#but i may screenshot them and respond to them here later this weekend when i have more time
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It's always when I decide to take a break from posting comic updates so that I can slow down and breathe when inspiration hits and suddenly the next three pages are scripted and planned
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#it's like my brain sees that the deadline for the next page is much further in the distance and suddenly it has the energy to create again#anyway chapter 3 will be wrapping up in the next 10 or so pages i think#oh god i need to start thinking about the next interlude page with Mari's Unova pokemon ahaha#chapters 4/5/6 at least have pretty solid outlines#not art#also i got some great anons on the comic blog thank you♡♡♡#i try to keep that feed comic updates only for the most part#but i may screenshot them and respond to them here later this weekend when i have more time
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(Until life picks up speed again, this is null. I’ll update it later.)
How to say goodbye ‘see you around’ and mean it…
The time has come.
First thing’s first: this isn’t goodbye—just a heads up.
Due to changes I’m making in my personal life, I’m easing away from the Transformers fandom for a partial hiatus. My ambition makes me restless, and it’s about time I put some of my plans into action.
Yes, a Chinese person becoming a doctor. How original.
Maybe I’ll turn out like Ratchet. Maybe I’ll suffer long enough to become Pharma.
Only time will tell…
In any case, I don’t plan on totally disappearing from the fandom any time soon. For the foreseeable future, you’ll see me around primarily on weekends, Wednesdays, and holidays—collecting posts for the queue, answering old asks, announcing completed WIPs, and making a post every once in a while.
What to expect:
The queue will publish a few times a day, and most original posts and extra reblogs will be scheduled.
I have 300+ post ideas saved in my notes and screenshots. My goal is to slowly release these into the wild.
I’ll try to keep writing meta, but when and how will depend entirely on how much free time I have, and what little energy I have to spare.
If I ever have extra time, I might open my ask box and play an ask game or two. Maybe…
Asks, tags, and other things:
If you sent an ask in the past, I probably have it saved either in my inbox or my drafts. Yes—even the asks that are almost a year old. I have not forgotten, and I still intend to answer, even if the sender doesn’t remember.
My inbox is closed for now, but I’ve set up a fancy little Google form as a replacement: Nova’s Commlink
If at any time, you tagged me in something interesting, I saved it in my drafts. If I’ve deemed it worthy of a response, you will see it eventually.
Feel free to keep tagging me in things. I’ll give posts a ‘like’ to confirm I saw them, and if I really like a post, I’ll queue it for later or drop it in my drafts if I want to give a longer response.
If you tag me and I don’t confirm receipt within a few days, drop me a note in the Google form.
If I said I would do something else for you, I haven’t forgotten. It’s on my list, and I will get back to you about it when I’m able.
WIPs:
Fics for my Constellations of Cybertron AU are on hold. I’ll still plot and plan, but it will be a long time before I publish any of those longer stories.
I will continue working on my shorter WIPs: short fics, zine pieces, etc.
How to reach me:
Anyone (mutual or otherwise) who has my Discord should message me over there. This extends to those I’m in servers with.
Mutuals who don’t have my Discord and anyone I follow here can still DM me through Tumblr.
Everyone else can contact me using the Google form.
Don’t be afraid of bothering me. It may take me a while to respond, but I welcome it.
Last updated: 5/14/24 - section(s) updated: intro, What to expect, and WIPs
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They are both so funny! Someone somewhere on tumblr described (jokingly) their relationship as being ‘Annoyed to lovers’. I love that take, I find it hilarious. I mean just look at Jeong Tae-eul’s face in the first screenshot when she’s just found the talisman. It just screams: “Are you actually serious?” and Lee Gon must know how strange he is coming across and just decides to... roll with it. I adore their dynamic. How Jeong Tae-eul is so straight-forward and Lee Gon so outrageously earnest. Tae-eul quickly becoming quite bothered by him during their interactions early on (wonder why? *cough* *cough*) and Lee Gon being so happy to have finally met her that he just decides to answer basically everything and anything she asks honestly and openly (the exception being his name) even though it makes him sound completely insane is all compelling stuff. In this scene Tae-eul outright teases him a lot. First about the talisman and then about the “monopoly” money. We see her get quite serious however when she asks him about why he told her "I finally get to meet you". She clearly felt his sincerity in that moment and wants to get to the bottom of what the hell is going on. To say that’s she’s taken aback is putting it mildly. She is quite frustrated by this whole situation and about this man in front of her who is seemingly spouting out nonsense, but who is simultaneously seeming to be incredibly earnest. You see her struggle with this paradox in their scene at the chicken place and while they’re in the bamboo forest as well.
I would argue she feels something between them early on. There’s definitely some outright attraction. After he catches her off-guard with his compliment (”You look better in real life too”) the camera emulates her point of view and lingers on him as she is looking at him (he is hilariously framed in a very attractive manner in that scene). Then Tae-eul undercuts the moment as she tells him he looks like a criminal, however not before taking him aback by asking him why he is staring at her in a certain way (the implication being romantically). Lee Gon is even flustered for a moment in that scene (which is equally as hilarious as it is adorable). Tae-eul undercuts the moment deliberately, I would argue, to re-assert herself after having been flustered (I love her). A person on twitter has written some really great ‘meta-threads’ where they spell out some of the cultural subtext which cannot be fully translated through subtitles. An example is the “Will you continue talking down to me?” exchange. They bicker about how they are addressing each other (which has to do with who’s older and Korean speech levels). This adds to the emotional and somewhat flirtatious subtext of their interaction, an aspect slightly lost on international viewers. I have attached a link to the thread below. Tae-eul later teases Gon about how she might be older than him in episode nine, which can be argued is a fun continuation of their bickering here. I do think that some of the subtext in scenes like these might have been lost on the international audience (of which I’m part) at times due to the need to read subtitles + not having access to the characters’ tone through their use of language. Saying that however I don’t think that dramas should simplify their scripts to cater to international viewers (that would honestly be awful), but it can be worth keeping in mind when watching as an international viewer. Tae-eul is flustered by his compliment here, and then again when he compliments her at the hotel, but being the somewhat “tsundere”-like character she is she quickly hides it by basically insulting him instead. We see later that this slightly thorny aspect of Tae-eul is part of her personality, which at first glance may obfuscate her very passionate and kind character (her taking on KSJ’s bullies and telling him, somewhat rudely, to come back to the dojo springs to mind - I really like her).
So two quite quick-witted and unapologetically straight-forward people meet and it all unsurprisingly ends up with them bickering a lot. One of the thing I like the best about their bickering is that it is really equal, neither of them simply “takes it”, so to speak, instead they respond in kind. This creates an air of honest reciprocity between them. Later in the episode stuff gets more serious. Tae-eul gets more and more genuinely annoyed by all the impossible things Gon keeps claiming. After he asks her if there might be a reason for her helping him, she doesn't respond. But she thinks back to that moment later. His lack of a name and the fact that his claims are genuinely insane becomes a bigger issue for her the more they get to know each other (i.e. the more they connect). Her frustration is quite understandable. Her well-honed instincts are basically at war with her rational mind and world-view (and she has started to like him, which makes it all personal). There’s not much Lee Gon can do however. We feel his frustration easily since we know that he’s telling the truth. It all results in their fairly cold goodbye in episode three. Then of course she misses him, and really starts to believe him. Resulting in their quite emotional reunion in episode four. It is so great that in episode five she continues to tease him after she arrives in the Kingdom and finally seeing that everything he has claimed is true. Why? Because it furthers their relationship instead of resetting it. It is also an indication that Tae-eul’s slightly ‘thorny’ attitude is part of her personality and not simply a consequence of her being annoyed with him. She starts to realize just how much she likes him in episode five and six but she also freaks out a little, because she's more emotionally guarded. Which is why after she first opens up, expressing admiration for him and apologizing for leaving him alone, she then states that she cannot compete with a person from his world (expressing some insecurity. I’ll write more about that scene later). Lady Noh’s warning words are fresh in her mind. Back in the Republic however, after missing him and being worried she finally decides to embrace her love for him when he returns.
Let’s talk about the first mention of the Royal Ancestral Shrine. Lady Noh is referred to here as Tae-eul finds the talisman planted in Lee Gon’s wallet. A talisman which states it purpose as finding love for the recipient. This because Lady Noh is, as she stated in episode one, adamant of finding Lee Gon a Queen so that he can fulfill his duty as King (which entails providing the Kingdom with an heir). This talisman and this mention of the Royal Ancestral Shrine foreshadows this aspect of the plot and is brought up again later in episode 16. Where Lady Noh brings it up, hinting that Lee Gon and Jeong Tae-eul might marry in a year (‘completing’ the Royal Ancestral Shrine as she put it). A very nice person on soompi explained this for me. She also makes Lee Gon bring a talisman with him as he goes off to have a weekend with Tae-eul. Later on they find themselves back in the Kingdom, almost like the talisman (which Lee Gon accepted this time around which indicates his change of heart from episode one) have deliberately brought them back to the Kingdom to lightly push them to move forward in their relationship. One can definitely argue that it’s technically FateKid’s doing. A very good meta which has written about this in particular is linked below, this blog has a lot of really great posts about TKEM. I would highly recommend it.
Lee Gon’s amused expression in the last screenshot is such a funny beat, especially in addition to Jeong Tae-eul’s disbelieving expression after she’s found the talisman and her subsequent “Good Luck”. I do so love the comedy in this show. It works so well with the quite grounded characters Lee Gon and Jeong Tae-eul are.
Link one (spells out some subtext easily lost on international viewers): https://twitter.com/jungpilot/status/1304404562896277505?s=21
Link two (talks about FateKid and LG’s and JTE’s future and more): https://bitchesoverdramas.com/2020/06/16/the-king-ep-16-the-happy-ending/
#the king eternal monarch#the king: eternal monarch#lee gon#jeong tae eul#I really appreciate how LMH and KGE are so great at comedy in scenes like these#it would be easy to go too far which neither of them do thankfully#tkem meta
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FIC: Casual Sort of Love (Part 2 of 2)
Pairing: Kylex (Kyle/Alex)
Summary: “We don’t need complicated reasons for having sex. Sometimes wanting to get laid is good enough.” (And then they caught feelings.)
Rating: Teen and up (This fic is about sex but there’s nothing graphic)
RNM Week Prompt: Day 7 - free day (Part 1 was Day 3: Quick and DIrty)
Part 2
(Part 1 is here)
"What's with the two of you?" Rosa asks, her elbow knocking against Alex's.
He lifts his eyebrows and gives her a questioning look. He is the only person aside from her sitting at the table but it seems all the people he knows are out at Crashdown tonight, so it's not clear whom she's referring to.
She gestures towards the bar with her chin. "Valenti's been giving you mournful stares the whole evening."
"Isn't he your brother?" Maybe it's the fact that Alex has multiple brothers, or that he grew up with them, but even as strained as their relationship is, he can't imagine calling any of them by their last name. Or perhaps it's because the name Manes belongs to him, too. As much as it burdens him.
"In blood maybe," Rosa replies with a shrug. She nudges the straw in her drink towards her mouth. "So what's with the two of you?"
Alex glances towards Kyle, who is very obviously trying to not get caught staring. "It's complicated," he tells Rosa.
"What did he do?"
Alex's mind flashes to Kyle's mouth on his skin, his fingers lazily drawing on Alex's body, and then to Alex walking away from him. "He didn't."
He misses Kyle. The thing is, nothing went back to normal afterwards. Their friendship has shifted. The space between them, once filled with easy compassion, is now a cold chasm filled with yearning. He finds it easier to stay out of Kyle's orbit, even though it hurts.
ooo ooo ooo
Kyle corners him by his car three weeks later. He is leaning against the driver's side door, arms crossed on his chest.
"I just want to know… Are we avoiding each other or has your absence in my life been a mere coincidence?" he asks.
"I'm not avoiding you."
Kyle clicks his tongue. He tilts his head and gives Alex a pointed look. "Is that why we've barely spoken three sentences in weeks? You said you wanted to be friends."
Alex doesn't know how to respond so he simply holds Kyle's gaze stubbornly.
Kyle sighs and sinks against the car. He takes out his phone. "I've got some leads on a possible alien," he says and offers Alex the device to look at the screenshots he's taken. "If you are interested."
The pictures and screenshots suggest an elderly woman living some six hundred miles away might be an alien. Possibly from the 1947 crash, even. It does pique Alex's interest.
"I'm free this weekend," Kyle says.
ooo ooo ooo
The drive is long and quiet. Alex is aware of Kyle's every breath, especially those that are the beginning of a word that never leaves his lips. He is aware of Kyle's hands that never reach for him. It's a strange, heart-shattering thing to miss someone so much while they are mere inches away. He is aware that when they make idle conversation to break the silence, they're not really talking – just saying words, none of substance.
Alex has only been in love once before but he recognizes the ache in his ribcage now. It might not be the same overpowering feeling, but it's the beginning of it, the heartbreak.
