#but i've been thinking about it a lot with what i'm writing now too

[fireladyofink]

Oh God.. uuhhhh.. been a minute since I tried one of these..

Skipping 1, hate first person, just can't do it, not even read it.

2 is 100% Andlàtkyn. There's some issues here and there but it will always be my pride and joy.

Due to not posting on AO3 (even though I really should be), 3 is mostly ineffective. Except Wattpad has tags. I'd say UTAU, dragons and crossover.

4, lol. Literally. Lately I keep using that (only when texting others) and it's bothering me. I feel like a simpleton because of how much I'm saying that, eugh.

5 I've honestly learned a lot while researching fics. For one, I found out lantana berries are toxic to humans yet taste like blueberries, and I have them growing in my backyard. They're actually my favorite plant! I love their flowers; so pretty, and they have such a uniquely funky smell as well. Part of why I adore them, it stands out so much without being a bad smell. And the leaves have a sort of citrus smell? I love lantanas.

6 I don't know. I've thought about requests due to the money, but I feel like I'd either struggle to start writing it or get carried away with it- or straight up not finish in a reasonable timeframe. Commissions? Like art commissions? Maybe in a few years when I'm more confident in my skills and also somehow have a drawing tablet to properly draw digitally. Something like that.

7 Either or. I love making sickeningly sweet coffee or various different teas.

8 Is honestly hard to decide! Off the top of my head I can think of Dust initially meeting Killer with the hilariously absurd question of "What do you mean you don't have a mouth? How are you speaking right now? Your ass?"

9 Believe it or not it was basically when I first got a phone and commented a short story in the comments of a YouTube video. Someone replied with a suggestion of Wattpad. The rest is history, lol.

10 Off the top of my head I can't think of anything beyond something very specific for the fic I've been thinking about again lately, Ninjagaësia. Only time I've written outside of the UT fandom too, I specifically want to get around to writing that version of Zane more. What I had planned for him is fun as hell. An absolute badass.

11 Lots of comments, votes and people enjoying it. Which, continuing the above mention, Ninjagaësia doesn't qualify for. Pretty unsuccessful, but for once I don't really care.

12 Undertale AU's. I doubt I'll ever leave, either.

13 No. Hell, my ultimate fic of Andlàtkyn was written throughout the later half of highschool. I am technically working on an original story on the sidelines, I call it my worldbuilding project because I'm building up so much lore in this world before I actually touch on the story itself outside of a vague idea. About 60-ish different species of people, including the were-diseases. Last I counted, anyway. I'll be working on it for years, I know it, and I don't mind that either.

14 Comments talking about my fics on said fics. Actual interactions! It brings me joy. 🧡

15 My family is well aware. I don't bring up a lot of details but the last time I went into vague detail with my mother it was over a scene in Andlàtkyn (no direct spoilers) and she interpreted it weirdly and now she teases me by asking if I'm killing babies again! A bit awkward..

16 Actually finishing a damn story. I don't mind the periods of no writing until I get inspired again, but what annoys me is when I can't seem to finish anything. Only ever finished Andlàtkyn. I still have yet to write anything for the sequel to it, either! Zeradelsída is still just a bunch of loose plot points..

17 I am semi successfully writing benevolent eldritch horror. It doesn't intend harm, but it is truly.. horrifying nonetheless. The uncertainty of someone knowing he died, feeling his own heart stop beating, and feeling something OTHER seep inside and force it to start again, pulsing in his veins, fusing with his anatomy, permanently altering both him and itself into something completely unknowable.. I'm rambling. Anyone who hasn't seen my Wattpad, read Awakened. If you don't mind ridiculously long fics, read Andlàtkyn too!

18 I have at least 7 I mostly expect to finish, with at least 4 others just kind of.. there. I don't think I've posted any of those, either. I also have ideas inspired by dreams that I'd love to write down someday, though don't really expect to actually codify.

19 I kind of just don't. I work on different projects as the inspiration hits, take a backseat for a month or so, then come back to either the same project or a different one.

20 Hmmm.. Hard to think of something specific. I'm leaning towards stuff in Andlàtkyn. I don't really have a favorite kiss scene because I don't do romance. I write adventure! Andlàtkyn has some side romance though- not that any of it is my favorite. Platonic stuff, though.. I'd say my favorite is honestly Lust and Alter incidentally befriending each other and becoming venting buddies. It's the cutest thing, their friendship is adorable and wholesome despite the background angst. I didn't write nearly as much of them as deserved.

21 Honestly it's mostly lack of inspiration that I'm pretty sure stems from depression. If I could get an ADHD prescription or depression meds I'd probably be a lot better but like. I am completely broke. So much so that those issues aren't even in the top 10 of pressing problems solved with money.

22 Given I've literally only done it once.. not really. I guess I post it around everywhere I can think of in excitement?

23 That one continuous dream I had that went on over a month centered on a Nightmare that was freshly corrupted. He was honestly so nerdy and adorable despite putting on the brave and mildly "evil" front. The boy. Him. Goddamnit I want to write that at some point.

24 Honestly I can't think of anything for this one.

25 Oh yeah, I can't think of anything off the top of my head but there's a lot I'd like to fix in all of my stories, lol.

26 Kind of? It's a more recent development, did it for Zeradelsída which still has yet to be written, did it for that Ninjagaësia too. A little bit of a broad, even vaguer outline for things I want to happen in Awakened, too? More like events, no particular order or connection.

27 A few of those WIP's that haven't been posted... Okay technically just one. There's also the very first fic I wrote that is subsequently the only one I've ever deleted.

28 Angstiest often coincides with cursed for some reason, so I'll just go with the ending of Andlàtkyn for the Apple Twins.

29 I kind of just.. don't. If I do, I start hating everything, and because I'm not THAT bad at spelling and grammar I think it's mostly fine the way it is.

30 Oh absolutely. It's particularly obvious when one looks at Andlàtkyn, which I wrote over the course of 4 years. Really neat transition, if I ever manage to do it, I'd rewrite the beginning a little to match the rest when crossposting to AO3. If I ever get around to that.

31 Again, Andlàtkyn. That fic is my baby, man. It's so precious to me.

32 Honestly I don't know for this one, which is weird.

33 100% Ink of Awakened. My little boy. I have some friends that would rib the hell out of me if they ever found out, lol. Thankfully the main one doesn't even remember that he has a Tumblr.

34 I was not expecting how hard of a question this is! I thought it was Andlàtkyn, but thinking about it.. I don't think so? It might simply just change depending on which one I'm currently fixated on, but at the moment I think my favorites to get that on is Awakened and Ninjagaësia, second of which already has basically nothing to begin with.

35 I don't have anything, oof.

Fanfic/Author Ask Game

Write a scene from [insert fic] in another character’s POV

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A character you enjoy making suffer.

A character you want to protect.

What is your favorite fic to get comments/messages on?

Wild Card: Ask me something else!

[for-a-longlongtime]

Hey Anon, I saw your message this morning! 💜

You pointed out "Yall need to be careful of bi erasure" and linked to a post someone made about me. I appreciate the heads up! To be honest, I’m not concerned about people suggesting that I’m doing bi erasure. Whether it’s regarding Pedro characters in canon, head canons, or bisexuality in any other way. But hey, everybody can have their opinion about things, including what they think about me.

I dont talk much about myself here, but my tumblr bio has said from day 1 that I’m a bi woman. My master list mentions most of my fic “is queer (m/m, bi4bi, m/m/f, non-binary and trans characters)”. Folks who have read my fic know I've written pairings where every character is explicitly bi ( Frankie x f!reader x Santi; Peña x Rockford x OFC; Ezra x f!reader x Benny Miller, and WIPs with Joel and Marcus M, Frankie x f!reader x OFC and Maximus x Acacius x Lucilla).

