#but i've outgrown it so i'm setting it on fire and putting it in the trash

[katrinafaire]

My 2¢ on "quitting" a story.

I think you should allow yourself that. Sometimes we outgrow a story, sometimes we realize that's not the story we want to tell, sometimes we're just bored. So drop it, if you really want.

BUT.

Don't get rid of it. Archive that notebook, put that Scriv on a USB / external hard drive, tuck that doc into a folder. Keep it.

Unless the reason you're quitting it is that it was harmful to someone (maybe you used to have harmful beliefs you've outgrown? growth is good, bigoted fiction is not; same for anything that was hurtful to you) then keep it. If its only crime is you're bored, or your skill set isn't high enough to write it (hooo, been there!), or you've lost motivation...

Set it aside. You're allowed to have new interests, though I will say that it's very easy to snowball from here into never sticking with a project, so KEEP IN MIND that that isn't what we're talking about. Huge difference between:

I will set this story aside because (it doesn't appeal to me, I'm not ready as a writer, I've outgrown it) AND

I want to write this story but I have lost motivation / gotten bored / need to put in some more perspiration to get to the inspiration

The first one is freeing you to leave it behind, but to learn from it. Take it at its value, keep it in case that passion returns. The second is that call out we all hate and all need: don't quit writing the story you want to tell, just because it's hard. Don't stop writing it because you have a ton of worldbuilding and research to do. Don't stop writing it because you're stuck -- stuck is a temporary issue, you'll find your way again.

Folks I've been trying to write Cure since 2019. It's 2024, I had a blazing fire of inspiration hit me in May, and I think even with a stretch of health issues I'll be done with the first draft before January.

It wasn't the right time, then. I set it aside. And there are a ton of other stories that I've abandoned; I still have their workshopping folders of lore and bits and pieces of story. I have no intention of writing them. I don't really care about them? It's reason enough.

The average writer has way more ideas than they're capable of writing out in full, literally. Not the time, not the energy. And that's okay! You're allowed to step back, even quit, the things you don't love anymore. Use that energy to fight for the pieces you've vowed to stick to.

TLDR: Quit the pieces you don't love. Use that energy to fight for the pieces with stories you really want to tell.

[maybebecomingms]

my sweet escape(s), delineated

August 18th, 2023

This is it, confidence is all I need This is how you're going to save me from myself From all that fails I see you & me & everything in between And I know I'm wrong but you long to Fuel the fire beneath these tired bones

I really, really hate that overtly religious songs from yesteryear have had such an impact on me and I can't stop listening to them.

Progress, I confess is way overdue I get caught up in the things that I've held onto

OK. STOP!

Anyway.

I used to belt this song out driving my 97 Cavalier after work as the summer sun was setting. Driving home to my cheap, tiny, whitewashed apartment on the edge of town. "What's with you always living on the fringes?" one of my friends asked once. He's got a point, even now.

You'd think it was a goddamn palace. I LOVED living there. That was such a sweet summer. I had gotten away from a shaky, unsupportive, unsafe situation and I was thriving on my own.

A couple years later, I cried tears of joy as I left the keys on the kitchen counter of that apartment and sang this song on the way to my new home the day after my wedding. I'd outgrown the whitewashed walls and pale blue floor tiles that kept coming unglued. A whole new life awaited me.

There's so many parallel feelings in the present day. I have once again abandoned a shaky, unsupportive, unsafe situation and struck out on my own. This time I drive to the edge of a different but nearby town, and the wood paneling and kitschy wallpaper of a 1970s mobile home. And it's only half the trailer! And I have to wash my dishes by hand and haul my laundry elsewhere.

And I don't even care! Because again I am thriving. I'm not getting drunk anymore, and I am eating better food, and I am doing yoga and cuddling with my cat and getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night.

Next year will hopefully be the next sweet escape. It will hopefully put an end to this every-other-weekend business, and I won't have to miss my person all week anymore. Moving 60 miles away feels like a big thing - bigger than anything I've done before. I have a lot of feelings about it.

But I still feel used and taken for granted around here sometimes, too, and it would be nice to leave that behind.

I'm stronger every step I take back to... RUN back to you A place of sweet escape I fell into

I legitimately hope it's the last time. I don't want to spend my life feeling like I continually need to escape situations that weren't what I had hoped for.

Whatever happens next, I know now that it's me. Not god. Not another person. Nobody can save me. Only I can do that.

And I have done that, over and over again. It would be nice to take a break for a minute.

Just to rest in knowing I have saved myself and it's the last time I'll need to.

