#but i've already done monkey

[graunblida]

spent the morning getting halloween decorations and agonizing over what costume i'm doing this year, will try to hop on after work tonight. perhaps.

[johnbly]

nothing like a mild inconvenience to inform you that you may not be as mentally stable as you thought

[irlactualhuman]

Compliment them. That person you think has their shit together and wouldn't need it or want to hear it. They do. They absolutely do. Their shit is dispersed. I promise you. It is a shambles.

I've had someone tell me to my face that they would compliment me, but for the fact that I already know this or that about myself. Huh???? No. Sorry.

No I don't. In my weaker moments I become an ungrateful mud monkey that has never once internalized a compliment

I adore being told you like me or something I've done. It sustains me, and in my weaker moments when I forget that life is good and happy, you might catch me before I fall.

You ever had someone catch you like that? You can do it too. The ones that catch you have been you in that moment before and know they will be again.

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Help me! I'm hypnotized...

The loser roommate I got stuck with did something to my brain. I didn't think it was possible, but that pathetic fag somehow put me in a trance. I don't remember how: with a pendant or spiral; but it doesn't matter! What matters is that at any second he can say a trigger word, and I end up like this: smiling and flexing like a fucking idiot 'till he releases me.

Sure, I look like I'm alright, but I've been stuck in this pose for two hours. My biceps ache and my shoulders are on fire. Add to that a leg cramp that I cant walk off and you'll realize how awful this torture is.

I'd just been trying to finish an essay (his essay to be exact.) I might be on the football team, but this lazy geek is forcing me to do his homework for him! And even though he ordered me to do that, against my will, he calls me up and says my fucking trigger word! It's fucking ridiculous! I used to go out and party with my teammates on nights like this, but now I'm stuck being this dweeb's mannequin-on-command.

I just know he's going to boss me around when he finally gets here. He'll probably make me cook him dinner again. I'd spit in it if I could -hell, I'd probably poison it if I could- but I know I'll be stuck in my own body again. I hate it when he tells me to smile and serve him like a waiter. God, its humiliating...

He makes me workout during my free time, which I have a lot of now that I can't speak to any of my old buddies. I gotta say that my body's never looked better. I guess their is one upside to being under his control: whenever he tells me to train harder, I have to do it.

The gym is the one area of my life where I can at least pretend that I'm not someone's trained monkey. Still, the fact that I can't even shower without his permission is a pretty harsh reminder. Whenever I get back from a workout, my legs march straight to the table where I sit, flex, and smile while I wait for him to tell me what to do. It doesn't matter how tired or hot I am. Sometimes, he doesn't even let me shower. He just tells me to mop the sweat up with my shirt and then put it back on.

I think the nerd has a thing for sweaty jocks or something. The thought of this creep making me do all this to get his little dick hard pisses me off more than anything...

I applied for a job today. It wasn't because I wanted to. My roommate decided that he wants more spending money, so he turned to me and said that I was going to earn it for him. So it wasn't enough for me to be his personal chef, maid, and eye candy! I have to be his fucking ATM now too?!

The tie wasn't my idea either. He told me to go buy some fancy clothes to make sure I impressed my "future employer." He's such a dweeb, and now he's making me dress like a loser too.

Obviously I nailed the interview. It wasn't hard when he programmed me to say things like "I've always wanted to deliver pizzas," or "I want to be the best employee you've ever had!" He made me sound like such a kiss-ass for a stupid minimum-wage job. Even the guy interviewing me thought I was being a bit excessive! I got hired on the spot, and I'm already scheduled every night this week, because my roommate specifically made me ask for as many hours as possible.

Now that I'm done with probably the most humiliating thing I've ever done, I'm stuck flexing with a tie on 'till that asshole gets home...

I got my first paycheck after a long couple of weeks doing his classwork during the day and delivering pizzas at night. My roommate texted and told me to wait by the front door with my paycheck. Apparently, he's going out tonight with some of his loser friends and wants the cash now. I can't believe I'm about to hand it over to him.

"Hey, handsome," he calls, shutting his car door.

"I'm glad your home, sir. How was your day?"

I do not give a shit about his day! He ordered me to say that whenever he gets back. He's also programmed me to get up and hug him like I'm a fucking queer in love!

"Better now," he purrs, squeezing my butt cheek while we hug, "You should come with me and my friends tonight."

The last thing I want to do is be around him and his pansy-assed friends. "Yes, sir," I smile.

"We're going to a gay bar, and I think you would be an excellent wingman."

My stomach drops at the sound of a gay bar. I don't want to be anywhere near that place, and I really don't want the guy with total control over me parading me around that place like I'm his fucking slut! Where is this going? He wouldn't make me do anything gay, right? The terrifying truth is he could. He could order me to act like a stripper there, or...or worse. Fuck! I don't think there's anything he couldn't make me do. He could order me on my knees right now, and I'd do it with this stupid smile still plastered across my face. He could make me blow his tiny cock, and I'd be helpless to do anything other than enthusiastically suck! I don't want to go to that gay bar. I have to escape.

"Yes, sir," I hear my voice gleefully ring out.

[kbspangler]

This is the public statement from @alepresser and myself which went up at Webtoons tonight.

Now for some ranting. Just from me, not from Ale—she's innocent of the art crimes I've committed in the past, and boy howdy have I committed art crimes.

This is the first page of my first webcomic, A Girl and Her Fed. I started this thing back in 2006. (I don't actually need a head count of those reading this who weren't yet born in 2006. I'm sure you're delightful and I wish you well in college.)

And this is the last page I drew in early 2020 before I turned art duties over to Dr. Beer. It's better, right?

Well, these days, A Girl and Her Fed has pages like this:

I drew this comic for fourteen fucking years because it's a story I wanted to tell, and I thought webcomics were the perfect format for it. I didn't know how to draw. I got better through sheer obstinate perseverance and sticking to deadlines as best I could for, again, fourteen fucking years. I sought out a replacement artist when I ran into time constraints and couldn't do art plus writing anymore; I'm a much better writer than an artist, so I had no problems whatsoever kicking art to the curb.

The first time Ale sent me art that would go up on the website—art I hadn't needed to draw myself—I literally cried in relief because I had been grinding myself down for, yet again, fourteen fucking years.

So when I read comments from people who say they want to make a webcomic but can't draw themselves and therefore need to resort to AI, that little line between my eyes gets dangerously deep.

This isn't like I'm some old dude who's bitching over student loans getting cancelled after making regular payments. This is me, someone who threw raw art onto the internet like a monkey hurling fresh poo, because I wanted to make a webcomic and the art is part of the process of storytelling via webcomics! I could've (arguably should've) hired an artist right out of the gate, and that would've been part of the process of making comics, too: a partnership between an artist and a writer is also something which grows and develops over time.

For example, after Dr. Beer and I spent two years working on AGAHF, we decided we enjoyed our partnership so much that we set out to make another webcomic! It's great! It's got wonderful art and consistent storytelling! You should read it!

But turning art duties over to unaltered images generated by AI because you want to make a webcomic but "just can't draw" is, frankly, a bullshit excuse. I'm not talking about persons who are physically unable to draw due to disability—I'm talking about people who say they want to make webcomics but simply don't wanna do the art part.

Friends, if you don't want to show your entire ass in front of God and country, you don't actually want to make a webcomic.

Do the thing yourself.

If you're scared, don't be. Take the plunge. Set a goal of twenty strips and do the thing yourself. If you can already draw but can't write? Great! Write twenty strips, write forty panels, etc. You might surprise yourself. If you can write but can't draw? Great! Draw twenty panels and see what happens.

Whatever comes out of it, it's a thing you've done yourself. It's something new you've given to the world, no matter how big or small. Be proud of that. And if you need to partner with someone else to make your comic dreams work? You can do that, too! It's still a thing you've done yourself, and many projects are stronger when done together.

...but maaaaaaaaaybe hire that partner before you've busted your own ass for fourteen fucking years. That one's on me.

[psfortune]

jolie amoureuse

pairing: lovesick!taehyung x female!reader

@ what was leah listening to: i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys

⋆ summary: taehyung has been crushing on you ever since you joined the school, the day he gathers the courage to ask you out is more memorable than anything else...

⋆ warnings . 18+ mdni, rough sex, fluff, dom!taehyung , hes whipppeddd for you, , oral ( f receiving ), p in v , taehyung is popular and so are you.

༉‧₊˚.this work is pure fiction. no acts performed in this are linked to the charecters that partake in the story line. please refrain from reading if uncomfortable ༉‧₊˚.

To Taehyung you were his world. The sun and his moon. The girl that he could not keep out of his head.

You however seemed to get on well enough without him. As soon as you arrived at the school you were the center of attention. An angel in everyone's eyes

A goddess in Taehyung's.

He marveled at you, from your silky long hair to your perfectly sculpted body. Ever since you walked into his English class he knew you were the one.

He's never had anyone after that. No girlfriends or even one-night stands. His eyes were for only you.

You however had your fair share of boyfriends. And whenever you had a new relationship Taehyung would watch from the side a scowl on his face at every laugh they had emitted from you.

Only his closest friends knew about his little crush. He didn't want you to find out from a rumor.

' Taehyung? ' your angelic voice broke through his thoughts and his gaze flicked up to you and he smiled.

' Yes? ' he said softly.

'Er...were you not paying attention? We're partners for the project. Mr Lee just read the list '

' Oh...Right, yes. Uh, you can sit down? ' he was flustered as hell

You sat down and turned to look at him.

' So... ' the tension was so thick you could cut through it.

' Do- Do you want to come over to mine to do the project? '

You smiled weakly.

' Sure '

His mouth was on you, licking, sucking. Leaving you a moaning mess. You hands were in his hair tangled up in it.

' t-tae i want you... '

He smirked and pressed your body to his sliding slowly in.

You were tight, suffocating his cock.

He sped up, groaning

' T-taehyung ! Slow down, please....'

How had it come to this? Kissing, words of affection and now....your mind was clouded and so was taehyungs. He slid in and out of you groaning as you tightened around him.

' Shit...I can't baby, look at you hm? going to pieces on my cock, you really are a cockslut aren't you doll? How many boyfriends have you had since you came to the school huh? ' he mocks pretending to count on his fingers.

' Did any of them treat you like this? Did they fuck you like this? Better even? ' he muttered.

' n-no t-tae ' you whine

'what was that? ' he said pulling your leg over his shoulder making you scream

' NO !! n-no one like you !!! ' you choked out.

' good girl.....do you know how long I've been waiting for this? ' he whispered in your ear.

You shake your head vigorously and pull his sleeve ' t-tae '

He ignored you ' Months. I haven't fucked any one while you've been whoring around. dancing out of multiple boys beds. But now your mine. Only mine '

' t-tae t-tae please.. ' you begged.

' hm? oh doll do you want to come? ' he chuckled ' already? '

You moan as he tugs your hardened nipples

' no. ' he denies you making you whine. ' be patient doll '

You stare at him and watch his eyebrows knit together, focused on your body.

You grasp his cheeks and press your lips to his, kissing him hard.

He smirks and kisses you back, going faster as he does

' Open your eyes doll ' he whispers into the kiss

' please let me come tae please '

' come. ' he said

You threw back your head and groaned as you rode out your orgasm.

You kissed him on the cheek ' i love you tae ' and tried to pull the covers over you and he laughed at you

' Do you really think we're done? There's still a long way to go doll '

© psfortune . . . . 2024 no stealing !!!

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

MC being a morally grey, protective, menace, and the demon bros being Demons (Pt. 2)

WARNING: GRAPHIC, BLOODY SCENES AHEAD.

This is an idea that's been rattling about in my little monkey brain for about a month and I've finally written it down.

BE WARNED, this is NOT the fluffy kinda fluff people, proceed with caution!

Part 1 is less bloody.

Beel was late to dinner. That was the first and only clue anyone should have needed to know that something was very, very wrong.

Add to that a missing MC who won't answer their DDD, and the House of Lamentation is in uproar, raising hell to find out what the hell a hungry Beel and a magically overpowered human have gotten into without adult supervision.

Lucifer had already alerted Purgatory Hall and the Demon Lord's Castle to be on the lookout, and was in the middle of organising a search party, when the front door was shoved open, and a blood-soaked Beel walked through.

His mouth and chin are dripping in demon's blood, so dark it's almost black, and at his side, with a comforting hand on the massive, overwhelmingly terrifying demon's arm, is MC, that same blood staining their hands.

"Brush your teeth, honey. You'll wanna get the taste out from between your teeth before dinner." MC was saying comfortingly as Beel quietly nodded, sheepishly shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Excuse me, what in the nine-circles of inferno happened to you two?!" Lucifer practically squawked, stopping them in the entryway. "MC, are you hurt?"