Can bisexual people still do bi erasure? Sure!

Do I worry whether straight folks or other random folks online think I'm involved in bi erasure? Nahhh.

Anyway, I did make some posts the other day based on anons submitted to me about issues re: queer representation in this fandom. Let me just direct you to the several posts I made on that day, which started in response to a question about Renaldo:

"Was Renaldo Gay in the SNL sketch?? I've seen a lot of blogs saying he wasn't?". TL;DR version of my response: the ending of the song states "word to the wise, if you've got wives, hide them from the three bros!" suggesting that Renaldo, Domingo, and Santiago all hook up with women/wives. Considering Renaldo hooked up with Matthew, that probably makes him bisexual (and not the fact that he had Sophie, aka Sabrina's character, dancing up on him) - or queer, or someone who doesn't like to label himself. However, while 'hide your wives' works linguistically as a great punch line to wrap up the song, it does not refer to Renaldo's affair with Matthew (now that is bi erasure, if you wanna be exact), so I did point out that 'hide your spouses' would've been more accurate - but understandably, that's not as catchy. I'm currently writing a Renaldo x Matthew one shot, and I said my headcanon has Renaldo as gay - but that's my interpretation/hc/fic.

Someone wrote to me: Some blogs in the fandom is hellbent on taking away any attention away from anything mlm based with his characters anyway so it wouldn't matter in Renaldo was gay - someone would find a loophole to make him like women. TL;DR I agreed, because there are people who definitely do that. It became part of a longer thread of reblogs with some other folks in which we talked about how Pedro's mlm (men loving men) characters, such as Oberyn, Dieter and Silva in particular, either tend to be canonized primarily as bisexual by people but in fic are almost always paired with women (f!reader or OFCs). Which is fine, but people are definitely interested in seeing more m/m representation for those characters. Someone also brought up that when Pedro characters are paired with non-binary reader inserts or OC, it tends to be mostly afab!nb (or afab!trans characters), and that they were surprised that there weren't more amab!nb characters - that's a great point too.

I made a post with an anon message that pointed out "MLM includes bi, pan and queer men. They might like women. (And/or other genders, but they still like men)". Very correct!

Finally, there was an excellent long message from an anon saying "We need more representation of bi people in same-gender relationships represented" and that even in threesomes or throuples (fic) that include two men, there should ideally be more mlm representation. Once again, I fully agree. Everybody should write whatever they want, but I do often see threesomes that are listed as Pedro Character 1 x reader x Pedro Character 2, but in the fic it's more like reader having sex with two straight men at the same time while they're trying to not cross swords, rather than mlm being represented. THIS IS DEFINITELY CHANGING THOUGH: it's wonderful to see a big increase of mlm characters in threesomes/throuple fics over the past year!

So here is my main issue with a lot of people who are raging about 'bi erasure', and why I've made several posts about queerness within this fandom (not just recently, but from the start). Of course bisexual people exist (hello, it me, for one). Pull up some statistics if you want: there are a lot more folks who identify as bisexual than there are folks who identify as gay or lesbian. I'm an older millenial, so if you wanna talk about bi erasure: the measure in which it happens today is nothing compared to the bi erasure and deeply engrained homophobia we experienced in our teens and twenties from society at large. However:

🏳‍🌈 In your rush to point out bisexuals exist, you're shutting down a much broader dialogue with people within the LGBTQIA+ community. 🏳‍🌈

Because have you noticed how gay men, nonbinary/genderqueer fans, amab!trans or amab!nonbinary FANS (not fic characters; I'm talking actual people) are extremely underrepresented in this fandom? In addition to in fic? And that these fans won't have their fiction or actual posts shared all that much? Or that when they carefully speak up, e.g. about being happy to see Pedro portray Silva as a gay character, they're immediately rebuffed and called biphobic or that they're trying to erasure bisexuality?

Yeah. That part.

It's messed up.

Nobody is even making demands. Nobody is even saying "what writers are doing is wrong". They're just saying, "This is a bummer". And some of us are pointing out that mlm Pedro characters in m/m pairings are hard to come by, which is too bad because it's not only us queers who read m/m Pedro character pairings - there are lots of straight fans out there who have indicated they like reading that, too.

Are you gonna call that bi erasure? Or marginalization of women? Or anything really except for what it actually is? Fans are just saying "yknow, I wish there were more fans/fic characters/bodies in fic represented in this fandom that look and feel more like me". People seem to have finally understood that in varying degrees when this applies to body type or racial/cultural background (which took many white people a lot longer to fully grasp; BIPOC folks have been saying this for such a long time already) - it's about diversity and wanting to feel included. But when gay or transfolks say this about mlm, a whole bunch of y'all are crying bi erasure?

In short (and I can't believe I need to even fuckin' say this):

The Pedro fandom or its fic does NOT belong exclusively to women.

It does not belong to cis folks, to straight people, or any other particular group of people.

Aren't we all just trying to be a community? Then stop acting like people reading Silva or Renaldo (or any other character) as gay are erasing bisexuality - that's not the case or the damn point.

And anon-- my critique truly isn't directed at you, I'm not dragging you in any way. You took the effort to bring something to my attention, plus you clearly care about people, and I appreciate that a lot. But there are tons of people who don't dare to speak up about this in public settings, so I can't help but take this opportunity to not only clarify what I said earlier -- but also to address the bigger problem at large. Read or write all the gossip blogs you want, by all means, but maybe also consider using that time to actually connect with people.

[emsdevs]

birthday celly prompt list - William Nylander

a/n: i promise i'm getting back on my writing grind 🙏 i don't have an ask for this one bc i just wanted to write for willy so i asked kirby to pick a prompt for me 🧍‍♀️ enjoyyyyy!! 🧡

Prompt 3: "I've always wanted this."

masterlist | Birthday Celly 2025 Masterlist

You’d known William since you were a teenager. You were neighbors with the Hughes boys, and Quinn had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. You were a year older than him, but that didn’t stop the two of you from being inseparable. When you went over to his house one summer day and found a strange boy you didn’t recognize, you didn’t expect it to change your life the way it has. The entire time William stayed with the Hugheses, you admired him from afar, telling yourself that having a harmless little crush on the older boy wouldn’t hurt anything. 

At the time, it didn’t, but when you ran into William after moving to Toronto a few months ago and all of those feelings came rushing back, you started to regret it. He’d been quick to ask you to meet up for coffee one day, catch up with one another. You let yourself agree, and ever since then, he’s been your closest friend in Toronto. You’d hang out with him whenever he got a free moment. He’d let you dogsit when he had roadies. You two had gotten so close that you talked on a daily basis, but those feelings were still creeping into the back of your mind.

You felt your heart race any time his hand brushed against yours. Butterflies fluttered around in your stomach when he looked into your eyes just a bit longer than what could be considered normal. You found yourself thinking about him more often than you cared to admit. You’d see the most random things, and your mind would find a way to connect them to Willy. Needless to say, you were in deep, and you weren’t sure how much more you could handle.

When Willy invited you over for dinner, you couldn’t say no, so you headed straight to his place after work. He didn’t have a game tonight, so you two would have plenty of time to hang out. When you arrive at his place, you’re surprised to see the fancy setup he has for you. Usually, the two of you would just order some takeout and watch a movie while you ate, but this looks like some kind of Valentine’s or anniversary dinner or something. It definitely doesn’t look like a dinner for two friends. 

Willy clocks the confused look on your face, and he’s quick to make his way over to you. He grabs your hands, guiding you closer to the dinner table, loaded with food. 

“Will- I- What is all this?” you stammer out. You were still shocked, unsure of how to act now.

