#but i think even rn theyre acceptable
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not to toot my own horn but i really do think the new theme is cute toot toot bitches
#idk! i like the colours i think i did a good job#also smth that Gets Me when trying to make headers/wallpapers/etc is line weight#bc i dont make the pfps myself but i DO make my own headers (after picking a pfp). thats why they always match really closely#so those cute lil doodles you can add. i NEED to make sure the line weight and type of pen used all match#esp if theyre all the same colour and then theyre different textures/weights#i hate when im making smth and one doodle is clearly done in 'marker' and the other looks like chalk. i straight up wont use them together#and if i have to resize them to make the line weights match and suddenly one of them is HUGE compared to the other?? i HATE that#so im particularly proud bc all the doodles AND the text look roughly like they couldve been done w the same pen#levi.txt#my one thing is the gears weight are a Little thin in comparison but thats fine. i might resize them later just to make myself happy#but i think even rn theyre acceptable#i originally wanted to use a lil more pink too but honestly? its nicer this way i like it as it is
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as someone who isnt super excited for sotm for certain reasons I am really glad that like. it's clear that since ruin theyve been setting up for carnival and sotm IS carnival. so now that carnival is finally coming out, afterwards theyll be moving on to other plotlines since the main villain stuff is sorted out
I'm just rlly happy to finally see a clear direction for how the story is gonna be playing out with like "okay these games were leading up to this so after this will be open possibilites" instead of like. absolutely no info about each upcoming game and being left guessing before it releases and just having to wait and see what's in it and if anything you're looking forward to will be in it
it feels like they have a plan and a solid direction for what they're trying to do and after carnival releases thatll be all that buildup coming to fruition. & we already know from the Scott interview that theres another release 'beyond sotm' that's 'super exciting' so maybe thatll be focusing on another big currently untouched (which is basically all of them) plotline, or even the big campaign game that dawko has been calling security breach 2
#even if i dislike how theyve been handling this whole mimic cassies dad factory mapbot bonnie bully stuff#the past like 2 releases 3 after sotm#after watching johns theory video it really does feel like stuff was more purposeful with thought put into it when u plug in cassies dad#even if the plot of him being behind mxes and trapping mimic is pushing other more important characters aside#its probably what happened and accepting that makes the story at least seem more thought out#it did make me feel better about it bc like. it at least feels like theyre cooking#like what theyre working on DOES have a direction and a plan and it isnt just random stuff like how it felt when hw2 came out#i might still think that the stuff theyve been doing the past few releases is boring af and uninteresting#compared to earlier concepts like focusing on vanny and the possession aspects and sentient glamrocks#(we could see more of it with freddy if theyd let him come back ever)#but like. at least it has thought put into it and feels like theyre actually trying to set shit up for something#like sotm is an ORIGIN#the tagline was 'sometimes you have to understand the past to see the future'#at the end of the day sotm is a setup for a campaign thatll take place in present day anf#even if its taking ten thousand years to get there im excited for it#aka its taken a long time to tell this story setup of cassies dad and mimic and shit and it might be boring for some people#(me)#but at the end of the day its meant to be setup explaining the past of why mimic exists (even if that's already in tbe books)#so after we 'understand' it we can get back to present day#and focus on its current victims vanessa gregory cassie etc#cassies dad is 100% dead if hw2s protag is him so he woukdnt be relevant anymore. just another character thing to serve cassie#im just saying like after sotm its wide open for getting back to the plot#and i think its actually right to say that bc like all of this has been setup. if hw2 protag is cassies dad its a prequel to ruin#so rn ruin is the most recent game in the timeline. meaning the next game that takes place in current tjme will focus on the current mains#Gregory cassie vanessa#sorry for fnaf plot posting again ive been thinking about it a lot the past few days#thought id balance some negative ive posted with a positive since im feeling better about it myself :)#one day we're gonna be so back and its gonna be great#its just gonna be a long annoying wait lmao#thoughts
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Everytime I look at Tumblr and see the tl I remember why I hate endgame with a passion you couldn't understand.
They fucked up Steve and Bucky so bad (yes, Bucky too bc suddenly he doesn't matter/isn't even a secondary character that deserves to be near Steve)
It's so funny to me (not) bc they talked about gay characters being in the movie at panels and interviews and even talked about Stucky at some point (basically queerbaiting) for then... Steve not even acknowledging Bucky. An awkward and impersonal hug doesn't cut it.
And Steve suddenly yearning and talking about Peggy? When he didn't even mourned her that bad and already had let her go ages ago? They knew they fucked up in CATWS with Steve and Buckys relationship, so they tried to distance them and then inserted Peggy bc ofc
(they possibly didn't have the time for a new character and they already had fucked up pairing Nat and Bruce and Wanda and Vision). Steve didn't have anyone else he cared about so they couldn't give him a new girlfriend. So they used Peggy AGAIN.
I'm not mad bc "Stucky not canon grr"
No.
