware of.

"yeah, just a family thing" i nodded shrugging casually as i continued towards Chris's car.

"How long you gonna be gone for?"

"Only a few days, goodnight Brian"

"You okay?" Chris asked walking over to me while throwing a glare at Brian who wasn't too far behind.

"Yeah lets just go"

Chris put his arm around my waist and led me to the passenger side while standing between me and Brian as if shielding me from my creepy neighbour.

"I know its not my place to say, but i don't like that guy. He freaks me out the way he is with you" Chris said quietly once we were on the road.

"I know, i hate it too. He's gotten worse since he's seen you around more"

"I really think you should think about moving"

"Ive been thinking the same thing actually"

"You have?"

"Yeah, i don't feel safe in my own home anymore. The guy is literally everywhere i go"

"He still coming by the coffee shop?"

"Everyday" i nodded "now he shows up when i'm getting groceries with Mace....."

"Maybe you and Mason should stay with me until you find a new place, or i'll stay with you....."

"Chris...."

"Im not trying to overstep i swear, i just want to know you're both safe"

"I'll think about it".

To say Chris's house was impressive would be a huge understatement. When we walked in we were tackled by the brown and white dog Mason had been dying to meet. Dodger was so happy to see people and so gentle with Mason, the two were hitting it off already. I stood looking around the house and couldnt believe how clean and tidy everything was.... it looked like something out of a magazine....I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my mouth, that got Chris's attention.

"What?"

"I was just thinking about how tidy it is.... you do realise thats gonna change with a 5 year old running around?"

"Of course i do, i'm not stupid.....Im looking forward to it"

"We'll see if you feel that way later" i shook my head before bending down to fuss Dodger who was now wanting my attention.

"Pizza okay for dinner?" Chris asked after he had shown us to the guest room and got us settled in.

"Thats fine, Mason will be thrilled" i smiled "must get his love of pizza from you".

Chris just smiled proudly as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket to order.

"Your favourite still ham and pineapple?"

"Of course!"

"So gross"

"Christopher don't start that argument with me again.... pineapple is good on pizza!"

"Keep telling yourself that sweetheart" he chuckled shaking his head as we made our way back downstairs. We had argued about pineapple on pizza for years!

"Mason agrees with me" i shrugged with a smug smile as a look of horror spread on his face.

"No!..... say it ain't so....."

"Sorry its true, ask him"

"Hey buddy?.... what pizza do you want?" Chris called over to Mason who was sitting with Dodger in front of the TV.

"Ham and Pineapple please"

"Thats my boy!" I grinned at Chris before going to sit with Mason and Dodger.

I was standing in front of the mirror looking at my outfit choice for the day, maybe i should change..... i had already changed 3 times!! My stomach had been in knots all morning, the nerves getting the better of me, Id barely touched the pancakes Chris had made us all for breakfast.

"You look so pretty mama" I heard Mason say and turned to see him standing in the bedroom doorway smiling at me.

"Thank you baby" i smiled back lovingly at him before taking one last look in mirror and taking a deep breath.

"I guess its time to go meet your nana huh?"

"Yep! Come on lets go! Dad said Dodger can come too" he was so excited!

"He did?? Wow bud thats great! Come on then lets go".

Chris was sat on the sofa waiting for us, he was looking at something on his cell phone that made him frown.... he looked pissed off truth be told.

"Hey, we're ready when you are" i said casually letting him know we were in the room. He looked up instantly, his eyes looking me up and down as a smile spread on his face.

"Wow you look nice.... both of you"

"Thanks, we wont embarrass you then?" I asked only half joking, even though i knew his family this was still nerve racking.

"Why would you ever embarrass me?"

"I...."

"Mama can we go?" Mason interrupted walking over with Dodger on his lead.

"Wow someones eager to meet his nana huh?"

"Sure pal, lets go" Chris beamed grabbing his car keys and slipping his phone in his jeans pocket.

Chris's cell was blowing up in his pocket as we drove to his moms place, 5/6 ignored phone calls followed by a shit ton of text messages. I could see him getting more and more irritated the longer they kept coming through.

"Everything okay?" I finally asked looking over at him.

"Huh?"

"Your phone?...."

"Oh yeah, i'm sure its nothing important"

"The person trying to get your attention seems to think differently"

"It can wait" he quickly looked at me with a tight lipped smile before turning his attention back to the road.

"You sure? You can pull over and check...."

"Im positive"

"Okay if you say so"

"I do say so, now shush i like this song" he said smiling as he turned up the song on the radio drowning out the sound of his phone.

My knee was bouncing and my heart racing from my nerves as we drove up the drive way to Lisa's house.

Chris put the car in park and looked over at me with a smile.

"You know you have nothing to be nervous about? My mom loves you, you were always like another daughter to her"

"I know, but i left..... she's gonna hate me for leaving the way i did.... for not telling her...."

"Hey, she knows this is on me. She always knew it was my fault we didn't work out...." he looked down at his lap "she was so happy to hear you were coming to see her. She can't wait to see you and meet Mason"

"She was?"

"Yeah, now come on you got this"

I nodded and took a deep breath before throwing open my door and climbing out of Chris's car ready to face the music.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina

@mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave @jakiki94 @torntaltos @buchanansebba

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 3: Signed In Blood]

Series summary: You are an overwhelmed and disenchanted nurse in Boston, Massachusetts. Queen is an eccentric British rock band you’ve never heard of. But once your fates intertwine in the summer of 1974, none of your lives will ever be the same...

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, physical frailty, sneaky foreshadowing.

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​ @sleepretreat​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

The cashier blinks at you as he scans the items in your basket: two Cokes, an orange juice, a Mountain Dew, a grape Fanta, a box of Ritz crackers, a KitKat, three packs of cherry Pop Rocks, and assorted bags of Lay’s chips. “You must have, like, a lot of kids.”

“Something like that.”

Terminal E of Logan International Airport is bustling with swiftly-moving businessmen dragging rolling suitcases, tidy-looking flight attendants, careening toddlers and frazzled mothers. The band is waiting at the gate; their plane to Heathrow is scheduled to board in thirty minutes. Our plane, you correct yourself. I’m going too.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I ran out of paper bags but I can check in the back if you want—”

“Oh no,” you protest, slapping a ten-dollar bill onto the counter and gathering up the snacks. You’ve cultivated a stubborn solidarity with your fellow service industry employees. “That’s cool, I’ve got it. Thanks. Have a great day!”

“You too! Good luck with your kids!”

You laugh as you trot away. Yes, my very large, extremely anarchic British children. You could have sent Freddie and Rog for the snacks, but you don’t trust them not to try to steal something and end up getting strip-searched by TSA; Brian is still too weak to go anywhere alone; and John...well, John dissolves into blood-red cheeks and averted eyes if you ask him anything. You weave through the crowded terminal, shifting your arms to keep the snacks centered.

“Wow, you have your hands full there!”

You peer around the heap to see a businessman in a powder blue suit, neatly combed black hair, mid-thirties, benign smile. Your arms are beginning to ache. “Ha, yeah. I guess I do.”

“Need some help?” he asks, still smiling.

“Oh, thank you so much, but I’ve got it—”

“Nonsense.” He cheerfully plucks the chips and Pop Rocks out of your grasp. “Where are we going?”

Oh no. You know this type of man. He’s the guy who flirts with the nurses while his wife is recovering from a gallbladder removal, who tries to impress you with his mid-level accounting job and Marshall Field's neckties, who obliviously—or worse, forcefully—offers assistance when it’s least desired. He’s the type to play superhero so he can get a taste of what it feels like to be someone who matters. He’s not usually dangerous, but he is viperous if his fantasy gets interrupted, bitter and desperate and striking out like a wounded animal. Jesus christ, I do not have time for this bullshit today. The muscles in your forearms are screaming now. “Seriously, I can handle it. Thank you. Can I get my snacks back? My friends are waiting.”

His smile falters; suddenly, Mr. Aspiring Superman doesn’t seem so benign at all. And you can’t help but notice that his grip around your criminally overpriced airport snacks doesn’t loosen. Oh fucking hell. “What the hell’s wrong with you? Are you stupid or something? Don’t you get it, I’m trying to help—”

“Hey, baby!” chimes a voice from nowhere. An arm appears around your shoulders, pulling you in; John lands a series of kisses across your neck and jawline as the businessman gawks, speechless and horrified. “Did you finish shopping? Oh, you remembered my Coke! Thanks, baby. You’re the best. Come on, they’re gonna start boarding soon...” He stops, stares at the businessman, points with narrowed steely grey eyes: “Are those my Pop Rocks?”

“Uh, uh, yeah, uh...” The man hastily shoves the snacks into John’s hands and flees. John immediately backs away from you, clears his throat, casts his eyes down the opposite end of the airport terminal.  

“Oh my god,” you say, stunned. “I’ve never heard you talk that much at once. Ever.”

He flushes and combs his agile fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I’m so sorry, I just thought...I saw that he was...I figured that would get him to piss off without causing a scene...I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that, I—”

“No, John, seriously, that was brilliant. Thank you.”

“Yeah?” And you think you can detect something in his voice like hope: cautious, fragile hope. More than that, you can still feel his lips against your skin, hot and sure and assertive, almost dominating.

You grin over at him as you walk together towards the gate. “I bet everyone thinks you’re real innocent because you’re the shy, quiet, mysterious one or whatever. But you have some serious game under all of that, don’t you?”

John chuckles out of pure shock, still not looking at you. “I doubt it.”

“I’m onto you, bassist. Those groupies aren’t going to know what hit them.”

Wait, he has a girlfriend, isn’t that what Freddie said? But if he does, John doesn’t correct you.

“Do I see my beloved Pop Rocks?!” Roger squeals when he spies you both. John tosses all three packets to him. Roger rips one open, pours the entirety of the contents into his mouth, then motions for you to pass him the can of grape Fanta. He gulps the Fanta and drums his palms against his thighs as his mouth erupts into sugary explosions.

“Majestic,” you comment.

“Wha...?! I will not be outdone!” Freddie seizes all the remaining Pop Rocks—both packs—and empties them into his mouth, then douses them with Coke. Dark fizzing soda and ruby crystals spew out of his nose. Roger throws back his head and cackles like a hyena as John launches balled-up napkins at Freddie. You ignore them and check on Brian, who is lounged sideways across five seats.

