#but i'm worried about it getting annoyingly big

[ashtonisvibing]

anyways moving on from the last post what if i learned html and made a neocities website purely to collect stamps

look i collected rocks as a kid you can't give me a nifty lil thing and not expect me to become obsessed with collecting them

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

katsuki’s masterlist ♡ !

lil blurbs ! ( i'm just talkin'):

katsuki likes to make you laugh

katsuki's love language

katsuki is so dramatic

katsuki likes to bite you

childhood bodyguard! katsuki

katsuki x popstar! reader

katsuki is fun to mess with

katsuki really likes the way you smell

hockey player! bakugou

sleepy kisses w katsuki

katsuki and compliments

katsuki doesn't give a fuck

goodnight kiss (or the one where katsuki isn’t good at asking for, well…anything.)

suck up katsuki

could've fooled me ( or the one where you peel your orange yourself and katsuki is not happy)

katsuki and your naps (or the one where katsuki hates kaminari)

katsuki is a big baby

katsuki and (non sexual) hickies ! more !

no good thief ! (or the one where katsuki finds out who’s been stealing his clothes)

sleeping on the couch

katsuki and petnames…kinda

katsuki in a suit

katsuki is dramatic again (or the one where katsuki isn’t worried..really.)

katsuki and ice cream

katsuki and changing

katsuki doesn't give a fuck, again !

your almost boyfriend katsuki

baby suki

lil fics ! ( i ramble a little longer) :

katsuki is in trouble

katsuki's extra clingy when he's sleepy

from the start (or the one where you've been katsuki's for as long as you can remember)

you are not the father ! (or watching the maury show with katsuki)

katsuki hates seeing you cry

unchanged apologies (or the one where katsuki's childhood habits remains the same)

fire-breathing roommate chronicles (or living w dragon bkg)

baking cookies with katsuki

can't love anyone more than you

katsuki can't say no to you (not that he wants to) (or the one where katsuki takes care of you after you get drunk) part two !

déjà vu : a french term that translates to "already seen." It is a phenomenon where an individual feels a strong sense of familiarity or recognition with a current situation.( or the one where katsuki thinks about you) bnha manga spoilers !!

the bet (or the one where your classmates make a bet.)

this night has opened my eyes (or the one where katsuki cleans up your injuries)

valentine's day troubles (or the one where katsuki's friends help him out for valentines day )

boyfriend for sale ! (or the one where your boyfriend forgets to ask you to be his valentine) feat. shoto todoroki !

ewww, katsu's got cooties ! (or the one where katsuki is too cool for cooties)

two of hearts (or the one where katsuki wakes up) bnha manga spoilers !!

31 days (or the one where katsuki surprises you)

habits (or little habits katsuki's developed ever since he's met you) slight bnha manga spoilers !!

while i search for the way to your world, leave a mark on your way (or the one where katsuki has his first real fight with you)

jealous, jealous, jealous girl ! (or the one where your boyfriend gets too much attention)

half return (or the one where katsuki decides to go home for the weekend and brings you with him) bnha manga spoilers !!

longer fics / mini series ! ( get comfy 'cuz this one's a multi-parter !) :

♡ fire-breathing roommate chronicles !♡ when an injured, mysterious, and incredibly handsome dragon man blasts through the wall of your apartment, you decide to let him stay with you until he's fully healed. despite the struggles of co-habitating with a mythical beast, his mysterious past and annoyingly sharp tongue, you find you can't help feeling drawn to him..

♡ fire-breathing boyfriend chronicles ! ♡ some short ‘n sweet little extra’s following the events of fbrc starring our favorite now dragon boyfriend bakugou !

ring pop proposal ♡ 1 2 3 ♡ the three times where mitsuki realizes that her katsuki is in love with you (and she realizes you love him back)

♡ ring pops, chocolates proposals ! ♡ katsuki loves you throughout the years.

an explosive birthday (collab event for the days leading up to katsuki's birthday !) see masterlist

shadows of affection : orphaned at a young age, katsuki knows nothing but endless violence and the feeling of his bruised and bloody knuckles. until he gets taken in by a mob boss and is tasked to become his daughter's bodyguard..

and then some more ! ( extra's !)

the morning after : katsuki confronts you about what you told him the night you got drunk

♡ fire-breathing boyfriend chronicles ! ♡ some short ‘n sweet little extra’s following the events of fbrc starring our favorite now dragon boyfriend bakugou !

♡ ring pops, chocolates proposals ! ♡ katsuki loves you throughout the years.

[neocrias]

I just know you - c.hs

synopsis: you take the day to be quiet and distant, but your boyfriend doesn't really seem to notice.

pairing: vernon x gn reader

wc: 1k; super short, really just for the vibes

genre/aus: fluff; estabilished relationship

warnings: none at all lol; vernon is really a simp and reader is a little childish.

"So... you haven't even noticed, right?" you cross your arms, leaning against the wall while giving the most cynical look at your boyfriend sitting at the sofa.

Vernon takes off his headphones clumsily with a confused look on his face, turning to look at you with his eyebrows knit-together.

"Sorry, what?" that's all he says. You almost roll your eyes, offended. You haven't gotten off your bedroom almost all day, so he should at least be worried...right?

But Vernon apparentely was way too off to notice anything. Ever since you woke up, passing through him in the living room only once to get to the kitchen and drink some water, he's been the same: lying there with headphones on while watching something on his ipad.

"I haven't talked to you all day. And you didn't even notice it." You blurt out, coughing after you made your effort to speak.

"Well...I figured you'd have a sore throat after the karaoke you went to yesterday with your friends." He shrug his shoulders, tensing them right afterwards. "Wait...is there another reason? Did I do something?"

You freeze. That's precisely the reason you've been quiet in your room all day. But how did he figure that all by himself?

Actually, you have been enjoying some lazy time to yourself. You woke up with a dry throat and you just knew your day was over, so all you could do ever since then was laying, watching TV, drinking water and staying as quiet as possible not to worsen your condition. At some point, you were even mentally thanking your boyfriend for being so low-maintenance and not getting out of the couch to make you questions or picking up conversation, because you knew you couldn't resist his big brown eyes and would end up talking to him all afternoon. However, after some reflection, you were also wondering why the hell would he think it was normal for you two to spend the whole day going non-verbal. You missed him, and you wanted him to annoyingly make you speak even though you couldn't for being almost voiceless and incredibly tired.

He didn't even notice you were silent all day. He didn't miss you like you missed him - at least that's what you thought, and these thoughts made you march to him pissed off and slightly upset, with a frown and a big pout on your face - all which slowly melted at his confession.

"B-but you didn't even check on me..." You purred, still a little sulky. Vernon just raised his eyebrows, seeming a bit lost.

"I just thought you'd like to rest."

You take a deep breath. Okay. Your boyfriend is, indeed, considerate - which makes your heart flutter a little - but you had somewhat a pride on you, and even though you were speechless - both by your physical conditions and his cute demeanor - you couldn't let him win that easily.

"You...you could've offered me some medicine. Or mint drops. Why didn't you offer me mint drops?" You really had to invent something to complain about at this point, like a child, because he just left you so mesmerized.

"But they're in your bed stand. I bought some in the morning when I was at the grocery shop." Vernon clarifies, smiling a little and your hearts stops for a moment. He's the cutest, and I'm stupid.

You stop for a while, not knowing what to say next.

"...So, you're not upset that I didn't talk or approach you?"

Vernon shakes his head.

"And you didn't mind that I was in my room all day resting?"

He repeats the gesture, pouting a little.

"I don't get it..." You cough. "You knew all of this beforehand, and you didn't even get mad that I didn't talk to you all day!? You just let me be because that was exactly what I wanted? It makes no sense! Wow, you must really-" You raise your voice out of surprise, but it fails in the middle of your monologue, causing you to cough really hard and your throat to hurt quite a lot.

"Hey, you shouldn't force it, babe." Vernon warns carefully, moving a little on the sofa to look at you better. "What was it?"

You grab the closest notebook at the coffee table and a pen, starting to write what you were going to tell him before you got cut out by your own malfunctioning throat.

"Wow, you must really like me then" Your caligraphy spells. Vernon tightens his eyes as he approaches to read the paper in your hands better, and when he's finished, he throws you a shy smile.

"I'd say a fair amount." He shrugs his shoulders, playfully, watching you roll your eyes at him. "Fine, let's get you to bed then. I'll be by your side since you miss me so much and can't stand a whole day without my company. Just remember not to talk, darling."

Vernon motions to stand up, but you stop him before he does it, writing once again on the notebook before showing it to him.

"And how did you know I was voiceless?"

"Well, last night when you arrived and was telling me about the karaoke and how much you had fun, your voice sounded a little odd, so I just figured it would be even worse by today."

"You're really that attentive!?" You can't help but exclamate at loud, surprised at how loved you can feel by him. Vernon rapidly moves to shut you, starting to guide you towards the bedroom.

"Shhh, let's go rest, babe." It's all he says. What Vernon ommits, though, is that of course he'd pay attention to the minimal details of your voice. After all, that's one of his favorite features of you. It's your sweet voice that tells him the most loveable things he's ever heard and of course he missed hearing it during that day, but he just really wanted you to get better.

After all, it seemed like dating super quiet and chill Vernon ended up being more tender than you could ever imagine. He just knew you too damn well.

[sadnymi]

「 ✦ How Would The Slytherin boys React After you tell them you’re pregnant:✦ 」

[Mattheo Riddle-Theodore Nott-Lorenzo Berkshire-Draco Malfy-Tom Riddle-Regulus Black]

•Mattheo Riddle

1.Silence: You blurt out the news, a nervous flutter in your chest. Mattheo stares at you, processing the information. Don't panic! This is his initial shock absorbing mode.

2. More Silence: You try again. Still, silence. Don't take it personally; his mind is racing a million miles a minute.

3. The Disappearance Act: By evening, Mattheo might be MIA. Don't fret! This is probably him needing some space to grapple with the news. (Don't chase him to Knockturn Alley, though.)

4. Awkward Return: When he finally returns, you launch into a "what-are-we-going-to-do" speech. But wait! He cuts you off...

5. "Hey, it's okay” : Mattheo might surprise you with a calm demeanor. This doesn't mean he isn't nervous, but he's trying to reassure you (and maybe himself).

6. "I want it too." : Prepare for a confession! Mattheo, the king of nonchalance, might admit he wants this, with you. This might be followed by an apology for his earlier silence."Sorry, I was just shocked earlier. Shouldn't have reacted that way."

7. Confusion Reigns: "You're not mad?" you finally manage to ask, a sliver of doubt lingering.He might confess he's clueless about the whole "No," he says, a sheepish grin tugging at his lips. "It's just... I never thought about this stuff. Family, kids, the whole shebang. But if I'm gonna do it, I want it to be with you."  _Cue the tiny butterflies in your stomach._

8. "But with you.":He might clarify that while the whole baby thing is new, having it with you? That's something he can do.

9. Protectiveness Unleashed: Expect a shift in Mattheo. He might become fiercely protective of you and the little one on the way. (Just don't tell him it's "nesting" if he starts building a barricade around your house.),Mattheo will hover over you, insisting you take prenatal vitamins and threatening to glare down any stranger who bumps into you. It's annoyingly sweet.

10.The (Slight) Freak Out (Because It's Mattheo): Don't get too comfortable yet. There will be moments of panic. Mattheo might blurt out something about not knowing the first thing about raising a kid, or how motorbikes suddenly seem like a terrible idea. Just remind him that you're in this together, crazy as it may be.

•Theodore Nott

1. Reality Check?: Theo might blurt out, "Are you sure?" It's not doubt about your love, but the sheer unexpectedness of it all. Breathe, and calmly confirm with that positive blood test result.

2. Freak-Out Time: Picture a cartoon character with smoke billowing from their ears. That might be Theo, internally freaking out. Don't worry, it's normal (though maybe not that dramatic).

3. Parental Apocalypse?: "Your dad will kill me!" Theo might shriek, envisioning a future father-in-law wielding a shotgun.

4. Waterworks Warning: Tears might well up in your eyes, a mix of emotions swirling. He will put everything beside and try to comfort you.

5. Protective Streak: Expect a dramatic shift. Theo, the notorious rule-breaker, might turn into a fierce protector, ready to shield you from any and all perceived threats.

6. Reassurance Renaissance: He'll rush to your side, muttering reassurances like "Hey, I'm here" and "I'll be here every step of the way." "I might be freaking out internally, but I'm not going anywhere."

7. "We" is the New Word: The "me" might temporarily disappear, replaced by a constant "we." He might start talking about "our baby" and "what we need to do.".

8. Fear is a Two-Way Street: Theo might confess he's scared too. Don't be surprised; fatherhood is a big leap for anyone. Reassure him you're in this together.

9. Facing the Future, Together: Theo might not be known for responsibility, but this news could be a turning point. He might surprise you with his determination to navigate this journey with you.

10.A (Slightly Chaotic) New Chapter: Yes, there will be challenges. But with Theo by your side, even the most chaotic moments of pregnancy and parenthood can turn into an unforgettable adventure (well, maybe not all the diaper changes).

•Lorenzo Berkshire

1. Record Scratch Moment: "Excuse me, what?" Lorenzo might look like a record player with a skipped track. Don't worry, the information overload will clear soon.

2. Baby Talk Confusion: He might blurt out, "Pregnant? Like...with a baby, like a real baby ?"

5. The F-Bomb Symphony: Brace yourself for a chorus of "Oh fuck!" Lorenzo might panic a bit, but hey, at least he acknowledges the reality.

6. Apology Avalanche: Prepare for a barrage of "I'm so sorry for putting a baby on you." It's not guilt-tripping, just Lorenzo's awkward way of expressing concern.

7. Decision Time: He might cut through the tension with a simple, "Okay, what do we do?" Don't be fooled by his bluntness; he's ready to face this together. He might surprise you with a genuine, "I want it. Do you?" Expect a hint of nervousness, but mostly a determination to be a part of this.

8. Family Gathering Fiasco: Prepare for a potential meltdown when it comes to telling your families. He might blurt out, "I'm pregnant!" before you can correct him. Just take a deep breath and handle the announcement yourself later.

9. Overprotective Overload: Expect Lorenzo to morph into your personal bubble wrap. Lifting a box? Forget it. Climbing stairs? Hold on, he's got you. You might need to remind him you're not made of glass .

10. Google Goes Dad Mode: One night, you might catch him researching "how to take care of a pregnant woman" , “ How to be a good dad “ on his phone. Aww, just don’t cry you will freak him out again.

•Draco Malfy

1. Denial is a River in Egypt:  His first response? "You're lying." Don't panic. This is classic Draco, clinging to disbelief. Prepare to show him the pregnancy test, the blood test… anything to pierce his denial bubble.

2."Look Away, Not At It!": He might stubbornly refuse to even glance at the evidence. Don't take it personally; it's his defense mechanism malfunctioning.

3. Accusatory Tirade: Brace yourself for a verbal explosion. He might accuse you of lying, of trapping him, of using his family name. Remember, fear often masquerades as anger in Draco's world.

4. Protection Spells on His Pants?: He might insist he used every protection under the sun. Don't get into a magical contraception debate. Just try to explain accidents happen.

5. The Ejector Seat Option: Draco might bluntly tell you to leave. It's a knee-jerk reaction, not a reflection of his true feelings (hopefully!).

6. Standing Your Ground: Here comes the hard part. You tell him you're keeping the baby, with or without him. This might be the first crack in his emotional armor.

7. A Continent Away From Chaos: Fearing his reaction and the uncertainty of it all, you flee to another country. Girl, we feel you! But remember, you're not alone in this.

8. A Connection You Can't Deny: Despite the fear, you feel a powerful bond with the tiny life growing inside you. This little one deserves a chance, and you vow to protect them.

9. The Redemption Knocks: Two months later, a frantic pounding on your door jolts you awake. You open it to find a desperate Draco, his face etched with worry.

10. A Malfoy Regret-Fest: He confesses he searched everywhere for you, regret gnawing at him. When he learns you fled, the dam breaks. He apologizes profusely, begging you to tell him you kept the baby.

A Second Chance, Malfoy Style:

Relief washes over you as you nod, tears welling up. He wipes them away, muttering, "It's still ours. I'm so sorry. I'll never hurt you or our baby again." A genuine plea hangs in his voice.

“ Do you still love me?“ A shaky nod escapes your lips. He pleads for forgiveness, for a chance to be part of this family he never knew he craved.

This might be the start of a rocky but redemptive journey for both of you. Draco, beneath his icy exterior, might surprise you with his capacity for love and growth. Just remember, keep a communication charm handy – navigating fatherhood with Draco will likely be an… interesting adventure.

•Tom Riddle

1. The Stoic Facade: Don't be surprised if Tom remains eerily calm. His usual mask of control might slip not an inch, leaving you wondering what's going on behind those eyes.

2. Tears: A flood of emotions might be coursing through you, but Tom? His reaction might be a chilling calmness. This doesn't mean he's unfeeling, just that he processes things differently.

3. Misinterpreting Your Distress: Seeing you cry, Tom might jump to a chilling conclusion. "Is having a baby with me that terrifying?" Here comes the part where you clarify.

4. Guilt by Association: A quick "No, no!" will hopefully ease his worry. But then you blurt out your fear – you're both too young.

5. Age is Irrelevant: Tom operates on a different timeline. Age is just a number, and power? That's the real currency. He might say, "It's not about age, it's about power."

6. Power Trip for Three?: Brace yourself for a Tom Riddle monologue about the immense power your child could possess. He might see it as an extension of his own ambitions, a prodigy groomed for greatness.Don't be afraid to voice your anxieties. When you say, "Tom, I don't want my baby to be part of your plans," he might actually listen.

6. A Promise, Riddle-Style: “I promise you, I will keep them safe. I will keep you safe." But remember, Tom's definition of "safe" might not align with yours. Stay frosty.

7. Your Fears Take Center Stage: Tears welling up again? This might be the moment it dawns on Tom that you're not thrilled about the power angle. He might try to reassure you, but...

8. Promises with a Price: Tom doesn't give anything without expecting something in return. Be prepared for him to outline his expectations for your role in his grand plan.

9. A Tug-of-War for the Future: This is where things get interesting. Do you submit to his vision, or do you fight for a different future for your child? The choice is yours.

10. A Dance with Darkness: Having a child with Tom Riddle is a gamble. He might be a captivating presence, but remember, his path is paved with darkness. Are you willing to walk it with him?

•Regulus Black

1. Denial Dance: Regulus might stammer, "No, no," backing away like a cornered cat. This isn't about you; it's pure terror. Don't take it personally.

2. Touch-Starved Panic: You reach for his hand, but he flinches. Give him space for now.

3. The Talk: Regulus might utter the dreaded words, "You need to get rid of it." This comes from a place of fear for the child, not for himself.

4. Mama Bear Mode Activated: Your eyes widen. "No, Reg!" you declare, ready to defend your little bean.And It might be the wake-up call he needs. Witnessing your distress could trigger his protective side.

5. Black Family Fears: Regulus might unload about the Black family legacy, a breeding ground for misery. He fears bringing a child into that darkness."This family… it's torture. A child here wouldn't stand a chance." This is Regulus' way of expressing his fear for your child growing up under the Black banner. He might confess his fear of becoming his parents.

6. Us Against the World: You counter with, "It's our baby, Reg. We'll protect him/her." This might be the turning point.

7. Surprise: Regulus, in a rare show of vulnerability, pulls you into a hug. Hold him tight. He needs reassurance as much as you do.

8. Fearful Love: He might apologize, admitting he's scared for you and the baby. Reassure him you're in this together.

9. Escape Plan Hatched: Regulus suggests raising the child away from the Black family's clutches. This might be the most un-Regulus thing ever, and a good sign.

10. Surprise Dad Mode: Fast forward a few months. Regulus, who "didn't want" the baby, is secretly buying tiny clothes and setting up a nursery. And suddenly, bedtime stories and tea parties are in his future.

“Daddy's Little Girl”The moment he finds out it's a girl, prepare for a meltdown (of the happy kind!).

The magic deepens when your daughter recognizes his voice from within the womb. Witnessing the connection between them, a shared language before she even arrives, will fill your heart.

Late nights spent with Regulus talking softly to his daughter, his voice thick with newfound love, will paint a picture of a future you never dared to dream of. Maybe, just maybe, this family you're creating is exactly what Regulus craved – a love that defies darkness and a happiness he deserves.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

[thecatchat]

Ace the bat hound becomes a ghost dog because he's such a good boy and dedicated to justice. Inspired off of this post here.

But, instead of being found out by Danny, it's the batfam's usual mystic contacts, like Constantine, that discover and reunite Ace and the Bats. Constantine muttering about how annoyingly resilient the particular brand of ghost is. From the infinite realms, Ghosts from there are a headache and a half to get rid of but portals, information, and really anything about it is far and few between since no one's been able to get into contact since some fight a couple centuries ago (Dark being sealed away). Justice Leauge Dark promises to let the family know if they hear anything or find any relevant information about the Infinite Realms, but since literally nothing has been heard from them in so long, no one really knows anything off the top of their head about it.

While Ace is technically supposed to be hidden away at home, he ends up sneaking along one day to help deal with Joker after the clown kidnaps Nightwing and/or Robin (Damian). The photos and videos of the event are blurry and smudged, but word of mouth gets around, and soon, the entirety of Gotham is celebrating the return of Bat Hound the Ghost, the very good boy back from the grave.

Meanwhile, things are going great for the family, just having Ace back makes everyone feel just a bit better (because Ace is a full ghost with a core and is helping to filter the currupt ectoplasm called Lazarus Water with physical touch). Jason is over more often and enjoys flopping on the couch with Ace for a quick snooze, Dick is over the moon to fight with Ace by his side again, Damian makes sure Ace is properly introduced to the rest of the animals that live at the mansion, Tim actually falls asleep semi-regularly now after Ace starts bothering him about being awake, and everyone else is reaping the benefits of having a bat trained dog that seems to be able to sniff out when they need a dog to pet.

Then these guys in white show up.

Ace had seemingly been on edge all night and when it was time to turn in for the night and let Signal come out for the day, Ace follows along, not listening to any command to stay home. Some of the others stay ready in the cave but they let Signal and Ace go out with the promise to call the moment something big happens.

Now, up until then, Ace's powers had been tallied up to: intangibility, invisibility, and occasional hovering/heightened jump. Every other exercise responded out as normal dog (except for the whole being dead thing). Maybe slightly higher emotional intelligence, but some dogs are just Like That. Through some tests, they do find that Ace has a new found hatred of Lazarus Water, but they don't find any obvious weakness that isn't a banishment spell which is as worrying as it is a relief.

So when these white suits start shooting using guns that glow the same green as Ace in Signals' vision and the shoots hit? Ace yelps in pain before seemingly barking out some kind of energy ball? And barreling into a wall so hard it cracked from another shot? Every single alarm that Signal can think to trip gets set off.

But not before one of the suits (one of the many suits, they're terrible fighters but there's just so many of them and two of them) takes out something that looks like a thermos and points it at Ace.

Within a second, Ace is gone.

Signal is so shocked he almost gets hit himself by the dozens of shots of energy blasts now aimed at him. He can't get to the white van in time before it speeds off.

----

I'm going to end this part here. I'm going to continue this in the reblogs but I also want people to take a crack at this story themselves! If you're inspired by this please put your thoughts or stories in the reblogs or tags!

[berryblosom]

AFTER A FIGHT ༊*·˚

Fights with Yuji are rare, almost non existent so it really took a toll on you when this fight came out of no where. You normally don't mind when yuji forgets something in fact you find it cute however his forgetfulness this time almost killed you. You made Yuji promise when you first started dating that he'd call or text if a mission he was on would drag on for a couple more days, you weren't a sorcerer so it wasn't like you could go and find him if something went wrong. Yuji broke his promise which resulted in a fight which then resulted in you sleeping in the guest bedroom.

You've stared at the ceiling for almost an hour now not being able to sleep without your human furnace. "Y/N?" The knock at the door and Yujis voice had you sitting up in the bed immediately.

"Come in." You cringed at how horse your voice sounds after crying for an hour. Yuji comes in hugging one of your many pillows, he makes his way straight to you and kneels on the side of the bed you were sitting on. He takes your hands into his rubbing them into his cheek "I'm sorry I yelled beautiful, I know you're just worried." His big eyes peer up at you and you notice his eyes are red and puffy. He'd been crying and it pained you to see him like this. "I'm sorry I yelled too." You pull him into the bed with you and he instantly wraps his arms around you. This felt right, having Yuji glued to your back and his face buried in the nape of your neck. "I promise to never make you cry again pretty girl, I love you" "i love you too Yuji."

Megumi didn't know what to do, he's been sitting outside the guest room for hours listening to your soft cries. You refuse to let him in and the more he thinks about your fight the more guilt he felt. He didn't mean to call you clingy, he's new to relationships and isn't used to receiving so much affection it overwhelmed him.

Your cries come to a stop and Megumi thought that maybe you'd finally come out. "Y/N can you come out please." He was met with silence. You know he didn't mean to say it but it still hurt because you love him so much. "Please I just wanna see if your okay." You give in and open the door. Megumi falls back landing at your feet, when he sees how red your eyes are he scrambles to get up and pull you into a hug which surprises you as he isn't one for initiating physical contact. "I didn't mean it, you know that right?" You slowly bring your arms up to hug him rubbing his back. "I know, I shouldn't have pushed you." He shakes his head and pulls you away to look at your face. "No it's my own problem I love when you're affectionate and I love you." You smile ruffling his hair as you walk back to your bed room together. "I love you too my grumpy Gumi."

You sigh as you think about the fight with Satoru. Your fights never lasted more than a minute, it was alway little things like him forgetting to put down the toilet seat or you watching a show without him but this time he went too far. You've explained to Satoru that the guy from your class is just a friend but that didn't stop Satoru from beating him up infront of everyone when he saw the guy hug you. "Princess, baby, love of my life please let me in. I miss you.” You wanted so badly to open the door for him and run into his arms but he had to know how bad what he did was. "No you need to learn your lesson." You lean against the door listening to his breathing from the other side. "I've learned my love please I miss your face." You roll you eyes at your overly dramatic boyfriend, it's only been ten minutes since you locked yourself in the guest bedroom. You decide he's been punished enough and open the door, he wastes no time in lifting you into his arms and burying his face into your chest. "Never lock me out again." He looks up at you with his annoyingly blue eyes "Depends on if you can behave." He nods his head frantically while carrying you back to bed "I can...you still love me right?" "Of course I do pretty boy"

Kento had expected to come home to all the light off and an empty bed. You're sleeping figure is what calms him down after a long day at work, just the feeing of your hands in his hair makes all the days worries fade away but after your fight over the phone today he didn't think that would happen. He's been working non stop for weeks and has missed several plans you've made to spend time with him, he realised just how much you've missed him when you called him during his break today crying. He takes of his coat, dropping all his stuff to find you in the guest bedroom.

He climbs into bed with you stirring you from your sleep. "Ken?" You turn to face him rubbing the sleep from your eyes "Im so sorry I made you cry darling." He strokes the side of your face feeling incredibly guilty when he sees your tear stained cheeks. "It's okay, I know how important your job is." Your hands runs through his hair which instantly makes him feel better.

"Nothing is as important to me as you are love." He nuzzles his face into yours and pulls you into a tight hug. "Will you come back to bed with me?" You nod and he picks you up "Let's go back"

[hotchfiles]

Lari I got the cutest idea for a Hotch fic and wanted to share, you don't have to make this a thing you're just the first person I think of when it comes to anything Hotch related!! <3

So what if Hotch had a daughter and she's applying for colleges and she doesn't tell her dad that she applied for the college he went to and then she gets accepted and surprises him by getting a hoodie w the schools name on it, goes up to him and is all "surprise!" and then Hotch is the proudest and smiliest dad ever, the end x

love, family & law

You don't enjoy hiding things from Aaron, and he is annoyingly good at figuring you out, you also don't like supporting Abbey lying to her father, but she has been excited to surprise him with her pre-law George Washington acceptance since before she had actually been accepted and the tenderness of it pulled you by your heart strings.

Jack had recently finished his EMT- Intermediate training and chosen your alma mater Virginia Commonwealth University for his Bachelor's in Emergency Medical Science, a proud to be paramedic. You were excited to see Aaron as happy as you are about sharing schools.

He was starting to get worried too, the family's youngest going radio silent about acceptances from colleges, to him, was beginning to seem like Abbey hadn't got any.

That possibility doesn't bother him, really, he just doesn't want his baby girl suffering alone.

He gets home late and tired, as usual. The two cats he was coerced into adopting years ago are the only ones to welcome him in, two balls of black and orange fur rubbing against his legs lightly and purring as he put his keys, phone and wallet on the table by the door.

"Honey? Abbey?" He scrunches down for a minute, giving Monday and Friday his full attention, and back rubs, "Do you know where mom and your sister are, huh, sneaky babies?" They meow in response. "Gonna need a translator for this interrogation." Aaron smiles to himself and stands up, his knees embarrassingly cracking at the action.

"We're cleaning your office!" His brows rose immediately in suspicion, your voice didn't sound like it was coming from the office, and cleaning it was definitely not your responsibility on the chores chart you both built over the years.

Still, he follows the direction, balls of fur by his side, and is met with the room empty, his old almost falling apart too big GW Law sweater that you usually wore to sleep neatly unfolded over his desk. "Whatー"

"SURPRISE!" He doesn't flinch, turning around in a second, a happy smile, showing a bit of teeth even, graces his face when he notices Abbey wearing a GWU sweater. "Pre-law, officially."

Aaron doesn't say anything, walking over to her and engulfing her in a bear-like hug. You watch from the sidelines, seeing tears watering his eyes lightly as you try to hold back your own.

"Baby, please, don't turn into a defense lawyer." He says half-jokingly after letting go of the hug, pride and joy written all over his face.

"Aaron!"

"What? I'm proud but we gotta be careful, don't want her taking people I put in jail out of there."

Abbey rolls her eyes (yours, completely) at him. "I will if they're innocent. Old people make mistakes." The tone and bite to her tongue are completely his. Strong, matter-of-factly, confident.

Smiling at you is his only reaction, love for what you two created together is clear in his eyes.

Love for the family you helped him build, for the fact you raised Jack and Abbey with values that made both want to help people.

Love for you, always love for you.

[mamani-bento]

i'm glad you're back (kento nanami)

nanami x reader, 2.7k, sorcerer!reader, reader is referred to as 'she' once

established relationship, hurt/comfort + fluff + a tiny bit of angst

i love u nanami. please help me get through this week. please.

mamani-bento's masterlist!

there's been a cloud hanging over nanami's head recently. a dark, looming one. pulls his shoulders high, closer to his ears, as he stays on edge, constantly waiting.

he goes through the motions, trying to focus on his missions and mentoring at the high school, but the stubborn cloud lingers.

how can it leave? you haven't come home yet.

it's been five days since they sent you to find and defeat the cursed spirit holed up in the outskirts of the city. five days since they pulled you out of a class you were taking on domains, explained that there's a special grade that's popped up on their radar, that they need a grade one to get rid of it immediately, that you have to locate and destroy it before it finds the entrance to the city's sewage system.

nanami is a reasonable man. he worries, of course he worries and always about you, it's inevitable in your line of work. but he knows you're strong. he understood when you rushed past him in the corridor, whirlwind of energy as you made your way to the locker rooms to pick up some supplies. the quick explanation, the blazing determination in your behaviour, the almost-playful peck you had given him after confirming that you'd see him at home for dinner - none of it indicated that this mission was anything out of the ordinary.

so apart from the unease that's always itching at him every time you're sent out on a mission - the standard unease, the one he knows you feel for him as well - nanami didn't think too much of it. he wrapped up his classes. stopped by the bakery around the corner from the apartment and picked up your favourite croissant for desert. took a shower, washed his hair even, and went about making dinner.

when the clock struck 8, as he switched off the burner and started to set up the table, the itch began to make itself more prominent. he waited. the pasta got cold and the two empty plates stared at him mockingly. he tried distracting himself by folding the laundry, even though it was your turn to do that. he wiped down the counter, just to keep himself busy. he imagined the sound of keys jiggling in the door knob, imagined you walking through the threshold with a proud smile and full of chatter about how easy the cursed spirit was to defeat, maybe with a tiny cut over your cheekbone that he'd bandage and kiss better.

when it crossed 10pm, he decided to call you. just to check. just to find out if you'd like him to heat up the pasta. no answer. he forced himself to stay calm. your phone had died, obviously. so he had called ijichi.

ijichi, good old reliable ijichi, hadn't known where you were either. then he had called the school. you were obviously getting patched up by shoko, maybe for a bruise or at most a bleeding wound. but you weren't with shoko.

'it's a big one, kento,' gojo had said. 'she's dealing with it. she'll be back in the morning.'

you aren't back in the morning. or the next morning. or the next. and nanami cannot breathe, cannot sleep, is only eating when he physically feels his body begging for sustenance, because how can you not be back?

he had gone with gojo to the location the morning after you didn't come back - just to check, he had told himself furiously, but there was no trace of you or the cursed spirit.

'all we can do is wait' yaga said on the third day, annoyingly calm. how was he so calm?

nanami doesn't miss the worried glances thrown his way by students and sorcerers alike. doesn't miss how itadori doesn't fool around during training or how gojo tones down his incessant chatter by 10% around him. but he's unaffected by the changes in the way people are treating him. by the fourth day you've been gone, there's pity in their glances, as well. he doesn't take it seriously. he can't take it seriously. you'll be back. nanami is a reasonable man. you'll be back.

on the fifth morning, nanami wakes up from a troubled sleep, more tired than he was the previous night. he misses the warmth of your body next to his, the way you need five minutes of bleary yawning and blinking in the morning to get your brain to start up, the smell of your strawberry moisturiser on the sheets. the cloud that's taken residence over his head has grown and grown in the last few days, held up with hope and determination and reason, but he's afraid something will pierce it soon. he doesn't know how much strength he has left to carry this firm belief that you'll be back you'll be back you'll be back and he's never felt so wretchedly helpless in his life.

which is why, when he comes back to the empty house in the evening and sits on the couch, staring unblinkingly at the wall, he doesn't think much of gojo's caller id on his phone, blaring in the terrible silence of the apartment.

"she's back."

relief overtakes nanami's every cell with a painful jolt. he thinks he might cry - no, he knows he'll cry the moment this fully sinks in. he gets the car keys, jingling in his grasp as he haphazardly tugs his shoes on, phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear.

"how is she?" he manages to get out, voice mildly wobbling at the end.

for once, gojo is silent.

nanami's movements slow down in growing foreboding.

"gojo. how is she?" he's firm now. no wobble.

"...shoko's looking into it. she's badly hurt, probably in shock."

nanami lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "alright. i'll be there in a few minutes."