The human looked at him with an arched brow, as though it were Lucifer who was acting out of character. They pushed Beel toward the stairs to get cleaned up. "Some asshole picked a fight with Beel after practise. He won't be doing it again."

Lucifer's eyes snapped to his younger brother, but it's Asmo who gasps in horror. "Beel! Did you eat someone?! Again?!"

"He didn't." MC replied, a slow, lopsided grin curling their lips. "He stopped after the first bite, I didn't."

Satan's eyes lit up with Wrath's typical green, making it perfectly clear who'd done the butchering tonight. Still, Lucifer pushed the subject.

"MC, what exactly did you do?" The Avatar of Pride maintains perfectly unreadable expression, even as his human takes on a look which is...far too exciting.

"The bastard insulted the family to get a rise out of Beel, to paint Beel as the glutton with no control. I painted something else instead." MC shrugged, and turned to sashay up the stairs, their steps unrushed and casual. "I'll apologise to the clean-up crew tomorrow."

The second they turned their back, jaws dropped. The back of their shirt was clawed open in three distinctive swipes, revealing matching dried trails of demon's blood.

The human themselves was utterly unharmed, and seemed to walk with a little extra swagger as they disappeared toward the bathroom.

"Satan...find that demon. Or what's left of it."

The Avatar of Wrath left without a word, only to return with news of a rather gruesome scene.

The brothers all took some form of sick pride in their little human, who's protective rage turned half the town red.

[legomonkiefics]

hii! I was wondering if I could request a Wukong x GnReader where the readers sleeping schedule is….uh it’s not the best, that’s for sure! Like the reader just stays up all night doing work so they barely sleep? just how Wukong would try to help or something. Or if the bad sleep schedule thing ain’t getting your creative juices flowing just plain cuddle headcanons would be completely fine! Feel free to ignore this and remember to drink some water and take breaks! ^^

👑🧡 Sleep Aid — Wukong x GN Reader Drabble 🧡👑

Genres: Fluff, Romance || They/them pronouns for reader || No warnings needed

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆˚｡⋆୨👑୧⋆˚｡⋆✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖

Working into the dead of night wasn't unusual for you, it was commonplace if anything. Stuff needed to get done, and the daytime was usually filled with so much commotion, especially with the Monkey Gang you'd been frequently hanging around recently. You sighed a little as you put a page up just to grab another, filling out the next dreadful tasks. There was a small flash of gold outside that caught your attention, until the door opened and a familiar voice called out.

"I'm home! Where'd you go, peachfuzz?" Wukong called out. He usually ran late nights too, his work as a Sage never seeming to end even post-retirement. He walked into your shared space, zipping up to you and hugging you around the shoulders. "There you are!" He said as he pressed his cheek to yours. When he pulled back, he noticed the papers out. "You're still working? It's been hours" he asked with a concerned frown. You rubbed his hair gently as you turned more in your chair to face him better. "Yeah, but it's okay. I'm making progress" you reassured him. Despite the King leaning into your touch, he didn't seem any less worried. "Are you sure, bud? I don't want you pulling another all-nighter". "I'm sure. I'll be alright" you said, and Wukong gave a nervous hum. "Okayyy, but since I'm up I might as well help" he said. Before you could protest, he was already making his way into the kitchen.

When he came back, he had a few supplies in his arms. He draped a comforter around your shoulders, sliding a warm beverage on your desk. A kiss was placed to your temple as he gave you a plate of warm dinner. "Did you pull this out of your hair?" You asked teasingly, Wukong grinning as he pretended to be offended. "Me?! Never! You should know by now that I'm a great cook" he said, pulling up a chair to sit beside you. You chuckled as you replied, "I've seen you burn too much to even pretend that's true". "Hush," Wukong said playfully, his tail batting at you gently.

As the time wore on, Wukong kept you company. He commented on the work, told you stories to keep you entertained, but there was a slight plot behind his actions. He'd also gently rub your sore shoulders, keep the warmth of the blanket tucked around you, and made sure you finished up all your dinner. Only a few moments later, his gentle affectionate gestures coupled with the warmth and a full stomach made you drowsy. The second you began leaning on him more, he gently took the pencil from you and massaged the palm of your hand. "You okay, love?" He asked with a fond smile. You nodded. "Yeah, just-" a yawn escaped you "-can't seem to keep my eyes open". Wukong nodded, gently keeping you in the blanket as he lifted you into his arms. "I think that means it's bedtime, sunbeam". After you nodded and leaned into his embrace, he used his nimbus cloud to carry the both of you to bed. He gently placed you on the mattress, going back out to shut down the home for the night and put up the dishes.

When he came back, he handed you a set of pajamas and let you get dressed as he did the same in another room. When you were both done, he folded out the blanket he gave you across the covers, letting you curl into his arms. He made sure you were comfortably situated before nestling down with you. Every night he was getting you to go to bed a little earlier, secretly planning to adjust your sleep schedule little by little until you could get a regular full night's sleep. For now, he was happy to call tonight a victory as he kissed your forehead and closed his eyes for sleep

[xoluvx]

Billie with 20, please?

Take your time and take care ✨️💐✨️love u ❤️

20. When they pout because you don't give them enough attention, and they just come to you and cling to you like a koala

awee thank you bb take care i hope you love it 💖💖

i've already written one for this # but i’ll write another lil blurb just for uuu... here is the other one

“Oh baby what’s wrong?” You cooed looking at your girlfriend. She was laying next to you in bed. She’d been on her phone a few minutes ago so you wondered if there was something she needed to talk to you about. Especially after she’d sighed deeply demanding your attention.

“I want attention,” she playfully slammed her fist on the mattress scooting closer. Oh she’d made that very clear.

“I’m playing my game,” you held your phone to her so she could see. She knew what you were doing. This was part of your shared nightly routine, but tonight she was feeling extra clingy.

Billie pouted and tugged on the sheets. You glanced at her and you saw her lips forming a frown, her eyes big, brows furrowed.

“Almost done,” you reassured but she was impatient. She wanted to be held and she was going to be held right now. You felt the sheets rustling again. This time she climbed on you, her limbs tangling with yours.

You shifted your body so she could comfortably wrap her arms around your torso. Her legs tangled in yours. She laid her head on your chest, sighing contently.

You held your phone with one hand, the other pushing her hair to the side before rubbing her back.

“So impatient my little spider monkey,” you teased pinching her cheek. Billie laughed at the pet name still snuggled into your body.

She could fall asleep like this.

[eyelessfaces]

tousled, stubbled, tired

miguel o'hara x reader

well basically I've been obsessed with the concept art for miguel so it is heavily inspired by those (x). not my fault he looks so boyfriend

summary: miguel is on the edge of a burn out, and he's the only one not seeing it.

warnings: none too important I think, just miguel being really tired because he works a lot. swearing, one small (and cringe) innuendo.

tags: gn!reader, established relationship, angst, fluff, domestic fluff, hurt/comfort?, nerdy miguel<3

word count: 2.1k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

Miguel hadn’t slept at home in days; you had been fairly accustomed to him leaving in the middle of the night for safety matters in Nueva York and coming back early in the morning, but now that the threat was multiversal and now that he was the leader of the spider society, he didn’t even bother getting to bed in the first place.

He in fact barely even left the spider society; the rare times he did were for missions, and when he came back he didn’t even take the time to catch a break; he always had something to fix, something to build, a new suit to work on, a machine to program, meetings, briefings, then more missions.

You wondered how he still had all that energy and where it came from, and you wondered how he hadn’t burnt out yet. 

Even the small naps he took from time to time – against his will, you had found him passed out on his desk one day, head resting over folded arms, mouth slightly opened, soft snores escaping – couldn't possibly make up for his lack of sleep, and even though his mutation may grant him more stamina and allow him to stay awake longer than the average human being, the dark circles under his eyes were the visual proof of his fatigue, and it was all you needed to try to drag his ass back home so he could get some rest.

You watched from a distance as Miguel was sitting on the floor, a monkey wrench in hand and a screw sitting between his lips. He looked focused, a small crease forming between his eyebrows as he tried to fix his machine – you had no idea what it was for, but you figured it must be important considering the significant amount of time he had already taken trying to fix it. 

Miguel gasped in surprise at your contact, slightly jumping at the sudden feeling of your hands over his shoulders, your unexpected and unannounced presence tearing him out of his developing state of drowsiness.

“Shit you scared me” he grunted softly, grabbing the screw at his mouth before turning to look back at you.

"Sorry" you apologized, bending to leave a kiss at the top of his head, your thumbs rubbing where his suit was peeking out under the baggy clothes he had been wearing for probably way too long. His shoulders muscles were stiff and you felt them tense even more when he turned back to his machine with a small sigh.

You joined him and pushed the hammer and nails out of the way before sitting down next to him. 

"When was the last time you went to the cafeteria for something other than the coffee?" you asked accusingly as you looked down at the empty mug beside him on the floor, your hand resting at the back of his neck, playing with the hair there.

He shrugged, still looking at the open hatch of the machine in front of him. 

“A bagel won’t keep me awake” he muttered, his voice slightly muffled by the object in his mouth as he tightened a bolt, putting his tool back on the floor with a clinking before grabbing another.

“You still need to eat, you won’t get to finish fixing this machine if you die first” you scolded him as your hand left him, looking at him sternly.

He turned to you and let go of his screw before putting a hand at your arm, his tired eyes boring into yours.

“I'll eat, I promise, but I'll do that once I'm done. I’m really close to getting it, I almost have it solved.” he declared, tilting his head towards the machine as his grip around your arm lightly tightened.

You closed your eyes and nodded once before you opened your mouth to talk again, but Miguel had already turned back to work at his machine. You let out a small sigh and grabbed the screw he previously had at his mouth to fiddle with it.

"When was the last time you had a real night of sleep? Because I don't recall seeing you in our bed in what– almost a week at least?"

"Are we playing 21 questions?" he asked sarcastically as he turned to you again, clearly beginning to lose patience. 

You paused and looked away from him, a small sigh leaving your mouth before you looked back in his direction.

"We're playing 'I'm worried about my boyfriend', it's a game where said boyfriend barely takes care of himself and drowns in work and in which everyone around him witnesses his vital needs getting neglected." you said as you didn’t even try to make it sound like a joke, just blatantly showing him how upset you were.

He pinched his lips before his gaze dropped to his lap.

“Miguel” you called. “Take a break. Please. This is a request for now but if you keep on being stubborn this is gonna become an order” you said as you shifted closer to him. 

"I don't wanna fight with you. I really don't" you nodded as you put a hand to his shoulder. 

"And you would lose, because you don't have enough energy to outbid, and it's gonna hurt your ego so it's best for the both of us if you just listen to me" you explained, a smile appearing over your face when he softly chuckled and shook his head. "Okay?" you asked raising your eyebrows, awaiting his response.

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay" he nodded, his half lidded, tired and bloodshot eyes looking up at you. 

"Good" you pinched your lips in a smile as you brushed away the shorter strands of his tousled hair falling over his forehead, before leaving a kiss there.

He tiredly smiled at you when you pulled away, leaning into your touch when your fingers ghosted over the light stubble on his cheeks that had grown over the past few days.

You shrugged. “I like it” 

“I don’t.”

You chuckled at his harsh response, your hand fully resting at his cheek. “Come back home with me and we’ll shave it.” you shrugged. “After a well needed shower” you continued, teasing him as you pinched your nose and faked a wince, making him nudge your side as he huffed out a laugh.

“I know it’s getting critical, I just haven’t had the time for it” he said grunting as he got up from the floor. “Lyla even said 'I don’t have olfactory sensors but I know that you stink'” he mocked as he took a higher voice and imitated the sassy attitude of his AI, making quotation marks with his hands.

You laughed at the a-bit-too-accurate imitation and got up too when he offered you his hand to help you up.

"Come on, let's get you something to eat and go back home"

—

You were already sitting on your bathroom counter, razor in hand when Miguel came out of the shower, towel loosely hanging around his hips. 

“Sure you don’t wanna keep it?” you asked teasingly, pointing at your own face to refer to his five o’clock shadow as he walked up to you.

“No. I don’t wanna look like Peter B” he grumbled as he joined you. You huffed out a laugh and caged him with your legs, bringing him closer to you.

He let his forehead rest against your shoulder, planting his hands at either side of the counter while you brushed his wet and dripping hair back, almost shuddering as you felt the gentle scruff of his stubble against your skin when his face shifted to your neck.

“Alright” 

He tilted his head back up at you, the worn out expression over his face paining you. 

You took a hold of his face and shaved him in silence, and you didn’t blame him for the lack of conversation and clever things to say. He probably had been dealing with a lot of stuff this week, trying his best so things wouldn’t turn out to be catastrophic so he probably wanted it all to be quiet now.  

