#but i think he's fairly humble and has like no reason to exaggerate his accomplishments
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enniewritesathing · 6 years ago
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The real question I haven't quite answered myself is -- when John talks about himself being a nak muay farang* (foreign Thai boxer), is he boastful? Humble? Humble brags? Little arrogant? Confident?
Maybe when he was growing up he was a little brattish. Get a big head about things until that big ass ego gets taken down a notch.
Now? Not so much. He knows not to underestimate, because it's happened to him too. Keeps his ego in check, but there's moments he's really feelin' it.
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rutilation · 5 years ago
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In honor of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that has occurred in the last few days for fear of potential incoming Joshua discourse, I have decided to get ahead of the curve and start discoursing about him before the anime even airs!
(--because he’s an interesting character who I didn’t really understand until several years after finishing the game.)
So, I got into the game around 2010, and while I comprehended the broad strokes of Joshua’s character, he seemed more like an inscrutable trickster than a person with relatable emotions, and his reasons for setting the plot into motion were as opaque to me as his reasons for backing off at the last second.
In particular, a big sticking point for me was his assessment of Neku.  He considered him “the worst person in Shibuya” and chose him as a proxy because of that.  And for years I thought that was the most ludicrous aspect of the game.  If the very worst person you can find in your bustling metropolis is a grumpy teenager who only has the potential to commit murder when under duress, then how could you possibly think that it’s beyond salvation, you utterly incoherent moron!  But, several years afterwards, I realized why he saw Shibuya as unsalvageable, and why he held Neku in such contempt, and the disparate elements of the character started to click into place for me.  
For as much as Joshua likes to put on airs, his motivations aren’t rational in the slightest.  When Joshua says that Shibuya has grown shallow and static, he’s really talking about himself, and is projecting all the things he hates about himself onto the surrounding environment.  He singles out Neku not because this run-of-the-mill moody teen is objectively the worst person in Shibuya, but because he sees Neku as a younger, more naive version of himself, and in a classic example of the narcissistic element of self-hatred, being like him is the most irredeemable sin Joshua can conceive of.
Then, I started thinking about what he actually intended to accomplish with his whole plan, and specifically, the duel at the end.  I don’t think Joshua had any intention of presiding over a remade Shibuya.  I think he was banking on Neku killing him and taking his place, and all that stuff about hijacking Shibuya from the composer during week two was for the sole purpose of planting that idea in Neku’s head.  In life, Joshua was friendless, miserable, and myopic.  He had hoped that by entering the world of the reapers’ game, he might find a sense of fulfillment.  But in the end, this mere change of scenery didn’t do anything to address his underlying malaise, and life felt just as empty as it did before.   Thus, he sets his plan in motion, intending to pass on his awful torch to a fellow awful person.  
What he didn’t count on was Neku growing as a person and gaining hope instead of losing it.  Joshua wanted to end his own world, but the outcome of all his scheming was that it opened up instead.  Instead of validating his grand act of self-destruction as planned, Neku refutes Joshua's worldview in a way he can't ignore or dismiss.
When I first saw the secret ending, my reaction was something along the lines of: “Aww, I guess he’s not totally heartless after all.”  But looking back on it, I can’t really see it as anything other than tragic.  Joshua can’t lie to himself anymore, can’t continue to protect himself with a shield of apathy and cynicism, but because of the permanence of his past choices, he can’t actually free himself from this isolated and claustrophobic world he’s created either, and that prison is made all the more painful now that he realizes how much he’s missing out on.  All he can do in the secret ending is watch forlornly as that younger version of himself grows up, makes connections, and moves on, while he’s still stuck at a dead-end.
(There’s a moment during the credits of KH:3D in which Joshua is perched above the rest of the cast on a giant letter, parodying his fondness for sitting on buildings.  The others soon take notice of him, and hassle him into coming down and joining them.  When I noticed it, it warmed my heart a bit, and made me hopeful about the trajectory of his character, regardless of whether or not a sequel would actually materialize.)