The exact thing he's been hoping to avoid.
ooo ooo ooo
There is a giant For Sale sign in front of the house. Alex and Kyle look at each other and shrug before walking to the front door and knocking.
There is only silence in response. But then the front door of a house next front yard over opens and a young blonde woman pokes her head out. She is holding a baby in her arms.
Over the next few moments, they learn the devastating truth. "Samantha Smith died last month," the woman explains. "Of old age, but it was still a shock. We thought she'd outlive us all yet." She pauses, rocking the baby. "She was my Grandmother. Are you here about the house?"
For the next half an hour, Alex sits stiff and uncomfortable in Alice Smith's living room while Kyle charms her. By the time they finish their coffee, Alice is ready to leave her spouse for Doctor Valenti, Alex thinks bitterly.
If only she knew why they are really there. Maybe she'd watch her children more closely. Alex is certain he sees the toddler girl levitate the toys in her playpen. The Smithes are lucky it's Alex and Kyle who found them instead of Alex's father and brothers.
"We're not here about the house, not really," Kyle says after a few minutes of chit-chat but by then Alice is so charmed by him she startles only a little. "We are working on a surprise genealogy project for a friend. We think your Grandmother – and you, I'd assume – are distantly related to him."
It's a gray zone where Alex himself isn't sure how much is a lie. He suspects, however, that Kyle is thinking of Michael when he says this. It both hurts and makes a perfect sense.
"Oh, I don't know," Alice says uncertainly, suddenly lifting her baby son up to her shoulder protectively. "Grandma Sam was an orphan."
"So is our friend," Alex says and all three of them startled at the sound of his voice.
Kyle puts his hand on Alex's shoulder and instinctively, Alex leans into his touch. It's comforting, and it tells him Kyle gets him, and it’s grounding and he is starved for it; suddenly he wants to wrap himself in Kyle's warm arms and clean scent.
Kyle removes his hand much too soon.
He leans towards Alice and takes out his wallet, from which he takes out a business card. Because of course Kyle has business cards. Alex can't imagine what a resident needs them for but at least in this moment one seems to come useful. "If you change your mind about the genealogy project… Or if anyone military-looking contacts you…"
Alice's eyes shift to Alex.
"I'm retired," he says and wonders how long before people don't see the years of service when looking at him.
ooo ooo ooo
When they return to the car, Alex realizes he is missing his keys.
Alice is standing on the porch with the car keys in her hand, looking guilty. "I'm sorry. My daughter…" She trails off, looking over Alex's shoulder towards Kyle leaning against the car. "He seems like a great guy. Reminds me of my grandfather… Though maybe that's the way he looks at you. Grandpa looked at Grandma like that, like she was his favorite view and a world wonder and the missing puzzle piece all at once. Grandma was a dreamer, she was so aloof, we weren't sure she actually loved him back the same. But then he died… It was such a shock, him dying before her… She was never the same, after." Alice chuckles awkwardly. "Sorry, I talk too much."
Alex takes the keys from her. "We're not… It's not like that."
Her mouth form a surprised 'O' but then she says: "Well then, my wife won't be very happy about me having his number in that case." She frowns. "This… this genealogy project… I'll think about it." Then with a furtive glance around her, she asks in a whisper: "Are we in danger?"
"Not immediate," Alex says and he hopes he is not lying to her.
He walks to the car wondering how to ask Kyle why he looks at him as if he was his enigma of a wife.
ooo ooo ooo
They have separate motel rooms that night.
Alex misses Kyle's warmth in his bed. And the way Kyle looks at him when they break away from a kiss. How Kyle's breath feels against his skin. And how Kyle calls him out when he's being unreasonable and how he listens when Alex has a good point.
He reaches out to check the time at 2AM and ends up opening the messages between him and Kyle. That's another thing he misses; Kyle's ridiculous yet sexy selfies and random alerts about Alex's favorite products. To his surprise, ellipsis at the bottom of the screen suggests Kyle is typing. They appear and disappear intermittently. A message rewritten and deleted. It never arrives.
At 3AM, Kyle opens the door for him in a t-shirt and underwear but obviously awake. He makes as if to grab Alex's t-shirt. Then he barely brushes his fingers against the fabric. Instead, he simply steps aside to let Alex in.
"Come in," he says. "Unless you're here to hook up and change your mind in thirty minutes."
Alex winces. Yet he can't fault Kyle for his words. He's earned that attitude.
"I don't think casual can work for us," Alex blurts out. The door closes behind him. "Because there's never anything casual I feel about you. Ever. You're a huge, important part of my life." He knows it to be true. Whatever he's ever felt for Kyle, positive or negative, it has always been a lot of feeling. Even at times when he was trying to ignore it. It was foolish to think that he could do anything meaningless with him. "When we were kids, when you were a nightmare, and now that we became a weird buddy cop comedy… I can't be just your casual fuckbuddy."
Kyle shakes his head. He drops down onto the edge of his motel bed. "I was trying to ask you out when you called things off," he says.
Alex opens his mouth but for a moment, nothing comes out of it. He looks around the room. None of the cheap furniture suggests an answer. "I know," he says eventually. "At least, I think I may have known that."
Kyle drops his head into his hands and combs his fingers through his hair. "But?"
With a step towards Kyle, Alex admits: "But I'm scared to be with you."
He is rewarded with a confused, hurt look. "You're sending really mixed signals."
Alex hasn't been entirely sure what he wanted from this conversation, not until this moment of looking into Kyle's eyes. It's not just that he hates seeing Kyle hurt or knowing that he is the one causing him pain. It's that he wants so desperately to be the one who'll put a smile on Kyle's face again. He wants to share his happiness and his pain and important decisions.
"I'm scared," he repeats. "I'm scared because I don't know if I can love you the way you deserve, even though I think I'm getting there. I'm scared you'll realize I'm too much trouble. I'm scared my father will try to use you against me. I'm scared things won't work out and I'll lose you for good. I'm even scared of what people will say." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "But I'm so damn tired of being scared. And I want to be with you. I want all of you, from your impressive cheekbones to your superficial pop culture references." He can't help a hint of a smile at Kyle's offended look. "You're hot, and funny, and kind, and brilliant, a really good person and really good in bed. You listen to what I have to say. And you make me feel good about myself."
He wants to keep going, but Kyle pushes off the bed and gets up. The distance between them closes. Kyle's fingers grasp the fabric of Alex's shirt. "Are we exchanging compliments? Because that part I could get used to."
Alex chuckles. "Wasn't what I was aiming for. But maybe?"
Kyle smiles, a soft and amused smile, though there's still something sad in his eyes. "You're so sexy. And, despite just saying 'scared' like forty times, you're so brave. And you're smart and you're aware of your skills, which is super hot. I just can't get enough of you, really. You're so principled and so ready to do what's right, no matter what it costs you. And you see people for who they are and… You make me want to be the best version of me that I can possibly be." He slowly runs his palms up Alex's body to rest on his shoulders. "Neither of us is perfect or uncomplicated. I can't promise things will go smoothly or that we'll always agree with each other or that I'll ever watch Star Trek with you. I can almost guarantee we’ll fuck up repeatedly. But I think we have a chance at something so good here. If you let us try. If you stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong." His grip on Alex's shoulders tightens. "And if you won't, then at least keep me as your friend, please? I really miss you when you push me away."
Alex responds by putting his hands on Kyle's waist. He could be arguing about kettles being black, but it barely crosses his mind. "We'll need to take it slow. I don't know if I'm ready to go public with this or… or even make any declarations. But I’d like to see where this goes."
"Just don't… don't storm out without explanation again, alright?"
With his gaze shifting away from Kyle's piercing eyes, Alex says: "I'm not sure I can promise that. But I can promise to come back with the explanation later."
Kyle nods. "That's good enough for me." And then he dives in for a kiss.
ooo ooo ooo
Later, Kyle asks: "So what prompted you to change your mind?"
And Alex says: "Alice Smith's late Grandmother's husband."
Kyle stares at him for a long moment.
Then he says, "alright" and pulls Alex into a kiss again.
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Why Taylor Swift Has No Problem Defending Herself—No Matter the Cost
by BILLY NILLES Jul. 2, 2019
As Taylor Swift approaches her upcoming 30th birthday, happening on December 13 of this year, she's begun taking stock of the things she's learned over the course of her first three decades on the planet. In March, she let fans in on a handful of them—30 of them, to be exact—via a self-penned piece in Elle and near the very top, perhaps belying its importance to the superstar, is the following:
"Being sweet to everyone all the time can get you into a lot of trouble. While it may be born from having been raised to be a polite young lady, this can contribute to some of your life's worst regrets if someone takes advantage of this trait in you. Grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back. Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you."
As the last few years have proven, Swift has certainly grown unafraid to bite as a means of defending herself and the things she believes in. Not bad for someone whose so-called silence invited accusations of standing for nothing from critics.
Take this weekend's response to the news that celebrity music manager Scooter Braun, whose list of past and present clientele includes Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Kanye West and Demi Lovato, was the new owner of her entire music catalogue, thanks to his media holding company Ithaca Holdings LLC. reaching a "finalized" contract" with Big Machine Label Group, Swift's former record label, to acquire the company. The deal, made for a reported $300 million, includes Big Machine Music, which means that Braun retain ownership of the master recordings of each of the six albums she's released to date, as well as music from other artists such as Reba McEntire, Sheryl Crow and Lady Antebellum. And, as Swift admitted in an incendiary Tumblr post, it left her feeling "sad and grossed out."
After explaining that she'd hoped to own her work prior to departing Big Machine for Universal Music Group (Big Machine's distributor) in November of last year, only to be offered a deal to "'earn' one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in," as she wrote, she walked away from her past so that her future wouldn't be tied to a company that founder Scott Borchetta was clearly intent on selling to the highest bidder.
Jun Sato/TAS18/Getty Images
"Some fun facts about today's news: I learned about Scooter Braun's purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world," she wrote. "All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I've received at his hands for years."
As she explained in her post, she felt that Scooter's fingerprints were all over West and wife Kim Kardashian West's attempts to assassinate her character in the aftermath of the "Famous" lyrics debacle, which infamously find the rapper claiming that he "made that bitch famous," appearing in a screenshot of a FaceTime call between Bieber and West that the former shared with the since-deleted caption "Taylor swift what up" that she believes was intended to "bully [her] online about it" and allowing then-client West to release "a revenge porn music video which strips my body naked."
"Essentially, my musical legacy is about to lie in the hands of someone who tried to dismantle it. This is my worst case scenario. This is what happens when you sign a deal at 15 to someone for whom the term 'loyalty' is clearly just a contractual concept. And when that man says, 'Music has value,' he means its value is beholden to men who had no part in creating it," she continued. "When I left my masters in Scott's hands, I made peace with the fact that eventually he would sell them. Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine the buyer would be Scooter. Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words 'Scooter Braun' escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn't want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever."
Taylor's move to take the two men involved in the deal to task has, predictably, drawn a line in the sand in the music industry, with folks like Brendon Urie, Halsey, Iggy Azalea, BFF Todrick Hall and other BFF Selena Gomezs mom Mandy Teefey publicly supporting Swift, while Bieber, Lovato, and Scooter's wife Yael Cohen Braun, who accused Swift of bullying her husband by going public with her beef, thereby sending her fan base his way, coming out in support of him.
While the minutiae of the deal and who knew about what when remains unclear, with Borchetta and Cohen Braun both furnishing receipts of some sort in their rebuttals to Swift that challenge her timeline, what is clear is that Swift is speaking up not just to shine a light on an injustice she's experiencing, but also to prevent other impressionable artistic youth from falling prey to the same sort of contract she willingly signed back in her early teens.
"Thankfully, I left my past in Scott's hands and not my future," she wrote. "And hopefully, young artists or kids with musical dreams will read this and learn about how to better protect themselves in a negotiation. You deserve to own the art you make."
It's hardly the first time that Swift has vociferously defended herself while also trying to move the needle forward for those less fortunate than her, be they artists or women in general.
Back in 2013, Swift informed bosses at Denver's KYGO-FM that morning show personality David Mueller had sexually assaulted her, groping her at a meet-and-greet event as they posed for a photo alongside Mueller's then-girlfriend Shannon Melchor. "When we were posing for the photo, he stuck his hand up my dress and grabbed onto my ass cheek," she explained to TIME in 2017. "I squirmed and lurched sideways to get away from him, but he wouldn't let go. At the time, I was headlining a major arena tour and there were a number of people in the room that saw this plus a photo of it happening. I figured that if he would be brazen enough to assault me under these risky circumstances and high stakes, imagine what he might do to a vulnerable, young artist if given the chance. It was important to report the incident to his radio station because I felt like they needed to know. The radio station conducted its own investigation and fired him."
Two years after the radio host saw his employment status at the station go from "current" to "former," he filed suit against Swift, accusing her of lying and suing him for making him lose his job. He wanted $3 million in damages. As result, she brought a countersuit against Mueller for assault and battery, taking him to trial.