Following along his sharp and defined jawline, you shaved to the shape of his face, razor gently and thoroughly following each line, careful not to go too fast and slip and cut him. 

“I'm so tired. Working twenty-four seven didn’t give me time to realize it but now it's crushing me” he mumbled, his voice barely louder than a whisper so his movements wouldn't be too harsh and wouldn't make you slip.

“I know. It all comes crashing down one moment or another” you said with an empathetic smile, rubbing your thumb over his left cheek once you were done with that area. He responded with a small hum.

It didn't take too long for you to be over with your task, and you put the razor down by the sink before grabbing the aftershave bottle, squeezing the lotion onto your hands and gently lathering it over his face, appreciating the smell you never realized you were that used to.

"Done. All clean shaven" you declared as he put his hands at either side of your neck, smiling tiredly before slotting his lips against yours.

"Thank you" he softly smiled.

"Come on, let's get you dressed and let's get you to bed" you called as you jumped down from the counter, exiting the bathroom as he followed you to the bedroom.

—

“You know, at this point you could build us quarters at the spider society” you chuckled, rummaging into the closet looking for the same kind of comfortable clothes he had been wearing lately.

“Don’t tempt me, I could make that happen” he declared as he shifted from his sitting position to lay down onto the bed with a grunt. “That’s actually not a bad idea”

You hummed in reflexion. “I could look after you, make sure you’re not doing too much” you shrugged as you turned to him to throw him a pair of clean boxers.

“Forget about what I said. ‘Don’t need you to try to babysit me all the time, I already have Lyla for that” he chuckled as he let the towel down to put on the clothes you were progressively throwing at him.

“Where was she to babysit you these past few days?” you asked as you joined him and crawled onto the bed.

“Had to turn her off. You, I can’t” he teased with a small smirk plastered over his face before putting his shirt on, grunting as you pushed him back down onto the bed.

“Asshole” you playfully hit his chest, leaning down next to him. "Right, you could only turn me on." You stared at the ceiling as you waited for any type of response, a chuckle, a small laugh, a nudge, but nothing came, nothing happened. 

Your look darted to his direction, and you giggled as you watched him trying to hold back a laugh.

"That's a bad joke, for my defense I'm exhausted so it doesn't count" he shook his head, covering his eyes with his hand, desperately grunting.

"Yeah, right" you huffed out a laugh as you let your head rest over his chest. 

The tension quickly diffused, the atmosphere getting calmer and the room getting quieter as you absentmindedly let the tip of your fingers trace patterns over his chest slowly rising and falling.

"Thank you" he softly muttered, breaking the silence, tearing you out of your thoughts.

"What?" you asked, confused, your fingers stopping in their trail. 

"Thank you for dragging me out of there, out of this hole"

You paused and shifted so you could look back at him, propping your elbow next to his face, holding your chin in the palm of your hand.

"Miguel, you know I'll always have your back, right?" you rhetorically asked, your fingertips now tracing his face, all soft from the aftershave.

He nodded as his eyes darted to your face.

"Yeah. I know" he pinched his lips in a soft smile as he looked at you, fighting so his eyes could remain open. 

You mirrored his smile, leaning over so you could leave a kiss at his lips, running your fingers over the side of his face one last time.

“You can rest now. I got you”

He softly hummed before his eyes closed under the weight of the responsibilities weighing on him, a small sigh of relief leaving him as your fingers raked through his hair. 

It didn't take long for you to register he was asleep, his breath slowing down, the steady heaving of his chest and a peaceful expression over his face.

You couldn't bring yourself to move, couldn't bring yourself to leave him.

—

please give me feedback if you liked this, I appreciate every single comment and they motivate me to keep going!!

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[scribblesofagoonerr]

— we brought a puppy home | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

monkey brings a puppy home and its' not completely smooth-sailing

check out the rest of buddy & monkey here: the masterlist

credit to @alotofpockets for her help with some of this and @lvnleah for the idea of this fic!

"Le, please!" You beg and plead with the blonde, who is all but firm on her decision much to your own disappointment.

"No, Monkey!" Leah states, sternly.

"Pretty please?" You still continue to try your luck with her.

"No, Monkey. I've already said it before!" Leah tells you in a stern tone of voice, which your all but used to hearing now.

What is it that you're trying to ask for? A puppy.

You love dogs, well you love all animals, other than pesky chickens of course, but your a huge fan of animals and you'd always had a dream of owning a lot of them.

You have always wanted your own dog, but of course growing up your father was always too selfish to want to spend on his money on booze and drugs, so therefor you never got to own your own dog before.

So here you are trying to convince the ever-stern blonde that you live with to get a dog, but that's easier said than done when shes' very much against the idea of it.

That answer still isn't good enough for you as you pout, "But why not? You've seen Myle, she's cute! Why can't we get our own?" You question, you love walking the little pup that Beth and Viv have, so you desperately want your own now.

"Because I've said no already and I'm not going to change my mind!" Leah repeats her words again, shaking her head in disagreement.

"Yeah, but just think about it..." You wonder off from your thoughts, "You know that Buddy would love a puppy as well!" You add, gesturing to your favourite little buddy who has been peacefully watching cartoons until you'd mentioned her name.

You were somewhat smart to play that at your advantage.

"Puppy, mummy!" Buddy pipes in to the conversation.

You smirk at the blonde mischievously, "See? I told you that Buddy would want one as well, Le!"

"Puppy, Mummy," Buddy repeats, excitedly as her eyes light up in awe, "Puppy!"

"Great, see what you've started now?" Leah murmurs, exhaling a sigh.

"You have to admit that a puppy in the house would be so much fun!" There's a glint of mischief in your eyes as you shrug your shoulders.

You knew exactly what you were doin' getting Buddy involved in this.

The blonde shakes her head again, "No, we're not gettin' a dog and that is final. End off!" She states firmly.

You knew that going behind Leah's back and buying a puppy might've been a bad thing that could definitely land you in trouble, however, you were in puppy heaven right now with your new adorable four-legged friend that was finding itself quite at home

"Leeeah!" You shout through the house, pushing it open carefully with your new little friend in your arms, "Are you home?" You continue to shout aloud.

"What's with all the noise?" Leah walks out into the hallway, mildly concerned about the loud volume of noise and thinking something is wrong straight away until she freezes in her step and narrows her eyes, "Monkey, please for the love of god tell me that isn't what I think it is!" She states, firmly.

You grin sheepishly at her, "Well, uh... What's it look like," You try and make a joke out of it.

You knew she would be mad, but you didn't realise she would be this mad.

Oops?

You swear you could see steam coming from the blondes' ears, "It looks like a puppy, although I know I specifically told you last week we was not gettin' one," She states in a sense of annoyance, "Please tell me that is one you're looking after!"

"Nope, hes' ours!" You beam a wide grin and hold the little guy out to her, "Isn't he cute?" You ask without much care in the world.

"Did my words literally just go in one ear and out of the other?" Leah is in disbelief as she all but refuses to even pet your new four-legged friend.

You continue to grin sheepishly at the blonde, "Uh, sorta. Maybe?" You admit, biting your bottom lip, "Le, meet Tate! Short for Tater-Tot!" You introduce the small pup.

"I... I thought you knew about this," Jordan stammers, her eyes widen in realisation before she looks at you, "Monkey, you told me she knew about this!" She states.

"What? No I didn't know!" Leah states, shaking her head profusely.

"Okay, so maybe I might've bent the truth ever so slightly," You confess, wincing as you await either of their reactions.

"Monkey!" Jordan exclaims in disbelief.

Leah huffs and shakes her head again in disbelief, "I cannot believe you went behind my back about this, Monkey. We're not keepin' it!" She tells you, firmly.

"He has a name, Le!" You pout, gesturing to look at the pup.

"I don't care what his name is, we're not keepin' him!" Leah grumbles.

You frown and fuss the small pup in her arms, "Awh, don't worry little guy. Les' grumpy an all now but she'll come around in no time to love you!" You coo at him, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I don't think so-- How did you even afford to buy him?" Leah questions in confusion, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Money, duh? I saved up!" You admit, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

The blonde clicks her tongue in disapproval, "Unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable!"

"I... I would never have gone along with this and if I knew you didn't agree with it, Le," Jordan explains to her ex-girlfriend.

"Yeah... I know," Leah murmurs in response, "Monkey has a way of convincing people to get her way sometimes." She adds.

Jordan nods slowly and takes a click glance at the time on her phone, "Right, it's almost time to collect Buddy from pre-school-- Do you want me to go and pick her up instead so you can uh, sort out the issues with the puppy and what not?" She offers, your guess is that she is trying to leave the conversation as quick as she can.

"Yes, please. If you don't mind," Leah replies in agreement.

"Wait, no, Jord-- Don't leave me alone with her, she might kill me!" Your eyes widen in realisation.

The minute Jordan leaves, your really gonna be in trouble.

"Good luck, Monkey!" Jordan chuckles, waving her hand in the air as she heads back outside.

"Jord, no, wait, come back..." Your plea falls of deaf ears as you spin back round and take in the angry and annoyed expression that Leah has on her face, "Okay listen, I know you're mad an all about it now, but come on. You have to admit he is kinda cute though!" You insist, trying to hold Tater-Tot up in front of her to try and get her more approachable.

Leah scoffs and shakes her head, "Cute or not, he's goin' back to wherever it is that he came from!" She states, determinedly.

"Sh, Le, he can hear you!" You joke as an attempt to keep the conversation light still, despite how angry the blonde looks with you.

"You completely went against my words-- I told you under no circumstances, were we getting a dog!" Leah exclaims, pointing her finger in your face as she raises her voice, sounding like when she's in captain mode.

"Eh, I know but I thought maybe when you see how cute he is then you might change your mind, no?" You still hold up Tater-Tot in front of her face to get her to ease her sternness.

There's no luck whatsoever.

"No. Seriously, Monkey? I don't have time to take care of a dog and you sure as hell don't either-- Explain to me how an earth you expect to take care of a dog between training, games and not to mention your uni work!" The blonde still continues to stand firm on her decision

"Well, we can make it work! He can be like your emotional support dog!" You try and insist, hopeful to play your cards right with this one.

Leah is soon stumped from her on-going rant, "My what?"

"Emotional support dog," You repeat boldly with confidence, "Like Win at the club but this dog we can actually take home instead! Come on, look how adorable he is. I know things haven't been great with your injury and stuff, but like, Tater-Tot can help that now to cheer you up!" You try and make your point justified, trying to keep Tater-Tot held comfortably in your arms the whole time.

"Let me get this right," Leah pinches the bridge of her nose and chuckles slightly, "Your using my injury as an excuse for us to have a dog?" She questions.

You slowly nod in agreement with her, "Well, uh... Yeah, kinda-- Look, I know you're all mad and stuff now, but give in a few weeks and you'll learn to love Tater-Tot, yeah?" You try and suppress the grin on her face, but to no avail, it doesn't work.

"No, because we're not keeping him, Monkey!" Leah exclaims in disagreement.

You huff and pout at the blonde's words, "I can't take him back though when I've already paid for him!" You insist.

"Then get your money back, I don't care. We're not keeping him!" Leah states, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Come on, Le. Please?" You plead with her.

"Absolutely not, no way!" Leah continues to remain firm on her decision, "I already told you previously, no dog!"

"Seriously, Le? I can't... I don't want to take him back!" You pout at the blonde, in a hope that she will change her mind.

"Too bad. I'm sorry Monkey, but we can't keep him. He has to go back, alright? I'm not changing my mind on this one!" The blonde tells you, firmly as she shakes her head and refuses to give Tater-Tot another look.

"Hi, we're back!" Jordan shouts aloud as she pries open the front door and hesitates to walk inside in case you and Leah are still arguing about the puppy.

"Mummy!" Buddy all but throws herself at Leah's legs as soon as she sees her.

Leah smiles fondly at her little girl, "Hi, Buddy. Did you have fun at pre-school?" She wonders.

"Uh huh, lots' of fun!" Buddy nods enthusiastically.

Jordan hums in agreement and routes around in the 3 year old's backpack that she has in her hands, "Yeah, shes' drawn you a picture for you."

"You have?" Leah questions in faux surprise as Jordan hands over Buddy's latest masterpiece to her, "Wow. I absolutely love it! That is going right on the fridge!" She states determinedly, wrapping her free arm around the 3 year old.

Jordan smiles fondly at the pair of them, "Hows' things with the, you know what?" She wonders, curiously as Buddy pulls away from Leah after a few seconds.