[civilight-eterna]

tragically, i too am talking about arknights stickers!! it's sad because like you said i would've also paid premium for the ones i wanted-but just the ones i wanted. what are they expecting people to do if you wanted to pick something up for yourself and a friend that like same characters? just blow your entire convention budget gacha-ing for their stickers?

my last point of bitching is reserved for like. people that sell things in sets only. i feel less pressed about it if it's clearly designed to go together or to be used together, and if there's a sign that says it's sold as a set then i can save us all some time by not bothering. but i wanted to buy a really cute blue-palette washi tape and there was no signage indicating that it was only sold as a set with a really bright orange one (again i'm trying to not be super specific and single out artists here but. god.), so when i asked to buy it, i was told, 'oh, that one's only sold as part of a set with this one'. the aesthetics were not only color opposites, but aesthetic opposites. really hot on-fire themed tape vs. a muted black and cyan blue with water elements.

i ended up declining entirely just because i don't want to buy something i know that i won't use. space in my home and in my art supply kits is kind of at a premium and i've kind of outgrown the whole buying it just because thing/with the intention of regifting because it's honestly kind of wasteful and i value my friends' space and right to not just accumulate things either. a roll of washi tape goes a really long way and people typically pick things they like to use with their art/deco stuff. washi tape isn't really the best for just holding things together so i really had no way to justify it because it wouldn't have gotten used.

i also found it really wild that this also happened on the last day of the convention-and while i don't know everyone's individual situation, typically most artist alley folks want to leave with less product than they brought in, so the idea of losing sales and not even thinking about flexibility in that sense is kind of bizarre, especially with how many more tables are being accepted to artist alley in years past. shoppers have a lot more choices, so i'd think if you're tabling you'd want to kind of adapt to the possibility that restrictions on how you sell things and make your money should be really well thought out.

i say this as someone who starts con every year at artist alley and prioritizes them before even touching the exhibition hall. i've read posts from tablers about how it's been harder to break even because there's that many more tables and people spread their budget between more and more places, and i have nothing but empathy for that. if you're busting your ass making it as an artist then i'm especially pissed on your behalf when sakura con didn't even announce or put signage for the second floor of artist alley until the second day of con. i think that's frankly unforgivable when you consider travel expenses, tabling fees, and the way they charge $80 per day and per device for wifi-which is how most places process their payments, with card readers that need it! i did hear from a downstairs artist alley artist how i guess because of no signage or announcements on that first day that they got free wifi downstairs for their trouble, but that's the absolute minimum they were owed imo.

this has devolved into a general sakura con 2024 salt post but i think it's worth saying because if any of the artists had trouble breaking even and they were using selling practices that maybe were too restrictive, i think it's worth putting it out there for next time.

chat, should i post my controversial artist alley opinions about sakura con this year

[n3verending16]

you were good to me - Oikawa Tooru x Reader

So, this is my first ever fanfic! Aah! Writing this was 100% a daunting experience for me, but I largely enjoyed writing it (posting it tho? *rapidly spams space button to align lyrics with the middle* *posts* *formatting is completely off and i have to do it all over again* *screams*). If you have any constructive criticism/ formatting tips, please comment it or send me a message ʕ ���́؈•̀ ₎

Not requested, but certainly inspired by all the other oikawa x reader writer-chans out there (and a good friend of mine, yejin if you're reading this ily smkamsjskamssjk)!

caitlin and cindy ily too uwu

Based off "you were good to me"

All credits belong to their rightful owners

………………………………………………………………………………………

Lying, isn't better than silence

"I don't love you anymore."

Oikawa Tooru could feel the bitter aftertaste of his own words to you that night.

Floating, but I feel like I'm dying

One year later, and he still couldn't break off the chains that anchored him down every time he jumped for the ball in a match. He couldn't fly like he used to, the guilt in his gut pressing him down every time he looked towards the stands and you weren't there, cheering for him as you usually did. It was his choice, his fault. And he regretted it, although he wished he didn't.

Still, no matter where I go

At the end of every road

You had always been there for him before, whenever he felt he wasn't good enough. The gentle caress of your fingers through his hair and your soft eyes peering into his own chocolate irises had helped him get over the loss of the match and focus on getting even better than he was. On particularly harsh days, you sang him to sleep, the dulcet tones and lull of your voice relaxing him as he passed into a gentle slumber.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You had always been understanding of him whenever he ended his practice sessions late. You never asked for his time, knowing his passion for volleyball burned brighter than anything you'd ever seen before, and you wanted to support him. You hugged and congratulated him with a smile on your face when he won, and you comforted him when he lost, but most importantly, you were always there in his life. A constant he could trust, someone he could rely on, someone he could love. He'd been thankful for it. And yet, when he saw the successful application to the Argentinian Volleyball Team, he was hit with the truth. Oikawa was moving to a country on the other side of the world, and things would've gotten so much harder for the both of you. You deserved someone that was so much more than him, someone who would hold you at night, someone who could go on real dates with you, someone who could, and would, put their own time away for you. As much as it hurt him, he knew for your own good, he had to let you go. So he did it the way he hoped would hurt you the least.

I know it's easier to run

After everything I've done

Cut it off. Keep your emotions away from this. This is what's best for them.

"I'm moving to Argentina, and I think it's time I tell you something..."

"I don't love you anymore. We should end things."

You were good to me

Yeah, you were good to me

He still hears your quiet sobs that night sometimes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Leaving, isn't better than trying

You'd spent that night lying on the couch, crying to yourself over your boyfriend who'd just walked out on you. What had you done wrong? Were you still not good enough for him? As soon as you had began to stop, reduced to sniffles, images of his silhouetted back as he walked out the front door and the cold glint in his brown eyes as he said the words that broke your heart flashed through your mind made you start bawling all over again. Had everything that had happened between the two of you been a lie? Had your presence in his life not mattered to him as much as his presence in yours?