AP Photo/Jeff Kandyba
By 2017, she was on the stand, showing an unflappable, steely determination to defend herself in the face of a man who'd wronged her and a legal team intent on discrediting her. When asked why the photos of the incident didn't show the front of her skirt wrinkled as evidence of any wrongdoing, she answered plainly, "Because my ass is located at the back of my body." When she was asked if she felt guilty about Mueller losing his job, she responded, "I'm not going to let you or your client make me feel in any way that this is my fault. Here we are years later, and I'm being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are the product of his decisions—not mine."
In the end, the jury threw out Mueller's unfair dismissal case, ruling in Swift's favor, awarding the singer the symbolic $1 dollar she'd asked for. In a statement released after the verdict was rendered, she said, "I acknowledge the privilege that I benefit from in life, in society and in my ability to shoulder the enormous cost of defending myself in a trial like this. My hope is to help those whose voices should also be heard. Therefore, I will be making donations in the near future to multiple organizations that help sexual assault victims defend themselves."
A year later, Swift spoke to fans during a Tampa, Fla. stop on her Reputation Stadium Tour about the incident, thanking them for sticking by her during a "really, really horrible" time in her life. "I just think about all the people that weren't believed, or the people who haven't been believed, or the people who are afraid to speak up because they don't think they will be believed," Swift said. "And I just want to say that I'm sorry to everyone who ever wasn't believed because I don't know what turn my life would have taken if people hadn't believed in me when I said that something happened."
Over the years, Swift has also used her superstar muscle to advocate for what she believes she and all other artists deserve during this streaming revolution. In 2014, after penning an article for the Wall Street Journal in which she argued that "music should not be free" and that artists shouldn't "underestimate themselves or undervalue their art," she pulled her entire discography from Spotify.
"Music is changing so quickly, and the landscape of the music industry itself is changing so quickly, that everything new, like Spotify, all feels to me a bit like a grand experiment," Swift told Yahoo that November, defending her position. "And I'm not willing to contribute my life's work to an experiment that I don't feel fairly compensates the writers, producers, artists and creators of this music. And I just don't agree with perpetuating the perception that music has no value and should be free."
A year later, Swift spoke to fans during a Tampa, Fla. stop on her Reputation Stadium Tour about the incident, thanking them for sticking by her during a "really, really horrible" time in her life. "I just think about all the people that weren't believed, or the people who haven't been believed, or the people who are afraid to speak up because they don't think they will be believed," Swift said. "And I just want to say that I'm sorry to everyone who ever wasn't believed because I don't know what turn my life would have taken if people hadn't believed in me when I said that something happened."
Over the years, Swift has also used her superstar muscle to advocate for what she believes she and all other artists deserve during this streaming revolution. In 2014, after penning an article for the Wall Street Journal in which she argued that "music should not be free" and that artists shouldn't "underestimate themselves or undervalue their art," she pulled her entire discography from Spotify.
"Music is changing so quickly, and the landscape of the music industry itself is changing so quickly, that everything new, like Spotify, all feels to me a bit like a grand experiment," Swift told Yahoo that November, defending her position. "And I'm not willing to contribute my life's work to an experiment that I don't feel fairly compensates the writers, producers, artists and creators of this music. And I just don't agree with perpetuating the perception that music has no value and should be free."
Instagram
The following June, she penned an open letter to fans, explaining why they wouldn't be able to find her latest album, 1989, wouldn't be made available on Apple Music once the service launched. As she explained, her issue lay with Apple Music's decision not to pay artists during its free three-month trial for users to sign up. "I'm not sure you know that Apple Music will not be paying writers, producers, or artists for those three months. I find it to be shocking, disappointing, and completely unlike this historically progressive and generous company," she wrote, adding that she was speaking on behalf of fellow musicians who had some hesitation at speaking out against the tech company.
"These are not the complaints of a spoiled, petulant child. These are the echoed sentiments of every artist, writer and producer in my social circles who are afraid to speak up publicly because we admire and respect Apple so much. We simply do not respect this particular call," she added. "We don't ask you for free iPhones. Please don't ask us to provide you with our music for no compensation."
A day later, Apple announced that it would, indeed, be paying artists during the free trial period."When I woke up this morning and saw what Taylor had written, it really solidified that we needed a change," Apple's senior vice president of internet services and software Eddy Cue told Billboard in an interview after tweeting that the company was changing course. "And so that's why we decide we will now pay artists during the trial period."
By 2017, in time to celebrate 1989 selling over 10 million albums worldwide and, maybe, to tweak then-frenemy Katy Perry's launch of new album Witness, Swift's music was back on Spotify and added to Amazon Music and Google Play as well.
At every turn, Swift has revealed herself to be someone who has certainly found that backbone she wrote about in Elle. After West claimed he made her famous, he accepted Album of the Year at the 58th Grammy Awards with a speech that didn't mention the rapper by name, but spoke to him just the same. "As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I wanna say to all the young women out there: There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame," she said. "But if you just focus on the work and you don't let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you're going, you'll look around and you'll know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world."
When Kardashian West branded her a snake as she shared the questionably-recorded audio of a phone call between Swift and West as he was crafting "Famous," she took the animal iconography on as a central motif in her next album and tour, which became the highest-grossing domestic tour by a woman ever.
"A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet," Swift wrote in Elle. "The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I've ever felt in my life, but I can't tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans. It's the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll's hateful Instagram comment with 'lol.'"
When speaking with a German news outlet to promote new single "ME!" in May, she was asked if her 30th birthday meant she was going to settle down, get married and have kids soon. She shut that s--t down, saying, "I really do not think men are asked that question when they turn 30. So I'm not going to answer that."
As she's become more politically active, endorsing progressive candidates in her adopted home state of Tennessee, emphatically calling out President Trump, and advocating on behalf of the LGBTQIA community during this most recent Pride Month, after years of being criticized for sitting silently on the sidelines, she's opened herself up to criticism from those who wish their pop stars would shut up—unless they're spouting views identical to their own, of course. But it's no different to the criticism she faced when she was silent, or when she dared to demand fair compensation for her art, or when she simply wanted to be believed as a victim of sexual assault. All of which she's learned to look past.
"I learned to block some of the noise," she wrote in Elle. "Social media can be great, but it can also inundate your brain with images of what you aren't, how you're failing, or who is in a cooler locale than you at any given moment. One thing I do to lessen this weird insecurity laser beam is to turn off comments...I'm also blocking out anyone who might feel the need to tell me to 'go die in a hole ho' while I'm having my coffee at nine in the morning. I think it's healthy for your self-esteem to need less internet praise to appease it, especially when three comments down you could unwittingly see someone telling you that you look like a weasel that got hit by a truck and stitched back together by a drunk taxidermist. An actual comment I received once."
As for those in real life who are bringing her strife—like, say, Braun and Borchetta, currently—she's got a plan for dealing with that, as well.
"Banish the drama. You only have so much room in your life and so much energy to give to those in it," she wrote. "Be discerning. If someone in your life is hurting you, draining you, or causing you pain in a way that feels unresolvable, blocking their number isn't cruel. It's just a simple setting on your phone that will eliminate drama if you so choose to use it."
In other words, put quite simply, she's learned how to shake it off.
E! News
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Hey, guys. I never mentioned this until now, but on Twitter last weekend I declared myself not being a part of The Loud House fandom anymore.
To be honest with you, I knew all the time that the fandom isn’t healthy for me considering the state of my mental health. Many of my friends always wanted me to stay, but I just can’t because of recent events. You see, a week ago I saw some fan art that’s part of a shipping week between Lincoln and Jackie. As you all already know, Lincoln’s 11 and in elementary school (currently), and Jackie is in her teens and in high school. So I tweeted, wondering why they’re suddenly a thing. A short time later, one person told me to stop ship shaming. When I got home from work later, another one told me that the people who participating was just having fun and I should mind my own business. More people were staring to back up the people who responded to me and I then deleted my tweet before it got out of control.
I then made more tweets explaining myself (which I also deleted) that I was just asking why people are shipping Lincoln and Jackie together with that single sentence on my original tweet. I wasn’t even calling out the people involved and didn’t want to start discourse. One of the people who told me to mind my own business later responded to me saying that he kind of misunderstood my original tweet, but at the same time he told me that I started the whole thing. Maybe I did, maybe not, but does that mean you can insult someone for questioning stuff and being reasonable?
Although I did have some good times in the fandom, I also have history having discourse from those who are in the fandom and those who aren’t. I don’t have discourse on Tumblr for a long time now because The Loud House fandom here rapidly dwindled over the course of a year, mainly because of the site’s changes to policy regarding NSFW content. On the other hand, the fandom on Twitter continues to be very active. When I was just having thoughts relating to the series, from time to time it apparently irked some people there. I’ll give a few examples:
Last November, when I stated that “The Loudest Thanksgiving” was overhyped – which it really was – one person read my tweet and fired off about it on a tweet of her own, saying “Bitch, please.” Despite that, she liked my tweet. (If you may remember, I had actually spoken out about this.)
One day I re-watched the video version of an episode of Listen Out Loud. Until then, I haven’t realized that Luna sings the theme song after close listening. When I tweeted about it, somehow one person said me of course that’s her with a mean tone.
When promos from the most recent batch of episodes were released, one of the scenes includes Lily meeting a sea monster and that scene alone caught the most attention for me. I was amused by it, so I made a screenshot out of that and tweeted with the likes of, “Apparently, there’s a sea monster.” With that, I had an emoji of a person questioning, and I intended the whole tweet not be serious but fun. That didn’t stop one person to reply “So?” and then went on to say that monsters on the series are nothing new since Lisa created a garbage monster in an earlier episode. I told him to calm down and that my tweet was meant to be fun and I know about the garbage monster. He then said okay – but he never apologized.
And do you know what’s really messed about it? They are all my friends whom I know for a long time. While I do care about my friends and they are all nice people, I can’t figure out what came over them.
It goes to say that a lot of people take The Loud House and shipping way too seriously, as I have said months ago. I felt that in my view that a lot of people are too obsessed about the series over their own friends and how they feel relating to it at times, and hardly allow any room for any differing opinions they might have. Mind you, I run multiple fandom accounts for the Disney series The 7D and I always allow any kind of opinions from fans. I just had enough and I feel I have no other choice but not being in The Loud House fandom anymore. (I know I have said that I’m taking a less active role in the fandom a few times, but each time my heart wasn’t to it.) Besides, with more episodes on the way featuring ships, it would be “Stage Plight” and “Racing Hearts” all over again and I won’t be there around all the chaos – after all much of the fandom would never listen to reason anyway. :)
However, I won’t go away…I’ll still watch the series and continue to do fan art. I hope you all understand what I have to say and continue to support me through whatever difficult times I’m in.
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Precure Day 114
Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 16 - “Dreams, Hopes, and Kenta’s Worries!” Date watched: 20 April 2019 Original air date: 21 May 2006 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/9tLWpZb Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout
Kenta overhears Avengers: Endgame spoilers
I’m not sure if Splash Star is a bit more on-the-nose with its life lessons than FW/MH were, or if I’m just more acclimated than I was when watching those seasons, but this is another episode with a very clear moral theme, and also parallels to an episode of Max Heart... and a conclusion that almost (almost) undercuts the whole thing.
Kenta is in a bit of a slump, and after some pressing from Saki, he admits that he overheard his parents having a conversation that seems to be about how they want him to take over running the boat rental shop eventually. He takes this to mean that they don’t really believe in or care about his dream of being a professional comedian, and he’s not sure what to do next. Mai mentions that her brother’s dream is to become an astronaut, which her whole family found silly at first, but when they realized he was serious, they decided to support him fully. Kenta is unconvinced, so Saki suggests they all go to Mai’s place after school and talk to Kazuya directly. Meanwhile, the Kiryuu sisters are eerily standing behind a door, listening to all of this, confused about the concept of pursuing dreams.
creepers gonna creep
Kenta doesn’t see any value in this, convinced that his dream is over and his parents don’t care, but Saki drags him along to Mai’s house anyway.
that wasn’t hyperbole, she literally drags him
The talk with Kazuya is less inspiring than they might have hoped, as he admits that his dream may not come true, but he’s got to work for it or it will definitely never come true. Kenta is still not very convinced and goes home to ruminate on it.
The next day at school, he’s still feeling down, and Saki calls him out on this. They argue for a minute and he says he’s already given up on his dream before storming off. Michiru speaks up from behind a surprised Saki to ask if she thinks dreams are really that important, because the twins don’t think they are. Kaoru starts to speak up about her own dream....
homework, sports, world destruction, you know, the usual.
You may have noticed Dorodoron creeping in the background of that shot as well. He did not go unnoticed by the sisters, and after Saki walks off he talks with the two of them and asks that they not get in his way today, as he has his own dream.... to defeat the Precure and become Akudaikaan’s right hand man.
