#but i'm too tired to try and make it better so here it is
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Can’t stop thinking about how much Simon “Ghost” Riley loves his American girlfriend.
Unlike the other 141 boys he wouldn’t poke fun at you or tease you about the different words you use. Kyle loves to correct you,
“Whens the soccer game on tonight?”
“Its football love, not soccer, ‘cause you kick the ball.”
“You kick the ball in American football as well.”
“Yeah but...ours is better”
Johnny’s a tease
“Have you seen my swimming suit?”
“You wear a suit to go swimming?”
“I’m not calling it a costume”
“Well it sure as hell isn’t a bloody suit”
Even Price gets in on it by pretending not to hear you,
“Can you grab some chips from the kitchen?”
“Hm? Sorry dear can’t hear ya’”
“Grab me some chips!”
“Gunna’ have'ta repeat that”
“....crisps”
“There ya’ go, really outta speak up more sweetheart”
Never mind the fact he was right beside you on the couch.
But Simon, Simon is different. Never once has he corrected or teased you, to the point where its become a bit of a hindrance.
“Can you stop by the gas station on your way home?”
And he’ll just stare at you, an almost blank expression on his face, only the fidgeting of his fingers give way to what he’s thinking.
“The petrol shop Si’”
“Right.”
Is it because he doesn’t care? Or maybe he’s too frightened he’ll scare you away if he corrects you? Whatever it is he’ll never say, but one thing is for certain, he’s absolutely elated when you start to pick up the British dialect.
You tell people your boyfriend is a leftenant instead of a luitenant and he’s looking at you like you hung the very stars in the sky.
Ask for a “wife beater” while pointing at the bottles of Stella Artois in his fridge and he swears his heart just skipped a beat (despite the crude connotations of the nickname)
Ask him to pick up ‘Maccies for you bolth on the way home and he almost causes a 20 car pileup because he has to hide his burning face.
Tell him you like the black jumper he’s wearing and theres three more in the online cart already.
And when you start swearing like a “proper brit” he’s ready to get down on one knee. He hears you mutter “bloody hell” from across the flat as you listen to news report an expected 10cm of rain for today and for the first time in his life he’s thanking god Manchester is such a dreary place.
You’ve become part of his life, he hadn’t scared you off, you hadn’t gotten tired of him. You wanted to be here, you wanted him. You’ve been here long enough to pick it up, you’ve spent enough time together even your words are beginning to match each other, and theres nothing in the world that could make him happier. So he’ll never once correct you or tease you when you ask to go on a vacation even if he’s blindly nodding along to your requests and scurrying off to the bathroom later to look it up and figure out you wanted to go on holiday with him. Cursing under his breath while he fishes his phone from the sink because he dropped it in his shock at the revelation you wanted to go on holiday with him. Give him two days and he’s already bought the tickets
Sorry for the lack of posting! Schools been getting busy and I'm working on getting a draft of a book ready to send to a publisher so it's been a bit hectic but I absolutely love posting for you guys here on tumblr (srsly all your comments make my day) so I'm going to try and keep posting as regularly as I can! working on a longer chapter for my Ghost and Soap's roomie series rn so that should be out somewhat soon! thank you all so so much for your support.
#simon ghost x reader#simon#simon riley fluff#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley headcanons#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#soap#ghost cod#ghost#ghost x y/n#ghost x you#ghost x oc#ghost x reader#tf 141 headcanons#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#task force 141#cod mw3#cod modern warfare#cod x you#cod x reader#cod x y/n#cod x oc#cod mw2#john price#kyle gaz garrick#john soap mactavish#gaz
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So you're looking for franquito requests? I have too many ideas, like it's insane. The things this man does to me I swear 🥰🥰🥰
Well, maybe you could do something like Argentinian non famous reader (not necessarily Argentinian but u know) dating him and nobody knows about her, till one day they both went tired of people assuming he's single n PUM, hard launch. I don't know if I explained this correctly, English isn't my first language so I'm sorry bby 🥺
💛🇦🇷
Hard launch — Franco colapinto x fem!reader
Faceclaim — none I left it pretty inclusive for everyone Warnings— none
Fluff
Word count—
Summary— no one knew Franco was dating anyone until he was photographed at a party kissing his girlfriend.
Franco posted to his instagram
Caption— Fue un fin de semana difícil que terminó en abandono, pero tengo ganas de correr en Las Vegas (it was a tough a weekend that ended in a dnf but i'm looking forward to racing in Vegas)
Liked by — Lewishamilton, Lando_Norriss yourusername, and 292 others
Comments
User1– not Franco making goggly eyes at Lando during the drivers parade
User2– you’ll get them next weekend Franco
User3– Franco try not to flirt with everyone challenge failed
User4– I’m surprised that Franco is still single man’s flirts with everyone
Your username— I think you did well today Franco
Liked by Franco
User5– we all saw that right?
User6– oh we saw alright
Y/n posted to her story (private instagram)
Caption— chico somnoliento 💤😴 (sleepy boy)
Comments off
Seen by … Franco_colapinto43 and yourBFF
Yourprivinstagram
Caption— adivina de quién es la casa (guess who’s home)
Liked by Franco_colapinto43, yourBFF
Comments limited—
yourBFF— who’s that funny looking man on my wife’s instagram account.
Franco_Colapinto43– last time I checked I was her boyfriend 🤨
yourBFF— for now 😁
Franco_Colapinto43– what’s that supposed to mean???