“How you doing, Bri?”

He groans in reply. You give him the orange juice and Ritz crackers.

“Eat, please, Bri.”

“I can’t. I’m dying.”

“You aren’t bloody dying!” Freddie sighs, exasperated, still mopping Coke off his face.

You lay the back of your hand against Brian’s forehead and frown. “You’re burning up, Mr. May.”

“I’ve got aspirin somewhere...” Roger says as he rummages through his luggage.

“He can’t have it. His liver’s still recovering, no over-the-counter meds.” You take two still-cold cans—your Mountain Dew and Bri’s orange juice—and press them to Brian’s cheeks. John, without speaking, lays his Coke against the back of Brian’s neck. “Think you can make it through a six-hour flight?”

Brian’s glassy eyes roam to you. “No offense, but I would literally rather be disemboweled by rabid opossums than spend another night in Boston.”

“Opossums very rarely contract rabies. But your point is noted. We’ll get you home.”

“Thank you,” Brian breathes, drained. “And thank you, John.”

“Not a problem.”

Freddie squats in front of Bri in skin-tight jeans littered with patches, brushes the mess of curls off Brian’s forehead, and pushes a Ritz cracker into his mouth. Brian grimaces but chews it reluctantly. Freddie grins. “You must be truly desperate to trust your wellbeing to Deaky.”

“He’s unexpectedly ferocious,” you warn Brian. “He ran off some creep at the snack stand. Kid could definitely murder you if he tried.”

“Yeah? Well done, Deaks!” Roger gives John a high-five, then aggressively ruffles his hair and growls. “Who’s my favorite little killer bassist?! Grrr. Grrrrrrrrr. Come on. Show me them pearly whites, Mack the Knife.”

John chomps at Roger’s hands in his very best impression of a shark. Roger laughs and yanks teasingly at John’s hair, his face lit up like the Boston Harbor on the Fourth of July.

The next time you look for Freddie, he’s disappeared. You finally spot him several seats away, bent over a notebook and scribbling furiously, snapping his fingers over and over again and murmuring to himself: “Killer bassist...killer woman...killer bitch...killer queen.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When boarding begins, Freddie and Roger practically carry Brian onto the plane. They drop him into a window seat and Brian promptly drapes a sweater over his head and falls asleep. You sit beside him and flip through a fashion magazine you found in the pocket on the back of the chair in front of you, but Roger keeps interrupting by ranking the pictured outfits on a scale of one to eleven.

“Why eleven?”

“Because I gave that neon yellow coat three pages ago a ten, but now I like these rainbow pants even more. So they have to be an eleven.”

“Okay Roger.”

Freddie and John sit in the row in front of you and alternate between scrawling in their notebooks—song lyrics for Freddie, sketches of some kind of amplifier for John—and tossing peanuts into each other’s mouths. John doesn’t speak to you, but he keeps glimpsing back between the seats like he’s considering it. When Roger gets up two hours in to take a smoke break and chase down extra peanut packets for Freddie, John finally turns around and peeks over his seat.

“Why don’t opossums get rabies?” he asks.

“That’s what’s on your mind?” you tease, sipping Mountain Dew.

“Maybe.”

“Okay. Buckle up. It’s technically possible for opossums to get rabies. But they have naturally super low body temperatures, like 94 or 95 degrees Fahrenheit. So the virus usually can’t survive in their system. Thus, squeaky clean opossums.”

“Well. Minus the ticks and fleas and dirt and rubbish and all that.”

“Most of the cute things in life are at least slightly grubby.”

“Like Roger Taylor.”

You laugh. “That man has definitely been submerged in garbage at some point.”

“You have no idea. But you have to learn to be a Londoner now. We wouldn’t say grubby, we’d say dodgy.”

“Dodgy. Got it.”

“Show me. Use it in a sentence.”

“Roger is super dodgy, while Brian is much less so. Jury’s still out on John.”

“Well done.” He applauds.

Now you reach out to touch his hair, like Roger did earlier; it’s impossibly soft and downy, comforting, almost homey. John smiles patiently. “You have fantastic bone structure, you know,” you tell him. “You should cut this off one day so people can see it.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. But in the meantime...” You gently thread your fingertips through his locks, twirl a strand, observe that those blue-grey eyes that seemed steely back at the airport are now as soft and innocuous as morning fog. Roger reappears with his loot of peanut packets and gasps, pretending to be scandalized.

“What’s going on here?! Jesus, Deaks, I leave you alone for three minutes and you’ve got her all enamored with your soft cuddly exterior and latent homicidal tendencies.”

“It’s a winning combination.” John catches the peanuts that Roger hurls his way and turns to split them with Freddie.

You gaze up at Roger and beam. “Hey, dodgy Rogey.”

“Oh, you think that’s charming?” He slinks into his seat and drapes an arm across your shoulders. “You realize you’re one of us now, right? That makes you dodgy too.”

“As long as I don’t have to participate in any scandalous naked photoshoots.”

“Oh my god, that was one time! Freddie, Fred, hey, Freddie, why would you show her those...?!”

Hours later, when the plane hits the runway at Heathrow, Brian jolts awake and clutches for you like a staircase railing. He’s cooler to the touch now, appears less feverish, insists he feels better; nevertheless, Freddie and Roger escort him all through the airport like intense and sunglasses-armored Secret Service agents flanking Nixon, steadying him on escalators and dragging his luggage. As the five of you descend into the arrivals area, Freddie points to a group of young women and shrieks in delight, waves, blows flirtatious kisses all the way down the steps.  

“Freddie!” the blonde one calls, leaping in her heels and grinning enormously. She’s holding a large, glittery sign that reads: Welcome home, Queen! Freddie races to meet her, sweeps her off her feet, dips her halfway to the floor and kisses her deeply, theatrically. The blonde woman in his arms giggles and buries her fingers in his mane of shining black hair.

“Darling?” Freddie says, spinning to find you, flourishing his artful hands. “This is Mary Austin, the love of my life. Mary, this is our new best friend, Florence Nightingale.”

“Well,” you confess. “That’s not my actual name, obviously. It’s—”

“I quite like Florence Nightingale,” John says. “I’ve always fancied the name Florence. That’s where Dante was from. He was exiled during some political conflict and ended up bouncing around all over Italy. He eventually landed in Ravenna and finished The Divine Comedy there. By the time he died, he hadn’t seen Florence in twenty years. But Florence was always home.” He smiles at you in an off-kilter, crafty sort of way that tells you you’ve at last been admitted into the diminutive, highly selective circle of people that John calls friends; and you feel like you’ve won the lottery for the second time in forty-eight hours.

“Hmm,” Freddie replies, puzzled. Mary nods uncertainly. Then John turns to greet a petite auburn-haired girl in a simple turquoise sundress and with long, bone-white legs.

Brian pulls you away to introduce you to his girlfriend, the one he was always trying to call on the hospital phone. He rests his hands on your shoulders as he presents you. “Chrissie, I love this woman.”

Chrissie glowers and crosses her arms. “Oh.”

“Wait, no, sorry, I mean she saved my life. She was my nightshift nurse in Boston. I was completely lost before she found me, tremendously depressed. You know how I get. She’s come to London to look after me. Then we’re going to convince the record company to hire her as our travel nurse.”

“Oh!” Now Chrissie softens. She has wavy brunette hair, plump cheeks, marvelous wide-set blue eyes, a completely uncomplicated presence. She embraces you kindly, gratefully. “Thank you so much, love.”

“No, please, it was my pleasure! Bri is a perfect gentleman. And a genius. But you already know that.”

“Chris, I was hoping she could borrow our couch for a few days until she finds her own place...”

“Of course!” Chrissie replies, fussing with your hair, studying you, her mind roiling. “What’s ours is yours. But it’s not much, I’ll warn you.”

“I’ll pay rent. And cook and clean. I’ll be a certified house wench.”

Chrissie laughs, then screams as Brian staggers and collapses to the floor. “Bri—?!”

“He’s alright,” you announce calmly as everyone crowds around. You claw through your luggage, pull out an instant cold pack, crack it and press it to Brian’s forehead. He stirs and mumbles something about New Orleans. “Rog, can you flag down a taxi? We gotta get him home.”

“Sure, you got it.” Roger darts off. And as Chrissie, Freddie, Mary, John, and John’s girlfriend—whom you gather from their conversation is named Veronica—scuttle to reassure Brian and fetch him water, you lock stares with Josephine. Roger’s girlfriend—super casual, not exclusive, that’s what he told me—is beautiful and slim and tan and dark-eyed and, worse than all of that, palpably clever. She considers you silently, and what crosses through her pristine, heart-shaped face is not mere suspicion but knowing; and perhaps there is acceptance there as well.

No, not acceptance, you realize. Resignation. Disappointment. Powerlessness.

You tear your eyes away from Josephine and turn back to Brian: tilting a bottle of water against his lips, pulling him to his feet, fanning him with airplane tickets, leading him to a bench to wait for the taxi. The others help, oblivious to the shadow that has marauded through the room like an eclipse.

I won’t end up like her, you think to yourself with savage determination. I won’t let myself love him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian sinks into a plush orange lounge chair as you and Chrissie cart the luggage inside. You get a tour of their tiny apartment, shove your few remaining belongings beneath the couch where you now live, and drop into the plaid cushions, covering your face with your hands.

“Oh my god. I can’t believe I did this. I quit my job. I left Boston. I’m living on some random couple’s couch in London. Oh my god.”

“Hey,” Chrissie says warmly, lifting your chin. “We aren’t so random. We’re your friends. Maybe we’re even your destiny.”

“Jesus, you’re something out of a fairytale.”

“You’re the one who’s going to be cleaning my house, Cinderella.” Chrissie tosses a bag over her shoulder and heads for the door. “I have to swing by work and see if my students killed the substitute teacher today, will you two be alright here?”

“Of course,” you say. Brian gives her a groggy thumbs-up.

“Okay. Bye for now. Love you lots, Bri.”

“Love you,” Brian replies weakly. Chrissie departs into a bright London summer. Brian looks over at you sorrowfully, guiltily. “I miss New Orleans.”

“What do you miss about New Orleans, Bri?” You know Queen stopped there before they came to Boston, before they came into your life.