((doubt))
Saki isn’t letting Kenta’s depression get her down though, and she goes to an extra training session after softball practice and works her heart out. Mai similarly decides to live in the moment and put her all into her drawing at the art club. Kenta watches the softball practice and cheers on Saki, starting to reconsider her words. Saki’s training is interrupted by Dorodoron of course, who has an Uzainaa made out of pipes that shoots mud. Saki is angry at him for interrupting when she was trying her hardest, which he responds to with scorn. Mai quickly appears and the pair transform. Without missing a beat, the monster shoots mudballs at them, which they block with their spirit power but are visibly weakened. Dorodoron taunts them, since he chose this time to attack thinking Saki would be weak after expending all her energy in practice. (That’s actually smart!) Unfortunately for him, he’s just pissed the girls off, and they respond that nothing is impossible for them if they never give up! Then they knock the Uzainaa on its ass before blowing it away with Twin Stream Splash. At least he tried!
After the dust settles, Saki wakes up a sleeping Kenta and he admits that watching Saki practice has reinvigorated his interest, and he vows to take the first step towards his dream that day. Saki and Mai follow him home, where he confesses to his parents that he really wants to be a comedian and he can’t take over their shop. They’re confused, because they never had any doubts about his future or any expectation that he would take over the business, and it turns out the conversation he overheard was about them leaving for a weekend vacation, where he’d be needed to man the shop, but not a permanent takeover. Oops.
MECHOKKU - wait am I allowed to say that this early?
The trio go out on the dock to absorb this information, which mainly consists of Kenta moping while Saki and Mai can’t stop laughing at his misunderstanding.
He does say, though, that this has set him on his path, and tomorrow at school he’ll take his first step toward his dream.
The next day, the two friends are wondering what Kenta’s “first step” could be as they arrive to see a crowd of students around the entrance to the school.
It turns out Kenta is in the middle, recruiting for his new Comedy Club! He makes some absolutely terrible jokes and the episode ends on a still of him laughing.
Obviously, the theme of this episode is pursuing your dreams, no matter what, and hey, even the villain gets in on it!
I can list several reasons that’s not likely to happen
They touch on a point Max Heart once made that you don’t have to know exactly where you want your life to go, just pursue your interests right now. Mai’s brother Kazuya is, as usual, a dispensary of good advice on the subject, and it’s always pleasant to see him. Maybe I’ve just seen too many misunderstanding plots lately, but I really don’t like the fake-out at the end where Kenta’s foks reveal that he misunderstood. At the very least, I wish they’d resolved the misunderstanding earlier, or started it later. Maybe have the episode start with Kenta struggling with comedy and thinking about giving it up, and then in the middle he overhears the conversation about him taking over which gets him in a downer mood. It was just super obvious to me, given his limited understanding of the situation and how vague the conversation he overheard was, that all was not as it seemed, and that undercut my ability to get invested in Kenta’s concerns. Self-doubt is a powerful feeling, and I’m all for it being explored, I just wish it came from a more emotionally resonant source.
This is mainly Kenta’s episode, but Saki has a large role in motivating him, intentionally or unintentionally. The episode opens with her at softball practice, doing catching in the outfield and missing a bunch of balls. The coach tells her to do extra practice after school, which is what she’s doing the following day when Dorodoron attacks. She’s not doing her best, which is why she vows to work hard at her goal of becoming a better softball player. It’s Saki’s drive and commitment that really helps encourage Kenta to talk to his parents and move forward in pursuing his comedic dreams. She also, to a lesser degree, encourages Mai’s artistry. That is Pink Precure Energy. There’s a particular scene that stuck out at me because of the tone and use of music, and that’s Saki’s after-training practice with her coach, catching balls in the outfield. It’s not a long montage, but it is moving, and punctuated with a lovely song from the soundtrack called “Konjou, Konjou, de Konjou!” or “Spirit, Spirit, Lots of Spirit!” It’s a marching theme with drums and heavy brass and while it’s been used before in the show and will be used again, it stood out to me more in this scene than usual. It’s that perfect blend of visuals and music that just sells how hard Saki is working to improve herself, and in turn motivating Kenta. Give it a watch:
vimeo
Michiru and Kaoru don’t have a lot to do in this episode, but they are fun when they appear. The shot of them eavesdropping on Saki, Mai, and Kenta’s conversation on the school balcony is visually interesting because of the use of distance. Not only is there a physical wall separating them, but they’re also a good distance down the walkway, which speaks to the amount of separation between them and the heroines, despite their apparent closeness. Also they’re cast in shadow, and I don’t think that’s just because they’re indoors.
Reading even more into it (probably too much, I don’t know how deep the symbolism goes here), the sliver of light on their faces may represent their growing curiosity about the Land of Greenery and its residents and their behaviors, and lack of loyalty to Dark Fall. In other words, it’s a sign of the light within them starting to shine. But again, maybe I’m reading too much into that. It’s fun to speculate though. Normally they would try to hatch a plot to undermine the girls’ dreams or otherwise disrupt their day, but today they stay out of it. Sure, it’s partly because Dorodoron asked them to, but they didn’t show any indication that they were going to launch an attack (or tell him what to do to get to them). Their observations of the humans and their kindness seem to be having an effect.
But also this bit is hilarious, when Saki is like “Don’t you two have dreams?” Michiru is like “not really” but Kaoru says “Yes” and Michiru just looks over at her in confusion, before she starts to say “My dream is to destroy -”
Michiru’s face is priceless and she quickly ushers Koaru away before she can reveal that they’re evil. Somehow Saki didn’t pick up anything.
There’s a few examples of really unique camera angles that I want to showcase real quick, but I don’t have much to say about them.
They all happen back to back and I’m not sure what the intent was except just to avoid the usual shot/reverse shot for this conversation with Kazuya.
Also you may notice that the characters are looking a little sloppy. The art is not up to par this episode, especially in the mid- and wide angles.
I remember reading somewhere that poor quality control on the artwork and a slow plot led to a ratings slump in the show that they never quite recovered from, even when the storyline picked up (around this part really). I’ll look more into that. The art is noticeable but not awful, and of course we’ve seen much worse. So much worse.
Never forget
I think I’ve exhausted everything I wanted to say about this episode. It’s a nice turning point for the show. Next time, Mai and her mother have a heart to heart. Look forward to it!
Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Zekkouchou Nari. There was a “Zekkouchou” on its own, by Kenta (as part of a joke) but I’m not counting that.
Miracle Drop Count: 3
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500 Followers Celebration!
Hey, everyone! Matchmaker Niki here. As Matchmaker Ellie informed you guys, once we hit 500 followers, we would celebrate by telling the story of we ended up together, and here we are. I’m going to add a “keep reading”, because this is going to be a little long. For those of you that take the time to read, I hope you enjoy this short story. :)
September 30, 2015. It was evening, and I’d been back from class for a few hours. College was kicking my ass, but thankfully I had fandoms and fanfiction. There was one fandom in particular that I was invested in. The phandom. I’d been in for a few months, and I’d started writing fanfiction. I didn’t have much posted, but I’d been working on an AU. Picture Perfect. Photographer!Dan and model!Phil. It was a story I’d been working on for a while, and I had a few chapters ready. Now I just needed to get the guts to post it. For a while, I didn’t have the confidence. The chapters stayed on my computer, unread. It took some coaxing from a good friend, but eventually, that evening arrived, and I posted the first chapter.
The response was overwhelming. I had comments pouring in with every new post. Then, I posted chapter 4, and I received a comment from cynx-17-kh. “Great chapter! I can’t wait for more!” It was the first of many that they left on my story. After a while, based on their comments, I realized that there was a high chance they might be around my age. The thing about people in the phandom, was that they always seemed to either be 14 or 25. I was 18, and I really wanted more internet friends my age. I responded to one of their comments, asking to talk via private message. Thankfully, they replied with their Twitter handle, and on November 18th, we started talking.
For weeks, we talked from the moment we woke up until the moment we went to sleep. When they went away to boot camp, we wrote letters. After boot camp, they finally got a smartphone, and the Snapchats were constant. Skype, DMs, texts, calls, everything. We spent every single day talking for every minute we could, and through it all, I found myself falling in love with them. However, there were three huge barriers. 1. They lived across the country. 2. I had never met them in person. 3. They were in a long-term relationship with a boy for over two years. Needless to say, I felt pretty hopeless.
It was April when it happened. I got a text from them that was a screenshot of their conversation with their boyfriend. The simple version, his response to them restating their asexuality was, “Oh. You’re still on that?” I was getting text after text, picture after picture showing me this awful conversation where he was repeatedly invalidating their sexuality along with trying to diagnose them with mental disorders. And of course, I did, what any 18-year-old girl with a hopeless crush would have done in this moment. Mass text the messages to all my friends captioned, “IT’S HAPPENING!!!” Yes, yes, I know I’m horrible, but we all laugh about it now which is the good thing.
It was a few days later when we were finally able to Skype. We talked for a while, mostly about their boyfriend and how the two of them were fighting. I wanted to tell them, but I knew the timing was terrible. So instead, I decided to go cliche, and I told them that a friend of mine was going through some shit. She really liked her friend, really liked her friend. But that friend was in a long term relationship, and she didn’t know what to do. They offered their best advice, which was to just tell the truth. Eventually, the call ended, and by then I knew I’d backed myself into a corner. I opened up their text thread, and I started typing. I wrote out a small confession, basically stating that obviously that “friend” was me, and I’d been crushing on them for months. My heart stopped when their text bubble showed that they were typing. The words that appeared sent me into shock, as I didn’t think I’d ever see or hear them. “I like you too.”
May 5th, 2016. It was mid-afternoon when I got the Snapchat. It was over between them and their boyfriend. I knew it would have been insane to ask them out. They’d been single for less than an hour, but that didn’t stop me from doing it. They sent me a Snapchat back, “Of fucking course!” From then on, we were long distance dating. We remained long distance until July 22nd, when I flew out to South Carolina and met them in person for the first time. Three days into being there with them, I did the craziest thing I’ve ever done, and I got down on one knee.
It was 10 months later, and we were back in May. Our anniversary was on the horizon, and I was wondering what my gift was. Little did I know that my fiance was on a plane headed my way. They showed up the night before our anniversary, so that we could wake up together the next morning and celebrate. However, there was another reason that I hadn’t been made aware of, one that my own mother had been in on. In order for us to live together (due to military rules) the two of us had to be legally married. It was the main issue we were facing at the time that was keeping us apart. Now, they were there with me, and we had 6 days to pull the trigger. On the 5th day of their visit, we did. We managed to finally get in touch with a judge in the next city over, one that was going to be available at 1:00 p.m. We put on our dresses and jumped in the car without hesitation. By 2:00 p.m., we were spouses. It all felt like a dream, something far too good to be true, and I was going to have to wake up eventually. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case, and by August I was traveling across the country with my mother, all of my stuff packed and stuffed into my truck.
It’s been over a year now, and it still feels like a dream sometimes. Then there are the moments when it’s all so real, and I remember how lucky I am. It’s the little moments, the times when I’m sitting in my underwear watching Cynthia completely ignore the story line of Breath of the Wild to collect mushrooms, or when I wake up on the weekends to them telling me that breakfast is ready. Those are the moments when it’s crystal clear. I found my soulmate, and I couldn’t be more thankful to the universe for giving me this amazing gift.
-Matchmaker Niki
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Kourtney Kardashian, Travis Barker engagement has Scott Disick ‘going crazy’: report
Scott Disick isn’t taking Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker’s engagement news well.
A source exclusively told Page Six that the Talentless founder is losing his mind over the impending nuptials — which is why fans knew to check in on him after the news broke late Sunday.
“Scott is going crazy,” our insider said. “He’s going to go off the deep end. It’s really bad. It’s about to get dark.”
A rep for Disick didn’t immediately return Page Six’s request for comment.
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN AND TRAVIS BARKER ENGAGED
Travis Barker and Kourtney Kardashian share a kiss at the 2021 MTV Video Music Awards red carpet. (Photo by Noam Galai)
Barker proposed to Kardashian on the beach in Montecito, Calif., with an oval-cut diamond ring estimated to be worth $1 million.
Disick shares three children with his ex: 11-year-old son Mason, 9-year-old daughter Penelope and 6-year-old son Reign.
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN’S EX, SCOTT DISICK, BLASTS HER PDA WITH TRAVIS BARKER IN ALLEGED DMS TO ANOTHER PAST BEAU
While the former “Flip It Like Disick” star, 38, may not be thrilled about the engagement, he gave his blessing to Kardashian’s relationship with the Blink-182 drummer during the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” reunion, which aired in June.
Scott Disick, right, is reportedly fuming at the news his ex Kourtney Kardashian is engaged to Travis Barker, both left. (Getty Images)
“I mean, yeah,” Disick told host Andy Cohen when asked point-blank whether he’d “bless” the couple’s romance. “I think if you really love somebody right, you want them to be happy no matter what. So, I do give her a blessing to be happy.”