Growing, but I'm just growing tired

You would've liked to say you were a different person than you had been one year ago. You would've liked to be spiteful and show Oikawa Tooru, international volleyball star, that you had outgrown being lovesick and was now independent and successful, with people who truly loved you. You would've liked to tell yourself that you were so, so much better off without him. But that was a lie, and you were not one to lie to yourself.

Now I'm worried for my soul

And I'm still scared of growing old

You had, honestly, tried to get over him though. You'd made yourself pass out from drunkenness only to wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and the incident more ingrained into your head. You'd busied yourself with cooking, gaming and knitting, and when that hadn't worked, considered a one-night stand from an overly amiable guy you'd just met at the corner café, after deciding against it when one of the girls standing in front of the window outside sent you two a deathly stare. You'd stacked all of his belongings and tried to burn them, until you realised your shaky hands couldn't start the lighter properly.

Even if you had forgotten him for a while, a dull, grey, reprieve from the emotions in your head, it wouldn't have been for long; the memories were everywhere. There was the book he'd accidentally spilt his bubble tea in when you snuck up behind him. There was the somewhat-lopsided drawer, a result of when it got stuck and he'd tried to force it in anyway, ending up in the sides breaking. There was the red christmas mug you'd gotten for him; only to realise he'd given you the exact same one, but green. The small bin in your room was full of milk bread wrappers. Even the study desk in the corner reminded you of days where he would try to draw something cute for you- you'd laughed and told him he had all the time in the world to improve.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

That had clearly been a lie. And yet, you couldn't bring yourself to believe the words he'd said to you before he left a year ago were the truth. You had been sure that your relationship was pure, built from the ground on trust and a mutual understanding of each other- you'd respect his love for volleyball, he'd respect your desire to work harder in your career. Sure, he didn't sound like he was lying, but he was THE Oikawa Tooru- a man who held his confident and flippant façade up to the spotlights, letting the light shine on him however he pleased. You needed to know the truth, and like a burning question at the back of your mind, it never disappeared- before you contacted Iwaizumi Hajime, his best friend and your former close classmate, who told you "It was about time you knew the truth". You were glad to have heard those words.

After having a long conversation with Haji (most of it was you cussing), you wanted to hug Oikawa and punch him at the same time.

One decision led to another and the next day, you were standing on an airplane one year after the breakup with a plane ticket clutched in your hands, and a ticket to the Argentina vs Spain match folded up neatly in your purse.

"Try to let him off easy, yeah? He hasn't been at his best ever since he left you. I think he still regrets it."

………………………………………………………………………………………

And I'm so used to letting go

But I don't wanna be alone

There's noise in the stadium, filled with the audience's cheers and camera shutters going off, but drowned out by the silence in his own head. Oikawa lines the ball up to serve, watching the other team, analysing their positions. "Where should I hit?" he thinks to himself. This is his chance to take another set against Spain. If he misses this one, they will have lost the match 3-1, and it would've been his fault. He can't let that happen. The whistle blows, the ball goes up, and he's doing his jump-serve again, feeling the chains around his feet ready to snap taut like always.

But then amidst the bright lights, among the screaming crowd, he sees a flash of white and teal. Time seems to stop, and he floats in the air.

Was't that his Aoba Johsai volleyball jacket from high school? The one that he'd left behind at your house?

At first, he dismissed it quickly, thinking it was another die-hard fangirl who had one made or maybe even someone from his old team, because no way in hell could you be here right now watching him play when he'd walked out of your life and caused you so much pain and heartbreak one year ago. But then he saw the black purse, with a delicate pink floral pattern and gold highlights. The one he'd gotten for you on your birthday. He meets your wide eyes, your name is on his lips as he stares at your form.

But time moves again. And he grunts as his palm makes contact with the ball, making it fly into the corner and the other team turns and gapes at where surely there was a dent in the ground from the impact. They'd taken back a set, the score was 2-2. His team cheers wildly around him. The commentators rapidly fire off about the service ace- something he hadn't been able to do for a long time.

He's still staring at you in mid-air, but then he falls, meets the ground, his legs give out from under him and everything blurs.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

You stare, lips parted as he collapses, slightly rising from your seat from worry. Had his knee gotten any better from before? Would he still be okay? Surely everything he'd worked for couldn't just end from a fall... but you realised if it did, it would've been your fault. You were, after all, the one who distracted him. Something punches you in the gut as you watch him get up, and he looks at you, the expression on his face one of pure shock and something you can't quite decipher. He keeps his eyes on yours as they shrug on his national sports jacket and carry him off, and you stare into his milky chocolate irises until the doors close behind him. Then you're pushing yourself through the crowd of seated anxious girls to find him again.

