#but i tend to use it as an umbrella term bc most ppl understand what i mean when i say that

[fallen-angel-adam-frankenstein]

I love these classical music "dark academia" type playlists but my god please people more pieces exist than Carnival of the Animals, Swan Lake, Moonlight Sonata, Clair de Lune, and the Chopin nocturnes like show me some random Fanny Mendelssohn composition I've never heard before PLEASE

[bi-lesbian]

I kinda vibe w bi lesbians cause I'm agenderflux & omnique (my gender changes depending on who I'm attracted to so that it's always gay), and I am a lesbian sometimes, and really wish I could express thatbut I feel wayy to scared to talk abt that because of how ppl would react to that? but seeing bi lesbians makes me happy! it's a similar boat of "using the term lesbian despite not being what most people consider a lesbian" ya know? anyways have a great day, keep bein urself!

ohhhh thats what omnique means !!! ive seen the word a couple times but never looked into it :Oo i didnt know there was a term (or That was the term) for that sorta thing !! i def vibe with that..

anyways thats super valid !! im sorry u feel scared to be able to express this stuff much, its unfortunate ppl are so judgemental/hateful about things they may not understand or agree with :( but you can defintely be open about things on this blog at least ! i like keeping this a safe space for all identities :33 and im glad to hear seeing bi lesbians makes u happy :D

and yeah, lesbian doesnt really have much of one solid definition to it bc it can be quite different for everyone- a lot tend to say its exclusively wlw, a lot of others say it includes nb ppl too, and historically its been an umbrella term for any wlw (before biphobes forced a change in the general public eye), and its still seen and used as such by many, many ppl. in the end, i think it should become common again for it just to mean they like women, whether exclusively or not. so if someone says theyre a lesbian, assume they only like women unless stated otherwise- much like how gay tends to be used (so theres still no excuse for shitty men to assume they can get with a woman if she tells them shes a lesbian).

anyways, i hope u have a great day too !!! and keep being your super valid self :333

[collectivedreamscapes-moved]

i just had the most random thought. well... two of them.

1) i remembered when Main Renee thought we only had a few boys in the system... and wanted to hysterical laugh. Cuz so very wrong.

2) of all the reasons system mates can form, can 'dealing with the dissonance and dysphoria of being trans' be one of them?

we were kids in the late 70s and early 80s. we didn't even know being transgender was a thing until our 30s.

we remember being inordinately confused by Boy George and Hollywood from the movie Mannequin because in our experience, we were informed multiple times in multiple ways that there was a Right Way and a Wrong Way to express your gender (ie we were always doing it Wrong) and we asked our mother one time why Boy George dressed like that (bc she listened to a lot of Culture Club) and she was all 'it's just part of his act' in this 'don't ask anymore questions' tone of voice. (this is a woman who would lose her shit if my brother didn't clip his nails.)

sexuality has always been easier hands down for us bc we didn't bother thinking about terms we didn't even know existed. we would just be: 'cute. 10 of 10 would bone'. regardless of gender.

gender is a confusing mess of '???' in our heads. along with gender expression. we remember Main Renee feeling ashamed bc she liked quilting and being confused as to why because clearly we were a girl and quilting in our family was an approved girly thing. so why be ashamed?

we laughed when we were scheduled for a hysterectomy and our mother and aunt were all like 'you'll still be a woman without ur uterus' because we were just like 'thank god! just take the thing!' and we were genuinely confused at all the comforting and consoling literature. like... being a breeder doesn't define being a woman? or does it? we didn't know and figured this was just another in the very long list of things that didn't make basic sense to us.

(and we'll tell you a thing. we know it's a fanfic trope and some ppl find it a helluva squick, but we love ABO bc it allows for normalized male pregnancy... even if we don't agree with certain anatomical presentations of it. because we had three kids and the guys in our system are PROUD to consider themselves Moms.)

when we learned about transgender and started actively reading up on it and was like 'oh! oh this is a real thing?!' we were dating a lesbian at the time and she was Not Pleased and told us she would have to break up with us if we pursued it and we were again... confused as hell. like 'what tf does it matter what our body looks like if you love us???' we had the worst disagreements about our chest. we mostly wanted our tits gone and she kept suggesting reduction instead. (she'd had one.) and we realized she didn't get it. so we left it alone.

the body is 45 now and we've been using genderqueer as a term bc it encompasses all of the system's various gender issues. we hesitated to use trans bc we felt like we didn't fit our understanding of the term. (we've since been told that genderqueer falls under the trans umbrella?)

so we've largely avoided specific terms (and lemme tell you, the whole aro umbrella was both eye opening and even more confusing than anything else) because people seem to have ideas and opinions on what they practically mean that just... do not compute to us. our spawn has tried to explain and watched us just... '???' ... as we tried to wrap our brain around it. and finally just said 'mom... you're prolly not gonna get it.'

sexuality is easy for us. once we learned the term pansexual we all went 'oh yeah this fits way better than bi' and haven't looked back. the rest? sometimes it feels like we'll never sort it out. so every year Pride month is... kinda painful. Because the things you see the most are people who are fiercely about 'this is who I am!' which is awesome for them. but us? it just kinda emphasizes everything that confuses the hell out of us.

as a system... we tend to lean towards genderqueer pansexual and quoiromantic bc trying to explain it is hard. we think we're likely more demiromantic to quoiromantic but we're still grappling with the fifty million definitions for love and the difference between 'platonic' and 'romantic' still baffles tf out of us.

individually.... our identities roam the map. some are ace, some are proudly gay, but all of that is still sexual attraction, which is easy.

the rest... not so easy.