#but i just. dont enjoy my own pain and suffering that much anymore lmao. even i managed to get fed up with the masochism past a certain

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[clearlyshyobservation]

Kokichi is dying (V3 chatfic, no particular ship)

TW: Infers abuse, talks about ableism, neglect, panic attack pretty much, depression, self loathing. never being good enough

i am so sorry but vr au's need to be sad, love yall :)

(Background info: This is set in a vr au, they are not with their fake memory parents (Ie; kaito's kind grandparents) but rather why they really have)

(Also i have no fucking clue what ship i was going for???? pretty sure they are all on the table, and kokichi talks like an idiot in this and i love it. Gonta's writing is based off of his Japanese talking style, so no more caveman talking).

USERNAMES:

(Space monkey: Kaito, Detective pikachu: shuichi, Elton john: kaede, Antman: gonta, Mr. Gonstealyoman: korekiyo, Atua's bitch: angie, emoboi: ryoma, be-boop: kiibo, bread roll: Maki, cum dumpster: miu, mommy: kirumi, Gremlin: Kokichi)

TLDR: Chaos ensues, slight angst

Gremlin: omfg im fucking sicK im gonna fucking die i bet this was kaitos bitch ass fault for coughing on me with his tuberculosis headass gROSSSSS I HATE EVERYTHINGGG

Space Monkey: i-

Space monkey: I didn't get you sick dumbass,,,, my tb is fugckin cured bi-

Bread roll: he's dramatic and gross dont believe him

Gremlin: yall mean for what?

Gremlin: i have a life taking disease and yall laughing i- 

Gremlin: see you at my funeral bitch

Detective pikachu: What are you sick with then

Gremlin: anythong bitch, im the universe

Antman: He sounds delusional, thats not good

Detective pikachu: He's always delusional, he's Kokichi

Mr. gonstealyoman: I guess this name is better than my old one

Mr. gonstealyoman: thank you kokichi :) I am glad we have come to an understanding

Gremlin: kay sexy

Gremlin: IGNRE WHAT I JUST SENT

Gremlin: IGNORE IT IGNORE IT IGNORE ITTTTT

Antman: who was that for???

Gremlin: NO ONE,,, 

Gremlin: Okay,,, maybe sexy tall men in general lowkey

Gremlin: okay,,,, maybe anyone over 6 feet 

Detective pikachu: i feel excluded

Detective pikachu: good, i don't like you kokichi, your an ass

Gremlin: u sound jelly shumaiiiiii

be-boop: perhaps he is telling the truth, you know,

be-boop: according to my data, in chapter four Shuichi stated that you will never have friends, and no one will ever like you

Gremlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP MAKING ME FEEL BADBSKVKHDVKDSKJV

Antman: do you need me to come over? I can make you tea?

mommy: Do you know how to do that, Gonta? I can teach you?

Antman: Gonta does know, thank you very much. 

Antman: Gonta is not a child, Tojo-chan, please don't regard me as one

Antman: Gonta can cook, can clean, can be gentle, and has his own mind

Space monkey: but we're just making sure man, cuz, you know,,,, chapter 4

Antman: I am capable of things just like you!!!!!

Antman: Gonta doesn't know why you guys treat me like a child :(

Gremlin: yeah, hot stuff over there is basically a prodigy homies

Antman: Gonta is dumb though, don't say that.

Antman: Gonta is no prodigy, in fact, he is below average in everything

Gremlin: Whats ur test scores bitch

Antman: Gonta got a 98 on my english test,, but i wanted a 100, which would make Gonta actually smart :( 

Antman: Gonta is not good enough to be friends with you all

Antman: I can do basic stuff like tojo said...

Antman: maybe i do need help?

Antman: im not sure anymore:((((

Gremlin: THEY ARE ABLEIST GONTA,,, THEY FEEL SUPERIOR FOR TREATING UUUUU LIKE A CHILD

Detective pikachu: You sound really delusional Kokichi, maybe you should get sleep

Gremlin: S T F U, IM SPITTING ST8 FACTS BITCH

Detective pikachu: Sure you are. Now get some rest. 

Gremlin: GRRRR WHY WONT YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOTS??

Bread roll: Cause your stupid and aggressive

Gremlin: your personality, basically?

Bread roll: shut up at least i have a boyfriend

Gremlin: Technically, you just stole my frienemy 

Gremlin: Yall do be avoiding each other doe

Space Monkey: WE ARE NOT

Gremlin: Yeah yeah

Gremlin: yesterday i saw you to enter the same cafe by accident, duck your heads, then sit across the cafe from each other, all while  avoiding eye contact

Gremlin: Soooo,,, things not going well in paradise?

