#but i'll write it and maybe post it sometime here hopefully in the near future

[leslieseveride]

well would you look at that!! it's my chenford pregnancy fic reserecting back to life after... idk... 3yrs of abandonment????

[greensagephase]

Hi Alondra!! Thank you for replying back to me on the New Year's fanart!! there's really no pressure replying and I truly appreciate every response 🥹❤️ hearing that you still love the New Year's fanart makes me so happy!! (I promise there is more fanart for NC in the near future!!) I’m glad you took some time off social media for your mental health because that’s very important!! I’ve been quite busy lately too so I’ve been off social media more than usual this past week. I’m also happy that you’ve been sticking to drawing daily for 30 minutes!, and even if you miss a day here and there it’s still great! There are days where I just don’t have the energy to draw, so if you need to take breaks from that too it’s okay! But I really do get excited hearing these updates! Also, omg I’m very happy that you drew Miguel in a way that you liked and you’re feeling more comfortable and confident with drawing!!! Hearing that makes me so excited and i’m rooting for you!!! ❤️

Also, I just have to mention again that I’m really happy you took a little break from social media and writing, sometimes it can be too much and the last thing I’d want is for you to be burnt out from everything! (and I'm happy my little words of encouragement helped you decide to take some days off, I want to make sure you're doing okay too 🥺) you really do so much on here and you deserve the rest! ❤️❤️ Thank you so much for all the support and words of encouragement with my schooling!! (and when you mentioned getting another degree in the future- I might actually consider it!! maybe even study in a subject more for fun!) I’ve been very busy with everything and preparing for the first presentation of my capstone this Monday (the nerves are there but I'll maybe update you on how that goes! 😭) but one thing’s for sure- I still love to take the time to go on here and talk to you when I can!! And I’m so excited to read the next part when it comes out!! (please don’t stress about when you’re going to post it though 🥺) And I also promise that I read all your responses too, often times more than once because they make my day!! They mean so much to me and you don’t have to worry about replying late or anything, I understand! the weather where I live has also been arctic, haha!! (no fr today when I went out I was still shivering with all my layers 😭) and if it's also still cold where you are stay safe and warm too!! I hope you’re doing well and that you’re having an amazing week Alondra!! sending you a warm virtual hug, friend!!! ❤️✨❤️

Here are some little sketches of encouragement with your writing and everything!! a soft smiling Miguel and ok I imagine the 2nd one Miguel is giving look of like he’s proud of you 🥺 but also, he just has that signature smirk too 🤭

@sunsetdoodler thank you for being so understanding and of course, I love talking with you, so I've been trying to reply to everything!! I just got really behind on my responses 😭 but yes, I LOVE the New Year's fanart!!!

Still thinking about it and how cute your OC and Miguel look together, I can't wait to see them again (and omg, more fanart!!! I can't wait to see it but of course, take your time!!!)!! And you being off social media is so understandable with your school!! I hope everything is going well so far!! I'm thinking about you and sending you the best of luck, and hoping everything goes smoothly for you as always!!!! ❤️ Also, thank you for the well wishes on my drawing journey!! I took off yesterday and today because I've been busy doing other things but I'll hopefully be back to it tomorrow, thank you, really!! And yes omg, I've been studying Miguel (I've been studying your fanart and other lovely artists' fanart plus using the amazing drawing references I've seen on here; that's actually how I finally got his hair down haha), and feel like I'm moving forward in drawing him, but it's a working process! 😂

