#but i need to spin my wheels a little bit. get it. because i'm a f.ormula 1 factive | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starrystevie · 2 years ago

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eddie figures out that he likes steve all because of nancy fucking wheeler.

it isn't often that they find themselves hanging out just the two of them, quite the opposite. this is the first time they've ever done it and the only reason nancy is even stepping foot inside the munson's new government-provided trailer is because she's having a crisis.

"but what does it mean," she asks, voice muffled as her lips wrap around the opening of her beer bottle before taking a swig. her cheeks hollow and her eyes shut against the feeling of the carbonation bubbling up before she fixes eddie with a glare that he doesn't think is for him. "it didn't... feel this way with barb."

and eddie's just sitting there on the couch, rolling a much needed joint for both of them, trying to follow along with what nancy is saying. she's pacing a hole in the carpet and her hands are flying around in a way that eddie himself does when the wheels in his brain are spinning too fast.

"... what didn't feel what way?"

nancy glares at him again and he gets the feeling that it's directed at him this time. he feels himself shrink under her eyes and wants to raise his hands up in surrender (he gives in and does indeed raise his hands in surrender).

"i think i'm in love with robin, please try and keep up."

eddie stills, his hands in the air and mouth open in shock. nancy's still muttering about something but his brain is stuck on the being-in-love-with-robin part of her tirade. it's not an issue, not in the slightest, and sure he's heard of people who... but he's never met someone who actually-

"are you even listening?" nancy asks, her tone firm. she has a hand on her hip while the other is clenched tightly around the neck of her beer. "what am i supposed to do?! am i just supposed to kiss her and tell her that her eyes are my favorite color and that i miss her when she leaves a room even for just a minute?"

"how should i know?! i'm not in love with robin!" eddie responds and he knows it's the wrong answer by how nancy's whole face falls in the span of .02 seconds. she looks like she's on the brink of tears, frustrated or hopeless or sad, and eddie doesn't know what to do with that either.

"but... you know. what about steve?" nancy's voice is soft now, and paired with her puppy dog eyes, eddie almost doesn't process what she says. "how'd you know with him?"

and if eddie thought he was stunned before, this takes the cake. a nervous laugh bubbles out of him, his face hot and heart pounding. his arms feel a bit like liquid and he doesn't know if he's even breathing anymore.

"nancy, i'm sorry but i think we're on two different wave lengths here." he needs to do something with his hands so he starts to fiddle with his lighter, flicking the zippo open and shut until the clink of the metal sounds too loud in the quiet room. "i don't.... love steve."

tears start to roll down her cheeks and yeah, eddie definitely messed up somewhere. she's wiping the drops away furiously like she's surprised they even dared to show up and she's biting her lip in a way that looks like it hurts.

"what are you talking about? of course you do." her eyebrows furrow which makes her look even angrier or disgusted and eddie feels like they're on a tightrope in his living room that's about to snap away from underneath them.

"well yeah, i... love him," he stutters over the words, "like i love you and rob and everyone. but not like... love love."

nancy's laugh sounds way too harsh for it to have come out of her. "are you sure? you stare at his ass more than i stare at robin's." she takes a deep breath, ignores the gasp of indignation that her statement gets out of eddie, and tilts her chin up like she's taking the high ground.

"i do not!"

"do too! and you're always looking for him when you walk into a room, like it doesn't matter if we're there, you only look for him. and you sit right next to him even if there's an open seat that's more comfortable. and you have this little, i don't know, tic when he smiles that makes you wiggle your fingers and you-"

"wheeler, you gotta stop."

"-always listen to him and he does all of that back for you and it's so obvious. i can't believe you didn't know you were in love with steve! you do everything that i do for robin and i'm in love with her so it must mean you're in love with steve and- holy shit i'm in love with robin."

the silence after nancy stops rings loud in his ears. honestly, he hadn't really given it any thought before but it makes sense.

the very idea of steve has his heart feeling a way it hasn't since he was nine and tracy nichols gave him a shiny rock on valentine's day. he does always look for steve when he enters a room, his very presence calming and dependable. he does sit next to him no matter what, their sides pressed together, heat radiating between them like a blanket. and god, when steve smiles, he does have to move his fingers, something to get out these jolts of energy that he feels licking through his veins.

steve is good and steve is a bit of an asshole but eddie likes that and suddenly the line between platonic and romantic seems to have vanished because holy shit, how did he live for the past year without spending every day loving steve harrington?

eddie reaches for the half rolled joint, licks at the paper to close it and lights up quickly. he holds the smoke in his lungs for probably too long but couldn't care less because he's now having a crisis of his own thanks to nancy.

"goddamnit," eddie hisses out as he exhales. "i'm in love with steve."

nancy looks smug, her arm extended as she waits for eddie to pass the joint to her before taking a hit. "that's what i'm saying."

"but i'm not... you know."

nancy rolls her eyes. "it's not going to bite you if you say it, eddie."

"i'm not gay."

the silence seems louder now as the paper on the joint sizzles. there's a dog somewhere in the park barking and he can hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears.

"neither am i." nancy responds quietly with a shrug of her shoulders. "but i am for robin. and you are for steve."

she passes the joint back over to eddie and stands up from the couch, wipes off imaginary crumbs from her pants like she didn't just turn eddie's world upside down.

"i think i'm gonna go. i have a lady to woo." nancy looks happy. it's a good look on her, one he doesn't see all that often what with everything that's happened to them in the past year. she deserves it, he thinks, happiness.

"let me know how it goes," he calls to her as she stops at the trailer door.

"i will." with a tilt of her head and a with a gleam in her eye, she gives eddie yet another look that he doesn't know if he wants to try and decipher. "you should call him."

eddie snorts and takes a hit, rolling his eyes as he stares up at the ceiling so he doesn't have to look at nancy's all knowing eyes. it isn't that he's scared to call steve, it's that he's terrified. petrified. what would he say? what would steve say? he just figured out that he loves him, he hasn't had time to prepare a whole speech to declare it and-

"eddie." nancy's voice is sharp but certain and part of him thinks that robin is a lucky woman to have nancy wheeler falling in love with her. "trust me. call him."

after she's gone, he finishes the joint. he sits in the silence of his trailer and pulls hit after hit of sticky smoke until it's down the end and burning his fingertips. he stares at the ceiling some more, contemplates what to say, how to say it, how to do anything without throwing up.

he wonders if wayne knows, if he saw what nancy saw, what he thinks of eddie falling in with a guy. he wonders if this will change everything. wonders if it'll change for better or worse. wonders if he'll have to skip town and change his name like he imagined doing after he was cleared of murder.

picking up the phone is easy, dialing is easier when he has steve's number memorized like the back of his hand.

"hello?" steve mutters like he's been roused out of sleep. his voice is scruffy and somehow soft and eddie knows he's going to throw up.

"steve."

"hey, man. is everything okay?"

and it makes eddie's heart flutter in a way that a generic question shouldn't but damn it, he's in love. he's allowed.

"yeah, yeah. everything's good i just-" eddie sighs, scrubs a hand down his face to stop from twirling the phone cord in his fingers. "do you wanna maybe come over? watch a movie or something?"

eddie can almost hear the smile in his voice when he breathes out a yes, thanking whatever higher powers there may be for nancy wheeler.

#yikes i had way too much to do at work today but didn't do anything of it until i wrote this down oops #honestly the only place i write stranger things headcanons is at work apparently #steddie #steddie headcanon #but also a mini bit of #ronance #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #my writing #the next fic i write has to be ronance because i've yet to write anything angsty for them and i NEED to #please excuse the gratuitous overuse of italics in this #1k #2k

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exercise-of-trust · 3 months ago

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everyone clap and cheer for my beautiful daughter who has every disease 🥰 her name is þerindë because her wheel is made out of an embroidery hoop; she is entirely handmade and boy howdy does it show

a whole bunch of things have stopped working since i took that video last night and i'm not sure how much more wherewithal i have to keep messing with her, but i did manage to spin about two feet of something before then! so i'm showing her off a bit now, and if i can figure out what-all i fucked up maybe you'll see more of her in the future. some process and progress photos under the cut (not a tutorial. do not do this. i cannot sufficiently stress how bad of an idea this was and is*)

(*if you are going to do this and have questions not answered here i am always happy to answer them, inbox and dms are open etc, but like. i would strongly advise against it)

here's the hoop! it's about a foot across, with a groove carved out with a speedball. this ended up being way too shallow (who'd'a'thunk) so the final version is a lot deeper than what you're seeing here. the paint stirrers are held in with straight pins because i was worried regular nails would just crack the hoop lmao. my girl is so deeply and profoundly scuffed <3

the flyer is made from three cedar shingles glued together because i didn't have a solid piece of wood large enough. astonishingly nothing broke while i was sawing out the rough shape and it whittled down pretty nicely! the hooks are scrap 2mm copper wire, the orfice is a couple inches of plastic drinking straw, and the pulley wheel is also hand-carved, which is why it looks like a fucked-up oreo and has the weird hitch at the top of the spin that you probably saw in the video 🙃 frankly i am astonished it works as well as it does

the wheel frame is. man. the axle supports haven't broken yet but frankly it's a miracle they're still in place with how much strain they're under every time. the original base was that weird little bit of paint stirrer, which (shocker) did not work out in the long run; it's been replaced by an offcut from the frame and is significantly more sturdy now. it's surprisingly level, though, and turns pretty smoothly all things considered!

the frame was a nightmare start to finish; i've never done any serious woodworking before in my life and the whole thing was just kind of slapped together without a plan or any sort of concrete measurement. it wobbles so fucking bad and every few hours i have to push a couple of the parts back together where the nails are sort of drifting out of the wood. you may observe a weird post sticking out the left side of the mother-of-all; that is supposed to be for scotch tensioning. does it actually do that? sort of! the belt is a length of cotton crochet thread that is, after much fiddling, just the right size to not slip out more than once every three minutes.

treadling was another pain to figure out and i think i probably made it way more complicated than it needed to be. it still doesn't work very well and i can't tell if that's something i can fix hardware-wise or if i just have to suck it up and practice a lot more. turns out feet are not as coordinated as hands! i would say "now i know for next time!" but frankly i am never doing this again. you couldn't pay me. speaking of which, i did the math and at my current pre-tax hourly salary i could've bought two brand-new ashford travelers with the number of hours i spent building my awful rickety daughter. at the end of the day, do i love her? immensely. is she "good"? by no stretch of the imagination.

anyway. this was a terrible use of my time <3 but i do finally feel confident enough in all the parts of a spinning wheel and what they're for that i can brave the dangers of facebook marketplace's "spinning wheel" category without getting too badly scammed! which is pretty valuable in its own right, i guess.

#hand spinning #spinning wheel #my darling girl. i love her so much. she is so bad at her job #aggressive linguistic prescriptivism #subcreation

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the-offside-rule · 1 year ago

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Liam Lawson (Alpha Tauri) - Streaming Buddy

Requested: yes

Warnings: none

Liam sat laughing along with his chat as he read through some of the messages. He stretched and let out a tired groan before sitting down and wanting to do something else. "Ah guys I'm absolutely shattered. I'm so bored. What should we do?" He waited a few seconds for people to send in some answers to his question which he quickly skimmed through it. "Okay, warzone again, we've already played. Marbles, not the same without Marcel, come on guys let's get creative here." He read through them all. They were very plain, a bit boring. He was seriously contemplating finishing the stream up when he spotted one sgmuggestion that he liked. "Simulator with Y/n. I like that idea." he chuckled. The chat went ballistic, they wanted that too. They rarely ever saw Y/n on streams so of course they wanted it.

Liam took out his phone and began texting Y/n who was sitting in the living room, watching some Netflix. She needed a break from a very stressful year at university so having some time to relax and not worry about anything was a nice change. Her phone lit up on the table, meaning someone had just messaged her. She stretched and reached for it, almost falling off in the process and had a look at who it was. She smiled as she saw Liam's name pop up. She opened her phone and read through his message, confusing her a bit. He probably just wanted her to order some food.

"You wanted me?" Y/n whispered to him. "Sit down." He said, scotting over a bit in his chair. "We won't both fit there Liam." Liam grinned. "Feel free to sit on my lap then." Y/n felt her cheeks burning red but thankfully it was hard to notice because of his coloured lights. She slowly sat down and looked toward the camera almost as if she was silently saying this guy. Liam wrapped his arms around her and held her closer. "So, why am I here?" she asked. "Well, somkeone suggested that you try out the simulator." Liam said. Y/n closed her eyes and slid down a bit. "No." She whined, making Liam laugh at her reaction. "I can't drive to save my life." Y/n was already starting to make up excuses. "Nah, you'll be fine come on." Y/n stayed on his lap. "Babe-"

"You can't get up if I don't get up first."

Liam let out a sigh. "Really?" he asked. Y/n nodded her head and grinned before Liam shot her a cheeky smile and picked her up. "Hey!" she squealed as he carried her to the simulator. "Just do one lap come on." Liam said putting her down and then fixing the camera on her. "Oh fine." She said giving in. She began racing around, making a complete mess of everything. She was breaking too early, going onto the throttle too late, Liam felt the need to go and show her how to do everything. "No, you're doing it wrong, you have to change the gears when all the lights on the steering wheel go on." Liam started explaining bit by bit to her as she drove agonisingly slow around the track. "Right, pick up the pace. Come on." Liam said. Y/n stepped on the pedals the pick up the pace and she was doing just fine until her tyre touched the grass and moved her line completely. In an attempt to save the car, she corrected herself but ended up spinning and crashing into one of the barriers. Y/n's eyes went wide as she took her hands off the steering wheel slowly.

"What just broke?" he asked as Y/n crashes. She kept quiet for a while until she mumbled a little "everything." Liam shook his head and tutted as if she was a child. "How did you spin on a straight?" he asked in disbelief. "Look right, I don't know what you expected-" Y/n said in between laughs. "To finish at least one lap maybe." Liam replied sarcastically. Y/n groaned and slid down the chair. "It's fine, you just don't know how to do it." Liam laughed. "Right, teach me then." Y/n said. Liam nodded his head and moved her again before he lifted her up and sat down, placing her back on his lap. "Right, watch carefully then." Y/n's smile softened before she lay back. "So yeah, you have to be careful into turn one, it's a hairpin pretty much. As for the rest-" He paused and looked at her face in the stream. She wasn't even focusing on the simulator. "Babe, you listening?" he asked. Y/n lifted her head back until she saw him. "No." She replied sweetly. Liam arched an eyebrow and continued on driving. "Why? Why aren't you looking at the screen?"

"I'm looking at something way better right now." Liam tried to contain his grin when she said that but failed miserably. "That was so cheesy." He mumbled. "Well I can't help it I love you, you little- oop, you crashed." She said pointing at the screen. "Oi, that was your fault."

"You shouldn't have been distracted." Liam grinned before kissing her hair. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just race huh?" Y/n laughed a bit before relaxing and watching Liam go around the track. "I love you too." He whispered, making her smile. "Yeah, yeah. Let's focus on the Racing now eh?"

#f1 blurb #f1 imagine #f1 oneshot #f1 oneshots #liam lawson x reader #liam lawson x y/n #liam lawson imagine #liam lawson

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trashpandacraft · 1 year ago

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having sat down and spent a bit of time spinning on all the wheels, i have thoughts on them!

our first contestant: a sheridan scandanavian. kinda.

sheridan was an australian manufacturer in the 70s and early 80s, and this particular model is often mistaken for an ashford traditional. one tell that it isn't is the spokes on the wheel—a traddy has eight, and a scandanavian has six.

another tell is its tension knob, which i actually love—this is a lot easier to get a grip on than the ones that are just balls.