"no, don't come. she'll reach home quicker if ijichi drops her. they're leaving now."

and it kills him to put the keys down, to take his shoes off, to let go of the knob on the front door, but nanami is a reasonable man. he recognises the wisdom in gojo's words, that the priority is not to see you but for you to reach the comfort of your home as soon as possible.

so he watches the second hand of the wall clock in the living room move with excruciating slowness. he paces. he sits. he decides to not change out of his work clothes, despite the fact that it's rumpled beyond belief, that the folded sleeves are slipping past his forearms and he's tired of repeatedly pushing them up - what if you reach just when he's changing? he debates keeping the door open but before he can make up his mind, there's a sharp knock - a real one, not from his imagination.

immediately, he takes three long and rapid strides, urgently pulling the door open.

ijichi explains something to nanami. something about your ribs? you aren't really paying attention. you didn't when shoko told you either, just stared unblinkingly at the ceiling as she wrapped a bandage tightly around your mid-section. you stare now, watching the wall from your seat on the armchair as nanami takes ijichi's empty cup to place in the sink. he had offered you one as well. chamomile tea with a hint of lemon, steaming and fragrant, just the way you like it. it sits on the centre table. still steaming, still fragrant, still full.

you manage a 'thank you' as the two men walk towards the door. it's a fragile, brittle thing, and your voice is hoarse from both screaming and disuse, somehow, but you still say it. ijichi wordlessly places a comforting palm on your shoulder. you try to muster a smile, but it's too much work.

nanami's footsteps are soft as he makes his way back into the living room. you want to look at him, really truly look at him after so long - has it only been five days? - of seeing his face swimming in your dizzy vision, of longing for his solid presence next to you. you brace yourself for the effort of moving your neck up, but his hand appears on the arm of your seat, moments before he's squatting in front of your chair.

he searches your face, even as you search his. he looks tired, exhausted. dark circles line his eyes, a weariness that you can swear wasn't there before the mission sits like a weight on his shoulders. you haven't had a chance to see a mirror since you stumbled out of that cave, limping half-delirious in what you had hoped was the direction of the school, closer to the outskirts than your home. even then, with your nerves fried and senses muddled in exhaustion and lingering terror, you had recognised that the pain on your left wasn't normal and that walking shouldn't hurt so much. you can't imagine what you must look like. bloody, probably. shoko had cleaned your bruises, bandaged up your wounds, but your clothes are stiff with darkened red, and you feel it caked on your skin. dirt and grime, as well. you should be more disgusted, but you can't bring yourself to feel much of anything.

whatever nanami sees, it makes him reach out to take both your hands in his. he's fully kneeling in front of you now. the warmth of his palms in yours is grounding, and your heart cracks a bit as he lifts your left arm to place a soft, affectionate kiss on the inside of your wrist. callused palms gently move upward, firm as they brush up your shoulders, as if ensuring your presence, triple-checking that he isn't imagining this. he cups your cheeks, thumb stroking over your cheekbones, unmindful of the dried blood flaking at his touch. he brings his forehead to slowly meet yours.

for the first time in what feels like forever, you let out a deep, shuddering exhale, body slumping in an exhaustion that hits you too hard. you feel nanami relax too, in the way he slightly pulls back to place a tender kiss on your forehead, as if reminding himself that you're really here, that you're really back.

in a massive display of strength, you manage to lift your arms to hold nanami's arms in place before he can pull away, lightly closing over his wrists.

"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes. a fragile, brittle thing.

he smiles. "hi," he says, tone low and shaky.

it takes you ten more minutes of sitting before you let nanami help you up from the armchair. neither of you say anything in that time. he continues to kneel in front of you, rubbing circles on the backs of your hands that he refuses to let go of. when you do get up, everything aches with a bone-deep weariness that makes you slump against his shoulder, one of his large hands curved around your waist and the other holding your arm. he's mindful of all the injuries that ijichi told him about, even the ones that anesthesia has momentarily made you forget exist.

he guides you to the bedroom, patient even as you have to take breaks every few steps as your ribs groan with at the exertion. as much as you'd like to fall asleep, you make a sound of protest when he guides you to the bed.

"no?" he asks, looking down at you quizzically.

"shower," you say shortly. "i'm filthy." your voice is a bit stronger now.

easily, he course-corrects, moving towards the bathroom. he slowly peels off the grimy fabric on your skin, and when he's done, you're left in just your bandages. you can feel him assessing the damage, the full extent of which is only clear now. the wraps around your mid-section, the one covering the deep gash over your left shoulder. cuts and scrapes litter your skin.

his jaw is tight, but he's gentle as ever as he helps you to the cubicle. he tests the temperature of the water first before letting you stand under the showerhead. your shoulders droop as the water washes over you, blissfully warm. the pool at your feet is deep red for a good few seconds until it's replaced by transparency.

you don't realise nanami had left you alone until he returns. the cubicle door opens with a squeak that you make out over the sound of the water, and you feel the heat of his body behind you. still in his button-up, he detaches the showerhead before retrieving the shampoo bottle.

he sections you hair, deftly working the sticky grime out, long fingers scratching against your scalp as his ministrations lull you closer to sleep.

"would you like to eat something before going to bed?" he softly asks, slight in his movements as he turns off the water.

you probably should, but your body is threatening to shut down. you shake your head.

nanami takes off your soggy bandages, unwrapping with a care that one wouldn't have expected from a man so big. he knows that shoko has already cleaned your wounds, but he does it again anyway, holding your squeezing hand as you wince. he's precise when he re-wraps you, knuckles brushing tenderly across your cheek as he finishes with the one on your shoulder.

the light in the bathroom is a covered bulb on the ceiling, and it throws nanami's gold-spun hair into some sort of halo. like an angel drawn to it, you step closer to him until you're huddled into his frame. strong arms come to carefully circle around your back as you rest your cheek against his chest. again, something leaves as you breathe out, and a security you haven't felt in days begins to re-appear.

you haven't told him what happened, and he hasn't asked. you haven't told anybody. you'll need to give your mission report eventually, and there's a breakdown waiting to happen, hovering at the edges of your psyche until you have the strength to face it, but for now, you let yourself sink into the embrace. a kiss is placed on top of your head, lingering as you feel a puff of air ruffling your hair. his own exhale of relief.

he helps you put your clothes on, dries your hair because he knows you catch colds easy, makes your highly-strung nerves unwind bit by miniscule bit as he does the things that you don't have it in you to do.

as he changes out of his work clothes into soft cotton, you silently watch from your position in the bed. under the covers that he had pulled over you, around the pillows that he had tucked under this arm and that leg so you aren't in pain. a part of you wants to tell him everything. the dim lights cast him in a glow that makes you feel brave enough to relive it all just by being in the same room as him, but you know your voice will give up mid-way.

he switches off the lights and climbs into the bed, turning on his side to face your body. you turn your neck to face him, which is all you can really do. a heavy arm drapes over your frame, avoiding the bandages, fingers curling at your hip.

your eyes adjust to the darkness, and you watch him watching you.

"i'm glad you're back."

"me too."

this time, it's the silence that's a fragile, bitter thing. there's so much under the surface. so much you have to tell him, so much he needs to tell you. about the fight, about the pain, about the agonising wait, about the blind stumbling through sewers, about the cloud that was about to burst.

but for now, all he says is, "wake me up if you need anything."

for now, you nod and place a palm on his forearm that's wrapped around your middle, other hand coming up to cup his face as his eyelids flutter shut. he tilts his head to the side, pressing a doting kiss over the pulse of your wrist.

"i'm glad you're back," he softly repeats as you slip asleep.

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 11 (Part 2 of 3)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); angst; EMDR (VIVID intro to revisiting traumatic situations); crying + feelings of sadness; heart issues (POTs); use of heart monitors; dangerously high heart rate; implied abusive situations; derogatory verbiage from past abuser; implied drug use; very unsanitary living conditions; visits to safe place; usage of containment strategy * * * revisited, vivid memories of sexual encounters; body changes as a result of pregnancy; talks of baby + pregnancy; pregnancy hormones (+ continuing to act on them ;)); reader and jake continue to be STUBBORN; cheating; heavy petting; forgetfulness (as usual, PLEASE lmk if i missed anything that is triggering to you!)

Chapter 11 (Part 2) Word Count: 23.9k+

a/n: i broke my promise, i know. :( i feel absolutely fucking terrible that i made you all wait, but life happens. :'( i wish this story was my main priority/job, but alas...that dream is not a reality. i need you all to know: when i say i'm going to do something, i fully intend on it, but...life (and crippling adhd + anxiety).

i am so incredibly sorry, my lovely readers. :(

also, life update to blame (only if you care to read). BUT, on top of trying to get my house completely cleaned/shit thrown away, i officially had to empty out my classroom (see also: due to toxic work enviro, i had to leave the career i've wanted to live out since i was six y/o). so, i'm currently in the process of completely shifting careers (going from one emotionally taxing career to another, but that is apparently the type of job my heart desires lol).

as always, big thank you to @joshym for being the best sister there ever was and supporting me in my writings + pursuits <3 i love you to the ends of the earth, lis. you're my person. <3

Please enjoy the playlist as you read 🖤 (fr, i listen to it nonstop when i write this.... all of the songs are pertinent to the story and aid in telling it - either already or eventually.)

Covet Masterlist

-🌼🌼🌼-

"I covet truth; beauty is unripe childhood's cheat; I leave it behind with the games of youth."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

-🌼🌼🌼-

Monday

December 12, 2022

“So, any news on the baby since I last saw you?” Gia started, a sure smile on her face that helped ease you. “You had your second appointment on Thursday, right?”

“No,” you shook your head. “Dr. Rose wanted to just wait until closer to Week 18 so we could find out the gender at one session rather than having to wait between week 16 and week 18. Knock everything out at once,” you explained, clearing your throat. Looking around the office, you admired the pieces of floral art littering the walls, as you always did. “We’re going this Friday now.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Gia asked, raising a brow. She was rolling to her desk, getting the (seemingly) last thing she needed for your session today and placing it in her lap. “Not stressed about putting it off?”

“No, actually. I’m not stressed at all,” you acknowledged, sticking your lip out in thought. You hadn’t even thought to be stressed yet. Progress? Sure seemed like it. “It’s strange; the longer time passes, the bigger I get. . . The worries just aren’t as prevalent. It’s like I can feel that the baby is okay.”

“Not strange at all, babe,” Gia reassured with a shake of her head. Her platinum blonde hair was wavy today, framing her angular face perfectly. “Completely normal for new mothers to sort of get used to the pregnancy enough to feel at peace, per se. And I am so proud of you for getting to that point.”

“Well thanks,” you grinned crookedly, trying your best to settle into the worn, camel-colored leather of her sofa. “Can’t say the same for today’s session though. . . I am nervous about it.”

Gia waved it away, showing you a look of ease on her stark features. “No need. You’re the one in control, girly,” she winked, placing both white-sneakered feet on the ground. 

She reached in her desk drawer for the little pouch, the familiar one that you knew held the device you’d be using today. A sudden wave of nerves began to crash over you as she unzipped it, revealing it and the paddles that would be the catalyst in placing your brain. . .elsewhere— somewhere. 

Somewhere bad? Good? In-between?

“Here’s the plan,” she started, wheeling her chair closer to the couch, where you were trying your damnedest to sit comfortably. “We’ll start with your safe place to give you some sense of peace and stability — gotta make sure it’s still fresh and open in your mind.” 

You watched as she turned the knob of the device, the little green light beginning to blink to notate that it’s on. “Then,” she continued, situating the device to look it over before her green eyes settled back on you. “Once you feel comfortable, I’ll tell you to begin walking away. Whatever direction you’d like to go, it’s completely up to you.” 

Gia held the paddles out in front of you, and with clammy, shaky palms, you tentatively took hold of them. One in each hand, just like last time.

You couldn’t stop worrying about where you’d end up, where you’d walk away to. Walking away from your beautiful field, from Jake. . . What if you couldn’t do it? 

“Will I. . .,” you cleared your throat, nervous. “If where I go is too hard, do I just—,” you panicked, unable to properly finish your sentence due to an onslaught of nerves. “What will I do?”

You were fumbling with your words and clarity, before she interjected, knowing just where your mind was going. “I’ll simply tell you to walk back to your safe place. I’ll be talking you through it, I’ll be right here the whole time — just gotta keep your ears open for me,” she winked, clicking open her iPad and testing her Apple pencil on the screen, readying to take notes. 

“And, if at any point I see your body language change to indicate any distress, I’ll guide you back to your safe place, okay?” She soothingly told you the words, her full pink lips widening to a sweet smile, clicking her pencil into its spot at the top of her iPad case. “Remember, my specialized area is EMDR. I’ve done it multiple times before this – successfully. I plan to complete this successfully with you, too, y/n.”

When you gave her a small, timid smile, she took that as an indicator to continue on with her little speech. The tiny faux grin on your otherwise concerned face was the most emotion you could muster in that moment. 

“It will hurt from time to time. I can’t take that away. It will be harder than most other things you’ve ever had to do.” She paused, her own brows curving to show care for your rigid state. Gia reached forward to unwrap your hands from the paddles gently. Once she had a hold on your hands, she rubbed the backs of them reassuringly, her thumbs so soft with their intricate patterns. You looked down to study the patterns, working to focus on something else and rid yourself of the nerves. 

“Y/n.” She stated your name, making you look up at her. Her seafoam-colored eyes grabbed yours. “Before we begin. . . I want to make sure – once more – that you are sure about this . . . that you want to continue. We’ve talked about it a lot, but I want you to be sure. There are other routes of therapy. . .”

“No,” you replied, completely sure of your decision. “No. I want to do this. I promise I haven’t changed my mind. I don’t want to change my mind,” you rushed out, desperate for her to understand you. “I’m just–just scared. Is that not okay?”

You didn’t mean to sound defensive, but your biting tone contradicted that. The nerves were wracking you, from the inside out. 

Luckily, Gia seemed unphased, keeping with her featherlight touch to the backs of your hands. “It absolutely is okay to be scared,” she confirmed, tone firm and soft all at once. “But, I need you to keep in mind: you are in charge this time. You have the power. We will approach these places in the now – you are in the driver’s seat of conquering these past battles. We’re in this together, love – and we will make it out stronger and better than before we started.”

Her voice assured you, of course. But the fear was still ever-present. 

Sure, you did have control. But what if you couldn’t control where you went? 

Where would you go? That was what scared you most. Your mind was bound to let loose. It was one telling part of this sort of therapy. You didn’t really know what had been hiding deep in the drawers of the credenza in your mind. . .  

Hence you being here.

You just knew, whatever it was lying beneath the surface — you knew it was. . . a lot. 

Then, as if she could hear the additional fearful thoughts swimming in your brain, she grasped your hands tighter in hers, moving to rub her thumbs over the tops of your knuckles. “You’ll be just fine. We’ve got a solid plan, babe. I just need you to trust me, and I need you to trust yourself. If you need to walk away, tell me and we’ll do it. That is in our power – your power.” Her pristinely white, pearly teeth were on display as she looked deep into your worried eyes. “We can do this, okay?”

We. I’m not alone. 

You’d never had a single doubt about Gia. Of course you trusted her. But. . .maybe the true problem was trusting yourself. . . Over the past several months, you were finding that to be a bit more difficult. 

But, Gia was right. You had to put some trust in yourself to know when you needed to step away. You could do it. You had to.

And knowing that she had a plan and had done it so many times before. . . Those were relieving thoughts, to say the very least. She knew what she was doing, and she knew what was best for you. 

I can do this, you recited to yourself. I can. . .

You sighed, out of both relief and persistent worry. “I trust you,” you told her, another somewhat forced smile following your words. “And I’ll learn to trust myself. . . I’ll try my best,” you grinned sheepishly. “We’ve got this.”

“Good deal,” she responded with a far more sincere smile than you could offer. “There’s just one more thing we need to do before we get started.” 

She clicked her iPad closed, wheeling back toward her desk, reaching down in the same drawer she pulled the device from. Only this time, she pulled out a large legal style, white notepad, and a large box of Crayola markers. Lastly, she grabbed a flawlessly sharpened pencil from the ceramic baby blue jar, covered in white roses, next to her keyboard. 

What could she be up to? You wondered, eyebrows drawn together. 

“I need you to describe something for me, something visual to lock any horrible memory away in.” She took a sip of her tea, which sat atop her desk, before she stood up from her chair. She came to sit directly next to you on her couch. The smell of eucalyptus that swirled off of her, from her perfume, was soothing. “You need to give it lots of detail, make it unique. I’ll even draw it for you,” she held up the notepad, pointing to it with a gentle smile. “Seeing it visually will help you when it’s time to lock the memories away mentally. Some people want a box, a filing cabinet, a treasure chest,” she laughed, and you giggled at that one, too. Jake would love that one. Buried treasure, like his pirate documentaries. . . “Whatever you want. You just tell me exactly what you want it to look like.” 

Something about this felt a little silly, but you understood the purpose for it. Just having a place to put the memories after you visited them, it felt like closure. A special sort of closure at the end of every session, just like your safe place felt like closure. . .

And then, you knew what you wanted it to look like. Saw the image, clear as day, in your mind. It felt significant to you, it felt right. There was no question. 

But, you had a thought.

“Would–would it be okay if I drew it?” You questioned carefully. 

She eagerly handed you the notepad, markers and pen with a huge smile. “Absolutely. That’s called trusting yourself big time, girly. This box is a special one!” Her voice was wet as she sniffled. “I’m not supposed to get so emotional with my clients, but I’m proud of you. You’re making great strides and we’ve barely started.”

“Thanks,” you replied, feeling a bit encouraged, your own throat tight as you reviewed her once more with a glance. 

Then, sticking the tip of your tongue out from the corner of your mouth, you looked down at the paper, and began. 

A small, wooden box was all you could see in your mind. So, you drew it out, as best you could, given your lack of artistic abilities.

One side, then the other, the bottom, the top. . .

Before you knew it, you had a perfect, rectangular box on the stripped notebook paper. Then, it was time for the important part: the details. 

There was only one element that felt right — felt safe — to decorate the box with. 

Scouring through the markers, you found two perfect shades of purple at the bottom — two very different shades, to add depth. You weren’t an artist, really, but you could pretend for the box’s sake. 

Then, you searched for the greenest green you could find. One more marker in a shade of dark brown, and you were ready to draw the box exactly as you saw it in your mind. 

You began drawing tiny individual stalks of lavender on top of the box. You filled in their blooms with the purples, drawing their stems underneath with the green. Their placement may have seemed scattered across the top, but you kept going. To you, it made sense. And that was all that mattered. 

One bloom in the top left corner, one diagonal from it in the bottom right corner. Then, there was one on the bottom left going straight up and down, with a slight curve to the stem. . . And one more, laying on its side directly in the middle. . .

It was perfect. Just as you’d imagined.

You filled in the blank spaces with the brown marker, immulating the antiqued, stained mahogany wood you were envisioning. 

And once you filled it all in, your vision had come to life right before your own eyes. It was the ideal picture of what you saw, and despite the fact that you were no artist, it was beautiful. You loved it. Looking at it forced emotions you weren’t expecting, so many big emotions that begged to be surfaced. 

And for whatever reason, looking at it made you think of the baby. This beautiful, hand drawn box held a strange connection to the life you and Jake had created, though you couldn’t explain how. . . 

But, you felt it. You felt it so strongly. 

“Lavender means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” Gia asked you, smiling and wiping away a stray tear that sat on top of her highlighted cheekbone. “It’s very lovely, y/n. And I’m so glad that you drew it.”

You contemplated her question about lavender. You’d never considered just how prevalent it was in all of your happy places. . . But, it was. It meant so much. . . 

Who knew that such a simple plant could bring you so much comfort? So much peace? 

A tear came to your eye at the thought of how special the plant had become to you. . . It was really no secret why it’d become special. 

Gia leaned over, giving you a small side hug, but didn’t linger before making her way back to her chair. She sat at the edge of it, elbows placed on both knees as she clasped her hands at the front. 

“How are we feeling?” She asked, sniffling once more as she looked you directly in the eyes. “A little better now that we have our box?”

“Yes,” you nodded, wiping under your eye to rid yourself of any tears. “The box idea is genius.”

“The technical term is containment. Again, it’s simply where the client creates a space to store the distressing memories. I want to emphasize that the memories aren’t coming back to control you, rather you’re the one controlling them. And, the box’s containment of the unpleasant memories gives you a little extra control over these memories and the emotions attached to them. They’re yours to deal with,” she explained softly. “You done with the notebook and pens?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nodded eagerly, handing the materials back to her. You went over her words in your head, extra control. . . the idea of that sounded wonderful to you. Those words aided in lifting a decent amount of weight from your nervous body. 

She took the materials from you, and as she did so, you decided to take the paddles in your hands once more, feeling much more confident. 

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, rolling back in her tufted chair to put the markers and pencils back on the desk. “I definitely can’t take credit for the idea of containing those horrendous memories in a certain area. . . but it has proven wonderfully effective for every client I’ve practiced this form of therapy with,” she explained further, coming back to sit in front of you, wheeling smoothly back towards you. When she was about two feet away from you, she stopped and observed the picture of your box, the notepad still in her lap. “Do you have a clear idea of the box in your mind?”

“The clearest,” you affirmed, no question in your mind of the precise placement of each piece of lavender. The exact color of mahogany that you’d depicted for the wood, sealed in your brain. 

“Wonderful. Well, I’m going to hold it so I can get a good idea of it; just in case you need help finding it at any point,” she said, eyes scanning the page as she spoke. “I’d love to see this in real life – it’s gorgeous.”

“I think so, too,” you grinned, eyes twinkling. And, suddenly, your body felt light in a way that could only indicate one thing. . . you knew there was no time like the present. “I’m ready.” 

Gia looked up at your words, her own eyes donning a spark as she tucked the notepad onto her lap. “If you’re ready, I’m ready,” she smiled kindly, her eyes trustworthy and open for opportunity. “First things first. Make yourself as comfortable as you need to. Sit, lay down. . . it’s up to you.”

You kept yourself upright on the couch, allowing yourself to sink back into its cushions a bit more. And for some reason, the thought of crossing your legs, criss-cross applesauce came to mind. So, you did just that, bringing your legs up to the couch and criss-crossing one over the other. You looked at your belly as you did. A timid grin crept along your lips at the thought of knowing you didn't have much longer until you’d no longer be able to do this. 

Thank you, sweet baby.

With one deep breath in, you felt your stiff limbs loosen with the comfort of the new position you found yourself in. And with the exhale, you looked down at the paddles in your hands, holding them probably a bit too tight as you felt your nails digging into your clammy palms. Still yet, you kept your grip, somehow feeling a bit more secure that way. 

“Nice and comfy?” Gia asked, her warm, knowing smile aiding in relaxing your body even more. 

You looked down at your hands, smoothing your thumbs over the cool plastic of the paddles. You knew this was it, that this could begin to change a lot; it could change everything. The thought of change was a frightening one, but with this change would come a healing journey like you’d never known. For you, for the baby, for  Jake, even. . .

“As I’ll ever be,” you confidently answered. You were ready to embark on this expedition of mending. 

“Perfect,” she said, her voice soft, reassuring. “Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths. Let yourself relax.”

You did as she said, and with one breath in through your nose and blowing it slowly out of your mouth, you closed your eyes. 

You felt your chest rise and fall with each breath. You began to breathe deeper and easier the longer your eyes were closed. 

“Good job.” You heard her sweet voice, feeling comforted by the simple fact that you knew she was still with you. Though you could no longer see her, you felt her. And that was more than enough. “I’ll start the paddles off slowly, just like last time. Turning them on in 3, 2. . .” 

Your body instinctively jolted at the light humming sensation you felt against your palms, your eyes closing a little tighter. But, you quickly remembered the feeling from last time and it didn’t take you very long to get used to it. You even found a little relief in the alternating vibrations. Their consistent rhythm worked to ease your mind. Your eyes, though still closed, instinctively followed in the back and forth motion of the pulsations in your palms. 

“Does this speed feel okay?” You heard her ask, her voice suddenly becoming more distant as you let yourself focus on the steady thrumming of the paddles. 

“Yes,” you whispered, the sound of your voice echoing as though you were in a long, narrow tunnel. “Feels good.” 

“We’ll start with establishing your safe place, y/n. Go ahead and start walking to it. Lead the way.” 

My safe place. 

Suddenly, as though the mere mention of it had  some sort of ability to transcend you there, you began feeling the familiar cool breeze against your face. Faint sounds of the birds singing in the forest of trees filled your ears, becoming a bit louder as you found your footing against the lightly dampened grass beneath your feet. “The birds,” you felt yourself say. “They’re singing, their chirps are becoming clearer now.” 

“Wonderful.” Her voice was heard all around you, echoing against the wind. “Tell me what you see.” 

Your eyes, still physically shut, began to open in your mind. They squinted at the bright, warm rays from the sun. And as you turned your face upwards toward the sky, you could feel the radiance of the rays against your skin. 

And, as you peered a few feet ahead of you, you witnessed a beautiful family of deer were perusing the lush meadow. 

“The sun. . . It’s so beautiful and bright, but it doesn’t hurt to look at it,” you shared with her, squinting towards it with no negative effect, shocked by the fact. “And the deer. So innocent and pure. They’re so near to me, but not scared of me at all.”

“You’re doing amazing, y/n. Keep going, tell me what you can touch, what you can smell.” Her voice carried throughout the trees like the wind, meshing beautifully with the songs of the birds. 

Bending down, you ran your fingers through the dewy blades of grass. They felt cool, soft. Like a blanket of emerald velvet. “The grass. It’s soft, a little wet.”

And then, the smells. The fragrance of freshly rain coated grass, as though an evening shower had just finished nourishing the ground before you’d arrived. The rainfall, sustaining the life of the pasture, the jude green grasses, the illustrious amethyst plant surrounding you. . . 

The divine aroma from your favored flower overwhelmed your senses in the most alluring way. The bloomed field, surrounding you, holding you carefully in its gentle grasp. 

“The lavender,” you felt yourself say, eagerly. “I can smell it, so fresh and clean; the sense of calm it brings me. . .” 

You then felt the paddles pick up in their speed, ever so slightly, but enough that you could tell.

“Oh yes, your lavender,” Gia hushed as she positively tracked with you. 

My lavender. 

Gently, you sat your body down in the midst of the flowers. And once you did, you felt the urge to place your hands against your tummy, to feel the baby, just like last time. 

There you are, right where you belong, you thought when you felt the smooth bump beneath your hands. 

You felt nearly complete, nearly, but you knew something was still missing—someone. 

And just when you started to look beyond the stems of lavender to find him, there he was. 

Clad in the very same navy blue, three piece suit you’d seen him in the first time. The rays from the sun bounced off of his chestnut locks, his tanned skin radiant and glowing. 

With a soft, lopsided smile, he slowly walked toward you. The vision of him, walking amongst the stalks of lavender as they gently swayed from the light breeze against his calves. . . You felt yourself sigh with relief. 

This was safe. This was home. 

Once he approached you in what felt like no time at all, he laid down right beside you, extending one arm out for you to join him. And as you did, letting yourself at last melt into his warm embrace, you were finally there. 

Your safest place.

“I’m here now,” you muttered, feeling yourself smile warmly as you did. “And I’m safe.” 

“Enjoy it for a moment, let it sink in, put yourself at ease.” You heard Gia’s voice, but the more you focused on Jake, the more distant she became. 

You found yourself gazing into his eyes, sparkling like golden gems, as he cradled you in the crook of his arm. 

In his amber-brown eyes, you saw your haven, your sanctuary of serenity. 

A gentle smile graced his lips as he reached up, tenderly brushing a few strands of hair behind your ear. “It’s time to step away now, y/n,” he told you. Though, you knew it was truthfully Gia telling you, you heard Jake’s voice. You watched his lips move as he spoke, “You can do this. I’m right here.” 

Again, you knew the words were coming from Gia. But, hearing them in his voice, as much as you didn’t want to leave him, it was the final push you needed. 

It was time. 

With only a bit of resistance, you sat up, slowly standing to your feet and urged yourself forward towards the unknown. When you looked back, you saw Jake standing gracefully amongst the fragrant blooms of your lavender. 

Home, you thought. He looks like home. 

With one final sigh, and with the most strength you were sure you’d ever mustered, you walked away from him. 

Your hands found your belly for some extra courage as you stepped away, everything turning black for a moment once you got far enough. But, the further you went, a tiny, dim light caught your attention. It initially seemed like miles away, but with every step you took, it became worlds closer. 

A lamp. You could finally see it. It was old, dusty. It was sitting atop a table, from what you could tell. . . 

With one more step, the full picture started to come to you. You’d guessed right — it sat on top of a round, wooden table that only had one leg in the center, making it lean a little to the left. The white, canvas lampshade was stained so badly. . . 

The stains were reminiscent of those that come from years of smoking cigarettes near it. 

In fact, you were shocked that you could tell it had ever been white. 

As the image became more clear, you saw a black ash tray next to the lamp, full of cigarette butts, all but confirming your cigarette theory. You could smell the smoke, too, as though someone had just finished one off. The stench was putrid, the chemically treated tobacco mixed disgustingly with the other trash laying on the table. 

To the right, you saw a sofa. The blue cloth over the cushions, stained just like the lamp, was tattered and worn. It was full of holes. Tiny, black holes. Cigarette burns?

God, the smell was nearly becoming too much. It was so strong, potent. Cigarettes and filth. Utter filth. Filth that you suddenly began to remember being suffocated by as a child.  

No wonder you liked things so pristinely clean. . .

The shag carpet beneath your feet felt like it had never been vacuumed after years of wear. It was littered with half empty beer cans, more cigarette butts, rat droppings. . .

God — the fucking smell. A triggering smell—one that had your stomach turning to the point that vomit rose in your throat. 

The paddles sped up a bit more, much more noticeably this time as they forced your brain to grasp what you were experiencing. 

“Tell me what you see, y/n. Tell me where you are.” It was no longer Jake’s voice that you were hearing, it was once again Gia’s. And though you missed the sound of his, you were so happy to hear her, reminding you that she was still there. 

This was the past. Gia was the present. You were with Gia.

You stepped to the side, glancing around the room you were standing in, trying with all of your might to not allow the stench to make you sick. 

“It’s—I’m in a living room, I think. . .?” You noticed a television set, one from the late nineties with a built-in VCR, sitting on top of a makeshift table made of three small slabs of particle board. 

The more you looked around, you noticed there was only one average-sized window in the whole room, next to the white front door. The door was scuffed to hell and looked ready to give at any second. The blinds attached to the window were ripped to shreds, hardly hanging onto the frame. 

“Y-yeah, it’s a living room. It’s. . .It was our living room. One of them, at least. I’m fully beginning to. . . To recognize it. . .”

You’d lived in so many homes as a child, seen many living rooms. But this one, this home and the walls surrounding you. . .this one was different. While most homes from your childhood didn’t leave you with happy memories, this one felt—evil. This had been a personal hell.

Anxiety, heavy sadness. . . this room was wrought with it.

And as you heard a certain laugh, deep and throaty, from the next room over, your stomach churned and your mind went fuzzy. That sound. It was vile and thick with too many years of smoking. That particular laugh was associated with ugliness and gut-wrenching fear. 

The man that the laugh was attached to. . . This was his house. You remembered that now. There was no safety here. This place was only associated with feeling powerless, forgotten, and lonely. 

The paddles wiggled in your hands, the vibrations reaching your worn nerves.

Elsie was here, though. Somewhere. You knew that. 

And Elsie had helped in making it less lonely — just knowing she was in this past-tense moment filled you with ease. Your sister was here. 

Though, you knew for past Elsie, she was still trapped. Even though she comforted this adult version of you that was invading. . . there was still no escape for little girl Elsie. 

This place had been desolate, with no chance for escape. You’d been tied here by invisible rope.

Fuck. Where was your sister? You could feel her near, but she wasn’t in the living room with you. Your skin prickled at what she could be experiencing. . . You couldn’t fully wrap your brain around it. 

But this was the past. Right now, you just needed to focus on your surroundings.

Living room. The living room. 

Your mind was quickly skirting back to your present placement. And, rather than standing, you suddenly realized you were sitting on the ground. Strangely, your hands in the memory were free of the paddles, tucked safely in your lap, shaking. . . And not daring to touch the dirty, shaggy carpet. 

For a split second, you wondered. . . Why were you not sitting on the couch or a chair? And why were you sitting in a place you felt you couldn’t move from? Was this how you’d been placed originally? In the past? 

You observed the wobbly dinner table in front of you and realized it had zero chairs. And on a second glance around the room, you noticed something you hadn’t before. . . a sleeping form on the couch. 

So, it seemed, with the occupied couch being the only other piece of furniture in the living room besides the table. . . the floor had been your only option. 

You used the unconscious state of the room’s other occupant to your advantage and turned a bit to observe the person. The person’s face wasn’t visible and their body was covered in a blanket filled with holes and torn more than it wasn’t. But. . . You could see hair. 

Blonde. Yellow-blonde. Box-dyed with the cheapest dye. 

Long hair, ratty and knotted to the point of almost no fixing it. The way the strands shone a little bit under the dim lighting from the old, dusty lamp showed you it was very oily as well. . . It wasn’t a healthy shine. 

The person on the couch, from what you could see, was far from healthy in any capacity. The body looked malnourished through the blanket’s holes. At closer inspection, you noticed an arm dangling off the sofa, peeking from the blanket. 

The arm was littered in tiny holes and scars. . . from heroin injections, multiple cigarette burns. . . Then there was the red, irritated acne that littered the pale skin, between the various marks. 

Poor thing. What a dreaded way to live life. . . Your heart broke in your chest and tears sprung to your tired eyes as your hand clutched at your tummy. 

You could do that in the memory. You were you in the present, yet placed like you’d been in the past. . . so weird.

All you knew was you had a sense to protect the untouched life in your womb. The feeling of being a protector to your child was unparalleled to anything in this moment. . . You would never let the little life inside of you bear witness to anything like you had as a child. . .

Like your current situation. 

Or, past situation, rather. . . This was not real. Not in the present. This was controlled — controllable.

The paddles jolted in your real hands, helping you to center you.

“Y/n,” Gia’s voice broke through your psyche, touching your brain delicately. You let out a sigh of relief at the sound of her soft spoken tone. “Can you hear me, girly?”

You nodded, but weren’t sure if she could see it or if the action was only visible in your dreamlike stupor. This was so weird. . . 

So, you decided to respond the best you could with words. “Y—yeah,” you stuttered out, blinking rapidly as you tried (and failed) to keep tears at bay. “This is. . . So familiar, yet so forgotten. . .,” your voice faded out. 

Your eyes in the memory were now pinched shut, trying to keep the laughter you could still hear from the kitchen (because, yes, you somehow knew exactly where it was coming from) far away. 

But it just seemed to be getting closer. . .

“Tell me where you are, y/n,” Gia requested, soothing, yet strong. “Take me with you. You are going to be okay.”

“I—I can’t—,” gasping, you shook your head. 

Willing the menacing, thick chuckle to fade, you squinted your eyes open slowly, tried to refocus on the living room to tell Gia what you could. Your hands still held your belly, but your thighs came closer to your chest. You wanted to scrunch up and stay in your bubble. 

“Y/n.”

Your blood ran cold and your skin prickled harshly with goosebumps. Fear. Terror. Dread.

The voice wasn’t Gia’s. It wasn’t Jake’s. No. It was coming from behind you. The person on the couch. The worn down, baby blue fabric couch. The navy blue patterns of it, a distant memory, washing back quickly like a flood. . . 

This was definitely a memory. A real thing that had happened in the past. This had happened before. It was deeply repressed. 

A dark memory. Bad. So, so bad.

You felt dirty for more reasons than one now. . . 

Looking down, you noticed your outfit had changed. Though you still looked as you currently did in 2022, you were wearing an outfit you had as a child. The attire made your skin crawl. 

This pajama set, you were made to wear it more often than not.

A tiny, satin set. Too small for you to properly fit into. How old were you? Nine? Ten? Was this right before you went to live with. . .?

“Pig.”

No. Not that nickname. No no no.

You hadn’t heard that since your mother had called you–.

The person on the couch.

“Piggy.”

Did you have it in yourself to face her? Could you? What would happen if you didn’t? No. No.

You had to. The baby, safe in your belly. . . that baby needed a mom who could face her demons and not fall to them. 