Leah scoffs and shakes her head, "I can't believe she went behind my back about this," Unbeknownst to her, Buddy had decided to wander into the living room and find the new four-legged friend in the house, "I don't want Buddy to see it, because then I know I will--"

"Puppy!" Buddy gasps in excitement, her eyes wide in awe.

"Too late for that," Jordan chuckles.

"Puppy, Mummy!" Buddy repeats, excitedly.

Of course you are so excited to introduce them both, "His names' Tater-Tot, Buddy. How cool is that?" You ask her.

"Cool!" Buddy parrots, crouching down to lie on the floor next to the pup.

Leah exhales a sigh and walks into the living room, "Yeah it is, Bud. You have to be careful, okay? He's very tiny," She explains to the little girl.

"You have to admit that he seems very settled," Jordan chimes in.

Buddy peers up to look at Leah curiously, "Is he ours?" 

"Yes," Your quick to state.

"No," Leah disagrees, glaring at you.

"I wan' him Mummy!" Buddy insists, cuddling up to the four legged animal.

"See? Even Buddy wants him!" You gesture to your favourite little buddy and the pup together.

Leah glares at you, which kindly meant for you to shut up, "Enough, Monkey!" She states, firmly.

Buddy continues to gently cuddle with the puppy beside her, "I 'ove him, Mummy! Can we please keep him?" She questions, hopeful.

You feel like your hearts melting watching the adorableness from them both, "Come on, Le. Look at Buddy's face-- Please?" You beg and plead.

"You know, if you do decide to keep him and all then I can watch him when you're away and I'm sure that your mum wouldn't mind helping out to watch him either..." Jordan chips in, but knows when to shut up after she receives an all-too familiar glare thrown her way, "Yeah, alright, gotcha. I'll stop talkin' about this."

"No, no, I'm sorry. I don't have time to look after a dog, I already have 2 kids to look after," Leah states, shaking her head in disagreement.

"Hey! I'm an adult," You shout aloud in protest.

Leah scoffs and shakes her head, "You still order happy meals at McDonald's just so you can have the toys, you really wanna go there?" She questions.

"They currently have Minions, don't judge me!" You exclaim, shrugging your shoulders.

"Right, so what do you want to do?" Jordan shares a look with her ex-girlfriend, "I have to get on the road soon, but uh, I can hang around for a bit if you need help or what not?" She offers her help, not too sure what to do in this situation.

Leah exhales a sigh and shakes her head, "No, no, don't worry. You head back home. It's fine, we'll take him back tomorrow." She tells her ex.

"No I don' want him to go Mummy!" Buddy whines in protest.

Leah frowns slightly as she looks at Buddy, "I'm sorry Buddy but we can't have a doggie here, but its' okay because you can still see Myle, can't you?" She explains to your favourite little buddy, "And Blu as well at Mama's house." She adds.

"No, no. I don' like you, Mummy!" Buddy is quick to shout aloud, "No, mean Mummy!" She continues to shout.

Leah's heart clenches when she hears them words spill out of her little girls mouth, however, Jordan is able to get a quick handle on it.

"Hey, no, no, that's not nice is it, Buddy?" Jordan tells the 3 year old in a gentle tone of voice, "You don't mean that, you love Mummy, don't you?"

Buddy is more adamant as she shakes her head,"No, no. I don', she mean!" She exclaims, starting to tear up.

"Buddy, I know you're upset but its' not nice to say them sort of things," Jordan tells her little girl.

"Mummy's a meanie!" Buddy continues to cry, not really understanding the true hurt behind her words directed at Leah, "She won' let us keep the puppy! Mean Mummy!"

"Buddy, listen. I know you're upset with mummy about this and that's okay, but when you say words like that, they hurt mummy," Leah kneels in front of her daughter, she knew not to take the words to heart but it was a slight shock to the system to hear this come from the usual little sweetheart and well-behaved little girl that she is, "I know you want to keep the puppy, but it's just not possible, okay? I'm sorry about that."

"Monkey! That will be Wally!" Leah calls out to get your attention from where she is upstairs with Buddy, "Can you get the door?" She shouts aloud.

"Sure, cos' its' not like I weren't busy doin' something else or anything," You huff and pause the current game on your PlayStation before you wander over to the front door and open it to greet the older women, "Hi, Wally!" You greet, somewhat enthusiastically.

"Hey little one, how're you doin'?" Lia gives you a brief hug before she steps inside the house.

"I'm fine," You respond, giving her a faint smile, "Le's upstairs with Buddy so she made me get the door instead!" You explain to her.

"Ah, it's bath time," Lia jokes, hearing the commotion coming from upstairs.

"I'll be downstairs in a minute, Wally!" Leah shouts from upstairs, where she is no doubt being covered in water from Buddy having the time of a her splashing about in the bath.

Well it's better than the tears earlier on that Leah and Jordan both had to work together to calm her down before she got herself completely worked up about it.

"No problem," Lia shouts back upstairs before she turns to look at you, "So, I've brought some things round to make us dinner, I thought I could introduce you to one of the famous dishes in Switzerland." She offers, motioning to the dish in her hands that your yet to notice.

"Fancy," You murmur, wrinkling your nose slightly in disgust as you glance into the pot and don't like what you see at all.

You wish you had already eaten dinner earlier with Buddy, after all.

There's the always an option to order pizza if you get too hungry though-- Oh wait, you spent all your allowance on Tater-Tot.

Damn it.

"Oh my Goodness, who's this little guy?" Your thrown out of your thoughts when you hear Lia gush in awe and set her eyes on your new four-legged friend that had made his way into the kitchen.

"Tater-Tot," You grin as you scoop the fur ball up into your arms, "I brought him."

Lia looks surprised as she leans forwards and pets' Tater-Tots' soft fur, "I didn't know you guys were gettin' a dog, Leah never mentioned it-- Oh you're adorable, aren't you, little guy?" She gushes in awe, falling absolutely smitten for the little guy.

"That's because I didn't know," Leah responds, making her appearance known as she walks into the kitchen not long with Buddy trailing after her, dressed ready for bed in fresh pajamas.

"Auntie Wally!" Buddy squeals in excitement to see the women.

"Hi, Buddy!" Lia smiles and scoops up the 3 year old into her arms, "Oh, I see... And I take it that you're not too happy about it then?" She wonders, looking at her blonde friend.

"Well I can't say I'm too fond about it," Leah explains, shaking her head as she looks at you with a knowing look, "Monkey tricked Jord into getting it so Jord was under the impression that I knew. Apparently, she played us both, didn't you, Menace?" She wonders.

"Well, it worked didn't it?" You respond, shrugging your shoulders.

"Oh dear," Lia pulls a face.

"Look, auntie Wally, puppy!" Buddy is quick to jump in the conversation and shift the attention to your new four-legged-animal.

"I can see that, Buddy," Lia smiles at her, "He's very cute, isn't he?" She asks.

"Uh huh! So cute!" Your favourite little Buddy agrees, nodding her head in a fast motion.

You can't help but scoff in annoyance, "Yeah and meanie Malfoy is makin' me return him tomorrow! I mean its' cruel, right? Look at his little face!" You insist, pouting as you hold Tater-Tot up in front of Leahs' face to try and get her to cave in.

Leah shakes her head in disagreement, "It's not cruel when I told you we wasn't getting a dog in the first place!" She states, firmly.

"He is very cute, but I suppose Leah is right to say that when she told you no to the dog in the first place, no?" Lia can understand where her friend is coming from and tries to be the peace-keeper in the middle of things.

"It's totally unfair though!" You huff in annoyance before you do no more than start to stomp off upstairs to your bedroom with Tater-Tot in your arms still, showing how completely mature you are taking this situation.

"Wait for me, I got little legs-- Down please!" Buddy whines, starting to wriggle in the woman's arms, "I wan' go find 'Tater-Tot!" She insists.

"Go ahead little one," Lia chuckles and places Buddy down on the floor, who wastes no time in catching up to you and Tater-Tot before you help her climb up the stairs.

"Leave her to sulk about it," Leah tuts and shakes her head, watching carefully as Buddy climbs up the stairs with her help, "I'm not changing my mind on this. We're not keeping that dog." She states, firmly as she sticks her ground.

"Okay," Lia chuckles, agreeing with her friend.

"We're not, tomorrow morning, hes' going back to wherever it is that he came from," Leah tells the older woman.

"Okay," Lia repeats as she gets on with the cooking.

"You think I'm gonna change my mind, don't you?" Leah raises her eyebrow, curious to know her friends thoughts.

"I mean, would it really hurt to have the company round here?" Lia glances at the blonde as she makes her way round the kitchen and grabs a chopping board of the side, "It already looks like Buddy and Monkey both love him a lot, it looks like they're inseparable."

"We're never in, it wouldn't be fair on him, would it?" Leah states, shaking her head in disagreement.

"When would that be a problem? You can take him to the training grounds, there's ways around these things," Lia points out.

"Oh, and what about international camps?" Leah questions, passing Lia a kitchen knife that she needs, "Or pre-seasons in another country?" She wonders.

Lia gratefully accepts the knife and gives the blonde a knowing smile, "I'm sure your mum wouldn't mind looking after him if you asked her." She answers.

"It's not happening, we're not keeping the dog," Leah stands firm once again, repeating her words.

"Looks like the living room is safe from the puppy," Lia jokes, walking into the spacious living room to find the small pup fast asleep on the rug.

It's a bit later on in the evening, Buddy is upstairs fast asleep in bed and you are just in a general teenage sulk still about things upstairs, but somehow the small pup was able to climb off the bed and make his way down the stairs.

"He's spark out," Leah murmurs, letting out a small laugh, "Don't get too comfortable here, Buddy. Its' just for tonight and then tomorrow, you're goin' back to your old home." She states, determinedly.

Lia chuckles and shakes her head before she settles down on the sofa beside the blonde, "Sure you won't change your mind?" She jokes, giving her a knowing smirk.

Leah huffs and shakes her head, "Nope, I'm still not changing my mind. We're not keeping him," She states, reaching for the TV remote that's on the coffee table in front of her, "I'm not." She repeats.

"Okay," Lia chuckles, holding her hands up in mock surrender.

"I'm not," Leah repeats, not sure who she's trying to convince more, herself or her friend, "It's just not a practical situation, is it?" She adds.

"Okay," Lia repeats, trying to stifle her laughter, "What're we watchin' then?" She wonders.

"I don't know, anythin' will do though, won't it?" Leah answers, scrolling through the various channels, "I'll take anythin' other than another Shrek movie or Blues Clues, right now." She jokes, giving a subtle nod to your favourite movie and Buddys' favourite TV show.

"True," Lia chuckles in agreement.

Leah can't help but glance at the new four-legged-friend asleep on the rug in front of them.

It wouldn't practical to have a dog when she has her career, but at the same time, it might be good to have a distraction

Her opinion is even more swayed when the little pup yawns and wakes up, whining slightly as he makes his way over to the sofa and sits waiting to be picked up.

"Looks like he wants to make friends with you, eh?" Lia motions to the small pup, who is sat in front of the sofa as he whines quietly.

"Maybe hes' hungry?" Leah wonders, confused.

"No, hes' already been fed," Lia reminds her, motioning to the bowl of food that you had fed him before going back upstairs to sulk. Doing no more, she leans down and picks Tater-Tot up off the floor, "Hello little guy, are you feeling jealous down there on the floor, huh?" She speaks softly to the little pup.

The pup did no more than paw his way over to Leah and make himself comfortable on her lap, settling down and falling back to sleep.

"Seriously?" Leah groans, glancing down at the puppy.

"Oh, would you look at that. I think he likes you," Lia jokes, smiling at her friend.

"Well that's just great," Leah huffs and shakes her head.

"Don't be such a meany, hes' comfortable, clearly!" Lia chuckles, stroking the pups' fur.

Leah hums quietly, "Just as long as he doesn't eat any of my shoes tonight, we'll stay friends," The blonde remarks, pursing her lips as she reluctantly strokes the pups' fur.

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Lia chuckles in amusement.

"I suppose he is pretty cute," Leah breaks the silence after a few minutes, "And I guess he does seem pretty content on my lap." She adds.

Lia hums in agreement, "Happiest little guy in the world."

"And you have to admit that he does seem to fit in around here, and the kids' do seem happier with him around," Leah continues to state, biting her bottom lip.

"That they do," Lia nods in agreement.

"Yeah," Leah pauses for a few minutes, "But I refuse to call him that ridiculous name though."

"Oh?" Lia glances at her friend with a knowing look, "That sounds like something you would say if you are planning to keep him around," She states.

"I guess we could make it work," Leah states quietly, refusing to look at her friend, who's smirking to herself, "Like you said, we can make it work with the games and I'm sure that family and friends would be more than willing to take care of him if and when needed, huh?" She wonders.

