#but i promise i drink enough
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I have a question! Do you stay fed and hydrated while you write your fics?
I black out for ten hours, possessed by a demon, when I write. when I come too I'm hit by every status effect known to man all at once.
So no, not really😅
#listen if im in the zone and stop thats it im done#but i promise i drink enough#like theyre worried i drink too much water#its a bit wild honestly#don't mind me#answered#ask#the-sapphic-raven#im only just now noticing you changed your url😅
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Your influence in this world doesn't need to be all-encompassing and World Changing. It can be small ripples. It can be gentle and easily missed.
Let yourself do small things. So often, people have this idea that to do "good things," it must be a grand gesture that changes every little thing. Honestly, that can be so intimidating and scary. We weren't meant to carry the world by ourselves. We each contribute, often in small ways, often in ways that aren't seen by everybody. But the people you affect might just take that kindness you gave them and let it light them home. Let yourself be that in whatever way you want. You don't need to carry the world alone.
#positivity#encouragment#encouraging words#ngl i gave a customer a lot of food for free because i could tell they were down on their luck and they deserve to eat#and i hope i contributed to them realizing this world will cherish them and they aren't forgotten#because it's scary not knowing if you can eat or drink or if you will be safe enough to sleep and while i don't know their story...#...does it matter if i do? i will do whatever i can to make sure the people around me are well-fed and taken care of#i think small things like this are honestly what make this life worth living#i don't think i would want to be here if it were not for moments like these#it's never not worth it to do what you can/are comfortable doing#and i hope it can come back around to reward you tenfold <3#i used to labour under the idea that Changing the World is the only way you can 'be good'#and that made me scared to do small things like this. and i partially regret that. but i don't blame myself or anybody else who feel...#...the way i did. doing 'good things' can be scary and intimidating and it's okay to be uncertain or fearful. it's okay; i promise <3#i just wanted to remind somebody that you don't have to change the world in one fell swoop. it's okay to Just Be#i love you (platonically) if you have read this far. i hope you do something kind for yourself#you - too - deserve good things. you deserve kindness and satisfaction and wonder
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so does emmrich... like...... live inside the necropolis? do you think he has a fancy house down there? a garden? a backyard??? are there sidewalks? does he have a hoa. how does this work
#neve mentions having an apartment in dock town#taash lives w their mom im assuming#lucanis has the family home in treviso#everyone else idek#like what does bellaras place look like. does she have a house. is she ok#i feel like davrin doesnt need a house. he can live in nature. he seems like the type that enjoys camping you know#ik cars arent a thing in dragon age but davrin would LOVE van life#did the inquisition pay harding enough for her to buy a house of her own hello??? dont tell me she still lives at skyhold....#LIKE WHATS THE SITUATION HERE I GOTTA KNOW#im trying to write post-game fanfic about emmrich and vanna and it dawned upon me umm. where do you live#vanna has no home. she was living on the streets for a while <3 so emmrich im counting on you to have shelter honey#im gonna assume emmy has a house in the necropolis ok. goth nation#he lives in a fancy manor... 5 bedrooms. 2 bathrooms. manfred has his own bedroom :]#a small backyard w some flower beds... within walking distance of the necropolis gardens....... yes this is coming together nice#A WRAP AROUND PORCH....... idc if the architecture doesnt match the architecture in the necropolis. peepaw needs a PORCH#and 2 matching rocking chairs so him and vanna can sit together and drink coffee and watch spirits wisp about#ok im done now i promise. if you actually read all that i love you
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every so often i will see a post from a leftist on this website that is so egregiously ableist that i remember that like. oh yeah the userbase of leftists on this website is violently anti-disabled people and will jump at any chance to demonize any of us for any reason. i just forget that fact because i'm extremely dedicated to curating my space
i'm paraphrasing here but i saw a post that said, "every time i see an American [disabled person] mention being scared about the election because they're afraid of losing their benefits i have to laugh. anybody who wants blood-soaked money from the US government deserves to starve" which. like. goodness that's a lot to unpack. i think we should burn the whole suitcase instead !
