#but i stg you guys just need to listen to his last two albums and read between the lines jesus christ

[jlf23tumble]

I’m all for LT sex god icon for all but I’ll never understand Eleano if he was actually (that) into women. Maybe during 1D for the early Larr of it all but to bring her back as a gf and keep her around - do y’all think he really liked liked her? And this is zero shade to her - she’s very pretty. It’s not like he had some good boy reputation to keep up and needed some long term lady for propriety. The math ain’t mathing for me personally but I agree with Jen that this new image is amazing for him and his career and I love to see him sexily thriving.

Well, I'm probably the wrong person to ask because it's my own headcanon that Eleanor has always been the Harry proxy, she was the surface relationship to the one just below, which is why I was always floored when larries would shit on her for being there because, uh, if/when they break up, GUESS WHAT is goin' on with the subsurface relationship that this one is covering up for in songs about long-term couple vibes, oops!

[skrrtscree]

Viva Las Vengeance is out so I decided to waste 43 minutes of my life and here's my thoughts.

Note: any song after Local God is my first time listening to it, so all these reactions were written as the song was playing.

Also I'm using the tumblr app so idk how to cut text sorry.

Viva Las Vengeance:

This song has already been shat on to death for good reason

The verse and the chorus don't fit at all with each other

And the slow part near the end is not it😬

Middle of A Breakup:

Just saying this now the lyrics on these songs are VERY on the nose AND unoriginal

'Keep your disco, give me T-Rex' tf is that suppose to mean???

It's meh. Not as painful as the first one for sure.

Don't Let the Light Go Out:

Said it before and I'll say it again: Ed Sheeran knock-off.

Shows that Brendon doesn't need uplifting beats and screehing to make a good song

Well 'good' is subjective but this is one fo the better ones.

Local God:

This song should be in JAIL.

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT IHATE IT-

Doesn't flow together AT ALL

It's 2022 Brendon why did you make an ENTIRE 3 MINUTE SONG about a guy you haven't talked to in YEARS???

Star Spangled Banger:

the title is a obvious lie, this shit ain't banging at ALL

Why is brendon sing-talking some parts in the verse?? Could he not fit all the lyrics in??

Good to know that the verse and the chorus not fitting together is gonna be a running theme throughout this album

God Killed Rock and Roll:

I swear the beginning of with the piano this sounds like a cheap knockoff of bohemian rhapsody

The musical flow of this song SUCKS so much its kinda funny. It starts with piano with an accompany of a chorus which is the only decent part of the entire song, then the pre-chorus has a quicker beat and the switch feels so abrupt.

I don't like that it sounds like brendon is trying to chase the lyrics in the chorus

Say it Louder:

Ngl the beat actually sounds good???

'For the people in the back(back,back,back) bros trying to create his own echo💀

None of it sounds out of place so far.. his voice does kind of sound a bit werid though its kind of expected of him at this point

OK nvm, it got slow again around the middle

Sugar Soaker:

The come on come ons do not fit the beat of the chorus. They fit the verses just fine though.

He's definitely making the choruses sound 'fulfilling' when it's just the verse but upped an octave. It just comes off as lifeless..

Wtf were those come ons at the end, its like hes creating dramatic tension through audio

Something About Maggie:

HELP NOT THAT HIGH NOTE FOLLOWED BY ALL THE LOW ONES, yeah that made me actually laugh

'Let him GOOO🤩' 'people say people say run away run away😈'

Sorry but the only ones who wrote a good line about slitting wrists were MCR and that was in 2004 🙄

Also Panic hasn't really been 'emo' since Fever (maybe Vices but that's pushing it) so not only is this line just yeesh it doesnt fit at all.😬

So glad Brendon decided to embrace his snake persona with how he's saying his s' at the end of sentences

'oh yeah'😚

Brendon PLEASE stop messing up the track by switching beats halfway through it

a a a a a a a a

Friendship ended with Sarah, now Maggie is my bestie

Sad Clown:

Title is kinda self-aware, ain't it?

Alright Brendon we know you were on Broadway but that doesn't mean you have to force yourself to sing like that on your songs

Only dogs can hear it I stg

Great he got slow AGAIN out of no where, cause that went so well the last time he did it (viva las vengeance)

All By Yourself:

Another self-aware title damn, he's on a kick with these.

He likes mentioning those posters on my wall. Ironically I have two IDKHOW and FØB posters and none of him lol.

Even with a slow song like this, it still feels like he's forcing himself to sing higher than he has to.

He was right about changing everything all by himself though.

This actually sounds pretty nice, I will admit.

Do it To Death:

What else is there left to say? It sounds the exact same as the other songs..

It keeps teasing me thinking he's gonna say something else-OH SCREW OFF NOW THIS 'shut up and go to bed' SHIT AGAIN

I sat through 40 minutes of your mediocre music just to get jumpscared with a viva las vengeance callback END ME

In short: im disappointed but not surprised. This doesn't even feel like Panic anymore. The lyrics are bland and repetitive, Brendons vocals are truely fighting on their last legs and the songs can't commit to a single beat. It's like he had too many ideas and thought he could execute them all but he couldn't. I can't believe this album is actually real, I refuse to listen to this ever again.

If the studio versions of these songs sound so dogshit, I canNOT wait to hear about the tour versions.

Bonus note: the song spotify decided to auto play right after finishing the album was Famous Last Words which idk whether to laugh or cry.

[dehydratedpool]

hello again!! it’s the beginning of a new month, meaning a new fic rec post!! here are some fics that i read this month that are just... exquisite and deserve all the love and attention <3 

there aren’t as many as last time unfortunately, since i was quite busy this past month, but i promise next month won’t fall short! ((fics that i’ve reread this month are indicated with a **))

Foolishly Laying Our Hearts On The Table [11k] by runaway_train @runaway-train-works 

“You think Harry wants that?”

“Dunno. Maybe. Wanna make him happy.” Harry takes advantage of the red light he’s pulled up to turn and look properly at Louis’ face. He’s not even looking in Harry’s direction though, focused instead on something out of his side window, head drooped, mindlessly playing with the string of his hoodie between his fingers, lost in his own world somewhere. For some reason, it makes Harry’s spine straighten.

“Because he’s your best mate?” Harry questions carefully.

“He’s my boyfriend.”

He couldn’t have heard him right. “What?”

Louis releases a deep breath, still not turning around. Harry wonders who he thinks he’s talking to right now. “He’s so pretty. Want to kiss him all day long. And buy him a big house and give him presents and marry him.”

Or; The one where Harry is in love with his best friend Louis but doesn't think he stands a chance until some wisdom teeth and a rather unusual confession might just change his mind.

--> this is a new comfort fic for me tbh. i got rec’d this after louis tweeted about getting his wisdom teeth removed, and i’m so SO glad i decided to give it a read. it’s so precious and lovely and personally, i found it to be a quick read. it’s the kind of fic that makes me both warm and fuzzy inside but also highly upset that i’m single and will surely be alone forever

Just Let Me [14k] by HelloAmHere 

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

--> ok LISTEN. as some of you know, i just recently got into reading a/b/o fics and this one is definitely at the top of my fave a/b/o fics out there. it’s an interesting take on the trope, almost a bit more realistic in my opinion, and to quote the author’s note, “’what if a/b/o but less biological determinism?’”. i believe i found this one through a masterpost of “touch-deprivation fics”, so if that’s your thing, give this one a chance!

my ugly mouth kept running [4k] by theankletattoo @hadestyles

Another seed, another try except they know what caused the first wilt. They will be careful, they will be kind and together they will nurture it to life.

sometimes second chances are more important than the first.

