#but i love this reading that gives padme agency

[padmestrilogy]

about your 'the idea of Padme choosing to die remains a huge taboo' post, I suppose is because it just doesn't make much sense to just die like she did, or at least not with everything that happened. There were no signs of Padme being close to give birth before she went to Mustafar, all that stress that happened and to make things worse, Anakin quite literally choked her until she feel unconscious, a pregnant woman! It's a bit weird for jer to go through that and then finding out that wasn't the direct cause of her death, it might even be a bit of taking some of the blame from Anakin just to lessen the disgusting crime'.

I don't doubt some fans are actually being unfair to padme 's character, but I think many are just upset with lucas choices with her death, because it could have been very easy to just say the choking was the cause of death, or the pain of going to a double partum, or complications at birth, just anything but the heart broken thing. There's a reason why is always a 'Anakin killed her' in ppl's memory, or the 'Sidius sucked her life ', rather than what happened in the movie, because the first one makes more sense and is more logical than the other and it changes very, very little for the movies. Vader already thinks he killed her and in a emotional sense it is what happened, so what would change if he actually killed her? Besides making him just slightly less terrible

well i'm working on a lengthy essay about this, and hopefully in the future i can just paste that whenever people have questions. but in the meantime i will say:

-i would absolutely call anakin padme's murderer. i have, plenty of times. it is his actions that drive her to suicide. even if he does not kill her in the most literal sense, he kills her hope for the future, which in star wars is the most sacred thing of all.

-i don't think it's "lessening" anakin's "crime" to say his force choking isn't the exact cause of her death. anakin's force choking is still treated as the height of villainy within the narrative and what completes his fall to the dark side.

-i'm not against people being upset with lucas' writing choices. i am that, every day of my stupid life. i am upset with people denying padme autonomy in their readings of the text, refusing to engage with the character as written, and acting like the logic of padme's death doesn't fit perfectly within the prequel's stylistic reality: allegorical space opera, where big things happen fast.

-all of the alternatives you list, from choking to a difficult birth to sidious, deny padme autonomy and agency over her death. with her rebellion founding scenes cut, padme only makes three active choices in revenge of the sith: to have children, to go to anakin on mustafar, and to die. i wish she made more choices than these, of course. i don't think the answer here is erasing any of these choices or refusing to think about why she might make them.

-i also don't think it's helpful to go "well this would've been easier to understand, so it's the correct artistic choice." that's a non-starter. not to mention the facts of padme's death are explained to us very straightforwardly. the real illogical stretches here are the sidious theory or the anakin misunderstanding. you have to actively ignore huge swathes of the text to come to either of those conclusions.

-padme's death is perfectly logical once you accept the story on it's own terms. anakin's rage sustains his difficult rebirth as vader; padme's overwhelming grief kills her. these scenes are paralleled for a reason. it's abstract, image-reliant filmmaking that prioritizes emotion and movement. it's star war. we see the personification of unconditional love die as we see the personification of violent hate rise. this would not be improved by a space gynecologist .

[djemsostylist]

Having recently watched the Star Wars films again, I decided to also tackle the books again as well. I've read most of what Star Wars has to offer, but there are a few I haven't made it to and a few I feel like I don't appreciate the way I should.

I started with the novelization of The Phantom Menace by Terry Brooks, and I'll be honest when I say I didn't expect much. TPM as a movie was boring, and I figured the novel wouldn't be much better.

I was wrong. I was so wrong, in fact, that I'd say I highly recommend it. See, my chief problem with the prequels is a two-fold one: 1, George wrote a truly horrible story, and 2, George hired truly atrocious actors to be the leads. Ewan McGregor not withstanding, the actors he hired were barely able to handle the script he gave them, let alone bring something more to the characters.

Anakin's fall should be slow, steady, bit by bit and then all at once. He should be Anakin, of course, but he should also be Vader. Because that is the thing about Anakin--he was always Vader. He didn't have a nightmare once and wake up Vader, after having been a good man his whole life. Vader's selfishness, his single-mindedness, his fear, his fixations, his rage, and his desire for power and control were always a part of Anakin, as much as his supernatural ability with flying and machines and his visions of the future. Anakin could be kind, he could be selfless, he could be decent, but all of these aspects of Anakin were always entwined with Vader. And as time goes on, it becomes harder and harder to hide the Vader, to pull on Anakin's face and plaster on Anakin's smile and pretend that the fire that rages always is banked, is controlled, is not waiting to consume. So when he takes those final steps, when he kills Mace and kneels before Palpatine and takes the Temple, we should have seen it coming. Not because we've seen the original trilogy and we know that Anakin is Vader, but because we've seen the Vader in him all along. Because this was always how his story was going to end. He was always going to be Vader, forever.

The problem is that the movies don't really give us that, particularly in TPM. I think George sort of wanted to show this kid's super innocence, and it came across as grossly naïve and also almost cloyingly sweet. The Anakin we get in TPM has no hints of Vader, no darkness, no intensity, none of the vices which will plague him for a lifetime. He's sweet and innocent and pure, in a way that's almost annoying its earnestness. He has little to no agency in his own story--he isn't even a POV character. And Padme, who will one day become his future wife, views him with the same sort of feeling one would expect for a 14 year old girl and a precocious little moppet--she thinks he's cute and childish and that's about it. She likes him certainly, but so does everyone he encounters, because he's a caricature of childhood innocence and naivete. There's nothing to him.

Anakin in the novel comes across as older--I'd put him at 12-13, to the movie's 9. (The book does state that he is 9, but I teach 9 year olds--even an incredibly precocious one would not come across like Anakin). In this Anakin, we see shades of Vader. He lives in a constant state of hyper awareness of both his abilities (which he is fully aware of, unlike in the movie where he seems not to notice his skills at all), and he wrestles constantly with a gnawing fear of losing everything he loves. This Anakin is quiet and thoughtful, and though kind and outgoing, is also prone to fits of rage or moments of utter stillness. When Watto is screaming in his face, Anakin sort of checks out, blank faced and staring until Watto exhausts himself and forgets to scream, ostensibly because he knows that arguing is useless, but also because, I think, he isn't sure what will happen if he fights back. He dreams of a life in the stars, but he can't see a future without his mother. He knows that he has abilities others don't, and he knows enough to keep them to himself. He saves the life of a Tusken Raider in the desert because he feels its pain, but he also beats the shit out of a teenage Rodian (a young Greedo as it would happen) because he is mourning the loss of Padme.

And speaking of Padme, their relationship in this is intense. In the movie, Padme pays about as much attention to him as you would expect, given their age difference. It would be weird for her to be as immediately smitten and attached, and likewise Anakin's interest in her seems childish and unremarkable.

In the story, their connection and mutual interest is instant and intense. From the moment they first meet in the junkshop, they are almost always together, and Padme is as fascinated and drawn to him as he is to her. (Which, coincidentally, fits much better if she is 14 and he is only a little younger). They spend all their time together, and are often lost in deep conversations. Anakin can't stop thinking about her, and she doesn't seem to mind when he holds her hand or tells her that he is going to marry her someday (with a flash of foresight). He sees visions of her in his future, leading an army, older and sadder. She seems to have difficulty leaving him (when she climbs on the Eopi to leave, she doesn't make eye contact and refuses to look back) and Anakin is devastated by her loss. He ends up beating the shit out of Greedo for an unrelated offence, and doesn't even seem to realize what he's doing until Qui-Gon shows up to pull him off.

Later, when he finds out the truth about Padme being the queen, she goes out of her way to find him and make sure he still feels the same about her as he did before. She promises him, on the ship when he gives her the Japor carving, that she will never forget him, the way way she feels about him--even makes a callback to his assertion that they will one day be married.

And this works. It works in a way the movie doesn't, because you get these two people who are both more mature, more grounded than anyone else their age, and they immediately share this intense, overwhelming bond that sort of takes both of them by surprise. It makes sense then, why, meeting years later, they are just as instantly drawn back together.

(In my version of the Clones, with an exaggerated timeline, Anakin and Padme would be on Naboo for close to a year, carefully working to bring about an end to the blockade and invasion, Anakin being trained by Qui-Gon on the dl, and they'd grow ever closer. I'd probably even have their first kiss maybe, during this time--she'd be almost 15, he'd be almost 14 (assuming he's almost 13 when we meet him), and this would enforce their bond.)

My point it, that in the novel, Anakin is intense, smart, deeply connected to the Force, and already aware of his abilities, though not in control of them or truly aware of what they mean. He is kind and thoughtful, but he is also prone to rage and fear, and he struggles with both. He is already terrified of loss, and he struggle with it throughout the novel itself. He also has the intensity that Vader has, the fixation--he's obsessed with Padme from the moment he meets her, and though his obsession is reciprocated, it doesn't make it any less intense. The Jedi, too, are concerned about his rage issues in a way the movie doesn't make clear--so much so that in the book they not only defer making a decision about his training on Coruscant, they expressly forbid Qui-Gon from training him. It's the rage as well as the fear that give them pause.

Overall, the novel sets up an Anakin (and a Padme really) that are believable for the people who they will become. There is an obvious through-line from Anakin to Vader, and it makes for a more cohesive character overall. And having Padme be just as drawn to him from the beginning also helps--their relationship has never been sane or healthy, and that is the point. Two early teens sharing an intense bond that only strengthens with time makes a lot more sense than randomly falling in love with the weird teenager you first met a cherubic child.

I'm curious to pay attention the through lines of this as the novels go on. Up next: Rogue Planet and then The Approaching Storm. (collecting all the novels year ago really was a stroke of genius).

[jedi-enthusiast]

Have you ever watched the movies? And like, did you even read my post?

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Once again, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi, but Watto refused to let him free her—he would only let him take Anakin.

There’s literally nothing else they could’ve done, unless you’re saying that Qui-Gon should’ve murdered Watto and risked starting something with the Hutts, and risked Shmi blowing up because of the tracker in her neck—because, for all we know, they could be set to automatically blow up if their slaver is killed.

-----

The Jedi didn’t “demonize” him for missing/worrying about Shmi, they were trying to get him to admit to his worry/fear- (which is literally the first step in emotional regulation) -and then, when he refused to acknowledge his emotions, warned him that fear could lead to the Dark Side.

And they’re literally right!

You can’t be pissed at them for telling Anakin that when it’s literally what happens in the next two movies. Plus, out of universe, it quite literally serves as foreshadowing for what happens to Anakin—since we know he turns into Vader, but we don’t know the specifics.

-----

Also, in my post, I literally addressed this argument.

To quote myself:

“And you can't say- "well, she just wanted to get Anakin out of slavery, she can't be blamed" -because Shmi could've asked Qui-Gon to do anything with Anakin! Take him to an adoption agency, make sure he finds a good home, get him away from Tatooine and make sure he's safe, etc.

But she told him to take Anakin to the Order and train him to become a Jedi.

And, even if Shmi didn't know of any other options for Anakin, did y'all want Qui-Gon to fucking lie to her? Say he'll train Anakin and then just give him to an adoption agency while flipping Shmi the bird?

Or would you have rather Qui-Gon left him in slavery with Shmi? Because remember, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi but Watto refused to sell her, he would only sell Anakin.

Trick question! Y'all would bash the Jedi no matter what they did!”

Next time, actually read my post before trying to argue with me, please.

-----

Also, you can’t demonize the whole Jedi Order for the actions of one guy.

Plus, you’re missing the fact that Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Padme were literally in the middle of trying to free Naboo from a blockade and trying to save the thousands of people there.

And Qui-Gon only tested Anakin’s Force-sensitivity because, once again, Shmi kept bringing it up.

-----

Again, the Jedi didn’t “demonize” Anakin for being nine and “missing his mother.”

They simply had criteria for him joining---ie being 4 years old or younger---and, when he didn't fit that criteria, they tested him to see if he'd admit to his emotions and therefore be able to practice emotional mindfulness/regulation.

Which is pretty fucking important when acting on your emotions and refusing to regulate them leads to the Dark Side, which then leads to things like murder, slavery, genocide, decades long oppression of the galaxy...

...you know, all things that Anakin did because he didn't practice emotional mindfulness or non-attachment.

The Jedi specifically adopt young children so that they grow up practicing emotional mindfulness and loving in a non-attached way, so that way it's more natural to them.

If someone grows up not regulating their emotions and loving via attachment then it's very hard for them to change and start practicing those things---I should know, I'm attempting to do it, and it's not easy. It takes a lot of hard work, work that Anakin was never willing to put in.

That's why the Jedi didn't think being a Jedi was a good fit for him, and they were right!

But no, god forbid a religious organization actually has criteria for people joining.

-----

I adhere to Lucas canon, not Legends, because Legends is just a bunch of add-ons that George Lucas himself said didn't have anything to do with canon Star Wars. Not to mention that Legends content is wildly contradictory because people rarely collaborated or adhered to what other people made.

But hey! If you get to use Legends content, so do I!

Remember how Anakin is a racist?

Remember how he met a Tusken Jedi, tried to murder him despite him doing nothing to him, only stopped trying to murder him after he took off his mask and looked human, and then said he'd murder the Tuskens---including the fucking children---all over again if he had the chance?

Yeah, are you sure you want to bring Legends content into this?

-----

Finally, no it doesn't, because the Jedi don't forcibly take anyone.

We're literally shown in The Clone Wars that people willingly give up their Force-sensitive kids to be raised by the Order, and have the option to keep their children if they don't want to give them up.

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So yeah, your argument is shit and you clearly didn't read my post, but thanks for proving my point!

Like I've said before, at least Stanakins are consistent in the way they prove my points.

Something that’s literally insane to me is the amount of hypocrisy that anti-Jedi people have in regards to the Jedi adopting Anakin.

(or “kidnapping” him, as they’d phrase it—as if Shmi wasn’t literally saying “take Anakin with you to become a Jedi” every other line in TPM, but whatever-)

———

The Jedi: *adopt Anakin*

Anti-Jedi people/Stanakins: they kidnapped him, abused him, brainwashed him into suppressing his emotions, trapped him so that he couldn’t leave, and told him love was evil!!!