. . .Fall to them like the shell of a woman, on the couch behind you, had fallen to hers. 

You felt crippled with fear, but brave beyond comparison all at once. . .

The steady tremors from the paddles in your hands were the best help you could’ve had in the moment, reminding you of your power. . .

And, once you’d given yourself the strength to swivel your body to meet her eyes. . . there she was. 

A woman whose face had become a shadow since she’d left you. The moment she’d left you. . .a mess of snot and tears, head throbbing as it laid on Elsie’s shoulder, desperate to understand a mother that had never seemed to love you. 

Your eyes were her eyes. Thankfully, that was about where the similarities in your features stopped. 

She was paler than you. Her lips, thin and cracked from lack of hydration where yours were full. Her cheekbones were sharp and protruded more than they should. . . Your cheekbones, defined, yet concealed under soft skin you took very good care of . . . 

And her face. . . It also lacked freckles. You had the tiniest spatter of light freckles that sat at the tops of your cheeks. Your freckles, mimicking angel kisses, which stayed mostly hidden save for the summertime when they’d make an appearance after exposure from the sun. Her skin was washed out, lacking color. It was as if she hadn’t even been exposed to the sun for a long, long time. . .

Perhaps you might’ve looked more like her than you could tell at this moment. But, right now, all you saw was a sunken face, holding more wrinkles and lines than a woman her age should hone. And, her eyes,  even if they looked like yours initially, were glassy and hollow from too many drugs. . . 

Right now, they held uncertainty and a rage that was becoming more and more apparent the longer you looked into her eyes. . .

She looked lost. . . Confused, yet furious. 

The fury, pointed towards you. 

“Get. Up,” your mother ordered, voice cracking a bit, spit flying past her chapped lips. The tone of her voice. . . it made your heart jump into your throat. “Do your job, Pig.”

Before you could respond, you felt heavy footsteps make their way into the living room, shaking the weak structure of the small home that seemed to be falling apart around you. 

“Move, you lazy drug slut,” a booming voice growled. You knew it was aimed towards your mother. “Give little Piggy some space to sit next to Mr. Morgan, hm?”

Mr. Morgan.

The paddles buzzed in your hands, re-centering you. 

You didn’t dare look at the man who’d entered the room behind you, knowing it was the same man attached to the laughter from the kitchen. 

So, it was only out of your peripheral vision when you noticed him round to the other side of you, getting close to your mom. The next thing you saw, faded from the corner of your eye, were fat, sausage-like fingers reaching to yank the thin blanket off your mother. The unmasked view of her figure broke your heart further, her body shaking, bones on full display through her papery skin, begging for a fix. . . 

It didn’t take long for those same fingers to forcefully clutch her shoulder and yank her up. You could’ve sworn you heard the bones in her shoulder crack, but she barely let out a yelp. It was more of a tired groan, eyes closed and eyebrows drawn in with irritation towards being disturbed. 

But, she shook more. . . Her bones, most likely rattling under her skin. And this time, you knew it was more from nerves and terror, than lack of drugs. She was just trying to play tough.

Mr. Morgan (the name, making bile rise in your throat) came to sit at the end of the couch, but your eyes once again drew shut and your body became rigid. Even if you were facing the couch, you still only kept your body towards your mother’s. She wasn’t safe, by any means. But she wasn’t Mr. Morgan. 

You couldn’t look at him. The vile smell of him alone, sweat and grime from lack of showering. . . You were going to hurl on the spot. The way the nausea quickly began to rise in the hollow of your throat, you knew there was no time to get out now. . . Your heartbeat was thrumming so vigorously in your chest, you felt like you were going to choke on its strength.

Then the ugly, bitter laughter was back again. . . Right in front of you this time, your mother moaning next to him. . .

A distant beeping in the background. . . what? Where was that coming–?

The intensity of the paddles increased, the vibrations working to balance you amidst the fear.

“Open your eyes, Pig,” Mr. Morgan grunted, reprimanding you. His voice was stark and loud against the decaying walls of the living room. You winced with what you imagined to come, your heart accelerating and your blood running colder than cold. “Open. Your. Fucking. Eyes, my little whor–.”

The paddles were working so hard to bring you back, but you couldn’t–.

“Y/n.” Gia’s voice rang out through the disgusting home, flowing into your ears, reassuring you. “It’s time to leave, y/n. Find your safe place.”

You didn’t have to be told twice, not with the tears streaming down your face and the way your breath was stuck in your lungs. Your chest stung from the way your heart rate wouldn’t let up. . . the way your heart raced, unrelenting and beating harder every time. . . . The pain was excruciating, making you want to keel over from the intensity. 

There wasn’t a memory of leaving the room, you just knew you had left as you ran. 

You ran as fast as your legs could carry you, eyes still shut to avoid being used by him–Mr. Morgan. God. You hated that man. You hated your mother. 

But, you weren’t with them anymore. The rotting smell of the home and the body odor that reeked from the two people in your vision – it was all gone. You were out. So, you decided to open your eyes. You had to open them to find the place you’d created for a time just like this. . . 

Your place. Your home. The field of lavender. Jake. Peaceful serenity, awaiting you amongst the birds chirping and the light blue skies. . .

So, with eyes open and tears streaming down your cheeks, you decided you needed to be there now. Now now now now. . .

And before you could request it any further, your feet were touching the lush grass and the skies were clear and powdery blue above you. . .

“Are you safe, y/n?” Gia asked, her voice much clearer when you were in the field, surrounded by nature. Your sanctuary. 

“Yes,” you breathed, voice cracking just a little on the word. You hadn’t spoken for a while. . . Too scared to do so. Clearing your throat, you tried once more. “Yes. Yes, I’m safe. I’m in my safe place. The lavender. The beautiful, tall trees filled with green leaves. The breeze is perfectly warm against my face. . .”

“Wonderful,” Gia said, sounding relieved and stoic all at once. “You are okay, girly. You are okay. It’s not your current reality. It’s not right now. This is right now. You are safe.”

Yes. I’m safe. 

Your breathing was coming much easier and your heart wasn’t pounding in your ears any longer. 

Your hands found your belly, the sweetest little round bump.  But where was. . .?

Then, you felt him. Jake. 

Solid and sure behind you, his chest meeting your back. His arms, coming to wrap around you, cradling you and the belly that held his baby. Your head, falling of its own accord to lay back on his shoulder. . . 

You were finally able to relax. Let go. The tears poured from your eyes, wetting your cheeks with steady tracks.

“Shhh,” Jake shushed you, the minty smell of his toothpaste lingering on his breath as it washed over your features. The sandalwood-vanilla of his cologne was reminiscent of heaven, you were sure of it. “It’s okay, baby.”

He swayed you a little, your eyes falling closed in peaceful surrender to him and this moment. . .

“Y/n, I want you to think of your box,” you heard the words, knowing it was Gia. But, you felt Jake saying it. Even if she was the one saying the words, you wanted him to help guide you, too. Your mind was a funny place. 

His voice kept soothing you, “Think of the box and open it. Open it and place the memory you stepped into today inside of it. Secure that memory inside of the box.”

So, with one fleeting glance at the disgusting past you’d had to re-experience today, you mentally opened the lid to the box. And, as the lid opened, you let the people and the stingy place flow quickly into the sturdy wooden structure of the box. 

You could have spit on the people and the place and the smells. . . Fuck it all. 

The sureness of the box truly calmed you as the last little bit of the memory faded into the box. 

“Tuck it away in your box. Just keep it there until you’re ready to revisit it again. . .,” Gia counseled, her words yet again came through as if Jake were saying them. His breath was warm against the column of your throat, lips near to your ear. “You have control of it, y/n.”

Once you knew it was all inside, you let the lid click shut. The little pieces of lavender you imagined to be skillfully painted atop the box assured you that it would all be over soon. 

Beep beep beep beep. The beeping again. Familiar. You’d heard it momentarily at the disgusting, decrepit house. What was it?

“Y/n,” you heard Gia again, her words no longer masked by Jake’s voice. “Are you ready to come back to the office?”

As much as you wanted to never leave the man who still held you, you knew that the sooner you left the safe place, the sooner you could actually see him. He was waiting for you. In the lobby. In the present. 

“Yeah,” you sighed with a sniffle, most of your tears dry after the safety you’d felt in the field of lavender. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

“I’m right here with you,” Gia assured you, her voice the closest it had been since initially closing your eyes. 

You closed your eyes once more, your body feeling lighter. Letting yourself sink into real time, you felt the soft, camel leather of the couch under you, around you. Then came the smell of Gia’s essential oils, filtering in through your senses. Things were okay. 

When your eyes cracked open, so tentative and slow, Gia was ready and waiting with open eyes. 

But the beeping. . . It was still happening — it was incessant. And it was fully apparent now that the sound was coming from your belt bag, hanging on Gia’s office door handle. 

Your heart monitor. 

Shit.

“How long has that been going off?” You blanched, eyes bugged as you got off the couch to grab your bag from the handle. Though, your legs were weaker than you expected, body worn down. It forced you to sit back down to gain your wherewithal.

Noticing this, Gia stuck a hand out to get you to pause from trying again. “I will grab the bag,” she soothed. “You stay there. Give yourself time to adjust to the present time. You’ve been through it, babe.”

All you could do was nod and swallow thickly, your heart no longer beating hard enough to make the phone go off. But apparently it had accelerated at some point. . . 

And then you remembered. 

Mr. Morgan. He’d made your heart rate go ballistic. 

When he’d approached, commanded you to open your eyes, and almost called you that horrible name. . . it had gone insane. 

Your chest had been in so much pain, and you could remember hearing the incessant beeping, now. . .

“Fuck, Gia,” you combed a hand through your hair. “My heart . . . I remember. . . my chest was hurting like a bitch.”

Gia inhaled deeply. “Yeah. . . You know, how about I hold the phone that tracks it from here on out? To keep an eye on your heart rate?” She suggested, raising a brow as she walked back to you with the belt bag. Raising a brow, she eyed you as she got close enough to hand your belongings over to you. “We need to be aware of your health and the baby’s first and foremost, before anything else.”

You swallowed with a slight nod, not wanting to see where your heart had skyrocketed to. But you knew you had to see it. So, you unzipped your bag and shakily got your monitor phone out.

When you slid the screen open to check, your breath caught in your throat. Tears welled in your eyes at the very large number, flashing at you in red. 

Shit. 185. What the fuck?

That could have gotten really bad, really fast if Gia hadn’t stopped you when she did.

“So. . . What had it gotten to?” Gia questioned carefully, wide eyes serious and ready to help. 

You observed her for a second, not wanting to divulge just how high it had gotten for one reason in specific. . . The fear that Gia would make you stop EMDR if she knew just how high it had gotten — that possibility kept your lips sealed.

“Girly, I really feel it’s incredibly important that we keep track of that. I didn’t want to be invasive while you were under, but I heard it and I knew what it was. . .,” Gia tried to counsel you, taking your skeptical gaze as you finding her invasive. “I really didn’t like not knowing what your heart rate was. It’s best we stay aware of that. We have to be so careful of that, girly.”

You wanted to tell her. Duh. Why wouldn’t you want to? You told her everything else. . . The possibility of not being able to—.

“We will still continue our EMDR, y/n,” Gia grinned warmly with a wink. “I know that’s what you’re worried about. . .”

Your mouth puckered, as you took in a deep breath, gawking at the tall blonde across from you. 

You couldn’t help the bubble of a laugh that spurted from your lips, in spite of your worried thoughts. You were in awe of your therapist’s intuition. “How did you know?” You questioned, already mostly knowing the answer.

The answer was: people in this profession were really very incredible. . . And Gia — she, in particular, was so empathetic and so aware of everything that mattered to you. . .

“It’s my job to tune in to that shit,” she grinned, sitting back in her rolling chair, one leg crossed over the other. 

After sharing a smirk with her, you decided you might as well tell her. You were nearing the end of your time, and you assumed she still wanted to be filled in on what had happened during your time under. 

“My BPM was. . . in the 180s,” you divulged, wary of her reaction. “That’s um—that’s really high,” you tagged on to the end, blowing out a breath, still shocked at the number yourself.

“Ho-ly fuck,” Gia stated, eyes wide and mouth in a straight line as she shook her head. “No shit that’s high.”

“We’ll figure it out?” you stated the question, hoping it would be ammunition for Gia to agree. 

“Of course,” she nodded adamantly. Sitting up in her chair, she leaned forward. Her elbows, on the ends of her thighs, near her knee caps. “When do you turn it in? How long do we have with it?”

“I turn it in next week,” you answered, curious where she was going. “Hopefully I’ll get some results and sure answers. . .” Trailing off, you decided to shut up so she could get to her point. 

“Well. . .,” she started, rubbing her palms together, eyes glancing down and back to you, “Would you be opposed to me attaching another monitor to you during our sessions? After that one is turned in?”

“That’s a great plan,” you answered, nodding with pursed lips. “Sounds safe.” Though, you paused. One more question. “And you’ll keep watch of it next time?”

“If that’s what you want from me, I’d love to be able to help you in that way,” she answered with a reassuring sureness in her tone. 

“I do want that,” you replied with a sheepish grin. “I’d appreciate it.”

“Of course, girly,” Gia smiled, lopsided and full of ease. “We’ll make sure to get you through this therapy the safest we possibly can. Gotta protect you and that baby.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

After filling her in on everything from your EMDR vision, she’d given you a few more pieces of therapeutic wisdom and advice. Little things to follow if the memories came back with a vengeance. 

But, you’d gone more than five minutes over your session’s time at that point, pushing her other appointment back. 

So, you didn’t get long before the two of you had to bustle out. You’d been about eight minutes past session end time when you officially exited the small room, the session having just ended. 

A long fucking session.

Your body was extremely weighed down by fatigue and exhaustion. So, when you finally connected with Jake, you sunk happily into his warm, safe embrace. 

It seemed walking directly into Jake’s arms was exactly what your body longed for after leaving Gia’s office. You’d had little to no choice in where your body had guided you.

He had already been standing, waiting for you. His amber-brown eyes, wide open and full of readiness to help you. He’d seemed anxious to see you. You could tell as much by the tapping of his foot, the way he’d been worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, the wrinkle of his brows. . .

So, of course, as soon as you approached, his arms had widened to welcome you in. 

Surprisingly, you hadn’t cried when you met his arms. . . Honestly, it was probably because you’d exhausted your tear ducts during your session. And all that you felt now was pure numbness. You didn’t know how to feel – just knew that you were tired and needed someone to be close to.

And Jake was the person you wanted most. 

Once safe in his embrace, you didn’t have the mental energy to even think about how it would look to Gia – but you knew she’d understand. 

You felt Gia come up behind you, even halfway heard her introducing herself to Jake. 

And even though you were out of it, you still heard Jake respond kindly, hearing the smile in his voice. When he moved his hand to shake hers, you didn’t turn around, just kept your face tucked into his shoulder, one of his arms still tightly hugging you to him. The pressure was really nice – it really calmed you down to feel so secure with him. 

It felt like the field of lavender, but this was really real – and that made it inexplicably better. 

Thankfully since you’d quickly scheduled the next session in Gia’s office, you didn’t have to wait much longer to head home. You didn’t want to leave his embrace, but you ended up turning out of Jake’s arms to tell Gia goodbye. 

When you reached forward to give her a hug, she whispered calmly in your ear. “You’re safe. Everything is okay in the here and now. I’m proud of you, y/n. You are already making great strides.”

After telling her a quiet ‘thank you’, you turned to Jake. 

“I’m ready when you are,” he assured you, lips turned up in an easy grin. His eyes were soft in a way that showed you he really was ready to be whatever you needed him to be. 

You didn’t need to be told again. You were ready for food and sleep. So, after the two of you waved to Gia over your shoulders,  Jake let you lead him out, opening the door for you from behind. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

When you snapped out of your daze and found a bit of energy, you decided to divulge to Jake just how high your heart rate had gotten during the session.

You had expected him to be a little worried on your behalf, but he’d gotten. . . really, really worried. You’d go so far as to call it a minor anxiety attack. 

His eyes had bugged, face had paled, and his breathing had gotten choppy. . . All signs of some serious anxiety on his end. 

His care for the situation was apparent, that much was for certain. He’d babbled in a rush of words – voiced a lot of concern on your behalf and the baby’s. . . Well, that was what you could catch in his raspy, frenzied tone. You’d missed a few things as he’d rushed the words out.

It was really sweet how much he cared. You had to work to keep the tiny grin off your face in response to his obviously sincere regard for your health (and the baby’s). You’d kept your quiet smile at bay the best you could and calmly reassured him that you were wearing a heart monitor for a reason – so the doctors could track those weird things and get down to the root of why your heart sucked ass at times. 

You’d explained that medical professionals had started dealing with it the night at the emergency room and would continue once your monitor got sent in within the next couple of weeks.

“I know today’s already been a lot, but do you have it in you to explain more about that night?” Jake asked, his breathing evening out as he rounded the curb, out of the office parking lot. “The night you went to the emergency room?”

“Yeah, totally,” you readily agreed, jumping at the opportunity to not think about the muddled images still flashing in your mind from your session. “Where do you want me to start?” You wondered aloud, peeking at him as you picked with a loose string on the seam of your leggings.

He cleared his throat in the way that indicated he was a little nervous. “What triggered it, exactly? Had you been okay at the bar that night? Was it because of something that had happened there?”

“It wasn’t really because of anything that happened at the bar, no,” you shook your head, looking down at the string you were pulling at, giving it a good yank to do away with it. “And I was kind of okay that night. . . Same as I’d been every other day around the time,” you laughed humorlessly, not missing those days at all. 

But, you couldn’t help reflecting on the events at the bar. . . since he'd brought it up. That night, just thinking of it still gave you butterflies. . . The way he’d feasted his eyes on you as your song played. . .

Stay focused, y/n.

“Um— during those earlier days, I’d had several days where I’d been really fuckin’ dizzy. . . could hardly eat most days, always nauseous and puking. . .,” you crinkled your nose at the thought, shivering at the memories. 

After getting over the thought of the constant vomiting, you stopped your train of thought to consider the fainting. All of the factors. You were not sure what to blame in particular. Though, you remembered Dr. Stevens’ opinion. 

“Honestly, more than one factor triggered it. . . but. . .,” you drew in a breath, pinching your eyes shut at the worst part of the night. “I actually blacked out and fucking fainted,” you cracked one eye open to look over at him to gauge his reaction.

“You blacked— you what?!” His voice rose a little bit at the idea, the car swerving the slightest bit when he glanced at you.

“Focus on the road!” You shook your head, eyes now opened wide at his swerve. However, you did find his reaction a bit funny. “I’m fine now, Jake,” you reassured, reaching over to give his arm one squeeze. 

But quickly, you placed your hand back in your lap to avoid any sort of awkwardness. 

You offered him a smile as your hand moved, looking up at him from your twitching thumbs, just as he glanced down at you. 

His eyebrows were still knit with worry when he faced the road again. “You’re sure?”

“Mostly,” you answered, thinking of the heart monitor’s job, peering down briefly to where it stayed on your chest. “They’re tracking my heart rate to make totally sure. And I’ve even kept an eye on my hemoglobin — which is doing much better, too. Not that you care about that part—.”

“I care about it all,” Jake interrupted, his tone insistent enough to make you pause and look over at him. 

Let him care, y/n. He wants to. . . Don’t tell him what he cares about and what he doesn’t. . .

From under your lashes, you studied him. You were glad he was now stopped at a light, giving you a little time to share a look with him. His eyes were full of warmth. . . The deep brown of his irises, capturing you. His eyes held yours so tenderly, desperate for you to understand he meant what he said.

And you did understand. You understood that he truly cared for you. . . and that his patience for you was incredible. You just felt completely undeserving of the amount of chances he’d given you after you’d hurt him so badly. 

The look in his eyes had you trapped, completely enamored by all of him. . . Your heart beat was pulsing in your ears, helping you to feel light as a feather under his stare. 

But, when a car honked to let you both know the light had turned green, it jolted you both, effectively tearing your focus from the other. He was driving again and you were back to looking through the windshield to continue your story. 

You cleared your throat to break up the air.

“We um— we checked all the boxes, you could say. The doctor was sure to put measures in place to keep an eye on all of the things that could have been a major issue to trigger that,” you spoke confidently, to give him affirmation that things were okay. “So, yes, I’m sure I’m fine now and I’m going to be fine in the future.”

Out of selfish desire, you let your line of sight float back to him. Yet again. It was just so easy to sit and admire his natural beauty. . .

Jake sucked in a breath, so deep from his chest. You could tell he was considering your words, one brow still arched in contemplation. 

“Okay,” he sighed his response, relief evident in his looser posture. He eased up his grip on the wheel, leaning back in the seat. You tried not to watch the way his jeans stretched over his lap. “So,” he started, “is there anything else you found out that night? A big, prevailing reason you quite literally blacked out?”

“The doctor I spoke to thinks it’s because of this underlying condition I most likely have — called POTS.”

“POTS?” He asked, his tone curious. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.”

“It’s just a blood circulation disorder. I think I’ve had it nearly all my life. But it can be brought on by stress and cause things like fainting. . .,” you trailed off, glancing down at your belly. “Which I was obviously feeling a lot of with the baby. I mean, talk about massive life change,” you smirked, rubbing the bump that was more and more noticeable every day. 

“And I was the only one who knew this giant thing for a bit. . . then only Elsie knew. And, yeah, when Josh found out, I was feeling a little better. Felt lighter. . .,” you paused, your next words, being important to you. “But I still wanted to tell you most,” your lips lifted in spite of yourself. “But, we weren’t really talking because of all the shit that happened between u–.”

You stopped yourself at that, though. Shit. Today didn’t really seem like the time to get into all of that. It had already been such a long day. 

The car stayed silent for a few beats. 

Once Jake started speaking again, your eyes found his handsome profile.

“Yeah. . .,” Jake offered in response to that, his jaw clenching. His eyes were dead-set on the road. The expression on his face, hard. Yet. . .it wasn’t angry. Not angry at all, just thoughtful. 

He seemed to be contemplating it all.

He proved you right with his next words, bringing you back. “I need you to know—I’m really fucking sorry for not being so present—for not noticing more. I wish I would’ve been more aware and been there for you. . . Shit, I should have noticed you weren’t eating normally and were constantly sick,” he rubbed his forehead once, jaw tight again as he spoke on the subject. “I was still just stuck in my own head over stuff — really hurt. I still am, I think. But, I also, more importantly, had no way of knowing that you were carrying my kid, so. . .,” he trailed off, clearing his throat. “So I didn’t watch too hard for things out of the ordinary — my mind was in other places.” 

Other places, your mind repeated, mocking you. Like Maya. . . 

Your stomach was still churning at the depressing thought of him having ignored you and still being hurt (albeit, you’d deserved it), when his voice echoed back through your train of thought. 

“I did notice you weren’t home that night, though. . . After dropping Maya off at her place, I got home and you weren’t there. I. . .,” he sniffed, running a nervous hand through his hair as he looked both ways to make a turn. “I panicked, noticed your chapstick and house key were on the ground outside — it made no fuckin’ sense. I called Josh to ask him where you were — assumed he’d know. And, he did. But he told me the bare fucking minimum. I didn’t even know you were at the emergency room. He just told me not to worry and cut me off with an ‘I love you’ before hanging up on me,” Jake rolled his eyes at the memory, fists gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter. “Now I know it’s because you obviously really needed him. . . But at that point, I was so pissed. Obviously, you were in some sort of bind and there was nothing I could do to help since we were. . .,” he let his train of thought fade into nothing. Your mind was a frenzy of everything he was telling you, but you tuned back in when he began speaking again. “And then your heart monitor came in the mail. . . I didn’t even think about how they could be connected. I just knew the very little Josh had told me from that night and then I saw a damn heart monitor show up. . . I was just super fucking confused and terrified for you. . . I was trying my best to connect all of the dots.”

“Well. . .,” you started, not sure if you should say what you were thinking. But still, you did. “It wasn’t really any of your business at that point. I didn’t want to make you— it was just a lot to process for me and we. . .,” you trailed off, at a loss. Still so tired from the session. “I don’t know. . . I had reasons.”

“I know, y/n,” he responded, voice tight with masked emotion. 

You didn’t know what to say after that. Your eyes were trained on what was outside the passenger side window.

The air in the car was dense, slightly awkward on your end. 

It was strange how weird things could feel after a damn conversation when, just a week ago in this very car, you’d had him in your mouth. 

It was slightly embarrassing that a hard conversation topic was what it took to make both of you freeze up. But, somehow, you could still find the wherewithal to have your mouth on his. . . Mhm.

That was what you got for making sex such a giant thing before. . . now you’d made that easy and everything else fucking taboo. 

But the sex had just been too good to not make it something you did all the damn time. . . 

God, you missed sex with him. . . Him, inside of you, his hips going at a perfect pace. . .

Thanks to your motherfucking hormones, you were back in the living room floor with him. . . So often, you went back to that one rainy morning with Aretha Franklin on the turntable. . .

The look on his face when you fucked him, one of your favorite sights. That morning, just like always, he’d watched you so closely. . . Your face, your breasts, your ass, or your pussy that was wrapped around him, so tight. 

As he fucked you so slow and purposeful, a hand raising your leg to get a better angle, he hit a secret spot inside of you. Your toes had curled as you whined his name.

And just as his name fell from your lips, he’d scrunched his brows, and let his mouth fall open with certain movements of his hips. His jaw, clenched, when you’d flex around him or biting his lip when you’d let out a shaky breath. . . 

“Y/n?”

“Yes?” You shook your head of the fucking delicious scene in your memories. 

Now was not the time. 

To show respect, you did your best to wipe the picture and put your full attention on him. You glanced at him. He looked so beautiful under the natural light of the early evening and the streetlights. And his hair looked so healthy and long. . .

“I’m not upset or anything that you kept any of it from me,” he ventured to explain, your mind coming back to the topic at hand. “I need you to know that.”

“You’ve kind of already told me all of this before,” you started with a smile, eyeing the radio for a bit. 

Music. You needed music. 

You began to mess with the buttons, turned down the volume, and hooked your phone up to the aux. “I know you, Jake,” you continued with a sigh, scrolling your playlists, finding a song you were suddenly craving to hear. “I know you well enough to know you aren’t upset with me for keeping it all from you for a bit. You have a good heart.”

“You give me too much credit,” he humorously laughed. “I’m not always so sure about how good I am these days — kind of always doubted that about myself and right now is no different.”

At his words and sound of disbelief, you looked over at him with a wrinkle in your brow. His own eyebrows were set with an odd, unreadable emotion. You hadn’t clicked the song to play yet. This was too important to not address.

“Jacob,” you said sternly. His eyes stayed glued to the busier street. “I don’t give you ‘too much credit’.  I just see you and know you well – anyone who truly matters sees you for who you truly are. I, like all of them, love y— appreciate everything you are.” 

Shit. What was that that almost slipped from your lips?! Nothing. It was nothing. Ignore, ignore, ignore. . . 

You were just hormonal and emotional. 

You continued with intent to make your point known, doing your best to forget the slip-up. “I’ve made my fair share of mistakes – we all have. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m not about to hold anything against you right now.”

Cracking a smile, you decided you wanted to throw in a bit of a joke. “I mean, I would have to hold it against you if you killed someone or some shit,” you giggled, his own raspy laugh joining you. 

But fuck, you couldn’t ignore that one emotion you were feeling. . .

It wasn’t love. It couldn’t be. You didn’t know why the fuck you’d said that word of all words.

But this feeling. . . It was intense like love could be. It had your heart in your throat and your tummy tied in nervous knots. . . 

You’d felt a need to say the words. A need for him to know how much you. . . how much you. . . How much you what, exactly?!

This was going to drive you fucking nuts. 

So, to break the nonstop, crazy wave of thought, you played the song you felt like playing at the moment. 

The song was “In the Moment” by Snoh Aalegra, one of your favorite R&B goddesses. 

And, of course, the lyrics matched your heart. Perfectly. Oddly. Precisely. Music was your favorite language.

Do you mind if I try to come apologize to you?

'Cause I said some things that I realized wasn't true

You couldn’t stop your movements when your head slowly turned to look in his direction. His sunglasses were off due to the darker sky, so you could see every blink of his pretty eyes, long lashes touching the dark circles under his eyes with each blink. He watched the road carefully, maneuvered around cars with an ease that had you hoping he’d be around to drive you to the hospital on a certain day in May. . . 

Your heart swelled in your chest at his attention to the road. This particularly protective nature of his, as the driver, was new. . .

And I'm sorry for it 

I'm emotional 

This is your fault 

Please listen when I say 

I care about you

You tried to look away from him. Really, you did. It just couldn’t be helped. The way these lyrics kept pulling something from deep within your soul as you watched him drive. . .

But you still couldn’t figure out what was getting pulled in you, exactly. It felt weird, but only in a fulfilling way. . . Your heart ached, your head clouded with all things surrounding him. 

And then, just as he stopped at a red light, his eyes met yours. 

You had been caught red handed in your stare, but it didn’t seem to matter. Not to you, not to him. He smiled at you, the same, warm smile you knew all too well to be uniquely his. (And hopefully your baby’s.) 

The lyrics and melody of the song were adding to your already emotionally-tangled state. You just wanted to be with him always—hold him tight so he couldn’t leave. Never wanted him to leave.

Out of pure instinct, your hands found rest on your tummy, tucking underneath the bump. His smile only grew, stretching wide on his lips as his eyes followed the movement. Your heart did a little flip in your chest. 

This moment. . .

His foot let off the brake when the light turned green, pulling his eyes away from yours. The music coasting through the speakers said all the things you so desperately wanted to say. Though, Snoh sang them far more beautifully than you could ever say them yourself.

I was in the moment

I ain't really mean what I said to you

So put away your pride, baby

We can work it out if you want this, too

You hoped on every star in the winter sky that Jake was listening to the words, somehow feeling them as deeply as you were.

But if I could stay, I’d stay with you. . .

Your phone ringing snapped you out of your reverie and when you looked down to see who it was, you were not expecting the contact you saw. 

The OB office. 

Your heart started speeding up in your chest again, breath catching and nerves wracking your system at the most inopportune time. As you turned down the song to talk to the person on the other end, you contemplated why they were calling. . .

The appointment had already been rescheduled. . . So what else could be needed? Was something wrong?

You felt Jake’s palm splay across your thigh, fingers giving light, pulsing grips to the muscle through the fabric of your leggings. Skin heating at his touch, you looked up and over at him. 

“Who?” He whispered, quietly as he could. 

“OBGYN,” you mouthed back, clicking the green button to answer at the same time that he raised a brow in confusion.

“Hello?” You spoke into the phone, trying to keep your voice even-toned for whoever called you.

“Miss y/n?” Dr. Rose responded. Her Southern accent, friendly, on the other end, sounding happy as a lark. 

Hearing her sound okay helped your nerves ease up – weren’t quite as frayed as they had been to begin with. Jake’s hand was still on your leg, offering reassurance. But while his touch did comfort you, it also made your heart rate speed up and head swim for another reason entirely. 

Thankfully, considering the baby, your heart was slowing down. . . If Dr. Rose sounded fine, then surely things were fine, right? 

“Hi, Dr. Rose,” you said, voice perking up just the slightest bit. Looking out the windshield, you focused on the pretty colors in the sky. All light pinks, oranges, and the prettiest periwinkle thanks to the winter evening’s premature setting sun. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, more than, Sweet Cakes! Just checkin’ in to see that Friday still works for ya,” she explained, her drawl not quite as thick the more she spoke. But it was still there and it made you feel warm inside for some reason. 

Admittedly, you knew it was partially due to the fact that she seemed to only be calling to confirm your appointment. According to Dr. Rose, everything was ‘more than’ alright. . . you released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. 

“Yeah. It works for me,” you sighed, running a nervous hand through your hair, knee still bouncing with the unexpectedness of the phone call. “Let me check with Jake real quick. I’m with him right now,” you held your hand over the speaker, looking over to your handsome driver. He’d just made it onto a highway, but momentarily glanced down at you. You hushed your next question, not wanting to disturb Dr. Rose. “Does Friday still work for you? For the week 17 appointment?”

Jake’s face opened up at the question, his eyes brightening with a smile that lifted the corner of his mouth. “Of course,” he quietly responded. “I have the whole day blocked off just for that.”

Your stomach did somersaults at him being so excited for the appointment, but you still dipped your eyebrows in at him. “You didn’t have to do that,” you whispered back. “Take the whole day for it.”

Jake shook his head, and with a dimple in his cheek, he just looked back at the road. Didn’t even acknowledge what you said any further. 

You closed your eyes, a small smile on your lips at his desire to be fully available – it gave you butterflies. Back to the phone call at hand, you faced the windshield again to continue the call with your OB. “Dr. Rose?” 

“Yes ma’am,” she excitedly greeted back.

“It still works for us,” you said, the smile not fading from your lips. Us. You really, really loved the sound of that word coming off your tongue. “Are you sure you’re still okay doing the appointment before week 18? I know how you feel about all of that. . .”

You didn’t know why you were asking – shouldn’t have even said anything. The idea of putting it off any longer was not what you wanted, and you didn’t want to make Dr. Rose think you’d be okay with that. But, it was too late now. You’d already asked. 

“Oh, yes, babygirl. I’m the one that made ya wait past week 16! I felt bad, but I didn’t want ya to have any lull period,” she boomed on the other end, sounding so genuinely kind-hearted. It made your heart feel so full. “Completely fine with me – why I offered it to ya! I gotta admit, I’m a little excited to be findin’ out the gender a week earlier than normal. Ya know I never do that for my girls, but you’ve just seemed very special to me since the day you walked in. You’re a good seed in a bag ‘a bad ones, sweetie pie. So, I just had to make an exception.”

“Thank you so much, Dr. Rose,” you gushed, a tear coming to the corner of your eye at her sentiment.

“I knew it would drive ya nuts havin’ to wait.”

“It would have,” you giggled, agreeing with a sniff to attempt to rid yourself of the tear. 

She laughed heartily on the other end. “You have a beautifully passionate heart, little miss y/n,” she remarked. “You’re goin’ to be a wonderful mama for it.” 

Aaand, there was no stopping the tear as it turned into a couple more, drifting down your cheek. 

Jake must have looked over at the perfect time, because as soon as the tears fell, he was squeezing your thigh once more. His hand had never left your body. 

But, you really needed him to stop holding you and caring because you were going to pounce on him. No questions asked. . .especially with the fluffy headspace you were in. 

Emotional over a phone call or not, your body reacted to him in ways you couldn’t stop.

“How’s your heart?” Dr. Rose was in your ear again, bringing you back. She was in no rush whatsoever. You were shocked that she seemed to want to keep the conversation going. Even after the first question, she continued with another. “I know ya filled me in on it a little bit last week on the phone, but any more updates?”

“Doing alright, I think,” you responded, sniffling at her eagerness to stay updated on your wellbeing. Was she just being a good doctor? Probably. But, still. It meant a lot to you. “I will send my monitor in on the 17th. I’m so ready to be done with it,” you replied with a huff of a laugh, looking down to mess with a loose string on your oversized jacket. “And I think everything else has gotten much better since that ER visit, too. Just keeping an eye on things,” you finished, happy to explain everything to her. 

This phone call was officially a highlight to your day now that you knew there was no reason to stress over it. Dr. Rose just made you feel good. You really enjoyed talking to the older Southern woman. Her heart shone through her personality. And, whether she made these efforts for all patients or not (you were sure she did), it just meant the world to you that she seemed to be so thoughtful. 