And thank you, omg!!!!! 🥺🥺 I was debating taking a break because I always feel so guilty disappearing from social media even if it's just a day or two, but your words of encouragement to take it easy helped and I decided to do it. I tend to feel a little off after the holidays and just feel overwhelmed by everything, so this little break really helped my mental health, and honestly - it helped my writing! I was lowkey forcing myself to write prior to it, but all is well now, and I feel great now. I've done so much more writing in two days than I did over the span of several days prior to my break, so yay!! About your schooling - of course!!!!! I'm wishing you the best and rooting for you!!! As I said already, I'm always hoping and wishing that everything goes smoothly for you!!! I hope you're taking care of yourself and that these first two weeks have been kind to you so far!!! You should def consider earning another degree for fun if you're interested!! I'd love to hear what you'd like to do if you were to get another one (if you're open to sharing, if not, I understand, so no pressure!!)!! Omg, your first capstone presentation is this Monday!! I'm sending you, and will continue to send you, all the best of luck!!! I know you got this and it'll go great!!!!!! 🥺✨ It'll be one presentation down, and hopefully it will get easier as the semester goes!!!! And thank you for taking time out of your day to come on here and talk to me, it truly means so much to me!!! Please know that I understand life gets crazy, so I totally understand if you can't reply right away or not at all (don't feel pressured to, friend!! I get it!!)!! And I'm happy that my words make your day, yours make my day as well!! I always look forward to reading your responses/asks!!!❤️ And omg @sunsetdoodler I hope you're staying warm and cozy, too!! It has been very cold this week for us (there was even a busted pipe this morning because of how cold it has been this whole week). I hope you stay warm and be safe if you're out on the road driving!!! I hope you're having a fantastic week, too and that you have a great weekend!! Hopefully you get to do some fun cozy things and relax a bit despite your presentation!!! Sending you the warmest virtual hug and the best wishes as always, friend!!!! ❤️✨❤️

And OMG THE SKETCHES!!!! Miguel saying "you got this!" - that's so ENCOURAGING!!! 🥺 And his proud face in the second sketch - stop, now I'm going to imagine that Miguel cheers me on when I write and try to draw him and the second sketch is him watching me while I do my thing,😭😭 THANK YOU, FRIEND!!!! These sketches are so freaking CUTE!!!!! And his signature smirk - everything this man does gets me, I swear!!!! 🤭 (I'd get so distracted if I saw him like this actually) I'm going to have these sketches pulled up whenever I write or draw, for real!!! THANK YOU!!!! ❤️✨🥺

[catboii]

(( hi to anyone who forgot they were following this DEADass blog!!

I've obviously not been on here, or on any RP blog at all, in forever. I'm gonna put this weird update(? more like a note to myself) under a cut, in case it gets kinda long... I might add updates to it later because there's alot I want to say. but I doubt anyone who would've been interested back when I was active, is still around (not to be negative! I don't expect them to be, I hope everyone I hung out with is living their best life!!) but I don't really know where else to collect my mess of thoughts on this character (I only sort of use twitter atm? and char limit lol), so for now, I'll post it here, and if I ever wanna link back to it, it's all neat and together...

if you've forgotten what this blog used to be since I changed URL and icons etc the last couple times it was active, it was Catboii, then before that SolicitorC. I have no idea if this character is actually dead, or if it is still out there somewhere, living it's best life (hopefully) maybe one day I'll tie up the loose ends, and finally set it free.... who knows

the reason I'm here, thinking about this character so fondly again, is I've actually been tentatively thinking about. writing things. again. I've been reading Homestuck fanfics again recently (i know right? in 2023?? what the shit) I doubt anyone who followed me on this blog knew me back on my other RP blogs, where I occasionally mentioned my fanfics (from 10 years ago aparently, mostly 2013 wow)..... most of which I'm embaressed about today so some I've orphaned, but the experience and practice was good in the long run

but the point is I've been thinking about writing something in my spare time (which I don't have much of, and I have multiple mental things that mean I have to re-read and correct and rearrange things I write like a million times. so far I've taken nearly 2 hours <now nearly 4 including eating and moving from upstairs to downstairs back upstairs...> to write and re-read this post, and I'm nowhere near done yet.... I'm gonna try to not be so anal about how this lays out because I've moved some paragraphs around and it sometimes doesn't make sense, but it literally doesn't matter! this is mostly just so I can look back on it in the future and be like, "oh yeah, I did that...")

I was thinking about trying to write some original fiction about one particular set of fantasy characters I have, and I like to remember the inspiration for their origins, so here we are.....

people who actually know me know I'm a HUGE slut for recycling characters. I have OCs who've been in literal hundreds of AUs, with either the same characters as always, or some different ones. and alot of my OCs, surprise surprise, started off as Tumblr RP muses.