The Jedi: *say they probably shouldn’t adopt Anakin since their lifestyle wouldn’t be a good fit for him*

Anti-Jedi people/Stanakins: How dare they not immediately accept him into the Order!!! How dare they actually have criteria for someone joining like any other religion!!! How dare they have valid reasons for thinking that being a Jedi wouldn’t be a good fit for Anakin!!!

———

And it’s usually the same people saying both arguments, depending on which one better fits their argument.

Like…pick a side, for the love of god.

Should the Jedi have not taken him in or should they have taken him in? You can’t have both.

And if you think they were wrong to adopt Anakin, why aren’t y’all getting pissed at Shmi? She’s the one that kept pressuring Qui-Gon to take Anakin and train him to become a Jedi!

And you can’t say- “well, she just wanted to get Anakin out of slavery, she can’t be blamed” -because Shmi could’ve asked Qui-Gon to do anything with Anakin! Take him to an adoption agency, make sure he finds a good home, get him away from Tatooine and make sure he’s safe, etc.

But she told him to take Anakin to the Order and train him to become a Jedi.

And, even if Shmi didn’t know of any other options for Anakin, did y’all want Qui-Gon to fucking lie to her? Say he’ll train Anakin and then just give him to an adoption agency while flipping Shmi the bird?

Or would you have rather Qui-Gon left him in slavery with Shmi? Because remember, Qui-Gon tried to free Shmi but Watto refused to sell her, he would only sell Anakin.

Trick question! Y’all would bash the Jedi no matter what they did!

Like, what was the other option that y’all apparently have in mind? Since you keep shit talking Qui-Gon/the Jedi for literally every decision they could’ve possibly made.

It just…the hypocrisy amazes me.

[levitatingbiscuits]

ha, the absolute lack of information about padme’s thought processes really does lead to wildly different readings. it always seemed to me like a mix of sunk cost fallacy and the conviction that if *she’s* just a good enough girlfriend/wife/senator/queen it’ll fix everything. because like — to some extent it seems to work at first! she’s sympathetic to anakin after he does mass murder, and he turns around and decides to rescue obi-wan! they get secret married and anakin by all accounts goes off to fight for the republic and be a hero! it’s totally working you guys, just like being a good enough queen got naboo saved and her pal friendpatine elected chancellor and how if she senators hard enough it’ll definitely stop the war through democratic and diplomatic means! (culminating in, obviously every last one of those things going horribly wrong at least in part because of her attempts to fix things)

… not sure if that’s a particularly more sympathetic reading than yours, tbh, but something something interpretations informed by experiences and something something inversions of fairytale roles

Idk. Part of me thinks Padme is more interesting the more I assume the worst of her. My opinon on her has changed wildly over the years, because it's so damn hard to find a take on her that explains everything she does. We already have a ton of saintly dead moms and women dying tragically because they got involved with the protagonist of a Greek tragedy. I prefer to err on the side of agency for female characters, and the take that gives Padme the most agency, in my opinion, is where she was at least partially complicit in Anakin's fall, rather than just failing to keep him good.

I do think your take is more sympathetic. It makes me feel really sorry for her, because Anakin destroys her entire life and legacy even though she was just trying to help. That's compelling!

But a part of me wants more than that for her. I want her to have used and damaged Anakin, even just subconsiously, because I am so sick of stories (and irl situations) where good and kind and well-meaning women get their lives destroyed by some guy they tried to fix. It's way too sad if she actually felt nothing but pure and selfless love for him, because he sure didn't for her.

But if she was selfish, if she abused her power and his obsession with her in order to boost her own ego and ended up having everything blow up in her face, I think that's more poetic. We know Anakin is a selfish and destructive person, and that Padme is madly in love with him, so I kind of like the idea that his darkness is what draws her to him. She has no problem rejecting him when she thinks he's just a good kid with a cringe crush on her. It's not until AFTER he reveals how dangerous he is that she starts seeing him as desirable. That's super interesting!!! Maybe it's just my penchant for morally grey women, or my love for unhealthy pairings, but I am endlessly intrigued by this take.

But who knows if I'll still believe it in a month. My opinion on Padme is always shifting, which is RARE for me. I tend to form my opinions early and then endlessly rationalize them. In some ways, she's the most interesting character in Star Wars to me, because I'm always thinking about her and reevaluating her.

[mmikmmik2]

Wakana has no agency throughout the majority of W... like literally the first two real choices she makes, where the audience is really present for her decision-making and she sets herself on a different trajectory, are coercively retracted by outside forces.

Meeting Philip reconnects her with her own kindness and desire for a better life for herself, so she discards the Claydoll Memory! Then her father forces her to take it back, Puppeteer literally psychically controls her to force her to transform again and attack people, and Weather secretly sabotages her pseudo-Driver so she's essentially Fantasy On Drugs (and doesn't even know it) up until literally the last episode of the series.

Wakana is disgusted and enraged by her father's attempt to assassinate Saeko, and fucking terrified by his nonchalant reaction to her attempt to confront him, so she tries to flee the city to escape him and recuse herself from Museum's evil plans! Then she can't leave because Philip is late to the train station and her dad physically forces her to stay and also attacks her with his emotional-trauma-inducing powers.

Wakana recommitting to Museum's plans and antagonizing Saeko and Philip doesn't feel like a choice she made to become evil. Wakana has been abused basically her whole life, believes her abusive father is willing to kill her and her sibings and is too powerful for her to ever defeat or escape, and is not thinking clearly due to Terror's powers effectively functioning as torture and also being secretly drugged. It feels like she was at the end of her rope and she chose the beliefs and actions that she needed to believe and perform in order to survive.

This reads as a deliberate writing choice, and I don't think it was necessarily a bad one. This is why the end of Wakana's story doesn't feel like "shoot the shaggy dog" to me. Like, Philip sacrificed himself to save Wakana, and then she died anyway one episode later, but in a way he did save her. She had a long time free of her family to think about what she wanted, she got to reconcile with her mother and have a peaceful conversation with her.

(Tangentially, I go ape for this kind of long cause-and-effect chain. Shotaro and the squad saved Accel and helped him find reasons to live, and so Accel saved Shroud by talking her down and showing her the tactical advantages of having multiple combatants on your team power of true partnership and respect, and so Shroud saved Wakana by finally being the mother Wakana needed. And in a way, Wakana saved Shroud by needing Shroud in a way Raito didn't, at a time when Shroud was ready to be there for her, and giving Shroud a chance to be a real mother to one of her children again. Love those good ripples.)

Wakana got to choose her own legacy to leave with the world - literally, her own Gaia Impact (the double meaning in there makes me lose it!!!) Like, that was the real stakes in the battle against Terror. Not just saving Philip, but saving the Sonozaki children from being under his thumb. Setting them free to choose their own paths and how they were going to relate to their family. Narratively, it makes sense.

I still don't like it though. I think a lot of this could also have been achieved by Wakana choosing to save Philip by giving up her ability to access her powers (Xtreme, the library) and/or her ability to use Memories, rather than her life. It would be like the ultimate callback to that flashback of baby Raito talking her down and stopping her from hitting back. I mean, when Shroud just kind of like, Padme Amidala-style loses the will to live, it starts feeling more like "okay I guess the writers wanted Philip to be the sole survivor" than an organic conclusion to the narrative. And having Wakana be unconscious for like almost the entire Utopia arc was such a terrible decision wtf.

[himboskywalker]

Seeing as we’re a good portion into December with only a couple weeks left of this truly abysmal year and in the meantime that you guys are waiting for an update from me,I thought I would give you guys a favorites 2020 list.Older works tend to take the spotlight in fandom favs so I compiled a list of some of my absolute favorites that were either entirely written or finished this year.Please note there are many many other wonderful fics written this year that I adored,and this is not a mark of lack of merit,but merely a compilation of top hits for me.

Obikin Fics 

Symposium by Intermundia--16,900 words--Rated E--Molly has written probably her own Odyssey worth of fanfiction this year and while technically everything she’s written would go on my favorites list,I can’t exactly have her entire portfolio as my list.But Symposium was her first work for the ship and is still my favorite of hers,for her loving discussion of Plato,and the alien/historical metaphors, as well as some good ol’ dom/sub dynamics.The whole fic is an absolute scream and I can’t believe it was only written in April for how many times I’ve come back to it.

Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue) by Gwendolyn (storiesofchaos)--8,164 words--Rated E--I’m a little biased on this one since it was literally written for me but seriously,Gwen reached into my brain and pulled every wire I have working.But this fic checks every box I have for Obikin,Anakin’s desperation and lack of control,Obi-Wan’s service dom vibes,dom/sub dynamics, and cock warming,honestly it’s like you guys get a personal scan of my brain.But Gwen did such a gorgeous job with the prompt and then some,and between the unbelievably hot Id pleasing sex,it delivers such love and care and intimacy as well,it’s everything I love about this ship wrapped up in 8k!

Come Down From Your Holy Mountain by Jotunblood--138,362 words--Rated M--When I think about this fic I revert to inarticulate noises and vague bisexual hand gestures.This was one of those stories I’m terribly glad I let be 3/4 written before I nosed near it because Sonny has the amazing ability to leave you breathless from the emotional intensity and tension of the story.This fic will wreck you in the best of ways,and is one of the few I literally cried while reading.It’s tender,and heartfelt, and as delicate as a spring bloom,all wrapped up in some absolutely gorgeous world building and prose.I am neither huge on post-Mustafar or bottom Obi-Wan stories,but for Sonny I make the ultimate exception.

Through a Glass,Darkly by glimmerglanger--49,383 words--Rated M--I’m a huge fan of anything glimmer conceives and is one of my few exceptions that I actively seek out their work when I know they almost exclusively write bottom Obi-Wan.And oh how fun of a dynamic this story is,with both Jedi Obikin and Sith Obikin,all mixed up from a mirror verse to canon.It’s a scream of a combination and goes to show you can have your cake and eat it too with both good and bad Obikin,and offers such a lovely combination of pining,longing,and desperation. This fic has such an intriguing premise and plays with it so well,but I also love glimmer’s writing for their Obi-Wan,who is every bit as tender and gentle as I imagine him.

Needing/Getting by chapstickaddict--134,784 words--Rated E (WIP)--This is another one I was desperately and I mean desperately glad I let get several chapters in before I started reading,it was bad enough staying up till 5am,100k deep only to be like AND?!?!YOU MEAN I HAVE TO WAIT NOW?!?!I am absolutely obsessed with this fic for many reasons,the force philosophy and prose,the truly gorgeous metaphors to describe the force and their minds.I adore this story too for the twins and Ahsoka and how wonderfully they weave into the tale,and Padme too in her own ways,which offers a rare but greatly appreciated story where she has true agency,even in death.But even beyond the beautiful prose and gorgeous descriptions of the force,I love this story for the electric chemistry between the two,even as Sith and Jedi.I love it for how effortless they fall into each other’s gravitational pulls,and how dynamic and wonderful it is to read them interact and fall in love.

Carrier by JSwander--3,366 words--Rated E--*Chanting* Egg kink-egg kink! But really this fic was birthed from the Obikin discord’s absolute obsession with oviposition/egg kink and Jesus Christ did Jo write it masterfully.This fic is not only unbelievably and scorchingly hot and just yanks at every string in my brain,but it’s also a wonderful combination of sexy and loving,which is my absolute favorite combo.Because sure Obi-Wan is capable of holding Anakin down and egging him speechless,but he’s tender about it,and it’s so beautifully written and everything I’ve ever wanted.

deep dive by amidnightlove--5,821 words--Rated E--And speaking of eggs lets throw in some shameless mermaid kink which had me all kinds of bent out of shape.This fic had no right to send me into the stratosphere like it did,but it was the perfect combination of mermaid kink,ovipositing,breeding kink,and that wonderful golden thread of loving/tenderness in Obikin fics that lights my brain up like a pinball machine.What it can be hot and they can almost cry during sex over having babies?!

hilt by Luckee--5,506 words--Rated E--This is one of those fics with such a seemingly cracky premise but Luckee literally always delivers and I worship everything she writes so of course I had to go and fall in love with it.Don’t be fooled by how ‘Oh Anakin’ the summary is,because this fic will tear your heart out and make you pine and hurt alongside him.It’s hot when it shouldn’t be,and when it’s not supposed to be hot you’re in tears from having every heartstring wound tight from yearning and desperation.Double whammy to every braincell I have for Anakin’s desperation combined with Obi-Wan’s service top vibes and gentle care AND suprise cockwarming.

Good Form by Ranianke--4,425 words--Rated E--(WIP)This fic *shakes fist* was a personal attack against my well being and hit so many of my kinks and Ids I felt called out reading it.But really I was promised filthy,shameless porn,and was delivered something more,because there is some astoundingly gorgeous writing in this to be a pornshot,with one of my all time favorite sequences for the pairing where Anakin seeks to reach perfection for Obi-Wan.It’s gorgeous, strangely moving and touching,beautiful to read,not to mention incredibly and wonderfully hot.

A Just Punishment by Achrya (Daiako)--8,482 words--Rated E--This fic hit so many things for me and really leans in on my shameless love for public humiliation for Anakin.Achrya really blends a lot of my favorite elements for the pair,Dom/Sub,Alpha/Omega,with some public discipline in the form of spanking,as well as some good ol’ fashioned embarrassment from being aroused in the first place.It does an excellent job playing with a lot of my favorite tropes,and ones we don’t see very often for this pairing,and it’s done so smartly and has just drawn me back to it time and time again.