She seemed to take very seriously that it was a vulnerable time in any woman’s life. Dr. Rose just seemed to do very well at her job. You were grateful for her.

“When Mount Sinai sent over that information all those weeks ago, I gotta be honest, it stressed me for ya for a bit,” she said, voice suddenly thick with a sort of concerned emotion. Not worried anymore, you could tell that much. But, it was obvious she had been troubled by it when it initially happened, from the way she sounded now. 

“Although, when I read all of their tests on my end, I knew you’d be okay. Just a bump in the road, sweetie – it happens. You will be just fine!” She reassured you in her twang, the words made your head clear in a way you’d needed since the night at the hospital. “And, that sweet baby was doing so great still, in spite of it all. You’ve got a strong one, mama.”

Yeah, there was no stopping the onslaught of tears at those words. Your baby was strong. You were so proud. 

“Yeah?” You sniffed. “You think so?”

“I know so. That little one was movin’ and groovin’ already that first day. . . that sure doesn’t happen with every baby! He or she is very special – just like their mama,” she emphasized, sniffling on her own end of the phone. “Well. . . . as long as this Friday still works for you, I think I can let ya go, honey bun.”

“Yes, it does,” you confirmed once more, pulling the sleeve of your jacket over your hand and patting your cheeks with it. “Thank you again.”

“No need to thank me, Sweet Cakes.” You could hear her smile through the phone, imagined her lips covered in the prettiest bright red matte lipstick. “You have a good nigh– oh! Before ya go. . . .”

“Yes?” you questioned curiously, eyebrow raising with a little grin on your lips. 

“You mentioned a Jake earlier. Does this Jake happen to be the baby’s daddy?”

You blushed, looking over at him. He glanced over at you at the same time, an eyebrow raising when you caught his eye. Your cheeks heated even more when you looked into his eyes. Your baby’s daddy. 

“He is the baby’s daddy, yeah,” you explained, continuing to watch him as you said the words. He had to keep his eye on the road, but you saw how his lips stretched, the smile showing his pride at the title.

“And he will be comin’?”

“He will be there,” you affirmed, your heart racing in your chest at the idea of him being there with you. It had you equal parts jittery and utterly overjoyed to have him be present at the appointments.

“Wonderful. Sounds like a good daddy already,” she gushed from her end of the phone. 

And when he came to the next light, much nearer to the complex, you watched him and waited until he looked over at you. When his eyes found yours, glowing amber-brown in the nearly-set sun, your heart squeezed inexplicably in your chest. 

“He is a really good daddy,” you answered, tears threatening to clog your throat. 

After you said the words, you watched his eyes become wet with an unnamed emotion. A wide, slightly shaky grin on his pretty lips. With the addition of a pink blush in his cheeks, you wanted to be able to read the exact way he was feeling. 

But. . . at the current moment he suddenly seemed impossible to read. There was something behind his eyes that seemed so familiar and so hazy all at once. . .

Or maybe you were just really, really tired.

-🌼🌼🌼-

“I don’t have to go to this tonight,” Jake offered, pulling into the complex. 

You raised a brow, looking at him. As much as you wanted him to stay with you after today’s session, you knew that sleep was the first priority. He’d end up sitting around most of the night anyway.

If things were different, you would ask him to lay down with you. You’d keep him close. But. . . That wasn’t how things were for the two of you. 

You needed a nap and he needed to be with his girlfriend. As much as it sucked, she took priority over you. He wasn’t yours.

You already felt selfish enough for taking his entire early evening away from him. You didn’t want to steal any more of his night. 

“No, Jake,” you giggled, trying your best to play off the want to have him near. “I’m good. You’ve done everything you can for me tonight. Don’t need you for anything else — you’re free.”

It was silent for a little bit as Jake found his parking space. You were too tired to keep any sort of conversation going, preparing to doze against the window as he went to back into his space. 

Though, when he placed his hand on the headrest behind you to back in, you couldn’t help but turn to glance up at him. 

The way he held his bottom lip between his teeth as he focused on situating the Jeep into the parking space, just right. . . You felt guarded and protected by the placement of his arm above you. It made your tummy flip. 

And the mustache that kept making a reappearance on his pretty face, accentuating his plush lips perfectly. . . 

You licked your lips as you watched him, your eyes lazy as you let your stare wander down his body . . . 

But before you could get too far, Jake’s deep, raspy tone broke through to you.

“Hey.” 

Fuck. Your tiredness was quickly becoming enemy number one, exposing you.

Quickly, you flicked your eyes up to him, swallowing thickly, awaiting him with vulnerability clear on your features. 

For some reason, you expected to see him grinning at you being caught. But his features were unwaveringly straight, studying your face with his eyebrows drawn in concentration.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes soon finding yours to pierce through. Damn, you felt naked under his stare. No two ways about it. 

Your eyes sunk into his, wishing you were naked—.

“You’ve had a long day and I want to be available—.”

“I’m sure,” you cut him off, needing to get out of the car before you made a stupid move. You just needed rest; your tiredness was making you weak. 

“Please. Go have fun,” you encouraged further, looking down to observe your nails, desperate to be repainted. Shaking your head, you continued to solidify your point. “You’ve done enough for me. You have a girlfriend who’s expecting you to be with her tonight.”

And if you stay here tonight, there’s no telling what I’ll try to do with you. . . 

“‘Kay,” he responded. At his short tone, your eyes floated up to check on him. You watched as he quickly grabbed his keys out of the ignition, refusing to look at you until the last second. “I’ve gotta get going pretty soon then.”

“Yeah,” you breathed with a shake of your head, unsure of what else to say. And before he could get your door for you, you were doing it yourself — didn’t want to get in his way. 

Whatever this conversation had become, it was far too much for your brain to wrap around at this moment. 

You needed fucking sleep.

-🌼🌼🌼-

After you’d filled your Stanley and sat it on your bedside table, your next mission was to change into looser, cozier clothes. You stripped your pants and bra, and found a giant t-shirt. And your softest fuzzy socks had been a last minute must have before finding your bed. 

Finally.

Almost as soon as you landed on your bed, your eyes were fluttering closed. The softness of your sheets and duvet, the cleanliness and the comfort of your bed was too incredible for you to resist sleep for long. 

At the same time, Jake was getting ready for his time with Maya, and had apparently decided to shower. When the steady stream of water sounded through the wall, you relaxed even further. You focused on the soothing sound of the shower running and imagined how near he was to you. 

He hadn’t left you yet.

Admittedly, putting your mind on Jake going about his business made you feel quite at home. 

And that thought had been the seemingly final step to finding rest, sleep finding you quite easily with easy thoughts of your handsome roommate. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

But, to your disdain, the nap didn’t last as long as you’d hoped. 

After only a couple of hours, you’d woken up and couldn’t go back to sleep to get any more rest. You tried to fall asleep again. It was all you’d wanted after your emotionally exhausting day. 

The longer you laid in your bed and tried to find more sleep, you realized it was just not going to happen. The small apartment felt too big and empty and your mind raced with the scene you’d witnessed during EMDR. 

To your demise, the little wooden box had somehow cracked open a little while you slept. You figured it was because you’d dreamt of what you’d seen in therapy. Your subconscious was working without your complete consent. 

That man with the thick fingers and clenched fists. . . He’d come floating out of the box first as you laid underneath your fluffy, white, clean bed covers. . . 

Mr. Morgan. . . Who was he? You could not place his role in it all yet. . . While you were able to remember him and his living room now, that was about where it stopped. 

The smell of him had stuck with you most since the memory. The potentness of his body odor in your subconscious had been a severe trigger – a trigger to things you weren’t capable of remembering yet. 

But, you knew that whenever those things did get conjured up again, you wouldn’t be ready. You just knew. The feeling alone that came associated with him and seeing him again. . . made you feel grimy – made your skin crawl like bugs were living underneath your flesh. 

Then there was your mother. You hadn’t been able to recall the distinct features of her face for years. Your grandparents didn’t have pictures of her up in their home – only ones of you and Elsie through the years. It was like she hadn’t ever existed. 

But today? Today she was back. Full force. You felt her. You smelled her. You saw every. single. feature. 

The stringiness of your mom’s hair when she’d been with the man in the recollected vision. . . 

You couldn’t help but compare the hair in the vision to the fullness of it in small memories you cherished. . . There was a certain Christmas memory you kept close, her sweater had been brand new. Her hair, naturally brown and billowing out beautifully behind her. You had a few of those moments in time. A few decent memories you’d never let go completely away. No matter how much time passed or how foggy they became, you held onto them.

What struck you as disheartening was the way the woman transitioned from one version of herself to another in the fragments of time you could grasp. You remembered, it was rare to consistently witness the same mom growing up. You’d been forced at a young age to confront the fact that you never truly knew the woman that gave birth to you.

She’d been very dirty more times than not, you could remember that much now. From what you were beginning to recall, she rarely smelled good. Showers hadn’t seemed to be her forte from the grease that had been constantly caked in her hair if she wasn’t with your grandparents. Her skin had even been oily from her lack of showers, just as greasy as her hair. 

The houses she had you living in, too. . . you could vaguely picture a few of those (besides Mr. Morgan’s). The one you were in within your recollected memory today had been so filthy. The grossness of the environment was coming to you in small bits. There’d been times you’d seen families of cockroaches climb into the pantry. . . Or when an occasional rat would scurry across the stained carpet, right past your feet. . . 

You shivered in your bed at the thought, toes wiggling against your soft socks and covers. The loose sheet and duvet came closer to your chin as you tried to completely envelop yourself in your current reality. Things were safe.

It was just a-fucking-lot to process alone. And the last thing you wanted to do was burden anyone else with it. So, even if Jake had stayed with you rather than Maya after therapy, you knew you’d still be swirling in circles in your mind. 

You were just glad you only had to wait a week for therapy to continue digging through this with the help of your therapist. 

The images of the man and your mother kept flip-flopping in your mind, not leaving you alone — each taking turns in mocking your peace. It was enough that you felt your breath become choppy and your heart begin to race in your chest. Your clammy hands were clenching and unclenching over and over again, trying to find some sort of relief and distraction from the thoughts. The smells were coming back to you, vivid as they’d been during your therapy today. . . 

And the moment you began to hear that distant, haunting chuckle from your past, embedded in the new flashes of memory, you shut your eyes. You squeezed your lids together so tightly. Your fists came to cover your eyes, pushing down on them just a little to see stars alongside the black. 

Yet, the sound continued to get closer and closer to you. Desperately, you thought back on Gia’s advice should this happen. 

One of the small pieces of advice she’d given you, when the session’s time was five-minutes passed.  

“Now, if these things come back or more memories come to you and you would rather not think of them in the moment they do: take a break,” Gia had advised, going to hold your hands in hers between the two of you. “Take a break, wherever you are, and go to your safe place.”

She’d given you a couple of other things to try, but she’d stayed insistent that you try the safe place first. Every time. Get used to the place, make it a habit to run to it in these times. 

So, you tried your damnedest to shut the thoughts out like you would on her soft, camel leather couch. Your eyes closed as you tried, working to focus on the idea of traveling to a field of lavender and Jake. 

Though before you could get any further, your eyes snapped open, knowing you had one more step before you went there. 

You tried to even your breathing, unclenching your fists. Once you’d relaxed enough to loosen your hands, you searched for some meditation music on Spotify. 

And once you’d found a dreamy playlist, you laid back to feel it. Your goal: feel it enough to let go. 

This time when you closed your eyes, you did it with less force and breathed in and out, in and out. Once again, everything was black. . . but just for the first minute or so. 

It didn’t take long for you to hear the birds chirping and to feel the solid chest breathing beneath you. He breathed deeply – in and out, in and out, just as you did.

Almost as soon as you felt your body settle into him and the soft ground of the earth, you heard him speak, too. It was like you were hearing him through a rush of warm wind, a breeze drifting across your face. “You’re doing great, baby,” he soothed you in his velvety tone, running a sure hand through your hair, fingers tracing your scalp. You shivered, enjoying the wonderful feeling it gave you, all the way to the tips of your toes. “You’re okay. You’re okay.”

Further, you pushed into him, wanting to be as close to him as you could be. You wrapped your arms around him the best you could while laying down, needing to feel his body tightly against your own. When you did this, he wrapped his arms around your waist, bringing you into him. Your round belly, pressed between the two of you, made your heart settle into a soothing thrum in your chest. 

No other words were said as you laid there, the sky blue when you finally opened your eyes to the new place. The field of lavender, so lucious and smelling heavenly around you. The purple flower surrounding you smelled clean, peaceful, and a lot like. . . love. It was a strange idea that a flower would smell like love, but you’d come to associate it with someone who–.

Knock, knock, knock, knock. 

Your eyes opened at a moment’s notice when you heard a knock on the front door. Somehow, the sound against the door managed to break you from your hypnotic-like reverie. The knocks weren’t small or soft thuds by any means, but it was odd that you’d heard them all the way through to your sacred place. All the way through your bedroom door. . . 

Though, thankfully, after having a bit of time to visit the safest place your mind could conjure up, you were on the path to feeling fine again. So after laying in bed for a few more seconds, you got up and padded to the door in your fluffy socks.

Before you opened the door, you peeked through the peephole. 

When you did, your eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. Your breathing evened out significantly for the first time since waking from your nap. And without any hesitancy, you unlatched the chain and unlocked the knob and deadbolt. 

As soon as you opened the door, you were greeted by Jake, a very apologetic smile on his face. One of his hands covered his eyes in feigned embarrassment, making a slit in his fingers to look at you through them. His other hand was tucked in the front pocket of his black slacks. 

He’d changed clothes after dropping you off. 

Duh, he’d showered, y/n. He wouldn’t be wearing the same dirty clothes afterwards . . . 

He was now dressed very nicely, his hair looking so healthy and full. A few strands were still damp here and there, from the shower you’d heard him start as you’d fallen asleep for your nap.

And goddamn. He smelled so fucking delicious – you could’ve melted into him. 

Rather than focusing on the way the hints of sandalwood and vanilla in his cologne made you feel airy, you asked the question you couldn’t help but wonder. “Where is your key?” 

A hint of a laugh was present in your tone as you crossed your arms over your boobs – which you noticed were slightly less sore than normal. 

Pleasant surprise. 

Oh, fuck. Your boobs. No bra. Only wearing a giant t-shirt and fuzzy socks. The thong you were wearing was a poor excuse at covering your ass. 

Glancing down briefly, you were reassured by the length. It was long enough to fully cover your backside, went down your thighs a bit. . . but you still felt very bare. 

When you looked up, you found that Jake had noticed your lack of clothing at the same time as you. His stare burned through your t-shirt, all the way down to your blushing skin. Your chest was heaving of its own accord, nipples hardening at the attention from him. . . 

His gaze soon dropped down to your lips, his own parting as his tongue went to wet his mouth.

No. You had to be the responsible one here. You could do it. 

So, you forced a subtle short cough, toes wiggling in your fuzzy socks. And, thankfully, it brought him back to the current situation. 

His wide, brown eyes snapped to yours, staying there momentarily. It made your cheeks pink — the way he was unashamedly sharing this moment with you. He didn’t seem embarrassed at all as he bit his lip with a grin stretched over his lips. 

Fuck.

“Your key?” You tried again with a squeak. Rolling your eyes, your short cough was real this time as you had to clear your throat. Ridiculous.

Not saying anything, he responded like nothing had occurred before. He motioned with his head towards the kitchen bar behind you. Your head turned to follow his eyes. And, you found his keys, still laying on the counter, not having been touched since before he left. 

“Did Maya pick you up?” You asked him, arching a brow at the keys. 

“Yes.”

“How’d you get back?” Okay, y/n, now’s not the time for twenty questions. 

“Uber,” he simply answered, a little hiccup following the word.

“Well. . . did you come back for them to drive yourself?” You asked, turning back around to face him, hoping he wouldn’t say ‘yes’. You selfishly wanted him to stay. 

For the first time since you’d woken up, your body felt light. . . . And, you’d noticed it had happened the exact moment you saw him outside your door. 

Shaking his head, he finally looked at you head-on, and you could see his eyes were the slightest bit unfocused. 

Oh. . . A smirk rested on your lips as you crossed your arms once more.

He had a goofy, carefree smile on his lips. And then you smelled it — the slightest tinge of alcohol on him as he swayed a bit towards you. 

Raising a brow, your lips continued to match his grin. Giggling, you pondered aloud, “Did you have a drink or two, babe?” 

You didn’t say that last word. Nope. 

“Maaaaybe,” he said, shrugging with both hands in his pockets now, the silly smile still plastered to his lips. “It was a party, after all,” he tagged on to the end, a bit of a British lilt falling over his words. 

A party. Hm. For some reason, you hadn’t even thought of that as a possibility. Why did the fact that it’d been a party make your stomach turn a little bit? 

“A party?” You inquired, tucking your arms a little closer against your chest. And there was the tenderness again. 

“Maya’s baby sister— eight years younger than Maya,” he over-explained, tripping over himself a little as he made his way through the door without any warning. “Turned twenty one today.”

Oh, that explains the excessive drinking, you gathered mentally. 

But, as you stood there connecting the dots, you didn’t focus enough on the fact that he was falling into you through the door frame. Thankfully, you put your arms out in time to stop him from bumping into you to the point of knocking you over. But when you put your arms out to stop his fall, he got the wrong idea and put his arms out as well, crashing into you a bit as he wrapped them around you in a secure embrace. 

It took a bit for you to register what was happening as you stood in shock at the gentle gesture amidst his drunkenness. And while you were registering it all, he must’ve gotten the idea that you didn’t want him so close to you. So, very slowly, he pulled away. 

Rather awkwardly, you just stood there, arms still held out in shock from the sudden hug. 

Why were you surprised at all? He’d been like this recently – just today at counseling, he’d been extremely attentive, holding you when you’d needed him. . . 

Was this time different? Was it because now he was doing it for virtually no reason at all? You weren’t in need of his help or his comfort (that he knew of) at the moment. And, he still wanted to hug you – that was what caught you completely off guard. 

He’s drunk, y/n, a voice reminded you. Don’t overthink it. It’s just because he’s inebriated. 

And while you stood in the doorway, he continued to traipse past you, body lopsided and shaky. He was being very careful to not bump into you again, turning his body in odd ways. 

When you turned to observe him, as he made it past you, you noticed that in the process of trying to steer clear of you, he was losing his balance – quite quickly. 

So, you did the only thing you could think to do and followed behind him to help however you could. 

He wouldn’t remember it anyway.

When he started putting too much weight on one foot and started tilting a bit too far to the side, you acted on instinct. 

You wrapped your arms around his midsection. 

It proved to be a bit of a feat to keep him upright and on his feet, but you tried your hardest. The man was wonderfully built. . . but solid as a rock.

Has he been working out? You couldn’t help but wonder this as your arms pressed a bit more into his strong abdomen.

You realized that thought process could become a distraction to the task at hand in no time, so you put it to the back of your mind. Instead, you just put all of your concentration into helping him stay on the track he desired. . . . Which happened to be his bedroom. 

While trying to keep him stable, you felt your belly press further into his back. The baby felt safer there, between the two of you. It felt right to be so close. . .

But, again, you focused on the important goal of getting Jake in bed. You just kept him pressed to you the best you could with a baby in the way. Matching his footing from behind, you walked in even step with him. 

Once you were officially at his door, you reached around him to open his door for him. When your hand met the knob and twisted it, he reached forward, placing his hand over yours to open it with you. The gentle action made your skin flame. 

Though, it didn’t last long. You didn’t pause, instead continuing into the room. And the moment you walked into the room, he tapped your arm, presumably to let you know he was okay on his own. So, you tentatively let go. 

Your arms suddenly felt empty, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome. 

He seemed to be a little better now, sitting down on his bed. He did it with more effort than normally necessary, but he still seemed more capable than he’d been a few minutes ago. 

So, without a word, you went to head out of his room. Right before you could walk out the door, though, you heard him from behind you. 

“Where you going?” He asked sadly, sounding more like a neglected child than a grown man. 

Turning around with a brow raised, you asked the question with your eyes before saying it aloud. “Why? You’re good now, right?”

His eyes zoned out momentarily on your face. You just blamed it on the alcohol, feeling woozy. When he came back to Earth, his eyes met yours. His eyes suddenly seemed much clearer than before. All of the air in your lungs evaporated at the look he was giving you. Desperation was the most fitting word for it. 

“I’m not good without you,” he offered, his eyes darting to his feet almost directly after saying the words. He leaned down to sloppily take off his boots, but still neatly placed them next to his bed after taking them off. 

It was honestly pretty funny to watch. You would’ve been more amused if your mind wasn’t still reeling a bit from his words. You zoned out on his guitar, placed neatly on its stand.

He. is. drunk, y/n, your internal heckler reminded you. Stop overthinking.

But. . . drunk words are honest –.

“Can you help?” Jake asked, sounding desperate while trying to achieve a task.

You looked over at him, finding him standing now and struggling to take off a necklace. Without argument, you left where you’d been standing, dejected and confused, by the doorway, to help him. 

When you made it over to him, you tapped his hands where they struggled with the latch at the nape of his neck. 

“Let me,” you insisted, replacing his hands with yours when he moved them. 

Once the necklace was taken off, you made your way around him to place the jewelry on his bedside table, whose lamp bathed the room in golden light. 

You glanced down at the necklace, running a finger down the face of the medallion. Medusa. That was who was etched into the gold metal. 

“You into Greek mythology right now?” You questioned, peeking over your shoulder at him.

When you did, the sight that beheld you took you by total surprise. Shirtless. Shirt gone. No shirt. Jake, halfway naked. 

“Oh,” you uttered the word in a moan more than anything else. You even felt your jaw drop the slightest bit. You didn’t really think anything of it. You didn’t really care to control your reactions. He wouldn’t remember any of this. You just kept telling yourself that.

And with the way the heat flooded from your head all the way to your chest, blossoming to the pit of your tummy – you didn’t think you could control your reactions. Then, when he absentmindedly adjusted himself in his pants. . . Yep. 

You bit your lip, tucking hair behind your ear. Suddenly, you felt completely out of control of your body. . . Your hormones were calling the shots – they (and Jake) were making you feel unsteady in the best possible way. 

The only downside was: there wasn’t anything you could do about it. Morals stood in the way of your bodies colliding and fucking it out. 

You understood that the Jeep incident had happened. Of-fucking-course — there was no forgetting that shit. But a big part of you also thought it would be best to leave the other night in the Jeep in the past.

It wasn’t fair to anyone involved. Right? 

So. . . You just focused on the present moment. No sex. Just Jake in front of you. Tried to ignore the surge of want for him at seeing half of him bare. 

But goddamn — what a beautifully welcome sight. . . 

His body had changed in the handsomest of ways. His thighs, as you’d noticed recently, were thicker than before. And he was. . . just broader than before. It started at the width of his shoulders, and worked down his abdomen to fill out with toned, tight muscle — his new addition of muscle was thick beneath the surface. There was just more of him altogether. The perfect amount of body for you to touch, kiss, lick. . . . . goddammit.

He still wasn’t looking at you, instead making his way to the laundry hamper across the room. You observed the way the muscle in his back flexed as he walked. The expanse of skin under his shoulder blades — his back was thick with new strength. . .What in the sweet hell? 

When he carefully swiveled on his heel to make his way back to you, after tossing the shirt in the basket, you still didn’t take your eyes from him. Just admired the sight and the fact that watching him could be your own little secret. . . 

A secret not even for Jake to know.

Though, as if on cue, his line of sight connected with yours. And when it did – damn. Your heart hammered hard in your chest. Your breath was trapped in your throat, all of it stolen from you. 

His chocolate eyes, although hazy from alcohol, were so fucking dark. Dark in the same way they’d been in his Jeep last week. 

He looked the same as he had right before you’d bent over his lap. The same way he’d eyed you as you’d been on top of him – licking him, sucking him, touching him. . . 

So, instead of holding his eyes, you decided you had to look away before you made matters any worse than they were at the present moment. 

Awkwardly, you started your next sentence without taking time to think about it. “You good now, Ja–?”

“What was your question?” 

When he interrupted you, you wanted to look back at him. But you didn’t. Not with the way his voice was suddenly much fuller – deeper, raspier. . . 

Coughing to mask any sort of embarrassing action, you tried your best to think back to what you’d asked. You couldn’t even remember. . . oh. Medusa. Pointless question. Didn’t matter.

“It was noth–.”

“I don’t care. Still wanna know.”

“Jake, it seriously doesn’t matt–.”

“Look at me, y/n,” he demanded, daring to be argued with. “Quit acting like we’re strangers.”

God. Your teeth found your lip, biting harder with a deep inhale. You let the plumpness of your bottom lip fall from your teeth with a tight exhale. Your tongue pressed into your cheek, eyebrows knit with frustration, when you peered up at him. 

Fuck it all. This was why you hadn’t let yourself look at him. 

His hungry eyes scanned your body when he got his way. He stood there admiring all of you, but his eyes were zeroed in on your ass, not leaving it.

You looked down to get an idea of what he was looking at. 

And, to your horror, you noticed that the t-shirt had ridden up, completely exposing the bottom curve of your ass cheeks. 

But, you didn’t move to change it. Instead, you decided to just stand there. Let him look. You wanted him to. This wouldn’t even count in the morning when he forgot it all.

You definitely weren’t offended by his staring. Not in the slightest. Just sort of made you nervous where things would lead if he didn’t stop observing the exposed skin.

Diversion. 

“Jake,” you purposefully spoke his name, vying for his attention up top, rather than having his eyes on your ass. 

You got your wish. Sort of. His eyes dragged from your ass to your thighs. . . Only to stop at your tits. Your skin was flushed and your skin was tingling. Your breasts, heavy under his stare and nipples tightly peaked against your oversized shirt. 

Fuck. Your body really was your worst enemy — constantly gave you away. Pregnancy hormones were a pain in the ass. 

So, you did the only thing you could think to do: you watched him watch you. The idea of his eyes burning into you without the ability to control it. . . It was almost too much for you to handle. 

Then, he wet his lips, afterwards biting into his plump bottom lip. You might as well have been naked under his stare, completely at his mercy. 

His gaze stayed consistent on your chest, residing long enough to have you feeling so desperately needy for him. . . but, eventually, his eyes moved up to your face. 

You missed his stare on your body as soon as it was gone.

“You’re so fucking—goddamn,” he breathed, his expression still dazed. But, now it was from more than alcohol. Maybe not from alcohol at all. “Do you know how good you look carrying my baby?”

Your head became a flurried mess at his words, the feeling carrying all the way down to your toes. 

“Jake,” you tried, not sure what else to say besides his name. 

But he didn’t respond with words. No, all he did was walk closer to you, still half-dressed. Seeing so much of his body made you feel so utterly pathetic for him. 

In a split second, before you could even wrap your mind around it, his hands found your waist. A soft, yet firm hold of your body. His eyes were locked on your parted lips, his face slowly leaning in and coming dangerously close to your own. 

And just as he was with you, your eyes found his lips, plush and wet from his tongue gliding over them. So kissable. All you wanted, all you needed, was to feel them collide with yours. To taste him again, to savor the sweetness that you knew to be Jake. 

He was so close that you could smell the bitter remnants of alcohol on his breath. His breath, that felt so warm against your flushed skin. You couldn’t help it as you slowly let yourself lean into him. All too well, you knew how wrong it was. . . Yet, you were having the worst time finding it within yourself to care any longer. 

Amber-brown eyes flicked up to yours, golden flecks glowing from the dim yellow lamp lighting. Your own eyes were wide under your fluttering lashes. 

The drunkenness wasn’t as prevalent in his stare as it had been before. This felt so eerily intimate — like it had happened before. You couldn’t fucking shake the feeling this moment was giving you. The dim lighting. Him so close to you—tempting you. . . 

For some reason, your eyes fluttered down between the two of you to your small, rounded tummy. 

Jake’s lips brushed your forehead with the action, his hand coming to tuck hair behind your ear. 

Your belly—it was nestled so well in the middle of your bodies, brushing up against his firm stomach. Protected.

And then a memory, clear now, came rushing back to you. It was coming out of the shadows, having been foggy and faded, but not anymore. 

The only place to go was your room, your door ajar just enough that it opened easily on its own. Jake had reached a hand behind him to close it gently– not wanting to wake anyone. 

Your lamp, still left on, just as it had been earlier in the evening, shed the perfect amount of golden glow. 

You’d grabbed his face, pulling him away from you momentarily to appreciate his features. Finally out of the dark you could look at him. 

And, God, you loved his face. Everything about it, having been so intricately and delicately created — making the most beautiful man you’d ever laid eyes on.

A quiet smirk had graced Jake’s perfect lips, his eyes tightly locked with yours. 

“What’s the matter?” He’d asked, his hushed, now-sultry voice making your need for him that much more heightened. 

You thought a moment before you answered. 

With all of your feelings for him finally becoming realized in your own mind, there was just so much you felt you needed to say. So much you needed him to know. 

As you’d stared in his sparkling eyes, pupils pure black from the weed and his need for you, the only word your mind could conjure up was love. Over and over again. Not just the word, but the feeling; the new desire for him that went far beyond the purely physical one that you’d tried so hard to convince yourself of. 

But it wasn’t new; it had been clear all along. You’d just shoved it down to the deepest trenches of your mind, only to be discovered by the most skilled explorer. 

There was so much you had wanted to say, but you just couldn’t conjure the proper words. 

You decided your body could do all the talking. It could say more than your voice ever could.

“Nothing,” you’d whispered against his lips as you pulled him in for the deepest kiss you were certain the two of you had ever shared with one another.

You gasped as you looked up at him. The night you’d conceived—.

“Y/n, sweet girl,” Jake’s smoky voice brought your attention back to the situation. You let your body melt into his even more, needing him near. 

The reality of it all suddenly began to set in when his hands, slow and steady in their pace, moved up your waist. Strong hands now moving under your shirt, set in their direction of ascension. They came to a steady stop just beneath the curve of your tender breasts. 

“You know,” he breathed, breath washing over your lips. You blinked up at him, at his mercy. “I wanna do so much more than just hold your pretty tits,” he whispered, his lips brushing ever so lightly against yours. “How do they feel?”

“H-heavy,” you stuttered, shivering against his touch while his thumbs met at your sternum, tracing delicate patterns. 

His palms suddenly dropped from beneath your shirt. You sucked in a breath, whining as your breasts pushed out for more. Your skin begged for his touch, on fire for him. 

Before long, though, his hands came back to their spot over the fabric of the t-shirt this time. 

And, over your shirt, he cupped as much of your chest as he could, keeping you in his hold as he gently massaged. 

Stars. You saw so many stars. 

“But, not—not as sore tonight,” you sighed, settling into his grasp. There were no worries evident to you right now. 

All that mattered was Jake and his searing hot touch.

You felt him smile as close as he was, his lips almost connecting with yours as you fought back every desire to kiss him. “Yeah?”  He whispered again, raspier, while his thumbs lightly grazed your hardened nipples through your shirt, your breath catching in your throat. “What do you need right now, baby?”

The moan that escaped your lips should have been embarrassing. But it wasn’t. Not at all. It fit quite well with the way his fingers continued in their path over your nipples, circling them. He was stealing every bit of air left in your lungs, making your eyes roll back in your head.

“Tell me, baby,” he growled, lips touching yours with each word. 

Closing your eyes and biting your bottom lip, you answered silently. You, Jake. I fucking need you. 

He returned to his grip underneath your breasts, over the shirt still, cradling them so well. . . Your body just fit with his. The touch of his hands cured even the most uncomfortable changes in your body. 

You whined, not able to help the effect he was having on you and your aching body. “Jake, I need–.” Fuck. 

No. This was wrong. He was drunk. Odds were, he wouldn’t remember this. You were the one letting it happen, letting it get much further than it should have. 

“Tell me, y/n,” he repeated, brushing his thumbs once again over your taut nipples with more intent this time as your body began to tremble. “Tell me what I can do for you–.”

“I’m hungry,” you muttered out of nowhere, shaking your head as you effectively interrupted him. You pulled away, getting yourself out of another situation that could turn sticky real fast. (Yes, pun intended.) 

And you really were very hungry. Hadn’t eaten for hours. So, it was the perfect mood killer. 

“O-oh, yeah,” he breathily spoke, eyebrows dipping in just a bit as he dropped his stare. His long hair waved out around his shoulders when he shook his head. The sound of inebriated haziness was evident in his tone still, but you could tell he was quickly coming back to himself. 

And that also terrified you. The moment just now. . . Had that brought him back? You’d seen his eyes brighten when you’d leaned into him. 

He went to move past you, his body nearly meeting yours. You put out a hand, millimeters away from his heaving chest. But you couldn’t touch him yet. Not yet. Had to clear your mind. 

“Want me to make something for you?” He wondered, sounding ready to help even amidst his tipsy state. 

“I can do it,” you assured him with a small sigh and grin. “I’m capable.”

“You sure?”

“More than.” 

Your eyes held one another’s for a heavy minute. He was trying to make sure you were being honest, you could tell. 

You just encouraged him to believe your statement with a little pat to his warm, bare chest. Shit. 

You had to go. Get out of the room. Make some damn food. 

But he was right there. . . 

No. 

You quickly took your hand away before he could do something like hold it there. He didn’t get the chance, thanks to your reflexes. 

Your hands interlocked under your belly as you peeked up at him through your lashes. “I promise. I do things for myself all the time. Please let me.”

“You don’t have to ask for–,” hiccup, the sobriety still not fully present. He held a fist over his mouth, trying to be polite. Your smile met your eyes, so gone for him. . . “For my permission, y/n. Seriously. I just want to help you however I–,” hiccup, his eyes bugged a little. The giggle that came from you couldn’t be stopped. “ I can. Jesus.”

“Go to sleep,” you tried, wracking your brain for the best possible plan for him to feel better. “I’ll be okay.”

“Nah. Not yet. Wanna take a shower first,” he iterated, eyebrows drawn together with the sureness of his plan. “It’ll help.”

“Okay,” you smiled, inhaling a breath before shaking your head and moving to open his door. 

Rather than letting you get it, he raised his arm above your head, holding the door to do the job himself. You watched as he opened it wider, seeing his bicep flex with the action above your head. He’d opened it just enough for you to exit. 

You connected eyes with his, looking at him over your shoulder. 

The grin that lifted your features occurred on its own. Everything he did was making you swoon. The fucker.  

He snickered a bit at you, his teeth coming to show past his pretty lips. Dimples fully present with his knowing smile. “Go eat,” he motioned with his other hand before stepping towards you, planning to exit behind you. “My baby momma needs sustenance.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

About forty-five minutes passed. 

You’d eaten an entire box of macaroni and cheese. The noodles and yellow-y, plastic cheese weren’t making you want to gag anymore. Thank god, because it really was quite delicious. 

Now, to wash your dishes and go to bed.

You’d just heard the shower shut off about ten minutes prior to the moment you heard footsteps approach in the doorway to the kitchen.

Jake. 

“Will you come sleep with me?”

You spun to give him a questioning look from over your shoulder that held a million questions.

“Wh-what?” You stilled your task of washing the bowl you’d had your quick meal of macaroni and cheese in.

But, now, you weren’t thinking of mac and cheese. No, now you were thinking of what he just said.

When you’d looked over your shoulder at him, your eyes stuck naturally on the man standing at the doorway of the kitchen. The gesture that was meant to be quick, definitely turning into a whole-ass Jake Appreciation Fest.  

Just like earlier that evening, there he was. Shocking every nerve in your system. 

Pajama pants, slung low on his hips. . . his handsomely tanned and toned chest, still bare. His wet hair, laying on his pecs, dripping water onto each muscle. The drops of water made their way down his hard nipples, probably chilly from his shower, down his sculpted obliques and solid abdomen. . .