God only knows where our fears go

Hearts I've broke, now my tears flow

Oikawa finds himself in the hallway staring at the azure blue sky outside the window as a flock of birds soars past. The medics fuss over him, lifting his mildly sore leg and checking it once, twice, and he absentmindedly nods at their questions. There's a commotion at the door at the end of the hallway and he hears your muffled, strained voice. "No, please! I need to see him... you don't understand..." Eyes widening, he lifts himself up and hobbles over to the door at the end of the hallway, ignoring the protests of the baffled medics and guards. He puts his hand on the handle of the door and pushes, finding you arguing with a guard on the other side of the door. He hears his name from you, your voice giving him comfort. He smiles, albeit a broken one but still, a genuine smile, before he falls, his knee giving out again.

But this time, you're there to catch him.

You'll see that I'm sorry

Cause you were good to me

You were good to me

You hold Tooru as he sobs onto your shoulder. His tears cascade down his face as he clings to you, and he knows he doesn't deserve this, doesn't deserve you. Why had you tried to find him, after he broke your heart a year ago? You realise you're crying too when your vision blurs and all you can sense is the warmth from his skin on yours, his smell filtering the air around you. You take a deep breath in, honey vanilla with slight mint curling into your nose. People awkwardly stand by as they watch the reunion, mindful of the emotions and rawness in the air but also aware of the need to relieve pressure from his leg a bit. Eventually, someone bites the bullet and Oikawa sits down against the wall with you on his right. "You came here from Japan." Tooru hoarsely whispers. "Why?"

Before you could answer, the door opens and his teammate pops his head in, taking note of the people standing uncomfortably around.

"Hey Tooru, are you gonna be able to play?" he speaks in Spanish. He takes sight of you, a girl he's seen somewhere before, sitting next to his friend, and pauses.

"Wait, isn't that the girl on your wallpaper? I thought you said- never mind." He carefully speaks in broken English.

"Anyways, coach says if you're still fine we can send you in." You blink as Tooru puts his arm around you, a pout evident on his face. "I'm pretty sure I'll be able to play (the medic nods along in agreement), just give me a few moments." he answers. His teammate hesitates, nods, and closes the door. Tooru turns his head and rests his head on your shoulder, his fluffy brown hair tickling your neck. You nearly want to cry at what his teammate just told said. "Oh, Tooru..."

"You still haven't answered the question," he tells you. "Iwa-chan must've told you that I left because you deserved more than someone who couldn't be here for you. I don't deserve you, y/n-chan. You deserve to be happy, and... I'm not the one." He tucks away your air behind your ear. "But now that you're here, I can't help but want to be selfish. I want us to be together. I still want you."

You can't help laughing quietly at him, the little pout forming on his face again. "Oh Tooru... you wanted me to be happy. And you thought leaving me so brashly would achieve that? You forgot one very, very important thing." You lean into his shoulder, and play with his calloused fingers.

And now I'm closing every door

Cause I'm sick of wanting more

"If I'm ever to be truly happy..." You tell him, shifting yourself so you're cupping his soft cheeks and looking into his chocolate eyes. "Then you are, absolutely, essential in my life." His heart leaps, soaring at your words. After all that time, you still...

You tut at the dreamlike, adorable expression on his face. "C'mon, Tooru. Don't cry on me now. You've still got a match to win, don't you?" He breaks himself out of his reverie as you lightly pinch his cheeks, and grins ear to ear as you begin to move back to the stands. "Wait, wait." He shrugs his volleyball jacket off his shoulders and hands it to you. "Wear this over that, I want everyone to know you're still mine." You rolls your eyes at his childish request, "Your fangirls are going to kill me, I swear," but comply nevertheless. He's still smiling as he watches his oversized jacket swish around at your mid-thigh as you walk towards the doors. Anything else could come after the match, but for now, this was good enough for him.

You were good to me

You were good to me, yeah

For the rest of that match, for the first time, Oikawa Tooru flies. They do eventually win, 3-2. He's never felt more ecstatic as he pulls you in happily, kissing all over your face and handing you his Most Valuable Player award as you giggle from his childlike antics. The reporters rapidly take note of everything and theres a collective groan from the gaggle of fangirls somewhere, but it's you and him both in your own little world.

Swear I'm different than before

I won't hurt you anymore

Life goes on. You fly back to Japan, with a promise that he would never shut you out again. Sure, you would've preferred it if he was next to you, but you called and messaged each other so frequently that you found you had little to worry about. In rare spaces of time, he flew back to Japan to meet family and friends before spoiling you on dates, decorating your house ("Hey, we need to retake this photo! I'm even better looking now!") or cuddling on the couch together. Every relationship had its downsides, and long-distance relationships were even more a pain, but you were more than ready to take the troubles on if it meant you could still see his smiling face through the messenger call at 1am in the morning.

And you knew this time, he wouldn't stop you from trying.

Cause you were good to me

[etlunainmorte]

🏝 I See My Future Before Me 🏝

***

"Ahem!" Patty cleared her throat, making the two of you look at her. "Get a room, whatever?"

V chuckled as he let you go for a while. With a sheepish smile, he, then helped you sit and wrapped his arms around you once more. He was really glad with how things turned out. He couldn't explain it, himself, but, who cares about it now?! What's important was that -

All of a sudden, you heard some strange noises just outside the door.

V let you go and nodded at Patty as he stood up, his eyes darting cautiously on the door. He slowly walked towards it, grabbed the brass door knob, and flung open the door - !

