#but i won't tag until it's finished or at least more presentable

[cat-entusiast]

Drawing something after like a month? Yeah baby, i think i'll get back to it

[bunnys-kisses]

little mouse - simon "ghost" riley

pairing: simon 'ghost' riley x reader rating: 18+summary: Simon Riley never thought about legacy. The idea of carrying on his ‘lineage’. He was a man on a mission, there was no time to settle down and have a couple of brats running around. The idea of being a father didn’t really sound too enticing, in a way he didn’t think he’d even be a GOOD father. So he simply ignored the idea. That was until he met you. tags: dark themes, breeding/pregnancy kink, dub/non-con, he won't take no as an answer, mating press, dirty talk, dacryphilia, delusional!ghost, choking, rough sex, 3.3k words

a/n: this is a work of fiction. read at your own risk.

join my discord! (18+)

 

 Simon Riley never thought about legacy. The idea of carrying on his ‘lineage’. He was a man on a mission, there was no time to settle down and have a couple of brats running around. The idea of being a father didn’t really sound too enticing, in a way he didn’t think he’d even be a GOOD father. So he simply ignored the idea. That was until he met you.

The cute little private that scurried around base like a little mouse. And while Simon had never caught a mouse, there was no time like the present to do so. You were simply so small, he wondered if he’d even fit inside of you. But he had plans if it didn’t work like that. But, he’d make sure he could at least get the tip in. He wanted to feel that sweet heat around him.

Such a fragile little thing, he could easily break you. One wrong move and you’d be painted black and blue. If he grabbed you too hard, he could break your arm, smack your ass too hard and leave you with broken blood vessels. There was just too much that he could do. And a sick part of him wanted to do it all. But his main drive was to make sure that the womb was stuffed.

When he has some alone time, he’d often fantasize about you. He thought of your sweet scent, your tight cunt. The noises you’d make, how flushed you’d get. As he pleasured himself, he thought about bullying your cunt. He wanted to make you scream as he filled you to your brim.

He wanted to bruise your spongy cervix and make sure no other man could ever paint your insides white. That was a task for him and him alone. He’d make sure that you wouldn’t dare to THINK about other men. You were his and he’d do everything in his power to make sure that you were reminded of that. Even if you didn’t know it yet.

The sheer thought of you changing on a fundamental level to carry his child. The change in every sense of the word, from single to a mother. The leftover pregnancy fat at your hips, the heaviness of your breasts. Even your brain would change. And the thought of his little mouse swollen with his (many) children, left him aching for more.

Even as he finished on his fist, with his breath ragged, he yearned for you. And it was only a matter of time before he went mouse trapping.

-

Turns out he could catch a mouse with a nice treat. He had found out about your sweet tooth and led you back to his quarters. He had enough when he watched you take the sweet out of his palm with your mouth. His blood boiled with a sexual rush.

With the candy in your mouth, he grabbed you by the hair and titled your head back so you met face to face with him. His voice was low as he said, “You think you can tease me?”

You whimpered, “It was a joke, lieutenant.” So vulnerable, so small.

He chuckled darkly, “I think you’re lying. I see you around base, and I have to say I think you’re teasing’ me. Makin’ me look like an idiot as you run around base. I bet you’re sleeping’ with other men. Slut.”

You whined, “Please! I’m not!”

 “I think you are.” He heard you bite down on the candy in fear. He got closer and started to pull at your pants. He felt his cock twitch in his own pants as he struggled to get your clothes off. He swore he could hear your heartbeat from where he was. You were scared, good.

  “Please, Lieutenant Ghost. Please!” You practically squeaked. You tried to push him away but he only got closer. He dragged you as he took your pants off.

He grabbed your hair once more and glared down at you. His chest rapidly rose and fell. “Be good, little mouse. You better take me like a good girl, because if you don’t you’ll tear.”

You had tears in your eyes and felt him wipe them away with the calloused palm of his other hand. You sniffled, “Please, sir. I’m not trying to tease you. Don’t hurt me.”

He delicately kissed your forehead, “I could never hurt you. But I can’t promise that my cock won’t stretch you out. That’s why you gotta be good for me.” His voice was a low purr as he laid you out on the bed. The bag of candies had been cast to the side as he got on top of you.

You swallowed back fear, the tears came and he licked a stray one away off of your cheek. For a moment you thought about running to the closest commander. But who was going to believe you? You were nothing but a mouse, and Simon was the phantom that could burn this entire base down if he so desired. No one would believe that the shadow, the ghost, would ruin a sweet little private.

You felt your throat tighten as you let out a quiet sob.

He got you out of your clothes, you were more agreeable now. You understood that you were under Simon. You were his little mouse. The one who had every intention of knocking up, even if you didn't exactly consent to it.

The idea of you swollen with his child turned him on, it made his stomach tighten from the mental image. He loomed over you, his breathing heavy from the course of euphoria in his system.

A life away from combat, somewhere his precious wife could have their family. He'd keep you full, all you had to do was keep giving him little brats. He grit his teeth as he stared down at you.

You were shaking like a leaf, you were scared of what was going to come next. He already had you naked. You felt your heart in your throat, you couldn't even scream for help.

  “My mouse.' he said, ”So small.“ He brushed his clothed cock up against you and shuddered, ”I could break you and it wouldn't even be that hard.“ His voice was low, ”You need to be kept safe. Somewhere quiet.“

You frowned, ”I am strong.“

The corner of his mouth turned upwards, ”I bet. I bet everyone has told you your entire life that you were a strong woman who didn't need any man.“ He pinned your arms over your head, ”But I know better. You'd be happier with a husband and a big piece of land.“ He kissed your bare neck.

You whimpered and squirmed in his grasp, but there was no escaping him. Simon Riley had gotten his talons into you and he was not letting go. You squirmed more as you felt his hot breath against your neck.

  ”These hands aren't meant to kill.“ He growled, you could feel the calluses on his palm, ”They're meant to wrangle my kids and bake bread.“ He chuckled softly.

  ”I can kill.“ You said it was almost too innocent.

He barked out a loud, which made you jump, ”Sure thing, sweetheart. I bet it would be so easy for you to get out of this mess and fight me off.“ He pressed his hardened cock further against you, ”That's probably why you're fuckin' other men. In the hopes they'd protect ya. But don't worry, little mousey, I'll keep you safe.“

You whimpered, ”I never slept with anyone on base.“

He looked at you once more, “Well. If that's true then I guess my job will be a little easier. Knowing' that my swimmers are the only ones in you.”

  “Please, Sir.” You whimpered, “We can pretend like this never happened. I promise not to tell a soul!”

He laughed again, those sharp eyes glared down at you, “Why would we want to pretend this didn't happen? Do you not want to remember the night we made our first brat?”

You felt a twist in your gut. You had gone off birth control when you joined so you didn't have to worry about maintaining the schedule of taking it. Without any other protection there was a high chance that he could actually knock you up.

You tried to kick him off but he was just solid muscle that it was like kicking a wall. You started to cry which only made the man pinning you down groan.

  “Cryin' is not going to help, lovie. If I don't get you now, you'll slip away and into another man's arms. Now relax, I'll take care of everything.”

He took off his own clothes, the sight of his large cock made you freeze. He chuckled at the expression on your face. Once he was bare he kept you pinned to the bed once more.

 “Like what you see?” He asked.

You looked up to him again, there was worry in your eyes. You swallowed before you spoke, “it's not going to fit.” You felt a surge of anxiety rush through you. Something like that was not going to fit in your tight hole. 

He nodded, “It will. Pussies can take a hell of a beatin'. I told you if you were good I'd make sure that I took my time so I didn't tear you.“

  ”It will tear anyway.“ You replied.

  ”I wouldn't worry about your little head, my little mouse. Just don't tense when I put it in.“ He replied as he rubbed the top of your head before he got back on his heels and grabbed your hips.

You felt so perfect in his grasp. Sometimes sso delicate and tiny against him. You were perfect, even if you were so small. Maybe he wouldn't bruise you. But he would still breed you, bruise that poor cervix of yours.

 “You're a good girl.” He said, “You know how to behave.” He brushed his fingers through your hair. You gazed up at him with concern, “I'll make sure nothing hurts you.”

You braced for impact as he went to guide his cock into you. You squeezed your face and tensed up. It made him groan as he couldn't even get the tip in.

  “Now, girlie. You better relax, or I'm finding another hole to fuck and I don't have any lube.” He growled.

You held onto the bed under you and took a shaky breath. This was happening. The litenutant was going to fuck you lie a second rate whore in the hopes of getting you knocked up for his sick carnal need to breed.

He watched you relax before he tried again. He shuddered as he managed to get an inch in. It felt like the wind was knocked out of him.

You looked up at him once more, trying to keep yourself together to not squeeze too tight. You were being violated by a much larger man, but yet you were soaked between your legs. The more he pushed in, the more you felt it in the deepest parts of you.

By the time he had all of his cock inside of you, it felt like it was in the back of your throat. He was so big, you didn't know how he did not get light headed when he got an erection.

  “Good girl.” He growled. He hunched over you and kept you pinned to the bed by your hips. He loved the chubbiness to your thighs and hips, a squishiness that made his heart skip. You were a perfect woman.

  “Please pull out.” You gave it one last feeble attempt.

He chuckled as he gazed into your eyes, “No, no. Gotta add a little more fat to your belly. Gotta keep the brats nice and protected.” He leaned in further and began to make out with you as he moved you so your knees were to your chest and your pussy was facing upwards.

He had you squished between his large body and the creaky bed. The kiss was heavy and wet, his tongue explored your mouth. While in other scenarios it would've been sweet, but not when the power dynamic was uneven and you had little say in what was happening.

But he thought that the position was perfect, a way to make sure every drop stayed in you. The thought made his cock twitch inside of you.

  “Ah, Sir.” You whimpered.

He chuckled, his lips close to you. But then he pulled you back in for another searing kiss. His pace began to pick up as he kept you under him.

You were becoming so perfect. He couldn't wait to mark your insides with his cum. To paint you as his. Hopefully today would be his lucky day and it would be the day he got you pregnant.

You whimpered against him and laid there. His cock was so thick, it felt like someone was trying to fuck you with a bottle. Every hard thrust made the air leave you lungs, and it was hard to put more air in as he kept kissing you.

He wanted to keep you quiet. He didn't need his wife to squeal on him. He couldn't let the mouse leave the trap. The bed creaked under you and you breathed rapidly through your nose.

When he pulled away, he placed a strong hand over your neck and kept you pinned to the bed. You made a strangled noise as he picked up the pace. You could feel the blood rush to your head and he thought that was perfect.

His cock was heavy inside of you, his balls slapped against your ass as he kept you in the mating press. His erection slammed against your womb, you knew you'd ache for days.

This was everything he hoped for.

You let out another strangled noise and he told you to keep quiet. You tried to complain but he tightened his hand a little tighter around your throat.

  “No one needs to know how well you take cock.” He growled.

  “Please, Sir... Mister Ghost, please.” You whimpered.

  “No, no, my little mouse. I caught you fair and square. All it took were a few candies and I had you right where I needed ya. You're too trusting.” He said, “You should be somewhere safe with a man who can protect you.”

You pouted at him, “Please. I am strong.”

  “I know you are. Only a strong woman can give me kids. But you are just a little mouse. And I'm going to eat you up and breed you.” The last of the sentence dripped off his tongue like poison as he continued to thrust.

You felt every thrust in your bones, every inch of his cock stretched your pussy. It was painful but your body betrayed you and found pleasure in it. It felt sickening but there was no stopping the ghost.

It was hard to breathe with your knees to your chest. With him rearranging your abdomen. His attempts to batter your cervix left you feeling achy. It hurt but it also made your head swim with a sick wanton lust that made you almost angry with yourself.

Maybe it was a way to rationalize what he was doing to you. But as you stared at his scarred face, those dark eyes gazing at you as he pushed up into your body. You thought to yourself, at least if you had a husband like him, you'd always be safe. And maybe your kids would be cute.

It Was his words getting into your mind but it was hard to think of much else as he abused your sex. His cock invaded your womb and shaped it so it was perfect for his cock.

  “Don't worry, sweetheart, you'll get looser after the first few kids.' He grumbled in your ear as he continued to move.

You squirmed as you felt your backside grow numb from the position, ”Please, sir.“

  ”Be good.“ He said gruffly.

  ”Don't get me pregnant.“

  ”Too late.“ He said quietly, ”You're mine. You, me and all the brats you can pump out. You're not going anywhere. No need for all this training, just be a good wife and let your husband fuck you.“

It was as if Simon was delusional. But it was hard to keep a man like that away, not when they possessed so much power. He could snap your neck or break your legs if he really tried.

You should've never followed him back. You shouldn't have been such a silly, stupid little mouse and gotten yourself stuck in a trap. Because this was what it was, baby trapping.  

He was going to trap you with him. There was no escaping after this, even if you weren't pregnant. He'd simply take what he wanted and man handle you into sex again. He was a man on a mission, just like on the field.

The thrusts became erratic, he could feel the twist of pleasure in his gut as he fucked you. His breathing grew heavier as did yours. He licked his lips at the sight of the bruises on your body from how he handled you.

There was no denying what he did.

  ”Gonna be a good girl and let me breed you. Fuck all that need to be independant out of you.“ He growled, ”Make you a nice petty, pregnant wife.“

You nodded meekly, your cheeks were flushed, your body was bruised inside and out. You were going to be sore even before you found out you were pregnant.

 ”Good girl.“ He patted the side of your face, ”Good fuckin' girl.“

He continued to thrust into you, the bed moved against the wall with each thrust. The heat between you two left you hot all over.

You panted wildly and squeezed your eyes shut as your body betrayed you once more and you orgasmed. You clung onto the covers under you and let out a sharp exhale as you came.

Your cunt tightened around his cock and it was enough to send him over the edge and climax himself. As he rode out his orgasm, his pace slowed down. Soon he was still with his softened, yet still impressive cock inside of you.

You whined as you tried to lay fully out of the bed. But he kept your hips up to make sure every drop slid into your womb. He gripped your hips and started to move once more.

  ”No, please. I've had enough.“

  ”Too bad, lovie. I've gotten a taste for you and I'm not stopping until my balls are empty.“ He slapped your ass and you whined.

So much for a future in the military. You guessed you'd have to live with a military wife.

-

It had been a year since you left the military, since then your belly had gotten an impressive shape to it. It took a lot of work, but you ended up pregnant with Simon's baby.

Currently you were facing the door of your bedroom with your pussy stretched around your husband's cock. His hands were on your belly.

Large calloused hands were feeling up the slope of your pregnant belly. He loved the heft to it. He was told it was going to be quite a large baby when it comes out.

 ”Ah, sir.“ You gasped.

Some habits die hard.

  ”That's it, sweetheart. Keep workin' those hips.“ He encouraged. He groaned through a tense jaw as he felt the underside of your belly.

 ”Please, ah!“

 ”Perfect.“ He groaned, ”Gonna keep you pregnant for a long time.“ He chuckled softly to himself.

You whimpered, ”Please, I love you.“ You sounded so desperate.

At the end of the day, the little mouse had learned to love her trap. And in return she got a nice round belly to show her love.

xoxo, bunny

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Hi I just finished reading the steve harrington x reader imagine where its their one year anniversary and reader finds out about the bet, I was wondering if you could maybe do a 2nd part where Steve somehow finds a way to win reader back and decide to still be bf and girlfriend rather than start all over again and steve asks reader out officially (since he asked her out bc of a bet originally) and they have their date where he reasks her to be his gf, then time skip to where its their 2 year anniversary and he proposes🤍

I got so carried away....oops? Over 4k words

I didn't get into the propose but I totally can if anyone wants me to! I hope you enjoy and it was worth the wait, I am thinking of making an alternative version of this where the reader doesn't take him back, if you want tagged lmk!

Steve was not the same without you. Anyone and everyone could tell. He showed up late to work, never talked to the customers, and he hasn't spoken to Robin, Nancy, or anyone from the group for that matter. He just wanted to disappear into his bed and never be discovered.

However, just because he was in his bed didn't mean he slept. No, he hasn't slept since you left, and if he did, it was for minutes at a time. Instead of sleeping, he just stared. Stared at your side of the bed, stared at pictures of you two together, stared at the ring that haunted him. All he could do was stare.

You weren't doing any better. You didn't just lose Steve but you lost your best friends too, being betrayed by your boyfriend hurt but being betrayed by who you considered the closest friends in your life hurt you the most. You couldn't bring yourself to reach out, anytime the phone rang you just let it ring, anytime there was a knock on the door you just waited under mounds of blankets for the person to leave. Everyone was concerned for the two of you but no one knew how to help, that is until Dustin went and forced Steve to get out of bed. For a 15 year old Dustin was surprisingly strong, Steve found this out when he was dragged out of his bed and into the shower. "You are showering. You are going to make yourself presentable and you are going to go talk to her. At least make sure she's still breathing." Dustin rolls his eyes but he misses how Steve's breathing got caught in his throat hearing that you weren't doing well, even if Dustin just briefly mentioned it.

Steve didn't care about himself, he lost you and that ended with him losing himself, but he never stopped caring about you. He rushed through the shower and hurried to get presentable once again before dragging his ass to the car and headed to your house after making a quick stop to the flower shop. The entire ride to your house he gave himself multiple pep-talks. "I'm a douche....this is noticeable, everyone can see that but" he sighs softly and shakes his head as he feels tears starting to form, "But with you...god y/n with you I wanted to be better. I will be better for you, I want to be the man you deserve even if I can never achieve that. Fuck maybe I'm just selfish...I definitely don't deserve you, no one...no one deserves an angel like you." When Steve pulls into your driveway tears are falling freely down his cheeks, he gets out of the car and grabs the flowers he bought you while choking back sobs. He doesn't bother knocking, if what Dustin told him he knows you won't bother answering the door. Even though you've been apart for weeks now he still has keys to your place so technically....not breaking and entering???

He softly walks through your home trying not to disturb anything, not wanting to taint anything more than he already has. He is in front of your bedroom door much quicker than he was prepared, the door was already opened and the sight before him destroyed his already broken heart. In front of him was the love of his life, under mounds of blankets with the only evidence of life being the slow rise and fall of the blankets.

"Oh princess..." he softly speaks breaking the silence. You jump slightly, blankets falling off your figure, at the sound of a familiar voice, a haunting voice. "Steve...." Your voice creaks and your sight blurs, sitting up straight you feel your breathing stop at the sight of the man before you. Even though he tried his hardest to look presentable for your presence he was still a clear mess. His hair was disheveled, his cheeks were blotchy and eyes bright red. He walks to your side slowly as if he was approaching an injured animal, "Princess I..." His voice cracks and lip quivers as a sob wins the fight he was trying to win. "I am so sorry! I-I never...never meant for this to happen, never fuck i never wanted to hurt you. I was going to tell you but everything was going so well I just didn't want to lose you" Your throat gets tight and begins to burn as you fight the tears that were determined to fall. "Steve I...I loved you."

Loved....Loved....past tense....loved

"No....baby no not loved... I love you. I love you. How can I fix this? There has to be a way to fix this I...fuck I can't lose you forever. This might have started as a bet but my love for you was never apart of it. I've never loved someone as much as I love you"

A scoff and an eye roll is what he's met with, causing him to panic even more at the thought of never having you in his life again. But then you move closer to him and you take the flowers from his hands. "We can try to start over..." You whispered softly

----Time skip-----

It's been two years since the break up, it's been two years since starting over. And things had never been better, Steve never wanted to lose you and tonight he's hoping that he can assure that you'll be his forever with a ring on your left hand.

Tagging: @emmyshortcake @succubusmunson @bloodthirstybreedingbunny @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @keerysfolklore @eddiesguitarskills @mystargirl-interlude @lofaewrites @sweet-villain

[karkkidoeswriting]

BEAR CASTLE CYCLE

Valeri Cor Mantgamia

Main Character | 24 | Ethnicity: Cerfi | Captain of Imperial Cavalry | he/him | #valeri

Eventually he spoke. "To be honest, I have hard time imagining you afraid." Valeri made a dry chuckle. When was he not afraid? When was he not frozen in fear by the everything and everyone around him? Always looking over his shoulder. Always dreading every word he spoke. There was an easy answer to his own rhetoric question. In the middle of a battle the terror melted. He was still afraid, but it was different. His mind went blank and his body just moved. There was no doubt. It didn't make much sense, to fear death the least, when it was the closest. There is no fear in present.

Valeri is the second youngest child of the Duke of Cabalusia. When the Bear Castle was conquered and the Mantgamias were defeated in the civil war, Valeri managed to escape with his youngest sibling, Fiolev. They ended up in Amari, the capital of the province of Víren, where they assumed new identities under last name Iolean. They were very poor as most orphans in Amari, where income gaps are massive. Valeri was eventually forced into the army, to serve the same empire, which crushed their clan. He despised it, but he was good at it and quickly rose in rank, securing safety for him and Fiolev. It has taken him to wage wars for the empire, left him with chronic pain and trauma and strained his relationship with Fiolev, who would rather go homeless again than get left behind if he would go to another war. But he would do anything to make sure Fiolev was safe, even if Fiolev would hate him for it, even when his idea of safety is flawed.

Valeri has no future. For the past 13 years he's only been surviving and making sure Fiolev survives. He has no aspirations beyond that. He has risen ranks in the army, but he doesn't care about that beyond the more security higher position affords, he just tries to survive and make sure people around him survive to the next day. He sure fantasizes of reuniting with Faerathos, of opposing the imperial family, of returning home to Cabalusia, but he has no illusions that these fantasies have any realism behind them. Sometimes he even fantasizes of having a life, getting married, having several children. But he has no future. Until, he meets his exiled uncle, Ignatus, on a campaign. Ignatus is working with the empire's enemy and promises to take Valeri and Fiolev into exile with him, so they can get out of the enemy territory and wage war on the empire. It finally gives him hope and a goal. But things get more complicated, when he is given another mission by an imperial general, that could give an opportunity to sabotage the Imperial agenda in a significant way, but would put him in even more dangerous position, not less.