. . . And down, past the waistband of his plaid pajama pants. Your favorite ones. 

The pursuit you took with your line of sight was unstoppable. You had to know if he was wearing them. . . And, to your complete gladness, you saw just enough of an outline of him as he leaned his weight on one foot. . . That was all it took to know. . .

“No, I’m not wearing underwear,” he smugly remarked. 

His tone and words made your heart flutter and your cheeks become the deepest shade of crimson. Fuck. He’d caught you.

Deciding to ignore his little remark, you went back to washing the dish, still being held over the sink. In a much looser grip thanks to his comment. Gripping the dish tighter, you put all of your spinning nerves into washing it properly. You fumbled a little, but hoped he didn’t notice. 

“What did you mean before? About sleeping together?” You tried, working to maintain enough attention on the dish that you wouldn’t drop it against the sink and break the thin Corelle. 

“Just sleep,” he emphasized with a chuckle, sounding more and more like himself the longer he stood there. “Nothing more. Cross my heart.”

“Oh,” you offered lamely, heart thumping a hundred miles an hour in your chest, boobs suddenly aching for. . . Fuck. 

Why was he asking you to simply sleep with him? What the hell? 

God. . .

Should you? Was it a good idea? Well, no. You could answer that. It wasn’t a good idea. At all. 

But. . . should you go lay with him? Maybe fall asleep in his arms. . . Would it help you sleep easier after your short, uneasy rest from earlier in the evening?

Shit.

You knew the answer. Knew the answer very well. Even before EMDR, when the bad dreams would occur, they were always better – tamed, happy, or gone completely – when you slept in the same bed as Jake. 

“Yeah,” you said, not taking any more time to contemplate. “I will.”

“Alright,” he replied, sounding relieved behind you. Why did he sound so happy? Surely it wasn’t that big of a deal to him. He still had alcohol in his system. That explained it. 

 You rinsed the rest of the bubbles from the bowl when you heard him speak up again. 

“Want me to wash it?”

“N-no,” you stuttered nervously and shook your head, focusing on the sudsy dish. “I’ve got it.”

“Okay. You full? Get enough to eat?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” he answered, the smile evident in his tone. “Don’t take too long.”

“I won’t,” you reassured, willing your pulse to return to normal. 

And, seconds later, you were hearing his footfalls against the carpet as he made his way back to his room. 

Well. 

Finishing the job of the bowl, – taking much longer than needed – you contemplated. 

You guessed his tone was still a little wavy, but you knew better than to think he was still drunk. 

He definitely wasn’t.

Had the shower helped that much? Had it been the moment in his room? Both combined? 

After the equally clean saucepan was put away in the drawer below the oven, you dragged your feet a bit more as you went to check on Stevie and put some more food in her dish. When her tail swished across your calves, you felt a bit of calmness return to you. 

Your heart was still thrumming in your chest. But you were able to slow your thoughts down enough to feel more at peace as you took notice of yourself in your full-body mirror.

Damn. . .oooo-kay, y/n. . . 

Why did you suddenly feel completely confident in your body? You turned, getting every angle. 

It just felt so great to not doubt your appearance. It was just like last Monday. You could get used to this feeling. 

Your boobs looked fantastic and big under your gray t-shirt, nipples peaked as they most-often were these days. Your ass looked perfectly rounded out from the way it peeked out of your soft shirt. . . And, lifting your t-shirt, you looked at the little bump of your tummy. 

The best addition to the entire look. Your grin was natural as you admired your baby. . .

Your tummy was growing steadily as you still sat on the bigger side of pregnant bellies. Your bump wasn’t a little subtle thing. No, it was an obviously pregnant belly. 

Small, but definitely still noticeable. And it was just cute as hell. 

After rubbing a gentle hand over the expanse of skin on your belly, you pulled your shirt back down over it. 

And with a final fluff of your hair, you grabbed your Stanley from the nightstand before making your way to where you’d find sleep tonight. 

You were just going to get good rest for your baby. It was for the baby. 

That was what you worked to convince yourself of as you walked with quiet purpose to his bedroom. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

“Why did you come home?”

You were laying in his bed. Just like old times. 

Except, in the past, where you would’ve most likely been naked, you were not tonight. 

Everything else though? Same as always.

Your legs were tied into his, looped around his just right, playing footsie with him beneath the covers. Your head rested on his bare chest, your hand underneath your cheek as it laid so perfectly well on his exquisitely strapped pecs.

Oh, also. . . One more thing different than before: the bump. The baby, tucked snugly against his side where you were turned into him. 

It was heaven. That was what it was. 

A yawn emitted from deep in his chest. You knew sleep was finding him faster than you would’ve liked. Naturally, a little yawn found you as well.

Sighing heavily to follow the yawn, you felt his hand that laid above you come to comb through the strands of your hair.  “I don’t like being away from you.”

Your heartbeat was heavy in your ears – did your best to ignore it.

“Was Maya mad?”

“Yeah.”

“Jake,” you scolded, for no reason. You didn’t give two shits about how she felt. But. . . you did care about his happiness – didn’t want to ruin his relationship when it made him feel happy and whole.

“She’ll get over it,” he reassured with another yawn that lifted your cheek with his rising chest. “She was drunker than I was.”

“Are you still drunk?” You pondered aloud with a yawn and a giggle, naturally emitting in his presence. 

But. . . you knew better. Didn’t even have to ask. It just made all of this more understandable if he were to still be drunk. It made this easier to submit to. 

You didn’t know why the prospect of simply laying beside him was harder to come to terms with than having his dick in your mouth. Just like it’d been a week ago. 

Your cheeks heated at the thought. Of its own volition, your thigh came to momentarily graze past his crotch.

“Not really,” he answered, sounding a touch offended that you’d even asked. “Pretty sober now, honestly.”

The more coherent he sounded, the more intimidated you became. . . 

Best to let him find sleep. You’d answer to this in the morning. . . For now, your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier by the moment. 

“I believe you,” you settled with a contented yawn of your own, nestling into his chest. Couldn’t help it. Had to be closer.

You blinked, slower and slower. So sleepy — just felt so right in his arms. His hand came to hold the base of your skull as a thumb traced your head so lightly. 

Goosebumps rose on your skin from his precious gesture. . . It felt so damn incredible. 

“You should,” he iterated, his lips coming to meet the crown of your head, giving you a feather-light kiss. 

And, within a minute, he was lightly snoring. 

It took almost no time at all for you to follow him to slumber. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Just like you would’ve guessed, the bad dreams didn’t come that night. 

. . .Because Jake made everything better. That was just it. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

December 16, 2022 

As you sat in the waiting room, you surveyed him and noticed he wasn’t wearing the Medusa medallion. The newer one you’d noticed on Monday. 

“No Medusa?” You questioned, at a decent enough volume to not disturb the few other mothers and fathers in the waiting room. He flicked his amber-brown gaze over to you, caught in a trance by the beautiful, light decor of the clinic. 

Once he looked at you, his eyebrows only dipped at your words, not understanding. You motioned to his neck with a slight flick of your wrist. “Your Medusa medallion. I noticed it the other night.”

He snorted, lips quirking in a small grin with a shake of his head. “That was a stupid gift I got from Maya’s little sister,” he explained, scratching the back of his head. 

“Jake,” you disciplined his words, but you couldn’t help the tiny giggle that slipped past your lips. It was kind of funny that he found it stupid. 

“What?!” He turned to you, a full smile on his face. You raised a faux disappointed brow at him and he contended that with his next remark, “Okay, yes, I know I shouldn’t call it stupid. Maya said it’s because of her sister’s little crush on me. . . But it was kind of funny that she showed up with it at her birthday party, for one,” he explained, crossing his legs at the knee. “And for two, Medusa? A Greek goddess? Since when is that my primary interest?”

You shrugged at that, a small smile stuck to your features. He was adorable.

He continued on, “For some reason, Maya struggles to differentiate between pirates and mythology. . . and no matter how many times I explain they’re different, she doesn’t catch on to it.” 

He shook his head, tousling a hand through his long, wavy hair as he placed the other hand on his knee. His rings weren’t present today, so you got to truly appreciate the curvatures of his tanned, masculine hands. 

“You should still acknowledge that Maya’s sister’s–what’s her name?”

“Kaia. K-a-i-a. . . Different from Maya’s by two letters. Sound the same, though,” he snickered.

Kaia and Maya. . . so they’re a rhyming name family. For some reason, the thought made you snort a laugh, a grin claiming your lips. 

“I know,” Jake said, a little humorous in his own tone. “Kaia and Maya. Can we agree to not name our kids rhyming names?”

Our kids? As in, more than the one in your belly?

You took note of him and his reaction to his mistake, watched the way his eyes continued scanning the walls of the white and blush waiting room. 

He seemed to not notice his mess up, still going about his business as usual. His foot tapped against the bamboo flooring to the beat of the classic rock radio station playing. 

You decided to ignore his words. It had been a slip up. Just like your own slip up in the car the other day. 

You, speaking of love. 

Jake, mentioning multiple kids. 

You both were just in a state of stress with the life change. . . it wasn’t anything. Just a couple mis-worded moments.

You continued on, looking down at your belly briefly, smoothing your hands down your sweater to flatten any weird lines. “. . .Kaia’s sentiment was kind. Her little crush is sweet,” you iterated, sounding more like a mom everyday. “I hope you told her thank you.”

He chuckled, raspy and light, at you. Switching your line of sight up to him, you saw his eyes read a sense of fondness as he cast his gaze on you. 

“I did,” he smirked, winking at you. Your tummy fluttered with butterflies. “You are going to be a fantastic mom, y/n. I’ve known it for a long time and I know it more and more with your little coaching moments.”

Your heart went crazy at the thought of him imagining you as a fantastic mother. And he’d known it for a long time? How long? What did that mean? 

“Thanks, Jake,” you blushed a light pink, matching the colors of the crepe walls. There was one more thing you wanted to say though. 

“However,” you cleared your throat, glancing at him momentarily from the corner of your eye. He was heeding you, brow arched as he waited for your next words. 

“I can’t say anything to excuse Maya’s non-acknowledgment at the obvious contrasts of pirates and mythology. They are two completely different beasts,” you emphasized, turning your full attention to him. He was still watching you. The flush was back in your cheeks. “I’ve seen enough of your documentaries about pirates and I’m an English major, for God’s sake. . . so I know these things.”

The way his features brightened was precious – like he was being seen. 

And he was seen. He would always be seen if you had anything to say about it. 

Also, you did know the difference, you weren’t lying. None of what you said was a lie. You’d said what you did because you needed him to know that you understood. His interests mattered to you and they should to Maya as well. They should matter to her more-so. 

The moment was cut off quite quickly, though, as you were hearing your name being called to the back for your appointment. 

You were about to see your baby again. With Jake. And you’d know by the end of the hour if it was a boy or girl. . . 

The blood was pumping in your ears as Jake fell in step beside you on the way to the back. You smiled up at him, where you were met with his sparkling eyes. Both of you were obviously giddy with eagerness and excitement. 

Your thoughts were filled with everything that was to come. All sunshine and pale colors – so much love.

Here we go. . .

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: ...i wonder if you can guess the name/gender after this chapter part... ;) see you soon (next part is almost finished, my loves) :) feel free to always come to my ask box or message box! i'm always down to talk when my adhd/anxiety doesn't attack me <3

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[themainreactor]

"Well what if I wanted to struggle carrying you up a random hill?"

In which, Suguru is asked to do the hill test and he's not sure how to explain why he doesn't want to do the test that Shoko and Gojo tried getting him to do with you. Now you're all worried about it and it's frustrating but don't worry because he'll definitely make it up to you. He wouldn't mind carrying you anywhere.

You lightly laughed at the sight, watching as poor Suguru gets bombarded by Shoko and Gojo as they try to force him to carry you up a hill.

Both Gojo and Shoko had been trying to get you and Suguru together since all of you became second years, finally succeeding as third years to some extent. Key word, to some extent.

The thing is, the two of you were more or less courting, going on small dates here and there when the both of you had time. You hadn't even kissed each other yet and you had barely started hugging each other so it was going pretty slow. That didn't stop Gojo and Shoko from trying to quickly move things along.

Gojo gave you secrets about Suguru, trying his best to tell you everything he liked and Shoko of course did the same on Suguru's end. Not only that, the both of them would literally take on every responsibility you and Suguru had so you could have a damn moment together. They both shipped it immensely but you guys were just so annoyingly slow.

"It's just a test, it ain't that bad." Shoko states, smoking a cigarette whilst trying to convince Suguru to at least try it with you.

All of you had joined up at the park for a picnic and you all were just waiting for Yu and Nanami. You weren't even entirely sure what started this conversation but it didn't bother you too much, of anything it was kind of funny.

"Aw c'mon man! It'd be so cute and it's literally a boyfriend helping girlfriend test! You've done tests like this before that bring you closer together y'know?!"" Gojo yells, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him as if that would make him do it.

"I already said no."

"You aren't any fun!" Gojo whines before basically sprinting over to you. "Tell him to carry you up the hill like the cute princess you are!" He continues, hugging you from behind and putting his weight on your back.

"Well I'm not going to do that, if he doesn't want to then I'm not going to tell him to."

Gojo sticks his tongue out at you before proceeding to fall on the grass like the big baby he was.

"Hey, it's not like we're actually dating-"

"But you and him both know you like each other so I don't know why the two of you keep doing this." Shoko mumbled.

You sighed a bit, Shoko always told you this. She was calling you out for being so hesitant about this whole relationship thing, which you don't blame her on. It's just that you didn't want to mess this up since Suguru was one of the few people who had ever returned your feelings.

"C'mon Suguru, it's not like she's that heavy!"

"Hey, stop pestering him." You scolded, gently kicking Gojo's leg even though he hadn't really said anything wrong.

Well he did, he shouldn't have called you heavy because you weren't that heavy, you were just a bit big. Your body type was just like that, it was built like a literal box. Thankfully God blessed you with at least a little bit of curve to make you somewhat more appealing with your thick stature.

"Look, I'm all good with the other stupid tests like peeling an orange for her or whatever but it doesn't have to get physical." Suguru mumbles since he was embarrassed by the whole thing.

"Yes it does! She's gonna be your girlfriend sooner or later right?!" Gojo yells, sitting up straight way too fast from the ground.

"Whatever, he hasn't passed this test yet." Shoko teases, waiting for him to say something or change his mind. It surprised her that he didn't say anything and instead opted to sit next to the picnic blanket near the tree. Normally if they teased him he would eventually do it.

"Huh... That's a red flag right there."

"Guys stop!" You gasp when Shoko mumbles that to Gojo. It made you feel conflicted about this whole test thing they were doing.

"Hey, I agree and I'm Suguru's best friend. There's just something wrong about him not wanting to carry you up a hill, like whether he could do it or not is not the problem, if he can't do it that's fine, it's just him offering to do it that's the good thing about it-"

"Hey Nanami! Where's Yu?" You greet, deciding to leave this conversation for another day completely once you see the blond haired boy.

"He'll be here soon, he's just grabbing some extra snacks."

"Alright then, you wanna play some basketball?"

...

Jeez.

Why did your mind have to suck so much? It's not like you were annoyed or offended by it.

It's not like Suguru even did anything wrong to begin with, heck it was almost a week ago.

You blame Shoko and Gojo because they should have known better than to bring up some random couples test when they were all just supposed to be hanging out, not every gathering had to be about you and Suguru.

You sat on the steps of the school, resting your head on your hand in thought.

You hated how your mind overthought everything, like couldn't your reasoning just take a damn break? It's not like him not wanting to carry you up a hill was a bad thing, it wasn't like that meant something.

You knew that there probably wasn't a reason in particular why he didn't want to carry you up the hill, it wasn't like it was a bad thing.

After all, maybe he just didn't want to, he didn't need an answer, or maybe he couldn't actually carry you up the hill, it was a big hill and you were heavy.

"Hey." Suguru called, waving his hand in front of your face.

"... Oh, hi."

"You were spacing out." He plainly stated, sitting down next to you after he got your attention.

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine." He faintly smiles before copying your seating position like he always did. You don't know why he did it whenever he saw you sitting, you figured it was just teasing you or maybe it was a form of endearment.

"I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me?"

"I would like that." You reply, standing up and starting down the stairs with him.

And that's what the two of you did all the time. You were either eating something together, working on home work together or just sitting together. You would sometimes talk and you would sometimes just enjoy each other's company.

It had only been like two months but it was clear the two of you were dragging your feet on the whole relationship thing.

"Hey... Are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"You keep staring off and I was calling you again, is something wrong?"

"Oh no, I guess I'm just tired... By any chance are you hungry?" You ask him, following him out of the school as you change the subject.

"...Not really, why?"

"I'm just hungry."

"You wanna go get something?" Suguru offers, stopping before holding his hand out for you to take a hold of.

"No, it's fine."

Suguru deadpanned, looking at you with a very serious face. The face spoke for itself, he didn't have to even say a damn thing when it was already judging you on your choice of words.

"Why are you looking at me like that." You silently laugh, amused by his expression even though you probably shouldn't have been.

"... Why don't you want to go get something to eat if you're hungry?"

"I just don't like to eat by myself." You wheeze, almost dying from laughter.

"I can eat if you want someone to eat with, you can just ask I don't mind." Suguru replies, smiling just a little bit.

"But I don't want to just make you eat if you don't need to-"

"Fine, I'm gonna go buy some food." Suguru states, taking your hand before continuing the walk.

"You're gonna what?" You asked, not laughing anymore but looking rather confused.

"Yeah I'm hungry."

"But you just said-"

"I know what you said but now that I think about it, I'm starving." Suguru interrupted, successfully getting you to just sigh and go along with him.

"Right..."

"..."

"..."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

...

"What're you thinking about?"

You didn't reply at first, just stared off into space with your head on the desk, once again being stuck on that stupid test. What the hell was with that test that made you want to ponder on it?

"Hello?"

Suguru called, still gaining no response until he took a strand of hair and put it behind your ear so he could see your eyes better. The both of you were in your classroom, thankfully being alone in there so he could talk about whatever was bothering you.

"Oh, sorry, what were you saying?" You ask. Suguru wasn't too worried about you but you were making him nervous.

"I... Can't really remember but is there something wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing's wrong, why do you ask?"

"It's just that you've been almost dazed for like this past week... Please tell me, or someone else. I'd like to help."

Your eyes widened just a little bit and you felt bad, he looked like he was stressing out and you didn't want him to feel that way, especially when he was hanging out with you.

"Jeez, I'm sorry. It's really nothing I should be worrying about anyway, it's stupid."

"But it's important enough that it's taking up your attention." Suguru mumbled as he looked at you.

"Well I guess it's been bothering me but I don't know why, it's not all that-"

"Can you still tell me?"

You click your tongue, annoyed with yourself before deciding to tell him. It was stupid, of course it was so stupid.

"Do you remember when Gojo and Shoko asked if you could do the test?"

"Which one?" Suguru chuckled.

"The one at the picnic."

"... The hill on like two weeks ago?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

You hesitate, puffing out your cheeks as you try to think about the best way to word this. You were such a mental gymnast and it sucked so much, it was so tiring and annoying.

"It shouldn't be bothering me but is there a reason why you didn't want to carry me up the hill?"

"I didn't want to embarrass you."

"... Embarrassed me? How would you have embarrassed me?"

Suguru stares at you for a good two seconds, trying to figure out why you would ask that before laughing. Was there something about it that bothered you? Cause he didn't have some malicious intent with what he said.

"Okay... How do I say this?" Suguru asks himself, standing up in front of you since he wanted to be serious with what he was saying. That way you didn't misunderstand anymore since it was clearly bothering you for way too long.

"So, um, ah shoot... The thing is, I don't know if I can confidentally carry you up a hill and that's not a bad thing because you're my type." Suguru starts, already cringing at himself because that wasn't a good way to start this conversation.

"... Really?" You ask, tilting your head to the side.

"Yeah! And if I can't carry you up the hill... Then that's-that's a good thing... Y'know?"

"Right... Because?"

"Well because you're... Thick... Y'know, and I like girls that are thick and I don't, like I'm not trying to be, um... Shoot."

You smile just a bit, getting the urge to hug him since you understood a little bit about what he was saying.

"You are absolutely beautiful, gorgeous and really cute and curvy, curvy like a damn lava lamp-"

You almost immediately burst into laughter and Suguru can't help but laugh with you, it seems like he just fixed the issue but he still wanted to be absolutely sure you understood.

"Just a ditzy, bubblegum baddie-"

"Stop!" You wheeze, holding onto your desk for dear life.

"But you understand what I mean right? Like... How big is the hill? Cause with the girls that I like, I'm gonna be out of breath. But that's not a bad thing and I'm trying to explain that because if I look at you," Suguru adds on before sitting down on the desk in front of you.

"and I'm like, she'd be hard to carry with that thing then- and I mean this with all the respect my heart can muster okay? It's like... Oh damnit!"

And the both of you are just dying.

You were almost fully bent over, laughing your ass off at how he was explaining his stance while Suguru was completely flustered, still laughing but in more of an 'i'm embarrassed and i'm trying to make myself feel better about it' type of way.

"In my mind not being able to carry you up a hill is a good thing... I know it kind of sounds weird since most boyfriends want the opposite but I like you the way you are."

You sighed, calming down from the laughing before going to give Suguru a hug. Suguru immediately returns the hug. He's not sure this was the best way to explain what he meant but hopefully it did the trick, he didn't want you to feel insecure or anything like that.

"So that's why I don't like the test and I said no, because some men like me want to struggle carrying their girlfriend up a random ass hill."

"So you'll be my boyfriend that can't carry me up the hill?" You chuckle, letting go of the hug.

"Yeah... I'd like to be your boyfriend that can't carry you up the hill... Probably a huge red flag." Suguru mumbled, feeling a bit bad about you thinking so much about this.

"No it's not and if it is then I'll be a huge red flag with you. I'm glad because I just thought you didn't want to carry me or that you didn't find me attractive." You reply, playfully making jazz hands in front of your face.

"Thanks... I do find you attractive... And I'm sorry, next time I'll definitely carry you up the hill."

"Don't worry, what you said was endearing and I understand now, you don't have to if you don't want-"

"But now I want to."

"Really? You want to carry me?"

"Yep," Suguru smiled. " so the next time we go to that park, I'll take you all the way to the top... In fact, why don't I carry you now?"

"... Wait, what? Why?" Your eyes widen as he stands up, holding out his arms towards you.

"I want to make it up to you... I didn't realize it was bothering you the whole time, I'm very attracted to you and I want to carry you." Suguru replied, not moving his hands at all.

"It's okay, really I'm fine-"

"I know that... But can I still carry you now please?"

"... Sure." You barely respond, feeling embarrassed when he picked you up and held you bridal style. What made you even more flustered is the angle you were looking at him from, as if he was right above you, technically he was too so that just made it worse.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm walking until I can't."

"What? Suguru you don't have t-"

"Shush, I'm gonna carry you and I'm gonna show everyone else."

"What!?!"

"Yep! I'm gonna carry you, I'm sorry that you thought I didn't want to carry you, I did a lot I just didn't want to embarrass you. I guess you liked being embarrassed huh?"

"Suguru!" You whine, trying to hide your face as he walks around the school, even gaining the attention of Yu for a split second.

"Hey guys... So y'all together or is this just a friendly thing?"

"Me and Y/N are dating."

"Oh, cute." Yu comments, giving the both of you a thumbs up before running off, probably to tell everyone something they already knew.

You just cover your face, making Suguru laugh as he continues walking around. He didn't mind if you were embarrassed, he still wanted to make sure that you at least knew that he always means well.

"I like you a lot y'know that?"

"... Yeah, I know that."

"Can you say it back?"

You take a breath before uncovering your face. As hot as your face was from all of this, you couldn't help but smile at the gesture he was making.

"I like you too."

"What the hell?!" Gojo yells, feeling like he missed something. He doesn't even remember seeing the two of you hold hands and now Suguru was carrying you?

"They are so cute! Gojo take a picture." Shoko teases, making You groan as you hide your face again.

"Suguru put me down now."

"Can I carry you a little bit longer?"

"... Fine." You mutter. You could afford to indulge him a little longer.

That and you decided that you liked being held by him.

[criminalamnesia]

Could I request a harwin x Targaryen reader? Like she’s the twin or sister of Rhaenyra and is somewhat sickly/quiet and never got out much until Aegon’s name day, so harwin sees her and its love at first sight?? I’m just dying for harwin fluff

I love this request! You guys honestly have the best ideas. I hope this alright!

Don’t Be A Stranger

warnings: targaryen!f!reader, reader is Rhaenyra’s twin, mentions of illness, not proofread

summary: you’re finally allowed out of the keep for Aegon’s name day hunt.

author’s note: let me know if you guys want a Harwin’s POV of this 👀

You had been a prisoner of the red keep since your birth. Perhaps it was some cruel stroke of fate- some god laughing from high above as he cursed your family with another ill-fated child.

'At least you lived,' Rhaenyra told you once, holding your hand with the lightest of touches- scared you would break if even one breath touched your fragile skin.

Was this living? It couldn't be.

Day in and day out, confined to your bed. Your quarters. Perhaps the corridor, if you felt up to it. You were a prisoner, yes. A prisoner in your sickly body, in your frail bones and pale skin.

You longed to see the world. You dove headfirst into history- the seven kingdoms, Old Valryia, lords and ladies of the realm- anything and everything you could get your hands on to imagine a world outside of that damned bed.

It was enough, until it wasn't. You begged Rhaenyra to sneak you out. Begged her to help you live. She refused.

The realm knew your elder twin as 'The Realm's Delight'. They knew you as 'The Ghost Princess'. You thought the name was suitable, even if your sister and your father and anyone who dared to get close tried to comfort you about it.

There was nothing to comfort. You had tired of comforting. You wanted to get out and see something other than the stone walls of the keep before you lost your mind along with your health.

And so, you formulated a plan.

You had seen Alicent a few times throughout your years. She had seemed kind, until she had wronged Rhaenyra- but there was not much you could do about that.

However you felt about Alicent, you could not deny that you were grateful for her actions at this moment.

"Aegon's name day is coming up," Rhaenyra told you one day, sitting in her usual spot on the side of your bed. Her thumb traced little circles onto the back of your hand. "There's to be a big hunt in honor of it. Bit ridiculous, if you ask me."

You snorted, knowing very well that your and Rhaenyra's name day was also a famously extravagant affair- even if you could not join the festivities.

"When's the hunt?" You asked her.

"A fortnight. Preparations have begun now, of course. The keep is quite mad at the moment. Be glad you do not have to experience it."

You frowned slightly at her statement, glancing towards the lone window in your room.

"Apologies, sister, I did not mean-"

"It's alright, Rhaenyra. I understood." You turned back to look at her, nodding your head in reassurance. She gave your hand a light squeeze.

Although she was still annoyingly cautious around you, Rhaenyra had realized that over the years, you would not break at the slightest touch. So, she had stopped fretting over the smallest of brushes of skin. Mostly. You'd take what you could get.

"The Maester says I'm doing much better," you commented, watching your twin's face as you spoke. "Perhaps I will be allowed to join everyone for the occasion."

Rhaenyra's eyebrows rose in surprise, pulling her hand from yours. "I do not know if that is a good idea. We're to ride to the Godswood, and it can be quite a bumpy journey-"

"I am not glass, Rhaenyra. I will not break at the slightest jostle."

"I know, I just worry-"

"You and everyone else," you huffed, cutting her off. She frowned, eyebrows furrowing as she looked at you.

"Is this something you really want to do? These hunts are famously boring. You will be forced to sit and listen to the ladies of the court complain and throw insults disguised as compliments at one another."

"I want nothing more," you smiled, to which Rhaenyra shook her head.

"Please, sister. Tell me truthfully."

"Yes. I long to leave these walls, even if my first breath outside is my last."

"That was quite dramatic," Rhaenyra spoke after a moment. "You should be a poet."

"I've pondered that thought," you told her, to which she laughed.

The two of you fell silent, Rhaenyra looking at you with a conflicted expression. You could not tell what she was thinking, and you were almost positive she was going to tell you that it was too risky.

But then she said, “I’ll speak to father.”

Your eyebrows lifted, eyes lighting up in glee and excitement. “You will?”

Your sister nodded her head, lips spreading into a small smile at your glee. “Of course. I cannot guarantee what he will say, but I will fight for you.”

“Thank you, Rhaenyra. I am in your debt,” you told her, reaching forward to grasp one of her hands. She looked down at your fingers as they intertwined.

“Nonsense. I am simply doing what you would do for me should the roles be reversed.” Rhaenyra said, and you hummed.

She gave your hand a light squeeze before pulling her’s from your grasp, leaning forward to give you a kiss on your forehead.

“I will go speak to father now. I’m to see him about a few matters anyhow. I will et you know as soon as I can.”

You nodded as you watched her stand. “Thank you, sister.”

She nodded before turning and leaving. When the door shut behind her, you closed your eyes tightly and prayed to whatever god was listening that your father would say yes.

—

Viserys had said no.

Rhaenyra had argued with him for an hour over the matter after she left you, but he had not budged. He could not bear to lose another child, he said. Rhaenyra had scoffed.

She had not told you of your father’s words. As a matter of fact, she did not return to your quarters at all after seeing your father. She didn’t return the next day, either. Or the next.

You had been confused, but you knew what Rhaenyra’s absence had to have meant. Viserys had said no, and she was too busy preparing for the hunt to tell you the news. She probably didn’t want to, anyways. She had always hated seeing you upset.

A week after Rhaenyra had said she would speak to Viserys on the matter, she returned with a grand smile. She practically burst into your quarters, the wooden door slamming into the stone wall it attached to.

“He said yes!” She cried, rushing to your bedside. “Apologies for being absent, I was quite taken with preparations and arguing with our father–” she spoke fast, the words fighting to leave her tongue. “But he finally acquiesced. You are to join us on the hunt, as long as the maesters say you are fit to do so.”

“Oh, thank you Rhaenyra!” You squealed, leaning forward to throw your arms around her in an embrace. Slightly shocked, it took Rhaenyra a few seconds to hug you back.

“Of course. I look forward to having you by my side. I will not have to field the questions of the ladies by my lonesome,” she grinned at you as she pulled back, and you laughed.

“I cannot wait to be pestered with questions.”

“Oh, dear sister,” Rhaenyra sighed with an air of knowing, tucking a strand of your silver hair behind your ear. “You will regret saying that.”

—

After Rhaenyra had shared the news with you, you had been the happiest you had ever been. The servants who tended to you noticed– and they were glad to see such an upbeat mood from you.

The maesters had quickly cleared you for travel, much to your delight. They would come along for the journey at the King’s request, but you did not mind. At least you were being allowed to leave.

Like Rhaenyra said, the keep was quite mad with preparation, especially so close to the date of departure. Numerous servants entered and exited your quarters throughout the days, showing you dresses and packing needed belongings into chests to bring along. You quite liked all the attention. It was a nice change of pace.

When the day came to leave, you were practically bouncing in your bed. Servants came in to help you from your bed, dressing you in a pretty but simple leather dress with black embroidery. You were beaming the entire time.

Rhaenyra came in shortly after, wearing an almost exact copy of your own attire. The embroidery of her ensemble was red, however. She smiled at you, taking you in.

“You look amazing. How are you feeling?” She asked, coming to your side to help you walk.

“I’m fine,” you waved her hand away as you moved for the door. You wobbled slightly, but stayed afoot. Rhaenyra watched you silently before joining you once more, giving you your independence, but ready to help should you need it.

The pair of you made your way slowly out of your room and down the corridor, towards the direction of the courtyard. You passed numerous servants and guards who looked surprised to see you out and about, and you gave each and every one of them a small nod.

When you reached the courtyard, more stares found you. You ignored them as you made your way towards the coach, Rhaenyra following close behind.

“Do you need help to get up?” Your sister asked. You shook your head as you began to climb the steps to the coach. You made it up with only a small wobble, ducking inside to take a seat on one of the cushioned benches. Rhaenyra entered behind you, taking the seat next to you. She smiled widely.

“I’m so glad you’re coming with us. This is going to be more bearable now.” She told you, to which you laughed.

“That’s a sound I haven’t heard in a while,” Viserys’ voice chimed as he ducked inside the coach to join you. Alicent followed behind, Aegon babbling in her arms.

You smiled at your father, grateful he had said yes. He took a seat across from you and Rhaenyra, joy obvious in his expression as he gazed upon his two daughters.

“You two look lovely. It’s good to see you together, smiling.”

“All because of your generosity, dear husband,” Alicent chimed in, settling in beside Viserys.

“I would not say that–” he began, but you swiftly interrupted.

“Yes, thank you father. I appreciate your decision.”

He looked from Alicent to you, nodding his head. “Of course.”

The coach fell silent save for little Aegon’s babbling, and although it was slightly awkward, you would not have traded the moment for the world.

Moments later, the coach began its journey, and you could barely contain your excitement. Viserys and Alicent were speaking about something, but you paid them no mind as you glued your eyes to the small window in the side of the coach.

As Rhaenyra had said weeks ago, the journey was a bit bumpy. You could feel your family watching you intently throughout the ride, but you paid them no mind. You were fine, and even if you weren’t, there was nothing that was going to stop you from going through with this.

When you finally made it to the campsite, you were ecstatic. You could hear all the clamor outside, and it excited you. Rhaenyra looked at you with an amused expression, teasing you, but you ignored her.

The coach rolled to a stop and you sprang from your seat.

“Just wait, dear sister,” she spoke into your ear as she moved to stand beside you. “Father and the Queen will go first. Then you and I.”

You nodded, wishing Viserys and Alicent would put some more haste into their movements. The door to the coach swung open as a servant laid a step stool before it. Viserys gave you a smile as he passed, working his way to the ground with a small huff. Alicent followed, Aegon in her grasp. She was much more graceful.

Rhaenyra moved next, glancing at you from over her shoulder. “Ready?”

You nodded, and she turned her back to you as she hopped down from the coach. You stepped out after her, and it was like the entire camp stopped.

Eyes were all on you stepped onto the grass. Rhaenyra stood beside you, one of her hands grabbing yours protectively.

“Alright?” She asked you quietly, and you nodded.

Your eyes scanned your surroundings, taking everything in. People slowly started to resume their tasks as the shock of seeing you wore off. Perhaps the news of your incoming presence had not been widely known.

Rhaenyra tugged lightly at your hand as she made to move, and you raised a foot to follow her, but then your eyes met his.

A man, across the field, was staring at you. Not hungrily. Not in disgust. In something you couldn’t quite place.

He was tall with a large build and a dazzling smile. He was smiling at you, you realized. You looked him up and down, noting his curly hair; his unshaven face; his attire. A house sigil you suddenly could not recall adorned his tunic.

“Rhaenyra,” you called to her, not taking your eyes from the man. “Who is that?”

Rhaenyra turned to follow your gaze, lips breaking into a wide grin as she saw the man you were fascinated with.

“Ser Harwin Strong, of House Strong. I am surprised you did not recognize the sigil, sister.” She was teasing you, you realized.

“No, I did. I just…” you trailed off, still looking in his direction. He nodded to you from, and you felt your cheeks heat as you finally ripped your gaze from his.

“Should I expect to be attending your wedding at the end of this hunt?” Rhaenyra continued and you rolled your eyes before moving in the direction your father and Alicent had gone.

“Nonsense. I do not even know him.” You told her as she fell into step beside you.

“But you would like to, would you not?” Your sister poked your side lightly. You swatted her hand away with no force.