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN PLANS TO ‘CONFRONT’ EX SCOTT DISICK OVER ALLEGED DM TO FORMER BEAU YOUNES BENDJIMA: SOURCE
In hindsight, it doesn’t look like Disick meant what he said because he later shaded the Poosh founder’s PDA with Barker in an Instagram DM to one of her other exes, Younes Bendjima.
“Yo is this chick ok!???? Broooo like what is this. In the middle of Italy,” Disick appeared to write to Bendjima, attaching a photo of Kardashian, 42, mounting Barker, 45, on a boat.
Scott Disick is reportedly ‘going crazy’ after his ex Kourtney Kardashian got engaged to Travis Barker over the weekend. He is pictured in New York City on Oct. 10, 2021. (Photo by Gotham/GC images)
SCOTT DISICK ‘KEEPING AWAY’ FROM KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN-TRAVIS BARKER ROMANCE DURING HAMPTONS GETAWAY: SOURCE
“Doesn’t matter to me as long as she’s happy,” Bendjima, who screenshotted the messages and then shared them, purportedly responded. “PS: i aint your bro.”
Disick and then-girlfriend Amelia Gray Hamlin broke up shortly thereafter.
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He and Kardashian dated from 2005 to 2015. She went public with Barker in January.
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Hi... My name is Stu and I have Depression... and Anxiety... and OCD.
Pretty sure that's all I have, god I hope that's all I have, its enough to deal with.
I'll tell you a little about myself before I get launched into the reason for starting a blog, but before I do you need to understand that above all other things on this earth, I love my daughters and I would do anything for them and to have them in my life.
I'm 37 years and 6 months on this planet, I have until 2 months ago lived a relatively happy and what most would class as normal life. I have three wonderful daughters, and I've been married twice. Like I said, a normal life.
I'm currently a single father and my 2 youngest daughters (6 & 7) live with me 3-4 nights a week, whilst my older Daughter (13) lives with me when she feels like it, which is usually at the weekend. Sometimes I don't see her for weeks, but we chat by text every day.
Like all good depression stories, mines starts with a girl and a guy.
Flash back to May 2017, I met a girl through a good friend, this good friend also owned the shop that I worked in at the time. (you can already see where this is going)
This girl and I got on like you dream about, we were into the same things, she allowed me to be myself, which was something that had previously been denied to me in other relationships, she made me cups of tea when I would go over to hers after work. She did all the little things that I had craved in both my marriages.
She was phenomenal with my Daughters, had so much time for them, couldn't do enough to entertain and provide for them. She also had a son of her own, she was the model mother, he is such an amazing little boy who will one day smash the patriarchy with his feministic views.
I honestly couldn't see it ever being anything other than absolutely amazing, and I knew I would do anything to make this relationship work.
Fast forward 11 months, this amazing girl who I now lived with had asked me several times if I paid child support for my daughters, to which I had repeatedly answered no, which wasn't strictly a lie, but also not entirely the truth. What I did pay was £200 a month towards her rent, which was the reason for not paying child support. I had kept this a secret, because I don't know why. Was I scared of how she would react? Sure I was, I was terrified it would end everything, and so I kept my secret and continued to pay.
Then one day, in a conversation about my ex wife, I was asked, why does she still have my surname? Truth is I don't know, I guess since our kids have my surname she decided just to keep it, and to be honest it didn't bother me greatly, so I didn't bother to rock the boat. This amazing girl didn't agree, she asked me if I would ask her to change it back to her maiden name, and me being the doting man who didn't want to upset or lose this amazing girl did just that.
It felt wrong before I had even started typing the text, I knew right away this was going to blow up, this needless act was going to cause me some sort of mental anguish, and I was so right... still did it though.
The backlash from ex wife was not surprisingly aggressive and cold, she didn't want to have a different surname to her children, she didn't want to go back to her maiden name because she hated her family and didn't want associate with them, and she didn't want to go through the hassle of changing all of her details with the bank, passport, licence etc.
During this tirade at me, I was being directed by amazing girl with how to respond, we would pay all costs, we would cover anything that needed covered, anything that would get this surname changed, and make all well with the world... little did I know this was only the beginning.
I guess since ex wife was all riled, she decided to drop a bombshell on me, she was moving away, and she was taking my children with her. Her new house would be 2 hours drive away, so I was suddenly going to go from having my children 3-4 nights a week, to seeing them every other weekend. I wasn't getting a say in it, that was it.
Looking back now, I think that this was the point my 'Mental Health Crisis' started, it's what they call a nervous breakdown nowadays apparently.
Ex wife revealed that my £200 a month to cover rent wasn't enough anymore and she needed to moved to a bigger house because she was expecting another child with her new partner.
KABOOM!
Amazing girl was reading all responses with me as they were coming in, and there it was in full text, confirmation that I was paying £200 a month towards my children and that she was expecting another child. Amazing girl would have loved nothing more than to have more children, but due to my vasectomy that wasn't going to happen for us with out surgery of some kind.
I had a full emotional breakdown, on one hand I had lied to this amazing girl who was the world to me, and on the other hand my life was being ripped away from me by my ex wife who was going to take my children away. My life was literally being torn in two and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it.
I fled, I went to my parents, in floods of tears, I was totally broken, not one part of my body didn't hurt, my heart felt like it was being torn from my chest, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak. My mum held me for a long time, I remember thinking, this is why I'm such a good parent, because my Mum has given me these skills that she still bestows on me today.
Over the next couple weeks my relationship with amazing girl broke down because I had betrayed and lied to her and because emotionally I was destroyed and didn't have the words to say anything to her to make it better, my work suffered, and that's not good when you're self employed. My relationship with my friend who owned the studio I worked in suffered, I think now for two reasons, 1. because I had hurt his friend, and 2. because I wasn't making money for his studio. In the end he let me go. That was the triple whammy right there, the kidney punch on top of the heart ripping. No Partner, No Kids and No Job.
That was the lowest I have ever felt, I don't even know now, today, if I could ever feel lower than that, I don't think I'd ever want to.
That weekend I had a text from my ex friend who owned the studio, he laid it out for me and his reasoning for letting me go, he explained that my behaviour had been erratic and I had lost sight of my business and in that he had lost his trust and faith in me. It actually made me feel a little better, it was the first thing I didn't have to over think, here was an explanation I could understand. I responded that I was grateful for his text and his explanation, I was sorry things had gotten to where the had and I had no hard feeling towards him or the shop studio. He asked me if I would train a new member of staff to do my old job, and he would pay me to do it, honestly I thought that was pretty cheeky, but I had no job and bills coming up so I was considering it, but didn't respond to it just yet.
Within an hour of those texts I had a message from another Studio, who had caught wind that I no longer worked in my old studio, he asked me if I'd come see him for a chat. Understand that I had not even considered what I was going to do for work yet, I hadn't even put the feelers out. Long story short he offered me a position at his studio on the same deal I had already been on, and I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. This studio had always outsourced their clients to me anyway, so now I would just be working in house.
Did I mention the new studio is literally across the road from my old studio? I mean, literally across the road, they can see each other from the front doors.
Cue ex friend catching wind of my new career prospects, I still don't know how he found out, as I only told two people, but I suspect perhaps some in-house chatter between the two studios, it doesn't really matter. I received a text from ex friend 'under no circumstance, am I to work at [this new studio]' I ignored this text, another text arrived not even 10 minutes later calling me a baby for not responding (how ironic).
So I responded that I had been made an offer that I was considering and that he had let me go, so he didn't really have any day in the matter. I got another text stating 'I've just messaged [the new studio], and it looks like that door will be closed to you now haha'. My first ever panic attack happened there and then, what had he done? What had he said, what did he mean? I couldn't breathe again, my mind was in overdrive.
A message arrived from the new studio owner, it was a screenshot of the message he had been sent by my ex friend. He went into a full account of how I had been sacked for stealing money from the studio and the other businesses within the studio. My heart sunk, what had I done to deserve this? I messaged my ex friend and asked for an explanation, at first I think he was shocked that I had been sent this screenshot, I don't think he anticipated that it would come out, he had hoped I think that the work would continue to be outsourced to his studio and his new employee and that I would be on my merry way jobless once again.
Thankfully, the new studio saw through the idiocy of his plan, and coupled with the texts I had been receiving just hours earlier still gave me the position.
To this day, I don't know what I did, other than take an offered position, to offend him. It makes me sad that we're not friends anymore, he continues to maintain my guilt, he has taken all my clients, but I still don't hate him. He has verbally and physically assaulted me, and I still don't hate him. He is a very bitter man, who is perhaps struggling with some mental issues of his own. I feel sorry for him in a strange way.
Every day now, I wake up and I'm riddled with Anxiety about what people think of me, what if I meet him in the street, what if I'm not good enough for this new studio. The texts from him have stopped, I received one randomly from his wife, and I receive text from my ex amazing girl now and then. I have yet to respond to a single one of them. I think that I need this chapter of my life to end, this new job is the start of the next chapter, it's a new start, but the old one is still being tied up. This anxiety brings on bouts of depression, especially when my kids are not around, I find myself sleeping in the afternoon when I'm off work, or visiting my family a lot more just so I'm not alone, I think about everything, constantly, the thoughts come very suddenly and my brain just screams BOOM, FUCKING HAVE THAT TO DEAL WITH!!
Oh yeah, about my kids, I still see them 3-4 days a week, my ex wife hasn't mentioned moving away again, and I'm not bringing the subject up again.
So there you have it, how I got to today. My hope is that I can write here, just a little every day or every other day, little snippets and updates of daily life with me, my dog and my kids. To record the good times and the hard times and hopefully notice just how strong I am and continue to become every day.
Thank you for reading.
Stu
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I was tagged by @thebioticbasilisk
Rules: answer the questions and tag 10 blogs
Nicknames: Shan, my siblings have gotten into the terrible habit of calling me “Shan-Pan”(what’s worse is I respond to it) and one of my friends likes to call me “lesbian version of me”. Sometimes Shanooooooon or Shannoona. (Trying to write it how it’s said idk how successful I’ve been).
Gender/pronouns: female she/her
Star sign: Taurus
Height: 5'4 ish? At least that’s what I yell when people say I’m very short(FIGHT ME)
Time: it’s nearly 7 in the morning, have to leave the house soon if I want to beat the traffic on my hour long commute to uni (and that’s long every morning when it takes like 4/5 hours to cross the either country ok?)
Birthday: 4th of may (people remember it purely because it’s Star Wars day)
Favourite Bands: Fifth Harmony
Favorite solo artist(s): Demi Lovato. I could list more but I think I’ll just stick to the Ones I like properly stan.
Song stuck in your head: a mixture of all the baddies songs from Rwby. "Divide" "when it falls" ,"sacrifice" etc ( the "THEYLL TURN ON EACH OTHEERRRRRRRR" part is echoing at the moment)
Last Movie You Watched: Saw pitch perfect 3 yesterday. Funny but not quite gay enough. And too little Stacey.
Last Show?: I got the box set for seasons 1-4 of Arrow so I’ve been binging that (I haven’t watched it yet). I just finished the finale of season 1.
Why did you create your blog?:I had a fandom twitter account and by a certain point, half the stuff I was retweeting was screenshots from tumblr so I joined.
What do you post?: I reblog memes, old, new, I don’t really give a shit, a shit ton of fandom stuff, all the gay content I can get my grubby hands on, cute animals, and the occasional social activism post. I also try my hand at making fandom jokes with various degrees of success (like the “a few years later” supercorp one, over 500 reblogs and counting, my most successful by far)
Last thing you googled?: Kate bishop young avengers 2013 (may or may not be cosplaying her this year, we’ll see. I mean you probably won’t, unless you know me irl, but I will)
Other blogs: I don’t have any other blogs, if you follow me for one of my interests, you deal with ALLL of them.
I’ll just put my other non-personal social media here.
Ao3: UslessLesbian
Twitter:Notabasic5hUser (as in username)
I follow: 3432 (That is higher than I expected)
Followers: 701 (ALSO HIGHER THAN I EXPECTED WOW)
Average hours of sleep: during the week I aim for 8, weekend? I’ll sleep 10 hours easily, at least. I love sleep son.
Lucky number: either 4 or 23
Instruments: Don’t play any, my uncles were supposed to teach me how to play guitar but they never did. I (very badly) played the tin whistle as a child because this one teacher forced us to learn. I (unsurprisingly considering how much she tried to shame me over my shitty playing[i really hated that bitch]) I cannot play it any longer.
What are you wearing?: black jeans, a long purple top with a basketball on the front, and a green scarf and red kinda puffy jacket (I swear it’s nicer than it sounds)
Dream job?: I wanna work in conservation.i met one girl who worked in the zoo and ran programs and taught people about conservation and I’ve low-key wanted her job since, but pretty much any kind of conservation job would be a dream.