Detective pikachu: you're nosy

Gremlin: says the literal detective 

Space monkey: everythings fine your just a dickkkk

Gremlin: "oooo! Im momo-chan, i say bad word and go brrrrr"

Space monkey: im going to fucking stab him 

Gremlin: You cant, ive already enslaved you with my chaotic, yet cute hijinks, havent i~

Space monkey: STOP STOP NO NOT THE SQUIGLY

Gremlin: is it the sex? WHY DONT YOU MAKE EYE CNOTACT WITH UR LADY NO MORE 

Space monkey: ITS NOT THE SEX I HATE YOU

Gremlin: im free by the way at 8 ;)

Bread roll: STOP trying to steal my boyfriend kokichi, ive told you this before

Bread roll: NO

Bread roll: BODY

Antman: Gonta interrupts to say, Gonta loves you kokichi, and we should get flowers together, than maybe we can prank some people :D 

Bread roll: Ive never wanted to stab you more, gonta

Gremlin: I'd enjoy that very much, fine fellow ;)

Gremlin: but idk,,,, can you like take care of me first, cuz IM SICK BECAUSE OF KAITO TUBERCULOSIS ASS

Space monkey: I DONT HAVE TB ANYMORE

Gremlin: SURE YOU DONT 

Space monkey: I DONT

Gremlin:  BUT GUESS WHAT

Gremlin: YOU STILL SMOKE DUMBASS AND THATS NOT GOOD FOR U OR YOUR TUBERCULOSIS

Detective pikachu: He smokes?

Atua's bitch: he does, i walked in on him in the bathroom lmao

Atua's bitch: he was scared shitless and threw it out the window, needless to say atua does nt approve

Gremlin: DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE VACCINE????

Space monkey: Uh,,, i was taught vaccines were bad, so no i don't have the vaccine

Gremlin: I HATE OLD PEOPLE

Gremlin: ABOLISH OLD PEOPLEEEE

Gremlin: THEY SPREAD MISINFORMATION AND IT PHISCALLY HURTS ME TO SEEEEEE

Space monkey: your dramatic, it cant be that bad

Gremlin: say that when you catch it again

Gremlin: i swear you coughed on me like,,,, 5 weeks ago tho

Antman: OOOO! Fun fact: Tuberculosis can lay dormant from 3 months to a few years! 

Space monkey: u guys are just trying to scare me

Bread roll: Just checked the chat after using the br and,,m YOUDONT HAVE YOU VACCINES???

Detective pikachu: Im sorry, but kaito, please,,,,, for the love of god get vaccines

Space monkey: alright alright, ill do it cuz you guys are all on my case and i don't like being the villain :(

Gremlin: Im so happy i have gonta with me rn, he is making me tea while yall rot in your distant ass relationship (THIS IS FOR YOU KAITO)

Space monkey: Im going to destroy your bloodline in about three seconds if you dont stfu right fucking now

Gremlin: Hhehe i have an inaprwopwiate joke uwu

emoboi: STOP PLEASE DEAR GOD

cum dumpster: wHAt Is iT YOU WHORE

Gremlin: i was gonna say wouldn't he need to like,,,, have sex with my family to weed out my bloodline or something??

cum dumpster: i-

cum dumpster: Why am i acting surprised, ive watched porn with more extravagant plots than this

cum dumpster: ie; are you guys FUCKING? RIGHT INFRONT OF MY SALAD??? is one i will cherish with my soul

emoboi: hehe why did she point out the salad

Space monkey: I hate u kokichi, i truly do

Gremlin: I bet if you got the chance u would kiss me space boy :P

Bread roll has left the chat

Space monkey: o god is she ddoing one of those bf loyalty tests or smthing???

Space monkey: now im nervous lmao

Gremlin: why you so nervous stupid~~~~

Gremlin: It not like ur cheating on her homie

Space monkey: It's just a placebo effect

Gremlin: My brain feels fried Momo-chan,, i don't understand big boy words right now

Space monkey: Basically, if you take a pill that doesn't do anything but you don't know that and believe it does, you will scientifically start to feel better

Gremlin: first and only time saying this, but thank you 

Space monkey: HEHEHEB YOU SAID THANK YOU YOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOUYOU SAID THANK YOU

Gremlin: Kaito,,, imma need you to do me a favor and look up on your ceiling

Space monkey: i hate you, idk what it is, but i hte you

Gremlin: good <3

Space monkey: HE REPLACED ALL MY THE STARS ON MY CELING WITH FUCKIBG DICKSSS

Space monkey: THIS IS THE LST FUCKING STRAW IM GONNA LOSE IT

Space monkey: IF MY GRANDPARENTS SEE THIS BULLSHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME, SLAP ME, MAYBE BREAK MY NECK AND DESTROY MEE

Space monkey: Im GENUINLEY panicing HOW TF am i gona get this off my wal???? They are going to bbat me senselpess help me shUichi

Detective pikachu: o god, i can sense the sheer pain and scaredness in  that tet, 

Detective pikachu: are you for real gong to get hurt or are you pulling a kokichi?