————————————————————————
The party was alive with chatter, music, and the occasional burst of laughter. People milled about, drink in hand, dancing in the dim light as the night carried on. Franco was standing by the bar, joking with a group of friends, when his eyes caught yours across the room. You were leaning against a wall, watching the crowd with a slight smile, your arms casually crossed. You always did prefer standing back and observing, letting the noise of others fade into the background.
Franco’s grin widened, and without a second thought, he excused himself from the conversation and made his way toward you. He didn’t care that people might be watching. He had long since stopped caring about the whispers, the questions, the rumors. It was just you two now, and that was enough.
“Hey,” he greeted, slipping an arm around your shoulders as he leaned in, his lips brushing your ear. “You having fun?”
You raised an eyebrow at him, playful as ever. “You know me, I’m just here to make sure you don’t embarrass yourself.”
He laughed, the sound low and easy. “Oh, trust me, it’s too late for that.” He pulled you a little closer, your bodies pressed together in the cozy little corner of the room. You rolled your eyes but didn’t pull away, enjoying the warmth of his embrace.
The laughter around you seemed to fade, the chatter becoming a blur, and it was like the two of you were in your own world for a moment. Franco’s thumb traced the outline of your arm before he pulled back slightly, his mischievous smile never leaving his face.
“What if we stopped letting everyone assume I’m single?” he asked casually, his eyes glinting with that familiar spark.
You didn’t have to think about it—this had been brewing for weeks, maybe even months. You’d both gotten tired of the secrecy, of the constant guessing. You didn’t care about the opinions of strangers anymore, not when it came to him.
“I think it’s time,” you said, your voice light but resolute.
And then, with an ease that could only come from the comfort of being with someone who knew you better than anyone else, Franco leaned in, his lips catching yours in a quick, almost careless kiss.
For a moment, time seemed to stop. The room fell silent, people frozen in place. But you didn’t care. You were too busy focusing on the way his lips lingered just long enough to make it clear.
As you pulled away, your hearts still beating in sync, the sound of murmurs around you slowly started up again. Whispers rippled through the crowd, but neither of you looked around. You didn’t need to.
Franco grinned and shrugged, pulling you close again. “Guess we’re not hiding anymore,” he said with a teasing smile, as if nothing had just happened. You couldn’t help but laugh. “Guess not.”
——————————————
F1.Gossip has posted
Caption— f1 driver Franco Colapinto caught kissing an unidentified woman while at a party.
Liked by— yourBFF, and 19289 others
Comments
User7– WAIT WHAT?!?!
User8– who is she?
User9– con—😭😭—grad—😭😭—ulations—😭😭
User10– I new there was no way he was single
Franco_Colapinto43–has posted
Caption— Bueno, gatos fuera de la balsa, feliz Segundo aniversario, mi amor. (well cats out of the bag happy 2 year anniversary my love)
liked by — lando_norris, Yourusername, yourBFF and 1028 others
#f1#f1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one x you#f1 x y/n#formula one x oc#faiths inboxes📥📨#f1 smau#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto x you#Franco Colapinto x fem!reader#franco colapinto fanfic#franco colapinto fluff#franco colapinto social media au#franco colapinto smau
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He's drunk when he sends it. Pissed because Buck won't just let this die. Tired of seeing his name flash across his screen, texts full of anger and sadness and hurt.
I suspect you've already met your last and it's not me he sends, and then turns off his phone and reaches for the bottle of whiskey on his top shelf.
---
If he'd been sober he would have known better. It's not even like it's been a pervasive thought - just an inkling at the start of things that seemed to be completely off base once he got to know everyone better, but looking back... He can see it. The built in life. The steadfast support. The knowledge that they'd always, always have each other's back. The kid who hero worshipped him.
The thing is he's fielding texts from Eddie, too, checking in and then circling around to being so goddamn judgmental that it's like they've coordinated their attacks to give Tommy no room to breathe.
He ended it to save himself from slipping so far under the surface he wouldn't make it back.
The fact that he's lost them both to his own fear is icing on the cake for the demon on his shoulder that keeps trying to remind him that once upon a time he'd fully thought Eddie and Buck were amicable exes.
---
He has to blink to figure out who's standing on his doorstep. The mustache is gone.
"If you meant who I think you mean, you're dumber than you look," Eddie says, and shoulders past Tommy before Tommy can even muster an affronted expression.
Tommy wanders after Eddie into his own kitchen, immediately annoyed that he looks more at home there than Tommy has felt in weeks. He'd gotten used to the loft - the space, the echoes, the lights of the city. The smell of his own aftershave on Buck's pillow.
They never spent much time here. The loft was closer - to Harbor, to the 118, to all the things in the city that tempted them out for a night. And staying at the loft meant he wouldn't have the echoes of Buck in every room, around every corner. (The echoes are in him, instead, and he still feels the absence like a lanced wound.) Tommy has always been good at making other people think he's good at putting distance between himself and them.
Eddie digs in a drawer, pulls out the bottle opener shaped like a cow and pops two tops. Holds one out for Tommy and scowls when Tommy wrinkles his nose at the Corona.
"Absolutely screw you if you think I'm driving halfway across town for you just to get the ones you like, right now."
Tommy can't argue that. He takes a drag and swallows. Stares. Is everyone else experiencing whiplash seeing him without the mustache? It looks fine but it'd taken so much fucking work to get used to it and now it's just gone. Clean shaven, an acre of skin he hasn't seen in months.
Tommy blinked and the entire world was different. Tommy freaked and the world changed.
"What are you doing here?"
Eddie's eyebrows both lift, a frank Are You Fucking Serious look on his face that makes Tommy want to take him to the mats and have it out in the garage instead of over beers.