"If I didn't know any better then I'd say it sounds like you had a change of heart there," Lia states amusedly, "Leah Williamson, are you having second thoughts?" She mocks a fake gasp.

"Shut up," Leah playfully nudges her best friend and rolls her eyes, "He's cute, I suppose... And maybe I was a bit too quick to jump and disagree, also this way it'll give Monkey some responsibility as well," She notes.

"You don't need to give them excuses to me. You can just admit that you like having him stick around, you know?" The older woman jokes with the blonde.

"Just as long as there's an agreement that he stays away from anything of mine that is, well, expensive," Leah chuckles, stroking Tater-Tot.

Lia laughs and shakes her head, "I'm sure it will be fine."

"And I'm still not happy that Monkey went behind my back and did this, the little menace," The blonde remarks, reminding the Swiss women about it.

"I know, so much not for changing your mind then, eh?" Lia nudges her friend playfully.

"This dog seems to like me," Leah remarks, shrugging her shoulders as she takes a quick glance down at the pup in her lap.

"I'd say you've found yourself a new best friend there," Lia chuckles, watching Leah and Tater-Tot beside her.

Given another hour or so, you had reluctantly given up your sulking and now you felt hungry again, given that you willingly skipped out on Lia's Switzerland dish, much to your absolute dismay.

"I'm hungry," You make your presence known as you wander into the living room, the small pup on the blondes' lap not even blinking an eye at you.

Leah turns her attention to you hovering in the living room doorway, "Oh, finally decided to come out of your room, have we?" She wonders, teasingly.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes and slump down on the arm of sofa, "I was annoyed with you," You mumble, quietly.

Leah snorts in response, "I never would have guessed that."

"Yeah, well, you deserve it," You continue to insist, shrugging your shoulders.

"Right, okay then,"Leah rolls her eyes and shakes her head, "We'll need to go shopping tomorrow then," She adds, trying to not give it away so easily.

"Food shopping, sounds like an absolute blast," You absolutely detest food shopping, its' the complete bane of your life.

Leah snickers a bit, "Well, we do need to re-stock the cupboards but we'll also need to visit the pet shop," She states, waiting for you to catch on.

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, "Why do we need to a visit the pet shop-- Wait, are you serious?!" You finally realise as your eyes widen.

"On the terms and conditions--" Leah begins to speak.

"Seriously?! Yeah?" Your way too hyper and excited about this to care what she is saying as it goes in one ear and out the other.

"Hey, listen, this is serious! On the terms and conditions," Leah repeats aloud to get your attention, "On the terms and conditions that you look after him, remember to feed him and give him water, and also walk him as well, and the big one, make sure that he doesn't ruin anything that belongs to me!" She states, sternly as she points her finger in your direction.

"Okay," You nod, awaiting anything further.

"But to answer your question, yes, you can keep him!" Leah tells you, smiling at you.

Your eyes light up in glee and you want to scream, and you would if it wasn't for Buddy being fast asleep upstairs, "Yeah? You're the best, thank you, thank you, thank you! I didn't mean it about calling you meanie Malfoy, ah thank you, thank you!" You can't help but thank her over and over again.

"I'm still not happy with how you went behind my back about this, but I suppose that this little fella will fit in nicely around here," Leah remarks, glancing at the small pup, who surprisingly still hasn't moved from her lap even with all the noise.

You can't help but beam a wide smile, "I knew you would change your mind eventually!"

"What can I say? This little fella wormed his way into my heart," Leah states, shrugging her shoulders.

"Welcome home, Tater-Tot!" You grin at the small pup, whos' comfy enough to still curl up in the blondes' lap and snooze away.

"God, no. Absolutely not, I refuse to call him that ridiculous name!" Leah is quick to insist as she shakes her head for her clear detest of the name, "Welcome home... Tate," She corrects herself, still weary about the name overall.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[ceesimz]

Leave Before The Lights Come On

Title is a Arctic Monkeys song! This trope has been done more times than I've blinked my whole life but this is my version, enjoy :) (ps it's not long but it's a lil bit spicy and slightly ridiculous)

Award shows, charity events, dinners with red carpets. It's how things started months ago, and it's still how the story goes now.

Everyone knew what private but not secret meant nowadays, it seemed to be the go-to for basically all couples. Yet, very few understood the thrill of private and secret.

Every night spent at these things was a new performance for you both, dancing around each other with fleeting glances and lingering, teasing touches. A chance to start fresh over and over, something most couples never endeavour in anymore, but it's so addicting. A game of cat and mouse that always ends in the same way, and despite that fact, it's still intoxicating all the same.

"One beer please."

"Just a beer'll do."

You know who is next to you, there's no use guessing. It always starts like this. And when she slithers closer, elbows rested on the bar that she's slumped over compared to you standing with perfect posture and hands clasped around your own arms that crossed over your chest, the cuff links of her suit sleeves glimmer in your eye line. Her hands purposely move to fiddle with them, knowing your attention is on her hands and the rings that are scattered across her fingers. She knows you too well, knows your eyes unintentionally fall to that part of her whenever they're on display, and it causes the first simmer of something to bubble in your abdomen.

At once, the bartender places the beer bottles down in front of you both, each reaching out to grab it and turning to the other. With eyes holding the other's gaze, you and Leah take a swig of your drinks, a silent agreement that the night has begun.

To your dismay though, the scales have already tipped in Leah's favour as she gets the first laugh. She takes another sip of her beer, first moving her eyes from your face to the way your hands make the bottle look bigger than it is as you hold it with both, rather than Leah who holds it with just one. Then, she trails her eyes downwards and up again, smirking smugly at you before walking away, not without a brush against your shoulder.

You shake your head just as the host announces the event will begin in ten minutes and advises everyone to find their seats. Working with one of the most well-known magazines got you great seats surrounded by good people to network with, and though if your manager found out she'd probably retract all future invites, you couldn't care less about networking. Not when you were stuck in the most mind-numbing game of back and forth, push and pull, take and give. You could be seated beside some random Tom, Dick or Harry from a no-name town in England, or you could be sat beside someone like Serena Williams, and it'd make no difference.

Leah Williamson, your new girlfriend and possibly the most frustrating yet attractive person you'd seen, was in the room. That was enough incentive for all thoughts to fly far from your mind.

The last event you went to was probably the most notable for your relationship. It should have been a pretty important one for you to pay attention to, considering it was hosted by GQ, but how could you when a certain blonde in a scantily clad dress was begging to be your girlfriend all night? She had asked in just about every way possible, and you would have said yes from the first instance if it weren't for her attention being pulled away before you could get a word in.

From whispering it in your ear as she slipped past you during a conversation with some of GQ's most important employees, to handing you a serviette with words written on that still send shivers down your spine when you think back to them, and even meeting your eyes from across the room in your respective seats and mouthing the question 'Mine yet?' with an upward quirk of her eyebrows. If you thought that part of the night was memorable, you didn't want to talk about the visceral reaction you got thinking back to the after events that occurred in the comfort of your hotel room.

But now, here in the present, you found your seat at a table with shareholders and employees and celebrities scattered around it, distinctively uninterested in every single one of them. They try to strike up conversation and you let them, your workaholic autopilot kicking in to entertain their interest for some time. These things are always boring, that's what makes them the perfect environment for this kind of thing. Sure, some were more fun than others and both yourself and Leah had found them enjoyable in the past, but there was an added element to them now that you were quite sure you could never give up.

The host drags on far longer than needed and to you it seems they're rather self-indulgent, revelling in the fact they've got the attention of the room. They talk as if everyone is hanging on the edge of their seats, grasping onto every word they said, when in reality it couldn't be further from the truth. Or at least in your case anyway. Apparently your boredom showed a little too much, because the person beside you asked if you're alright at a lull in the first speech of the evening. You reassure them you are fine, just in need of a drink since your beer had already gone down by now, and with a thanks from yourself they turn back away from you.

Your eyes search the room then, giving in to the temptation of her, only to find blue eyes staring right back at you from a few tables over. Her hair is slicked back into a low bun and she has one too many buttons of her white shirt undone - she's hot and she knows it. You still can't figure out if that's annoying or, unfortunately, attractive. The aura that exudes off of her hits you even from across the room, a combination of confidence and a smugness that gets under your skin in the best way.

It's at this moment that a short intermission is announced, allowing for people to go to the bathroom or fetch a drink and some snacks, or whatever they care to do. All you know is that there's a certain person in the room you've got to see and you need a new beverage, so you head to the bar.

Except, you're stopped in your tracks along the way. A body blocks you from going any further as she side-steps in front of you and shoves a champagne flute into your hand. In her hand is a sweet Manhattan cocktail, one with a cherry in it that immediately catches your eye. This is your chance to equal the score.

Maintaining eye contact with her, you delicately take the cherry and, with the most innocent look you could muster from under your eyelashes, you bite it from the stem. Those same piercing blue eyes track every movement of yours, from the moment you snatched it from her drink to the way your throat bobbed as you swallowed. In the low light, you manage to make out the sight of her pupils tripling in size, and just like that, the cards are in your favour again.

Before Leah can react, you're sauntering away without a word having been exchanged, and you can feel her staring incessantly at you as you drop back into the ocean of people in the room. She curses under her breath, downs her drink, and heads back to the bar.

After that interaction, you actually did fall into an invigorating conversation with the people on your table. You discredited them, in the midst of your tunnel vision you didn't realise who it was you were sat with. Turns out, they're some fascinating people who you could really do with speaking to again soon.

It's as you're talking to one of them, offering to go collect a tray of drinks for the table, that someone leans over you and refills your glass with more champagne. Initially, you guess it's just one of the event workers, but then those damned Arsenal earrings jump into view and your senses are overcome with her perfume. If she asked why there were goosebumps on your arms, you'd shrug and blame it on the chill of the hall. But, your question is, where the fuck did she get a whole bottle of champagne from?

She leaves as quickly as she arrived, leaving only a trace of her signature scent in her wind. You jut your tongue into your cheek momentarily - that was a bold move by the defender. It obviously caught the attention of the people on your table who were feeling as if they may have interrupted perhaps a private moment, but you wave them off and swiftly switch topics.

To their rather inquisitive annoyance, they demand you go get the drinks you'd offered to get since you weren't going to tell them about... whatever had just happened. So you do, you take your champagne flute with you and wander over to the bar with a focused look on your face, waiting for the right time to strike and get your payback.

That happens sooner than you could have guessed, and it forces a smirk upon your face as you approach your prey that's trapped in a seemingly boring conversation, judging by the unimpressed look on her face. She doesn't see you coming, her arms are crossed over her chest and her mouth is down-turned into a frown, another beer bottle in her hand. You see her sigh as you get closer, her head on a swivel but looking in entirely the wrong direction.

The set up is perfect, perfect for you to be able to walk past her straight to the bar with a little taunting. However, you're feeling bolder now, urged on by the alcohol in your system. Instead of a simple brush along her body, your free hand drops down to slide under her blazer and sleaze dangerously low across her toned back. It's a lingering touch, you don't pull your hand away until the very last second. You don't have to look back at her to know she's watching you go.

To both your individual irritation, the next hour or so of the night doesn't allow for anymore sly digs and heated encounters. It's so unbelievably dull, just ramble after ramble of people bragging and kissing each other's ass as they speak. It gets to around forty-five minutes of this bullshit before a spiteful plan forms in your head.

A few of the people on your table had switched seats, ensuring they get the most out of the night. You didn't care for it all, zoning out countless times so far, but when the guy beside you turns to you with a blissfully oblivious smile on his face, you know what you have to do.

The next however long, you converse with this guy more and indulge him in pointless topics that really are so fucking stale and tedious, but you have to play the long game here. And before you'd even done anything half as interesting yet, there's already daggers being forced into the side of your face.

It all comes to a head when you laugh and swat his shoulder in an exaggerated manner, giggling like a school girl at... honestly, you couldn't even remember. But he lavished in your amusement, shuffling his chair ever so slightly closer and throwing an arm around the back of your chair. He brushes his hair back with his other hand, exposing his less than favourable hairline, and really you have to hold back a gag at the fact you're doing this.

At that point, you decide you have to get away from him and his dreary, lifeless, and nonexistent charisma. So you throw one last look at Leah's direction, stifling a grin at her flared nostrils and completely unimpressed demeanour, before excusing yourself from your conversation and sliding out from your seat. Whether Leah had the guts to follow you or not, you weren't sure, but you were just glad you were away from that guy.

Unbeknownst to you, Leah had suddenly gotten up from her chair the second she saw you rise, and she was marching through the room to pace after you. The game was entirely forgotten for her at this point, the image of you with him tattooed on her eyelids. Immaturely, she had to stop herself from spitting at him as she walked past, settling for a warning glare instead.

