#but idek if i can jinx it i mean i already have so much good heroes that i genuinely dont need anyone else? so i should probablt keep saving

[asakurahaos]

i have absurdly good luck with summons but in a game im not interested in playing at all

[rontufox]

I completed this way too long of meme thing

1: My name? Brian! 2: Do I have any nicknames? Rontu!

3: Zodiac sign? Sagittarius!! 4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? Breath of the Wild.... if I owned it 5: Book/series I reread? Island of the Blue Dolphins lol 6: Aliens or ghosts? neither, ugh 7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? Furudate 8: Favourite radio station? I haven’t listened to the radio in like... 3 years 9: Favourite flavour of anything? how the heck am I supposed to answer this? 10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? SO COOL 11: Favourite song? Aru Machi no Gunjou by Asian Kung-Fu Generation 12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? I don’t make friends 13: Favourite word? bro

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? yeah 15: Last song I listened to? T.O.P. (the second ending song in Sonic X.... lol) 16: TV show I always recommend? HAIKYUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 17: Pirates or ninjas? *groans* 18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? hm.... I only watch movies when I’m happy 19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? just...... tons of cheerful chiptune by Malmen 20: Favourite video games? platformers 21: What am I most afraid of? yes I’ll totally tell you 22: A good quality of mine? strong, optimistic 23: A bad quality of mine? distrustful lol 24: Cats or dogs? both 25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in? NONE 26: Favourite season? WINTER!!!!!!!!!! 27: Am I in a relationship? I give and get so much love ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼 28: Something I miss? Angel’s Landing, I really wanna hike it 29: My best friend? my bro 30: Eye colour? BROWN!! 31: Hair colour? brown 32: Someone I love? my bro 33: Someone I trust? my bro 34: Someone I always think about? MIGHTY THE ARMADILLO 35: Am I excited about anything? my wonderful life 36: My current obsession? my Sonic fic 37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Power Rangers, Sonic SatAM, Rocko’s Modern Life, Powerpuff Girls, DBZ were my most fav 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? I have no idea what that is 39: Am I superstitious? no. 40: What do I think about most? how lucky I am 41: Do I have any strange phobias? fans.  I thought it was just ceiling fans, but at some stupid camping retreat I was forced to go to, there was a rotating fan whose sound kept making me feel like I was gonna die??  I was terrified man idek 42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? both are cool 43: Favourite hobbies? drawing and writing 44: Last book I read? Island of the Blue Dolphins 45: Last film I watched? Interstellar 46: Do I play any instruments? nope 47: Favourite animal? FOX 48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? I don’t like doing ones like this 49: Superpower I wish I could have? cliche but I wanna fly 50: How do I destress? listening to music, writing, and hanging with my bro 51: Do I like confrontation? no. 52: When do I feel most at peace? when I’m alone 53: What makes me smile? Mighty............ 54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? off 55: Play any sports? I love soccer 56: What is my song of the week? gosh I don’t know 57: Favourite drink? almond milk tea now 58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? oh shoot... uh... like a year ago? 59: Afraid of heights? NO.  I love them 60: Pet peeve? you know what.  I hate when people are like “knock on wood” or like “you jinxed it by saying something!”  my gosh, shut up, can anyone ever say anything without people doing that?? 61: What was the last concert I went to see? my gosh this is boring 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? no 63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? I wanted to work with animals 64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? yeah you wouldn’t believe the horrible stuff 2 people did to me in highschool/college 65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? idk 66: Something I worry about? I used to always worry I’d leave the house without a shirt on without realizing it.  I haven’t worried about that since my surgery LOL 67: Scared of the dark? no 68: Who are my best friends? mind your gosh dang business, but, you already asked this 69: What do I admire most about others? kindness 70: Can I sing? no but it’s fun 71: Something I wish I could do? hmmmm.... fly still lol 72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? idk it’s so boring to think about cuz it’d never happen 73: Have I ever skipped school? I guess?  by faking being sick 74: Favourite place on the planet? myself 75: Where do I want to live? Colorado 76: Do I have any pets? a cat named Sarai 77: What is my current desktop picture? a flowery place with pine trees and snowy mountains in the distance 78: Early bird or night owl? early 79: Sunsets or sunrise? gosh these are in EVERY meme thing 80: Can I drive? yup and I love to sing when I drive 81: Story behind my last kiss? I kissed me cat on the head 82: Earphones or headphones? earphones I guess 83: Have I ever had braces? gosh yes 84: Story behind one of my scars? my top surgery scar is where I got top surgery 85: Favourite genre of music? idk I love chiptune and r&b 86: Who is my hero? NISHINOYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HERO HERO 87: Favourite comic book character? I kinda hate comic books 88: What makes me really angry? when characters be mean to Mighty 89: Kindle or real book? I.D.C.

