#but i heard this song for the first time in 2016 and when i tell you it altered my brain chemistry

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

wails on the floor about five's peter pan imagery for the rest of my fucking life

[cupidbedsy]

𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 | 𝘲𝘩43 ♔

➪ summary: follow quinn and y/n through their journey of going from best friends to lovers

➪ warnings: reader has a shitty day, mentions of parents fighting, hate comments, that's all i think?

➪ word count: 5.1k

➪ file type: song based fic - reupload

➪ sunny's notes: i forgot how much this tugs at my heart. i'm sorry this took a little longer than i hoped it would but it's finally out again. i hope you guys enjoy it again - blog maintenance is happening tomorrow if i can get my computer to work :)

© cupidbedsy (sunflower-lilac42) ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

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i'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife 

˚₊· senior year of high school (2016-2017)

She was having a tough time, school, finals, graduation, work, everything and anything that she did seemed like it was ganging up on her. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason for her stress, but there were many things she could blame it on. On top of it, her parents had been fighting nonstop for the past month. It wasn’t like they hadn’t before but this time it was worse because she felt like she was the cause of it.

Quinn had invited her over for some dinner, hoping to at least relieve some of the stress from his best friend’s shoulders. When she arrived he could see the stress on her face, she looked as if she didn’t want to come in the first place. 

He stepped aside and let the girl in, “Hey, y/n/n.”

“Hey Quinner,” She gave him a tired smile. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, just tired.” She ran a hand through her hair before following Quinn to his room, saying hi to Ellen on the way. Ellen looked at the girl strangely, “Hi, y/n.”

“Hi, Mrs. Hughes.”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Ellen, hon.” She pressed a kiss to her head, “Are you okay? You look-”

Bad? Drained? Stressed? Annoyed? Tired? All of the above? Is what she wanted to say, but didn’t, “I’m just a little tired right now.” Ellen nodded but looked unconvinced, shooting her oldest a look who shook his head.

He lightly took the girl’s arm and took her to his room, offering her to sit on his bed which she took gratefully. She looked around his room and at the posters on his wall before looking over at where he now sat at his desk. He was already looking at her with a small smile on his face, concern still lingering in his eyes.

The two stared at each other for a moment before a knock was heard on the door, “Hi.”

The two looked over to see his brothers standing there, “Hi Jack, Luke.”

Quinn didn’t reciprocate his best friend’s kindness, “What do you two want?”

“We just wanted to give y/n this.” Luke pulled out one of his bear stuffed animals from behind his back, “You looked sad.” Jack stood there, slightly out of place, mostly because this was Luke’s idea instead of his, but he liked y/n enough to go with him.

“Awe, thanks, you guys.” Tears made their way to the corners of her eyes but she refused to let them fall in front of the two. 

Noticing her expression, Jack waved goodbye and dragged the eighth grader behind him. Y/n held the bear in her lap, arms wrapping around it tightly as she tried not to think of the events that happened before she got here. 

“Y/n/n? Are you sure you're okay, because if not-” Quinn’s overwhelming concern for her made the tears bubble over in her eyes and a sob ripped from her throat, “I can’t do it anymore, Quinny.” 

Quinn was quick to get up from his desk chair and stumble over to his bed to wrap the girl in a hug. He knew he didn’t have to do anything but hold her tight as she dug her head into his chest, the stuffed animal still clutched tightly to her chest. 

It took her about ten minutes to calm down, tear after tear, and for her it felt like it would never stop. Quinn did what he always did and waited for her to stop so he, or she, could talk about it. He knew if he tried to talk to her while she was crying, she wouldn’t listen, nothing got through to her when she was crying this hard. 

When she pulled away to wipe away her tear-stained face, Quinn opened his mouth to talk, “You know you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you can, I’ll always listen.” He reached his hand out to wipe away one tear that she missed, one blackened by her mascara, leaving a trail of the makeup it held behind it. 

She held a weak smile on her face at the warmth his hand brought to her cheek and looked at him, “Just finals and other shit like that, the usual. Plus, my parents were fighting again, I think that was my final straw.”

Quinn nodded his head, recognizing the tone in her voice that said she didn’t want to talk. Her face looked more tired after crying and he sighed, scooting back to rest his back against the headboard. Y/n looked at him confusedly but smiled when he opened his arms. She was quick to lay against his front, laying her head on his chest once more, still holding the bear in her grasp. 

Ellen walked by twenty minutes later to tell them that dinner was ready, but when she peaked into her son’s room and saw both of them with their eyes closed she smiled, closed the door, and walked away telling the rest of the family to be quiet as they slept. 

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

and if it was an open-shut case i never would've known from that look on your face lost in your current like a priceless wine

˚₊· end of senior year/graduation (2017)

Both of them knew the feelings that they harbored for each other but were both unsure of how the other felt. Neither one of them wanted to mess up their current friendship, they had been best friends since freshman year. 

It had never been that simple between them, their friends saying how they looked like a couple everywhere they went. She would always wear his jerseys to his games or one of his shirts and he would always show up to her events with unwavering support. 

Whenever someone saw Quinn, y/n wasn’t too far behind and vice versa, whenever y/n was asked what she was doing that night, she would say hanging out with Quinn and vice versa. They would always be caught holding hands or leaning up against one another or literally any other way that looked like they were dating. 

They never said anything though, and they wouldn’t until graduation. Quinn and y/n stood side by side taking a picture with each other as they waited for their parents to find them. Y/n knew Quinn was good at hockey, good enough to get drafted, good enough to make the NHL, it was no secret. But because of Quinn’s birthday that wouldn’t happen for at least another year.