Anakin/Padme/Obi-Wan

Charting Constellations Unseen by glimmerglanger--18,364 words--Rated E--This fic is just such a gorgeous slow burn of the triad slowly working through their feelings and finding one-another. I really enjoy long,ardous slow burns for this pairing,mostly because while I do love to ship it,I also think Anakin would have a lot to personally work through to reach an accord.Glimmer does such a wonderful job with this,and as I always love in their writing,doesn’t leave Padme out and writes her with such arresting sharpness and agency.

Exposure Therapy by Septemberist--10,183 words--Rated E--This fic does just...so many astounding things in 10k.Sure it’s incredibly,and I do mean incredibly hot.But it’s also a gorgeous and just wonderful character analysis of Anakin and illustrates him working through his jealousy and darker character traits,it also has him balancing on the breaking point while we are given a gorgeous scene of just Padme and Obi-Wan.It’s beautifully written,doesn’t feel like 10k at all for how you burn through it,and is such a deeply mesmerizing view of the characters,as well as being a deeply satisfying and ID pleasing threesome scene.This fic had me laid out on the floor feeling like I’d been clocked with a cinderblock,and takes me out every time I’ve reread it.

like a heathen (clung to homily) by jenmishe--13,486 words--Rated E--I love this fic not just for how extremely hot it is,but also for how truly funny and endearing of a read it is.Padme is such a fun and dynamic character in this story while Anakin is such a flaming disasterous mess,and it certainly doesn’t feel like 13k for how fast you delightedly burn through it.It’s sexy,it’s fun,but also it’s really heartfelt and a wonderful look at not just Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship, but Anakin and Padme’s as well.This fic,aside from the sexy times,gives me the warm fuzzies for how fun and playful a read it is.

Other Ships

Separate Ways by Pepper Prints (The Mandalorian/Luke Skywalker) 80,920 words--Rated E--I need you guys,and I mean really need,you to understand how much I fucking love this fic.This fic came highly recommended to me and Din/Luke wasn’t a ship that had crossed my mind,but let me tell you,it lives RENT FREE in my brain at all times now.This fic,is absolutely gorgeous and I turned around and reread it the day after I initially read it.The characterization for both Luke and Din is one of my absolute favorites and it’s a thousand kinds of arresting and endearing. I didn’t sleep the night I read it.I literally cried my eyes out and it’s not even sad,it’s just that loving and intimate and tender.This fic kicked me between the eyes and held me at gunpoint in a backstreet alley and now I don’t want anything else for these characters.The only thing I’ll say as a caveat for this story is that I do have some disagreements with how the Jedi are written,but I also think it’s easily written into Luke’s perception of them and how they are conceived after their demise.But that is not a hinderance of the fic’s worth,merely a sidenote for you guys with similar opinions of the Jedi as me.But I need every person I know to consume this fic so I can scream about it with others,because I don’t know if I’ve ever reached a finale scene in a fic and been so ready to have a full mental breakdown from the FEELS.

Sitrep: Tango Uniform by kaasknot (Bly/Aayla Secura)--8,143 words--Rated E-- I love this ship so so much and it honestly hurts my feelings there’s not more fics for it. (I say when I haven’t written anything for it yet.)I love the dynamic of Blyla and I really love the character voice that has developed for Bly within fandom and in fanfiction specifically. It’s incredibly fun and dynamic,and this fic is both wonderfully sexy and extremely funny.It’s bubbly and wonderfully gripping to read,with a good measure of situational humiliation to be absolutely delightful to me.

Flotsam and Jetsam by glimmerglanger (Cody/Obi-Wan)--53,831 words--Rated E (WIP)--I love all of glimmer’s Codywan fics,and theirs is probably my favorite for the ship,but this fic in particular has just clobbered me over the head with a brick.I am an absolute sucker for mermaid aus,why do you guys always gotta give me more kinks huh?But glimmer always does such a wonderful job of combining such intense pining for this pairing that I love.This fic is heartfelt and just breaks my soul in half from how wounded and scarred Obi-Wan is.It’s gorgeously written,a wonderful examination of Obi-Wan’s character,as well as a super fun and beautiful take on the mermaid trope.It’s ridiculously hot and just such a dynamic and enthralling read.

like a dark horse made of air by blackkat (John Antilles/Rex)--68,611 words--Rated E (WIP)-- Wondering who the hell John Antilles is?So did I,and after you look him up and give this fic a read you will be 100% ready to adopt this man.Blackkat is literally the only writer for this ship,be the change you want to see in the world,and it’s one you’ve never even conceived of but is all kinds of dynamic and interesting.This entire story’s premise is incredibly enthralling and is a great combination of time travel, excellent characterization of the clones,as well as a super super cool examination of the Jedi Order,but not just the main characters we see from the films.It also features a lot of Aayla,which is what drew me to the fic in the first place,with wonderful spotlights for characters like Quinlan Vos and Cody and Bly.

[elenathehun]

Watching the Clone Wars, part 2

Another week, another batch of episodes watched.  Some of these were (dare I say it) actually good, and some of these are rather bad.  Read on for the details of my opinion on “Clone Cadets”, “Supply Lines”, “Ambush”, the three-episode “Malevolence” arc, and “Rookies”. 

“Clone Cadets” (3x01)

This was very clearly a way to capitalize on the success of episode 1x06 “Rookies”, one of the top five episodes in the first season of TCW, providing background on the mostly-doomed Domino Squad.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t really warm up to it, even though I liked all the characters, and was excited to see 99 and Shaak Ti.  I think the core issue is that it was framed as a coming-of-age story, but coming-of-age stories imply agency.  No clone has agency in this war - or if they do, it’s something they have to carve out themselves.  Their entire existence is dependent on their martial performance, damn all their other qualities.  Success throws them into the meatgrinder of the war; failure dooms them to an ignomious existence as janitorial staff.  There is a lot a viewer can pick out regarding how physical disabilities are seen by the Kaminoans and the trainers, as well as how those values are transmitted to the clones, in 99′s story, as well as further hints of some kind of inter-clone caste system, but none of this is ever elaborated upon, at least in the episodes I recall.  

Either way, Domino’s “success” left a sour taste in my mouth.  TCW insists on portraying war as worthy and necessary, and in certain situations, that can be true.  But the Clone Wars is not one of those situations.

“Supply Lines” (3x03)

Another day, another episode where we see some cool characters die!  RIP Captain Keeli, you deserved better.  TCW did not have a military advisor, as the tactics used as abominable.  Like, I’m not asking for much, but hey, a little bit of mass fire wouldn’t go amiss, or even the use of an infantry square...  

There is sort of an interesting theme in this episode about the duty of the government to it’s people. Cham Syndulla is right to be upset that his people are being hung out to dry, but on the other hand...it happened to Naboo ten years previously.  It’s honestly surprising the Republic hasn’t fallen apart faster.  I’m rather neutral on the mission to Toydaria.  On one hand, it’s nice that Star Wars is trying their best to redeem Lucas’ very obvious and horrible stereotypes.  On the other hand...idk, Bail Organa vs Viceroy Gunray wasn’t really a great showing for what either side believes in? I’ve already forgotten most of it  

However, I feel like this is the first time I’ve ever seen Jar Jar Binks subvert his own reputation for good.  If he was always like this, he would be much better as a character.

“Ambush” (1x01)

This episode is mostly a showcase for Yoda, an 874-year-old murder machine.  This guy is basically a one-man army.  I like all the clone companions, and it was nice of him to give them a pep talk, but they were sort of superfluous to his reign of destruction, you know?  It would have been nice if we had seen the obvious end result of this natural-born killer fighting and beating Asajj Ventress.  Not really sure he actually has any mercy in him in the heat of the moment.

Boy, the writers are trying so hard to make these battle droids personable!  It’s should be funny, and it occasionally is, but it mostly leads to many questions about computer programming in the GFFA.  I like to think that Dooku has pulled a Krennic (or did Krennic pull a Dooku?) and he has a whole team of unwilling computer programmers writing the code for the droids, which is why they are so badly programmed. 

Of course, the  real answer is that Star Wars is space fantasy, and the real answer to the droids is magic!  Bad magic.  One might even say...incompetent magic.

“Rising Malevolence” (1x02)

I really intensely enjoyed this episode.  Finally, a superweapon that makes sense!  A giant ion cannon to be used against capital ships!  That’s actually brilliant.  Now, I have my quibbles with the design: since the CIS is mostly staffed by droids and drones, it doesn’t really makes sense for there to be a missive ship superstructure around the cannon.  It would make more sense for it to basically be like the old Legends Darksaber, which was basically the Death Star laser sans the battle station.  The ion cannon, repulsors and a hyperdrive, turbolaser emplacements and attached hangar bays for starfighter drones, as well as a screen of protective cruisers to defend the cannon against more maneuverable ships - that would make more sense.  But of course, it would have a much different silhouette in that case.

More truly graphic clone death.  Seeing several men get spaced is not PG, idek how this managed to get past the censors.  That is actually a real war crime, and I have no how parents explained this to Little Johnny and Sally (age six) when it aired on Cartoon Network.  And although I do love the relationship between Ahsoka and Plo, the central emotional question of the episode was left unresolved.  Who would come for a clone?  As it happens, a Jedi, but only if they’re looking for another Jedi :(

“Shadow of Malevolence” (1x03)

This was an OK-but-not-great episode?  Unfortunately, I read the X-wing novels multiple times as a pre-teen and teenager, so I have pretty high standards for starfighter combat and this didn’t really measure up to it.  I did love the space manta ray scene, though, it was very pretty.  Also a nice shout-out to the Y-wings, the perpetual butt of all the jokes in the X-wing series.

Again, I have no idea why “it’s a kid’s show!” was ever even tried as an excuse for the shoddy writing.  This is the third episode ever released, and the CIS is deliberately targeting a hospital.  Again, this is not appropriate for small children to watch!

On the bright side, a fun AU would be to play with the fact that this ion cannon apparently shorts out anything.  It would be pretty funny to see a story where the 30,000 walking wounded (I think) who were being medically evacuated, as well as Wolffe, Boost, and Sinker (plus Shadow 7, 8 and 10) are spread throughout the GAR when Order 66 comes through - and it doesn’t work for them, because the cannon shorted out their chips and no one realized.

Just a thought, that’s all.

“Destroy Malevolence” (1x04)

This episode mostly exists to show that Anakin will definitely put the greater good aside for the purpose of rescuing his main squeeze. I think it could have been cut for that reason alone.  Also to have some standard R2 and C-3PO hijinks, as well as Obi-Wan just being insufferable in general.  

Honestly, I would like this episode better if Padme was a Sith apprentice that Palpatine was trying to kill, that would at least make it more interesting.  Aside from that, it could have easily been cut.

“Rookies” (1x06)

This is definitely one of the better episodes of the first season.  Finally, Filoni gives the people what they want: an episode mostly dedicated to clones!  For a show about the clone wars, they’re in awfully short supply.  This was a nice war story, artfully executed.  I wouldn’t call it original, but honestly, originality is over-rated.  Cody and Rex are delightful as always, and unlike “The Hidden Enemy” (or “Clone Cadets” for that matter) it portrays clone relationships in a more positive, wholesome light.  

I also loved the droid commandos.  Kudos to the animators, who gave them a unique, more menacing walk and style.  However, I do dislike the continuing use of instantaneous communications through hyperspace even in star wars.  It’s a shame that the writers are either unwilling or unable to use the tension of time in their stories so far.

Next Week: “Downfall of a Droid”, “Duel of the Droids”, “Bombad Jedi”, “Cloak of Darkness”, “Lair of Grievous”, “Dooku Captured”, and “The Gungan General”.

[isitmadness]

A Handsome Stranger

story summary: Driving 1,300 miles in a truck with a complete stranger. This will be fine. This was what desperation will get you. Desperation and something akin to love-at-first-sight.

chapter summary: The strangers get to know one another. 

relationships: Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi

words: 3.2k

a/n: I liked the idea of these two idiots on a road trip in an AU/modern setting, so I wrote one. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

Read it on ao3

Part 1: A Handsome Stranger at the Airport

Part 2: The Handsome Strangers Talk

As they hurtled down the highway, Cody thought long and hard about what he had just done. Oh, his brothers were going to give him such a hard time about this.

“You did what? What the hell is wrong with you?” Boil’s voice, harsh and annoyed rang in his ears.

“Okay, but what did the guy look like? Was he cute?” Rex asked.

Boba just laughed, “Idiot. And here I thought you were the smart one.”

He wanted to tell them all to shut up and they hadn’t even berated him yet. At least he hadn’t given Waxer a chance to yell at him. Thank goodness for small mercies. He really didn’t know what had come over him. Could he even be sure the guy’s name was Ben?

“You know, you never really answered my question,” Ben said suddenly from Cody’s right. He looked over to find Ben studying him, a curious expression on his face.

“And what question was that then?”

“Why you were at the airport with a full moving truck.”

“Ah,” Cody nodded. He was impressed that Ben remembered that he never answered him. “I was saying goodbye to my brother, Waxer.”

Ben’s skeptical eyebrow returned. “Waxer?”

“Ahh...yeah, he’s got a chrome dome,” Cody chuckled. “He works for one of the other rental agencies there and he takes care of the cars, in addition to helping with rentals.”

Ben laughed, “A very descriptive nickname then. And I suppose that is a believable story. Seems too boring to be made up. So, is it just you and Waxer then?”

“Oh goodness no.” Cody wanted to laugh. He didn’t know why the thought of only one brother amused him, but it did. Perhaps it was because he was actually the oldest of five boys. He looked over and found Ben staring at him expectantly. Oh, gods, he was making conversation, he really wanted to know.

“I’m actually the oldest of five boys,” Cody added after some time. Ben’s eyes widened.

“Five? Wow...you all must have certainly given your parents a run for their money.” He smiled, but Cody thought he saw a hint of sadness there for a moment.

Cody cleared his throat, “Yes, I suppose you could say that. So, there’s me, Rex, a set of twins of which Waxer is a part, Boil is the other, and the youngest of us is Boba, the brat.”