90: Favourite sporty activity? hiking 91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? you think there should be MORE rules?

92: What was my favourite subject at school? science 93: Siblings? got a little sister 94: What was the last thing I bought? dinner for me and my sister 95: How tall am I? 5′1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 96: Can I cook? NO.  I AM INEPT 97: Can I bake? have never tried 98: 3 things I love? I love my life I love my friends I love myself 99: 3 things I hate? idk cilantro, loud sounds, uh people who waste my time 100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? I don’t know what those are 101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? ugh 102: Where was I born? NOSEY 103: Sexual orientation? ACE✧ 104: Where do I currently live? ...........get away from me 105: Last person I texted? my cousin 106: Last time I cried? a few days ago I guess 107: Guilty pleasure? making fun of stuff I hate with my bro 108: Favourite Youtuber? I really like Diabetus from Retsuprae 109: A photo of myself. *lazy* 110: Do I like selfies? tons, people prolly hate it 111: Favourite game app? I guess snapchat doesn’t count but I don’t have any game apps 112: My relationship with my parents? blunt 113: Favourite accents? idk 114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? idk 115: Favourite number? FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 116: Can I juggle? pff, no 117: Am I religious? no 118: Do I like space? yeah~ 119: Do I like the deep ocean? it’s okay I guess 120: Am I much of a daredevil? I used to be 121: Am I allergic to anything? my skin’s kinda allergic to water? 122: Can I curl my tongue? yeah 123: Can I wiggle my ears? sometimes 124: Do I like clowns? gosh I DONT” CARE 125: The Beatles or Elvis? anyway 126: My current project? my Sonic fic 127: Am I a bad loser? I’m not competitive so 128: Do I admit when I wrong? yeah I try to be proactive 129: Forest or beach? FOREST 130: Favourite piece of advice? "If....for SOME reason, someone thinks you're lame, they're wrong.” 131: Am I a good liar? LOL NO 132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? BORING 133: Do I talk to myself? I sing to myself 134: Am I very social? LOL NO 135: Do I like gossip? no it’s usually stupid 136: Do I keep a journal/diary? no 137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? I don’t think so 138: Do I believe in second chances? lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll no 139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? I’d give it to whoever’s in charge or whatever 140: Do I believe people are capable of change? it’s rare 141: Have I ever been underweight? always 142: Am I ticklish? my gosh this question makes me wanna slap it 143: Have I ever been in a submarine? no 144: Have I ever been on a plane? way too many times 145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? this would never happen, no one could be as short and handsome as me 146: Have I ever been overweight? no 147: Do I have any piercings? no 148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? I don’t 149: Do I have any tattoos? no 150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? just keep trying to improve man 151: Do I believe in Karma? no 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? I wear reading/computer glasses 153: What was my first car? why would I remember that boring piece of information 154: Do I want children? no 155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? ME 156: My most embarrassing memory? idk sorry I’m too lazy to think 157: What makes me nostalgic? Sonic 158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? yes it was horrible 159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? those aren’t what I value 160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? gray? 161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? no 162: What do I hate most about myself? how I can’t hear or talk very well 163: What do I love most about myself? how I’m ace and loving and optimistic 164: Do I like adventure? yeah!