“Well,” he trails off a bit, “I just- I don’t know. I mean I might’ve read this wrong, so just let me know if this isn’t something you want. But, you know, we’ve been getting a lot closer recently, and I was kinda getting a feeling that this might be something more than friendship. I mean, I know that’s what I want, but I was getting the feeling you want that too.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so nervous. Your heart jumps to your throat, and the weight of the feelings you’ve been pushing down for years is lifted off your shoulders. A relieved smile finds its way onto your face, and you let out the breath you’d been holding since you walked into his apartment. 

“I’ve always wanted this,” you squeeze his hands, trying to get your point across with something other than words. He smiles, letting out a breath, before removing his hands from yours in favor of placing them on your cheeks. He pulls you in, placing a soft, long-awaited kiss. Teenage you would be freaking out right now, and if you’re completely honest with yourself, adult you is freaking out too. You spent years of your life pining over William, and just like that, he was yours now. Apparently, he had been for a while.

taglist: @dancerbailey3 @nadicakes143 @wollgirlie

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[vonbabbitt]

Okay Von hi feel free to just ignore this if it's not a topic you want brought up and I'm not saying this was bad writing on your part since it was definitely unintentional but GOD DAMN it hurts that Watari died and was specifically burned during black history month. The cold motive being during December was a coincidence so this definitely is too but holy fuck it just hurts. A lot.

Praying it's a suicide honestly because one of these students I've grown to love burning a black woman alive on purpose during February (ik they don't know it's February but on principle it still hurts) would fuck me up so bad.

You're an awesome writer so don't take this the wrong way, it isn't a critique at all and definitely just seems like an awful coincidence to me but still. It's an awful coincidence.

(if it wasn't obvious btw I am black just so this doesn't read as some weird yt person lmao)

Thanks for making tetro anyway, hope you're in better health soon

hey anon, i wanted to address this because its a totally valid thing to bring up and your message was really really polite about it

it genuinely is just an awful coincidence unfortunately. when i first wrote all of tetro a few years ago i had zero idea of when it would be releasing or what the release schedule would look like, and things just happened to line up in a really unfortunate way.

obviously i cant speak on any matters of the case or the trial or the culprit right now, so i think a much better use of this platform and time would be to discuss ACTUAL issues of anti-black racism in japan with the focus people are now giving watari. hopefully thats a use of this platform that people will be able to take something away from

japan, historically, has had relatively limited interaction with african countries and people of african descent. the first time a black person was actually recorded historically in japan was a 16th century samurai named yasuke who was brought over by portuguese traders and eventually then served as a samurai under a 16th century daimyō named oda nobunaga. yasuke was very much a spectacle in 16th century japan, with records at the time saying that people in kyoto were fascinated by his height and dark skin. japan's interaction with black people remained extremely sparse throughout a lot of this time.

in the late 19th century, during japans early globalization, american minstrel shows (blackface performances) toured in japan, which introduced derogatory caricatures of black people to japanese audiences. it was a sort of imported imagery in that sense, carrying imported western racism with it into japan and laying foundations for japan's anti-black stereotyping in future japanese media.

during ww2, japan portrayed itself as a champion of non-white peoples against western imperialism and proposed a racial equality clause at the 1919 league of nations, which western powers rejected. while they were advertising this anti-racism approach, propaganda and attitudes within japan were actually a lot different. for example, after the war, many japanese people initially blamed black soldiers for the bombings, insisting that their skin had been "blackened" by the bomb. the american occupation of japan from 1945 to 1952 then brought a significant black presence to japan, with about 15000 black troops stationed in tokyo alone by 1946. these soldiers' interactions with japanese civilians (including romantic relationships) served as many japanese people's first prolonged contact with black people. the occupation era brought a new wave of mixed-race children that then went on to face strong social stigma in japan and the US alike, dredging up entrenched ideas about racial purity. generally, japan's historical context regarding black people is one of limited contact and imported stereotypes, setting the stage for modern perceptions.

in contemporary japan, which is still about 98% ethnically japanese, black people are an incredibly small minority, thought to make up only 0.02% of the population. because of this homogeneity, many attitudes towards black people are shaped by media images and lack of personal interaction. on one hand, theres still a curiosity and admiration for aspects of black culture in japan - mainly african-american pop culture, particularly hip-hop, sports and fashion. younger japanese people emulate black musicians and athletes, as well as certain subcultures (notably the late 1990s "B-style" trend) and at times even darken their skin to imitate black celebrities. on the other hand, deep-seated stereotypes persist. black people are often stereotyped as exceptionally athletic, musical or "cool", but also dangerous and foreign. as an example, black residents in japan will commonly report that strangers perceive them with a mix of fascination and fear. baye mcneil (who is a black author living in japan that i absolutely recommend reading the works of) notes that japanese reactions to blackness are frequently rooted in ignorance rather than malice. he notes that many japanese people fear blackness, and that their fear comes from a place of ignorance. this manifests in ways that may seem subtle at first glance - avoiding sitting next to a black passenger on the train or holding their belongings a little tighter in the presence of a black person. microaggressions against black people in japan are still extremely prevalent.

that same prejudice can also take the form of insensitive comments or questions, usually stemming from the assumption that all black people are from africa or america and fit certain tropes. for instance, a black friend of mine who visited japan recently noted that she was asked on more than one occasion if her skin colour would "rub off", reflecting a massively prevalent lack of exposure. japanese anti-black racism is strongly rooted in ignorance as opposed to the overt hatred displayed in western countries; physical attacks motivated by race are unusual. instead, social exclusion and othering are the more common issues. black people, like other visible minorities, often face the "perpetual foreigner" mindset japan still holds - no matter how long they've lived in japan or how well they speak japanese, they may be treated as outsiders. even japanese-born residents of mixed african descent can be viewed by some as not "fully japanese", as seen in public reactions to famous mixed-race individuals of such descent. to recap, modern attitudes are a complicated mix: a general polite public demeanour masking unspoken biases, a fascination with black culture coexisting with lingering stereotypes, and a lack of awareness that results in black residents frequently feeling hyper-visible yet entirely misunderstood and misinterpreted.

id also like to talk about the role of japanese media in anti-black racism in japan. japanese media and pop culture have a bit of a mixed record in their portrayal of black people. historically, representations were often steeped in caricature. in anime and manga, black or dark-skinned characters are often drawn with exaggerated features reminiscent of racist minstrel imagery, such as the very frequent use of exaggerated lips seen in many popular anime. two fairly infamous examples are mr. popo from the dragon ball series and jynx from pokemon. mr. popo is a genie-like character depicted with jet-black skin, large red lips and a turban, features clearly echoing the blackface iconography japan became familiar with in the 19th century. these designs sparked criticism internationally as well. western releases of these shows later altered the characters, such as mr. popo's skin being recoloured to bright blue in one edited instance, to downplay the resemblance to racist caricatures. the portrayal of black people in japanese media has thus been subject to intense criticism for insensitivity. many japanese viewers initially did not recognize these depictions as offensive, due to the different historical context, but awareness around anti-black racism has since been growing.

live-action media and advertising have also featured plenty of tone-deaf portrayals. blackface in comedy shows persisted in japan long after it had faded from other parts of the world. as recently as new years eve 2017, a popular comedian (masatoshi hamada) donned full blackface to impersonate eddie murphy on national TV, igniting outrage among international viewers and anti-racism activists. domestic reaction within japan was mixed, with some defending it as harmless cosplay and others (both japanese and otherwise) pointed out that, intentional or not, such images are hurtful and stem from ignorance. baye mcneil (shoutout again) led campaigns to educate the public on why blackface is offensive, especially with the 2020 tokyo olympics on the horizon and japan under greater global scrutiny. in 2020, japans public broadcaster NHK aired an animated segment about the black lives matter protests that depicted caricatured black figures (a muscular black man speaking broken japanese, with others shown looting) without any mention of police brutality - a portrayal widely condemned as racist. NHK retracted and apologized after facing backlack, showing that japanese media institutions are finally (but slowly) being called to account for promoting racist imagery and stereotyping.

