#but i lowkey don't want to do it. but i do think i'll regret not doing it but i also think i'll regret not doing the work placement
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neverendingford · 1 month ago
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#tag talk#reasons I skedaddled from the relationship a a week after joining:#I only liked one out of two. I would have totally been friends with the one I liked. just not the other one. and you can't pick just one#the annoying one called sex “the horny” and I wanted to nope the hell out of there#I tried to build emotional distance by talking about how I was leaving at the end of the year and got told "#got told 'I'll still care about you even after you're gone' which like...#I react so so poorly to people who care so much they overstep my emotional boundaries#that's like. lowkey a trigger for me. I showed off my scars and they reacted with sympathy.#sympathy over my sick-ass scars that I'm proud of. I was like 'aren't these cool?' and they reacted with sympathy. no thanks#once again.. I like men. it was an experiment but I'm done. I wanted to see what it was like and I got my taste#they go on the list of people I've had sex with only once. because I usually do not go back for a second time with people#there was a chance I could have gotten one of them to play aoe with me that's the only potential benefit I could have gotten from them#otherwise nothing I wanted. they weren't good hiking pals. not good skating buddies. lame taste in movies.#the annoying one talked about wanting to be a sugar mommy which I should have seen as another un-vibe data point#cause I don't vibe with overly generous caring people either#tbh I'd rather be hated than simped over. I can't stand cloying overbearing kindness#people like that so often act as if their kindness entitles them to you and I just.. ugh. emotional blockages in place#it switched me back to L and now I'm he him pronouns again#and lowkey I think when we move I'm gonna cut our hair. I miss it short. we made a really cute guy.#being called miss and ma'am is fine and all but damn I miss being a cute boy#anyway. my life continues to be tumultuous and it's my own damn fault. I regret nothing but I will learn from this experience
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born-to-lose · 3 months ago
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I love being the always single person in my family, mad respect to my sister for constantly dating guys for the last 8 years, I would have shot myself
#whenever my mom asks if i have love news of my own while we're talking about my sister's newest catch and i say no#i hope she doesn't feel pity because like. this is the life that i choose. my sister's ex boyfriends were enough for ME even#and i only met a handful of them personally but heard more than enough shit about them#i just always think i'm only flirting with some guys only to never talk to them again or ghost them because it's fun#fat girl who's always been seen as ugly by other people gets to flirt with good looking people is the ultimate ego boost arc#if i ever date anyone seriously again it better be true love and end in kids and marriage until death or i'll live as a hermit#until that happens tho...... life is a party i don't wanna miss a thing break some men's heart get revenge yolo etc etc#also the thought of actively dating freaks me out. if i meet someone and we tolerate each other long term that's good#but dating apps or going on dates with several people and deciding who's the best like on the bachelorette?? death first#plus i lowkey don't like men as a concept. at least the type i've dated. i guess you could say my last ex traumatized me hahaha 👍🏻 (🔨🔨)#i think i'm too young to be in a committed relationship anyway. or even to seek getting into one. there are much more important things rn#i know former classmates my age are having kids or getting married but idgaf the one who got engaged last year has been with him for 7 year#which is a decent time tbh you change quite a bit during that time and if it feels right why not#but i can't wrap my head around searching for a relationship when you don't even have a stable job and know what else you want in life#rambling again sorryyyy but yeah proud single here and i'm not saying this out of spite because i genuinely enjoy it#all relationships i've been in were so draining (tbf they were long distance too) and got me at rock bottom and had me filled with regret#also these men can be so controlling and jealous when you just wanna go out with friends while they do whatever they want too#but when you say you don't want a jealous partner they think that's a free pass for them to cheat like what the actual fuck#do you see the difference between being unnecessarily jealous when you hang out with friends and being rightfully jealous when they cheat??#at this point idk what to say. i'm very entertained by my friends' dating journeys but that couldn't be me#all the gossip i provide for them is which people i flirted with for the ego and who i ghosted and who ghosted me#mel talks
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mariemariemaria · 11 months ago
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live ur life w no regrets except how tf am I meant to know what a regret will be 😭 I don't think it's on me as a 22 two year old to make decisions to appease my forty year old self who hates her life and wants to blame her younger self for her misery. Maybe I should just do what I feel is right for me rn
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just-some-random-blogger · 2 years ago
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Hey can I ask for a smutish fluffish matt smith fic where where they are filming their sex scene but she accidentally says Matt instead of Daemon and the directors like “not again 😒 start from the top”
I'm Into It
Matt Smith x Actress!Reader (lowkey Daemon x Reader lol)
Summary: You were finally getting to live out your fantasies of having Matt around you in that pretty blonde wig, but at what cost?
Word Count: >600
Warnings: fem!reader, established relationship, they be filming a sex scene for hotd, crackfic, fluff, typos, etc.
A/N: Lol this was so much fun to write it's so meta i love it. I hope you like it nonnie <3 and since technically this is daemon related imma tag yallz @pinksirensong @deniixlovezelda @targaryenmoony also im tagging @pearlstiare since this lovely dear seemed to enjoy my matt smith fic lol hehe i made another matt fic lol "Dark Kiss"
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I was pressed against the wall, a blade to my neck, an arm pressed by my ribcage, pushing me flush against the wall.
I heaved, "do it," I spoke as the blade was pressed closer to my chin, "slit my throat," I chortled, "and then you'll realize just how foolish that decision was after you've spilt my blood."
"Demented hag," Daemon quips, pressing his arm deeper into me.
I lean into him, the blade on my neck presses deeper. I brush my nose against his, "hush, prince," I lick his lips, "we both know you don't think that."
Daemon throws his blade to the side and flips me over, pressing my chest and face roughly against the wall, one arm pushed behind my back. He breathes jaggedly against my neck, "tell me where you hid it."
"Make me," I huff, "you know how," I chuckle, "you know what I want from you."
I wince when he shoves me. I break into another chuckle, "I'll take it however you want to give it, pretty boy."
"Last chance," he warns, "while I'm being nice."
I hum, "I don't want you to be nice. I want you to ruin me."
I smile when he does not reply. I strain my neck trying to look back at him, "dragon lost his fire?"
All at once, I am released and turn back to deviously eye the prince. I bite my lip when he begins to undo his breeches, "you will regret it if you do not obey me."
My heart jumps to my throat at his words. I fall against the wall as he steps forward. I reach out to him as he bunches my skirt up.
I lean against his forehead and sigh when he places his hands on my hips. I raise my leg up to his side and pull him with me as I shift back. I steal a kiss from him and nip at his lower lip when he evades me. When he takes his hand underneath my thigh, I instinctively call out his name.
That was my mistake.
Instead of calling Daemon, I say Matt.
Matt pulls his head back upon hearing his name. He breaks into an airy chuckle, "baby," he coos, leaning into me, hiding his face in the crook of my neck, pecking the area quickly.
My eyes go wide and I slap my hand on my mouth, looking out to the director and the rest of the crew when I realize my mistake.
Matt pulls away from me, laughing, releasing his hold on my leg to look past the camera. He turns back to me, as I profusely begin to apologize under my breath. He is in a fit of giggles when he seals me into a tight embrace, kissing my shoulder affectionately.
"I am so sorry," I mutter in a guilty tone as I am lifted off my feet by the laughing Matt.
"I'm not," he says, looking out to the camera. He points, "you caught that, right?" He giggles, "I'm going to need a copy of all of these outtakes."
I feel blood rise up my neck, "Matthew, please."
"What?" he turns to me, "my male ego is thriving, lovie. What is this, the tenth time?"
"No!" I call, "... I think only five."
There is a chorus of laughs; someone corrects me by saying it's the seventh.
Matt kisses me cheek, "I'm proud of you, babe."
"Matt, please," the director calls, "stop being distracting."
The entire set breaks into a fit of laughs. I burn with embarrassment, wanting nothing but to be swallowed by the ground, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I turn to Matt and grab his face, "Daemon. Daemon. Daemon."
Matt grins, "Matt. Matt. Matt."
"Stop!" I warn, pulling away from him as I repeat my mantra, "Daemon, Daemon, Daemon."
"Rouge Prince. Dashingly handsome," Matt rubs his nose. He looks at the director, "from the top then?" He chuckles under his breath, "that's what she said."
"Stop!" I whine.
"Oh, alright," he smirks, turning to me, "do me a favor and mess up again. For me?"
"Stop!" I call out the same time as the director.
lol you wanna read another matt smith fic?
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mattsfavouritewhore · 17 days ago
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Just Go - Chris Sturniolo
A/N: I heard you guys and i'm working on a part 2 for why her!! Thank you so so much for the support and i'll do the best i can! If you have any suggestions whatsoever don't be afraid to send them through x
Warnings: Stalking, Forceful actions (not from chris), angst, flirting, mentions of sex
Summary: When Chris saving you from a perv turns into you spending the night with him.
You regretted wearing a tiny red dress. What you thought would be a night of fun, flirting and potentially going home with a hot guy turned into you trying to push this man away from you. He'd been following you all night, and once you left your friends to go to the bathroom he trapped you between the wall and tried to force himself on you. Moving your head, pushing him away and telling him to fuck off did nothing but push his need for you even further.
Scanning the hallway, no one was around.. Your hearts drumming in your ears, praying for someone to just walk around the corner and sees your struggling. "I don't want to fuck you dude! go away!" One last push and yet all he did was smirk at you, "thats why i want you." He was obviously under the influence but that didn't excuse his actions. "Hey!" Your head shoots to the direction to the voice... one you recognised very well. "She said fuck off didn't she?!" Chris. Thank Fuck.
The guy scoffs, "This your girl? she was begging for it." Chris walks closer "Yeah it doesn't sound like it. Get off her." He was furious, something you'd never seen before.. almost protective? or maybe he was jealous, you couldn't tell. The guy backs off as he watches Chris clench his fists "My bad man, she just looks so edible in that dress" You physically cringe at his comment before watching him walk off. "I think it's time for you to go home." Chris was still mad but not at you. "Thank you so much, you really did just save me."
His hand wraps around your waist possessively "You're not leaving my site." All you can do is nod.. not expecting him to do something like that. Your friendship with Chris has always been friendly, although you've always wanted more from him you never thought he'd feel that way about you. As you guys make your way back to your friends, his hand doesn't leave your waist... it was lowkey turning you on. "Chris i want to stay for a little bit longer." You didn't think he'd allow that.. and deep down you were praying he'd just take you home "Fine, but only for a little bit and you're sitting with me." You nod and sit next to him.
I think it was obvious when you were ready to go home because Chris's hand slowly shuffled to your thigh caressing it a bit, you'd never seen such a soft side from him before and you loved it, you moved your head to his shoulder to which he quickly turned around "It's time to go."
You and Chris waited out the front for an Uber (because he can't drive.) "Thanks for getting me an Uber" "Getting you an Uber? You're coming home with me." You didn't expect Chris to say that. "Why? Why would I come home with you?" He rolls his eyes obviously still a bit upset about the earlier interaction, "I said I wasn't leaving you out of my site."
You get to the triplets house. The car ride was quiet, all you could think about was Chris's protectiveness over you, trying not to overthink it as something more than him being a good friend. "Go take a shower and I'll leave some clothes out" He was now a bit more calm and sincere towards you. All you did was nod, the memories of the night flooding through you as you step in to the shower, You were almost stolen of a hidden innocence, no one knew you were still a virgin but that could've all changed tonight and the thought of that made you shake.
Calming yourself down you step out of the shower, Chris had left clothes on the counter and you put them on slowly walking out, Chris looks up and sees you in all sorts of shock and worry. "Hey." He quickly walks up to you. "You're here with me now, it's okay, he'll never touch you again." Tears swell your eyes as he pulls you in for a hug. "You're staying with me tonight. I need to know you're safe."
He moves you to his bed as he cuddles against you, "Chris.. can i tell you something?" He moves strands of hair out of your face before caressing you cheek for a moment before pulling away, "Of course, you can tell me anything." You sigh. "I'm still a virgin." He smiled softly at you "That's cute. Word of advice, lose it when you're ready. Don't push it with a person you don't like." You smiled back "Yeah i kinda already have someone in mind" His smile falters for a second but you pretend you didn't see it. Maybe his cheeks just hurt from smiling so much.. "Who?" him. "Just someone from work."
He nods, "We should go to sleep now, its late" You didn't realise how tired you were until he said that "okay" You cuddled a bit closer to him, not realising how close you guys really were.
It's quiet for a while but right before you drift off to sleep he says something. "I wish you want me the way i want you."
A/N: Okay depending on how you guys like this one i might have to make multiple parts. I need to start writing short reads other wise i'm gonna lose track but lmk what you guys think!!
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hencheri · 2 months ago
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Toxic and mean but oh so caring boyfriend renjun who loves to see reader cry (maybe he's abusive) but when one day, reader's asking for a break up, he's the one begging on his knees "no no, baby, why do you wanna leave?" (Forced kissing, dubcon, lowkey mean and cocky renjun with a breeding kink)
- Yaz
18+. mdni.
warnings: dubcon, toxic relationship, manipulation, implied physical abuse.
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when you suggest a break up, eyes avoiding his as your teeth nibble on your bottom lip, renjun's heart drops down.
fuck, that's not what he wanted. that's not how it's supposed to go. a break up, seriously? who would think of such a ridiculous thing? despite your numerous fights, he never thought of that. not once. he wouldn't even consider it.
he sees the hesitance in your gaze, as if scared of the consequences it would have, but still not saying otherwise.
he knows you don't want this either, you can't.
"no, what- are you, are you crazy?" renjun stresses out, pulling his brows together. he grabs your bicep, attempting to bring you back against him, but you let out a hiss of pain.
"ouch! let go!"
he doesn't understand your sudden outburst until he removes his hand from around your arm, looking down to see the deep bruise decorating your skin.
is this why you're leaving? for this little thing? it was nothing.
his expression changes, eyebrows frowned in worry and the corners of his mouth tugged downward. he notices your hand hovering over the door knob and out of desperation, he falls down to his knees.
the look of surprise on your face shows that you weren't expecting him to do this.