#i inserted [disabled person] because they used a fucking slur instead and i didn't want that in my post#like i feel like there should be room for disabled people like me whose lives literally entirely depend on accessing said >#> extremely limited benefits in conversations about whether voting in this election makes you complicit in genocide#which like! i do understand. i do. it's nauseating to think about what this shit ass country is doing. it's horrific. i do not blame anyone#> for not wanting to be a part of that. *and* i am also terrified for my own life because i remember the first time trump won it suddenly >#> became IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to get on benefits. EVER. and so many disabled ppl i know went to renew benefits theyd had for decades >#> just to be denied. one of whom was a below-the-neck paraplegic. he died because he lost those benefits!!! because trump won#i really do understand why people dont feel right voting for harris. or why they don't vote at all. i truly do. but holy shit i am so scare#and yes! i am aware that people in palestine and gaza are suffering so much worse. and i wish i could change that#but every single person in power in the US is pro-israel and eagerly drinking the anti-palestine kool-aid. no matter who wins >#> things will not change in that part of the world. and it is infuriating. when the revolution comes this will change. but it hasnt.#the revolution will not save me as a physically disabled person. it will not save any of us. we do not matter to leftists. i am sorry but >#> this is the one thing i have learned after being in leftist spaces for over 10 years. and posts like the one i mentioned prove it#so i am very sorry. i really am. for being physically disabled. but i cannot survive another 4 years relying on my parents for everything#if trump wins i will be killing myself. this is a promise. i cannot do that again#i know it makes me a bad person to be afraid that harris will lose. but people on the left already think i'm a bad person for being disable#i want the genocide to stop. i absolutely do. i also want to survive. i am terrified that the US leftists will sacrifice disabled people#like me so they can feel good about being put in a real life trolley situation#again. im sorry. im so fucking sorry. i wish i was a better person. i wish i was able to give more. i know that if i was just a good#person i would be able to have a job and give to every palestinian gofundme on my dash. i would be able to do more than my daily clicks >#> and reaching out and calling representatives that don't care. if i was a good person i would be able to convince my parents that z*onism>#is deeply fucking racist. and that israel is wildly racist and killing palestinians for fun. if i was a good person i would be able to make#>them leftists too. im sorry. im sorry. im sorry im not good enough. im sorry that im scared. im so scared and it's not right for me to be#when so much worse is going on because of this countrys bloodlust. im sorry that im benefiting from being born here i dont want to be#im sorry for not having any other options. if i was a good person i know i would have them. im sorry. god im sorry im so fucking sorry
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It does genuinely shock me how few people in the DA fandom are willing to acknowledge that the Grey Wardens are kinda extremely horrific and fucked up
#like they’re more egalitarian that any political system in Thedas sure#but idk maybe giving an uncentralized military power the ability to conscript anyone they want#lie to recruits about what this entails both whether they were forced in or joined willingly#and then kill them if they hesitate and maybe kill them anyway in the process of recruiting just by failing to drink poison#and then shorten their lifespan and force them into a fate of slowly becoming tainted if they manage to survive long enough#maybe that’s bad actually#maybe you should tell people what this entails at least#‘oh but then no one would join’ i promise you people still would stfu#maybe I’m just at the end of the day a city elf filled with rage at being forced into a military#because I fought back against rapists and protected my family#like legit tho getting fucking conscripted on top of all the shit that happens in the city elf origin#if fucking terrible and my warden is always going to be angry at Duncan over it#maybe I’m just eternally bitter at that but you will never find me respecting or wanting ti be a warden again#my HoF disappearing after Awakening and trying to cure the blight to fuck off from them is the most in character thing for her tbh#but yeah this is also part of why I never make Bethany a warden in DA2#she seems genuinely happier if she joins the circle for one thing#but also she at least gets to escape that in the end
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#okay i'm gonna do it i'm gonna fucking Draw some Characters#gonna make myself a nice drink and put on some music and then doodle until i have some faces on a page#i need to see tomu! and everyone in her party!#i've been avoiding my part as The Sole Fan Artist of our dnd group long enough#gotta do everything here by myself!! BUT i promise i WILL have fun with this tonight#sussitalk
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miko backstory
#lem art#🧯 cue-to-cue <3#🎞️#🗃️ (oc)#i saw a theory about miko's murders based around these details and it was REALLY good i justf could not get over the idea of bad boy miko#he did baseball in high school not college but i had to mention it... and i KNOW there's text SOMEWHERE where the characters are asked-#if they ever went to karaoke or things like that and miko said he did a lot BUT I CANNOTTT FIND IT. BUT IT'S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE I PROMISE#also when he says he's had Lovers before i definitely don't think they were serious relationships fndjkfjksw. he would accept a confession-#because it's a Typical Life Milestone and then they'd break up with him because he wouldn't give them enough attention hfdnjfd. <33 AROSPEC#drinking mention#smoking mention
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FEBRUARY IS NEARLY OVER GUYS!! HOLD THIS LAST WEEK IN YOUR HANDS AND MAKE IT MAGIC!!! READ!!! DANCE!!! SING!!! SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BEAUTIFUL THINGS - SUCH AS: LAUGHTER (EVEN IF IT'S YOUR OWN) AND ART AND GOOD FOOD!! INJECT SO MUCH LOVE AND BEAUTY INTO THIS FINAL WEEK!! WE WILL NEVER GET IT BACK!! MAKE IT BEAUTIFUL!!