--> rori, the author, never fails to disappoint when it comes to all of her works. i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again, she’s so incredibly fucking talented it’s unreal. her imagery is so vivid and real it leaves simultaneously everything and nothing to the imagination. as usual, h and l’s dynamic in this is an addicting portion to this fic that has you anticipating how their dynamic will shift and grow up until the end. if you’ve yet to read any of rori’s work, i suggest you add that to your to-do list for the month, and get a head start to her collection with this one!

**As Wicked As Anything Could Be [21k] by whoknows @crazyupsetter

It starts when Louis decides that he wants to lose his cherry and announces that he thinks the best way to do that is by going to a gay club. Naturally, Harry can’t let him go alone, so he tags along and spends the night rating guys with Louis until someone finally catches Louis’s eye.

Harry shoves him out to dance with the guy, and he can already tell that it’s going to be a quick and dirty hook up, so he’s not surprised that Louis and the guy disappear into the bathroom ten minutes later.

It is a surprise when Louis comes out not even two minutes later, pale and clammy, grabs Harry by the hand and drags him right out the door.

Somehow Harry comes to the decision that it would be a good idea for him to be in the room with Louis while Louis gets laid.

It’s a stupid fucking decision.

--> i discovered this fic a while ago on a whim and i have zero regrets. this is absolutely on my top ten fave fics list (that has yet to exist but perhaps i’ll post it one day). whoknows is a well known author within the fandom, so i’m sure i don’t have to say much about their immense talent, but SERIOUSLY, their plot progression, even their use of dialogue is wonderful in every way. as a writer, i envy them lmao. this fic takes me on a rollercoaster every time i read it, it’s yet another comfort fic of mine and never fails to disappoint every time i pick it up again. please, do yourselves a favor this april and read this.

Keeping The Flame Alive [19k] by whoknows @crazyupsetter 

Recording with One Direction never felt like this. There’s a couple reasons for that, Harry thinks. One is that they did most of their recording on the road, rushed and in busses and hotel rooms, never in one place long enough to really get an argument going. The other, larger and more important one, is that back then he had the sweetest, meanest little omega around to distract him from all of that frustration.

The first time around, when he’d been recording his debut solo album, it hit him pretty hard. He likes to think he’s better adjusted to it now, but frustration is warring under his skin nonetheless. He doesn’t want to be told what to do most of the time, and he especially doesn’t want to be told what to do when it comes to his music.

What he does want right now is that sweet, mean little omega right in front of him with his mouth on Harry’s cock. Unfortunately, the best he’s got is his own hand and a shared toilet. So. That’s really not going to work.

--> yes, for the first time in dehydratedpoolfics history of fic recs even tho i’ve only been doing this for a month i am rec’ing the same author twice, but seriously, how could i not??? this fic took me on a literal journey like... wtf. i have no words. seriously, i have none, i’m just that blown away, go read it for yourself .

**a trail of honey through it all [27k] by bruisedhoney @yvesaintlourent 

The boy in front of him, well really, the man in front of him, was like something out of a confusing wet dream. Built, tall, tan and muscular, his skin glistened with sweat after a long day of working outdoors with his hands. He was wearing a cut up old American football shirt, the bottom hem was torn and the sleeves were cut off to the point where the t-shirt was really just a loose tank top. The shorts he had on had clearly been full length jeans at one point, and were now just crudely cut off above the knee. His white socks were pulled up too high on his calves, and the brown work boots he had on were old as fuck, the leather peeling along the edges of the soles. Curly brown hair stuck out from the edges of his backwards snapback, and there was a smudge of grease wiped along his brow bone. The smattering of hair along his jaw proved that he hadn’t shaved in a week or two, the hair growing in thicker across his upper lip and around his chin. His sinfully bowed mouth was pink and plump, and Louis was suddenly hyper-focused on the way that he chewed at the toothpick stuck between his lips. He looked like he needed a shower. Louis wanted to lick him.

Or, the TPH fic we’ve all been waiting for.

--> okay look. i may or may not have a slight obsession with this fic. i reread it constantly, mostly for the iconic line, “are we fuckin’ or fightin’?”, because how can i not scream over that?? ((also patiently waiting for the sequel)) this is a literary masterpiece, one that defines an entire generation of this fandom i stg. but in all seriousness, hayley, the author, does such a wonderful job of giving the reader a vivid look into “nowhere, georgia”, and as a southern gal myself, i absolutely adore the itty bitty pieces of southern culture embedded into this, the tiny quirks that make this fic authentic. i could probably go on forever on why this fic is so iconic, but perhaps you should read it for yourself instead *wink* *wink*

SO. that’s all for this month!! if you read any of these, first of all, be sure to read the tags and author’s note (if any) before starting, AND please don’t forget to leave a quick kudos or comment, it means more than you may ever know <3

[svtskneecaps]

@transparentnctseventeenperson YOU WANTED GUIDES HERE U GO I THREW MYSELF OUT OF MY BED IN EXCITEMENT SEEING THAT I STG

(people who know better pls check my work am baby)

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT: TRCNG is a ten membered boy group under ts entertainment that debuted in October 2017 with Spectrum and deserves the absolute world thank u. Fandom name is Champions, we waited for y e a r s and we finally have it

(unfortunately i don’t speak korean and can’t force myself to watch through videos i don’t understand longer than like ten seconds, and with a lack of subbed video content there’s only so much i know about personalities so i’ll have to mostly stay away from there,,,,, i’m sorry)

Music Videos Yeehaw:

Missing

Wolf Baby

Spectrum

Utopia (it’s a dance practice technically but i fuckin love that song)

Game Changer has an mv i think but it’s blocked in my country (and no, i don’t have a VPN :( i don’t trust myself to download things anymore))

Blogs on Tumblr:

@hohyeon-anti (translations and other things, they’re gr8)

@bapwoo (gifs and other things, they’re also gr8 and helped me out when i went full stan)

(i can’t give u pointers on any other platform i don’t use twitter sorry; hopefully those guys can fill in my blanks tho)

discord (i snagged the one from bapwoo bc that’s the one i joined?? idk if it’s the same as the one hohyeon-anti runs and honestly i’m too afraid to check yeehaw edit: have recieved confirmation, they’re the same)

Translation Accs on Youtube (that I know of)

Rising Subs (inactive; last upload was 1 year ago)

TRCNG Subs (inactive; last upload was 1 year ago)

(just as a side note there’s this great channel that does crack for them it’s adoringguk check them out too it’s not optional they’re funny)

Other better guides:

An Actual Helpful Guide to TRCNG (it’s like 40 minutes tho, the price we pay for helpful rip)

An unhelpful guide to TRCNG (shorter and from November 2017, a month after debut, but still a goody it’ll hand u the basics)

An introduction they did on Arirang/Pops in Seoul (i don’t know how to introduce this one rip)

Members (i’m using their kprofiles page to make sure i’m not spreading inaccurate facts):

again, i can’t speak for personalities beyond intuition so unfortunately most of these are gonna be p short i’m sorry take it with a grain of salt (most of my knowledge comes from the 20 or so odd subtitled vids on the channels i linked + whoever posts on instagram, but there’s only so much i can glean from short captions, and some people post there like once in a blue moon so,,, sorry)

(if people have anything to add go for it i’ll credit)