Ben laughed, “They sound delightful. But, Boil? How does one get a nickname such as that?”

Cody chuckled to himself, he’d always found the nickname ridiculous, but it had stuck. “I actually don’t remember where he got his nickname, but he’s had it since he was a kid. I don’t think I could call him anything but Boil now.”

Ben smiled, “And you are all Maori?”

“We are! Most ask if I’m Australian. I’m sadly impressed when people can tell the difference, and annoyed when they can’t.”

“Well I’m glad I haven’t already made it on your annoyed side.”

“Speaking of accents...Scottish?”

Ben nodded then realized Cody couldn’t hear a nod. “Yes, from Perth. Though, after living everywhere BUT Scotland for so long, I’m afraid I’m losing most of it.”

“And do you have any siblings?”

Ben was silent for a moment. “Yes, one brother, Anakin.”

“And where do you fall in the annoying brother line?”

Ben laughed again, and for that Cody was oddly grateful. He was hesitant to ask personal questions about family, but surely Ben knew he didn’t have to answer them if he didn’t want to. “I am the annoying big brother. I am also the annoying dad. Anakin tells me so all the time.” Ah, perhaps that explained some of the sadness. “Anakin is almost a father himself now. He and his wife, Padme are expecting twins, and they’re due very soon. It’s one of the reasons why I’m trying to get back to Seattle so quickly.”

“Ah! Well, congratulations,” Cody looked over and smiled. “They’re going to have their hands full.”

“And Anakin himself is only 22! A kid having kids…” Ben shook his head. “I don’t know how this is going to go, but I know he loves Padme very much and seems to already be enthralled by the idea of the babies, so...”

“That’s certainly a challenge the first go ‘round, but I’m sure they’ll be grateful that you’re there, too.”

Ben smiled warmly and turned back to look out the passenger window, “I hope so.”

----

Half an hour turned into an hour and they rode in silence. He wasn’t sure what to make of Ben. He seemed kind, funny, sarcastic and easygoing, but at any given time, underneath there was a mote of sadness. At first, he wasn’t sure if Ben’s chattiness was his usual personality or nervousness. But he had gone silent 10 minutes ago now, and Cody couldn’t find anything else to say. He found himself wanting to get to know Ben better, but felt suddenly shy.

He looked over to find Ben’s eyes closed and his head resting on the back wall of the cab. Was he asleep? Cody was surprised at the amount of trust Ben displayed by falling asleep so easily next to a stranger. He tucked that away for later and turned the radio on low so he wouldn’t have to be totally alone with his thoughts.

He needed to keep his eyes on the road and not on the freckles dusting Ben’s cheeks and nose or the long eyelashes fluttering while Ben slept. Dammit. He would tuck that away for later as well.

----

Ben woke slowly, groggy and confused. Where was he? How’d he fall asleep so easily? He looked around and found himself sitting alone in the cab of a truck. What the hell? He opened the door and stumbled out, not quite realizing how far down he needed to step, and ran face-first into a gas pump.

“Shit!” Ben winced as he grabbed his face. He pulled his hand away to see blood on his fingers. “Oh, shit…”

“Ben, are you alright??” Cody was at his side instantly, he felt a warm hand on his right shoulder. Oh, that’s right...Cody. He hitched a ride with a complete stranger at the San Diego airport. And now it seemed he was bleeding? “Ben??”

Ben looked up at Cody and found him looking very worried. “How bad is it?”

“Well, it looks like you cut the bridge of your nose. How in the world did you manage that?” Ben could tell that he wanted to laugh.

“It’s okay, Cody, you can laugh,” Ben touched his nose again. “I can’t believe you found out so quickly how graceful I can be. I was hoping to keep that a secret as long as possible.”

Cody smiled, “Well at least it didn’t hurt your sense of humor.”

“No indeed. Only my nose and my pride.” Ben looked around. “But, uh, where are we? How long was I out?”

Cody finished pumping the gas and closed off the gas tank. “Why don’t we go inside and use their restroom? Get you cleaned up. You can’t let that go,” Cody said pointing to Ben’s face.

“Yes, of course, you’re right.”

Cody started to walk away but stopped when he felt a sudden tug on the back of his shirt. “Wh--?”

He turned around to find Ben holding his hand to his nose and smiling. “I need assistance, I clearly cannot get around on my own.” Cody couldn’t help but laugh.

----

Once inside, Cody collected first aid supplies, not quite believing that Ben managed to hurt himself so badly on their first stop. He hoped it wasn’t an indication of how the rest of the trip was going to go. They weren’t even to Los Angeles yet.

They gathered supplies and snacks and went to check out. “Do you have a restroom we could use?” Cody asked the attendant. “My friend here had a bit of an accident outside.”

The attendant took in Ben’s face and winced. “Yeah, of course.”

Ben and Cody finished checking out then went outside to find the restrooms. Ben was a bit horrified at his current circumstances. At a gas station in...who-knows-where...bleeding, on a road trip with a handsome stranger. This was why he was a failed writer - because he couldn’t come up with anything so ridiculous on his own.

Cody was washing his hands and wetting a paper towel when Ben asked about their location again. “We’re just outside Los Angeles now.”

“Oh, that’s it?” Ben asked, leaning next to the sink.

“How long did you think you were asleep?” Cody grinned and brought the wet paper towel up to Ben’s nose, hovering, asking silently if he could touch him. When he nodded, Cody pressed the paper towel to his nose gently and cleaned the cut. Ben hissed. “Sorry about that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Ben shrugged. He watched Cody’s face as he worked. This close he could see that, in addition to the jagged scar around his left eye, he also had several other scars across his forehead, cheeks and chin. Whatever horrible accident he had been through, he had seemed to heal well. And Ben found that the scars greatly added to his allure.

He winced again as Cody cleaned what he hoped was the last of the blood. “Almost done,” Cody confirmed as if reading his thoughts. He opened the antibiotic cream and bandages and set about finishing the first aid. Ben couldn’t stop thinking about how he got himself into such a ridiculous situation, but he needed to, otherwise awkwardness would take over and he’d insist that Cody leave him behind, and he’d just have to find another way to Seattle to avoid this intense embarrassment.

However, as Cody pressed the bandage into place, Ben’s embarrassment gave way to thoughts about warm, tender hands, and how he’d miss them when Cody was finished. And how they might feel on--

“There,” Cody said, interrupting Ben’s dangerous train of thought. “You’re almost as good as new. Except you also have a bit of blood on your sweater...just there.” Cody pointed to Ben’s collar bone. Ben turned to look in the mirror. With the exception of the bandage, he looked just the same, except maybe even more tired (despite the nap). But the sweater was going to have to go.

“Thank you, Cody,” Ben turned back and smiled at his road trip partner. He began to remove his sweater, his next question muffled, “Bet you didn’t think you’d have to be administering first aid, eh?”

“I have to admit, no I did not,” Cody laughed. Ben’s hair was all over the place. He wanted to reach out and fix it, but he kept his hands still. “But I’m no stranger to injuries and first aid, so you were in luck.”

“In more ways than one,” Ben smiled and turned back towards the mirror to fix his hair and clean his sweater. Cody kept his eyes fixed on Ben and decided to not think anything more about that throwaway comment.

“Well, if you’re done admiring your handsome visage, I actually need to use the restroom before we leave,” Cody said.

“Ah, yes, of course. I shall leave,” he said in the most awkward way possible.

He walked back to the truck and realized he didn’t have the key, so he stood on the passenger side and leaned against the door. He unbuttoned his shirt at both wrists and rolled up his sleeves, thinking about how quickly and how gently he took care of Ben and wondering why he had just called him handsome.

Ben shook his head and laughed at how ridiculous he was being. He knew next-to-nothing about Cody. He hadn’t mentioned a partner, but that certainly didn’t mean one didn’t exist. And there were many other factors that could keep him from being interested. He also felt the need to examine how easily he was able to trust this stranger and fall asleep next to him. That was certainly new.

“Okay then?” Ben jerked his head up at the sound of Cody’s voice. He pushed off from the side of the truck and nodded. Cody walked over to unlock the door, appreciating that Ben looked more comfortable now, less stuffy without his sweater and his sleeves rolled to the elbows. It was a good look. “Need a hand up?” Cody smirked.

“Ha. More like a...hand down next time. Like a queen exiting her fancy carriage.”

“Noted for the next stop,” Cody grinned.

Once inside the truck, Cody asked, “You think you have another five hours on the road in you? That will get us just outside San Jose, probably Monterey.”

“I’m game if you are.”

“You gonna fall asleep on me again?” Cody asked as he started the truck.

Ben sighed with a smile, “No promises, but I’m fairly certain that was it for my nap. I’m not always the best passenger. I guess I should have warned you upfront - sometimes I get car sickness when I’m not driving.”

“Oh, uh...yeah, I had no idea. Sleep if you need to! I was just joking.”

“Oh, no need to apologize! But if I seem a little off, I’m just trying to keep the contents of my stomach down, not that there’s much there in the first place.”

“That was a lovely mental image, Ben, thanks,” Cody laughed. “Do you need to drive instead? I guess I can switch places.”

“Would you mind terribly? That might help me.”

Cody hesitated, “Technically I’m the only one who’s supposed to drive, but...how would they even know?”

“Ohhh you, rule-breaker, you,” Ben said with a wink.

“Oh, fine, I’ll go around and you get in the driver’s seat.” Cody opened the door and hopped out, gracefully. Meanwhile, Ben slid across the bench into the driver’s seat. He and Cody got situated and he took off, leaving the site of his embarrassing injury behind.

It had been a long while since he had driven a large truck, but was pleased that it came back to him easily. There wasn’t much to it, but it wasn’t quite the same as driving a much smaller vehicle. He looked over at Cody and was horrified to find his seatbelt wasn’t on. “Your seat belt??” Ben asked without any preamble.

“Huh?” He looked at Ben, confused.

“Oh my g-- did you-- were you not wearing your seatbelt this entire time? Do you always go without your seatbelt?? Cody, how are you still alive?”

Cody was stunned, was Ben really chiding him like a mother hen? “I, uh…”

“As long as I’m driving, at the very least, please, for pete’s sake, put your seatbelt on,” Ben fussed.

Cody had to laugh as he pulled the belt across his chest, “Okay, mom.” It clicked into place. “There. Are you happy now?”

“Thank you, I’m satisfied.”

----

They were making better time than Cody expected, and it was because Ben was actually quite a fast driver. Cody now understood the insistence of the seatbelt.

He stayed awake and they had an easy-going and lovely conversation about many different things. Cody learned that Ben was a sociology professor and a (failed, his word) writer on the side. Which sort of explained some of his ramblings. Ben learned that Cody had been in the navy for most of his life and was a captain. He also learned that his move to the Kitsap naval base came with a promotion to commander. Ben was impressed.

They ran the gamut of other topics, from what music they liked (Ben: classical for writing and alternative rock for everything else, Cody: any kind of metal), to favorite foods, to stupid things they did in school, and stupid things their brothers did in school. When they began to talk about reading and writing, Ben became very animated, and Cody found himself quite taken with passionate Ben.

They stopped for dinner and another bathroom break a little further down the road, and Ben was pleased he managed to get out of the truck without any more incidents. He continued to drive and Cody took a quick post-dinner nap. Ben found it rather endearing that he snored, but he’d never dream of telling the man.

As they got closer to their final destination, Ben wondered what the room situation would be like and how much it would cost. He had never really been one to fly by the seat of his pants, especially where travel planning was concerned, despite saying yes so easily to Cody in the San Diego airport. The unknown element of their lodgings made him nervous.

“You know a place for us to stay? Or do you plan for us to pull over on the side of the road and sleep in the truck?” Ben asked it very tongue-in-cheek, but he was slightly worried that this might actually be his plan.

“Oh, yes!” Cody replied. “There’s a hotel I know of just off the interstate. My brother, Rex and I have stayed there before. It’s nice, clean and relatively cheap.”

Ben was about to make a completely idiotic joke about whether that was the name of Cody’s sex tape, but decided to keep his mouth shut. The man seemed to have a decent sense of humor, but he didn’t need to know how terrible Ben’s sense of humor could get just yet. Instead he opted for simple, “That sounds good. I am getting rather tired.”

“You know, if you’re tired of driving, you can tell me...at any time,” Cody said.

Ben nodded and yawned, as if on cue. “Oh yes, I know, but if we’re almost there, I can make it a bit further.”

They pulled into the hotel parking lot 30 minutes later, and Ben parked the truck successfully while Cody ran inside to check on some rooms. Rooms, plural, Ben hoped. He found himself already a bit attracted to the naval captain, so sharing a room would just be...probably not a good idea.

Ben gathered their overnight bags from the truck and walked into the hotel lobby just as Cody was finishing up. He walked over and handed him a key. “We’re on the second floor, right next to each other.”

Ben breathed a sigh of relief. “Sounds great.”

Once they reached their doors, Cody turned to Ben, “Think we could make it to Eugene tomorrow? It’s about 10 hours from here.”

Ben nodded, “I think we can try. What time should I be awake?”

“Maybe seven? If you’d like breakfast, that is,” Cody said with a grin. “Are you a morning person?”

He laughed, “Not exactly, but I will make it happen.”

“Okay then, we’ll try to leave by eight.” They both opened their doors and hesitated before going inside. “Goodnight, Ben. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight, Cody, you do the same,” Ben smiled. He watched as Cody disappeared into his room, but before he could close the door, Ben called his name.

Cody’s head appeared right outside the door, “Yeah?”

“I just, uh...thank you. For this.” Cody nodded, smiled, and disappeared once more, the door clicking softly behind him.

Ben walked in his room. It was rather nice and the bed looked incredibly inviting. He couldn’t wait to take a nice, warm shower and fall into a blissful slumber, and very pointedly not dream about a certain naval captain.