...there's also a nameplate identifying the maker and the model. but that's kinda where things get weird, because this? this is not what a scandanavian is meant to look like.

eagle-eyed readers may have already noticed that it's a double drive wheel, which is weird, because the scandanavian was only ever made as scotch tension. sheridan made a similar wheel, the macarthur, that was a double drive. my understanding is that these wheels were sold as kits, so as best i can guess, someone must have had a scandanavian and a macarthur, and at some point, for some reason, they dropped the macarthur's workings onto the sheridan's stand.

whatever she is, though, she spins nicely—works exactly like you'd expect, even after what was clearly a number of years of neglect. i'd like to get some more oil into the leather bearings, but she's in good shape. this one's a surprisingly slow wheel, even on the highest ratio, but will be great for plying and—more importantly—for @binchickencrafts to learn to spin on.

next up is the tarra...something. maybe the evelyn, but maybe the agnes?

she's beautiful, right? another tilt tension, too, which i like. lovely matching orifice hook with a little storage hole, and integrated bobbin storage, which i absolutely love.

so why's she weird? well. the evelyn was the evolution of the agnes, basically. agnes had a block for a mother of all, evelyn was shaped. agnes had a four-part drive wheel, evelyn had six. agnes had eight spokes on the drive wheel, evelyn had six.

this wheel, though. she has a shaped mother of all, an eight-part drive wheel, and eight spokes.

she also has a really neat flyer.

the flyer is part of what attracted me, to be honest, and no regrets. it needs shined up some more—i was eager enough to try her out that i cleaned off the worst of the rust with some vinegar, but it needs some more attention. those hooks, though, are fantastic. i think that they're a curse for a lot of people, because if one's lost, replacements are almost impossible to come by, but if you have them, they're so good. the screw loosens the hook and lets you slide it as needed, and you can get very close to either end of the bobbin—you can use the stationary hook to wind on right at the front, and the movable hook covers the rest of the bobbin easily. all my treadle wheels have been fixed hooks, so this was a new adventure.

this is the wheel in the worst shape, i think. she needs oiled up, but also needs to have the rear maiden reseated—it's loosened and has a fair amount of horizontal play, which doesn't give the best experience. i feel like when that's fixed, which won't take more than a couple hours and some wood glue, she's going to be a sweet spot of a wheel. even with the movement in that back maiden, i can get from worsted down to cobweb on her, so i'm really looking forward to seeing what she's like when she's been patched up.

finally: the pipy saxony.

please clap.

i can't overstate how small this wheel is. she weighs less than five kilos. that's like. a cat. that's a cat of weight. that's how much this wheel weighs. i knew when i bought her that she was a small wheel, but i hadn't realised how small, so i was a little concerned that she wasn't going to be very effective.

turns out joke's on me, because this teeny tiny wheel is an absolute powerhouse—as long as you want to spin finely. which is perfect for me, because i almost never use or spin yarn that's thicker than a light worsted, and even that's kinda pushing it. i'm the kind of person who knits jumpers out of sock yarn and owns multiple pairs of 1.5mm (size 000) circular needles.

this wheel wants to spin fast and wants to spin thin, and I *love* her. the wheel is weighted so it always stops ready to turn clockwise, and it's a string footman, and something about the combination of the two makes this an absolutely amazing experience. i spun for several hours, and my breaking point wasn't knee or ankle pain, but hip pain from sitting in that position too long.

how the heck does a wheel that—again!—weighs like ten pounds manage to weight anything?

it's easy to miss, but in that first picture, there's integrated bobbin storage again, with room for one on each side of the wheel.

the tension system isn't like anything i've used, and can be adjusted both vertically and horizontally. the tension peg does what you'd expect and moves the slider block (and the mother of all on it) closer or further from the wheel, but you can also move the mother of all towards you or away from you to better align it with the wheel.

she's just really nicely designed. look at this incredibly tidy bobbin release!

for the specific things that i spin most frequently, i'm pretty sure that the pipy is going to be my go-to treadle wheel, though i expect the others will see plenty of use, as well. and my eel wheel certainly isn't getting retired—my somewhat broken body is never going to let me use a treadle as often as i'd like, and there's a lot to be said for the ability to spin while watching television in bed. but i'm really excited to have these, and to use them when i can, even if it's not as often as i'd like.

i know that a lot of people are really dubious about buying used (especially vintage used) wheels, but i feel like they're often underrated. there's a lot of cool wheels out there that are as good or better than what you can buy in a store, and it's worth investigating it, if you're able to. (it's also worth noting that buying all three of these cost us less than half of what buying a single new ashford traditional would cost.)

finally, you want to see my favourite thing about the pipy? i saw someone complaining about this the other day, that their wheel's prior owner had 'gouged' it. but look.

that little gouge means someone else loved this wheel so much that their yarn wore a channel into the wood. and as soon as i stop holding my yarn back, it slots straight into place.

right where it's meant to be.

this wheel is older than i am—they're dated, on the bottom, and she was made in july 1972. she's only had one owner, a woman who used to teach spinning, but is elderly now and can't spin anymore. her daughter delivered it to me, and told me that this was her mother's last wheel—she'd gotten rid of the others, slowly, but held on to this until she was physically unable to treadle. fifty years! that woman spun on this wheel for fifty years.

i'm old enough that i don't imagine i'm going to get fifty years with it, but maybe i'll get lucky. either way, hopefully in another fifty years, someone new will be taking their turn, weirdly touched by the idea that this wheel has been so loved.

#spinning #hand spinning #spinning wheels #vintage #crafts #fibercraft #fibrecraft #i dunno why this makes me so happy #but it does #anyhow these are stunningly beautiful wheels #and they deserve a better end than rotting away in someone's attic #smartest raccoon i know

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goldenempyrean · 6 months ago

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I am LOVING your Marina stuff! Can I request a fic where Maya goes to work sick because duh it’s Maya, as a result she gets injured- nothing serious just broken ribs or a dislocated shoulder (basically anything that makes that makes coughing/sneezing/blowing her nose little bit more inconvenient). Cue hot Italian doctor wife looking after her :))

Doubled Down Misery

〚 Notes - This request was adorable so hopefully I've done it some justice, please ignore any editing errors, It's late and despite unintentionally falling asleep at my desk for 6 hours I'm still tired :,) 〛

〚 Pairing - Maya Bishop x Carina Deluca 〛

〚 Summary - What happens when a too sick to work Maya Bishop gets injured and ends up at Grey Sloan? 〛

〚 Wordcount - 3,400 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

Maya dragged herself out of her bunk with a groan. God, everything hurt. Each movement seemed to make a different part of her body ache, a bitter reminder of the consequences of her stubbornness. She knew she should have called in sick when she felt this cold settling in her sinuses a few nights ago. Maya needed to rest. Captain Bishop needed to work.

She’d hoped a nap would’ve had her feeling a little better but, in all honesty, she’d woken up feeling worse. The first call of her shift had been eventful. They’d been at the site 4 hours in the pouring rain, shouting orders and organising the scene had torn apart her already hoarse voice leaving it a raspy wreck.

The blonde sat up woozily, blinking slowly as she adjusted to the spinning room. With a sudden, violent sneeze, she hastily covered her mouth with her elbow, the force of it causing her to sway unsteadily. Maya groaned, leaning back to flop back onto her bed but the moment her body made contact with the mattress, the blaring of the klaxon rang out.

Maya's heart sank as the shrill sound pierced through her already throbbing head. She cursed under her breath before coughing deeply into her arm. She gave herself a second to compose herself before pushing herself off the bed, fighting against the wave of dizziness threatening to overwhelm her. 

By some miracle she managed to change into her turnouts without falling over and climbed into the engine. She slumped into the front seat, swallowing thickly as Andy slammed the engine into first gear as they hauled out of the station.

Honestly, she tried her hardest to pay attention as dispatch relayed the information of the scene they were arriving at, but her sinuses demanded her attention. Maya scrunched up her nose, hoping to alleviate the burning itch but it didn’t seem to help. Her breath hitched. Maya tried to hold it off but an inevitable, sneeze seized her, and the firefighter hastily brought her elbow to her face, attempting to muffle the sound. "’Iiishhiew!" Her body jerked with the force of it, and she winced, feeling the ache in her ribs from the strain.

Andy’s eyes glanced from the road to the sniffling blonde after her head ducked into her elbow twice more. She pulled down her headset and motioned for Bishop to do the same, “You sure you’re up to this? This storm isn’t letting up and you really don’t sound good Cap’.”

“I’ll be okay.” Maya nodded, clearing her throat with a deep cough, before sniffling damply, “I just need to not lose my voice.”

Andy gave her a look but said nothing, she knew Maya’s habit of pushing herself in times like this - the fear of being percussion as weak had been deep-rooted into her from childhood, something like that wasn’t easily overcome, “Well we’re only a block out now. Get yourself ready Mai’.”

“This is gonna be rough.”

✧.* 

Understatement of the fucking century.

“What the hell happened?” Carina’s worried voice yelled above the commotion of the ER. She had just been finishing up a patient’s paperwork when she felt her heart drop as she caught site of the messy blonde hair visible from behind the crowd of numerous firefighters and doctors wheeling a bed through the corridor out of the corner of her eye.

“Bambina?” Oh my god Maya!” The Italian practically dropped the file she’d been holding to race to her wife’s side. Maya was laying on her back, one arm clutching at her side with a visible grimace and the other in a makeshift sling as an oxygen mask was loosely attached to her face.

“Carina. Carina!” Andy backed up from the bed to pull the doctor aside, encouraging her to take a deep breath as the other doctors got Maya settled in a bay, “She’s okay Carina, she’s gonna be okay. “

“Wh-what happened? Maya- she’s-“The brunette spiralled, looking around desperately to make sense of things, she was too worried to think straight.

��Carina!” Andy gripped her shoulders and used her lieutenant voice, snapping the Italian back to reality, “She’s okay. I promise you, she’s okay. There was an incident at the scene. Maya ran in to save this little boy’s puppy and a support beam from the roof fell onto her. She was on oxygen on the way here for minor smoke inhalation but her O2 levels were improving when we arrived. We’re looking at a broken rib and or arm at the absolute worse, she will be absolutely fine Carina.”

Carina nodded numbly; her eyes glued to Maya as the doctors continued to work around her. She could see the small grimaces on Maya’s face, the way she clenched her jaw in pain.

She was just about to head to her side when the rest of the firefighters backed away from the bed, Jack and Travis came jogging towards them both.

“They’re taking her to x-ray, Dr. Altman said to tell you she’s gonna hand everything.” Jack explained, giving Carina’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. Despite their initial incompatibility, the two had grown closer with the clinic and Jack knew just what Carina needed to hear to reassure her, “She also said that they’re gonna put her in another room since her condition doesn’t require urgent care. She’ll be in B.04 when they’re done.”

The half an hour or so it had taken for them to be done felt like days. Time had felt like it had crawled by as Carina paced the room. The rest of the Station 19 team had been called away to another fire somewhere downtime and as much as they hated it, they had to attend.

She was sat on the little armchair in the corner of the room when the door was pushed open by a nurse followed by the bed being wheeled in. “Maya!” Carina’s voice was loud as she called out, instantly jumping up to be at her side. 

“Carina?” 

“Mio Dio,” Carina nervously eyed up the sling that Maya’s right arm had been placed in, her worried gaze following as she noticed Teddy step into the room, “What on earth have you gotten yourself into bambina?”

Dr. Altman calmed her down for a moment, flashing a reassuring smile, “Carina, Maya will be just fine. I’ll go over anything in a moment, I just need to set up a drip first, okay?”

“Okay.” Carina nodded but wasted no time in coming to sit on the bed alongside her wife as, the firefighter mumbling something before curling up to her as the blonde doctor carefully inserted an IV into her left hand.

“Okay. Well, let’s start with the worse of it. Maya had bruised several ribs and fractured her right radius, but please don’t worry, I can assure you theres no severe damage to either. She’ll need to keep the sling on for 4-6 weeks just to let the bone heal.” Teddy explained and instantly the OB could feel her jittering nerves relax as she squeezed Maya’s hand a little softer.

“However, we took her temperature on arrival and it’s actually a little elevated though and her WBC count is slightly raised, not to mention the fact she’s clearly dehydrated so we’ve given her a fever reducer and general fluids along with the pain relief.” Dr Altman continued as she read from the chart in her hands. Maya stirred in Carina’s hold, turning her head away to cough raspily against her upper shoulder, whining softly at how it caused her chest to throb.

“You can probably hear but her breathing is a little rough, but we heard congestion in her lungs. She most likely just has a viral infection from what Andy told us but ut we’ll keep an eye on her O2 just incase”

The OB murmured sympathetically as her wife hid a sniffle against her shoulder, “This really isn’t your day is it sweetheart? Did you not feel well this morning?”

“No- no, m’fine.” Maya’s eyes fluttered open, her brows furrowing as she tried to sit up a bit more, wincing as pain shot through her ribs. "Really, Carina, it's just a little cough. I'll be fine. I can—"

"No, Maya," Carina interrupted firmly but lovingly, pressing her hand lightly against Maya’s shoulder to keep her from moving too much. "You need to listen to the doctors. You need to take care of yourself."

Now that Teddy had mentioned it, the heat radiating from her was obvious. Carina leaned over to grab the thermometer which sat on the small nurses' station by Maya’s IV and gently inserted it into her ear, ignoring her fussing and protests.

“38.6.” The screen flashed and Carina stuck out her lip, “That’s really not good Mai, were you seriously working with a fever that high?”

Maya stubbornly shook her head, a defiant glint in her eyes despite the pain and discomfort. "I didn't even notice, Carina. It's just a little fever. I've worked with worse."

Carina sighed, her worry mingling with frustration. "Maya, you can't keep pushing yourself like this. It’s not good for you!”

She took a deep breath to calm herself down. Getting frustrated at her stubbornness wasn’t the right way to go about things. knew how Maya could be around doctors. Hell, she remembered just how frantic her wife could act around them. She was trying her best to keep her calm right now, but it was obvious how fidgety and uncomfortable her wife was getting. Ultimately all she could do now was try to soothe her through it.

As Maya tried to assert her stubbornness, she suddenly sneezed loudly… twice, trice? She sniffled and bit back a wince, clutching her one useable arm to her ribs.

Carina offered her a tissue, but she ignored it. Instead, Maya struggled herself to sit up, determination etched across her face despite the pain. "No, really, I can—" Her sentence was cut short as a harsh, grating cough overtook her, making her whole body convulse. The coughing fit seemed to drain what little strength she had left, and she gasped for breath in its aftermath, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

Carina's heart ached watching her wife suffer, but she maintained a firm, soothing demeanour. She gently rubbed Maya's back, her touch both comforting and insistent. "Shhh, amore, you need to rest. Let the medicine work. Let us help you."

“I don’t need help-“ Maya tried to stifle the cough, pressing her lips together and clenching her fists, but it only made things worse. She finally let it out, the sound echoing in the room, making Teddy glance over from her charts with a look of sympathy before discreetly taking a few steps back.

The coughing had caused wave of pain passed over her, she bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears she couldn't hold back. Her breath hitched as she tried to stifle a sob, but it was no use. The combination of pain, fever, and sheer exhaustion finally overwhelmed her.

"I just hate feeling like this," she whispered, her voice breaking as her face crumbled up, “I hate being weak."

Carina tried to calm her down, gently murmuring sweet nothings in her native tongue, an action which usually helped to call her nerves. But May was restless. The movement was enough to send a sharp pain through her ribs, making her gasp sharply. The tears flowed more freely now, her body trembling with each painful sob. "But I can't... I have so much to do... I can't just lie here."

Maya's shoulders slumped, and she let out a shaky breath. The tears spilled over, and she buried her face in Carina's shoulder, her body trembling with a deep, chesty rough followed by an exhausted sob. "I hate this," she cried. "I hate feeling so weak and useless. I’m meant to be their Captain.”

The OB rubbed her back soothingly, her own eyes misting over with sympathy. "I know, bambina," she murmured. "I know it's hard love. But you are not weak or useless. You are hurt and sick, and you need time to heal. That's all. That does not make you any less of a captain.”

After a few minutes of just letting her cry it all out, Maya began to slowly calm down. Eventually her sobs gradually subsided into sniffles, her breathing evening out as she clung to Carina. She was beyond exhausted. The two stayed comfortable together for a moment before Carina could feel Maya’s chest rising rapidly. She looked down and recognised the way her face shifted slightly, her eyes blinking as she fought back the itching in her sinuses'

The OB smiled sweetly, “You want a tissue bambina?”

“No, I don’t need—” Maya began, but she didn’t get to finish her sentence before Carina cut her off with a chuckle.

“Your nose is twitching Mai’.”

"You’re not fooling anyone, amore," She murmured softly. Her wife’s pale face flushed slightly, whether from embarrassment or the fever, “Just let it out.”

Ever stubborn, the firefighter tried to shake her head once more, but the any denial was pointless when she was sent forward with an exhausting sounding sneeze. With her dominant arm in a sling, and her reaction speed slowed as an effect of the pain medicine, by the time she’d lifted her opposite hand to cover it had been too late, Carina’s baby-pink scrubs were caught in the crossfire.

“Poor bambina, bless you. Ugh, I knew you were coming down with something when I heard you snoring the other night.” The doctor mumbled sadly as she reached over to grab a tissue from the nearby table, dabbing it gently beneath the blonde’s nose, “I’m sorry. I should’ve said something, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

Maya only shook her head, the last of her voice scraping from her throat, “t’s not your fault. I should’ve let someone else go in. I-“

Carina shushed her gently, “Rest your voice Mai, you need to give your poor throat a break,” She turned to Dr. Altman - who had been finishing up Maya’s paperwork and chart - and gave her a grateful nod, “Thank you Teddy for treating her.”

Teddy gave her a comforting smile, “I’ve told you already before that your family is my family, Carina. She’s okay to go home once that drip’s finished up. I’ll have an intern bring the discharge papers down in a few hours.”

The Italian nodded, flashing her an appreciative smile. She mouthed another thank you as Dr. Altman left, closing the door behind her. The two were left alone in the room, Maya’s raspy breathing and damp sniffles the only audible sound. Carina leaned down to press a soft kiss to her messy hair, “Do you want me to plait it for you?” She asked quietly, knowing it would make her feel a little better.

“Are you sure? I can’t smell but it probably smells of smoke.” The firefighter mumbled, sniffling thickly.

The OB gave her another kiss, “You know I don’t care about that, are you able to sit forward for me a little bit bambina?” 

Her fingers gently combed through Maya's hair, soothing the tangles with careful, practiced movements. She reached for the small pink bobble on wrist, lifting a section of Maya's hair to start the plait

As she carefully started weaving the strands into a neat braid, Maya’s nose twitched again, and she turned her head slightly, preparing for the inevitable sneeze. Carina, noticing the movement, quickly grabbed a tissue and held it gently to Maya's nose just in time.

The sneeze was forceful, and Maya winced at the pain it caused her ribs. Carina kept the tissue in place, wiping away the moisture with a tender touch.

“Bless you, bella,” Carina murmured, her tone full of affection. She discarded the tissue and continued braiding Maya's hair, her movements slow and deliberate.

“I’m sorry,” Maya mumbled, turning slightly to look over her shoulder.

Carina shook her head, a smile playing on her lips. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Maya. You’re sick, and you’re allowed to be taken care of. You always look after me, sì? Let me do the same for you.”

It didnt take long for her to finish the rest of her braid and it sat neat and tidy by Maya’s ear, safety out of the way. A much better alternative than her previous mess of tangles. She knew she couldn’t take away the pain and sickness entirely but anything to ease the discomfort she would do.