"Buck may be spinning his wheels trying to figure out what the fuck you meant but I know damn well what you were implying."
That seems unlikely. Eddie always seems to be the last person to have a single clue what was going on, with Buck scraping in just before him. It's a tight race.
He used to find it charming.
(He absolutely does not still find it charming, he tells his heart, and wonders if he could hire some tiny asshole gnome to go stomp around in an atrium or two and get it to stop doing what it's doing. Fucking traitor.)
"Do you actually believe that, or is it some dumb excuse because you're terrified of being happy?"
Oh, that's fucking rich.
Tommy opens his mouth to tell him exactly that but Eddie just steamrolls right by him. "You don't have to point out the hypocrisy, jackass. I'm well aware of my own issues. Thing is - you're like, almost right. Buck does make me happy. Next to Chris there's no one else in the world I'd rather have by my side, rain or shine, good or bad. I love him. He's my person."
Tommy rolls his jaw. It's not a vindication to hear it.
"Except I'm not gay, Tommy. And I don't want that. I never have. And neither does Buck, just in case that argument was about to hit the airwaves."
"How do you know?"
Something sparks in the back of Eddie's eyes. Understanding. Triumph.
"You want an itemized list or a demonstration?"
Which is when Tommy knows he's stepped into an absolute minefield. No markers. Just free balling his way through a conversation that could explode with even the slightest pressure.
Eddie's got his phone out.
None of this is ideal.
When he looks up, his eyes land squarely on Tommy, who would like in this moment to be able to curl so far in on himself he gets sucked clean through the other side. "First of all, Buck may have just been improvising his entire journey of sexuality but for once I was trying to get ahead of the curve so that whole starry-eyed newly not straight vision you have of Buck is bullshit. You let him pull you along by the shirt strings for months without pressing pause and then you freak out when he thinks his speed and your speed are the same speed?"
This is feeling a whole lot like an ambush, now.
"Did you ever even try to slow him down?"
Tommy has some choice words that aren't remotely appropriate to say to someone who is at least tangentially still his friend, so he takes another swig of shitty beer. God, this shit is awful.
"You wanna know how I know I'm not his one? How I know he's not mine?"
Tommy really, really doesn't. Honestly he'd like to kick him out.
"Because he went at our friendship at the same warp speed pace he took your relationship and it never fucking scared me."
Proof in the pudding, for Tommy. He's not the sort of jackass who actually thinks he can make a different judgement call on someone else's sexuality than the one they've made themselves, but come on.
"Shannon's been dead for half a decade," Eddie says, voice dropping so suddenly Tommy feels it like an icy draft. "And maybe one day I'll make my peace with that. Maybe one day I'll get out from under it. The point is I've lost them both and the loss wasn't the goddamn same."
"Buck came back," Tommy argues.
Eddie scoffs. Wrinkles his nose. "Jeez, he wasn't kidding about how weird that sounds." His phone buzzes on the countertop, and Tommy wonders what the hell that look on his face means. "Don't change the subject. I'm not here to talk you into anything. I'm just here to drink a beer with you and tell you how goddamn stupid it is to think that an uncertain future with Evan Buckley isn't worth every second of terror it causes you."
"You don't know me as well as you think you do."
Eddie tips the bottle against his lips. Swallows. God, why hadn't Tommy just pursued the self-proclaimed straight guy for a couple weeks before he scratched the itch somewhere else and kept a friend, instead?
"Maybe." Eddie tips his head. "Maybe I do, though. Maybe in the months and months you were invited to all my mopey nights in with Buck and all the crazy crap we end up involved in at the station and all the times you couldn't shut up about him when he wasn't around and all the times I got to see you falling ass over teakettle for my best friend, I learned a fucking thing or two about Tommy Kinard." He wags his head back and forth. "Maybe."
"Is there a point to this?"
Eddie tips his eyes to his phone, and it's probably too late at this point for the suspicion to begin to creep in.
"I mostly just came to confront you about your completely off base bullshit excuses, but there's actually a pretty simple solution to at least one of your multitude of issues, so. Now we're waiting."
Tommy doesn't like the sound of that at all.
"Chris is mad at you, by the way."
It's a distraction. It's fully a - "Why is he mad at me?"
"I should actually thank you, because it's the first time he's actively talked to me in months," Eddie continues, like Tommy hadn't asked a question. "He's pissed because Buck is sad and there's literally nothing in the world that gets a rise out of the Diaz boys like sad Buck."
"You can just say you're pissed at me and go, Eddie."
"Oh I'm angry. Don't think I'm not. Mostly I'm just sad for you. You had six months to get to know Buck and never thought to yourself 'hes going to love me and it's going to hurt' until he skipped too far ahead in the program."
And that's - kind of the final straw. He's let Eddie get his licks in. He deserves it, he knows he does. Honestly it's a little cathartic to hear - to know exactly what Buck has spent his time dissecting post-Tommy. "That's all I ever thought about. Do you think I didn't know going in? I tried to put a stop to it before it even started and he just doubled down! Do you think for a second I wasn't viscously aware that I was setting myself up for -."
No. He's not gonna say it. He's not giving that to Eddie when he couldn't even give it to Ev-Buck. When he couldn't give it to Buck.
Eddie looks victorious anyway.
"And for six months you thought it was worth it."
"For six months I was too much of a coward to stop thinking about it."
Eddie drains the rest of his beer. "I'm not gonna lie. You screwed up pretty bad. Like. Astronomically bad. Giving up your location in a firefight bad."
Tommy does everything he can not to wince.