I actually have a new version of this character, completely off tumblr or any other platform as of yet. although now he's completely diverged and I've created an entirely new timeline, new history, some actual lore of where he's come from and WHAT HE IS (finally) and how some of my other characters fit into the "universe". and I'll be honest, I did take some inspiration from some chatacters we met along the way. they have different names, I've changed their personalities somewhat, some are just loosely based off of the "concept" of a character we met, or the kind of relationship or interactions they had with my/other characters around,,, and they may not fit together with each other in this universe the way they did on Tumblr because they're not them, but the inspiration that I got from the interactions our characters had, had a big impact on the way this character has evetually turned out. I have BPD and "favourite people" reaches to more than just actual real life people for me, it reaches to characters, and I did have some "favourite muses" that really stuck with me, even if my muse wasn't a fan or they didn't really interact. there were also characters that my muse was really into, that I personally wasn't a fan of, but still mean alot to me and our progression

I obviously don't wanna just straight up plagierise someone else's character, and that wouldn't make sense anyway.... I can't copy someone else's character, and even if I COULD, they were probably fandom muses, which wouldn't work here in our new world. I can make up new characters, self indulge for the purposes of progressing my other character's stories... but that feels empty and pointless. these characters STILL hold a special place in my heart? and so some kind of weird tribute, without actually telling the person who made them, just makes sense to me I guess.... I wasn't gonna out mysef like this tbh, because to some people it might sound bad, I have alot of other characters who I've basically done the same thing with, took some loose inspiration from some OCs/fandom muses someone else made, and put some bits and pieces of them together in a completely different character of my own. I have a couple who are still mildly reminiscent of the originals, or are a very close paralell (with my own quirks), which I actually did get permission from the original creators to use and change... sometimes I think about actual TV or book characters who these smaller characters remind me of, and other RP blog characters or OCs, put bits of these characters together, then pick them apart, thinking about how they grew up, their family, friends, how that would've formed them as a person... frankensteining them together into some kind of guilt-free brain baby. this is essentially how you make characters, right? they're even initially inspired by real people, or real people's traits or personalities... then you squish them up and mould them into something else? it's not like I'm profiting off someone else's hard work and creativity... idk I don't really know how I feel about it.

for me, making characters is more than just "welp I need someone to be this guy's friend for a few chapters", they're a big part of the story, each one of my characters need to have some kind of background. even if that background is that we don't know anything about them for whatever reason.

anyway... back to the point I was getting to.

Tii, or Kiity, started off as... sort of a weird social experiment (at least that's what I'm calling it as a joke) on how out of character I can make a "normal" homestuck AU character, and not feel even the slightest bit bad about it. until I did.

the full timeline from when I was actually active is here but if you're not into long rambling explanations, here's, something..... (spoiler this turned into way longer than the timeline page, but this one has actual me in it, and my thoughts, rather than a sorta,,, emotionless list) if you DON'T wanna read the full timeline, but would like to read about my NEW character, I'll put this between these squigglies, and you can just skip it

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homestuck stuff (so if you don't get HS then I'm sorry!): he started as just a normal post-game Sollux but he was god tier, didn't remember anything from the game or where his friends were, but couldn't die! fun! while he'd had the blog he got one of those pesky magin anons which turned him into a literal catboy, which he was actually really into bc people gave him alot of attention, so we made it permanent, there was some stuff with an Alternian uprising, human troll experimentation, he had his own lab, did experiments with parasites, especially brain worm type deals, I think this Sollux (I've had a few) didn't have Psionics? bc I'm a sucker for broken bois, it's been such a long time that I don't remember much myself. there was a phase with quadrant prostitution, hence the blog title "Solicitor". the first URL is where the nickname Lit came from. totally accidental but "it's Lit" was a great tag line. there was alot of memory loss in here, a universe's Signless manipulating Lit's memories to his own advantage... I have a terrible memory myself, and forgetting important things is a big fear of mine, so I thought I'd vent it out as a plot point, again, fun! it was also a handy plot ploint to let Lit forget muses who went inactive, rather than waiting around for them to return (since he was clingy but I'm realistic and have no problem if someone has a real life)