I'm fucking pissed off because they did the worst character assassination and friendship assassination possible. Every movie of Cap America revolved around Steve saving Bucky at some point and him caring about him above all else, and you want me to believe that Steven Grant Rogers didn't care about him when Bucky died in front of his eyes? AGAIN? That Peggy's death was more important and impactful for him? If that was the case then why the fuck did he crash the plane then? If he cared so much about Peggy since forever?
No, that was just lazy writing and a way to reinforce Steve's sexuality "He can't be gay and you can't say that bc he LOVES PEGGY"(even tho he only kissed her once, even tho he crashed the plane and didn’t give her the coordinates, he didn't really care that much after all) they could have paired him with Nat in later movies, but they didn't.
That's why I only raise my eyebrows a lil when people say that x character will be gay canonically in a marvel movie/series. Is more than possible they won't. And if they are they're Deadpool, a secondary character no one cares about (obscure in lore too, so they can cut them off) or is plain queerbaiting again (because yes, even if you don’t see Steve and Bucky’s relationship as romantic, they DID QUEERBAIT IT)
Steve and Buckys relationship wasn't even written in a romantic way (you can ship them or not), but they tried so hard to rectify Steve's heterosexuality in endgame, that they fucked up their character arcs on purpose. And now they will always feel hollow and inconclusive. A bad taste in the mouth, a painful reminder of what it was and a what? 11 year long? characterization.
Idk man, I know I've talked about this more than three times, but omfg Tumblr reminds me why I hate that fucking movie!!! It's not my fault!!!
I know I'm going to end up writing something out of spite bc I can't take it shdkdjjcif
"It's been more than 4 years get over it" NEVER
Also the bit with Johnny Storm in Deadpool and Wolverine was also a dig (a fuck you if you will) to the fans bc Deadpool explicitly calls him Cap. And it implies that Steve as a character (not that old Steve nonsense) won't be back.
It's funny they've remade over and over again some movies (Fantastic 4, Spiderman) changed actors for characters (James/war machine, Bruce) and they include them in the multiverse/plot, but they won't do the same to some movies and some characters when they fuck up their stories, because they know if they do, they will have to acknowledge WHY they did it. Like with James/war machine changing actors.
So yeah, that's one of the reasons I don't care about Marvel anymore.
**I mean remake the movies ((Also they Can't remake Cap America bc that would mean they need to remake every important movie. And they don't have the time, the money nor the need. So that's why they decided to fuck their character arcs))
or include some characters in multiverse (they're going to do that with Tony/RDJ/Dr Doom after all, no?) and they also won't remake Cap bc the movies are amazing.
But the point stands. Steve couldn't be in DaW bc that would imply he's an alternative one or that Old!Steve was an alternative one or wasn't even Steve to begin with. But they couldn't do that ofc, no, bc that would give the fans hope in seeing Steve and Bucky together once again. So they did a dig at the fans bc "haha you thought it was Steve, but it's Johnny!"
Idk if I'm making sense at this point I'm tired af, need to sleep.
The thing is that they fucked up Steve Rogers's arc on purpose (Bucky's too, and others charas too tbh) and now they expect the fans to accept everything they give us with open arms. And imho I won't accept shit.
"Deadpool saved the MCU" how? If the other og characters are DEAD or they fucked them up too? Or are the butt of the joke now? Don't make me laugh. Most people don't gaf bout the new charas bc they only are presented in series not everyone watches (only available in one place) or are presented with characters that are dead now or as a replacement for the og characters. They aren't interesting on their own (not really, at least in mcu) and that's why most of the new stuff isn't liked as much. If they wanted to present more characters the opportunity passed already.
Also now if you want to watch and really understand 1 movie (if you don't read the comics too) you need to watch like 20 other movies and 5 shows. it's fucking exhausting.