But all that being said, what I just wrote isn’t what the fine folk in the TWEWY fandom mean when they refer to Joshua discourse.  As far as I can tell, the true discursive quandary is thus:  “Is Joshua, in fact, Komaeda?”  Well I have bad news for you guys because, in my humble opinion, he kind of is?  
Now, I realize that knowing enough to write several paragraphs about such a cursed character can be seen as me telling on myself, but in my defense, your honor, I didn’t get into danganronpa until a few years after its popularity peaked.  Whatever discourse wars were waged over Komaeda and his zipper-shoes back in 2013, I was not a part of them.  With that out of the way...
You know those posts that get passed around here every so often about how the concept of gifted children sucks?  How it puts too much pressure on them?  How it encourages them to see themselves as instrumentally rather than inherently valuable?  How it leaves them anxious, depressed, and bereft of ways to cope?  Well, that’s the underlying allegory of SDR2, and underneath all the wacky shenanigans that comprise your average danganronpa title, that’s what the cast is contending with.  This is true of it’s protagonist, and especially true of his rival.
in much the same way that Joshua is the worst parts of Neku exaggerated and taken to their logical conclusion, Komaeda plays precisely that role for Hinata.  Both characters serve as a cautionary tale for the respective toxic mindsets that these games are denouncing.
Now that I think about it, Komaeda almost seems like an evolution of the concept, because he intuits from a fairly early point in the story that the protagonist’s very essence is a refutation of his worldview.  He insists on viewing Hinata as being far above him, but in actuality he realizes Hinata is in a similar situation--see his comment in one of the FTEs that Hinata feels like a miserable outsider like himself.  And if someone even a little bit like him is capable of experiencing happiness and connecting with others, what then?  The gap between how Komaeda wants to feel and how he actually feels is a subtle but reoccurring thread throughout the story.  This, I think, is why he seems to regard Hinata with both attraction and revulsion, treating him as simultaneously an avatar of his repressed will (hence why he attempts to bolster him in the class trials,) and an object of scorn (hence the smattering of passive aggressive jabs before chapter four, and the outright antagonism from that point forward.)  While Joshua fools himself until the the end of the game, Komaeda, master of doublethink that he is, seems at times self-aware of the fact that he is a foil in the literary sense, and that awareness partly informs his neurosis.  His take on the character type feels a little more post-modern, I suppose? 
Anyway, it wouldn’t surprise me if Joshua were an inspiration for Komaeda’s character and role in the story.  But even then, I suspect that the question is less, “Is Joshua, in fact, the same sort of character as Komaeda?” and more “Is Joshua, in fact, going to become a contemptible meme like Komeada?”  To which I say, probably not.  *knock on wood*
For one thing, while TWEWY will certainly experience an uptick in popularity once the anime starts airing, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will capture the nerd zeitgeist enough to turn one of its characters into a meme that transcends the story from whence it came.  Furthermore, there’s more to being a tumblr sexy meme man than merely belonging to an archetype.  Komaeda’s spiritual successor in DRV3 is kind of popular, but isn’t an inter-fandom joke in the same way he is, and neither are Kaworu from Eva or Ryo from Devilman, for that matter, and those are the grandfathers of the archetype in question.  In addition, the other infamous tumblr sexymen that come to mind, Sans and Onceler, aren’t a part of the white-haired-anime-rival-boy archetype, and Sans isn’t even a conventionally attractive twink.  I posit that the alchemy determining which characters and media tumblr loses its shit over is more varied and complicated than it appears at first glance.  (Not that I actually want to devote much brainpower to that particular field of study, lol.)
Uhhhhh... in conclusion, thank you for reading my words and also the DR3 anime is trash.
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isolationstreet · 5 years ago
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Take two! May I ask for Jenny/Jelly and Skimble/Asparagus for the shipping list?