"no, no, no, don't-" he takes your wrist in his hand, quickly pulling it away from the knob. he lays your hand in his palm, squeezing it. "baby, listen. you can't do this," he cries, "you can't do this to me."
it's like his entire personality just shifted, going from frustrated to sad in a second, but his true nature is still there. the one where he's manipulative and toxic.
he knows oh so well what are your weak points and where to hit exactly. your sweet heart just can't handle watching him break down in front of you.
"why would you leave me? that- that's nonsense..." renjun tells you, glossy eyes staring up at you. he caresses your hand, gently swiping his thumb over it. "i love you, and you love me," he affirms, "let's... let's figure this out, okay?"
when you don't give an answer, just looking to the side instead, he gets up, slowly bringing your hips flush to his. you finally look into his eyes, unsure of what to do or think.
"what do you think, baby? we shouldn't do anything we might regret... right?"
he approaches his lips to yours, but you back away.
"i don't know, junnie..." you mumble.
"come on," he sighs. "just let me make it up to you. i'll show you how much i love you."
renjun cups your chin, forcefully pressing his lips to yours. you whine, pushing his chest, but he doesn't move or stop. when you shake your head he simply follows it, chasing your lips.
your eyes are scrunched shut, trying to find some satisfaction in this exchange. renjun very much does, feeling the familiar taste of your lipgloss, purposefully smacking his lips with yours to have them coated in spit.
he slightly grinds on you, hand leaving your chin to grab your thighs, making you feel the growing bulge in his pants. you shudder at the sensation, already feeling lightheaded.
you detach your mouth from his, chest heaving up and down rapidly, catching your breath.
"i can tell you don't wanna leave me, baby," renjun groans, looking at you like he knows every little thing about you — and he quite literally does. he could never be wrong. "you just can't live without me... too dumb for that," he coos in your ear.
you're speechless. what can you even say to that? you didn't even believe in yourself when you told him to end the relationship.
you don't complain either when he bullies himself between your walls, leaving kisses all over your neck like he really means it — like he really loves you.
and surely he does in some type of way.
you rapidly get used to him and his size, softly moaning into renjun's ear to his pleasure. hearing you is his favourite thing, it's how he knows you could never get rid of him, you just wouldn't be able to because he's the only one that can make you feel like this.
"hear that, baby?" he says in a low tone, his hot breath fanning across your face, "your pussy loves me. it was made for my cock." renjun's lewd words make you cringe a little, but the squelching noises that your cunt makes each time he thrusts into you are undeniable. you were made for him.
he releases himself into you without asking — but there's no question to ask, you're his and he's yours, he can do whatever he wants and you'll stay no matter what.
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sebscore · 2 years ago
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I love your leclerc a sister stories. Do you think you could do something possibly were maybe the reader has diabeties or something similar and she is not very well at the race weekend so her brothers have to look after her, or something along these lines. Thank you
HIGH FEVER | CHARLES LECLERC
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pairings: charles leclerc x sister!reader 
warnings: fever. reader is sick and feels weak. I based this off my own old high school, so if it seems weird- ignore it pls. little leclerc misses her big brother. 
author's note: i know it's not exactly what you asked for, but charles comfort is the premise so I hope you like it anyway <3 thank you for loving the stories, darling! 
• • • • • • •
Charles and Joris were sitting in front of the computer, going over the pictures the photographer had taken of his friend. ''I really like this one.'' The Ferrari driver pointed out a specific photo. 
''You want it like this or in black and white?'' Joris asked, his hand ready on the computer mouse to potentially change the filter. 
''In color is good.'' Charles confirmed. 
Their search was interrupted when the ringtone of Charles' phone started playing, making both of them flinch at the sudden sound. ''Oh, it's my mum- excuse me.'' He got up from his chair and walked into the next room for a bit more privacy. 
''Hello, ça va?'' Charles greeted his mother. 
''Hi, honey,'' his mother sighed, ''would you be able to pick your sister up from school right now? She's not well and I'm stuck at work.'' 
Charles frowned listening to her. ''Uh, yeah, I can pick her up. Is she okay, though?'' He asked her, concerned about his younger sibling. 
''They think she has a fever- it was during P.E. that they noticed something was wrong.'' His mother sounded worried on the other side of the phone, making him more worried as well. 
He walked back into the living room, grabbing his coat. ''I'm leaving now, okay? I'll call you when I've picked her up.'' Charles assured her. 
''Thank you, honey,'' Pascale seemed more relieved knowing her son was on his way, ''I'll come home as soon as I can, promise.'' 
''Great, bye bye!'' Charles hung up the phone and turned towards Joris. ''Sorry mate, I have to pick up my sister and take her home, but I'll text you and we'll continue later.'' He told his friend, walking to the hallway to put on his shoes. 
''It's okay, I hope she's alright.'' Joris brushed it off, he knows how much his sister means to him. 
Charles smiled. ''Again, sorry mate! See you!'' The driver waved one last time and he was out the door, getting to his car as quickly as possible. Charles lowkey regretted taking his custom Ferrari car as he knew it would catch people's attention and he didn't want his sister feeling uncomfortable with all the eyes on them, especially if she was sick. 
The drive from Joris' apartment to Y/N's school was barely 5 minutes, so Charles quickly pulled up to the building. It momentarily brought him back to his own times as a student, but quickly brushed them off. He was there for his sister, not for his own nostalgia. 
He walked up to the entrance door and rang the bell, not able to just walk into the building. He didn't have to wait long as the buzzer went off a few seconds after, allowing him to enter. 
The secretary seemed surprised to see the man instead of the girl's mother,  but she showed him where he could wait while she called the teacher that would bring his sister. Charles patiently waited, texting his mother that he had arrived at her school. 
''Mr. Leclerc?'' He looked up from his phone, seeing a teacher standing in the doorway. 
''Yes?'' 
The man fully opened the door and the young girl walked into the waiting area, not looking well whatsoever. Charles immediately stood up from his chair and strutted over to her, cupping her cheeks. ''Ça va, chérie?'' 
Y/N shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes at the sight of her older brother. ''I don't feel good.'' Her words came out small, making Charles wrap his arms around her for comfort. 
''It's okay, it's okay.'' He mumbled into her hair, trying to console her. 
The teacher next to them scratched his voice.''Here's her bag,'' he handed it over to Charles, ''rest well and I hope you feel better soon, Y/N.'' He glanced at the girl in her brother's arms, who tried her best to force a smile and mumbled a small ''Thank you.'' 
''Come on.'' Charles grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the entrance door again, bidding goodbye to the teacher and secretary.
He helped his sister get in his car and even buckled up her seatbelt. Charles drove out of the school's parking lot and they were on their way home. ''What happened?'' He asked her. 
''I don't know, suddenly I felt very dizzy and sick during P.E. and my teacher said that my head felt very warm, and then they called mum, and then they said that it's better if I went home.'' She explained the events of the day, leaning her head against the seat. 
Charles nodded as he listened to her words. ''It's probably a fever,'' he put his hand on her forehead, ''yeah, rest for a few days and then you'll feel better.'' 
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''Yeah, she's lying down now… she looks very tired… yes, it's a fever, I checked her temperature… I'll make her something… okay, I'll do that… I'll tell her… bye, mum… bye bye!'' Charles hung up the phone and joined his sister on the couch. 
''Mum will be here soon, she just has a few more clients left.'' He told her, caressing her hair. Y/N timidly nodded, almost having no energy to form a coherent reply. ''Are you feeling a bit better?'' 
She shrugged her shoulders. ''I don't know, I feel the same.'' 
''You want some soup or something?'' He asked her, thinking of what he could cook for her. 
''Yeah, soup is good.'' Charles was about to stand up, but the arm of his sister stopped him from getting up from the couch. He gave her a confused look. ''What?'' 
''Don't leave yet, Charlie.'' She mumbled, her voice coming out very small. 
Her brother chuckled, finding it cute. ''I'm just going to the kitchen, I'll be right back.'' 
''But once mum gets here, you're leaving again and I won't see you for weeks.'' Y/N argued, not making eye-contact with him. 
Charles frowned this time, the feeling of guilt creeping up on him. ''What do you mean?'' 
''Sometimes I don't see you for a few weeks, because of racing and I understand that, it's your job,'' she explained, ''but even when you're back home, I almost never see you. You're either training, with your girlfriend, with your friends or you're doing some stupid social media things. They always get to see you when you're not racing, I get the 5 minute visit when you're passing through.'' 
He watches his sister with sad eyes, knowing that she was right and that he hadn't been spending as much time with her as he could. ''I'm sorry that I haven't been the best brother, I'll come over more, okay? I didn't realize that we haven't spent that much time together lately.'' 
''It's okay, I'm not angry at you,'' Y/N smiled at him, ''I just get sad when I see you're in Monaco on your Insta or something, and we haven't hung out.'' 
''We'll go do something after the next race, just you and me.'' Charles promised her, giving her a hug which she happily reciprocated. ''Okay, that's nice.'' 
''Can you make my soup now? I'm waiting.'' The moodswing amused him, her sentimentality turning into impatience. 
Charles stood up from the couch and saluted her like a soldier. ''Yes, chef!''
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lixiektty · 2 years ago
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꒰ঌ cupid's cams : yang jeongin ໒꒱ — prev ▸ next
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word count: 5.4k (i just kept writing i am so sorry), warnings/kinks: dom camboy!jeongin, sub!reader, language, lingerie, lubed up jeongin (holy shit), male maturation, oral (m. receiving), face fucking, praise, a little degradation and objectification, they're both hella oblivious of the other's feelings, jeongin's lowkey a perv, mentions of sex but don't fuck... yet, pls feel free to let me know if i missed anything!!
author's note: apologies for this being a little late, i promise i'm gonna figure out a good writing/posting schedule so i'm not leaving you all thirsty for more. i'm trying and working on a lot right now, trust! for now, enjoy cupid's cam and march madness starting next month!!!!
taglist: @hyynee, @enha-cafe, @xiaoderrrr, @lethallyprotected
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ cupid's cams masterlist
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jeongin had intended to keep his real job a secret. after seeing you so helpless trying to find a well-paying job, he couldn't resist and felt like he really needed to help.
you guys sat on the couch, legs draped over his lap—not that he minded much anyways, he enjoyed the comfort. you were scrolling through your for you page, giggling and turning your phone every few scrolls to show jeongin the tiktoks you came across.
he loved your smile. it kind of ruined him that he started to feel a way about you this past year, you were his thoughts when streaming—wishing he were speaking to you, and when doing his more explicit streams he'd think of you as well. something he regretted, but honestly just couldn't stop doing. you were in his head constantly.
"y/n," he called.
you hum in response, but your eyes don't leave your phone. he taps your calf that finally gets your attention.
"put your phone down, i need to talk to you," jeongin says. he sounded serious, so you did as told and sat up straight and taking your legs off of him to sit criss-cross. "what's up?"
"i... fuck," he curses, not knowing how to even start, "i have a job that i think could really help you, but i need your trust."
"of course, you can trust me jeongin," you say, smiling his direction, "but, tell me now. you're freaking me the hell out."
jeongin chuckled and leaned forward a bit, "okay, okay. there's a site where you can stream for people and get paid for talking to them and do things they ask."
you nod slowly. you didn't know where this was about to go.
"it can... lead to other things, and those other things really bring in the cash," he announces, which catches your interest though, what other things? "i don't get all my cash from the cafe. i do these streams near a every other day basis."
your mind began to really think of any of the conclusions to the 'other things' jeongin was talking about, and your mind only went to one thing. "you're.."
"i jerk off for thousands to see and get paid," he interpreted before you could've even asked the same thing he had just said, "now you don't have to, but if you're looking for a good paycheck you can help me out with my upcoming stream and i'll split the tips."
"you want me to have sex with you... on camera?" you ask.
god just the thought of that. jeongin already had an amazing build, from everything you've seen, and to see him like that—bare for you. fuck. your stomach filled with slight flutters and it was hard to not shuffle a bit.
"not exactly," jeongin finally answered. this causing you to let out a sigh of relief, not only because being naked for everyone on the internet to see worried you a bit but you didn't know if you could fuck your best friend for the first time while everyone was watching either, "you don't have to be naked if you don't want to, something simple like sucking me off will do good. i'll get you a mask to cover your eyes."
it didn't sound too bad. it's money, a possible new job, jeongin, and a chance to really get closer to your best friend like you've thought about once before.
"okay," you let out, jeongin's head snapping your way with shock read on his face, "okay, i'll do it."
"seriously?" he asked.
"yeah, what could go wrong?" exactly.
jeongin nodded and fixed his posture, not sure how to move forward, "okay, cool. how about tomorrow? i like doing two or three streams a week and i've only done one."
tomorrow? so soon, too soon. things could change so quick within 24 hours. you weren't gonna lie— it began to freak you out a bit.
so when you were waiting in the hall, outside the door of jeongin's apartment the next day, you couldn't think straight. you stood there patiently but wondered what could be taking so long.
eventually, you heard the sound of the locks being turned, door opening and revealing the handsome face of your best friend. his smile shines, dimples clear as day. you knew you probably looked flustered, jeongin reading your expression oh so clearly.
"come on in, bestie," he says, moving to the side to give you enough room to walk in, "how you feeling?" jeongin asked after closing the door.
you couldn't express in words how much you were feeling. it was a mix of excitement, anxiety than ran through your veins, and... possible feelings? no. you had been in your head since you went home last night and couldn't stop letting your thoughts overwhelm you.
"i'm..." you start, trying to collect your thoughts but only being met with fear, "okay, honestly i'm freaking out."
jeongin farrowed his brows, walking over to the kitchen to grab you some water, "why so?" he asks.
"it's... a lot," you say.
"we don't have to, you still have time to back out... even though i brought you gifts~" he says in a singsong like tone, handing you a bottle of water with a sly smirk on his face as he walks into the hall towards his room.
you follow him hesitantly, stopping at the door when you saw a fancy bag from the boutique across town. did he really go all this way... for me?