#oh boy here we go again#im once again SCREAMING INTO THE VOID#anti endgame#anti marvel#i wrote this on twt originally#im really pissed off still#and so so tired#steve rogers#I don’t count X men bc the fucking timeline is more complicated than my brain can process rn#also weren’t they dead too?#idk I can’t remember atm#and I haven’t watched the movies in ages#the thing is I feel cheated bc they fucked up Steve and Buckys relationship specifically#and I can’t accept that and I really cant see Sam and Bucky suddenly being buddy buddy with each other either so TFAWS is a NO for me#also a notp noe bc people LOVE to hate on Steve and shit on him while they write stuff#also why I don’t believe anything Marvel says about having gay characters#if they really cared about representation or shit they would have assumed Steve was gay or at least bisexual or Buckysexual#but they queerbaited the shit out of the promos to give us that big fuck you in the end#and THEY KNEW they fucked up with CATWS because they went from theyre best friends to theyre kinda codependent in like an unhealthy amount#I mean assume in the other tag in a shit we fucked up ok well he’s this now kinda way#if you think about it Steve and Bucky are the almostonly characters that could be canonically gay or bi in the MCU (deadpool doesn’t count)#because they don’t have significant relationships with other people and even less with women#maybe Natasha? but they paired her with Bruce… when he has a relationship with Betty#THEY SHOT THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT AND BLAMED US#basically they got mad at us and broke their own toy bc they had a tantrum#so fuck you russo brothers#fuck you mcu#To the Tony isn’t straight crowd… they paired him with women only in MCU if I remember correctly#and yes I cant see Sam and Bucky as a couple#not sorry and if you ship them great! But i wont interact and not going to follow you bc i really can’t tolerate thst ship
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I always thought ding yuxi was so cute but i only recently noticed everyone on weibo and stuff talks about him like its commonly accepted that hes hideous??? like wdym u all thought he was ugly and now after yyxh some of u are grudgingly saying hes okay like am i crazy hes always been a cutie he does have huge features like a frog kinda but in a way that works for me its genuinely gaslighting its making me second guess myself
#i feel crazy reading those comments cos i do NOT accept that premise at all#putting him in the same sentence as liu yuning saying oh both the ML of the 2 competing cdramas rn are ugly#like WHAT are u on???#and saw someone say i switched to yyxh bc liu yuning is too ugly i GUESS dyx is slightly better looking#like SLIGHTLY??? theyre not even operating on the same level or planet or solar system#u either think dyx is horrendously ugly or u think lyn is not even that bad both of which makes me so worried#but this is the audience that also universally agree that li xian is hot and he is NOTHING of the sort#sidney talks shit#ding yuxi
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this tagline...T_^ thinks about how main story alrdy referenced other timelines such as boundary power captain & like all of the events currently on the anni page? isnt only the sara & cagliostro events missing? along with all the different jobs, like its ssooo cheesy but i alrdy rly loved that they rly do lean into the timeline thing with 'everyone experiences granblue differently', so seeing this...regardless of the intention of it
#stardust speaking !#gbf spoilers//#I THINK...gbf is such a lovely game. and i think its perfectly fine to only enjoy the parts u want in what capacity u want#when they first mentioned timelines i was Very concerned<3 but? with the way theyre doing it..................im very fond of it#im keeping track of food rn so i cant rly have the focus to put together my words like i want to#but i think saying 'u can experience gbf in ur own way' along with how they already handle events (even if at this point u often have to#accept the narrative that these ppl know each other (even if they often Are introduced within the event/story#so i feel...? its ok. probably. im not new anymore. but also having the tab on the preview page#that says 'hey these are the related events + characters' has been such a lovely change too#even on the anni page directly linking the imprtant chs?!?!? i think its cool! like! i would nvr look thro all that as a new plyr but!#i like it#anyway having 'soar to the cosmos' when cosmos isnt there on the page is a crime#like i dont supercare but i also do think its hilarious LOL
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thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.
#toy txt post#i love to make an alloaro oc whos a woman navigating a usually masculine role in society far before we ever coined aromanticism#whos Aromanticism informs so much about her but with no language to adequately describe it she doesnt really know how#and so she does kinda blow up her relationships by accident bc she does Want human connection#and what she Wants is to fuck someone whos friends with her and chill about it who will just be fucking Normal about it#and Not Make It A Big Thing and also for other people to not make it a big thing and they can hang out and be friends#but never fucking domesticize her. and its in part a rejection of the misogynistic role of Wife in historic (and even modern) society of#course but its also a rejection of the relationship hierarchy of Wife. of the romanticization. bc of her circumstances the only role on#offer of course has been Wife. but in the hypothetical situation where she was offered the role of Husband? she would at first probably#accept that. in theory. it sounds fine. sure. but if she tried to LIVE like that. to Live even as a Husband. it would Also be Wrong. to put#any of her relationships into that framework is to fundamentally ruin them forever. and she is living in a society that wants that to be#the only framework. anyway its crazy how ive made a character like that exactly Twice at least#(Bytte and Lucille. Bytte is a bit more genderfucky than Lucille. Lucilles gender is also ugly violent scary woman. for reasons)#both of these characters rn are cis. well. not /cis/ cis but theyre afab and women bc i want to explore that but i am thinking lately about#a transfem take. to explore. ive considered it and i dont think i want that for Bytte? all that means is watch out for future ocs#i could do a character very similar to Bytte as transfem and it would be really good but theres something about#and honestly it would probably make more SENSE for Bytte? due to gender roles in like ancient sparta or whatever?