Space monkey: FUCKING HELP ME IM NOT FUCKING JOKINGKABKCB HELP THEY ARE NOT HOME RN THEY ARE LIKEE,,,, 40 MINUTES AWAY PLEASEE 

Gremlin: okay,,, maybe this wasn't the best prank.,,, i guess i'll help clean up cuz im not that much of a sociopath

Gremlin: tbh my parents can go shove it too lowkey terrible 0/10 

Space monkey: AHHHH IM SO SCARED PLS PSL GET HERE FAST

be-boop: Of course, i will come, i will survey the outside of the house

Antman: Gonta is coming too! We will get this done in under 40 minutes!

Space monkey: OKAY

Gremlin: Lowkey, if i cough on you ignore it bitch your the one who made me like this

Space monkey: W HA TDONT COUGH ON ME IM NOT SICK ANYMORE

Gremlin: I will give you TB again just cuz your making me suffer

Space monkey: Suffer what??? putting dicks on my FUCKING WALL???

Gremlin: Guilt, idiot, im feeling guilty. 

cum dumpster: oof thats new

emoboi: yeah i wasn't expecting it

Mr.gonstealyoman: Me neither. It is rather peculiar seeing it being texted by him because he is always feels not guilty of his bad actions.

be-boop: I do believe he means it, though...

emoboi: impossible.

cum dumpster: i agree, literally impossible.

Gremlin: I HAVE A FUCKIBG SOUL YOU CRazY CONSPIRACISTS

Antman: Quick question, shuichi can i stay with you again? It'll be dark when i get home and gonta can't do that so,,, please help

Detective pikachu: my parents are like blank slates, who eat slowly, watch tv slowly, and never look at me. Im sure they wouldn't mind :P

Antman: ALRIGHT! :D LETS GET MISSION: MR. MOMOTA ROOM REPAIR DONE!

Gremlin: ooo! I like the name! IM INNNN! 

Detective pikachu: On it!

be-boop: Ready for look out!

Space monkey: I love you guys :)

AN: Im lowkey sorry i ended this chaotic mess with angst,,,, but like fr i love it i love angst,, i hate reading it but love writing it

[all-i-wanna-write]

🎃 Wanna One as supernatural creatures  👻 - Maknae Line

[ Masterlist ]  [ Back with the second part of this set - Now with the Wanna One children Maknae Line! I hope you all enjoy this!! also sorry for posting a bit late loves, Halloween parties are wild ahaha. Also wow it is lengthy again i’m sorry about that i tend to ramble whoops. I will get to the requests in my inbox soon to those who sent some in!  Have a safe weekend everyone and be sure to read and watch lots of spooky Halloween things in preparation for Halloween next Tuesday! -Admin V ] 

Park Jihoon

if someone calls him tinkerbell one more time he is actually going to lOSE IT

he is so sick of it

he is a pixie! not a fAIRY!

listen he knows they mean it as a joke,,, but cmon does he look like he wears a bright green leaf and is blonde

actually wait

he is not just aegyo and pixie dust and *magic* he is a MAN

and then you know, he sips milk out of a bendy straw and that argument is forgotten

his fashion sense is... still pretty out there.

really bright colors that do not match

and then he wears circle lenses all the time

(he actually cant see that well but he says its just fashion)

wears large sweaters to cover up wings so in summer hes Suffering™

 “you doing okay there jihoon?”

hes just there sweating bullets but raises a thumb

“never better”

he doesn't let the world besides the Supernatural Hub™ and his close family and friends know hes a pixie

so he seems like a normal human to about everyone

he attends college and works at a cafe and is overall just a normal guy

a very cute guy who jeojangs into girls hearts and they fawn over his boyish appearance and general attitude

“hes so cute, like a lil kid!”

lol if only they knew

dresses up as a pixie every halloween

ha ha “dress up”

halloween is the one day a year he can be free and let his wings breathe in a place other than home

he was asked by a friend one year why hes a pixie every year and he sweat bullets yet again

“pixies are cool!” 

hes just a pixie trying to live a normal life with crazy hyungs and friends who drive him insane

but he loves them though so its all okay

Bae Jinyoung

click clack

“how do you make that sound??? it sounds just like wood!”

“oh yeah my mouth is made of wood ahaha”

“wHAT”

introducing modern day frankenstein jinyoung

he was made after dying a long time ago in a car accident but was recreated into who he is now by his family

he ran away after finding out how crazy his family really is

occasionally has to do stitches on himself to connect parts again

he doesn't feel pain though

he has stitches on various parts of his body where he was put back together and some internal things replaced

a walking frankenstein

bright side he can do that really cool click clack sound with his mouth and not have to ever worry about throwing up cause no hunger or uvula to worry about

downside he cant have food really anymore because he doesn't have a way to digest it

he misses beef

he is still adjusting a bit to being alive again so he moves around a bit slowly

daehwi jokingly calls him a zombie and jinyoung has to hold his tongue to not curse at him

he gets back at daehwi by shaking his hand and it coming off and making the other faint

he doesn't really understand 

he helps sungwoon and daehwi with their magic though! 

he is kind of like the perfect assistant because he doesn't really feel pain and hes strong

hes just a cutie boy who may as well be half wood (i almost made him pinocchio lol) but is still gonna click clack his way into your heart

Park Woojin

“for the last time daehwi i’m a dragon not a lizard”

that’s right

our boy woojin is a fire breathing dragon

who lives in human form because despite how tempting it is to fly from the house to his classes 

he doesn’t think that people will like that very much

“did you hear about that dragon sighting the other day?”