His appearance is quite imposing. He is tall (though not compared to many others in his family), strong and a scar on his lip has given him a permanent scowl. There is also a feral rage just below the surface at all times, ready to burst. But beneath that there is constant anxious terror that drives him and abundance of barely repressed emotions. He operates best when he has a clear goal and clear commands to follow, so when he is thrown in a situation, where everyone has conflicting commands for him, where he's not sure what's right and wrong anymore, or who to trust and who to follow, his barely maintained surface won't be enough to hold him together.

The Oldest | The Second Oldest | The Second Youngest | The Youngest

Tag list under the cut! Let me know if you want to be added/removed!

I'm finally finishing this post for Meet the Character Monday held by @bardic-tales / @creators-club , thank you!

BCC tag list: @siarven @worldbuildng @emilyoracle @frvnwrites @kainablue

@writingrosesonneptune @contes-de-rheio @faelanvance @outpost51 @dotr-rose-love

[monbons]

Stitch Sunday

Thanks for the recent tags @whatevertheweather, @run-for-chamo-miles, and @shrekgogurt!

It seems like a quiet day, but I'm too proud of my DeNiall dolls (lovingly made to celebrate @mooncello's more than a footnote) to let the finished version go uncelebrated. If you are on Discord you may have already seen them. For everyone else, look at these beauties!

One of the best things about this particular ship from this particular fic is just how rich and vivid Heath's descriptions of each character and every outfit have been. I was very committed to representing all of Dev's piercings, so you can see he has tiny gauges, a tongue "barbell," and an orbital piercing. Harder to see but also present---his Watford sweatshirt is distressed! (Sadly, not with magic--just plain old Xacto knives and a pumice stone.) You can see the perfect hole by the collar and his cuffs are torn up too.

In the fic, Niall has gorgeous brown/ginger hair, so he is the first doll with two kinds of yarn to get the right shading. He will wear a polo/rugby inspired collared shirt in a future chapter. When Heath sent the inspo pic, I explained how hard it is to produce anything with a collar. With that said, my love for this fic knows no bounds, so I went to the fabric store and was sorely disappointed that they did not carry the right kind of stripe. Ever the problem-solver, I dug through my kids' torn/stained clothing, found the perfect shade of blue in my daughter's tees, made my OWN striped fabric, and put a fussy little collar on it. I think Ni might be the cutest doll I have ever made as a result.

Another fun thing this round? Hightops for all with functional laces. Yes, Niall and Dev can swap shoes. Or pants. Unfortunately not tops since I had to sew Niall into his because of the collar...but if Dev wants to wander around topless, he can...

In other news, I realized late last week that my summer vacation is almost over and I'll be running Camp Mom again until school starts for all. This means I'll be taking a break from doll-making ... or at least significantly slowing down production moving forward.

I have only one more fic on my list of planned dolls, but I probably won't start them for a while because I'm taking some time to write and maybe (finally!) make a set I get to keep. (I'm trying for WS SnowBaz and found the PERFECT material for the PERFECT suit...)

In any case, hellos, high-fives, and sleepy Sunday vibes from the doll factory: @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla, @bookish-bogwitch, @raenestee, @roomwithanopenfire

@emeryhall, @rimeswithpurple, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @youarenevertooold, @talentpiper11

@brilla-brilla-estrellita, @beastmonstertitan, @best--dress, @thehoneyedhufflepuff, @larkral

@drowninginships, @valeffelees, @messofthejess, @iamamythologicalcreature, @aristocratic-otter

@blackberrysummerblog, @orange-peony, @facewithoutheart, @ic3-que3n, @rbkzz

@supercutedinosaurs, @skeedelvee, @arthurkko, @fiend-for-culture, @hushed-chorus

@martsonmars, @katatsumuli, @comesitintheclover, @fatalfangirl, @stitchyqueer

@onepintobean, @palimpsessed, @moodandmist, @ileadacharmedlife, @theimpossibledemon

[v1nsmoke]

𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻𝒀 𝑲𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑬𝑹 // 𝑺𝑳𝑨𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑹!𝒁𝑶𝑹𝑶 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

spooktober week 3 - modern au with slasher zoro!

tw: murder, d3ath, g0re, alcohol, can this be taken as yandere?, fire

summary: attending a house party won't be a bad choice, at least that's what you think until something changes the course of the night, and everything turns into chaos.

a/n: phew, my longest oneshot so far! i mean it took almost a week so i was hoping. i just want to say that im trash at writing endings so idk how that turned out, i feel like i fucked it up. also COP SHANKS CAMEO??!?!??! and firefighter Ace too!! LISTEN TO HOUSE OF BALLOONS WHILE READING, IT FITS THE VIBE!!!

first half until the garage scene supervised by lena!

tags: @stargirldelight cause cop shanks appearance at the end ♡ (sorry that i keep tagging u in shanks stuff)

wc: 5.6k

The cafeteria was bustling with people, just the average, daily experience. You munch on the horrid food they serve, the food you always tried to trade with the people who were smart enough to bring their own. You were lucky to have Sanji in your friend group, he always brought a bit of his own, delicious cooking, which Luffy would often steal.

"Here dear, I brought you some of your favourite!" Sanji exclaims, handing you a small portion of your favourite food with a smile on his face.

"Thanks, you're the best!" You take it and immediately dive in, hoping that you won't feel the taste of the cafeteria's food you finished a minute ago. While talking with Sanji, you could feel someone staring, but every time you looked around to check, there was nobody looking at you.

"Okay guys, last night I was thinking." Nami speaks up, now the whole group's attention focused on her as she stands up on the table. "Robin, you already know, I'm talking about what we discussed over the phone." She smiles.

"Just spit it out." Zoro says, losing his patience with the orange haired girl.

"Since it's our last year here together, I was thinking about hosting a big halloween party! And everyone is invited! And I mean EVERYONE. If you know somebody outside this highschool, feel free to invite them! The party is going to be held on October 31st! That's a week for you to prepare your costumes and get ready for the best night of your lives!" She excitedly says.

The whole group and the people present at the cafeteria cheer for her, everyone in on the idea. You haven't attended a good halloween party in years, and when it comes to parties, you know it's in good hands with Nami.

~○~

You walk trough the girl's locker room's door, the fencing helmet held in your hand since it won't fit in your bag.

"Thanks for waiting." You high five Zoro, standing at the entrance since he changed clothes faster. Maybe because he didn't spend a good twenty minutes with gossiping, or more like overhearing converastions going on about some random girl's personal life.

"So, what did they say?" You ask.

"What?" He looks at you bluntly.

"What do you mean 'what'? Oh. So you didn't ask them about the party." You sigh as realisation hits you.

"I didn't ask them about the party." He repeats, almost sounding proud of himself.

"Nami is counting on us!"

"The whole cafeteria heard her, isn't that enough people? Is her house even that big?"

"Even if it isn't, she'll find a way to get all these people together. She's smart, you gotta give her that."

Just then, a guy trying to leave the fencing hall bumps into you by accident. He rapidly looks up, making you notice his strange shaped nose.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to!" He apologises.

"No, don't worry, it's nothing. I was the one standing in the doorway, it's not your fault." You apologise back, picking up his bag that fell from his hands after the impact. He's about to leave, but you call out for him.

"Hey, uh, I was wondering if you could come to my friend's halloween party. October 31st. You in?" You shout, hoping he still hears you. The guy turns around, and shouts back a "sure" in response. "I'll send you the address, I think I have you on Instagram. Bye!"

The guy puts his thumb up and leaves. You turn back, and you're met with Zoro's eyes piercing trough you.

"What?" You ask, seeing he was clearly bothered by something.

"Nothing. Let's go." He sighs and heads towards his car, landing in the driver's seat.

"If you say so." You shrug and follow, getting in next to Zoro. You open your phone, and type in your address into Google Maps so that you won't have to guide him and his poor navigation skills. Sometimes you wonder how he got his driving license.

He stops at your house. You gather your fencing equipment, and step out of the car.

"Are you coming to Nami's party?" You hold the door open so you can speak with him.

"You sure sound very excited about it. I thought you hated parties, the people, drinks and all." He replies.

"I still do. But Nami and the others will be there, at least I won't feel alone. I want to see how it turns out. You still didn't answer me."

"I guess it's worth a try. She will probably buy the expensive drinks, someone's gotta try those out."

"You're saying that because you are an alcoholic, Zoro."

"I know. Bye." He grabs your door's handle and closes it, starts the engine and drives off.

"Yeah... Bye." You say to yourself.

You plop down on your bed, letting your body sink into the soft mattress. Maybe Zoro was right. Maybe you shouldn't go. Parties? You never attended them, the overwhelming amount of people and the disgusting smell of alcohol that would stay on your shirt keeping you away from these events.

But for God's sake, it will be hosted by Nami this time. She was your best friend ever since you started highschool, and she was also your number one supporter from the moment you two met. And now she was going to organise a huge halloween party with everyone invited, there's just no way you wouldn't attend it! Besides, all your other friends would be there, too! Robin or Sanji would definitely let you stick to their sides, you'd be safe there. You've got a whole week to get ready, both your costume and mentally.

~○~

Nami throws another ingredient in the cart, adding to the weight of it, making it even harder for you to push it forward.

"Did you even look at the price of it? Or are you just throwing in everything you see?" You ask your friend.

"We need all these, and I have the money for it. I just can't wait for tonight! This will be the party of the year, and I bet everyone will be talking about it tomorrow!" She exclaims, throwing another bag of potato chips your way. You catch it and place it on top of the heap of other food already in the cart.

"What will be your costume, Y/N?" Nami looks at you as the two of you join the line at the cash register.

"I couldn't come up with anything, I'll probaly go dressed as myself. Not very original, I know." You say as place the groceries on the conveyor belt one by one.

"Hm, I was looking forward to see you in some costume for once, but whatever." She sounds dissapointed, but at least she respects your decision.

After paying the crazy amount of money Nami decided to spend on snacks, you get into her car, heading straight towards her house. A few days ago you agreed to help her set up the party, but didn't expect it to be such a big thing. Sure, Nami was the host, so it's natural that she would plan something huge.

Her keys dingle in the front door's keyhole, and she opens it. Both your hands full with the bags, only being freed after you manage to drop them on her kitchen counter with a sigh.

"What should I help with?" You inquire, leaning on the white marble kitchen island.

"I was only thinking of helping with the groceries and now that's done, but if you're already here, could you put these into bowls? You know where to find them." She motions at the snacks in the grocery bags.

Of course you knew, Nami invited you over more than a million times, you could swear you knew the whereabout of every small item in her house. You open a cupboard, grabbing a bunch of bowls from it.

"I've got some things to tend to, Usopp should be here in about twenty minutes." She waves before going upstairs to take care of whatever she needed to.

"Ayyy! I didn't expect you here! Only here to set things up, or staying for the party too?" Usopp hugs you upon entering.

"Weird to see me here, huh? I'll stay for the party too, though I will probably stay by somebody's side, likely Robin or Sanji, maybe you, we'll see." You hug him back.

"Only an hour before the others arrive, I'm so excited! It's gonna be fun, I promise, and if ya ever feel lonely, find me!" Usopp pulls away and the two of you share your own handshake that took days to perfect.

~○~

The loud music with the same, repetative beat keeps playing from the speakers installed by Usopp earlier today, maybe an hour ago. You didn't expect everybody from the cafeteria to actually pull up, but it seems like you weren't the only one who thought it would be nice to attend a party just this one time. Everybody was there, event those smart students whose daily routine was entirely made up of studying and the quiet kids nobody knew anything about, and they all seemed to have fun. Except you.

You stood alone in the corner of the living room, awkwardly holding the red plastic cup filled with alcohol that you won't drink anyway. Maybe coming here was a bad idea after all.

"Uh, hey." You hear voice behind you, though it was faint since the music was being blasted. You turn around to see the guy from your fencing classes, the same guy that you invited here because Zoro wouldn't do it.

"Hi." You say, your fingers fiddling with the cup as you force a smile onto your face.

"I see you're alone. Zoro didn't come with you? I was sure he would." He starts.

"Uhhh I haven't seen him yet, but the party only started not so long ago, he said some days ago that he'll show up. He's bad with directions and navigation, maybe he just got lost." You explain.

"Oh, alright, if you say so. My name's Kaku. Nice to meet you, I've been watching you during fencing classes."

Zoro's face expressed disgust. Was it worth coming here? He stands still near the doorway of the living room, silently observing the scene currently unfolding on the other side of the room. When he entered, you were the first thing he saw amidst the crowd, but his happiness quickly dissapeared after a guy approaches you. Zoro could recognise him as Kaku from fencing classes, the guy who would always be paired with Zoro (and inevitably lose to him).

He couldn't hear what your conversation was about, the other guests and the music overpowering his hearing. Oh how he hated Kaku. He annoyed Zoro so much, his voice, gestures, everything. And now this man he hated was talking to you. It was supposed to be him. Maybe if he didn't take twenty-two wrong turns, get stuck in a traffic jam AND park his car in front of the wrong house, it could be him. But that wasn't the case right now, because instead of enjoying your company, he stood still on the other side of the room.

It bothered him how you had to force a smile, he could see it across the crowded room, but Kaku standing next to you couldn't. He just kept talking and talking, not noticing the way you were looking in all directions but at Kaku, who didn't seem to care.

"Heyyy, you wanna join me on the dance floor?" An unknown girl comes up to Zoro, pointing at the middle of the living room.

"No." He coldly turned her down, not even bothering to look at this girl. He couldn't take his eyes off you and Kaku, and knew that if the guy tries to do anything, whether it be a romantic or hurtful action towards you, he's going to be there between the two of you in the blink of an eye.

Just then, he notices as Kaku takes your hand into his, the movement making you seemingly uncomfortable. Seeing this, Zoro takes rapid steps trough the living room, squishing himself trough the crowd, his katanas colliding into each other. As he gets closer, he starts to hear you voice.

"No, uh, thanks, I-" you stutter, politely turning him down, trying to pull yourself back to the corner you were standing in.

"Come on, you're supposed to have fun, right? Zoro's not coming anyway, that asshole doesn't care." Kaku chuckles. Zoro deeply inhales. It took his all not to launch at the guy and gut him right then and there.

"No, sorry. I'm not going anywhere with you." You insist, pulling back your hand in hopes of freeing it from his grasp. Your heart was beating faster, and it was definitely not because Kaku's charms. You've already considered all possible outcomes of this. Lucky for you there was a small cupboard with a vase on it next to you just in case of an emergency.

"No way, I'm a nice guy, you know me! I-"

"She said no."

"Zoro!" You smile upon hearing your friend's deep voice, one that you could recognise anywhere. Kaku seems to lose some of his self confidence after Zoro's voice hits his ears, but he still didn't let go of your hand.

"Hey, buddy!" He gives the green haired man a fake smile. This was off to a bad start. Zoro could swear that if this guy called him 'buddy' again, he'll lose it.

"Let her go." He says back, not even greeting Kaku. Instead, he stared into his soul, and if looks could kill, Kaku would be gone by now.

"Alright, fine!" Kaku gets defensive, letting go of you and raising both his hands up like he was being arrested. It looked like he was waiting for a 'thank you', but you sure weren't going to thank him for the bare minimum. Feeling the tension, the guy tries to lighten the mood before Zoro accidentally stares too strongly at him.

"Zoro, buddy, can I invite you for a drink?" He asks.

Zoro nods, knowing that Kaku had no idea of what he just got himself into.

"I'll be back soon." Zoro smiles your way, which is not a rare phenomenon with you, then leaves wirh Kaku following closely behind him, leaving you alone yet again.

~○~

Zoro pours another drink into the cup, Kaku letting out a sigh of satisfaction as he downs it again. Both of them sat at the kitchen counter, drinking up everything they could find. They both consumed the same amount of alcohol, but one of them was definitely drunker than the other. Zoro was an expert at alcohol drinks, and could still stay sober even after an insane amount of drinks. Unlike Kaku. He was deeply drunk by now, just as Zoro expected it.

"Zoro, hi! You're actually here, cool! Though I would be happier if you left your katanas at home." Nami appears, greeting her friend.

"I always take them with me everywhere."

"Yeah, that's exactly why you are banned from so many places."

"Zoro, pour me and yourself another!" Kaku chuckles, his shaky hands holding the cup towards the green haired. Zoro agrees, but when he tries to grab another drink, he notices that it's all gone.

"Strange. I thought you were prepared, Nami." He says.

"I WAS! But you two idiots drank it all!" She shouts at the two, mad that they didn't leave any for the rest of the guests.

"So no more drinks?" Zoro looks over to Nami, earning a sigh from her.

"There is. Go to the garage, I have a few crates of it stored there. Bring those up, but leave some for the others."

"Why do I have to get them? You're the host, do it yourself." Kaku whines, clearly drunk.

"MAYBE BECAUSE I WASN'T THE ONE WHO DRANK IT ALL. NOW GO." she pushes Kaku out of the room, Zoro walking behind them.

He would be lying if he said this wasn't what he was planning all along. The crates in the garage? He knew about it. And he also knew that nobody will be there, all the guests in the living room or one of the guest rooms. He felt a bit bad for leaving you alone, but there were things that had to be done. And it was for your own good.

"Man, I'm telling ya, I would be long gone with that girl if you didn't interfere. Damn bro, I even had some aphrodisiac with me, I-"

Zoro didn't need to hear the rest. His steps slowed down, mind going in multiple directions. Did he just mean you when saying 'that girl'? Did he really want to give you that shit? Kaku may be drunk, but drunk words are sober thoughts, and Zoro knew that. He hated Kaku, but now he snapped. This guy was going too far, and Zoro didn't like the way this crazy dude talked and thought about you.

He opens the garage's door, holding it open for Kaku to enter, and he does so, skipping his way down the few stairs. Unbeknownst to him, he just walked into a trap, one that Zoro has been planning ever since Kaku started making flirty comments towards you during fencing classes, not noticing how you were internally cringing and creeped out by him, but neither of you ever said a word about this. And tonight really did it for Zoro. He didn't invite Kaku for a drink because he wanted to get closer to him. He did it to get him into this drunken state, and made him drink up every drink until there was none left. He didn't need Nami to ask them to get more, he would've done it anyways.

Kaku looks trough the shelves, searching for even more drinks.

"Zoro, you helping me or nah?" He inquires, still looking at the metal shelf.

"Sure. I think I already found one of the crates." He says, carrying a crate filled with whiskey over to Kaku. He tries to hand it to him, but drops it in the process. The glasses break, the alcohol spilling on the floor and Kaku, who is now soaked from head to toe, given that he was crouching when this happened.

"Sorry." There was no remorse in Zoro's tone, but the guy believed him anyways, the drinks doing their thing.

"It's okay buddy, mistakes happen." He smiles, going back to searching the shelf again in case he missed something.

He doesn't notice as Zoro quietly locks the garage's door, trapping the two alone together. He starts searching in his pocket, until he finally gets his hands on the keys to Nami's car, the keys that he stole from the hanger in the hallway. Zoro opens the car's door, sitting down on the leather seat of it, then inserts the key and the engine comes to life with a buzzing sound.

"Ey man, be careful or you'll hit me!" Kaku shouts, still crouching just a few meters away from the car.

"Don't worry. Stay there, and you'll be safe. I just want to test something." He lies, and steps on the gas pedal. The tires of the car squealed on the concrete floor of the garage, which had just enough space for the green haired to roll the car back a bit.

"Buddy, Zoro, no, no, let me just go back, you can try the car when I'm not here." Kaku stands up, ready to leave in this instant.

"Stay put. I'm here to crush your skull, not the car." And with that, Zoro pushes the car's gear, feet forcefully pressing the gas pedal.

A loud thud echoes in the garage as Zoro crashes into the wall, the breaking of bones and coughs ringing with it. Kaku tries to take deep breaths, but now that he was squished between the wall and the car, it seemed impossible. His head was spinning, eyesight hazy, the only thing he tried to focus his eyes on was the man in the driver's seat, staring at him with an emotionless gaze.

Zoro backs up a bit with the car, Kaku falling to the floor with broken ribs. He coughs, clawing at the floor in hopes of being able to crawl away. Zoro opens the car's door, slowly stepping out. Kaku was almost at the few steps leading to the door, when he looks back over his shoulders at the sound of footsteps, the green haired man approaching him.

"No, please, I-" he crawls a bit faster, but Zoro grabs him by the collar of his shirt, pulling him back with force, then dragging him along the cold concrete floor, back towards the car.

Zoro lifts him up, then places him in the drivers seat while he stands at the car's door.

"You're gonna be in big trouble when I tell the others about this." He manages to whisper between coughs, his own blood filling his mouth.

"They won't." And with that, Zoro steps on the gas pedal, quickly pulling his leg back after doing so. A deafening scream pierces trough the air, the car running into the wall yet again, the metal shelf between the two objects breaking right trough the windshield, the end of it sliding trough Kaku's head.

The car sparks at the impact, the alcohol spilled there by Zoro previously catching fire. Was the crate drop a few minutes ago intentional? Yes. Yes, it was. Now the car was in flames, the already dead Kaku stiff in the drivers seat.

Zoro calmly grabs a crate filled with beer from the other side of the room, and makes his way towards the door like nothing happened. He doesn't look back, letting the car burn with Kaku inside it. The whole garage was made up of concrete walls, which cannot catch or spread fire, meaning that Nami's house won't burn down if he leaves the fire to be.

He leaves the room, striding back to the kitchen. Just as he was about to leave the hallway and enter the living room, Nami comes rushing to him.

"Zoro! What took you so long?! We heard loud noises, I was getting worried that something happened to you!" She scolds him.

"I didn't know you could do that." He coldly replies, earning an eyeroll from the ginger girl, who noticed something.

"Wait, where's the guy who went with you?" She asks.

"Oh, Kaku? He told me to feel free to come back, said he wanted to try something. He should be here soon." He lies straight to Nami's face.