"It's salvageable, though. If you want it to be. If there's anything I know about Buck it's that second chances are his bread and butter." He's been dancing around saying anything of substance about Buck's feelings, in all of this, but the hints are there. As if the bouts of angry-depressive texts from Buck weren't clue enough.
"And what if it's not what I want?"
Eddie's eyes dart to his phone one more time. "Then you can make it a clean break in about ... three and a half minutes."
Tommy nearly tosses his beer across the room.
#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#tevan fic#eddie&tommy#theres a part two to this that may or may not see the light of day
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hello hello! I've never requested stuff before so i hope I'm doing this right lol, I'm wondering if i can request something tender and fluffy for follower sword x reader?
i just wanna hold that man in my arms bro, and your writing is just so peak
summary - follower sword x reader hcs. ur both phighters, uninetionally a little aut4aut coded woops
misc - thank you so much ! im glad you enjoy my writing .. smiles .. apologies if this is a little lackluster or inaccurate, this beast is weird. also yay first request !
-To say dating Sword can be a little unconventional is an understatement. More than once have people shot you a look once you told them who your partner is. Regardless, you wouldn't have it any other way and neither would Sword.
-Usually, people are confused as to how you guys got together in the first place. He's not exactly a social butterfly and he definitely comes off as threatening to most people, but there's no dramatic story to be found here, unfortunately. You just met him during a phight like most other people.
The match had been close, both teams were neck and neck for the point by now. It was a mad dash to get on the point or die trying, leaving more than a few people to try and make a run for it before falling to the other team the moment they were within a few feet. Every route lead to the same choking point, funneling everybody into a sea of flying bullets and swinging blades. Eventually, you noticed the crowd begin to thin as several people traded or finally picked someone on the other side off. If there was ever an opening, this was it. Stealing away from the corner you'd hidden in, you ran for the point, just barely dodging stray attacks before your feet touched the objective. The timer resumed in your teams favor, much to the other teams frantic irritation. A few of your teammates had bullied onto the objective just after you, helping fend off the incoming vigor of the enemy team in a last bid for the win, but it still wasn't enough. One got picked off, then another, and then another after that, then it was just you again. They'd gotten picks of their own and one had traded, but it still left you outnumbered. Given the exhaustion curling up your spine to lay heavy in your head and the dread of an inevitable loss hanging off your hands, you weren't winning this. Someone on the other team pushed towards you. You were slow on the uptake, pulling your gear just a few seconds too late through the fog of weariness. Practically in slow motion, you watched them reel back to swing, made to block it yourself, and a pale blade stick itself in the ground just between you two. With hands already raised, quickly identifing the blade's source, you instead made to cover your eyes before the flashing light could blind you. Where the once constant growl of battle had become ringing in your ears, there was silence. Peeking out behind your arms, there was nobody. It wouldn't last long, you knew that, but you finally felt as though you had a moment to breathe. Just a few seconds left. You could make out careful footsteps behind you, leaving you to whip your head around to the source. Instead of Shuriken or Scythe popping out to break the peace, you saw Sword. You hadn't seen too much of him that match, seemingly being focused on different areas (bitterly, you thought of asking him why he hadn't been helping you with the objective, but a better part of you decided against it.), but you were thanking the Heights he was on your team now. "Thanks for the help, you're a life saver," You hummed, smiling at him. He didn't return the gesture, hell, you aren't even sure he looked at you, given the lack of pupils. Faintly, you picked up some little grunt he made, a show of acknowledgement. That was enough for you. You turned back forwards, vaguely noting how he stopped next to you. Maybe he was tired too? You're sure he was focusing on trying to beat the other team into the ground for the match, so you wouldn't be surprised. The timer reached its peak, signalling your team's win. Neither of you made a sound, even as you picked up on your other teammates celebrating off in the distance. The air stayed peaceful, weight lifting off of you as you stood side-by-side. Nothing more needed to be said.
-Afterwards, you did your best to return the favor, though he rarely needed it. You would provide support in the ways you could, pointing a healer in his direction when he was in rough shape and picking off extra opponents if he was outnumbered. Where you'd expected to just help him out once or twice and consider the IOU paid off, he would return the aid right back. Without thinking about it, you two started to hover around eachother.
-He wasn't sure why he did it, just that, at some point, he began to think of you more than he needed to. It was good to know where your teammates were and what their status was, but he certainly didn't need to be worrying this much over an individual. Nevertheless, he would still check in on you, sending long glances your direction whenever you were nearby as a quick assesment of your condition.
-Even before matches you two would find eachother, sitting quietly as you two prepared for the upcoming phight. Sometimes, you would ramble to him as he listened wordlessly, only humming every now and then to let you know he was still paying attention (a habit he'd picked when his silence had lead you to trail off in the past).
-The first time you'd ever mentioned hanging out with him outside of a phight, he'd declined, if only out of unfamiliarity. He wasn't used to getting such direct, personal invites to be apart of other people's lives like that. It stuck in his head for a few days, the question of why you'd thought to pick him speficially rattling around in the back of his head.
-Eventually, he would be the one to invite you out. It wasn't anything special and, in all honesty, it was probably just to walk around. Nothing all that entertaining, but he didn't care about the activity as much as he did having more time to hear you talk.
-Likewise, the confession (after a long time of him sorting out his feelings, he still didn't totally understand how he felt once you two got together but he knew you were greatly important to him), was pretty mundane. You're probably the one to do it since he's not super familiar with the concept, at least not beyond a surface level understanding of what it looks like for other people. To you two, it's an intimate moment: you trust him enough to open yourself up to rejection and he cares about you enough to make clear he's interested in you as well. To others, it's a very blunt, robotic moment on his part contrasting to your obvious sentiment. Oh well.