“dude you’re hallucinating, dragons don’t exist”

woojin sweating bullets to the side

woojin is actually a really young dragon 

as in when he does shift forms its,,,

a small dragon

he isn’t a tiny whelpling but its pretty easy to tell he’s young by how small he is

thus why daehwi calls him a lizard 

when he is in his dragon form, he has bright red scales that are shiny and actually pretty soft

he has to be careful because his natural hair ended up being red and he dyes it all the time in vain to stop it

he’s lucky that red is a common dye color otherwise yikes

he isn’t very greedy lmao a lie

he collects pink things but isn’t willing to admit it just yet

halloween comes around and woojin suffers

he is a manly man who likes manly things

children are his weakness he gives out candy to the ones in dinosaur and dragon costumes because they remind him so much of home and family wow let me hug this boy hold on

living heater v.2

everyone goes to either him or daniel if they’re cold

he takes a lil bit of convincing to cuddle however, he is more reserved than daniel is

shy dragon

he breathes fire when scared/angry

on more than one occasion the home was set on fire due to someone scaring woojin

hes a passionate dance major who sets fire to the stage

i’m sorry

love woojin he is just a smol dragon who is learning and loves dancing and pink

Lee Daehwi

*ahem*

Yer a wizard, Daehwi

moving on

somehow he knows everyone, like everyone

he can recite for memory who is who in a family before even meeting them

daehwi doesn’t look any different than the next person

and then you just see him twiddling a wand around before mumbling something and his shirts suddenly pink

he has seen all of harry potter and loves to point out all the inaccuracies such as;

“why are they so focused on their wands?? you can cast spells without a wand???”

“that is so not how you use troll’s hair”

“wHY IS EVERYONE SO OBSESSED WITH ROBES I DONT GET IT I’M CONFUSION”

he helps sungwoon with his potions!

mostly because no one else will nor do they know where the materials for potions are like daehwi

he learned how to teleport and called it apparate because he is that much of a nerd for the movie despite how much he bashes it

he uses his magic so much its a wonder how he hasn’t been outed for a wizard in his school 

he is incredibly lazy because of magic tbh

“daehwi can you pass the pepper”

“oh yeah sure hyung” 

and he just twirls his fingers and the pepper is floating over to seongwoo

“boi”

very knowledgeable in social media and fashion and makes it his own mission to style the members

he works with jihoon on that one

despite their own.... choices in fashion they know whats good on their friends

if daehwi hates something someone is wearing he’s just gonna change it anyways with his magic lol

halloween is fun because he can decorate the store!!

he loves setting up little decorations that are alive and things for kids to enjoy as they pass by the shop window

the store looks so spooky and festive that it gets a lot of revenue during this time and daehwi couldn’t be prouder

he and jinyoung are best pals, as daehwi helps jinyoung with getting used to being alive again and jinyoung helps him out with numerous things 

dresses up in a witch hat and cape every year no questions asked

“i can do magic in public this way”

he is just a very lovable kid who may not understand boundaries at times but he tries and that’s honestly good enough for everyone

Lai Guanlin

our boy came from under the sea

literally

the merfolk and humans actually already know about each other so guanlin doesn’t really need to worry about people seeing his gills or ears because its not uncommon to see merfolk like him around

he is just cautious cause not a lot of people are really accepting of his kind yet

he just wants to learn about the world he hadn’t been in for so long because he was in the ocean for most of his life

silent frustration from wanna one hyungs who want to protect him

guanlin is a very tall merfolk for both his age as well as species 

he ended up living at the Supernatural Hut™ because some kids at his boarding school bullied him for gills 

and daehwi saw him getting bullied when he was coming back to the shop and boy did daehwi act

he is lucky those guys were turned around when he cast an illusion charm on a trash can

made it look like police jumping out. which scared the life outta those boys and they ran

daehwi proceeded to claim guanlin as his own and run off with him

okay he didn’t actually run off with him but he bought guanlin coffee and declared him his child

guanlin is confusion

“you were lost on your way back home but you found home in us”

“ew that was cheesy minhyun-hyung”

“here i am baring my heart and soul for you and i get rejected like this”

he’s home-schooled there because no one trusts those schools who let guanlin be bullied

protect the maknae 2k17

“so is under water like the little mermaid”

“whats the little mermaid?”