#but if shes transfem in sparta i think there would be subtle nuanced differences in how ppl interact w her that i dont necessarily want for#her? if that makes sense. i know this reasoning sounds weak in a vacuum but i Promise i have way more characters than this and i do want to#explore things differently. i promise there are complex transfem characters in witchverse and also complex characters whos asab im not#decided on yet. there are some im not sure i ever want to be decided on? the downside of being incredibly specific about fictional#characters is that it doesnt leave you all room for headcanons#sorry. good news is you can go make your own ocs about it 👍 idk. much to explore. much to think about#also sometimes a ''''cis'''' character CAN have a fun gender to play with honestly its just that mainstream media Never does#so theres no good way to be like no but listenn i swear its fun#anyway this is all moot cos im not a fucking writer im just making up little guys and doing nothing#also anyway. i think my gender is also aro and a little ace. personally. also before u get mad at me about these 2 ocs being like#probelmatic aro rep or smth: 1) aforementioned its moot anyway im not even a writer 2) these arent the only alloaro ocs i have its just#funny that i made this one twice lmao 3) my brain is huge. my ocs are rad. suck my ass. ♡#if only i Was a writer tho god. thered be sooooo many aro characters fr fr
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Good morning
Start your day off with cafelutsa from the only Boy ever
#im sure its morning SOMEHWERE in the world#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#mob#romanian stuff#romanisme#uh i think those are all of my tags k cool#last time i posted a ro meme i added context so heres some context:#the pic literally says hes offering u a cup of coffee and asking if u accept#its supposed to parody the kind of memes moms on facebook post. theyre weirdly popular rn i think theyre fun tbh#i wanted to be more creative but couldnt think of anything tune in next time for when i make one with reigen (hopefully)#my stuff#my memes#i swear i had tags i just forgot them i dont post og content like fking ever#this thing wasnt even supposed to see the light of day its like 1am and i felt like rambling in the tags of a post thats the real reason-#- this exists rn#hm should i also explain Shigeuț? nah im lazy k gnite#cine te a intrebat
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got desperate asf for some non-shitty heta fanfiction and said fuck it ill read the gerame fanfic cuz the author did make some good shit before (even tho i know it wont be THAT good since ill need to manually edit in my brain alfred as feliciano instead and make a whole extra unspoken lore to explain why feliciano is so ooc).... BUT LORD. IM CHEWING GLASS. IM CHEWING GLASS SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW. BECAUSE GIRL ITALY EXISTS IN THIS FIC AND OH MY GODDDD I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT LUDWIG STAY AWAY FROM THAT MAN STAY AWAY FROM THAT EVIL DEMENTED VILE MAN AAAAHHAUHWUSUDJJS STAY WITH FELICIA PLEASEEE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! LIKE STRAIGHT UP HE DONT EVEN LIKE ALFRED BRUH AND ALFRED DONT EVEN LIKE HIM. ill admit the set up is good (its like a 1950s au and the reason why i trust this author is a whole nother can of worms that i put in my drafts maybe ill drop it later) BUT I CANT EVEN CARE OR TRY TO CARE ABOUT ALFRED X LUDWIG BC FELICIA IS RIGHT THEREE AND THIS AUTHOR GETS THEIR RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER TOO. SHES LITERALLY LIGHT OF HIS LAIF MAKES HIM HAPPY IS SWEET AND NICE TO HIM TUGS HIM DOWN AND RUBS THEIR NOSES TOGETHER LIKE MOTHERFUCKER THATS TRUE. THAT HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE I SAW IT. SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WRITING THIS INTO A DAMN LUDWIG X ALFRED FANFIC IM CHEWING GLASSSSSS!!!! BC I KNOW FELICIA X LUDWIG WONT HAPPEN I HATE THIS STUPID BAKA LIFE I HATE IT HERE RAAAGJWJSIIEKDODKDKDKXKDKZKKS RAGE RAGE RAGE
so far its a genuinely good fic tho with some nice character development and being able to take a "real life universe" spin on heta characters which i find can rarely be done well! id rec it to any ameger fanheads out there!
peace and pascal! <- (im sorry im lying. im lying. tw lies. no peace only pascal. sorry i lied on main. its a good fic thats true. but i want the earth to explode. feels like im shoving my dick in an anthill)
#to be fair i read all non itager ship fics by mentally editing whoevers with germany to be italy bc i believe they love eachother in all#universes#but this author is making it real hard bc theyre genuinely good at like time era and how nationality plays into identity so i have to#do mental gymnastics and create the most batshit reasons ever to keep it itager in my head#but yeah THIS ONE ISNT LETTING ME FUCKING IMAGINE BECAUSE ITALY IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE#GIRL ITALY IS RIGHT THERE AND GENUINELY ACTS THE WAY THAT ITALY AND GERMANY ALWAYS INTERCAT WIF EACHOTHER LIKE IT ISNT EVEN OOC#THEY HAVE INTERACTED FOR A SOLID LIKE PAGE AND A HALF AND I SHIP THEM SO HARD SHES SO NICE TO HIMM#THEY RUBBED THEIR NOSES TOGETHER EVEN MOTHERFUCKER I THINK THEY DO THAT!!!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND SO WHY DONT YOU PREACH?!?!?#YOU KNOW THE LORD IS REAL SO WHY DONT YOU FOLLOW THE TEN FUCKING COMMANDMENTS!!!!!#no shade to this author too this is just my aids bc to me any ship wif those two freaks that isnt them kissing eachother is my antichrist#anything that aint itager is my antichrist fr#the other fic from this author was just so much easier to eat..#cuz to be fair in the other fic it was a germany torture compilation and he literally did not genuinely love the other guy at all#i think that fic was true because italy wasnt present in it and i do believe germanys life would be like that would italy#what no italy does to a mf: unimagimeable suffering#i can accept that fic bc yeah i looked the author in the eyes and said 'germany would never love anybody thats not italy in all universes'#and they went okie! sure! :D#sorry guys im getting sepsis rn okay robooty when he faces the antichrist
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to this day people still say the stupidest shit ever about connor. like I swear they played the game on mute and w their eyes closed. absolutely zero critical thinking on why this character is like that and why they made these choices. also? not every assassin has to be charming and witty, it would actually just get very tiring, and I'm very glad they never pulled that with connor. he still remains one of the best and I'll die on this hill.