-Anyhow, as for how you to interact once you get together, it's more of the same. A lot of the time, you two are just existing with one another. It would come off as uncaring if it weren't for him seeking you out just to be in your company, even if you're not interacting in any way. He just likes having you there, you make him feel whole in a strange way, something about your presence makes him feel like some wrong has been righted.
-He's a little nosy about your hobbies. If you're reading a book he wants you to tell him about it, if you're making something he wants to know how you're doing it, so on, so forth. He doesn't know why, he just likes to know everything he can about you. If we allow the more sentimental wording to fall, you're like a specimen he needs to learn about and put under a microscope, lovingly.
-His love language, other than time, is gifting things to you, actually. Most times it's odd trinkets he comes across that remind him of you, but its the thought that counts. He takes the utmost care for them to not get ruined before he can gift them to you and you can just barely notice him stand a little straighter when you happily take them. If you have a spot for all the things he's given you, he admires it with pride every time, blame it on bird instincts.
-He often just calls you by your name, he just doesn't think any nickname compares to your actual name. That's the title of the person he loves, what else could compare?
-It takes him a while to warm up to physical affection, so give him some time with that. Once he's settled into a relationship with you, he's a lot more open to any touch you give. He most enjoys whenever you lean on him, he enjoys being someone you can count on for support and comfort. On his part, he's a sucker for you holding his face in your hands, something about it just feels so tender. The way your hands cradle his head just feels so soothing.
-The first time he says 'I love you,' is a whisper, but don't let that fool you into thinking their meaning is any smaller. It's a total declaration of his heart to you, how could he not mean it when you're the light of his life?
#phighting x reader#sword x reader#phighting sword x reader#roblox x reader#mod writes#follower sword x reader
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Last Night
"Heard you've been making trouble in Star City."
"We finally get an hour together and you wanna talk about Green Arrow's delusional rants?" Jazz almost sounded offended but there was a small smile on her face as she takes a sip of her drink and Jason is just grinning as he recounts everything Roy shared.
"He's worried you're gonna overthrow the local gangs at the rate you're going."
"Oh, come on." She huffs genuinely amused. "I was only defending myself."
"I know but you should see some of the theories he's cooked up. The latest one Roy told me about is something about you being an Amazon."
And they share a laugh over it as they continue to catch up over a few burgers and some drinks.
This was nice.
Simple.
It was nearly perfect even.
Jason would never openly admit it. He'd never take the chance out of fear of someone, somewhere using it against him but Jazz had been one of the best things to walk into his life.
She was strong.
So sure of herself and just as kind.
It's why he did everything he could to get her out of Gotham.
She was too kind for Arkham.
Too good for his kind of life.
The monsters in there would twist her into something unimaginable if she stayed and Jason was way too attached by then to let her become another Harley Quinn.
Central would have been better but he could trust his contacts in Star City.
Roy would look out for her when he couldn't and he could enjoy these handful of quiet moments where they were just an ordinary couple on a date.
"I can handle mister narcissist. Out of the two of us you're the one who should be worried about."
"Ah, I'm fine."
Which was a lie. Gotham was even worse than usual lately.
"Yeah, until some idiot gets lucky."
Carefully brushing their hands together she runs her fingers over where the latest stitching were. It wasn't bad but he wasn't healing like he used to, the usual after effects of the pit were losing their effect so he'd lied and said he was in a car accident.
"You're changing the subject Jazz. What's going on with you?"
He watches her get up and walk over to the corner of the restaurant to put on some music, the old jukebox playing an even older song.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just... tired of holding it all in." She looks over her shoulder with a smile. "Maybe you're a bad influence on me."
"Who. Me?"
He gets up to join her when she holds out her hand.
"You were always a bad influence on me."
"I've got a feeling you've had a bad girl hiding inside you long before we ever met."
"Maybe. I've made a lot of bad decisions. Dated the wrong men. Trusted the wrong people but it's what led me here."
They slowly dance for a while until they hear the bartender calling out. "Hey you! No dancing." He jerks his thumb to a sign behind him saying the same thing along with this is not a dancefloor and green floods his vision before Jazz is pulling him away.
"I guess it's time to call it a night."
"Maybe we can try a different bar tomorrow?"
She sounds so hopeful and he wants to say yes. He wants nothing more than to just stay here in this moment with her but he can't. Not yet.
"I'd love to but I've gotta head back soon."
"Another one of those mysterious secret missions you can't tell me about?"
"You know it."
"You know if you ever need my help."
"Nah." He can't pull her into his messed up world. He won't. "It's just our usual family drama."
Bruce was going off the rails again. Dick was angry and everyone else was scrambling like usual to keep everything running.
It'd all be sorted out in a couple of weeks at most. Either way this was going to be his last mission.
He grabs his bag getting ready to leave when he feels a tug on his sleeve and Jazz is pulling him back into a kiss. It's the perfect way to end their night together.
Too perfect.
As they go their separate ways already planning their next date Jazz let's him go one last time not knowing that tonight would be the last night she'd ever see him again.
After Jason made it back to Gotham her texts went unanswered.
Phone calls were ignored.
Watching the news made it seem like everything that could go wrong was currently going wrong in Gotham so after two weeks of nothing but silence Jazz was in the middle of getting ready to book the first flight she could find when she suddenly felt a cold breeze drift through her apartment and between one second and the next Danny is floating there. He's floating there next to an exhausted Roy who drops down onto one of her couches looking utterly defeated.