She was worried, she didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t want him to become this big-shot hockey player and forget about her, she didn’t want him to become a self-absorbed player with an ego bigger than himself. Though deep down she knew he would never let his ego get that big, but the forgetting part? As much as she told herself he wouldn’t and knew that he wouldn’t she couldn’t get past the ‘what if?’

Quinn waved a hand in front of her face, snapping a couple of times to gain her attention, “Y/n. Y/n. Y/n.” He dragged out the last syllable of her name. 

She looked at him, her eyes getting rid of the glassed-over look by blinking, “What?”

“I’ve been talking for the past couple of minutes and you, my dear sweet y/n, have not responded. You have just been-” Quinn looked over to where her focus had landed when she spaced out, “staring at that tree.”

“Oh sorry.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“What’s going to happen?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’re going to go to school for one year and then you’re going to get drafted. You’re going to go away somewhere and play professional hockey for a living and you’re going to forget about me.”

“Who said I was going to forget about you?”

“No one, just me and my thoughts.”

“Well, you and your thoughts are wrong, because I could never forget about you.” He tilted her head down to kiss the top of her head.

“That’s what you say now.”

“I’ll you fly out to wherever I’m playing, Nashville, Toronto, Vancouver, anywhere, and I’ll let you punch me if I forget about you because you are the best fucking thing that has ever happened to me. Since freshman orientation, I knew you were the one.”

“Are you just saying that because I was the only one who would talk about hockey with you?”

Quinn, being bold, slid his hands underneath y/n’s graduation gown, grabbing onto her waist through the fabric of her dress and pulling her close to him. She stumbled at the unexpected action, causing the boy to apologize before placing his index finger underneath her chin and lifting it so her eyes would meet his, “Look at me.”

She sighed when the two made contact. Quinn noticed the fear in her eyes, she truly didn’t want to lose him and he didn’t either, “I know you’re worried and so am I, but I promise you this-”

She didn’t want to hear what he had to say, the whole bullshit of the promises not to forget about her, she’s read it plenty of times in books, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Quinn.” She averted her eyes away again, directing them to the other families around them.

“Hey.” Quinn once again moved her head so her eyes had no choice but to look into his own, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Quinn but that doesn’t really change-”

“Just shut up for one minute, will you? I love you, y/n. And I don’t mean the typical I love you that you give to the girls. I love you and I was too afraid to tell you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship and I didn’t know how you felt but I thought if there was a time to tell you this, it would be now.”

Y/n looked at him in shock, the words she had been waiting for since she walked into the auditorium for orientation. This wasn’t real life, was it?

Quinn stared at her blank face as she opened and closed her mount a couple of times, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

The boy went to walk away but she placed a hand on his arm, “No! No, I’m sorry I just didn’t know what to say. I love you too, Quinn.”

“You do?”

She nodded and Quinn wasted no time placing his lips onto hers.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

life was a willow and it bent right to your wind head on the pillow, i could feel you sneaking in

˚₊· fall of 2021

She loved Quinn, she truly did, but not that much that she was willing to stay up into the early hours of the morning/late hours of the night for him after a game. She texted him saying that she was going to bed and that she was proud of him for his game. 

It was the first time since they moved in together that Quinn had a night home game. Getting used to the rhythm that was going to be for the rest of Quinn’s hockey career was starting slow. She wasn’t used to him coming home at late hours of the night or leaving in the early hours of the morning before the sun was up to go to practice. 

She didn’t mind it that much though, just knowing that he was coming home to her was good enough for the both of them. She laid in bed, hoping that she would be able to stay awake until he got home but she fell asleep within moments of her placing her ends down on the pillow.

When Quinn got the text, he had just finished putting on his suit jacket and he wanted nothing more than to go home to his girl and lay next to her in their newly shared bed. But, his teammates were not going to let that happen. 

They dragged him to a bar to have one or two drinks before heading home. He thinks he’s never detested his teammates this much before this moment. When he finished his first drink, he said goodbye, practically running out of the doors of the bar. 

He unlocked the car and practically sped home and crept into the apartment, just in case y/n was already sleeping. He set his things down and walked into the bedroom and smiled when he saw her curled up in the sheets, a shirt of his adorning her body much like in college when he’d go to away games. 

He took a quick shower, not wanting to prolong the duration of not having her in his arms. He put a pair of sweatpants on before carefully lifting the covers and sliding into bed. Y/n, who had been awake since he walked in the apartment doors, turned over, “Hey Quinner.”

Quinn’s eyes snapped to his girlfriend’s, “Hi sweetheart. I’m sorry, did I wake you?” 

“No, I was just a little cold and then I heard the front door click open.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were awake?”

“Because then I would’ve had to wait even longer for you to come to bed.”

Quinn smiled, kissing her, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

life was a willow and it bent right to your wind they count me out time and time again

˚₊· 2022

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 『 instagram 』

_quinnhughes

liked by yourusername, jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 58,527 others

_quinnhughes happy fifth anniversary to this gorgeous girl. and while we both know that five should really be a nine, i'm glad i've been able to call you mine for the five of them. i love you, y/n <3

tagged: yourusername

view 309 comments

yourusername: quinn... i love you so much 💙

⤷ _quinnhughes: i love you too pretty girl 💚

⤷ user: the canucks colors 🥹

jackhughes: proud of you for putting up with him for so many years @/yourusername

⤷ yourusername: my pleasure

lhughes_06: congrats you two!

*liked by _quinnhughes & yourusername*

user: five years? hah, that's humorus

user: can't believe she's kept him for that long, thought quinn would've dumped her when he made the nhl

user: she's not even that pretty, i don't see the appeal

user: probably just using him

user: don't see this lasting any longer

_eliaspetterson: congrats guys! happy five years

*liked by yourusername & _quinnhughes*

bboeser: my besties!