You said nothing more, and Rhaenyra took your silence as an end to the conversation.

—

Rhaenyra had been right.

The ladies of the court were boring.

You were situated in a plush chair (brought specially for you) beside Rhaenyra as the pair of you listened to gossip and subtle criticisms.

You had thought the ladies would jump at the chance to pester you with questions, but it was almost as if you weren’t even there. They paid you little mind, opting to pester Rhaenyra instead. Perhaps it was because they were afraid that if they even acknowledged you, you would break.

“Ladies,” a man spoke up as he moved to join the group. You looked up to see another member of house Strong, judging by the sigil on his tunic. Not Harwin– perhaps a cousin? A brother? Judging by the image of Harwin still plastered in your mind, they looked similar. They had to be related.

“Mind if I join?” He asked, soft spoken. The ladies nodded, going back to their gossips as the man made his way to an empty chair.

“Larys Strong,” Rhaenyra leaned over to whisper in your ear as if reading your mind. “Harwin’s brother.”

You looked at the man curiously, now obviously seeing the resemblance. Larys met your gaze with a small smile.

“You must be the other Princess. It is nice to make your acquaintance. I certainly see the resemblance.” He gestured between you and Rhaenyra.

The ladies had stopped talking now, opting to listen to you and Larys.

You gave a kind, small laugh. “Of course. It’s a pleasure, Lord Strong.”

“Oh, I am not a lord, Princess. That title is my father’s.”

You nodded. “My apologies.”

“None needed,” he replied, eyes watching you intently. “It is quite a surprise to see you here. Many were starting to believe you were a myth.”

You cocked an eyebrow is surprise. Rhaenyra’s hand fell atop one of yours. “Is that so?” You questioned. Larys nodded.

“Yes, Princess. There were many whispers that you had died and the King would not admit it. Whispers that you were part dragon, and that is why you were not allowed out of the keep.”

“That’s enough of that,” Rhaenyra spoke, her tone firm. “We need not speak of whispers and stories. My sister is alive and well, right next to me.”

“Of course, Princess,” Larys nodded. He was still looking at you. “You and I are more alike than one would think, Princess. Both younger siblings. Both hidden away. Both a source of shame–”

“I think I should like to get some air,” you announced, standing from your chair. Rhaenyra rose to your side without a word, but you shook your head.

“Alone, please,” you whispered to her, and she reluctantly nodded as she lowered herself back into her chair.

All eyes watched you as you made your way out of the tent, into the darkening sky. The lowering sun cast a beautiful variety of colors over the horizon. Pinks and oranges and yellows you swore you had never seen before. You tilted your head back, staring up at the sky and inhaling deeply.

You did not know why Larys’ words had bothered you so much. You knew you weren’t purposefully hidden away, that you weren’t a source of shame for your family– or were you?

The House of the Dragon needed to present a strong front. A sick, weak Princess did not exactly aid in that image.

You closed your eyes, exhaustion from the day creeping into your limbs. You fought to keep it at bay. Should you show even the smallest hint of fatigue, your father would whisk you back to the keep and never set you free again.

“Princess?”

A man’s voice, deep and warm and concerned. You opened your eyes, lowering your gaze from the sky. Harwin Strong was approaching you, brows scrunched together in worry.

“Are you alright?” He questioned and you nodded.

“Of course. Just getting some air.” You watched him as he came to a stop in front of you. He was handsomer up close, you thought. Deep brown eyes and messy hair.

“I don’t believe we’ve met. Lord…?” You trailed off, knowing full well who he was thanks to Rhaenyra’s earlier words.

“Ser Harwin Strong, Princess.” He told you, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Ser Harwin, of course,” you nodded. “I just met your brother. Interesting, to say the least.”

Harwin sighed. “Apologies for him, Princess. He has… a certain way with words.”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “He certainly does. Tell me, Ser. Did you believe me to be part dragon before today?”

Harwin raised his eyebrows in confusion. “Of course not, Princess.”

“And did you think I was dead, and my family was lying about health?”

“No, Princess.” He confirmed, and you nodded.

“Even if you did, I doubt you would say so.” You gave a humorless laugh, but he shook his head.

“I would tell you the truth, Princess.”

“Even if it meant you’d hang?” You asked, and he nodded.

“Why?”

His gaze softened as he looked at you, his tongue flitting out to wet his lips as he pondered his words.

“Because you deserve the truth.”

You went quiet for a moment, averting your eyes back to the beautiful sky. Harwin’s gaze remained on you.

“Even if you were part dragon,” he spoke. “You would still be the most beautiful women I have ever seen.”

You looked back at him, a blush painting your cheeks pink as you searched for a hint of a lie in his expression. You found none.

When you didn’t say anything, he continued.

“Rhaenyra speaks of you, you know. To anyone who will listen. She’s told me of you more than once.”

“When do you speak to Rhaenyra?” You asked in surprise.

“It makes sense she would not tell you of such trivial matters,” he said. “I guard her from time to time.”

You nodded. That made sense. You knew you were guarded at all times, even if you rarely left your chambers. Of course Rhaenyra would be, too. Probably more so than you.

“Good things, I hope?” You asked, and Harwin grinned.

“Of course, Princess.”

“Good,” you smiled. “If she ever speaks bad about me, you tell me about it.”

He laughed at that, and you closed your eyes as a wave of exhaustion hit you once more.

“Princess?” Harwin’s voice was full of concern again as he reached a hand out to lightly touch your arm. “Are you alright?”

“Tired, Ser.” You inhaled deeply, trying to overcome the small feeling of nausea rising in your stomach.

“Should I fetch a maester?” Harwin asked, but you shook your head. You opened your eyes, reaching for his forearm as you slumped slightly. He supported you weight immediately, an arm wrapping around your waist to keep you upright.

“I don’t need a maester. If you would just help me to my tent, that would be appreciated.”

“Of course, Princess. Do you need me to carry you?”

“No, I can walk,” you assured him. He nodded without question as the pair of you started in the direction of your tent.

“Thank you for this, Ser Harwin.”

“Anytime, Princess.”

You walked the rest of the way in silence, thankful for the darkness filling the camp to make your walk less obvious.

When you reached your tent, Harwin helped you inside and to the comfortable cot. He placed you gently onto it, taking a step back as he waited to see if you needed anything else.

“I believe I can take it from here, Ser. Once again, I thank you for this.” You looked at him, your expression sincere.

“No thanks needed, Princess. Whatever you need, I am here.”

You have a small nod as silence fell between the pair of you. After a moment, you spoke again.

“If you don’t mind Ser… please keep this between us. My father would–”

“No worries, Princess. I will take this to the grave if I must.” He gave you a dazzling grin, and it almost pained you to send him away.

He bid you goodnight before slipping out of the tent, and you watched him go, hoping you would see him again soon.

[imineffible]

Blitzo had probably stayed outside of Stolas' palace for about a couple hours. He screamed, begging to be let back in, and tried every window and door, but they were all locked.

He didn't mean it. He never thought lowly of Stolas - it's Stolas for fuck's sake! He's a Goetia, he's powerful, he's gorgeous, he's charming - Blitzo just never thought that Stolas could ever actually care about him like that, nobody ever has.

Once it was clear Stolas wasn't going to let him back inside, Blitzo yelled, "You know what? I don't even need you!"

He stormed off with no destination in mind. Eventually, he found himself at a bar.

He spent the rest of the night numbing himself with alcohol, sex, and he might've been slipped some drugs too.

Only when morning came did he think about going back to the I.M.P. office. Blitzo managed to stumble his way back unharmed.

Everyone else wouldn't even know anything was wrong. Loona was used to him not coming home on full moons and all of them were used to him coming in late the next day.

Blitzo opened the door and trudged in.

"Good morning, sir," Moxxie said with too much enthusiasm. "How did it go? Do we still have the grimmoire?"

Blitzo gritted his teeth. He ripped the Asmodian crystal off his glove and slammed it on the table. "We don't need the stupid book anymore."

"Is that-"

"Yeah. Sto-" Blitzo's voice cracked. "He gave it to me."

Moxxie and Millie exchanged confused looks.

"Why did he do that?" Millie asked.

Blitzo ignored her question and went into his office, letting the door slam behind him. He sat with his head on his desk and tried not to think about anything.

The first one to try finding out what happened was Moxxie, slowly opening the door as if Blitzo was some wild animal that would run if spooked.

"Sir?" he said softly after closing the door. "What happened last night?"

Moxxie looked surprised to see the tears in Blitzo's eyes when he lifted his head.

"Nothing," Blitzo said. "Go choose a client for us today or something."

"Blitzo... If you're this upset, I don't think that will help."

Blitzo groaned. "I don't care. If you won't pick a client, then go find something else to do that isn't in THIS FUCKING ROOM!"

Moxxie had never been one for confrontation, so it was no surprise that he left after that. Not long after, Millie was the next one to come in.

"Heya, boss," she tried to be casual. "How ya doin'?"

"I'm fine," Blitzo growled. "But if we're not killing anybody, then get out."

"Blitzo..."

"GO!"

She appeared annoyingly sympathetic and said, "I just think you'd feel better if you talked about it instead of sittin' around and mopin'."

Blitzo slammed both fists on the desk. "What do you want me to say, huh? You think I'm just gonna pour my soul out to you?"

Millie gave him a look of pity - which didn't make him feel any better - and left. He grumbled and hid his face in his hands.

It wasn't until a few hours after Millie tried that Loona finally gave it shot.

"Hey so... You've seemed a little... off today," Loona stated the obvious. "I didn't really believe it, but was I right when I said he was getting bored of you?"

Blitzo glanced up at his daughter. She looked uncomfortable and worried at the same time. He guessed he owed it to her as her father to tell her a little bit.

"No. No, it was... the opposite, basically, and I fucked it up, like I do with everything," he explained.

"Well, not everything. You didn't fuck up with me, right? ...Dad?" she added after a moment.

"Oh, Loony," he said, ready to start crying again. She let him give her a big hug.

After awkwardly patting him on the back a few times, Loona slowly extracted herself from the hug.

"Umm. So..." Loona said. "Are you feeling any better?"

Blitzo nodded and Loona smiled at him before leaving.

It was nice to know that he had people who cared about him, who will stay even when he pushes them away.

Maybe even Stolas wasn't fully out of his life yet. Maybe he could try talking to him again later.

It was unlikely, but maybe, just maybe, it could happen.

[fairy-verse]

Hello! Firstly, I love Fairverse and secondly, how they are like companions, Killer and Nightmare. and finally Would you tell me more about the nightmare? she is my favorite just like nightlight

Killer & Nightmare

Local fool somehow caught the interest of the ethereal queen. Make it make sense.

Jokes aside Killer is quite the impressive fairy when it comes to strength and agility for being someone who’s not – by birth – a warrior build. He’s ruthless and quick-thinking when it calls for it and he’s loyal to the point of unquestioning; all for his queen.

Nightmare felt a pit in his soul being filled when he fully took the time to appreciate Killer’s devotion. At first, he thought Killer only admired him for his beauty, but as he listened to the hybrid proclaim poetry with the sweetness of honey and the softness of a summer’s wind, he found it harder and harder to fully imagine that beauty was all that Killer cared about.

Killer did get caught by Nightmare’s beauty at first, but as he watched him dance the autumn in, bring the starlight down towards his domain, and listened as he told the most creative of insults, for he was but “a rude spring fairy that dares to fester my morning by his presence!” Killer knew that he would rather die than let someone as tremendous and heavenly as Nightmare be left in the open for someone else to impress.

They banter, so, so much, and no matter how annoyed Nightmare might act he’ll never be able to hide the smile at the end of it all. Killer, of course, never fails at pointing it out.

Stars, Nightmare never knew he could fall so in love with another fairy. The look on Killer’s face as Nightmare cradles his cheeks never fails to make his soul swell with warmth, and the hybrid’s hands upon his flesh make him shudder delightfully in anticipation.

Killer’s fondness and joy for Lumin only succeeded in making him a fairy Nightmare would willingly face the Big Folk to protect.

During the winter months Killer shares Nightmare and Nightlight’s nest.

Once Nightmare and Killer became inseparable it was unofficially decided that said hybrid would become Nightmare and Nightlight’s guard. It eases Nightmare’s worries to know that whenever he needs to leave the underground nest, Killer is at least there to watch over Nightlight.

Nightmare has found himself imagining scenarios where he has a faerling with Killer, and though he might at first be surprised, he’ll find himself… giddy at the thought.

On the night of a Crescent moon another royal faerling will be conceived. (Edit: Obviously I'm hinting at Crescent here, but I would like to mention that he is not canon to the Fairyverse universe.)

Nightmare

Nightmare would be considered one of the laziest of the Firstborn only for the sole reason that he cannot be bothered to leave his underground nest during other seasons.

He oh so loves to create tapestries picturing important times of his life. There are many depicting him and his fellow firstborn, the rebirth of Nightlight, the night Lumin was born, and many other fond memories of his beloved faerling, and of course, in recent times he’s begun to create tapestries depicting a beautiful but annoyingly silver-tongued red fairy.

Nightmare has low energy levels, but he’ll become near restless during autumn and will be hard-pressed to not go outside during his season.

He loves to moon bathe.

Bitter tastes are what he prefers concerning food and drink, though he has a slight sweet tooth for nuts glazed in cold honey.

Nightmare is not ashamed to be prideful regarding his dancing skills. Being the best out of all the season fairies, he has every right to be proud.

Being more often referred to as Queen rather than King, he’s quite the nurturing leader, always having his season fairies' wellbeing in mind and wanting them to be happy and safe; hence the underground nest made to keep them protected.

He has a guilty pleasure for glittering things and will hoard them in a specially made room where they’d all be displayed in a messy but pretty manner. Killer likes to tease him by calling him a dragon with fairy wings. Nightmare always pulls a face at that comment.

He’s terrified of letting Nightlight roam the world outside of his underground nest. The mere thought of it triggers traumatic memories of the day of his corruption, and the first and only time Nightlight asked about the world up above he broke down into hysteria. He was weeping and crying and unable to reel himself back in and it was horrible. And what's worse he made Nightlight cry because he could feel his fear and his grief, and he never wanted this to happen.

Nightmare is relieved that Nightlight hasn’t asked about the world up above again, though he feels guilt for keeping him caged up like this, but he just can’t risk it. He just can’t bear the thought of any of the Big Folk laying their hands on him like they did—

Even as the living fairy of his past before the corruption, Nightlight remains the only one who can soothe Nightmare when it comes to his trauma and panic attacks. Nightmare finds it oddly ironic that his past self was so… soft and level-headed, but it brings him comfort to have him close and safe.

Nightlight

Quiet, reserved, and soft-spoken.

Nightlight knows little of the land above as it is now, having only memories of the time on the meadow before Nightmare’s corruption. A small part of him wishes to see what the island looks like now, but the obvious distress on Nightmare’s face when he attempted to mention this has made him pull back on that. It’s not that important anyway.

He deeply cares for Nightmare’s well-being and would never want to make him scared in any way. He knows that he’s being overprotected but if that makes Nightmare feel calm, then he’ll endure it.

Nightlight deeply cares for Lumin and sees him as his faerling, too.

Nightmare’s massive library and extensive private quarters give him more than enough room to lounge and enjoy himself, though he’ll mostly spend his time in the library to read, and read, and read.

Nuts and berries are his favourites to eat, and nothing beats a crystal glass full of ice water, though he has a guilty pleasure for honeyed milk.

He has the flower he was reborn from to sleep in, but he prefers to share Nightmare’s nest. It’s much more comfortable and cozier.

Killer is the first fairy beside the other firstborn that’s been allowed close to Nightlight, and Nightlight himself grows deeply flustered whenever the hybrid is around due to his endless flirting. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, and Nightmare is not helping because he finds it endearing!

His wings have only been used to make him jump a little higher or to make a sudden fall be a little softer upon impact, but he’s never used them to fly and therefore they’ve grown weak and nearly useless for flight. They also lack a lot of pigmentation from not being exposed to pollen and sunlight/moonlight. Nightlight doesn’t find too much of an issue with this as he’s never needed to fly.

He knows and feels the regret within Nightmare when it comes to him being partly held sheltered in the nest, but he tries to reassure his darker counterpart that it’s okay. It’s okay.

The underground nest is beautiful, and Nightlight loves it; dearly. He doesn’t need the world up above. That is the world that hurt him, that hurt Nightmare, and here he’s safe. He’s protected, and he’s loved. He doesn’t need anything more than Nightmare, Lumin, Killer, and his books. He’s content here.

[eeulysian]

ha. ha. ha. since ur requests are open.. I'll be requesting a fic for my beloved, chelsea from path to nowhere. writer!reader who makes novels and chelsea is interested in reader's works hehejwheueh.. he.. heh.. ok neways ^_^ chelsea then gives reader an opportunity to make their works more popular!!!.. if tjat makes sense idk but!!! in exchange, chelsea gets to have reader for herself! then reader is tempted but they'll make money from it so.. yah. in other words, this is kind of like idk prostitution— but i promise if u word it in a different way, it's ok... this happened to me in a dream btw

(heh.. nsfw.. if that's ok.. idk im kinda down bad for chelsea since shes my gf)

⟡ . IRRATIONAL COMPENSATION

summary: all in the request above!

cw: afab!reader, developing smut, oral and fingering (f!receiving), dom/sub dynamics, chelsea is a flirt, did i make it too long... chelsea is a squirter change my mind

a/n: i wouldn't call it prostitution? maybe compensation is a better word!! and i'm sorry if this isn't good enough, its my first time making smut 😞 and i think i went overboard and made it too long... soz i was too into it 💔💔

WRITING used to be a hobby for you, you used to be that wattpad kid that would make those alpha vampire boyfriend and the sheltered white girl kind of fics. but as you grew older, you began to take your hobby seriously, and it became a dream for you to become a novelist. so of course, you were able to get yourself into a publishing house, making yourself an official author. the only problem is, the publishing house is really unknown, so none of your works were able to make it big. you only had about like what — 50 or so fans/readers? yeah, even though you were grateful that they read your works, a part of you still wishes for the numbers to magically increase by the coming days.

you thought there was no hope for you, your works and your dreams, so you decide to drown yourself in alcohol, hoping to forget all your worries. so you went to a bar to get yourself a drink. then a second. then a third. then a fourth. then a fifth.

when is this going to end?

oh you were soooo depressed, no matter how many shots you took, your worries couldn't get out of your head. "i'm about to lose it," you think. not until a sultry voice called out to you from your right. "hey cutie, you seem to be stressed. what's the matter?"

you hastily turn to your right to find the source of the silky voice, and your (e/c) orbs meets with ones that are as red as wine. not to mention, her hair was pink. oh fuck. pink. pink hair??? you had a thing for pink haired girls. and this girl made you weak to the knees. it's probably because you're a little tipsy, but right there at that moment you wished you could kiss her oh so annoyingly, attractive red lips. this woman was downright beautiful and it's amazing how only her voice made you forget your worries.

she waves her hand infront of your face, trying to get your attention "hello? earth to... what's your name?" she chuckles, and at that moment you realized you've been too lost in your thoughts so you look like you've been staring at her for quite some time now... how embarrassing. "oh, m'sorry i think i'm just a little tipsy right now hahaaa... i'm y/n. andddddd you? beautiful lady?" what the fuck y/n why did you say that you're WAY too drunk to be flirting with gorgeous ladies right now you could trip and laugh it off like it's nothing in this state what is wrong —

your thoughts were cut off by her honey voice yet again once you hear her laugh ring in your ears. she laughs at your attempt to flirt even in such a state, but she replies nonetheless. "just call me chelsea. so tell me, what has made you so stressed, that you have to take about 5 or more shots of alcohol at once? are you a divorcee or a widow? work problems?", she asks you, curious to see if she's able to help you. what a kind beautiful lady. "the last one you just said", you managed to let out, and averted eye contact to not look at her. "i'm a failed novelist... ugh. i can't even get any of my works to be a hit. it's always just a 2-digit-amount of people reading them. i'm not saying i'm ungrateful, i just wish it was more popular." you sounded so exhausted, so worn out, and so stressed. chelsea felt bad, and she was trying to think of a way to console you.

then an idea came in. "how about this", you turn your head around to look at her again once she said that. "i'm quite rich, and i have a big social media platform as well. i could promote your works for you so your works can do numbers", your eyes lit up at that sentence, "but in exchange, i get you." then your eyes widened. confused on what she meant. "you get me in exchange...?" you were baffled. "yes, meaning i get to have a one night stand with you... or you can even just be mine straight away~" she smirks, looking at you dead in the eye. at that moment you noticed her eyes are filled with lust and desire.

oh that sentence, that smirk, the way those eyes look at you, you were sobered up. the bustling sound of chatting and laughing of other bar customers goes deaf in your ears, you're only focused on this pink haired woman and the loud beating of your heart. why is your heart beating so fast do you have arrhythmia? "so, what do you say?", she asks you again, and all the thoughts are running in your head. this might be a bad idea... but your co workers don't have to know, right? i mean, you're tempted. tempted to make your works a hit, and tempted to spend a night with this beautiful, enchanting woman.

at last, you decided to go with the latter, and accept her offer. "... okay. i'll accept that exchange." you hesitantly said, and all you see is a wolf-like smile infront of you. you can't deny that the way she looks at you is kinda... turning you on. "good girl." you flushed at that sentence. you look like the equivalent of a tomato right now. she called you a good girl? oh fuck you could even get on your knees for this woman.

"give me a copy of one of your best works, and i'll read it when i'm home. after that, i'll tell you if i like it and promote it for you. but you'll have to give me your number first so i can let you know how it goes," she winks, she is a woman of her word indeed. "if it turns out to be successful, then i can give you my address and you can come over... after all, our exchange can't be one sided, right? ♡" you were still blushing, but i mean... popular works? money? pretty girlfriend? you were more than happy to comply. you two exchanged numbers, and luckily you coincidentally brought your best work in your bag to read it when you get home, so you gave her your book, which was about a highschool slowburn romance, the characters are too happy so expect them to be doomed by the narrative because you're evil just like that lmao. you told her she didn't have to worry, as this is just a copy and you have all your original works at home.

she took the book, and you said "i'll be waiting for the results then, tell me if you like it and if you're able to promote it", you laugh sheepishly, kind of embarrassed how a beautiful woman is helping you and not you helping the beautiful woman instead. "of course, i'll read it in my free time and tell you how it goes~," she says in a sultry, flirtatious tone. you could only laugh nervously. "get home safely now," she leans in close to you to give you a peck on the cheek, and it left a faint red lipstick stain. you couldn't even talk at all, you were left shocked, baffled, flustered, shy, embarrassed, confused. girlfailure moment

✧༺♡༻✧

almost 2 weeks have passed, and you were procrastinating in your room because it was your day off. you were playing games, reading books and eating. at this moment you're watching a show of your choice on netflix on your laptop, but alas your peaceful moment was disturbed by a loud buzzing from your phone. "who the hell is calling me?", you said, clearly annoyed because whoever is calling you just ruined your netflix and chill time. probably your best friend or a co worker ready to bother you.

but the name you see on your phone is "chelsea", so you just had to pause your show because you just knew it was about your novel. you hesitantly answered the phone, and the first thing you hear is "hey cutie, i just finished reading your book", she says through the phone, and you swallow, scared of how she thinks of it. "... and i have to say, your writing is quite impressive, the way you organize the storyline and give your characters so much personality," you smile at the compliment, though she can't see it, so you say "really?", hoping she hears how happy you are.

"yes, so it's safe to say i can promote your name and your work on my social media. but even so if i ended up not liking it, my interest for you would have not gone away anyways." she says, followed with an attractive giggle that has your heart going crazy. but you're very ecstatic nonetheless, because you know your works are about to get popular after she promotes it. yes bitch get that bag

"thank you for helping me, i really appreciate it. i'm sorry i had to trouble you over my own work problems." you answer her, apologetic for dragging her into your personal matters. "don't worry about it baby, i'm happy to help. but please do remember..."

"that if you want to pay me back, then you'd have to pay back with you, and only you."

you remembered the exchange you had with her. and you become red, whether it's about the pet name, or the agreement you guys had. "oh, right... uhm, what do you want me to do then? come over?", you asked. "yes. that's exactly what i want. i'll text you my address. i'll be waiting, hot stuff~", and that's where you know you're going to have the time of your life. whew

✧༺♡༻✧

you finally arrived at her house. damn it was a nice house. 2 storey, clean, shiny and modern, and you can tell theres a pool in the backyard. you check your phone, it's 8:32 PM right now. you knocked on the door 3 times, no answer. you knocked again, another 3 times. then the door swings open, and you're met with those red wine eyes and luscious pink hair again. and you notice that she's wearing one of those... dress-type lingeries. you were sure you were at your last percentage of sanity because of it.

"hey, it's been a while." she gives you a silent giggle. "it certainly has been. well uhm, how have you been? did you post anything about my works?", you asked her, i mean you were eager to know if your work is gonna do numbers and hoping you'll wake up to your works getting sold out by tomorrow. "oh, straight to the point... is your work more important than me?", she answers, clearly sarcastic with the way she immediately laughs right after. you panic slightly, but before you could protest, she talks once again. "don't worry, my post about your book is already going viral, so expect all your works to get sold out tomorrow and your publishing house flourishing overall~"

once you heard that, you were glad you met this woman by a miracle. but oh, you shouldn't forget the deal you made with her. "thank you so much, really. i appreciate it. but so um, about the deal...", you say weakly, heart beginning to pound fast in your chest and you try to avert eye contact with her. but yet again, she always manages to catch your attention, and she pulls your face closer to hers, making you look into her eyes.

"mhm, and you remember what you have to pay with, right?~", she says with her red blood pupils looking right into your (e/c) ones, by now it's obvious how eager she is to devour you whole. you swallow, sweat falling down your neck, and you look flushed. "yes... i guess i shouldn't make our exchange to be one sided."

and with that, she pulls you inside her house, shutting the door and crashes her lips onto yours. she pulls you slowly to her kitchen while sloppily making out with you, and you feel like you're on fire. you want to please this woman, and make her feel so good. you start taking the lead for a bit and push her onto a counter, continuing to make out tongue to tongue with her. she wraps her hand around your shoulders and hair, moaning in between your kisses and grinding on your thigh... and that was when you can tell that she's quite... damp.

"mmhh hah~", she pulls away from the kiss to look at you with hazy eyes, "i want you to... go down on your knees, and eat me out." she manages to let out breathlessly, "i want you to please me, and be a good pet for me." you could only nod quietly. even if it means getting on your knees and barking like a dog just to marry this woman, you would do it anyways.

you slowly get down on your knees while she sits still on top of the counter, spreading her legs to give you easier access. you reach out for the hem of her pantie lingerie, slowly pulling it down. by the moment her pantie reaches her thigh, her pussy juices made a thin bridge with the inside of her pantie, which was an erotic sight for you and turned you on even more. that thin bridge was cut off the moment you pulled her pantie down completely and threw it onto the floor. gripping her thighs and spreading them a little wider, you lean it to give her aching clit a kiss. you earn a shocked gasp from the pink haired woman above you, shuddering the moment you made contact with her pussy.

you lick her slit, going down then up to her clit again and start flicking your tongue on it at a pace that's not too fast, but fast enough to make her throw her head back. she takes ahold of your hair and grips it slightly and whimpering your name, letting you know how good you're making her feel. you decide to push your tongue inside her tight velvety walls, and she almost puts you into a headlock with her milky thighs all because it was too sudden. you thrust your tongue into her in and out, constantly hitting her g spot. "ahmm...! ughmnggh... y-you're doing so good, hah! keep goinggghhngg..", she manages to blurt out weakly, mindlessly grinding her hips to meet your tongue, you can tell she was close from the way her moans started sounding more louder, the grip on your hair tightened and her walls started spasming a lot more than earlier. but you only ended up pulling your tongue out last minute and you were greeted with a disappointed whine. "why did you do that?", she looks at you, face so fucked out, but she's still a little angry even in a state like this.

you smirked at her, and went back down to kiss her clit and flick your tongue on it. she went back to moaning and whimpering, but what she didn't expect is you shoving a finger inside her and slowly thrusting it in and out, receiving a choked moan from her. you added another finger inside, and curled them. chelsea lets out a loud cry and her breathing starts getting more ragged and unstable, her thighs starting to shake uncontrollably. "ah! mmpleaseeee pleasepleasepleaseplease— fasterrrrhngmnhhh...", and the constant chanting of your name was all you could hear until she started squirting all over, onto your face and to the floor. at this point, the countertop was dripping wet with her juices, and it's slippery. one wrong move, she could accidentally fall down and injure herself. you wait for her to calm down from her high, getting up and holding her by the waist to stable her.

leaning into her neck and giving her kisses, relishing in the her rose scented perfume, mixed along with the smell of sweat and sex. she snakes her hand up to your neck, and kisses you, soft and chaste. pulling back, she could only say "i didn't know you were skilled like that... you really did good, cutie ♡", and you give her a promising smile, one that made her heart flutter and look at you with hearts in her eyes.

© 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗲𝗲𝘂𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗮𝗻. 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗹, 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁.

another a/n: finally i'm done!! one of my longest fics yet... let me know if i made any mistakes or my writing was too long, sloppy or rushed. once again it's my first time making smut, sorry if i disappointed you! :( i'll do better next time ❤

[craftycheetah]

fever pt.2

last

CW: fingering, heats, ruts, biting, knotting, unprotected sex, doggystyle, missionary, oral (f receiving), fighting, mild blood, harassment

Taglist: @pharaohanubis0​ @alsodynamigari​

WC: 14.6k

mina opens the door for katsuki, playfully swooning at his white shirt stretched across his chest. “you look yummy.”

“don’t say that. where’s tiny?”

“y/n~” mina calls to your bedroom door but there’s no response. “one sec.”

katsuki watches her skip to your room, shutting the door. he hears both of you talk back and forth until mina shoves you out of the room.

“you look fine, stop worrying.”

you look up at katsuki and turn around in embarrassment. “oh my god he looks so good and i look terrible!”

you’re wearing a pastel pink plaid skirt with white long sleeve scoop neck shirt paired with white chunky wedges and thigh high socks to tie it all together. all bought by katsuki and maybe a little too casual for a fashion show and dinner.

“no you don’t, you look so cute,” mina grins.

you inhale deeply and turn back around to face katsuki. “okay, hi.”

‘fuck, she looks cute.’

“i like your hair,” he comments.

you touch your braids. “are you making fun of me for what happened with the whole hair thing when we met?”

katsuki’s alpha yells at him for the comment. “no, i mean it. your hair looks nice with the curls at the end.”

“thank you, katsuki,” you smile.

katsuki holds out his hand. “are you ready?”

you nod and let out a slight purr as you take his hand and walk out the door with him.

“have fun! don’t do anything i wouldn’t do!” mina calls out as you walk to the elevator.

you giggle and nod as katsuki rolls his eyes. “i heard there’s not much she wouldn’t do,” he mutters.

“she’s very experimental,” you laugh and press the button on the panel.

“have you two ever…?” he trails off vaguely.

your face heats up as you look away. “w-why would you ask me that?”

“she was really comfortable taking your heat toy out.”

“ mina’s my best friend and we’ve been through a lot together.”

“so…”

you huff. “there was that one time after this guy dumped me like a week before my heat a few years ago. but that’s it, i swear!”

katsuki’s alpha growls lowly at the thought of someone else touching you but he holds it back since you trust mina. he kisses your cheek and smirks to himself when you get slightly flustered. 

“good. my parent’s show starts in about half an hour,” he tells you as you both step outside.

“sounds good. where’s the show, anyway?”

“nakagi hotel.”

you gasp loudly at the name. “the nakagi hotel?!”

nakagi hotel was so high end only big shots and celebrities got to stay there.

“i’ve always wanted to go there,” you squeal and hold his hand, bouncing excitedly. “i heard the restaurant grows their own veggies on the roof. is that true?”

“i dunno, probably.”

“do the chandeliers twinkle like stars?”

he shrugs. “maybe.”

you squeal again and hug him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “i’m so excited! thank you katsuki!” you stretch on your toes—despite your heels he’s still annoyingly taller than you—to plant kisses on his cheeks and jaw.

“hey hey, you’re covering me with your sticky ass lip gloss!” he protests.

“oh. sorry,” you mumble, retracting your hands.

‘shit.’ “maybe a couple more…”

“yay!” you give him one last kiss, this one a little longer than the others, and rub your cheek on his collar despite your scent patch.

“why do you wear that stupid thing?” he scoffs. and opens the passenger door for you.

“i don’t want alphas to go into a frenzy,” you explain. “omegas are required by law to wear them in public spaces.”

“you don't gotta worry about them when i'm with you. besides,” he trails off, lifting your scent patch and taking a deep whiff, letting out a deep growl-like rumble. “the only alpha who should smell you is me.”

you feel your face heat up as he pulls away and starts the car.

“katsuki, don’t do that!” you whine, covering your face.

“but you smell so good. like a freshly baked butterscotch cookie.”

“you smell nice too. like.” you smell his neck. “like making caramel by a fire.”

‘omega likes our scent. claim her!’

he shakes his head to get rid of the thought. “we’re gonna be late.”

“ooh this is gonna be so much fun!”

katsuki chuckles at your enthusiasm and pulls out of the curb, driving towards the hotel.

*

your eyes widen as you look around the massive lobby.everything bathes it warm light that makes the white walls shine. “wow, it's so pretty,” you marvel.

“close your jaw pretty girl before you catch flies,” katsuki chuckles.

“everythings just so fancy—ooh look at the chandelier!” you point upwards.

“yeah, it's very shiny. c'mon before we're late.”

you look over at him and grab his hand. “lead the way,” you chime, happily letting him lead you outside into the garden.

you ‘ooh’ at the set up, standing next to the raised glass runway lit up by soft blue lights. “pretty.”

‘you’re prettier,’ he thinks.

“katsukiiiiiii!” a shrill voice calls from somewhere down the grass. “katsuki is that you?!”

“shit,” he sighs, subtly letting out irritated pheromones.

“what’s wrong?” you ask.

“my hag.”

“hag?”

“katsuki bakugou, you have some nerve coming here and not letting me know—oh! i didn’t know we had another model. she’s kind of short but i have the perfect outfit she can wear,” a tall woman that looks like a gender-bent, carbon copy of katsuki. “why do you smell stressed?”

“i’m fine,” he growls before calming down when you try to hide behind him and let out soft, calming pheromones.

she grasps your wrist. “come dear, let’s get you dressed.”

“i’m not a model, ma’am,” you squeak out.

“no? but you look like one.”

“she’s with me,” katsuki speaks up and pulls you close to him.

“hmm? oh. oh! i see, so how did you meet this one? in one of your little clubs like the last one?”

“shut up, hag, she’s different,” katsuki grumbles.

“but i did meet you in a club…”

“that’s beside the point. you’re different,” he says to you. 

“it’s not that big a deal,” you reassure him then turn to the woman. “i’m just a plus one. it’s nice to meet you.”

“you too. i’m katsuki’s mother, mitsuki.”

“...are you sure? you just…you look really good.” 

“oh, you're so sweet! katsuki, are you sure you found her in your club?”

“let’s go sit down,” he grumbles, softly tugging you along.

“bye mrs. bakugou,” you smile as she watches you follow katsuki to your reserved seats. 

‘she seems nice, and he looks happy,’ mitsuki thinks as she watches katsuki look fondly at you while helping you sit, draping an arm over your shoulder. ‘im happy for him.’

about ten minutes later the show began as the lights along the runway lit up and started swirling around the glass.