Her face lit up as an idea popped into her head, “Do you want me to go get you a drink?” Carina asked kindly, she knew Maya probably hadn’t had time hence her dehydration, “I can run and get you one of those sports drinks you like. The ones with electrolytes?”

“Can you get me the red berry one?” 

“Of course I can, stay put bella. I’ll be 5 minutes.” The doctor smiled, gently scooting from her place beside Maya, helping her settle back down before leaving the room. Her office wasn’t far away so she knew it wouldn’t take long.

She had a small fridge in there. One which her kept not only her emergency comfort food in but one she kept a small stock of Maya’s favourite drinks in. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen her wife dehydrated and she always liked to be able to have something on hand.

After walking swiftly to her office, she made a delighted noise of success when she realised, she did in-fact have the berry flavour that Maya had originally wanted. 

Carina grabbed the chilled bottle, feeling a sense of satisfaction at being able to provide exactly what Maya needed. She knew how much the little things mattered. Maya wasn’t sick often but whenever she was the brunette knew that all the small little acts of kindness was what would made her feel better.

When she got back to the room, she honestly had expected Maya to have been asleep - the fever reducer Teddy had given her was one that always made patients tired - but her eyes widened as she came back to see her wife straining herself, attempting to stretch over to reach the box of tissues sat on the nearby table.

“Hey, hey, careful, silly girl.” Carina sighed, coming back to her side

“I just needed-“ A deep cough interrupted her as Maya failed to reach out for the tissue box, but it was out of her reach with her only useable hand still connected and she gave a defeated sniffle in response, rubbing her knuckles beneath her nose instead.

Carina shook her head fondly and gave a gentle pout as she picked up the box and set it on Maya’s lap. She swiped a few before the blonde had the chance and held them up to her nose.

“Blow bella.”

The firefighter gave her a look and she could see the red flush of embarrassment creeping up her cheeks, “Maya there is nobody else here. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, just let me take care of you for once” Carina murmured in soft reassurance, “You’re safe.”

Whether it was her little speech, or the fact Maya was simply too sleepy from her medicine to care anymore but she did end up blowing her nose whilst Carina kindly held the tissues for her, carefully cleaning up her face afterwards before pressing a soft kiss to her warm forehead. It did feel a little cooler than earlier now.

“Good job bambina. That wasn’t too hard, no?” The OB whispered fondly, her hand coming to soothingly massage the blonde’s scalp in just the way she knew always made Maya sleepy. As Maya yawned, Carina remembered the drink she had originally come to collect. She handed it to her, making sure to open the small cap first.

“Here my love, drink this for me and then you can a sleep, okay?” She murmured, a small grin playing on the lips when the blonde budged up to make room for her on the bed, “Just a few hours and then we’ll get you home as soon as your IV has finished, okay?”

“Just a few hours?”

“Yes bambina, just a few hours andthen we’ll get you home and back to bed, okay?”

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bonnieisaway · 7 months ago

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Hi Bonnie, do you have any thoughts about Dai Bo?

do you guys know the sheer dopamine hit i get everytime i'm asked shit like this. like just the fact people want to hear my thoughts enough that people go out of their way to unprompted ask me about it. drugs could not simulate this emotion

i love dai bo :3 certified hardest character to explain to any person i'm introducing to the show fr

ok but fr though i feel like his appearance lets a lot of people forget about how deep his character is and how well written he is. because he's written fucking gloriously and he is shaped by his tramua perfectly. a lot of characters in this show have to confront this sort of cycle of violence and dai bo's is more familial and generational than most other character's. he only fought for his friend's son. and he fought so hard to break the cycle. like he's the most beautiful example of breaking the cycle of violence.

SPECIFICALLY with the scene with king pheasant where he's ready to straight up kill that bitch until he looks over and sees xiao fei. and he realizes that xiao fei does not need to see this. xiao fei will not be shaped the way dai bo was, and the cycle WILL stop with dai bo. and this scene is mirrored when xiao fei and seven are going to hurt king pheasant, where dai bo tells them to leave him alone. where dai bo fights to stop the cycle.

and the way his hatred for humans is shaped by seven. how seven is the perfect person for dai bo to have ever met. the best way to prove to dai bo that humanity has good, has beauty in it; this is a man who remembers NOTHING. not even his own name. if you're watching the show in chinese, he doesn't even speak the same dialect as everybody else around him. and this factory-reset, lump of clay of a person with nothing but his own instincts is so kind and trusting. that's how dai bo learns humans can be good so quickly. not just because seven was so kind and forgiving, but because dai bo realizes seven was inherently BUILT that way. that it was his NATURE itself.

and i love the way he clings to this, too; not even just this version of seven but seven himself. because it's subtle at first, because dai bo is not the kind of person who confronts emotions, but it's noticeable. i have an old post where i pointed it out before he confirmed it in season four; when seven is so amazed and stricken by the view of xuanwu, dai bo instantly dismisses and diminishes it, dai bo is constantly upset when seven leaves without him, dai bo is desperately clinging to the seven he knows and is terrified of seven being forced to return to that cycle of violence that he escaped from.

because like, of course he is! dai bo fought for his friend's son to escape that cycle. so to see this man, who he absolutely sees as his own son, have to return to the cycle of violence, let alone for dai bo's sake, of course it destroys him. of course he wants to cling to him and try and dissuade him; who cares about everybody else, as long as you're home and safe. xuanwu not only symbolizes a home far disconnected from dai bo to seven but in dai bo's eyes it's another massive perpetuator of a violent war. i mean he makes that clear when he explains xuanwu and stan - they are the ones fighting the war, we are the normal, smaller, common folk caught in the middle; shelter yourselves and enjoy your small life here.

but violence is neverending, isn't it? even when dai bo destroyed the chicken farm and the fighting ring, what happened? king pheasant found another perpetuator for his vice in stan. another hamster wheel of violence to spin, a super solider of propoganda and murder. something so much bigger than both of them. but dai bo has to accept that seven is an integral part of this 'bigger than them' bit when it comes to xuanwu. that he has to let go of this idea of an obedient, normal, casual seven. just like accepting your son isn't your little boy anymore, that's a grown man. and aside from the metaphor itself seven is actually at the perfect age for this. seven meets dai bo when he's about 19 and fairly skinny and small, and it's mentioned/implied he's grown a bit since meeting dai bo and we know he's 21 in season four.

anyways i love dai bo. i feel like he's underrated and we need to talk about him more. although sometimes i wanna ask the director like, why specifically dai bo and xiao fei were chickens. was there a meaning or a reason or do you think it was just cause they thought it was funny and also what does this implicate about chickens and pidgeons as a whole in this universe

#that last paragraph is mostly a joke if you think about it too hrad you inevitably get a brain aneryusm #sorry i took so long to respond i actually gave myself aminute to formulate real thoughts after seeing it this time #this is so new to me omg ... people wanting to hear my analysis and mentally illeness #yippee yippe yipepeee #anyway ily nonnie #scissor seven #killer seven #wu liuqi #seven

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nicoline1998enilocin · 7 months ago

Text

Reveal

PAIRING || Boyfriend!Young!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Pregnant!Fem!Reader & College Student!Natasha Romanoff x College Student!Bruce Banner

WORDCOUNT || 5.6K

SUMMARY || Your life is turned completely upside down when you discover you're pregnant despite not even being together with your boyfriend for a year. Despite this, everyone in your direct circle of friends and family is nothing short of happy for you both, and you're very fortunate to have such a strong support system around you during this time in your life.

RATING || Explicit (E)

TAGS || No powers AU. College AU. Pregnancy AU. Future Dad!Tony Stark. Established relationship. Use of nicknames. No use of Y/N.

WARNINGS || Pregnancy. Positive pregnancy test. Pregnancy reveal. Sonogram. Finding out the gender/gender reveal. Swearing.

SMUT || Pregnancy kink. Lactation kink. Daddy kink. Dirty talk. Praise. Teasing. Nipple/breast play. Grinding. Oral (M receiving). Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Multiple orgasms. Cum swallowing. Creampie. Aftercare.

A/N || This one-shot takes place during the events of 'A Small Miracle' and will give a small sneak peek into the spin-off of this AU, called 'Fifty Shades of Brutasha'! This story is proofread by the amazing @ccbsrmsf1, and I cannot thank you enough! 💙

A/N 2.0 || This is my last fic for the next week or two, as I'll take a short writing break! I can't wait to come back after my break with more stories for you all, but for now I won't be posting anything for the foreseeable future. Thank you all for your understanding and support!

EVENTS Masterlist || @fandom-free-bingo Wild || Free Space Masterlist || @multifandom-flash Compliments || I'll Take That as a Compliment

Photo: Source || All graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark Masterlist || AU Masterlist

"My Love? Can I talk to you for a moment?" you ask as you're seated on the large bed in his dorm. Tony has been working behind his desk while you were reading, and you've been mulling something over. You have to talk to someone about it. Thank God the person you trust more than anyone is in the room with you.

"Of course, Sunshine. What's on your mind?" he asks as he turns around and wheels his desk chair towards the bed. He gives you a reassuring smile, but it quickly falls when the following words come out of your mouth.

"What would you do if I get pregnant?" you ask him with a straight face, and you have never seen someone's expression change that fast. He goes from confused to concerned in about 10 seconds, and before you know it, he's on the bed with his hands on your belly.

"A-are you-" he asks, his thumbs running softly over the flesh of your stomach. His gaze is locked on yours as he looks at you with furrowed brows.

"I-I'm not sure, actually. I might be..." you say as your voice trails off near the end of the sentence.

"Is there anything that has you entertaining the idea of you being pregnant?" Tony then asks with an undying love in his voice, and you show him a small smile before casting your line of sight down to where his hands are on your belly.

"Yeah," you whisper, your hands finding their place beside his.

"If you are pregnant, I would welcome them with open arms. I know that our situation is far from ideal right now to have a baby, but if you are, I will do anything in my power to ensure they have all the care and love from us they could have," Tony tells you, and you can't help but tear up a little at his words.

"I think we should do a test before we do anything else," you offer up, and Tony chuckles because he knows you're right. He tends to go overboard when he's excited, so you definitely need to pull the brakes a bit.

"Yes, you're right, sorry," Tony says as he lets out a nervous chuckle, his hands running through his hair as he thinks about possibly becoming a Dad.

Almost an hour has passed since you first mentioned the possibility of being pregnant, and you're standing in the bathroom with your boyfriend's arms wrapped around you tightly, holding you close as you both wait for the timer to go off. Your heart feels like it will burst out of your chest as time passes, your nerves making you tremble in your boyfriend's hold.

"It's going to be okay, Sunshine. No matter the outcome, we'll be okay," Tony whispers in your hair. Now that there's a genuine possibility that you might be pregnant, he is secretly hoping for it to be true. Timing may not be on your side, but he doesn't care. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, which also fits into that picture.

You get startled as the timer goes off, and Tony quickly releases you so you can pick up the test. It's lying upside down so you can both find out simultaneously, and there it is: the result of your test is loud and clear.

You're pregnant.

"I- I can't believe- I'm pregnant, Tony! We're having a baby!" you say excitedly as tears run down your cheeks and a burst of nervous laughter bubbles up in your throat. Tony can't help but shed tears as well, as he will have a family with the woman he loves - you.

"We're going to have a baby, Sunshine! A baby! I can't believe it, oh my god!" he says as he holds your face in his hands, and his lips crash on yours instantly to celebrate the test's positive result.

"I love you, Tony, oh my god, I love you so fucking much," you say between your happy tears and hiccups that keep interrupting you, but the main feeling you have is pure joy. You never thought you'd become a Mom at this age - you at least thought you would have finished college first -but now that it's happening, it's like you're on cloud nine with your boyfriend and your baby.

"I love you so much, Sunshine, God I'm so fucking lucky. I'm the luckiest man on earth!" he says as he falls on his knees and lifts your shirt until your belly is exposed, and he peppers it with soft kisses.

"And I love you too, little Munchkin; I cannot wait to meet you," he whispers between tears, your stomach wet from them, but you don't care. You're enjoying that you're pregnant now and growing a tiny human inside you.

"I love you both so much," Tony says before kissing your belly and getting back up. As the initial shock dies down a little, you can start thinking straight, and the situation begins to sink in. Tony gently cups your cheeks again, his thumbs softly rubbing over the tear tracks on your cheeks.

He leans in to give you a soft, small kiss that instantly makes you want more, but he doesn't give it to you yet. Instead, he smiles as he looks into your eyes while you look up at him, his eyes glimmering with hope.

"Let's make love together, Sunshine; I want to celebrate our baby by doing nothing but making soft, slow, and sweet love to you for the foreseeable future," Tony whispers as he nudges your nose with his, and your breath hitches in your throat at his words. You nod, and he allows his hand to drop to interlace it with yours.

Tony takes a seat on the edge of the bed before pulling you to stand between his spread thighs, his hands softly rubbing over the bare skin under the length of the dress you're wearing. Your hands are lying on his shoulders as he leans forward to softly press his face into the flesh of your stomach with a big smile.

"We're going to have a baby together, Sunshine. Can you imagine it? I can't help but hope they look like you," he says as he looks up at you, his dark brown eyes glimmering with excitement.

"That will be a problem then, My Love. I hope they will look exactly like you. I wouldn't mind having a mini version of you running around," you tell him, your smile not moving even an inch.

"Maybe they will look like both of us," he says, and you nod.

"I would like it if our baby looks like both of us," you agree with your boyfriend. His hands move in such a way that he can pull you onto his lap instead of having you standing between his legs, and he immediately captures your lips with a deep, passionate kiss that has you grinding on his lap, where you can feel that he's getting hard already.

"Tony," you whimper when the fabric of your panties gives you just the right amount of friction, especially combined with the way his erection presses against your sensitive flesh. Your high is quickly building as he keeps working you over his clothed member.

"Cum for me, Sunshine, fuck! So gorgeous when you cum for me," he spurs you on and praises you, which ultimately pushes you over the edge. With trembling legs and feverish kisses, Tony carefully works you through it until you're back on earth again.

"You did so well for me, Sunshine, such a good girl for me," he whispers as he peppers your cheek and jaw in small kisses. Then, he finds your earlobe and nibbles on it to earn himself the cutest of moans from your lips.

He keeps this up for another few minutes before he takes the zip pull on the back of your dress and lets it glide down to expose your back to the room. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips as he pushes the shoulders of your dress down your arms, only to be greeted by the fact that you're not wearing a bra.

He gasps softly when your breasts bounce in front of him, and it's now that he's noticing the fact that they have gotten bigger, although you haven't been pregnant for very long yet. It only makes him wonder what else you've been hiding from him now.

"God, they will be so beautiful when they're full of milk, just dripping when they're too heavy to keep it all in. Are you gonna let me drink from them, Sunshine? I want to taste your sweet, amazing milk so badly," he almost whines, shivering down your spine.

"Yes, fuck yes! Want you to drink from me, Daddy," you whine as he takes one of your sensitive nipples into your mouth, his fingers kneading the other breast with careful squeezes, making you squirm on his lap. His cock twitched when you called him Daddy, and he couldn't help but smile as well.

"Call me it again, Sunshine," he almost growls after letting go of your nipple, ready to give the same amount of attention to the other one.

"D-Daddy," you say, biting your bottom lip when you see Tony's reaction. It's enough to almost send him headfirst into his orgasm, but he manages to keep himself together just enough to not cum.

"Love it when you call me that, especially now that I'm going to be a Daddy," he says in a breathy voice, leaning up to capture your lips with his once more. Tony's hands wander from your breasts to your sides and then down to your hips, only to catch you off guard when he's turned you around, and you're suddenly looking up at him while your back hits the mattress.

"That's it, you want to be Daddy's good girl, don't you?" he asks, his voice seemingly dropping a bit when he calls himself Daddy.

"Yes," you tell him, and not even seconds later, your dress has been pushed up to reveal the fact that you're wearing nothing but a pair of tiny, flimsy panties that are ripped off your body without any effort whatsoever. His shirt also finds its place on the floor, and you can't help but ogle your boyfriend's delicious body with your bottom lip pulled between your teeth.

"It's almost like you wanted me to rip them off you, Sunshine," Tony tuts before opening the button of his pants and pulling down the zipper, pushing them down and off his legs until he's completely bare. His cock is standing at attention between his thighs, and the veins adorning it have you drooling in no time.

"You like what you see, don't you? My little cockhungry slut," he says in an endearing tone, brow quirked and a smirk on his lips. You can never have enough of him and his cock, and you both know it. He decides to keep the teasing to a minimum this time, instead opting to slide in immediately with lots of moans and groans from you both.

Tony lines up with your entrance, his round, flushed tip sliding into your slick, dripping entrance without a single bit of hesitation. Your warmth and tightness welcome him in as you envelop him, your body moving up and down in time with his thrusts.

"So beautiful, Sunshine. I can't wait until your belly is round and showing with my baby. You're going to be the most beautiful mama I've ever seen," Tony tells you. Your back arches into him, your nails digging into his biceps as he works more of his length in. Together with the words he tells you, you're nearing the edge faster than you ever thought possible.

"Tu sei il mio sole," he whispers as he bottoms out, and your gaze is immediately locked onto his. This is the first time you've ever heard him say anything in Italian—you know he was brought up bilingual because Maria is from Italy—but it only strengthens your love for Tony.

"I love you, Tony," you say before wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in for a soft kiss. Tony sets a slow, leisurely pace that has him hitting your sweet spot each time, and your eyes roll into the back of your head every time he speeds up a little.