#listen to your favourite songs in the morning and dance around whilst you clean!!!!#eat fresh fruit or pastries or chocolates or other foods that make you glad to be here!!!#drink teas or coffees or hot chocolates or smoothies or just cold water from the fridge!!!#remember to feel the heat or the cold of your drink and think think think about it all!!!! all of it!!!#open your curtains and feel the sun on your skin!!! (if you're lucky enough for it to be sunny - if not watch the birds!!!)#maybe meet your friends or maybe bask in solitude or maybe do both - you have a week after all!!#appreciate this time. make it magic.#sure you might have school or college or work but you can make it beautiful!!! listen to music and appreciate the small things#(people's outfits. good food. the clouds. the sky. the sounds. warmth. cold. the wind. the grass. the sights. the smells.)#bundle up and appreciate the last week of february because you'll probably miss the cold after a while of summer! make the most of it!!!#the good is here the good is here i promise. sometimes you just have to look a little closer. or sometimes you just have to take a step back#make this week magic. i believe in you.#rain rambles
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hi!!! i love your writing, it’s so beyond beautiful! i just had kind of a weird question - so in Lost and Found sebastian keeps saying he can live without the reader and he wouldn’t be lost without her and whatnot but that he WANTS to be with her - what if the reader was like “well i’m lost without you which means i’ll always love you more than you love me - and i want more than that.” bc i’m kind of the same way, i like the all-consuming type of love (i don’t think it’s a bad thing i’m just intense when it comes to romantic love but i feel bad when others don’t feel the same about me - like they can have a future without me but want one whereas i’m like no i NEED you) so what do you think sebastian would say/feel if the reader wouldn’t want to get back together because she feels like they would be on an uneven playing field because he’s making it clear he doesn’t NEED her but she feels like she needs him and wants to be with someone who feels the same way about her - and that’s not sebastian :((( sorry if this is weird or unhinged i just wanted to know your thoughts!!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH !! This is such a compelling question, I had to sit on it for a bit to sift through my thoughts. This got long so I’m sticking it under the cut to preserve the timeline.
The sucker in me wants to believe in that kind of scenario, Sebastian would accept the reader’s rejection (much to his internal dismay) and give her the space they both need immediately after. But at the same time, after everything they’ve been through, it seems counterintuitive to seriously end things.
I find it important to remember Sebastian’s history no matter what I write about; he lost his parents, killed his uncle, and effectively drove Anne away because he took things too far. He had to come back from that over the course of two years (in the timeline for Lost and Found, at least) and in that time he’s come to accept that life goes on. The world won’t stop spinning just because he’s grieving or upset, and it’s because of that he knows he doesn’t “need the reader to live”
That being said, his life post fifth-year has always included her, so he’ll do his best to show her exactly how much she means to him despite the break-up. Her absence is palpable. If it’s a question of whether or not he’ll ‘fight’ for her, he’ll absolutely do it. He would do his best to explain his mentality and way of thinking so that she knew what he’d said when he came back to her never had to do with him loving her less than she loved him. It was him acknowledging what while he could live without yet another person he loved, he didn’t want to.
I have to believe no matter what the outcome of their romantic relationship would be, Sebastian wouldn’t want to cut the reader out of his life permanently, because they mean too much to him for something like that.
TLDR; I think Sebastian might initially accept the reader not wanting to get back together at first, purely because he knows he said fucked up things before walking out and he knows he can’t take those words back. But in the long run, I think Sebastian would pour his heart out to her to try to convince her that even though she thinks he loves her less than she loves him, that isn’t the case in the slightest.
She’s been the one constant in his life since everything went to shit, and without her, he feels lost. Even though biologically he can exist without her beside him, it fucking hurts and it isn’t easy, nor is it something he actually wants to do. So I think he would fight for her at the end of the day. The romance fiend in me believes he wouldn’t accept the break up for long, and maybe with enough effort and pleading, Sebastian could win the reader back. If she still didn’t want to be together after all was said and done, he would begrudgingly accept her word and take time to work his way back into a friendship stance with her. Some kind of relationship with her would be better than nothing in his eyes.