"come, look," he said, motioning you over.
you could only wonder what else was in that bag besides the mask he promised you. it was bigger as if something else was in there, so what possibly could it be? you walked into his room, noticing the purple lights bouncing off the walls, large set up on the right side of his room.
"maybe seeing these will make you feel better," jeongin announces, waiting very patiently for you to look in the bag. he didn't care how much he spent on something, as long as it was for you.
you reach in with anticipation, feeling a box. you pull it out and take the ribbon of the bougee packaging. when you open it, an elegant, white, lacey mask sat in it.
"what do you think?" jeongin asked.
you looked up and smiled at him, "love it, thank you," you reply while pulling him into a hug, "why such a big bag for this small ass box though?" you ask once you're out of his embrace.
"look inside," he says.
you look at him questionably, sitting the box on the bed and reaching back inside only to find some more bundled up white lace. the fabric untwined the further it was taken from the bag.
lingere. he bought lingere.
"what's... this?" you ask. it was so obvious what it was, you knew this. but playing dumb was the only thing you could think of doing to really get this picture through your skull.
"wanna get paid somehow, don't you? how you work your mouth helps but showing at least a little something will get you a whole lot more," jeongin admits. he also just couldn't help himself when he saw it, matching your mask perfectly, knowing you'd look absolutely stunning.
when buying it, he could only think about fucking you in it— jerking off the minute he got into his car. he thanked you for suggesting tinted windows when he first got it. the thought of you was all he needed to get hard for the show, already uncomfortably hard in his pants while being in your presence.
"i'm only trusting you 'cause this is what you're good at... somehow," you said with a suspicious look on your face that made jeongin chuckle.
you examined the piece of lingerie, the lacy parts barely covering your boobs and stomach, small enough to fit you tight and show off your body just as jeongin wanted.
"now, if at any point you get uncomfortable or just not feeling it anymore, tap me three times okay?" jeongin asked, serious tone in his voice that caused your head to turn.
"okay," you nod.
"try it," he said, turning your body fully by your shoulder and moving closer until the gap between you two was almost closed.
jeongin brings your hand up to his chest, looking down at you and waiting for you to move. you were so caught in moment, the only you could do was look right back at him—sinking into his gaze. once you regain your consciousness, you lift your fingers one, two, three times to pat his chest gently.
"good," he says, smile playing along his face again, "now go get changed, 10 minutes 'til showtime."
he walks away from you, hand falling from his chest and causing you to miss the warmth of his body almost touching yours.
instead of standing there— like an idiot, you thought, you rush to the bathroom, stripping from your clothes entirely until you were left bare in his bathroom. he was right in the next room, you could tell him fuck the stream and beg for what you really wanted. he'd be freaked out though, he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the white fabric hugged your body, nipples so exposed you could see them hardening through. you didn't know what to think, you had never seen yourself like this... and maybe this would alter something within jeongin.
walking out with nothing but lingerie on with all goodies exposed, clothes in hand, it was almost embarrassing to you. jeongin's eyes met your figure the minute you walked back in, in a different set of clothing.
"woah, y/n you look... hot," he admits, scanning you from head to toe.
his gaze intimidated you a bit, sharp eyes looking at you hungrily.
"it's not too much?" you ask, walking closer towards him.
"it's more than i'd prefer," he shrugs, fingers grazing the strap on your shoulder.
you felt small standing in front of him, knees almost buckling under you, "what would you prefer me to wear instead?" you asked, shyly.
"nothing," jeongin replied, throwing his shirt off and smirking as he walked to his chair when he noticed your reaction to his insane structure that you were familiar with seeing before—now, seeing him like this sent a rush straight to your core.
you sat down on the bed, watching jeongin's focused face behind the monitor. he was in the middle of getting his stream set up, making sure to announce it on all his 2nd accounts.
"countdown is starting, you sure you're in all the way?" jeongin asked before the 15 second countdown ended.
"positive," you reassure, sending a thumbs up his way.
he smiles, nodding and sitting back while waiting for the stream to start. you couldn't think of anything else to look at but him, he was so admiring, charm basically shining right through him.
you hear a sound, signaling that the stream has started. jeongin greets them, thanking them for joining him tonight, "the strip goal is sent at 200 tonight, i know you guys could get there and... i have a surprise for you all later on in the show."
the surprise in question, being you. the more you thought about it the more you let yourself feel less stressed about it all, it was really just a paycheck. the only thing you worried about was how this would alter yours and jeongin's realationship. if it even would, you didn't know.
"for now just focus on me," jeongin says, his tone so seductive that your thighs squeeze shut.
jeongin leans over to grab a bottle, containing lube you assumed, pouring the liquid into his palm. he lubes his torso up as if he was apply lotion, both hands shiny and slick running down his body. he'd brush past his nipples every once in a while, groaning by instinct.
the tip jar sound went off, jeongin giggling when he reads a certain comment begging for him to pull his cock out already, "let's get to 200 and i'll show you what i know you guys want to see."
he communicated with his watchers so well, knew what to do to get the money, satisfy each viewer and himself all at once. really, in his mind, he was putting on this show for you. the colored lights shined off his body, illuminating him in such a way.
you really wanted to get up right now and say, "fuck it," forcing his pants down and stuffing your mouth. all your thoughts now were so lewd, especially compared to how you were thinking just seconds ago.
his hands slid down his torso gently, the sound of the lude being moved around clear to your ears. you felt almost as eager as his viewers, wanting him to hurry up and get on with it so you could see his cock that so desperately needed to be touched.
the sound of the tip jar went wild, jeongin turning it off due to the loud sound. he smirked seeing the overflowing tips he received, going way past his goal, "eager, are we?" he asked giggling, sex to my fucking ears, you thought.
jeongin stood up, and you knew once his pants were down you would no longer have to imagine what his pretty cock looks like. he slowly brought down his sweats, stopping when they were right under balls, tip red and leaking, veins protruding along the shaft.
your eyes were locked on his grip, fist full of his manhood, and with his face not being shown on the screen as he stood, he was looking at you as he slowly worked himself up. a soft groan left his pretty lips, eyes glued to your form, moving his fist up and down before sitting back down. he gets ahold of the lube again, applying one line against his shaft before putting the bottle down and once again fucking his fist.
you on the other hand, sat on the bed with an ache forming at the pit of your stomach. each movement forward would apply pressure to your clit, craving any type of friction whatsoever while this view was in front of you.
jeongin tried to pretend he wasn't as close as he really was, ready to cum the minute he laid eyes on you in the damn lingerie. the lewd sounds made by him caused you to clench your thighs tighter and tighter.
"ah— so fuckin' good," jeongin mumbled, eyes closed, adam's apple moving with each noise he let out. his pace in thrusts increased along with his beautiful moans that filled the atmosphere.
you couldn't help but grip at the bedsheets. you were so desperate at this point, it was fucking with your head. to have him fuck you relentlessly is all you could ever imagine now until it happened.
jeongin had never seemed the type to do something such as camming. you never thought about him sexually in the first place, he was always just too cute. even with all the girlfriends he's had, you couldn't imagine him actually fucking anybody.
this was a completely different side of jeongin that surprised you, in the best way possible. his free hand laid on his chest, nipple between his fingers— the veins in his hands were so damn noticable, his breath was speeding up, back arching, the way his bicep curved and moved with each friction that was made, the view was just too much you had to look away.
jeongin noticed, not happy with your response. he began making little 'mmhs' and 'ahhs' to grab your attention. you tried to ignore his doings, only pissing him off a bit more. your ears were hot, just as hot as your cheeks due to the embarrassment you were feeling at the moment.
"this cock's all for you," jeongin coos causing you to pull up your head, snapping it his direction. he was looking at the monitor but it felt like his words were meant for you. he turned his head, heavy lidded eyes looking at you and repeating, "all for you."
if he kept this up you were going to fall. hard. so hard that you didn't know if you'd be able to hide it for long. his hips rolled as he fucked his fist, moans only getting louder and higher with time.
"so fucking close," he whimpered.
your head spun like crazy. it was like he already had control over you when doing such little, not even touching you—yet you were a wet mess, freezing while sitting on this bed.
jeongin's brain was turning to mush, he knew soon he'd be able to cum in your mouth or at least on your face but for now, he'd have to wait for the sake of the stream—knowing he gains more when teases, and his followers knows he loves to tease.
"holy fuck—" jeongin arched his back off of his chair, edging himself before you could come on screen. his pretty lubed up cock fell against his stomach, the prettiest whimpers leaving his mouth, hands gripping onto the chair. who would've thought this is what your best friend was up to in his free time?
jeongin was busy catching his breath, looking over at you with a smirk. his attention was back to the chat, reading all their praises.
"i have a guest, for the first time ever. she's gonna help me out today," he announces, you took that as your cue and put on the eye mask.
your anxiety peeked once you were found on the screen. the chat exploded seeing you in the lingerie, body absolutely perfect to all the pervs watching. you wave slightly, too afraid to even say anything.
"don't be shy. they're nice," jeongin reassured.
you get on your knees, right beside the chair, "hi everyone," you say. everyone seemed to like you already.
jeongin seemed to notice your shaky voice though, and how your eyes looked everywhere but at him or the screen.
"this is her first time camming so she's a bit shy, but i know you'll do good angel," he says, petting your head softly and running his fingers through your hair.
jeongin turned until you were right between his legs, painfully hard cock before your eyes. all you could do was look up at jeongin and wait for his signal. his big hands create a makeshift ponytail. you were quick to grab ahold of his cock, sensitive to the touch and causing jeongin to gasp.
finally, you built up the courage to close your mouth around the head, slowly taking more of him in until your throat closed around him— gagging.
"careful angel, take your time," jeongin says, pulling your head up gently.
you two created a gentle rhythm, bobbing your head, every vein running along your tongue. it was really happening, your first time ever being intimate with your best friend and so many people were watching it happen. jeongin's pretty moans filled the room once again, sending more shocks throughout your body.
"they said you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth," jeongin comments, "does it make you feel better knowing they like you?" he asks.
you pull him out of your mouth and nod, giving him a soft smile, "yeah."
"good, you're doing so good." he praises. just another thing for you to imagine when thinking about fucking him.
you formed a ball of spit on your tongue before letting it drip onto his tip, a soft sigh leaving his mouth at the sight and feeling. your tongue laid flat against it, brushing along his slit every so often. jeongin could not take this anymore, he only wished he could fuck you right now and see how much of a mess you'd actually be.
the thought wouldn't leave his brain, to have you under him full of his cock, dumb and drooling, tears escaping your eyes. he'd do it if it wasn't for everyone watching and knowing what you agreed on beforehand. he just knew your cunt felt way better than how your mouth already felt.
you took him in so well, slowly but surely being able to take more of him without gagging. he was too big and he found it amusing seeing you struggle with a mouth full of dick.
"look at you," he says, corner of his lip curling up.
jeongin was already so god damn obsessed with you, your hot and wet mouth covering him and leaving him to imagine it was your pussy providing the pleasure to his cock instead.
"if only i was fucking you angel, god you have no idea how slutty and messy you'd look," jeongin groaned, chuckling slightly after.
his words effected you like no other, the lace covering you soaking more by the minute. the thought didn't leave your mind either, you just knew he'd be rough with you especially with the way he was handling your head right now— his dominance just escalating as you went on.
"fuck," jeongin cursed, along with some groans following. he couldn't resist when his hips began to buck up, tip hitting your throat with force.
you close your eyes, hands holding onto jeongin's thighs. at first, he thought you'd tap out but instead you allowed him to fuck your throat as fast and as hard as he wanted to. though, you felt a little ache in the back of your throat, you still somehow enjoyed how he was having his way with you.
your mask began to slip, ribbon loosening more with each forceful movement of jeongin's hand. he hadn't noticed since his head was thrown back and his eyes were closed. your hands were too busy gripping on his thighs for dear life to help yourself.
eventually he looked down, heart falling to his stomach when he saw your eyes slowly being exposed. he took his hands off and stopped all his actions to tighten the mask. he did it quick and with ease, anxious to continue mouthfucking you.
"pretty girl, you are doing so well," jeongin whispered, bending down to kiss your forehead then sat back, hand tangled in your hair once again.
his lips pressing against your forehead was something you wanted to feel everyday for the rest of your life, it was so comforting. hearing him say that you were doing a great job and give you a forehead kiss as a badge of honor really pulled at your heartstrings.
you whine around him, tears were daring to fall from your eyes and seep through the mask. this action sent vibrations to his cock, causing him to buck and whimper quietly. every time a simple curse or whimper fell from his lips it was impossible to not let out a muffled moan yourself, which only pushed jeongin further.
jeongin was losing it as he tried to contain himself. the urge to scream your name from the top of his lungs was killing him, his nickname for you being the only thing he was able to let out.
"fuck angel," he groans. his thrusts into your mouth began getting sloppy, the room was drowned in his beautiful noises.
at this point he had completly forgotten about the stream as he continued abusing your poor throat. he let out deep grunts, pulling your hair with an extremely tight grip to keep you in place.
"angel's just my pretty little fuck hole isn't she?" jeongin asked, knowing his question couldn't be answered by you but you both knew the answer to it.
it was so damn obvious, and you only wished he would continue to make you feel like just a mouth to fuck. you had felt some type of pride making him feel this way, already so fucked out from the feeling of your lips sucking him in.
"i'm so close, make me cum, make me cum angel," jeongin repeats, voice higher pitched as he grew closer to his high, "so good for me."
one of your hands fall from his thighs to cover his that sat in your hair. you could feel his skin covered in lube, no doubt parts of your hair were covered as well. you didn't care, you'd get as messy as you could if that meant jeongin was the cause.
you bobbed your head even with his dick partly down your throat. you did everything in your power to give him the best head he's ever got. jeongin was whining and loosing his grip on your hair. he twitched in your mouth, fucking up into it roughly, saying things that were incoherent.
jeongin's other hand rushed to grab yours that was still gripping onto his thigh. he held it tightly, face scrunching and basically drooling from the mouth at you being a spit stained mess.