"I feel you squeezin' me, Sunshine; you're close, aren't you?" he asks, and you nod. You don't need much to fall over the edge, and without saying another word, he brings his thumb to your clit to rub small circles, making you clench around his cock as your orgasm washes over you with a loud moan of his name.

"That's it, fucking milk me! 'M gonna cum so fucking hard for you, Sunshine, 'm gonna fill you up with every last drop of my cum. If you weren't already pregnant, I would fuck you every single day until you were, oh my god. Feels so good when you milk my cock-" he says, suddenly cut off when you land a smack on his ass that catches him off-guard but also sends him headfirst over the edge.

He keeps rutting into you in short, uncontrolled strokes as he rides out his orgasm, all while still being mindful of you, and when he's nearing overstimulation, he pulls out with a groan. As he lets himself fall next to you on the bed, he pulls you to his side, his hand rubbing soothing circles over your exposed back.

"I love you so much, my beautiful Sunshine. 'M forever lucky to be calling you my girlfriend, and now my baby mama too," he says with a big smile, and you can't help but smile up at him as well.

"We're both lucky, My Love, and I can't wait to meet our baby when it's finally time," you tell him. Once you're both strong enough to stand, he pulls you into his shower, where he takes extra care of you, from washing your hair to lathering your favorite soap all over your body; he does it all for you.

While your conditioner is doing its thing, Tony stands behind you and places his hands on your belly. His thumbs rub up and down as he does, and you can't stop smiling.

"What do you hope it'll be? A boy or a girl?" Tony asks, and you shrug.

"Both are okay with me; I know I will love the little Munchkin no matter what," you tell him, and he nods in agreement.

"Though I have already thought of some names, I just never thought we'd get to use them so quickly," you say with a chuckle, and Tony turns you around.

"What are they?" he asks as he cups your cheeks, and you look up at him with an excited reflection in your eyes.

"I'm thinking if it's a boy, we can call him Hudson, and if it's a girl, I love the name Orion," you say softly, and Tony smiles widely at the names.

"Hudson and Orion, hm? I think they're both perfect," he tells you before leaning in and kissing you softly. Your hands are on his waist as you enjoy the moment—just you, your boyfriend, and your baby—nothing more and nothing less.

"How're you feeling, Sunshine? Nervous?" Tony asks as you're seated on his lap, his arms wrapped around you protectively. His hair is still wet from the shower he just took, and he's wearing comfortable clothes while you're wearing one of his football jerseys, which is practically a dress on you.

"Yeah, but I think I'll be fine. She's at work, and she knows we'll call, so I have faith that it'll be okay," you say to Tony, who nods. Your parents aren't in a good place now, so you have decided together with her that you will call her while she's at work.

"I know we'll be okay. She will love the news about our little Munchkins," Tony reassures you, and you nod as you think about the two babies growing in your belly. It has been a few weeks since you found out you're pregnant, and you have gotten the fantastic news that you're carrying twins, which makes you even more excited now.

A few minutes later, you get a text from your Mom saying she's ready for the call—she had an appointment with a client first. You quickly press call on FaceTime, and before you know it, a giant smile greets you and Tony, together with your Mom's soothing voice.

"Hi Buttercup, hi Tony! How are you guys doing over there?" she asks, and you both tell her everything's okay, but you have some big news to share with her.

"Mom, you're going to be a grandma in about 7,5 months," you tell her shyly, a deep red blush on your cheeks as you feel Tony hold onto your belly. It's silent on the other side for a few seconds as the news sinks in with Virginia.

"I- I- I'm going to be a grandma? Are you pregnant? I'm so happy for you two! I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma!" she says excitedly, wiping tears from her cheeks. They're happy tears, but you can't help but tear up.

"Oh my God, Buttercup, I'm so happy for you; I know you've always dreamt of becoming a Mom! Have you been to the OBGYN already, or do you have your appointment soon?" she asks, always being practical.

"Yeah, that's the best news still. We're having twins!" you tell her, and she completely loses it and sobs on the other end of the line, all while you are crying right along with her.

"We haven't found out about the gender of the babies yet, but I have to say, it was quite a surprise to find out she's pregnant, to begin with, but to get two at once is even more unbelievable! It still feels like I'm living in a fairytale if you ask me," Tony says, and Virginia nods, unable to say anything now.

"I love you both so much, you know that? And I am so happy to hear you're pregnant, Buttercup," Virginia says after you have talked a bit more about your pregnancy and visiting her soon as well.

"I love you too, Mom. I can't wait to see you again soon," you say before she has to go and get ready for another appointment with a client. Running her law firm comes with its fair share of things to do, and she loves it with all her heart, but she's also glad she made time for you.

With a last goodbye, you hang up and put your phone on the desk before curling into your boyfriend's hold. Your knees are pulled up to your chest, and his long arms are wrapped around you protectively.

"I'm so happy she knows, and I'm also glad she's the first one we told. She's missing out on so much now that I moved to the other side of the country, and sometimes I feel bad for not calling more often," you tell Tony, who nods in understanding.

"I get how you feel, Sunshine, but you're already calling as often as possible. But the good thing is that we'll be visiting her soon so we can look forward to that," he tells you, and you know he's right. You give him a soft peck on his lips before getting off his lap and grabbing yourself a snack as you're getting hungry again.

"Do you want a snack too, My Love?" you ask, but Tony chuckles mischievously.

"The only snack I want is standing right here and wearing nothing more than a football jersey," he says with a wiggle of his brows.

"Alright, but I will have to eat something first. After that, you can feast on my pussy as long as you'd like," you tell him with a smile and Tony's more than content with that compromise. For now.

You're about 18 weeks pregnant, lying on the treatment bench with your now very much pregnant belly exposed and your boyfriend by your side as he holds your hand. Your gazes are fixed on the small screen, on which you can see both your babies and the sounds of their hearts beating, echoing through the room.

"Everything looks good in there. They are the size they're supposed to be, and they're both developing well, so all that's left now is to find out their gender. Do you two want to know, or do you want it to be a surprise?" the sonographer asks, but you already know the answer.

"We want to know today," you tell her with a large smile. Then you look over at Tony, who's starting to get a little antsy as he looks at the screen.

"You are having—" she stops for a moment to confirm her suspicions—fraternal twins! This means you will have one of each! Congratulations, you two! I'll take some photos for you to take home, and after that, you're free to go!" She says, but you don't hear anything after 'fraternal twins.'

Tony has gotten up and cupped your cheeks before kissing you fiercely through the tears streaming down his cheeks. His world is complete now that he knows he will have both a boy and a girl, which is more than he could have ever expected. They might not have been planned, but they're already incredibly loved by you both.

"Now we can use both the names you love so much Sunshine. We can name them Hudson and Orion Stark," he says, and you nod. Their names go together perfectly, and now your babies officially have their names. Tony eventually lets you go, but only because he has to - if it were up to him, he would have held you for the rest of the day.

Not long after your appointment, you're on your way back to Tony's dorm room, where you spend most of your time nowadays. While Tony drives you two back, you invite Natasha, Wanda, Bruce, and Clint out for dinner tonight, and they all happily agree.

"I'm excited to tell them, Sunshine. Now we can finally tell everyone about our babies without having to hide anymore," he says as his hand caresses your thigh, and you sigh in relief.

"Me too," you say as you look at Tony with fondness in your eyes, a smile dancing on your lips.

"I love you so much, Tony. I'm thrilled to be going through all this with you," you tell him, and he smiles back at you.

"Me too, Sunshine, me too."

Once you arrive at Tony's dorm, you're both getting ready for dinner with your friends and already have the perfect dress to wear tonight. You grab a light blue dress that is wide enough to hide your growing belly, which is ideal for tonight.

Tony opts for dark jeans and a pink shirt, making the combination you two are wearing perfect for your little reveal in the restaurant. As you're putting your hair up in a simple ponytail, you look at Tony, who's getting ready beside you, and a burst of butterflies goes through your stomach as you take in his appearance.

"You're beautiful, My Love," you tell him out of nowhere. The color on his cheeks suddenly turns from a beautiful cream to bright red at your words, as he's not used to being complimented despite you constantly doing it.

"Not as beautiful as you, though. You're carrying our babies, which makes you infinitely more beautiful than I could ever be," he tells you, making you smile wide with his words. A warm feeling spreads through your body as he kisses you.

"I love you, Sunshine," he whispers against your lips before giving a few more pecks, leaving you feeling more loved. As you pull away, you notice the time, and if you two don't hurry, you'll be late, which you don't want.

Suddenly, the way to the restaurant seems to fly by in a blur. You both take an Uber to the restaurant and when you're only a few minutes away, the others let you know they're already there. They have gotten a table, so they will be there once you two arrive.

"I can't wait to finally tell them the good news. I couldn't hide it much longer anyway, but now I'm glad we can finally show everyone about our love," you tell Tony as you're rubbing your belly lovingly. Every chance you and your boyfriend get, you either rub or touch it, especially when one or both are kicking in there.

"Give me your hand, My Love," you say, and Tony does. He gasps softly as he feels one of your babies kick, and neither of you can stop smiling until you're at the restaurant.

As soon as you're both inside, all four of your friends greet both of you with many hugs, and it's always fun to get together. Even though you're just drinking water, the drinks are flowing plenty, and the food is delicious while the conversation continues. That is until it's finally time for dessert, and you look at Tony for strength and reassurance.

"Can I have everyone's attention for a moment?" you ask Nat, Bruce, Clint, and Wanda, and suddenly everyone's gaze is focused on you.

"Tony and I have some wonderful news to share with you all, which is why we brought you here today. As of today, we have found out we're having fraternal twins because I'm pregnant!" you say excitedly, and Nat and Wanda immediately hang around your neck to hug you.

"Congratulations, man! I always knew you'd be the first to knock someone up," Clint jokes as he pulls in Tony for a hug.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Barton," Tony jokes before letting him go and being congratulated by his oldest friend, Bruce.

"We're all very happy for you both. You both deserve it," Bruce says, and Tony thanks him profusely. It doesn't take long for everyone to congratulate the two of you, and before you sit down, you can't resist showing off your belly to everyone.

"It's a miracle I've been able to hide it from all of you this time because I feel huge!" you say jokingly as you show off your belly, and Tony comes to stand beside you, pulling you into his side. He places a kiss on your temple before giving everyone a proud look. The happiness is practically dripping off you both, and the fact that everyone is happy about the news is the cherry on top.

A week has passed since you told your friends about your pregnancy. Yesterday, you both told Howard and Maria the good news, and they were absolutely over the moon about their two grandbabies. Many tears were shed during that afternoon between all four of you, and they were nothing short of supportive when you both told them.

Today, everyone's invited to have a little party/get-together at their house, and while you and Tony have a shower, Howard and Maria are decorating their garden for what will soon be your baby shower.

"That's it, Sunshine, takin' me so well in that beautiful mouth," Tony groans as he grabs your hair in a sloppy ponytail, the water falling on you both as you're on your knees for your boyfriend. Your hand is wrapped around the base of his cock as you work him up and down, and your lips are wrapped around his sensitive tip.

"O-oh God, I'm close! Fuck-" is all he can say before you take more of him into your mouth, the salty taste of his cum coating your tongue before you swallow every last drop of it with a hum, your eyes closed as he works himself through his orgasm.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, Sunshine, but I'm glad I did," he says as he helps you up, being mindful of your pregnant state. Once you're up and steady on your feet, he captures your lips with his, and you never want this moment to end.

"You deserve everything life has to offer and more, My Love," you tell him, and he smiles before capturing your lips again. Once you're both done in the shower, you braid your hair into a simple Dutch braid to keep it out of the way. You decide on a short green dress for today, as you will just be having a party with Howard, Maria, and your friends, so you opt to keep it simple.

Tony has decided on dark jeans and a green shirt to match your dress, and you two look stunning together.

"Ready? I think the rest is here already," Tony asks, and you nod. He grabs your hand before leading you down the stairs and into the garden, where you can see everything being decorated with blue and pink decorations, and you can't help but laugh.

"I thought we were keeping it simple today!" you say to Maria, but she chuckles. She enjoys going all out for everything, and the celebration of her grandchildren is something she takes seriously. She has been prepping food for everyone - including a few snacks to accommodate your current cravings - and there are presents as well, and your friends will bring more later on.

"But this is simple, amore mio!" she states with her hands on her sides, and Howard looks at his wife with a raised brow before shaking his head in disbelief. He walks over to his wife before wrapping his hands around her and kissing her softly.

"I love you very much, amore mio dolce, but this isn't simple, and you know it," he says. Maria starts to glow as he calls her 'my sweet love,' and it makes you smile. You wish you and your boyfriend will one day share the same type of love as them, and just when you're about to say something, he stands behind you. His arms wrap around you to place his hands on your belly again, and you smile before leaning into his touch.

"Let's just enjoy today, Sunshine. You can sit down and let everything happen to you, as it's all about you and our babies," he whispers before kissing your temple, and you agree. The weather is beautiful, and the sun is shining bright, so you pick the comfiest chair in the garden to make your place for the afternoon.

Tony helps Howard set up some more while Maria goes inside to prepare the last things for the food; when everyone arrives, she lets them all in.

"Thank you for hosting the party today, Mrs. Stark," Bruce says as Maria shows them the way to the garden. She smiles broadly in response before saying there's no need to thank her, and they can all sit down.

It only takes a little while for everyone to have a drink as they sit and munch on the snacks. Clint and Tony are the only ones brave enough to try some of your weirdest cravings, which range from pickles smothered in hot sauce to hard-boiled eggs with Nutella, and it earns loud laughs from everyone as they find out they do not like it, even a little bit.

"Good, that means there's more for me!" you say. Not long after, you and Tony are opening presents, and they range from lots of baby clothes in blue and pink to matching onesies and stuffed animals. You will have enough to last both of them at least a few weeks after they're born.

"Thank you all so much for everything; your support means a lot to us," Tony says after opening every present, and you agree wholeheartedly. The rest of the afternoon is spent laughing, eating, and generally having fun, and it is an afternoon always to remember. You have everyone close to you with you, and this day couldn't be more perfect if you tried.

Meanwhile, behind the shed in Howard and Maria's garden...

While everyone is enjoying themselves, Natasha has pulled Bruce to the side because something has been on her mind for a while, and she can't hide it any longer. They're standing behind a large shed in Howard and Maria's garden, where they can have some privacy.

Bruce is standing with his back towards the shed while Natasha is pacing back and forth, and his gaze follows her with every step.

"Mylaya, can you please stop pacing back and forth for a moment?" Bruce asks Natasha, and she stops dead in her tracks. This was the first time she'd ever heard him speak Russian, but her cheeks flushed at the nickname he gave her: Sweetie.

"What's on your mind? You seem a bit... off," Bruce asks after pulling her close, and she casts her eyes down. He lifts his finger to her chin before meeting her gaze and smiles reassuringly.

"I'm sorry, Bruce. I- I don't know how-" is all she says before he leans in and carefully captures her lips with his. The feeling of her soft, pink lips has the butterflies in his stomach go crazy, and Natasha wraps her arms around his neck to pull him closer until they're standing chest-to-chest.

"I'm in love with you too," he whispers, their foreheads touching. He has known this for a while, and her reaction to calling him Sweetie cemented it for him. She has feelings for him as well, and Bruce couldn't be happier about it.

He tucks a piece of Natasha's flaming red hair behind her ear, and he can't stop looking at her flushed cheeks and pink lips before meeting her green eyes again. The moment it all sinks in is when she meets his lips for a kiss this time, and they're glad they have finally told each other how they feel.

This will officially start something new for them, but they're both very excited to see where it goes. As long as they have one another, they know everything will be okay, and they can get through everything life throws their way.

#fandomfreebingo: wild #multifandom flash bingo: compliments #tony stark #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark fanfic #tony stark x female!reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark fluff #tony stark smut #young tony stark #young tony stark fanfiction #young tony stark fanfic #young tony stark x female reader #young tony stark x reader #young tony stark x y/n #young tony stark fluff #young tony stark smut

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echologname · 3 months ago

Text

Hack your ADHD brain to do things

If there's a pot of dopamine at the end of a rainbow, I'd believe it because I've been searching frantically where to find this stuff. But for now, here's some ridiculous and maybe unhinged advice on how to get your silly brain to produce it itself. In my opinion, the more silly, stupid and simple it is, the better.

Side quest roulette

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7rard8ukBz/?igsh=aGxzdHNkaGl6MWxt

Tell yourself to do something that's NOT what you want to do and let the ADHD distract you down the correct rabbit hole.

Duck tape yourself to your task

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-78ilVJlyb/?igsh=am9pODRzY2xtMTY5

Duck tape yourself to your chair if you need to sit down and do homework. If you move to get up, you'll feel the gentle pressure and it'll remind you to stay focused.

Honestly, I did say some of these were out there 😜

Sing

Singing stimulates your vagus nerve which helps reduce anxiety and has numerous other mental health benefits and makes you feel good inside. Signing while doing a task is a great strategy!

Nested roulette games

The brain thrives with unpredictability and brevity. Doom scrolling is so addictive because:

Appeal - something enjoyable

Brevity - a minute reel

Unpredictability - you keep scrolling for the surprise of what's next

So use this to choose your tasks at random and only commit to doing them for a little bit. If I spin a wheel and the task is homework, spin again for a random assignment and again for what part of the assignment and set a timer for a few to 30 minutes max. Then you can do some proprioception stims like jumping jacks or twirl around to help you task change.

If your brain is chaotic, then giving it a chaotic and stimulating environment is what it needs.