there have been positive developments. the rise of internationally successful mixed-race japanese athletes and celebrities - such as tennis star naomi osaka, who is haitian-japanese, or signer crystal kay, who is korean-african-japanese - has prompted more nuanced conversations about identity. advertisers have featured more diversity in commercials, though not without missteps. as an example, one 2019 nissin noodles ad drew criticism for depicting a cartoonized naomi osaka with much lighter skin and eurocentric features. on variety TV, black personalities often appear, but sometimes in tokenized roles. notably, foreign talents like bob sapp and bobby ologun became famous in japan in the 2000s. while they gained popularity, they were somtimes boxes into caricatured personas (the "big scary black man" or the comic relief.) a quote from a japanese viewer at the time noted that "bobby ologon speaks weird japanese, bob sapp eats raw meat...it's like watching a circus show. people look down on them and it is obviously discrimination." this underscores how japanese media often plays up stereotypes (the non-fluent funny foreigner, the brute strength athlete, etc.) for laughs. however. more recent years have seen more candid discussions in media about racism. for example, japanese news programs covered the 2020 BLM marches in japan seriously, and films or other literature by afro-japanese creators, such as the memoirs of black residents, are slowly gaining more attention. overall, japanese pop culture is gradually, if slowly, moving from caricature to more authentic representation, pushed by both international pressure and a new generation that is more globally aware.

for black people living in or visiting japan, everyday life is generally safe but can be clouded by subtle discrimination and challenges. japan has no law explicitly prohibiting racial discrimination, so incidents of bias can go unchecked. a government survey in 2017 revealed that nearly one third of foreign residents had encountered derogatory remarks, and about 40% reported facing housing discrimination. black individuals often find themselves included in these statistics and often experience much greater suspicion than white foreigners. for instance, many black residents have stories of being repeatedly stopped by police for "random" ID checks or questioning, a practice linked to racial profiling. michael sharpe (a professor with the university of oxford) notes hearing of south asian and african immigrants being "stopped and harassed by police, denied housing, relegated to certain types of employment, and exploited" in japan. such profiling feeds a sense among black communities that they are being watched with particular scrutiny. a black american in tokyo reported that in his first week of living in a neighbourhood, he was stopped by police for riding a new bicycle, with the implication that a black person on a new bicycle may have stolen it.

housing and employment present other hurdles. its common for landlords and real estate agents in japan to flat-out reject foreign renters, with excuses such as language barriers or different lifestyles. black applicants, especially those from african or non-western countries, report this rejection at higher rates, sometimes hearing that neighbours or owners are "uncomfortable" renting to them. in the workplace, blatant racism is uncommon, but black professionals often face a ceiling or bias. many employers prefer hiring white westerners, perceiving them as more "suitable" english instructors or corporate representatives due to pervasive western-centric images, which can sideline black candidates. those who do work in japan might also endure ignorant comments from colleagues - for example, joking about skin colour or being compared to random black celebrities. a lack of diversity training means coworkers may not realize their "innocent" jokes are hurtful or disparaging.

social interactions can range from warmly welcoming to awkward. many japanese are genuinely curious and might ask personal questions with a racial charge behind them that the japanese fail to recognize. in more negative cases, black people may be avoided in public - a phenomenon illustrated by baye mcneil's anecdote of a man literally turning away and guarding his pockets when mcneil stood behind him in a train line. children often point or call out black people because they so rarely see black individuals, with such moments highlighting the feeling of otherness that black residents frequently experience. there have also been many incidents out outright rudeness: strangers touching black hair without permission, or making vulgar comments about the hygiene of black residents based on stereotyping.

its important to note that in the modern day, many black visitors travel in japan without incident, and many black expatriates build meaningful lives and friendships in japan. the discrimination tends to be subtle or indirect rather than open hostility. japans strong cultural emphasis on politeness often restrains open hate. however, this can be a double-edged sword. problems of racism may be denied or swept under the rug entirely. a common culture among the japanese is that "racism is an american problem, not a japanese one," which was a reaction seen when BLM rallies were held in tokyo. black residents in japan know differently - they live with daily reminders that their appearance sets them apart, for better or worse. in summary, daily life for black people in japan is usually from from violence or blatant abuse, but not free from the strain of being viewed as "alien" and having to navigate systemic biases in housing and policing that other groups might not face to the same degree.

several high-profile incidents in recent years have brought anti-black racism in japan into the spotlight and stirred public debate. one example is the case of ariana miyamoto in miss universe japan 2015. when miyamoto, born to a japanese mother and black father, won the miss universe japan title, it sparked nationwide conversation about what it means to be japanese. while many were proud of her win, a vocal sector on social media questioned whether a mixed-race contestant should represent japan. miyamoto, who was raised in japan, revealed she had faced bullying growing up - classmates threw trash at her and called her racial slurs due to her darker skin. the controversy around her victory - with comments such as "she doesnt look japanese" being prevalent - highlighted the exclusionary view some hold. her grace under fire and the support she received from others also became a teaching moment about multicultural japan.

another example is the case of tennis champion naomi osaka, who - as mentioned earlier - is hatian-japanese. while she is widely celebrated in japan, her rise came with many instances of racism. in 2019, japanese comedy duo a masso joked that osaka was "too sunburned" and that she "needed some bleach", implying her skin was too dark. they apologized after receiving harsh backlash. earlier that year, as mentioned earlier, nissin noodles released a cartoon ad where osaka's character was depicted with much lighter skin and hair than in reality. following criticism, nissin withdrew the ad and admitted they had not consulted osaka on her portrayal. osaka herself has handled these instances of racism with maturity, even joking in response to the bleach comment, and continues to proudly represent her mixed heritage.

anti-black racism in japan is a multifaceted issue, shaped by history, media representation, and japans self-image as a homogenous society. only in recent years has japanese society progressed towards a stance of anti-racism. i think whats genuinely fascinating about japans position is that we're seeing the disassembly of societal racism in real time in japan. massive civil rights strides that happened a hundred years ago in america are happening now in japan for the first time. we're seeing a new generation of japan that wants to directly oppose racism, and a generation of black japanese residents that are showing their strength and exceptionality. i really vividly remember the backlash against naomi osaka - and backlash on that massive of a scale can be terrifying. its inspiring on such a genuine level to see her demonstrating that level of strength and determination in the face of racism.

its genuinely unfortunate how the uploads happened to fall in regards to watari and black history month. however, if nothing else, im glad to have been given the opportunity to talk about black history in japan, and im glad to have been given the opportunity to witness the fight for the safety, acceptance, and love of black people in japan in real time. i know this was a bit of a long read but i had a lot i wanted to go over lmao.

as a final note, please dont be complacent. its really easy for people to reblog posts about black history and civil rights without really doing much of anything else. please always be the type of person who fights against anti-black racism. please use your voice correctly. you dont have to be anywhere near japan to have a say in how japanese racism is received by the greater world. the benefit of a global culture is that you can use your voice to affect things in other countries. when there are japanese comedians making horrible jokes about black people, and when there are japanese companies putting out ads that mock and erase black people, you have the ability to loudly raise your voice about it. so please always do so

idk how to end this but if you made it this far thank you for reading lmao. and thank you anon for giving me an opportunity to talk about this in more depth. i hope everyone has been able to have a reflective, meaningful, happy and genuinely loving black history month

[guiltyleisure]

ough, I LOVE your comics! they have this melancholic feel to me that is both very different then the games, but feel RIGHT. like they are the quiet bits you don't see on-screen, in-between the games or past them. if you are ok with me asking, what are your thoughts on the Deluginists and Maligula (and how it connects to Raz family). or you could answer this from another characters POV, if you want

Thank you. And to anyone who has also sent an inbox message, I've seen and read them all. I am very grateful for all the nice comments you have to say about my work.