⤷ _quinnhughes: please do not ever use that word again

⤷ yourusername: i think it's sweet, quintin

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

life was a willow and it bent right to your wind but i come back stronger than a 90's trend 

˚₊· 2022

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 『 instagram 』

nhlwags

liked by yourusername, _quinnhughes, canucks, and 8,432 others

nhlwags as we ring in the holiday season, y/n is back with her famous gift bags! we heard cookies were the hit thing this year.

also wishing these two a (very) belated fifth anniversary, hope quinn and y/n have many more years to come (maybe a ring soon 👀)

tagged: yourusername, _quinnhughes, canucks

view 98 comments

yourusername: my favorite time of year! always glad when i get to make the team things. (and yes, i'm hoping for a ring too 😔)

⤷ user: if you don't get a ring, it's rigged. wya @/_quinnhughes??

⤷ yourusername: fr

_eliaspetterson: cookies were amazing as always, treating us well over here

bboeser: our little baker!

jackhughes: this is preposterous! we never got any cookies :(

⤷ yourusername: you know what that word means?

⤷ jackhughes: when did you start becoming a bully to me

⤷ yourusername: when i started hanging out with you too much

user: gagged them fr

user: well... she shut them up

user: me looking for all the hate comments to defend my girl

user: i really wanna know what the famous y/n cookies taste like

⤷ j.tmiller9 heaven

⤷ colemcward: the greatest thing on this planet

⤷ conor.garland8: amazing

⤷ jackhughes: perfect

⤷ lhughes_06: everything you would want them to taste like

⤷ _quinnhughes: i'm starting to get the sense you guys only come to my house to taste her food

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark show me the places where the others gave you scars

˚₊· summer of ‘19

“Meet me at the dock after everyone goes to bed” was the text y/n got at ten o’clock. She smiled to herself when she read it and patiently waited for everyone to go to bed before sneaking out of the house and running down to the dock. Quinn sat with his feet dangling over the wood into the water waiting for his girlfriend. When he heard footsteps behind him, he turned around and grinned when he saw her running towards him. 

They hadn’t had a moment alone together in almost three months. When Quinn had to fly to Vancouver to make his debut, she couldn’t come with him, having to finish her classes. Then she was staying with her parents for the majority of May and into June and she wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. Quinn had been finishing up some things with the team and he ended up spending some much-needed time with his family. 

Ever since y/n had gotten to the lake house, she had been helping Ellen with things and spending time with Luke and Jack because they wanted her to. They played Mario Kart and other video games, and the two made her go out on the boat with them and made her watch as they did tricks and flipped into the water. 

Quinn patted the space next to him but instead, y/n took her spot right on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. His eyes widened at the sudden contact but happily wrapped his arms around her waist, snuggling into one another. 

Y/n looked at him, “So, I guess I’m dating a big-shot NHL player now, huh?”

Quinn merely shrugged, “I guess you are, aren’t you?”

“Yes, unfortunately, because he’s living in a totally different country than me and in the opposite direction.”

“Aw, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that. He must feel terrible.”

“Oh I don’t know, he gets to be a free man.”

“I wouldn’t say free, more sad.”

That comment made her perk up, “What’s wrong?”

“I just, miss you.” His voice ever so slightly cracked and she could see the tears starting to form in his eyes, “Honey. Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

At the nickname, Quinn immediately started crying,  he had missed her so much, much more than he ever imagined he would. He never really thought about the fact that his best friend, his girlfriend, his everything would be in Michigan while he was in Vancouver. 

“No, it’s not okay. I get to live out my dream but my dream isn’t complete without you there. We’re going to be 2,368.82 miles apart for at least the next two years. I don’t think I can do it.”

Y/n hated it when he cried, it broke her heart into a million pieces when she saw the tears trickling down his face. Much like he always did with her, she reached up and cupped his face, wiping his tears off his face, “Listen to me. We are Quinn and y/n, y/n and Quinn, when has anything ever stopped us from being apart? Where's Quinn from when we graduated, huh? The Quinn who promised me that he would never forget me and that everything was going to be okay? Just because we’re however many miles you said apart doesn’t mean anything. So now it’s my turn to promise you something. I promise you that we are going to find a way to make this work.”

Quinn nodded his head, still a little unconvinced about her words. In a way to distract him from the thoughts that he never thought he would be able to escape, she looked at the scars on his body and started asking him questions about them. 

Some were from his childhood when he, Jack, and Luke would be playing a game or messing around and one of them would throw something at him or he was pushed over. Some were from when he played hockey when he was younger, getting shoved into the boards or shoving someone else into the boards. Some were from the games he played in the spring, his first games in the NHL. Those were y/n’s favorites and least favorites. Favorites because it was from his dream, and the stories behind them would last forever, least favorites because they reminded her of how much he could get hurt doing this. But that wasn’t something she wanted to worry about right now. 

All she wanted to do was think about this moment, the moment they were living in as the stars illuminated where they sat on the dock, in each other’s arms, talking about random stories from each other’s childhood. 

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

now this is an open-shut case guess i should've known from the look on your face every bait and switch was a work of art

˚₊· fall/winter of 2023

“You guys would never guess what I found when I was cleaning the other day.” Y/n came walking in from the room she had been in. 

Jack and Luke sat at the table with Quinn and Ellen and Jim sat near their sons, one of the days leading up to the Hughes v Hughes game. They all smiled as the girl came bounding in, Quinn had just placed down his tiles when she spoke and he raised his eyebrows, “What’d you find, hon?”

Y/n placed a fluffy object down on the wood surface, “Luke’s bear that he and Jack gave me when we were in high school.”

“Paulie?” 

“You still remember its name?” Jack laughed loudly and Ellen got up to hit the middle child on the back of his head, “Don’t make fun of you brother.”