‘ladies and gentlemen, people of all presentations, welcome to sakura sunset.”

the models all walk up and down the runway one after another. you look up at them and gasp in wonder at the detailed sunset coloured outfits. ‘so pretty,’ you think.

you notice one of the male models wink at you as he walks past in an orange and brown outfit.

‘oh…’ you think as your cheeks warm before chirping softly when katsuki pulls you closer and kisses the top of your scent patch, side-eyeing the other alpha as he walks towards the curtain in the back.

‘asshole.’

you lean on him, purring as he keeps kissing your neck. “there are people around.”

“don’t care. you’re with me. people should know that,” he grumbles and softly bites above the patch and makes a hickey, laving his tongue over it.

“stop,” you chastise half heartedly and pull away to watch the beautiful mix of traditional and modern fashion. you’ve always known the bakugou’s were talented in their fashion but seeing it in person hits different. maybe you can get a cheaper piece for yourself.

once the show was over you stood in the private lounge area, near the buffet table, softly nibbling on one of the crackers they had for guests and sipped on a small flute of seltzer.

while you’re figuring out where to throw a salmon bite you realise you don’t like, your nose picks up a strong smell very close to you. sandalwood with a hint of something zesty.

“hey.”

you turn and come face to chest with the alpha who winked at you from the runway.

“hi,” you smile politely—putting the salmon bite in a tissue. “you’re the model in the hakama pants. they looked really good.”

he runs a hand through his dark hair. “thank babe. names shindo yo. what’s yours?”

“l/n y/n.”

“pretty name for a pretty lady.”

you giggle nervously but your omega preens at the praise. “thank you.”

“what’s someone like you doing down here? you should've been on stage with me.”

“i’m a plus one.”

“so who’s the lucky alpha? or beta?”

“me,” a voice growls from behind the brunet.

“katsuki! hi,” you chirp. “did you try the salmon bites? they’re kinda gross.”

“bakugou katsuki, it’s been a while,” shindo grins as katsuki glares at him. “how’ve you been?”

“shindo,” katsuki grumbles and shoves past him to talk to you. “you okay, pretty girl?”

you nod and keep drinking from your flute. “the seltzer’s really good,” you hum. “is shindo one of your friends? he looks like deku.”

“we’re not friends. ”

shindo puts his arm over katsuki’s shoulder. “we’re best friends. katsuki and i modelled together years ago before he stopped. also, thank you for the compliment, sweetheart.”

katsuki growls low in his throat and shrugs him off. “no, we’re not.”

you look at the two before shrugging and continuing to drink your seltzer while you browse through the rest of the snack options.

“how did someone like you find a plus one this beautiful? is she an escort?” he whispers quiet enough for only katsuki to hear.

katsuki snarls at him. “no, fuck off.”

you pick up a tiny sandwich and bite, scrunching up your nose at the taste. ‘fancy food sucks…’

“so you don’t mind if i tried to…”

“back off, knothead, she’s with me,” he snaps. “y/n, we’ll be late for dinner.”

you turn around, your cheeks slightly puffed up from the crackers. “mm?” you swallow and wipe your mouth. “okay. bye shindo.”

“don’t talk to him,” katsuki grumbles as he leads you away.

“shouldn’t we say goodbye to your mom?”

“she’ll know that i’ve already left. i don’t stay long at these things.”

“ohhh, okay,” you smile and hold his hand, interlocking your fingers. “this was so much fun. i can’t wait for dinner.”

katsuki feels pride swell in his chest as you follow him towards the garden entrance.

mitsuki shouts at the two of you, making you stop while katsuki groans and turns around.

“katsuki, get back here!”

“you know i was leaving, hag. what do you want?”

mitsuki pushes a man in front of her. “i want her to meet your father. masaru, that’s katsuki’s little girlfriend, isn’t she adorable?”

“you have a girlfriend?”

‘i’m his girlfriend?’ you think as your omega jumps wildly. ‘did alpha choose us?!’ “hi, no, we’re just going out,” you explain, nervously laughing. “nothing official yet.”

‘not yet,’ katsuki thinks. “we’re going to get dinner.”

“you better treat her right,” mitsuki calls out as katsuki leads you inside the hotel towards the exit.

as you and katsuki walk outside, you’re both blindsided by the flashing cameras of after show paparazzi.

you flinch at the barrage of questions as the lights flash. katsuki grips your hand tighter and pulls you away from the large crowd, leading you towards his car. once inside, he notices your distressed scent, peeking out from beneath your floral patch. “are you okay?” he asks, stroking the back of your hand.

“so many people,” you mumble. “it was so loud and they were asking so many questions. is that normal for these things?”

katsuki nods. ‘omega’s sad. comfort her, dumbass.’ “don’t worry, i barely go to these things so you don’t have to worry.”

“mm, okay,” you hum and rummage through your purse for a new patch. you slowly remove the old patches so you don't hurt yourself. “i think i sweat mine out.”

the car is filled with your sweet butterscotch and vanilla scent. the heaviness filling katsuki’s nose and settling in the back of his throat. “you smell amazing with or without it, pretty girl,” he rumbles.

you look over and smile at him. “thank you. my last boyfriend said i smelled too sweet. i’m ninety percent sure that’s why he broke up with me but he said ‘i’m too clingy’ so i dunno.”

“well he sounds like an idiot. you’re not clingy and you definitely don’t smell too sweet.” katsuki kisses your cheek and noses your scent gland as you purr before chirping when he licks your scent gland. “so fuckin’ delicious,” he groans. before smelling the change in your scent. ‘she likes it when i do this?’

you whine softly as he keeps licking and sucking your scent gland. “katsuki.”

he pulls away and kisses you softly, one hand cupping your cheek while resting his other hand on your plump thigh, squeezing the flesh slightly. 

“alpha,” you whimper when his hand glides higher up under your skirt.

“yeah, pretty girl? something on your mind?” he chuckles smugly.

you squirm in place, mind racing and omega going crazy. “you, alpha,” you whine as his fingers toy with the hem of your panties.

you lift your right leg onto the dashboard as katsuki gently tugs your underwear to your knees and kisses your scent gland again as his fingers dance along your folds, rubbing your clit. your whole cunt is covered in slick, coating his hand even before he puts his fingers in you.

“goddamn, you’re wet,” he groans as you tilt your head back into the headrest. he pushes his nose closer to your scent gland, kissing and running his rough tongue across the sensitive skin while slowly pushing a finger inside. “fuck, you’re so tight, pretty girl. relax for me, okay?”

you whimper softly as he kisses and nips your jaw before squeezing your chest.

“that’s a good girl, there we go,” he smirks as your eyes flutter. he starts thrusting his finger before eventually adding a second and rubs your clit with his thumb. 

you fist his shirt, panting heavily against his mouth. your hips jerkily grind into his hand, your toes curling in your socks. his fingers curl up into the roof of your cunt and you throw your head back with a cry, your leg trembling as your body seizes up. your cunt squeezes katsuki’s fingers, slick dripping down his wrist. he can’t wait to feel you squeeze his dick and knot like that.

katsuki pecks your lips before pulling his hand away and licking at his fingers. “you even taste sweet,” he chuckles. he kisses your cheek and cleans you up with some wipes he had in the glove compartment before starting the car.

you let out a happy purr and lower your leg as your scent filled the car. ‘i want him as our alpha. hurry up and ask him!’ your omega yells at you.

“i think…i think we should open the window,” you mutter and press the button to let fresh air in.

‘noooooooo!’

*

katsuki drives up to a fancy restaurant and hands his keys to the valet as he steps out before walking over and helping you out of the car. 

“ooh,” you hum. “i know this place. i heard their seafood is really good.”

“what type of seafood do you like?” katsuki asks, walking you inside.

“i like shrimp, salmon—ooh, i love lobster too. but it’s so expensive.”

“well whatever you want tonight, you can have.”

you look up at him, your eyes wide. “you mean it?”

“yes, i do,” he nods. “table for two under the name bakugou.”

the hostess picks up two menus and steps out from behind the glass podium. “follow me please.”

the booth is a little further inside the restaurant, away from the hustle and bustle.

“someone will be here with some bread and take your orders in a moment,” the hostess smiles as she hands you the menu.

you and katsuki talk idly until a male omega makes their way over, immediately grabbing their notepad from their apron pocket and placing a tray of bread and butter on the table.

“good evening, my name is benjiro, and i’ll be your waiter tonight. can i start the two of you off on any drinks?”

“can i have the strawberry lemonade,” you smile and point at the name of the drink on the menu.

benjiro scribbles it down. “and you, sir?”

“water,” katsuki says curtly.

“all right, i’ll be back soon.”

the omega bows slightly and makes his way towards the kitchen.

“you didn’t want any alcohol?” katsuki asks you. you flip the page of the menu, scanning through the seafood options.

“hm? alcohol? i don’t drink.”

“you got a reason?”

you shrug nonchalantly. “i’m not really big on alcohol. i think the last time i drank was at my college graduation party and i passed out.”

“so you’re a lightweight,” he chuckles as you pout. “don’t worry, i don’t drink much either.”

you roll your eyes playfully and look at the entrees. “ooh, the lobster linguini sounds good with a side of garlic knots. i think i’ll get that, what about you katsuki?”

“i think i’ll get the sirloin with a side of wild rice,” katsuki decides, closing his menu and eating a slice of bread. “hmm, pretty good.”

“ooh, that sounds so good. i’m rethinking the lobster now…” you mutter.

“i think the lobster is a good idea, but whatever you want i’ll get it for you.”

you click your tongue. “can’t eat too much so i’ll just have the lobster linguini.” you decide and close the menu.

katsuki smiles at you and eats another slice. “so how have you been?”

“pretty good, i helped treat a kid with bronchiolitis the other day. they were wheezing for almost a week, but i figured out the issue. what about you?”

“i’m thinking of expanding my club. there’s a space near block seventeen that opened up and i’m thinking of opening another location. i also made a new recipe for the club.”

“ooh, that sounds interesting. what is it?”

“you’ll have to visit the club to find out,” katsuki grins, reaching over and placing a hand over yours.

your feet kick giddily under the table, your face hot when you squeak out, “okay.”

the waiter comes by and places your drinks on the table. “strawberry lemonade for the lady and water for you, sir.”

“thank you,” you chirp.

“so, are you two ready to order?”

“oh, yes. i’ll have the lobster linguini with a side of garlic knots.”

“a good choice. and for you sir?”

“i’ll have the sirloin medium well with wild rice on the side.”

you make a face after benjiro leaves. “medium well, really?”

“what’s wrong with it? how do you eat your steak?”

“okay, i know if i answer you’re gonna make it a whole thing like everyone does.”

he raises a brow. 

“i like it well done…” you mutter under your breath. 

he withdraws his hand from yours. “i don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

“no, you’re not allowed to make fun of me,” you whine and hold his hand again. “my dad just always made it like that so it grew on me.”

“your dad has shit taste in cooking steak,” he chuckles and links your fingers again.

“don’t disrespect her like that,” you pout indignantly. “she’s a great cook. wish some of it rubbed off on me though.”

“don’t be discouraged. i can still teach you and then you can make yourself some lunch instead of going to that soba place around the corner from your office.”

“i like their soba. it’s good, yeah, but homemade is always better. ooh, can you teach me how to make the omurice you made me last week?”

“sure, tiny.”

you smile bashfully and shrug your shoulders. “thank you.”

dinner goes off without a hitch. you love the food, even stealing some from katsuki’s plate.

katsuki pays for the meal and walks you out, holding onto your waist while the valet brings the car around.

the moment you say goodnight to katsuki and kiss him goodbye, mina practically tackles you for information.

“girlie, you gotta tell me how it went! 

“it was fun. i took pictures of the clothes i’ll send to you later. then we went for dinner.”

“did anything happen~?”

your cheeks heat up. “no…”

“ooh, something did happen! did you guys fuck?”

you squeal in embarrassment and rush to your room, shutting the door before she can come in.

“you can’t hide from me forever, bestie!” she calls out.

locking the door, you flop onto your nest and check your phone to read katsuki’s text. “you’re so embarrassing!”

not so scary alpha katsuki

>>gn pretty girl

you pout. as much as you actually wanted to fuck, you’re still too nervous and your omega won’t stop yelling at you for just letting him finger you in the car. you even wore cute lingerie for it.

me

<<gn

<<🧡

huffing you toss your phone aside and get ready for a shower and bed.

just before you go to bed, you put on your favourite pink negligee, attempt what you think is a sexy pose, take a photo for katsuki, before tucking your braids in your bonnet.

katsuki changes out of his dinner clothes and sits down on his bed. ‘today was a good day,” he thinks, subtly releasing happy pheromones. his phone buzzes beside him and his alpha perks up as your name pops up with an image attached.

tiny

>>{1 image attached}

his breath hitches at the image of you in sheer pink lingerie from the neck down. your boobs pushed up by the material and a hint of dark brown areola peeking out.

‘holy shit, she’s fuckin stunning.’  

katsuki adjusts the lighting of his room before removing any extra things in the background and leaning against his headboard, taking a picture of his sculpted upper torso.

me

>>so fucking beautiful

you’re stunning pretty girl

>>{1 image attached}

tiny

>>thank you alpha 🧡

me

<<you really like pink

tiny

>>it’s my fave

>>comfy pink stuff💓💗💖💘

katsuki feels his alpha jump for joy as you text him.

me

<<good to know

<<next time i’ll make something pink for you

tiny

>>💖

>>a pink cake would be so cute🎂🥺

me

<<that’ll be your next lesson

tiny

>>🤩😍

>>thank youuu

he sends the picture, waiting for a reaction.

you sit up in bed when you see the ‘{image attached}’. “ohmygod?”

you hesitantly open it and get greeted with a close up of his torso. ‘jesus christ he’s buff,’ you think as you keep staring at the photo.

me

<<you’re so buff alpha

not so scary alpha katsuki

>>thank you pretty girl

your omega practically drools at the thought of katsuki’s chest. ‘alpha’s big and strong! he’s perfect!’ i gotta get in shape…’

you pout and look at the picture you sent him, suddenly self aware of all the folds and rolls squishing up.

me

<<katsuki can i ask you sumn?

not so scary alpha katsuki

>>ofc

me

<<my heat is next month

<<on the fifth

<<do you maybe wanna help me?

katsuki’s eyes widened as he reread the text. ‘she’s asking me to be her heat partner! yes!’ ‘you better say yes. she came to us’

not so scary alpha katsuki

>>yes

>>i’ll bring clothes

>>you better have food

you squeal excitedly and quickly text him back.

me

<<thank you!!!!

<<i will

<<cant wait!!

your excitement dies down when insecurity fears its ugly head again. you’re gonna have to get in shape before then.

you open another text thread.

me

<<hiii

<<you guys still awake?

camie(*'ω'*)

>>yup

>>what’s up club bestie

mina🌺

>>everything alright

>>you’ve been holed up in there since your d8

camie(*'ω'*)

>>date???（⊙ｏ⊙）

>>👀👀👀

>>you cheating on katsuki?!😱😱

me

<<we’re not even official 

<<we went out 2nite

<<fashion show and dinner

camie(*'ω'*) is calling…

you answer the group facetime and camie’s screaming cuts through the speakers.

“ow. hi camie,” you groan and lay back on your cat squishmallow.

“spilllll i must know all the details!” camie’s face bounces on the screen while sporting a grey face mask.

“okay okay,” you giggle as mina leans in despite being in the other room. “so i met his parents. his sire is soooo intense!”

“ohmygod she iiisss. i love her though. she was so iconic in the nineties. faaaveee.” camie makes a heart with her hands. 

“his dam’s so sweet.” you kick your feet. “he definitely gets his attitude from his sire. they look identical too, it’s insane.”

“what’s her name?” mina asks.

“mitsuki bakugou.”

mina clicks on her laptop and pulls up mitsukis old modelling pictures.“wow, they look like twins.”

“anything else?” camie asks and props her phone up on her sink counter to start washing her face.

“i got hit on by one of the models.”

“you can’t just drop a bomb like that on us!” camie sputters, her face damp.

“did you catch the guy’s name? was he nice? do i need to go hide a body?” mina asks worriedly.

you minimise the call and open instagram, typing as you say, “i think shindo yo? i just remember that he looks like a brunette version of deku.”

his instagram page pops up. “ooh, he’s cute. is it weird if i like his picture? this one.” you share the picture of him in a suit to the group.

“i thought you liked katsuki?” camie teases.

“i do! but we’re not official so i can still look…”

“he looks like an asshole,” mina laughs and zooms in on the picture.

“katsuki doesn’t like him. he seemed nice but the way he flirted was a little creepy…” you mumble. “my omega liked it though.”

“very conflicting. if you had a choice to choose between them, who would you pick?

camie giggles and waits for your response.

you roll onto your belly, squishing the cat. “oof. katsuki for sure. he’s so hot. ugh, i have to hit the gym to keep up with him.”

“what, no you don’t. alphas are supposed to be big. omegas are small and squishy, and you’re perfect the way you are.”

“hmph. i dunno.” you go to katsuki's instagram page. “he’s always around model-type girls.”

“those girls only want him for status, trust me,” camie assures you. “he likes you because you’re cute and nice.”

“and smart,” mina adds. “with a great body.”

“guys stooop,” you whine, covering your face with your free arm.

camie finishes up and exits the bathroom. “but if you wanna hit the gym, we’re not gonna stop you girl.”

“thanks, you guys, but i have to spill more tea.” you kick your feet eagerly.

“ooh. fill my cup bestie,” mina grins.

“so i asked him to spend my next heat with me…”

“shut up! no you didn’t!” camie gasps.

“i did!”

all of you squeal eagerly.

“camie, what are you screaming about?” a male voice asks off camera.

“i’m chatting with the girls, inasa!” camie explains.

your door opens and mina rushes in still squealing.

“what did he say?!” mina grins flopping beside you on the bed.

“he said yes!”

she flops onto your nest, hugging you. “oh my god, i’m so proud of you! my bestie’s growin’ up so fast!”

“minaaa,” you whine as she nuzzles her cheek into yours.

“no, you’re getting loved on. accept it,” she giggles. “beta love is the best kind.”

“ummm no girl, omega love is top tier,” camie argues. “now you have to go to the gym, girl?”

“really?”

“he’s gonna go into a rut and you need to work on your stamina for that? have you ever been with an alpha?”

“no.”

she clicks her tongue and shakes her head sadly. “r.i.p that pussy.”

“what?!” you panic. “is he gonna hurt me?!”

“not intentionally,” camie shrugs as mina hums in agreement. “it’s hot though.”

“it is. eijirou always bites me and it does hurt but it’s natural.”

you hum. “that’s scary…”

“the first time inasa claimed me, yeah it was scary but when you’re in heat you don’t really feel the pain of the bite until it’s done and by then it heals up.”

“claim?!” you gasp and rub your neck. “it’s way too early for that. but biting does sound hot…okay, i’ll work on my stamina.”

“we could hit my gym on your day off,” camie offers. “i can get you in for free.”

“you’ll do great!”

*

you stand outside of the lavish looking gym wearing a pink sweatsuit, braids tied up away from your face as you wait. mina loudly slurps her milkshake.

“mina, stop it,” you scold.

“it’s good, don’t judge me,” she whines.

you roll your eyes and keep an eye out for camie. “camie said she’d be here, waiting for us.”

“maybe she got distracted?”

“she texted that she’s down the street.” you look down the sidewalk.

“alright, let’s just wait out here.”

a black porsche pulls up onto the curb a little ways from where you’re both standing. camie steps out in grey matching leggings and a tank top. “hey girlies!”

“hi,” you smile. “you look nice.”

“so do you girls! thanks for driving me here, babe, i’ll see you later, okay?”

camie leans into the car and giggles softly before coming out smelling like cinnamon and coffee.

“i love you too. hi ladies!” an alpha with a buzzcut grins from inside the car.

“hi.” you wave.

“yo,” mina nods.

“lemme know when you're ready,” he waves, pulling out of the curb once camie steps back.

“we’re gonna have so much fun,” she squeals. “i have some workouts to build up your stamina and they totally work.”

“if you say so,” you mumble nervously.

camie leads you both inside the gym. luckily there’s only two other people so you don’t feel as anxious. she flashes her membership card to the receptionist and tells them you and mina are with her.

“woah, this place is fancy,” mina whistles.

you nod and follow camie to the workout room.

“okay girl, first thing you gotta do is squats. you’ve already got junk in the trunk but it helps soooo much with your stamina.” she gently swats your butt. “this outfit is so cute.”

“thank you,” you smile. you watch camie do a couple before trying. “like this?”

“good, but you need to keep your arms straight. yeah, like that. do twenty more of that.”

“you’re doing good bestie,” mina grins. “i’m gonna go run on the treadmill. holler if you need me.”

“we will,” you nod before sitting on the ground after five.

“girl you barely got halfway,” camie sighs.

“i don't go to the gym like you do. i get my steps in by working,” you sigh. 

“let's try the exercise bike. work those leg muscles then we can try this again.”

“alright.”

you spend half of the day doing stamina exercises and cardio, nearly passing out near the end.

“you okay?”

“no,” you wheeze. “i hate it here.”

“but we’re almost done. just one more squat rep and we’re done.”

you groan loudly and roll onto your belly. “i’m gonna die.”

camie nudges you with her sneaker. “come on. this is for your hot sexy alpha.”

you swoon. “hot sexy alpha…” you mumble and stand back up. “okay, i can do this.”

camie chuckles and pats your shoulder and watches you squat. a devious thought crosses her mind. “let’s go get mina and take a selfie before we leave.”

“can we get food too?”

“there’s this place with great salad.”

you scrunch up your nose. “salad?”

“it’s healthy.”

“being healthy sucks.”

she pats your back. “you’ll thank me later. finish up.”

“fine salad it is…” you squat a few more times before groaning when you get up. “done.”

after a lemon water break, camie pulls you and mina in front of one of the large mirrors by the weights, holding up her phone. “okay, say ‘cheese’.”

camie takes the pic and sends it to you both before helping you get your things.

you forward the photo to katsuki and smile to yourself as you leave the gym.

tiny

>>{1 image attached}

>>gym day w/ the girls 

katsuki feels his phone vibrate as he chastises one of the bartenders. he sits down on one of the couches and checks his messages. ‘tiny, what are you up to?’

me

<<why you at the gym???

tiny

>>wat else do you do at the gym???

me

<< >:(

<<don’t be snarky

tiny

>>camie invited me 

“ugh, camie,” he growls quietly.

me

<<ok

<<you look cute or whatever

tiny

>>or whatever? 🥺

katsuki practically saw the pout on your face. ‘goddammit.’

me

<<don’t look at me like that 

<<i can feel those puppy dog eyes staring at me through the screen 

tiny

>>😊

>>gonna go eat ttyl 👋🏾

me

<<alright

<<be safe

katsuki smirks softly at his phone and puts it back in his pocket.

“aww, bakubro has a crush,” eijirou hums over katsuki’s shoulder.

“what the fuck shitty hair?!” katsuki growls.

“crush?” denki asks curiously as he walks out of the storage room. “kaachan has feelings?”

“quit calling me that!” katsuki growls.

“no. who's the lucky person?”

“that girl mina brought two weeks ago. birthday girl with the front tie and bell-bottoms.”

denki taps his chin. “okay, two questions. who is mina? and who is the girl?”

eijirou taps his phone a few times and opens mina’s instagram page, scrolling until he finds a picture of both of you mina took before you went to komori. “that’s mina and that’s her friend.”

“oh, they're cute. is mina single?”

eijirou frowns a little. “she’s my girlfriend.”

“is your girlfriend single?”

“moving on. that’s bakubro’s new girlfriend who’s not a girlfriend because he’s too nervous to ask.”

“if kacchan doesn't ask her out can i? she’s cute.”

katsuki’s scent shifts to a bitter burnt caramel, alarming denki a little.

“okay, chill, i’m kidding,” denki chuckles. “but why haven’t you asked her?”

“what if she says no?”

“didn’t she call you during her heat?” eijirou asks.

“yeah but that’s different.”

denki pats his head. “look if you want her, just ask. the worst is she says no.”

katsuki huffs. “okay. get back to work, idiots.”

*

a knock at your door pulls you away from the fridge. “coming!” you call out and waddle in pain over from the kitchen, opening your door. “hi katsuki! come in.”

katsuki walks in with a couple of bags, smooching your cheek. “hi tiny.”

you rub your cheek on his chest, covering him in happy pheromones. “you got the ingredients!”

“yup,” he chuckles. “even bought something else.” katsuki holds up a white bag. “this is for you.”

you gasp and take the bag, moving the tissue paper around as your omega jumps for joy. ‘alpha bought us a present!’

inside the white gift bag is a pink and purple pegasus squishmallow. “oh my god, it's so cute!” you squeal, taking it out and hugging it. “and fluffy! i love it i love it i love it! thank you!”

“you’re welcome,” he chuckles. 

you pull him in for a hug and look down at the plush in your hands. “hey, can you scent it for me? just so your smell is always in my nest.”

“what about the shirt you stole?” he inquires.

you hug the plushie tighter. “i had to wash it and now the scent is gone…”

“do you want me to scent that again?”

“please?”

katsuki chuckles and places the bag on your counter. “empty the bag and i’ll go scent the stuff. where is it?”

“it’s in my room on my pillow.” you give him the plushie.

“you’re letting me in?”

you nod and point him in the direction of your room. “its next to the cow squishmallow.”

katsuki chuckles and goes into your room. “you really like pink, pretty girl,” he chuckles to himself before grabbing the shirt and rubbing it along his wrists and neck. he places the plushie beside the cow and scents them both for good measure before going back to the living room. “alright, i’m done with the shirt.”

you waddle over from the kitchen with a strawberry in hand. “where'd you get these strawberries?—god my back.” you moan and crack your back.

katsuki notices the slight limp in your step and feels a little weird. “are you okay?”

you hum in question and eat the strawberry.

“why’re you walking like that?”

“cause camie had me doing squats all week. i could barely move around at work,” you complain. “i’m not cut out for the fitness lifestyle.”

katsuki, and his alpha, relax. “better be careful, tiny.”

“i’ll be careful. so what do we do first?”

“wash your hands and then we’ll start on the wet ingredients. but before that,” he pauses, walking over and wiping off some strawberry juice that's spilled from your mouth. “this.”

katsuki cups your cheek and presses his lips to yours, humming from the sweet taste of you mixed with strawberry. he pulls away and smiles down at you. “always so sweet, pretty girl.”

you stare up at him as your face warms. “katsuki,” you whine as you cover your cheeks.

“yes?”

“you can’t just do that!” 

“why not? you’re cute when you’re all flustered,” he chuckles as you whine even more.

“you’re so annoying,” you pout. 

“i’m annoying but you let me in your nest?”

you chuff and smack his chest. “let’s just make the cake.”

the pink strawberry shortcake is easy to make, even if you added a little too much flour. katsuki supervises you the whole time, annoyingly pointing out every single mistake.

“it’s just a cake,” you sigh as you mix in the eggs.

“it has to be perfect,” he retorts.

“no it doesn’t.”

“if it’s for you, yes it does.”

“katsuki…”

“i mean it. now, don’t forget the food coloring.”

after the cake is cooled and iced, you step back and admire your work. “wow, i made a cake!”

katsuki nods. “yes you did. next time you can make one on your own.”

“it’s so cute. i can’t wait to try it.” you take a picture of it and send it to mina then get a knife to cut a slice. 

you take a slice for yourself and grin at the whipped cream and strawberry topping. “mm, so yummy.”

katsuki feels the tips of his ears burn as he listens to your praises. “of course it's good. we made it.”

you smile and let out a happy purr before tugging katsuki along to sit on the couch. “we can eat more later. right now i wanna cuddle with two of my favourite things.”

“squishmallows and a soft blanket?” katsuki chuckles before stiffening when you nuzzle your body under his arm.”

“close. you and a soft blanket.”

katsuki chuckles softly and strokes your waist. “hey pretty girl?”

you look up at him with curiosity. “hmm?”

“i wanted to ask you something.”

“you okay?”

he presses his lips together, nerves getting the better of him. “what do you like to eat during your heat?”

you snuggle closer to him. “anything you make is good. i really like hot cocoa and marshmallows though.”

he rubs your thigh slowly. “good to know.”

you hum softly and kiss his jaw. “how about you? what do you like during your rut?”

“regular stuff. i like to fuck.”

you hide your face in his bicep. “you’re so crass. how can you just say stuff like that?”

katsuki chuckles and looks down at you. “you just do. you were like that during your other heat.”

“oh my gosh,” you whine.

”it’s true,” he laughs. “you were all hot and needy.”

“no more talking!” you huff in embarrassment. “if you’re gonna make fun of me, i’ll kick you out.”

“no you won’t.”

you pout and lay back on his chest, purring gently at the closeness and his happy scent.

katsuki lets out a soft rumble, soothing you and your omega as you watch your series.

“ooh, we should watch ‘is it cake’!” you exclaim.

“whats that?”

“it's this show where bakers have to make extremely realistic cakes and the judges have to guess if it's real or not!”

“sounds weird.”

“it’s not. you probably can’t guess which ones are cakes, that’s why.”

“is that a challenge?!” he growls playfully. “i’ll figure out which ones are fake and get them all right!”

katsuki got three right while you guessed almost every one. “better luck next time, alpha.”

“we’re watching something else,” he grumbles and goes back to the netflix home screen.

you giggle at his pout and boop his nose. 

*

katsuki shows up the first day of preheat just after mina leaves for the week, opting to spend the week with eijirou now that you have katsuki to take care of you.

you wander towards your door in nothing but katsuki’s shirt and underwear as you hear someone knock. peeking through the peephole, your omega howls happily when you see katsuki.

“katsuki!” you chirp, letting him inside.

“hey tiny. how’re you?”

“hot but happy that you’re here.”

you hold on to him as he places a large bag of food in your kitchen before dragging him towards your nest. you straddle him and rub your cheeks on his neck, drenching him in your scent.

your sweet heat scent hits him hard, even stronger than what he imagined it would be.

“i’m so happy to see you,” you grin down at him.  

“yeah, i can tell. you smell really sweet right now,” he groans. “smells like you bathed in vanilla.”

you let out a happy purr and rest your head under his, shuddering from his smoky scent. ‘alpha…’

katsuki places his hand on your lower back, the weight comforting.

“are you sure about this?” he asks quietly.

“mhm. i’ve been getting ready for weeks,” you tell him.

“you seem eager.”

you sit up and nod.“i’ve been working out to build up my stamina for you. it was annoying but no going back now.”

“that’s why you’ve been going to the gym?”

you nod shyly.

“you didn't have to do that for me, pretty girl,” he smiles, cupping your face. “you’re perfect like this. small and soft.” he presses your cheeks with his palms on the last word.

“i just did it for stamina,” you get out through squished lips. “i’ve never been with an alpha and camie said i need it.”

“camie was right,” katsuki replies. in an instant, you’re on your back as katsuki has effortlessly turned you both over. “you definitely will.”

you look up at him and swoon. “prove it.

happy chirps and purrs leave your lips when he starts kissing your neck, rubbing his rough tongue on the gland. katsuki growls quietly at the taste of your preheat, his own aroused scent bleeding and saturating the air.

you reek of arousal and slick, your hands tugging his shirt off and exposing his hot skin. you whine against his touch and slip your hands off of his shirt.

“taste so good, pretty girl,” katsuki groans as he starts making a hickey on your neck. “fuck, your scent drives me crazy.”

you moan at the praise as he slips his hand under your shirt, palming your tits. he lifts the shirt, taking a moment to admire the view, then tosses it aside.

he uses one hand to tweak your nipples while he massages the other, giving your nipple the occasional nip. 

“alpha,” you whine, grabbing his hand and moving it down towards your crotch.

“so needy, pretty girl,” he teases and drags your panties down your legs. “god, you're soaked.”

katsuki kisses his way down before stopping when you squeeze your thighs together. you cover your face with your hands. 

“what’s wrong?”

“i’m just nervous,” you mutter and take a deep breath. “okay, i’m fine.”

he kisses your thighs a few times, rumbling when you open them a little more. enough for him to put them over his shoulder. “good girl,” he whispers, kissing his way towards your cunt. he licks his thumb and slowly rubs your clit, placing a hand on your stomach to stop you from squirming too much.

katsuki licks your folds and shivers from the heavenly taste of your slick. he slowly licks your clit, feeling your thighs tense up by his head. his eyes meet yours over your stomach as he slowly pushes his middle finger into you, pushing some of your juices out and down his palm.

you gasp at the feeling and start to rock your hips. “can’t believe you’re all fuckin’ mine. you’re so wet down here, beautiful.” a huskiness takes over the rasp in his voice, tracing his words into your sex causing your hips to instinctively buck up into his face— riding his tongue to your heart's content.

katsuki licks your clit until your slick is dripping down the seam of your ass into your nest, darkening the pink fabric of your sheets. 

“fuck, katsuki,” you whimper, grinding against his tongue and finger while gripping his hair. “alpha, please don’t stop!”

your leg trembles next to his head, katsuki recognising it means you’re about to cum. he sucks your clit again, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. you gasp loudly and tug his hair as your back arches out of your nest. “fuck, alpha, yes!”

katsuki doesn’t pull away until you pull at his scalp. “you taste so damn sweet, pretty girl. can’t get enough of you,” he groans, licking his finger and hand. the action makes your cheeks burn despite what just happened.

he climbs over you, his scent aroused and heavy with caramel. he rumbles loudly and licks your neck again, tasting your concentrated scent.

“alpha,” you whine.

katsuki pulls away and looks at your face. “yes, pretty girl?”

“fuck me.”

“are you sure?”

you nod. “please? i want you.”

his scent flares again at your words. “whatever you want, pretty girl.”

you squirm impatiently as you wait for him to pull his joggers and boxers off. your omega preens at the sight of his dick. better than you imagined after seeing it on camera.

“y’like what you see, pretty girl?” he chuckles as you nod eagerly.

katsuki lines himself up, tapping your clit with the leaking tip. he slowly pushes in, and watches your face for any discomfort. your head turns and sinks into the pillow, neck exposed instinctively.

“shit you’re tight, pretty girl. you okay?”

you keen loudly in response, gripping the sheets tighter. without your patches katsuki can smell the unfiltered pheromones of your heat heavy in the air.

he lifts one of your legs and grips your thigh as he starts to move. his alpha howls internally while katsuki tries his best to stay in control.

“more, alpha,” you moan and grasp his shoulders, pulling him down to nose at his scent gland. “harder.”

katsuki growls lowly and thrusts harder as he feels you nip his scent gland. he rubs at your clit while thrusting and takes pride in the pornographic moans you let out near his ear.

“want it inside, need you inside! f-fuck yes!” you garble, katsuki’s dick driving you up the wall insane.

“you want me to cum inside, pretty girl?” he groans, thrusting faster. “you want me to make a mess in those pretty walls of yours?”

you nod emphatically, blinking tearily up at him. “knot?”

“not today, pretty girl,” he sighs, wiping your tears before kissing you.

“mate?” you murmur against his lips.

“someday.”

you whine softly into the kiss and gasp when the combination of his thrusts and him rubbing your clit starts to send you over the edge. you cum with a choked off shout, wrapping your thigh around katsuki’s waist to pull him deeper. “knot!”

katsuki manages to pry your leg off and pull out, spreading your legs open to watch your hole drool and spasm around nothing. you howl miserably, reaching out for him. katsuki’s nose wrinkles at the hint of distressed omega and lets you hold him in a tight hug, rumbling and kissing your cheeks to soothe you until your scent sweetens up again.

“feeling better?”

you nod and hold him tighter, purring into his neck.