“that’s it kid you’re watching movies with us and you’re ours now you need to know little mermaid.”

he doesn’t really know what’s going on 99% of the time.

he learns very quickly though, and pretty soon he knew all the movies and basic “kid” stuff that every kid needs to experience within a week

he goes for swims in the nearby lake every other day and relishes swimming in the pure water, unlike the water in the shower

seonho, his other merman bud, lives at their home basically and eats all their food 

still his best friend though

he looked like a kid in a candy store when he learned about halloween

dressed up as nemo and it was honestly the cutest thing to see

he is just a lovable fishy boy who wants to learn more about the world 

[goldenscript]

neighbor!jennie

author’s note: this is in the same universe as neighbor!monsta x <3

the friend crush (turned actual crush) candidate neighbor

in other words, she’s that girl you’re dying to befriend and to get to know and all that wonder stuff

she’s pretty, sweet from what you can see in your comfortable nook beside her home, and she definitely sounds like a blast to be around

minus the times where you can practically hear her and her screeching at each other for only god knows what

last you remembered it was over the last eggo waffle but you’re not gonna judge bc waffles are pretty damn good

you know she’s also a very attentive roommate to her roomie considering she’s always buying groceries and staying up to wait for her roomie too

which also brings up the mention that the walls between the apartment spaces are so damn thin, you can literally hear everything so it’s no brainer than you’ve learned all these things abt jennie by observation than actual talking

ofc you’d love to talk to her!!! you’ve been dying to for so damn long that it actually feels painful whenever you see chances to bc you don’t take them

like

at

all

your friend taehyung’s been nagging you to do it and even your roommate jiwoo who’s been nothing but an observer of you observing jennie and to say the least the two of them just want you to come out of your shell just to say hey bc that doesn’t hurt

right?

well it doesn’t but it does hurt ur pride when jiwoo purposefully locks you out of the apartment for reasons unbeknownst to you (lmao lbr u kno why but ur in denial bC YOUR ROOMIE WOULDN’T DO THT TO U RIGHT?????,,,,,,,,,,,,,)

absolutely, postively incorrect

bc she does and ur stuck in the hallway wondering if she’s actually asleep or if she’s punking you bc you forgot milk tht one time sophomore year (mind you, y’all are third years rn n you rlly wouldn’t b surprised if jiwoo did that ‘cuz of milk tbh she’s that typa person)

and you’re abt to call taehyung and ask if you can stay at his place when you hear a voice that isn’t warbled from a thin wall and is actually directed at u

“ummmm,,, are u ok?”

you actually fumble with ur phone and that causes her to giggle and wow it just sounds so freakin’ nice but holy shit is she really talking to you rn??? is that really happening???????

you’re absolutely baffled but u manage to nod and tell her that your roommate locked u out and she actually pouts on ur behalf and ur actually starstruck a lil’

it’s one thing to hear and observe these actions from jennie but it’s a complete game changer when she’s performing such actions,,,in front,,, of you,,,, and ,,,, for,,, u,,,,,,,,,,,,, FOR YOU

all u can focus on is ur heart pounding incessantly and u swear it’s ur nerves bc hey friend crushes can still make u nervous y’know n ur so engrossed in this tht u don’t even notice that jennie’s grabbed a hold of ur hand and is leading u back to her place

aND UR BRAIIN IS SUDDENLY LIKE !!! bc holy fuck is that really happening???

you squeak out a ,,, “what”

and she just giggles at you n says “it’s no biggie, my roomie’s out with her bf n i can’t just leave a pretty face like yours out! someone might snatch u y’know??”

“t-thank u,,,,”

“jennie” she smiles tho u kno her name n u kno it well tht it actually makes u super happy that she even knows urs bc after u say it she just grins at u and says “i know”

and basically at her apartment, u see how neat and nice it is with all the black and pink decor on her end w/ roses n these really gnarly looking motorcycles tht she winks at u abt bc her baby’s still in the shop rn and she even offers to take u on a joyride somewhere bc you’ve never once been on a motorcycle but u wouldn’t mind going on one

it’s a first for her but it actually makes her light up to see someone showing interest in something that she adores!!!

u eventually find out tht next to motorcycles she actually rlly loves event planning n that’s why she’s doing communications as a major bc one day she’d like to be in her own pr firm n showcase new and vibrant things that’ll benefit others bc next tht she loves helping others so if what she does can helps others then she’ll feel fulfilled in life

it explains a lot considering she’s always helping people,,, like always

from making sure her roomie’s fed to volunteering at homeless shelters to even tutoring young children, she’s even trying to get into a peer mentor program at the local middle school (a lot of it happens at different times in the year but she has no issues with any of it bc it makes her happy)

srsly she works to the point of overwork and even her roomie has to drag her out by the ear just to get the girl to relax

and evidently this is one of those days where she is relaxing (by helping u lolol) but also she rlly appreciates the attention and attentiveness you’re showing her bc you love listening to her talk and explain what certain things are and it makes her so so so so happy ok

at first it’s miniscule things that make her happy from those little hang outs you two will do now that the ice has been broken to even the times you’ll actually accompany her to a few of her volunteering tasks and she’s so certain she’s found a great new friend, a wonderful friend even tho u can honestly say that the friend crush has become more bc holy shit ??? jennie’s amazing how could u not see her as something more y’know?