“Oh, come on. You have to admit, it's a little funny.”

Luke blushed heavily and Quinn quirked an eyebrow, “Why do you still have that is my question.” He took the bear into his grasp and started fiddling with its arms, “Because.”

She shrugged and all five of the Hughes’ looked intrigued, “Y/n, you have to tell us.” Jack insisted as he leaned forward, messing up the game that had previously been going on. Quinn and Luke groaned at their brother’s actions. 

“Because,” She ripped the bear from her boyfriend’s grasp and held it to her chest, “Because it reminds me of that day when I was sad and you guys cheered me up. It was the first day I felt a part of the family.”

“I remember that day.” Luke spoke up, looking between everyone in the room, “Jack and I were sitting on the couch when Quinn opened the door for you and you came in and you looked all…”

“Dead?”

“I was gonna say sad but I guess that works too. Anyway, when you two went up I told Jack my plan and he hesitated about it but I knew he had a soft spot for you so he caved in easily. I ran to my room to get the bear and give it to you.”

“It was a stupid, plan.” Jack laughed again but he knew how much it meant to y/n. 

The girl shrugged and hugged Luke from behind, resting her arms on his shoulders as they wrapped around him, clasping her hands together, “It’s okay, Luke. I loved it.”

Ellen smiled, “And following, you’ve always been a part of the family. Ever since Quinn came back from freshman orientation just bragging about the girl he met.”

“Mom.” Quinn threw his head back in annoyance and y/n giggled, “You talked to your mom about me? From freshman orientation? Ew, I was just a dork back then.”

“If I remember correctly, Quinn couldn’t stop talking about the girl that wore a Patrick Sharp Blackhawks jersey one or two sizes too big, with her hair in braids who talked about hockey with him for the duration of orientation.” Jim patted his son on his shoulder as Quinn continued to clench his eyes in embarrassment. 

“Do we really have to relive this moment?”

“Maybe not now but Ellen and I are definitely going to talk about this when you aren’t around.”

“Hey look at that, she called me Ellen! It only took her ten years.” The woman teased as she wrapped her in a hug. 

“Hey! I thought I was being respectful, and it’s a force of habit.” Y/n blushed as she smiled and gasped when all of a sudden an armed wrap around her and Quinn pulled her into his lap.

“Quinn!” Quinn hid his face in the crook of her neck and breathed deeply, “I’m never going to live this down. 

“Probably not.” Looking at her watch, y/n realized the time, placing a kiss on Quinn’s forehead. 

“I should be going to bed, I got work in the morning. Night everyone!”

The four let out their goodnights and Quinn whispered an ‘I love you’ and y/n repeated the words to him before heading into their shared bedroom. The five Hughes’ sat in the kitchen for a couple of minutes in silence until Jack spoke, “So, when are you going to ask her?”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

the more that you say the less i know

˚₊· freshman year of college (2017-2018)

Sitting at one of the tables in the student center, y/n sat across from Quinn as he talked about whatever was going on in the hockey world. She understood hockey, enough to be able to watch the game when it was happening and she knew some of the stats, but anything past that, not a clue in the world. 

She loved it when Quinn talked about hockey though. His eyes lit up and held this glint in them, he talked really fast, just spewing out nonsense. It was the highlight of her day when it happened, it was at least once a day if not more. He would always show up outside her dorm room or offer to take her to dinner. 

Every time he did, it always took Quinn a while to notice that his girlfriend wasn’t responding and this was the same. Quinn was rambling about Ohio State’s hockey team and the upcoming game against them and she just sat there, amused by his voice and his facial expressions. 

Quinn was halfway through his ramble when he finally made eye contact with her, “You’re not paying any attention to this are you?”

“I’m sorry, babe, but it’s really hard to when you look like that when you talk.”

“Look like what? An idiot for not knowing my girlfriend is not listening to any word I say?”

“No, hot.” Quinn’s cheeks reddened as he looked at her, “You never fail to make me blush do you”

“Absolutely not, and anyway, you know I never understand hockey. I try but it’s all in one ear and out the other.”

“I think one time we need to set up something so you can learn everything you need to know. Get you a book or make you a slide show or something.”

“Sure, Quinny. Whatever you say.”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

wherever you stray i follow

˚₊· september of 2021

“You can just put that box over there.”

Jack placed down the box where y/n said, “How much stuff do you have?”

“Wow, Jack. Can’t believe you’d be so mean to me. This is why Luke is my favorite.” Y/n placed her arm around Luke as he walked into the apartment, “What?”

“Nothing, you poor innocent little man.” Y/n walked away to start unpacking the box Jack had placed down not too long ago.

“Do you guys need any help?” Luke asked politely, following after his brother’s girlfriend. 

“Nah, I’m okay. Thanks you guys, just chill out for a little bit before we go out for dinner.” The two nodded, sitting on Quinn’s, and now y/n’s, couch.

Just at that moment, Ellen walked in from the hallway and Quinn followed her, “It would be nice of you two to actually help y/n instead of just sitting there.”

Jack threw his arms up, “We offered to help her and she said no!”

“Actually, I offered but yes, she said it was okay.”

Y/n nodded her head, “I did.”

『••✎••』

Later that night, y/n and Quinn were standing in the living room, looking out the window. Quinn was standing behind the girl with his arms wrapped around her waist, “I can’t believe this is real.”

“I know, the lights are beautiful.”

“Not that.”

“Then what?” She looked up at him to see a lovesick expression on his face. 

“You here, in Vancouver.”

“Hey, you didn’t want me to be here in the first place.”

“Yeah well, I wanted you to do what was best for you. I didn’t want you to move all the way out here just because I was here.”

“How dumb are you?”

“Very, apparently.” 