You have all of two seconds to yourself in the bathroom, checking yourself out in the mirror, before the door slams against the wall with a resounding thud. A gloating smirk is on your face from the moment she walks in, and you stare at her for a moment then turn back to the mirror, pretending to fix your lipstick.

"Really?" Leah shrugged her shoulders more aggressively than you had ever seen anyone before, holding her hands out in an outraged gesture. "You really did that?"

"S'just the game, Leah. You know that." You replied simply, resisting the urge to meet her stare.

It's silent between you both then, possibly the most charged silence you've ever found yourself in. Leah takes a few mindless steps around the room without a particular direction, eyes flicking back to you every second. At once, she stops, just off to your side, and slips her hands into the pockets of her black slacks, kissing her teeth and raising her eyebrows at you. The moment she goes to say something, there's voices coming from the corridor leading to the bathroom. You turn to look at her then, daring her to act first.

She does.

She takes full advantage of the moment, gripping your upper arm tightly and tugging you into one of the cubicles. You gasp quietly in shock, caught off-guard by her actions, and you grumble unintelligibly at the triumphant grin on her face. Her hands are tight on your hips, meanwhile yours are crossed over your chest in disapproval.

"Flirting with a guy? That's a new low." Leah taunted, each stroke of her thumb unintentionally raising the fabric of your black dress.

"Says the one that's so riled up, she dragged me into a toilet cubicle." You hit back, refusing to give in. Leah just shrugs, purses her lips, and takes a quick glance down to your now exposed thigh before looking back at you.

"I'm not riled up. You're the one getting antsy here, you know I'm winning and that's why you had to start feeling up that scraggly arsehole out there. Think again, sweetheart." Fuck, she might have gotten you there.

"Maybe I found him attractive." It's a weak defence, even you know that. Leah knew it too, if the slight raise of one eyebrow was anything to go by.

"Okay. One, you're in a relationship. Two, you're in a lesbian relationship. Three, you hear that?" She looks around in feigned confusion, cupping her hand around her ear briefly before turning back to you in what looks like a stupid, cartoon light bulb moment. "Oh yeah, you're pretty fucking gay!"

You roll your eyes and huff, shaking your head at her idiocy and turning your attention to the wall behind her.

"What was his name? Tell me about him, if he was attractive enough to feel the need to flirt with him." She was picking and choosing every teasing remark from the file in her mind to get under your skin.

"...his name was Dirk." The bark of laughter she lets out at that makes you flinch a little. Maybe his name was a little amusing, but right now to you there wasn't a single funny thing on earth.

"Dirk? Really? Did he come with a Swiss army knife and a granola bar in his pocket? Did he have a flannel shirt under his knit sweater? And a tent in his car, ready for a hike through the Grand Canyon?"

As it turns out, your last thought was a little far off.

The giggle bubbles out of you before you can think to stop it, and you lightly push Leah's face away from you with a hand to her cheek. She turns back to you with a grin, knowing she had won this evening. To be fair, she has won nearly every evening so far. She was on a winning streak you really had no plans of stopping. Not when it got you to this moment here, at the end of it.

"Out of all the guys in the room, I chose a pretty shit one." You surrendered in a murmur, Leah nodding.

"It's alright, look who you get to go home with."

Her voice had dropped to a whisper as she stepped further into your space, her nose nudging against your jaw where her mouth rested just above your pulse point. The shivers you got without even barely being touched were enough of a reaction for her. But, she was greedy when it came to you.

One arm slipped around your waist, holding you to her tightly as her large hand splayed out across your lower back. Her head dipped further down, her lips moving to press open-mouthed kisses to your exposed collarbone.

"Let's get out of here. I'm done now." She murmured into your skin, turning her face more toward your neck and leaving softer, slower pecks there.

"Don't you wanna get your payback? Otherwise you're giving up the win. I was more than ready to get back out there, the night isn't over." You were lying, you were more than ready to get the hell out of here, but you also weren't going to pass up on the chance to tease her just once more.

"I'll get my payback when we get to the hotel."

That's all she needed to say.

These nights had a certain characteristic to them, and that was possibly the most anticipated time of the evening. As the hosts draw out the end of the event, thanking people you've never heard of and have a large lack of care for, you and Leah were already gone.

Normally, it was a fierce wait, hanging on to the other's every move, everything else in the room simply just background noise, as you wait for who blinks first. Who gives in to the tension and ends the night before the lights come up, before the eyes of the room see you chase one another to the exit.

Tonight though, neither of you have the patience.

Regardless of the time you leave, it's the same situation every time for your organised driver; he drops you off and, under strict instruction by his management, waits for you to come back so he can drive you to the hotel or wherever you want to go. Except, you never come, he doesn't see you for the rest of the night once you enter the building. He's used to it by now, a little in love with it since he's getting paid for nothing, he just has to wait for your inevitable apology text telling him you won't be needing a ride home.

Tonight is just like the others - Leah ushers you into the back of an Uber with a hand on your waist, sliding in beside you and slamming the door shut with a smirk on her face after she gives one last glance around. There's never anyone watching, nobody knows where to look and nobody probably even cares, but she does it anyway. She could imagine the articles that might get written about her if the pair of you were ever spotted, and that fuels her even more. Maybe that's the alcohol in her system, but the thoughts run through her veins and she can't help but turn to you, grab your face, and dive into a kiss that's desperate and hot, and the tension of the night reaches its peak.

The cab driver just shakes his head, pulling away from the curb as the pair of you stay stuck in your own world. It's a few minutes later when you both pull away, cheeks flushed red and lips a tad swollen as you put your belts on. Straight away, Leah's hand falls to your lap and you hold it tightly with both of your own, looking up at her with a certain feeling swirling through your eyes that drives her crazy. Her hand moves, then, to the back of your neck as she pushes you towards her for another urgent kiss.

"You're lucky I'm not really the jealous type. I could have done a lot worse in there when you started flirting with Dirk." She comments breathlessly after, a displeased quirk to her mouth that hints she is in fact somewhat jealous.

"I'll make sure to do a better job next time then." You tell her in a feigned nonchalant way.

Leah stared at you then, her hand clutching the back of your neck as she gave you a look that warned you to not even think about such things. To be honest, you couldn't. You were hers just as much as she was yours. There was no other way to live than like that.

[salmon-bagel]

Tf2 mercenaries x Seductress! Class! Reader

Warning: nsfw content, female reader, sexism

Scout

When Scout heard that there's a woman who's a professional at seduction, he had already started plotting.

"Hello, name is Y/n L/n, but you can call me the Seductress. It's nice to meet you."

"Heya, nice to meet cha' mommy- Oh, i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy-"

Constantly hits on you. Scout believes that you're the type of girl that's 'easy', someone who will let anyone bang them regardless of who they are.

That boy isn't going to leave you alone until you let him into your pants.

Even when he's not busy trying to get in between your legs, Scout is asking you for advice on how to woo the ladies. Considering you're a professional at flirting with people.

You go back and forth on giving him good advice and bad advice. Sometimes you feel bad that he can't get a girlfriend. Then again, you think to yourself that no woman should be within three feet of Scout because of how much of a horny asshole he is.

After some time, you did grow to have a soft spot for him. Since he's bullied a lot by the other mercenaries. He can be kinda cute when he's not being a complete jerk.

Soldier

Soldier treats you like the other mercenaries. Ruthlessly bleating in your ear when you're doing something wrong.

"GIVE ME ONE HUNDRED SQUATS NOW! I WANT THAT AMERICAN ASS NICE AND PERKY BY THE TIME YOU'RE DONE!"

He wants the best from you. Regardless of your gender, he'll push you to the limit until he's proud enough to call you a warrior.

Soldier tests that you're a good seductress by making you flirt with him. It's an ego boost on his part, but he's genuinely trying to make sure you're hot enough for the enemy.

"YOU CALL THAT FLIRTING!? I'VE HEARD BETTER FLIRTING FROM A MONKEY! AT LEAST THEY CAN PUCKER THEIR LIPS BETTER UNLIKE YOURS!"

Buys you clothing that he believes would work well when you're seducing the enemies. It's always american themed swimwear or lingerie. You began to believe he's just buying that for himself for you to try.

Whenever the team successfully wins for the day, Soldier immediately rushes towards and smacks your ass as hard as he can.

"NOW THAT IS AN ASS I'M PROUD TO CALL AMERICAN!"

Sniper

Sniper believes your work is very unprofessional. Considering he believes you have to whore yourself out to the enemy team. Instead of using your actual skills.

He says he has nothing against prostitution or sex work in general. Sniper just thinks that stuff you do should be kept behind doors and not on the battlefield. He says it causes too much of a distraction. However, you claim that 'distraction' is the point. Sniper doesn't seem to get it.

You honestly could care less what he thinks. Snipers throws jars of piss for a living, and he really thinks he has the right to judge other people?

The truth is you're good at seducing people. Too good. That it distracts him from doing his own job. Sniper has a tendency to watch you through the scope of his gun.

The way your body gets all hot and sweaty from the terrible heat, oh it does something to him. Sniper has imagined licking your sweat off your tits while you degrade him for being such a filthy fuck.

You are his go-to jerk off material. The women in his porno magazines don't get him off like they used. The only way he can relieve himself now is by imagining your fat ass bouncing on his cock.

When he noticed a pair of your panties in the laundry basket, Sniper couldn't help himself to inhale the sweet scent of your panties before putting them back.

Sniper knows he's a damn hypocrite.

He slut shames you for what you do, only to get off to you afterwards. The post nut clarity consumes him with guilt and shame.

Sniper still hasn't built up the courage to apologize to you.

Heavy

Heavy is one of the very few people who treat you like an actual human being. He was raised by a single mother alongside three sisters. Heavy knows to treat a woman right. Less he wishes to face their fury.

Heavy doesn't understand why you seduce the enemy. You're supposed to shoot at the enemy, not bat your eyelashes and wink! However, after watching your work on the battlefield, he gets to more of an understanding.

"Oh, I see. You lie to enemy and lure them in like fish? HA! Very clever!"

Absolutely loves gunning down the enemy that is distracted by you.

Is one of the few men who genuinely falls for you for your personality. Heavy knows you're drop-dead gorgeous, but he knows that beneath all that beauty is a truly intelligent woman. You earned your place on the team by impressing Mann Co., with your skills instead of batting your eyelashes and begging to be a part of the team. You make his heart swoon like no other woman has.

He likes to write you poetry. It helps convey how he feels for you because he's too bashful to put it into simple words.

Heavy is not afraid of anything. Nothing, not even death itself. However, it took him a lot of courage and constant rehearsal to ask you out on a date.

He hopes to start a genuine relationship with you. Heavy doesn't want a one-night stand or be friends-with-benefits with you. He wants you to be his girlfriend and maybe possibly his wife later down the line.

Engineer

"Well, I'll be! Aren't you the prettiest thing I've ever seen."

Engineer is taken aback by your good looks and sauve personality. He genuinely questions why you wanted to be a mercenary. A beautiful lady like yourself is too of high risk to get hurt!

Will always be there to help you if it gets too much for you to handle.

However, he can be very overprotective over you on the battlefield. Engineer thinks it would be safer for you to stay on the rancho relaxo than getting shot at by the enemy. As much as you'd like to not do anything on the job, Mann Co. isn't paying you to be lazy. They see everything and will tell you to get off your ass and start fighting.

You have to beg Engineer that you can do it on your own. He understands your point of view and begrudgingly lets you fight with the others. Even if it means going against his code of defending and protecting a lady when she needs it.

While putting up dispensers and sentries, he can't help to admire you from afar. Engie believes that a guy like him has no chance with a girl like you. What woman would be interested in a bald man who has a robotic hand and locks himself away in his work? No gal that's who.

Engie fantasizes about working up the courage to flirt with you and ask you out, which would eventually lead to a rather sensual night spent together. He did try to ask you out once but miserably failed. Engie kept stuttering and mispronouncing words out of nervousness while attempting to seduce you. You couldn't make out what he was trying to say. Thankfully, Demo had the heart to pull Engie out of that mess of a conversation and save him from further embarrassing himself.

So now, he just admires you from afar. Dreaming that one day he'll get to win your heart.

Spy

Surprisingly, he wants to get to know you as soon as possible. It's not every day you get to meet a lovely lady.

When he learns of your class type, oh boy, this man will make you question if you're even meant to be the Seductress.

"Mademoiselle, you are the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on."

"Do you know why they call Paris the city of love? Why don't I take you there and show you?"

"If the verb ‘to love’ didn’t exist, I would have invented it upon seeing you."

Spy leaves your entire face red and completely frozen after he's done talking to you. He's so flattering and charismatic. In comparison to the other men, he makes it seem like they're not trying at all. It isn't their fault, though, Spy is a natural at wooing the ladies.