"WHAT THE F - ?!"

You heard a voice as V drew back, wide - eyed, from the door.

And lo and behold, Nico, and a strange - looking boy with sharp features came scrambling on the floor at the poet's feet!

"Who are you, people?!" Patty demanded, unable to believe that some strangers managed to infiltrate the villa, yet again. Well, V was one thing but, these people?

"I can explain,... everything!" Nico retorted as she stood up, rubbing her hip. "Oh, and I was definitely not listening,..." She, then, looked at the mystery boy, who was still on the floor, and practically smacked him on the head with much force. "Hey! About time you get up!"

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!" The boy screamed as he scrambled to his feet and hid behind V, completely frightened of the crazy Artisan. "I can't believe this woman, V! She dragged me and the housecat out of the house all of a sudden! She even blackmailed that pimple kid Nero and the others to come with her here!"

"Nero,... and the others?" The poet asked, and even before he, or the strange boy, could say or do anything else, all of you heard an impatient tapping on the glass door. All of you turned and saw none other than Nero, himself, wearing nothing but his navy - blue swimming trunks. He was carrying a surf board, and gesturing something really weird at you. Other than that, he looked really annoyed, or pissed, that you almost felt relieved that you couldn't hear him or understand what he's saying through that thick glass door.

"Where is the bathroom here, anyway? This place is humongous!" You heard a distinct and familiar voice from the doorway, and, surely enough, when you turned back, you saw the Legendary Devil Hunter wandering about the hallway like he was lost. And what's more, he was carrying a huge hiking bag on his back and at least two bulky luggage on each hand, like he was going on a vacation or something.

"DANTE?!" Patty practically screamed at the top of her lungs as she angrily strode towards him. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE AFTER GHOSTING ON ME FOR THREE MONTHS?! I INVITED YOU FOR MY BIRTHDAY PARTY BUT, YOU DIDN'T COME! AND NOW, YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO SHOW UP HERE?! WHAT THE HELL, DANTE?!"

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Wait a second here, señorita!" Dante drew back in terror upon witnessing the girl's pure and utter rage. "I can explain! A lot of things happened, and - "

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK UNTIL I SAY SO! AARRGGHH!"

You were trying to suppress your laughter at Patty's outrage ( no one could blame her, after all, he did ditch her on her birthday party ) when something suddenly threw itself at you and hugged you tightly. You looked down and to your surprise, you saw a pale, little girl with long, black hair that seemed sentient. She was even giving you a weird look with her pair of huge, red eyes, like a lost child who just found her mother.

"Oh, ah,... hello!" You awkwardly greeted but, she didn't say anything. She just went on staring at you with those huge eyes of hers, and that weird, and yet funny, expression that made her look like she has committed some kind of unspeakable crime.

You looked up at V and noticed his features clearly contorting with stress due to the sudden visitors around him. And who could blame him? You totally had no idea how much he wanted to be by your side. He wanted to be alone with you for a change! And if he's being honest with himself, he wanted to do more than just talk with you!

But, now, it seemed that his plans, and his patience, were really getting pushed to their utmost limit,...

You gulped nervously as you saw the poet knitting his eyebrows in suppressed anger, bowing down low and reaching for his nose bridge to pinch it.

***

♡♡♡

***

" ... it was like I was dreaming. Like, I was drowning, and suddenly, someone took my hand and pulled me out of the water!"

" ... uhu,..."

"And when I was back on the surface, I heard his voice. He said, my love."

" ... yeah, and,... ?"

"You see, I thought Dracula was playing on the background, so I answered, and my life, always! And when I opened my eyes, I saw him! And he's looking down at me!"

" ... okay."

"And when we kissed and embraced, I felt this kind of energy surging throughout my body! It's like,... AARRGGHH! It's really hard to explain! Like, I was this,... are you even listening to me?!"

"GOD, SWEET PEA! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYIN' TO COOK THIS THING?!" Griffon howled as he pointed at the raw chicken on the grill before him. "I'VE BEEN STARIN' AT THIS CHICKEN FOR THIRTY FUCKIN' MINUTES, AND NOTHIN'S HAPPENIN', AT ALL!"

"Stupid!" Nico, who was already wearing a yellow two - piece bikini, mocked as she placed her hands on her hips. "Ye're supposed to set the charcoal on fire! And fan the flames! God!"

And with a shrug of her shoulders and a shake of her head, the Artisan walked away from them and joined the others for a game of beach volleyball.

You stared at the familiar, whose bald head began sweating hard, if it's even possible.

"Err, is that right? Y - ya set the charcoal on fire?" He stuttered as he stared at the weird cooking device.

"Well, yeah." You answered as the side of your lips went up in a visible smirk. "You know, you might be bipedal right now, but - "

"DON'T ya dare say I'm still a fuckin' BIRD BRAIN!" The familiar yelled at your face as he accidentally burned and almost reduced the raw chicken to ashes with the power of electricity that came out of his fingers. Startled and shocked upon realizing and seeing what he's done to the whole crew's lunch, he quickly took the grill grates, threw the burnt chicken, and buried it beneath the sand underneath his feet. He slowly and nervously looked at you with huge eyes and raised eyebrows. Then, he gulped. "Umm,... you didn't see anythin', 'kay?"