She smiled again and rocked the two of them side to side, “Whatcha wanna do?”

Quinn just winked at her eliciting a giggle from her.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

i'm begging for you to take my hand wreck my plans that's my man

˚₊· july/august of 2021 + november 7, 2021

“Quinn please!”

“Y/n, I’m not letting you do this. You had it all planned out since the moment we both got our acceptance letters.”

“I know that Quinn, but things change, plans change. I want to be with you, forever. I want to be wherever you are, please just let me come to Vancouver with you.”

The two stared at each other, eyes locked. They had been arguing for the past hour, ever since y/n brought it up. She had just graduated college and with Quinn having been in the NHL for the past two years she got a taste of what it would be like to do long distance, and it was horrible for both of them. 

“You know what it's like. These past two years have been horrible, Quinn, and not just for me and you know it.” Her voice cracked, “I would rather wreck everything I have planned for my future just to move to Vancouver for you. I can find a job there.”

“Are you sure, like 100% sure about this?” Y/n placed her hands on his cheeks, “Of course, I’m sure.”

Quinn nodded his head, “When do you want to move in?”

『••✎••』

It was November when y/n was able to go to Quinn’s first home game. It was a Sunday and they were playing the Stars. She was extremely excited as she threw on her jersey and drove to Rogers Arena. She met up with some of the wags that were going to the game as well and they sat in the suite waiting for their husbands to start playing. 

When they all came out, they cheered in unison watching them skate. They conversed slightly, giving y/n teasing comments and glances every time the announcers would mention Quinn or he had done something even remotely good for the team. It was worse when he got sent to the penalty box for cross-checking in the first period.

Most of them gave her cheeky grins when they showed him in the box, some giving her nudges. She blushed deeply as they made their comments. She didn’t know what was up with him tonight, he got three primary assists and a penalty. 

After the game, the wags excitedly took the girl down to the tunnel to wait for Quinn, “Hey, there’s your man.”

Y/n looked up and smiled, “That is my man.” 

Quinn smiled brightly, picking the girl up and spinning her around, “I can’t believe you’re here! You’re actually here!”

“Alrighty, Quinny, calm down. You’re causing a scene.”

“Sorry, babe. I’m just really excited that you’re here.” He smiled down at her, his hands on her lower biceps, just above her elbow, “I can tell.”

“What do you say, you guys want to go out for dinner?”

“Quinn, I got work in the morning. I need some sleep. Maybe another time though?” The girls nodded their heads at y/n and let the young couple wander off out of the arena and to their car.

“I’m really glad you’re here. I don’t know if I would’ve survived another minute without knowing you weren’t waiting at home for me.”

“Well, you never have to survive another minute without me again. Unless you’re on a road trip then, yes, but you know what I mean.”

Quinn and y/n were so in love it was actually kind of annoying to some people, but they had to admit that they were absolutely adorable.

© cupidbedsy (sunflower-lilac42) ; do not copy, repost, or translate my work and designs on any other website or here

[lemoncrushh]

This Is Me You're Talking To

Summary: You and Harry are divorced, but you both still have feelings for each other.

Warnings: Divorce, smut (sex with the ex), angst, lots of feelings

Word count: 3924

A/N: Written in 2016. Inspired by the song of the same name by Trisha Yearwood. Obviously, this isn't for everyone, but it's very personal to me and one of my favorite things I've written. Please be kind.

Hate is a strong word. At one time you might have felt like you hated him. But it had been a year now since the divorce and you'd both moved on. You'd resolved that you just weren't meant to be together and were never really on the same page. In the beginning of the relationship, you'd convinced yourself that you were okay with his busy lifestyle and the fact that your time together was limited. But after five years of marriage and two kids, you'd come to resent him for that exact fact, and you finally agreed it was time to separate.

Two months ago, you were out with friends for a long overdue girls' night out, the kids staying the night with your mother. You hadn't expected to run into Harry. You saw him regularly when you would drop the kids off for their time with him, but other than discussing their needs, you didn't speak to him very much. It just wasn't necessary. Knowing what he was doing with his personal life was no longer your business and frankly you didn't care.

So, when you were about to make your way to the bar behind your friends, you stopped in your tracks when you saw Harry slipping his arm off the back of a beautiful brunette. One of your friends twirled around to give you a wide stare, the other muttering "oh shit" and asking if you were okay. You rolled your eyes and assured them you were fine before continuing to the bar.

After ordering your cocktail, you caught a glimpse of Harry looking your way out of the corner of your eye. Quickly turning back to the bartender, you gave him a smile and a healthy tip when he handed you your glass.

"Y/N," you suddenly heard in an all too familiar voice.

"Hi, Harry," you sighed, barely looking at him.

"Out with some friends?" he asked with a weak smile. You knew that smile. You knew all of his smiles, actually, and what each one meant. This was his nervous smile.

"Yeah," you replied emotionlessly before taking a sip from your straw.

"You look amazing," he commented, stepping closer to you.

You shut your eyes for a moment, telling yourself his words didn't mean a thing. "Thanks," you said, eyeing one of your friends in hopes that she was ready to move to a table.

"How are the kids?"

"Fine," you nodded. "They're at my mom's."

"Good. I'm looking forward to seeing them next weekend."

You continued to nod, having nothing to add.

"How've you been?" Harry inquired.

"I-"

"Baby..." you heard a female voice from behind Harry. You saw her painted nails on his shoulder before you saw her face. "Let's go sit over there."

"Love, this is Y/N," said Harry, gesturing toward you. "Y/N, this is Sharla."

It took all you had not to quirk a brow, but instead you extended your hand, shaking the other woman's.

"Lovely to meet you," you smiled with pursed lips.

"You too," she said nonchalantly before releasing her hand from your grip and placing it on Harry's bicep.