You're surprised when Spy gifts you things that you really like. You never shared these intimate details with him before or with the other mercenaries. When you asked him how he knew what you specifically liked, Spy merely winks at you and grins. He has a way of receiving information without anyone knowing.

He has a tendency to kiss the back of your hand whenever you two are greeting each other. Spy is a gentleman and can't help himself to be sweet to a beautiful woman.

When Spy asks you out on a date, you agree to it because you have been meaning to go out. You felt like you'd go insane if you stayed in the base any longer. You put on your best dress and left with Spy into town.

After having a nice meal and a few glasses of wine, both of you give into temptation. Spy could hardly keep his hands off you when he drove you both back to the base. All your clothes came off the moment you reached his bedroom. You found it a little strange he refused to take off his mask. Oh, what the hell. He's hot and treated you to a nice date.

In the morning, you receive uncomfortable stares from the other mercenaries. Let's just say you and Spy weren't exactly quiet during your lovemaking. Unfortunately for the others, you decided Spy would become your fuck buddy.

Medic

He's been meaning to include a female subject in his experiments- I mean, he's glad to meet you!

You try your best to steer clear of him. However, on the front lines, it isn't so easy. When you're constantly getting shot at and stabbed by enemies, you'll need the Medic's help to get better.

When he sees you in action, Medic feels a new emotion that he's never felt before. Is this.. love? Maybe it is. Or maybe it's just lust.

Medic has never been infatuated with any woman. Except you. The way you lure in these pathetic men with your good looks and false promises, only to kill them afterwards- oh God, it makes him giddy. He feels like a schoolboy all over again!

Medic does routine check-ups on you. To make sure all your lady parts are in working order. In reality, this perverted fuck wants to have an excuse to grope you. Always gaslights you into believing he's not being a degenerate.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Why, of course! Breast cancer isn't something to take lightly!" He'd respond. You would understand, but after thirty minutes of him fondling your breasts, you knew what his true intentions were.

Medic writes you love letters and his dove, Archimedes, deliver them to you.

The letters start off relatively sweet. Medic writes that he views you as a Goddess, a truly ethereal being that is too perfect for this world filled with lesser mortals. And how he's the only man truly worthy for you.

Then, the letters take a complete turn the more you read it. He writes how he wishes to fulfill every filthy fantasy he's ever had with you. Oh boy, the list is long. For one, Medic wants to tie you down, gag you, and breed you like the filthy whore you are. Another consited of how he wants to fuck you on the battlefield while you're bleeding out and fingering your open wound as if it was your pussy.

You've stopped reading his letters and tend to light them on fire.

Demoman

"So, how much do you regularly charge for a quick shag?" He'd ask you before laughing his ass off.

Demo will never take you or your work seriously. Even if you politely ask him to.

He doesn't see what's so hard about showing off your tits and saying how much you love to suck cock. Demo believes you should've been a stripper if you wanted to tease men so desperately.

You frequently explain to him in detail how you help and provide for the team. You honestly can't tell if Demo deliberately forgets or because he gets drunk so often, he hardly pays attention to you while you talk.

Don't worry, though. After you've instilled the fear of women into him, he'll be gladly reminded that he shouldn't judge or ridicule a woman. If his mother were here, she'd knock some sense into him.

Demo apologizes to you, drinks, gets drunk, and apologies some more

"I'm sorry, lassie! It's just that I just get so lonely sometimes! What woman would give me, a one-eyed freak, a chance!"

He bawls on the floor, crying in front of you. You attempt to cheer him up by comforting him. Instead, you end up getting drunk with him.

Did you shag him in the heat of the moment? That's all up to you ;)

Pyro

Has no idea what you're doing to the enemy. Anything sexual you do is translated as innocent in their vision. Will never know what real seduction or sex.

Luckily, they think everything you do is nice and polite!

Regularly gives you grotesque gifts, which are usually human hearts and bones. You begrudgingly take the gifts because you know they mean well and don't wish to be disrespectful.

Pyro has a tendency to go through your closet when you leave your room. Or while you're sleeping. Either why, they steal your clothing and belongings. They pick out outfits and wigs they like along with makeup supplies. You wonder where you placed your dress and immediately begin searching for it. Maybe you left it in the laundry room. As soon as you exit your room, you see Pyro wearing your clothing over their suit. Fake eyelashes have been glued onto their eyes, and lipstick smeared all over the breathing hole.

You can't even be upset with Pyro. They're doing their best.

You let Pyro keep the dress they're wearing, considering it most likely wouldn't fit you anymore.

[eroguron0nsense]

The Mysterious Mysteries of Mr Sir Crocodile (Character Analysis)

(Apologies in advance for discrepancies from my usual tone and for holding off on everyone who voted for this on my last poll. Honest to God I hope y'all enjoy this in some capacity because I've been procrastinating on this meta so long it's derailed ALL my other One Piece writing and I only accomplished it through addy-fuelled mania)

This was such a fucking pain to write. I really wanted to say something about Crocodile and what makes him so fascinating that wasn't like, another fan theory or just a set of headcanons, but that's easier said than done?? We could boil it down to immaculate design, screen presence, attitude, or just the fact that he got brought back as an unlikely ally who shocked everyone by saving the protagonist, but I don't know that those factors in and of themselves make for a villain who's become such an object of fandom obsession.

Whatever it is, it's certainly not backstory or depth, because 24 years and hundreds and hundreds of chapters after his introduction, we still know nothing about Sir Crocowani's past beyond a vague confrontation with the Late Great Edward Newgate (that apparently like, ruined his dreams or something?), and some totally-not-just-a-threat-to-out-him-if-he-betrayed-the-alliance blackmail material the Queen of the Queers is holding over his sandy reptilian ass. I was born and grew into adulthood in the time it took Oda to tell the world fuck all about where he's from or his inner thoughts, or his actual honest motivations and traumas.

All we have about this character are questions. Why did he save Luffy and Ace –very conspicuously after both of their lineages were revealed to the world– against all logic and reason? Does he have ties to the revolutionaries? Is he the long-lost son of Rocks D. Xebec? Did he bounce on Comrade Dragon's Monkey D and squirt out the fucking Warrior of Liberation? I assume Oda's going to tell us more about him, but at this point, he's managed to keep a tighter lid on Sir Crocs, Inc.'s past than the fucking Secret History

You may be wondering, dear reader: what the fuck is my point? What is there, at this final stage of Long Running Pirate Manga, for me–Frankie EroGuroNonsense, OP Tumblr Community Z-lister with like, 7 mildly popular meta posts under my belt–to write about the legendary Sir Krokorok that hasn't already been said or theorized? What eagle-eyed observations did I make while rereading Alabasta and writing toxic Crobin fanfic? Am I going anywhere with this? Sorta. Yeah.

Let's start with listing things we actually know about Crockpot, in roughly chronological (??) order: –attended Gol D.'s execution way back when he was my age, along with anyone else who's anyone from his generation.

–At some point, met and was known well enough by Iva that she could effectively blackmail him

–Made it far enough on the Grand Line, somehow getting to the New World, and managed to pick up an 81,000,000 bounty (low end for a warlord, presumably scouted fairly early in his career)

–Wanted to be Pirate King until he gave up on it, not 100% explicitly confirmed but most likely due to getting his ass beat so badly by Whitebeard that he settled for picking off small fry and racketeering behind a government desk job. This makes him profoundly relatable to the rest of us depressed fucking losers who acquiesce to our own mediocrity.

–At 30, after presumably licking his wounds for a hot minute, sets up shop in Alabasta, comes up with a clever evil plan to quietly build up enough arms to conquer the world with a WMD, and then gets his years-long bioterrorist coup attempt foiled by a 17-year-old.

The rest we know: after a brief moment of glory as the unsung MVP of Impel Down/Marineford, he immediately reverts to Failguy Mode, gives all his money to a literal clown, and consequently gets roped into the neverending uncontrollable PR nightmare that is Cross Guild. It's still super vague and we know little to nothing about his past before the Alabasta Saga (for all we know he had a fling with King Cobra)

...Onto his personality and mannerisms. This shit's a lot more revealing. Superficially, he's everything: immaculate Bond villain levels of charismatic villainy, unbelievably ostentatious, dripped out like a Pimp, constantly smoking cigars, absolutely dripping with smugness and grease and disdain. Owns exotic pets and a giant casino, and spends every waking moment either grinning like a maniac when he's got the upper hand or storming around in a fucking mood when anything goes mildly wrong.

He's also pretty hardened underneath all that, obviously couldn't have lived a day on the grand line or survived Impel Down Torture otherwise. But even in Alabasta, Crockery gives off an air of being distinctly more grounded and willing to get his hands dirty than other flashy, established villains who flaunt their wealth and status. A big part of it is just his really hyper-masculine indomitable tough guy persona, but even early on he's very much micromanaging his operation, fighting people hand to hand in (as opposed to, say, Doffy, who literally puppeteers people while lounging around) and makes a point to keep almost all of his followers at a distance and rely on them as little as possible. He rants a bit about how dreams and whatnot are pointless follies, as One Piece antagonists tend to do, and repeatedly taunts Vivi about how her idealism can't save her, but with the context that he wanted to find Laughtale himself, it feels a lot like projection.

The character trait that's harped on a LOT in canon, and probably the most pertinent one to whatever demons he has, is Croconaw's profound pathological distrust for everyone around him. It's a huge part of what makes him a good early foil to the Nefertari family and the Straw Hats, whose collective strength is derived from organic human connection; Crocalor, by contrast, makes sure that up until the very last moment, he keeps most of his people so distant from him that they genuinely have no idea he's even their boss. His relationship with Robin is interesting, but he turns on her immediately when he realizes she either can't or won't give him the location of Pluton and has his dramatic stabbing/"I forgive you" lines about how he never trusted her or anyone from the start. He says the same shit to Mihawk when he suggests they join forces, even citing their mutual distrust as a kind of paradoxical justification for why they'd actually work well together.

Arguably the only exception is Daz Bones, but even that relationship is still a pretty reserved one; one of the few traits Daz exhibits is a similar avoidance of human connections to his boss and even though they've ironically formed a bond despite it, I can't imagine that they're emotionally close. I find these more explicit declarations of paranoia a lot less indicative of what's actually going on in Croconut's head than subtext, but I feel inclined to mention them just because it more or less tells us that his background/trauma has something to do either with betrayal or alternatively just being jaded and deprived to the point of self-isolation.

Krookodile's character gets a little bit more interesting when we get to see him again in Impel Down being a smug little manipulative rascal right up until he gets blackmailed by his endocrinologist, which is definitely medical malpractice but also funny as hell. I also appreciate that literally the first thing he does after getting out of his cell is change into a big coat and cravat to keep up appearances, but it's not until Marineford proper that things get really complicated. Saving Luffy and Ace is the first selfless thing we see Crobat do–while yelling at Luffy that he needs to protect what matters to him properly, no less– and he just keeps fighting for them after that, teaming up with his most hated rival crew to cover Luffy's retreat and telling the entire WG to go fuck itself multiple times over. He fights everyone on sight with no regard for his own safety, talks mad shit to Doffy, and demonstrates a genuinely compelling amount of honest to god chivalry.

For a short time, we see Crocomotive less as a really entertaining cartoon villain and more as a person with hidden, profound emotions and a confusing moral code that's seemingly incompatible with the vicious little creature we met in Alabasta. We come to understand, in a few very brief lines that give us way more questions than answers, that Cromagnon has deep-seated, emotional convictions he actively suppresses, and that whatever baggage he has is probably tied to wanting to or failing to save something of his own. His resentment of Newgate, who he really really wants to have a go at (despite theoretically no longer caring about the ambitions of his youth) is indicative of a desire to revisit the fight that probably ruined his dream and ego, but it's also tinged with a deep-seated grudging respect for a living legend.

Crock–Afire Explosion's obvious seething hatred of Doffy also gives us a few more insights into what's wrong with him. On a surface level, it makes sense that he dislikes a profoundly obnoxious, even flashier fellow warlord who achieved more or less the same goal he set out to in a shorter time, fucks with his business, and then mocks him/tries to recruit him right after his very public defeat and imprisonment. He postures a lot, especially with his lines insisting he's on a higher level and that Doffy could only ever join him as a subordinate, but he's visibly steamed in their initial encounter and clearly hasn't liked him for quite some time. I bring this up because if we stretch our interpretation a little (for the sake of my argument), Croc Holliday's distaste for someone who's (outwardly) so much like himself and embodies all of his villainous characteristics from back in Alabasta might also suggest that deep down, he doesn't actually like the things they have in common; he sees right through Doffy because he's done the same shit and he hates what he sees.