Yang Taeseon

September 2000

leader

lead vocalist

a whole beanstalk (5′ 11″ / 182 cm) {most of them are beanstalks honestly what are they feeding them}

why are most of the clips i see of him screeching from somewhere offscreen i adore him

Kim Jihun

January 2000

oldest

lead vocalist

he played the violin (so as a viola i am duty bound to duel him)

had an acting career

gets overexcited and is probably going to hurt himself (fell off his chair once rip love him)

Choi Hayoung

August 22 2000 (s o o n)

main vocalist

speaks english (he lived in LA at one point wow fancy)

s i r e n n o i s e (it’s almost as bad as the one by my house damn dude what are your lungs)

knows / is friends w nct haechan (we stan intergroup friendships) (thx bapwoo)

Lee Hakmin

September 2000

kprofile has him listed as ‘vocalist, dancer’ and i don’t know enough about roles to disagree

he’s left handed nerd

jongup fanboy no 1 (thx bapwoo)

Jo Wooyeop

September 2000

vocalist, dancer

likes coffee; nickname ‘sweet caffeine’ bc he’s sweet & likes coffee

can do a minion impression (honey i love u but you’re on THIN FUCKIN ICE)

reportedly has two dogs, the intellectual (thx bapwoo)

Kim Jisung whaaaat another kpop jisung whatever will we do

December 2000

high rapper

child actor (i’m pretty sure he met / did a show with nct’s jisung but don’t quote me on that; there’s so many jisungs it could have been any of them) (bapwoo says it’s cursed and we do not speak but idk car wash balloon jisung is still p cute)

(i had to add the pic jisung honey i’m sorry)

had braces pre-debut

a little bit camera shy in some of those old videos (dunno if it still stands)

HIS MIND WTF SOME OF THE THINGS HE’S WRITTEN (here’s an example, another example)

Kim Hyunwoo

January 2001

low rapper, dancer

him n jisung trained the longest

he’s got this lil peace sign like thing i keep seeing him doing n it’s cute

voice so deep it’s illegal excuse u

has a cat (thx bapwoo) (ARE THERE PICS OF THE BAB IDK I LOVE CATS dogs are great but they scare me rip)

Yoo Siwoo

May 2001

low rapper

SPEAKS RUSSIAN HOW COOL IS THAT

lived in Kyrgyzstan for awhile, kprofiles says 7 years but i cannot confirm (thx bapwoo)

breaking: siwoo’s hair in missing era kills hundreds, more at ten

Lee Hohyeon

October 2001 (he’s younger than me and yet oodles more talented how is this possible)

main rapper

writes lyrics for their albums w jisung (w ow)

reportedly hosted The Show w Youngjae (i’m assuming a bap member but i didn’t stan rip) (thx bapwoo)

Kim Kangmin

November 2001

main vocalist, maknae

also wore braces pre-debut

damn good at bboying (second video on this insta post he’s like a helicopter wtf where did physics go)

does short covers of various songs (his bad guy cover killed me; i can’t listen to the original anymore like i’m sorry i just can’t)\

i’d look up more shit but i already spent like 2 hours on this rip and i think that’s p good for the basics; again for older stans pls correct me or add to this if you need/want

THANK U FOR LOOKING THESE BOYS DESERVE THE WORLD

[sunniapplepie]

Sunni's thoughts on the Tryforce album!

I do this everytime GG puts out a new album (i THINK I did one for Cool Patrol also but i gotta check- ANYWAY)

Here's my post of what I thought of the album and, this is my opinions so not everyone will agree. Take it with a grain of salt, I'm just sayin how I feel:)

RATING SYSTEM IS 10/10 process. 10 being best, 5 being average, 1 being buttfucking bad.

Intro:

It was cute, a nice way to start the album off with a bang. I will say tho, I noticed the theme of "its our last album" really hangs over the whole tracklist from this and that kinda throws off the good vibes. Like, yeah its the last one, but maybe not make it a huge deal that it is.

8/10

Hardest Game in the Fucking World:

I'm in the middle with this one. On the one hand, it's Dan and Arin lamenting on how hard Dark Souls is (and tbh same), but on the other hand...it's literally them lamenting about how hard the game is. Also it's from their perspective and not a game character which is weird but a cool change of pace. The lady in the intro got me confused tho, like WHO ARE YOU???

6/10

A Boy and his Boat:

My favorite of the songs of the ones they did as an MV. I love the beat so much, it has that smooth feel to it like I wanna just chill out by a pool. Dan sounds sooooo good in the bg vocals, and tbh the Zelda raps are always the best so- I'm glad this lived up to the hype. Side note the Disneyland line got me all happy inside XP

10/10

Filling in the Name Of:

So I guess this is a Tetris one? It was a little hard to figure out what it was till I listened a bit longer- and I guess Arin is the long piece that gets used all the time. A pretty funny concept xp I got all happy when Brian showed up- boy needs to be in more songs like when he was in Release the Kraken👍👍 the guitar and Arin excitement is damn good too omg

9/10

Welcome to the Mario Party

Okay this is the one I got all butthurt about before when the video came out- it's supposed to be a smooth jam and Arin is imitating Snoop Dogg, but ehhhh it's kinda just meh for me. The bridge is okay, the beat is nice, I kinda love/hate the inclusion of TWRP, like them being in it makes it sound like a real party slow jam, but also kinda cramps the style of the whole album since this is the only song that has this style to it. Also Dan does fuck all in this one and sounds super monotoned- I liked the line about him losing his invite in the mail tho- but overall, meh

5/10

Dream Daddy- A Dad Dating Skit

....the fuck was this crap?

@ GG, please don't make it like you're money hungry, because that whole skit, makes Arin and Dan seem like they're doing this for quick cash and that's REALLY not good. Couldn't we have gotten a dream daddy rap? No? ....k then. Still sucks tho.

3/10

Donkey Kong Joonyer:

It wasn't good. Like...at all. Its honestly the worst rap of the whole album. It's a one note joke, repeated for the whole run time. And it's not funny. Kinda offensive, and also really fucking dumb.

1/10

A Wild Guitar Solo Appears!:

HELL YEAH A POKEMON RAP!

Honestly this one brought back memories of me trying to learn the last pokemon rap and then listening to the first one at my grandmother's house YEARS ago. A lotta nostalgia in this one, plus the guitar solo was pretty sweet. I will say tho, I don't know if imma remember this one as much as the others. Still really liked it but I feel the other two were better? Also loved the interaction with Ash and Pikachu, it was honestly hella cute. But overall, a very good song!

7/10

The Simple Plot of Kingdom Hearts

...alright so....

This was the song I was dreading because, you guys know I'm a big kh fan and I was thinking I was gonna love it or hate it. Honestly, this one is pretty cute, and I really liked how much the announcer was actually trying to make sense of the plot this time instead of getting butthurt that it's going on for too long xp I did notice tho, they only cover the first game and not the entire storyplot which Id say is a missed opportunity but also a good choice since you don't wanna confuse everyone like crazy, even tho the firsy game KINDA does that anyway. They also made it a big deal that hey, it's the last album this is the last song last last LASTONE, and I'm not a fan of that but fine -_- it was still cute tho- gotta listen to it again to catch the points of the game they made.