"Well, I guess I'll...see you..." Harry grinned shyly.

"Yep," you nodded once more.

"Good for you," you suddenly heard behind you as Harry and the brunette walked away.

"I'm proud of you, Y/N," your other friend said as she wrapped her arm around your neck.

You let out a breath. "Gotta admit," you muttered, "that was harder than just seeing him when I drop the kids off."

"Well of course it was. Is that the first woman he's dated since you?"

"I have no idea," you replied, turning around. "But that's the first time I've met one."

"C'mon hon," bestie number one looped arms with you. "We're gonna find you another man."

You chuckled as you walked with your friends to the other side of the room.

"What the fuck kind of a name is Sharla?"

"Desiree had a little cold this week," you explained as you handed your two-year-old to Harry's open arms. "She seems okay now, but I put some medicine in the bag in case you need it."

"Alright," nodded Harry before turning to his daughter. "You feeling better now, Desi?"

Desiree beamed her angelic smile. "Better."

Harry gave her his mini version of a fist bump before giving her a kiss on her forehead. "Wanna watch TV with your brother?" Bringing the little girl into the living room, he set her on the sofa next to her four-year-old brother.

"Cameron, get your shoes off the couch, please," you instructed.

The little boy kicked his shoes onto the floor without prying his eyes from the cartoon he was watching. Crossing your arms, you turned to Harry.

"Something smells good," you commented.

Harry grinned. "Thought I'd make some spaghetti."

"Look at you," you quipped. Then you gazed around the room. "Where's Sharla?"

Sharla had been at Harry's the last two times you'd dropped the kids off. Though she'd been pleasant enough, you could feel her eyes throwing daggers at you the entire fifteen minutes you were there.

"Um...dunno," replied Harry with a shrug.

"She was busy?"

Harry ran a hand through his hair. "We broke up."

"Oh," you said softly. "I'm sorry."

Harry raised his brows and quickly looked away. "Yeah."

Biting your lip, you watched Harry turn for the kitchen where he stirred the contents of a large pot.

"Well, I guess I'll be going," you muttered.

"You um..." Harry stumbled, "wanna stay? For dinner?"

"Oh, I don't-"

Your words were quickly interrupted by the buzz of a timer.

"Damn, forgot about the garlic bread." Harry hastily opened the oven door and grabbed the baking sheet, not bothering to put an oven mitt on.

"Shit, bloody he-"

"Harry!" you exclaimed, just as he dropped the baking sheet on the counter.

"Sorry," he said, thinking you were upset at his cursing in front of the children.

"What do you think you're doing?" you scoffed.

You grabbed his hand and pulled it to the sink, running cold water over it. You could hear Harry's heavy breaths as he stood next to you, his chest heaving.

"You can't just grab something out of the oven without gloves, Harry," you scolded.

"I know," he mumbled. "I was..."

You lifted your eyes to him, his pouty lips partially open as heavy breaths continued to puff out.

"You were what?" you inquired.

"Distracted."

Exhaling slowly through your nose, you averted your gaze and returned to the task at hand.

"Looks okay," you cleared your throat, turning off the water. "Doesn't seem to be burned too bad. But you might wanna put some ice on it."

"Thanks," Harry said so low that you barely heard it.

Reaching in the freezer for an ice pack, Harry turned his back to you as you dried your hands on a dish towel.

"Daddy!" squealed Cameron as he came trotting into the kitchen. "Are we having pasketti?"

"We are, little man," Harry confirmed.

Cameron danced to the table, taking his seat without being told. Walking over to him, you kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodnight, baby, Mommy's going." Giving him a hug, you walked past Harry to kiss your little girl goodbye.

"You sure you don't wanna stay?" you heard Harry ask.

Lifting Desiree in your arms and propping her on your hip, you returned to the kitchen. "I don't know..."

"There's plenty of food," Harry gestured toward the pot. "Way more than we'll eat."

"It does smell good," you hesitated.

Harry gave you a smile. This was different than his nervous smile from earlier. This was his 'c'mon, you know you want to' smile. Stepping up to the stove, he grabbed the wooden spoon he'd been stirring the sauce with, bringing it over to you, his hand underneath to catch any drops.

"Give it a taste," he said.

You let him gently lift the spoon to your mouth as you tasted the delicious Italian seasonings.

"What do you think?" he asked.

You swallowed. "I think I'm staying for dinner."

Harry continued to smile as you walked over to the table and set Desiree in her high chair. Harry got a bowl ready for Cameron and set it in front of the patiently waiting boy. Then he did the same for Desi, giving both children a sippy cup of juice. You sat next to your daughter as you watched her starting to make a mess.

"Desi, you're gonna get more on your tray than in your mouth," you chuckled.

"She likes it that way," joked Harry.

You couldn't help but beam at him as he laid a plate of spaghetti and garlic bread in front of you, another plate for himself next to you. Returning to the kitchen once again, he uncorked a bottle of wine and poured two glasses.

"Cheers," he said when he handed a glass to you and sat down. You clinked glasses and took a sip.

"Oh that's the good stuff," you commented.

Harry winked. "You noticed."

Early in your relationship you'd confessed to Harry that you had a weakness for red wine. One night he surprised you with an expensive bottle that knocked your socks off. After that, he always made it a point to get it again for special occasions.

"What did you get this for?" you inquired.

"No real reason," Harry shrugged.

You eyed him as he took another sip and set his glass down, digging his fork into his spaghetti. Raising a brow, he looked at you out of the corner of his eye until you quickly picked up your own fork.

The four of you had a pleasant dinner. For some reason it didn't feel odd or uncomfortable. It felt like old times, although your kids were a year older.