and even tho ur certain she doesn’t feel the same and jiwoo calls bullshit like every chance she gets with u, the ultimate game changer happens,,, The Sludge

so two doors down are Changkyun and Jooheon, the resident rappers who have had the notoriety of suffering from the horrific gross substance tht no one can rlly label to a T but to say the least it’s Terrible and Nasty and just N O

so even tho those two were struck with it bc of their lack of pay in the water bills, that gross stuff is just traveling all around the floor - even kihyun and hyunwoo and other residents have suffered thru it so on a very unfortunate day it struck jennie and her roomie’s

fortunately her roomie got a place with changkyun meanwhile jennie was kinda left without,,,, n on tht day u actually see her outside of ur apartment door looking v torn n ur like “jennie???”

her eyes go wide and she manages a wave n u ask what happened n she just deadpans n says “The Sludge” so you understand

and instead of waiting for her to ask bc you kno a part of her wants to but the other part that hates being a burden is lingering so you just invite her to stay n u give jiwoo a heads up and tht blonde roomie of urs is like “w/e she’s staying in ur room”

which she does cuz u force her to bc it won’t hurt u to stay on the couch esp when there’s a guest

she’s pretty begrudging abt it but she manages to deal n she actually enjoys the way you’ve decorated everything and notes just how nice it all is and ngl but she doesn’t miss the photo of u n her on ur bulletin board of ppl you care abt n it makes her feels so warm and touched,,,, it’s like the first instance of her becoming certain of her feelings for u

it’s all small ofc but the more she stays with u, the more ur on her mind n the more she enjoys her times at ur place (which ur loving btw bc she’s a wonderful roommate who will help cook n does grocery shopping bc the damn Sludge is still infesting their apartment)

she does what she can to help and jiwoo loves it and you love having her around so much

in this close proximity you’re able to really see those little things abt jennie like how she loves milk ice cream, how she’s very meticulous in the way things are placed, and how she copes with her stress by organizing even if it can be a bit of an issue

like lisa and jisoo have had their entire desktops cleaned n organized to an utter t after jennie’s done with it (jisoo: “there’s srsly never a simple sleepover with her man”)

but for some reason, she won’t do that to your stuff? like ok she doesn’t organize stuff just cuz she wants t disrespect the owner; most of the time it’s ‘cuz they gave her permission but with you??? she’s not sure and she hasn’t asked

it’s different cuz with her friends they let anyone touch their stuff

but you?? she doesn’t wanna just be anyone to you anymore

she wants to go on motorcycles rides with you and take you to her favorite beach when everything’s too much

she wants to take care of you and show you how much she cares and how much she loves those little things abt u even if u hate those beauty marks and “blemishes” and all that other stuff

she wants to hear you talk about ur favorite book and why then watch the movies to talk abt how lame they were or how you loved a movie and why

she just wants to do anything and everything with you and it’s really just eating at her bc this isn’t another event to plan or really something she can just organize away

hell she can’t even ride her motorcycle away bc all she can think abt is the way you practically lit up when she offered to give u a ride n she decides to just take a risk and stop you after one of your classes

you’re a little confused but you go with it bc she seems pretty distracted by something n u need a break from stats anyway so when she hands u her helmet u take it and watch her put on her space

she tells u to hold on and u do for dear life even if ur screaming at ur heart to shut up bc this is the first time you’ve been this close to her and it makes u tighten ur grip bc you dont want her to disappear

funnily enough, she doesn’t want u to either and she just relishes in ur touch

and so you both wind up at that beach and it’s so beautiful n ur in awe bc holy fuck tht ride was amazing and this,,, T H I S is amazing!!!!

she finds you so adorable and she’s just like “yeah,,, yeah this is.....”

n you look at her in confusion, sitting beside her on the shore even if the cool sand clings to ur legs, “what’s wrong? you seem off lately?”

and she shrugs, looking torn once again bc she’s thinking back to how you accepted her in, always offered a hand to her whenever she needed it whether it was helping her carry a box of event programs or even tutoring her in a class, like,,,, she never realized how much she enjoyed you taking care of her bc she’s constantly taking care of others

so she just blurts out “i like you” she goes for it bc why the hell not??? it’s better to get an answer this way

you’re shocked ofc but eventually you’re like “fuck, me too”

bc having her there? so goddamn close???? those feelings really bloomed and it’s silly and cliche but you can’t help but smile and say “jennie i like you too”

and lemme tell ya rn, she couldn’t be happier,,,,even when you both later find out that the Sludge was fixed nearly two weeks ago bc her roomie promised she’d get her back ,,,,, she just brings u close into her arms and u two watch the waves in ease and in this nice mutual satisfaction and rlly that’s all you both could ever ask for~

[jeonclouds]

2018 books / February

2018 Brooks / February.

February books. January 20, 2018 | Tessa MM. (08/48)

Keeping track of my 4 books of the month…

1. Alice’s adventures in wonderland

2. The stranger - Albert Camus

3. Los 4 Acuerdos.

4. Chicken soup for the teenage soul.

Alice’s adventures in wonderland (005):

 “Down, down, down, how far have i fallen now?”