"oh fuck!" he cried out, hips stutter up into your mouth, hot cum spill down your throat.
jeongin pulled up your head slowly, still cumming as he slid along your tongue. he tasted surprisingly better than anyone before, he sounded pretty too— his constant whimpers you wanted to hear more of each time he let one out. music to your ears.
you hummed in satisfaction, watching him ride out his high. he threw his head back against his head rest, eyes closed and looking so fucking hot. not like he wasn't already before, seeing him like this and knowing you were the cause of his fucked outness drove you insane.
you wanted to have him drilling inside you rapidly until you couldn't feel anything, numb to the touch. time could only tell, you weren't gonna give your hopes up. hoping this wouldn't be the last time you and jeongin would be doing something like this.
eventually, jeongin pulled your head all the way back until he fell from your mouth— waiting for you to swallow. your throat was so abused that swallowing caused you to wince.
the boy was breathing heavily, his grip falling from your hair. his body became less tense, stomach unclenching, beautiful body on display for everyone looking at him. honestly, you wish you had your phone to capture this exact moment, he was definitely one of the most gorgeous men you've met.
a smiled played along his face, eyes opening and looking down at you. he turned his head to the monitor, seeing all the tips that were given while he wasn't looking, so he could pay attention to you.
"thank you guys, i hope you enjoyed," jeongin says, breathlessly. he was rushing to get off the stream to be alone with you, thoughts of his after stream shower with you, bare wet body pressed against his.
god. he was in love. he already knew, but this just confirmed it fully and he wanted all his time in the world to be spent with you, spent kissing you, spent loving you, spent fucking you into bliss. he needed to fuck you tonight, it was driving him mad.
"i'll see you next week," he said, blowing a kiss and quickly ending the live.
he sat back once again with uneven breath, head dizzy and still trying come back to reality. he could even tell he was slurring his words slightly before he ended the live.
"oh my god, that was so good," jeongin says, panting and trying to regain his control.
you couldn't believe what had just happened, sitting back on your knees absolutely dumbfounded and taking your mask off gently. jeongin smiles at you, lifting his hips so he could pull up his pants. he sits up, turning everything that was on off and turning his attention back to you immediately.
"you did fucking amazing, come here," jeongin praised, leaning towards you and capturing your lips in a kiss.
it took you aback, considering not only was that your first kiss but he did it and could still taste himself on your tongue.
"made so much because of you, how did you like it?" he asked, wiping the tear that fell from the corner of your eye.
"it was.... not bad, actually," you said. doing this wouldn't be so bad if that meant you'd being doing it with your bestfriend.
"i told you. keep it up and i might just have to keep you around," jeongin says, which made your head spin at the fact he was actually considering that. he grabs a towel that's set aside and wipes his hands clean from lube, soon folding it and using the corner to clear up your face.
"we should shower and i'll get you a glass of salt water to gargle, wouldn't want you feeling gross in the morning," jeongin stood up, grabbing your arms to pull up your body.
his kindness was always part of his charm, no matter what he'd do anything to make sure you weren't hurt and had the support you needed. you were led to the bathroom where he sat you on the toilet and started a warm shower for you both. you knew this meant he was going to see you completely nude, not that the lingerie left much up to his imagination in the first place.
"come on baby, take this off," jeongin said softly, bending down to help, sliding it down your shoulders.
you couldn't catch feelings for him, no way. that would only mess things up, you thought. the two of you being bestfriends for so long and never once showing a bit of attraction for one another, what would a relationship do to that? what if things don't work out and it ruins your friendship after the fact.
"you okay?" jeongin asked, noticing the look of discomfort on your face.
you force a smile onto your face, nodding in response, "yeah, i'm fine. why do you ask?"
"you seem—i dunno, out of it," he says, he knew you better than anyone and if the stream was the reason for your discomfort he'd do what he could to make it up to you, "did that make you, yunno—"
"no, jeongin. i liked it," you reassure. his face lights up at your words, heart beating faster, especially when you said, "i did." making sure he heard correctly.
"well, okay then," jeongin stayed quiet until you both stepped foot into the shower, the warm water hitting your back.
the tension was so strong, you got weak in the knees from his touch— hands on your waist to push you until your hair soaked with water. jeongin found it difficult to not get hard again when you look like this, relaxed under the warm water that eased your muscles.
"feel good?" jeongin asked. you hum with eyes closed, looking more beautiful than ever, "turn around so i can wash your hair."
you do as told, turning your back towards him and waiting patiently to feel his hands in your hair once again. he strains the water from it, picking up the shampoo and squeezing it into his hands. his fingers ran along your scalp gently and massaging it as he goes.
everything about this felt so normal, to have him care for you like this really had you falling for him. you felt calm and comfortable as he washed your hair for you. with how rough he was being before with your head, the gentleness threw you for a loop. the dynamic was insanely attractive to you—gentleman on the streets, freak in the sheets.
he finishes and takes the shower head off to rinse the bubbles of, fingers once again massaging their way through. he watched the water run down the arch of your back—ass right there for him to just grab. jeongin really could hide how hard he was, he stood as far back as he could but still close enough to clean you up so you wouldn't suddenly be met with a surprise poking at you.
"jeongin?" you call out, softly.
he had thought he'd been caught but he answered you anyways before assuming, "yes?"
you turn, facing him again. looking up into his eyes made butterflies flutter in your stomach. he didn't know what you were going to say, but he waited until you spoke again.
"i... like you," you admit. you felt stupid admitting this after sucking his dick and seeing how good he was at his job that you were hoping would become yours as well, "like a lot. i would love to help you with your future streams, if you're looking for a partner."
"if it's you, then i'm okay with it. i like you too," he replies.
it had taken so long for him to actually say that, anxiety running through his body each time he tried to have a serious conversation about his feelings with you.
"you do?" you ask, surprised.
"for some time now, yeah." jeongin says. he didn't talk about you being his thoughts when jacking off, but he no longer needed to do that anymore. you were his.
you both smile brightly at each other, jeongin hand cupping your cheek, bodies closing the gap and kissing each other deeply. it only got more and more heated, jeongin had to pull away and control himself. he closes his eyes, feeling embarrassed from what was about to come out of his mouth, "god i want to fuck you so bad right now."
"looks like it," you joke, looking down to see his hard cock poking at your stomach then meeting his gaze again, "so what's stopping you?"
jeongin shook his head, wearing a grin before he pressed you up against the cold tile, "fuck, what am i going to do with you angel?"
2K notes · View notes
makeitmingi · 11 months ago
Text
Just A Phone Call Away
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Genre: Romance, Angst
Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)
Characters: exGirlfriend!Reader, exBoyfriend!Hongjoong
Summary: Your relationship didn't work out, the only thing it did was fill your friendship with awkwardness and regret. But when the other is in need of comforting, you still drop everything and run to each other. After all, you're both just a phone call away.
Word count: 7.1k
Warning(s): lowkey toxic ex-lovers relationship, sprinkles of jealousy, potentially emotional triggers for some. Please read at your own discretion.
[A/N: Hongjoong is just a producer/ song writer in this, not an idol. Ateez isn't an idol group. (y/n) and Hongjoong's friends don't hate each other, they just disagree with the actions of the ex couple. The couple didn't work out for whatever reason. No matter what their lingering feelings are now.]
30th September, Saturday, 9:27pm
Your front door suddenly opened, making you look up from the movie that was playing on the television in front of you. Seeing that it wasn't some stranger entering your house to cause you alarm, you turned back to the movie, simultaneously eating a spoon of rice.
Also, he had called 30 minutes before to tell you he was stopping by. No questions, just a declaration. So you were expecting him.
"Ughhhhhhh." The visitor groaned, falling onto the empty space of the couch next to you. Rolling your eyes, you ignored him but he continued to annoyingly groan.
"Tch. What do you want?" You clicked your tongue. You paused the movie and turned to him.
"Yah..." You tapped his head with the bottom of your bowl.
"How can you just casually eat when I'm in distress?" He asked. You tilted your head, chewing your food before swallowing. You let out a sigh of defeat, reaching to put the bowl down on the table.
"Come here." You spoke softly. He moved immediately, pushing you to lie down and rest his head against your chest.
"Nothing's working out." He mumbled.
"What's not working out?" You probed further, hand coming up to stroke the back of his head.
"I've been camping at the studio for 2 weeks and have not produced a single beat, much less a track or instrumental. I think I've lost my touch." He said. You sighed, his studio work was always something that stressed him out. It was unhealthy for how much of a workaholic he was.
"If you're gonna come here and start speaking bullcrap, I'm kicking you out." You threatened.
"No..." He shook his head, hands coming to squeeze your waist like a child, as if you were really going to kick him out. You hoped he couldn't hear the way your heart lurched.
"Hey, don't sleep yet. Do you want food?" You asked. When you felt him nod, you got up and went to the kitchen.
"What did you cook?" He came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you.
"Fried rice. I was lazy." You explained. You took the remains and scraped them into a new bowl for him. The leftovers were going to be your lunch tomorrow but it's fine.
"Here." You poured flaked seaweed over before handing him the bowl. He sat at the small dining table in the kitchen, eating and watching you clean up. You did the dishes before wiping down the counter and the stove top.
"Your cooking always reminds me of home." He commented. You froze slightly at his words, chewing on your bottom lip. Luckily you were facing away from him that he couldn't see your reaction.
"Don't eat and talk, you'll choke." You forced a chuckle.
"I'm going to shower, can you do the dishes when you're done?" You asked. He nodded, giving you a thumbs up as he shovelled more food into his mouth.
"Slow down, no one is going to take the food away from you." You patted his back.
"Go shower. I'll shower after." He said betwen chews. You hummed and left him in the kitchen, going to have your shower.
Kim Hongjoong, also known as Producer Hongjoong, Songwriter Hongjoong. But before any of those things, you knew him as student Kim Hongjoong, the boy you met during your first year of college. You clicked instantly and became inseparable. He was also the first boy you truly loved.
After a few years of friendship, you both tried dating. It was some of the best moments of your life. One of your best friends was your lover, you practically spent every waking moment with him.
But ultimately, you grew too comfortable with each other, one thing led to another and in the end, you both that it was best for you to part ways.
You regretted acting on your feelings because the relationship only made your friendship awkward and uncomfortable.
If you knew you would end up losing your best friend, you would have kept your feelings to yourself.
When you broke up, you both promised to remain 'friends'. You promised that in times of need, you were both just a phone call away to give the other person some comforting. Hongjoong would come to you, like he did now, and you would go to him.
*KNOCK KNOCK*
"Aein, where's my towel?" You broke out of your train of thought to see Hongjoong's silhouette through the door. One more thing, Hongjoong never got rid of his nickname for you 'sweetheart'.
"Oh, I moved it to be with your clothes. Bottom left drawer of my dresser." You replied.
"Okay, I'll go find it. Thanks!" He walked away. You let out a long sigh, lifting your head to let the shower rain on you, hoping it'll wash away whatever you were feeling. You lightly slapped your cheeks, you needed to pull yourself together.
"Joong, I'm done." You announced as you stepped out, drying your hair with your smaller towel. Hongjoong stood up from the couch. He smiled when he saw you.
"You always look cute in my old shirts. I've always told you that you pull off any style you wear." He complimented.
"I'm literally in pyjamas... Just go shower. I'm going to sleep." You scoffed.
"No! Wait for me!" He protested, running to the shower. You honestly didn't think about it when you pulled the shirt to wear. Most of your closet was curated by Hongjoong anyway, even before you dated.
After doing your skincare, you sat on the bed and scrolled through your social media.
"Ah! That felt good!" Hongjoong came in, tossing his towel aside and diving straight for the bed.
"Joong, you didn't come your hair after you blow dried it. It's gonna be all messy when you wake up tomorrow." You lectured. Hongjoong never combs his hair, you would comb it for him or nag him to do it. Because his hair would get tangled in the morning. He ignore you and laid his head in your lap.
"It'll be fine." He assured, scrolling on his own phone. Your hands habitually came up to pat his head, your fingers combing through his freshly dried hair.
"By the way, did you change your soap?" He asked, still looking at his screen.
"Mhmm, a friend was using it. Some rose and geranium one, I thought it smelt nice so I asked where he got it." You explained.
"He?" He stopped and put his phone down to gaze up at you. You suddenly felt like you were being interrogated, also looking away from your phone to look down and meet his eyes.
"Yeah... Why?"
"What guy uses rose and geranium soap? And how close were you to him that you could smell him?" He asked with a scoff of disbelief.
"To answer your first question, you do. Because you've just used my soap. And for your second question, he was sitting next to me and I noticed. That's all." You replied.
"Right..." Hongjoong frowned slightly, pursing his lips.
"What's the big deal? It's just soap. You didn't complain when you used it." You raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing." He shook his head and turned back to his phone. You stared at the side of his face for a few seconds before going back to your social media scrolling. But Hongjoong's pointed questions and change in tone bothered you slightly. Was he... jealous?
"Joong, you don't have to stress and bother about the studio stuff, alright? I know you'll make it work out, you always do." You spoke softly, wanting to move on from whatever that was.
"You don't know that... My career... is so fickle..." He said with a sigh, putting his phone down.
"You're right, I don't. But forcing yourself to do something for 2 weeks isn't going to help either." You replied.
"What do you think I should do then?" He turned to lay on his back to look at you again. You did the same, putting your phone on the charging dock on your nightstand.
"Take a break." You smiled softly as you let your fingers continue to run through his hair.
"A break?" He tilted his head.
"Yeah. Who knows, you might get struck with inspiration. Don't think about the deadlines, think about the music and let it speak to you." You told him. Hongjoong stayed silent, he was wrong, you did know. You knew everything about the hardships of producing and songwriting because it was one of the things that broke you two up.
"How do you always know what to say, aein?" He smiled softly.
"You'll get out of this rut, just like you always do. Look at all the hits you've produced, I believe in you and your talent. This is just another hurdle you'll jump over." You giggled.