After the meal, you helped clean up, wiping Desiree's face and setting her down to let her run back to the living room. Just as you were cleaning off the table and Harry had put the leftovers in the fridge, you turned around to find him pouring more wine.

"I hope you're not pouring that for me," you scoffed.

"Why not? You always used to drink two glasses. Sometimes three."

"That's when I didn't have to drive home," you rolled your eyes.

"Who said you have to now?" Harry asked before taking a sip from his glass.

You narrowed your eyes. "Harry."

"Wha'?" he sounded.

Shaking your head, you were about to reach for your purse that you'd left on the counter when Desiree emerged from the living room and took your hand.

"Mommy!" she said with excitement.

"What baby?" you asked her.

"Sit wiv meee," she replied, tugging on your fingers with her tiny hands. You followed her lead into the living room where she pointed to the sofa and demanded for you to sit. When you obliged, she climbed into your lap. Looking up, you saw Harry with a massive grin on his face. Then he crossed to the room to Cameron's other side and sat down beside him.

"What are we watching?" you whispered in Desiree's ear.

"Pooh bear!" she answered.

You and Harry sat through the rest of Winnie The Pooh and half of some other program that came on after it until you realized both kids were asleep. With delicate precision, you rose from the sofa with your baby girl in your arms, and Harry scooped up a sleeping Cameron. He followed you down the hall until you stopped at Desi's room and laid her down in her bed. Pulling the covers over her and pushing her hair back from her face, you kissed her temple. Then you met Harry in the hallway and traded places, giving Cameron a goodnight kiss. Shutting their doors, your eyes met Harry's and you gave him a tight-lipped smile before heading to the bathroom. When you came back out, he was standing in the kitchen again.

"Thanks for the dinner," you said softly. "It was nice. You know, to be with the kids and put them to bed."

"Yeah, usually I have to read them at least two stories each," he smiled. "Just something about their mum, I suppose."

You blinked, lowering your gaze. "Well anyway, thanks. I'll come pick 'em up Sunday."

"Wait..." he insisted when you turned for the door. "You're not gonna finish your wine?"

You twirled back around, the full glass of wine still sitting on the counter. "Um..."

"It's your favorite," said Harry, lifting the glass. "It'd be a shame to waste it."

"Harry," you shook your head, "what are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Wha'? I'm not doing anything. I just thought you'd like to have your wine. Just because we're divorced doesn't mean we can't be in the same room, does it?"

Licking your lips, you dropped your bag and keys on the counter again. He was right. It wasn't like it meant anything. You could be civil. "Okay."

Taking the glass from him, you followed him into the living room and sat on the couch.

"How's work?" he asked you.

"Ppppffff" you sounded, nearly spitting out your wine.

"Was that not a good question to ask?"

"You wanna talk about my job?" you rolled your eyes.

"I just wanna know how you're doing, Y/N," Harry remarked. "I know you don't believe it, but I do still care."

You sighed, sitting back in your seat. "It's fine. Work is good. No major complaints."

"Good," Harry nodded, "I'm glad."

His eyes seemed to be burning into yours so you had to look away, taking another sip of wine.

"Have you been seeing anyone?" you heard him ask and you flinched.

"Why?"

"I just wondered. You deserve to be happy, Y/N."

You huffed and shook your head.

"What did I say?" he looked taken back.

"Sorry, I just don't get out as much as Harry Styles. I don't have the opposite sex throwing themselves at my feet. Or the same sex, for that matter."

"Y/N..."

"What happened with Sharla?" you asked, rolling your eyes again as you pronounced her name.

Harry let out a low, short chuckle. "Sharla...was...not for me."

"But she seemed so perfect for you, Harry," you teased.

He narrowed his eyes. "No, she wasn't. Far from it."

Your expression softening, you tilted your head. "So what did happen?"

"She didn't want to be with someone who had kids," he swallowed. "Simple as that."

"I'm sorry," you muttered.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "It's alright. There were other things too, but that was sort of the deal breaker."

"What other things?" you asked curiously.

Harry looked at you and puckered his lips in thought, no doubt trying to decide whether he wanted to divulge this information.

"She wasn't very bright," he stated matter-of-factly.

You let out a giggle, covering your mouth with your hand.

"She once asked me what country Alaska was in."

"Oh my god," you laughed harder.

Harry chuckled, shaking his head. "I know. That shoulda been a red flag."

"Poor thing," you said.

"Who? Her or me?"

You threw your head back laughing some more until you realized you should keep your voice down since the children were sleeping. You finished the rest of your wine in one large gulp, setting the glass on the coffee table. It was then that Harry got up from his seat and walked to the kitchen, returning with the wine bottle.

"Harry!" you exclaimed when he started pouring into your glass.

"Not much left," he insisted. "We need to finish it."

With a scoff, you took the glass. You figured you might as well. You were already feeling tipsy, so it wasn't like you'd be driving right then anyway. Besides, as much as you wanted to deny it, you were feeling comfortable with Harry for the first time in over a year. Maybe it didn't have to mean anything. It was just...nice.

"Oh hey, I wanted to show you something," Harry finally said after you'd been sitting in silence for a few moments. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he swiped the screen until he stopped on something that made him smile. "Here."

You took the phone from him and noticed it was a video. Pressing the screen, it came to life. In the center was Cameron sitting on the floor, a toy drum between his legs. You could hear the sound of a guitar strumming in the background and a voice singing, no doubt Harry's. As soon as Cameron started banging on the drum, little Desiree showed up in the screen, doing her best to dance to the mixed rhythms. You watched the video in awe, smiling from ear to ear. By the end, you were all choked up.

"That was great," you commented, handing the phone back to Harry. You sniffed and wiped your eyes.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

You nodded. "I loved that. You're..."

As your voice trailed off, you felt Harry shift on the sofa, sliding closer to you.