“you wanna cuddle for a bit or do you wanna take a nap?”

you look up at him. “alpha didn’t finish?”

“i’m fine, pretty girl, don’t worry,” he coos.

you pout but lay back down on the blanket, shutting your eyes.

katsuki kisses your forehead and climbs out of bed to get a washrag from the bathroom to clean you up. the whole time you’re purring happily, watching him through heavy eyes.

“pretty,” you slur when he kisses your nose. “you’re very pretty, katsuki.”

“if i’m pretty then you’re stunning, tiny,” he chuckles, tossing the rag into the laundry basket in the corner of your room. “sleep well. i’ll be here when you wake up.”

your eyes start to close as you rest against katsuki’s chest. “night alpha.”

katsuki kisses your hairline before carefully climbing out of your bed and picking up his boxers. he pads out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet and wrapping his fist around his dick. he groans to himself as he thinks back to you asleep in your nest, blissed out from him fucking you. he jerks himself off to the thought of you beneath him and cums into a wadded up tissue with a gasp before cleaning himself up. ‘shit.’

you’re still asleep by the time he returns in his boxers, snoring quietly in your nest. happy omega pheromones and the lingering smell of sex wafting through the air.

katsuki climbs into your nest beside you and rests his head on top of yours. he lets out a soft rumble before falling asleep, planning to wake up later and make something to eat.

the first two days you’re easy to keep happy. katsuki buries his face, and his dick, in you everytime you ask. you snuggle in the nest, only leaving to use the bathroom or eat but then it’s right back to cuddling. although the last couple of hours, katsuki seems to be a little more clingy, always right behind you unless you’re in the bathroom, then he waited outside.

you and your omega don’t mind it. you like it actually. you sit in your nest nibbling on your snacks while he cuddles you.

on the third day however, you wake up hot and bothered. squirming in bed and pushing your fingers into your sopping pussy. katsuki hears your wails from the kitchen, turning off the stove and setting the pan of eggs aside to rush to the bedroom.

“pretty girl are you—holy shit…” he growls, taking in your saturated scent and closing the door behind him. “you smell good enough to eat.”

you whine and pull out your fingers, irritated because it doesn’t help. “alpha, it hurts.”

katsuki feels his alpha take control as he walks over to you, shedding his sweatpants. “don’t worry, omega. i’ll make you feel better,” he growls lowly.

you lay on your stomach and raise your hips up, presenting to him. you reach under you and rub your fingers along your slit, spreading your lips with your fingers. “alpha. breed me, please.”

“i’d love to pretty girl,” katsuki groans, climbing into your nest and rubbing your clit a couple of times before pushing in. his eyes darken as he looks at your swollen scent gland. he leans forward and licks it fervently, occasionally nipping it and basking in the scent. ‘fuck, she’s mine. mate, mate, mate.’

you cry out, fingers gripping the sheets. katsuki’s smokey caramel scent bleeds into the air, the undertone of rut present. “oh fuck! you smell so good, katsuki.”

“so do you, pretty girl. god, your scent drives me crazy,” he growls, thrusting faster. katsuki places a hand on the back of your neck and grins when he sees your nails practically rip the sheets. “good girl. good fuckin’ girl.”

his blunt nails dig into the globe of your ass, holding you in place so he can listen to the lewd, squelch of your cunt as he slips in and out of you.

it’s so different, better, than a beta’s dick. having just the right amount of thickness and length to fill and satisfy you.

long strands of your slick cling to his cock, dripping down his shaft and balls with every withdrawal. 

“‘suki—!” your cry is hoarse and needy as you claw at your sheets, drooling and crying into them. hips drawing back and forth clumsily to meet his loud, wet thrusts.

katsuki grips your ass as his head hangs over your shoulder. he feels his incisors grow as he lets out a growl and sinks his teeth into your shoulder, just far enough from your scent gland.

you moan loudly, hissing at the pain. you rock your hips back and feel your eyes roll back as the knot in your stomach tightens.

“fuck, alpha, i’m gonna cum.”

katsuki rumbles in approval and pulls his teeth out, the tips of his fangs tinted red. “cum for me, my pretty little omega,” he grunts, rubbing your clit faster.

you sob and reach back to hold his arm, digging your nails into the inner skin. katsuki’s knot swells up, catching on your sore rim with every withdrawal. when it finally presses in, flushing his hips flat on your ass, you cum, kicking your feet and mewling loudly. katsuki groans low in his throat at the feeling of your insides squeezing his dick and knot. his abs tighten and flex, snarling when his balls pump hot cum into you. your omega purrs happily at the feeling of getting filled by a real alpha knot, your scent spiking with content.

katsuki grunts softly and rests his head near the bite mark he left on you, panting while kissing it.

you tilt your neck and let out a happy purr as he softly praises you.

your cunt flutters at his words, drooling more slick around his knot and down your thighs. katsuki rolls his hips forward, nudging his dick and knot deeper. you smile into your sheets, knowing you’re far from done. for the next two days both of you barely leave the nest, sucking and fucking at all times of the day and night. katsuki leaves numerous bite marks on your shoulders, tummy and thighs, purposefully ignoring your scent gland.

by the end of your heat, and his triggered rut, you’re spent. too tired and drained to move.

you get a complaint from one of your neighbours but katsuki’s growls and protective scent scares them off.

“i might have to take a few extra days off,” you mutter and roll over in bed. “my neck hurts…”

“sorry,” he chuckles and pulls on his boxers. “what do you wanna eat?”

you sigh blissfully and look at his own bite marks and hickeys. “hot cocoa and marshmallows.”

“that’s not breakfast.”

“hot cocoa with marshmallows and pancakes?”

“you want any toppings?”

“chocolate chips.”

“you don't need all that sugar,” he snickers.

“please?” you whine, looking up at him.

“stop using those puppy dog eyes on me. fine.”

“yay,” you chirp as he kisses your forehead.

mina comes back the following monday and immediately covers her nose at the smell of both yours and katsuki’s cycles. “well, at least i'm not the only one who had fun,” she snickers, dragging her suitcase inside.

your bedroom door opens and a head of cropped blond hair peeks out to inspect who’s ‘invading’ the space.

“hi katsuki.”

“pinky,” he acknowledges and goes back inside, shutting the door.

“mina’s back?” you yawn, sitting up from the bed and stretching. 

“yeah. i’m gonna go get some water. i’ll be back.”

you nod and let out a happy purr as he kisses your nose and lips. ‘my alpha.’

your back barely touches the bed when mina barges in, pushing katsuki out of the doorway. “it reeks in this whole apartment.”

“mina!” you cheer tiredly and open your arms for hugs. “i missed you!”

katsuki growls at mina as she rushes you and squeezes you tightly while scenting you. ‘now i have to re-scent her.’

“i missed you too!”

katsuki rolls his eyes and watches the two of you chat before he gets his water.

once katsuki leaves the room, mina asks you to spill the tea. “how was it? is he big? did he claim you? oh my god that's a lot of bite marks.”

“amazing, yes, no, and you should see the ones i left on him.” you swoon dreamily. “it was great. i don’t think i’ve ever had a heat this good.”

“since it went so well, you should ask him to spend all your heats with you,” mina grins.

you pick up your new pegasus squishmallow and squeal into it. “noooo, i’m shy.”

“he brought you gifts and he was here for this heat and your last one. he really likes you and an alpha wouldn't do this unless he wanted you to be their girlfriend.”

“you think so?”

mina nods eagerly and gives you one more hug. “it never hurts to just ask, bestie.”

katsuki knocks on the door. “breakfast is ready.”

“ooh yum,” mina smiles.

“not for you, pinky.”

“boo.”

after breakfast, you ask the dreaded question, your stomach in knots.

“can i ask you something?” you say to katsuki as he puts down a mug of hot cocoa in front of you.

“yes there’s marshmallows inside.”

you look down and see the pink and white gooey treats floating in the brown liquid. “yum, but that’s not it.”

he sits across from you, folding his arms on the table and leaning forward to listen.

“would you want to spend the rest of my heats with me? you're an amazing alpha and this one was better than any other heat i’ve had and i’d really love to do this again…and spend time together maybe outside of my heats too...”you mumble shyly.

“i’d love to, pretty girl, just on one condition.”

“yeah?”

“will you be my girlfriend?”

you freeze up, staring at his face. your mouth dropped for a quiet, “ah.”

“y/n?” katsuki questions. “are you okay?”

mina stands behind you, excited grin on her face. “she accepts.”

“y/n, you okay?” katsuki chuckles, softly waving his hand in your face. he walks around the counter, cups your cheek, and looks down at you, snapping you out of your trance. “there she is. welcome back, pretty girl.”

you purr softly and melt a little in his hold. “i’d love to,” you smile, pulling him in for a hug and scenting him.

katsuki smiles and kisses your forehead, hugging you back.

“aww,” mina coos. “i told you it’ll be fine.”

“mina, go away,” you huff in embarrassment.

“i'm just happy for you, bestie,” she giggles.

the next few months with katsuki have been the best relationship you’ve had in a long time. you’ve never felt so loved and special.

“so you’re off tomorrow?” katsuki smiles at his phone as he sees you in your lab coat with a stethoscope around your neck.

you put a file down on the desk. “yup. why, you got something planned?”

“i was hoping you could come to the new club. it's opening night tonight and i’d love to have my pretty girl by my side.”

“aww,” you swoon. “that’s so sweet. i’d love to. just send me the address and i’ll be there. now i just have to find something to wear,” you think wistfully.

“you look good in anything and nothing,” he chuckles.

“katsuki!” you gasp. 

“it’s true. you’ll look good in anything. i’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“okay.”

“talk to you later, y/n.”

“bye alpha,” you giggle. before you hang up, a nurse peeks her head in.

“l/n, you have one more patient.”

you put your phone aside so katsuki can see your face. “bring them in.”

she walks in holding a baby sniffling quietly.

“a baby!” you coo, your scent turning sweeter. “aw look at the baby!”

katsuki silently watches as you hold the baby, fawning over it and smiling when they hold onto one of your fingers.

“let’s get you checked out, cutie,” you smile at the little boy. “i’ll call you later katsuki.”

he waves and hangs up.

you sit the baby on the little bed, looking up when his mother comes in. “hello, ma’am. what seems to be wrong with this little cutie,” you smile, booping his nose.

*

you step out of the bathroom and show off your outfit. “okay, how’s this one?”

camie cringes at the black sequin shirt. “no.”

“what? but i like this one,” you pout.

“bestie, this is opening night of your boyfriend’s new club! you gotta look stunning if you're gonna be by his side for the majority of the night!”

“camie’s right,” mina says while looking through your closet. “ooh, what about this?!” she gasps, pulling a two piece pink outfit.

“ohemgee, yesss, wear this!” camie squeals as mina hands it to you. “also, burn that black shirt.”

“but i like this…”

she shakes her head. “no.”

you scoff and go back into the bathroom to change, fixing your braids and makeup before stepping out. “okay, i like this one better.”

you adjust the skirt a little and do a little spin.

“so?”

“my bestie looks so cute! katsuki won’t be able to take his eyes off of you tonight,” mina giggles.

“you think so? is my stomach showing too much?” you touch the soft pudge peeking over the waistband.

“if you can still walk by tomorrow, katsuki missed his chance,” camie snickers.

camie leads you and mina out of your apartment into the waiting uber, taking a million pictures.

you nervously play with your faux locs, hoping katsuki likes your outfit. it’s not as glamorous as the girls he’s used to but you feel pretty in it so that’s all that matters.

there’s already a line of people when the uber pulls up, muffled music blasting inside.

“ugh, a line?” camie scoffs. “no fucking way.”

“hold on, katsuki gave me a code to show the bouncer.” you rummage through your phone and open the texts for the qr code. nervously you walk up to the scary, beefy bouncer. “um, hi. i’m with bakugou.”

he squints at you.

“i have a code i’m supposed to show you?” you hold up the phone. the bouncer takes out a small scanning device and holds it to your phone until the light turns green.

“enjoy,” he rasps and steps aside to let you and the girls through the door.

“oooh, vip,” camie giggles. “can we get some of those?”

“i’ll ask,” you laugh and smooth down your neck patch. “he said to go upstairs to the vip section and he’ll be there.”

“perks of a club owning boyfie,” mina giggles.you walk up the glass steps with the girls, passing by a few empty booths. katsuki is standing by the railing talking to some employees, looking frustrated as ever.

you wave at mina and camie as they meet with their boyfriends, walking up to katsuki and gently touching his arm. 

you look up at him when he jerks away and lets out a low growl before stopping when he picks up your underlying scent.

“pretty girl?”

“hi, alpha,” you chirp and let him kiss your cheek. “ew, suki, you’re gonna ruin my makeup.”

“you don’t need it. you’re so fuckin’ beautiful.” he holds your hand up and slowly spins you around.

“thank you~” you smile shyly.

katsuki brushes the employees off and focuses on you, touching one of your scent patches. “do you have to wear these?”

“by law, suki, i have to.”

“fuck the law.”

“katsuki!”

“just take them off, it’s fine up here. i won’t tell on you,” he teases.

you scratch your neck. “they are annoying…”

“you can put them back on when we're leaving.”

“okay,” you hum, slowly peeling off the scent patch and squealing when katsuki kisses your scent gland and rests his face on your neck.

‘mine.’

“get a room!” eijirou playfully shouts from the booth across from yours.

“you two were practically fucking when she went to komori the first time! shut up!” katsuki growls and pulls you into the booth to sit next to him.

“the club looks good,” you compliment. “i like the quieter booth idea.”

“it seemed like a good idea since i couldn't hear you last time.”

you hum softly and lean on him, purring softly.

“we should totally do shots!” camie cheers, hanging off inasa who chuckles and holds her waist.

mina giggles and waves the waitress over for a round of tequila shots and other drinks. katsuki orders a virgin mojito with mango syrup for you, refusing to drink since he was driving.

“aw, you remembered!” you hum, rubbing your cheek in his arm. 

‘course i did. wouldn't forget a damn thing about you.’ “got a whole non-alcoholic section of the menu for you.”

“awww,” you swoon and put your hands on your chest. “that’s so sweet!”

katsuki kisses your cheek and rumbles softly. camie takes a few sneaky pictures of both of you, fawning over how cute you both are.

“hey, y/n, look at the drink menu.”

you look over and notice a drink with strawberry and lemonade called ‘the pretty girl’. “katsuki, what’s this?”

“it's one of the new drinks. most of the drink menu is the same from komori but this one’s new. named it after you,” katsuki says low enough for only you to hear.

his deep voice reverberates through you as he kisses your temple. he chuckles softly as you fan your eyes, trying not to cry.

“katsuki,” you whine. “that’s beautiful. stop being so charming before i cry and ruin my makeup.”

“sorry, pretty girl,” he chuckles.

you spend time with him and giggle when he rubs your side.

three more people make their way into the lounge and eijirou cheers at their arrival. “hey! you guys made it!”

you look up from your drink and gasp at a familiar head of green hair. “katsuki, that’s deku!” you repeatedly tap katsuki’s arm.

“i know.”

“what is he doing here?!”

“we grew up together. he got invited.”

“you know deku?!”

katsuki raises his brow. “yeah, why?”

“i’m kind of a fan,” you admit and glance at izuku. “oh god he’s looking at me!” you silently squeal.

“relax, pretty girl,” he chuckles. 

izuku makes his way over with his signature smile. “hi kacchan. who’s this?”

you sit up straighter, scent turning excited. “hi deku. i’m y/n. i’m such a huge fan. i follow you on instagram and i love your work.”

“thank you!” he grins back, always happy to meet a fan. “nice to meet you, you can just call me izuku.” he holds his hand out for you to shake.

you shake it, internally screaming. katsuki chuffs and puts his arm on your waist. “she’s my omega, deku.”

“really? i'm glad you found someone that can handle you,” he chuckles.

“yeah, so back off,” he huffs.

“don't worry. besides, you know i’m with shoto.”

“uh huh.”

you giggle softly as katsuki rests his head on yours. 

izuku gives you a gentle smile before walking over to a booth of his own, later joined by a man with red and white hair, split down the middle.

“holy shit, i just met deku!” you gasp to katsuki, smiling wide. 

“he’s not that great,” katsuki grumbles.

“he’s so cool! but alpha’s better,” you hum, as katsuki grins softly. 

“damn right i am.” he presses his lips against yours, hands on your thigh dipping under your skirt.

“suki!” you gasp into the kiss as he squeezes your inner thigh. “w-wait, i have to pee.”

“tch, fine. hurry back.”

you drop your purse in his lap and quickly exit the booth, descending the steps. you get bumped by a few people but finally make it to the bathroom, sighing at the scent free air. after checking your makeup in the mirror and washing your hand, you step out but bump into someone walking by.

“oops, i'm sorry,” you smile before looking up at them. “oh, it’s you.”

shindo looks down at who bumped into him before a cheshire grin crosses his face. “well, well, we meet again sweetheart.”

“i didn't expect to see you here. it’s been a while, nice to see you again. shindo, right?”

“yup. and you’re l/n. what’s up?”

“i’m just here to support katsuki,” you chime.

he hums, pushing his dark hair back. “yeah, i see the pictures on his page. cute.”

you smile again. “thank you.”

he takes a step forward towards you. odd.

“you smell really good,” he compliments.

“uh, thank you?” you mumble, walking around him. “well, it was nice seeing you.”

you stiffen when you feel shindo grasp your wrist. “where you going? we’re hanging out.”

the action makes the gland on his wrist rub against your skin, covering your hand in his sandalwood scent. your omega panics at the action of someone scenting you without permission.

“no, we’re not. let go of me,” you whimper, tugging at his wrist before rushing back towards the glass steps once you get free, holding your wrist to your chest. 

you sit down in a daze, not realising you’ve sat next to eijirou instead of at yours and katsuki’s booth.

“hey, y/n. woah, are you okay? you smell terrified.”

“i…” you mumble and touch your wrist. “someone scented me without permission.”

“scented you?” eijirou repeats.

mina overhears and practically climbs over eijirou to get to you. “what?! who scented you?”

katsuki walks over when he sees you sitting with them. “hey, why—what happened?” he growls, noticing your distressed scent.

you look up at katsuki and reach for him, unshed tears pricking your lash line. “alpha,” you sniffle.

he sits next to you, cupping your face. “shh, it’s okay. what happened?”

you wordlessly hold up the wrist shindo scented to his face. katsuki looks at you before growling loudly when he smells your scent mixed with shindo’s.“that bastard!”

eijirou holds his nose when katsuki’s scent spikes. “dude, relax.”

izuku, more familiar with katsuki’s scents, puts his hand on the blond’s shoulder. “kacchan, calm down.”

“that bastard touched my omega. he fuckin’ scented her without her consent! he needs to fucking know not to touch what’s mine,” he growls.

camie tries to calm you down, rubbing her wrist on yours to drown out shindos sharp scent. 

mina hugs you close as you whimper softly. katsuki grumbles to himself and storms out of the vip area. 

“where’s he going?” you sniffle and wipe your eyes with a tissue.

“hopefully he doesn’t do anything stupid,” izuku sighs. “i should go after him.”

you watch izuku follow katsuki, taking off your loose lash. “ugh, i don’t have any glue…”

“just take off the other bestie. you still look cute,” camie smiles, letting out a soothing pheromone.

“thanks, you guys.”

“what happened, anyway?” mina asks.

“i was leaving the bathroom and i bumped into him and it was whatever, then he started complimenting me and i felt a little uncomfortable. i tried going back up the stairs and he grabbed my wrist and scented me,” you explain.

“he looked so nice in his pictures. who knew he was such an ass,” camie pouts. “boo.”

katsuki descends the stairs, his eyes darting through the crowd until he sees shindo sitting at the bar, nonchalantly drinking a whiskey with thyme. he marches his way through the crowd and tugs the brunet back by his collar, spinning shindo and swinging his fist across his face.

a few people gasp at the sight, pausing their dancing.

“woah, man, what’s your problem?” shindo asks, cupping his aching jaw.

“you know damn well what you did! how fuckin’ dare you scent my omega!” katsuki seethes.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“you’re a goddamn liar and a fucking piece of shit!”

shindo glares at katsuki, still cupping his jaw before swinging at katsuki, growling when he misses.

a crowd surrounds the two, causing a commotion while some people chant, ‘fight fight fight!’

you pull away from your friends to peek over the railing at the commotion, gasping when you see katsuki and shindo fighting. “can someone stop them before katsuki gets hurt? where’s deku?”

you let out a distressed whine, watching the brawl. izuku places a hand on katsuki’s shoulder, making katsuki stop swinging as shindo lays bruised and battered on the tiled floor.

he looks up at you then back at shindo and scowls. “you’re fuckin’ lucky you’re not dead,” he growls before walking off, making his way towards you.

you look up at him, subtly releasing calming pheromones underneath your scared scent.

“it’s okay now, pretty girl.”

you scan katsuki for any injuries and whimper when you see his bruised knuckles, the skin on his index finger a little scratched up. “you should get this cleaned up.”

camie soaks a tissue in one of her tequila shots and uses it to wipe katsuki’s scratch. he winces slightly and starts to growl.

“oh relax, ya big baby,” camie scoffs.

“you try putting pure alcohol onto your wounds then tell me how you feel,” he grumbles.

camie rolls her eyes. “you’re welcome.”

“alpha?” you call out, rubbing the back of his uninjured hand. “are you sure you’re okay? we can leave if you want.”

“i’m fine, pretty girl. nothing i can’t handle. let's just enjoy the rest of our night. you still haven’t tried your namesake.”

“but you’re hurt. and what if shindo tries to beat you up again?”

katsuki scoffs. “he’s been kicked out, don’t worry about it.”

“if you say so. i just want to make sure you’re okay. we can go home and i can treat your wound properly.”

katsuki smiles down at you and kisses your temple.

“we can play doctor another time,” he whispers in your ear, grinning to himself when you look down at your lap and feel your face start to burn.

“katsuki! you're so bold!”

“only for you, pretty girl.”

you let out a soft purr as he scoots closer to you. “you’re so annoying…”

“but you like me when i’m annoying,” he chuckles and stands back up. “i have to go talk to my employees. stay here and stay cute.”

“okay,” you chirp, watching him descend the stairs. while hanging out with the girls and katsuki’s friends, you bond with hanta and shoto, giggling at hanta’s jokes and explaining a couple to shoto.

a waitress comes up the stairs and places a drink in front of you. “one drink for you miss,” she  smiles politely.

“oh, i didn’t order this,” you mumble.

“courtesy of the boss. it’s the pretty girl.”

“ooh,” you chirp happily and pick it up, waving the dry ice cloud away. “it looks so good, thank you.”

“wait!” camie squawks and holds up her phone, taking a quick picture of it. “totally mood board inspo.”

“it’s so pretty,” mina awes. “what’s it taste like?”

you take a quick sip and snack your lips together. “like a spicy strawberry. it’s pretty good.”

“ooh, can i get one?!” mina asks. “was her’s virgin?”

“yes. i can get the bartender to add vodka and tequila if you want,” the waitress says.

“i’ll have that.”

“me too!” camie giggles.

you happily sip your drink as shoto stares at it. “something on your mind?”

“how did you get katsuki to act so docile around you?” he mutters. “is the drink really that good?”

you nod and ask the lady to bring two more so you can get one for shoto. “docile?”

hanta leans over to talk to you. “no offense but he’s crazy. i don’t think i’ve ever seen him calm when he’s not asleep.”

“really? i mean he’s protective but that’s about it,” you hum. “he’s a good alpha though. he makes good food, brings me gifts, and he treats me like a princess,” you smile.

“what’d he get you?” camie asks, grinning when the waitress comes by with a small tray of pink drinks and a light pink one.

“he gave me this bracelet a few days ago,” you grin and show her the diamond cuban link bracelet on your wrist twinkling under the neon lights.

“wow, that looks like it cost a lot! he really cares about you.” 

“came in a little red box and everything,” mina snorts.

you touch the jewellery. “i wouldn’t know. he refused to tell me how much it was. i love it though, i’m just too scared to wear it out cause what if i lose it?”

shoto gently holds your wrist and inspects the bracelet.“i don’t think it will. it looks custom made so it won’t slip off.”

you look at the chain and gasp. “really?”

he nods and gently tilts your wrist. “it looks like the chain i was gonna get midoriya. might be the same crafter.”

“aww,” you and the girls swoon.

izuku makes his way back up the stairs, with a glass of water in hand. “what did i miss?”

“nothing!”

“just talking about how y/n managed to tame the beast known as bakubro,” eijirou chuckles, placing his arm over mina’s shoulders.

“ooh yeah, he was really mad before he came up here. shindo’s out though and i think he’ll be out of a lot of places for a while.”

“good, that asshole deserves it for what he did. he’s lucky, katsuki didn’t call the cops on him after he got tossed out of komori the first time,” hanta adds.

“guy’s lucky i wasn’t on shift when i worked there,” eijirou scoffs.

you preen a little at the thought of the alpha defending your honour, hiding your smile in your drink.

“uh oh, someone’s flustered,” sero teases

“what? no i’m not!” you sputter.

“you’re stinking up the place,” mina comments.

your hand smacks your neck. “i should put my patches back on…”

mina hands you a set she keeps in her bag. “here. i kept these in my purse for you. also, your bag’s still in the other booth.”

“oh, i’ll go get it,” you nod and stand up to grab your bag, stopping when the music dies down and you hear feedback from a microphone. you look over the railing and see katsuki standing by the dj with a mic in hand. ‘what’s going on?’

katsuki gives a brief, grumbled speech mentioning the grand opening, picking up an orange drink. his eyes drift up to the railing, settling on your figure. you give him a small wave and smile.

he holds the glass up at you, but vaguely enough for people to think he’s just making a toast. “i’d like to raise a glass to the future success of the komori franchise. to komori!”

the crowd cheers and raises their glasses. once he takes a sip, he looks up at you and winks before descending the dj area as the music picks up again.

once katsuki makes his way back to the private area, his friends congratulate him. he scoffs lowly and rolls his eyes before walking over to you. 

“you like the drink?” he comments when he sees your glasses on the table.

“it’s yummy,” you grin up at him, putting your arms around his neck. “thank you.”

a muscled arm circles your waist until you’re flush against katsuki’s bulky frame. his smokey scent flaring out. his hand squeezes your bottom and you frantically hold your skirt hem so he doesn’t pull it up.

“get it bestie!” mina cheers as eijirou and hanta woop playfully.

“oh god,” you mutter in embarrassment and hide your face in katsuki’s black shirt.

katsuki leads you back to your booth and sits you down next to him. “you smell different.”

“my scent was flaring up so i put the patches back on.”

he chuffs. “i liked it without the patches.”

“maybe later?”

“i’ll hold ya to that, tiny,” he smirks.

after a long night, you finally convince everyone to let you leave with katsuki.

“i’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell a tipsy mina leaning on eijirou.

“noooooo,” she whines. “got- gotta go with meh bestie. you…you are my bestie~”

“take care of her,” you giggle at eijirou and scoot out of the booth, holding katsuki’s hand.

“i will,” eijirou chuckles. “c’mon babe, let’s get you home.”

“don’t leave me eiji, i lub you,” she sniffles.

“i won’t. i’ll get you some water when you get home and we can cuddle.”

“cuddles? i like cuddles…”

“i know, mimi.”

outside, you breathe in the fresh autumn air. not realising how stuffy it was in the club. you whine and lean on katsuki, kicking your foot up to rub your heel. “my feet are killing me.”

“if you want, i’ll give you a massage.”

“your hand is still injured so i’ll have to take a raincheck. but thank you for the offer alpha,” you chirp.

he leads you into his car and opens the passenger door for you, kissing your cheek before you sit. after climbing inside and starting the car, katsuki drives off towards his apartment uptown.

you hold onto his arm as he leads you inside, giggling as he kisses you softly, subtly peeling off your scent patches and tucking them into your purse to throw away later.

“ugh, i’m exhausted,” you groan and drape yourself over his army green couch, checking your phone. “three a.m?! time really flew.”

“we had too much fun, that’s why,” he chuckles and kicks off his loafers next to your heels by the door.

you hum tiredly and tie up your locs, nose wrinkling at the tiny bit of shindo’s stink scent on your wrist.

“what’s wrong, pretty girl?” katsuki questions when he sees your expression.

“i still smell like him…i need a shower.”

“oh~?” 

“an actual shower, please. no funny stuff.”

“alright. alright. i think you still have some of your clothes and stuff  here from last time in the closet. i’ll be out here. do you want anything to eat in the meantime?”

“i’m okay. well, maybe some water.”

“alright.”

over the past few months, you’ve left little bits of yourself in katsuki’s lavish, dark penthouse with each visit. you find the little travel shower kit you left in his walk-in closet and notice something bright orange peeking out between some folded dark clothes on one of the shelves.

curiosity gets the better of you and you peel it out, opening it and reading the words printed on the front. ‘dynamight?’

did ‘dynamite’ get misspelt? you turn it a few times, see some scribbled writing on the sleeve, wonder if it’s big enough for you to wear after the shower and gently place it back on the shelf for later.

you take a well deserved shower and change into a new white shirt and a pair of pink shorts, picking the hoodie up again. “alpha?” you call out from his room. not hearing a reply, you wear the hoodie anyway, wiggling the big sleeves around.

the collar is saturated in his warm caramel scent, and a little detergent, making your omega purr happily.

you giggle softly and flap your arms as you walk down the stairs towards the living room.

“hey pretty girl, were you calling m—” katsuki calls out as he walks out of the pantry. “where did you find that?

“i found it in your closet.” you rub the soft sleeve. “i hope you don’t mind.”

‘she’s wearing the all might hoodie…’

“it’s fine, don't worry.”

“why does it say ‘dynamight’ on it though? is it like a collectible where they spell a word wrong?”

“it’s a long story.”

you clap softly. “ooh, story.”

he chortles under his breath and leans on the black marble counter. “all might is a comic book character from when i was a kid deku and i were obsessed with. ‘dynamight’ is—you’re gonna laugh at this—it’s kind of a fan name i came up with and printed it on the hoodie.”

“awwww!” you coo at the story. “that’s so cute!”

“i met the actor that played him in the live action show in that hoodie during a fashion show when i was, i think, twenty four, and he signed the sleeve for me.”

“that’s so cool! where’d you get this sweatshirt by the way? it’s so comfy,” you giggle, looking at him and eagerly flapping your hands. “hehe, i’ve got sleeve hands.”

‘cute,’ he thinks. ‘so small.’

“can’t remember.” he shrugs.

“aw,” you pout and put the hood up. “i’m keeping it.”

“if you keep stealing my sweatshirts there won’t be any left,” he chuckles.

“but they’re so comfy.”

“i’ll make you a deal. you can have that one if you give me the ones that don’t have my scent anymore.”

“whyyy?” you whine. “i like your hoodies.”

“I know but i need some of them back, pretty girl.” you pout before an idea crosses your mind. you look up at suki with big eyes, silently begging him to change his mind.

he grimaces. “not the puppy eyes.”

“please?”

“pretty girl…”

“please alpha,” you whine, holding onto his arm and adding a pout with a slight lip quiver. katsuki feels his chest pang with guilt. “i’ll do anything for another hoodie.”

“ugh, fine. you can keep it for now.”

“yay!” you squeal and hug his arm tighter. “thank you, ‘suki.”

“you’re welcome. did you still want that water?”

“yes please! but first lemme see your hands,” you order. katsuki lets you see his bruised hands, your thumb going over the scrapes. “i’ll dress this up after you take a shower.”

“you don’t have to, it’s not even that bad,” he insists.

“you have to clean them properly, katsuki.”

he chuckles at your fussing. “okay, nurse.”

“doctor,” you correct.

“oh, sorry dr. pretty girl.”

“better,” you smile proudly. “now go shower and i’ll meet you in your den.”

“yes doctor,” he teases.

after about fifteen minutes, katsuki emerges from his bathroom, a towel wrapped around his neck with a pair of sweatpants dangerously low on his hips .

you sit on the bed with his mini first aid kit and clean up the wound with rubbing alcohol, putting a dark green bandage on the biggest scrape.

“thanks again,” you say quietly. “you didn’t have to beat him up like that…”

“he made you uncomfortable and scented you without permission,” he growls.

you kiss his bandaged knuckles. “thank you, alpha.”

“i’d do anything for you, pretty girl,” he smiles, cupping your cheek tenderly. 

both of you settle into bed for the night, somehow ending up naked and enjoying the skin on skin contact. you sleepily rub your cheek on his chest, purring softly and covering him in warm vanilla.

katsuki looks down at you and strokes your cheek with his thumb as you nestle impossibly closer. “g’night, alpha,” you yawn, slowly drifting off.

katsuki smiles at you and kisses your forehead. “goodnight pretty girl.” he waits until your breathing turns deep and even. “i love you.”

you smile softly in your sleep at the sound of the tender words, snuggling closer and falling asleep.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for reading a book my brother recommended to me too slowly?

Before anyone says anything, I am already aware of how petty this whole thing is.

I (17ftm) and my brother, W (14ftm) generally have an okay relationship, if a bit argumentative. We also have similar book taste, and often enjoy the same books.

In July, I finished a book called Hell Followed With Us, which I will refer to from now on as HFWU. I really enjoyed it, and more importantly, it's the exact kind of book W would really like. So I recommended it to him. I even created a whole playlist with the book's vibes for him to listen to while he read it. I was really excited to show it to him. And, back in JULY, he said "Yeah, this sounds cool, I'll add it to my reading list and I'm pretty sure I'll get to it before school starts." (School starts August 31st for us.)

Guess what book he still hasn't read yet.

I think it's within my rights to be at least a little frustrated. I have tried reminding him that he promised to read HFWU and trying to talk to him about it, but every time I try, he gets defensive and I get aggressive and it just turns into a yelling match that goes nowhere.

And now W has handed me a book he wants me to read. It's Carry On, referred to now on as CO. (It's the first book in a trilogy, but he doesn't think the other two are that good and doesn't really care whether or not I read them.) Again, we have similar book tastes, so this isn't unusual. However. He expects me to read it immediately. I think that's a pretty big double standard, huh, W? I have to read your book immediately but if I ask you to read a book you put on your reading list FOUR MONTHS AGO, I'm the bad guy? Really?

Now here's the part where I think I might be TA.

I have started reading CO, but I'm being extremely slow about it on purpose. CO is a little over five hundred pages, and it normally takes me roughly 2-3 days to finish a book that size, as I am a pretty fast reader. I have had CO for three days, and I've barely read 50 pages. I am being this slow on purpose, to annoy him, because he won't read HFWU even though he said he would. Honestly, if he had no interest in it, I wouldn't be offended. We've both turned down each other's recommendations before to no offense. It wouldn't be an issue, and he knows that. He isn't following through on his promise. However, I am being a dick by reading CO purposefully slow. Also, I'm not really giving the book a chance. I'm saying I don't like it and being annoyed by it when, in all honesty, in different circumstances I probably would have really liked it.

Also, yesterday, W made a comment about how slow I was reading CO, and I said something to the affect of "Wow, you recommended a book that you care about to your brother that you think he'd really like, he said he would read it, and he's now being annoyingly slow about it? Can't IMAGINE what that would feel like, can I? Although I bet if I could, I would say it REALLY SUCKS." Which prompted him to get mad at me and say that HFWU is still on his reading list and that he'll "get to it eventually". I feel like I'm being the bigger person by reading CO at all, but I'm worried I'm holding a grudge about HFWU (and I am known to hold grudges, so that is a thing with me) and amplifying tensions with my brother in a really unnecessary way.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?