I probably rambled a shit ton here but I never gave the MC rejecting his pleas to get back together much thought. It’s painful to consider actually making him end up alone in his last year of school, but I hope this maybe offered some insight ! If anyone else had any thoughts, feel free to add them :))
Thank you also for enjoying Lost and Found enough to read into it this much, your ask was an absolute treat to receive and think about ! Have a lovely weekend my dear 💕
#asks#sebastian sallow#that man loves so fiercely and so strongly that I refuse to believe he would let the reader think he loves them less than they love him#he would spend so much time after the initial rejection trying to win them over with grand gestures and whispered promises to be better#he’d become the embodiment of ‘show not tell’ in regards to his love for them#leaving flowers on their desk before class#sticking love notes in their books when they weren’t looking#in the event it wasn’t enough though he would respect their choice#albeit with an eternally heavy heart#he would pine after them every day for the rest of his life#another regret to add to the growing list in his life#I need a drink after thinking about all this heartache
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ugh my head is feeling kinda funny was trying to catch up on fanfiction but i think i need to take a break from reading
#assuming it's dehydration#hoping it's dehydration i got enough stuff wrong with me not to worry about one more#drink water kids!#anyway to all my fanfictioneers i promise to read and comment when i can
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i know this is like. a tuesday night.
but hot drinks with alcohol really fuck. i'm not even drinking a real hot toddy, just ginger tea mixed with brandy. but holy shit, this is next level alcohol. i've never liked another Alcohol as much. something about alcohol extracting the flavor?
and like. i hate fruity alcoholic drinks as much as straight up shots. so this is an interesting development in my flavor journey
i'll keep y'all posted if i find any other flavorlightenments
#personal#flavor#alcohol#tw alcohol#i'm not drunk just tipsy#but i think i've finally found a drink that i really LIKE#enough to want to consume it without the promise of drunkeness#based on flavor alone#it actually is better with the alcohol than without#like magical mystical drink#i think i'll name it after me#the TOBY
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what's even more embarrassing is that they're literally doing this to celebrate a mutual friend finishing exams earlier this week like this is not even remotely about me and here I am making it all about myself yet again!!!!! I feel so guilty
#maybe if i feel enough shame abt the way im behaving ill snap out of it#at the very fucking least im glad i dont express this shit towards other ppl. bc i do care abt them + i dont want to make anyone feel bad#i did get them a card which my roommate has hopefully passed on + i messaged them on the day they finished like i promise im not that#much of a narcissistic asshole im rly proud of them for getting thru their degree cuz that shits fucking tough!!!!#my roommate got them a cute tshirt too 🥺 i rly do hope they are having fun ik they dont get to do stuff like this that often#and i do get that its awkward having a sober friend like i understand why she said its less fun. its my choice to not drink anyway#trying so hard to keep that understanding + wellwishing as the priority feeling here its a battle#the negative feelings are all purely mental illness. so funny when ppl are like wow adhd is so quirky and fun like yeah so fun being#hardwired to self destruct the second u perceive any kind of social insecurity the bomb defusal team r working round the clock up there#maaan. i waste so much precious time and energy on my own feelings i wish i felt more peace w just existing. maybe with time#sorry last post i promise ik u guys r sick of this shit i am too!!#.diaries#.vent
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hi. just came to say i’m alive and well (mostly) if anyone cares. i simply broke down due to emotional stress so i had to delete the app and cut it all out. idk how long it will take, but i’ll be back and catch up on blogs/tags/messages by then! hope you’re doing great, i’m sending you all my love and a special shoutout to @itsniceto, @mycastlescrumblingdown, @jdschecter, @intomymelancholia and @mayangelsleadyouin for being such a ray of sunshine. miss you and love you all soooo so much 💜
#part of not coming back rn is taylor tbh. in case you missed it i kinda distanced myself from the fandom although obviously#her music will always be a big part of my life. but it’s so tiring trying to separate the artist when shit keeps coming out#& yes i’ve listened to sntv but all i’ll say there is that now it’s oficially top last lmao esp after what she did to my fave tracks#like wth happened to btr and this album production. but again i have no intention of talking shit nor i care enough at this point#i’m also on the verge of a break up and my brother’s health is getting worse so. i really cannot deal with any criticism rn#at least i knew long before i couldn’t afford to go to a show. anyways enough talking to myself ! these are the news ig#also thanks to everyone who keeps tagging me on their edits. i appreciate it sm and i will reblog them when i’m back!! promise#see you around and please. remember to take a deep breath and drink water and put yourselves above anything else <3#pt
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oh my god yall a teapot with a warmer changes everything
#rin rambles#my tea stayed warm for hours. HOURS I TELL YOU#also the lil flickering tea candle is so relaxing to see at the corner of your eyes#and the tiny cups are actually such a genius move because i can drink it in like three-four sips when it cools down enough it won't burn#my tongue which means EVERYTIME I REFILL IT I GET HOT TEA HDLJSLDJFKLS#good job me for picking the set with the smol littol cups *pat pat*#ough#cant wait to try the osmanthus tea with this it's gonna be so goodddddddddddddddd#where is a zhongli to toast my lil bowl teacup with *cries*#also i just want to say i see all your asks and brainrots but i. i am in no headspace to reply to them rn i apologize hsldjfklsdf#am not ignoring you i promise i'm just tired™️ orz
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He's definitely riding a high from a fun birthday.