Nami shrugs, about to go back to the middle of the party, when she suddenly stops in her tracks. Her nose picks up an unkonwn scent, or more like smell.

"Zoro, can you smell it too?" She asks worriedly, turning back to the swordsman. "Smoke." Realisation dawns on her, eyes going wide. She rushes out the room, a curious Usopp and you behind her. "You're coming too!" She shouts back, clearly meaning Zoro. So, he follows them.

The grey smoke filled the hallway as they got closer to the garage, Nami already suspecting what happened. Usopp bursts trough the garage's door, letting out a few coughs along with Nami and you. The room was filled with smoke, the orange haired girl's car still in flames, it was only a matter of time before it gets worse and the car explodes.

"SOMEBODY HELP! WE NEED WATER! CALL THE POLICE AND FIREFIGHTERS!" Usopp screams. Nami and you nod, running back to warn the others and call for help.

Now Zoro was left alone with Usopp, who was panicking, taking fast and deep breaths to calm himself down.

"You, Zoro? D-don't you feel l-like doing something about this?" He shakily asks, eyes on the green haired man.

"I already did." He answers. Usopp slightly scrunches his eyebrows, not quite understanding what he meant.

"What are y-you trying to say? You're creeping me out a bit, you know." He takes a tiny step back, Zoro looking at him with a colder, more menacing stare than usual.

Usopp swallows hard, feeling uneasy after Zoro doesn't give him an answer.

"Zoro, you... you didn't, right?" He nervously chuckles, but Zoro still doesn't move or say anything. Usopp realises that he's in grave danger here, and it's time for him to run. But just as he turns around, ready to sprint back to the living room, he hears as Zoro unsheats one of his katanas. Usopp grabs a vase, throwing it right towards Zoro, who simply cuts trough it.

"This can't be real, this can't be real, this can't be real!" Usopp murmurs to himself, shutting his eyes for a few seconds. But when he opens them again, Zoro's gone. Or at least that's what he thought, standing up, letting out a deep sigh at the fact that he won't die.

"Sorry. No witnesses." He hears the deep voice from behind, the blade making contact with his upper body. Usopp looks down, and is met with the sight of Zoro's katana going trough right his heart. He sees as Zoro pulls out the blade from his flesh, a hole left in its place. He coughs, blood spilling from his mouth before landing on the flooring beneath him with a thud.

Zoro's hands were now stained with his friend's blood, the crimson liquid staining Nami's floor and his katana's shiny blade. He had to get rid of the body quickly, before you, Nami and all the others return with the cops. So, he grabs Usopp's dead body by the legs, dragging him to the burning car in the garage a few steps away.

You panic, dialing 911 as fast as possible while Nami ushered everybody out the house before something else catches on fire too, or the flames reach the wrong spot of the car and it explodes. But Usopp was down there, trying to put it out with the buckets from the storage room. Or at least that's what you thought was happening.

"911, what's your emergency?" A female voice chimes in from the other side of the line, one that you could recognise.

"Uta, hi! Nami's car got caught on fire in her garage, and she said somebody was there too, it can explode any minute, Usopp is trying to put it out but I'm worried for him, I-" you dump all the information on her, but she calmly cuts you off.

"Alright. I'll ask my dad to go, he'll bring some of his colleagues too, so him and some firefighters will be there in a few minutes."

"Thank you. Bye." You shake, worried for Usopp and Zoro at the garage. Uta puts down the phone, and you do the same as you rush back to the garage to get the two out of the house.

You cough as you get closer, Usopp and Zoro nowhere to be seen.

"ZORO! USOPP! COME ON, WE NEED TO GET OUT!" You shout, hoping they will hear you. You slow in your track when you notice the splatters of blood on the floor and wall a few meters away from the entrance of the garage. Did something happen to them? You think for a second. Maybe the fire wasn't caused by accident. Maybe somebody set it on fire intentionally, killing the person Nami said was there. And now he maybe got one of your friends too.

"USOPP! ZOR-" you call out their names, when suddenly the green haired man appears in the garage's doorway.

"Oh god, you're alright! Look, we need to get out of here, the police, firefighters and ambulance are already on their way, there's nothing we can do about the fire now. And I might sound stupid right now, but there might be even a killer, and-"

"There is. Now come with me and get out of here." He cuts you off and grabs your hand, heading to where you just came from.

"But Usopp-" you try to stop yourself, but Zoro keeps dragging you behind him.

"He'll be fine." He replies, not even looking at you.

"You know what he's like, we can't just leave him here!" You argue back, slightly raising your voice.

"There's no time for him, we need to leave, now."

"No!" You tear your hand away from his. "He will panic that he's alone, or worse, he can die too! Don't you think about that?!"

"I do, but I don't care. I don't care if that fool dies, but if I don't get you out of here and you die because of me, I'll never forgive myself." He lifts you, throwing you over his shoulder, firm hands keeping you in place. You squirm, trying to get out of his touch, but it seems impossible.

He bursts trough the door, then places you down at the front yard. The other guests were either gone the moment they heard there was a fire, or watched in horror as the smoke flowed out the house. Just as you step on the sidewalk in front of the house, the sound of cop cars hit your ears, that same deafening sound as all the other times. Firefighters and ambulance arrive at the scene too, jumping out of the vehicles in an instant. You rush towards one firefighter, the black haired, freckled guy you were friends with.

"Ace! Ace, one of my friends is still inside, please, try to find him and get him out." You beg, tears forming in the corner of your eyes.

"That's my job, sweetheart. Don't worry!" He reassuringly winks, running toward's Nami's house.

You knew Ace since childhood, you both went to the same school and your moms were good friends, so you got to hang out with him a lot. He loved going on adventures, and was a good company. He always dreamt of being a firefighter, and it was like a dream come true for him when he got the job. You knew that he will be great at this job, and you trusted him. When he told you not to worry, you believed him, there was something about your friend saying this that calmed you down a bit.

"Hey, you alright?" Another familiar voice sounds from behind you, his hands placed on your shoulders. You turn around and see the red haired man with scars over one of his eyes, worry displaying in his eyes. You couldn't hold your tears anymore, this was it. You wrap your arms around him, face buried into his chest, sobs escaping your lips.

"It's okay, it's okay. You'll be fine." He hugs back, bringing a sense of comfort to you. Shanks was the usual friendly cop, the one who would always be there when an old lady called the police because her cat got stuck on a tree, the man who would knock into your home just because he was bored and wanted company. You knew him, his little secrets, and he knew yours.

~○~

The rest of the night you sat in Shanks' cop car, a blanket over you after a doctor checked up on you and it was all okay. You were devastated. Ace and the doctors did everything they could to save Usopp, who was found dead in the garage, stabbed. The other victim was Kaku, who died under mysterious circumstances. There was definitely a killer, but nobody knew who it was. Though you did have your suspect. And you could only wish you were wrong.

The last time you and Nami saw Kaku was when he was with Zoro, but Nami said that the two went to fetch drinks and Kaku stayed behind, so maybe that wasn't Zoro's fault. But it was also him who stayed with Usopp, he was last seen with him. And the fact that Zoro carries his katanas everywhere, including this party, and Usopp getting killed by a blade just fit together. Why would he kill Usopp? You had no idea.

Everyone got questioned one by one, and sadly all clues lead to Zoro according to Benn, who was Shanks' colleague. You didn't know him like you knew Shanks, but you would meet him often. He was smart, and knew what he was doing. And that's why you were so worried. Because he is likely right this time too, and that means Zoro, your best friend is a murderer.

You see as Shanks approaches his car where you were sitting, a serious look on his face.

"Is something wrong?" You quietly ask, worried that something happened, something wrong.

"I'm sorry. I really am." He says as he sits down in the back next to you, looking in a direction. You follow where his eyes are focused, and see what you didn't want to. Zoro in handcuffs, escorted to a police car. A tear escapes you, it hurts to think that your friend is a killer. You didn't know his motives, why he did what he did, but he probably had a good reason.

~○~

Life went smoothly. The image of that night was still vivid in your mind, but you forgot about it so often that it was almost like it's gone. You would still sometimes dream about it, but other than that, you were fine. Shanks was worried that you will be targeted after this, so he offered to take care of you and live with him if you want. You have been living alone ever since you were 15, and you knew Shanks well, so, you moved in with him. He has been acting as your father figure ever since, and you totally don't mind it.

You would sometimes still wonder: why did you do it, Zoro?

one piece and all related characters belong to eiichiro oda, i do not own any of those characters.

© v1nsmokes 2023. Do not modify, translate or rewrite.

[maochira]

hi mao i really love your writing your blog is such a safe place 💗 and i'd like to request you with chigiri, isagi, rin, reo and with yukimiya with a s/o who made a photobook about them with song lyrics. Like you see it in pinterest 😭😭😭 you can add more charachters if you want thank you sm💗 also s/o can be female or gender natural have a great day!! 💝💝

Glad to hear my blog is a safe space for you!!💟

Requests open! - masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, fluff, established relationship

Chigiri

-he was very surprised when you hand the photobook to him and at first, he doesn't really understand what it is but as soon as he sees te first page, he realizes what you made and is already speechless

-about three pages into it, his heart starts beating really fast from all the love he's feeling right now. He really wants to say something, but is still speechless and doesn't get a single word out

-the sparkle his eyes and the smile oon his lips tell you enough about what he's feeling, though

-right after he finishes looking through the entire photobook, he flips through it a second time because he just adores it so much he needs to see it again immediately!!

Isagi

-starts tearing up while he flips through it but tries not to cry

-he stares at every page for at least thirty seconds. He has to see EVERY detail to not miss anything

-he says something about every page while looking at it!! Mostly he just repeats things like "That's so cute" and "You didn't need to do this" because he's a bit overwhelmed by the fact that you put so much effort into it

-starts bawling his eyes out when he sees a photo from your first date on the last page

Rin

-he silently flips through the entire photobook and barely says a word while he looks at everything

-he takes his time. He looks at every single photo and reads every single lyric, making sure he doesn't oversee anything

-when he finishes, he puts the book aside and pulls you into the tightest hug you've ever got

-he keeps repeating how much he loves you and asks how long it took you to make the photobook

Reo

-barely looks at the first two pages of the photobook and already gets overwhelmed so much with love, he has to put it aside

-he showers you with lots of kisses and literally doesn't stop thanking you!! He won't stop until he's given you at least 100 kisses

-it's his favourite present he's ever gotten and he promises to flip through it at least once a day. He appreciated the work you put into it very much and

Yukimiya

-he looks at the photobook like a little child looks at their christmas presents

-he recognizes every single lyric and what song they're from immediately. He points them out every time as well!

-halfway into it, he cries a little because not only the lyrics, but also the photos make him very emotional. Just seeing the photos of you two brings back memories of happy moments and how many more are to come!!

-he asks you to make a playlist with every song that appeared in the photobook and he's going to listen to it at least two times a day

[koolkat9]

That is honestly the perfect way to describe Ludwig lmao

Thank you. I've was thinking about it all day yesterday actually. And before I begin, I do not want people to take this as ger//ita bashing. I'm not really into the ship but I do think at least Ludwig was in love with Feli at some point and I love exploring the toxic side of their potential romance.

Anyway. Perhaps this toxic mindset about love and taking acts of service too far was rooted in him from a young age. A kind of generational trauma if you will passed down from Gilbert due to his time as a religious order. This is getting into projection territory, but that's how I come up with good ideas lol. I sometimes wonder if I am such a people pleaser, unable to speak up for myself and/or say no because I was religious and because they promote a degree of unselfishness that can become unhealthy. Being "Christ-like" requires some form of sacrifice after all. Put those around you before your self for that is how you serve God and get into Heaven. Even though I don't think Ludwig was ever that religious (and that Gil started deconstructing his religion when Lud popped up so it only indirectly influenced his parenting) the idea of love requiring sacrifice and love and care being shown by putting others above yourself always still got rooted in him.

Then you got Feli. Though a bit of a ditz and oblivious, I am a firm believer he isn't as stupid as he presents himself to be. After all, we see him be quite capable, specifically when he was a child. I always loved the headcanon that Feli has abandonment and attachment issues so he acts completely helpless in a attempt to not be left behind again.

With both these trauma responses put together probably won't result in the healthiest relationship. Ludwig give give giving and Feli take take taking because neither knows better and do it to protect themselves. Going a long this line it probably causes issues in their friendship but I think it reaches its climax if they get into a romantic relationship and thus get even more involved in each other's lives. It eventually leads to them breaking up and distancing themselves from each other for a bit.

It is this break that makes them reconsider a lot of things. Ludwig allows himself to explore other romantic options. He had many crushes alongside his crush on Feli, but he had been holding out, hoping Feli felt the same way. By exploring a new relationship or two, he starts to realize that maybe he was giving too much. Thinking too much about Feli and not enough about himself. He learns to love in a more healthy way like that post that tag is from said.

Feli also realizes that maybe the whole helpless act went a little too far. He did what he always did to keep people close and yet Ludwig still left him. One of the people he loved most left him. He spends weeks in reflection. Maybe spends some time with Kiku who puts things in perspective for him since he was an outsider looking in to Feli and Lud's relationship. As an itapan shipper maybe it leads to itapan with Kiku being a grounding force for Feli, but doesn't let him get away with shit. But also Feli may need a bit of a break from serious romances until he finishes processing his trauma. Choose your own ending there.

As much as I don't care for ger//ita as a wholesome end game romance, I do love their friendship every much. So once both heal a bit, Feli and Lud come back together with a friendship stronger than ever, supporting each other in their healing journey and new relationships.

[beautifulchris]

arts & crafts center

wc: 0,8k

pairing: demigod!hyunjin x gn demigod!reader

summary: your shared passion for art and your father's powers bring you closer together

genres: fluff, little angst, demigod!au, camp half-blood!au, strangers to friends!au, mutual pining!au, son of aphrodite!hyunjin, child of aether!reader

tw: magic, physical injury, infirmary, idiots

notes: yeah, since there's more cabins being constructed, i took the liberty to add gods of my choice. meet aether, the primordial god of light and the upper air! i'm reposting the works i posted while shadowbanned, please don't mind me

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @whipped-kpop-creators

permanent tag list: @badwithten​ send ask/dm/comment to be added!

GIF publié par juiceofmoons

The guy spent most of his time in the arts and crafts center to paint. You went there to sculpt every once in a while.

Every time you went, he was the only one that wasn't from the Athena cabin. There were always Athena kids there, but an Aphrodite son... Now, that was something.

When you'd hear him complaining about the light, you'd bend it so that it would hit his subject —whatever it was— like he wanted. It was just practice for you and a divine gift for him.

It went like this for a few weeks, until he came to see you after finishing a painting. "Aether kid? Thank you. My paintings are way better when you're here and use your powers on the light," he smiled, bowing slightly.

"It's my pleasure to help a fellow artist, Aphrodite kid."

"Please, call me Hyunjin."

"Y/N."

"Sorry I didn't come earlier Y/N, I had to make sure it was really you before presenting myself."

"Of course, it would've been embarrassing to thank someone for something they didn't do," you giggled and he laughed with you.

Since then, you became friends, often going to the arts and crafts center together —at least when you went— which was more often now.

Sometimes you'd pass by on your way to the training grounds and turn invisible to scare him. Nevertheless, you'd wait for his paintbrush to be everywhere but in his hand to avoid a disaster (you're not a monster).

Once, though, he was so focused on something important for him, he got mad when you sneaked up on him, which startled you.

"Stop scaring me like that!" he hissed, annoyed.

"Okay," you faltered, "I'm sorry."

He looked over and his anger dissipated a bit. "Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to use charmspeak."

"No, it's okay. I'm really sorry. I promise I won't do it anymore."

You kept your promise alright. You were so ashamed of yourself that you avoided going back there altogether. No, it was not the best thing to do. But hey, you were young and your feelings mattered.

Of course, Hyunjin's too.

Even knowing that, you'd turn invisible and flee every time you'd see him looking for you. When he walked past your cabin (your siblings sure knew an Aphrodite kid was searching for you), before and after meals, chariot races and games of capture-the-flag.

Yeah, it lasted a while. Around two weeks, I think.

Then, Hyunjin had enough. He never thought he could miss someone so badly but here he was, pathetically whining about you not wanting to speak to him.

Needless to say, all his friends knew about you and the terrible things he did to drive you away. It was a matter of time before they teamed up with your siblings to stop this nonsense —according to them, anyway.

Fortunately —or not, depending who you're asking—, on one fateful Friday evening, an Ares kid hurt you badly enough during capture-the-flag that you ended up in the infirmary.

Guess who came to see you first?

Yes, Hyunjin, good job!

You were laying in bed, your sword arm in a plaster. He was standing a few beds away, panting and staring at your face then your arm.

If you spotted him, you did nothing to leave. Maybe you were too badly hurt from the game or just exhausted from running away. Either way, Hyunjin approached and sat on a wooden chair next to you.

"Hey," he greeted sheepishly, rubbing his nape.

“Aye,” you greeted back, a little weak.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like my arm has been run over by a train. I’ll be okay tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he breathed, then inhaled deeply. “Y/N, I’m sorry. Scaring you away was the last thing I wanted.”

You shook your head and held his gaze. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I did. I used my ability to make you uncomfortable and I deeply apologize. I avoided you because I was too embarrassed.”

His eyes softened at your sight and kind, honest words. “I got mad at you for nothing, I’m sorry.”

“It was justified,” you insisted.

“Still, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“It wasn’t cool of me to do what I did, your anger was rightful.”

“I—”

“Can you please stop and make up already? Gods, you’re so dense, both of you,” Lia cut off, frowning and tending to another camper in the bed next to yours.

Hyunjin and you apologized at the same time and laughed quietly.

“The truth is… I was painting something for you, and I wanted it to be perfect. I might have been a lot stressed about it.”

“You made a painting for me? You’re so sweet Jinnie.”

Blushing at the nickname, he looked away and took your unharmed hand in his.

“So… are you coming back to the arts and crafts center if only to receive my gift?”

“Depends,” you smirked, “do you miss me or my powers?”

“All of you.”

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, here's the masterlist <3

[yourkimjaejin]

I Care

"I'm gonna kill the company." Haechan's eyes followed his fellow members figure as she paced back and forth in the living room of his home. Juno had stormed into his house a mere thirty minutes after he texted her about packing for the airport.

The woman marched through his front door, threw her purse down and had been plotting the downfall of SM ever since.

"You can't kill a company Juno."

"Then I'll get someone to buy it."

"Do you even know anyone with enough money to buy SM as a whole?"

"Have you met Chenle?" She paused her pacing to look at Donghyuck incredulously.

"I love Chenle just like everyone else. Unfortunately, He does not have enough money to buy out the company." Juno began to throw a mini tantrum, whining and stomping her feet. Haechan had to cover his smiling face with his hand. It was impossible not to find cute. Minutes later, Juno flopped down on the couch crossing her arms with a pout while Donghyuck continued to pack his bag.

He went back to his room to get his latest clothing obesseion, his loewe beanie, only to see the women now laying across his luggage case in protest. Haechan walk over to stand over Juno, trying and failing to look stern.

"You have to let me pack."

"You need to rest."

"I feel better."

"NOT ENOUGH FOR ME!" Juno sat up, eyes sharp in anger but they quickly turned sad. She walked over to the window looking over the Korea skyline.

Juno was so worried when the news came out about Haechan being sick. The signer was halfway booking a fight until Thea called to give her the rundown. The talk with AG's leader stopped her from flying out to 127's location but it didn't stop her worry. After Haechan told her he'd be flying back to Korea, she forced one of the managers to take her to the airport and pick the sick man up.

Mama Lee and Juno had been tag teaming, getting Donghyuck to do nothing but sleep, eat and drink water. Day's later, their hard word paid off. Donghyuck was better. His fever went down, his throat wasn't as scratchy but it still hurt when he swallowed.

Someone should have told SM the better didn't mean best.

Juno let out a deep sigh. Wishing there was a way to get the company off the younger's back so he can rest, properly.

Haechan made his way to her side, wrapping an arm around her waist and bringing her close. Haechan may have indulged a bit and placed a soft kiss on the side of her forehead.

"It's just a fansign. I won't be doing anything else."

Juno sighed, "A fansign which leads to a performance. Which leads to practices for dream then SM just takes advantage of you again and works you until your sick...again." She turns around in his hold to face him, "You need rest to get better. You can't keep getting to 70 percent then go on about your day." Haechan could tell the singer was serious about this. Serious about him taking care of himself. But its hard when it feels like your success as an idol is reliant on you being present twenty-four seven.

Donghyuck somehow pulled her closer, resting his head against hers. The pair stayed that way for awhile, pausing the world until its just the two of them. Juno wanted to fight more. Storm into the company and force them to let Donghyuck rest but she didn't have that kind of power. Not yet anyway.

She also knew her fellow singer found it hard to sit in one place for more than a day. The younger confessing that having her close made the time pass quicker. Made him feel less lonely. If that's the least Juno can do, she'd do it.

"Wanna help me finish packing?"

"....fine. I'll be making sure you dont forget an ounce of your medcine. Mama Lee's orders."

"Of course! Wouldn"t wanted to disrespect Mama Lee."

The rest of the night was spent folding clothes in comfortable slience.

And if Juno force fed him his medicine right before he got out of car the next day....nobody needed to know.

[stellamancer]

don’t, if you value your life (one-sided nier x reader)

notes: i have had the idea of this fic in my head ever since i finished replicant like a year ago. of all the things i expected to write on my days off, this was absolutely not one of them, but at midnight a demon possessed my body and puked out the fic. though i think of it more of a writing exercise since anyone knows me knows that my typical genre of fic is completely on the other side of the spectrum of this. 

contains: angst (no happy ending), canon-typical violence, mentions of blood, suicide ideation, very minor stalking, character death, largely un-beta read, language (Kainé is present after all). 

wc: 3.9k words

if you read this and think i need to add a tag, please tell me. 