Roy, Jason's best friend who is dressed up like Arsenal and they both look like they've just gone through hell. Their gear is busted and ripped with dried blood everywhere and she's just about to ask what's wrong, what happened, where's Jason when everything simply stops.
There's a thousand and one questions running through her mind until she notices the Red Hood's shattered helmet in Danny's hands and every little thing she's tried to ignore until now clicks into place.
It's been a while but I wanted to do something today and saw a short on YouTube that inspired this. It could either be the aftermath of Gotham War or Jason vs the Penguin but whatever you feel like could have caused it ends up so much worse.
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Hey there my sweetest, beloved Vexi ♡
I just wanted to share something personal with you that you can then share with others because I know that they feel the same.
Writing has always been my passion. It's been the one thing that has kept me afloat in my life. Regardless of whether people love my writing or hate it, I would continue for the sake of continuing because it is my life.
But when I rejoined fandom spaces, I was terrified after hearing stories of how the culture had changed significantly. Interaction is lower, and hate has unfortunately always made its home in these communities. Given I share fanfiction solely to share with the aforementioned communities, I found myself afraid that I would get hate messages. I was afraid I wouldn't have a community that would stand up for me if that were to happen. While it would never deter me from what I love, I was scared that friendships and positivity were long dead in this space. Fandom felt lonely.
You know what though? I have met wonderful person after wonderful person. And then I met you too. There you are, getting some of the most horrendous messages I've ever seen sent to another human being, and you continue to push for positivity - smiling and laughing with us about how much you just want to see people happy.
Then you went on to start share some of the wonderful messages you recieved throughout that ordeal, only to begin writing positive affirmations and thoughts for us. Once upon a time, I struggled to accept this sort of positivity, I will admit that. When I was having a rough time, I would often see messages like that as 'hollow' for a lack of better words. I would be angry or bitter that others could think like that when I struggled so much to feel like those words should have meant something to me.
While time has passed since I was that person, I still remember the feeling of hopelessness, yet that doesn't deter from the fact that people like you - and countless others - single handedly restored my faith in these communities.
People like you remind me why I cling to my ideals of treating everyone with kindness no matter what. To try to understand other people. To help others. These are all things that bring us closer together. People like you, @silva-daemonium, @fraugwinska, @macabr3-barbi3, @chrisemrysfics, @melodyonthewireless, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @kewpikayo, @jurijyuu, @jalicecookie, AND SO MANY MORE do so much to support those around you.
All of this came about because I wanted to say thank you for posting those short little messages of encouragment. I know that I have appreciated them. Sure, they might seem a little cheesy to me on a morning when I'm tired - but they really make me smile, and prepare me to tackle whatever the day gives.
You're the beating heart of positivity.
It's a fairytale ending to the horror stories I expected.
I know that other people will see this too, so I just wanted to wish everyone that sees this a relaxing morning, afternoon, evening - timezone in general! You're here, and you've worked hard to be here all this time. Everything you've needed to do to achieve that, you've done. That's huge. I'm so proud of everyone, and my DMs are always open to anyone who might be struggling or just wants to talk. I'll always aim to help my community in the same way that Vexi has demonstrated.
Love to you all, and again, thank you for your messages, Vexi!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Cirice, I honestly don’t have the words to fully capture how much your kindness means to me. You are truly one of the most thoughtful, beautiful souls I’ve ever had the honor to meet, and I can’t thank you enough for your words. Knowing that something I’ve done has made even a small impact on people like you is still so surreal to me. I’m just deeply grateful that you’re part of this community.
You and so many others are the reason why I’ve stayed here longer than in any other fandom. It’s been the most heartwarming experience. This community, especially people like you, has genuinely transformed my perspective on what fandoms can be: a space filled with compassion, creativity, and connection.
Thank you for sharing your story, for giving me (and others) a piece of your heart. I hope your words reach others, inspiring them to create, to feel they belong, and to understand how wonderful it is to be part of something like this. Knowing we’re all here together, finding meaning in these connections, it makes the world feel a little less lonely and a lot brighter. 💖
Also tagging the people that didn't get properly tagged because tumblr is broken: @dewdropdinosaur @xalygatorx @kewpikayo @jurijyuu @jailcecookie
#redvexillum answers#positivity#i love this so much#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fandom#pp#poisonpositivity inside joke#i love you cirice#Vexi throws love punches
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This is a small background of what's happening in this fic.
Fluff, 721 words.
“I'll help ye!” Ghost heard Soap's cheerful voice and looked around, lowering the knife.
Johnny stood in the doorway, smiling his shiny smile, and his eyes radiated so much love that Simon involuntarily stared at him and forgot to answer. Dressed in shorts and one of Ghost's black T-shirts, Soap looked like he had just gotten out of bed. However, it could be true: he was still weak from his injury and tired quickly.
“No need to, sweetheart.” Simon finally spoke up. “We agreed that you would go to the store and I would cook. You should get some rest.”
He tried to make his voice sound soft and gentle, but he could tell by the way Johnny's expression changed that something was wrong. This was all hard for Riley, who had spent most of his life in the military with occasional breaks for hell like the one Roba had given him. He preferred living on military bases, and when he and Johnny rented this apartment, all of Ghost's belongings fit into a small bag. And Simon could never have imagined that civilian life, even with someone you love with all your heart, would be so difficult.
“What's wrong?” He asked quietly and somehow helplessly, and Johnny immediately stopped pouting and came closer.