8/10

Arin Checks the Mic:

ARIN WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE SO GOOD AT RAPPING?? LIKE, I WAS IN SHOCK THE WHOLE TIME, HE SOUNDS SO GOOD, HE WAS GOLDEN

10/10

Blowing the Payload:

Eh. It's the overwatch rap and I'm not 100% into the game anyway from the one time I played and failed miserably, but I mean- it's an okay concept. Reminds me a lot of Robots in Need of Disguise, with it being super mundane but shit happens that completely ridiculous. I did make a point before tho, Dan sounds completely unenthusiastic the whole time and yeah he's playing a guy who's playing other people so the voice shouldn't technically change, but I feel like it should have just to make it funnier (like the guy is trying so hard to get into a character to come off convincing) but then again, him not giving a shit is also kinda funny? So meh, in the middle with that. Not a fan of Arin yelling the whole time tho- it's just got KINDA annoying. Just a smidge.

6/10

Vegeta's Serenade:

Im confused as to why there's a Dragonball rpa in a video game album but sure- OKAY ARIN I STG YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY, YOU SOUND SO BEAUTIFUL ACTUALLY SINGING THIS TIME AND IT'S SO NICE- WHY DIDN'T YOU AND DAN SING TOGETHER THO- MISSED OPPORTUNITY GODDAMMIT BUT IT WAS STILL SUPER GOOD

10/10

This Song Sucks:

Not gonna say this song sucks but- it's not....good either? Lol

It's also in the middle for me- its them poking fun at themselves for the album layout where again, they say it's the last one yada yada, guys don't hammer it in- we get it.

That aside, they were kinda just throwing out what I assume is scrapped ideas for songs they never did- sad but tbh I can see how this would be a good idea and I like it. The Sonic Boom slam tho, BEST PART AND I WAS SHOOKETH.

7/10

Outro:

A perfect sendoff to the whole album. Not my favorite outro but then again, the outtros and intros were never my favorite anyway? But it got me all sentimental- this is probably their last album (if jamming it down our throats that it was the last wasn't already obvious). But still, it's cute xp

9/10

FINAL THOUGHTS

The whole album itself, has this kinda unfocused feeling, like they don't exactly have a consistent flow of songs that go with the mood- its just a "throw to the wall and see what sticks" kinda feel, for me anyway.

I think in the long run, Player Select will still be my favorite along the albums, and Tryforce might be...number 2? Yeah the first Starbomb Album is not my favorite I'm sorry xp

Then again, Starbomb 1 had more songs I hated than actually liked, so this is an improvement.

As the last album goes, it could have been a lot better but for what we got? Pretty good! Had some stinkers tho, not gonna deny that.

Damn guys, this has been a long ass journey, and Starbomb-thought not as special to me as NSP, still holds a lot of nostalgia and sentimental value to me. Tryforce isn't the best of the albums, but its a really nice sendoff to all these years of Starbomb. Hope it isn't the LAST time tho...

[space-whalesharks]

for the three songs thing: 7, 19, 30? 😊 yeah... 9 songs is a lot... but you introduced me to Andy Grammar (top lad, banging tunes, 10/10) and now I need more recs bc you have the best taste 👌

Sidenote because I love that Andy Grammer comment: Listen I had a giant ass friendship ending fight with my best friend in 2017 and “Miss Me” ended up being my anthem for that year because of it. Like I finally get the “music saved my life” thing because of it now. Andy Grammer’s love, Andy Grammer’s life. 7) three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

Uptown Funk. I mean I think it was the same for everybody but I HATED it so much at first and thought it was kinda catchy but so dumb the first time I heard it but like… two weeks later I was scream-singing to it in my car. 

The most recent one is the song “Ready as I’ll Ever Be.” It came on my Spotify for some reason a couple of weeks ago and I went to see wtf it was and was all “Ew why is a modern Disney channel song on my recs- (the opening riff comes on, villain has that “I’m the bad guy, that’s fINe” moment) hOLY SHIT IT’S AMAZING. And a grey morality villain song by the sound of it SO THIS IS MY NEW CRACK”

Kind of going off of the last one’s logic, my parents and I went to go see Al Stewart in concert and there was an opening act The Empty Pockets. Al Stewart is … easily in his 70s so I expected the opening act to be in the same age bracket and I was not feeling it before they came on. Turns out they’re millennials (I should’ve known with that band name lbr, the three of us were the youngest people in that theater by at least twenty years) and they did this one song Find Or Fail where the female vocalist does this thing with her voice where she like… loops notes is the closest thing I can think to call it.It went straight to my heart. I’ve only ever heard one other person do it ten years ago and I almost cried on the spot because it’s just… so beautiful. If you listen to it here,  she does it like…. nonstop in the first twenty seconds.  They also have that very Deputy or Jacob-esque song “I Am Strong” so that’s like….#3b. 

19)  three songs that are your guilty pleasure

I’m so angry because I just did the paragraph for this one and labelled it as a guilty pleasure only to see that you asked for guilty pleasure songs so now I had to go pick another one. But anyway: Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do” like…. bitch needs to just accept the fact she got caught in a lie and move on and the “the old Taylor is dead” bit is the most pathetic thing in the world but GOD it is the best earworm and it’s catchy and I hate-love it for it. 

Can I just name Nickelback’s entire discography?? Like I think the whole “it’s cool to hate Nickelback” thing isn’t really that popular anymore but listen I LOVE MY BOYS OKAY, THEY HAD GOOD MUSIC … until like… half of the last album that was garbage. Also they know people hate them and make fun of themselves for it and I appreciate that. 

 Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkins is a really fucking fun, ridiculous, catchy song and y’all can fight me on this.  

30)  three songs you really want your followers to know (for reasons other than all those above)

It’s basically a meme now but Genghis Khan by Miike Snow. It’s catchy and the music video is amazing. Also has a hero/villain ship as the protags/plot. 

I’ve mentioned this song a number of times but oh well. Harry Chapin’s Corey’s Coming. It’s essentially just a story just sung, but the song’s so beautiful and the ‘punchline’ at the song gave me happy chills the first time I heard it even if you know exactly what’s about to be said. 

Also because Owl City is my instant mood lifter music and we’ve all been sad on main lately: To The Sky. I stg this one note in the beginning in particular sends out some note that makes my seratonin skyrocket and I HOPE IT DOES THE SAME FOR Y’ALL. 

[muchadoaboutm]

So I'm gonna talk about Bat Out of Hell the musical bc I went to see it yesterday and I am in love. I’m going through it v. incoherently one song at a time with random interjections, so the actual thing is under a cut bc despite appearances I’m not that cruel

The theatre was packed for one thing. It was mostly people who wanted to see it one last time before it closes next week, but I'm sure I wasn't the only person seeing it for the first time. And the thing I love most about seeing something with people who already know it is how they react. You feel the person next to you tense up before the bad thing happens, they're the first to laugh, you can hear them start to him along and then realise where they are and stop. It's a little magic I think, and I want so badly to see it again and I CAN'T. because it closes in less than a week.

It started gradually which I wasn't expecting, and then all of a sudden the lights went down, the spot light came on, and it was love death and the american guitar times one hundred. And the the sound filled the space---i didn't know you could hear like that. All revved up with no place to go went straight through me, and this is a song that is already incredible

There were lights and there was sound everywhere and it was fucking electrifying and I wanted to fight someone. I stg I've never felt so fucking alive as I did for that six minutes

And oh my fucking god jordan Luke gage's voice--i die

Also, strat looked so fucking outraged when raven took his top

And who needs the young with that one note that went on forever and how do you even hold a note that long? Also??? Sharon sexton????? god

Out of the frying pan? God guys. Damn but that was fucking fun-kinda creepy with the kidnapping talk but at this point I'm like 98% sure they're taking the piss (is that a type of song I like now? Friends make fun of guy who's sure he's in love?) And the choreography?