165: Do I believe in fate? my GOSH.  NO 166: Favourite animal? you........... already asked this......... 167: Have I ever been on radio? no 168: Have I ever been on TV? yeah 169: How old am I? 29! 170: One of my favourite quotes? idk does it look like I can be bothered to do that right now 171: Do I hold grudges? yes 172: Do I trust easily? LOL 173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? yup 174: Best gift I’ve ever received? reciprocation 175: Do I dream? y-yeah? 176: Have I ever had a night terror? I’m not really sure what that is 177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? sometimes, once I had a dream that I flew up into the clouds, they were pink, and on the other side collected on top of a cloud was a big wide, crystal clear lake 178: An experience that has made me stronger? honestly just all the younger people in my life and seeing how I can help 179: If I were immortal, what would I do? not die 180: Do I like shopping? it’s fun if you’re with someone 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? get a particular person killed 182: What does “family” mean to me? friends who love 183: What is my spirit animal? shut up 184: How do I want to be remembered? idk....... I hope people tell me what they think of me while I’m still alive 185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? identifying rocks 186: What is my greatest failure? trying to become an art teacher I guess lol 187: What is my greatest achievement? me~ 188: Love or money? would you stop 189: Love or career? anyway 190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? idk........ that’s too big a question 191: What makes me the happiest? me 192: What is “home” to me? *shrug* 193: What motivates me? ME 194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? this is really dramatic 195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? no. 196: A movie that scared me as a child? Jurassic Park when the t-rex had the kids pinned under the car 197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? onions?  I have no idea 198: Zombies or vampires? I hate both 199: Live in the city or suburbs? IDK 200: Dragons or wizards? I hate stuff like this 201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? gosh when I was a kid I’d always have this nightmare that was mostly a smell...... and a weird feeling/pain... my gosh 202: How do I define love? it’s wonderful and kind 203: Do I judge a book by its cover? idek if you’re talking literally or figuratively either way BORING 204: Have I ever had my heart broken? yeah 205: Do I like my handwriting? yup 206: Sweet or savoury? savory 207: Worst job I’ve had? the one I had before we got a new CEO where basically I did everyone’s jobs 208: Do I collect anything? not really 209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? underwear I guess 210: What is on my bucket list? fjdksl 211: How do I handle anger? I leave til I’ve calmed down 212: Was I named after anyone? no 213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? not that much 214: What TV character am I most like? idk 215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I can burp very loud and long on command 216: Favourite fictional character? MIGHTY THE ARMADILLO

[theninjasanctuary]

Another year in review.

This will be long and poorly organized, because I have mixed feelings about this one. It was really harsh in some respects, then again I found the resilience to cope, and some things went well.

I’ll start with what stands out the most to me: haven’t done the numbers (will see once I get my income tax data), but I believe this is probably my worst year, income-wise, in at least a decade. I had 1/4 of a day job for 8 months, then no job for 1,5 months (but couldn’t sign up for unemployment benefits because I was teaching), then got 1/2 of a day job for the remaining 2,5 months, which now earns me just slightly above minimum wage. Also lost a long-term, boring, but relatively ok-paying side gig at the start of the year. So I took on as many side jobs as I could, which was gratifying in some ways (opportunities were easy to find, the feedback was good, etc.), but they also have mostly frustrated me with how little and how late they pay (teaching in particular). Got one small grant in October, which really helped me out, otherwise I’d definitely be finishing the year in debt. I am still finishing pretty broke with no savings, but at least I’m being owed several hundreds of € for completed work. And I’ve been able to pay not just the bills but somehow afford a fair amount of my wants and needs as well (no-frills but decent skincare, some travel, some wardrobe updating, a great new phone), which is definitely better than I feared, so I’m not exactly unhappy with this outcome. However, I must not lose sight of this not being enough. I want to be able to afford the most basic adult things like furniture and driving lessons, and currently I can’t. Many plans fell through this year, not least another grant application that was supposed to get me a decently paying, full-time job for 5 years. I can just about exist on this income level, but just about existing is fucked and unacceptable at my age. So I must locate some way of increasing my income considerably, and soon.     

On the work front, there’s a number of unmet goals, primarily pieces of writing I need to finish. However, my self-esteem has tentatively recovered, in part due to the relative ease of freelancing, and the fact that I seem to be doing ok at the new job so far. I can’t think of any particular highlights, but it seems nothing went majorly wrong for once (except for that grant application getting rejected, but that wasn’t on me personally). Not feeling quite so low about my ability and skillset any more must be counted as a big plus. I also met my goal of writing a) more, and b) at least partly for pleasure, and it felt as good as I expected, and the money I made from it helped too, even if it wasn’t much. And I think all of the presentations and public speaking I did went well this year, too.  

Health-wise, things could certainly have been better. The random, life-first proper UTI in April was surely the lowest point. I’ve been vigilant as hell since then, eating probiotics daily, and am slowly growing less paranoid about getting another. Still, looking over my entries, I’ve spent big chunks of the rest of the year being stressed and complaining about either sleep problems, bizarre heart problems, fever, etc. Did have a full endocrinology checkup and dosage adjustment in the summer, so thyroid issues have been in check since then. Had a thorough heart checkup in September and October which found nothing of concern, thankfully. Minor injuries (ankle and wrist sprains, etc.) showed up from nowhere, but healed fine. The 2 consecutive viral colds in December have been annoying and frankly unnecessary, but it’s not as if I could have prevented them. Also, there are a couple of more check-ups I’ve been needing to book, but have kept postponing, so that’s not good either.