Don't go into that village. 

Don't go near it. 

Don't, if you value your life. 

The words of your elders are etched into your brain— your mind. It's a mantra, a hymn, a warning. The village in question is a quiet place, nestled in verdant hills, built upon the ruins of the old world. They say it's peaceful there, pretty even, but the village houses a great and terrible monster. One that will kill on sight— without hesitation, without mercy. 

When you were younger, the curiosity, morbid and insatiable clawed at your heart. Maybe the elders were over exaggerating, maybe they were mistaken, maybe there was no monster at all. You thought about it sometimes, thought about tempting fate and visiting the forbidden village. Someone said that there's a library there and you'd love to see one, even just once. However, everyone who ignored the words of elders— who set off to see that village never, ever returned. 

That, in of itself, was enough to prove the monster was real. 

And so, you stayed away.

You didn't need to see a library, the view of the ocean near your home was beautiful enough to fill your heart and mind, leaving no room for thoughts of merciless, bloodthirsty monsters. For the most part, your existence has been quiet and peaceful.

At least it was, until the monster left its village. 

Until the monster came to the seaside town you called your home. 

Truth be told, it's not the first time the monster has appeared in your hometown, but its visits were well communicated— the sentries stationed outside the town quick to inform everyone to hide for the monster was on the way. Those visits were spent in the shadows hiding with bated breath— hoping and praying the monster would never notice. Your mother had hidden you well away, afraid that even laying eyes on the monster would condemn you to a fate far too sad. So you didn't know, you didn't know—

The screaming through the town is sudden and shrill, the sound running chills down your body. It is a siren biding you to run if you value your life. You and those around you act on instinct, running, scampering across the streets. Some run further into town, some toward the harbor, you run toward the lighthouse, abandoned since its caretaker died some years ago. You think it will be safest. The monster is said to be indiscriminate with its slaughtering, but also intelligent— surely, it won't come looking for murder in a place where no one is supposed to be. And if it does… you can choose to end it yourself rather than at the monster's bloody hands. 

You ascend the lighthouse, two steps at a time. The cacophony of carnage is muffled here— distant, but still ominous in the background. You quickly reach the top of the tower and the town is so saturated in the stench of death that not even the salty sea breeze that's filling your lungs can displace it. From here you can see it all, your peers running in all directions, scattering like petals in the wind. 

It is here, for the very first time, you see the monster. 

If not for the large, bloodied greatsword in his hands, you would think him more a man than a monster. You cannot make much of his features from atop the lighthouse, save for his hair, shimmering like a beautiful white pearl in the sunlight. A strange, morbid frustration tears at your stomach as you strain your eyes in efforts to get a better look at this monster. He rushes at a group, too slow, too unfortunate and looks to effortlessly cleave them, slicing their bodies into ribbons. 

You should be horrified. Disgusted. Afraid. 

Instead, you are transfixed. 

Your body is stock still as you bear witness to the monster's massacre. He is every bit as cruel as the elders said— there is no hesitation, no mercy in the swing of his sword as he fells your neighbors and friends one by one. You are lucky that you ran to such a secluded area, just as you figured, the monster of a man doesn't bother to come your way. You wonder if he thinks there is no carnage to be found in such an abandoned place. 

Do monsters even think?

You remain there, rooted to the spot until you see the monster, a bloodstained pearl, wander toward the town's entrance. Once he's gone, your legs finally give out from beneath you, the weight of it all hitting you like a tidal wave. Eventually, you crawl your way down the steps of the lighthouse and into the town proper to find any survivors.

After a few hours, everyone is rounded up. Only just a fourth of your small community remains. No one is without loss— friends, family, lovers are all victims to the monster's rampage. Your heart seizes in your chest when you realize your mother is among the lost. She had been home when the disaster came to pass, waiting for you to return from an errand she had sent you out for. Had she come looking for you when all hell broke loose? Was she searching for you when she drew her last breath? Was your unconfirmed safety what cost her her life? 

Despaired and disgusted, you retch. 

You should have run home instead of to the lighthouse. Because you didn't, your mother is dead. Or maybe, if you had gone back, you would have perished together, you holding your mother in a shielding embrace as the monster brings the sword down. Or, more morbidly, the monster taking your life before your mother's eyes before claiming her life as well. You don't know. You throw up again. 

The remaining shuffle to the beach, erecting crude graves of shells and stones there. One of the older members of the community recites a prayer, something reminiscent of the olden days before the ebbing tide washes the graves away. 

In the days after the slaughter, the community is especially quiet, mourning. You don't know what to do in the absence of your mother, most of your friends were among the deceased as well: you have no one left. Some of the few remaining turn to anger in their grief: marching off to the forbidden village to claim what all know to be suicide disguised as declarations of revenge. You think it's because they don't know what to do either. 

There is almost no one left in your small seaside town and the decision is made to find another community. You follow wordlessly, carrying nothing but your memories of your quiet and peaceful life because they are all that you have left. 

Fortunately, there is another community close to your seaside town, sequestered in a building large enough to home at least a dozen families. From the outside the building looks like a fancy mansion, but the interior creeps you out– it's too quiet, too eerie. To make matters worse, the community lives beneath the mansion, in what seems to be a mad scientist's lab. You almost feel like at any moment you're going to become an experiment. Some of the members of this new community seem like they already are one. 

The only good thing about your new home is that there is a library. Shelves and shelves of books line the wall. It is the only place in the mansion that has character, but there are rules that restrict visiting the library. You don't care. The rules don't matter much any more.

Nothing really matters much any more. 

It is in the library where you see the monster a second time. 

While perusing what appears to be some kind of fairy tale you hear footsteps in the hall and you instinctively scamper off into a hiding spot. You're not in the mood to be caught and lectured by the guards for breaking the rules tonight. The doors swing open and it's not the guards who walk in but the monster himself, accompanied by two— three others?

You watch from the shadows as the monster and his comrades move about the library. As he chats with them, you can't help but think of him as more of a man than a monster. He banters with… a floating book? How strange. How interesting. You'd love to see the contents of a talking book one day. 

It is much easier to make out the man's features in such close quarters. You think that he can't be much older than you. He's handsome, much more handsome than a monster has any right being. There's some odd urge to get a better look at his face pooling in your stomach. Your instinct is to act on it, to just get closer and look and look and—

Don't go near it.

Don't, if you value your life.

The old mantra holds you still like a spell, the warning coursing through your veins, keeping you taut. But still you keep watching the man, the monster. He laughs with what you have come to realize are his friends and you think he almost seems human. Is this really the same monster that wreaked havoc on your little town a few months ago?

The man and his friends soon leave the library, the talking book bickering with the man's lady friend about her choice in dress. When you are sure that they are gone and not coming back you emerge from your hiding place and settle yourself in with the fairy tale book you had been reading. Hours pass before you've read your fill and you make your way back to the cold, metal depths your community calls home. 

What you find upon arrival is not the low, but comforting chatter of your new friends and new neighbors, but dozens upon dozens of bloodstains— fresh and sticky. The stench of death is thick in the air, a sickening and stifling miasma. Before you can think, your feet are racing through the halls, screams reverberating against the walls as you search and search and search.

But you find no one. 

You are the only survivor. 

No one is left and you don't know what to do with yourself. There is a distant thought bidding you to return to the library, to drown yourself in books, in stories of another land, another time, another place where things matter and happy endings exist.

There is another thought, closer, louder and it is of the man. The handsome man. The terrible monster. Something in you desires to seek him out. Not for revenge, because you know that would be pointless, but merely because you want to get a better look at his face before you meet your inevitable end. 

You make it your goal— your reason to live. At this point, you're not even sure if you can call what you're doing living. You leave the mansion with this goal; it's all you have left. 

The journey to the forbidden village is not that long, it only takes a day on foot. But when you get to the edge you hesitate, unsure. 

What if the monster of a man isn't here?

You shake your head. Nonsense. This is his home. No other monsters have come to destroy it for he is surely the strongest one in all the land. He will definitely be here. 

Shuffling past what looks to be an abandoned camp, you make your way toward the village gates. Naturally, there are guards, but you manage to hop the fence, avoiding their attention. 

The village, despite being forbidden, is fairly peaceful. Quiet. It reminds you of your seaside home. You keep to the shadows as you steal past a row of merchants, watching as a few children play tag around a cobblestone fountain. 

Now that you're here, you realize you have no clue where to find the monster of a man. But there is one building, sitting atop a grassy hill above all the rest. You think it's a good idea to start there. 

You slink your way up the hill and you spot a few more children playing in the grass. To your surprise, a couple notice you. Surprising you further, they wave. Shyly, you wave back before bolting toward the tall building, not wanting to remain in the same spot lest the children go running to their parents. When you reach the top of the hill, you look back. The children are still playing and you breathe a sigh of relief before entering the building. 

It turns out that this is the famed library of the forbidden village. The feeling of joy, strange yet familiar, bubbles pleasantly in your stomach. You’re here to find the monster, but surely it’s fine if you take a detour. This library is much bigger than the one at the mansion— there are more books to bury yourself in, more stories to fill the void in your heart that’s been growing ever since you left your seaside town. You peruse the titles on the shelves and when you find one you don’t recognize you pull at it, freeing it from the shelf and watching as it falls to the ground, the smack echoing throughout the otherwise silent library. You freeze, fearful that someone will come running to find the source of the noise. When no one does, you scoop up the book and scamper off to a quiet, dark corner of the library to read. 

Part way through the story, the main doors of the library slam open, demanding your attention and you look up from the top of your book only to find the monster of a man. But it doesn’t look like he’s here to read, instead he briskly walks the length of the lobby. Your eyes remain glued to his form as he runs up the stairs and disappears onto the library’s second floor. The thought to follow him crosses your mind, but you remain still. He will have to come back down the stairs when he leaves— you will follow him then. You turn your attention back to the story, a little saddened that your attention is divided: it was just starting to get good. Maybe you’ll get a chance later to reread it, give it your full attention. 

Some time later, you hear footsteps again and quietly close your book. The man appears, descending the staircase, his handsome face marred by a scowl. Idly, you wonder what happened to make him upset like that, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter. You stare from your dark little corner, waiting for him to leave before you follow after him, sure to keep yourself out of sight, sure to keep yourself at a safe distance. 

Don't go near it.

Don't, if you value your life.

The monster heads toward a house, fenced in and half-dilapidated. Despite that, there’s something about the home that is warm, cozy. A stark difference from the terribly violent image of the monster that the elders painted for you. You watch, hidden in the shadow of a nearby building, as the monster tends to a flower bed next to his home, watering and weeding them before he heads inside. Through the window you see the glimmer of light, and once you’re sure he won’t suddenly come out and kill you where you stand, you draw closer to the house. 

Curious, you examine the flowers. You are not an expert on plants, but they look well cared for. It’s strange. Why would a monster so lovingly tend to plants? A monster by nature, by definition, is a creature of destruction, so why? You don’t understand. 

But you want to, against all instinct, against all odds, you want to.

You start to follow after the monster as he goes about his business, or more accurately, the business of others, running errands for them: delivering packages and messages, fishing, committing atrocities against your people. You’re always sure to stay a safe distance away— close enough to observe, yet far enough to not get wrapped up in the carnage. But sometimes, a reckless rush runs through your veins and you steal closer, listening in on his conversations with his comrades, his friends. You learn their names, their personalities and while they become more human in your eyes, their images are still blurry in your mind’s eye; you are not yet foolish enough to get close enough to get a good look at their faces. You are not yet foolish enough to delude yourself into thinking of them as friends. 

One evening, at the camp you hear the scantily clad woman— Kainé, very, very loudly announce that she is going ‘to go take a piss.’ The talking book— Weiss, complains loudly about her crudeness, disgusted, as he always is, with her choice of language. She scoffs, dismissing him with a wave before walking away. 

Walking toward you.

You scamper away, running toward a large, nearby bush and hiding within. She shouldn’t see you, or at least you hope she won’t. She approaches another bush and you look away, respecting her privacy as much as you can.

“Come out, I know you’re there.”

Her voice is a low growl, and you think she can’t possibly be talking to you. While your observations have led you to believe that there is a soft core to her brash outer exterior, there is little doubt in your mind that, much like the monster of a man, Kainé would slaughter you on sight. 

“Hurry up, I don’t have all fuckin’ night.” She stomps over to your bush, and you’re sure she can’t see you, but still she leans in and whispers, her voice both seductive and violent, “Or if you want, I can just end your miserable existence right damn here.”

Instinct takes over and you run out of the bush, away from her. 

“There you are, you little fucker,” she snorts. You back away slowly, as she straightens herself out. Kainé eyes you like a bug, one that she is about to crush beneath the heel of her shoe. You swallow thickly, unsure if you should try to run or not. The only thing you are sure of is that if you do run, you’re dead. 

“So, why’ve you been following us, huh?” Kainé demands, arms crossed over her chest, frowning. She must know that she could kill you in an instant, must know that you couldn’t lay a finger on her if you tried to attack her. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed a fucking shade like you lurking around us for weeks.”

Shade. That’s what they call you and your people. Shades— condemned to the shadows, unable to live peacefully with the humans, or, as the elders called them, the replicants… whatever that meant. You eye Kainé warily, wondering why she is asking you a question when it is known that humans can’t communicate with shades, can’t converse with them— if they could, then maybe the monster of a man would just be a man, his beautiful hands devoid of the blood of your friends, your neighbors… your mother. 

“Hey!” Kainé shouts. “I’m talking to you, the least you can do is answer.”

She’s right. Even if she can’t understand, she probably can hear the words from your Shade mouth. You take a deep breath and speak for what feels like the first time in an eternity. “...it’s because of… him.”

Your voice sounds so strange in your ears, a sound more foreign than silence itself. Kainé stares at you, scowling like she knows, like she can understand the Shade tongue with which you speak. It’s hard to tell, and you take one, two, three steps closer to look in her eyes, risking your life more and more with each forward step that you take. You’ve read that the eyes are the window to the soul, so maybe if you can see them clearly, you’ll be able to tell, to know, if she really, really understands.

Fortunately for you, Kainé doesn’t move, nor does she speak, but still you hear a voice— not hers, erupt in a manic fit of laughter from her body. Her scowl deepens, clearly annoyed, but it seems that it’s not directed at you. 

“How cute, the little shade has a crush!” the voice howls, mocking you.

Your face scrunches in bewilderment. The source of the voice… is Kainé herself, but she is clearly not speaking…  You shake your head. No, that’s not right. This isn’t a crush, this isn’t infatuation, it’s merely curiosity. “No… that’s not… that’s right. I’m just… I just…”

The laughter grows louder, more derisive, “Oh don’t fucking delude yourself. You’ve been stalking after us for how long? It’s frankly kinda gross if you ask me!”

Kainé mutters something under her breath that you can’t hear, presumably at the mysterious voice making a mockery of you. 

Your stomach churns violently, a grotesque concoction of fear and unease. He’s not wrong though. It is kind of gross how you’ve been following this group around like a pathetic puppy. Watching them at a distance, wanting to get closer, to satiate your curiosity, yet staying far away because that’s the only way you can coexist with the monster and his friends. 

You think of the monster, terrible and cruel in his extermination of your people, the Shades. You think of the man, gentle and kind as he tends to the flowers by his house. The images in your mind overlap. Terrible and gentle. Kind and cruel. The images blur. 

You can only see the smile he’s offered to his friends. 

It’s all you have left now, and you don’t know what to do with yourself.

You are not one of his friends, the image of his smile is something you’ve stolen, held in the shadows, kept like a treasure— a secret that should have never been yours.

In fact, it never was.

“Hey Kainé?” A third voice enters the fray and you feel as if you have been drenched in ice water, thrust into the icy depths of the ocean, your entire body freezing over. “You’ve been taking a while, Emil and I were—”

He stops short. You know it’s because he sees you. 

Don't go near it.

Don't, if you value your life.

Everything happens so fast, before you can run, before you can even blink. The spear that was affixed to his back is now in his hands, its tip embedded deep into your abdomen. The pain is mind shattering as it spreads throughout your body, like a wildfire in a forest. 

The monster is close, closer than he has ever been, than he ever will be, the view of his face clear, and unmarred by distance. He is devoid of expression as he draws even closer, plunging the spear impossibly deeper into your fracturing body. Rather than the pain, you focus what attention you have left on his face. 

It’s what you wanted, to get a better look at his face before meeting your inevitable end. 

But now that you’re here, you realize, regretfully, that you maybe want a little bit more. 

You want to live in another land, another time, another place, where you’re not just a Shade and you can have a happy ending. 

With what sense you have left, you focus on his eyes. They’re clear, and blue as the sky on a cloudless day. As your consciousness ebbs away, fading rapidly from existence, you distantly think that at least the last thing you get to see is breathtakingly beautiful. It would have been nice, if you had had longer to enjoy it.

You have nothing left.

You are nothing but a bloodstain on the monster’s spear. 

[nine-of-words]

Something Borrowed (Part Four)

M Gargoyle x M Reader

PREVIOUS || STORY TAG || NEXT

Wordcount: 6344

Content Warnings: Discussion of a Breakup/Divorce

A bit of a longer one. This story seems to have a tendency to just keep expanding as I write- which probably isn’t a bad thing.

Saturday. 

It'll be a bit busy later today, so you're in the shop a little before open, piping the back-up batches of your most popular cupcake flavors. You have a cake to finish decorating, and batters to cook off, a large catering order to assemble around ten, and then later today, back to back tastings…

You sigh. You love your job. But you can't help feel a twinge of loneliness on the days that Kirby isn't here, now. Especially when you probably won't be seeing Carlyle until Tuesday…

You're probably being a little selfish. They deserve time off, too…

That's why you’re all the more ecstatic to see Carlyle’s name come across the online queue about an hour after open.

No cutlery set this time. He has ordered cupcakes- but strangely, it's a full dozen- double the size of the usual order, and no lemon meringue in sight.

Maybe it's for a different group, you reason, and select the cupcakes for the order. You find yourself humming as you work, your gloomy attitude chased away now that you have a visitor to look forward to. You even manage to sneak upstairs and set his coffee to brew between pops of activity, despite it being a busy weekend morning.

Finally, his name is next in the pickup queue. You pull out a slice of an angel food bundt you have sliced in the case, since you didn't have time to make anything especially for him. Then you quickly pop upstairs, trying to rush back down without spilling hot coffee everywhere. 

You nearly spill the coffee anyway, when you look up and are shaken by the sight in front of you.

This person looks like Carlyle, at least in general form. The features you can see are all the same, from his brows to his flat nose to his swaying spaded tail. His color palette- the rich brown of his hair, the smooth beige of his stoneskin, and rosy pinks of his horns is the same. Everything's there where it's supposed to be. Even the little divots in the stone- though you can't be sure they're in the exact same spot.

But everything else is just wrong.

He's wearing a sleeveless, cropped hoodie for one thing, the arms ripped out to expose the sculpted muscle on his sides.

…Was Carlyle always this ripped? You don't seem to remember him looking quite so built underneath his button-up the one day in the shop that he removed his jacket.

Moreover, this man looks like he's peeled himself off the floor of a nightclub or frat house and wandered into your shop. His clothes, revealing enough as there are, are crumpled and stained, compared to the usual crisp press of his suits. A single paper steamer clings to his shoulder.

Even his hair is a puff of loose, wild, textured curls jutting out from under his hood, instead of the neat, slender dreadlocks you're used to seeing on him.

You can smell the stale beer from here. Between that, the dark sunglasses he's wearing, as his general demeanor, you know a hangover when you see one.

Perhaps most shockingly, there is gold, glittery body paint slathered liberally all over the exposed parts of his body- his shoulders, his abs, and the peek of his chest from the ripped neckline, all shimmering in the fluorescent lighting of your shop.

This doesn't look like the Carlyle you've come to know at all- but somehow, also looks just like him.

Is he okay? …Are you okay?

You vaguely wonder if you've finally lost it, or if you're having some sort of episode and need to go to the hospital. 

You finally manage to overcome your petrification as the customer service instincts kick in. You carefully set the mug down on the counter, to an unexpected lack of response from him- usually he'd eagerly take the mug straight from your hands, if he's present to do so.

"Ah, um… Are you here to pickup, maybe…?" 

Would it be rude to ask what happened?

"Yeah, uuhhh, M-" He stumbles over his words, then his mouth pulls into a familiar wry grin. "I mean- Carlyle?"

"Sure. Looks like you paid already, so you're all squared away…" You fight the slight sensation of perverse deja vu as you say the words and slide the boxes across the counter towards him.

"Heheh- sick. Thanks, dude." He grabs the boxes and piles them balanced on one arm, his bicep flexing in what you would describe as a picturesque manner.

Sick? …Dude? Dude???

This guy sounds more like Trevor than Carlyle at this point!

Is he playing some sort of game? A weird prank?

He hasn't even said anything that's made your heart flutter once during this interaction!

"That's, um... That's all?” You look pointedly at his supposedly favorite coffee mug and the forlorn slice of cake on the counter, 

“Oh yuck, nah man. I hate coffee.” He literally wretches at the mention of it. “Had a coffee flavored energy drink one time though. That was super good, hahah.”

What… is happening???

“You don't want… anything else?" You ask, anxiously fiddling with your shirt collar as you lean against the counter. 

"Uhh…"

His free hand lowers the dark shades, and his eyes dart up to the chalkboard momentarily then back down at you. In his assessment, you can see the same warm, dark brown eyes you're used to peering over the dark sunglasses, though they're quite bloodshot compared to normal at the moment.

"Hahah, heeeey, I'm flattered.” He winks. “But sorry dude, you're not really my type."

With that, he pushes his sunglasses back up the bridge of his nose as he turns to leave, still holding the boxes in one arm.

You're left behind the counter, psyche moments away from shattering into pieces as the bell jingles cruelly.

Normally, something like that would destroy what remains of your fragile self-confidence. But not this time- your brain refuses to accept the conflicting information.

That's it. That can't be him.