Two out of three, no lie I think I might be in love with zahara

Paradise by the dashboard light fucking traumatised me with those pink pants-never going to recover. But the commentator just being there, and all the backing dancers, and Sloane and falco in that fucking car. And raven pushing it off stage? And the orchestra members just kind of emerging after?

Strat you cannot just go in her room and hover over her, it's fucking creepy. Seriously dude. And raven-a duet is not the right way to respond to your crush randomly turning up while you're sleeping. Also I adore making love out of nothing at all but guys?? Really? The line about pickup lines though. The entire audience laughed at strat's on a hot summer night but bc seriously? No one in their right mind immediately has a response to that-

And then it was bat out of hell and the bike. The fucking bike.I was on a actual high and then the bike exploded and I stg I gasped out loud. Like I knew it was coming and all, but still. It fucking exploded. And the lights came up and they were still clearing his body off the stage

I'm gonna talk about the stage now, because oh my god. I've never seen a stage like it. There was an actual pool of water in the rocks, and there were stairs, and there were other little stages about which could also be screens, and whole set pieces just moved out to create different places. And they did a live feed from one stage to the screen at a couple if points, but you could see the camera man which was just incredibly cool. And have I mentioned the bikes?

Back from the interval it goes straight into in the land of the pig and there's a fucking cage, and the lost are in orange jumpsuits, and someone's being fucking electrocuted, and someone else is being drowned and fuck but that was disturbing and horrific. And there's people strung up from the ceiling hanging over the cage and zahara tells them strat is dead and my heart broke

And then it was heaven can wait and that was on screen so the main stage I'm pretty certain still had the lost on it. And damn Christina Bennington can sing. It was celestial. And the whole drawing on her arms thing? The most accurate representation of a teenage girl imo (if only bc I've been known to do that exact thing)

And then it was objects in the rear view mirror and I almost started crying because I never really listened to it before I guess? Not properly anyway because it hit me like a train.

Strat when he just woke up and he was rambling and feverish and tink was there the whole time, and I can't even fathom how heartbreaking it must be for tink, to love so much and for it to never be enough. Like I genuinely can't blame him for wanting raven gone-shes taken his best friend and almost got him killed and he still loves her.

And for crying out loud will haunt me forever. It was so desperate and there was so much longing and I felt it in my bones.

So you took the words out of my mouth with the lost realising strat's alive, and the return of his wolf line, and the wedding, and the tossing of the bouquet and I just loved the whole sequence so much

I'm honestly glad tink interrupted strat and raven before things got too heated bc honestly there's only so far you can go on stage, but then of course we had tink suddenly speaking up, and I'm not allowed to love, and you suddenly understand so much more about him. Like he was frozen younger right, and so he can never feel equal really, and he doesn't let himself show any emotion (the lost do show emotion so I think this is tink trying to force himself to appear older but I could be wrong).

What part of my body hurts the most also broke me bc its falco just realising everything he's lost (is he holding a photo album?) And I think for a moment he thinks sloane's come back, and then she leaves all over again, and he's lost everything and I just-----

And then you've got tink come to make a deal, and you can kind of see how young he really is, and how in many ways he's very naive.

Can we talk about dead ringer for love? That song-god that song is something else. And it's all so fucking jubilant and as an audience, you know something they don't, bc you know it's all about to go to shit. And then of course falco arrives and tells everyone what tink's done, everything happens at once and then tink's been shot and everything stops.

And strat makes raven leave, because of course he does, because tinks lying on the floor with a gunshot would and her father fired the gun.

I think it's important here that strat uses the word soulmate, because we only really see that word in a romantic sense, but here it means something so much deeper, and I'm crying again because of course I am. And rock and roll dreams come through, the song that we know was their song and

And then we're looking at falco and raven, and you can see just how intensely she blames him, and for once he doesn't know what to do, and despite all his efforts he's still do very alone.

Six months later. Ravens pretty obviously still broken, and the strat comes in, creeping though her window and he speaks and I think she thinks she's dreaming (it kinda mirrors for crying out loud I guess, in that she becomes coherent when she realises he's real, idk). And it's all coming back to me now is a song I adore, and strat actually kneels in front of her which seems pretty damn symbolic, and they still aren't toughing. I don't think they actually touched until flavour came in and raven had to stop strat climbing out of the window again, and then it was Sloane's verse and there were many many tender embraces which made me very happy.

I'd do anything love always drags a bit just the song (it's 10 minutes long and I have a short attention span) but I didn't find it dragged at all on stage. There was a big laugh before the song at raven's "what about when I'm 38, or 48, or *horror* 49" and a pause during the song after screwing around but then strat replied and all was right in the world. There was a heart which was on fire over the stage

Bat out of hell was the song for bows, and then it was over and I stg my legs were shaking during the ovation

Anyway it was wonderful, and I'm in love, and I'm sorry this is so long but I had to write it all down

[mum-for-da-sons]

Very messy Delta review

Hey gang, i sat & typed & spiraled while listening to delta for the first time just now, so if that interests you to read barely legible thoughts, it’ll be under the read more thing. dang i’m sad!! BUt spoiler alert: GOOOD ALBUM! I’m SAD!! (do note I don’t find the album or many tracks all-around too sad, I’m just a depressed bih)

Delta thoughts: okay i’m not gonna really edit what i wrote but for everyone’s sanity i’ll bold the song titles, okay?

42: BINCH! See a sign, I need some guiding light,,, eff ME UP OKAY?? This is such a strong start i’m already getting teary-eyed, huh. Ugh, it’s so satisfying… well effing done lads,, well done

Guiding Light: Hot dang the whispered beginning?? I really need to fix my computer speakers because this sounds heavenly in my over-ear headphones,, gosh dang. Discover some new TRUTH! Gosh dang this is not a comprehensive review in the slightest but i don’t care!! Binch!! I can’t even say anything good… when beloved or darkness visible makes me cry, i guess beloved is fourth? So if it does it’ll be first, anyway, when i start crying maybe i have something cooler to say. Not crazy about the “dubstep build” on this, after the bridge, just because i don’t believe it, like it’s not long enough, and resolves unconvincingly. But, anyway.

Woman: literally FRICK i thought if i say was next this start is cool and very Winston. Oh vibes?? Oh worm?? Woman?? I’m like 15 seconds in and this is… yes. Can you ever really know? No. is ths song even about anything lol i don’t think i care?? Issa vibe, gang. Chorus?? Eff me up. He said frosty… wendy’s come collect. Oh that was the pre-chorus?? This is f*cking me up… VIBES. i ‘ve been waiting for them to try this in a song of theirs and not like a cover.. I knew they were capable…. The range they’re displaying rn? I love it. I love them wtf!!  Oooh man i wanna see this live? There’s this drumstick noise, like rimshots? That sounds so satisfying. Yes, clackety clack. This is nice. Nice song. Don’t really know what they’re singing, bt this is warm. I like it. Mumford & sons finally said it’s 2018, huh. I just got a youtube notification of me commenting on their radio appearance and i literally said “the range they’re showing? Fantastic” and yanno what,, same