You covered your mouth to suppress the laughter.

Ever since waking up in V's arms three days ago, you've been thrown to such unexpected experiences that you honestly never imagined yourself being a part of. For one, you were so surprised upon seeing Griffon's new and cleansed form ( according to him ) after his supposed demise at Shadow's hands. You even had to admit to yourself that you're still having a hard time adjusting to him looking as normal as any human can be. You also found out that, during those three days of adjustment, his wings occasionally sprout from his back from time to time, and his striking golden eyes looked clearly sharper than ever before when he was still a demonic bird, not to mention those pointed ears that caught your attention the moment he finally re - introduced himself to you. But, what caught your attention the most was the fact that you were, somehow, no longer contracted to him in any way, shape, or form. It must be because you no longer hold the authority to command the Sisters of Fate, thus, making you a simple and ordinary human being without the power to command a demonic familiar.

You could say the same thing for Shadow. Well, who could blame you, anyway? Not now when she looked like someone's adorable little sister. That very obvious fact aside, those familiar streaks of red light still manifested on her skin when she's startled. That long, dark hair of hers took on a life of its own when someone angered her. She even hissed at anyone who made the huge mistake of taking away her toys ( the Elmo plushie in particular ). Other than that, she still hasn't outgrown her habit of purring and rubbing against you occasionally. You found this very endearing, actually, despite the fact that this female familiar gave you a lot of problems three months ago. She was, in fact, very guilty and apologetic and sweet that you forgave her quite easily. Well, she did nothing wrong in the first place. She only did those horrible things because she was only commanded to do so. She has nothing to apologize for in the first place. And now, Shadow refused to leave your side, she even has this habit of climbing on the bed with you in the middle of the night for some snuggles.

Those two familiars aside, you were very surprised upon hearing the good news from Nero, himself. Who would've guessed that he and his lady love, Kyrie, were eagerly awaiting their own bundle of joy? Nico was the same as ever. If anything, she bullied Griffon even more now that the familiar has turned into a human. She dotes on Shadow a lot, she even provided the familiar a closet - full of clothes for her to wear. She was also spoiling her rotten with treats. And Dante? Seriously, the poor guy, you decided, was a real masochist, letting himself be completely bossed around by both Lady and Trish, who made him carry their things around the beach. You were not sure whether this was the result of him being deeply indebted to these two ladies but, the sight of him going after them like a scruffy - looking butler in red leather really put a smile on your face.

All of these changes and familiar faces you embraced so well. However, there was one particular face that changed a lot within those three months of your absence.

Jet black hair now as white as snow, dark, swirling demonic contract tattoos now barely visible on pale skin, and soft, emerald eyes gentler than ever before, you never expected V to look so,... changed,... after those past three months that you didn't see him. It was like,... he went through a lot, suffering, trials, growth,...

But, whatever happened to him during those days, it surely changed him a lot as a person. He has,... somehow become even more thoughtful, and careful,... he has become even more caring and protective towards you if that's even possible. The way he moved changed a lot, as well. Before, nothing could make him move even a single finger unless he has deduced it was safe to do so. Now, he seemed more,... careless,... towards you and only you. Open, even. Like, he was totally letting his guard down for you to let you in on his thoughts, and his heart.

And not only that. He seemed,... closer,... towards you. Like, not even a few feet away. He was really close. You sit, he will sit. You stand, he will stand. You walk, he will most definitely walk, too. There were even times when you accidentally bumped into him when you turned too quickly. When you wake up in the morning, you would find yourself completely surprised to see not only Shadow sleeping next to you but, the poet, as well. Heck, you even have a hard time shooing the guy off whenever you need to go to the bathroom! He always seemed to follow you wherever you go. And him being so attached to you like that? Of course, you honestly felt both shy, confused, and really bashful at the same time!

And that,... was only two days ago.

Because now, V seemed,... different. Well, not the scary or the off type of different, no. It seemed like there was a sense of,... urgency,... with the way he moved. The way he looked at you, the way he reached for your hand, the way he touched you, the way he whispered to your ear, not to mention that spine - tingling effect his low and deep voice has on you,...

You knew he was up to something! You knew,... you felt it. And honestly? You felt a mixture of both fright and excitement with the way he's acting towards you lately. You were fully aware of where you stand with regards to things such as intimacy in a relationship. And you being, well,... you? You couldn't help but be both scared and giddy. A lot of things were going through your mind: how would it feel like? Would it hurt? Would there be a lot of blood, like what they said? Would you get sick the next day? But most important of all, would he really be gentle towards you?

These thoughts were still on your mind when you walked out of the villa to join the others on the beach, and when he saw you, he almost immediately dropped whatever he's doing to rush over to your side, only to be stopped by both Dante and Nero.

"Hey, man, we need another one for the team." Dante told him, grabbing the poor poet by the shoulder.

"Come on, V. They're gonna destroy us!" Nero pleaded as he pointed at the three women, Nico, Lady, and Trish, all in their swim suits, waiting for the men to join them for another round of beach volleyball.