“Can I confess something to you?”

“Sure.”

He stares at the wall, vacant, acutely distressed. “I think I’m in love with a stripper called Peaches.”

“Oooookay.” You snatch up your purse and dash for the apartment door.

“Wait, no, really, I—”

“Don’t tell me about it. Call Roger or someone. Or, better yet, write a song about it and make some money so we can all have mansions with swimming pools one day. Do you need anything from that grocery store on the corner?”  

Brian sighs mournfully. “I suppose not.”

“Alright. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Then you’re getting homemade chicken noodle soup. Everything will be better now, Brian. I promise. Everything will go back to the way it should be. Now that you’re home. Now that you’re here.”

Brian echoes quietly to himself as you open the door and sunlight floods in: “Now I’m here.”

[torivikachu]

I was just listening to Hamilton AGAIN - yeah I just put it on while working all the time - and it just hit me how really relatable Hamilton (or I mean, Lin-Manuel's interpretation of him) is. well, at least for me.

if you're wondering if this is worth your time it is NOT

anybody except me likes lists? I like lists. so let's make a list!

also let's see how many quotes can I fit into this post

whoa, I am excited about it.

1. the moment he meets Aaron Burr, he just sorta searches for something to bond over. like, hey dude I heard you went to Princeton? I wanna go there too, let's bond over it! by the way, I punched someone there lol I swear I am not stupid aand Burr, like um, no, thanks really, I better go, you seem violent, my parents wanted me to go there, okay, and Ham like WHOA YOU AN ORPHAN? WOW I AM TOO IT'S LIKE FATE OR SOMETHING LETS BOND and Aaron like wtf dude just shut up

and honestly that's just me, if I meet a person I like I will latch onto anything and I get sorta...fixated? so yeah, this dialogue is relatable as fuck

2. and Alex doesn't shut up, but then he goes all or am I talking too much?

bro, your anxiety shows.

3. and he keeps ranting all through the show, but his rants seem to charm everybody while I think mine just annoy and scare away? whatever, moving on, with Washington asking him why are you upset and he's replying IM NOT like a fucking teenager and it's probably a small thing but it's relatable as hell

4. and then once he is given permission he dives and buries himself into work, never does things halfway and is eager to take on more responsibilities and do something new and is just generally non-stop and while I can only wish for same energy as he, I like to have a lot of work aswell (well I sure as hell whine about it a lot but Hamilton does too! what's with I havent slept in a week I was weak I was awake you've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break)

5. he's flirty and has no qualms with innuendos. and very forward with his feelings? like you strike me like a woman who has never been satisfied sounds like a pickup line that either gonna win him a lot more than a number or fail miserably. he's like going all out, wearing his heart on his sleeve, and if it takes fighting a war for us too meet it will have been worth it and like seriously? yeah, flirt with every person in the room without skipping a beat, why not? he literally said on one intake of breath mr lafayette hard rock like lancelott i think your pants look hot laurens i like you a lot. he compliments people, he just throws it out instantly, most times he meets someone for the first time he compliments them and it's kind of my strategy too? it's not even a strategy, I just blurt out everything I like about a person once I meet them. it's like embarassing, because I liked a piece of jewelery on my co-worker once, and she was talking about something important while I could barely keep up because I kept thinking wow it looks great I gotta let her know. this strange need of mine to voice all thoughts annoys even me sometimes,

6. and then again, when he is angry or doesn't like something, it's painfully obvious. I don't tend to sprout profanities to people I don't like or saying stuff like madison you mad as hatter son take your medicine or you must be out of your GODDAMN mind or you absolutely right John should have shot him in mouth that would've shut him up but I can't school my face so it is always transparent what I am thinking about so my dislike is noted and not appreciated. it got me into enough embarassing situations. actually when studied in lyceum (like a sort of highschool) we had a principal and she addressed us as children and told us to call her mom and every time I was like WHAT THE HELL. I remember her eyes landing on me one time she said that and she almost did a doubletake at my facial expression. so the I'M NOT YOUR SON sentiment is not lost on me.

7. he speaks his mind when he thinks advice is in order? um if you love this woman go get her or for once in your life take a stand with pride. I tend to do it too, because I get winded up pretty fast, and I don't think it's always wise, because it's easy to judge from outside. I am pretty much sure that is the reason one of my friends back from school stopped talking to me. she had a bit of situation with her boyfriend and I still think her boyfriend is a piece of shit and she shouldn't have accepted him back, but whatever. wasn't my place to give advice, apparently

8. he gets overexcited? gentlemen of the jury I am curious bear with me are you aware that we are making history? like really I can't imagine ever getting like that at court. well I can imagine, because I get overexcited too, but saying that out loud? i'd be mortified

9. he's never satisfied? I know I already sorta covered it already, but it's more about him eager to learn and do more and feeling that what he's done and learnt is not enough, never enough. I so feel him on this, it's like yeah sure I know 4 languages, but that can't be enough can it? yeah I've got one degree but that's just ONE DEGREE that's like minimum I gotta get more

10. I know I talk too much I'm abrasive and I am not quoting Hamilton I am talking about myself thank you very much

11. he's a whiny bitch: but they don't have a plan they just hate mine -oh yes- or whatever it is Jefferson started it -huh yes sure-

12. forgetting your sons birthday? I forget my own age, sis. these little details just escape my attention. I like forgot it was my boyfriend's birthday this year - we literally live in the same flat. it took me a couple hours and a reminder from facebook. literally. and then I'll try to get away - hahaha it's like me saying to my parents - oh sure I'll some visit in a couple of months (they live in another part of the country) and then in a half a year being like oh wow when was the last time I went home

13. oh, here comes some more heavy stuff - say no to this. I was in a couple situations where I lost this battle. I think I have some polyamorous tendencies? but I am also very posessive and jealous, yeah, not a great mix, I know. so, I might have sorta dated two girls at one time once. well, not really dated, we were just bi-curious with one? we were friends, just... um, trying things. and then at some point I met another girl and it escalated pretty quickly and we sorta got together (oh my god the whole situation was a mess I was so confused about my sexuality back then and so ashamed you have no idea) and I didn't break it off with the first girl, but it was okay since we weren't... a thing? they knew each other but had no idea I slept with both of them. well we haven't really gotten that far with the first one but. and then the other asked at some point if she's the only one I do this with and I lied and a month into this endeavor I realized it was too much and sorta stopped seeing the first girl. we also stopped being close friends pretty soon afterwards. all my "lovestories" are embarassing actually, but this one is also the one I am most ashamed of. and then there were many situations in life when I was attracted to multiple people at the same time and ugh, I don't know, I kind of hate it, honestly. cheating is not okay. it is okay if everybody is okay with the polyamorous relationship though, but I never got to do it. so, yeah Ham's a dick but so am I

and on that depressing note I wanna wrap it up because I sorta killed the mood with that story. i think that's called oversharing?

if you actually read it to this point - wtf, you have nothing better to do or what?

I am not even gonna tag it so people don't have to scroll over that shit while searching for good content really I just like writing

the whole time I've been writing this my cat just kept staring at me. unblinkingly. I can feel her JUDGING ME

[dbssh]

🌼pick a random oc surprise me

Write a short drabble from your OCs POV meeting their Love Interest. 

😳😳😳😳 ok i havent written in. a while tm and im very much not happy with this but! ive been obsessively working on it for the past two days so i think its time to just Stop and hit post.

Aja had been hiding out in the woods. It was isolated enough to be safe, but still within walking distance of the nearest town. She’d made it her home for the past few weeks, taking a break from travelling for the moment. Winter was coming soon. There wasn’t any snow on the ground, yet, but there was less and less readily-available food. That wasn’t usually a problem for her, but recently it was. There was a stray dog, a big black mutt with short hair and a long face, that had been sticking around her camp since she’d come here. It was a sad, skinny thing, and she always made sure it had something to eat. But today had been particularly cold, a bitter wind and dark clouds on the horizon, and by the time the sun went down, she had nothing. 

The dog nuzzled into her hip as she stood at the edge of the treeline, looking out at the small town not too far away. She took a deep breath, slung her bag over her shoulder, and started walking. The dog followed. 

She slowed down as they neared a fence, the backside of a house. All the lights were out, as they should be at this hour. She stepped around to the other side of the house and found her prize, two metal garbage cans. She made a shushing motion at the dog, before she quietly removed the lid and started digging.

It didn’t take long to find enough scraps of meat and discarded food for the dog to be satisfied, which she was grateful for. She didn’t want to dig around in garbage any more than she had to, especially when she had no idea when she’d be able to clean herself properly. She sat with the dog while it chewed on the bone from a ham, stroking its matted fur. For a moment it was almost peaceful.

The peace was short-lived, interrupted by a loud clanging as something else disturbed the trash cans, something far less concerned with stealth than Aja had been. She stood and stepped over, looking into the can. It was a raccoon, filthy and hardly more than skin-and-bones.

“Get out of here,” she whispered at it, shooing it away. She felt awful for the poor thing, but with the noise it was making, it was putting them both in danger. “Get your own, we’ve already got this one.” It didn’t seem to understand her, and all it did was dig further into the garbage, making an awful noise as it’s paws clanged against the metal. She was panicking, knowing the noise would wake someone up soon if it hadn’t already, and she grabbed at the raccoon, trying to pull it out as it hissed and screamed, scratching at her hands, the dog barking at it as it did. 

The door to the house slammed open, and an older man walked out, holding a shotgun and murmuring about the god-damned vermin. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw her, and she froze as she saw him, dropping the raccoon to the ground. 

“What the hell?” he said. Aja took a moment to consider her options, looking from the old man to the gun in his hands, to the street behind him. While he was still sitting there, dumb-struck, trying to figure out what exactly he was looking at, Aja took a deep breath, and broke into a sprint, pushing past him and into the street. She didn’t know where she was running or where she intended to go, but she couldn’t stay here. 

The old man swore as she bolted, running into the street and firing a few shots. Lucky for her the old man was a lousy shot, and in the dark of the night he missed. The noise roused the other houses on the street, lights clicking on in the windows as people woke. 

She didn’t know what to do. She kept running. 