You power through the rest of your day, powered on confusion and spite. When things finally wind down, you stand alone in your quiet shop, wondering how you should go about this. 

What can you even do? You don't have his number.

…Should you tell Kirby about this?

It seems so stupid to bother them with something like this. But what if whatever is going on here is somehow related?

You finally bury your nerves and type out the message, deciding it’s better to ask and bother them, than to not mention anything.

< something weird happened today

< but I don’t know if it’s weird enough to mention

You wait for a few moments, and when you don’t get an immediate response, sigh, put your device down, and get back to closing up shop.

It only takes a few minutes for your device to start ringing. You hurriedly clean your hands and pick up the call.

"Hey! What happened???" You hear Kirby's familiar voice, raised to carry over whatever the pervasive background noise on their end is.

"Are you sure now's a good time?" You ask, giving them an out if they want one. "I'm not sure if it's anything important."

"Tell me, tell me!"

You tell them. They giggle.

"You don't have to laugh. I feel like enough of a fool already."

"Sorry, hehe!! Good news is, I don't think it's curse related!"

"What is it then, you think?" You sigh.

"Well, your dream man's a gargoyle, right? That was probably his twin!"

"Twin?" You're not an expert on gargoyle biology, but you do know some basic facts; foremost of which being that gargoyles are born in twin sets, one of each binary sex. "Wouldn't it have been a woman, then…?"

"Not necessarily," There's a loud noise that sounds suspiciously like cheering on the other end before they continue. "Could have a trans brother."

"Oh," You laugh, embarrassed to have not thought of it. You didn't have much exposure to that sort of thing back home, in your tiny farming village that didn’t even contain any other queer men- at least any that were open or vocal about it. Even after living in this new city for years, it's still not the first place your mind goes. "Right."

"Or could be an older or younger brother, from a different set." They say thoughtfully. "But if he looked just like him, I'd wager a bet that's his twin!"

“Okay.” You let out a relieved sigh, rubbing your neck. 

“Listen, if you’re still unsure about it- You said he hangs around the law library in the evenings, right? Windrise City Law & Ley Archives? The one attached to the courthouse?”

“Yes…” You confirm, unsure what that has to do with this.

“Well, I happen to have the ID to get into there~ And a reason to go there, anyway, related to your case! So… if I went there on Monday evening… when your shop is closed… and you wanted to tag along…”

“You want me to come with you…? Why?”

“Yes! To snoop. Duh!” They laugh. “If he’s always there on weeknights, we could go by there and see if he’s his normal self, right?”

“Oh, that’d be grand!” You say, encouraged by the idea of confirming that the ‘Carlyle’ you encountered wasn’t really him. “But isn’t that… a bit nosy…?’

“Hah, yes, and it’s kind of my job to be nosy!! It’s called investigating, sweetie!! I’ve got you covered!”

“Thanks a lot, Kirby. I really appreciate all of your help.” You say, hoping you sound as genuine as you feel.

“Awww!! Don’t worry about it!! I’ll see you on Monday evening and we’ll get to the bottom of things!”

You say goodbye and hang up, getting back to finishing your tasks so you can enjoy your days off.

You still spend your entire Sunday worrying about your plans on Monday, and about if you’ll see the Carlyle you’ve grown so fond of there- Or ever again. You try to distract yourself with chores or watching your programs, but nothing seems to take your mind off of it.

Eventually, the time comes. You arrive at the metro station early, standing around awkwardly and staring at your voci at the agreed upon meeting point, until you finally hear the shrill voice and clattering footsteps you’ve been expecting.

“Heeeeey! There you are!!” Kirby’s bright hair and fluffy ears bounce  around their head as they all but run up to you. “It’s kind of weird seeing you outside of the shop!!”

They’re dressed more casually than normal, but no less snappy; in a sleeveless turtleneck and black jeans instead of their button-up, slacks and vest. Their bolo tie, which you’ve since learned is their magical focus, is still hanging around their neck.

“Weird…?” Your heart drops into your stomach for a moment, thinking one of the only people you’ve made a meaningful connection with since crawling out of your emotional abyss might actually find your company unpalatable.

“Good weird!” They laugh, just as the train arrives. They pull you aboard with them just as soon as the doors open. 

You spend nearly the entire commute to the courthouse chatting happily, to the point that you forget that you’re indeed on a very serious, very real mission.

“Alright! So, we’ll go in. I need to find a specific reference book on the first floor, but from what you’ve told me, your guy is probably on the third floor. You should go up there first.” You catch a bit of whiplash, hearing the stark difference between Kirby’s usual bubbly inflection, and whatever hardened professional is speaking through them as if they were a puppet. You had nearly forgotten that Kirby is, quite literally, a professional. “While you’re looking for him, try to look like you’re actually looking for a book, so no one questions why you’re up there. I’ll be up to provide backup as soon as I get the book I need.”

You nod along, trying to not let your intimidation shine through on your features.

“You think you can handle that?”

“Yes… I hope.”

“You’ll do great! You always dress sharp anyway, so you’ll blend in fine!” They gesture to your spotless clothing. “Worst thing that’ll happen is they’ll throw you out of the library, haha!!”

You force a thin smile. That’s not nearly as comforting as they seem to think it is.

The courthouse is a sleeping stone behemoth of a building at this hour of the evening. The archives attached to it still light up its side, various official types still making use of the facility long after office hours. As you try to keep pace going up the many stone steps- quite a task as, your companion possesses legs designed to scale stony surfaces- you can’t help but feel a bit intimidated.

After smoothly getting into the building, you manage to get through the security check with Kirby’s ID. They are chatting in their typical chipper, extroverted nature with the staff as you’re checked for mundane or magical explosives. An unimpressed Mana Bureau guard slaps a large sticker reading GUEST onto the breast of your shirt, and then you’re free to enter the cavernous gullet of the building.

“Try not to get lost, okay?” Kirby calls out with a wave, their voice trailing off as they beeline towards a wing on the left. “See you in a bit~”

You force your jellied legs to start moving, so as to not stand out like a sore thumb standing in the middle of the place, already lost. You ride the only slightly nauseating glass elevator up to the 3rd floor.

Right. Just look natural. Keep an eye out for Carlyle… but look natural. You’re definitely just looking for a book… Nothing to see here.

You make your way along what feels like countless shelves, the atmosphere in this place almost oppressive in just how silent it is. The calmness is a bit suffocating when it’s muddling together with your anxious sense that you don't belong. 

Every single lawyer or law student you come across in your search seems to be looking at you with scorn as you peek down a shared aisle or glance around the corner of a shelf towards the desks they’re seated at.

You swallow dryly. You’re probably just imagining it. 

Right?

After several very natural and not at all suspicious canvassing of aisles, you soon realize that they’re all starting to visually blend together. Have you looked down this one yet…? 

You may be in over your head. 

This place is like a bloody maze…!

I’m never going to find him in all this, even if he is here…

Finally, you stop mid-aisle in front of one of the more secluded labyrinthine shelves to calm your breathing. But just as you’ve taken some much needed deep breaths, you hear the small sounds of someone approaching; papers rustling, nice shoes against the plush carpet, fabric brushing against itself. The small sorts of sounds you could only hear in such a silent place as this.

Hastily, you select a random thick tome from the shelf, and pretend to read it, so whatever very important library patron you’re about to cross paths with doesn’t raise an eyebrow at your presence, and simply lets you be. Just until you stop feeling like you’re going to throw up from the sheer nerves…

“Hey.”

Looking up from your very detailed reading, you see a familiar gargoyle man in a familiar fine suit standing at the end of the aisle. He walks over to you without hesitation, hands in his pockets, stopping barely short of invading your personal space.

“H-Hey-” You squeak in return. The person who you’ve been yearning to see again this whole time is finally right here, within touching distance, and you suddenly can’t find the courage to speak to him.

“I’m surprised to see you here this evening.” He smiles at you. “Or any evening, really.”

“Oh, you know. I… fancied a spot of light reading. As one does.” You fumble your words, trying to look like you were indeed reading this book and not hyperventilating into it a few moments ago.

“I didn’t realize you had a vested interest in agricultural law.” He says, mercifully carrying the entire weight of this conversation himself.

“Oh! Yes. Um,” You cringe and keep speaking, feeling blood rush to your face in sheer mortification.  “I love… agriculture. …And… law.”

“Is that so? All of that, and baking? Multi-faceted. I’m impressed.”

“Y-Yeah, my home village is famous for it’s, uh…” You continue to dig yourself deeper into your shameful grave, which you’re going to need since the sly little compliments are starting to make you feel like you’re going to expire any moment. You’re so embarrassed you’re blanking on your home village’s main export despite seeing the crops basically every day as a child. “…Fields…? All legally compliant, of course.”

You almost wish you could sink into the shelves behind you and melt away, but you’re just so damn happy to see him, the real him, that you don’t think you’d choose to disappear even if you could.

“You really must be interested, to be reading this dusty old tome from every angle- Literally.” Carlyle says, voice brimming with amusement. He gently takes the aged book from you, turning it rightside up and replacing it between your hands. “Talk about wanting to know the source material inside and out…”

“Hahah, hah… hah.” You laugh awkwardly and snap the book closed, then quickly return it to the wide gap it left on the shelf to hide your shame. “Hah. I, um… I’ve never been here before. I mean. I’ve been to a library before- just. Not this one.”

“Well then, you must be looking for something specific, if you’re here.” His voice is warm, the tone a welcome sound on your ears after how stressful this experience has been. “Anything I can help you with, maybe?”

“...Would it be so terrible if I said I was here looking for you?” You manage to look at him despite the crushing embarrassment, still fiddling with the spine of the book you just reshelved.

“Not at all.” The warm glow of the overhead lights glinting off his wide canines, making you wonder what they’d feel like pressed against the soft skin of your neck. His dark eyes almost glitter in mirth. “Though, it may inflate my ego.”

He leans ever so slightly closer, hovering over you at this point. This is by far the closest he’s ever physically been to you before; not a counter, or a tabletop in sight separating you. You can smell the lingering, warm base note of his cologne.

Your heart is about to beat out of your chest.

“Hah- I’m so glad you’re you,” You blurt out in joy. You find yourself laughing to break the tension, and slicking back the loose strands of your hair that have fallen down into your face. “And don’t just look like you.”

Carlyle backs off and straightens up, still smiling, but now with a cocked eyebrow. The playful, yet intense air of heady flirting dissipates into a more friendly, inquisitive one.

“Thank you. That’s… an interesting compliment.” He observes, adjusting his pink striped tie. “Not exactly the kind of compliment one gives unprompted.”

“It’s um, because… Someone who looks uncannily like you came into my shop on Saturday for a huge cupcake order. But they didn’t act like you at all.”

The gargoyle man’s expression, for lack of a less fitting description, goes completely stony, suddenly very unamused.

“What did he say?” He inquires, his affect completely flat.

“Um, I mean, he was polite enough, but he definitely wasn’t you.” You say, trying to give the stranger the benefit of the doubt, but Carlyle waits expectantly for you to say something more incriminating. “... He might’ve said that I wasn’t your- er, well, his type…”

Carlyle grimaces, and pinches his glabella between forefinger and thumb, slowly letting out a long breath. His tail whips behind him in annoyance.

Then, his countenance is back to its usual even, calm state as he speaks to you, pressing his hand to his suit jacket breast for emphasis.

“I assure you, whatever he said doesn’t speak to how I feel on the matter.”

You can’t help but break out in a stupidly wide, bashful grin.

Carlyle dips his hand into his suit and pulls out his device, and after a moment of unlocking and scrolling, hands it to you.

On the screen is a picture of Carlyle and the man that looks just like him that you encountered at the shop the other day, grinning with his arm slung over Carlyle’s shoulder, both of them grinning that same bright grin. You recognize him immediately, even without the dark sunglasses. 

The base of their features is identical, but their personal styles clearly couldn’t be more different. 

“Did he look like this?”

“Yeah, that’s him.” You confirm.

“My twin brother, Markus. Younger twin brother.” He says, and despite the clear irritated tone, you can also detect quite a bit of affection in his voice. “He just moved in with me. He was living with my folks, but like I mentioned last time we met, they sold the house- so he’s with me for the moment.”

“He seems fun.” You say.

“He can be. It depends on how you define fun.” He adds with a bark of a laugh; “I would say he’s not as insufferable as whatever he happened to show you, but I wouldn’t want to lie to you.”

“Hahah- You know, the more I think about it, it was silly of me to think you were the same person. The difference is very obvious… But the order did come up under your name, though.”

“Idiot lost his bank card in the move.” Carlyle sighs, his eyes rolling upwards. “He’s using one of mine while he waits for the new one to arrive- I didn’t realize he’d be buying cupcakes with it, or I might’ve thought to warn you.”

You laugh, about to hand him his device back, but seeing it in your hand reminds you of an important oversight that needs addressing.

“Carlyle, Do… Do you perhaps want my number?” You almost chicken out, but force yourself to ask with an awkward laugh. “I feel like you should have my number by now.”

“Oh, thank the Spirits. I would love that.” He lets out a puff of air, his brows furrowing. “I’ve wanted to ask for some time now, but the prospect of asking you at work… It felt like crossing a boundary. And I only see you at work.” 

“Oh no, you were waiting on me?” You bring a hand to your face for comfort. Maybe you should’ve been more forward, after all. “Sorry…”

“No need to apologize.” Carlyle reassures you. “I’m very pleased you asked.”

You put your number into his device while you still have it in your hands, then hand it back to him.

“I think this is the first time we’ve met that I don’t have anything sweet for you to try.” You laugh.

“There’s always our regular time tomorrow.” Carlyle checks the screen for the time before slipping his device back into his inside breast pocket of his suit jacket. “I would love to chat for longer, but I have some tasks to finish up before it gets too late.”

“I, uh… Do you mind showing me back to the entrance…?” You ask sheepishly.

“Of course not.”

Carlyle escorts you back to the open area with the glass elevator.

“There you are!” Kirby finally appears as you arrive, holding a book that looks like it must weigh at least as much as a cinderblock. “This must be Carlyle!”

“Oh, I guess my reputation precedes me?”

“Oh yeah, buddy. I might as well know you already, myself, hahah!” They say glibly, seeming to have no regard for how embarrassing that is to just say out loud, and handing the gargoyle their card. “You can call me Kirby.”

“Ah, a Bureau cursebreaker.” Carlyle glances at you. ”That explains how you have the clearance, then.”

In what must be some sort of esoteric corporate social custom completely foreign to you, Carlyle produces his own card from the same breast pocket as his voci, and gives it to Kirby in exchange.

“Wowie! Geas speciality, huh? Don’t see that every day, but it makes sense for a lawyer!”

The completely othering experience of watching two magically gifted people talking about their powers would make you feel a tad left out, probably, if it wasn’t making you so happy to see your two new favorite people finally interacting.

“We should go before they kick me out for being loud, hehe! It wouldn’t be the first time!” Kirby laughs with a toss of their hair and motions towards the elevator.

Soon enough, you’re back on your train home.

"He's cute! I can see why you like him!!" Kirby grins at you as you settle into the glaring, rusty orange seats. "Wouldn't have pegged you as being into a guy with multiple divorces, though- that’s a bit of a surprise!"

"Divorces?" You peel the GUEST sticker from your shirt, befuddled. "How can you tell something like that from him saying a few sentences?"

"Gargoyles do the whole horn thing!” They motion to their own spiral horns for emphasis.

“...Horn thing?” 

“Oof. Sorry, I forget there’s barely anything but Numen where you’re from. Yeah, they have this marriage custom where they break off their horn tips to use as betrothal jewelry." Kirby clearly cringes at the idea of theirs getting broken. "Buuuuut as you know, sometimes life happens- and when it doesn't work out, they can get ‘em magically resealed, or wear replacement jewelry. And those gold bands on his horns? He's got falsies! 

"Oh." You find it a bit odd he'd mention his parents divorce before any of his own, if he had them. Ultimately, though, even if it's true, you don't think you care. After a few moments of thought, you add: "I don't mind. I might as well be divorced myself, so I can't really judge."

“Hehehe, that’s the spirit!!” Kirby giggles. "I just wanted to tell you, in case you didn't know~"

"Thanks for looking out for me." You smile genuinely, leaning back against the seat. "Dunno what I'd do without you."

Even with those words of caution, you feel lighter than you have in months the whole train ride home, then as you walk up the back stairs that go straight to your upstairs flat, and then still as you go through your nightly routine as you get ready for bed. 

The normal grip of fear and dread that would settle in as a dark, heavy weight on your chest as you went through the motions alone doesn’t seem to ever arrive this particular night. It still hasn’t arrived when you get a goodnight text from Carlyle.

The fact that he even thought to do that makes you feel a deep sense of warmth bloom in your chest.

You quickly tap out a goodnight message in response- then read it back and rewrite it, then do it all once more- before you finally decide it sounds good enough to send.

You’re still giddy, heart still racing as your head hits the pink silk pillowcase.

How are you going to sleep like this?

You somehow manage to, and go on to run the shop the next day as normal.

Today, you don’t struggle with ideas for what to bake Carlyle at all, this time a stream of ideas having flooded your head while you laid in bed trying to sleep last night.

You’re going to try your hand at a mixed spiced biscotti; you reason that it won’t be too sweet nor too heavy, but still flavorful enough to be something he can enjoy. It should pair exceptionally well with coffee. Plus, with the autumn quarter fast approaching, they’ll probably sell out of the display case fairly quickly.

After the tail end of your normal midday rush, you're just starting to frost a customer's wedding cake when Devin comes in to pick up her cupcake order, absolutely beaming and radiant, a pure ray of sunshine.

“Hey! Oooh, you’re never going to guess what happened yesterday!” Her whole body seems to vibrate in excitement, making her large, dangling earrings jingle. She finally calms herself enough to hold her hand out over the counter, still trembling but still enough to show you the almost obnoxiously gemstone-encrusted band on her ring finger.

“Oh! Would you look at that…” Seeing the ring makes it obvious what happened, and a familiar twinge of sadness plucks at your chest.

“Yep! Pookie asked me to marry him!” She lets out a tiny, half-volume noise between a sigh and squeal.

“Wow, congratulations!” You say, forcing yourself to sound genuine. “I’m so happy for you!”

It’s not like you aren’t happy for her, because you are- but you wish you could be happier for her, without the emotional baggage you carry now around anything to do with weddings and engagements. It’s difficult not to fall into the usual pit of despair and dwell on the wedding you didn’t get to have when you’re constantly reminded of it through your job.

It’s gotten somewhat easier now, to do tastings and to make wedding cakes; nothing like how excruciating the first few months after your break up were. But, it’s still a struggle. At least those people are strangers. It seems it’s a bit more of a raw nerve when it’s a familiar acquaintance…

“Oh, thank you… I never really thought people were serious when they said it felt like a dream come true,” She says in her typical spacey intonation. “But it really does feel like a dream, y'know?”

“Mhmm. It’s a beautiful bunch of stones.” You place the pink paper box with her order inside on the counter, silently willing the conversation to end as soon as possible. You only have the strength to endure so much. "I'm sure you'll be very happy together."

“I think so too!! And I was wondering… oh, it’s sort of early maybe… but I was hoping since we love your cupcakes so much, we could hire you to bake our wedding cake? It would make us both so happy.”

“Oh, of course.” You nod, keeping the service smile plastered on your face through the internal desire to grimace, and pull up your schedule. “I’d be thrilled. Do you have a date set yet?”

“Yes! September 8th.”

“Ah, that soon? That’s only three months away…” You furrow your brow and chew your bottom lip in thought. “I’d need to fit you in somewhere in the next month, but my schedule for tastings is full up for the next six weeks.”

“Oh…” Devin’s expression falls, and she might as well crumple in front of you. She looks like an elvish sighthound someone left out in the rain.

Please don’t cry in my store, please don’t cry in my store-

“Hey, listen-" You say in a soothing voice, quickly flying into your typical technique for calming emotional customers in your shop. "I think I can make an exception for you and fit you in on a day I don’t normally do tastings. Since we’re neighbors.”

“Oh, Oh! That’d be perfect! That’s so kind of you.” She beams once again, clasping her hands together. “You’re such a good friend!”

Friend? I guess we are friends at this point…?

“How does Friday evening sound? Right after close.”

“Great! Oh, I’m so excited! Pookie will be so excited too!” The bangles on her wrists clink together as she finally picks up her order box. “And expect an invite, of course!”

You finish with the scheduling and pleasantries, and then Devin takes her order out the door with her, an even more brilliant, rosy shine to her as she came in with. 

You heave a massive sigh, relieved your shop is left devoid of customers for the moment, and pick up your offset spatula, slathering frosting on the cake you're working on and spreading it, until some of the emotional anguish and torment starts to alleviate. 

At least baking always makes you feel better. You can always rely on it to be a balm for your soul.

Luckily, you're not alone this time as that creeping, dark feeling starts to settle in.

As soon as Kirby is done with their call and dispels their silence bubble, you think you’ll need a bit of a vent session…

Later that evening, you have Carlyle’s mug of coffee and a meticulously plated pair of biscotti ready and waiting, laid out next to the order for the Ladies. This time you even got a courtesy text telling you when he got off the train and would be there in a few minutes. Everything has been going as you expect it to.

Carlyle arrives, visible walking past the storefront windows on the left side on the way to the door, as always.

What you didn't expect was for Carlyle to be holding a bouquet of pink roses in his hand.

"Ohh, got yourself a hot date later, have you?" You tease as the jingling of the bell above the door fades.

They can't be for you. …Right? There's no way, not with a curse hanging over your head. So may as well let yourself down easy with some humor.

"Not yet, but I'm hoping to have one this weekend." He smirks at you and extends the bouquet across the counter to you when he arrives there. "If you'd be willing to join me."

"Pfft-" You're so taken aback by the idea that Carlyle is actually interested in you that you end up scoffing a bit before being struck completely silent as the reality of yes those are indeed for you sets in. Your hands shoot up to cover your mouth in a steeple, and you barely manage to audibly speak through your fingers. “...Oh, you’re serious.”