[dettiot]

Fic: Anakin vs. the Feelings

Title: Anakin vs. the Feelings Author: dettiot Summary: Anakin tries to cope with how he feels for Padme as their mission shifts.

Notes: Written for Anidala Week 2020, Day 7: Free Day. This is set just after my story Don’t Freak Out, which was a gender-swapped fusion of Star Wars and Chuck. I have a bit of a recap at the start of this fic, but if you’re not very familiar with Chuck, you might want to give the first story a read before this one. Find it on AO3 or on Tumblr!

XXX

Hi, I’m Padme, and here’s some things you might need to know. 

My life is filled with spies, car chases, computer-stealing ninjas and me saving the day. You see, everything changed when I got an email from my college best friend, Sabe. I thought she was an accountant from Connecticut--but Sabe had been working for the CIA when she stole a whole bunch of government secrets. Big, important secrets. Really scary, nasty, you-get-killed-for-having-them secrets. Next thing I know, these super secrets are downloaded into my brain. Which means every moment of my life is in danger.

Fortunately, the CIA sent their best agent to protect me: Anakin Skywalker. 

[montage of Anakin wearing a tuxedo, charming a woman at a cocktail party, taking out six bad guys effortlessly, looking at Padme and smiling] 

Yeah, I know. 

The NSA sent their best agent, too: Ben Kenobi.

[montage of Ben cleaning weapons, arguing with a roomful of terrorists, giving Padme a blank, judging look] 

Yeah, he’s . . . he’s not so nice. 

XXX

“You know this isn’t going to work.” 

Heaving a sigh, Anakin Skywalker, CIA Agent, did his best not to think about all the ways he could kill Ben Kenobi without breaking a sweat. 

It was a long list. Which gave him enough time to actually come up with some good reasons to counter Kenobi’s negativity. 

“Look, it’s just as easy to bring Dr. Zarnow here as it is to take Padme to him,” Anakin said. “The Ring is crawling all over D.C., looking for Sabe. This way, we keep Padme off their radar.” 

“That’s fairly cold, sacrificing the woman you used to be in love with,” Kenobi observed, an eyebrow going up as Anakin shifted his feet. “Because you weren’t just partners with Sabe, after all.” 

It was true: he wasn’t just partners with Sabe. But . . . they hadn’t been much more than partners in a long, long time. 

“Sabe betrayed the CIA by stealing the Intersect,” Anakin said, gathering some papers so he could hide his face from Kenobi’s piercing stare. “ Padme is a civilian. And a good person. She helped save General Stanfield when she didn’t have to. And all she’s asking is that we let her stay with her friends and family. It seemed like a fair trade-off to me.” 

Kenobi tutted. “Intelligence agencies generally aren’t interested in fairness. But Yoda agreed with your crazy plan, so I’ll back you.” 

“Thanks,” Anakin said, holding the papers against his chest, his arms folded over them. 

“Don’t thank me. I’m just doing my job.” 

The tone of Kenobi’s voice made it clear he thought Anakin wasn’t, which annoyed the hell out of him. But he had spent a long, long time holding his emotions in--and he wasn’t going to stop now. 

So when Kenobi saw he hadn’t gotten a reaction, he grunted softly and left their quasi-office, also known as the home theater room at the Buy More. 

He was probably going to his hotel, sharpening some knives or something. Not that Anakin didn’t have his own weapons to take care of, but . . . 

Sinking down on the sofa, Anakin dropped the papers on the coffee table and leaned back, trying to get his thoughts straight. 

His thoughts and his emotions. 

If there was an agent he thought would turn out to be a traitor, Sabe wouldn’t have been his pick. She was smart, determined, dedicated. But also guarded, secretive, and slightly too prone to violence. 

But even if she was a traitor, he wouldn’t have expected her to draw an innocent person into her web. But that was what Padme was: innocent. 

It bothered him, seeing Padme involved in all this. Anakin couldn’t remember the last time he had so much contact with a civilian. He would have thought it would be boring. Grating. He had long ago accepted that his job meant sacrifice, meant keeping people safe so they could go about their normal, everyday lives. 

But spending time with Padme . . . it wasn’t boring. There was something about her--a glow. She looked like Sabe, just shorter, but she was also so different from Sabe. 

She was the last person he could imagine fitting into his life of secrets and shifting loyalties. He hoped Dr. Zarnow would be able to get the Intersect out of Padme’s head, so her life could go back to normal. 

And he would be back to his normal life, traveling all over the world and kicking ass and . . . 

Anakin shook his head. That was what he wanted: to get the hell out of Burbank and back to work. 

XXX

There was something about Dr. Zarnow that Anakin didn’t like. The man came off as too glib. But it didn’t really matter what Anakin thought of him--not as long as he could extract the Intersect from Padme’s mind. 

He stood at the Nerd Herd desk with Kenobi and Zarnow, listening to Padme and watching her on the cameras as she went through the testing to confirm the presence of the Intersect. Which seemed stupid to Anakin, but he hadn’t been asked. 

“Amazing,” Zarnow breathed out. “The amount of data inside her head . . . how has she not injured herself?” 

Injured herself? What? The Intersect was supposed to be safe--before Sabe had stolen it, it had been slated for implementation. Would the CIA and NSA endanger an agent by frying their brain? 

And did that mean that Padme could--

Giving himself a bit of a shake, Anakin said, “So you can remove the Intersect from the subject’s mind?” 

“Oh, yes. Quite easily. As soon as tomorrow night.” 

Anakin looked at Kenobi, who nodded. “All right,” Anakin said, looking at Zarnow. “Agent Kenobi will take you back to your hotel. We’ll pick you up tomorrow night at ten.” 

“Agree,” the doctor said, shaking Anakin’s hand before Kenobi escorted him out. 

As he watched them walk away, he wondered at the strange feeling he had. What made him not trust Zarnow? There was absolutely nothing to say the doctor wasn’t to be trusted, but Anakin couldn’t help it. Sometimes, you just had to work on a gut feeling. It was what made him trust Kenobi, even though they barely agreed on anything.

It was his gut that made him trust Padme.

His eyes were drawn to the video screen, watching Padme. She was rubbing her temples, her shoulders hunched. When her hands fell from her face, it was easy to see the strain from the flashes. 

The last thing he should be doing was staring at Padme, letting her hurt, when he should be taking her home and putting her mind at ease. After all, she would be excited to know that soon, this nightmare would be over for her. She could be safe, her loved ones would be safe, and she would never again have to think about Agent Anakin Skywalker. 

And why did that make something inside him twist?

Shoving all the unhelpful emotions aside, Anakin stepped over to the home theater room. “Okay?” 

Padme nodded, her face pale. “Yeah . . . did I do all right?” 

“You did great,” Anakin said, reassuring her. “In fact, Dr. Zarnow thinks by this time tomorrow, you’ll be free of the Intersect.” 

“Really? Wow,” Padme said softly, her soft brown eyes locked on his for a long moment before she looked away. 

What was going through her mind? Gratitude, probably. Relief. 

Or . . . could she be sad about an end to all of this? Seeing the last of him?

A sarcastic voice inside his head snorted. “Yeah, right, Skywalker.”

“This is a good thing,” Anakin said, not sure whether he was trying to make her feel better or himself. 

“Yeah--yeah, of course,” Padme said. “Um, what time? Sola wanted to have dinner as a family. And . . .” 

Anakin looked at her, noticing how she was gnawing a little on her lower lip. “What is it?” he asked softly, lowering his head a little to be closer to her.

“She said I should invite you,” Padme said, looking up at him. “I mean--I can tell her you can’t make it--”

“No,” Anakin interrupted quickly. “I can be there. I mean, I have to eat, and--and I’ll have to pick you up anyway, so . . .” 

A soft, dazzling, disbelieving smile lit up Padme’s whole face. “Really?” 

He had to swallow before he could reply. “Really.” 

“Oh, thank you! I mean, I know you’ll be leaving as soon as the Intersect is out of my head, but it’s made Sola really happy to think I’m dating someone,” Padme said. “And she’s kinda mad that Jar-Jar had met you even before she heard about you. You’re saving my life.” 

“No problem,” Anakin said, leading Padme out of the store and to his Porsche. 

Padme kept chattering as he drove her home. Anakin stayed silent, trying to figure out the odd feeling going through him. It wasn’t until he was nearly to his hotel that he realized what it was. 

Sadness. 

XXX

Grimacing, Anakin used the toe of his boot to push aside a burned clump of metal and plastic, then turned to look at the remains of a late-model sedan. 

“You’re sure Zarnow was in the car?” 

“Security cameras show him driving away from his hotel in this car,” Kenobi said, drawing up beside Anakin. “Looks like the good doctor wanted to do some sightseeing and ran off the road.” 

“But why?” Anakin asked, not really talking to Kenobi. He walked around the burned-out car, moving past crime scene techs. He nearly stepped on another piece of plastic, but something made him stop at the last moment. 

“Kenobi!” he said, crouching down and pulling out a pen to push at the object. 

“A cell phone?” Kenobi asked from behind and above him. 

Anakin nodded, turning over the phone. “How much you want to bet there’s explosive residue on this?” 

“No bet,” Kenobi said, folding his arms over his chest. “I never bet on a sure thing. So someone wanted to kill Zarnow.” 

“Looks like it,” Anakin said, before his head jerked up to meet Kenobi’s eyes. “Padme.” 

Kenobi’s eyes widened, and then in one movement, they each began running towards their cars. 

XXX

When Padme opened the door of the apartment she shared with Sola and her husband, her eyes widened. “Anakin!” 

“Hi, hi, sorry I’m late!” he said quickly, leaning down and kissing her cheek. He held the bouquet of flowers in his hand out to her. “These are for you. I brought wine, too.” 

“Oh . . . thanks,” she said, still looking surprised. She put her hand on his chest and pushed him out of the apartment a few steps. “I thought, with the doctor being dead--” she whispered, glancing back towards her sister and brother-in-law. “I thought you weren’t coming,” she said.

“I’ll explain later,” Anakin said, desperate to get her inside. To get her under cover, away from anyone with a sniper rifle who wanted to take her out. 

His stomach had been churning for the last hour, ever since he realized that anyone who killed Zarnow might want to move against Padme. Making himself stop at his hotel and change into a suit and button-down shirt, getting flowers and wine--doing everything to play the part of a boyfriend meeting her family--had been agony. Because whenever he thought of Padme with a hole between her eyes . . . 

Padme looked confused, but she rolled with the punches. “All right. Come on in and meet everyone.” 

Nodding, Anakin rested his hand on Padme’s back, feeling her warmth through her soft dress. He stepped inside the apartment, feeling instantly welcomed. Padme’s sister, Sola, and her husband Darred were both nice people. Jar-Jar was a little strange, but he was Padme’s best friend. 

It all felt so . . . normal. Passing over the bottle of wine, exchanging small talk with Darred, watching Sola and Padme talk in the kitchen. Padme’s cheeks flushed at whatever her sister said, and Anakin wondered what they were talking about. 

A knock on the door made Anakin tense. Darred called out cheerfully, “I’ve got it!” and had the door open before Anakin could get into position. He relaxed slightly when he saw Kenobi, although he still felt a spike of annoyance at the older man not trusting him to protect Pamde adequately. 

“Hello there!” Kenobi said with a genial smile. “I’m Ben, a coworker of Padme’s. She invited me over for dinner, and I brought one of my famous chocolate souffles for the occasion.” 

Anakin blinked. Well, he hadn’t seen that coming. 

“C’mon in!” Darred said brightly. “Any friend of Padme’s, etc. etc. I’m Darred, Padme’s brother-in-law. That’s Anakin, her boyfriend, although as if you don’t know! Padme talks about him all the time, am I right?” 

“All the time,” Kenobi agreed, smirking at Anakin.

He gripped his glass of wine tightly and tried not to blow his cover. 

“And right over here is Sola, the light of my life,” Darred said, introducing Kenobi to her. “This is one of Padme’s coworkers, babe.” 

“What are you doin’ here, Ben?” Jar-Jar asked, sounding suspicious. 

“Oh!” Padme said loudly. “Silly me. I forgot I invited Ben. Let me take that souffle from you--doesn’t it smell great?--and we’ll get you some wine.” 

And here he thought Padme could roll with the punches. She certainly was thrown by Kenobi’s arrival. Although Anakin couldn’t blame her for that--he would be confused by Kenobi just showing up, too. Especially with how he was acting. 

Somehow, they all got through dinner, souffle and all. All too soon, Sola shooed Padme out of the apartment, telling her to walk Anakin to his car. 

Echo Park was quiet as they stepped out into the courtyard. “So what happens now?” Padme asked him as soon as the door closed behind them. 

“I don’t know,” Anakin said with a sigh. “Dr. Zarnow was the only one who could remove the Intersect.” 

Padme scuffed the toe of her flat against the ground. “So . . . is it time for the bunker?” 

“No, Padme,” he said, turning to face her. “I’ll figure something out. Something that will let you stay here. I promise.” 

In the moonlight, her eyes were luminous. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

Anakin opened his mouth, wanting to make all kinds of promises to her. Promises that went against everything he thought he wanted. 

But then he felt a sting against his neck. Padme’s eyes widened, and then she lifted a hand to her neck. “What . . .?” she slurred. 

There was just enough time to see her hand drop, revealing a tranquilizer dart in her neck, before Anakin felt the same drug run through his system. Then his eyes closed and everything went dark. 

XXX

If there was one thing Anakin Skywalker hated, it was waking up after being drugged. 

Correction: waking up after being drugged and finding himself chained up. 

Grimacing at the cuffs around his wrists, Anakin yanked again, trying to break the chain loose from the ceiling. But it was no good: this setup was solid. And the cuffs were latched so tightly around his wrists, he didn’t think breaking his thumbs would let him get free. 

He ran his hands up the chains, then jumped, bringing his feet up. If he could brace against the ceiling, he could definitely get the chains loose . . . 