#im watching a stream of ac3 rn and its really hard to not get annoyed w the chat theyre so unfunny#I don't trust people who don't like or try to understand connor or desmond im over entertaining these clowns#but yeah this rant is brought to you by this one dude on the chat that said connor is the most uncharismatic assassin#so what? just bc he isnt like ezio or edward doesn't mean he doesn't have his own charms or isnt a good character?#maybe its just me. but there hasn't been a single ac game where i didn't like the protagonist#so whenever i see people say they didn't like xyz bc they acted a certain way. im just thinking. yeah. that's the point#i see this w jacob a lot. ppl say he was immature and caused problems. like yeah. hes supposed to be. do people know how characters work#anyway im too tired to continue but the points are there#six speaks#edit: stream ended and the chat boiled my blood fr. 'boohoo desmond died' what if i punched u in the face real hard#its not about desmond. i wouldve accepted his death if it actually made sense and meant something for the plot. but his death meant nothing#ubsoft sacrificed everything for something more soulless and profitable and its so frustrating and sad.#but the ac incels cant even comprehend good writing for a second so of course they don't care and don't realize killing desmond killed ac
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i fucking hate the people who translated the owl house into my native language.
like, my language is very gender and i already half expected something like this. this episode with raine came up and i was so fucking scared of what they'd do.
and then raine spoke and... okay. so they had a male voice actor. no more androgynous voice, mostly. okay. i can deal with that. that means nothing.
and then they went and used "male" pronouns
and i. i'm kinda hoping i misheard. i am so so so hoping i misheard.
like, they just went and misgendered raine, badly (and also turning their and eda's relationship hetero in the process like no she's bi! she likes nb folks too!)
and now all the kids who only watch it in my native tongue - they'll think they're a guy. but raine ISN'T a guy.
and like. i sort of expected this. i was afraid of it. but now i'm just... i'm so disappointed. there was FINALLY someone like me in media, and it's not a big deal, like raine's nonbinary, they use they/them pronouns, they're neither a guy nor a girl, THEY JUST EXIST AND EVERYONE IS FINE WITH IT!!
and they erased it. they just completely erased it. i don't know what i expected, but.... fuck them translators. FUCK them.
#im sobbing so hard rn tbh#i didnt think itd affect me this bad bc i thought i was prepared#but i was still HOPING#and now...... im. im just. there was someone like me! someone super cool whom no one questions and hey we even share lots of traits!!#and they go and just cut all that out. like the translators just.... idk. it feels like a part of ME has been ripped away#like this was me. this was someone like me. but theyre apparently not allowed to exist. people like me are not allowed to exist in media#thats the message im getting#it feels like being punched in the face#actually it feels like being beaten up entirely#like i know there arent official genderneutral prns over here except 'it' which wouldnt be ideal in this case#but! just always say their name instead of pronouns! make up new pronouns! TEACH KIDS NEW RAD GN PRONOUNS!!#but dont. dont take this major part of raines character away. dont take their representation away. dont take people like me away#how can society as a whole ever accept people like me when were not even allowed to exist on screen. when were explicitly erased#i hate this i hate this i HATE THIS#yeah its been like 5 mins plus and im still crying isnt it sad. isnt it pathetic#not on my part im allowed to be up in arms about this. its pathetic of the translators. DO YOUR FCKING JOB#a biscuit's rambles#toh
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bro idk if I'm gonna be at all coherent about this but like. when a character has a power or a trait or an ability or something that makes them cool/beautiful/special but it's also indicative of something wrong with them or something they hate about themselves or something that needs to be given up that will make them happier. like this was a part of them for so long, a defining trait, and now it's gone and they've changed irreparably. it was for the better but you still feel loss and grief and you're guilty about it because it's a good thing. that's so transgender to me. i dunno
#just like. i couldnt possibly imagine myself any different but now i have to#and even if that was a conscious choice i still feel like im missing something#these wings on my back were so pretty but they weighed me down so much#and now that theyre gone i feel free but i dont know how to live without them#ARGH this is kinda about vash. i was thinking about what he might think about himself and i got sad#he doesnt talk about his feathers much at least where i am in the manga but does he wish they were gone#does he accept them as part of himself? is he scared of what he could do?#then i got thinking about how even though theyre monstrous theyre a part of him#if they disappeared would he feel better? would he miss them?#ok i am MAD projecting rn i need to stop#not art
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getting crossed on a tuesday eating a peanut butter honey sandwich all comfy in my bed and watching youtube <3