“Of course I’m serious,” Carlyle laughs incredulously, still holding the flowers aloft. “Why would I bring you these if I wasn’t?”

“So, you, uh… like me?” Your eyes finally dart from the flowers to Carlyle’s eyes. He looks serious, but it’s just so hard to believe.

“Yes. What’s not to like?” His lips twist into a smirk. “And I’d like to get to know you better.”

Time stops. You feel like you could die on the spot. 

Is this really happening?

You were convinced that because of your curse, no one was going to show interest in you ever again. You thought that this was all just playful flirting that wouldn’t go anywhere, even if on some level you were desperately hoping it would…

“Er, do I have the wrong idea…?” Carlyle’s brows furrow in concern, and he motions between the two of you with his free hand, before it raises to pat down his dreadlocks anxiously. It might be the first true break in his even, calm exterior that you’ve ever seen. “I waited until I was beyond sure there was something going on here… But if you don’t want these, you don’t have to take them and I’ll… probably go crawl in a hole in shame and never come out again, honestly? Yeah, that sounds good-”

Oh, stupid you. Stupid.

“No! No- I mean, yes! Yes, absolutely. They’re gorgeous, of course I want them!” Your body finally obediently moves, both hands jerking up to take the slightly unwieldy bouquet from him. “I want the date too, if you’ll still have me.”

“Hahah- I’m glad. I will.” Carlyle chuckles, leaning in and lowering his hand to flatten his palm on the counter. “But Spirits, did you have to give me a cardio workout first?”

“Sorry, sorry.” You laugh pitifully in response, hiding your quickly flustering expression and heated skin in the cloud of blooms. “Let me just find something to put these in-”

“How about this Friday?”

“Friday-” You try not to drop the glass vase in your hand in your excitement and hands trembling ever so slightly. “Friday is good. I just scheduled a tasting though, so it’ll have to be a wee bit later than usual.”

“How about 5PM, then? I can send you the address for the place I have in mind for dinner.”

“Oh, that sounds lovely.”

Once you’ve gotten the flowers sorted and set in a tall vase on the counter, you finally turn your attention back to the task at hand.

“I.. made biscotti.” You state and motion to them, awkward and dry mouthed, like you’ve forgotten even the most basic of social skills.

“I can see that.” Carlyle says in approval as he picks one off the plate, taking in the scent before he takes a nibble. “They smell heavenly.”

“Thank you.” You say, so flustered and smitten that it’s difficult to bring yourself to say much of anything of consequence.

“These are… inoffensive. A bit hard and dry for me to really like, but the flavor is spot on.” He immediately submerges the biscotto in coffee before he takes another bite, thinking as he chews. “I think… you’re very close. The specific ratio of spices is perfect. It almost tastes like licorice, and I love licorice.”

“Ah- Star anise.” You explain, mentally jotting down that note for later.

You could not possibly care less if your experiment this week succeeded or failed as you look at the fresh flowers sitting in place of honor on your counter, the warmth in your chest hard to ignore.

“How did you know I like pink roses? Most people would go with red, I’d think…” You wonder aloud as you gently touch the edge of one of the petals.

Carlyle shakes his head slightly and his smile widens, motioning to the entirety of your shop with the hand not holding his coffee mug

“Hahah- I took a guess.”

>> ✨ MASTERLIST >> ☕ KO-FI

[fieldsofview]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

I got tagged by the absolutely lovely @sarah-sandwich Thank you!!

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

17 :)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

157,867 (2/3 of that is SMH hahaha)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

atm all my WIPs and upcoming fic ideas are Spidey related, but I used to write a lot for MLB and OL:BA (and A:TLA back on ffn in hs but we don't talk about the dark ages hahaha)

4. top five fics by kudos:

Under The Moonlight - OL:BA smutty oneshot of what should have happened after the charity ball scene 😳

Crushtomer - MLB coffee shop AU one-shot with Barista!Adrien and Overworked Uni Student!Marinette (heavily inspired by my barista days in College, when I was writing this) ☕

King Agreste - a MLB AU oneshot inspired by the Grimm fairy tale Allerleirauh "all-kinds-of-fur" 🏰

You Said You Loved Me - an MLB kwami swap identity reveal wip i never finished and probably never will sorry 😬

Spider-Man: Homesickness - My take on what the MCU Spidey's life could be like 5 years post: No Way Home and his journey into letting people back into his life and not being so alone (My CURRENT BABY and WIP that I'm ALMOST DONE WITH - it's so fucking long alskdhasasjdkhksdjhfkfh my hope is that it ends up in the no. 1 spot someday when it's complete) 🕸️

5. do you respond to comments?

So I didn't always, but nowadays I try really hard to respond to every comment thread at least, even if I don't always have the last comment on the thread. I really REALLY appreciate each and every comment and I actually often re-read them when I'm feeling insecure in my writing (is that cringe? maybe lol but it's true)

6. what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending?

Definitely The Beauty of Green. 268-word OL: BA drabble that smacks you out of nowhere in the last two sentences. I never write things that short anymore but it just worked

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A lot of my one-shots back when I was writing for MLB like 5 years ago have happy endings. I prefer more *complicated* endings now, but a genuinely happy ending can be nice too. May I present Drops in a Pond for consideration though? Not traditionally fluffy or sweet, but I like to think it's a soft and hopeful kind of ending.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I haven't yet. I think I'm too small of a creator to get hate lol

9. do you write smut?

I've posted one smut fic before, Under the Moonlight, listed above. It's my top-rated fic so I guess I know a little of what I'm doing. OH and my side-wip I'm working on when SMH is too angsty for me is all fluff and kinky Parkner smut and I'm so excited to post that someday when SMH is fully out and done.

10. craziest crossover:

I haven't written any crossovers, unless you count pulling from marvel canon across different adaptations to make SMH (it's got Gwen and Harry and Miles even though they're not in the MCU 19999 as of now). But I used to write a lot of aus

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would be so honored if someone did! I once had a full conversation in the comments with someone in another language by using Google Translate and that was fun!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

I think my writing process would be a little too unconventional to co-write with someone unless we were trading chapters and perspectives. I go back and edit my drafts a lot as I move forward and I would be too tempted to edit their writing too, which feels mean...

14. all time favorite ship?

I LITERALLY CAN NOT PICK DO NOT DO THIS TO ME!!!!! I will be a multi-shipper until the day I die, in basically every fandom.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have an idea for a series of long fics making an MCU HS AU inspired by Degrassi, but I think it would be just too many hours and too many words that I won't ever commit to. I love a good HS AU every now and again, but I feel like a lot of people (across fandoms with hs aus tbh) write the characters as if they already have a lot of the canon quirks the characters have as adults. I would want to write them truly as their HS selves, acting like real teenagers and all the dumb shit teens do, as the reader follows along on the journey of their growing up.

16. what are your writing strengths?

I think I really like detail and trying to portray a level of reality with the characters, even in more fantastical settings. I want the character's choices and motivations to be both complex and clear to the reader, even when they're making choices that the reader disagrees with. I also think this is a skill that is more and more prevalent in my recent writing, so my earlier MLB stuff doesn't have as much of it. My OLBA stuff and now my Spidey stuff though? Yeah.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Staying motivated to finish WIPS. (This is something I've improved a lot on though and at this point, barring some kind of life-or-death calamity in my life, I will absolutely be finishing SMH. I'm literally 120k of a predicted 150k words deep and going strong sooo).

OH ALSO comedy! I'm so bad at writing funny characters and making them actually say things that are both funny and make sense. Sucks when writing Spidey cause he can be such a little shit with his sarcastic comments and each dialogue point takes me 3-5 business weeks to come up with.

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I do it very rarely and only when it feels 100% necessary. I had a small bit in Spanish in ch 6 of SMH because Jeff and Rio were literally talking about Peter right in front of him and he could hear the words they were saying, even if he didn't understand them. But it was very brief.

I did it because the POV character literally didn't understand it, so it made sense to have it written out. In fics where the POV character understands what's being said, I prefer it all be written in the fic's primary language, for reader ease.

19. first fandom you wrote in?

A:TLA, like I said. That was back in the dark ages of my Junior Year of HS on my old ffn account that will never see the light of day again hahaha

20. favorite fic you've written?

Every current WIP has always been my favorite because that is what I'm thinking about. So SMH is definitely my current fave. It's my baby and I've put literally hundreds of hours into it (I keep a spreadsheet lol, it's nearly 150 hours of sheer writing, not including the early days of brainstorming and outlining.)

HOWEVER, back in the day, I was really proud of writing Answer Me and it's literally my lowest-rated fic, but I was such a fan of the genre and the Night Circus inspiration. Plus, I love Alya as a character and it was really fun to write from her perspective.

OH, and I'm still proud of Under the Moonlight because it taught me that my acespec ass can write smut and is also good at it, lol. I just have to write smut that's rooted in ~*~feelings~*~ and also has an element of humanism and imperfection. Which is the type of vibe I'm putting into my side-wip rn.

Thanks for tagging me, Sarah!

no pressure tagging: @seek--rest, @abcd-em, @missamyshay, @pbpsbff

[bekala]

20 Questions for Writers

@noxnthea tagged me so here we are.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 18

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

555,722 more than I expected. It's gonna get higher!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Almost exclusively Marvel, but I have two Sons of Anarchy fics that I brought over from my FanFiction.net account way back when and there's more over there.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Order of Operations (Darcy/Bucky; E), biologically, but not conceptually (Darcy/Bucky; T), Trust in Motion (Darcy/Bucky; M), Lessons in Avoidance: Or How Darcy Lewis Learned to Have Feelings (Darcy/Clint; E), a haunting (Darcy/Bucky; T)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to reply to all of them. Talking to readers in the comments of one of my absolute favorite things about posting fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

An Unsealed Fate (E)

Is an AU one shot Bucky/Clint/Nat based the night before a battle in a world inspired by the show Carnival Row. All the characters are having this bittersweet moment of expressing their love for each other and not saying goodbye as they prepare to fight for freedom at dawn the next day.

“We don’t say goodbye before we part,” Clint continues as his fingers finish the last button and he starts to tug Bucky’s trousers and pants over his hips, “we don’t seal a fate until all other paths are closed to us.” 

“He’s right,” Nat says and when Bucky turns his head again she’s so close he can make out the gold stars around her irises, the only outward sign of the immense power hiding under her skin, “don’t tempt fate. What will come will come but we have now and we’re going to celebrate it with you.”

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Almost everything tends to have happy endings in one way or another! I write fic as an escape so even though I like to let some angst in I like to wrap it up with a happy ending.

That said, the most stereotypical happy ending I have is probably, It's Quite Inconvenient. This is a Darcy/Bucky Regency AU comedy of errors, and it ends on a very happy note!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, fingers crossed it doesn't start! I love my fandom community like crazy!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. The kind I want to read.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I don't know that I've written any crossovers but I've written a number of AUs.

11. Are any of your fics converted into podfics?

No, but I'd be excited about it if they were.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically, but I work so closely with @noxnthea on so many of my fics they might as well be co-written - or at least co-loved/co-plotted/co-agonizedover. The running joke is she's the fairy god-mother (and superstar beta) to everything I put out. I don't think any of it would make it public without her!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know that I could pick.

I love writing Darcy/Bucky.

I'll read almost anything though - I write almost exclusively Marvel but my reading tastes extend well beyond the Marvel fandom.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Too many to talk about.

The one I really think won't ever get finished though is a daemon AU that's got about 50k words and is Clint Barton centric. I love it so much but it just never fell into a strong final plot unfortunately. It's also in present tense, which I don't write anymore so it would be SO hard to pick back up - BUT, god, when I go back and reread it sometimes do I just love it so much.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action sequences, banter, and pacing?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am really trying to work on getting better at complex plot development and suspense. I also want to get better building a more complex vocabulary to improve my diction.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do this. I don't mind when others do it.

I think it's best when done sparingly and with a sensitivity to the fact that you don't speak the language. I prefer when it's done in a way that the dialouge is not important to the scene. Or if it is, I think it's really cool when the translation is provided contextually rather than in notes later on. That said, I've seen it done really well both ways!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tamora Pierce - on an account that doesn't exist anymore. I have been in fanfic for A LONG time. Like, the first fanfic I ever read was printed out and handed to me in the hallway of my middle school when the internet still made screeching noises as it connected.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh, um - I think I've answered this before, but I'd probably have to say: Order of Operations - I am in love with this universe and still writing sequels and follow ups. I think it just came to me during a really difficult time, which is still in progress, and it's become a comfort to just sink into it and share with the community.

It's been so much fun!

tagging -- anyone who sees this and wants to do it!

@shireness-says maybe??

[chocoholicannanymous]

Evil Author Day #3

February 15th is Evil Author Day - you can read more about it on Jilly James’ site, but in short it’s about posting titles or descriptions or parts of stuff that’s not actually ready for posting, the evil part being that there are no promises what so ever that there will be more.

What I’m posting under the EAD-tag either isn’t finished and might never be, or it could be considered finished only I’m not happy with it.

Either way: Enjoy. Or not.

Follows Doesn't Hurt At All, A Little Hurt (Goes A Long Way) and (It Hurts) To Have To Be This Honest With The One You Love.

Posting this one under the EAD-tag as I have never been able to be satisfied with it.

AN: Timelinewise, Kurt goes to London during the first week of April, Adam returns to England first week (or so) of June, and Kurt sends the first email to Adam beginning of August. This takes place about two weeks or so later.

Love Hurts (When You Do it Right)

Part 4 of Doesn't Hurt At All

Kurt picked up his book, read two paragraphs, then put it down again with a sigh. He'd been repeating that process now for close to twenty minutes. He'd also shredded two napkins, rearranged everything on the small table, and finished half a lemonade.

Being early for this meet-up had probably not been one of his brightest ideas.

Then again, it was possible that the meet-up itself wasn't that bright of an idea.

Kurt swallowed, looked at the time, and considered – for at least the tenth time – if it might not be best to cancel. Just...walk away, send Adam an email about being detained, and then never approach the subject again. He could do that, right? After all, it wasn't as if Adam even knew that Kurt was staying in London for the time being – he'd assumed Kurt was on vacation. (Which, admittedly, had been exactly what Kurt had been aiming at. He'd wanted to reduce the pressure on Adam. Maybe he had, but the pressure on himself? Very much present, and very much too much.)

Four minutes until he was supposed to meet Adam for the first time in nearly six months – for the first time since spooking, and refusing to be in a committed relationship. And see how well that worked, with the running back to Blaine and the getting engaged... Kurt ignored the snide inner voice. He'd messed up, and he'd done so repeatedly, and horribly. To leave now would be another mistake, and that's why he was going to stay, no matter how many butterflies seemed to have taken up residence in his stomach.

The seconds ticked by slowly, and a minute past their agreed upon time Kurt's stomach sank. No Adam. Adam, who never was late. Kurt blinked to avoid the tears that wanted to well up, and gave himself a stern talking to. First of all, he didn't really have any reason to be upset – he'd placed himself, and Adam, in this position on his own – and second, well, public transportation could be tricky. Maybe Adam was simply stuck on the Tube?

Either way, he would wait. He'd finish his lemonade, to begin with, and then reassess.

Twenty-four minutes past the hour saw Kurt out of both lemonade and hope. It didn't look like Adam was showing. Still. He'd give it until half past, and then... Then he'd go back to the apartment and cry into a pint of ice cream or something.

(A Long Island Ice Tea or five sounded tempting, but Kurt had learned by now that alcohol acted as a depressant and thus did not make him feel any better. Quite the opposite. Plus, if he drank when already down... Well. “Stupid” was a kind description of his behavior then.)

“Kurt?”

Oh! Kurt looked up, and was met with Adam's kind face. Looks like maybe I won't need that ice cream. At least not quite yet, he amended after taking a second look – it was obvious from the other man's body language that he wasn't entirely comfortable, or happy, with the situation, and it was as if he'd tried to close the shutters of his usually expressive eyes. Maybe I should make that two pints.

Kurt tried to keep his trepidation from being noticed though, choosing to nod and send a small smile the Brit's way.

“Adam. I'm happy to see you.”

And he really was. No matter the outcome of their meeting, Kurt would be happy – and grateful – that he'd gotten to see the other man again. He wanted to know that Adam was fine, that he'd gotten on with his life even after Kurt had screwed things up. In the end, that knowledge meant even more to Kurt than the possibility of losing some of the guilt he carried over his cowardly actions and the end of their relationship.

“Kurt.” There was a standoffish quality to Adam that Kurt had never seen before, not even when mocked by other students, and his heart ached knowing that he deserved it. “I have to say I was surprised to hear from you, and even more so when you asked to meet up. To be quite honest, up until just now I wasn't sure if I should go through with it.”

The confirmation of his suspicions shouldn't hurt so much, but yet it did. It wasn't anything he hadn't expected, or earned for that matter, but the words still made his heart sink even further in his chest.

“Well, while I understand that – and I really do – I'm happy you came. I know I could have tried to apologize through email, but it didn't feel right. I wanted – no, I needed to actually talk to you. And if you never want to see me again, I'll understand. I'm not going to lie, I want us to stay in touch, I really do, but I am going to respect your wishes here.”

It would be hard, yes, but somehow Kurt suspected all things worthwhile were. Also, considering he'd complained about others not being willing to respect his wishes, well. “Do unto others” and all that, right? Treating others the same way he himself wanted to be treated was a good way to live, Kurt knew, and it was time he did. Adam was a really good place to start.

“Not to be rude, but why should we? I was willing to try that, you know, when you got back with your ex, only I couldn't even get you to look at me. I have absolutely no desire to be someone for you to use when trying put yourself back together again. Once was enough. Actually, no – once was one time too many, but. I'm sure you get my point?”

Yeah, he got it. He got it straight into his bruised and battered heart, alright. But. As much as it hurt, Kurt felt he deserved it – and more, considering how he himself had hurt Adam. Still...

“I do. And you're absolutely right, it shouldn't have happened even once, regardless of how it was never my intention. I never meant to use you, never. I do understand how it looks though, I really do.

“And I don't expect you to be there for me again – I don't expect anything from you. I would love it if we could be friends, or even just friendly, but also know exactly how badly I screwed up. So, as I said, if you never want to talk to me again after today, I promise you that I will respect that. If that's what you want, I will do everything in my power to make sure you never have to see me again.”

And he would, no matter how little he wanted to. Because Adam deserved so much, the least of which was respect. Kurt had failed him too many times when it came to that. He refused to do so again.

“I just... I owe you, Adam. So, so much, for all you gave me. And if you want me to repay that by leaving you alone, then I will. But don't you want closure? To be able to let all that crap go? Because I do. I'm trying to get over it, and heal, but honestly? The past has a way of dragging me down, and I would love to be able to cut that loose, and just live.

“And I think that as long as I feel this guilty over what happened with you that's going to be hard. As for you, well, in your shoes? I'd want to know what the hell happened.”

Adam's mouth twisted into an unhappy, sour grimace for a second, then relaxed again.

“But I already know what happened, don't I? You lied to me, and you used me – intentionally or not, there's no other way I can take what you did – and then you went running back to your ex, like it was all a game to you.”

“It wasn't!”

“But that's what it felt like. You were happy to date me for weeks, months even, but god forbid you commit. Instead you went back home and had sex with the guy who cheated on you. Then you didn't tell me about it, not until Santana basically forced you. And yeah, sure, we weren't exclusive, as much as I wanted to be, but Kurt? Not being exclusive didn't mean it didn't hurt. Because unlike you? I was committed.

“Still, I thought 'okay, he's been burned, he doesn't mean to hurt you, it'll be fine, we'll get through this'. Because you promised me I wasn't your rebound, that you wanted to be over him, and that you wanted to try. And so I trusted you. I trusted you, only to have you go back to Ohio only to come back with an engagement ring. You didn't even have the decency to give me a heads-up, Kurt. I had to find out through others. Hell, I wasn't even lucky enough to hear the gossip. Oh no.

“All those stuck-up brats that only stopped outright mocking me to my face because you pulled rank with them? Yeah, they took great pleasure in informing me about your changed relationship status. Telling me how you'd finally decided to 'get rid of the trash' and such.”

Kurt felt sick to his stomach, not just because of his guilt but also because of the hurt and the venom in Adam's voice. He had a good idea of exactly how nasty some of them had been, and how they'd relished in hurting Adam. And it was all his fault. He'd fucked up, and while he'd certainly paid for it, Adam had suffered just as much.

“I could have dealt with you deciding to break things off with me, Kurt. I wouldn't have liked it, no, but I would have accepted it. But that's not what happened. Instead you just threw me aside, showing me less respect than you do than yesterday's paper. Not only did you start dating someone else, after telling me you weren't ready for a relationship, but you started dating the guy who treated you like crap and who you told me you didn't want to go back to. And to top it all off you agreed to marry him?

“And as if all that wasn't enough, you waited until everyone who cared to bully me had had a go before trying to talk to me yourself.

“You owed me better, Kurt. I don't care that we weren't boyfriends, that we were only dating casually, you still owed me more than that. As someone who was both in love with you and trying to be your friend, I deserved more.”

Kurt swallowed down his tears and his shame, because Adam was right. The way Kurt had acted was so beyond okay it was hard for him to understand why Adam hadn't simply just spat him in the face when Kurt had tried to talk to him – both back then and now.

It was, he acknowledged, a testament of exactly how much of a good guy Adam was.

“You're right. You deserved so, so much more, and the way I acted was deplorable. I owe you so much, the least of which is an explanation. It's just hard finding the right words. It's always been. And all of this, it's going to sound like a bunch of excuses, like me trying to shift the blame of my behavior onto others, I realize that. Just, this is the result of hours of therapy. Because yeah, I needed that.

“I've needed it for years.

“When I left for Lima it was only to be there for my dad. I had absolutely no intention of getting back with Blaine – he wasn't even on my radar. I was planning to come back and keep trying the dating thing with you. We were going somewhere, I thought, and I wanted to see where that was. I wanted to see what we could be. Because I looked at you, and I saw sunshine, and I liked that.