--- 

Parked in an alleyway was a mint-blue pickup truck, with more than a few dents and scratches along the sides and a crack in the windshield. Sleeping in the driver's seat was Hutch. Or at least, they were sleeping, until gunshots rang out through the night and they jumped awake, scrambling to shove their keys into the ignition. They had no fucking clue what was happening, and they weren’t going to stick around to find out. 

As the headlights blinked to life, they caught a figure. She froze in the bright white light, staring directly at them like a deer crossing the road. She was panicked, and tall, really fucking tall, with wild dark hair and all-black clothes complete with a cape that draped over her shoulders. She looked terrified. 

Within a moment she’d snapped out of it and kept running. Hutch leaned out the window and called out after her, trying to get her to wait, but she didn’t stop. Fuck. 

They started the engine and pulled the stupid truck out of the alley as fast as it would go. 

---

If Aja had panicked when the headlights had turned on, she was fucking terrified when the truck actually started following her. She had no idea what was about to happen, but even she couldn’t outrun a car. So when it pulled in front of her and stopped abruptly, she stopped too, ready to face whatever was about to happen. 

She was speechless when the passenger door popped open, and the driver looked up at her, smiled, and said:

“Need a ride?”

“Pardon?”

“I heard the shots. If they have anything to do with you, you probably wanna get the hell out of this place before they start forming a good-ol’ fashioned angry mob,” they paused, still with a cocky grin on their face. “I have a car, if you haven’t noticed, but we gotta get moving. Do you want in or not?”

She paused, deliberating. She could keep going, alone. She’d survive, and she’d find her own way out, and it would be fine. She didn’t need this person. On the other hand… she hadn’t had a real conversation in years. And here someone was, talking to her like a peer, not even flinching as they looked at her. 

Noise of shouting townsfolk echoed down the street. 

“Last chance,” they said, starting to look worried. “If you aren’t getting out of here, I am.”

She took a deep breath, and got in the car. 

---

They drove until morning, mostly silent. There had been some one-sided conversation at first, Hutch asking questions and Aja giving one-word answers, but they’d stopped trying at some point. The radio droned quietly, some country song on the radio, Hutch tapping their fingers on the wheel and muttering the words. 

In the morning sun, she was able to get a better look at them. They were short, with tanned brown skin and a number of scars across their face and arms. Their hair was blond, pink at the tips, looking as though it had just begun to grow out of a neat cut. Their face seemed to be in an almost-permanent grin, their silver eyes twinkling with a mischievous energy. 

And looking closer at them, it became obvious that they weren’t human, at least not entirely. Their ears were pointed and animal-like, flicking about like a cat. Their fingertips had short black claws, and tucked around their waist was a thin, wiry tail that looked almost like that of a mouse or a lion, with a tuft of fur the same pink-golden colour as their hair at it’s tip.

She must have looked for just a moment too long, because they turned to look at her with another stupid grin, and they winked. 

Her face felt hot as she quickly turned away, staring at the window as they laughed. 

“I’m just messin’ with you, you’re fine,” they said.

“Why did you help me?” she asked, changing the topic. 

“I dunno,” they shrugged. “You just looked like you needed help, is all. Anyone would’ve done it.” Their voice was thick with a southern accent. 

“Nobody else did. Nobody else has ever done what you did.” She paused. “Not for me, anyways.”

“Anyone decent, I should say,” they laughed. “Those people? Not decent. Towns like that never are. Don’t really know how to treat anyone different.” 

“I suppose so. Still. Thank you.” 

“Yeah, ‘course.” 

“If there’s ever anything I can do to repay you…” she trailed off, not really sure how to finish that. They looked her over for a minute, their silver eyes shining. 

“Y’know what? There is something.”

“Oh?” She wasn’t certain, but she didn’t think people usually actually took someone up on an offer like that. 

“Sure!” they laughed. “Just stay with me a little while. It gets lonely out here all by myself. Whenever you’re ready to leave, you can go, I ain’t gonna stop you. Just thought it might be nice for both of us to have some good company for a change.” That… didn’t sound too bad. She wasn’t really sure why, but she trusted them. Besides, even if they did try something, she was fairly sure she could take care of it. And they were right, after all. She was lonely. Incredibly, painfully lonely, in a way she had to force herself not to think about. 

“Okay,” she said, after a pause.

[babyybitchhh]

Alright, so now that I’m sober I realize I answered that one ask all wrong and also I threw down enough names for a fiveway, not a foursome so ... embarrassing. My inner thot really illiterate, huh? Smh go back to school and learn to count bitch.

My real answer: Shikamaru get the pussy because he’d want to be on the very bottom anyway but also I feel like his dick was made for hitting that g-spot just right when ya girl on top. That shit will have you seeing stars on a good day but the added penetration from the back? Hng. Bitch you bout to be cumming nonstop.

Kakashi get the booty because, first of all, I know he’s about that life. He looks like someone who’s biggest fantasy list would have anal right at the top next to (you guessed it) threesomes. He had two girls in mind but this is fine too, and I know he ain’t shy about knocking on the back door. Biggest hurdle here is that he’s thick, god, I know that man packing, so getting himself inside your tight ass is going to take some work. But that’s exactly why Shikamaru is on pussy duty and it’s thanks to him that you’re relaxed and doped out on endorphins enough for Kakashi to stretch out your puckered little hole. Also, the delicious burn of having your asshole played with added to the blinding pressure on your g-spot is absolutely going to have you shaking through one orgasm and right into the next so buckle up bitch, it’s gonna be a long night.

Last but not least Yamato gets the neck in my dream foursome for a few different reasons. One is that I don’t think he’d be into butt stuff, giving or receiving. Just doesn’t seem like something he’d be up for. Second is that Shikamaru really does have the kitty on lock and he’d probably be real smug about it too. No one else is getting near your pussy if he has anything to say about it (totally not because taking up any other position would require him to put forth effort. Nope. That’s definitely not what he’s thinking. 😗) Biggest reason though is that Yamato is mad into face fucking and you’ll have to pry that opinion out of my cold dead hands. I don’t remember which blog I saw it on, but someone definitely put the thought in my head with a HC list for him and I had one of those ... you know what, you’re right and you should say it moments. Anyone else might be kind of salty that they don’t get to have their way with your body like the other two but not this man. Oh no. He’s going to fuck your mouth just like if it were a second pussy and if you don’t think he’s gonna go just as ham as the rest you’re sorely mistaken. Only drawback is that, because of how enthusiastically he’s going to go at your throat, he’ll have to stand sort of to the side and have you crane your head around so that all the drool leaking out of your mouth doesn’t get on Shikamaru. Sex is messy, especially sex with multiple partners, and he gets that but that doesn’t mean he wants to be coated in spit for the foreseeable future. 🤷‍♀️

Im sort of thinking all this goes down on a couch or a big comfortable ottoman. So like, Shikamaru sprawled out under you, groping your tits and playing with your clit to make you writhe between them and really drive you crazy. Kakashi working himself over your back, pressing his chest flush against your spine so he can kiss and nibble at your neck. Once he had you loose enough to really go to town, he’d bring his foot up and brace it on the edge near Shikamaru’s hip so he can sink himself into your ass straight down to the base. At some point he’d throw caution aside and just climb all the way up, hunching over your prone body and fucking into you like a dog in heat. This is the point where the clap clap clap of his stomach smacking against your upturned ass cheeks would be at its loudest. Meanwhile Yamato’s standing over the three of you, just to the side of Shikamaru’s shoulder, holding your face in his big hands and keeping you in place while he alternates between fucking your mouth in quick, shallow thrusts that leave you feeling like a well used onahole and long, drawn out thrusts that have his cock wedged inside your throat with his silky soft ballsack pressed tight against your chin. He’d pause to give you a breather every few minutes and messily smear the spit on your face, letting you moan and wail freely into the heavy air before silencing you with his cock again. Everyone’s real good about staying focused on the task at hand (which is fucking your brains out) and they easily find a rhythm that feeds off one another and never leaves you feeling empty or an orifice unoccupied for more than a second or two at a time. No jealousy or macho posturing here, which is exactly why these three are The Chosen Ones. They’re each laid back enough that I know we could have an amicable fuck fest without someone trying to upstage the others or start shit because “I want to fuck her pussy too”. Everyone’s happy with what hole they’ve got and overall it’s just a good time.

Side note: I don’t entirely recant my initial answer which included Asuma in this game of sexy Twister but remember what I just said about everyone getting along without any macho posturing? Yeeeaaah. Knowing how much Shikamaru looks up to his sensei, I can easily see it either turning into something of a pissing contest where he tries to match Asuma’s energy or show off, really trying to make his own sexual prowess stand out in front of someone he genuinely admires, OR he’s gonna feel some kind of way about his dick game and put himself down about not being what he’d no doubt perceive as being “better”. We all know Shikamaru can be kind of hard on himself at times, that just comes with the Virgo package where he expects nothing but the very best out of himself, so I can see it potentially turning into a small problem.

But also consider Asuma “teaching” Shikamaru how to fuck you properly. Giving him pointers and smugly telling him you’ll like it if he does this or that, and then showing him by example. 🥴 Imagine being their little guinea pig while they take turns trying out different techniques on you, treating you just like a living breathing sex toy and using you solely for these lessons. Big nut tbh and I’d be straight up lying if I said I’m not also thinking about some father son bonding time in the same vein with Shikaku, hrrrrnnng. I’m here for it today.

[lickstynine]

Misadventures of Kit: Chapter Thirty

written with @ocsickficsideblog

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Everyone continued to eat and chat for a while, save for Kit, who was just sipping his one cup of tea and occasionally throwing out quips. Finny had taken a seat under the table, his ass on Alistair’s feet, his tummy on Riagán’s, and his front feet on Siofra’s. She ruffled his ears, sending Cillian to go get more beer so she wouldn’t have to bother the dog. By the time everyone was full, there was an astonishing dent in the buffet that had been filling up the table. There was enough food for maybe a few normal-sized people to have lunch, but that was really it. Kit stared in astonishment for a moment before helping to gather empty plates.

“What, never seen a functional family before?” Siofra smirked.

“Well… no. But I was more shocked at how much you all eat. I would actually die if I tried to eat that much.”