Beloved: this song started like right away huh. He said darling… dang he did that. He’s fitting a lot of words in on this one. Ohh the lord has a plan? It is hard to understand… i love these lyrics.. Big brain meme. Are you afraid? The attack.. Hand come through the mirror?? That visual!!! O f*ck me up. Before you leave :(( yeah it’s getting to me aHAHA.ohh this breakdown? Yes. these drums are especially nice. Ugh i really missed these guys wtf :(. AND AS YOU LEAVE, YOU MUST KNOW YOU ARE BELOVED> yes. Yes. as you LEeeeEEeaaveee. See my children playing at your feet?? BOI.. i’m so soft wtf.. They’re really putting it all out… i wanna hug them i’m so… this is so sweet aw. Oh no the song is fading, no don’t do that song

What song is this the piano can f*ck me up: ben man, you’re doin that huh. No literally did we have to jump to this painful… frick. This violin? Is nice. WE SAW BIRTH AND DEATH. Oh frick. They’re just going for it this is a lot i’m soft. Lemme actually see what song this is lol.. It’s The Wild. i have like chills & i can’t tell if it’s because i’m cold or not. Do not be afraid :(. OH they stripped it back!!! THIS IS NICE! Binch! Puts the fear of God in me :( this is so nice .. it’s hard to pick what to focus on. What’s that i see binch? I think it’s the wild… marcus is really do THAT with these vocals, huh. There was like a breath and.. The atmosphere during this part?? Nat Geo who??? Ohhh i like this so much.. It’s like a soundtrack.. The sampling of noise?? The background?? It’s cool, doesn’t specifically sound like them at all, but, aw these drums :( now it’s like a war movie.. This is so interesting. Those drums remind me of the drums in winter winds that i can sometimes here & it’s very drill-like and marching band-esqe and i love it. Aw birds??? You know what this reminds me of…. I won’t say

Next song: marcus is playing no games with these vocals, jesus. October Skies.. Isn’t this his favorite one… ooh ted I hear that bass,, eff it up.OooooOOOoooHH. The range… i love these guys. I’m blinded by the light of october skies… the movie with Jake Gylenhaal, and in the valley I am free :( where’d the silehute go? OOOooooOOOOooooHH YOUr’e esesjfsfshesal!! The fear of what’s to come.. CRIPlin’ me :( binch. Is this synth lowkey?? Brand it on my mind is such a great visual, like the “press my nose up to the glass around your heart” line.. Who wrote it. Oh is the sonG_ OOOOOOoooooOOOOOOoooooHHHH. Maggie rogers is that you? Hot dang

An upbeater!! Wipe those tears baby! Is this the just smoke of this album. This is.. Slip Away. “stoic smile” i see you… haha. Ooh this chorus is nice COME AND SUFFER HERE, LADIES! Mood!! Holding my breathe for you? F! In this violence of a mind’s eye… i like everything except maybe---- ohh this falsetto?? I’m.. i’m tearing.. Oooh we just found a song to cry to in the middle of the night, huh. It’s misleading with the beat vs. the lyrics.. I wouldn’t have it any other way!! Gosh i’m so depressed! Lol!! There’s a pulsing beat of some kind that’s nice.. Also some nice guitar work on here, some clackety things… go gently… be still…. Go gently….now… be still… Go Gentlyyyyy nowwwww, be stiiiilllll. Ugh they.. They’re doing this… i’m so proud of them wtf. Is this winston?? Who is singing.. Marcus?? I can’t.. Tell? No i think its marcus but we’ve truly never heard that high-end from him for that long

Okay: next song is pretty interesting- ooh! Right off the bat! This has to be the one they said sounded like ngalma? However you spell it… clap clap clap clap clap, this is a drum-machiner one for sure. I will be yours & you will be mine, ever our lives will be entwined binch! This noise after “my rose of sharon” is a mood. Ugh this is so cute.. Imagine being happy w/ someone else, what a concept ! eeeeeee yuh! That’s what they’re singing in the back.. My rose of sharon, my rose of sharon, BRR BRR BRN NER! Did the song-- what’s up with these abrupt endings

That being said, Picture You sounds v vibey right off the bat. Okay lads! I thought it best you didn’t knowww. I’m so proud of Marcus for flaunting these vocals, i stg, I’ve spoken on this before but... like he can do that!! I’m so glad he’s,, doing it! Ooh the “away” is v nice. I love full-stops in music, where the sound gets sucked out like here or just stops entirely… yes boys. Okay.. not crazy about this kind of.. Breakdown but it’s still cool. Just not in-rand as much as some other things. I mean, this sound is V different of course but they’re workin’ it. Okay i kind of stopped paying attention for a sec… there’s sampling… ohhh oh no it’s getting dark… hohoho no guys.. I’m excited but the anxiety is jumping out… holy smokes this is cool tho. It’s pretty. Hope that never comes, that comes to all.. Torture without end… yet from the great flames no light,,, but rather.. .DARKNESS VISIBLE. I’m gonna check if it didn’t seamlessly bleed into darkness visible…

Oh it did!! Their minds!! God, i already know i love darkness visible,, it was my pre-album listen fave on details about it alone,, we’re depressed sweeties let’s pop off… it’s so nice >:(. And just like that it ended!!!! BINCH!!! Ooh they’re like not even vocally in that one… i like that ish!! Not the “them not being in it” in that way but OOH! That was effing cool

If I Say: is still v v nice,, sounds effing expansive and beautiful with good headphones, i’m picking up all the lil details and prettiness.. The synth line after “if i say i love you, well then i love you” is sooo satisfying too. Ugh this orchestra,,, it’s building.. Truly their minds were so big on this album, huh. I’ll tell you what It doesn’t mean that i feel better! It doesn’t mean that I feel better! I’m, haha i still kinda hate this chorus but their so passionate i can’t hate it all the way,, like they love this ish and are into it & i love them so it’s allll good homies. I dig. I’ll be fake and wild out when they play it live, don’t worry. But peace you never find :( the guitar tone is crispyyyy,, the instrumentation… ugh it’s so nice. Violins can murder me or someat and I’d accept it. AND IF I SAY I LOVE YOU, THEN I LOVE YOUUUU. Ugh,, so so nice man

What’s NEXT: ooh some seamlessness in that transition.. .is this ghost of tom joad i’m hearing lol, mortal once again!! Oh this is a mood, freak.. Sigh no more marcus really jumped out on this one. This shuffling maraca thing is so nice. I’ll hold you by the jaw!! Hoo hoo bihhh. “It took a wild heart to tame mIIiine” this is so nice wtf!! Ugh this is so nice. I wouldn’t have you any other way,, awwwwwWWW!! Who want a love that makes sense anyway? I’ll effing say! Ugh this is very nice. These lyrics are so interesting… this is a good one guys, quiet & sweet but there’s some pretty cool things also going on, like it’s simple but its… this is it, ya know? This piano is sweet too. This whole thing is sweet, maybe that’s a dumb word to use but. This is so sweeeeet ugh!!! The vocal riffs on “mine” … ugh!! I kind of like the echoey vocals too.. Soft rain patter for two seconds at the end??