Dream trip?: Hmmmmm… I always wanted to go to Egypt, see the pyramids and such, and go on safari. I also really want to go to New York and see the stonewall inn, every since I did my history project on the riots.
Favorite food?: Garlic bread
Significant other?: nope, never have, but I hopefully will, someday.
Last book I read: just finished Melanie Murphy’s memoir/life guide thing “fully functional human-almost”. It was great honestly, it’s not usually my kind of thing ( prefer fiction) but I love her videos so I got it, and it was wonderful.
Top 3 fictional universes: Thedas (Dragon Age), Mass Effect, the world of the Inheritance series.
I tag- @abansheecries @adena-wilde
@chlorofullofit @nightvaldez @curiousfrenchgirl @amazonalexandra
And anyone who wants to give it a shot.
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A row over staged photos, a health scare and unanswered messages: why Thomas Markle missed his own daughter’s wedding. The second of three days of exclusive extracts from Finding Freedom: Harry and Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family
As Harry and Meghan were revelling in their engagement in November 2017, a newspaper published an article about her father, Thomas Markle, that it had been piecing together for months. The story showed pictures of his home atop a 120ft bluff in Rosarito Beach, a quiet Mexican resort town that overlooked the Pacific Ocean, and had details of his life, such as the red Ford Escape or silver Volvo he drove to his local Walmart to stock up on groceries or to the storage unit where he had bragged to the owner about his daughter who was on television. But there were no quotes, as any time a reporter approached him, he responded with the line prepared for him by palace officials: “I can’t speak out of respect for my family.”
Once the article came out with his home’s location, Thomas Markle had to deal with constant intrusions from reporters and photographers. Over the course of several phone calls, Harry and Meghan told him he should do his best to ignore all press. But, ultimately, he didn’t listen. With some encouragement from his other daughter, Samantha — Meghan’s half-sister, 17 years older than her, who managed to get a cut of the deal in the process — Thomas took up an idea from a photographer, Jeff Rayner. Rayner’s idea was for Thomas to pose for some pictures: reading a book about British history at a coffee shop, visiting an internet café to read the latest news stories about his daughter and future son-in-law and other setups.
The photos ran in outlets around the world but did little to help his public image. In fact, the person they seemed to help was Rayner, who banked at least $130,000 for his photo agency from their sales. Thomas took 30%.
Just one week before Thomas was due to attend Harry and Meghan’s wedding at Windsor Castle in May 2018, the palace got word that a Sunday tabloid intended to run information that would expose the “candid” frames as fakes. At Harry’s instruction, the palace communications team, in consultation with the legal team, began working on a strategy to stop the publication of the embarrassing story.
First, though, Meghan needed to hear straight from her dad what had happened. According to a trusted confidant who was with Meghan as events unfolded, she told her father, “Dad, we need to know if this is true or not, because my team is going to try to stop this story running — if you are telling me it’s fake.
“If they do that, they’re going out of their way to protect you, Dad,” Meghan said over the phone. “You’re telling me you’re being victimised, right?”
He lied to Meghan. “Of course,” he promised, failing to admit he had participated in the staging of the photos.
“Every single time she was calling him, she was like, ‘Dad, I love you. I just want you to know I love you. Everything is fine. Just get here. We’ll have the wedding. We’ll celebrate. Don’t worry about any of this stuff. Let’s just put it behind us,’” the source said. “You want to believe the best, right?”
The source continued: “I’ve heard her say, ‘My dad never sought this out. I really believe that he’s the victim, and now I feel sad because I believe he’s been fully corrupted.’”
Before Meghan got off the phone to her father, she reminded him that a car would be arriving outside his door the next day to drive him to Los Angeles. From there, he was to make the transatlantic trip to London, where all the arrangements had been handled. He would be accompanied door to door, with chauffeured cars, personal security and a guide to answer any question. He wouldn’t have to worry about a thing.
Meanwhile, the communications staff at Kensington Palace did all they could to keep Thomas’s ill-conceived plan from exploding, collaborating with him to issue a report with the Independent Press Standards Organisation and a notice to UK newspaper editors about the situation. But to no avail: the morning after Meghan phoned her father, the headlines read: “Meghan’s dad staged photos with the paparazzi”. Screenshots from closed-circuit cameras made it clear he had staged each and every one.
Meghan was devastated by her father’s deception, but she was also concerned for his welfare. Thomas hadn’t demonstrated the best judgment, to be sure. But the wedding was only a week away. She was desperate to get him to London, where he would be protected from the press by palace escorts and protection officers.
She called her father right away, but he didn’t answer. She called again. And again, and again. She left some version of the same message each time: “Dad, I still love you. Nothing has changed. We’re going to get you safely to London. I’m sending a car to come and get you.”
Despite Meghan’s barrage of voicemails and texts, her father not only refused to get in the waiting car to the airport; he didn’t respond to a single message from his daughter.
“My God, my phone,” Meghan told a friend, explaining that she’d called her father at least 20 times.
“I’m assuming he’s getting my messages,” she added, worried.
Rather than knowing anything for certain, she and Harry were updated on her father’s plans (whether or not he was going to attend her wedding) through the tabloids and gossip websites. He contacted the American entertainment website TMZ to plead his case, explaining he was trying to “recast” his image after being “ambushed” by photographers. But to spare his daughter and the royal family any further embarrassment, he would no longer attend the wedding.
While in public the palace maintained a stoic silent facade, behind closed doors there were recriminations and anger. Having cut himself off from aides and his daughter, Thomas was feeding the press a seemingly never-ending stream of nonsensical statements. Palace courtiers were waiting minute by minute for the next bombshell to drop.
“It was very, very tough,” an aide said about the palace’s response to the Thomas Markle situation. “It’s very easy to blame the palace, but, my God, I’ve not seen any situation quite like it — where you’ve got a woman marrying a prince, and the father of the beautiful young woman is 5,000 miles away and just not playing ball, and not only not playing ball, but he’s up to silly games.”
Thomas claimed a furious Harry called him and hissed, “If you had listened to me, this would never have happened.” But no such conversation occurred. In another dramatic turn of events, just the day after saying he was not attending the wedding, Thomas told reporters that he couldn’t imagine missing such a historic event.
A wounded Meghan directed Kensington Palace officials to release a statement she wrote herself about the incident, calling it “a deeply personal matter” and requesting her privacy as they sorted it out. While she in no way wanted her family drama to play out so publicly, she felt forced to take some sort of action.
Despite her father’s behaviour, she was nonetheless crushed by the thought of him not being there for the wedding. “As much as she was hurt and humiliated, she wanted him to be there and was willing to move on,” a close friend said. “Plus, she was worried about him: she honestly wasn’t sure if he was actually OK. His behaviour was bizarre.”
His bespoke suit and custom shoes were waiting at the Oliver Brown tailor in Chelsea, southwest London, and Harry had asked a military veteran to accompany Meghan’s father. “The treatment that Meghan’s mother, Doria, received when she arrived here is exactly what was planned for Thomas,” a senior aide added, noting that he would have been put up in a hotel and given a protection officer and assistant during his stay.
With only four days left before her wedding, though, Meghan received more devastating news from her father — again through a celebrity gossip website. Laying the blame firmly at the feet of the prying press, Thomas claimed the stress had caused him to have a heart attack. His doctors advised him that he needed surgery just two days before his daughter took her vows, to clear a blockage, repair damage and implant several stents. Short of some sort of miraculous recovery, he said, he would be in no shape to fly across the Atlantic and thus would not be attending the royal wedding.
Troubled, Meghan tried to text Thomas: “I’ve been reaching out to you all weekend but you’re not taking any of our calls or replying to any texts . . . Very concerned about your health and safety and have taken every measure to protect you but not sure what more we can do if you don’t respond . . . Do you need help? Can we send the security team down again? I’m very sorry to hear you’re in the hospital but need you to please get in touch . . . What hospital are you at?”
Ten minutes later she followed up with another. “Harry and I made a decision earlier today and are dispatching the same security guys you turned away this weekend to be a presence on the ground to make sure you’re safe . . . they will be there at your disposal as soon as you need them. Please call as soon as you can . . . all of this is incredibly concerning but your health is most important,” she wrote.
That evening Thomas sent a short response to say that he appreciated the offer of security but didn’t feel in any danger. Instead, he wrote, he would recover at a motel. Meghan asked for details but he didn’t reply.
Not a word about the subject had been spoken when Meghan brought Doria to meet the Queen and Prince Philip earlier in the day, but the situation still caused her to feel embarrassed about the public drama during their afternoon tea at Windsor Castle.
Meghan placed some of the blame on herself. Having spent the past year and a half in the glaring spotlight, she understood what the pressure from the media was like. “He’s vulnerable,” she told a friend. “He’s been baited. A lot of the tabloid journalists have been coaxing him and paying him. I don’t know if he really even had a chance.”
Harry also blamed the media for the whole situation. “The pressure he was put under for six months before he finally cracked and started to participate,” a senior courtier said of Meghan’s father, “that’s what Harry’s angry about.”
One individual close to the couple summed it up this way: “There is a sort of aggressive intrusiveness and a reckless, irresponsible almost hostility to the media’s actions that’s deeply harmful. I don’t think the paparazzi are the same. I think that has changed. But the sort of ruthless malevolence of some sections of the media, and it is malevolent, is genuinely bad. What they’ve done to her father, drawn him out from his private life and forced him out into the open, and then waving cheques at him, it’s just absolutely terrible. He wanted to live privately. He would have continued to live privately. He would have been at the wedding if the media had left him alone as they were asked to. And there’s no public interest argument to excuse intruding into the private life of Thomas Markle.”
“If it wasn’t for Harry, Doria and her friends, Meghan herself says that she wouldn’t have mentally got through it,” a friend said. The night before the wedding, she sent her father one last text. He did not reply.
Sitting in a bath later that night, FaceTiming with a friend, the bride-to-be said she had left her dad a final message, adding: “I can’t sit up all night just pressing send.”
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Woman Rolls Up On Cop Who Was Released On Bail After George Floyd’s Killing + NYPD Claims No Crime Was Committed After Officers Drove SUVs Into Protesters
A woman spotted one of the police officers who were brought up on charges for the killing of George Floyd. And she went IN. Deets on her interaction, plus find out how the NYPD is backing their officers who drove their SUVs into protesters inside…
A woman recognized a man in the grocery store to be one of the cops who were involved in the killing of George Floyd – the black Minneapolis man who was killed after a white police officer kneeled into the back of his neck for nearly 9 minutes. At one point while George was being detained, there were three officers who kneeled their body weight onto him.
A video of a woman confronting one of the ex-Minneapolis police officers charged in the death of George Floyd has gone viral. The woman rolled up on 26-year-old J. Alexander Kueng, who was one of the four officers fired from the Minneapolis Police Department and criminally charged after Floyd's death, after she recognized him in the gorcery store. He's one of three officers charged with aiding and abetting second-degree manslaughter for their roles in helping pin George down before he died on Memorial Day.
Turns out, J. Alexander was on his third day on the job on May 25th when his fellow police officer, Derek Chauvin, pressed his knee into Floyd's neck for almost 9-minutes, killing him. J. Alexander Kueng was released from the Hennepin County Jail shortly before 7:30 p.m. Friday (June 19th) after posting bail that was set at $750,000, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
After his release, he went to a grocery store and a woman recognized him. Soon as she did, she turned her camera on to record her encounter.
"Oh. Yeah, that's me," J. Alexander responded to the woman who recognized him in the grocery store.
Once he confirmed his identity the woman was very vocal about J. Alexander being "out of prison, comfortably shopping in Cub Foods, as if you didn't do anything," Kueng responded, "I wouldn't call it 'comfortably.' I would just say getting necessities — or helping."
"I don't think you should have that right. I don't think you should even be out on bail," the woman said.
"I can understand that," Kueng responded. "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Sis wasn't having it. Check it:
Cop who killed George Floyd Caught Lackin At Grocery Store pic.twitter.com/VdhssWO8cW
— Kollege Kidd (@KollegeKidd) June 21, 2020
Cop who killed George Floyd Caught Lackin At Grocery Store pic.twitter.com/gdxGkwcNNi
— Don Jordan (@Born44473274) June 22, 2020
The person who originally posted the video has since changed the settings on his account to be private.J. Alexander was released after he coughed up the cash on a $750,000 bail. Former officer Tou Thao, is still being held in jail on $750,000 bail. Derek Chauvin is also still jailed, facing second-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter with his bail set at $1.25 million.
And get this....
According to reports, several officers filed complaints with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights, saying that the superintendent of the Ramsey County jail in St. Paul kept them from bringing Derek Chauvin to his cell. In fact, the black officers weren't allowed to be on the same floor as him — last month, solely because of their race, according to them. The NY Times reports:
The officers, half of whom are black and all of whom are people of color, said the orders from the superintendent, Steve Lydon, who is white, amounted to segregation and indicated that he thought they could not be trusted to do their jobs because they are not white.