Hongjoong sat up, making you do the same. He laid down on his side of the bed, patting your pillow. You laughed as you laid down beside him.
"Come here." He whispered. You scooched closer, only for him to wrap an arm around your waist and lay his other under your head.
"There. That's better." He chuckled, now practically holding you to his body. Your chest tightened at this closeness.
"How has work been?" He asked, realising he's only been talking about himself the entire evening. Not once had he asked how have you been, even though he crashed your night at home.
"Busy. My company made me take on a new team and it's been grueling onboarding them." You groaned. Hongjoong chuckled, the hand of the arm around your waist opted to lightly brush the exposed skin of your hip with its thumb.
"But I think it's great your company believes in your ability to take on a new team and manage them, alongside your current team." He complimented.
"Thank you." You said.
"There's nothing to thank me for. You're an amazing leader with great work ethic, I've always told you that." He smiled.
"I thought you were just saying it to hype me up." You rolled your eyes, flicking his chest lightly. Of course you didn't do it hard enough to hurt him.
"You're so cute." He laughed and pulled you in to kiss the top of your head. You were both just silent, you were too lost in your head.
"Hongjoong, I-" You looked up to see his sleeping face. You melted slightly, reaching out to hold his cheek gently. Even in his sleep, he instinctively, leaned into your touch.
It took everything in you to carefully remove yourself from him. You tucked his outstretched arm next to him, pulling the blanket up so that it covered him properly. You stared at his sleeping face for a while, lightly patting his side through the blanket. Hongjoong meant so much to you. But what was he to you?
-
17th October, Tuesday, 4:49pm
It has been about 2 weeks since Hongjoong was at your place. When you woke up the next morning, he was gone. All that was left was a note on the counter in his handwriting.
'Thanks for letting me crash and feeding me so last minute, aein. Have a great day and weekend.
Also, there's iced coffee in the fridge and a bagel sandwich in the paper bag next to the toaster. Heat it up before you eat it!
- Hongjoongie'
Hongjoong was a terrible cook. But he still always tried to make sure you were fed. You were both workaholics so you took it upon yourselves to always remind the other to eat.
According to his one social media post, it seemed like he took your advice, going to the countryside for a few days to get away from the studio. Of course, you knew that he probably still brought equipment there to work but now there was a change in scenary.
"Oh, you're back." Seonghwa walked in after having seen the lights to his best friend's studio on. He had an iced tea on hand, not liking the bitterness of coffee.
"Mhmm." Hongjoong hummed, resting his head on his hand as he looked at the screen before him.
"So..." Seonghwa started.
"What?" Hongjoong stopped, turning to see the taller male who was now seated on the couch. He stood up and went to the mini fridge, grabbing a can of cold coffee to drink.
"What was with the sudden vacation? You don't usually take sch last minute studio leave." Seonghwa asked with suspicion.
"Just needed a breather. Wanted the outdoors. Looking for inspiration." Hongjoong shrugged.
"And did it help?" To which Hongjoong nodded to but then shrugged again, it was iffy. He didn't know for sure if it helped him write new music but it definitely helped him clear his head and forget about the stressors of work for a bit. Just like you said, it helped him focus solely on the music.
"I definitely feel more clarity in my thinking. Overall, it was a good suggestion for me to go." Hongjoong said without thinking. But Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at that.
"Suggestion? Someone suggested for you to go?" He clarified. Hongjoong cleared his throat, not expecting his best friend to pick that up.
"Yeah." He was brief in his answer as he sat back down in his chair and pulled himself back to his desk.
"(y/n) adviced you to go, didn't she?" From the way the shorter male stiffened slightly, Seonghwa knew he hit the nail on the head.
"We're still friends, Hwa. She tried to help me get out of a music rut, that's all." Hongjoong was unnecessarily defensive, especially when Seonghwa hadn't said anything.
"So you went to meet her to seek comfort from her. Just like how she does with you." Seonghwa spoke slowly, hoping Hongjoong would realise how that sounds. But he didn't get what the taller was getting at, nodding in agreement.
"Friends comfort friends." Hongjoong shrugged.
"Right, cause you two are just... normal, everyday friends." Seonghwa scoffed. Hongjoong frowned.
"I need to work. I'll see you at dinner later." He put his headphones on, shutting Seonghwa out. With a sigh, Seonghwa stood up and grabbed his drink before walking out of the studio.
Once the door closed, Hongjoong sighed, plopping his head down onto the desk. He groaned as he sat up, grabbing his phone.
"CHEERS!"
He straightened up when he saw your social media story on his personal, private account. You were out with your friends, Mingi, Wooyoung and San last night. Your posts were a mix of reposts from your friends and your own.
"Wooo!" You had a slightly shaky video with Mingi's arm around your shoulders, holding you to him. He was excitedly jumping up and down, making you jump with him.
"You're making me spill my drink!" You squealed, which only made the mischevious Mingi do it more.
"Ah, you're so cute." Mingi chuckled at your outraged reaction, pressing his forehead against your temple with a smile.
"Hug me!" The next was a video Mingi posted of San, obviously drunk, reaching out for you to hug him. At first, you shook your head, which only made San more whiny.
"Hug me~!" He glued himself to your waist like an attached child to his mother.
"I'd rather let him hug me than a random stranger. Again." You shook your head, taking a sip of your drink as you patted San's back.
"This girl. She always doesn't want to go out with us but when we make her, she has such a good time. Doesn't she?" Wooyoung appeared, giggly and also drunk. He held your chin to make you face him, a teasing smile on his face. You rolled your eyes and slapped his hands away.
"Yah-" Your shouts of protests were cut off as the video cut off and went to the next story. It was a report from a video that Wooyoung had taken in selfie mode.
"She's mine, okay?!" Wooyoung pulled you in, pressing his cheek against yours, squishing your faces together.
"You're mine!" He then proceeded to give you a loud kiss on the cheek.
Hongjoong had to turn his phone off after that. Mingi, Wooyoung and San were your friends a lot longer than he was. But he always felt out of place with them.
Mingi was always flirty with you and Wooyoung was always physically touchy with you. San as well but Wooyoung was more.
Out of respect for your longer friendship, he never mentioned anything to you. He was worried it might upset you or make him seem untrusting and/or insecure. And you never liked clubbing but the trio always convinced you to go with them.
Hongjoong brought it up once, telling you that you shouldn't feel pressured or forced to go. However, you assured him that you didn't feel forced at all and you trusted the 3 to keep you safe.
They weren't bad friends, they made you happy. They were there for you when you and Hongjoong broke up.
They were also the ones, along with Seonghwa, that disapproved of you and Hongjoong's 'arrangement' of continuing to seek comfort from one another.
-
26th October, Thursday, 8:16pm
"Joong...?"
The moment he heard your saddened voice, he sat up from his bed, pausing his music and putting his laptop aside.
"Yeah, aein? Are you alright?" He asked. It took a while for you to reply, he heard the shaky sigh that escaped you. It was barely audible but he still heard it.
"Ugh... Can I come over?" You seemed hesitant with your question.
"Of course." He replied almost instantly, contrary to your question, without any hesitation. Hongjoong had about 30 minutes to make his place 'presentable' to you. To be honest, he hadn't been home much, always camping at the studio or Seonghwa's place, which was much nearer to the studio.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
You still remembered Hongjoong's door passcode. It was his mother's birthday. You trudged in, kicking your shoes to the side as Hongjoong shuffled to you.
"Ugh..." You groaned, leaning against him with your forehead against his chest as he held you up.
"What's wrong, aein? Are you okay? Feeling sick?" Hongjoong asked.
"Work is shit, my parents are shit, life is shit." You complained, like a disgruntled teenager going through puberty. Hongjoong chuckled, guiding you to the couch. He tucked you under his arm.
"Alright, slowly. Tell me what happened?" He coaxed, his other hand coming to stroke your hair.
"Work is always shit, you know that. And my mum keeps trying to set me up on blind dates. The guy tonight was so... he was terrible." You groaned. Hongjoong went quiet. Whether it was on your own accord or not, he had no idea that you were back out in the dating scene.
"What guy ends a date so early? You called me at like 8pm." Hongjoong asked, looking at his watch.
"He didn't end the date. I told him I was leaving and just stood up... walked out of the restaurant..." You mumbled. That made Hongjoong burst out laughing.
"Aein! You walked out on the guy?"
"What? Would you have preferred I stay?" You frowned. Hongjoong stopped laughing at your words.
"Of course not." He hugged you tighter. To cheer you up, Hongjoong ordered you takeout. You weren't going to eat his possibly poisonous cooking. So he ordered rose tteokbokki with cheese.
"Why don't you go shower before the food comes? I've already turned on the heater." Hongjoong suggested. You nodded and pushed yourself to stand up.
"Way to tell me I smell." You scoffed with a playful smile before walking to the bathroom. You already knew your way around his house, just like how he knew his way around yours. But he still followed you, grabbing a clean towel for you while you took one of his hoodies from his closet.
"Thanks, Joong." You kissed his cheek and went into the bathroom. Hongjoong stood there, in the middle of the room, stunned.
"Calm down, Kim Hongjoong." He slapped his cheek before leaving his room. He closed the door behind him to give you some privacy before going back to the living room.
*DING DONG*
"Delivery." There was a muffled voice. Hongjoong went to answer, tipping the delivery guy.
"Thanks." He bowed his head and closed the door. As he got two plates and two sets of cutlery out, he paused for a moment. When was the last time he had someone over? It was probably you.
"Food's here?" Your voice sounded from the room. Hongjoong let out a sound of acknowledgement and you came out.
"Gosh, I'm starving." You said, drying your hair with the towel.
"Did you not eat at all, aein?" Hongjoong chuckled as you slid onto the bar stool, opposite him. You shook your head, accepting the cutlery and plate he handed to you.
"I left after eating two breadsticks, Joong. It was so bad, my parents were already tearing up my phone on the way here so I turned it off." You waved the blank out device, setting it on the table. You and Hongjoong dug into the food.
"You always know what I need, Joong." You giggled, physically melting and letting out sounds of happiness.
"Don't eat so fast, aein. No one is going to take it away for you." He chuckled, reaching out to pat your head with a soft smile on his face. You smiled back.
After eating the food and sharing a can of beer, Hongjoong made you some tea, knowing you always liked to have it after eating things that may cause you to feel bloated in the morning.
"Luckily I still have your full boxes of tea here." He said, handing you the mug.
"Thank you." You received the warm mug and took a sip, you were careful not to spill any on his bed.
"Were you working before I came?" You asked, nodding over to the laptop that had been abandoned at the end of the bed. The screen was still open, showing a chat between him and someone named 'Hyejin'. It was obviously a girl's name, making your stomach sink a little. But you looked away, ignoring it.
"Just some touch up work." He quickly picked it up and closed all the open windows. He tucked the device under his arm, going to charge it at the desk.
"So, who is Hyejin?" You couldn't help but ask in a low voice
"Just a friend I met. Seonghwa introduced us." Hongjoong replied. Internally, he was confused at your change in demeanour.
"Ah, I'm so glad I could take the day off tomorrow." You changed the subject, taking a long sip of tea before putting it on the nightstand beside you. Hongjoong laughed and got under the covers.
"Come." Just like at your house, Hongjoong waved you over. You moved in without hesitation, leaning against his touch. He tucked your head under his chin.
"It'll be okay, hmm? Don't be bothered by work and what your parents do." He rubbed your arm while hugging you.
"Thanks, Joong. I feel like you're the only one that will always believe in me." You closed your eyes.
"You should believe in yourself too, aein." He whispered.
When Hongjoong woke up, he was greeted by your sleeping face. You were calmly and safely tucked against his side, sleeping without a care in the world. Hongjoong smiled softly, stroking your head before getting up to close the curtains properly. You were always annoyed when even a little bit of sunlight came in to wake you.
*RINGGGGGG*
Hongjoong scrambled to get his phone, running out of the room so you wouldn't wake up.
"Hello?" He spoke softly even though he was a good distance away from the bedroom. He was still worried that you may get woken up by the slightest noise.
"Where are you? You're not coming into the studio today?"
"Oh, Hwa. No... I don't think I am." He said, leaning against the wall to look out the window.
"Why? You don't usually forget to cancel studio time unless it's an emergency. Please don't tell me you're going on another spontaneous holiday or something."
"I'm not... I'm just... busy..." Hongjoong scratched his head, not really sure on what to say. Seonghwa was silent on the other side.
"Oh my god. You have someone over, didn't you? Good on you, Hongjoong! Was she good?"
"Please don't speak about her in such a way..." He mumbled, annoyed that you were being mentioned in such a crude way, even if Seonghwa didn't intentionally mean it, not knowing that the person that as over was you.
"The person... It's (y/n)... isn't it...?"
"I-"
"Save it, Hongjoong. You don't have to explain it to me. Please just tell me you didn't do anything stupid that you will both regret."
"No, none of that. She was just having a hard time and I'm returning the favour. I comforted her like how she comforted me when I was struggling. That's all." Hongjoong explained.
-
6th November, Monday, 10pm
You stood outside of the club. It was closed for a private event but when you showed your card to the bouncer, he opened the velvet rope for you to go in.
"You okay?" A hand came up on your shoulder. You looked over to your plus 1, Jeong Yunho. He offered to come with you so you don't get lost and you didn't want your usual 3 friends to know you're here, they might actually tear the place down. But you were sure Yunho might tell Mingi at some point, they're best friends.
'HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONGJOONG!'
Was displayed everywhere. Yes, this celebration was to ring in Hongjoong's birthday at midnight. Hongjoong had sent you an invite and you asked Yunho to come with you for moral support.
You could have said no but deep down, you knew you couldn't. You didn't want Hongjoong to think there was something wrong.
"Sorry, where are the presents?" You asked someone that was dressed in a server outfit with a nametag.
"Follow me." He waved you over. Yunho walked behind you, guarding you against all the moving bodies. You were sure Seonghwa organised this party for him.
"Wow." Some presents looked huge and some weren't even wrapped, just presented into their luxury label paper bags. Compared to your small present, it seemed like it would get lost somewhere.