 “Oh, why did i cry so much?”

 “Never get angry” ((thats a bad advice caterpillar)).

 The Stranger (006):

 “I may not have been sure about what really did interest me, but I was absolutely sure about what didn’t.”

“I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.”

“Since we’re all going to die, it’s obvious that when and how don’t matter.”

“Have you no hope at all? And do you really live with the thought that when you die, you die, and nothing remains?“ "Yes,” I said.”

“And it was like knocking four quick times on the door of unhappiness.”

PS: i remember i hated this book because i saw myself within Mersault, he is really, uh how you say it in english? Huraño, distant? aloof? he is portrayed as someone detached and emotionless, just the same way as i portray myself to the world and ppl around me. He is very impassive and he doesn’t really think about events or consequences and i was like ‘okay same!’, i think thats bad, he feels content with his indifference over the world, maybe bc he is protecting himself from pain (like me). He is so casual and indifferent over life events, i was pissed when Marie (his gf) asked if he wanted to marry her and he said he didnt cared lmao, that he would do it if she wanted to, and i was like bitch tf!!?? but at the same time i was like 'okay…me’ It made me reflect on myself and how i react when he killed the arab and he didnt showed any signs of guilt or remorse, there i was like 'okay thats not me’. His behavior is so distant and unresponsive, and he literally sees life and the people around him with despair, he appears to be so apathetic, its, its fucking annoying and amazing and it honestly makes me think about myself and how i make the world see me, its, ugh. It was a good book but i did not liked the fact that i could see so much of myself in the main character, a few moments ago when i was pondering about this i started to really think that…i, don’t want to be seen like that, and its scary to know that people could actually see me being that way, behaving that way, responding that way, because i know that i have done it, and now i dont like it anymore, as much as i want people to see me as someone 'mysterious’ i dont want them to see me as someone who doesnt care about her surroundings damn this book, it was a good book though, annoying as fuck, and it bored me and pissed me off, but its still a good book, i will carry with me the lesson i have learned from it, so, thanks joonie for the recommendation.  

 Los 4 Acuerdos (007):

“Estoy hecho de luz, estoy hecho de estrellas”

“Lo que realmente somos es puro amor, pura luz”

“Tu no escogiste tu lengua, ni tu religion, ni tus valores morales: ya estaban ahi antes de que nacieras. Nunca tuvimos la oportunidad de elegir que creer y que no creer. Nunca escogimos ni el mas insignificante de estos acuerdos. Nisiquiera elegimos nuestro propio nombre.”

'El 95% de las creencias que almacenamos en nuestra mente, no son mas que mentiras, y si sufrimos es porque creemos en todas ellas’

'En el sueño del planeta, a los seres humanos les resulta normal sufrir, vivir con miedo y crear dramas emocionales. El sueño externo no es un sueño placentero; es un sueño lleno de violencia, de miedo, de guerra, de injusticia.’

'El sueño personal de los seres humanos varía, pero en conjunto es una pesadilla. Si observamos la sociedad humana, comprobamos que es un lugar en el que resulta muy difícil vivir, porque está gobernado por el miedo.’

’ En el mundo entero, vemos sufrimiento, cólera, venganza, adicciones, violencia en las calles y una tremenda injusticia. Esto existe en diferentes niveles en los distintos países del mundo, pero el miedo controla el sueño externo.’

'No es la muerte; nuestro mayor miedo es arriesgarnos a vivir: correr el riesgo de estar vivos y de expresar lo que realmente somos.’

 'Los seres humanos nos castigamos a nosotros mismos sin cesar por no ser como creemos que deberíamos ser. Nos maltratamos a nosotros mismos y utilizamos a otras personas para que nos maltraten.’

 “Acuerdo 1 - Se impecable con tus palabras: Las palabras captan nuestra atención, entran en nuestra mente y cambian por entero, para bien o para mal, nuestras creencias. ”

 “El mayor pecado que cometes es rechazarte a ti mismo.”

 “La cantidad de amor que sientes por ti es directamente proporcional a la calidad e integridad de tus palabras. Cuando eres impecable con tus palabras, te sientes bien, eres feliz y estás en paz.”