Having gone over all that, I've come up with some key characteristics of Crocomelon that I'll use going forward:

–Extremely performative: puts an ungodly amount of energy into maintaining a carefully curated persona, and projecting a certain amount of power, masculinity, and prestige. Not necessarily an unnatural or inauthentic one, but a constructed and purposeful one nonetheless

–Deep-seated paranoia, hidden secrets; probably intertwined. Keeps personal details on tight, tight lockdown, probably afraid of being known.

–Constant projection of his own insecurities and failures onto other people, making a point to be uniquely cruel in Alabasta to an idealist who loves her people and a dreamer who wants to be the Pirate King.

Ironically, he demonstrably respects and defends two people–Luffy and Whitebeard–who theoretically embody everything he hates or scorns (ambition, goodness, love, connection, romanticism, greatness in the traditional sense) and he intensely dislikes the villain most like himself, or at least the one who shares a lot of his worst characteristics (ostentatious manipulative scheming rat bastard backed by people stronger than himself) –The Grinch's heart grew three sizes at Marineford because of like, the compelling power of brotherly love and reminders of his youth or something

SPECULATION, CONCLUSIONS??

The difficulty with writing anything definitive about Crocko's Basilisk is that he's such a mystery, which functionally lets the fanbase project literally whatever weird personality traits, potential backstories, or anything else they could possibly come up with onto him. So I want to be clear that I have absolutely no interest in theorizing about the specifics of his past or secret identity or potential baby daddy or anything along those lines; I'm only interested in what we can infer about his personality by extrapolating from canon. And the conclusion I keep coming back to, the one that I'm convinced is true on some level, is that Crocodile is living a lie and he fucking hates himself. Everything he does, from how he acts to what he claims to believe, is a desperate effort to cope with his own insecurity and failure and cover up a past version of himself he's deeply ashamed of.

Now, unfortunately, Oda did not conceive of Crocodile as a trans man but stories belong to the people and we can do what we want let's forget about that and play it straight because he's constantly performing gender as a means of compensating for a deep-seated shame and self-loathing from whatever traumas and secrets he keeps hidden. Even assuming he's a cis man, he deliberately chooses a hypermasculine persona with a Capital V Villain moniker and pimp outfit and speech pattern he's carefully curated to project masculine power–physical, political, and financial–and we know it's performance because we see him break kayfabe and get legitimately fucking angry whenever he's confronted by a person like Luffy, who's crazy and brave enough to try and do what he couldn't and risk everything for love and hope that he cannot bring himself to feel for another person, or reminders of the past he tries so desperately to bury.

The lessons he's wrongfully obtained from his past are as follows: Idealism is a weakness. Dreaming is a weakness. Connections to other people and being known are crippling liabilities (If he is, in fact, trans and closeted, that's all the more reason to be existentially disgusted by what he used to be). All the hope he brought to the Grand Line, all the excitement of trying to carry on where Roger left off, needs to be purged and buried because all he got to show for it was loss and humiliation. But he can't stop wanting more, and ironically, after he gives up on conquering the Grand Line, he ends up chasing the same fucking poneglyphs and weapons because his ambition's still there; it's just compromised and much more jaded.

Everything he does that's seemingly contradictory makes sense when you realize that Crocodile resents his failure and wants to avenge himself. He makes a big show of talking down to Luffy and Vivi's petty ideals and shit-talking Newgate and his family, but he still wants to fight Whitebeard like he did way back when and help Luffy protect what matters to him. He hates Doffy, who's honestly just a more successful schemer than he is because it's a constant reminder of what he settled for when he took that warlord post and fucking gave up. He claims to trust no one, but he keeps Daz by his side and rewards his loyalty because he can't help but trust someone who respects him so deeply and follows him to the ends of the fucking earth long after losing the material incentive to do so. He claims to look down on people who aim for the stars and fight for love and joy and freedom and yet, in his most vulnerable moments–not in the face of violence or imprisonment, but when he's emotionally compelled to defend a child and help save his brother–we see how badly he wants that for himself.

TLDR: Crockman Holic is deeply insecure in his masculinity, desperately needs psychological help, and his character/potential redemption arc in One Piece is just dealing with his midlife crisis.

[doberbutts]

@corvus--caurinus

Yup! Per my neurologist, before the mid/late 00s the medical community was sort of, uh, unconcerned about so-called "minor" concussions, because the symptoms didn't seem to last longer than a few seconds and thus it was treated as a non-issue. Most parents didn't take their kids to the doctor for them and the few who did were told to let the kid rest for a day and then get back to life as normal.

Then a breakthrough study happened and revealed there is no such thing as a "mild" concussion. All concussions are concussions and all concussions are brain injuries. And all concussions run an exponentially higher risk of increasingly dangerous and life-affecting symptoms as you knock your brain around more and more. And with each subsequent concussion, you run the serious risk of these symptoms becoming permenant brain damage. Turns out, your brain does not actually like to be jumbled around in there, who knew.

The white flash is usually caused by one of two things: a jarring motion in your retinas (not a concussion) or the impact of your brain banging against the fluids and other matter inside of your skull (that's a concussion). Same if you "see stars"- the "stars" are the damaged nerves that just banged into something firing off electrical impulses trying to figure out how to cope with what just happened. And of course if you hit your head or are shaken to the point of losing consciousness, that's your brain's equivilant of the computer that, when smacked, turns itself off. All of these are concussions, and while it may seem like knocking yourself out should result in a worse concussion than just seeing stars, brains don't always follow that rule. All of these concussions will eventually stack on top of each other and will cause a major TBI once you hit your head a little too hard or perhaps even just one too many times.

So when he said "okay so you were never *treated* for a concussion but have you ever had this happen after hitting your head?" well... yes, actually. I was hit in the head by a thrown baseball bat (accidentally) in gym class and promptly took a nap. I was awake and otherwise fine in a few minutes so besides being sent home that day and having a large bruise/egg nothing really happened. I was doing flips on the gymnastic bars and lost my grip and whacked my head against the ground and, you guessed it, was unconscious. By the time my friends got the recess teacher over I was already awake and just a little dazed- again they sent me home but that's it. I fell through one of those dome monkey bars at a playground with my mom and hit the ground head/neck first. This was before the age of cell phones so Mom told me she was trying to figure out what to do about her very unresponsive child in the middle of the park (it's dangerous to move someone who may have broken their back/neck but she also can't just leave me laying on the ground to knock on someone's door to call 911) when I woke up and outside of a stiff neck seemed "quiet but fine".

In fairness according to my neuro there's not really much a doctor *could* have done medically as I bounced back without any problems except maybe have me take it easy for a couple weeks (I'd've died of boredom with no stimulation) but it still should have been noted that each of those were concussions. Then the amount of times that I've been dazed or saw lights... too many to count. I work with high energy dogs in an impact sport, they headbutt me or punch me or knock me to the ground all the time. I was an active kid and an athlete prior to my heart acting up, so sport-related injuries just sort of come with the package and that includes knocks on the head.

But sitting in his office and hearing him say that, and then recovering from the TBI and examining what it's done to my life... it made me realize how much people take for granted. It just takes one too many knocks on the head. He said the major thing he regrets as an older neurologist is that for a very long time, most of his practicing career and certainly a significant portion of my own life, no one really cared about concussions. But the line between concussion and TBI is very blurred, because in truth a concussion *is* a brain injury, and at some point you will concuss yourself much much worse than you were expecting due to the buildup of damage from not taking hitting your head seriously.

The best way to think of it is breaking your ankle. A broken ankle is a broken ankle, there's no such thing as a "mild" broken ankle. But there are grades of severity- a hairline fracture on a single bone is a broken ankle, but recovery time and process are relatively straightforward in most cases. Completely shattering multiple bones on the other hand significantly lengthens recovery time and the process is significantly more involved with a risk of further complications. If you keep doing whatever it is that gave you a hairline fracture, one day you won't be so lucky, and you will completely shatter the whole joint assembley.

That's how concussions are. Those cute little knocks that cause a white flash and nothing else? That's a warning to stop doing that and be more careful. You get to hobble around in a boot for a while to think about your choices leading up to this point. Knocking yourself out? Well you've snapped a bone. You get a cast and some crutches. Full blown TBI? Congrats, the whole ankle is fucked and you need major surgery now.

[head-empty-just-ace]

Renovating my room means I'm blasting music through the speaker. And I am also just stuck on Hozier's music (if u don't know him— now you do). So, here are Hozier's music that I think suits the following OP men!

Featured Characters: Ace, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Brook, and Usopp

CW: Suggestive Content (it's Hozier. Ofc, there're going to be some feral undertones)

Note: I might edit this and add more if I feel like it.

Portgas D. Ace

I had a thought, dear However scary About that night The bugs and the dirt Why were you digging? What did you bury Before those hands pulled me From the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask you, neither should you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do

To Ace, you were the one who brought him back to life and away from the darkness of his own mind. There was that understanding between the two of you. Both knew the other had a past haunting like a shadow.

He won't pry. He won't undo the stitches of whatever had hurt you in the past. Let the ghosts stay as they are— just let him love you now. Two people that simply fell in love with each other.

The two of you feel like broken pieces of a whole to form a mosaic in each other's embrace. It becomes a chaotic madness that only the two of you could understand the raw beauty of it.

Monkey D. Luffy

Boys workin' on empty Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby I'm so full of love I could barely eat There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be She give me toothaches just from kissin' me When, my, time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

As playful as Luffy can be, he's fiercely loyal. He'll go through hell and back just to have you in his arms. May it be against the world, heavens, or even the universe its— he won't let it take you away. He can't lose another loved one.

He's already done this for so many people. No pain nor torture could stop this man from being with you. Not even the gods can help the ones who even dare try to.

The guy won't die for you. Luffy would make sure he's alive to make sure you're safe and happy. That's why not even death could keep him away.

Roronoa Zoro

You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to smile at me, smile at me like that You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to hold me just, hold me just like that

I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

A man of solitude finally found the place to call his home. Zoro keeps to himself, and yet you wormed your way into his life without realizing the effect you had on him.

There's a silent intensity to it. He's a man of strict self-discipline. He knows who he is. But with you? Gods, a switch turns on in his brain that makes him feral.

The warmth of your soul seeped deep into the crevices of his bones and warmed him from the inside. How could he not need you and the warmth you've shown him?

Sanji

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found (hey ya) I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground (hey ya) I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around (hey ya) And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me!

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we'd do So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

Oh, everyone knows Sanji isn't by any means silent with his affections. But behind those honey-like words of adoration? Behind the hands that hold you so tenderly? There's an underlying heat to it that consumes him whole.

He won't tell you— not yet. Too afraid to scare you away by the growing desire in his chest. He doesn't just want you. He needs you.

That's why he'll put up a front of a dignified lover to you. Fawning over every little detail of your being while his fingers ache to feel the warmth of your bare skin.

Brook

She's gonna save me, call me "baby" Run her hands through my hair She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily Better yet, she wouldn't care We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives Ride 'round picking up clues We'll name our children, Jackie and Wilson Raise 'em on rhythm and blues

Lord, it'd be great to find a place we could escape sometime Me and my Isis growing black irises in the sunshine Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside We'd sit back and watch the world go by

In the vast lonely life Brook lived, there was something about you that made him forget what loneliness ever felt like in the first place. You're just it to him.

No matter how peculiar he may seemed— you were always there by his side. Laughing along his jokes. Even matching his humor and love for music.

You are his muse. And he'd gladly play the ballad of your love until the end of time, if you'd let him.

Usopp

Remember once I told you 'bout How before I heard it from your mouth My name would always hit my ears As such an awful sound And the soul, if that's what you'd call it Uneasy ally of the body It felt nameless as a river undiscovered underground

And the first time that you kissed me I drank dry the River Lethe The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same But you spoke some quick new music That went so far to soothe this soul As it was and ever shall be Unearth without a name

Some part of me must have died The first time that you called me baby And some part of me came alive The first time that you called me baby

Usopp knew that there was this part of him that felt hollow with all the grandoise stories he tells. And the way you would always listen to him as if you truly believed his words made him feel as though he was saved.

Bit by bit, he no longer lived in the tales he spun in his mind. He lived in the moment— with you. All the adventures you two would go on together were all he could ever talk about now.

It felt great because it was real. You were real. Choosing him despite all his flaws and quirks. To have given him the honor to hold your heart in his hands and be the one to protect it.

~~~~~~~

Okay, I might make a part 2 for this w/ Jimbei, Shanks, Law, Kid, and Yamato. Here's my masterlist to check it out!

~~~~~~~

Taglist: @that-student-that-has-homework @captainportgasdace @ofoceansandtombsanew @lynndt-chocolate