You smiled and nodded at V, who glanced helplessly at you as the men dragged him. You were about to watch the spectacle when someone tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around and noticed it was Patty, together with Kyrie, who chose to stay out of the beach due to her delicate state. And both women were smiling mischievously at you.

V and the others were still playing ( albeit it with much difficulty on the poet's part ) a few moments later when you, Patty, and Kyrie came out of the house. And when V saw you, he -

"V, WATCH OUT!" The warning from Nero and Dante came too late as the ball that was hit by Lady came speeding towards him and hit him in the face.

"Youch! That must really hurt!" Griffon, who was still roasting another batch of almost burnt chicken for lunch, flinched as he watched you run towards V, now with a bleeding nose.

Everything went peaceful for a while after that: Shadow, who was really not fond of swimming or getting wet entirely, minding her own business as she built her own sand castle, Kyrie and Nero playing with the orphans on the shore, Nico appraising Griffon's grilled chicken with a keen eye, Griffon hiding several burnt chicken on the sand beneath his feet with a nervous smile, Trish, Lady, and now Patty, bullying Dante to buy ice cream for them,...

... and you taking care of V as you two sat on a towel he borrowed from Patty a while ago.

"You should have been more careful." You told him as you gently wiped the blood off his face.

"I'm fine." He answered quietly as he let himself be pampered by you. "Don't think too much about it."

"Are you sure nothing's broken?"

"I' am perfectly sure."

V glanced at you with such gentle and thoughtful eyes.

For three days since being back together again, V has tried multiple ways of getting close to you, with each attempt ending in miserable failure due to the interference of the people around him. And it has led to him feeling both annoyed and frustrated. While you were absolutely correct that he, indeed, wanted to be intimate with you, he also had another, more vital, reason behind his actions for the last few days. He has found out the reason you were brought back ( or, one might even argue that you really didn't die back then ), and that was partly due to you finally accepting that you need him, and mostly because V practically, and unknowingly, shared his energy, or life force, with you. He couldn't really explain how this happened ( or maybe Cassandra or Andromeda knew, he just didn't bother to ask any of them ), but when he touched, embraced, and kissed you ( albeit briefly due to those interfering people ), he knew that some form of power left his body, surging through every fiber, every nerve, and every vein in his body, and made its way towards you, giving you strength, health, vitality,...

... giving you life.

He was fully aware of what he has done to you in the past - of robbing you of your only life source - that has led to him regaining what he almost lost - life. And him giving back to you that power of life and vitality in some other form or way by being as close to you as he can,...

... it was the ultimate equivalent exchange.

He wanted to share every last bit, every last drop, and every last ounce of this unknown and unexplored power with you by being close, by always being there for you, and by always being with you in every sense of the word.

And he's more than willing to do this for the rest of his life.

And now, as his gaze landed once more on the scars on your stomach and on your thighs, he couldn't help but feel guilty and hurt all over again. You noticed how this made him uneasy and immediately zipped the pink hoodie ( that was given to you by Sister Christina for your birthday ) close so that he would not be able to see the scars, even by accident.

"Patty and Kyrie thought I would look, ah, you know, hot, by wearing this two - piece bikini they lent me but," You lamely made an excuse as you laughed nervously, hoping to get the poet's attention away from your ugly scars. " ... I look dreadful in it, after all. I mean! My feet aren't the only things that are ugly in me. Now, I look like an overused pin cushion, or some - "

"Don't!" V cut you off as both of his hands flew to your face to gently cup your cheeks. And right then and there, he immediately felt that same power leaving his fingers and making its way towards your skin, giving you a noticeable glow that made his heart do multiple flips. "Say such things, my love. You are beautiful, and perfect."

You smiled nervously as you felt your skin getting warmer and warmer by the second under his loving gaze. It really did feel both scary and exciting being with him in this kind of situation.

And then, you felt it: your breathing getting heavier and heavier with his caress, your heartbeat frantically rising with the way he looked at you, and your thighs instinctively rubbing against each other as you felt the warmth of his skin.

For a few seconds, you remained like this, looking into each other's eyes as if nothing else in the world mattered. And when his face inched closer to yours, feeling his hot breath fan your already radiant and sensitive skin, you -

"Hey, want some?"

You were sure you heard V let out a curse in utter frustration as he slowly looked at Dante, who was offering the two of you some strawberry - flavored popsicles. Your eyes widened in fear as you noticed the poet clearly giving Dante a glare that sent shivers down your spine.

"Oh! Thanks, Dante, but - " you stuttered as you tried to break through the tense atmosphere but, you were interrupted as Patty, who seemingly appeared out of nowhere, practically jumped at the tall Devil Hunter, hugging him from behind and startling him, effectively breaking the already heavy situation between the two men.

"Dante!" Patty literally screamed at him, looking very excited.

"Damn, woman!" Dante turned, still unable to believe that the once little girl, who used to pester him only a few years ago, has now fully grown into a very matured and attractive lady. "What is it now? I have bought you your ice cream already, didn't I?"

"Hey! We're still celebrating my birthday!"

"Am I still not forgiven?"

"Of course, not! Unless,..."

"Unless what?"