no more homestuck: there's a climax point where Lit was manipulated by a demonic creature called Kreed, which mostly happened off-blog. partially because I was too cringe thinking "lol demons" to actually go very far with it publicly. but in the end it worked out in my favour, because the story was getting REALLY DEPRESSING, and it was sorta going stale... this is where I dropped fandom and made Tii an OC, I was sort of feeling weird about the whole fandom thing since the character didn't feel like the actual canon character at all, with the memory loss and the manipulation. it was totally in character and it was story/character progression, but it didn't feel right calling it Sollux anymore, and honestly it was a little restricting.... it wasn't out of place though, because other people were making their fandom characters OCs around this time, rather than just starting up a whole new blog for the OC, having to get followers/interaction from scratch... you know, the grind.

there was a while at this point where Tii thought it was happy? but honestly no, it wasn't, and it was dragging me down a bit, which is why I kept dipping out, and I made a couple of ther blogs around this point. in general the blog experience was good, most of the interactions were great, but I'd put too much,,,,, brain? into emotions and the afterthoughts. I got too in my head, and in Tii's head, about the past. there were toxic muses that Tii dwelled on, and even if I tried to erase the memories, they would still pop up on it's dash and it would start a spiral, there would be posts on the vent blog regarding these people and Tii would be like "WHO DIS??" which was partially funny, but in the end exhausting.... it turned out, what I was *hoping* would be a superpower (forgetting traumatic events) turned out to be Tii's downfall.... I decided to go no-contact with my own character at some point. mostly I was just genuinely too busy, but I started to pop back on every now and again on mobile to see how things were going, say hi to a couple people, but eventually it would all start spiralling again, and it just wasn't enjoyable. I tried making another blog for an OC, which I don't think I even finished setting up before I decided I just didn't have the time or energy to start up.... but that's not Tii stuff, so nevermind that

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today, Furui is a Nekomata (with some shapeshifting abilities), in a world where maybe 2% of the population is some kind of fantasy creature, living in hiding. most can blend in with general society, so humans think it's WAY less than that, although they know they're around...

I have a few "main characters", including Keisuke, who was a boy who grew up at the family temple/shrine (I'm not too familiar with Japanese culture, and I'm not about to pretend I am, so I forget which it is) where Furui lived back when he was an actual, literal cat. he frequented the site, even though his family told him not to go alone as the ghost of a black cat haunted it. it was actually just a Yokai. so much better... the Yokai grew quite fond of Keisuke, and hung around him, let him put a handmade collar on him so he could hear the tinkling bell when he was around. although Keisuke moved abroad to study when he was older, and when he returned after several years, the cat was gone. at some point, Furui, not understanding human language, so thinking Keisuke had just forgetten about him (even though he did try multiple times to say he was leaving,,, )and other humans pestering him and trying to chase him out, had gotten fed up, and turned into a malevolent spirit, burning down the temple/shrine, and killing several humans who'd tried to harm him

on a lighter note, fast farward a couple years, there's some goofy intro where Keisuke meets Furui in a human form, but he's an absolutely terrible human impersonator. they somehow end up being buddies and Keisuke teaches him how to person etc etc story things.

there are other main characters like Lyric the sweet but secretly manipulative Siren, or "Lyra" to humans. then there's Denali the reluctant Werewolf who I've actually toyed with being the protagonist. they have a complicated relationship where Lyric doesn't want Denali to be so self destructive (drinking and sleeping around), and doesnt actually know that he's a literal werewolf. because he won't tell her. he's worried she'll absolutely freak out about him getting hurt or hurting people... what he doesn't realise is she's just using him and has got him wrapped around her little finger, because she thinks he's just another stupid human. he, of course knows she's NOT a human, but think he's special, and she would NEVER use her powers on him.