But even at just over six feet tall, his legs weren’t long enough for him to reach the ceiling. 

His curse was muffled, thanks to the duct tape over his mouth. Anakin dropped back to the ground and made his peace with waiting. 

Padme!

The thought of her made the last fog of the tranquilizer clear his mind. Looking around quickly, Anakin realized she wasn’t here. There weren't any other restraints in view, so . . . where was she? 

Anakin yanked again on his chains, trying to get free. He had to find her--he had to protect her! 

It felt like the chains were looser, but before he could try again, the door of the dark warehouse slid open, revealing a small woman in a soft dress. 

“Padme!” he barked against the duct tape. “What are you doing here?” 

And why was he talking with the gag over his mouth? Maybe it was how angry he was at her being here. Because what the hell was she thinking?

She hurried up to him. “I know, I know, just shut up!” She reached up for the edge of the duct tape and winced. “Sorry!” 

Then she yanked the tape off cleanly. 

He grimaced at the sticky residue and the pain, then shook his head. “What are you thinking?” he hissed. “Go home!” 

“No!” Padme said. “When I woke up, I flashed--Dr. Zarnow has been working with North Korea. He faked his death to throw you and Kenobi off the scent.” 

“So he could take you and sell you to the highest bidder!” Anakin said angrily, glaring at Padme. “And so you came running after me?” 

Padme glowered back at him. “I had to! You were in trouble!” 

God, her desire to protect people was going to get her killed!

“I can take care of myself,” he said firmly. “Before Zarnow or anyone else shows you, you’re going back to the car. That’s an order, Padme.” 

“Good thing I don’t take orders from you!” Padme said. A sound from outside made them both look in that direction, then Padme gave him an apologetic look. She plastered the duct tape back over his mouth before he could say anything more.

It was wrong to be . . . a little bit impressed, right? To admire how strong and determined she was, even when she was doing incredibly idiotic things?

She looked around and found a rusty crowbar, then hurried over to one side of the door, crouching in the shadows. He could see her readying the crowbar, even as he mentally tried to tell her to run, to get out of here. 

And then Kenobi stepped through the door and Padme lifted her weapon to strike, only to stop just in time. “Kenobi!” she cried.

“Yes, yes, it’s me,” he said, holstering his gun. “C’mon. I’ve got Zarnow locked up in the car. We gotta get out of here.” 

Kenobi showed no problem with yanking the duct tape off Anakin’s mouth. The older man smirked at him. “Nice job, bein’ bait.” 

Anakin shook his head. “Thanks, I guess. How did you find me in the first place?” 

“Trackers in the souffle,” Kenobi said. He reached up, wrapping his hands around the chains. “On three.” 

Together, they pulled the chains free and within a few moments, they were all in Kenobi’s SUV, Zarnow unconscious, bound and gagged in the back seat. 

Rubbing a hand over his face, Anakin looked back at Padme. “Are you all right?” 

She nodded. “I’m fine. Kenobi found me, and then we found you. He took care of Zarnow while I looked for you.” 

“I can’t believe you brought her with you,” Anakin grumbled to Kenobi.

“And leave her passed out in the courtyard? She woke up in the car on the way,” Kenobi grumbled right back. “Not my fault she’s got a scary-fast recovery period for such a little shrimp.”

“I’m right here, you know,” Padme said in annoyance. 

Anakin turned in his seat to really look at her. “Yes, you are. But it was luck alone that allowed everything to work out. If this arrangement is going to continue, you have to listen to Kenobi and I.” 

Padme’s eyes flashed. “Or you could teach me how to take care of myself.” 

What? There was no way Padme could defend herself. She was so small, so soft . . . 

“It’s not the worst idea,” Kenobi said. 

“Kenobi!” Anakin said in shock, staring at the NSA agent. “You can’t be serious.” 

“And why can’t he be serious?” Padme asked, sounding hurt. “No one would expect me to know what to do in a fight.” 

Kenobi nodded as he parked outside the apartment complex. “She’s right. Being a damsel in distress only works in fairy tales.” He looked back at Padme. “We won’t go easy on you.” 

She lifted her chin, her jaw set. “Give me your worst.” 

“I haven’t agreed to this!” Anakin protested. “And I doubt Yoda will agree, either.” 

“Then we won’t tell him,” Kenobi said smugly. “C’mon, Skywalker--afraid that the girl will kick your ass?” 

Anakin grimaced. He could care less about Padme, or any woman, beating him in a fight. But Padme . . . she wasn’t cut out for this. She was normal, a civilian. She shouldn’t have to defend her life with punches and kicks.

But then he looked at her. At the hope in her eyes, at the courage in her face and body. And he knew he couldn’t stand in her way. 

He had a feeling he would never be able to tell her no.

It was another strange, unique feeling that Padme brought out in him. 

With a sigh, Anakin nodded. “All right.” 

Padme’s face lit up with one of those smiles he would kill to get. “Thank you! Thank you!” 

“All right,” Kenobi interjected. “Get inside. It’s late. See you tomorrow, Amidala.” 

She gave them both another bright smile before hopping out of the car and hurrying into her apartment. 

“This isn’t the right thing to do,” Anakin said quietly.

“It isn’t the right thing for you,” Kenobi corrected. “But then, it doesn’t matter what either of us want--it’s about what she wants,” he said. 

And Anakin couldn’t argue with Kenobi on that. 

He would do everything in his power to give Padme what she wanted. No matter what it was--he wanted to give her everything. 

Even if it broke his heart to do so.

End.

[trishvaylar]

As a lifelong fan of Star Wars, I have read and still read tones of SW-related fanfic in every language I know. And I remember one comedy gold one short fanfic, named Blood will out, about Padme surviving, trying to raise her twins with Kenobi, but when the twins are five and being fans of Vader and always playing a game Hunt the Jedi, Padme sends the kids to their father with a note - "they are your kids, deal with them yourself". When Vader comes back to the Empirial Palace, he finds out that the Emperor was babysitting Vader's twins and they were playing Hunt the Jedi, where Shiv was the jedi. It is hilariously funny and when I thought of it yesterday, I thought to apply the same idea to the Blacklist and this is the result of my efforts:

The call of blood.

Kate Kaplan looked into Raymond Reddington's eyes, collected herself, gathered all her courage and said with conviction and resolution:

"I want to stay with Masha...Lizzy...and Sam. He already agreed to let me stay with the child and together we would raise her with at least a samblance of normal family. You are on your own building your criminal empire, but I implore you to stay away from us and give Lizzy a chance...Please!"

For a moment she was sure he was going to say "no", but then he noded and said:

"Well, maybe that is the best course of action. Stay. She would need a Mother".

Kate noded in relief. Now her real life could begin. And neither she nor Sam would ever tell Lizzy of her connection to Raymond Reddington. Then she would grow to be an ordinary, normal, wholesome person.

Six years later.

"Where is Liz?", asked Kate while quietly dining with Sam, whom she considered now to be her brother.

"As usual, hanging out with her teenage gang of so called friends, stealing apples from other people's gardens, feeding stray dogs, exploring rooftops..."

"It is already ten p.m., she promised to be home at nine".

"Kate, you know better then to believe her promises. She would say anything we want to hear, then do exactly what and how she wants it to be".

"Yes, I know that", Kate confirmed exasperatedly, shaking her head. "That girl is trouble. Maybe we should..."

"What? Maybe you should what, exactly?" - a voice sounded right behind Kate and there was Liz, flushed, with fire in her eyes, and hands on her hips. "What are you gonno threaten me with this time? With a big bad grey wolf coming at midnight to my room and kidnapping me? Bet that would be exiting!"

"No", said Kate after short consideration. "If you are not on your best behaviour by tomorrow night, the big bad Raymond Reddington, of whome we heard today on the news, will come and grab you and..."

Kate stopped short when she noticed a mischivious gleam in Liz' eyes.

"Raymond Reddington would grab me? Really? Then there is no chance I am going to behave. He is the one with a trully exiting life. That is what I want to be when I grow up, a criminal mastermind, with all those agencies after me, an ellusive myth...wow, that is life!"

Sam facepalmed, Kate rolled her eyes. It was getting worse by the minute.

Kate tried again and Sam backed her up:

"Being constantly on the run with the risk of dying?"

"SO WHAT! At least I won't be bored to death during a pointless math class, and I bet Reddington would love to explore the rooftops. And I won't need to feel guilty about, well, anything!"

And this was when both Kate and Sam had given up. Blood, that's what matters.

On the next day Red had got a letter from Kate and Sam, with just one line in it:

"Please come and collect YOUR DAUGHTER".

It was eleven p.m. when Red walked into Sam's house, thinking that Liz must already be asleep and he would have to wait until morning before they decided anything.

He was wrong. Liz wasn't sleeping. Behind the closed door of her bedroom Red heard her voice, raised and almost histerical:

"You both lied to me! I was on my worst behaviour, I didn't brush my teeth or cleaned my face, I missed school, me and my friends, we explored the highest rooftops, and now...it is just you two here. You lied about the wolf and now you are lying about Reddington..."

She was cut off midsentence, because at that moment Red pushed the door and it opened, welcoming him inside.

First Liz oggled him, then she gave a squil of exitement, followed by repeated "you came, you came!", and there she was jumping up, hugging him round the neck and wispering imploringly into his ear:

"You have come to take me away to lead an exiting life of outlaws together?"

And at that moment both Sam and Kate have given up. Because how could they fight the call of blood.

#The Blacklist #The Blacklist Fanfic #A short story #Comedy #SW emulated idea #Rederina #Raymond Reddington #Kate Kaplan #Sam #Lizzy #The call of blood #my fanfic #then they would a team of double menace 😇

[elained1]

Skywalkers: and the lack of support for the Mother/child in the SW universe

So I guess I’m writing a meta? Is that what this is called?

Let’s think back to 2012 when Disney purchased Lucasfilm. If I were to put myself in the shoes of someone who had a say in how to continue the Skywalker saga, or to wrap it up, here’s my take on what I would do based on what has been done. And this is taking into account just one of the overarching themes we’ve been presented thus far in the Star Wars movies (and I’m kinda going from movies alone here because that is what I’m most familiar with); that is, the failure of the mother/child relationship.

Example 1: Anakin/Shmi.

The prequels were the tale of Anakins’ i.e. the Chosen Ones’ fall to the dark side. I love how this story was executed, if not all of the dialogue and plot points (insert cheesy/awful romantic dialogue here). His major turning point is the death of his mother (slaughter of the sand people including non-combatants) and I think most would agree in the saying that if Anakin had his mother around, or at least kept in touch with her, he probably would have been able to keep a better handle on his life. She encourages him, comforts him, wants the best for him, all that good mother stuff. Even to the point of relinquishing him to Qui-Gon, a dude she barely knows who ends up being killed like 3 days later, and a Jedi Order of which she probably knows little about save for the fact that they are the “good guys” who can give him a better life. So this was definitely a failing of the Jedi order I think. When thinking about the “chosen one” and how much importance Qui-Gon and later Obi-Wan seems to put on it, one would think that the “mother of the chosen one” would accord you at least some status. Or some impetus to rescue from a backwater planet, from the control a literal nobody slaver (Watto), himself who is a complete side note to the larger universe. Why leave here there, practically presumably to die, when she is the one with the most key insight into Anakin as a person and the one most invested in his future? I digress. Jedi Order/SW universe gets -100 points for this.

Example 2: Padme/Luke/Leia.

Here is our second example of how this universe fails mothers, and their children. Padme/Queen Amidala was my absolute FAVORITE character in Ep. 1. She is BADASS. She has AGENCY. She does shit, fools everyone, isn’t afraid to make waves, and goes against the advice of practically every male character in the movie in order to accomplish her goals. She humbles herself, self-sacrifices, and uses all the tools at her disposal to save her people. And she’s like supposedly 14 (eye roll but whatever I don’t know why they couldn’t have made Anakin and Padme both like 18 in this movie and it still would’ve worked) The people of Naboo wanted her to stay as queen for as many terms as possible and wanted to change the constitution to keep her in power, but she refused that and became a badass senator. Now AoTC rolls around, and yes she still has agency, and I wish someone had talked George into writing better dialogue for those two because all the elements of a good love story were in the plot, but she still kicks ass and takes charge, making her own decisions and entering into a “forbidden” marriage (at least from the jedi standpoint) of her own free will. Then RoTS rolls around, and she’s pregnant.

This is when everything falls apart. For practically the whole movie, she sits around and waits for Anakin, and is a literally plot device for his fall. SIGH. Why on earth would the current queen of Naboo care if Padme was pregnant out of wedlock (from their point of view)? Is this the pre-1950s? Why couldn’t she keep being a senator if she wanted? She can’t have a nursery built next to her senatorial office and some nannies if she wants? For heaven’s sake the lady liberated Naboo and is a heroine she should be able to have her cake and eat it too if she wants, and retire to Lake Country. And yet her pregnancy is viewed as such a negative thing for her career-wise/in general in that movie. Let’s not mention the fact that apparently sonography is also not around cause she somehow doesn’t know she’s carrying twins? Were any women/medical professionals consulted at all during the writing/directing of this film? Anyway. Then we reach her death due to a “broken heart” I guess even I think we all know this mama bear fierce lady would fight tooth and nail for her children, just as she did her planet. I really wish they would make it canon that Palpatine somehow transferred her life essence out of her with the force, because really that’s the only plausible reason I can accept for her death. So: SW Universe -1000 for this one.

Example 3: Leia/Ben

Third time is the charm right? Not. Man this poor family. So your dad is Darth Vader, and you’ve got the force yourself, you’re rebellion icon/leader, Princess, Huttslayer, basically all around Badass that is Princess Leia. Post fall of the Empire, which is accomplished in your, what? Twenties? You’re interested in a political career and the future of the galaxy. Your man is usually pretty reliable when it counts. And here again you have a brother indoctrinated into all those Jedi ways and you would think would be able to help you if you have a force sensitive kid and yet, the SW universe fails you again. I mean, obviously these movies wouldn’t exist if these relationships weren’t tragic.