Psychonauts 2 spoilers under the cut.

I'll be honest. I'm not the biggest Psychonauts 2 lover, especially in it's story. From my posts you can see I mostly focus on characters that appear in the 05 game.

I do include elements and character/story pegs in the things I draw. But the whole general mole/maligula/gristol plot of the 2nd doesn't interest me too much.

That doesn't mean I'm completely disinterested in the concepts laid out. The deluginist idea is interesting. But I feel it gets diluted by Maligula still being alive and the only one we see is Gristol. And I'm not too terribly interested in Malik. I like the concept of Maligula/Lucy but it's a major pet peeve of mine that she ends up being related to Raz. I like him better as some circus kid who got to be an agent. Now he's related to a member of the psychic 7, founders of the Psychonauts agency. And him ever getting the idea to go to camp was was because of Lucy. + many other things the 2nd game effected. It makes Raz so artificially special. And the whole thing is too convoluted for me. Like how you and many others mention, how much you enjoy that my comics are mundane and melancholic. I enjoy a more grounded feel.

Although I'm not all negative about it. I find the idea of Raz and Lucy being mirrors of each other fascinating. It's a character dynamic trope I enjoy a lot. I like the lines they share in the files. And Lucys story in a vacuum is interesting. I've written a comic for Fred Bonaparte after I finished Gloria's. I don't have much to share, but it does mention the Raz being related to such a figure.

My own bias aside. I think there is plenty of interesting potential concerning Raz's origins and family connections. But I'll probably be sticking to the characters I've already been writing for the time being. I apologize for not being as into it as other people are. Though I did enjoy writing this a bit. I don't mind if people ask about more characters.

[rafesbabygirlx]

Hi angels (this is gonna be long)

I ramble because when I feel big feels I don't think straight, but please read 🤍

I'm posting this now because I just need to get it out. This has been weighing heavily on me. But I doubt anyone will read it hahah

This is really hard for me to say, but after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to wrap up some things I have left, complete some more requests and step back from writing anything new—at least for now.

I’ve been contemplating this for a while, trying to push past the feeling, but I’ve reached a point where I can’t ignore it anymore. Writing has been such a joy for me, and I’ve loved being part of this little community. You all welcomed me with open arms, and I can’t express how much that means to me.

Honestly, I don’t think I’m in the right mental space for it right now. As much as I love creating, I’ve found myself constantly doubting my work, comparing my writing to others and thinking that I can do so much better, and overthinking every detail. It’s a cycle I’ve fallen into on my own, and it’s taken a toll. On top of that, I feel like my blog has lost some of its spark, and my writing isn’t going anywhere and not growing. I’ve also gotten some nasty anons the past few weeks that I ignore but they still haven’t helped with my thoughts. 🫠

With my final semester of college also weighing on me, everything feels like it’s piling up. So, I think I just need a short break. Ew I feel like I sound so insecure. I think I’m just too hard on myself, especially when I get overwhelmed and burnt out.

I feel really guilty stepping away after working so hard to build this space and gaining so much support. The last thing I want is to let anyone down. But right now, this is what I need.

Please stick with me and don't forget me.

That said, I truly love being here, and I don’t think I can stay away for too long. Honestly, I might still post every now and then if I feel inspired. I also won’t be going completely dark - I want to stay engaged and continue supporting the amazing people I’ve met here. I’d love for my moots to keep me updated on their posts, and I’ll still be around to chat.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I really hate that I've gotten to this point. I still have some things I want to complete and then I plan to take some time off from writing. But I will be around. We can still interact. I don't want to completely lose what I have here. 🤍

I want to go through some more requests and I have a couple of parts left of The Pen Pal. I like to finish what I’ve started and I’m committed to that. I'm posting this and I have a couple of drafts ready to post tonight and then going to take a break for a day or 2 after posting this (because I feel awful and I want to avoid it)

I’m hoping that this will bring me some relaxation but I’m also hoping it will bring me some inspiration too. I have a series I’d love to restart and a lovely anon gave me a great idea for a JJ AU I’d love to do at some point. I hope those ideas would excite you just as much too.

I think right now it will just be a couple of weeks off just from writing. To refresh, heal my mind, and finally breathe. I’ve already expressed it slightly in some posts but I’ve been really thinking about it.

I already can’t wait to be back because this community has been so good to me. I appreciate every single one of you. What’s that corny saying? It’s not goodbye it’s see you later? I love you guys, and I’ll make another post when I officially take my break.

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE. IT ALL DOES IN MY HEAD. JUST A LITTLE BAD AT EXPRESSING MYSELF.

I wanna thank everyone who has supported my writings and I LOVE every single one of you.

I also wanna thank some of my moots! You all have helped me incredibly since I've joined. You're all so kind hearted and probably the best group of people I've ever connected with on the internet. I’m still here so please don’t stop tagging me or reaching out, I’ll still support all of you when I’m on a break. Forgive me if I'm forgetting anyone- not really thinking right now. But this goes for all my moots. 🤍

@rafesheaven @cameronsprincess @inthelibrarybtw @littlelamy @leather-n-velvet @writingroom21 @ivysprophecy @maybejj @rafescokewhore @nemesyaaa @rafescvntyclubgf @angelicameron @tanjamikaelson @starkeynation @quinnsbabygirl @frankoceanluvr11 @httpsdrewstarkey @v3n1ce-bxtch @zyafics @whytheylosttheirminds @rafesbuzzcutseason @maybankslover

[scribbledghost]

Writing Goddess!! How are you today? Sending love 💛

I was wondering… who do you think the vessels were when they were human? Do they remember? Do they miss it? Do they tell reader about it?

Hello!! I'm doing okay, thank you for sending this in! It's such an interesting question 💖💖

Vessel: converted to be Sleep's vessel in the middle ages

As I've touched on before, Sleep found Vessel when he was at his lowest. He'd endured a lot of trauma, a lot of pain, and just wanted relief from it.

He struggled to find what he wanted in life, what his place was, and where he fit. All he knew was the playing and singing music made at least some of the pain go away.

Now, he vaguely remembers what his life was like, but only in a nebulous sense. He remembers the hurt he felt (and caused), he remembers how desperate he was for an out. But he doesn't remember the finer details. He just knows he doesn't miss it.

If you ask, he'll tell you what little he remembers. But be warned, it isn't much. He's been alive for so long that trying to remember something that far in the past is like trying to find a specific grain of sand at the bottom of the ocean.

II: converted not long after Vessel did

I think II actually knew Vessel as a human. I'd like to think they were close even then, and II got to see in real time the transformation Vessel underwent to become what he is now.

Like Vessel, II doesn't remember the finer details of his life. He only really remembers that he was a musician for a royal court. He remembers how close he and Vessel were, and how scared the latter was when the inhuman traits started developing after he pledged himself to Sleep.

I also think that both II and Vessel had mutual romantic feelings for each other back then but hid them, and II could only stand to see Vessel suffer alone for so long, so he pledged himself to Sleep as well. He actually helped Vessel pick a spot to construct their home that would later develop into the manor you know now.

II will also tell you certain things if you ask, but he'll spare you the more gritty details of certain things. He misses it sometimes, but he's content with things now.

III: converted in the 1800s

He arrived much later than Vessel and II, and purely by accident. He never really fit in with "polite society", as he calls it, preferring either his own company or the company of others that tended to be looked down upon.

III found the manor in late autumn, and converted to a vessel not long after. It was perfect - plenty of solitude, yet company in the other residents.

He remembers a decent amount, and he'll tell you stories of his exploits often if you ask him to. He has plenty, between the places he frequented and the people he hung around with.

However, he's noticed that some of the finer details have started to slip away from him. He can still recall a great deal more about his human days than Vessel or II, but there's definitely spots in his memory that are starting to go fuzzy. Part of him does kind of wish he were human again, just for the fun of it.