Create an environment conducive to productivity

I can't be in my room, it's a mess, I don't have the energy to clean it but I need to put things away if I want to get to my desk to do work. So, instead of mixing my "lazy" and "work" environments in the same space, I'm only allowed to be messy and do fun things on the other end of the room that way my work space stays neat and tidy. It can help to have a room divider.

I focus better when I'm in work environments like school where everyone there has the same goal. So, it's my attempt to recreate the division where I associate different spaces with different tasks.

Sometimes I just get stuck but splashing cold water on my face or drinking something cold kinda zaps me out of that state and I feel alert and refreshed, ready to take on a task. You can set reminders to regularly get your cold fix to stimulate your nervous system and activate a mild stress response.

Name inanimate objects

If I name something, that automatically gives it "feelings." This is to help motivate me to take good care of things like my bedroom. If they're messy, they're sick and sad and it'd help me WANT to clean it up instead of just forcing myself to do it.

Coldness

Blanket head

For some reason, I focus better at night. So I try to recreate the same conditions by putting a blanket over my head, that way it's cozy, dim, less noisy and it's just me and my homework, nothing else.

Turn your routine into a mnemonic device

For example: Wisconsin Badgers Huddle Dramatically

Wash face

Breakfast

Homework

Dishes

The sillier the better. The idea is to make it easier to remember and make a habit of things to do.

Social media encouragement

Post your completed task in an ADHD encouragement group to get likes, positive comments or even help from others about where to start on a task.

Puppy dog eyes = YES!

Place talky buttons on the floor for your dog. Each one has a task or chore you have to do and when your dog presses one like, "Do dishes." you HAVE to obey. They're too cute to say no to and I'd do ANYTHING for them, if I'm willing to give my life for my dog, I can definitely do a few chores for her. Also, if my dog is encouraged to do this behavior with treats after I complete the task, she'll keep barking and begging and being silly and obnoxious until I do the task.

Get fictional characters to help you

Write notes to yourself about what's next to do or an upcoming appointment and sign them from "So and so." I'll listen to anyone but myself. You can even put them in a mailbox to make it more engaging.

Or use AI voices (for personal use ONLY! Voice actors are amazing people and it's mean to use their voice without permission) and a character give you your to-dos or words of encouragement.

ChatGPT scheduler

I've tried many times, but I suck at blocking out time for things. So I'll tell AI what I typically do, any goals and such and it'll give me what my week should look like.

Toy confetti and giant "pill boxes"

Create bins/cardboard boxes for each day of the week

Collect "toy confetti" (small knick knacks from diverse playsets like Legos, Barbie accessories, fidgets, small plastic dinos, Happy Meal toys etc...)

Write tasks on the toys and optionally an amount of time to set for that task

Place what needs to be done on which day in the corresponding boxes

The surprise and sensory diversity makes it fun and the boxes give it basic schedule structure.

Give yourself an important sounding title

Like, "I am the Princess! Everything I say goes!" And really get into the responsibilities inherent in your imaginary position. It can feel very empowering.

Mailbox

Set up a table or space for a box and some paper and writing utensils next to it. Optionally, have a cloud printer set up too. If someone has a chore for you to do, they can leave you a note in your box or if they have forms for you to sign, they can highlight where and leave it for you. Or if I have a note to leave for myself while I'm out of the house, I can use my phone connected to the printer, to print out the note at home (possibly placed so the paper falls into the box).

ASMR

Do your tasks slowly and listen carefully to the sounds of the tinkling silverware, tap your fingers on hard surfaces you have to wipe down...etc. It's no longer "chores" but yummy homemade ASMR.

Silly hats

Wear a silly hat for different things (like homework vs chores) so it acts as a cue to your brain to help you gear shift.

Different music genres help too.

Gentle parenting

Tell yourself, "It's OK sweetie, I know it's frustrating and you're trying your best to do the thing but you feel stuck."

Opposite action (DBT therapy)

Do the opposite of what your emotions are telling you to do. If you're feeling sad and want to curl up alone in the dark and do depressed things, you're just going to encourage that emotion instead of doing things a non-depressed person does like go outside in the sun and talk to friends.

If you're demotivated and want to sit and doom scroll, just get up, do a power pose and start with one little thing.

Video game roleplay

Attach a controller plug to a headband and controll myself to do things.

Fictional character roleplay

Act how a character would act doing that task. Mimic their body language, tics, lingo, humor…etc.

If doing the task stresses you out too much, pretend you're summoning someone else to do it and it might as well be your favorite character.

Demon slaying

The task that you NEVER seem to be able to do is a demon that must DIE! Fuel yourself with that adrenaline! C’ause that pile of laundry is just going to mock you and your executive dysfunction indefinitely. And we can't have that, so be a hero and murder your tasks! Those stressful little burgers are going DOWN!

Exercise audio games

Using an app like Zombies, Run! or Marvel Move, get up and get going, knock out missions while getting chores done.

AI assistance

AI works as my brain, it plans everything out and I just operate as the body taking commands of what to do next.

Dog treatment

Give yourself a treat for doing basic human things.

Cleaning hacks

Everything has a colored sticker which goes in the corresponding colored drawer/box/shelf…etc.

Give everything silly names. The dingawongs go on the desk with the other dingawongs and the jigawigas go in the drawer with the other jigawigas.

Try to pick up things with robot hands (mechanical hands with string and cardboard/plastic) or your toes. It'll be so much more fun and novel!

Video + Tasker

Record vids of giving tasks and use Tasker to automatically play them at a certain time as a reminder.

Best used with smart watch (like a super spy getting a secret mission 😎)

Quests

Mystery dispensers by each task (like by the cleaning supplies) and go around doing tasks in order to get the reward.

Optional function: they have AI and you need to send a picture of the completed task (checks image date and time metadata) in order to get the prize.

Puppet/plush care

Instead of saying, “I have to do this,” it's “I have to make sure Fuzzy does this by this time because I care about her and love her.” So it uses my sense of maternal responsibility for caring for helpless creatures that can't do anything on their own.

Also, it's Jesus's love language helping others! His law is love and that's how He wants us to show it.

VR game

Highlights items to put away and where and gives cute animations and sound effects for doing the task. Like a SIM but uses augmented reality.

Virtual pet reminders

Whenever it yells at you for a specific thing like food, associate it with doing something for yourself like getting yourself food too. You can't always trust yourself to set reminders.

Audio planner A

Computer talks and says what the task is, for how long and plays specific music to mentally que that task.

Example:

7:30 AM

“Time to wake up!”

“You have an hour to get ready for the day”

Plays morning music

8:20

“10 more minutes”

8:30

“Homework time!”

“You have 30 min until a break”

Plays Lofi Hip Hop

9:00

“You can take a break now”

Has a web interface with a checklist and whenever a task is completed, it says something like, “Congratulations on completing ____!” “You’ve earned 10 virtual coins!”

Audio planner B

Same as above but a playlist of time chunks and voice clips

MP3 to-do timer

Music clips with the task as the “song title.” Selecting a random song to be played, would be the same as selecting a random task and setting a timer for it, in this case, the run time of a song.

Candy task randomizer

Take a candy/pill dispenser filled with beads with tasks written on them.

Plush task randomizer

Plush with sound module with recordings of different tasks.

Bead currency

Every task completed is worth a bead.

10 beads = 1 USD

Keep track of beads as they accumulate

Can ONLY buy something for puppies IF there's enough beads

Adulting kid’s app

In a virtual world, their parents can set up a to-do list and they have an in game calendar, bank, phone and such. They're goal is to take care of a virtual pet whose needs are very realistic: unpredictable. Anyway, to take care of a pet, you need money which is earned by completing tasks (parents and teachers can send tasks to their to do and appointments to their calendar.

They have to plan out about how much food and medicine their pet needs and spend it wisely. They get an virtual invoice/receipts.

Their pet can spontaneously get sick and they need to make an appointment with the vet and pay LOTS from savings.

Delayed gratification prize dispenser

Write tasks on paper

Add paper to jar once complete

When the jar is full/reaches a minimum weight, it’ll dispense a prize

Flower power

Write tasks on seed paper

When a task is complete, put it in a jar

The jar is filled by the end of the week and the tasks can be planted!

Egg system

Fill eggs with different tasks related to homework or free/break time. And set a timer to complete the task on the egg I picked.

For free time, instead of picking up my phone and waste time, I pick up an egg. This way, I can do things I’ve always wanted to do but never do because I’d rather sit and do nothing.

Also, keeping a strict schedule is hard, this way, it's not mindless routine, it has an element of surprise and flexibility.

Possible Motivators

Throughout all species throughout the world and time, necessity has been the driving force and the reward: life and continued existence, food and health. They’d literally die without the skills they acquired from their parents, sometimes horribly. There's no, “If I want to get distracted and not do this thing, there's no consequences, I’ll still live just fine.”

I suppose drastic stakes are super effective.

Also, like the Bluey episode, “Duck cake,” even when Bluey got things she liked and enjoyed for cleaning up, they didn't fulfill her as much as cleaning up to please her parents and make them happy. So, doing things for the good of helping others is also a strong motivator. If we always live for the things that please us, for the things we want, we’ll never be truly happy.

Or Tiana in The Princess and the Frog, she had a dream she wanted SO desperately, she worked hard every day for years for it, never once taking her eyes off the prize. What dream do you have?

Make other things just as or more enjoyable than my bad habits.

Find something or someone to live for (for me, it's my dog's). It's different when you take care of someone you love because you would do anything for them. They're ALIVE, they have feelings and it makes you care about them.

Or if not, pretend you have a little kid to take care of and they follow you around everywhere and watch what you do. You'd want to make sure you're always setting a good example and demonstrating healthy habits.

Though it's probably not the healthiest, nothing kicks me into high gear like being frustrated/angry. I get an "I can fight everyone!" mentality and end up taking it out on chores and doing things. At least I'm not too irritable and it's constructive.

#adhd #actually autistic #executive dysfunction #adhd paralysis #neurodivergent #adhd hacks #adult adhd #adhd help

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hellverse · 10 months ago

Text

wrote a little thing (emphasis on little) about dean trying to provoke cas and cas being, well, a little slow about it. check it out on ao3 or below the cut if you wanna, xo

Dean was bored. So. Very. Bored. He was convinced that if there was anything left to learn, they would have learnt it by now. Sam had already clocked himself out about an hour or so ago, which in his mind, served as a pretty good sign that they could be done for the night. They could just continue this tomorrow. Or later. Or simply at any other time but now. Because right now, Dean just wanted to drag Cas to their bedroom, and certainly not for sleeping purposes. It wasn't like he was touch starved, the two of them spent plenty of time passing up on some good night sleeps, trading them for early morning coffees and midday naps. But sometimes, Cas would get into one of those stubborn, help-the-world moods, where nothing else seemed to register. One could call it dedication, Dean, however, liked to think of it as the evil reverse viagra he had to defeat.

And of course, as Dean’s luck would have it, they had been stuck in a bit of a loop recently. Although he was pretty sure Sam could handle it on his own, if he wanted, or passed it on to someone else, he and Cas were insistent on helping. At the end of the day, Dean knew he would’ve made the same decision, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. He felt somewhat normal for the first time in, well, a while, and wanted to stay in their little bubble just a little longer. Sue him. But...duty calls.

Dean was sitting with his legs stretched, crossed at the ankles, staring at the ceiling, when he turned his head to take a peek at Cas. The angel was burning holes into some book, concentrating at such a level he almost looked like a statue - an immortalised bookworm. Cute. Hot, even. There was something about the way his face looked, how serious he was, how his brows were just a little furrowed, and how the line between them was starting to show itself. It certainly reminded me of Dean of something.

“Cas," no answer, "Cas!”

The angel lifted his head in Dean’s direction, keeping his eyes on the book for five seconds longer before eventually looking at him. Cas smiled, something small and sweet dancing at the corners of his mouth. It was making Dean even more antsy, just thinking about how different his smile could be if he were to just-

“Did you want something?” Cas interrupted before he could even finish his thought.

“Uh, yeah, yeah, I did. Um, are you gonna be, uh, done soon?”

"You can go to bed if you're tired, Dean, I don't mind staying here on my own," he said almost matter-of-factly.

If only that were the issue , Dean thought to himself. Admittedly, he could just tell Cas what he wants, it's not like the angel couldn't return to this later, after all, he's not the one who needs sleep. The issue, however, would be that Dean wouldn’t want him to leave. He never does. And although they haven’t ever discussed it, he has a feeling that Cas doesn’t like it either. Call it a hunch.

As much as Dean couldn’t focus on the research, he also knew, believed really, that he had enough brain power left in him to come up with a plan. Okay, maybe less plan, more technique of how to turn Cas away from reading and more to, well, him.

While the wheels were turning in his head, he must've been staring at Cas pretty intensely, as his blue eyes suddenly left the page again, locking with Dean's own. He could see the other glance down for just a second, where his thumb was resting on his lower lip, before speaking.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm wonderful," Dean quickly answered, smiling, purposefully dragging the thumb across his lip.

Cas stared at him for a second, wheels of his own probably spinning in that pretty head of his. Eventually, however, much to Dean's dislike, he turned back to the book.

The thing about Cas was that he could be a little...unaware sometimes. Especially when his mind was focused on something else. And what is there for Dean to do, if not have a little fun with it? He wasn't opposed to some light teasing, provoking, especially when he could watch Cas slowly get the point of what Dean was suggesting, watch the little light bulb go off behind his eyes.

Even with the anticipation buzzing all the way down to his fingertips, Dean wanted to make sure he would see this through. It was already past midnight, but he was sure coffee could only do some good, considering the plans he had. And besides, Cas could have some too. Not that he needed it, of course, but it had become something of a habit for the angel.

"I'm gonna go fetch some coffee, do you want some, sweetheart?" Dean let his voice go sweet, putting a certain weight behind the pet name. They weren't exactly big on those, but when the moment calls...

Cas stared at him again, head slightly titled. Dean couldn't quite tell if he was getting suspicious or just a little ticked off by all the interruptions.

"Sure, I'll take some if you're going."

Dean beamed at him, as he got up from his chair. Before going to the kitchen, however, he decided to see exactly what Cas was reading. And by 'see', he really meant lean down and pretend like he had a reason as to why he's gone over to Cas' side of the table before getting the coffee. Dean positioned himself on the left of the angel, resting the palm of his hand on the table, and putting the other hand on Cas' back, lightly drawing circles on the skin with his middle finger, right above where his shirt that Cas was wearing began.

"Which book is this?" Dean asked, slightly turning his head in Cas' direction, but not looking at him.

"The, um, it's about-"

"No," he chuckled, "I mean the number, how many have you read?"

"Oh," Cas smiled, "I think this must be my fifth if I'm remembering correctly."

"Ah, well, haven't you just been such a hard worker today?" he placed a quick kiss on Cas' temple, before finally making his way to the kitchen.

"Such hard work should be followed by a good reward," Dean whispered to himself.

When he returned with the two coffees, Cas was still in the same position. Figures. He shuffled towards him, placing both of the mugs closer to the middle of the table, so as not to disturb the books placed in a half circle around the angel.

"Hey," Dean muttered quietly, letting Cas know he was back, just in case he was too focused and didn't hear him come back.

"Hi, Dean, thank you," he smiled.

It was moments like these, where it was just the two of them, the world quiet and calm like a field covered in snow, no wind and no footsteps, that convinced Dean he would never not feel the way he does now. Even before the confessions and first kisses, there was something about the way Cas would smile at him. It always went hand in hand with a pinch between his ribs, somewhat painful and warm. He kind of expected it to change, now that he knew the other felt the same, now that he had stopped telling himself it would never happen, now that the two of them were different. And yet it hadn't, not really. It knocks something in him loose every time, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't glad.

Cas put his book down, interrupting Dean's thoughts once again, presumably to take a sip of his coffee, and Dean simply couldn't pass up that chance. He leant down, gently placing his hands on either side of the angel's face, and kissed him. The immediate jolt at the base of his spine served as a great reminder of what he was after. Cas kissed him back with no hesitation, something lazy and content in the way his lips were moving against Dean's own. That alone was enough for him to rethink his ways, thoughts of just grabbing Cas by the hand and dragging him to their bedroom flooding his mind. But again, where was the fun in that? More than anything, he was craving to see that light bulb moment, when Cas' eyes turned a darker shade of blue, knowing that the buzz in their stomachs and fingers matched each others.

Dean decided to stay set in his ways, but that didn't mean his self-control was intact. He deepened the kiss, urgency colouring his own quiet sounds, tongue brushing against Cas' lower lip. He could feel one of the angel's hands, the one resting on his waist, softly grabbing at his shirt.

He ended the kiss with a sharp inhale, eyes closed for a second longer, til the ground beneath his feet felt solid again.

"Dean.." the rasp in Cas' voice almost made Dean lose his footing again. A beat of silence covered the room, letting Dean focus on the pulsating feeling in his cheeks.

"What was that for?" Cas looked serious but only in a confused, have-I-missed-something kind of way. It took Dean everything he had not to jump him again. Instead, he just flashed a quick grin at Cas and winked.

"Nothin', blue eyes, 's just because," he said, giving Cas one last peck on the lips.

He could feel Cas' eyes follow him, as he walked back to his side of the table, right across from Cas. When he looked up, he could see the slight twitch in the angel's eyebrow. For a celestial being, especially one that has seen a lot of what the world has to offer, he really couldn't be any more oblivious sometimes.

Dean sat back in his chair, the warm coffee cup in his hands matching the warmth in the pit of his stomach. Cas was back to reading again, though Dean could tell he was a little more fidgety than before. He smiled to himself, as he lifted the cup to his lips. He could pretend he was reading, but even that seemed like too much work. After all, he was more than happy to just watch Cas. With the angel already slightly on edge, it was only a matter of time before he was glancing up at Dean every few minutes.