Siofra snorted, patting his shoulder as she set the remaining ham on the counter. “Yeah, well you’re tiny, an’ ye sit on the couch feelin’ sad an’ dramatic all day. We’re big, an’ we fuckin’ work out. Calories in, calories out, an’ all that shit. C’mon, we’re gonna watch whatever dumb Christmas film is on, then dessert.”

Kit’s jaw nearly fell off his hinges. “We’re still having dessert after that?”

“Well, yeah. It’d be a right lousy holiday if we didn’t.” Siofra shrugged, wrapping up the leftover ham before dragging him to the couch. Kit looked hesitant to take up space when there were so many family members not seated yet, so Siofra just pulled him onto her lap. He yelped in surprise, but didn’t move — she was soft and warm and remarkably comfortable. Riagán snorted and plunked down next to them.

“Ye lovebirds havin’ fun?”

“Mm… not till you go to sleep.” She grinned.

Cillian fake-gagged, squeezing into the remaining corner of the couch. “Gross!”

“At least I have a boyfriend, not a pillow I kiss at night.” Siofra said. Riagán snorted and Cillian smacked at them both with a throw pillow. He mostly just hit Riagán and Kit, since Siofra was being blocked from the front and the side. Riagán grabbed a cushion and smacked back, while Kit just yelped again.

Gran shuffled in with a mug of tea. “Boys! Not my good pillows! Beat each other with the ratty ones.”

Alistair just sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. He was starting to wish he’d just gone with Julius instead. He wanted him so badly. Siofra’s family were all friendly and boisterous, but Alistair wasn’t really attached to them like Kit was, being Siofra’s boyfriend. He was only there for Kit, and Kit seemed to have had enough of him too. He felt squeezed out on the edge again.

Kit was doing his best to play along, but he didn’t really feel any more at home than his cousin. He felt like an idiot jumping out of his skin every time a pillow flew at him, but he would’ve felt like more of an idiot asking the boys to stop. He slouched down, resting his head on Siofra’s chest, and she ran her fingers through his hair. Finny trotted into the living room, looking quite offended to see his owner’s lap taken. He laid down on the ground with a deep doggy sigh.

A moment later, Mr. Rafferty finally came to sit, taking the armchair opposite Gran’s rocking chair. He turned on the TV, flicking through channels of useless sludge until he hit the opening credits of A Christmas Carol. Kit knew every version of the story, inside and out, and before long, the familiarity was going in one ear and out the other while he stared off into the abyss. Alistair was similarly preoccupied, sitting with his chin on his knees. He kept his eyes closed, trying to blot out this other family he didn’t belong to. He was rudely interrupted by a wet nose snuffling his face. Finny was similarly peeved about his favourite human being preoccupied, and wanted attention.

Ruff.

Alistair smiled at him, letting Finny cuddle on his lap. He suddenly felt dangerously near tears, and blinked fiercely to stop himself weeping, hiding his face in Finny's fur. A large, pink tongue that smelled of gravy and mashed potatoes lapped at Alistair’s hair and the exposed parts of his cheeks. Alistair smiled a bit, ruffling Finny’s ears. “Ugh, gross,” he said fondly. Finny just licked his face again, letting out a low, cheerful boof. The sound caught Siofra’s attention and she nearly broke her neck turning to face Alistair without knocking Kit off her lap.

“Ya wanna take ‘im outside? He’s been in all afternoon.”

“Yeah,” Alistair said, desperate to escape. “Come on, Finny.”

The dog hopped up at once, wagging his tail and running to the front door. Alistair got his leash on, stepping out into the frigid winter air. Soft snowflakes were falling, and Finny was delighted, running around trying to catch them in his mouth. Alistair watched him, laughing — and then the giggles turned to tears so suddenly even Alistair was surprised. He didn’t even really know what he was crying about. It was just that it was Christmas, and he was lonely.

Finny immediately turned around, running back to Alistair and tackling him into the snow. He laid down on top of the now-prone Alistair, snuffling and licking his face. Alistair squealed and wrapped his arms around the wriggling lump of fur, half laughing, half crying. Finny continued to lick his face — that was the only way he knew how to fix crying humans. Snow was gathering on the tips of his dark ears, making them look like tiny mountains. Alistair tried to sit up, gently brushing the snow off. “Come on, it’s freezing. We should better go inside to play gooseberry.”

Finny shook himself off, hopping off of Alistair to run in circles around him. His fur kept him plenty warm, but he still returned to the front door after a minute, nudging Alistair along. Alistair laughed. “It’s like you’re looking after me,” he said, taking him back inside. Finny ran back inside, sniffing around to see if more food had come out in the interim. When he found nothing, he flopped down on the rug. Kit hadn’t moved an inch, still staring vacantly into the same spot on the wall. Gran waved when Alistair and Finny came back in.

“Hello, boys! How was the wretched tundra?”

“Bloody freezing, as expected. How’d you live out here? I thought old people got more cold,” Alistair said tactlessly.

Gran snorted. “That’s what alcohol is for. Why d’ye think the Russians are known for vodka?”

“Because it originates there?”

Gran paused for a long moment, then turned back around to watch the movie. “What a sheltered child…”

“I’m not sheltered,” Alistair grumbled.

“If ye don’t like shelter, ye could go back outside.” Riagán offered. Siofra elbowed him in the stomach.

“There’s hot chocolate on the counter.” She told Alistair. “Cilli wanted some, so we made a bunch. Knew yer fat arse would drink the rest.”

“My fat arse will,” Alistair said gratefully, going to grab a cup. Finny followed him, hoping for food. Alistair ruffled his fur. “Haven’t you eaten enough, greedy-guts? You’re as bad as your Siofra.”

“Oi!” Siofra called from the living room. Finny boofed in response, then turned back to Alistair to beg. Alistair couldn’t resist him for long, ferreting in the cupboards for a treat.

“You’re a menace, Finny. Giving me those big eyes.”

Ruff. Finny snuffled Alistair’s hand, happily crunching the treat. Alistair squatted beside him, sighing. “How come I can only make it work with you guys..? Animals. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be flipping human. My mother used to say I was half wild.” Finny licked his face.

Ruff.

Alistair stroked him fondly. “We should probably go back to the room…” Finny turned around obediently, thumping Alistair’s legs with his tail before returning to the living room. He stared indignantly at Kit, who was snoring on top of Siofra, flopping down on the rug again. Alistair flopped in a similar fashion beside him, curling around Finny like they were two dogs together. Finny wrapped his tail around Alistair, giving his face a big, sloppy lick. Siofra chuckled.

“D’you two need a room?”

“Bugger off,” Alistair said lazily. Finny licked his nose again, happy to have attention since his owner was preoccupied. Siofra just chuckled.

“He seems pretty happy with ya.”

“It’s only because Kit’s purloined you.”

“Oh, so you’re both jealous?” Siofra grinned.

“Evidently.”

“I mean, there’s space on my lap for two more. Kit is like the size’o my leg.”

“It’s a lovely offer, but I think I’ll pass,” Alistair said, rolling his eyes. “Kit’s happy there anyway. It’s nothing against you, I’m just...protective. Trust me, if you were a lanky streak of piss like Kit, your brothers would be the same.”

Siofra snorted so hard she nearly woke Kit, and her brothers laughed as well. Gran just chuckled and shook her head. Alistair grinned, curling back up with Finny. He could hear his soft heartbeat through his thick fur. The dog licked his nose more gently before curling up to sleep.

By the time the movie was over, Finny, Kit, and Cillian were all sound asleep. Siofra finally nudged the snoring red lump in her lap. “Oi. Get off, I want dessert.” Kit groaned dramatically and didn’t move.

“Come sit with me and Finny,” Alistair mumbled sleepily.

“I’m not sitting on the floor with the dog.” Kit sighed.

“I thought your fat arse would get up when ye heard ‘dessert.’” Siofra teased.

“Depends on what you’re eating.”

Siofra looked at him strangely. “Pudding, soda bread, cake, tarts. Y’know… dessert?”

“We always had just one dessert at home, they’d just be like “it’s meringues” or “it’s banoffee pie.” I am aware of what dessert is,” Alistair said.

“We had lots of desserts at parties.” Kit mumbled.

“Course ye did, Princess.” Siofra lifted him off of her, setting him in the warm spot she’d left on the couch. She kicked Cillian lightly. “Oi. Dessert.” He popped up like a jack-in-the-box.

“Dessert?”

Riagán was already barrelling past his little brother into the kitchen, while Mr. Rafferty helped Gran out of her chair.

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Like Pavlov’s dogs.”

“Yer mum’s a dog.” Siofra mumbled. Finny lifted his head and barked. He’d heard ‘dog.’

Alistair was distracted, ruffling Finny’s ears. “Ooh, you’re so clever!” Finny licked his face and trotted off to the kitchen as well. Alistair followed Finny, walking two steps behind him, as if he was the dog and Finny the human. Everyone was crowded around the counter, piling plates full of dessert. Meanwhile, Kit pattered off down the hallway, in search of his guest room. Alistair backed away from the crowd too, anxiety overwhelming the desire for dessert. He made a dash for his room. Kit was already there, rooting in his suitcase, and he yelped in surprise.

“Al! What are you doing here?”

“Getting away from everybody. It’s all a bit intense. What’re you doing?”

“Looking for a handkerchief.” Kit mumbled. “Are you really so scared of Siofra’s family that you’re avoiding dessert?”

“Not just all the people. It’s Christmas itself,” Alistair mumbled, flopping back on Kit’s bed. “It freaks me out when I see all these families being all happy and jolly together. I used to do it with Jules too.”

Kit rolled his eyes, but he didn’t comment. He needed Alistair to leave, but he wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m surprised Finny didn’t follow you.”

“He’ll be wanting table scraps. What’re you doing hovering by your case?”

“Trying to find my… handkerchief.” It took Kit a minute to remember what he’d said he was looking for.

“Just blow your nose on some bog roll. Do you want me to get some?”

Kit had to swallow a sigh of relief. “Yes, please. Meet me back in the living room.”

“Okay…” Alistair was a bit perplexed by that, Kit was the type who’d leave the room to blow his nose in private, but he left to grab some toilet paper anyway. By the time Alistair found the bathroom and got back, Kit had stumbled back to the living room, arms piled high with wrapped gifts.

Siofra had just finished fighting her brothers over a particularly large tart, and she turned to walk back into the living room. When she saw her boyfriend staggering under a heap of gifts, she nearly shrieked.