IV: converted in the 1920s

He found the manor while he was on the run from the cops for theft. He was destitute, got caught up in the unemployment boom of the time, and had very little to his name. Finding a giant house in the woods and being offered free food and shelter was a miracle to him, so he willingly converted not long after his arrival.

IV remembers a lot of his human days, and most of those memories aren't pleasant ones. A lot of struggle, a lot of fear regarding where his next meal was coming from. He was foul-mouthed, angry, and overall unpleasant.

He'll tell you stories if you ask, but won't go too far into specifics purely because he doesn't want you to pity him for who he used to be. He's changed a fair bit since transforming, in part because he stopped having to struggle just to survive. (He still swears like a sailor though).

Absolutely doesn't miss being human. He'd gladly take being a vessel any day, and if you gave him the choice, he'd convert again in a heartbeat.

[lastofthewardens]

oof. probable BIG spoilers for the new show under the cut for people who care about that. nothing is confirmed, but i wholeheartedly believe this to be the truth, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK because i'm basically just screaming into the void in long form with nowhere else to let this out. my heart hurts so much right now.

for context, i'll be censoring characters/properties i mention that are unrelated so this doesn't show up in those search results.

so i guess the writing is basically on the wall about what will happen with foggy. i tried to stay positive, be delusional, rationalize a way out of what admittedly always looked bad to me. i didn't want to believe it because getting rid of FOGGY NELSON in a DAREDEVIL show seemed absolutely insane to me, especially when there are comic plots they could use to achieve 'matt losing foggy' and then go back on it afterwards. i did my best to not think about it for months at a time, reasoning that it can't be what it looks like, but at this point, the show comes out next week, and here we are.

now obviously nothing can be 100% confirmed until the episode comes out, i'll take all this back if i'm completely wrong, etc. etc. maybe this is the just the CRAZIEST long game of all time, the most coordinated possible lie. but based on the leaks i've seen, the interviews they've been giving, and what we can piece together from officially released material.. yeah, it looks like it's pretty much over.

they all talk like people who are preemptively trying to do damage control. i get the impression they KNOW this will upset maybe not MOST people but some amount of people, and they keep trying to pass blame around, hoping they won't have to take accountability. no one seems to want to own this plot point or acknowledge they've gone along with it. if i'm being completely honest, and i won't go into details because there's no point, but over the past year since this roller coaster started with the first leaks, i've lost a lot of respect for some of the people involved due to the way that they've chosen to engage or conduct themselves with regards to foggy's death.

but my gripe with them is not what this post is about. this post is about foggy.

let me back up first. when i watched daredevil, i didn't care about marvel at all. i was a fan of spiderm*n, but i didn't really read the comics, i only watched the original trilogy movies with t*bey mag*ire and the cartoons when i was a kid. i was primarily a DC fan actually, those were the comics i read, and god, I HATED the MC*U in particular. if you asked me at the time, i would've said something incredibly stupid like "spiderm*n is the only marvel character worth anything", and i would've been sat here years later cringing off the face of the planet remembering i said that.

and then i watched netfl*x's daredevil. i remember instantly falling in love with the show, the characters, the cinematography. man, i was obsessed. i loved everything about it, i loved nelson murdock and page, and i was so glad they let karen stick around because while i didn't read comics then, i was aware of her fate. but my favorite dynamic in the show was matt and foggy, right from the very start. and after years of watching them struggle, sometimes with painfully long waits between seasons, i'll never forget the absolute JOY i felt when they were stood in front of ray in season 3, saying they're going to represent him, and foggy says 'as nelson and murdock, attorneys at law'. united again at last. then nelson and murdock 'officially' became nelson murdock and page, and i was given the happiest possible ending for a show that was cancelled far too early. i carried that happy ending in my heart for a very long time.

when the show ended, i was obviously sad. i wanted to spend more time with all of these characters, and it was being cancelled for reasons that didn't feel fair after an amazingly well received season. i held out hope that maybe one day my favorite show would return, maybe a little different but with the same heart surely. surely. (if only i knew then what i know now). i didn't expect it though, and i made peace with my happy ending because that's something not all shows even get! i was grateful. grateful is the best way to put it.

and so i took that energy with me, and eventually, i decided to read some comic books. matt and foggy's relationship in the comics made me mourn for the season 4 that could've been because in my heart, i know they would've finally mended things properly. they would've worked together as a team again. and while the daredevil comics obviously have tons of other stuff going for them, matt and foggy were still at the heart of that for me. seeing the source material really enhanced my appreciation for the show and the characters, while also giving me something else to love about daredevil because many of those comic runs are amazing.

and when the new show was announced, i was so nervous but so excited. at first. but then what followed from there was a series of rumors over time about foggy and karen not being included at all, about foggy just being a cameo, foggy being KILLED off screen??? i remember just thinking what the actual fuck are they doing. and then everyone was fired! they hired a bunch of new people, said they were fixing things. there was hope. set pictures came out of nelson murdock and page, and for a day, i couldn't have been happier than i was seeing the three of them together again. then the other set pictures came out. videos. stories about those days on set being told by the people who leaked them. leakers who were supposedly reliable (as reliable as any of them ever are) said independently that foggy was still going to die. i was livid and upset and confused about how they could ever think this was a good idea.

for a solid year, i tried to ignore it was happening. 'they couldn't possibly be right, this can't be what it looks like, it's too obvious right? ...right?'. but i think it is what's happening. they are killing foggy nelson, in a daredevil show. and i'm absolutely devastated.

this is such an incredibly huge mistake for them to be making, even objectively. they talk about wanting this show to go on for 'season infinity', saying they have so many stories left to tell, and i just don't get it at all. 60 YEARS of comic history that i've come to love just flushed down the drain. so many story lines discarded, now impossible to adapt. so many story lines gutted, not impossible to adapt but missing the beating heart of it.

and it feels like no one cares. i go on social media, on twitter, on reddit. so many people just seem to think 'well, that's sad, but as long as it's a good story', as if foggy nelson isn't absolutely vital to matt's character, as if their friendship isn't part of the fabric. some people are arguing that 'it's never been done, and bold choices are good!' or else saying that they 'needed to raise stakes', especially to make bullseye look cool, all of which are absurd arguments to me. i remember when adaptations used to be love letters, not shitting on something just for the sake of 'doing something new'. i only wanted to see my favorite characters on screen again.

so the hardest part of this is feeling like there won't be any justice for this colossal fuck up. most people will obviously still watch this show. it will likely be extremely successful. just look at the early reviews, eating it up despite his death in the FIRST TEN MINUTES. they won't get the backlash that they deserve for shitting on the original show and the source material. at worst, a handful of people won't watch, like me, and they'll get some small amount of hate on social media, but largely, i suspect people will move on. (i won't).

there will be no justice. just insane disrespect for foggy's character, insane disrespect for his relationship with matt. i'm less sure about this part, but i've heard there's not even a funeral, that after he dies it goes to the title screen and then a year time skip. skipping all of the immediate aftermath in favor of what.. daredevil doing sick flips? another fight sequence? whatever. they couldn't even respect his character in death, but don't worry guys, i'm sure they totally 'care a lot'.

how they'll choose to handle it throughout the season will remain to be seen (or read and seethed about in my case because fuck that), so i can't speak on this part as much, but it seems like a disrespect to matt's character too. that man would never be happy again if foggy nelson died, but this new team clearly has other ideas.