“We need to do something together.” He said, taking Ghost's hand. “All of this that's happening now is a test drive for our future, when we retire, get married, and become a real family. All families do things together; it’s called ‘tradition’, ye know?”
“We watch movies together on Thursdays.” Simon said, bowing his head.
“That's not it!” Johnny argued. “We do a lot of things together, but it's all recreation, and I'm talking about housework. Ye do everything by yourself; ye clean, wash the car, do the laundry, cook... If ye didn't hate being around people so much, ye'd go to the store by yourself too!”
“I was just trying to take care of you.” Ghost pursed his lips and turned away to the kitchen table where he was slicing meat; in that moment, he was really regretting agreeing to be at home without a mask.
“I know, luv.” Soap looked at his back sadly. “If ye hadn't taken a leave to be with me, I would never have been able to handle it. But I'm feeling better now, and I want to take care of ye too. Otherwise, ye're going to come back to the base so tired that Price is going to fly here himself to ask me personally what I did to ye.”
The knife stopped moving, tapping the board. Simon washed it, wiped it down, and put it back before turning to Johnny again.
“I would have stayed with you for the rest of your recovery.” He said.
“I know ye would.” Soap nodded. “But the boys need ye, too.”
Ghost sighed but quickly shook off the sad thoughts because they still had plenty of time. Of course, the command was not happy that the lieutenant had decided to take all the leave he had stubbornly ignored for at least seven years, but Captain Price sided with him, arguing that Sergeant MacTavish needed to be cared for while rehabilitating from a serious injury. Of course, Soap could have gone to his parents' house, but it was too far from the hospital, and the eldest daughter and her children were staying at MacTavish’s family home, which would not have been conducive to the peace and quiet the doctors recommended.
“All right, then.” Finally, Ghost said, taking the second apron off the hook and handing it to Soap. “Put it on, take three medium-sized onions, and start cutting.”
“Oh no, not the onions!” Johnny rolled his eyes tragically, tying the apron.
“No arguments, Sergeant.” Riley cut off and reached for the meat mallet. “It's Tuesday, right?”
“Aye, Lt.” MacTavish took out an onion and began peeling it, standing next to Ghost.
“So on Thursdays we watch a movie.” Simon tossed the hammer and caught it by the handle. “And on Tuesdays we cook together.”
Johnny smiled happily, and Ghost couldn't help but smile as well. He began to pound away at the meat, thinking that Soap was right: of course, and if they were going to be a family, they should have some family traditions.
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#soapghost#john soap mactavish#soap x ghost#ghoap#simon riley#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#soap cod#cod fanfiction#cod fanfic#cod fic#cod fluff#fanfiction#fanfic#domestic fluff
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Peach! Mrs. Pasta here...checking in for the second time in a few days!
Normally I just lurk in and smile to myself when I see your posts and banters with your followers. But tonight I just couldn't resist...
Ramen, bless him, is getting really good at the non-specific, vague-turnaround, deflective answers to personal questions! I'm impressed.
Also...Nobody keeps their hands more to themselves than Ramen does when he's around a lot of salty things. Is he on a low-sodium diet? Is that why he exercises such great self-control when it comes to these things? TBF, he's very gentlemanly when it comes to being around women, especially costars/colleagues.
I can see (most) people on here are either tired, upset, tired, over it, or a combination of both. I can understand that, especially for the mods that run these blogs. I notice that for a lot of people, separation of professional and personal for their favorite celebrity can be a difficult task. I don't blame anyone for feeling that way, it can be hard to "not think about THAT" when you just want to enjoy "THIS". I will say this though.
Something I have found time and again to be true, is that IF something/someone/someplace is meant for you, things will fall into place. If something is NOT meant for you, no matter what you do, things tend to fall apart. You can try and put it back together, but then something else falls. This has happened to me personally recently, where I was in a situation where I wanted to make something work because I thought I had no other choice and I didn't really want to rock the boat further and go searching for something else. Unfortunately, the more I tried, the more I compromised and kept on staying, the worse it got. I'd fix one thing, another would break. I'd get over one hurdle, another inconvenience would pop up. Finally, I decided to take matters in my own hands and started actually listening to what the universe was trying to guide me towards. It was very hard for me to do this, as I'm more of a logical/rational person, than a spiritual one (I don't really like reading signs or feeling energies to tell me what to do)...But I tried a different approach, and started asking the universe, "If this isn't right, what should I do?" And I would listen and wait, and then tangible things would happen, and then I started making different decisions and taking different approaches. Almost immediately, things started changing for the better. I'm in a much better place now (figuratively and literally).
Just some food for thought: Let things play out. They will. And hindsight is always 20/20. Think about it. I believe Anne's blog has a library that can be helpful for those interested. If all else fails, keep coming to Jen's blog where she posts stories, baking, and general hilarity to keep everyone's spirits up. You are truly a beautiful soul, Miss GeorgiaPeach! <3
Mrs. Pasta! Welcome back. Clearly, your presence has been much needed this past week. Which I do say that there is a reason one shouldn’t consume too much sodium. I suppose were all bloated, and now need to fast.
Ramen is quite smart. He’s playing it coy and vague, non-definite answers. He’s doing good, despite a quick facial change with some questions. It’s funny to watch.
For someone that is quite a gentleman and claims to love PDA his hands do seem quite to himself. But it is a family movie after all, wouldn’t want to be too obvious, I suppose.
I think a lot of people are tired, and more so tired of ongoing arguments that suck the life out of the fandom, much like an overly salted diet. So maybe it’s just the influx of salt that has everyone red in the face? But this is why I implore anyone to curate the space that you want. Filter tags, block blogs, unfollow blogs, create the space that you watch to see with personalities that jive well with your own.