But how freaking tragic is it that this badass powerful woman falls pregnant, and then has her poor baby is TARGETED in the womb (what I’ve gathered from tumblr since I haven’t read the books), and no one can figure this out/sufficiently protect this kid??? To be honest I never really thought the Han/Leia pairing would work out that well, and I wasn’t a huge fan of her being made Luke’s sister in ROTJ. I wanted Luke to get the princess when I was 6, shoot me. Anyway. Regardless. The SW Universe fails again to provide this mom what she needs to have a supportive relationship with her son. He was left with droids a lot. Didn’t one try to freaking murder him once? Wtf? He couldn’t come with her to senate meetings? He didn’t have a non-hackable non-human nanny to keep him close to his mom when she was embroiled in debates? Dad couldn’t have dialed in more via skype/hologram? You would think she’d have a freaking staff entourage that would travel with her all the time and keep him close like the royal she is. Han couldn’t take him out on the Falcon with Chewie when she had a particularly busy week? Sigh. Again. No balance between career/being a mother seems achievable, despite this being some super advanced technologically universe. I guess that’s why it’s a long time ago in a galaxy far far away? SW Universe -10000 for this failure.

So this brings me to how I would really love how this Skywalker family to end up. First off I want happiness for Leia. Familial happiness, which means either Ben redeems himself and comes home to her (good lord if this happens somehow I will be a sobbing mess). She could also practically adopt Rey, which I hope does happen. The best way for this to happen? As I have said, Ben redeems himself (hopefully not as a last ditch thing ala vader) and then LIVES, in order to atone and rebuild. I hope Leia knows this or witnesses this, and that she doesn’t die without knowing it which would reduce me to tears even more. Rey,is adopted as Leia’s daughter, and welcomed into the family BEFORE any whiff of relationship between her and Ben which I think has already happened. Anyway this becomes even more solidified due to her either implied will happen or does in the movie happen marriage to Ben. Honestly folks I know Rey is an amazing female character and a strong person but she is also flawed too and the one who has caused her to grow and face her flaws? Ben. The one who is her opposite but ideally suited for her future life as a force user? Ben. The one ideally placed to understand her and her trials? Ben. He is her helpmeet people. Through them, the legacy of a POSITIVE Jedi Order can continue. Ben knows the hypocrisy and flaws of the old ways, and Rey does too. They can make a new order/legacy. And you had better BET that the man who felt abandoned by his family as a youth, and the woman who was literally abandoned by hers, would be taking good care of their children and finding a balance between work/life. If Lucasfilm is really putting forward a strong female protagonist, which I have to believe they are, they can show her as flawed as well (they have), they can show her as being powerful and having agency in and of herself, they can show her choosing to have a romantic relationship (if she chooses) without weakening her character and for ONCE I would also like it if they could show that you can have your own life path and also blend that with motherhood/family if you so choose. C’mon Lucasfilm and Kathleen Kennedy!!! I’ll have been waiting 27 years for this!!!! Anyway that is all for my Sunday morning rambling.

[counterspelling]

7, 11, 12, 21

favorite outfitLeia's Hoth outfit or Padme's Geonosis outfit before the nexu inexplicably turns it into a crop top. George. Getting clawed across the back does not somehow create a crop top. It just doesn't. And Padme’s lake dress, and Sabe’s black Amidala dress. Really all of Padme and Amidala’s wardrobe lmao. Also love Ahsoka's CW outfit after she gets out of the dumb bikini top, and Jaina's black flightsuit

the antagonist you can sympathize withEh, I mean, Jacen, sort of? Not as much as Anakin and god, reading his povs makes me SO ANGRY, but he was a teenage pacifist who was morally compelled to join the worst war the galaxy had ever seen in its recorded history, watched his younger brother die, killed who knows how many people.... still not an excuse and I waited so, so, so long for Jaina to finally take him out because god, he got SO FUCKING INFURIATING. But. There were reasons, even if it’s still dumb that he went dark side

the antagonist you absolutely cannot sympathize withKyle Ron. We wasted two fucking movies on "can this grown white male nazi be redeemed" and, shockingly, no, he can't. He CONTINUALLY chooses to be a nazi, to murder untold millions, to gaslight and terrorize Rey, to MURDER HIS OWN FATHER. It's so fucking stupid. Just let me watch Rey murder him. Not everyone can be saved. Also every single eu villain, the povs we have to suffer through, ugh. The fact that TLJ shifted the entire fucking narrative from being the first trilogy not about a white dude, to take away all agency and characterization from the first female and poc leads, just to prop up the fucking nazi........... it’s unforgivable

which character would you give more material simply for your own enjoyment?Winter!!!! Eternally ignored by everyone but Zahn and me, even though she's Leia's sister and one of the best spies the rebellion had!! Give me the only prequel that truly makes sense, a teen Leia interning for Bail through her progression to senator, starring Leia and Winter as sister-spies and being guided by Mon and Bail and Breha and it WRITES ITSELF. Intrigue, politics, the inevitable run-ins with her dad and Palaptine, why does this not exist!!! Give Leia her sister back 2kforever!!!! Alternately, where is my book about Sabe’s journey after Padme’s death??? Or the young jedi knights-style series about Padme and her handmaidens??? Come on, Disney

[jakey-beefed-it]

i have seen some takes in the past couple days with regard to people who criticize The Last Jedi that are... well, maybe they’re not bad, maybe they do apply to some of the most toxic parts of the Star Wars fandom. But they wildly miss why I found it somewhat jarring. I’m gonna do this as calmly and reasonably and diplomatically as I know how, because I know tempers are high on this one.

A short summary of my problems with TLJ:

1.) Not enough Finn. I can be charitable and not speculate as to why they sidelined him, but as a critical part of the first movie in the trilogy, his role felt greatly reduced in this movie and I feel like it hurt the film overall and was disappointing to everyone who, like me, have a lot invested in Finn and his story. Biggest issue: when will Finn’s agency return from war.

2.) Character regression for Luke. The man who threw away his lightsaber rather than continue to fight his father, rather than give in to the (righteous!) anger within and ‘strike [the Empreor] down’. We can argue all day about whether the extremely pacifistic morality implied there is what the Light Side should be, but it’s certainly what Luke decided was the correct moral path. At the beginning of RotJ, Luke’s force-choking gammoreans and dressing like his dad, okay, sure. But by the end? He’s come around entirely.

While people in real life regularly take two steps forward and one step back in their moral development (and that’s if they’re trying to be better), these films are not real life. They’re mythology; practically allegory. To have Luke regress so far to even consider striking down an unarmed student while he’s asleep is huge whiplash for me. Ostensibly somebody could make a big long series set in Luke’s Jedi school and that might somewhat rehabilitate my opinion if it showed Luke struggling to find his way- in much the way that the Clone Wars show gave me lots of Feels(TM) about the prequels that I hadn’t previously had -but for now, there’s just this huge gulf between point A- Luke would rather die than kill his father, or even strike down the biggest cackling madman in the entire fuckening galaxy -and Point B -Luke strongly considering killing his own nephew in his sleep. Whiplash.

3.) Poe’s arc felt like it was written for a different character. Is there a need to show the typical hotshot macho braggart character taken down a peg in sci-fi stories? You bet. Is Poe any of those things besides hotshot? He really isn’t. You could show him becoming a better leader without resorting to having his effectively mother figure literally slap him. If nothing else, guys, I know that humans in a galaxy far far away are ostensibly not racist, but your audience has to deal with the cultural baggage from our society. Watching him get slapped felt like a punch right in my half-Mexican guts, and I love the hell out of Leia and Carrie Fisher. 

4.) Laura Dern’s character had no reason to keep her big secret. A fucking handwave would’ve satisfied me- a line like ‘I was concerned we were being monitored and so actually saying the plan out loud would’ve been disastrous; sorry Captain Dameron.” As-is, the story makes it seem like she kept her plan to herself out of... whimsy? Because she felt like Poe needed a lesson in trusting officers he’s not worked with closely? You’re a resistance leader, not a five-star admiral in the Republic navy- you can’t just expect the ‘ragtag band of rebels’ to follow you because of military hierarchy. People need reasons to trust, dammit.

5.) The ‘btw the real villain of the series is arms dealers’ side-plot was, imo, misplaced in a major film. These films are, as I said above, mythology. Could a Star Wars series tackle the issues of war profiteering? Absolutely. It could be great! I’d watch it. Should a tentpole Star Wars movie dip into that stuff when there’s Epic Tales of Good versus Evil Both in the Galaxy and in Ourselves to be told? Not in my opinion. Whatever your opinion about the entire arc on Canto Bight, (I’m not a big fan, but you might be) and how it was handled, I feel like it shouldn’t have been in the movie at all. Any major Star Wars movie.

6.) Misuse of the Tico sisters. Either let us have a little longer to get attached to Paige so that her heroic sacrifice carries more punch, or at least let Rose focus on her emotional trauma a bit more. I’d have been a lot happier with the romance subplot if it had made more sense for Rose, but she went from ‘oh god my sister is dead’ to ‘ooh wow a hero’ to ‘oh no; never meet your heroes’ to ‘i like this boy and want to kiss him’ in entirely too short a time. Have the film start off after a time skip; Finn has been working with the mechanics a bit since he’s a highly-trained soldier who knows all the technical details of First Order stuff, he and Rose are friends and Rose maybe has a crush to begin with, then Paige dies and that becomes her emotional arc for the movie- dealing with that loss. By the time she has the wherewithal to realize she loves him, he can either return her feelings or not depending on where they want to go in Episode IX. 

7.) Given that their relationship (platonic or romantic as you interpret it) was the entire heart of TFA, having Finn and Rey separated for the entire movie was just hard to deal with, and not in a good way. More in the ‘where’s the heart of this movie?’ sort of way. Still trying to answer that question.

Also, you will pry Force-Sensitive Finn from my cold dead hands and as a result I would have done unspeakable things to see him get trained alongside Rey. But that’s less a legit beef with the movie and more something I fervently would like to have seen. 

I have other personal taste complaints as well (why the boob-monster? why so much focus on Kylo only to double down on what an irredeemable jerk he is at the end? why completely abandon all the interesting plot threads from TFA? I liked those plot threads! I had fun speculating! why make them all irrelevant? sheesh!) but they’re pretty clearly matters of personal taste and so I will refrain from going on and on about them.

Anyhow yeah; I even enjoyed the film and have seen it twice now, but my initial misgivings have only grown. Especially the Luke business By no means am I of the opinion that it’s the worst character assassination in Star Wars canon (*cough* Padme *cough*) but I still find it really jarring. 

Blargh. No doubt I’ll get people jumping into my inbox to tell me that I’m dead wrong in that I dare not entirely love it because it’s the Best Thing, or that I’m entirely too easy on it because it’s the Worst Thing. So I’m gonna take a shower and then head out to the Warhammer store rather than sit around reading messages all day. 

[bladetoblade]

my thoughts about everything in this post and anakin/his relationship with droids are a little (read: very) disorganized bc i have SO MANY feelings

- i love the symbolic ties between vader/anakin, his humanity/light, his freedom and mechanical parts/droids.

your point about the gold hand reaching towards anakin and that hand being connected to c3po??? actually killed me dead. anakin made that hand and c3po as well. unlike his hand, c3po was made with love while his mechanohand is tainted by his hatred and pain from his duel with dooku

i think it’s interesting how it is canonically confirmed that droids are sentient beings and therefore are oppressed when their autonomy is taken.

this is ESPECIALLY interesting when we look at luke and anakin and how their cybernetics are meant to symbolize a call to the darkness or a inhumaneness!

we are actually told this directly by characters and luke’s ominous visions multiple times in the narrative. george was really unsubtle with this symbolic relationship

“he’s more machine than man. twisted and evil.”

droids are still objectively equal to other sentient beings. we also see their rights violated and are told by the narrative (from the beginning of the original trio) that this is wrong! they should be treated as equals.

so, why does losing an arm and having it replaced by a mechanical counterpart symbolize darkness???

my interpretation is that because droids’ sentience and rights are consistently violated, losing a ‘human’ hand and having it replaced by a cybernetic one represents the reduction of a person’s autonomy.

it’s even confirmed in legends that when anakin begins to heal himself and escapes his physical pain to regain more bodily autonomy, he has to stop/be stopped bc he can more readily be “tempted” by the call of the light.

(another component to this is that anakin does literally lose power (via loss of midichlorians in 3 remaining limbs) and therefore agency in his relationship with his sith master. the symbolism is also very literal)

- i also just have so many feelings about the ‘love is stored in the droid’ part of anakin

the way he externalizes love is just so endearing, especially given how obvious and completely open it is

he build c3po as a friend, someone who he hopes will be a friend to shmi. then, in a way, he gives padmé and c3po each other! he wants threepio to have a home and he doesn’t want padme to be alone so he asks them to take care of each other!!!

(i had to include the whole thing because the first line makes me so soft)

anakin also remodels R4-P17, obi-wan’s astromech droid, to have a dome head rather than the usual R4 cone shaped head. it’s a completely unnecessary modification, which just serves to make anakin and obi-wan’s astromech’s match :,)

here’s the good boy in question!

anakin very directly introduces his loved ones to his droid friends. it’s obviously so important to him that droids be treated like people, that his insistence rubs off on obi-wan, against his will.

- it’s incredibly facinating in general how present the themes of autonomy and freedom are in star wars, especially in the prequel era. the clones, the droids, and anakin skywalker all have interesting relationships with those themes.

all three of them play incredibly powerful and major roles in the prequels/tcw but because of their roles in the narrative as a whole they have no real autonomy or choice.

now i’m not saying that anakin skywalker didn’t make choices. i’m saying that because vader came before he did, his choice was already made. the clones and droids are also overtly stripped of their autonomy as a necessity of the preexisting narrative

the clones don’t play a major role in the original trilogy so obviously they have to dissapear. the droids can’t make real progress bc the precident has been set. given how completely loyal these groups were to each other, this honestly breaks my heart.