"Don't doubt it." Yunho whispered, knowing you. You sighed and placed the paper bag down.
"Shall we get some drinks?" He asked. You knew Yunho would take care of you if you had alcohol. He wasn't drinking, wanting to be sober to take care of you and because he was driving. You went to the bar to order yourself a cocktail.
Meanwhile, you hadn't noticed that Hongjoong was staring at you from the moment you walked in. His eyes narrowed in on Yunho, he wasn't part of your usual trio.
"Hongjoong! Are you enjoying yourself?" Seonghwa came up to him. Hongjoong nodded, making Seonghwa followed his gaze.
"You invited her?!" Seonghwa exclaimed.
"She's still a friend, Hwa." Hongjoong mumbled. Seonghwa face palmed, seeing the male by your side, he knew Hongjoong was going to be preoccupied the whole night.
"Please enjoy your own party." He sighed. Hongjoong took a sip of his drink, turning to his best friend.
"I am enjoying the party, Hwa. Thank you for organising it. I've spent the past two hours greeting people." Hongjoong cringed slightly. He appreciated Seonghwa's efforts but preferred a smaller, quieter, more intimate celebration. When Hongjoong saw you get up and try to head over, he straightened up.
"Go, go." He shooed Seonghwa away as you approached. Seonghwa rolled his eyes and walked away. But he did cross paths with you.
"Hi, Seonghwa." You gave a friendly smile. Seonghwa smiled softly, pulling you in for a hug.
"Hi, (y/n). How have you been?" He asked. Seonghwa didn't hate you or dislike you in anyway, like your own friends, he thought you and Hongjoong continuing as friends like this wasn't healthy.
"I've been good. What about you?" You blinked up at him.
"Great. You know the usual, taking care of Hongjoong." He chuckled. He could feel Hongjoong burning holes into the back of his head.
"I better let you go greet the birthday boy before I'm 6 feet under." Seonghwa patted your head before walking away. You tilted your head in confusion but went to Hongjoong.
"Aein, you made it." Hongjoong smiled softly as you came into view. You were beautiful, as you always were. You were dressed in a black dress with a slit going up the side of your thigh, the bodice hugged your curves nicely.
"Of course. Happy early birthday, Joong." You giggled, wrapping your arms around him. Hongjoong's scent always comforted you.
"Thank you." He closed his eyes, savouring the hug.
"You came with a friend?" Hongjoong asked when you both pulled away. You both wished the hug could last longer but it would just make the whole thing awkward.
"Yeah, just someone to make sure I get home safe in case I go overboard with the drinks." You said shyly, rubbing the back of your neck.
"Aein, I'll always make sure you're safe. You know I won't let you be in any sort of danger." Hongjoong frowned slightly. You didn't need Yunho to take care of you, he could do it, ma
"I know. I... I just want you to enjoy your party, don't worry about me." You said, squeezing his hand with a reassuring smile.
"Hongjoong! Happy soon birthday!" A girl appeared behind you. You blinked in confusion.
"Thanks, Hyejin." He replied. This was Hyejin, the girl that Seonghwa introduced to him. Now you felt out of place, like you were the one that wasn't supposed to be there.
"Enjoy your party." You wished. With another brief hug, you left him, going back to the bar where Yunho was waiting for you. You didn't want to leave his side, Hongjoong didn't want you to go too.
"Whenever you want to leave, just let me know. I'm here only for you." Yunho told you kindly. You nodded with a smile, taking a sip of your drink. Honestly, Yunho also disapproved of you coming but he'd rather come with you than let you come here alone. You insisted you were here to celebrate a friend's birthday, that's all.
"Alright everyone! Let's countdown to the birthday boy's birthday!" Seonghwa said in the mic, standing with everyone on the stage. You saw Hyejin standing beside him with a big smile.
"10... 9... 8... 7..." Everyone counted down with their drinks in hand. Hongjoong looked at you as you counted down with the crowd.
"1! Happy birthday Hongjoong!" Seonghwa yelled into the mic with everyone else raising their glass for the toast.
"Happy birthday Hongjoong!" Hyejin wrapped her arms around Hongjoong, giving him a peck. The crowd cheered at her action while Hongjoong's eyes widened at the action.
"Hyejin..." He was stunned.
His eyes searched for you frantically. You were still there but Hongjoong knew, your genuine smile was gone.
This was your fake, forced smile. Your mask of a smile.
He watched as Yunho leaned in to whisper something to you. You took the last sip of your drink and nodded, placing the empty glass on the counter. Yunho held your hand to help you off the bar stool and led you through the crowd to the exit of the club.
"(y/n)..." Hongjoong whispered.
"Enjoy the rest of the night everyone! Thanks again for coming to celebrate the birthday boy!" Seonghwa said to everyone before getting off the platform.
"Why would you do that?" Hongjoong frowned at Hyejin, who looked stunned at Hongjoong's reaction.
"I... I'm sorry, Hongjoong." She hung her head low.
"We're not dating, Hyejin. We just met! And you just do that in front of all my friends?" Hongjoong hissed. Seonghwa, who watched the exchange, sighed.
Yes, Hyejin shouldn't have done that. But he knew that Hongjoong was more bothered that you saw Hyejin kiss him.
-
15th December, Friday, 6:02pm
You sighed tiredly, getting up from your desk. There were too many year end wrap ups to do but you wanted to get them done before your Christmas leave started. While Yunho promised he didn't tell the other 3 about what happened at Hongjoong's party, it was suspicious when Wooyoung suddenly suggested a vacation.
It would be good. You wouldn't have to go to your stuffy family Christmas celebration, it was good to get away and you wouldn't be near Hongjoong.
But speaking of, you haven't contacted each other since the night of the party. Maybe it was for the better.
You were not dating, he was only a friend, so you shouldn't feel hurt or bitter. You told yourself that you should be happy for him, you knew he was a good partner, he would make Hyejin happy.
'I'm downstairs. - Yuyu'
'On the way. - (y/n)'
Yunho wanted to take you out to dinner tonight. You were clear in expressing that you were not ready for a relationship, no matter what your feelings were. But he assured you, it was just dinner.
"Yuyu." You called out to him. He straightened from his leaning postured against his car, smiling softly.
"Hi, (y/n). I hope you had a good day at work." He wrapped his arms around you to engulf you in a big bear hug, or what you would call a puppy hug, even rocking you from side to side. You giggled, putting your own arms around him.
"I told you to dress warmer." He tsked, taking the scarf off his neck and wrapping it around you.
"I'm fine." You waved him off. But he shook his head, opening the door to usher you into the warm car. Once you were seated, he closed the door and went to the driver's side.
You didn't notice the car that was parked a little behind Yunho. Hongjoong looked at the exchange between you and Yunho.
"Damn it." He slammed his fist against the steering wheel. He hadn't contacted you, he was scared.
He was scared of what you were going to tell him, he didn't want you to wish him the best. But he couldn't take it anymore so he wanted to speak to you physically.
But after witnessing that, if there was something between you and Yunho, he shouldn't be in the way. He should wish you both the best right?
-
25th December, Monday, 2:34pm
The boys decided to rent a cabin in a forest village of Kurokawa in Kumamoto, Japan. It was cold like Korea but the forest scenary was beautiful and there were Christmas lights set up everywhere, which was very pretty at night. You were seated next to the heater on the balcony, admiring the view.
*BEEP BEEP*
'Merry Christmas, aein. - Hongjoong'
You stared at the message for a while, chewing on your bottom lip as you decided if you wanted to reply. You knew if you wanted to let go of Hongjoong, you needed to stop contacting him.
'Merry Christmas, Hongjoong. - (y/n)'
When was the last time you called him 'Hongjoong' and not 'Joong'? Even when you broke up, you called him 'Joong'.
"Hey, beautiful. The boys wanna go snowboarding and-" San suddenly appeared. He seemed to have glanced at your phone because he frowned, taking it from your hands.
"Sannie." You tried to take your phone back.
"Come, Mingi wants to build a snowman with you." He said, tucking his phone into his pocket. You nodded, slipping your hand into his and letting him lead you out. Being with the 4, you knew you had to put Hongjoong at the back of your mind and enjoy yourself.
'How's Japa|'
*delete*
'You decided to travel for Christmas? That's gre|'
*delete*
Hongjoong groaned out, tossing his bed on the side. He really wished he was home where his home studio was and he could work. But he came to visit his parents for Christmas, only bringing his laptop.
"Hongjoong ah. Santa Claus can hear your sighs all the way in the North Pole." Mrs Kim clicked her tongue as she came in.
"Santa Claus isn't real, omma." Hongjoong scoffed, sitting up. Mrs Kim laughed and sat beside Hongjoong.
"Whatever it is you're going through, my dear son, you'll get through it. Sometimes, things just aren't to go our way, no matter how bad we want it to. But that doesn't mean it's the end. There's still so much to look forward to, you never know what life will throw at you." Mrs Kim smiled, rubbing Hongjoong's back.
-
7th January, Sunday, 10:13am
Hongjoong gulped as he stood before your front door. When you had suddenly texted him to meet, he grew nervous. You always called him and instead of asking to go over, you asked him over to yours.
*DING DONG*
Here goes nothing.
"Coming!" You replied, feeling your heart race as you approached your front door. You felt a lump in your throat, one that was too big to swallow. Seeing Hongjoong when you opened the door just made things worse. This was a bad idea.
"Hey, Hongjoong. Thanks for coming so early." You smiled, stepping aside for him to enter your house. There it was, you dropping the nickname and calling him 'Hongjoong' like an acquaintance.
"Hey. No worries, at all. I hope you had a good holiday." He returned the smile, reaching over to hug you briefly.
"I did. It was a nice getaway. What did you do?" You asked as you closed the door.
"Visited my parents for a bit, celebrated Christmas and New Years with extended family." He shrugged, removing his shoes and sitting on the couch. He was so stiff and awkward.
"Oh. That's nice. How are they?"
"Good." Hongjoong replied. You handed him a glass of iced coffee, holding your own tumbler in your hand before sitting down next to him.
You both felt a little deja vu, it was negative, making your stomachs sink and your hearts race. The last time you 'talked' like this, you were in Hongjoong's apartment, sitting down and ultimately ending the conversation in tears and with a break up. You gulped, trying to find the words.
"It's okay. Breathe." Hongjoong said, leaning forward and placing a comforting hand on your knee. It didn't help, you didn't want him to be nice, it only made things harder.
"I think I know what you want to talk about. That our friends were right, weren't they? We couldn't continue as friends like we thought." He spoke.
"Hongjoong... I..." Your bottom lip quivered.
"It's okay." He rubbed your back.
"I still care about you, Hongjoong. I really do... It's just... It's hard. I feel like my heart gets hopeful that we can go back to being something more but we can't." You looked at him, seeing tears in his eyes.
"At least I know I'm not the only one that feels that way. We tried to make it work but we still couldn't." He said.
"I'm sorry." You cried.
"Aein, don't be sorry. There's no one at fault. Unknowingly we've both been holding each other back that the other can't move on." He pulled you into a hug to soothe you.
"We both liked the comfort too much that it became too comfortable, similar to our relationship. Being just a phone call away from each other hurt more than it helped." You said softly. Hongjoong nodded in agreement, wiping his fallen tears.
"I don't want to lose you, Joong." You shook your head, subconsciously using the nickname. Hongjoong felt the same, he had already lost you as a lover, now he was going to lose you forever.
"I don't want to lose you too, aein."
"I shouldn't have confessed my feelings. If I didn't, we would have still been friends. We wouldn't be here." You said.
"No, please... Please don't say that like you regret it. Our time together was the best time of my life, I don't regret it at all. So please don't." He begged you, choking on a sob.
"And if you didn't confess, I would have. My only regret is not cherishing you more when I had the chance." He forced a small smile.
"It's not solely your fault, a relationship needs effort from both sides." You chuckled. You and Hongjoong just stared at each other, sharing a short moment of silence.
"Before I go, I just want to clarify. There's nothing between me and Hyejin. I didn't lie or hide anything from you." He blurted out.
"You don't have to explain it to me, Joong. It's fine. You're free to move on and love whoever you want. I know the girl you end up with is going to be the luckiest girl in the world." You smiled. Deep down, Hongjoong wished that girl was you. He already knew it was going to be a while until he can actually move on.
"Well, I can say the same for you. I wish you and Yunho the best." He said. You didn't correct him that you and Yunho weren't dating because was there a need to now?
"Thank you for everything, Joong. You gave me some of the best memories I've ever had." You pulled him in for a hug.
"Thank you for loving me, no matter how difficult I am, (y/n)." He cried softly and closed his eyes, squeezing you against him. You shook your head.
"Don't cry." You whispered, cupping his cheeks and wiping his tears with your thumbs. Hongjoong smiled tearfully, holding your hands in his. The both of you chuckled through your cries.
"Take care of yourself, hmm?" He said, rubbing the back of your hands. You nodded obediently.
"You too." You smiled softly.
You wanted to tell him, that if he ever needs you, he can always call you. But you said the same thing to him when you broke up, which led to the current predicament that you're both in so you kept quiet.
With that, Hongjoong reluctantly pulled his hands away from yours, walking down the hall with a hunched posture to hide his cries. Looking down at your hands, they suddenly felt cold as Hongjoong took his warmth away with him, as well as his heart.
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aechii · 1 year ago
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₍⁠₍ OF LOVE AND FASHiON ₎⁠₎
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A/N ?! last fic for the day booooo 😥 i dont know if i will be able to post any tmrrw, but i hope i can. anyways enjoy my lovelies
p.s. there's a little written part in this but it's abt 500-600 words
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[y/n]'s heart's racing. every palpitation hammers against her chest with much force, so much so that her full-upon-entry water has decreased to less than half left in just 30 minutes. the heat still fused with the air, but as the sun begins to sleep, it loses its energy, leaving a cool undercurrent that presses into the skin of all the attendees. she's so glad about the cooler weather, finding it completely unfathomable how she would've coped if the heat joined tham at night as well.
but the man seated beside her crashes all of her composure, and her body begins to feel hot and strangled.
she hasn't seen such a visually blessed male specimen in all the years of her living, and the fact that his body was so close to hers because of the crammed seating made matters worse. she can't think, breathe or concentrate on the influx of dressed models that come and go non-stop.