"Dean...," Cas finally broke after about 30 minutes.

"What?" Dean answered, playing it up just a little bit to sound offended.

"Why are you staring?"

"Can I not look at my very handsome boyfriend?" he smiled. If there was a gun to his head, he'd have to admit he even fluttered his eyelashes a little.

The term 'boyfriend', similar to pet names, wasn't something that the pair used very often, but sometimes, well, there was just no way getting past it. Dean didn't necessarily mind the word, just needed some time to get used to it, he thought.

He could see the slight blush forming in Cas' cheeks. The angel lowered his head, about to return to his task, before looking back up at Dean through his eyebrows for a split second. A look nearly bordering on 'knock it off', but not quite.

The glances continued, almost like Cas was trying to catch him in the act, like something he did would give away whatever it was that he was thinking. Dean, of course, only saw that as an opportunity to continue his little show.

By this point he had already finished his coffee, the ring finger of his right hand sliding in circles around the rim of the cup. It wasn't exactly a conscious action, not until he saw Cas glance at his hand. After that, he made it a point to look Cas up and down the next time his eyes wandered back to Dean. The angel only squinted at him.

He had noticed Cas finish off his own coffee not too long ago, so after a few minutes of pretend daydreaming, he got up, hand under his shirt, the palm of his hand resting on his ribs. This time around it wasn't so unintentional, his shirt pulling up slightly, exposing the skin. If Cas could burn holes in him, he was sure he'd be all burnt up by now. But who was he to complain?

He slowly made his way to the kitchen for a second time, washing up the cups, and sorting out a few other things while he was there. It was nearing 4 am, and as entertaining as it had been, Dean was ready to actually get things going.

He walked back into the library with a purpose, heading straight to Cas. The angel didn't even have time to blink before Dean was already in front of him, arm stretched out as if he was asking him to dance. Cas put his hand in Dean's, suspicion in his eyes almost completely masked by the gentle amusement.

Dean barely waited for him to get on his feet before grabbing Cas by the waist with one hand and dragging him closer. Cas just smiled, head tilted to the left ever so slightly. Good , Dean thought, better access .

"I think you should be done now," Dean muttered before scattering light kisses on Cas' neck.

"Oh, should I?" the angel said, amusement now clear in his voice, Dean humming against his neck.

Dean lifted his head only to give Cas a look that in his head couldn't have looked anything short of hungry. That must've finally filled the missing gap in the angel's mind, as Cas' face finally mirrored the expression that Dean had been thinking about for hours now. The split second of surprise bled into understanding, and his eyes darkened. Maybe it wasn't so much a light bulb going off, as it was a light bulb exploding.

"Oh," Cas whispered.

"Oh," Dean echoed, teasing, whilst it was still his turn.

"I think you might be right," Cas said, as he stepped forward, hand resting on Dean's chest, softly pushing him back, "I've done enough work for today."

Dean let the angel guide him until he felt his back hit the pillar, the coldness of it seeping through his shirt, a nice distraction from the heat of his own body. Though that didn't last long, as Cas pressed against him, hands sneaking under his shirt, much like Dean himself had done earlier. Cas slid his hand up and down Dean's sides, his fingertips occasionally sinking into Dean's skin.

He launched forward, only to have Cas swiftly pull back like he was already expecting it. As soon as Dean let his head fall back, resting against the pillar, Cas leaned closer to him again, lips almost touching and whispered:

"I understand you've had your fun, but what about me?" voice sweet, smiling, moving further back and then closer again in waves.

"Cas..." Dean breathed just as quietly, his throat dry, "Cas, once we get to the bedroom you can have all the fun you want."

"Oh," Cas immediately pulled back, "well, if you say so, Dean."

As soon as the sentence left Cas' lips, Dean knew. He knew that Cas wouldn't let up until Dean was bordering on incoherent, and, oh, he just couldn't wait.

#rei writes #it's very short fyi #but fun!#cute!#nothing painful!#just dean and cas being boyfriends!#:D #anyways

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pavlovianfuckery · 2 months ago

Text

the mental reset button is in the ass, right?

MASTERLIST

A while back I made a post saying that a good hard cry and a thorough fuck while being told he's the most special, cleverest, prettiest boy, yes he is, would, if not fix him, at least do him some good, and someone was stupid enough to actually agree with me, so here we are. Didn't quite get all the way there but it is what it is. Clearly I should never be encouraged because this is saccharine as fuck, and got longer than I had planned, sorry about that. Especially fond of how you can tell at exactly what point the wheels fell off the wagon with this one

linky for those more ao3-ly inclined: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59115091

7.6k of pegging, banter and general buttstuff under the cut

Can I come over?

You frown at the screen. The text is, for lack of a better word, strange. Maybe not in itself, but he always prefers you coming to him, both for what you presume are egotistical reasons and because he's made his thoughts on your shitty little apartment pretty clear. Since you'd perhaps foolishly offered him a key, it's not like he really has to ask, and even if he didn't have it he'd no doubt manage to get in anyway if he wanted to. Yet there it is, and you're not quite sure how to respond. It's pretty early yet, only afternoon, but you suppose it'd give you something to look forward to.

Tonight?

His reply is nearly instant.

Right now.

That's new. You end up typing and erasing a few different things before settling on a simple:

Sure

Perhaps not the most eloquent, but it's not like you're going to tell him 'no', not when he's got your curiosity piqued.

⁂

Something is…off. You can't quite put your finger on what's going on just yet, but it's there. He's not in a bad mood, not precisely, but there's something. For starters, you suspect that he's a bit tipsy. A few months ago you probably wouldn't have noticed it but by now you know him well enough to be able to tell, and he's definitely had a drink or two. And then there's the fidgeting. Of course he's acting as flirtatious as usual but it's almost a bit over the top today, and he's clearly banking on you not commenting on it, but you notice that, too. For a while you play along, but eventually you can't do it anymore.

"Alright, spill."

He frowns at you from the corner of the couch, distractedly spinning one of his bracelets around on his wrist.

"What exactly am I supposed to," he takes a break from fiddling to do little air quotes, "'spill'?"

"Don't get cute with me, it's not going to work." You give him an annoyed look, because this is already getting old. "There's clearly something going on with you today, I can tell."

"You really think I'm cute?" When that little quip doesn't work, he has the gall to roll his eyes at you. "Nothing's going on."

"Are you high or something?"

"Not on drugs, doll, so you can relax." he wraps his arms around himself and shakes his head, not quite meeting your eyes. "Got to say, love how that's where your mind goes."

"So what, then?" As he opens his mouth to respond, you cut him off. "And don't say 'nothing' again, I'm not dumb."

"Even if it's got nothing to do with you?" Why is he so defensive?

"And if it does?" You shoot back, starting to get a bit ticked off. Why does this feel as if it's turning into a fight? Shit. "Look, if it's something you don't want to tell me, I'm not going to fucking argue with you. Just..." you sigh, hesitating as you bite your lip, "you're kind of freaking me out a little right now."

"Aw, don't tell me you're worried about little old me?" He's so quick with it, always deflecting, hiding behind that smart mouth of his. You can't deny that it stings a bit that he evidently still thinks that he has to do that with you. Even though he obviously doesn't return your feelings, you wish he'd at least know that he doesn't need to. He shrugs, tapping his fingers against his side. "Fine. Let's just say that my dinner doesn't quite agree with me."

"You're not going to puke, are you?" You wrinkle your nose at him. It's silly and definitely childish, but the incredulous expression on his face is worth it.

"What kind of question-" For a moment you worry that maybe you've pissed him off, but then some of the tension drains from his shoulders and he shakes his head, barest hint of a smile on his lips. "No, nothing like that." He shrugs and rather than volunteering anything else he flicks his eyes away. When the penny drops, you can't help but feel a little stupid. Right. That kind of 'doesn't agree with'.

"So..." Shimmying across the couch with a grin you lean in and close some of the distance, but not quite invading his personal space yet. "Is it something terribly embarrassing?"

"...No. Just drop it, will you?" And that doesn't sound anywhere near as convincing as he was probably going for.

"You're no fun." With a small pout you run your toes up the back of his calf, making him uncross his legs. "Can't you be a good boy for once and just tell me?"

"What makes you think it's any of your damn business?" There's no real heat there though, so he's definitely more embarrassed than pissed off.

"Well, you're here, aren't you? Kind of makes it look as if you want it to be." When he doesn't deny it, you move a fraction closer. "I'm not going to kiss and tell." You watch as he blinks slowly, once, then twice. So he's at least considering it. Besides, he hasn't got up and left, so it can't be that bad. Keeping your touch gentle, you slide a hand up over his shoulder. Instead of pushing you away he leans into it as you ruffle the soft curls at the back of his neck, letting his eyes slide shut for a few seconds.

"You're adorable when you're all shy."

"Not shy, doll." But his eyes remain stubbornly closed, so you're not sure who he's trying to convince, here.

"Oh, so you just really felt like playing twenty questions today, then?" Maybe you shouldn't tease him like this, but it's hardly your fault that he's making it so easy. "Or is this your idea of foreplay?"

"You're not letting this go, are you?" His voice is a bit gruff and he's still not looking at you, but with the way he's slowly relaxing under your hand, it doesn't feel as if he really wants you to.

"Tell me to stop, then." And then you wait. And wait. The moment stretches on for what feels like forever before he sighs, tenses up.

"I keep thinking about..." He trails off, then takes a few deep breaths, fidgeting again. And then, quietly, in a quick little rush of air; "I want you to fuck me."

"That's it?" Despite the words making want pool like hot lead in the pit of your stomach, you can't keep from letting out a little giggle. "I'm almost disappointed." He frowns, shrugging you off as he pulls away.

"Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Guess I was expecting something a bit more off the wall than, well…that." That doesn't really seem to help. "Just saying, since getting it out of you was a bit like pulling teeth, I was half expecting it to be, I don't know, you wanting to dress up like a cow and have me play milkmaid, or something." That gets a choked noise from him that's very nearly a laugh. He shakes his head in response, but now he's finally smiling, albeit reluctant. "Oh I'm sorry, were you getting me mixed up with someone else?" At his puzzled look, you gesture vaguely to yourself. "Pervert, remember? Pretty sure you've said so, yourself. Besides," you shrug, "I'm just glad it's something I actually want to do, because if it had been the cow thing I'm not sure if I could've hacked it, honestly."

"Noted." His tone is dry but he seems a bit less on edge, so you consider that little segue to have served its purpose successfully. "So you want to?"

"Mm. Just one thing, though. I get that you're on a bit of a brain right now, but if that's all this is, just leave me out of it, okay?" You very nearly cross your fingers. Now that it's been put on the table, having it get taken right off again would be no fun at all.

"Why?"

"Not sure if this is news to you, but I actually give a shit about you. Against my better judgment, I might add." You pinch the bridge of your nose with a sigh. Why are you even having to explain this? You know that he's not stupid, so what part isn't clicking, here? "If you're going to feel like crap once it wears off, I don't want to be the reason for that. So just..." You trail off, not sure how to put this in a way that doesn't sound like you're telling him 'no'. "Just tell me that you actually want it, that it's not just someone else living in your head right now."

And that's the rub, isn't it? Because as much as he takes and takes, him asking for something, leaving himself vulnerable like this, is not something he does. It just isn't. As the silence stretches out, you expect him to get up and leave. When he eventually moves, your heart lurches in your chest. But he's not turning away but moving closer, his face all wry amusement.

"While I appreciate the sentiment, this is me." He does a crooked little nod, hitching one shoulder. "Sure, it's not all me, but if it was none, I'd still be back at my place. Probably be white-knuckling it and drinking while I wait for it to wear off. So if it's all the same to you..." Now he's the one leaning closer, until his breath ghosts your cheek, "I'd rather you take care of me, hm?" And it's obvious he's trying to act casual about it, but you can see the way his brows knit together, and despite the airy way he says it, it still lands like a punch to the gut. Even if he doesn't mean it that way, it's still an admission of trust, small as it may be. It sets a heady mix of desire, pride and something dangerously close to love cascading through you and just like that, your hands are shaking. It's almost funny how fast it gets to you, how intensely, because it's not as if you haven't done it before.

"Fuck, you just scrambled my brain a little, I think," you breathe, suddenly not sure where to look. "I feel like I'm going to have to apologize in advance, here."

"Why? Change your mind already?"

"No, but," you let out a shaky little laugh, holding a hand up so he can see. "I might end up touching you like a diabetic middle schooler handling a candy bar."

"Not exactly inspiring confidence there, doll." He's teasing again, and in a weird way it actually helps, comforting in its familiarity. "You sure you're up for it?"

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." You plant a quick peck at the corner of his mouth. "I'll take care of you, if you'll let me."

"That a promise?" Even though he's trying to sound flippant, it's a bit more brittle than usual.

"You nervous?" If he is, it doesn't show in the way he kisses you, slow and sure. Still, maybe you should pump the breaks for a second. "Hold on, just, wait." With a sigh, he lets you push him gently away. "Where are you even, um...at, with this stuff? Really don't want to end up hurting you by accident."

"Not sure if I should be flattered or insulted, here." Shaking his head, he lets out a quick little huff. "You're not going to hurt me. Let's just call it dealer's choice, and if I change my mind, I'll tell you."

"That's fine." It's probably as much as you're going to get, but at least you can work with that. "Can I put my mouth on you?"

"You want to-" He splutters, then clears his throat. If he could blush, it looks like that's exactly what he'd be doing right about now. "Why?"

"Because I want to." Because you're beautiful. Because I want to see what noises you'll make. If he thought that you were going to try and get this over with as quickly as possible, he's got another thing coming. Since you're not sure if this will ever happen again, you plan to make a meal out of it, so to speak. "Besides, it's as good a start as any. It'll be good, I promise."

"You're so fucking…" Trailing off, he shifts in his seat, then lets out a shaky sigh. "If you really want to."

"Yeah, I do." Reaching for his hand you give it a squeeze, then press a kiss to the back of it, though you can't help but tease him just a little bit more. "Now, I know how you feel about my shower, but can you please be a good boy and get yourself nice and clean for me?"

"Alright, but only because you're asking so nicely," he grumbles, and while he looks incredibly put upon the whole way, he does go.

As the shower hisses to life, you busy yourself with getting things ready. The harness and the lube turns out to be the easy part, picking a dildo not so much. For a second you think about making him pick just to see what he'd do, but decide against it. In the end you settle for something brightly colored with a good curve and a nicely shaped head, a bit on the bigger side but with enough give that it shouldn't be too much. There's just enough time to lay everything out on the bedside table before the shower turns off.

The first thing that strikes you is how soft he looks like this, hair damp and one of your towels wrapped around his waist. The second is that he smells like your soap, and something about that makes some primal part of your brain almost purr. It's entirely nonsensical but you still can't push the thought down; yours, he's yours.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"For you, maybe," While he's clearly going for nonchalant, the set of his shoulders tell a different story. Despite trying to pretend otherwise, he's nervous, even if it's just a little bit.

"I better try to make it worth it, then. Come here." As you pat the covers next to you, he hesitates, but only for a split second. There's still a few stray droplets of water dotting his skin, making you ache to kiss each and every one away as he reclines next to you. The leisurely way he stretches out on his side is clearly aiming for casual, but not quite getting there. "Do you still want me to?"

"You don't need to keep asking." He frowns as you reach down to card your fingers through his already messy hair. "Are you going to get on with it or do I need to get a signed permission slip first?"

"Depends. Do you have one?" You grin, because this, you know. This is familiar and easy. "It'll have to be notarized and in trip-"

You hadn't been expecting him to let you finish, but you're still caught off guard by how impatient he is. Now that things are getting more real he seems more concerned with getting it over with than actually enjoying it, and the kiss is deep, almost urgent. Putting a hand on his shoulder, you push to give yourself some space and while he frowns at you, he doesn't fight it.

"You always take such good care of me, so just relax and let me take care of you for once," you press a quick, soft kiss to his lips, "there's no rush." This time around it's better as he simply lets himself be kissed but he still pulls at you, dragging you down. There's nothing nervous about his hands sliding up the back of your shirt though, or the way his hips lift as you pull the towel away, leaving him bare. Gliding a hand over the exposed skin, it never ceases to amaze you how someone so sharp can be so soft to touch. Even though he doesn't mark easily it's not that hard to imagine what that would look like as you drag your nails over the swell of his ass.

"Now who's rushing?" He murmurs as you grab at him, blunt fingernails digging in as you gently squeeze.

"I'm not," you sigh, giving him another squeeze just because you can, "I'm just…enjoying."

"Yeah?" Sliding a hand over your stomach he rucks the shirt up until he's cupping your breast, rubbing the pad of his thumb in teasing little circles around your nipple and making you shiver. The hint is obvious enough and as you pull the top off, he watches hungrily. When your hands go to the fly of your jeans next, he lets out a little relieved huff. "Was almost starting to feel a bit self-conscious, here."

"Sure you were." You can only barely keep from rolling your eyes at him. There are plenty of words that come to mind when you think of him, but self-consciousness is not one of them. When your jeans are finally kicked off and discarded over the side of the bed, they're quickly followed by your underwear.

"That's better," he hooks his leg over yours and pulls you close, grinding his half-hard cock against your thigh. Despite the crudeness of the gesture it still feels intimate, and it makes you wish that you could truly have him, that he'd be yours, for real and not just for the moment. Instead, you'll simply have to take what you can get. Pushing him onto his back is nearly effortless, he goes with it so easily. Sucking a lazy trail of kisses down the side of his throat has his eyes fluttering shut as he cranes his neck to give you better access.