Relationships: doing fine in my modest and introverted way, as usual. The extreme heatwave in the summer and then being overwhelmed with work in the autumn were detrimental to socializing, but otherwise things have been pretty good. Grateful to have the friends I’ve got and the time I got to spend with them. Not to jinx it, people at the new office seem ok too.

What I’m happy about: I made time to read and to watch anime. For most of the year, I got a decent amount of exercise, taking breaks when I was ill or when the temperatures posed an actual health risk. No drastic weight changes, am about the same as last year. Despite budget constraints, I think I looked pretty good for the most part, so there’s that (already made a separate post about my skincare highlights of the year). I’m glad I undertook the effort to get my ear piercings to collaborate again, haven’t had any issues with them since. Looking back at what I wrote at the end of last year, I did not get haircuts as often as I’d have liked, for money reasons, and when I did treat myself, the result was actually a slight letdown. Must try again towards this spring.

I also did not spend all that much time outdoors as I would have liked, I guess, for various reasons (including the hottest summer of my life kind of overwhelming me, as faint as that memory seems now), but there were some quality highlights. This too is something I need to try improving next year.

I did see some new domestic sights, while international travel was brief and limited to places I’d been before - Helsinki, Brussels, Paris, London, but hey, I’m glad I got to go anywhere at all, given how broke I was, and I had a lovely time every time. Only one of these was a work trip, and it was with the boyf and a couple of friends, staying at a very nice hotel I wasn’t paying for, so nothing to complain about even there. 

Glad I managed a necessary tech upgrade. I retired my Fairphone 1 at the end of this year, after almost 5 years. Switching to a new phone went surprisingly smoothly, and it is nice to be able to have some confidence about battery mileage. I haven’t changed my usage habits by much yet though. I keep turning data off and the entire phone off for the night unless I need to set an alarm. I rarely take pictures even though the camera is so, so much better. I still look distorted and weird as fuck in selfies compared to the mirror. And I’m still using the same handful of apps, really... too busy to think about options, if anything, I should tone things down even further. Muting not just only dozens of keywords, but almost everyone I followed on Twitter back in June was a great decision. I did it because the constant influx of extremely distressing news I could do absolutely nothing about was clearly doing me harm at that point. I’ve unmuted exactly 1 person since then, and looking at the list, with most of them, idek why I ever bothered tbh.

A clear upside, compared to the year before: no funerals.

What I should do differently in the new year:

Should not prioritize work over sleep. Just because I can work through the night, doesn’t mean anyone will be thanking me for it, and it’s summarily not good for me. I don’t really know how to handle deadlines in a different way though.

I should try going sugar-free again, because this latest cold has ruined my appetite anyway, and sweet stuff, which I’ve eaten in moderation for most of the year (still much less than I used to), is mostly just disappointing. It would be good to lose a few k before summer at the latest. I don’t need a wardrobe overhaul, I just need to look better in what I’ve already got.

I might also try giving up red meat, not that I consume a lot of it in the first place. I don’t enjoy it that much anyway, and it’s bad for the environment. I think I could easily go from “sometimes” to only “when I can’t be bothered explaining my dietary choices to my mother”.

I should buy less bread, because too much of it goes to waste. I like toast, but bloody hell, it would be more practical if I could buy like 4 slices at a time. Yeah, the uneaten stuff gets composted, but I still don’t like wasting food.

Should aim to keep up a good routine of AHA and BHA on my face and KP-prone parts (my arms looked much better this summer), and should locate a vit C product that is gentle, stable and free from awful texture issues (my current options are too harsh or have awful texture issues).

Should focus on putting effort into long-term goals and not get mired down in getting through mundane to-do-lists. Be ambitious. Aim big. Turn down offers I don’t like even if I could use the money.

Should aim to have more sex. This year has not been great. Too much work, too fucking hot to even consider it, health issues, etc., etc.

Should work on improving my stamina. Bike rides, maybe a little running. Definitely badminton.

Should also buy a new swimsuit and go to a spa sometimes.