Send me two character names and I’ll fill out the list for you:
this is gonna get super long so im putting it under the cut
Jellyanydots 
Who is the clingy one? - jenny! i think that while spending time together is important to both of them  i think that jelly is a lot more chill about it and likes alone time and spending it with other people where as jenny is very into “lets have quality time as family” to a near over bearing extent 
Who is more likely to admit a mistake? - this one goes to jelly because jenny is a very proud cat and jelly is rather humble and even when say she’s bragging about gus’s accomplishments its still very honest and with caveats like “he says in his time” and i think that same down to earth nature applies here as well    
Would they lie to make each other happy? - i dont think either of them would ever lie to each other per-se but i do think they both would try very hard to be positive and talk around anything that would make the other unhappy focusing solely on the brighter side of any situation 
Who is more experimental (in bed)? - I dont have a particular reason for this but my gut tells me its jellylorum 
Who is more spontaneous? - i think when they where younger it was jelly wanting to run off and see the world and become an actress but now that they are older and settled down its jenny whos such a hard worker that shes always coming up with new wild and inventive ideas too keep the junkyard interesting and productive even if it is something as absurd as jumping headfirst ino teaching mice how to sew
What do they do to cheer up each other on a bad day? -  jelly will sing to jenny and hold her so very close and tells her everything will turn out all right in the end where as jenny will tell cheesy jokes and bake cookies filled with love and will kiss her sweetly 
Is there something they’d like to change about each other? -  jenny sometimes wishes that jelly would be a bit more active when it comes to helping run the community and jelly kinda wishes jenny would find a healthier work life balance instead of running herself ragged all night and sleeping all day  
How do they describe one another to other people? - jenny just love to rave about how beautiful, kind, and talented her wife is and jelly does much the same 
How are they both handling money? - they aslways seem to have just enough money to get by in their cozy little home and give everything else to help others 
Who is the more romantic one? -theyre both equally romantic but jelly is more romantic with words and jenny is romantic through actions 
Lazy days or adventure together? Who prefers what? - when they were young the both perfumed adventure especially jelly but now they’re much more content to have lazy days at home in each other’s arms   
Who is the one to more likely initiate sex? - Jelly usually its an excellent way to convince Jenny to take a break and relax 
If they had a pillow fight, who would win? - Jenny for sure! Mistoffelees absolutely got his competitive side from her 
Who plans more cute surprises for the other? -   Jenny again! always coming up with new ways to surprise jelly whether its in small ways like bringing her flowers and breakfast in bed or bigger ways like organizing a show or big community wide event in her honour.like a big dinner party or a play 
Skimbleshaks/ Asparagus
Who is the clingy one? - Asparagus to an extent because skimble has spent a fair amount of time away on the railway so Asaparagus like to go out of his way to cherish they time the do have together  
Who is more likely to admit a mistake? - Asparagus because Skimble really likes seeming like the cool uncle who can do no wrong and tends to exaggerate a lot and something has to go really wrong for him to fully fess up on the other hand Asparagus is a fairly straight forward and blunt cat most of the time and woldnt really have a problem calling himself or any other cat out 
Would they lie to make each other happy? - Asparagus? no Skimble? yes but hes feel bad a lil bad about it  
Who is more experimental (in bed)? - i might have watched cats 2019 one too many time but something tells me skimble is a bit of a freak in the sheets
Who is more spontaneous? - Skimblehanks hes just so excited by life and ready to seize any moment and follow his heart and thats kinda ehat asparagus love about him  
What do they do to cheer up each other on a bad day? - curl up by a warm fire together while skimble tells stories of happier times, maybe crack a few dad jokes, and asparagus is always ready to hold his paw and lend an open ear  
Is there something they’d like to change about each other? - Aspragus wishes Skimble would take a bit more of a break from being a railway cat and just be home with him and tumble 
How do they describe one another to other people? - Skimbkleshanks would describe Asparagus ans being terribly smart and handsome where as Asparagus would describe Skimbls as being a massive dork
How are they both handling money? - Asparagus is a bit frugal and Skimble dosent tend to concern himself with finances and instead just buys and collects a bunch of kitschy knickknacks from all his travels and lets asparagus figure out the rest 
Who is the more romantic one? - Skimble! hes not always around but when he is hes always 100% there ready to shout the utmost praise and adoration from the rooftiops to a sickeningly sweet degree at times 
Lazy days or adventure together? Who prefers what? - Skimble is always about adventure and asparagus prefers lazy days 
Who is the one to more likely initiate sex? - Skimble he his just a very acrive person in all sorts of ways 
If they had a pillow fight, who would win? - Asparagus but only because Skimble lets him win 
Who plans more cute surprises for the other? - Skimble and he typically gets jenny involved as his co conspirator when it comes to said surprises  
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chrissymcdermott · 8 years ago
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If You’re Thinking About Moving to LA...