"you look disgusted."
the voice comes from right beside her, and her head whips around, startled. the man that has enraptured her entire conscience smiles goofily at her, and her heart wavers.
"what? me?"
"yes," he chuckles softly, "you."
his eyes turn back to the show before them, yet he continues speaking before [y/n] can justify herself, "i don't blame you, though. some of the outfits are... questionable."
his facial expressions are priceless, and [y/n] falls into a bout of laughter, "you're sick!"
he looks on seriously, eyes flashing with extreme judgement, "i'm not lying! how does anyone find pairing a skirt and baggy trousers aesthetic?"
the combination, that [y/n] had, most likely, missed from being consumed by her thoughts, makes her grimace, "yeah, that wasn't a good look at all."
he turns back to face her and, god, he stares so intently that she has to look away.
"speaking of outfits, what brand you wearing? 'cause i know it's not lv for sure, i'm not seeing any," he thinks of the right words, "over exposure of the logo."
"that's one way to put it," [y/n] snickers, looking down at her outfit, "i made it all myself... apart from the shoes of course."
the boy is taken aback, mouth agape and eyes wide, "no way!"
she begins to feel flustered by his reaction and just smiles.
"that's so cool, honestly. i would take more pride in that than wearing a slutted out luxury brand."
"slutted out?" [y/n] can't believe her ears; he's going to kill her, she's sure.
"how the hell did you come up that?!"
the boy purses his lips, looking smug, "i'm just that amazing."
"you're delusional."
he pretends to think for a moment, "delusional enough to think i'd get your number?"
[y/n]'s eyebrows shot up, "you want... my number?"
he doesn't hesitate to nod, "i don't think i'll be leaving without it."
jobe, who had been painfully listening in on their conversation, decides to make himself apparent, "don't do it, you'll regret it."
she turns around, coming face to face with a younger boy who looks almost identical to the one she had been speaking with for the past 15 minutes.
"you two brothers?"
the older one responds, "yeah, he's a cockblock though, don't listen to him."
"cockblock? jude, i'm trying to save her life!"
ah, so that's his name.
"clear off, jobe," he rolls his eyes, turning back to the girl sitting beside him, "sorry about that- so, your number?"
"don't do it!"
and much to his dismay, she does.
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y/n_l/n
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liked by judebellingham and 23,899 others
y/n_l/n paris photo dump !! met some cool ass people there lowkey
view comments...
judebellingham was lovely meeting you, such a vibe 😆
y/n_l/n you too!! <3
yfn__ best time of my life honestly
y/n_l/n paris at night is a sight to see
user1 you look GORGEOUS
user2 i really missed pfw just a day after i left france </3
user3 JUDE????
user4 I'M ACTUALLY SO SHOCKED
user5 😮
user6 WE FOUND HERRRRR
user7 and jude beat me to it already 😐
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judebellingham
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liked by y/n_l/n and 899,231 others
judebellingham ❤🇫🇷
view comments...
y/n_l/n love the after party candid, send it to me plz xx + tell jobe i'm sorry but not sorry
judebellingham you look so pretty in it ofc + he'll see it anyways xx y/n_l/n @/judebellingham stop plz 😭🛑 jobebellingham @/y/n_l/n buy me croissaints and maybe i'll forgive you
jadonsancho freshh 🔥
user1 who's that girl in the last pic????
user2 someone who he met at the lv show, got her number and everthingggg 😭
user3 AND SHE KNOWS JOBE TOO? that's my chance stripped unrightfully away from me </3
user4 icel, she's gorgeous AAAAA
user5 this is my 13th reason
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lovelyspooks · 2 years ago
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Selfish
Peter Parker x gender neutral reader
Warnings - angst
Summary - Reader worries, a lot. But that's totally normal considering their boyfriend is Spider-Man right?
Word count- 909
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"Why can't you see my point of view Peter!?" you've been arguing for what seems like hours over Peter's recklessness as Spider-Man.
"I'm trying to understand you baby but you're not understanding me" Peter has been calm the whole argument, too calm, he doesn't understand how much it hurts you when he shows up to your window covered in wounds almost every night, he doesn't understand how worried you are all the time.
He's staring right at you, obviously wanting you to drop the subject but his defiance makes you more angry.
"Why can't you just listen to me!?"
"because not everything is about fucking you! God can't you just shut up for once?" his words cute deep as you cower down but Peter doesn't notice and continues
"I'm under constant pressure and I expect to come home to relax but you and your constant nagging are always breathing down my neck! It's fucking annoying! You're annoying! " Peter let out a huff but as soon as he saw your glassy eyes and timid body posture he regretted what he said immediately.
You looked down as your mind raced a thousand miles per hour.
Had he always felt like this?
"fine. I'm sorry... I didn't know you felt that way" you feel your face heat up as you bite back tears.
you'd always been insecure about being annoying and Peter knew that, he spent months breaking down the wall you built up to spare yourself from the embarrassment of being a burden, but here he was, helping you build that wall back up.
Peter goes to open his mouth but struggles to find words.
"bug I-... I'm so sorry, I don't mean any of that, I shouldn't have said it" he walks over to you and grabs your shoulders, his heart breaks as you avoid eyes contact with him.
"it's okay" your voice is strained as you talk, avoiding eye contact as you bring your arms up to hug yourself .
"no, it's not okay, you just want me to be safe and I'm too in my own head to see how it makes you feel" Peter brings a hand to your chin to try and make you look up at him but you shrug him off.
"I said it's fine Pete, I'm tired, I'm going to bed" You sniffle as you make your way to you and Peters bedroom to get ready.
Peter tries to think on what to do but nothing comes to mind as he silently watch you walk away "o-okay" was all he could choke out.
****
You walk into your room and shut the door behind you, embarrassed and hurt hoping Peter wouldn't walk in after you.
You change and get into bed, you lay on your side making sure you won't be facing Peter when he eventually comes to bed too.
You quietly sniffle as tears stream out of your eyes. You knew you'd fuck it up. You knew you and your annoying nagging would ruin your relationship but you let Peter and his stupid reassurance talk it out of you.
Your sniffing comes to an abrupt stop as you hear your bedroom door slowly open.
You don't say anything, instead closing your eyes and pretending to sleep. You hope Peter will go away so he doesn't have to see your puffy eyes but that's thrown out the window as the bed dips and a nervous hand snakes around your waist. When you don't protest he scoots closer and buries his head in your neck.
"I'm sorry" Peter's shaky voice is muffled out by your neck but you understand it clear.
"it doesn't matter Peter" you lowkey wanted him to drop the subject but your need for constant reassurance screamed at you to hear his apology out.
"it does though, I was an asshole for shouting at you, you didn't deserve that. I didn't want to see your point of view but I do now." Peter lifts his head to look at your face and another wave of guilt hits him like a bus to see your puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.
"if you want to talk..." He places his fingerings on your cheek and slowly wipes away your remaining tears "I'll listen. I promise" A gentle kiss is placed on your cheek before Peter puts his head back in your neck, waiting for you to speak.
You huff before turning to face Peter. Nerves coursed through you. Should I be honest?
You bite your lip weighing out your options, you're about to turn back around until Peter places his hand on your cheek.
You sigh into his touch as you start to speak.
"I'm just so scared all the time Pete" your lip trembles.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry " Peter coos as he bring you in closer, your head now on his chest.
You inhale Peters scent as if it's the last time you'll ever have the chance to.
"I know you're constantly stressed out, I'm being a baby" You bite your lip, begging yourself not to cry in front of Peter
"hey" Peter pushes you away from him gently and grabs your chin, forcing you to look at him "you're not being a baby"
You nod before pushing yourself back into Peter's chest.
"I'll be more careful. I promise." His hand lands on your back, gentle strokes soothing you, lulling you to sleep.
"I know" You let sleep consume you.
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bambisnc · 9 months ago
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nobody knows [ft j.sc]
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pairing : sungchan x reader! genre : cavity giving coded fluff cw/tw : use of caps + suggestive mention if u blink u'll miss it :P wc : 0.4k ish
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[03.17] Ding!!
bee eff (🦌) : HEY where tf are youuuuuuu it's FREEZING here your hot adn super loving bf is FREEZING alone AT NIGHT for you
you : 3 am is literally not even night,, + if you're hot.. then how are u freezing darling bf ?
bee eff (🦌) : yk what i meant !!! but feel free to elaborate on my being hot 😏😏
you : LMAO ur so cute i'll be right down
quietly making your way out of the house to meet sungchan, your boyfriend. neither of you was yet over the hype that came after having officiated your relationship with the title of dating. after years of pining, the (literal) boy next door and your childhood best friend was finally yours; as much as you were his, of course.
there were a lot of perks of dating your neighbour, to be honest. being able to meet him almost anytime of the day was definitely one of them. there was also, however, the tiny issue of having to ensure that all your rendezvous remained secret.
because, you know, there is the fact that neither of your parents would have been very approving of a partner "at this young an age?! you kids need to be focused on your studies! dating and whatnot will only jeopardize your friendships and make you one of those hermits who stay locked away in their room when a boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you!" you're pretty sure the thing about friendships was somewhat targeted..
you really did try to ignore your feelings for the boy. safe to say, that didn't work out well. his earnest confession and admittance of the fact that he was willing to take responsibility to keep you both a secret and completely hidden from all prying eyes was more than enough for you to brush your lips against the corner of his own and say yes.
bee eff (🦌) : HEAVENLY CHORUS MY GF'S COMIGN GUYS !!!!!!!!!!!! <33333 when ur here i'm gonna hug you so hard frfr. not letting you breathe for like 10 mins AT LEAST
you : oh? not going to let me breathe huh~? very 🥵🥵 of you~
bee eff (🦌) : your mind? out of the gutter please i'm trying to be romantic here!! xx but if that's what you want sure <3 i'll do anything, everything you want forever, i promise.
you've had doubts about this sometimes, a lot of worries, but you've never regretted it – and seeing how sungchan greets you with a huge smile and an exclamation of "yn!! you're here pretty!!" followed by a, as promised, huge hug – you don't think you ever will.
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notes : not even gonna lie i lowkey cried at the last text,..... oh adn kiss of life nobody knows stays winning ty for ocming to my ted talk + [m.list]
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heart-sized · 1 year ago
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𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟎𝟏 — g. satoru ii. princess?
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★⺌◞. gojo satoru x f! fushiguro reader
plot. you ask your younger brother's teacher to teach you dating 101
cw. fluff. older!gojo, gojo is a playboy, reader is twenty two, reader is introverted, nsfw, fluff and angst, not proofread
a/n. for a gojo satoru x oc version, stream here
masterlist // satoru masterlist
go back to beginning
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shoko ieiri saw you come from a distance. your head was lowered, your shoulders slouched and it didn't take for a genius to know that it must be something due to your date. usually, ieri didn't have many friends aside from satoru. her busy career as a doctor didn't allow her. however, you were an exception.
“how was the date?”
“do you really have to ask?” you sighed, sitting down on the bench. “i'm convinced i'll stay single.”
“not that singlehood is bad,” ieiri who wasn't much into dating commented before her eyes softened slightly, “what was the problem? was he boring?”
“hardly that,” you let out a bitter laugh before untying your hair from the ponytail, “i overheard him calling me too boring. oh, ieiri. i need to do something about it.”
your doctor friend's eyes widened. “i hope you gave that twat an earful, y/n.”
“no. i was too caught up when gojo san greeted me,” you explained, your eyebrows slightly furrowed, “i didn't want to cause a scene in front of him. also, he was right. i was so boring. i think i need to take a course on dating or something.”
“course on dating?” ieiri's eyes brightened with a mischievous gleam, “why don't you practise dating with satoru?”
of all the suggestions that you could expect from your friend, this was the least. practise dating with gojo san? you were stunned into silence. “are you kidding?”
“listen to me first,” your friend smiled, “we all can agree that satoru is a huge playboy. i won't be surprised if he has been out with almost all the women of tokyo. won't he know enough about how to break the awkward dating issue?”
“you think so?”
“i know so.”
“why do i feel like i am going to regret this a lot later?” you bounced your legs. the memories of your humiliation from the earlier date came in your mind and you nodded abruptly. “you know what? you are right. i really want to learn dating from gojo san.”
“great. he must be in his office. go and see him.”
“now?” you bit your lip, looking at yourself. you looked positively homeless, dressed in a loose shirt, that too of megumi, and shorts. your hair was lying loosely on your shoulders.
“i know you won't stop procrastinating unless i force you. so go.”
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you clenched and unclenched your fists for a few times before knocking on gojo san’s door. now that the adrenaline had wiped down, you were lowkey regretting your decision to agree with ieiri. if anything, there were chances of him laughing at you and your poor debacle.
“yes?"
“uh, it's me, gojo san. fushiguro y/n, megu—”
“i do remember you, fushiguro san,” a slight chuckle came from the inside before he opened the door. your eyes met his covered ones. he was back to wearing his black blindfold. “come in. did megumi mess up something or what?”
“um no, gojo san,” you fidgeted with the sleeve of your shirt as you followed him inside. taking a deep breath, you blurted out. “i need your help!”
“are you having problems with curses, fushiguro san?” he stared at you intently, eyes slightly assessing you from the top to the bottom.
“nothing like that,” you bit your lip, your cheeks turning pink in embarrassment. “it's ... it's something personal, gojo san.”
you could feel the man stiffen slightly before an easy going smile played out on his lips. “of course. carry on.”
“i ... gojo san,” you shut your eyes, taking a deep breath. “teach me everything about dating. dating 101. please.”
there was silence. you opened your eyes to see him shocked to his wits. his mouth was partly opened as he stared at you. good god! this was embarrassing. why did you even agree with ieiri?