Patty let go of Dante as she gave him a truly mischievous smirk, one that made you smile inwardly. She truly is making her move,...

"Unless you go on an overnight cruise with me."

"Are you joking?! Only the two of us?!" Dante panicked, clearly picking up on what he thought Patty was planning. And he was definitely not ready and not up for that. "Are you out of - ?!"

"Are you silly?! Of course, the others are invited!" Patty laughed as she turned and waved at Nero, Kyrie, and the orphans, who were excitedly boarding the yacht she rented for the special overnight cruise.

"Come on, Dante! We'll have so much fun!" Patty lured the Devil Hunter once more.

"Y - you don't understand! You and I - "

"Are what?" Trish, who also seemingly came out of nowhere, cut him off as she grabbed his arm and began leading him towards the yacht. "Are you thinking something dirty in there, Dante?"

"How inappropriate!" Lady butted in as she also took the man's arm. "How naughty could you really get, hmm?"

You stifled your laughter as you watched the three women drag the unwilling Dante towards the yacht like a human sacrifice of some sort. Then, you noticed Lady as she turned towards you for the last time before leaving, mouthing something like, good luck, cherry pie with a wink and a wide smile. Patty also turned, but she didn't look at you. She deliberately looked at V and gave him a wink and a thumbs up for a reason you still don’t know.

"How annoyingly human is that?" Griffon, who somehow made his way towards you without being seen or heard, spoke upon watching the said humans get on the yacht. "Hey, V, why don't we - ?”

"Didn't ya hear what the girls said?!" Nico, who was pulling along Shadow, who clearly looked annoyed for being disturbed, interrupted. She, then, took Griffon's arm and started dragging him towards the yacht. "Move yer ass!"

V couldn't help but smirk as he watched Griffon being helplessly dragged by the woman, leaving only the two of you alone on the beach.

Leaving you two alone until the next morning,...

Did Patty read his mind? After all, it was she who made a move to basically get rid of the others for him,...

If so, then,...

"They're just leaving us here?" V heard you next to him.

"Seems like it." He answered, listening to Griffon and Dante's screams in the distance until he could no longer hear them.

"Where are they going?"

"I,... don’t know."

"Oh."

"Hmm."

You two looked at each other, both realizing what the others' absence meant for the two of you.

"Want to go for a dive?" V politely and graciously offered.

"Not really,..." you hesitated, feeling hot, excited and nervous all at the same time at the prospect of spending time alone with your lover. V smiled. Of course, he knew you wouldn't agree to - "O - on second thought, sure! Why not?" You stuttered awkwardly as you finally agreed, making the poet’s lips curl up in a smile.

It could simply be described as the most relaxing day you've had in many years. You and him diving in the ocean and swimming towards that beautiful rock formation, the two of you walking hand in hand as you picked up pretty sea shells in the sand along the way, you describing the lovely things you've seen in your travels, and him tenderly telling you that he wanted to see such things with you,...

It was,... so beautiful, and perfect. In fact, the two of enjoyed this alone time too much that you didn't even notice the setting sun. It was then that he suggested to take a rest for a while and watch the breathtaking sunset with you, making sure you still have that towel to sit on for later. And as you watched the soft glow of the twilight sky with him, you couldn't help but sigh in relief and contentment. The poet raised an eyebrow, urging you to tell him whatever made you react in such a way. You smiled and simply shook your head.

"Thank you so much, V." You whispered, making the poet hum in question. "You were giving me life, weren't you?"

V smiled as he wrapped an arm around your waist and kissed your temple. "And what made you say that, my love?"

"It's exactly that. Your gentle touch, your tender kisses, your warm embrace. Every time you do this, I feel this strange kind of power coming from you, and this gives me energy, somehow. Like, ah, how do I even explain this? Hmm,..."

"Like,... this?" V whispered in that low, almost moan - like, voice as he held you even closer, wrapping both of his arms around you, giving you no chance to think of a proper explanation. You were drowned in his overwhelming presence even more as he began kissing you, letting his lips move against yours in an intoxicating manner, letting your own passion guide you as you shyly reciprocated,...

... and even before you could go any further, he broke the kiss, smiling bashfully as he heard you whimper with disappointment.

"Tell me, darling," V whispered once more, sending your senses straight to Heaven. " ... did you feel,... something?"

You pouted, feeling a bit embarrassed that he was teasing you now of all times when you suddenly realized that you desperately needed him now. But, yes! You did feel something!

You nodded, simply because you couldn't trust your own voice. This scenery, the atmosphere, the man you loved above all else,...

Everything was just too perfect, and you were afraid that this was only like one of those vivid dreams you don't want to wake up from,...

"But, you're not dreaming. I'm here. With you."

You bit your lip, realizing that you've said your thoughts out loud, and looked up at him, only to see tenderness, and warmth, and something else in those beautiful green eyes of his.

"And I want to give you more." He said as his face went down close to yours again. "I need to give you more. More and everything you deserved. I need you,..." You closed your eyes, feeling his lips descend upon yours once more,...

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🏝 A huge surprise is coming your way, courtesy of @bettybattaglia and @la-vita . Please, look forward to it. 🏝

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