Consider This Advice From A 1.5 Year In Transplant
A good friend of of mine recently told me they were considering moving from Philadelphia to Los Angeles to pursue their career in the entertainment industry and asked for my advice. A year and a half into living out here, after being asked for my insight, it felt like a good point to take a moment and really evaluate where I was at with everything. With that in mind, I put a bit more effort into crafting a thoughtful and at times brutally honest response.
Below is my advice to that friend considering the big move. You’ll notice a few names are redacted as to protect certain individual’s privacy (and to not shoot myself in the foot professionally.) I hope this will be helpful to a few of you folks out there considering becoming an LA transplant. Especially if you’re coming from another part of the country that feels distinctly different from this mega metropolis.
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Hey Friend,
As I was writing this I realized that this is the first time I'm really truthfully reflecting on my experience living here so far. It's hard to do when you feel like you're always in the thick of it. Obviously this is a whole lot to digest but I believe it's all valuable insight. I hope you feel the same way. Take as much or little from it as you like but I do think it's worth reading the whole way through. Take your time but once you're done, let me know what you think. :)
First, I think the most important thing to note is that I don't regret moving out here at all, but it's taken me up until recently to feel that way and you'll see why as you read on. It's absolutely true that if you have greater aspirations than what Philly has (or most other cities have) to offer, coming out to LA is a logical move. That said, an important thing to remember is if and when you do, you're one of tens of thousands of people doing the same thing every year so it's unbelievably competitive and everyone is gunning for the same jobs. Far more than what you'll experience anywhere else, even in New York according to my former New Yorker friends out here.
Moreover, even if you're tremendously talented, your odds for getting noticed let alone hired are much smaller so you have to plan accordingly. Ideally, people move out here with either a solid job or several freelance gigs already lined up. Realistically however, there are always a million variables at play that will determine whether that's actually the case or not. Sustainability is imperative. Everything you do in preparation for when you get here and when you arrive has to be focused on making sure you plan months in advance as much as possible. I have tried to make it so even if I had zero work I could last at least two months while looking for my next gig.
Your Network
It's really great that …………… is helping you connect with people out here but be sure to build your network of people on your own as well. Use resources online to connect with people before coming out here too. Your success in LA is literally and intrinsically based on who you know and you can't count on anyone but yourself to build those relationships. I know it might sound a little silly or exaggerated but it's not - you will make it out here only if you have a strong network of people you can rely on and your professional (and to a big extent personal) survival out here depends on the network you maintain. You can apply to all the jobs you want but talk to anyone out here and they'll tell you 90% of all "industry" jobs filled are through referrals, phone calls, and emails. Most of mine have been so far. - On that point, whatever phone number you're going to use for connecting with people, keep it. It's crazy who ends up with your number sometimes, and if you change it, you risk missing out on potential opportunities.
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Money
In addition to building your network out and lining up any and all work, I recommend saving up at least $5k but preferably closer to $10k before you move - and plan on all of that savings being gone within the first year of living here. Also, keep the funds you save for living out here separate from what you budget to actually move across country, that should be it's own separate fund of about $3k if you're driving.