After initially denying that officers’ contact with Mr. Chauvin had been determined by race, a spokesman for the Ramsey County Sheriff’s Office acknowledged the move this weekend and said Mr. Lydon had been temporarily removed from the superintendent role as the sheriff investigates the officers’ claims.
Roy Magnuson, the spokesman, provided a statement that he said Mr. Lydon gave to investigators. In it, Mr. Lydon said he had decided to keep nonwhite employees away from Mr. Chauvin because he believed having people of color interact with him could have “heightened ongoing trauma.” He said he had only done so on short notice and for 45 minutes before realizing that he had made a mistake, after which he reversed the order and apologized. Officers said it had lasted longer — affecting one shift two days later — and that not enough had been done in response.
Womp.
In other police news...
New angle of an NYPD SUV driving into protesters Saturday.
New York Mayor Bill de Blasio defended the New York City Police Department saying, "if a police officer is in that situation, they have to get out of that situation.” pic.twitter.com/tlPvkVQAmh
— Austin Kellerman (@AustinKellerman) May 31, 2020
The NYPD said two officers didn't do anything wrong when they ran over protesters. NYPD officers in two marked SUVs plowied through a crowd of protesters who were blocking their path. Peep the video above and below:
Here is the overhead... pic.twitter.com/US6Qqhkz3O
— Rob Bennett (@rob_bennett) May 31, 2020
The NYPD said the officers did nothing wrong. Yahoo! reports:
NYPD commissioner Dermot Shea would like to assure everyone that the officers didn't violate any department policies when they accelerated into people. On Monday, Shea appeared before New York attorney general Letitia James in an online public hearing in an ongoing investigation into NYPD's responses to the anti-police brutality protests, and Shea unequivocally defended the officers' actions.
When James asked about the incident, "Was that in violation of your use of force policy?" Shea replied simply, "No." He continued, "Our internal affairs bureau investigated this information and preliminarily we have an accounting of that incident where we have officers in a situation where they’re essentially being penned in by protesters."
So, James asked, would Shea consider it "an appropriate use of force?"
Shea replied, "I’m not saying that the police car was used as a use of force. The officers were set upon and attacked, and thankfully they were able to get out of that situation with, to my knowledge, no injuries to anyone."
Backing the vehicles up apparently was impossible in Shea's telling of events, but equally troubling is the technical jargon he's relying on to minimize the severity and brutality of the officers under him: hitting people with a car is only a "use of force" if the NYPD fails to find a way to justify it after the fact.
Do you think the officers in the videos above are wrong, regardless of the alleged "law" that wasn't broken?
Photo: @salahalmulla74 Screenshot
[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/06/24/woman-rolls-up-on-cop-who-was-released-on-bail-after-george-floyd%E2%80%99s-killing-nypd-claims-n
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march 17th, 2020 1:50 AM
yeah
listen
it’s pretty well established that i am absolutely atrocious at keeping this updated. and i always say that i am going to keep it updated. but i never fucking do, do i? so i’ll say it again. and maybe i’ll mean it it this time. but i really do want to keep this up. there’s so much that i am forgetting lately. things i shouldn’t be forgetting. things i want to remember. this is another situation where i am going to have to outline each thing by each month. hold on to your butts.
[october 2018] see i don’t remember even what’s going on. this is almost two years ago. i saw the national this month. i also went on a date with sam. it went fine but i just wanted to be friends... so he ghosted me. yahoo. it’s coming back to me now. i go to worlds of fun with kady, marissa, ashleigh, amanda, and conner... love these goons so much.
[november 2018] my other friend - an online friend, one that lived close. we talked all the time and we played a lot of overwatch and shit together. and i’m intelligent. i’m smart. i know when i’m being taken advantage, or know when people try to do this. he asks me out on a date. we meet up in leavenworth. we spend the whole day together and we drink alcohol. i found out later i have a pretty severe alcohol intolerance. i don’t remember much of that night. maybe everything that falls down eventually rises. that whole experience was that stupid fucking bright eyes song. i can’t remember much - that pretty much makes it nonconsensual, right? i have no memory. but it’s been too long. the next day he texts me and tells me he only wants to be friends. i only remember him kissing me and his house and brooklyn 99. my aunt said i was pretty incoherent when he dropped me back off there at 2am.
i don’t really know what to make of that whole situation. best to not think about it. we have a friendsgiving. but we don’t relaspe. i actually took up smoking, lmao. i cut him completely out of my life. i am talking to people again. i start dating a boy named drew. we were both pretty lonely people.
[december 2018] yooo drew gets in a fucking wreck after leaving my house at 2am lmao i forgot about that. he was trying to avoid a snowstorm and like broke his femur in half. he was hospitalized for 2 weeks. i visited him. he couldn’t walk for about two months. i felt really bad but i didn’t really want to keep dating him. the whole thing was my fault and i don’t know how to feel about it even now. nothing else much happened during this month. someone wrecked into my parked car. i got zaba this month, my ball python.
[january 2019] kady asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. i break up with drew. it’s cold as fuck. i am sure there are other details. oh, ashleigh tells kady and i she will not be renewing the lease as she is going to move in with her boyfriend. ashleigh, in the past, like august 2018? was dating this homophobe so i didn’t talk to her. when he dumped her (after taking the old v card, which she told me about, which i responded to with indifference, which upset her) i was there to pick up the pieces but i told her she made a really dumb decision and i don’t know what else she expected and that it hurt that she knew my feelings about something and still dating someone so gross. ANYWAYS. new boyfriend. ashleigh wants to move in with the new boyfriend even though they havent even been dating a month... okay. we tell her not to. she doesn’t listen. ashleigh just starts being shady as fuck. jake , her bf, dumps after 2 weeks after she decides to not renew the lease. dumbass.
ashleigh is still set to move out in may, when the lease is up. so, that’s not my problem.
[february 2019] i really love my classes. i took ornithology that semester and i really loved it. i also cut my hair then and i came out publicly as bisexaul cause i realized how problematic being pansexual is. i also think i came out publicly as a nonbinary person, too. for so long i had issues with my gender, but i always pushed it aside and literally told myself don’t think about it, don’t worry about it, just stop. cringily, steven universe helped me figure out a label for what i was experiencing through rebecca sugar. pretty awesome stuff.
[march 2019] a lot of shit went down this month. ashleigh started dating a guy named zane, who she first originally described to me as a creepy guy in her history class. they went on one date and fucked in her CAR in a museum PARKING LOT. lmao and then proceeds to never sleep with him at our apartment, but will book hotels and shit. like how self conscious can you be?? anyways. i am fed up with it and i vent to some discord server and forgot ashleigh was in it. i delete it just in case but turns out she got screenshots and never told me. ash wanted to come to nakakon the weekend of march 16. march 15, ashleigh brings over zayn and theyre in her room. kady and conner are watching the office and marissa is there too.
i come home at like 1am and they tell me ZAYN is there and has a fucking GUN on his hip and i’m?? what the fuck. so we start playing that episode of the office with gun safety dwight really really loudly. and then marissa messages ash and asks zayn to put the gun in his car. the gun is a REVOLVER and doesn’t have a fucking safety. she also doesnt have a gun safe? everyone is just super uncomfortable. zayn comes out and makes a huge deal. he tells us we’re being immature and that it isn’t a big deal. i said something along the lines that we live here, he didn’t ask, we’re uncomfortable, respect it or perish, smth like that. he leaves to go put it in his car. comes back in and starts it back up. says that “the big scary gun is put away” shut up cuck.
anyways we get into and conner steps in because zayn is yelling at me and i am ready to brawl. zayn mentions something abuot how i treat ash like shit. i can only assume she showed him the screenshots of my discord message lmaoooo . anyways the day after that incident ! i cannot resolve it because ash is coming with me and staying at my dad’s apartment with marissa and i for nakakon. ashleigh is really obnoxious some of the time but mostly quiet. but since we were in such close quarters, i couldn’t bring up the whole shit with zayn. so.
i am fed up and amanda, kady, marissa, ash, and i go to ihop to try and hash this out. we have a talking straw. we talk about alllll of our issues. i thought it went good. i was not aware that ash was aware of the screenshots. we told ash we were uncomfortable with zayn and would appreciate if he would apologize for disrespecting kady and i in our home and how he talked to me especially. this wasn’t unreasonable, considering three other people were witness to how zayn was talking to me.
zayn said to ashleigh he wouldn;t apologize because he’d done nothing wrong. i told ashleigh i didn’t want him in the apartment. she moved out at this point and we got into it pretty heavily over messenger. ashleigh blocked all of us on facebook. i miss her but she’s a really toxic person who is in a relationship with a really toxic trump supporter who hates antifa and is really cringe.
[april 2019] nothing much happened. college is good. i still have a massive crush on carter. marissa moved in. she has found out i am a giant recluse by nature and i think that has had an impact on our relationship even today. my past journal articles have illustrated i can only take people in doses, but we’ve found how to get along.
[may - july 2019] nothing too crazy happened here either. it was an incredible summer, though. i worked, but i went to the lake so much and got close to toby! i hung out with marissa and kady so much and i really love those two girls. dad and amy are together all the time but they’re not “dating”. i know they are, just amy’s kids are young and wouldn’t understand. i know they’ll tell me when they’re ready. i also watched all of hunter x hunter and loved it. rewatched neon genesis evangelion, too, and loved it. i can’t remember when, but danielle handed marissa a letter for me to read. it was really intense and kind of perception-shattering. i texted her and we agreed to become at least non-hostile and chill with each other. i have really been meaning to see danielle irl and talk to her... but i keep forgetting and don’t have much time during the semester. i feel bad but... i don’t know what else to say. i reached out to her in december but was left on read. that was my fault, as i hadn’t responded to her in months. it’s better than what it was, to say the least.
[august 2019] golden year baby ! just kidding my golden year was whenever i turned nineteen. anyways august is pretty chill. i started my senior year and took entomology. i loved that class so much and had it with carter. i really love the people in my field and i am going to miss them so much. love the biology goons. i also found out from my doctor i am allergic to most alcohols after i had an allergic reaction on my 21st and went to the doctors. i have a pretty severe intolerance. also started playing dragon age again. i don’t really talk to mom at all. my maternal grandfather, cliff, who i have never met/spoken to, has a relationship with my sister ashlee and was at my nephew’s first birthday party. cliff met my brothers and i and was very kind to us. however, i love my aunt shanna with my whole heart and she doesn’t like him at all. there was a very clear and obvious divide of my mom’s sisters and family, like jordan, kenadee, brettney, nana, and my grandfather’s family, like his other children and their spouses. it was all very difficult. i know my grandfather doesn’t have much time left in this world, but he still was rude and treated the family who HAS been there like shit. i know my mom cut my grandfather out, but i am inclined to side with my aunt because she knows best. however, she didn’t pull me aside at the birthday party and tell me not to believe a thing cliff says. cliff, however, did that. told me to believe what nana says and that it was all in the past. that rubbed me the wrong way. i still don’t know what to think about that situation.
[september 2019] just school and work still, nothing crazy. mammalogy trips, entomology trips, school is really really fun and a lot of work but i love it so much! oh, and carter got me a bernie2020 magnet for my birthday.
[october 2019] i saw the band cigarettes after sex. they were really awesome. i broke my glasses. i went to ren fest. nathan was creepy. i saw my mom and my aunt brenna at toby’s marching band game. dad, ash, and bentley were there. it was awkward and i didn’t try talking to my mom. a few months prior i kind of ripped into her on messenger and tried to tell her that i wanted a relationship but she had to acknowledge that what she did in the past was wrong (and i told her exactly what she did wrong, and i had talked about this with my siblings and dad, who agreed) and how she could fix it and how i still wanted her in my life. and she refused to acknowledge this. i kind of broke down over it because i realized my mom was never ever ever going to change and it broke me. anyways, i saw her at the game and i didn’t talk to her and answered her questions with as much grace as i could manage. that’s all. she lives in olathe now. that guy and her broke up. toby lives with dad full time now. dad has a good job and bartends part time at top golf.
[november 2019] there was a praying mantis on my aloe plant! she laid an ootheca. it should hatch any day now :)i went to a deer aging check station. i slept in a bath tub. had some good conservations with my sister. we also had kady’s bridal shower. kaycee’s house is amazing and so is kaycee! i wish she lived closer.
[december 2019] kady got married! it was a really beautiful reception. i finished my semester with all As and Bs! entomology was really hard, but i got a B in there! most people in ento got Cs or Ds so i did really well :) we started playing left for dead again
[january 2020] kady is on her honeymoon. marissa and i watched midsommar on new years eve. i started my new classes. i am taking herpetology and paleontology and local flora. i also TA for plant phys and am doing research with dr. barta! life was pretty good. oh, i tried getting glass animals tickets, but they sold out, so i was really bummed :///
[february 2020] chiefs won the superbowl, played dragon age, went to class. i spend a lot of time with amanda and love her so much. i also got my resume together! waiting to hear back so i can start applying for jobs.