“Where in fuck did those come from?”

“What the fuck are you yelling about..?” Alistair mumbled, trailing into the room. His jaw dropped when he spotted Kit. “Fuck me! Did you loot a whole shop?”

“It didn’t all come from one shop. Even Amazon wouldn’t have the right things for everyone.” Kit huffed. He was setting down gifts by everyone’s seats, and there was a stack of several boxes where Alistair had been laying on the floor.

“Can we open them now?” Alistair asked excitedly.

“Wait for everyone to get settled. Go grab dessert or something. I know you’ll bitch if everyone is sitting here with sweets but you.” Kit said. Alistair poked his tongue out at Kit, but did as he was told. Finny was still lingering in the kitchen, trying to appeal to Gran for sweets. She rolled her eyes.

“Ye can’t eat tarts, ye great foolish beast.”

Finny barked in protest. Alistair slipped him a bit of pastry when he thought she wasn’t looking. Gran saw it, but she just smacked him with her napkin and shuffled back to the living room. There was still a fair amount of dessert left — she always made more than enough for the group she was hosting. Alistair grabbed a few more tarts and then hurried back to the living room. He was curious about the gifts. Finny padded after him, sniffing curiously at the small package that had been left where he sat.

Kit shifted nervously on his feet. “Er, if it’s alright, I’d like Siofra to go first. Since she’s the one that brought me here and all…”

Mr. Rafferty was staring incredulously at the tiny, neatly-wrapped box in his seat, still gobsmacked that he’d gotten a gift from this borderline stranger. He looked up when Siofra threw a pillow at him.

“Dad? Can I open mine?”

“Oh, uh, go ahead.” He nodded.

Siofra tore into the box at once, revealing a gold pendant with green gemstones clustered into a loose circle. The gems ranged in colour from pale and yellowish to deep blue-green, and many of the hues reflected in her eyes as she held it up. She couldn’t hide the grin spreading across her face.

“Bloody hell… this is stunnin’. Don’t tell me how much ye spent on it. I might have to kill ya.”

“Well, then it suits you. It’s a one-of-a-kind piece. I like the arrangement of gems, it almost reminded me of freckles.” Kit murmured.

Siofra scoffed. “Ya sappy piece’o shit.” She was grinning even as she said it, and she yanked him closer for a suffocating hug. Once she released Kit to breathe again, she looked around the room. “Alright, who’s next?”

“Um, let’s do your brothers. I want Al to go last.” Kit said.

Neither Cillian nor Riagán offered to let the other go first; they tore into their boxes nearly simultaneously. Cillian’s gift was a pair of blue, black, and white Air Jordans, the colours almost identical to his favourite jacket. He gasped. “Shit! Siofra, did ye tell ‘im to get these?”

She shrugged. “I just gave ‘im yer size. He did the shoppin’.”

Riagán was similarly awestruck by his gift — a glossy William Henry pocket knife that looked more like a piece of jewelry than a weapon. This time, Kit spoke for himself.

“Siofra told me your old knife broke last time you were camping. This one should be a bit more… resilient.”

“Fuckin’ hell…” Riagán was staring slackjawed into the box. “I… shit… I mean… thanks, mate. That sounds pathetic, but, I just… I dunno what to say.”

Kit just smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay. As long as you like it, that’s all I need to know.”

Siofra was bouncing on the edge of her seat, just as delighted by the others’ gifts as her own. “Dad! Yours now!”

Mr. Rafferty chuckled and shook his head. He wasn’t sure what to expect; he didn’t know Kit personally like his sons, so it would probably just be a really expensive gift card or something. His beard and lower jaw nearly dropped off his face when he unwrapped the tiny box to see tickets to Yo-Yo Ma’s Bach Project performance in Barcelona, with accompanying plane tickets to Spain for the week of the show. He looked at Kit like he was expecting it to be a joke, but Kit just smiled.

“Siofra’s told me a lot about you. I tried to find something I thought you would like. If it’s not to your interest, I can get something else.”

“No, no no no. This is… amazin’. I’m just wonderin’… why?” Mr. Rafferty was still staring at Kit in utter confusion.

“It’s nice to make people happy. I have more money than I could ever spend. Why not do something decent with it?” Kit shrugged.

Mr. Rafferty still seemed a little blown away by the whole thing, but he nodded. “That’s… I suppose that’s fair.”

Kit was already turning to smile sheepishly at Gran. “I’m sorry, I know the wine must seem a bit anticlimactic. Siofra didn’t give me much notice I was going to be meeting you.”

“Dear, yer pretty arse stayin’ in my house is enough to make my Christmas merry. Wine is just the icin’ on the cake.” She grinned, her eyes scrunching and sparkling much in the same way Siofra’s had.

Kit chuckled. “You’re too kind. Al? Would you like to help Finny open his gift?”

Alistair did as he was told silently, a little awestruck by all the other gifts. He put Finny’s paw on the package as he ripped the paper to make sure Finny knew it was his present. Finny snuffled it curiously. At first the box looked like it held fancy candy, but upon closer inspection, they were actually gourmet dog treats. Finny was nosing at the box, clearly eager to examine its contents.

Siofra laughed. “Now ye can have dessert too, ye fat furry bastard.” Finny barked at her. Alistair opened the box for him, letting Finny stick his nose in and rootle around. The dog scarfed up a treat at once, trying to eat a second one before he’d even finished chewing. Siofra let him have a second, but then she took the box before he could devour them all. Kit was hovering nervously by his cousin, watching as Finny settled down.

“Alright, Al. Your turn.”

“Finally!” Alistair said, but he sounded nervous too. Maybe it was just everyone watching him. He started tearing the wrapping paper off the top box, struggling with the sellotape with his bitten nails. It finally gave, revealing a book of cold-press cotton paper and a tray of sixteen high-end watercolours.

Alistair had been preparing a thank you on his tongue, but he couldn’t speak now. He’d have never been able to afford these himself, but he’d always wanted to try them. He leapt over the box and hugged Kit hard — and he was still only on the first box. The older boy let out a strangled squawk.

“Al! Don’t choke me yet. I’d like to see you at least open your other gifts…”

“Okay, but I’m choking you afterwards,” Alistair said, tearing at the next box. This one was something Kit had researched for hours before picking it out — a 24-inch Wacom Cintiq Pro drawing tablet.

Alistair looked like he was going to have a heart attack. “Kit, you’re fucking amazing.”

“Open the last one, then suck my dick.” Kit grinned.

“You’re awful. I love you.” Alistair couldn’t sort through his emotions when he was this excited. He eagerly opened the last box. It was smaller than the Wacom, a sleek silver Macbook Pro.

“I figured your old computer wouldn’t hold up to Photoshop very well. Or rather… the salesman who helped me pick out your tablet figured.” Kit said.

“Dude. Kit.” Alistair almost did throttle his cousin when he hugged him this time. “They’re the most perfect presents I’ve ever been given…”

Kit made a louder squawking noise, trying to pull away enough to breathe. Finny was nosing curiously at Alistair’s things, but he knew better than to lick or chew on them. Alistair went and hugged him too. “Look at the stuff Kit bought me, Finny! Now I can do art like a real artist! Isn’t he fucking awesome!”

Kit just smiled, sitting on the couch to help Siofra with the clasp of her new necklace. Finny boofed, excited because Alistair was excited. He gave the boy’s face a big, sloppy lick. Alistair romped on the floor with him, bouncing off the walls now. He was like a kid on a sugar high. Finny rolled around, delighted to be getting so much attention, while Siofra and her family settled on the couch to eat dessert. Gran was pouring wine for those who wanted it, and Kit gratefully took a glass. He leaned on Siofra, but stayed awake this time, quiet and watchful.

“What about your presents, Kit?” Alistair said under Finny.

“Me? What could I possibly need as a gift?”

“I’ll give you mine later,” he whispered. “I don’t want everyone seeing it. Don’t get excited though, like you said, you’ve got everything.”

“I mean, I have somethin’ for ye, too, but it’s also not somethin’ I can give ye in public.” Siofra grinned. Kit’s cheeks flared red, but the Rafferty boys and Gran just laughed.

“Gross, Siofra,” Alistair mumbled.

“Yer mum’s gross.” She smirked.

“True.”

Finny boofed, and Siofra smiled. “Don’t worry Finn, yer mum was lovely.”

“You knew her?” Alistair said curiously.

“No, but I did. She was quite the charmin’ bitch.” Mr. Rafferty grinned.

“Well. That’s good,” Alistair said awkwardly. Finny saved him from further conversation by trotting over to the door and whining. Alistair leapt up at once. “I’ll take him out.”

“Thanks.” Siofra smiled at him. “Take a jacket, it’s bloody baltic outside.”

Alistair grabbed the first one off the rack, which must have belonged to one of the Rafferty men, since it looked like it was trying to swallow Alistair whole when he put it on. “Come on, Finn.”

Finny boofed delightedly, barreling out the door as soon as it was open. Snow had been falling heavily, and it was up to his belly fur, but he ran through it without hesitation.

“Jesus! Look at this!” Alistair ran out into the show, shivering. He’d shoved his bare feet into somebody’s gigantic trainers, and they were offering little protection. “Fuck, my feet are cold, Finny.”

Finny’s fur seemed to be doing a stellar job of keeping him warm. He ran around chasing snowflakes for a while before even remembering he’d been let out to piss. Alistair tried to run after him, but the borrowed shoes were so big he kept stepping out of them and stepping into the snow in his bare feet. “I am losing toes here, Finny,” Alistair called, but he still didn’t go inside.

Finny eventually wore himself out, running back to Alistair and snuffling at his legs. He was full after being spoiled with snacks all evening, and not as hyper as earlier. When Alistair let the dog back inside, Siofra and Cillian were helping clean up dessert dishes, and Gran was asking Kit about his travels. He seemed a little flustered to be in the spotlight, but once she got him going on a story about visiting Japan, he rambled enthusiastically, telling her about the temples he’d seen. Alistair staggered into the kitchen with snow in his hair, his feet practically blue.

Siofra snorted. “Jaysus, who’s the Ice Princess now?”

“The bloody snow outside is deep.”

“Ya coulda taken my boots.” She grinned, “They’d fit just fine.”