Reverse noises w/ a big breath from Marcus: let’s effing go w/ this album, gang!! What song is this reminding me of… whispers in the dark? He did some late-babel, early wilder mind voice thing.. Wait it’s forever isn’t it. I heard this one i think, like 3 yrs ago.. Yup, Dare I Say Forever.. I still don’t like do it for the girl” cos it’s too straightfoward, ,”i’ve known pious women” LOL where is this going. Only mumford & sons can really put that word in a song and just, keep singing. We stan tho, we stan. Think of london,,, we love. The DAAaaYS you defend will turn to gold,, this could easily be the last song on the album, this is like a last-call at the bar song,, in a good way, i’ve linked arms with my buddies & we’re all yelling this song like goons,, yes. Lighters a-waving,, are we too sentimental to not look back atnd!! WOW he realy did that with stare!! I couldnt finish typing that.. Is this part auto-tuned?? Dare I say.. Why? I’m choosing to hear it as a vocoder and many harmonies so i don’t hate that but uhaha they.. Hm they tried that i guess. Other than that the vi- oh why did the violin exit like that

The song is bouncing in my ears weird!! It’s giving me monster vibes atm. There’s a definite thread of messages goin thru this album & oof i love being sad,, the children come & go as you weep? Lol i love being sad. I am a waste?? My words are empty [as the bed we made]. Wilder mind is comin out on this, the album, huh!! The optimism on this album is-- I”LL MEET YOU OUT THE DELTAAA< WHERE THE RIVER”S RUINNING TO THE SEA,, GOD i love it. Ooh these drums, cool cool, it’s.. This is cool. Also sampling marcus’s children is sure way to eff everyone up, but that’s for another post,, ooooh i’m soft!! When it feels like nothing else matters :((((( lets go with this build!!! I wanna go for a run and have a cry.. Ooh man i took a moment there… this is so nice :( i’v missed them!!! Whats goin on with his vocals here,, the recording is like too close,, on purpose?? Hm. dust to dust!! I see you!! Marcus is truly giving his all here,, ugh I”m so proud of all of them, they put their LIVES on this, didn’t they!!! This song is such a feeling,, i can’t describe it i’m sad, but awwwW! I don’t kno wtf these kids are saying but wow that was cute as all heck!!! I”m so soft!! The album is over!! They did it!! Frick i don’t know how to feel!! Good really, but wow!!! Trying to not let my own sadness affect this review haha but !! what a nice body of work they produced!! In all the best ways, mostly!! I love them!!  I wanna have another listen!! Aw!!!! Frick guys. Frick. Can’t imagine anyone wants to slog thru this and have a read but,, anyway thanks if you did i guess, special thanks to Mumford & Sons for being my favorite band and always :( always being there when I need it. I needed this. wow. wow. Wowww!!!  Oof, haha i’m sad

Okay wait also he should’ve repeated the “I’ll meet you at the delta part” at least one more time but eff my criticism that song captures all stages of life and i truly wanna cry, so there’s that. Theses guys put it all out there & I really love them for that.

[fourteenacross]

natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812 - 8/12/17, 2pm

MY LAST TRIP TO GREAT COMET :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

I wish I was going to be in town for the last show :\ It’s the day before I get back from Atlanta, but if I was going to be in town, I would 100% have moved heaven and earth to get there.

We bought these tickets awhile back, after seeing Dave in June. We had already been planning to see Oak but hadn’t settled on a date or a seat type, so we used that performance to gauge where we wanted to sit, and literally minutes after I thought, “Oh, we need to buy those tickets today now that we know where to sit” the day after, they announced Ingrid was going the cast during the time period we were looking at so...yes.

(After our third time seeing the show, I was reaching the point where I was like, “I LOVE the entire cast but I’d LOVE to see some of the understudies live!” but I honestly couldn’t imagine anyone but Brittain playing Sonya, but I love Ingrid Michaelson, so that was a nice way to ease into the idea.)

Anyway, some time later we convinced two of our other friends, @charmingpplincardigans and @chiasticbees, to join us. This was a boon for me because August is CRAZY so we were doing this trip in one day and Naomi doesn’t drive, so that would have been...a lot of driving for me. But yeah, this was all long before the drama and the show posting its closing notice, so the trip went from “Yay, we’re going to see Oak and Ingrid and maybe we’ll go again in September or October to see the OBC one last time before contracts are up” to our last time seeing the show on Broadway.

I have a lot of feelings about that, which I’ll vomit at the end.

I weighed like, five different travel options and we ended up leaving Boston around eight, driving to White Plains, parking at the train station, and taking the MetroNorth into Manhattan. I went to school outside of White Plains and the exit for the train station is not long after 15 in CT ends, so it was also just good timing/placement in the length of our trip. We made okay time despite needing to stop to pee fifty times and had enough time to grab lunch at GCT before the show.

Naomi and I sat on the Banquettes on stage right in the second row, right on the end. We’ve sat on stage with a view from basically every angle, now, which was cool, but I do wish we’d had a chance to see see it from front mezz or the orchestra, too. But, that aside, they were excellent seats which we chose in advance because Pierre stands there to sing part of “Dust and Ashes.” Unfortunately, we had THE WORLD’S WORST SEATMATES, a bunch of middle-aged and older women who were just flat out rude. There were seven of them with three seats in one row and four seats in another row and they weren’t sure which seats they had. The first two of them showed up at, like, fucking 1:55 and gave the usher a hard time, and each time a few more of them trickled in, they gave the usher an even harder time. They kept insisting she was putting them in the wrong seat and no matter how many times she told them “you do not have a ticket for the seat you’re sitting in,” they would not listen and got pissy with her. They were also pissy that they were being rushed, even though by this point the cast had come out to give out pierogis and do the pre-show “don’t put your feet in the aisles, turn off your cellphones” talk. They also talked CONSTANTLY during the show, a running commentary on their thoughts which would have been bad enough in a traditional seating arrangement, but when you’re three feet from the actors whispering “That performance didn’t do anything for me” loud enough for the whole stage to hear is just rude.

ANYWAY, enough vitriol about them. Before the show we did a lot of soaking in of the stage and set with the knowledge that this was our last time :( And then the show started!

Denée: So good, as usual. I’ve seen Denée every time I’ve see the show and even though I really wish I could have seen Shoba’s Natasha, I can’t say I’m disappointed because she’s SO good. She’s so funny and sweet and naive and a beautiful perfect angel. I love the way she performs her narration to the audience, like we’re her confidante. “No One Else” is extra breath-taking when it’s happening a foot away from you, for sure, and “Pierre and Natasha” was just....ugh, I want to start ugly crying just thinking about it. What a star. What a presence. I hope she has a million wonderful things waiting for her in the future.

Grace: God, I’m gonna miss Grace McLean raining hellfire down on the stage. What a voice! What an attitude! Especially compared to her as...her. Like, meeting her at the stage door a bunch of times, she seems so tiny and quiet and it’s hard to reconcile her with Marya, who fills the entire room. 

Lucas: Lucas gets more over the top each time I see him and I love it. We saw Blaine as Anatole in June, and I LOVED Blaine’s Anatole, but I’m glad I got to see Lucas one last time. He’s just so MUCH and he does every part of it so well. He and Oak had AMAZING chemistry.

Amber: I stg she turned up the energy on “Charming” times a zillion. She was also hanging out in front of our section a lot and I don’t think I’ve ever noticed Helene and Dolokhov mocking the rest of the opera goers in the background, especially Marya once she starts talking to them. That way she flips back and forth between bitchy & holier-than-thou and honestly invested in her friends and family is amazing. She also is just so broken in the last few numbers, it’s heartbreaking. She collapsed basically on top of our feet. (Also, she and Grace made out like, six feet away from me and I was QUITE PLEASED.)