“i ... i know it's too much of a favou—”
“fushiguro san,” he finally spoke, peeking an eye out from his blindfold and a soft gasp left your mouth as you saw his crystal blue eye for the first time, “why do you want to learn about dating?”
“i ... can i sit down please?” you whispered, embarrassed and when he nodded, you sat down, “i am not good with dating and all. my dates get too bored and then it's a disaster. i want to learn how to date.”
he leaned closer, a smirk on his face.
“and what makes you think i am the right person to teach you dating, princess?”
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ᝬ ˙.໑ ╱ © seducity 2023 — all rights reserved. property of suzu
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darkbluekies · 2 years ago
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Silas asks #5
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Previous one next one
Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3
Warnings: mafia, yandere, isolation ... the normal stuff
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In Intruder, would Silas still have been able to find the reader if she didn't look to see what was on the USB? (Perhaps she didn't know she had a foreign USB in her purse in the first place) You mentioned Silas could see her on the webcam, but I assumed that was because she used the USB on the computer. Also, if she didn't see the USB would Silas have taken it back without question or would he have still kidnapped the reader? Sorry for all the questions, I'm just curious hehe 😅
Hm, interesting question. I think that Silas would be able to find the USB one way or another, either through a tracker on it or hacking into surveillance cameras to follow her. He would most likely not be too interested in getting her, but would think of her when he leaves ... which means that he'll be back for her.
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There's this meme on tiktok that goes "my blickyyyyyy upon the dresseeeerrrrr" it remind me so much of Silas who definitely is the type of dude with a gun in his dresser 🔫 🔫
I haven't seen that meme, but Silas would 100% keep a gun in his dresser! For uh "safety reasons". Not to keep you in the room no no
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Do you think the reader would ever develop Stockholm syndrome with Silas?
I actually think so. He treats you well when you're obedient so if you don't try to escape and actually listen to what he says, he will be the most wonderful man you can ever get your hands on. And that's dangerous for your mental health because anyone would fall for that.
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With that Broken reader x Silas fanfic Does the reader have a caretaker that had been helping them?
[fanfic?]
Oneshot it's basef off of (i think)
No, Silas doesn't want anyone to be close to you, escpecially not after what you've been trough. He's scared that you'll fall for someone else in your fragile state. He needs you to be reliant on him only. You're vulnerable, perfect for him to mold how he wants you to be.
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LOVING SILAS SM MWAH MWAH MWAH LEMME KITH YOU omg but like.. 😳 what if he grows to lowkey miss gen z reader's remarks and jokes in the long run😶. like ok yeah big man got what he wanted😮‍💨🫥 but now reader doesnt laugh or smile anymore cause theyre lowkey highkey traumatized😁💧 ykwim????
[omg thank you for the kith hehe]
Then he'll try to bring it back! Silas thinks that you're a toy that he can break and bend to be how he wants you to be. Somehow you'll be back to normal, he just needs to figure out how. He'll regret breaking you down so badly and will do his best to crack your numb shell.
"I like it when you smile. Come on, baby, curse at me. You know you like that. Tell a joke, I'll laugh, I promise. No, you won't get punished, little thing."
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The Valentine's day ask for Silas got me thinking, what if his s/of wanted to get job? (cause I can't just do nothing all day) And since I'm sure he wouldn't let us go somewhere, what if we asked for him to hire us? (Cause if he wouldn't we can start looking for a online job or a job where we could leave and come back without getting caught) We can basically do some clean up or just paperwork 🤔. Also sorry if my English is bad
He'd hate the thought of you working because he thinks that you should be doing things you liked, but if you really had to, he'd keep you in his office, right by his side, where you can go through some papers. Of course not the ones that could make you scared. If there are no papers for you to go through, he'll print fake ones, just so you'll have something to do. As long as he'd keep you occupied, you'd not complain about being bored or wanting to leave.
"Ah, how about a break? We should take a nap on the couch. We've been working so well, don't you think, little thing? Come here, baby, let me hold you."
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Silas be like "I'm gonna torture you badly" I be like "I like that"🥴Chain me up in the basement for punishment? "oooh kinky"Psychological torture? "Hey how'd you know I like mind games?"Threaten friends and family? *Looks around sarcastically "where are they? I don't see them!" 🙃In conclusion, I identify as a chaotic neutral that cannot be contained. Go ahead, do your worst! It'll be fun~ >:3
You'd be Silas's nightmare.
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Ok that was weird how would Silas react to a mc who was in awe about how rich he was and shocked when they arrive at his mansion?
[what was weird ...?]
He'd be shocked. He's been in defense mode to give you a fright, to scare you into obedience ... but you're not scared?
"If I live here? Uh yeah, i do ... what about it? You like it? Yeah, I guess it's nice. Do you really like it that much?"
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Hello 👁🫦👁. I love all your stories and I'm trying to figure out how best to behave with Silas so that he doesn't lock me in the basement, but also doesn't break my mind or bones😭p.s. i love the yandere characters but even chatting with AI yanderes gives me bad endings
As long as you do as he says, (you stay in your room, doesn't complain too much, doesn't nag and demand him to be let out) he'll be pleased with you. He'll take you out for dinner and dates and be more patient with you. The more you demand of him, the less likely you'll get it and the quicker you'll end up in the basement. He wants to be treated as a human being, depsite all the bad things he's done to you :)
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bridgertonbabe · 8 months ago
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Bridgerton Spouses Support Group Chat #?
BSSG Group Chat
Kate: Guys can I ask you all a question?
Michael: Shoot.
Kate: Did you all go paintballing without me last week?
Message seen by everyone ✔✔
Kate: Ok it's been 24 hours since my last message and I know for a fact you've ALL seen it so what fucking gives?
Gareth: look if i send a cute video of george and you guys all flood the chat with comments and stuff then hopefully we can drown her out and lowkey gaslight her into forgetting all about it
Kate: What?!
Gareth: oh fu
Gareth sent a video
Michael: Awwwwwwwwww bless he's so adorable
Lucy: he has the cutest laugh!!! 🥰
Sophie: I can't believe he's getting so big already! 💗💗
Phillip: Cute x
Penelope: omg I love the onesie do you know where it's from?
Simon: See I told you he'd love the crawling crab.
Gareth: @ Penelope i'll ask hy
Gareth: @ Simon he can't get enough of it, it's his favourite thing atm
Kate: @ Penelope Well I got it from Bambino
Kate: And I fucking saw the message you obviously sent to the wrong GC @ Gareth , so you can all quit trying to GASLIGHT me!
Kate: Now I'll ask you again; did you or did you not all go paintballing without me?!
Simon: Ok fine we did.
Kate: AHA! I KNEW IT!
Penelope: How did you find out?
Kate: Greg asked me if I enjoyed the spouses paintballing afternoon when he came to pick Katie up yesterday.
Gareth: omfg wtf @ Lucy
Michael: Yeah rare L from you Lulu
Lucy: guys I'm sorry I forgot to take the wristband off before I got home and he instantly recognised where it was from so I had to fess up
Gareth: dammit you've jeopardised our entire set up
Lucy: no no no it's fine I swear! I know some of you guys don't have any trust in your partners but greg can keep a secret and respect our spouse group privacy! it won't get back to any of the other bridgertons, you've got to believe me!
Phillip: He literally blabbed to Kate.
Lucy: yes but only because I didn't tell him that she wasn't invited!
Kate: And why was I not invited?!
Sophie: Because you would have ruined it! You would have turned a fun afternoon into anything but just like you do with every other game and activity we've played before! You're just as bad as the Bridgertons when it comes to anything vaguely competitive and the rest of us just wanted some lighthearted fun without everything descending into chaos and the world burning around us, ok? And that is why we didn't invite you!
Phillip: Yep
Simon: Very that.
Kate: Wow.
Michael: Look Kate you've got to understand it's not you. It's just the psychopathic competitive Mr Hyde in you that scares the bajeebus out of us.
Penelope: yeah it really isn't personal
Gareth: except it is
Kate: For god's sake I'm not that bad! Sure I have my moments but that doesn't mean I should be excluded from your group activities! I can control myself! I've never done anything to cross the line enough to be compared to Mr Hyde for crying out loud!
Sophie: You accused me of faking going into labour with Alex and refused to call me an ambulance when we played Cluedo.
Simon: You keyed my car after Daph pissed you off in Monopoly.
Michael: And you threw Newton's poo on mine when I won charades.
Phillip: You've always mocked me for having panic attacks during game nights.
Penelope: You pushed Colin down the stairs.
Lucy:
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Kate: Oh boo fricking hoo! I'm so sorry you're all a bunch of whiny oversensitive little babies who can't take the slightest bit of heat from some perfectly healthy competition!
Gareth:
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Lucy: is the perfectly healthy competition in the room with us?
Phillip: I dread to think what you consider to be unhealthy competition.
Kate: Oh go have one of your little anxiety attacks about it then you weakling
Michael has removed Kate from the chat
Sophie: I would say I'm surprised she can stoop to a new low but I'm really not.
Lucy: and this is why I also don't regret not inviting her to laser tag or the escape room
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covenantofthedeep · 1 year ago
Text
but i'm right where you left me ☆
feat. | kaveh, kaeya, xiao, and ayato! summary | you're moving, but he'll wait an eon for you. - angst a/n | ahahaha i haven't written angst in so long. my ayato one is the best lowkey so i'm putting it at the top 😇😇😇
kamisato ayato |
that night, as ayato refers to it in his head, left him wounded and reeling and never wholly himself again. that night, where you had kissed him gently, too gently for the words cutting out of your mouth, and then left. that night, where you had vanished without a trace and promised you'd be back. that night, two years ago.
you had been eating a picnic dinner in front of the kamisato estate, the waves lapping at your bare feet, leaning against his shoulder. moonlight had wreathed his face in a holy glow, and a sharp pang of regret had dug itself into your ribs and stayed there. did you really have to leave? couldn't you just stay here, frozen in time, on this sandy beach, with the man you loved?
"ayato," you tell him, leaning into his ear. "i've got something to tell you."
he rests his chin against you, leaning his cheek on the crown of your head. "what is it, love?"
and suddenly you don't want to tell him, but the words are out of your mouth before you can stop them, and he draws away from you, hurt flashing in his brilliant blue eyes. he caresses your cheekbone with his finger, telling you it'll be okay, it'll be fine, you'll be back before the blink of an eye, it'll be okay.
his heart protests as he wraps ice around it, willing himself not to cry. he's not emotional; never will be. you smile at him, telling him thank you for being so understanding, telling him i love you and i'll miss you and thanking archons that he isn't upset.he nods through the rest of the night, numb and hot and cold all at once.
and then you leave, and there's a sinking pit in his stomach, because he wonders if you'll ever come back. how many years, he wonders, can he go without you until he withers up and fades away?
kaveh |
he's never been overly sappy with you, choosing instead to shower you with trips and picnics, flirtatious smiles and fancy dinners (although how he affords it, you don't know), as he's done with every other one of his lovers. he's considered himself a man of strong self-worth, never shattering when he's been dumped.
something about you, though, has him on his knees. he wants to beg and plead until you stay, cry and confess his love to you a thousand times. he's not a very emotional man; ask anyone. the pain in his eyes makes you want to stay and take his face in your hands and kiss him until he feels better, but you've got to go. a droplet of rain hits the back of your neck, making you shiver.
"i have to go. i think it'll be good for you, maybe you can branch out--" you start, but he cuts you off. he reaches for you, taking your hands in his.
"do you think i would want anyone else but you? all the days we spent together, did those mean nothing to you?" he pleads of you. wind whips your hair into your eyes, and he reaches forward and tucks it behind your ear. you've never seen him so vulnerable, and you have to leave before you can't.
and so you do, turning your back on him, leaving him standing in front of the akademiya, a dark silhouette against the cold, troubled sky.
"i'll wait for you," he calls after you. "i'll wait forever and ever until you come back."
kaeya alberich |
kaeya's never loved anyone as much as he's loved you, and between his devil-may-care exterior, and the way he won't share anything with anyone, you hadn't realized. when you tell him you're leaving, he's drops his wine glass. it shatters, and he steps over it, reaching for your arm. "no, love," he says, eyes desperately searching your face.
you swallow back a lump in your throat as you step away. "i have to go, kaeya," you tell him, tears pressing behind your eyes.
the sun highlights your body, and he thinks bitterly that you've never looked more perfect than you are now. it's the middle of the day, and you're on the balcony, his wineglass at his feet, shattered and akin to his heart.
you press your lips together to stop them from trembling and whisper, "i'll come back, kaeya. i promise."
he can't conjure up a response, instead turning away and leaning against the railings, looking down at the sidewalk below. he's tense; you want to change your mind and throw yourself at him and hug him and never let him go but.
but.
"if you're going," he says thickly, refusing to look at you, "then go."
his split heart doesn't pick itself up until many years later.
xiao |
xiao has known pain, agony so deep and gut-wrenching it doubles him over. xiao has known loneliness and sadness. he has known ecstasy--but only after he met you.
he always thought the two of you were perfect, forever a package deal, a pair. you clearly had different plans, and now his pain is back, familiar and terrifying.
"xiao," you plead, "it's not for forever."
he takes a deep breath, inhaling the petrichor air, the rich smell of the ground that you're lying on. rain pelts his face and his hands and his hair, beading on your eyelashes and concealing the tears that trickle down your cheek and into your hair.
you watch him anxiously, considering turning towards him and taking his hand until he looks at you, maybe--
"oh, my love," he says finally, turning towards you. there are so many words he could say. with you, i am happy. i am calm and safe. i can smile and laugh. with you, i am complete. he says none of these, instead opting for, "why?"
you blink away more tears, raising your arm to shield your face from his cut-glass gaze, his hurt eyes. i love you, you want to blurt. i'll always love you. but it'll hurt more, and instead, you get up and turn away. "i'll miss you, xiao," you tell him. "i'll come back."
he watches your retreating form, wondering where he went wrong. how many more years would he spend back in grayscale, without you to light up his days with splashes of aquamarine and vermillion?
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