 “Sé impecable con tus palabras. Este es el primer acuerdo al que debes llegar si quieres ser libre, ser feliz y trascender el nivel de existencia del infierno. Es muy poderoso. Utiliza tus palabras apropiadamente. Empléalas para compartir tu amor”

 'Usa la magia blanca empezando por ti. Dite a ti mismo que eres una persona maravillosa, fantástica. Dite cuánto te amas. Utiliza las palabras para romper todos esos pequeños acuerdos que te hacen sufrir.’

 Acuerdo 2 - No te tomes nada personalmente: Cuando nos tomamos personalmente lo que alguien nos dice, suponemos que sabe lo que hay en nuestro mundo e intentamos imponérselo por encima del suyo.

 'Si eres veraz contigo mismo, te ahorrarás mucho dolor emocional.

 Acuerdo 3 - No hacer suposiciones. La manera de evitar suposiciones es preguntar.

 Acuerdo 4 - Haz siempre lo maximo que puedas. Si haces lo maximo que puedas viviras con gran intensidad. Vivir con plenitud. No necesitamos saber ni probar nada. Ser, arriesgarnos a vivir y disfrutar de nuestra vida, es lo unico que importa.

 'Si eres impecable con tus palabras, no te tomas nada personalmente, no haces suposiciones y siempre haces lo maximo que puedas tu vida sera maravillosa y la controlaras al 100x100’

 'Si te caes no te juzgues’

 'El perdon es la unica manera de sanarnos’

 'Quiero que utilices tu imaginacion y la percepcion de tus nuevos ojos para verte a ti mismo viviendo un nuevo sueño, una vida en la que no sea necesario que justifiques tu existencia y en la que seas libre para ser quien realmente eres. Imagina que tienes permiso para ser feliz y para disfrutar de verdad tu vida. Imaginate que vives libre de conflictos contigo mismo y con los demas. Imaginate que no tienes miedo de expresar tus sueños. Sabes que quieres, cuando lo quieres y porque no quieres. Tienes libertad de cambiar tu vida y hacer lo que sea como tu quieras. No temes pedir lo que necesitas, decir que si o que no a quien sea o a lo que sea. Imagina que vives sin miedo a ser juzgado por los demas, Ya no te dejas llevar por lo que otras personas puedan pensar de ti. Ya no eres responsable de la opinión de nadie. No sientes la necesidad de controlar a nadie y nadie te controla a ti. Imagínate que vives sin juzgar a los demás, que los perdonas con facilidad y te desprendes de todos los juicios que sueles hacer. No sientes la necesidad de tener razón ni de decirle a nadie que está equivocado. Te respetas a ti mismo y a los demás, y ellos te respetan a ti. Imagínate que vives sin el miedo de amar y no ser correspondido. Ya no temes que te rechacen y no sientes la necesidad de que te acepten. Puedes decir: “Te quiero”, sin sentir vergüenza y sin justificarte. Imagínate que te amas a ti mismo tal como eres. Que amas tu cuerpo y tus emociones tal como son. Sabes que eres perfecto tal como eres.’

 'Puedes andar por el mundo con el corazón completamente abierto y sin el temor de que te puedan herir. Imagínate que vives sin miedo a arriesgarte y a explorar la vida. No temes perder nada. No tienes miedo de estar vivo en el mundo y tampoco de morir. ’

  Chicken soup for teenage the soul (008):  

The love we give and recieve is all that matters, and all that is remembered, suffering dissapears, love remains. “Have i told you yet today that i love you?”

 “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir.

 Think of the people in your life, ate there any words you’d like to say? Are there any hugs you want to share? Are you waiting and hoping someone else will ask first? Please dont wait! Initiate! - Charles Faraone.

 I have learned never to underestimate the healing power we all have. It is always there to be uded for the highest good. We just have to remember to use it.

 "What i am is good enough if i would only be it openly” - Carl Rogers.

 “I own me and therefore i can engineer me. I am me, and i am okay.” - Virginia Satir.

 “Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”  

 “Most everything that you want is just outside your comfort zone.”  

 “Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.”

 “Keep in mind that part of growing up is dealing with difficult issues, and the benefits can be great if you have the courage to ask for help. Human beings are not designed to go through life alone. No one has to bear the burden of tough times all by themselves.”

 “Sometimes you dance with a partner, and sometimes you dance alone. But the important thing is to keep dancing.”  

 “As you take a few minutes each day to quiet your mind, you will discover a nice benefit: your everyday, “ordinary” life will begin to seem far more extraordinary. Little things that

previously went unnoticed will begin to please you. You’ll be more easily satisfied, and happier all around. Rather than focusing on what’s wrong with your life, you’ll find yourself thinking about and more fully enjoying what’s right with your life. The world won’t change, but your perception of it will. You’ll start to notice the

little acts of kindness and caring from other people rather than the negativity and anger.”  

 “You only have control over three things in your life—the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take (your behavior).”