“And then I was back, and everything was closing up on me. Blaine was around from day one, everywhere that wasn't the hospital, and sometimes there too. And he was...familiar, I guess. And I know, that's not an excuse, or even a good explanation, but it's the truth.

“And the longer I was there, the harder it was to see past him. Past the memories connected to everywhere I went, past the memories all over my room, because I hadn't had the heart to clear them out. Past everyone telling me we'd been so good together, that we belonged together, that part of being a couple was forgiving each other for mistakes, on and on.

“Add that both Rachel and Santana, the only ones who knew you, kept comparing you and what we had to Blaine and what I had with him, and making it all negative. Not putting you down, just... Making you sound less. Making our relationship sound like a cheap knockoff, and all emotions between us like a pale copy of what love and passion was supposed to be. And I was enough of an idiot to think that they had a point.”

Adam's face closed off and he started standing up, making Kurt panic.

“Being with you didn't hurt!” he blurted out, terrified that Adam wouldn't let him explain. Then he flushed scarlet, as the people at the next table turned and looked at him.

“Adam, please...”

He blinked back tears as Adam sat down again, both grateful for it and terrified it'd be for nothing as Adam looked as close to furious as Kurt had ever seen him.

“What are you talking about, Kurt?”

“Do you know how many guys have been interested in me? The first was so deep in the closet that his response to kissing me – without my consent, by the way – was a death threat.

“The second was Blaine, and he only went for me after he got shot down by who he really wanted, and he wanted to change like 90% of who I was.

“The third was you.

“That's it. That's my romantic history.” Kurt swallowed back a lump of humiliation and old hurt, and continued.

“Between the two of them Blaine and David made love into something twisted. They probably didn't mean to, it just... It happened. My friends... They were always in relationships, but never truly healthy ones. There was always something, you know? Mike and Tina came close, I think, except for how they got together when she was still dating someone else.

“And my brother was going to marry Rachel, only on the day of the wedding instead of taking her to the town hall he took her to the train station and sent her to New York alone. And that's not healthy, that one person feel that they can make that kind of decision about the relationship. Of course, Rachel saying she was going to stay in Lima to marry Finn instead of going to NYADA was hardly healthy either.”

And then there was Kurt's stupid crush on Finn, and how twisted that had made things, and... Well. No need to drag up everything.

“I used to think they'd end up together some way in the end after all, but now... They loved each other, I know they did, but I don't know if they could ever have been healthy together.

“It took me quite a lot of therapy to realize that I'd pretty much told myself that it wasn't love if it didn't hurt. It took even more before I could say that love shouldn't hurt, that if it hurts there's something wrong. It took me months to be able to say that what you and I had was real. That the fact that it didn't hurt proved it was. That it could have been everything – if I'd only let it.”

Kurt hated how his voice broke and wavered, hated that even after all the work he'd put in to become stronger talking about how fucked up he'd been made him feel anything but strong.

“When I told you about what happened at the wedding you acted as if it was okay. The same happened when I wouldn't commit to you. You never pushed for more, never pressured me to do – or be – something else. And I took that as meaning that you didn't really care.

“Stupid, I know. But... It was what I knew. I didn't understand that allowing me to decide for myself was something you did because you cared – because you did like me, and because you liked me, not who you could make me into. I had forgotten what it was like to have my wishes respected, because to be honest no one's done that fully since my mom died.

“I didn't know how to be in a relationship with someone who wouldn't push for me to do as they wanted, not what I needed, who didn't try and make me less so that they could be the one looked up to. Some part of me expected you to take offense at me doing well, or use it to your own advantage. Not because of anything you did, but because it was what I was used to.

“I was fucked up, and I should have found a therapist a long time ago.”

Once he'd started it was as if he'd forgotten to keep things inside, and he just kept talking even though Adam looked at him as if he'd pulled of a mask, revealing himself as an alien. The doors were open, and everything was coming out.

“It wasn't just about romantic love either. My dad was a part of it too. He... I love him, I do, and I don't doubt that he loves me, but sometimes... Sometimes I need more. Sometimes I resent him for not giving me more.

“Dad never said it out loud, but I always knew I wasn't what he'd hoped for in a son. Parts of me, yes, but me as a whole? Never. And that made me feel as if I had to earn his love, and acceptance. It drove me into doing all kinds of things I wasn't really into, in the hope that he'd be happy.

“I learned basic mechanic skills to please dad, I watched shows that made me so bored I wanted to cry, I hid things I loved, I gave up ballet, I tried out for the football team, I tried dating a girl... All so that dad would approve. Not just of my interests, but of me.”

Saying those things hurt, because Kurt really did love his dad, and criticizing him was hard. But, they were all true, and holding back had never helped. Quite the opposite, I'd say.

“After mom died I kind of got into a mindset of doing whatever it took to keep dad – in every way. Turns out, that also meant accepting a marriage proposal because dad thought I should. I remember coming out to him, and how scared I was, because I knew that his love wasn't unconditional. I knew that I was most likely going to disappoint him, and that he might love me less for not continuing to pretend I was 'normal'. And I would have, only I felt like it was killing me. I was scared that I would lose my dad by being honest, but I was even more scared that I would lose the will to live if I wasn't.

“And then when he told me he knew, and continued to tell me he loved me even after, I was so grateful that I ignored all the warning signs. Dad loved – loves – me despite being gay, and having to accept that breaks my heart.”

“Dad hated the idea of me dating in New York, and since I never told him any of the bad things about my relationship with Blaine he thought we had been good. He liked the idea of me only being with one boy – it was the next best thing to me staying single and celibate until I turned 30 or something, you know?

“So when we broke up, and I told him it was because we couldn't do long distance, well, dad never expected us to stay broken up. He figured it was just us being young and that we'd get back together once Blaine was in New York if not before.”

It had been so obvious, or should have been, that this had been the reasoning behind Burt bringing Blaine with him to New York over Christmas. Helping the two of them reconnect. Kurt avoided even thinking about the possibility that his dad would have pushed for him to get back with Blaine even if he'd known the whole truth, but he could tell that Adam was thinking something along those lines.

“For some reason dad thought that me getting married to Blaine was a good idea, and somehow I took that as me having to do just that. As me having to repay dad's acceptance with compliance.”

He choked out the words, feeling as if his life depended on no longer holding them in. And, miracle of all miracles, Adam reached over and rested his hand on Kurt's arm in a gesture of support. Only for a few seconds, but it felt like everything Kurt could ever have asked for.

His next words came out in a whisper.

“Sometimes I wonder if me not telling dad the truth about all the ugliness in my life was because deep down I didn't trust him with it. Didn't trust him to side with me, instead of saying I deserved it for being myself.

“The same goes for the ugliness in my relationship with Blaine. I didn't tell dad, because subconsciously I didn't expect him to take my side. He... Well. Let's just say he doesn't have the best track-record when it comes to taking my side against other guys.

“And when it came down to it, he didn't this time either. When I broke off the engagement my dad immediately sided with Blaine. He didn't even stop to listen to me, or consider my wishes. In the end that was what drove me out of New York. Not Blaine stalking me, or all my friends siding with him, but my dad's failure to support me and trust that I had good reasons for my choice.”

Bringing it up still hurt so much, even after all the therapy he'd had, and Kurt knew that just a month ago he would not have been able to to have this conversation, to lay himself this bare in front of Adam.

Burt Hummel had failed as a dad, utterly and completely, and that hurt more than anything. More than his friends failing him. More than Blaine betraying him. It was almost as painful as losing Finn.

Almost, but not quite, because while it felt like Kurt had lost his dad just as brutally as he'd lost his brother, at least Burt was still alive. The option to mend the fences some day was still there.

“Anyway, that's not an excuse, just like none of it is, but it's part of why I had such a hard time believing fully in you. Having a stranger be that accepting and supportive when my blood couldn't be bothered? It had to be fake. It had to be, because I couldn't deal with what it said about my life if it wasn't. It wasn't fair to you, and you deserved so much better, but that's how it was.”

“I'm not saying we ignore everything that's happened, and just go back to dating like I never went back to Lima and got stupid. Like I didn't hurt you. I know we can't do that. Not only would it be impossible, but it also wouldn't be healthy.” He should know – he had, after all, done exactly that with Blaine. “Too much has happened, and we're not the same. At least, I'm not, and I don't really think you are either.

“But could we start again? Could we try? Because Adam, I know it was my fault, but I'm not ready to lose you. I miss you. I want you in my life. You're one of the best people I've ever met. You're someone I'd be honored to call my friend.”

Kurt almost stopped there, almost allowed fear to keep him quiet. He'd come too far though, and something told him that unless he put all his cards on the table now he'd come to regret it.

“I'm not going to lie. I'd love for us to be more than friends again – would love it if you gave me a chance to love you, because I could. So easily.

“And if you're willing to try, again, if you're willing to trust me with your heart? This time? This time I'm ready. This time I'm free to move on, to commit. It would be just the two of us, no ghosts, if you're willing to give me a chance even though I haven't deserved it.”

Kurt held his breath, impatient for an answer and scared of one at the same time. Seconds ticked by and became a minute, then two and three, and Kurt's heart sank. Maybe he was too late. Maybe he'd misread Adam, again, and all this was just about closure to the other man.

You know you had to try though. Even if nothing comes of it, you hadto. The inner whisper came, as it occasionally did these days, in Finn's voice, and Kurt listened. You had to do this for your sake, because you'd never have been truly free otherwise, but most of all? You needed to do this for him. Either way you'll be fine, little brother. You know you will. You're strong enough to stand on your own if you have to.

He was broken out of his musings by Adam drawing a shaky breath, then speaking, voice a little wavering with emotion.

“Hi. My name is Adam.”

“Hi, Adam. I'm Kurt. It's a pleasure meeting you. I don't want to be too forward, but you seem like a really amazing guy. Would you like to meet up for a cup of tea some day? Maybe catch a movie?”

And as Adam met his smile with one of his own, almost as brilliant as the ones from before, Kurt felt his heart burst with joy and the soft hum of a triumphant melody rise in his soul.

See? I told you you'll be fine. Love doesn't have to hurt, little brother. Not when you do it right. He'll show you, just you see.

~ The End ~

[feuqueerfire]

2024 Anticipated Series & Movies

2022 Anticipated BLs & GLs || 2023 Anticipated BLs & GLs || Live Blogging

Shows released in 2024 I’m anticipating: Released, Releasing, To Be Released (with/without release dates)

Show

Country:

Release Dates: Watch Via: platform link (free/paid)

Status: 👀 To Watch || ⏸️ Currently Watching || ✅ Watched || ❌ Dropped

Watch Dates: Month x - y, 2023 (#)

Rating: /10

Initial Impression:

Overall Impression:

tags:

Also Appears In: [Live Blogging, AO3 link], (Month) 2024 Wrap-Up

Released

These are shows that have ended in 2024 that I’m interested in - ordered by their end date. Note: If it finishes in 2024, it’s a 2024 show for me.

Love for Love's Sake 

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jan 24, 2024 - Feb 1, 2024

Watch Via: paid, so :>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Feb 1 - 2, 2024 (#2), Sep 7 - 10, 2024

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: Positive reaction + Cha Woongki is in it

Overall Impression: It was cute, the concept was nice, the early 2 eps were Very promising and last ep was touching but the middle (esp 5-6) was quite meh for me. There was also a bunch of confusing stuff, esp in the second half, but I guess I won't try to investigate too much. It has people really talking and discussing and dissecting it though, which is a fun aspect.

Rewatch Impression: It's alright. I think I enjoyed the middle bit a bit more this time around but I'm still not super attached to the characters and this time, I got really bored by the last quarter even though it's supposed to be really quite emotional. The rating stays the same.

tags: love for love's sake

Also Appears In: Love For Love's Sake Live Blogging, February 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up, September 2024 Wrap-Up TODO

Pit Babe

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Nov 17, 2023 - Feb 9, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Feb 7 - 11, 2024 (#3)

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I’ve watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Initial Impression: Ahh, the tiktok clips I saw of eps 1 - 2 drove me a bit crazy, I loveee boyish, cute tops and then learned that apparently this is the A/B/O drama? but they’re both alphas (or rather - spoiler from tiktok comments - that Charlie’s an enigma?). and also seems like Charlie’s some sort of spy who will betray Babe? Man I kinda wanna just start watching it lol but it doesn’t end till Feb 9 next year smh give me 2 eps a week smh Anyway idk I feel like it has a lot of tropes I like, so maybe... if they can pull it off... I’d be thankful

Overall Impression: This show had everything: non-traditional alpha/alpha relationship, racecar competitions, x-men like superpowers, child trafficking, pseudo-incest if you think about it (from Kenta's side at least) and more. And it didn't have a super strong script, there were nonsensical elements and plot holes that didn't get addressed and things that happened to just move the plot along, but it was a fun watch nonetheless, both for the novelty and the entertainment factor. Babe was a very compelling character with his past and how he behaves in the present and his relationships with Tony/Way/people in general. Also helped that Pavel did a really good job with him and acted his ass off, there were quite a few emotional moments in there. I agree with some people's comments that I wish Charlie's actor Pooh as a better actor. And his character wasn't as developed or with depth as the other ones either, like in terms of emotions I guess. Although I really liked Charlie/Babe, my true ship winners might be Pete/Kenta in a Not Me ToddBlack fashion, to be honest, with Kenta as maybe my favourite character (2nd is Babe). They gave us like 2 tiny hints that they might know each other and waited until literally last 10 mins of episode 11 out of 13 to lay out their history. They have an interesting friends (-> brothers/crush) -> enemies -> allies again at the very end dynamic where I think that they could become lovers post-canon. Really had me writing a fic idea in my notes app after my few months of no drive to write.

tags: pit babe

Also Appears In: Pit Babe Live Blogging, February 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

The Sign

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Nov 25, 2023 - Feb 11 (24), 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Feb 20 - 24, 2024 (#4)

Rating: 6/10 [May 12, 2024 Update: Decreased by 0.5 stars when rerating shows I’ve watched in 2024: 6.5 -> 6]

Initial Impression: Another Idol Factory offering and this time more plot-based. It seemed to have REALLY good reception || The finale still isn't properly available yet so I don't really know how people will feel about the end but oh well, I'm gonna end up watching it either way because of how much people have been loving it

Overall Impression: I think I liked the first few eps and the potential of the series and the possibilities than I liked the actual series oof. Since everybody freaking loved this, I also had high expectations. I thought there would be more focus on the romance and fantasy and past lives aspect and less on the cop activity. I feel like they didn't choose the correct things to show on screen. I think most of the fight scenes and stuff were confusing and not choreographed very well, and some moments needed to have more time dedicated to them or have more gravitas to them. However, some moments were just shot/directed so beautifully. I enjoyed the parallels between Tharn and Phaya or their current life and past life. It shows the cyclical nature of Phaya and Tharn's lives, and it would've been even more impactful if we saw more of their past lives (their OG life or other reincarnations). Highly doubt I'm gonna think of the characters again, I somehow stopped being attached to them about halfway through - probably related to the fact that I liked the first few eps (half?) of the show better. They tried so many things, but I don't think they satisfyingly merged them or chose the correct things to focus on on-screen.

tags: the sign

Also Appears In: The Sign Live Blogging, February 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

Cherry Magic

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Dec 9, 2023 - Mar 2, 2024

Watch Via: ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 3 - 7, 2024 (#17)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: It was getting generally good buzz, so I was curious but this Tumblr post talking about the Thai BL landscape recently and saying CM might be better than the original made me seriously consider watching it. I think I’m also more receptive to Thai shows with this sort of storyline/dynamic more than Japanese shows, so hopefully I’ll actually like the series this time.

Overall: I’m glad that I ended up liking this adaptation better than the Japanese Cherry Magic live-action which was meh to me. Karan and Achi were cute and endearing (and felt more human/real to me than Kurosawa and Adachi I think?). i’m so charmed by Jinta and Min actually, a vast improvement from the japanese version’s equivalent. I liked getting my little taste of celeb/non-celeb dating and typical idol show problems from them too. On the other hand, I didn’t care about Pai and Rock ship whatsoever, though they were okay as standalone characters. I enjoyed the adaptation and how it had the Japanese touches (the company try work for specifically) while also introducing Thai elements (religion, festivals, dialects). Great improvement on the kissing department and I’m glad they also squeezed the wedding in there.

tags: cherry magic th

Also Appears In: Cherry Magic TH Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

Dead Friend Forever - DFF 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Dec 23, 2023 - Mar 9, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so :>)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Mar 4 - 9, 2024 (#5)

Rating: 7/10

Initial Impression: Be On Cloud production with actors who I'm not super keen on (Ta followed Andrew Tate on Twitter when I last checked…) but it's like a slasher, so I'd be curious to check it out. <- added to Considering when the first ep or 2 were out || 240229 - Added to Watchlist: I’ve been meaning to watch this since like ep 1 came out and I learned it was supposed to be horror-esque/slasher and seems like people have been loving it even more these past few eps. I’m actually so excited to check it out, I hope I love it and it rots my brain.

Overall Impression: I think this show landed the ending which is very satisfying. I was afraid that's where this show was leading because of certain choices in writing in eps 10 and 11 and that maybe they were gonna go for a kinda-happy ending to make it a BL but I really enjoyed it. Also interesting that there were so many predictions but despite them not being true, the finale still managed to be coherent based on what the first 11 episodes had set up for us while still surprising me. I enjoyed the first 4 eps and last few episodes more because it was more about the actual thriller/horror aspects whereas the middle 3 - 4 episodes were just so difficult to get through due to the bullying and police and Non getting dragged in more and more D: It had some good moments like Phee and Non's relationship etc but in general, just sad. I kept wanting it to move on to when Phee (and New) come up with the plan or to just go back to the cabin and the horrors. I think some characters were done really well while others were not, like they are all flawed and varying degrees of terrible but I have some that really compelled me (Tan, Tee, Fluke - liked these 3 enough to write so many words about them in another Tumblr post) vs those who fell flat for me and the main characters (Phee, Jin) kinda fell into that.I'm glad something like this exists in BL (though there wasn't much real romance in it lol). It also made me write so many words and posts on here, really gives you the itch to Discuss because of the different threads and characters and motivations and secrets.

tags: dead friend forever

Also Appears In: Dead Friend Forever Live Blogging, March 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

Jazz for Two

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Mar 26, 2024 - Mar 29, 2024

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Via: iQiyi (paid, so ;>)

Watch Dates: Apr 11 - 12, 2024 (#7)

Rating: 6/10

Overall: Nobody in this drama asks before kissing lol not Doyoon, not Seheon, not the little kiss that Seheon's brother gave to sleeping Taejoon, and the other two, Juha and Taeyi, are experts in being creeps and having internalized homophobia that they direct outwardly to the guys they like as well (Seheon's brother fits here too lol). Yet, I enjoyed it a fair amount, the story was coherent (lots of open strands at the end though...), the acting was fine, I was endeared by Doyoon (is he the Omega X kid?), and the dynamics were enjoyable, if iffy on certain counts. Not super attached though.

tags: jazz for two

Also Appears In: Jazz For Two Live Blogging, April 2024 Wrap-Up

Blank - Season 1

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 2, 2024 - Apr 7, 2024

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Via: Youtube

Watch Dates: July 1 - 4, 2024 (#14)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial: Only season 1 is out for now and apparently it ends on a cliffhanger, so idk if I should be adding it to the watchlist quite yet but I want age gap GL (w dubious morality? idk what the discourse is about tbh), so I’ll add it and hope S2 is released in May as expected and turns out well. Also might watch/rewatch with Phoebe Rise's better subs, esp S1.

Overall: A dramatic, intense, first half of an age gap GL and though the plot is ridiculous sometimes (mother, father, and daughter all in love with Khun Nueng at different points in life), I was invested. The acting was good, the storyline was good, I'm into the age gap and honestly expected it to be a little worse based on how people were talking about it lol. I loved getting to see Nueng play a character which I'm more accustomed to seeing in male love interests (or at least in the YA fantasy I used to read as a teen lol): she's callous, she's closed-off, she doesn't show her emotions/weaknesses and will be publicly cruel while having a heart-of-gold and breaking down in private. I'm looking forward to the next part. Also, I'd totally forgotten about the subs link whelp, I understood what was going on nearly all of the time despite the meh subs, so it's fine.

tags: blank the series

Also Appears In: Blank S1 & S2 Live Blogging TODO, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Unknown

Country: Taiwan

Release Dates: Feb 24, 2024 - Apr 20, 2024

Watch Via: Viki b/c better subs but free on Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 13 - 17, 2024 (#11)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Thoughts: I’d been keeping an eye on it since it started releasing and it got pretty high praise all throughout. I think I can get into the we’re-not-biological-brothers-but-we-grew-up-together-as-brothers dynamic

Overall: I'm so glad I got over my pseudo-incest brother-lover aversion because I can now watch this stuff in delight. Though I must say, my favourite aspect of this show is the little family trio with Qian, Yuan, and Lili, with San Pang occasionally invited as well. I loved how they cared for each other and how though Lili was left out of the romantic duo inside their trio, it didn't feel like she was forgotten or sidelined. The romance itself, I think the development was nice, especially from Yuan's side since we saw how he thought of Qian and how he supported him and we also saw a bit of from Qian's when when Yuan was gone + when he returned. Since there was so much angst and build-up for like 10 episodes, their actual coming together should have been grander. Feels like their relationship actually switching to lovers wasn't treated with enough gravitas and seemed a bit too much too fast and they didn't seem to emotionally struggle with the switch at all, though I would've expected a bit from Qian. Lastly, Qian is so beautiful, like incredibly attractive to me, woah.

tags: unknown

Also Appears In: Unknown Live Blogging, June 2024 Wrap-Up

23.5 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Mar 8, 2024 - May 24, 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Apr 27 - May 24, 2024 (#8)

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: We've been waiting on this for so long, the last one from the GMMTV 2023 batch that I'd been looking forward to. Hope it lives up to the hype.