"You're so beautiful…" You sigh, mouthing at the line of his clavicle, tracing the delicate bone with your teeth and dipping your tongue into the hollows before sucking the beginnings of a bruise into the sensitive skin at the join between his shoulder and neck. "It almost isn't fair."

"Careful, there," his voice is a soft rumble under your lips as you kiss your way down his chest, "keep talking like that and I might start to grow an ego."

"Mm, can't have that, can we?" You wish that you could see his face right now, because the noise he makes as you drag your tongue over one of his nipples is damn pretty, too. Enjoying the way his breath hitches, you can't help doing it a few more times before moving on.

While you do have an end point in mind, it's hard not to get sidetracked as you kiss your way down his body, briefly dipping your tongue into his navel as you go. Usually he's the one between your legs and not the other way around, but you don't mind the reversal. Not when he spreads them so readily, the soft hairs there tickling your lips as you kiss the insides of his thighs. For a second you're sorely tempted to bite him, to litter the creamy skin with bruises, but instead you nuzzle him gently, trailing kisses up to the crease of his thigh. Licking a fat stripe all the way up to his hip is messy and entirely self-indulgent, but you do it anyway. As you suck a bruise into the line of his hipbone he bucks underneath you, stiffening cock brushing your cheek. Even though you hadn't been planning to, you kiss him there too, running your tongue up the seam between his balls and up his shaft before wrapping your lips around the swollen tip.

"Fuck, doll," he rasps, chest hitching as he settles a hand over the back of your neck. The grip is gentle though, which is good since he'd just reminded you what you were actually supposed to be doing. Still, you give him a few slow sucks before pulling away, drawing a frustrated little sound from him. You press one last kiss to the tip of his cock before tapping his hip.

"This'll be easier if you turn over." He's quicker about it than you'd thought he'd be, rolling over onto his stomach without protest. The smooth lines of his back almost make your mouth water and for a moment all you want to do is kiss him again, every single inch, from the curve of his shoulder and down the dip of his spine. Instead, you grab his hips, gently directing him. "Up a little bit, sweetheart." For a moment you think that he might comment on your choice of words but in the end he doesn't, only hesitating for a second before getting on his hands and knees. Inwardly, you heave a sigh of relief. "For a minute I was worried you were going to make me say 'please'." Gliding a hand over his ass, you hum. "You're very pretty like this too, you know. How's that ego coming along?" That gets you a small huff and an eye roll in return.

"You don't have to," he licks his lips, then looks away. "It's not like I'll break if you don't, you could just-"

"I know." You press a quick kiss to one of his cheeks, giving the other one a squeeze. "Really want to, though. Think you can let me, just a little?" He's so tense that he's almost vibrating under your hands, but he lets you spread him open, shivering as your breath wafts over him. When you lap at him the sound he makes has you wishing all over again that you could see his face right now, but you only continue for a few moments more before pulling away, running a hand down his side. "Want me to keep going?"

"Yeah, that's…" he trails off, sighing as you lick at him again. Running the tip of your tongue around his rim has him letting out a low moan. For once there's no wisecracks, none of his little power plays, just the rustle of the sheets and him slowly relaxing into the intimate touch with hushed little noises you're pretty sure he doesn't mean to make. When you probe at his entrance with the tip of your tongue he swears quietly under his breath, back starting to arch as he leans into it with something that's almost a whine, and as you push in as far as you can, that 'almost' turns gossamer thin. The feeling of being the one that picks him apart for once is something that you can definitely see yourself becoming addicted to. Every little sound from his pretty mouth goes straight to your core, the heady feel of being the one doing that to him making you slick with want. By the time you press one last sloppy kiss to his asshole your jaw is getting sore, but seeing the mess you've made of him makes it worth it. He's trembling, cock dribbling pre-come, back tense and altogether too lovely.

"You…" he pants, almost sounding disappointed, "you're stopping?"

"Oh, so you liked that?" You mouth at his cheek before biting down on the soft flesh, just a little. "It was kind of hard to tell."

"Fuck you." The words are a bit too slow and shaky to be entirely convincing.

"Is that your way of saying you changed your mind?" You run a finger over his saliva-slick entrance, gently pressing against it. Rather than responding right away he presses back against you, but when that doesn't work to speed things along he hangs his head, his frustration palpable as he heaves a sigh.

"…No."

"Just checking." As you keep rubbing at him in soft little circles he shivers, and that's about as much of this as you can take. "Not to complain about the view, but can we move?" Planting a quick kiss at the small of his back, you gently press your fingertip against him, just teasing.

"You know the kid-glove treatment really isn't necessary, right?" Despite the huffy way he says it, he's not pulling away.

"I know." And you do know, but that doesn't mean you feel like skipping ahead either, not when he seems to be enjoying it, no matter how much he tries to pretend otherwise. "I just want to make sure you feel good, you deserve to. Besides, I'm enjoying the hell out of this." Bending back down you drop a kiss to his ass-cheek, sucking a bruise into the unmarked skin before poking the back of his thigh. "Now move, I want to play with you some more."

"Someone's bossy tonight." But he does move, stretching out on his back and giving you a salacious look as he spreads his legs. "This better?"

"A little. Still room for improvement, though." With that, you grab the discarded pillows at the end of the bed before tapping his side. "Up."

"See what I mean? Bossy." He lets you slide the pillows under his hips though, and while not perfect, it's an improvement as far as angles go. At least this way, you'll be able to see what you're doing. Ignoring his little quip, you kneel between his legs and lean forward, caging him in with your arms. It's not a position you're that used to being in, not this way around, but it's one you could definitely get used to.

"You good like this?"

"Will it make you get on with it faster if I say yes?" He shoots back with a lopsided grin, hooking his legs around your waist and grinding up against you.

"Pretty sure it wouldn't kill you to stow the attitude," you sigh, bending down to nuzzle the side of his neck, humming as you plant a few small kisses there. "Can you do that for me and maybe save the mouthing off for some other time?"

"And here I thought you liked my mou-" Before he can finish you bite down, hard enough to leave a bruise and make him let out a small laugh, legs dropping back down. "Alright, point fucking taken," he groans, the vibrations of his voice humming against your teeth. "I'll behave."

"Good." Dragging your tongue over the reddening skin, you give the spot one last hard suck before letting go and reaching for the bottle of lube on the bedside table. You half expect him to start right up again, but he doesn't. Instead he simply watches as you slick your fingers up, eyes heavy-lidded and hands twitching restlessly at his side. As you circle his entrance he shivers again, legs spreading a bit wider apart.

"This okay?" You flick your eyes to his face as you sink a finger into him, watching the way his throat moves as he swallows, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

"Not made of glass, doll," he murmurs as you gently thrust a few times, "don't have to be so damn careful." Rather than argue you add another finger, making him let out a small gasp. Despite his earlier protests, being thorough seems to have paid off because he's relaxed and pliant, taking the added digit easily. Pressing a third finger against him, you hesitate.

"A bit more?"

"Yeah," he quickly nods, brows knitting as he angles his hips up, "yeah, you can, it's fine…" Maybe it'd be better to slow down a bit, but then he's pushing against you, still so impatient. Stroking down his thigh with your free hand, you gently grab his hip as you slowly sink another finger into him, making him let out a quiet groan. There's a bit more resistance this time, but he doesn't tell you to stop. When you're finally pressed all the way inside you simply hold still, feeling the echo of his heartbeat around your fingers, faint and impossibly slow.

"God, I love touching you like this," you moan as you twist your fingers, dragging a choked little noise from him as you savor the way he feels wrapped around them, "you're so soft." Just watching the way they disappear into him has you aching, making your thighs go slick. Flexing a few times, you hook your fingers upwards slightly, his breath first stuttering and then becoming a drawn out moan when you find what you're looking for.

"Fuck," he groans, hands loosely gripping the sheets as his eyelids flutter shut, "do that again…" So you do, pressing upwards and sliding the pads of your fingers in massaging little circles, enjoying the way it makes his brows furrow and jaw go a bit slack.

"You're being so good for me right now." Giving his hip a little squeeze you rub your thumb over the line of his hip bone, "you're so lovely." And he is, the slow movement of your fingers making his cock twitch and leak, dragging breathy little sounds from his mouth with what feels like barely any effort at all. You wonder if this is what it must be like for him all the time, when he's the one making you unravel with just a touch. It's addictive and you half wish you could spend the rest of the evening just like this, with him wrapped around your fingers, letting you work him over until he's like putty in your hands, spent and messy.

"You gonna keep me waiting much longer?" It's still impatient, but it might have been a bit more convincing if he wasn't half moaning, the words coming out in uneven little fits and starts.

"Just a bit more, promise it won't be long." For a minute you consider trying to add another finger just to see if you can, but in the end you decide against it. "You really want it?" Still slowly thrusting right into the spot that keeps forcing those sweet noises out of him, you don't wait for a response before dipping your head down to lap at his half-hard cock, making him let out a low strangled sound. For a moment you're tempted to take him into your mouth properly, to bring him off like this and feel him spasm around your fingers as he fills your throat. It takes a fair bit of self control to keep from doing exactly that but you manage to pull yourself away, even though it almost hurts to do it. "Say yes, then."

"Fuck, yes." The response is a bit unsteady, but between patience starting to run low and your fingers thrusting into him, it's quick. For a moment you think about turning the tables, make him beg and say 'please' the way he likes to do to you, but in the end you dismiss the idea. It might be pressing your luck a step too far, you want to see this through properly, not piss him off.

"Alright," you drop a kiss to his belly, giving your fingers one last wiggle, "just give me a minute." As you withdraw, he lets his head fall back against the mattress with a low frustrated sound. It almost makes you feel a bit bad for making him wait for it, but only almost.

Assembling the harness and slipping it on is easy and if he has anything to say about your choice of dildo, he tactfully keeps it to himself. As you kneel between his legs again you can't keep from leaning in to give him a quick kiss but he doesn't seem to mind, responding eagerly as he pulls you down.

"You should…" He mumbles against your lips as your faux cock bumps against his real one.

"I will, just let me…" As you untangle yourself from his arms, he only reluctantly lets you go. Grabbing the lube again, you make sure to be as generous as possible as you slather the thick gel over the toy.

"There's easier ways of doing this, you know." It's more teasing than actual complaining on his part, though.

"Oh, I'm aware," you stroke his thigh, the soft hair there tickling your fingertips, "but I really want to look at your pretty face when I'm fucking you." The angle isn't quite right, so you grab the base of the dildo and push it down, dragging the tip of it over his entrance. "Just put your legs up for me and you can have it, love." For a moment you think he might not do it, but a gentle push is all it takes.

"This work?" This time, everything lines up much better. He's incredibly pretty like this, disheveled and spread out like a work of art, and for a moment the vulnerability of it almost makes you choke.

"It's perfect." Moving in closer, you grab hold of one of his raised legs and drop a kiss to the inside of one bent knee. "You're perfect." As you steady the toy with your hand and press against his opening he tenses up but it quickly passes, letting you start to push inside. It's slow, feeling like it's two steps forward and one step back, every movement making his breath hitch, but he doesn't tell you to stop. When his body finally yields and the head pops in, you almost moan right along with him. "You sound so damn good," you try to hold still, but it's not as easy as it perhaps should've been. "Not hurting you, am I?"

"No." Head falling back, he frowns, taking a few gasping breaths. "Shit, that's a lot."

"Too much?" Despite knowing how durable he is, you can't quite keep a note of worry out of your voice, "do you want me to stop?"

"Don't you fucking dare." Reaching up, he grabs for any part of you he can, which in this position isn't a whole lot. In the end, he wraps his fingers around your forearm, keeping you from pulling away. "I'll be fine, just…go slow."

"I will, just try to relax for me." You tighten the grip on his legs, steadying him as you slowly push deeper at what feels like a fraction of an inch at a time. Every sound tumbling from his mouth sends a jolt of pleasure through you until you're almost drunk off it, the thought that you're the one making him do that. That he trusts you enough to let you. Despite the almost glacial pace he's still trembling, breath coming in almost frantic little gasps, the grip on your arm verging on vicelike. "Just breathe," you give his knee a reassuring squeeze, "I've got you, you're doing so, so well, just a bit more…" Even though it ends up sounding mostly like nonsense it does seem to help, his grip loosening and legs going a bit less tense. You don't know where to look as you push the rest of the way in, eyes flicking between his face and his opening as you slide home. When you're finally pressed against him all the way inside, he swears under his breath. "You alright?"

"Yeah." Nodding a bit shakily, he lets his hands fall down to grip the sheets again, "still a hell of a lot, but it's…" You watch the way his stomach tenses and hips twitch as he tries to grind up against the toy with a sigh, brows furrowing, "it's fucking good, though…"

"Let me know when I can move." For a minute you just watch him, trying to stay still and give him time to adjust. Running your hands over his calves, you can't keep from smiling at the way his toes curl when you roll your hips slightly, just barely nudging him.

"I think…" He wets his lips, hesitating for a second before slipping a hand down to lightly stroke himself, "you can move a little, just…"

"Slow, I know." It takes a few tries to find a rhythm, only partly because you don't want to rush. Mostly it's because it's hard to look away from him touching himself, even though he's only half-hard and just lazily stroking, not even trying to get off. You're not sure if he relaxes into it so easily because of something you do or if it's the brain kicking in, but it doesn't feel anywhere near as important as the sound he makes when you start thrusting into him with longer, fuller strokes. And you know that you should probably shut up, but you're not sure how. Not when he's making the sweetest noises at every roll of your hips, all whispered filth and breathless little moans, not when he's gripping the sheets until his knuckles turn pale. Certainly not when you've got his thighs tensing under your hands as he lets you fold him almost in half. "You're so fucking beautiful like this."

He's already looking half a mess, gasping for breath that you know he doesn't really need, and as you slow down for a few seconds to give your legs a rest, he reaches for you again. Rather than fight it you let him pull you down, crashing his lips into yours with a desperate sound that goes straight to your aching, neglected core. He's holding on so tightly that it's difficult to move, his cock hard and leaking, rubbing against your belly as you rock into him. Something about the way he clings to you makes your heart swell until it feels as if it might crack your ribs and you know that it's stupid, but maybe it's alright, maybe you can say it just this once. It'll just be part of whatever this is and it'll be fine and-

"I love you." It's quiet, almost getting lost in the sound of your bodies sliding against each other, but you know he's heard it because for a second he tenses up, looking almost pained.

"You really fucking shouldn't." He's so quick with it even though his voice breaks and with the way his face contorts and eyes flutter shut, you know you've probably messed up, possibly badly. It's not enough to make you stop though because he's still holding onto you in any way that he can, not pushing you away.

"I know," you try to keep your voice steady, though it's not entirely successful, "I know, but let me anyway." Panting, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, hands fumbling at you as he bites down, making you flinch at the dull press of his teeth. It's more from surprise than pain but you can tell that it's going to bruise as he sucks at you, seemingly determined to leave a mark. As his shoulders hitch you're not sure what to do except softly pet his hair as you rock against him, letting him muffle his stuttering little moans against your skin. "Won't you please look at me?" When he doesn't respond, you go still. "Do you need me to stop?" That gets a reaction, making him reluctantly let you go, and for a second you're sure that you've ruined it.

"No, don't." It's a bit ragged around the edges and he quickly hooks a leg around your back to keep you from pulling away. "Don't stop." He doesn't quite look at you as you straighten back up, though. Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut?

"Still good, then?" Your hand moves almost on its own and before you can stop you're reaching down and stroking his cheek, thumb rubbing over his cheekbone. When he leans into it with a soft sound it feels as if your heart might crumple like tissue-paper in your chest.

"Yeah, still good." His tone is flippant as he digs his heel into the small of your back to give you a little push but even though he quickly blinks and looks away, you can see that his eyes are a bit too bright. "Would be better if you moved, though."

It's surprisingly easy to fall back into it and find the rhythm again, and even though you're still not going very fast or even that hard, it doesn't take very long to have him trembling underneath you. You can't even bring yourself to feel offended that he's laying back and letting you do all the work even as your legs are starting to burn from the effort, not when every thrust has the most delicious noises spilling from his pretty mouth, making your cunt reflexively clench around nothing. It's like a perfectly lovely form of torture, to only be able to watch and listen to him slowly fall apart without any relief of your own. A slight change of angle has him almost melting into the mattress, legs quivering and drooping until you end up supporting most of their weight yourself, but you can't find it in you to mind. It's not like they're heavy and he looks so perfect like this, awash with pleasure.

"Like that, keep going…" There's an edge of urgency to his voice as his eyes slide shut, brow furrowing in concentration. "Don't fucking stop…" And you try, you do, watching the way he twists the sheets in his hands, desperation etched into every line of his body as he tenses up, then falls back down with a frustrated noise, mouth falling open as he pants. "Felt like I was going to fucking come, fuck," his voice is reedy with it as he almost squirms.

"I want you to," you rub a hand down the back of his thigh, watching the toy as you thrust more shallowly into him, teasing his entrance and making him nearly whimper as you almost pull out. "Tell me what you need." Leaning on his chest you can feel the thrum of his heart beating, so strong and fast under your hand that he almost seems alive. "Whatever you want, let me help you."

"You…" He takes a few frantic breaths, and you're not sure if he's hesitating or just doesn't want it anymore, but then he's pushing at you again, poking his heel into your back. In any other situation it would be hilarious that you've managed to mostly shut him up for once, but right now it seems almost cute. "Just…do that again." Before you can respond he grabs your wrist, pulling your hand up.