#guys theres a kink club in the city where I live#theres actually a few but theres a queer owned one i really like#but most of their events and stuff are 21+#which is very smart and it makes me super excited to go when i turn 21#bc like theyre very safe about how they do stuff and plan things#but im so close to being 21 and they keep having really fun and interesting events happening for spring and I'm bummed i cant go#but also i turn 21 the day before pride 2023#so ill be fine#just thinking about how excited i am to get real world experience in the community and stuff#and meeting new people and having fun and stuff in a safe and accepting environment#esp bc im very large chested and have a p feminine frame still#like!! im seeing the differences and my legs are getting very masculine and my shoulders and arms and back are also getting there#but i still am seen and treated as a women by strangers i guess#and I think a big reason i have this blog is bc i actually like some of the more feminine parts ofmyself#but i have to become such an extremely masculine version of myself in public bc that's the only way people will actually see me as like#my actual gender#which sucks bc if i was cis i would get to wear whatever i want and listen to whatever i want and do makeup whenever i want#and i looovee dressing slutty but i cant rn bc of dysphoria !!!#and i think even in the short amount of time having this blog#ive been able to get over som#e of that and like allow myself to breath#and touch my body and desire my body#and have other people touch and desire my body#and im not desired bc i 'look like a woman'#im desired bc im a man who enjoys being feminine#which im sure i would have struggled with this as a cis man aswell#but theres just like an added layer there to it#internalized misogyny#and performing for the worlds externalized misogyny#sorry im not making sense
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hope my dr gets back to me abt the change to private service I messaged her last night saying it Should be okay and asking for info abt fees n any changes.. so painful communication is now gonna cost £360 per hour/£6 per min 😬🤕
#my roomie works at a law firm and is always talking abt the insane charges some of the solicitors have per hour#and this is like. even worse than that 😭#ahhh... but the thing is elvanse DOES work for me i dont wanna quit it i just need to figure out how to manage the crash#whether its like. a lifestyle change or a second med. and i dont necessarily need to take it every single day#maybe introducing med breaks a day or two a week when i dont NEED focus would work#being unmedicated was fine. but it would suck now ik meds can help to then lose access to that#ill take today off the booster then thurs and fri ill halve it bc i think the full dose is a little high n thats why it bleeds into sleep#dont have to write my next symptom report til sunday so i have some time to test it#i wish 10mg vyvanse was available in this country like taking that w lunch might be better than the dex#well maybe i could try halving one of the 20s i still have n do that saturday#figuring this shit out!!!!#meds arent perfect anyway theyre not a cure-all for my adhd. there are some things im gonna have to work thru on top of that#but its like. they resolve the lowest couple tiers on the hierarchy of adhd symptoms for me. which is a massive jump#n its just 4 more weeks of trialling it that i have to pay for. and so long as my gp accepts shared care ill have indefinite access#and for MUCH much cheaper. the only risk is shortages but lets not consider that rn 😭#okay not thinking abt this anymore i gotta clock in.... see u on the other side homosexuals in my phone#.diaries
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anyways. >> i think gods are boring in a narrative so i ignore them super hard >> smt
#Shitpost#no i cannot explain this#Jk i can its because smt is actually built upon jt and built upon exploring so many aspects of the theme that#like. Its the ONLY one i so readily accept#Previous posts about dishonored and smtiv specifics aside#u know what ELSE i find super fucking boring? Dnd gods#dnd gods ruin the whole universe of dnd to me i fall tf asleep#i cant get too into it because im like yeah i cannot give two shits about the gods in this universe and theyre too important#i clash with this even more as my preferred class is paldin#but also the world drips in it in a way that makes me all like. Yuck#i know theres other examples but i cnat think of them rn#im trying to mke myself sleepy by being petty#its not working
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Not in the US so can't speak for what's happening there, but I've def noticed here that healthcare workers are struggling with dealing with sicker patients than they felt they were getting before covid and lots of them are mentioning a lack of immunity thanks to lockdowns. every time I hear it I can't help but think that the increasing desperation thanks to years of underfunding that's really beginning to have an impact since covid (because the pandemic served as the last straw on the camels back there AND because it showed our government that they could neglect the vulnerable to the degree that they were dying by the thousands and still nobody bothered to blame them.) Is a contributing factor in this and I don't understand why nobody is mentioning it???
We're getting sick because we've spent decades being bled dry and now we're hungry, stressed and being worked to the bone. Meanwhile we aren't getting any kind of return on the money we're pumping in to the healthcare system and our governments aren't doing shit to address health inequalities or any of the factors contributing to everyone's poor health.