“I just took the first shoes I found,” he grumbled.

“Figured. Would some hot chocolate warm ya up?” Siofra asked.

“God, yes please.”

Siofra laughed, going over to the stove to make fresh cocoa. Finny had joined them in the kitchen, hoping to catch any dropped crumbs. Alistair didn’t have food to offer, but he pet Finny’s ears. The dog wagged his tail, thumping Alistair's legs. He watched Siofra eagerly as she worked on the stove.

“This ain't for you, fat-arse. You've already had fancy treats and all sorts'o scraps.” She told him. Finny sighed, laying down right in the middle of the kitchen floor.

“Can’t he have a little bit of something?” Alistair asked.

“No. He's already had way more than usual. Don't want ‘im gettin’ sick, or fat.”

“Fat dogs are super cute.”

“They're also super unhealthy.” Siofra replied sternly. She finished the cocoa, pouring some into a fresh mug.

“Sorry, Finny. I tried.”

Finny boofed, continuing to lay right in Siofra's way. She just stepped over him and handed Alistair the mug. He took it gratefully, trying to warm his freezing hands.

“Go sit on the couch. We got plenty'o blankets.”

“Who else is there?” Alistair asked warily.

Siofra rolled her eyes. “Yer cousin. Riagán maybe, but ‘e's probably gone to set up sleepin’ bags.”

“Okay.” He mooched off to the living room, going to cuddle up with Kit on the sofa. Kit was still nursing the same glass of wine, and he yelped when his cousin sat down.

“Good Lord, Al, you're freezing!”

“I know. My feet are numb.”

“There’s blankets on the back’o the couch!” Siofra yelled from the kitchen. Gran and Mr. Rafferty had left the living room, so Riagán had taken over the armchair.

Alistair grabbed a couple of blankets, wrapping Kit up too. “Thank you so much for those gifts, Kit. You spoil me.”

“I try.” Kit mumbled, leaning on Alistair’s shoulder. He was still holding his wineglass, but he’d stopped sipping from it a while ago.

“I wish I could get you something as special,” he sighed.

“Like what, Al? You’re not being rude by not spending money you don’t have.”

“I’m just saying, I wish.”

“I wish I was in bed.” Kit mumbled. His eyelids were fluttering as he fought to keep them up, and he had to set his wine down before he dropped the glass.

“Want me to carry you?” Alistair offered.

Kit nodded. “Mm. Come to bed with me. Get warm.”

Alistair snorted. “I thought you and Siofra were having a holiday hump?”

“Tomorrow. I’m tired.”

“Glad to know I’m valued!” Siofra called from the kitchen. Alistair grinned, hauling Kit up in his arms. Cillian waved as they walked off to the guest room.

“Night!”

“Night,” Alistair said back, plopping Kit on the bed carefully. Kit held his arms out, hoping his cousin would crawl in bed with him. He hadn’t even changed out of his clothes. Alistair couldn’t resist him, climbing under the sheets beside him. “Don’t you want to change?”

“Oh… I suppose I should.” Kit was so tired, he hadn’t given it the slightest thought.

“Do you want me to just do it? It’s not like I haven’t dressed you for bed before.” Alistair offered.

“...please?”

Alistair grinned. “Okay. Stay still then.”

Kit just flopped on the bed like a dramatic ragdoll, allowing his cousin to dress him. He heard snickering and looked up to see Siofra in the doorway.

“I didn’t think nobles still needed servants to dress ‘em.” She grinned.

Kit’s cheeks flared red. “I… it’s not like that!”

“Really? Didja go quadriplegic in the last five minutes?”

“...no.”

“Then what’s it like?” Siofra asked.

Kit hung his head, clearly embarrassed. “...I’m tired.”

She snorted. “Too tired to put on yer own pyjamas!”

“He offered!” Kit cried.

“This is quite a usual thing,” Alistair agreed. “It’s just easier than forcing him up to do it himself.”

“Christ. Ye rich folk are really somethin’ else.” Siofra shook her head, but she was smiling.

“I’m not a rich folk anymore.”

“Ah, right. You’re just weird. Well, I’ll leave ye weirdos to it.” She walked off down the hall, and Kit could hear her talking to Finny out in the living room.

“She’s the weird one. This whole family is weird,” Alistair said. He didn’t sound mad, just perplexed. “They all like...love each other.”

Kit laughed so hard, Alistair had to let go of his sleeve. “Al… that’s how normal families are.”

“It’s weird! They’re not any bit of drama or resentment. Even Jules’s dad has been screwing someone else. Even his family is a bit fucked up.”

“Well, I mean, Siofra said she never liked her mum much. But it’s really not as weird as you’re making it out to be. I’m sure they fight sometimes.” Kit shrugged.

“Oh god, I bet that’s a riot.”

“You’re a riot.” Kit mumbled, flopping down on the bed with a sigh.

“Are you too tired to open my present tonight?” Alistair asked quietly.

Kit sat up, trying to smooth himself out. “Oh, no. I just forgot. Sorry.”

Alistair grinned. “Shocker. Like I said, don’t be too excited… I wish I could afford to get you something really nice.” He rifled in his case and pulled out a little oblong parcel wrapped in deep blue paper.

“I can buy myself nice things. I’m just curious to see what you thought of.” Kit took the parcel, peeling off the paper slowly and carefully.

It was a necklace, very dainty and delicate, the chains so fragile they seemed as brittle as a daisy chain. There was a rose pendant at the bottom, uncannily similar to the ring Kit wore to remember his mother: same design, colour, roughly similar in size. Alistair had bought it second-hand, but he’d polished it up until it shone like it was new. Kit immediately looked down at his ring, stricken by the similarity. As far as he’d known, the ring didn’t have a companion piece — it was an old heirloom, one of the few remnants of when his mother’s family was wealthy. He was quiet for a long time, chewing thoughtfully on his lower lip.

“How… where did you find this?”

Alistair nudged his shoulder gently. “You know, you do still have an aunt…”

Kit nearly dropped the necklace. “It’s actually…” he stumbled over his words, too choked up to articulate himself, “It was hers? Or… the family’s, at least?”

“Yep. I would’ve told you I’d been in touch sooner, but I wanted to give you this first,” Alistair said. “Máire wants to talk to you again, too.”

Kit clutched the threadlike chain, his hands too shaky to put on the clasp. He was quiet, save for small, shuddering breaths, before collapsing against Alistair, sobbing and hugging his cousin tightly. Alistair held him just as tight. “So yeah… Máire was kinda part of your present.”

Kit shook his head, burying his face in Alistair’s shoulder. “She won’t want to see me. Not like this.”

“Of course she will! She was dead excited to hear from even me, so she’ll be really happy. I showed her a picture of you and she couldn’t believe how much you’ve changed,” Alistair laughed.

“I’m sure that picture looked worlds better than I do now.” Kit sighed. He was all too aware of how corpse-like he’d looked as of late.

“Well, it’ll probably make her auntie instincts come out. She kept telling me I hadn’t changed a bit.” He rolled his eyes. “Mnn, flattering.”

“You still don’t brush your hair.” Kit was chuckling through the tears now.

“She kept trying to smooth it down just like when we were kids,” Alistair said, grinning. “She said how handsome you are now.”

“When did you go see her?” Kit asked.

“Not too long before we came out here. I found her on Facebook and we chatted for a bit first.”

Kit nodded. “Does Julie know?”

“Yeah. He’s the only thing that kept me from telling you. I almost caved a hundred times this week.”

Kit couldn’t help giggling. “You were always awful with secrets. It’s probably good you didn’t realize you were gay sooner.”

“I know, I’d have told everyone in a heartbeat. I’d have had to live in your cupboard or some shit like a fucking war criminal.”

"Virgin war criminal more like." Kit smirked. He was no longer crying, and he sat up enough to put the necklace on.

“I could’ve seen your hair during your Draco blond phase,” Alistair said, helping Kit do up the clasp.

Kit cringed. "Oh god. I think I burned my yearbook from that phase."

"What phase?" Siofra popped her head into the room, as she'd walked over to check on the boys.

"Doesn't matter." Kit replied hastily.

Siofra smirked. "I'll be nice enough to pretend I believe ya. I thought ye came in here to sleep?"

"I did," Kit said, "I forgot Al still had a gift to give me."

"Ye know I do too, right?" Siofra asked.

Kit shook his head. "Not while we're sharing a room with him. That's just cruel."

"A real gift, ye twit. I was jokin' ‘bout fuckin' bein' yer gift. I'll fuck ye anytime, holidays be damned."

"Oh." Kit blinked. "Do… do you want to give it to me now?"

"Nah. You're havin' a moment. I can leave ye two here. D'ye need anything before I go?" She asked.

"Er… I don't think so. Al?"

“No thanks. But you can do the gift exchange if you want,” Alistair said. “I’ll go piss or something if you want privacy.”

"Nah, I'm not that fussed. It's nothin' fancy. I just thought I oughta offer more than a shag." Siofra shrugged. She dug through her own bag, which was sitting on the floor, and pulled out a wrapped box. Kit opened it as meticulously as the last gift, eventually revealing a small wooden box. He undid the latch, revealing an ornate silver hairbrush, with a matching mirror and comb.

"It's lovely," he smiled, lifting the mirror and turning it over. The back had delicate scrolling detail like the brush, and it was immaculately glossy.

"Oh, good." Siofra grinned, seemingly relieved.

"What, did you think I wouldn't like it?" Kit asked.

"Honestly, I was afraid you'd already have ten."

“You are a nightmare to buy gifts for, Kit,” Alistair agreed. “Just cause you’ve got fucking everything.”

"Well, that's why I don't ask for anything!" He cried defensively.

“I’m just teasing you, dope,” Alistair said fondly.

"You're a dope," Kit mumbled, leaning against his cousin with a drowsy sigh. Siofra took the box off his lap, clasping it shut and setting it aside.

"You lot get some sleep. I'll be to bed in a while."  

“I’ll look after him,” Alistair promised.

Siofra nodded. "Ya got enough blankets?"

“For me, yes. For Kit, we could probably do with a couple more.”

"Figured. I'll be right back." Siofra stepped away, returning a few minutes later with some soft throw blankets and a handmade quilt. "This oughta do ya." She dumped the blankets on the boys, and Kit groaned dramatically. "Sorry princess, no peas in the mattress."