#//Ach I fell asleep! Yay for sleepies but gosh I had more writing to doooo#//Maybe today I shall do it all then!#//...okay not making such promises knowing myself pffffft#//But I got like 8 hours of sleep! That's so rare for me! Maybe I'll have energy today wheeeee#//ANYWAY! Time for morning coffee~#//Hoping you all are doing great and have remembered to drink enough water!
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a year and one day ago, one of my favourite people in the world, my kindred spirit, my uncle chris, died of a heart attack. he was a kind sensitive gay man who loved to read and travel and make people laugh and wake you up in the middle of the night to go out for ice cream if he was lonely. he had a peculiar interest in clowns and circuses and trains. he loved dogs more than people and people more than anything else in the world. i never got the chance to talk to him about being autistic but i’m almost 99% sure he was.
i couldn’t say anything about him on the day because i was absolutely inconsolable. i sat on the shower floor until it went cold and sobbed for hours so hard i threw up and then didn’t speak the rest of the day. and then, late at night, i went out for ice cream and was served by an old queen covered in pride pins who was around his age, and he reminded me of him, and it helped a microscopic amount. my mom told him we lost our uncle and he looked at me and i wanted to tell him “you remind me of him” because i know he would’ve understood, but i couldn’t make any words come out, so we just looked at each other a moment. i don’t remember anything else about that night. except that it rained really hard for a long time. i still go there for ice cream occasionally and he serves us every single time and he talks as if we’re good friends, even though i never do much of the talking.
anyway. i went back to look at his obituary today and it feels like it just happened. or like it didn’t happen at all. idk. but the thing that’s getting me the most is i’m looking through his photo gallery and there’s pictures of him in his teens and 20s and like….. we would’ve been friends. i just know we would have. despite how quiet i was in school, despite how quiet HE was in school, he would’ve seen me one day and said smth to make me smile like he always did and we would’ve been best friends from then on. but i was born 30 years too late and instead of befriending me first he befriended my grandmother and mother, and instead of going to school with him every day he called me nearly every day to do animal impressions. mr. cow says hello. mr. sheep says good morning. mr. horse is passing the phone to silly chris now. we grew up calling him silly chris. that was just his name. one word. sillychris.
idk where i’m going with this post but i just wanted the world to know that i miss him, and that when my nephew is finally big enough to use the phone he’ll have to speak to my secretary mrs. horse
#he used to visit foster homes dressed as santa and the easter bunny to give out treats#he kept a bowl of dog treats by his door despite having no pets just in case one was walking past#he was the kindest person i have ever known#and the fact that my kids will not grow up with sillychris breaks my heart more than anything#but god i am so so glad i visited him before he died. that we went to the korean bakery and out to dinner and took a long walk#and smelled all the flowers we passed and talked about books and travelling and the world and how different we feel from other people#despite how badly we love other people#that i still have a fresh memory of hugging him. of him telling me i’ve always been the same girl. that i’ll always be his book lady.#one of my biggest regrets is that i didn’t text him when i said i would. that i didn’t send him a book like i promised.#i got so caught up in my life and my own problems and i thought i’d have so much time. i thought i had years and years#i thought he’d dance with me at my wedding. y’know? u always think u have more time. and the thing that scares me the most is not knowing#i know he could never ever be upset with me for anything. and that he’s still here#anyway. this post is mostly for me bc tumblr is my journal but here we are#it is something i think that the only thing able to pull me out of my head on that day long enough to drink some water and lay down#was another chris
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