- i think within the narrative little anakin (and then also bigger anakin) found kinship with droids because of his relation to them based in being enslaved in his childhood and their day to day experiences.

in a way he reclaims power and agency in his relationships with droids. both by building threepio and also doing the radical thing of affording both threepio and artoo respect and affection, treating them how he knows he, his friends, and his mother should have been treated

mechanic anakin & droids

(artoo and ani gif credit: upstartpoodle)

there so much to be drawn from anakin's natural predeliction/genuine kindness towards droids:

-he states many times he is most at peace when "fixing things". he finds comfort in the mechanizations of small parts to aid a greater whole. he fixes droids because he feels they matter.

-he respects nonorganic creatures who do the bidding of others without thought to their own will. he is so kind - because as a freed slave he understands this. he'd never mistreat a droid based off their perceived consciousness - that isn't the issue. the issue is one's generosity towards a being with less autonomy than oneself. and he has immense generosity.

- his love for droids is like an animal lover towards animals, he wants to protect them against a greater threat and considers them to be innocent and innately loveable. he also an incredibly lonely person and a dreamer - as a child he wishes to construct the world around him, as well as friends, to keep him company.

-he literally builds threepio as a child, a protocol droid laced with anxiety... come on. if that isn't projecting, what is?

-he covers c3po in GOLD! the only protocol droid we see in sw covered in gold (i believe). an indication of how highly he thinks of his creation and also an indication of his own innate goodness

-he leaves threepio "unfinished" on tatooine - a sign of his growth yet to be had, to be completed by his destiny and by his interface with others

-threepio also loses an arm in the Sequel trilogy, mimicking Anakin's injury. in the Sequels threepio is decommissioned and the "resurrected" - just like Anakin. also we see in the Sequels that artoo lays dormant for many years while Luke (Anakin's light) is sequestered and hidden away, and only "wakes up" when Luke returns/is found

-Anakin externalizes the love he can't give himself to mechanics. he treats Artoo with respect and love, praising him for being brave and trying his hardest. he has endless affection and patience for the jittering threepio. he sees their strengths as his personal pride and their faults as endearing, unlike with himself -- he cannot find any true admirable qualities in himself and is riddled with self doubt. Anakin even outright tells Obi-wan not to judge Artoo because "he's trying"!!! which is huge for him. he externalizes and projects on the droids - as much as they also represent him.

-his love for droids is so pure! threepio and artoo can be seen as extensions of his bravery and anxiour fear, both of which are goodhearted. his MECHANICAL SOUL (through Artoo and Threepio) lives on past Mustafar and continues to guide Leia, Luke, Obi-wan and the OG/Sequel trilogy. this "pure" mechanical soul is directly opposed to the "impure" mechanical soul of Vader. Anakin vs Vader coexisting again.

-this concept of MECHANICAL SOUL is important because we know in the end Anakin falls to Vader as part of his tragic destiny... he becomes a Dark Robotic Cyborg amalgamation (Vader) whereas Threepio&Artoo preserve and protect Anakin's innocence and light in a mirror to how Luke and Leia do it.

-Artoo follows Anakin to MUSTAFAR! and leaves without him, taking off in the ship with Obi-wan :( because Vader is born and he no longer need follow his creator. the fact that Artoo accompanied Anakin to Mustafar shows there was still some semblance of Anakin fighting through even on Mustafar such as when Anakin reaches his mechanical hand towards Obi-wan as he is burning, trying to use it to climb up the cliff

-it is heartwrenching and touching that anakin identifies so closely with droids

-it is interesting that Anakin's "de-evolution" into Vader can be traced to Dooku (a Sith) amputating his arm (the beginning of his Dark Mechanical Body), but also that eventually this same hand (gold-colored like Threepio) which was given to him when he is still a Jedi ends up being one of the last vestiges of Anakin left as Vader is created on the table/as Vader burns on Mustafar. Anakin uses this gold hand to try to crawl to Obi-wan. This shows his duality. His robotic hand represents both Vader in Anakin, and Anakin in Vader.

-he'd 100% be part of the droid liberation movement if he lived and wasnt predestined to fall

-it is heartwrenching that for all his love of robotics, mechanics, fixing, creating, and droids he becomes a machine that is unfixable.... or so he thinks ;)

[himboskywalker]

So, I've been reading some stuff from some SW fans, and I've come to the realization that some people believe that Obi-Wan was a bad teacher/master to Anakin and I honestly don't know what to think. I would like to know your thoughts on that, as a way to start my own analysation. I recognise that there were things that could've gone better in their relationship, but do you believe he failed as a master?

I think you’ll find that I am in a narrow and minority group in the fandom in which I am a rabid fan and lover of Anakin Skywalker,while also being extremely pro Jedi Order,and supportive of the Jedi Council.I don’t think Obi-Wan failed Anakin as a master and I’ve always thought he was a wonderful teacher for him.I think the true failure is that Anakin failed himself,which is the entire tragedy of the story.I actually waffle quite a bit on the degree of Anakin’s own agency in his story.Normally I’m a huge proponent of people’s and characters’ agency and that’s definitely because I’ve been trained as a historian. Whenever someone mentions inevitability or predestination it normally sends me hissing.I’m a huge fan of the concept of free will,in real life and in fiction.

However,the story arc of the prequels is an inevitability. We know how the story ends,and at least in that sense, there is a predestination to the character’s choices and fates,because the audience already knows the finale.The audience is also privy to a whole slew of other factors:Sidious is behind everything,Anakin has faced traumas the Jedi and Obi-Wan are unaware of,that every character is being manipulated and led at every step of the story.I see a lot of commentary on how dismissive the Jedi Council was towards Anakin,how dismissive Yoda and Obi-Wan were to his visions about Padme,which is what people often blame his fall to the dark side on.But Yoda and Obi-Wan and the rest of the Council,we have to remember,are completely unaware of what happened on Tatooine.Anakin never told them. And further,when Anakin tells Yoda of his prophetic dream,he doesn’t tell him that it is a force dream,he doesn’t tell him that he’s been having prophetic nightmares or about the other factors which the audience is aware of.

All of these things,as an audience and as storytellers and consumers of narrative,we recognize as tension and in the particular arc of the Prequel Trilogy,that tension manifests as all the archetypes of a Greek Tragedy.One of the major hallmarks of Greek Tragedies is the theme of inevitability and fate,which the hero always learns they cannot fight.I do think Anakin is ultimately responsible for the decisions he made because even a character caught in a storyline of fate has agency,and we see where his choices lead him.But I also lay a huge portion of blame on Sidious,and that Anakin is literally groomed by him from the age of 9,and is manipulated without knowing it.And that is where I always stumble myself with how much responsibility I give Anakin for the mistakes he made,because he does have free will yes,but how much independence he has from those uncontrollable influences I don’t quite know.

To get back to Obi-Wan,I think where a lot of people form their opinions that he failed Anakin or was a bad master is that they see how Anakin is manipulated or the traumas he goes through and think,Obi-Wan was the closest person to him,he should have seen that,he should have recognized it and known.But the thing is,Obi-Wan is as in the dark as everyone else.He didn’t know about Tatooine or that he has visions of Padme dying or that he’s on the precipice of losing his mind from all these added horrors and stressors because Anakin doesn’t tell him,he doesn’t talk to him. And I do hear a lot of people say,well Obi-Wan was close to him,couldn’t he see what Anakin was going through and have known?But the sad thing is,no matter how much we love somebody or how close we are to them,that doesn’t grant us the magical ability to read their minds or always be aware enough of their emotions to know if they’re going through a hard time.

A few years ago my best friend in the world who is like the other half of my soul attempted suicide and it was the biggest shock in the world to me and I had no idea she was even depressed before the fact.It didn’t matter that we lived in the same room together,or that we spent every waking moment in each other’s back pockets,she didn’t tell me what she was going through,or talk to me.Blaming Obi-Wan for not seeing Anakin’s internal struggles would be the same as someone blaming me for not seeing my best friend’s depression,’oh if you were so close to the person you should have seen,’ but sometimes,humans aren’t capable of looking into each other’s souls like that.We rely on verbal communication for a reason,and Obi-Wan had a billion other stressors and horrors he was also trying to balance as well as look after Anakin.

This isn’t to say that I don’t think Obi-Wan made mistakes,because he did.He’s human and not omnipotent and of course he really screwed it up sometimes.I think him faking his death in the Rako Hardeen arc was the worst mistake he ever made and I think he irreparably damaged Anakin’s trust because of it.I also think he let his love for Anakin blind him to some of his deeper problems.He sees the darkness in him and watches him succumb to it multiple times,but I think his longing for them to have a brotherly relationship,rather than the true master/padawan dynamic,guides him to be far too lenient on him. Stover writes in the ROTS novel that while Obi-Wan is 16 years older than him,that they became men together in the Clone Wars.When Anakin becomes a knight their relationship is more one of friendship than as teacher and student,and friends I think,are more supportive and enablers for one another,sometimes blindly encouraging one another even through bad or misguided behavior.

And I think that’s where Obi-Wan falls into by the Clone Wars.During times that he should correct Anakin,or should guide him more he doesn’t,because I think he ultimately yearns for friendship with Anakin. Friends don’t like to correct each other or call one another out when they’ve done something wrong.We sometimes have to but usually it’s a last resort or said far more leniently and sugar coated then if we addressed it to someone else.So I don’t think Obi-Wan failed him, but I do think both Anakin’s and Obi-Wan’s attachment and love for the other played directly into Sidious’s plans and was a weakness as much as it was a strength.

[juanjohnl]

QUEEN’S SHADOW REVIEW

“I am Queen Amidala. This is my decoy, my protection, my loyal bodyguard. I’m sorry for the deception, but it was necessary to protect myself.”

How does one become a handmaiden to the queen of Naboo? How is she trained? Does she just need makeup and hair training or should she be able to not only defend herself but also her queen? If called upon to impersonate the queen herself, what preparation does she need to credibly fool not just a potential enemy, but more importantly people who know the queen well?

If she doesn’t make the final cut, does that mean she’s of no use? 

Not only that, once the queen’s term of office is complete, what happens to the handmaidens? How do they apply their training to other walks of life? Do they even want to move on to a new life, or do they prefer to stick with their former queen?

And if they do stick with the former queen, how do they incorporate things like a love life? How do they balance a life of service to one woman while being romantically involved with someone else?

As for the former queen herself, how does she transition from ruling a planet with all the challenges that brings — including an invasion — to working in an entirely different political environment like the Galactic Senate? Once she’s in this environment, does she want to stay in it or pursue other interests? 

Given the clothing she needs to wear — whether as a queen or a senator — is that clothing merely meant for decoration or could it deflect a blaster bolt? If the queen or senator needs to be in more than once place at the same time, is it physically possible for her to switch with a chosen double with minimal time needed to make the change?

If you — like a good chunk of Star Wars fans — grew up watching the prequel trilogy and ever wondered who were the mysterious women who made up Padme Amidala’s retinue in The Phantom Menace, rarely leaving her side, always seeming part of the background, then E.K. Johnston’s “Queen’s Shadow” is the book for you.

“Queen’s Shadow” is set between Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, with Padme, the newly appointed senator from Naboo, and her handmaidens navigating their way through galactic politics. 

Johnston takes Padme, Sabe, Dorme, Corde, Rabe, Eirtae, and other handmaidens and fleshes out their characters. Each one has a strength, whether it’s being a good shot with a blaster, an expert computer hacker, a makeup artist or something else. Some have the physical bone structure and are able to mimic Padme’s voice so well that even old family friends are fooled. Padme may have been the one elected queen or appointed senator, but she and her handmaidens operate as a team.

“Queen’s Shadow” also features Padme’s first interactions with characters like Mon Mothma, Mina Bonteri, Rush Clovis and others, so fans of The Clone Wars cartoon series will likely get something out of this book, too. 

A sizable chunk of the book is spent with Padme meeting and interacting with Bail Organa of Alderaan, and anyone familiar with Star Wars knows the end result of that.

In navigating the Galactic Senate, Padme has the additional burden of being the one who helped depose Chancellor Valorum and bring on the rise of Palpatine, her fellow Nabooian. Many of her Senate colleagues naturally have an initial distrust of someone who, while so young, brought on such a change in the chamber. Consequently, she needs to work to establish allies in order to pass legislation.

Reading a Star Wars book about women and written by a woman is really amazing, particularly in the smallest of details — like the interactions between Padme and her handmaidens, or how clothing or makeup is applied — that chances are most male writers most likely would not “get” the same way.

Johnston gives the senator and her handmaidens agency, whether it be intellectual, physical or sexual. When they want something, they go after it. Like the rest of humanity, some handmaidens are portrayed straight, some bi, some gay and some you’re just not sure. That’s who they just happen to be.

The book takes the term “Handmaiden” and gives it a strength that it may never have had before. Just because they’re able to blend into the background unnoticed doesn’t mean they’re not capable of defending Padme when the situation calls for it. That said, Padme is thoroughly capable of taking care of herself when the need arises. 

The handmaiden that gets the most attention is Sabe, Padme’s closest friend and the one who most often switches with Padme as queen or senator when needed. 

Sabe gets to go on her own mission with Tonra, the nephew of Captain Panaka and a sergeant in the Royal Security Forces. Their budding romance is a delight to read.

One thing’s for sure: After reading this book, you’ll never watch the Prequel Trilogy — or for that matter The Clone Wars TV series with the episodes that feature Padme — the same, regardless of whether you’re a fan of those series or not.   

E.K. Johnston’s “Queen’s Shadow” is now available for purchase in hardcover, digital and audiobook formats (with Cat Taber — the voice of Padme in the Clone Wars series — narrating).