When I moved out I had about $15k saved up. Even with working freelance gigs fairly often for the first year, (at worst I'd go about 2 and a half months without a job,) all of my savings were gone in about 10 months. Granted there are big apartment move in costs, a decent chunk of money just spent on going out to meet people, and a lot of unforeseen expenses (you will guaranteed get lots of tickets in the first few months just getting used to the parking situation out here) but LA is just fucking expensive. I naively brushed that important fact off when we moved out here which was really dumb. Unless you eat fast food all the time just buying lunch is always $12+, $6 drinks are only the shittiest beers, groceries are nearly doubled, and rent is the biggest bitch of an expense. Unless you want to live in a terrible shit hole in a sketchy area, you're going to pay at least a grand a month for a studio apartment even in Hollywood - and no one actually wants to live in Hollywood. I live in a barely acceptable neighborhood in Koreatown in an ok 1 bedroom apartment for $1450 before utilities and other bizarre building charges. Prepare to spend half (or maybe more) of your monthly income just to keep a roof over your head.
The Actual Work
You will be a PA and you will have to be a PA for a while. No matter your experience, skill level, or professional value, if you want credibility and to have any opportunity to work at the level you're actually at, you're going to have to be a PA for a while and it will SUCK. It can honestly be soul crushing work but it's part of what you're signing up for when you move out here and this industry LOVES making people "pay their dues". This is another fact I didn't fully appreciate until trying to find work here.
My first full time gig here was as an Editorial PA on a studio movie. I worked for shit pay under some of the most entitled, privileged, complaining, awful people you can imagine. I know it sounds harsh but they were truly the worst people I've ever met and they were absolutely horrible to me. I busted my ass for 6 months and took a lot of abuse only to be fired because a bitchy 2nd Assistant Editor decided to sabotage me after I happened to see him sleeping in his car during work several times and he didn't want anyone to find out. I've never in my adult life had other adults be so unkind and say such awful things about and to me for literally no reason other than they're miserable bored people who are jaded by everything they're so fortunate to have.
When I was fired my immediate boss said she didn't know if I "just didn't give a shit, was too lazy, or too dumb to be able to do the basic job of a PA." - We both know I'm of course none of those things and she said that even despite me doing the work of the Post Coordinator on top of my own job (we didn't have one so it was a responsibility that I took on voluntarily in hopes of moving up) and the Post Supervisor and I having a great relationship. (Side note, after I was fired, a lot of the other people in the post department reached out to me and said that they were shocked that I was fired me and that I'd be missed. A few of them even wrote references for me so there are some good people too, haha.)
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To progress and work out here you have to be convincingly confident and have no ego at the same time always. You must walk around like you're the best fucking thing to grace this planet while still being humble enough to be the person responsible for nothing more than picking up everyone else's trash. One day you'll be on a rad freelance indie gig DP'ing and creating some awesome shit and the next day some middle aged Key PA is going to be screaming in your face for not getting something to someone quick enough. It's a bizarre fine line to walk every day but you make adjustments as you go.
Being intuitive and very observant help a lot in this regard. The best advice I received during this job was from the Post Supervisor. He explained that the reason he moved up and got out of PAing was because a producer noticed him picking up a broom to sweep the set he was working on. He said you should always be the person to jump up and help out with even the smallest task well before you're ever asked. The O.G.s always notice those who take that initiative.
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Why It's Actually a Good Thing
Alright, so this is where I've paused to read back what I've wrote so far and I want to switch gears because although it seems otherwise from what I've said, I do advocate moving out here if you feel like it's the right decision for you. As I said at the beginning, I don't regret moving here and I'll tell you why.
In terms of that soul crushing PA job where I spent the 45 minutes driving to work every morning dreading the 12+ hour day ahead of me, I learned more in those 6 months about working for studios and working in LA than I learned about filmmaking and production in my 9 years in Philly. I learned what people are actually capable of being like out here (both bad and good) and also what people are capable of accomplishing if they're able to survive and stick it out during the "struggle years".