and they could've fixed this. if you're someone who is upset, DO NOT let them fool you or talk you into thinking their hands were tied. the first and last two episodes are all new content the new team filmed. the story relied on everyone thinking foggy was dead, sure, but he didn't have to actually be dead. there's comic precedent for a fake out, and the death scene is newly filmed content. they even reshot scenes they'd filmed, like vanessa's when they got the actress back. however it plays out, the NEW team decided to make it play out that way. if i'm right and foggy is dead and there's no coming back from it, it's THEM who decided this. instead of making him look dead by constructing a death that he could come back from and then bringing him back after the plot they needed to tell (to keep the footage they already shot) was resolved, they just killed him. hold them responsible, always. don't let them pass the blame around the way they've so obviously been doing. this IS in fact on them, no matter what they say.

but at the end of the day, all that aside, my anger and sadness over this won't change anything. foggy's still dying. he's a character of his own with so many stories left they could've told, but they're discarding him in episode 1. any character development i'd been looking forward to seeing for him is all just gone. so many beautiful moments between matt and foggy just.. tossed away.

i'm a matt fan first. he's my favorite character. but i won't watch this show without foggy. there is no matt without foggy, to me. a permanent death, a matt permanently without foggy, is not a story that i'm interested in seeing or one i think is even worth telling. daredevil stories can be dark, yes, matt loses people close to him, yes, but there can also be a lot of hope, and foggy is his constant. there is no hope here. in retrospect, i know the original show didn't get everything right, but they would never have killed off foggy nelson. they knew how important he was. i believe that in my heart.

and i'm devastated. i've cried, honestly. because i don't know how i'm supposed to engage with anything daredevil now without it being tainted by this. i don't know how to watch the original show and not be thinking about what they've done, that the future of that version of those characters is what it is. i don't know how to read the comics and not be reminded of what could've been for matt and foggy, if people who actually cared about the right things had made this new show.

this isn't just.. a bad new show, that i can ignore, you know? if they'd kept it a reboot, excluded characters, i would've been annoyed but i could've just brushed it off as nothing to me. now that it's a continuation, and they've brought foggy back literally just to fridge him, it feels like something is being taken away from me. the joy that i felt watching season 3, reuniting 'as nelson and murdock, attorneys at law'. the joy that i felt watching foggy write nelson murdock and page on the napkin, and ending that show knowing they were going to be okay, even if i never saw them again on my screen. the happy ending i'd held in my heart all these years. it feels like that's been stolen from me by people who don't really get it at all.

i hope on tuesday i look like a complete fool for writing all of this, that i come back here and delete this post in embarrassment because i'm so completely wrong. i want to be wrong sooo bad, but i don't think that i am, and this all just really sucks. foggy nelson deserves so much better, and so do all of us fans.

[a-big-apple]

if someone's trying to really beef up a character's voice, what advice would you have for them (in general or in TLT in particular)? what are some major voice missteps you've seen esp given your extremely thorough reading of the series👀

jeej u always ask the most interesting questions!! i feel like in general, for me, i'm pretty good with remembering and recognizing voices (like, how they actually sound) and good at remembering iconic lines. so when i'm trying to write a specific pov, i'll sometimes revisit examples of the tone i'm going for by watching bits if it's a show, or listening to bits of the audiobooks for TLT, and then as i'm writing and editing i'll kind of read everything back to myself in that character's voice.

but that's a particular skill i have that may not be more broadly useful, so...in general, some of the things that stand out to me are vocabulary, register (like how formal or informal), and demeanor.

so for example, gideon has a really large vocabulary, and she uses big and/or obscure words for specific effect, usually to needle harrow, but not as much in everyday speech. she's also often crude, and she'll use slang, and she uses humor to defuse and disguise rather than speaking seriously very often, so when she's being honest and frank it has a big effect. her internal monologue isn't very formal, and neither is her speech most of the time, but the formality might increase when she's kiriona, for instance!

whereas harrow speaks very formally and precisely, might not use as many contractions (almost everybody uses contractions in normal speech and it sticks out when someone doesn't, this is a bugaboo of mine, but harrow does genuinely sometimes go super formal), and uses her own big vocabulary in her regular dialogue a lot more often. she's used to oratory, she's the leader of a religious order, she's pretty good at stringing together a speech whether it's intended to inspire or to tear somebody down.

then you've got somebody like camilla, who doesn't speak much but has a very dry humor when she does, and is more likely to truncate or leave off unnecessary words, making her come off kind of brusque. she waits to talk until she has something necessary or important to say, but she knows how to tease. she's fairly informal, but she can slide into an academic register very easily, and she almost always calls everyone, even palamedes, by their title instead of their name.

sentence structure can come into this too, for narration from a particular pov! gideon is observant but also sometimes misses things or doesn't have all the information, her narration might include more questions or commentary to herself. harrow is intellectual and scheming and sometimes super unsure, so she might have longer and more convoluted sentence structure in her narration. cam is super straightforward, so her narration might be full of observations and thoughts and feelings that she keeps to herself, but with more short sentences, a more clipped rhythm that matches her speaking style.

other things that can sometimes rub me wrong or stick out are endearments and nicknames! there are some characters who will make up names for people and keep using them (gideon) and some who will almost always use a respectful title or name (cam) and some people who throw endearments at everyone willy nilly (cytherea and augustine come to mind). if a character has a canon endearment or set of endearments that they default to, or specific ones for specific people, it really helps keep the voice in character to keep using those. harrow uses beloved for alecto, and it means something when that transfers to gideon in fic in place of griddle, or just her name. pyrrha uses kiddie, and six million other things, but only with nona and later a bit with kiriona. ianthe and coronabeth both flirt with nicknames that the objects of their attention either despise or don't seem to allow from anyone else (harry, jody, millie). gideon uses all her wild thesaurus superlatives for harrow, but when it's a crisis moment and she's showing her heart, she uses honey.

this is just my personal pet peeve i think, but love/baby/babe are SO overused as defaults, when there are so many good opportunities to either use something that the character does say in canon, or find something unique that fits the character and the relationship in the fic. and imo, these should always be used sparingly and for specific emotional effect, unless you've got a character like pyrrha who i think always uses nicknames for nona. (frankly, griddle is very cute but harrow doesn't actually use it as much as fic wants her to)

so i guess, tl;dr advice is to relisten/rewatch/reread the voice of the character you're trying to get into, and think about the way they say things and the way they present themself, and take note of any quirks they have that can be put to good use later!

[telesodalite]

Woe, unfinished, mildly edited, fulfire fic tid-bits be upon you

-

Like a magnet, his optics kept drifting back to Misfire's face. His stupid, strangely charming face.

For a short while, after Clemency, it had been that face that haunted some of his nightmares. His recalls blurring the lines between the strange reality of Misfire's hands reaching into him to lock his fuel pump back into the very spot he'd pulled it from, and the fear that just as easily he could pull it out again. They had been bloody dreams. Dreams that had him startling awake, gripping his chest in the vain attempt to close what wasn't open, before spending the rest of the day avoiding Misfire's optics.

But now things were different. Not Misfire's face. No, that hadn't changed much. But Fulcrum's dreams had definitely changed. To say the least of what all rolled around in his processor as he slept nowadays.

Some of those newer dreams had crept to the forefront of his mind as he sat there on the couch, staring as the lights of the screen reflected dully across Misfire's plating in hazy blues and greys.

The lighting made his colors seem muddy and faded, but Fulcrum didn't really care, nor did he care to think what it made himself look like. He was too busy bringing an empty engex can to his lips while he watched the crinkle of Misfire's nose as he barked a laugh at something Fulcrum didn't catch onscreen.

He'd started noticing it months ago, all the ways the silvery mesh of Misfire's face would scrunch up with his emotions. Those little crinkles along his optics and nose when he laughed or glared. The creases indented along his cheeks when he grinned. Fulcrum found himself quietly logging away these little details. Idle notes and observations that had suddenly started piling up in the corners of his processer.

He… He'd never really done that before? He'd never really noticed those sorts of things in other mechs.