[march 2020] it’s the current month. it’s been a wild month because of the virus. i was supposed to find a place to live by may and a job this month but the virus has made that pretty much impossible. my dad has been reassuring but also not at the same time. it will all work out. i voted for bernie in the primaries. i have become extremely socialist in my views. right now, i am really into NGE and jojo’s bizarre adventure and i am listening to a lot of the kinks. jyro turned 11 this month. 11! he’s getting so old. i hope i can find a place to live but i need to find a job first. it’s a stressful time. hopefully i won’t get the virus but... we will see. also, i’ll try to keep this updated. maybe monthly!
see ya xox
lex
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The Parkland teens wield real power. Just ask Laura Ingraham and Frank Stallone.
Two minor right-wing celebrities, two half-assed apologies that feel more forced than sincere. They might have gotten away with it too, if not for those meddling kids and their pesky tweets.
In the weeks since a lone gunman murdered 17 at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., some of the more outspoken students have embraced the platform of celebrity-esque activists. They're young, they're smart, they're pushing for change in all the right ways. They exhude the sort of presence that social media tends to rally around.
SEE ALSO: March for Our Lives, Tide Pods, and the overdue evolution of how we talk about teens
That platform has unfortunately also left them somewhat exposed. We've entered into a brutal era for politics, one driven more by emotion and "us against them" convictions rather than the rational dissemination of conflicting beliefs. In this era, everyone is vulnerable to attacks, including mass shooting survivors who feel compelled to argue for more of a common-sense approach to gun control legislation. It doesn't matter that they're teens.
Except, it does matter. Teens in 2018 were raised on the internet. They speak the language of an always-online audience. So when Fox News commentators and famous-by-proximity D-listers come at these kids on their preferred platform — social media — they're asking for trouble. That's been the lesson of Easter weekend.
The case of Laura Ingraham
Laura Ingraham, the Fox News correspondent who famously threw up what sure as hell looked like a Nazi salute on stage at the 2016 Republican National Convention, stepped in it on Thursday. In a tweet, she accused Parkland survivor David Hogg of "whining" about college rejection letters he'd received.
Ingraham hasn't clarified what her intention was with that tweet, but to most readers it came off as an adult leveling a baseless attack on a teenager. Nevermind the fact that their politics don't line up.
Hogg survived one of the worst school massacres in U.S. history, and he's using that experience to call for the types of changes that could prevent others from dealing with what he is. Rather than try to engage him on the issues, Ingraham resorted to an ad hominem attack.
David Hogg Rejected By Four Colleges To Which He Applied and whines about it. (Dinged by UCLA with a 4.1 GPA...totally predictable given acceptance rates.) https://t.co/wflA4hWHXY
— Laura Ingraham (@IngrahamAngle) March 28, 2018
Hogg didn't stoop to Ingraham's level. Instead, he did what he and his fellow fellow Parkland survivors-turned-activists have been doing so effectively for the past two months: He took to the social media battlefield.
First, Hogg asked Ingraham (rhetorically, to be clear) who her top advertisers are. "Asking for a friend," he joked. Later, after he'd assembled a list himself, he shared that list with his more than 700,000 followers.
Soooo @IngrahamAngle what are your biggest advertisers ... Asking for a friend. #BoycottIngramAdverts
— David Hogg (@davidhogg111) March 29, 2018
Pick a number 1-12 contact the company next to that # Top Laura Ingraham Advertisers 1. @sleepnumber 2. @ATT 3. Nutrish 4. @Allstate & @esurance 5. @Bayer 6. @RocketMortgage Mortgage 7. @LibertyMutual 8. @Arbys 9. @TripAdvisor 10. @Nestle 11. @hulu 12. @Wayfair
— David Hogg (@davidhogg111) March 29, 2018
You know how this story goes next, because... well... we've all been here before.
Ingraham advertisers fled en masse. CBS News had the count at 11 as of Saturday night: The Atlantis Paradise Island resort, Office Depot, Jenny Craig, Hulu, Nutrish, TripAdvisor, Expedia, Wayfair, StitchFix, Nestlé, and Johnson & Johnson.
Fox News didn't issue a formal response, but Ingraham's next moves paint a clear picture. She apologized for "any upset or hurt my tweet caused him or any of the brave victims of Parkland." Then she announced during her show on Friday that she'd be taking a week-long vacation. For Easter, she said.
Speaking on CNN after the Ingraham's apology surfaced, Hogg expressed a lack of surprise at her sudden turn. He reasoned that she was facing a load of pressure as advertisers fled, so of course she apologized. But he did take issue with Ingraham's behavior in general.
"It’s disturbing to know that somebody can bully so many people and just get away with it, especially to the level that she did," he said. "No matter who somebody is, no matter how big or powerful they may seem, a bully is a bully, and it’s important that you stand up to them."
Ingraham has a history of questionable behavior toward those she disagrees with in public spaces. Like the time she told NBA star LeBron James to stay out of politics and "shut up and dribble." Or the time she criticized Jay-Z's personal history.
The case of Frank Stallone
A similar situation played out on Friday and Saturday involving Frank Stallone. The brother of Sylvester Stallone, also an outspoken Twitter D-lister, weighed in on Hogg, presumably in reference to the Ingraham boycott. His words were sharper than the Fox hosts, indulging in name-calling and vaguely suggesting that "someone" should get violent with Hogg.
Stallone later deleted the tweet, but nothing that's existed on the internet is ever truly gone. Here's a screenshot.
Image: twitter screenshot
Soon after, Stallone faced enough of a social media backlash that he set his Twitter account to "protected" not long after he posted the tweet. When he eventually re-emerged, it was with an apology.
To everyone and to David Hogg especially. I want to deeply apologize for my irresponsible words. I would never in a million years wish or promote violence to anyone anywhere on this planet. After what these kids went though I’m deeply ashamed. Please accept my apology. Frank
— Frank Stallone (@Stallone) April 1, 2018
But our Twitter history doesn't forget. If you scroll down Stallone's timeline and look at what he had to say while his account was protected, you can see how frustrated he was. You can also see what he thinks of apologies like the one he offered in a subsequent retweet.
Hi I just made my account private so I don’t have to listen to a bunch of computer hero’s telling me how tough they and I’m not. In this country you can choose your company
— Frank Stallone (@Stallone) March 31, 2018
The Laura Ingraham situation shows why you should be very careful about apologizing to the Left. Even if you were wrong. Their demands for an apology are insincere. They demand the apology because they want you to submit to them, not because they want to forgive.
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) March 31, 2018
The new battlefield of social media
It may be a stretch to suggest that Ingraham or Stallone learned any kind of lesson from their failed attempts to smear Hogg. A reckoning may be coming for Ingraham if she loses her Fox gig over this, but there's plenty of demand for right-wing bullies like her in the broader media landscape of 2018.
In the end, it doesn't matter if either of them learned from this. The lesson here is for all of us, and it amounts to a clear look at how capable these kids are.
Hogg responded to the Ingraham blow-up with a rapid call to action. He looked at the situation, recognized the bully for who she was, and asked the world: Should someone who behaves like this really have a platform? He then provided a plan for turning any frustration with Ingraham's behavior into tangible action.
The response to Stallone was even better: Hogg didn't have one. He completely ignored the vitriol-fueled attack. Unlike Ingraham, Stallone doesn't have much of a platform. Hogg seemed to recognize — rightly — that engaging would simply give the bully what he wanted.
Compare that to the way Hogg has responded to Ted Nugent, the aging rock star and Trump stan who broadly attacked all of the teen protesters, calling them "soulless" and "liars" during a recent radio appearance.
Nugent doesn't have much of a social media presence, but Hogg still found a way to address the situation. He told his followers, via a retweet, to ignore Nugent and focus their energy instead on taking in a speech by Hunter Pollack, brother to Parkland victim Meadow Pollack.
Instead of giving Ted Nugent the attention he very obviously craves, spend a few minutes and listen to Hunter Pollack’s speech about his sister & school safety. https://t.co/UWJ4zRcRyt
— Jaclyn Corin (@JaclynCorin) March 31, 2018
Hogg and the rest of his Marjory Stoneman Douglas friends — not to mention most every other teen in America — understands the ebbs and flows of social media. They know how to push back against online bullies. They know when to disengage, or deflect, or not engage at all.
And they're angry. They're fed up with having their perspectives minimized in a world they stand to inherit soon, and they're using the power of social media very effectively to make that clear.
That's the real lesson of Easter weekend: Hogg and all the kids like him are flat-out better at this stuff than any of the people or organizations coming after them. Insincere apologies and thundering silence aren't going to cut it anymore.
WATCH: These celebs brought their star power to March for Our Lives
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#_author:Adam Rosenberg#_uuid:b027fd8c-9762-3195-8d7d-a37cb97403e1#_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL#_revsp:news.mashable
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Okay, so here's the story. This is about to be a wall of text btw. TL DR included at the bottom.I'm a 27 year old male, the girl is 18. Trust me I'm aware of the age gap and I was really hesitant to enter this little thing because of it. But she's actually very mature for her age, which is why I decided to pursue it.So it's like this. I work at a convenience store and this cute girl would come in pretty often. I wouldn't say I had a crush on her but I definitely always enjoyed when she would come in, even if we only spoke on a clerk-customer basis. Over time we got to where we'd shoot the shit with each other a little more casually. I eventually decided 'ya know I think I'm gonna ask her for her number.'So back in May, she came in one night and I was feeling myself as always so I laid some very light flirting down and she responded positively. The next night, she comes in again, and somewhere in the conversation she hinted at wanting me to hit her up sometime.So a couple days later I messaged her on fb, gave her my number and it took off from there.At this point I'm letting her set the pace, because I'm wondering if she's just looking for sex or maybe something more. I can go either way.So we text-flirt for a couple days, she starts routinely coming by my store just to see me. She tells me she's had a huge crush on me for a while by now. Like the last 3-4 years.So I ask her if she'd like to go eat somewhere that next week. She was like fuck yes. But we had to reschedule because she ended getting called into work on that day. But, we still managed to get together after she got off and just talk and enjoy each other's company. We kissed that night. Then we did the same a couple days later.What I'm getting at is things we're going extremely well. Our chemistry just clicked, you know?So anyway, by this point we've been talking for like 2 1/2 weeks. Then suddenly she starts acting just a little weird. Not like avoiding me or anything, it just seemed she had things on her mind. Then comes the day of our date we had rescheduled, but by now she's sick. I tell her no problem.I know what you're thinking - that she was blowing me off. But I genuinely think she was being truthful about being sick because there was something going around at the time, a lot of people I knew all came down with it at once.Anyway, this was on a Thursday. Friday night she comes by the store but she's real brief. And then I don't hear from her all weekend. I didn't blow up her phone though bc hey, I've been led to believe she's sick.Then Monday morning she finally messages me and says she need to talk to me. She tells me I've been great but she's just not ready for a relationship bc she's too busy and that she doesn't want to try for fear I end up hating her, and that she wants us to stay cool with each other. Says she's focusing on herself basically, which, I understand, she's working two jobs, about to start nursing school.I respect her decision, even though it frustrates me greatly. Like I said I let her set the pace and it seemed she wanted something more than just sex. By that I mean she expressed appreciation that i unlike other guys wasn't just trying to get in her pants and wanted to just genuinely spend time with her. And she'd said a couple times she liked where things were going between us.So that's where I'm confused. Wtf happened to make her go from liking where things were going to suddenly being so apprehensive as to decide we needed to stop the relationship right then?Here's what I think: I think we both caught feelings at the same time,but I think she's used to dating these little insecure boys her age and suddenly here I come, this confident, mature older guy who treats her with respect and kindness, and she just caught feelings she wasn't expecting to catch and it all overwhelmed her.Does that sound like a solid theory or just my ego doing gymnastics?After that we haven't really spoken or seen each other much, except 3 times of note -, that same day she ended things, later that night she came into my store with her friend. That stood out to me because she's really awkward and I think she would've wanted to avoid coming in. There's 3 other stores she could've gone to and mine is kinda out of the way. I felt like we had a moment too.Then a few nights later at like 3 in the morning she sent me a screenshot of a pun she saw. (She hates puns, I love them)The other was like a couple weeks ago I texted her saying it'd be nice to see her, something along those lines. She never responded. ..But I'll be damned if 30 minutes into my shift that night, here she comes walking through the door, still in her work outfit to buy some milk. Right, like I'm gonna believe that you didn't get my text, you just coincidentally had to buy milk at MY store of all places.Once again, do my theories sound pretty solid? What does this all mean? Is she trying to communicate something to me? Or am I just seeing what I want to see? Any insights here?TL;DR - girl and I hit it off really well, she suddenly told me she's too busy and not ready for a relationship, we stopped talking mostly but I feel like she's having a hard time resisting her interest in me. via /r/dating_advice
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