The universe is quite a tricky lady. She usually makes way for things that are for you. Usually when you try to fit a square peg in a round hole, you’re met with resistance. You can sit there, and smile you’re doing it, but others around you will eventually be able to see that you are in fact creating a bigger problem with an impossible task. I’m glad you were able to get to a better place once you listened, and were aware that what you’re forcing isn’t for you.
I do think that hindsight is 20/20. There always seems to be something poking around that pops up at the last minute. Eventually things either fall into place, or you’ve created a big mess. @anneslibrary is a great well of information. And of course @annislittleshopofhorrors herself is a peach in her own right. You are a beautiful soul from the inside out as well, Mrs. Pasta. Take care, and never feel afraid to pop on by when you can.
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want you now, wanna need you forever in the heat of your electric touch
#roganedit#gilmoregirlsedit#ggedit#sophiesedit#rory x logan#rory gilmore#logan huntzberger#gilmore girls#tuserella#tuseror#mine#*i have reworked these gifs for two days now and i'm too tired to keep trying to make them better so here they are. enjoy.#*curse tumblr for making these look HORRIBLE on mobile
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
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i got two replies out , woo . now i'm going to sleep .
#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moghome . [ ooc ]#just kind of. want to clarify i'll still pop in here to reply to stuff#i'm not burnt out on muse soasmuch as i am just#discouraged and uncomfortable#and unsure of what to do#i don't rly. want to steep myself further rn in theory talk anymore than i have or focus on trying to figure roche out.#i've spent too much time and energy on that and tbqh? the more i stress about whether or not square makes him an interesting chara or w/e#the less i want to write roche so i'm just. not gonna bother. lmk if you want to try out any potential avenues concerning my theories#and whatnot#i'll be operating on a strictly au basis so like. assume everything on this blog is bullshit for now#and ig if i don't like what they do w roche in part 3 i'll likely drop him as a muse#i'm not going to waste my time and energy wallowing on omg!!! they didn't give this character his due!!#i'm so tired of muses i write being done dirty man. i just expect it by this point and the less attached i get to it all the better#it just happens way too often so i just gotta. stop thinking so much and having another muse to focus on will help w that#i think i've reached the pt where i'm tired of 'fixing' characters. so i'm not gonna do it
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man.
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#gonna say I'm venting a bit (kinda of a lot)#but I may seem selfish from this and let me say now ik everyone was putting themselves first (which is a very good thing)#but having three mutuals deactivate their accounts within I think two months or so??#I rlly don't like to be negative and I might also take a break from Tumblr (as much as I love posting here#so I'm still unsure if I'll even stick to that) bc of how negative I've been lately#I just don't want to keep venting and putting that on everyone so#but yeah I just. It makes me sad to see old/new mutuals go#I never thought I'd have to like#witness it#Idk#I've cried over losing them all and it feels rlly silly but I mean idk#I (try to — my feelings with crying are iffy and I hate admitting I do cry) not cry over everything but I just can't word stuff rn#might be posting less/not posting at all for the next few days or so#I'm gonna be busy in July anyways so it's probably better to just say that now#sorry guys I'm just dealing with some stuff mentally lately (an example being gender dysphoria but I can't even word the stuff going on#not to sound like I'm overexaggerating bc I rlly don't wanna seem like I am. It's nothing too serious so don't#be worried at all pls I'm ok enough I won't just disappear)#I just wish I could have alone time in my room with my cats without my family bugging me for a few days#It's tiring atp#I wanna lock myself up just to recooperate and figure out how to deal with certain things the best I can#anyways yap fest over I'm gonna go play wuwa and build Jinshi more#sorry for venting again 🫡🫡
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#oh man#I'm having the shittiest year of mi life#I just want to disappear#like#Why do I bother#nothing matters#and I'm here wasting my life working and trying to survive#and for what#so the next problem can surface and I don't get my one simple wish#I just want to draw#that's all I wanna do#that's all#and i cant#and I try and I try to get me what I need#and try to make things better#and I'm here stuck and I feel like I'm drowning every single day#and why#because I was born at the wrong place#Why don't I get a chance too#why do I have to fight 3 times more#I just want to go to sleep and never wake up#etc#might delete later idk#I'm just so tired
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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god
#p#i'm actually sick of making room for people like this#it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7#would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize#which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation#it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw#and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that#it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem#the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice#sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to#i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong#she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care#she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit#i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up#because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview#but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones#but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related#maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community#have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness#you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it#even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself
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#started going to therapy again in the hopes of coping better with my fam situation#but my therapist is pretty adamant that the situation is too toxic for me to be able to heal in#and i know he's right but also i'm not in a place rn where i can leave said situation or have the emotional capacity to try#and having a third party affirm that the position you're in is actually more fucked up than u thought is both validating and exhausting#bc like before i was just like ''my mom is entitled to still be close to the ppl who sexually abused me''#and was able to just blame all my rage and frustration and hurt on myself#but now that it is starting to resonate that Wait That's Actually Fucked Up#just existing around my mom has become so much more exhausting#& i've spoken to my therapist abt this but i'm venting here bc i'm really feeling it today#it's sounds dumb but having someone explain to u that ur rightfully at ur limit at all times makes it so real somehow#ofc i'm at my limit at all times in this environment most people would be too!!!#i'm just so tired 😭😭#tired and overwhelmed and tired and overwhelmed#and#ugh
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