If you look at covid death statistics, if you look at which countries are currently suffering from supply problems; a job market bursting with unfilled vacancies, civil unrest and protests, strained healthcare systems, and all the rest; the countries at the top are those that have allowed capitalism to call the shots for the past century, more than the rest. That is why the UK and America have been so badly impacted. Its no accident that we are paying so heavily, this system started with us. We forced it on the rest of the world and now, we're the first to pay the price. There is a direct correlation between the impact being felt post covid and a countries wealth divide and I'm tired of everyone ignoring that.
I look around me and People are going hungry, the food they can afford to buy is lacking in basic nutrients, of course people are sicker! Even if you can afford them, the shops keep running out of vegetables! Our health system was already breaking and then, we were hit by a pandemic it was completely unprepared for (tho it should have been) and now, people are getting way more ill than they need to before they finally reach hospital. When they get there, the hospitals are understaffed (thanks to years of underfunded budgets and the extreme stress so many health care workers were put under), we keep having drug shortages because our country keep straight up refusing to pay how much things cost, and what they are willing to pay, goes to pay about ten profiteering middle men at each stage of the supply chain.
People are massively stressed thanks to the cumulative weight of a completely broken capitalist system and those in charge are more worried about lining their pockets for as long as they can until the whole thing collapses, rather than actually trying to address any problems. Stress IS something that's known to weaken immune systems so why are we blaming something that MAY affect them??? Extreme rises in energy costs have meant everyone's spent a winter without adequate heating (even those that can afford it are revolting at the increase and so are trying to cut costs by using less energy.) Again, insufficiently heated homes are also known to affect immunity. And that's just the people who still have safe homes! Masses of people have been made homeless recently thanks to rising rents and mortgages which were already unaffordable, our housing stock is largely dangerous, with homes falling in to disrepair because landlords are barely regulated and when they do break laws they go unprotected.
Is anyone surprised that so many people are getting so ill and not getting better? Cause I'm not.
It's startlingly obvious when you start looking at the health divide between those who have spent 40 years subject to the whims of poorly restricted capitalism and those able to opt out. Medical technology is improving, but healthy life expectancy is now dropping year on year, because there are more people living here without the capital to turn away from jobs that will break them, than there are those whose inherited wealth opens doors away from employers that'll ask you to pay the price of bodily health, so they might strengthen profit margins. Its just basic averages. 1% of our citizens are standing on the backs of 99% of us and wondering why more and more of that 99% are getting sicker and sicker. The labour market for working class people has been allowed to drain its workers dry for years now. The progress made in the early to mid 20th century has slowly been worn away at, with the labour laws we fought for, only being accessible for an ever decreasing number of people. The laws are still in place but no low wage employer bothers to follow them any more than they have to. Do you know how many people I know who've been working without breaks, going unpaid for extra hours, been forced to follow unsafe working practices that they know are illegal and then being forced to lie to protect the employer that put them in that position? The people being broken by companies raking in billions, as they flaunt labour laws, don't have any means to access justice! If you complain, you lose your job. If you take them to court that costs money and that company is willing to drag out proceedings for years till you run out of the money needed to keep things going.
When i look at how much money is being wasted in government budgets, while the people responsible for making that money, see little return; I can't help but think of various theories for why certain societies in history have collapsed. (If you want to be really worried about the state of things, read the Wikipedia page on societal collapse. Spoiler: most of the potential causes of societal collapse have already begun in America and the UK. That guy who wrote that article saying America was already past the point of collapse might have been right.) One theory behind the bronze age collapse is just that... societies became too complex. A society where the 1% are given too much power over the 99% becomes one great big pyramid scheme. Unnecessary burecracy at every level (designed to squeeze as much wealth possible for the person overseeing that level) results in those at the bottom, working themselves to death and still going hungry. The theory goes that there comes a point, in societies like that, where the workers look at how they are living and just...walk away. They decide that the security once offered by that society isn't worth what it's costing them and fuck off to become farmers, preferring a life of hard work and little security, to what they had been living. Without the workers, the system breaks down. The only people getting fed are the ones growing the food. All this stupid stratification. Allowing every supply chain, business and institution to become unnecessarily complex just so on each level the people in charge can let their mates get a foot in on the profits. All these middlemen. Business consultants. Supply chains allow for a product to be sent back and forth from country to country just so more people get a cut. Its no different to any other pyramid scheme so why the hell are we allowing it.
We need to start telling our politicians to show some goddamn accountability for this shit. Stop accepting them skirting responsibility for being at best: Inept and at worst deliberately negligent. We all need to stop supporting a system that's hurting us all. In the hope that we might be one of the lucky ones. That's not the reality of things. We'll only get out of this hole we've inadvertently dug ourselves in to, if we stop fighting each other and work together to demand change.
You know how sometimes you catch someone in a lie, and so they tell an even bigger lie to try and cover up the first lie they told?
Well, that’s happening right now.
Last winter, a handful of celebrity doctors went on mainstream news networks to assure us that Omicron was “mild.” They carpet-bombed us with articles and tweets, doing their best to brainwash everyone.
They were wrong.