Nick: We saw Azudi as Dolokhov last time and he was great but, as with Lucas, I’m glad I got to see him one last time :\ Nick is like, our secret favorite because we saw him at a talkback at ART back in the day and were instantly charmed. He’s really excellent and balances being an almost maliciously amused asshole with genuine anger and regret super well. I also just love his voice and wish he had just a little more to do.

Courtney: Gelsey’s on vacation, so we saw Courtney as Princess Mary. This seems like a ridiculously hard role to understudy given all the weird vocal things that Gelsey does as Mary, but Courtney did a great job. Her Mary was a little more innocent than Gelsey’s and a little more frazzled. Gelsey plays her as already having given herself over to the knowledge that this is her sad life now, whereas it felt like Courtney’s Mary was still clinging to hope and those hopes just got dashed over and over again.

Nicholas: His Andrey is SO cold. I’ve only ever seen him as Andrey, but compared to some of Blake DeLong’s choices on the original cast album, his Andrey comes off as icy and angry, which I like a lot, but is just so sad. I was right around Bolkonsky for parts of “The Private and Intimate Lives of the House” and he was such an awful, creepy asshole. (Which is obvs a compliment XD)

Paul: A delight! He and Ingrid were right next to us during “The Duel” and it was great.

Ingrid: I was SO pleasantly surprised! I mean, I knew that Ingrid had a theatre background, but I think I wasn’t expecting to love her Sonya so much, both because Brittain is one of my favorite parts of Great Comet and because I don’t really think of her as an actress, but she was phenomenal! Her Sonya was more frustrated and betrayed and jealous in Act 2 than Brittain’s, and very visibly put out in Act 1, whereas I feel like Brittain’s Sonya just sort of lets herself get pushed around by Marya and is miffed, but goes with it. Also, her Sonya was possibly even gayer than Brittain’s? It’s hard to tell, but WOW. Her voice was beautiful, of course, but god, I’m still stuck on thinking what a fantastic actress she was. That confrontation in “Sonya and Natasha” especially. Amazing. I’m so glad I got to see her.

Oak: I am SO glad I got to see Oak as Pierre, seriously. He was fucking incredible. I mean, hashtag I love all Pierres, so I was predisposed to loving him anyway, but he really blew me away. Being two feet away from him while he did “Dust and Ashes” was like a fucking spiritual experience, for sure. His Pierre was different from all the other Pierres I’ve seen--there were parts that I liked more than some of the other guys and vice-versa. I would say that his Pierre was more...sad and longing. Groban’s Pierre is angry and Scott’s is frustrated and Dave’s is given up and despairing, but Oak’s is on his way to that Malloy-esque despair but hasn’t hit rock bottom yet. It’s such an interesting choice and I LOVED it. It added a sort of poignancy to “Dust and Ashes” in the opposite way of Malloy’s--Malloy’s “Dust and Ashes” has that poignancy because his Pierre has hit rock bottom and is seeing the light for the first time and just awed by it. Oak’s Pierre is saved from hitting rock bottom by that moment in “Dust and Ashes.” A different interpretation, but just as meaningful. He was also SO funny in “The Duel” and “The Opera.” His little thumbs-up to the audience on “No, I am enjoying myself at home this evening” was hilarious and his parts in “The Duel” were so mellow and goofy--way goofier than any other Pierre I’ve seen. I totally dug it. I will say that his “Whaaaat?”s were not QUITE up to Malloy’s and Groban’s, but they were passable. And, fucking, “Pierre and Natasha” was SO beautiful. He had such amazing chemistry with Denée in that moment and he was so obviously in over his head and reeling. I think this was the first time that “Pierre grew confused” clicked as a picture perfect reflection of the performance being given. He had such a desperate, human emotion on his face--he really wanted to connect with Natasha and was honestly upset that he couldn’t seem to do it. And his spoken lines were SO beautiful. They’re up there with Dave’s as forever favorites. “The Great Comet of 1812″ was just wonderful beyond words. The slow revelation that his Pierre is settling into was a perfect reflection of that moment in “Dust and Ashes” that he decides to live, so soft and deep in counterpoint to the frenzy of before. Those last two verses were SO beautiful, and the look on his face as he slowly lowered himself to the ground...my heart.

ENSEMBLE: 

During “The Ball” I couldn’t pay attention to Natasha and Anatole because the lady couple was dancing right next to our seats and their chemistry was crackling enough to be totally distracting to me, a person easily distracted by queer ladies.

Nick Gaswirth was over by us at the start to do some of the pre-show talk and I noticed for the first time that he has glitter in his mustache and I love him a lot.

I got a letter from Cathryn Wake who is cute as a button, tho I always feel like a creepy old lady when I say that because I think she’s like, twelve.

Kennedy Caughell was also right up in our business a lot and she’s also the cutest.

So was/is Lauren Zarkin. And Ashley Perez Flanagan and just everyone, okay? I love everyone in this 19th century Russian supper club.

GENERAL THOUGHTS:

God, I’m sure there are a million things I’m forgetting. “The Duel” is still one of my favorite things to ever happen on stage. Everything about that song makes me so happy. And I can’t believe there are people who can keep themselves from bouncing along to “Preparations”/”Balaga”/”The Abduction” because it’s all so frantic and great.

As I mentioned before, all of that careful planning to get good Pierre seats meant that we were inadvertently in the seats that Anatole sits in during “The Abduction” and I spent a looooooooong awkward moment with Lucas Steele’s arm around me as we stared unnervingly at each other and I tried not to burst into hysterical laughter.

I had like, this awful deep lovely moment at the end of the show, just staring at the comet as the discordant music swells, thinking about how this was my last time seeing the show, how there were a finite number of shows left, how so many people aren’t going to have a chance to witness this wonderful thing live. I’m still so deeply saddened by this. I know I should feel lucky that I got to see it as many times as I managed and I know I will feel lucky later, but for now I’m still stuck in feeling sad. 

This show has really been the thing that’s helped me limp through this year. The first time I saw it on Broadway was right before opening, less than a week after the election. I needed this show at that moment. I was already annoyingly crazy about it and had been evangelizing since seeing it at ART, but this was a thing that I held onto in the months to come. I wanted to have it for so much longer and I’m just so mad that the rest of the world didn’t give it a chance. It’s so weird and wonderful and strange and beautiful and there’s really nothing else like it. There’s no experience on Broadway that’s as fun as this show is, and I wish I could have escorted everyone I know into the theatre to push them down and make them listen and watch. So much of it is lost in translation from stage to audio and it’s so, so much more than what you hear on the cast recording.

I don’t know. I cried at the end, like I always do, and I cried during “Sonya Alone” and “Dust and Ashes” and then, as we were walking out, I started crying again realizing that I was leaving the Imperial as it currently stands for the last time. Something about that set, that theatre, is comforting and has been since last November. All wrapped up in red velvet and beautiful lights, it feels small and cozy and comfortable. It feels, I think, the way Mimi wanted it to feel--like an escape from the world outside, a pocket of music and life and exuberance and peace hidden away from everything going on in the larger world. Show aside, just being in that theatre felt safe, in a weird way, and even when the show tours I doubt they’ll be able to replicate that feeling. 

I’m making myself sad thinking about this again. I know I’ll always have those memories to fall back on (more or less, depression has largely ruined my memory and regularly punches holes even in experiences that are dear to me), but I’m selfishly depressed that I’ll never be able to run away to 19th century Russia again.

Anyway, thanks to the cast, to Dave and Rachel, to Mimi and Bradley and Paloma and Sam, to ART, to everyone who brought this thing to life and gave it to me. I won’t forget it.