That Post Supervisor I mentioned, his name is …………….  and he was one of the producers on …………….. Not only that but he was the guy running the production when they shot the infamous ……………. scene and the …………….! One day he sat with me for 2 hours and told me about all of his crazy stories from the production. Not only was it super cool to hear those stories, but this dude was having a blast hanging out with me and reminiscing about his hay days on …………….. That was fucking rad to say the least. - We're still close by the way, we check in with each other often.
Also, that job made me really realize how strong, determined, and resilient I am. I can take a lot and I'll get through it. Thanks to that job, I know my way around most of LA pretty well and am comfortable driving anywhere. I've also now finally wrapped my head around the concept of it being ok if you don't like people and it's also ok if people don't like you. I think most importantly I learned though that once I experienced it, paid my dues, and I got everything I could out of that job, I know not only what to look out for and avoid, but more importantly that I will NEVER let anybody treat me like that under any circumstances ever again. - I don't think that's something I would have learned had I stayed in Philly.
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In regards to your network, equally as important will be your group of friends and I'll of course be one of them. You'll definitely meet a lot of people that you think will be your friends and then they'll disappoint you. You'll also quickly realize that often even the seemingly good folks have alternative motives that you'll have to keep an eye out for. You'll meet some friends and lose them, you'll meet other people you really like but never speak to a second time, and then you'll meet the people that will ultimately become your family out here. They'll be your saving grace, your source of support, and the best distraction you have from all the challenges you'll face everyday. For me, most of them are also transplants from the North East and as I've gotten to know them more, I've realized that our shared values and perspectives allow me to trust them almost empirically. This is partially because if you’re not from LA a lot of the people here, and especially the people that are from here, are weird AF. I honestly think it's because they've lived in paradise so long and haven't had character building experiences like shoveling your car out of 3 feet of snow at 7am before a full day of work in February, haha. BTW, it's 72 today here soooo there's that. :D Anyways, thanks to the friends I've made, I've had incredible, life changing experiences that I'll remember forever. Exploring this amazing state with those people has been an invaluable experience that I'm grateful for everyday.
Money. If you're ok with and willing to be poor and struggle for a while (meaning an indefinite amount of time), you'll be fine. Living here is an endurance test and a war of attrition but you'll eventually be able to get back to a comfortable living. You just have to stick it out for a while. It will brutal sometimes and you'll eat a lot of horrible cheap food but at the end of the day, knowing you can live for two weeks off 20 bucks is something you'll come to be proud of. Poverty almost seems like a right of passage out here in its own respect and it galvanizes you as a person. This brings me to my last point.
LA is fucking wonderful, awful, weird, confusing, infuriating, amazing, encouraging, defeating, and beautiful all at the same time. It's like living in the weirdest dreamlike world that you love and hate emphatically all at the same time. I go back and forth between loving this city and loathing it intensely ten times on an average day. I've been at my very very rock bottom here and my highest high. I've also learned so much that I honestly think it will take me a decade to fully comprehend everything I've exposed to in the last year and a half.
I'm proud to be here and I'm proud that after everything, I'm finally starting to believe I'll be able to survive here... but if I'm being perfectly honest, that still feels like a toss up everyday. Despite that, I'll never be the same person I was before I moved and that's a good thing. At the end of the day, I know now that so long as I can stick it out, stay tough, work harder than I ever fucking have, and endure, I'll be able to accomplish everything I moved out here for and more.
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If you're truly willing to sacrifice everything, realistically start all over from scratch, and relentlessly fight for the life you want, then do it. Almost daily I think of the beautiful house, great job, amazing friends, and comfortable life I had in Philly but I know I can never go back to that and I'm ok with it. Life is more exciting out here and if you do it right, it will change you for the better. And again, I'll be here to support you through all of it if you do decide it's the right move for you.
I think that's enough to chew on for now. Because I'm a huge cheese ball, I'll end with this:
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Keep me posted and feel free to hit me up with questions or anything else whenever.
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