In the end, real science junked that idea. An article in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that Omicron killed more people than previous variants, even when adjusting for other factors. Another study by doctors at Massachusetts General and Harvard Medical found that Omicron was just as deadly. In fact, “the risks of hospitalization and mortality were nearly identical.” As it turns out, the entire idea of “mild” Omicron was based on an old, flawed idea known as the law of declining virulence, developed by a doctor who was studying tick-borne disease in cows. It was debunked decades ago.
Most epidemiologists know that viruses don’t magically evolve to become milder. Virus evolution is random and chaotic.
In some cases, viruses evolve to become more deadly.
A handful of actual scientists tried to explain all this last winter, including disease experts at Johns Hopkins. A handful of other established experts spoke out against this myth. As a microbiologist at Penn State told Politifact, “You can’t just say it’s going to become nicer.” They were largely ignored, because everyone already sort of believed the misinformation. If they knew it was based on a study about cows, they probably would’ve thought twice.
This year, the makers of “it’s mild” are back.
They’re selling “immunity debt.”
We should be skeptical.
Schools and daycares are sending letters home to parents talking about this “immunity debt.” They’re saying that healthy children are getting sicker, even dying, because they weren’t exposed to enough germs over the last two years. Newspapers and TV stations across the country are running with it, proposing it as a “possible reason” for this year’s explosion in pediatric hospitalizations. Meanwhile, major medical organizations have sent a letter to President Biden urging him to declare an emergency over an “alarming surge of pediatric hospitalizations” due to a range of respiratory viruses, including Covid.
A lot of people are drinking the “immunity debt” kool-aid.
After all, Americans have believed for generations that getting sick is “good for you.” We think our immune system behaves like a muscle. We worry that if we’re not giving it a workout, we’ll get weak.
It’s a myth, just like the law of declining virulence.
Here’s why.
#to be clear#i do not think that the answer is waiting for a violent revolution#this is far from the first time humans have found ourselves in this kind of mess. if we look at all the times this has happened in the past#well. on that scale the French revolution may as well have been yesterday and look what's literally happening in france rn#killing the 1% has absolutely no lasting impact and the cost to get there? is mostly shouldered by those that system was opressing#and no. i don't think we should all just walk away from society and become farmers.#i know the current system is breaking us but desperation does not account for logic. most workers do not have the ability to grow a steady#food supply. that's why we built societies in the first place. different people are good at different jobs#here's what i do think: the society we've built belongs to the workers. it's the fruit of our labour#not those who have drawn invisible lines so they might argue that they own our labour. we all need to think about that. when we vote#they are there because we put them there. they know it even if you don't. stop giving power to people without your best interests at heart#the reason workers in france have had a better time of things than in the US till now? their government are scared of them#until now. the French government have had little doubt in the fact that they are where they are. because their people are allowing it#they haven't pushed too hard because they know if they do. theyre gone.#lets bring a bit more of that energy to the rest of the world in 2023. exercise your vote and when they're pushing it. let them know.#our governments are getting militant and trying to prevent protest because they are scared. they know they have little power.#it's the equivalent of a schoolyard bully throwing a punch. in the moment. they seem unstoppable. but they aren't.#there are more of us than them and they need us to cooperate for any of this to work. if we walk away: they have nothing. they know that#there is only one way out of this. that is via slow incremental positive change and not giving any ground when it comes to#the value of human life. while we're fighting each other. we're too damned busy to consider fighting the 1% taking advantage of us all#stop fighting any of the 99% and start acknowledging that if you start helping the people in this with you where you can#(yes even if you don't like them)#the 1% are heavily outnumbered and there's no benefit to any politican who tries to serve them while the 99% know who holds the power#we let this happen. though we didn't know it. but we don't have to keep letting it happen. not if we remember who the real enemy is#start demanding accountability from those sacrificing the good of the many for the few. do what you can to help any one you can and start#expecting the same from everyone else. you don't need to like or agree with people to accept that their life has value and fight with them
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the real thing i want to know is what the FUCK is the girlies actual relationship when the world isnt ending. i need to see them interacting when the stakes arent so high. like clearly they care a lot of each other if ones willing to die for the other & the other has a mental breakdown over realizing the first isnt coming back & its her fault. are they dating
#apoptosis is harsh when she speaks & i think that extends to tenshi#more so out of habit than actually not liking tenshi#and tenshi has to be in over her fucking head if shes willing to talk herself into accepting being a sacrifice for her#theres so much going on with them#ik apoptosis says shes lying about 'doing it for [someone else]' but it feels like shes equally lying to herself too#likewise i think the whole 'sacrifice? better look for my replacement switch places & be at ease'#is a kind of. unrealistic thought. shes not considering what that actually means#and not that shes actually okay with tenshi taking her place#bc i think the signs point to that shes very much NOT okay with it even if she doesnt want to admit it to herself#id have to look thru apoptosis' lyrics again but im too tired rn. i know i had a point somewhere else in here too#for the record i dont actually think theyre canonically together but it reads to me like theyre into each other
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