The faces and expressions of his past colleagues never seemed terribly important. All the details of every smile and frown were never worth filing away, outside of few notable moments where those expressions reflected his work performance. But besides the smile that meant promotion, and the frown that meant he'd screwed up, nothing else was noticeable. Nothing was worth remembering.

But now the memory of every genuine laugh that bubbled out of Misfire sat comfortably besides memories of warm joyful optics that Fulcrum found himself collecting every time Crankcase cracked a rare half-smile for him, or when Krok placed a reassuring hand against his back, or the times Spinister spontaneously pointed out something odd but ultimately nice about his stupid frame.

He didn't really know why he was doing it, memorizing all these mundane little things, just to have them flit through his processer randomly. Maybe it was because those expressions, those details, felt… comforting? Comforting in such a strange and unfamiliar way. But, a good way. A good sort of strange, much like the mechs themselves.

-

-

He had stared for a long moment, the credits and their rolling tune playing somewhere in the background as Fulcrum stared back. But Misfire was never one for personable silence, even as the sound of some likely long dead Iaconian orchestra filled the room.

"What is it?" He asked, a small chuckle escaping him as he brought a hand to his face, "Don't tell me I've poured it all over myself again."

It had taken Fulcrum longer than usual to unstick his glossa from the roof of his mouth as he watched Misfire run a thumb over his lips, but eventually he had coughed out a small, choked, "No."

That had earned him an odd look at first, but with their fields loose and open, Fulcrum could almost feel the exact moment something clicked in Misfire's mind, as the idle comfortable static he projected in pulsing waves evened out into something openly curious and almost subdued.

It wasn't often Fulcrum felt him that clearly.

Misfire tended to keep his field fairly close, though, maybe not as close as the others did, what with how Crankcase kept an iron grip on his, and how Krok's always held an air of strained control, even when it slipped from him. But still, Misfire's was always hard to read, no matter the reach or depth of his field.

Even then and there, with it loose and unfiltered and buzzing with the engex running through his system, there was an ever present undertone of something indescribably jumbled about him, like too many feelings at once, each too vast and hurried for Fulcrum to really feel or understand.

It always seemed to stir the passive anxiety Fulcrum must've been forged with when Misfire's field brushed against his own. As facing the indescribable vague mess of Misfire felt like trying to untangle a pile of live-wires he couldn't even see.

It was almost frustrating in a sense, the need to try and sort and understand what wasn't even his to begin with. But at the same time it was almost exciting as well. It was like a game, like a puzzle he had yet to solve.

-

-

Finally letting his own can go tumbling to the floor to join Misfire's, Fulcrum had brought a hand to cover his face as he drew his legs up and leaned back against the arm of the couch, trying to suppress the fit as the sly look slipped from Misfire's face at the sounds.

While Fulcrum had laughed, and… snorted, embarrassingly, he had felt Misfire's field change again, brushing something fizzy and almost warm against his plating as Misfire's features softened.

"I'm looking at you," Fulcrum had said then between gulps of air, letting his hand fall from his face as he reached out to poke at Misfire's chest, "Dumbaft."

His finger had lingered over the thick plating there for maybe a little longer than necessary, drawing Misfire's attention as it slid down a little before pulling away.

Looking back up again with his helm angled slightly, Misfire had followed the sight of his hand leaving his plating to where Fulcrum let it fall between them.

"Wow…" Misfire had chuckled a little dryly, "I was gonna make it real easy for you. I was going to say something like, ''Do you like what you see?'' or-… or something like that. But now you've ruined it. Good job."

Meeting Fulcrum's optics again as he pulled his own hand back from Fulcrum's shoulder, he brought it to rest between them as well.

"And you're laughing at me," He said next, faking a small pout as his hand drifted closer to Fulcrum's, "Which totally ruins the whole vibe I was going for really. I mean, it's sort of hard to be all nice and suave-like when you're being laughed at. Total vibe killer. Bit of an ego killer too if I'm being honest. So thanks for that loser, thanks for saying I have a funny face."

With Misfire's fingers brushing distractingly past his own, Fulcrum didn't think before the words stumbled out of him.

"I like your face."

It came out almost matter of fact sounding, Fulcrum's laughter having died down while Misfire complained about it. But at the same time the words felt so simple, they came out so easily, and in a weird way they felt nice to say. But Misfire's optics had widened in surprise, his frame frozen and his field suddenly struck quiet, and despite the engex numbing his usual nerves, Fulcrum felt a sudden pang of anxiety because of it.

The silence in Misfire's field was terribly alien. It felt wrong, and something in Fulcrum spiraled to think he had caused it. But slowly, almost as if it were creeping forward, an odd almost scrutinizing uncertainty fanned outward in a careful wave. Misfire moved with it, leaning closer as he searched Fulcrum's expression for something.

"Oh yeah?" He'd said lowly then, and that sly look returned. But that vague uncertainty didn't fade with it, if anything, Fulcrum felt it strengthen. Caught between what he saw, in Misfire's easy smile and dimmed optics, and what he felt, in the growing hollow distance within their fields, Fulcrum found himself frowning and pulling back.

-

-

Growing frustrated with himself, and wanting that feeling back, he had pushed forward, shifting onto his knees as he reached for Misfire's face before the other could pull away from him entirely.

"I like your face." He said firmly, maybe too firmly. His expression still drawn into a frown as he pressed his fingers into Misfire's helm, brushing his thumbs across the silver mesh he'd been staring so intently at before. "I like your optics, and your nose. I- I like the way you smile. When you really smile, and when you laugh. I do. I'm not lying."

And oh there it was again, that little curl of warmth in Misfire's field. Almost a tangible thing, like a brush of ventilation, but Misfire wasn't venting. His mouth hung open ever so slightly, but no breath left him as he stared at Fulcrum with widening optics.

Spurred on by that tiny bloom of warmth, Fulcrum chased after it with slightly slurred words and clumsy hands as he tried to fix whatever he'd done wrong, hoping with each word that Misfire might soften and smile again.

"I like your expressions, and- and I like your voice," He said, glancing down at Misfire's parted lips, and laughing softly, nervously, as he continued, "Even when you say something so stupid. I like- I like the way it sounds. I like your accent, I like the way it makes your words sound. I- I like your- your mouth?"

Once more that weird but nice feeling settled in Fulcrum's chest. Those simple words felt good to say. It felt like a weight off his shoulders, like an admission he'd been waiting to say. About what and why? He wasn't really sure. But the warmth grew, and Misfire took a sharp vent inwards, and that felt right, so Fulcrum kept on.

"I like your helm," He said with a smile, reaching up to brush his fingers over the jutting finials there, before dropping his hands to settle lightly over Misfire's chest. "I like your frame, the colors of it. I like your-"

Before he could finish, Misfire was surging forward, knocking their helms together and nearly bruising the mesh of their noses as he tried for, and just barely missed, Fulcrum's lips.

-

👁👁👍

[longagoitwastuesday]

Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something

[buttercup-art]

hey

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[yellowlaboratory]

omg you’re active! how are you girly? how has life been treating you?

LMAO hello!!! I'm doing okay!!! certain things in my life are going really really well and I'm very grateful for that but it's at odds with the overall existential dread I feel about the state of .... everything else. so. there's that!!!!!!!!!

I've clearly been around a little less (lol) just because of the sheer amount of stuff going on in my life but every once in a while the hyper fixation bug is poking its head out. I haven't sat down and written in a minute and I feel like there's a missing piece of me. here's to hoping that 2025 has a television show waiting for us that is so jaw droppingly good I'm back to bugging your dashboard everyday 🫶🫶🫶

how are you doing???? are we all hanging in there???

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i could draw anything but i decided to draw this. carlo and rocco in 1932 aka my headache

[keeps-ache]

i need to walk into a field and just sit for for a while.. maybe forever hbfsh...