"This what you want?" As you trace the curve of his Adam's apple he nods and then swallows, and for a second you're tempted to hold it between your teeth like some sort of wild animal. Or possibly peel it and take a bite, you're not sure. You can't wrap your fingers around his neck properly so instead you simply cradle it in your hand, gently pressing down. Bracing yourself against one of his legs you do your best to replicate what you'd been doing before, every noise he makes vibrating against your palm. This time he doesn't leave it all to you though, quickly sliding a hand down to touch himself. Despite the lightness of his touch, every stroke pulls a desperate little noise from his throat as he's trapped between the thrusting of the toy and his own hand.

"Is that good, sweetheart?" He can't really talk and barely even nod as you push down on his neck, but the noise he makes certainly sounds like it is. Ignoring the burning in your thighs you try to keep the pace steady, watching the almost pained expression on his face and the way his jaw goes slack as he chases it. You can tell that he's getting close, his breath coming in unsteady bursts, catching and faltering as the pleasure ratchets higher until he's pressed right up against the edge, leaky and throbbing. "You're so pretty like this, just let go for me, I promise it'll be so, so good…"

When he comes it's with a sound that's nothing short of obscene. It has your cunt twitching in sympathy as his release spills from him in thick spurts, making you moan right along with him. It's messy, painting his stomach and spattering up his chest, some of it hitting your forearm. You do your best to fuck him through it, not stopping until he's spent, letting go of his flagging cock and collapsing bonelessly into the rumpled sheets with a contented little whimper, shivering from the aftershocks. For a minute you just watch him come down, giving him a moment before the less fun part.

"Need you to relax for a bit," you press a kiss to one wobbly leg before easing them down, watching the uneven rise and fall of his chest. He only hums in response so you do your best to be gentle but the blissed out expression on his face barely flickers as you withdraw, quickly pulling the harness off and discarding it over the side of the bed. Turning back you can't quite keep a giggle from escaping, because with the way he's spreading out, you'd almost think that it's his bed and not yours. "Is there room for two?" As you stroke down his side he flops onto his side, letting you move the pillows away. At first you simply stretch out next to him but after a moment's hesitation you turn over, wrapping an arm around his waist. "You alright?"

"You didn't have to do that." That's not really what you asked, but you don't have the energy to argue. But then, it doesn't really sound like he does, either.

"I wanted to." You drop a quick kiss to his shoulder, tightening your grip around his waist. "Did you come good and hard for me, sweetheart?"

"What do you think?" He sounds exhausted and completely fucked out, the words going fuzzy around the edges with it, making almost you glow with pride.

"I don't know," you drag your fingers through the mess on his stomach, "I think I might do better next time."

"What makes you think there's going to be a next time?"

"Funny, that doesn't sound like a 'no' to me." You nuzzle the back of his neck, the damp curls tickling your nose as you pull his scent deep into your lungs, "Care to give that another try?"

"…No."

#blaine debeers #izombie #blaine debeers x reader #x reader #my shitty shitty writing (affectionate)

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 1 year ago

Text

I Hope That You Burn

Pairing: Platonic Spencer Reid & Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: uh just cheating really

Genre: kinda fluff, mostly angst

Summary: What happens when you learn your husband has broken your vows

This story was requested by @lucreziaq2001

A/N: I didn't get a chance to properly edit this one be kind <3

***

Working for the BAU has been such a whirlwind to say the least. You joined the team pretty recently and it took you a little bit to get the hang of things but you'd say at this point you're definitely starting to find your place among the team.

"We're totally gonna miss you in the field on this one." Spencer says. You'd definitely consider yourself closest to him, always whispering to each other, chatting late into the night- he's like your best friend. It's nice to have someone close to out here as you aren't from the DMV tristate and only moved here because of your husband becoming a senator.

"Aw I know Spence but with Adam out of town at that summit for a month I'm just not comfortable leaving Bella with a nanny indefinitely like that." You tell him.

"I mean I totally wouldn't have minded watching Bella she's adorable." Penelope chooses that moment to walk passed the two of you. She ranks second closest you think. She reminds you of your friends from college, colorful and bold and unapologetically herself.

"It's not your job to watch my kid Pen, plus she'll only be this small for so long and with this job we're away a lot so I wanna take advantage of this and spend time with her." You shrug.

"That's so cute." Penelope says.

"You're a great mom. This case won't be the same without you though." Spencer says.

"Spencer I'm still on the case. I'll just be running point from home base this time. Like Garcia. You guys can and probably will call me as necessary." You say.

"What're we talking about over here?" Derek joins the small group at your desk. You and Derek get along great, although that's because he and Spencer are like brothers. You find yourself in the middle of their spats like this all the time.

"Just Bella and the fact that I'm staying back to take care of her." You tell him.

"Ah yes- the joys of motherhood you say. Can't believe you're staying behind." He shakes his head.

"If someone is ever gracious enough to deign you worthy of fathering their children, by some miracle, I'm sure you'll understand." You hum.

"Ouch! Need some ice for that Morgan?" Spencer hisses dramatically.

"You'll need ice in a minute Reid." Derek steps forward as if to threaten him, albeit playfully, but Spencer runs behind your chair, turning you to block Derek from getting to him.

"Hey! Just because I'm not going doesn't mean I'm not watching Morgan. You behave, both of you. Don't y'all stress Hotch out because I'm home." You warn.

"Hiding behind Mommy are you, Spence?" Derek taunts.

"I am not hiding!" Spencer huffs.

"Mommy?" You scoff.

"Reid, Morgan, wheels up." Hotch comes out of his office and the boys head off to grab their things. "You're sure about staying y/n?" Hotch asks you.

"Absolutely. I can't leave Bella. If it were Jack would you leave him with a nanny you didn't have time to properly vet, especially given the job we do? Not even factoring my husband's job into things."

"Could never." He says.

"There ya go." You say.

"Alright, well keep your phone on. We might need you."

"Of course. Consider me a hotline." You wink.

"Good." Aaron nods and turns away.

"I'm being hyperbolic! Don't like- call me at 3am or something with case updates!" You call after him.

"That's more Reid's thing don't ya think?" He spins to ask you.

"True. Safe flight! Someone let me know when you land!" You wave him off as you're sure the rest of the team is waiting for him at this point. You turn your attention back to the paperwork you were doing before. Penelope is still at your desk though and after a few moments of waiting for her to say something you chuckle to yourself.

"Did you want to talk about something Pen?" You ask her, eyes still glued to the document in front of you.

"What's it like to basically be Wonder Woman?" She asks.

"What?" You blink at her.

"You've been here a few months and you're already amazing, everyone loves you, you have the perfect daughter and a husband who couldn't be more obsessed with you I mean I would kill to have a life like yours."

"Well- my daughter is 2 that's not- never mind. I'm- flattered you feel that way Pen really but I'm not doing much of anything different. I work hard just like the rest of you. Trust me balancing a full-time job and raising a toddler is no easy feat plus being married to a politician is certainly not a walk in the park." You scoff.

"You make it all seem so simple."

"Well if I came in here screaming every morning one of them would surely have me committed and we can't have that." You wink at her.

"True. But I mean you're like always killing it."

"I try my best Pen, thank you. I worry sometimes- with Bella, ya know." You shrug.

"Why? You're a great mom." She shrugs.

"I like to hope so but the thing with kids is- well it's kinda like coding a neverending program that you aren't the only person adding code to and you have no idea what each new line of code will actually do regardless of your intentions." You tell her.

"Woah- I see. Well from over here I'd say you're a coding wiz." She winks.

"Thanks Garcia. I wanna finish this up before the team lands in case they need me so-"

"No problem, I have some things Hotch definitely expects me to do that I forgot about til the last minute anyway." She smiles. You chuckle and tell her bye and then she's gone, leaving you to your paperwork. Your least favorite part of the job. By the time the team lands somewhere on the west coast, it's about time for you to leave the office but Spencer is sure to let you know they've made it safely and promises to update you in the morning unless something urgent happens in the next 4 hours. You pick your daughter up from daycare and head home to wind down for the day.

"Alright Bella baby, let's get you fed and then bathed." You hum pulling her out of her car seat.

"Din din?" She blinks at you from in your arms as you shift to unlock the door.

"That's right my love din din. It's time for dinner." You kiss her head. You set Bella up in her high chair with some coloring pages to keep her busy while you get dinner going. Tonight you've got fish on the menu with steamed broccoli and some grapes you cut in half. It takes about 20 minutes but soon she's got food in front of her that she's getting down without much issue. Bella isn't the pickiest eater luckily and you've learned what flavors she does best with right now, of course that could change but that's something you'll test years down the line. For now, whatever keeps her fed is what you'll give her. When she's finished you bathe her and read her a bedtime story before tucking her in for the night. A couple hours after, you've showered and eaten and are climbing into bed yourself when your phone rings. You check the ID and pick it up.

"Hey Spence, how's it going over there?" You ask. He lets out a frustrated breath that makes you chuckle a little. "So not great?"

"I'm frustrated because these cops are incompetent but-"

"We always have to make sure we maintain a friendly relationship with local police." You finish the thought for him.

"Which is incredibly difficult when the Backyardigans would be more helpful than these guys."

"I think you're spending too much time with Bella. The Backyardigans?" You laugh knowing full well he only knows about the show because your two-year-old loves it.

"To be fair it's a good kids show." He says.

"I know that Spence but to say a group of animal children are more helpful than the local law enforcement is hilarious."

"You're only laughing because you don't have to deal with them. I am in no way exaggerating y/n."

"Oh I know. You don't really do that." You smile.

"Anyway, on more pleasant subjects, how is Bella? Easy night?" Spencer asks.

"Pretty easy yeah. Adam called to say goodnight to her."

"Did he? That's good. I know how much she hates when one of you has to be away." He hums hoping you can't tell over the phone how his mood soured slightly at the mention of your husband. As far as Spencer could tell Adam was a fine husband, on the rare occasion he was around and came to visit you at work he was always singing your praises. His only problem with Adam, which he would never admit, is that he's your husband because knowing you're married didn't stop Spencer from developing a crush on you. One he works very hard to hide from you and the rest of the team. He cares too much about you as a friend and as a colleague to ever risk that.

"Yeah, he missed the last couple of nights so it's lucky he called this time or I think Bells might've held it against him til the end of his trip in two weeks." You chuckle.

"Sounds like her." Spencer laughs along with you.

"Anything else happen so far? Anything I should know?"

"Nothing that can't wait until morning. Hotch will call you. I'm sick of talking about work." Spencer says.

"Okay well, we'll talk about something else then." You tell him with a giggle. You stay on the phone for another hour or two before Spencer lets you go for the night.

It takes the team over a week to return from that case. It was a rough one, even with you and Penelope helping as much as possible from the office but eventually, you solve it and the others make their way back home. By the time they land, it's already pretty late and you've left to get Bella so you'll simply see everybody in the morning.

Night routines are done and dusted rather efficiently and you find yourself in Adam's home office after Bella's in bed. Well technically it's just the home office and not Adam's but he uses it way more than you do, you only really come in here to print things. Still, you keep a lot of extra supplies in here, and right now you're looking for an eraser because you can't find one big enough to erase the scribbles Bella has done in one of her books. You sift through the drawers on the desk and pause with a frown when you realize one is locked. Why would your husband lock a drawer of this desk? I mean- you're in the FBI you have higher security clearance than he would as a senator, what could he possibly need to lock up? You don't like invading his privacy but there's a terrible nagging feeling that tells you to open the drawer so- with a bit of careful picking you manage to get the lock open and find the drawer full of- letters. Letters between your husband and his secretary. Handwritten letters. You pull out the top few and scan the words on those pages, your heartbeat thundering louder with each line, each paragraph, each page. You read each letter with excruciating care, it takes you hours to get through them all, and by the time you're done, the sun has already started to light the night sky. You put all but 3 of the letters back into the desk and close the drawer but don't bother to lock it before forcing yourself up on your feet. You should kill him. Adam. You should hop on the next flight to that stupid summit and kill him in his hotel room. The hotel room he's probably sharing with his desperate secretary. You know the fault is his though you see red remembering all the times that woman smiled in your face while screwing your husband who knows how often. She probably thinks you're a fool, that you're so easy to trick and lie to. You slam the door to that office so hard thinking about it that the door rattles on its hinges. You're too angry to sleep- you need to decide how to make him pay for this. Stewing in your thirst for revenge, you hardly realize how much time has passed you until Bella comes toddling into your room.

"Mama." She waddles over to you and you struggle to flip the switch but you do it. You have to. Your baby. You have to do what's best for her. You always have to do what's best for her. Maybe nailing your husband to a cross is too reckless.

"Good morning my darling girl!" You coo happily picking Bella up.

"Mornin!" She beams back at you.

"Ready to get started with your day huh? Let's get you dressed for daycare!" You say kissing her cheek. You get her ready for the day, then yourself, feed her breakfast and drop her off at daycare all keeping it much more together than you feel. It's almost more frustrating to know you can't in good conscience take him down as he deserves because your daughter doesn't deserve that kind of exposure by association and when you leave him, you want it to be simple for her, or as simple as you can make it. You have a week to figure out your game plan before Adam returns and you plan to make the absolute most of that time. By the time you're walking into the office, you've already looked up several reputable divorce lawyers and plan to call them each during your lunch.

"Good mor- y/n, what's wrong?" Spencer frowns when he intercepts you before you reach your desk.

"I- I really don't wanna talk about it Spence." You say shakily. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes and if you start crying now you don't think you'll be able to stop all day. Spencer seems to recognize the unshed tears too, if the shocked look on his face tells you anything. He wraps his arms around you tightly.

"If you decide you wanna talk about it, please come find me." He whispers before he lets go of you. You nod and make your way to your desk. Spencer spends the whole day watching you work. I mean he does his work too, or tries to, but he's so worried about you he can hardly focus. Before the end of the day, you've called all the lawyers you found and scheduled a meeting with one. You'll be seeing her tomorrow. When you're packing up for the day and preparing to head home Spencer walks over to you. "I know you didn't want to talk about it this morning, but since the work day is over I thought maybe you could tell me what's going on with you now?"

"Adam's cheating on me." You say flatly as you enter the elevator with Spencer.

"Wait what?"

"Has been for months. With his secretary. I found out last night."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I spent all night reading their correspondences." You mutter.

"Y/n I am so sorry." Spencer breathes out.

"It's fine. I'm meeting with a divorce attorney tomorrow."

"So soon?"

"I have to be ready when he returns. On Sunday. I want all my ducks in a row so I'm not there when he gets back." You say.

"Where are you going to go?" Spencer asks.

"I don't know yet. But it won't be that house."

"You and Bells can stay at mine if you need." He offers.

"Thank you. I'll let you know if I'm gonna take you up on the offer. Right now I'm focusing on getting divorce papers drawn up." You mutter exiting the elevator as soon as the door opens.

"Y/n hang on-" Spencer grabs your arm gently.

"I have to pick up Bella." You say.

"You have to process this."

"NO. Not right now. Right now I have to protect my baby. Bella needs me and she needs me whole."

"Y/n you're not just Bella's mom. You're a woman whose trust has been betrayed and you're allowed to feel that."

"Spencer I am all that she has here. I can't fall apart there's no one- we don't have- if I fall apart there's no one looking out for her."

"Don't do that. The whole team is here for you both. I am here for you both. If you feel yourself falling apart find us, find me. I'll put you back together again." He tells you.

"Thank you, Spence. I have to get Bella." You make your way to your car and pick up your daughter. Six days. You have six days to get everything in order because god forbid you have to be here when he returns from his summit. It's practically robotic as you make dinner, feed Bella, and get her ready for bed. You don't even realize you're climbing into bed until you're shutting the lamp off beside you. The day was not easy but you made it through, and you'll continue to do so until you sort through as much as you can before Sunday.

You spend the entire week meeting, exchanging emails, and talking on the phone with your divorce attorney, and by Saturday papers are completely drawn up. You take Sunday to pack up as much of your and Bella's things as you can because you decided earlier in the week you would take Spencer up on his offer, at least until you found a new place for you and Bella or Adam moved out to find his own place, that choice would be his. If he wanted the house you were not attached.

"Alright Bella my love, we're going to have a sleepover at Spencer's house for a little while, sound fun?" You say to Bella as you give her a bath after dinner.

"Spency?" She smiles.

"That's right baby. Spency." You smile back. Once she's in her pajamas, you get her in the car and make the 20-minute drive to Spencer's place with your mind mostly on the clock.

"Hey. You made it." Spencer says when he opens the door.

"Yeah, I wanted to get Bella ready for bed so she could crash. I still have a few things to take care of before Adam returns but I didn't want her too off schedule." You explain.

"Do those things have to be done tonight?"

"Adam's taken a redeye flight, he always does. He'll be back before morning yes it has to be done tonight." You say.

"Alright, do you want me to put Bells to bed so you can get whatever it is done quickly?" He asks.

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I've done it before."

"Thank you Spence. I'll be back in like- an hour." You pass Bella, half asleep into Spencer's arms and give her a kiss before returning right back to your house. You have one last thing to do before you can consider this phase of your plans complete. You pull open that drawer in the office where you left those letters and toss them into the office bin. You strike a match and take a deep breath before tossing it into the collection of papers.

You saved three. Those you need for divorce things but when the time comes you'll burn them too. The rest you watch be engulfed in the fire now. Not to save him, no, you hope he will receive every wicked thing he deserves, but to save Bella. You've seen this before. Politicians in scandals are never isolated. It affects everyone around them and you won't have that happen to your dear Bella. She should not be any more harmed by her father's sins than absolutely necessary.

***

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #requests

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