Overall: GMMTV's first GL and MilkLove's first full GL; I was super excited, especially after having watched MilkLove in Bad Buddy and the Magic of Zero special, which is why I started watching this on-air (thought I'd start it even earlier than ep 8 but didn't because of exams). So it's a shame that I feel so... nothing about the show, especially the main couple; I think Aylin/Luna is my fave ship in here. I think I also just wasn't much in the mood for a silly high school romance series right now, which isn't the show's fault but contributed to why I didn't feel the pull to continue watching the show. When I did watch it, it could get pretty cute though, I giggled/gushed a few times, especially about Luna and Aylin. The teachers' storyline was cute too, though barely there. Aylin was the MVP for sure.

tags: 23.5 degrees

Also Appears In: 23.5 Degrees Live Blogging Eps 1 - 8, Eps 9 - 12, May 2024 Wrap-Up

Spaceless (2024)

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: June 4, 2024

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Via: Youtube (free)

Watch Dates: June 4, 2024 (#10)

Rating: 5.5/10

Overall: Got spoiled about the sad ending and what happens, so I prepared myself for that but it was still like you did all this on the first week of pride?! jail!! It did make me look forward to 4 minutes more though, after seeing Bible acting after SO LONG + seeing the natural interactions and chemistry between Bible and Jes. It was also a bit interesting/new to see Bible acting as just a regular guy who has a crush on somebody else rather than Vegas in flashy clothes committing crimes. I would've rated it higher if I felt anything for the characters tbh but I think I knew too much to get involved and also was like man... to both of the characters.

Also Appears In: June 2024 Wrap-Up

My Stand-In

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Apr 26, 2024 - Jul 12, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi, so ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 25 - July 13, 2024 (#13)

Rating: 7/10

Initial: new Up show + everybody is morally corrupt + everybody seems to love ep 1. The synopsis seemed confusing, so I wasn't super interested at first, but seems like it's about somebody dying and the mother resurrecting him only he came back Wrong (because the wrong person came back in the body)? sounds cool

Overall: How does Ming live knowing he never faced Joe's original body while having sex?! A permanent body switch should have more despair, Joe is just stuck in this random guy's body forever while his own body was cremated... horrific omg. I knew going into the show that Ming is supposedly a terrible person who treats Joe shittily and Joe keeps going back to it and I think that preparation helped me really enjoy the show. The show redeems Ming by the end but it doesn't necessarily pretend that Ming actually treated Joe well back then, Ming's shittiness was the point. It's a fun show and I was excited to see Ming realize how much Joe truly meant to him rather than his crush on Tong (also, fuck Tong's attempted redemption!). I found Ming and Joe so cute together man, like when the times were good, they were soooooo good. Overall, a good show, definitely one of the better BLs this year and one where I wasn't disappointed compared to the hype.

tags: my stand-in

Also Appears In: My Stand-In Live Blogging Eps 1 - 10, Ep 11, Ep 12, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Wandee Goodday 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: May 4, 2024 - Jul 20, 2024

Watch Via: GMMTV Youtube (free)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 1 - DROPPED, 2024 (#9)

Rating: -/10 but maybe a tentative 5/10

Initial: People have been really enjoying it and I wanted to be part of the convo/see the convo in real time, so I started it as well when ep 5 was out.

Overall: I was so excited for this based on how people were talking about the first 4 or so episodes, which I also thoroughly enjoyed once I started watching. But in the middle it felt character motivations and actions were inconsistent and I was confused about certain narrative choices (the kiss...) and so didn't really feel the urge to keep up week to week after ep 8. I was gonna binge eps 9 - 12 at once but I realized that I actually do not care because most things I've read about those few episodes made me dread watching it and I don't think I'd enjoy it. I saw a few gifs

tags: wandee goodday

Also Appears In: Wandee Goodday Live Blogging Eps 1 - 5, Ep 6, Ep 7, Ep 8, June 2024 Wrap-Up, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Century of Love

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jul 10, 2024 - Aug 8, 2024

Watch Via: Youtube

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: July 27 - Aug 8, 2024 (#18)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: Watching this could be cool with 2 episodes a week, so the wait won't be as long until next episode and we'll get double the length per week. It hasn't been released yet, so I'm Very Tentatively putting this on the watchlist because idk why I like seeing DaouOffroad clips/pics on my twitter these days even though I haven't even watched Love In Translation smh. The trope of loml-reincarnated-into-a-man D: is doesn't specifically call to me but I'm not opposed to it at all. honestly I could get into it if done well or done toxic in a delicious way because I don't remember First Love, Again at alllll. anyway, we'll see with this one. || Okay, people seem to loveee it so far (5/6 eps out) and I've also grown more and more curious, so this one seems to be the next one, hoot

Overall: I think this show had a strong first half but the last two episodes were irritating and kind of forgot what the show was about in the first place. I enjoyed the 120-something year old San and his little family that spans generations, I like San's grumpy nature contrasted with Vee's bright demeanor, I liked the question of whether Vee is the real Wad reincarnation, I liked their romance and the tinge of sexiness, I liked San being cold to the idea of even doing anything with Vee but progressing to fall in love and ultimately choosing Vee regardless of whether he's the reincarnation or not. loved Juu! She was sooo cute and gorgeous and the acting was good, I want to see her more. But then for the last 3 episodes, we spent too much time with the flat, one-note villains with ridiculous fight scenes, hiding (ridiculous!!!) the stone situation from Vee and SanVee being separated and not on the same page instead of tackling this together, and no answers to one of the main aspects of the show (is Vee the Khun Wad reincarnation?) - just lipservice of "let the past be the past" as an afterthought. The premise and set-up of the show were good but it just fell flat at the end.

tags: century of love

Also Appears In: Century of Love Ep 1 - 8, Eps 9 - 10 Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

Love Sea 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jun 9, 2024 - Aug 11, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi (free trial)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 22 - 28, 2024 (#20)

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: I was going to watch the sex scenes even if nothing else because of all the woof/dog/puppy things that was going on with Fort's character but now that I've got a week of iQiyi VIP, why not.

Overall: A fine enough show, I think the dynamic and characters were interesting and the show/relationships threads were good for the main couple, especially the class difference rich/poor conversations and how their dynamic evolved. Thank you forever for all the puppy/dog Mut. Unlike most people who were so over the side-GL, I was actually quite into Vie/Mook (esp because they have some tropes I enjoy, such as celeb/non-celeb and one person makes their crush do chores/errands) and kept hoping for... something to happen, for their dynamic to progress. They didn't get a proper ending, which is sad. Vie was also such a good friend to Rak, I don't know why she was such a terror with Mook and then never progressed past it. Loved Meena, what a cutie. I do agree with the general consensus that the island episodes were better.

tags: love sea

Also Appears In: Love Sea + Special Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

Love Sea Special Episode 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Aug 25, 2024

Watch Via: ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 29, 2024 (#21)

Rating: 6/10

Overall: A cute special overall. It's about Rak and Mut's progress and lives together in the future and how they've met each other in the middle rather than random drama. Vie and Mook are cute too, it makes me sad that their story wasn't given a proper conclusion in the original series. Also, I wanna go on vacation so bad.

tags: love sea

Also Appears In: Love Sea + Special Live Blogging, August 2024 Wrap-Up

4Minutes 

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Jul 26, 2024 - Sep 13, 2024

Watch Via: iQiyi

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Aug 11 - Sep 13, 2024 (#19)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: one of my most highly anticipated. i'd kept an eye on it since it was announced but kinda lost interest after all the controversy surrounding Build. but now that there's a new actor + I've liked Sammon's work in Triage and Dead Friend Forever - DFF + excited to see how Bible does in a new role, I'm highly anticipating it again.

Overall: It's a shame that the last episode was not very good and it didn't tie up things well or do anything meaningful with the 7 episodes that came before it because I quite enjoyed 7/8 eps of the show and enjoyed both the Great nad the Tonkla portions of the story. I enjoyed the characters (and how terrible they were) and what I thought was going on. It was a good Friday watch + I liked it even more when I binge rewatched eps 1 - 6 and was anticipating the show more. And yet, it feels like they didn't explore the themes and potential of the storylines enough, especially the whole 4 minutes thing. It's fine, I don't hate the show and really liked most of the show but it feels like the last ep took the wind out of it.

tags: 4 minutes

Also Appears In: 4 Minutes Ep 1 - 4, Ep 5 - Ep 6, (Ep 1 - 6 rewatch) + Ep 7, Ep 8 Live Blogging, September 2024 Live Blogging TODO

Watched: 16

Ranking of Watched:

8:

7.5:

7: Dead Friend Forever - DFF = My Stand-In

6.5: Unknown = Blank Season 1 = Cherry Magic TH = Century of Love = 4 Minutes

6: Love For Love's Sake = Jazz For Two = Pit Babe = The Sign = 23.5 = Love Sea = Love Sea: Special

5.5: Spaceless

Dropped: Wandee Goodday

To Watch:

I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama (Jpn - Jan 1) : The Conversation podcast mentioned in their 2024 Winter Lagniappe and seems like it's a celeb-related show? they’re actors?

Last Twilight (Thai - Jan 26): Everybody's loving it so far, I'm curious || hmmm people have very polarizing opinions on the last ep (both the disability aspect but also the general storytelling aspect), so I'm cautious but people reallllly love the first 9 episodes. Just adding it here in case I wanna see what the hype was about

Chaser Game W (Jpn - Feb 27): Another Japanese GL and apparently it has toxic-ish workplace romance + post-breakup second chance romance yay. Also, the tweet where one of the characters is like “I’m a lesbian” *thunder* is hilarious

Perfect Propose (Jpn - Mar 1): Originally was curious about it because of the casual (?) hand job gifs from 1st ep and because while I’m not really into the sweet stuff from Japan, something like the tone of this might be appealing. Also, this Tiktok of “We’re engaged” “[...] and we’re both guys” “I’m gay” was pretty funny

Love is Better the Second Time Around (Jpn - Apr 10): I'm fond of the second chance/post-breakup romance trope, hopefully I’ll like this one

Deep Night (Thai - Apr 25): I’ve enjoyed First Piyangkul in shows before and am curious about the host club setting in this. This show is such an interesting case because on Reddit and on Tumblr, everybody seems to love it and MDL has some mixed comments but mostly positive there too, and yet the MDL rating is 7.5, I wonder why the discrepancy.

To the X Who Hated Me (Kor - May 8) - 240520: another Youtube kGL short, from the same people as Girlfriend Project Day 1, I think. It has 2 seasons (unrelated couples?)

Lonely Girls (Kor - May 13): finally another Youtube kGL, been a while since a new one. released alongside Blue Boys.

Boys Be Brave! (Kor - May 16): Feels like I didn't hear much about this as it was airing but has a p good MDL rating for now, maybe I'll give it a try.

25 Ji, Akasaka de (Jpn - June 20): Celeb romance? I'll check it out || People seemed to like it and how it ended

Knock Knock, Boys! (Thai - Aug 1): Wasn't on my radar but as it was airing, I've heard only good things and people seem satisfied with the ending. It seems sex-positive? Which I could really use from BLs. Also curious to see Seng.

The Secret of Us (Thai - Aug 12): Got a lot of praise, though it seems like it had a rocky ending. Gorgeous, gorgeous Orm. Need to watch this to just watch her face.

Takara no Vidro (Jpn - Sep 2): I'm a bit cautious to add a jBL series but people seemed to quite enjoy this one. Also, one of the guys (Takara?) is so, so gorgeous omg.

The Time of Fever (Kor - Sep 12/May 15 in korea): The ULS spin-off that people had been anticipating for so long. I didn't watch ULS but the clips I've seen of this on Twitter make me wanna watch. Seems so full of tension.

Releasing

These are shows that are currently releasing in 2024 that I’m interested in - ordered by their end date. Tracking both currently watching and to be watched

Currently Watching

To Watch

The Trainee

To Be Released

These are shows that have are planned for a 2023 release, may or may not have release dates (and some might get moved to 2024 lol)

From 2023 - these are rolled over from plans of being released in 2023

Domundi: The Next Prince and maybe the other ones if people say they're good

GLs!

Wish You Luck: Sci-fi, post-apocalyptic show :00 seems cool, also has Tonnam who I’ve only seen in comedic roles so far

Flirt Milk the series: I don’t have much faith or curiosity about Starhunter shows but I watched the mock trailer and think the “we both change ourselves to fit the other” thing is funny

Planned for 2024 - these were announced with the plans for 2024 release

GMMTV 2024 Pt 1: My Love Mix-Up! and Pluto are my priorities. The Trainee, My Golden Blood, and Wandee Goodday if they turn out to be good. Keeping my ears open to hear if any of the others are good.

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase: especially Heart Breakers, The Ex-Morning, Us, and Thame-Po

TODO: update the #gmmtv 2023 and #gmmtv 2024 tags for gifsets when I watch the show

Jack and Joker: Yinwar new show ahhhh!!!!! and seems like a kinda plotty one as well. Need to watch the 12 minute trailer though lol || So fun!!!!! I like that it's 11 minutes of establishing characters and rising action (+ some history) but it doesn't show the resolution and conclusion the way pilot trailers tend to do, the mystery builds up the anticipation. The fight choreo looked good maybe? I'm not an expert in that at all but it seemed better than most of the other Thai BLs. I really hope the screenwriting makes sense and is logical and not non-sensical because pretty much all the plotty/crime BLs require a lot of suspension of belief. I've been looking forward to this since the initial liveshow trailer and now am anticipating this even more, on the edge of my seat!

Change2561 2024 Showcase: Goddess Bless You From Death !!, Affair GL, possibly I’m The Most Beautiful Count and Pit Babe S2

some other high profile ones: Spare Me Your Mercy, 4 Minutes

Hwang Daseul directed kBL, yay! Blueming my absolutely beloved while TMS and WYEL are also good.

kBL: In general, keep an eye on the kBLs and try to watch w/o subs or with Korean subs (or french subs to lessen the reliance on English subs and increase trying to understand by listening)

GLs: The Last Case (mystery?)

Het/non-QL shows

There aren’t as many of these I’m interested in, comparatively, but thought I'd still track them.

Released

Death's Game Part 2 (2024)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jan 5, 2024

Watch Via: paid, so :>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Jan 30, 2024 (#1)

Rating: 6/10

Overall Impression: Firstly, fuck the message of the show. In shows like this, where they treat suicide as a personal, moral failure of selfishness and weakness rather than due to systematic issues in society, mental health struggles, or treating the characters with kindness, it's of utmost importance to just roll your eyes and see the story/acting/etc. Eps 1 to half of 3 were interesting and exciting but in the way of "I'm watching a show with murder and gore and people trying to outsmart each other" rather than about this specific show. The ending is... okay, I guess, expected it. In Part 1, Death just left something to be desired for me and this kinda continued here. Don't think I'll think of this show much (except maybe Lee Dohyun?) and the 2nd part didn't have the excellent pacing of the first one. Not as good as part 1.

tags: death's game

Also Appears In: Death's Game Live Blogging, January 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

A Shop for Killers 

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Jan 17, 2024 - Feb 7, 2024

Watch Via: ;>

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 18 - 20, 2024 (#12)

Rating: 6.5/10

Initial Impression: I saw it on the Certified Noonas coming up in January I think? But I also saw it getting good impressions on the r/kdrama on-air threads + pocha playlist's initial impression + it has Lee Dong Wook, even though it's not like I watch all his shows or anything

Overall: Interesting premise + interesting execution with all the flashbacks, they way the flashbacks were in Jian's POV, then Jeongmin for 1 ep, then Jinman (we did have some repetition during Jinman's that we already saw through Jian's). The flashbacks cutting through the current action were sometimes bothersome, especially after we'd already established important stuff and then the flashback stuff didn't feel as important as the current. I found Jinman intriguing and mysterious and understood him despite being frustrated with how he treated Jian at times. Jian, I liked way more at the beginning but then started being annoyed toward the end at times. Mihye was soooo cool. It was a surprisingly funny show, especially in regard to how this is just a job for these mercenaries and killers lol The ending was a bit anticlimactic in terms of how things were resolved + there was a bunch of important threads that were unfinished (aiming for a season 2?). I wasn't surprised by the ending but I don't know if they were aiming for that anyway, I think they knew the audience to predict it and were okay with it.

tags: a shop for killers

Also Appears In: A Shop for Killers Live Blogging, June 2024 Wrap-Up

A Killer Paradox (2024)

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Feb 9, 2024

Watch Via: Netflix (so, ;>)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: Mar 29 - 31, 2024 (#6)

Rating: 6/10

Initial Impression: Been waiting for this since literally 2023 after I watched Strangers From Hell and saw in Certified Noonas' 2023 releases that it was from the same director + is an interesting concept [Kdramas mentioned in Certified Noonas 2023 Releases: Murder DIEary (the synopsis is cool and the director is the same as Strangers From Hell but I’m looking at the MDL again and 2024? D: why so far but someone on comments has also been saying that the filming ended recently - Mar 25, 2023 - and it can still come out this year). 2024: Rolled over from 2023 and now it's called A Killer Paradox]

Overall Impression: Really enjoyed the first few episodes (up to ep 4), then eps 5 - 7 were kinda meandering and it felt like not much was happening (that I cared about anyway), then ep 8 was engaging again. In the second half, we focused a lot on Song Chon and his story to me wasn't as engaging as Lee Tang's and we also strayed away from Lee Tang and his thoughts. I liked the fun shots and the imagination scenes, it was interesting. I feel like the show didn't have many twists and turns, like it was all a bit anti-climactic, which dampened it. Had high hopes because of the concept + Strangers From Hell director but that show was a lot more atmospheric and insular and the character focuses were more engaging. Don’t think I’ll ever think about it.

Also Appears In: A Killer Paradox Live Blogging, March 2024 Movies/Shows Wrap-Up

How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies

Country: Thailand

Release Dates: Apr 4, 2024 (but September in theatres around me)

Watch Via: in real-life theatre, woah

Watch Dates: Sep 21, 2024 (#22)

Rating: 7/10

Initial: I want to watch this in the theatres since it's showing around me! I hope it runs longer than just this week though hmm. It'd sure be something if I ended up watching this before ITSAY lol I can't believe I'd had that on my to-watch/curious list since like 2019 or whenever it came out and I heard some small buzz about it even though I wasn't in the show/movie sphere at all. The trailer was on my to-watch along with 3 Will Be Free lol.

Overall: A Thai movie in theatres near me + includes Billikin & Tu who I know despite not having watched either of their shows + heart-wrenching family stuff, of course I was into watching it. It was great, the quality is incredible compared to most of the Thai shows I watch. The characters felt so real, the acting was great, even the set design was incredible like the houses and everything felt so lived in - I noticed dust on the sill of the cupboard and stuff, it was crafted so well. I shed a tear as it was nearing the end and I thought that would be it but for the last 10 minutes of so, tears just kept falling. Very good.

tag: how to make millions before grandma dies

Lovely Runner 

Country: South Korea

Release Dates: Apr 8, 2024 - May 28, 2024

Watch Via: Viki (paid)

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: June 25 (Ep 1 only), July 6 - 11 (#15)

Rating: 7/10

Initial: Got curious on 240409, I saw this edit and initial good reaction to Eps 1-2. Heard good things all throughout the run of the show and good reception to the ending as well, so I'm excited.

Overall: A fun show with a fun concept and great acting + romance. It was funny and delightful most of the time, there was a kind of killer/suspense aspect but that wasn't really ever the Focus, Sunjae being killed was the focus; similarly, they didn't thoroughly explain the time travel because the mechanics wasn't the focus, Sol going back was the focus. I liked Sunjae and Sol together and it was fun seeing how Sunjae was slightly different in the different timelines lol I liked seeing the couple on high school, college, as idol!Sunjae and actor!Sunjae. It did feel a bit like consistency was lost in their relationship but that was the point i guess. It was a very romantic concept, the way they were falling in love in every timeline. Everything about it was good and I was engaged, I just don’t think I’d think about it much though.

tags: lovely runner

Also Appears In: Lovely Runner Live Blogging, July 2024 Wrap-Up

Longlegs (2024)

Country: USA

Release Dates: May 19, 2024 - Jun 21, 2024

Watch Via: at the theatres

Status: ✅ Watched

Watch Dates: July 12, 2024 (#16)

Rating: 5/10

Overall: Was hoping for more since it's so hyped. Didn't find it to be scary nor haunting, and the mystery aspect/the reveals felt anti-climactic. We did miss the first few minutes of the movie though and I wanna watch it, so that's on my list.

Also Appears In: July 2024 Wrap-Up TODO

Ranking of Watched: 6

7: Lovely Runner = How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies

6.5: A Shop for Killers

6: Death's Game Part 2 = A Killer Paradox

5.5:

5: Longlegs

To Watch:

The Midnight Romance in Hagwon (Krn - June 30): Wi Hajoon lead + noona romance + she was his past teacher/tutor. General good reviews, though maybe slow?

Releasing

TODO

To Be Released

From 2023 - these are rolled over from plans of being released in 2023

TODO 

Planned for 2024 - these were announced with the plans for 2024 release

GMMTV 2024 Part 1: Enigma 2

GMMTV 2024 Part 2 Showcase: Hide & Sis, possibly The Dark Dice

Lost Interest

Title (country - release date)

Initial Impression:

Removal Date:

Lost Interest:

Cooking Crush (Thai - 240218)

Initial Impression: OffGun was a surprise but a welcome one during GMMTV 2023. As it's airing, heard kinda conflicting thoughts from people but it seems generally positive, so I'll give it a watch maybe

Removal Date: 240218

Lost Interest: I never actually added it to my To Watch list because the reception was iffy the whole way through but kept my eyes on it because of Off/Gun in case if got better. Seems like it didn't... oh well, hopefully The Trainee will be more liked because I enjoy OffGun.