Alistair snorted. “That really is you.”

"Is not," Kit mumbled, "my servants know better than to leave peas in my mattress."

“Who the hell would do that in the first place?” Alistair muttered.

Siofra snorted. "Get some sleep, idiots," she said, closing the door quietly and walking off down the hall. Her brothers and father were in the kitchen, drinking beer and talking rugby, but Gran was sitting in the living room, peering through her coke-bottle glasses at a book. Siofra walked through the living room, stepping into her boots to take Finny out.

"Ye really like that lad, don't ye?" Gran's voice behind her made Siofra jump.

"I like 'im well enough." She shrugged.

"Better than enough, I'd say, if ye bothered to bring 'im all the way out here."

Siofra huffed, shaking her head and lacing up her boots. "I'm feelin' it out, Gran. I ain't committed to nothin' yet."

"Well, feel him out a bit extra for me. He's a good-lookin' one." Gran said, her magnified eyes twinkling with mischief.

Siofra couldn't help snorting. "I will. Just don't harp on about nothin' in front'o him. He had a bad breakup not too long back. You'll scare 'im off if ye get too serious."

"I'm too old to take things serious. Just have fun with 'im." Gran shrugged.

"I plan to. I gotta take Finny out now, alright? Get some sleep." Siofra bent down, hugging her grandmother tightly before standing up and whistling for the dog. Finny bounded over at once, tail wagging eagerly as Siofra clipped his leash on. "C'mon, lad. Let's see what the forest looks like tonight."

[fvckhxbits]

wow. [c.e]

a/n: chris has all my uwus and this is part four and the finale lmao

summary: so what happens when you finally kiss the love of your life? 

word count: 1,889

warnings: I apologize if u prefer a different kind of juice; y’all im shook idk what im writing half the time; fluff if u squint; also wtf kind of summary man

It’s been weeks since you’ve spoken to Chris and yet here you are, standing in front of his door. Taking a deep breath, you knock aggressively before waiting and contemplating on if you should just leave now while you can. Before you can make a decision, the door cracks open and you give him a small smile. “Why the hell haven’t you been answering my calls?” He opens the door wider, inviting you inside but you know better and continue to stand in the same spot.

“Come in,” he says, motioning for you to come inside but you continue to stand there, frozen like a deer in headlights. 

“I need to talk to you,” you inhale deeply and he stares at you for a long while before crossing his arms. 

“Well, come inside and we can talk.” He raises a brow and moves aside for you to come inside and you forfeit, slipping inside and making a beeline to the living room. “So, what’s up?” He makes his way to the kitchen, knowing that you normally ask for a cup of juice of some sort. You don’t answer, chickening out on telling him how you really feel. When he sees you’re not going to talk, he continues, “So why haven’t you been answering my calls?”

You look over at him, “I-I’ve been busy,”

“Doing what?” He slips the cup of apple juice into your hand and when his fingers brush against your skin, you can’t help but relish the feeling and your hand twitches, wanting to grab his but you barely stop yourself. 

“Stuff,” you nonchalantly answer which is better than you expected. You shrug and take a sip the apple juice as he looks at you, scanning your face. You shift in discomfort and turn away from him. “So, what’s her name?”

“I missed you,” he ignores your question and your heart buzzes in a way you can’t describe. You can hear him stepping closer and your heart accelerates to the point where you nearly can’t hear anything except for his footsteps coming up from behind you.

“Chris,” you whisper, turning towards him.

“Like, really missed you,” he stares at you and his hand is hovering over your upper arm. Your skin is begging to be touched by him, to be wooed and relished in every sense. You’re subconsciously biting your lip when you lean up slightly to look at him and the next thing you know, you’re kissing him like your life depended on it because it was starting to feel like it did. 

That was a rule you two had made when you decided to start fucking around was to not ever kiss on the lips. It was mainly because it was a symbol for romantic love and it didn’t make sense to kiss each other on the lips if you weren’t romantically involved. It was a rule made for good measures but damn, you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t wanted to break that rule since day one.

“Chris?” A voice echos through the house and you’re pushing him away, grabbing the apple juice and slinging yourself over the couch, careful not to spill the juice. He takes a little longer to process what just happened and clears his throat, “In here,”

You had known about his long dating history but you weren’t expecting to see his long time ex, Minka. She was the longest person he had been with and no doubt he still had feelings for her. Obviously, you tell yourself, why the fuck else would he be with her, dumbass.

“Hey,” she smiles and makes her way over to him, kissing him on the cheek and he looks uncomfortable when he smiles back and wraps his arm around her waist.

“This is [Y/N],” Chris steps away from her for a second and you smile weakly, giving her a small smile of acknowledgement. 

“So this is [Y/N],” she smiles and makes her way over to you. “I’m Minka,” she holds out her hand for you to shake and stupidly, you high five her instead. Her smile fades and she looks at Chris like is she okay and you swallow hard, turning back to your apple juice. “Nice to finally meet you,” she says and you ignore her, unsure of how to react so instead you just nod, still sipping on the juice. “So...” She turns back to Chris and smiles brightly, “are you ready?”

“For?” Chris looks at her in confusion and she laughs it off.

“Our date,” she reminds him and the lightbulb goes off in his head. “Right,” he looks over at you as if trying to gage your reaction. “Thanks for coming over to watch Dodger for me on such short time,” Chris adds and you look up over at him, offering him a small smile.

“Anything for a friend,”

“I’ll see you in a few hours then.” He grabs his jacket and takes Minka’s offered hand. She swings his hand a little as they make their way out of his place. You sigh, letting out a frustrated scream which echos and Dodger happily yips, making his way towards you. He bounces up onto the couch and you rub his belly, “At least you love me, don’tcha bubba,” you mumble and he happily wags his tail at the attention he’s receiving. 

After Dodger falls asleep to your addictive petting, you slip off the couch and make your way to Chris’ room. You purse your lips as you peek inside and find it to be in the same condition that it was the last time you were here--clean but of course, Dodger’s loyal lion slumped on the floor beside the foot of the bed. You smile softly before mindlessly trailing into his room and you walk past his closet, hands brushing against the soft materials. You smile and inhale deeply, savoring the scent of his cologne. You make your way to his bed, falling down onto it as you splay your body on his cool sheets. 

The bed dips and you look to find Chris hovering over you with that smirk of his and you instinctively reach to grab his arm, biting your lip. He smiles at the sight of you and leans down to press a feather-like kiss on your neck. “Chris,” your voice is soft, almost pleading and he moves, his hands gliding up your body from your hips, then under your shirt until he’s pulling it off. As he tosses it aside, you reach for the button on his jeans and make quick work of trying to slide them off of him. He chuckles a little when you attempt to strategically shove his pants off with your feet but sorta failed. “You’re cute,” he whispers, assisting you before he leans back over to press kisses on your hips, then your waist, then your breasts and lastly, your lips. You greedily accept, Minka being the last thing on your mind. “I love you.” You whisper when he pulls back with his lips millimeters away from yours.

You wake in a jolt, looking around at your surroundings with a cold sweat. “The fuck,” you whisper and slide off his bed, making your way out to the living room to check on Dodger who is still sound asleep and you notice that it’s dark out. Jesus, you make your way back to his room in search for some clothes, knowing he secretly kept clothing for you in case something ever happened. You grab a shirt and some undies, then steal a towel before stepping into his glorious bathroom. If you could live in his bathroom, you would. It was twice as big as your own bedroom and it made you envy Chris for the gorgeous house he obtained through his hard work. As you strip, you turn on the water and are oblivious to the sound of the front door closing.

Chris can hear the shower in his bedroom running and he smiles to himself a little. He tosses his keys into the bowl and trudges over to Dodger’s sleeping form and strokes that one part behind his ear. Dodger is stirred awake and he yips at the sight of his dad. Chris laughs and kisses his son on the top of his head, “Missed ya too bubba,” Chris grins and continues to pet Dodger while he paws at his dad affectionately.

“Where’s your lion?” Chris smiles and Dodger whines, flopping his head to one side as if he couldn’t understand what his dad was asking. “Ya big baby,” Chris laughs and stands, heading into his bedroom and grabbing the lion, not before catching a glimpse of your naked form. You’re drying yourself and humming softly and his cock twitches at the same time, his heart thuds in his chest loudly. Chris’ phone slips out of his pocket and hits the carpeted floor, making a dull noise loud enough that you can hear. You flinch, eyes wide as you attempt to pull on your clothes quickly in case someone had broken into Chris’ house which later on you realize didn’t make sense because he lived in a gated neighborhood.

You make quick work to call Chris and of course, his phone blares loudly in the same room as you and you peek your head out to see Chris standing there like an idiot, in the middle of picking up his phone with the stuffed lion tucked under his arm. “Hi,” he laughs a little and you breathe heavily.

“Jesus fuck,” you grumble, opening the bathroom door wider so you can leave. “Fucking scared me,” you trudge out, hand on your hip as you end the call. 

“I dunno what Jesus has to--oof,” he looks at you and is met with a pillow to the face.

“Shut up,” you snort and snatch the lion out of his hand. “Is Dodger--”

Dodger yips at the sound of his name and you smile. “What is it bubba?” You ask him and he howls in response before galloping into the bedroom, rolling over onto his back. “Hey baby,” you say in a baby voice and hand him his trusty lion before he goes ham on it. Now with Dodger distracted, it’s easier for Chris to bring up the kiss so you quickly stand, “I’m gonna get outta your hair now,” you make quick work of grabbing your things but he stops you.

“So what, you’re just going to pretend like what you did, didn’t happen?”

You turn around, feeling as if he was attacking you so you immediately become defensive. “I--”

He interrupts you by pressing his lips to yours and you’re kissing him back with so much passion and emotion. You feel like you’re about to fall apart, burst with love and you honestly don’t know what you’re feeling. All you know is that he’s kissing you like his life depended on it and you’re doing the same. You’ve never had a kiss that compared to anything like this and Chris’d be lying if he said this kiss didn’t make him dizzy. “Jesus fuck,” he whispers as he parts from you momentarily.

“I dunno what Jesus has to do with this,” you whisper and he can’t help but kiss you again and again, pulling you close to his body.

[previous]

[masterlist]

[96xie]

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.