Furui and Keisuke move abroad to [wherever I decide this takes place] where Lyric, Denali, and a bunch of other characters live. Furui quickly befriends Lyric because he can smell non-humans, being a cat and all, meets Denali and finds out he hasn't told Lyric his secret, so (as he's not a human, so doesn't have human values of trust and camaraderie, and is... not a nice person in general) threatens to out him if he doesn't play along with his games.. those games, being he's been the dark creature slowly picking off the werewolf packs roaming the streets killing people. one of those packs, being Denali's own. Furui takes great pleasure in making the guy choose between his relationship with Lyric, who he thinks he feels more than just platonically for, or his pack. this of course has alot of ways it could go, and I haven't fully decided.... but it's fun to theorise.

originally, Furui had a huge crush on Denali (which was gonna end in some kinda violent throwndown between him and Lyric), because in my mind he started out as this huge confident wolf boy, and who doesn't wanna fuck a werewolf, but as time's been going, he's been showing his vulnerabilities, and Furui will absolutely not be into anyone who is scared of anything, especially if it's not tangible... he's a ilteral spirit, he can't die or be killed. he toys with death on the daily, and I have a couple of quick little drabble scenes written up already (to get it out of my system) of him being absolutely annihilated, only to grotesquely and noisily pull his dislocated/broken limbs back into their sockets, and raise up from the ground gushing blood and bits of his insides all over the pavement.... you can't be second guessing your words in case you hurt someone's feelings around someone like that, if you want them to respect your physical prowess. on one hand, I like big confident scary Denali, but I also like confidence being a front, and secretly vulnerable doggo boi. it's a hard life.

anyway I'm just ranting now, and it's been.... like literally over 5 hours. I started writing this at half 4ish? and it's 10pm now. I feel better though, like I got something out of my system, and I got some of my story thoughts down, instead of just letting them swim around in my head then be forgotten.

if anyone did read all this for whatever reason, then I hope you have a great day, and thankyou for sharing this with me ...

[wingweaver24]

Soooo... yea. Hi. Interacting with others is kinda hard for me? I wanna interact with people here which share my interests, who i adore for their work, their ideas, their humor, etc from the void.

I just want you to know that that i am inspired, also a little intimidated sometimes, by all the talented people i find and follow here. also people i dont follow yet, as i find new blogs all the time.

I might not know everything when it comes to people i should avoid, people who are... problematic to say the least, but not knowing everything is human. But i try to avoid and block people which give me weird vibes, so to say, and where i find out (with proof) about people that are bad news.

But back to the main reason i write this. I have social anxiety which makes it hard to interact with people, other problems too which make it hard to write, to @ people, to share my thoughts, post art, etc thinking i bother everyone.

I will try to be more outgoing (i hope, cause thats hard for me) and write more in the near future. (To be honest i originally made this account to mostly use it for my own works, my art, to interact with others.)

I'm afraid that i'll bumble and blunder, say thinks or do things that are definitely not ok, by not knowing about things that are not ok. But i'll try my best, i will learn and i will change over time (hopefully in a good way).

(also i don't know how to put all those things that are not ok in just a few words, without making a long list or triggering someone by mentioning them. i know how vague it sounds when i write it like this, but i just don't have the words for all this, especially because i'm not really a native english speaker.)

I just want you to know i'm here, i enjoy what all of you do with this place ;) and i want to be there too. It might take a bit, but i'm trying my best :)

Maybe one day i'll be part of the cool people and have nice mutuals here. I want to share my humor, make people laugh, think, cry, experience multiple emotions with my writing, my drawing, my crafts and more.

I may even want be recognized for my style or other things sometime. I want to leave my footprint in the world and dont want to be forgotten when i die. But first i need to start at the bottom. I will try not to be discouraged if i don't get to be known in a short time or a year or two due to my anxiety. If i'll ever be known at all.

Of course there will always be people that are better at what i do, younger that surpass my knowledge and/or talent, my techniques, my art, but that is normal, even expected. This is nothing to be sad or discouraged about. There is only one me, one person with my way of thinking, one person that does things like me. As there is only one you out there. And that is beautiful in itself.

One day i'm out there and at least one person might recognize me, or see my username and think: hey that's that one person. And that thought alone can mean a lot to me, to someone else, to you, who reads this. One day i may get seen. Only time will tell :)

I hope this post, which goes all over the place, gets seen by someone one day, who thinks: "hey thats how i feel!" and feels seen, maybe even inspired to start themselves and tries to come out of their shell. Maybe reading this will help someone. I hope it helps me too.

Thank you for reading this! I know it's long, but... thank you!