"What was that, love?"

"You're such a great father," you declared. "They love you so much."

"I love them, too."

"When did you take that?" you asked.

"Bout a month ago," he replied. "I kept meaning to show you, but forgot."

You nodded silently. Looking into Harry's eyes at that moment, you felt a sudden wave rush over you, like you were being pulled under. It was like the feeling you used to get with him, when things were good. As you lifted your glass to take another sip, Harry reached for it, stopping you. Taking it from your hand, you watched him set it on the coffee table. Then scooting even closer to you, he slid his hand under your ear. When he tilted his head to kiss you, you didn't stop him. You'd known it was coming, it was one of his signature moves. But you allowed his lips to press against yours. Even when he continued with the kiss, slipping his tongue inside, you didn't stop him. Instead, you allowed your body to come alive, urging him to keep going.

Dragging his lips down your neck, he felt him hum against your skin. His hands encircled your waist, the pads of his fingers traveling up your back as your own hands got tangled in his hair.

"Harry..." you finally sounded, not really sure how you planned to end that sentence.

"Tell me," he demanded, his voice low and raspy in your ear.

"What?"

"Tell me you want me," he finished. "Just like you used to. I need to hear it again."

You swallowed hard, not immediately fulfilling his request. When he lifted his head to look at you, his emerald eyes looked dark and full of fire.

"Tell me, baby," he repeated.

"I want you, Harry," you admitted. "I want you to make love to me."

With a nod, Harry kissed you passionately before rising from the couch and reaching his hand out for you to take. You followed him into the bedroom where he kissed you again, lifting the hem of your shirt until it was over your head and dropped on the floor. You fumbled with the buttons on his shirt and removed it, adding it to the pile. You wasted no time removing your jeans and underwear before you lied down on the bed.

As Harry hovered over you, warnings began to go off in your head. It had been so long. Your body missed his so much it ached. But your head was telling you this might not be a good idea.

When his lips met yours again, however, your body won out. You were so thirsty for him, you knew you had to have him, even if it was wrong.

Neither of you said a word. Your actions and your eyes spoke everything. With heavy eyelids, slid down your body, licking and sucking your nipples the way you liked. Everything he did was the way you liked. He knew your body better than anyone had or ever could.

When he made his way between your legs, you gasped and closed your eyes. His hands on your thighs, he nipped at your clit before sliding his tongue up your slit. He worked his magic, moving in circles, slowly at first before picking up speed. You grasped at the sheets beneath you as you felt yourself reach the edge, your toes curling.

"Oh my god," you finally sounded, a low deep moan rising in your throat as you felt the orgasm rip through you.

It wasn't until you were coming down, catching your breath, that you took in your surroundings and realization hit you. This wasn't your husband. He hadn't been for a long time. You had moved on a while ago. Yet, here you were in his bed.

Kissing your inner thighs, Harry lifted his head and returned to hovering over you. You legs trembled from the aftermath as he gave you a lopsided grin.

Harry didn't ask if you were ready for him. In all your time together, he just always knew. He didn't need to ask. You were always ready for him. Your body craved him. Swiping his hand up your wetness, he used it to lubricate his erection before entering you. He thrust a few times before you turned your head to stare at the wall. You weren't sure why, but you could feel the tears coming. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, you told yourself.

Grabbing hold of your thigh with one hand, his other next to your head, Harry moved in and out at a steady rhythm until he finally slowed to a stop.

"Look at me," he breathed.

Your head still turned to the pillow, you fought back the tears.

"Please," he begged. "I'm inside you baby, you can't look at me?"

Your chest shook with sobs as you finally lifted your eyes to look into his. Although they were dry, they revealed the same feelings and emotions as yours.

"I love you, Y/N," he declared. "I never stopped."

As another tear trickled down your cheek, you lifted your hand to touch Harry's face.

"You still love me too, don't you?" he asked.

Biting your lip, you nodded. Harry leaned his forehead against yours.

"Then what are we doing? We should be together."

A tiny sound rose from your throat as you threaded your fingers through his hair. Lifting his head slightly, Harry looked at you.

"Yeah?"

"Yes," you heard yourself agree, making Harry smile.

"God, I've missed you," he groaned, his hips slowly pumping once more. "So much."

"I missed you too," you admitted, your eyelids fluttering from the sensation.

"Feels so good."

You nodded again. You couldn't deny it. He felt incredible. He'd always been the best, the only one who could make you feel this way. So loved, so desired, so wanted.

You came together within minutes, panting with clumsy kisses. Afterwards, Harry turned out the light and pulled the covers over you. He didn't have to ask you to stay the night. Once again, he knew. He always knew.

As you lay there in the darkness, you wondered what this meant for the future, for your family. Maybe you didn't need to decide right away. Maybe you could start over, take it step by step. But one thing was certain. Wrapped up in Harry's arms was like home. And that's where you wanted to be.

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Ivan Campo - Dice Man 2011

Taken from the 2011 album 'What Went Wrong?', Dice Man is a song inspired by the 1970s book 'The Dice Man' by Luke Rhinehart. It tells the story of a man who decides to live his life and make decisions based on the roll of the dice.

Ivan Campo are a British indie-folk band that have been writing, recording, and performing music together for 20 years. In 2023 they released two singles: 'TIME' and 'Golden Hair' whilst they continue to record their next album - a collection of songs based on episodes of Rod Serling's 'The Twilight Zone'.

With their distinct sound of alternative folk, founding members, Adam Shaw, Ben Atha, and Will Rogers were introduced to a wider audience in 2010 when the television series 'Skins' used their song 'The Great Procrastinator' in Episode 1 / Season 4.

The group gathered more attention after Ben Atha was invited to go to Los Angeles in 2016 to play James Bond in the Epic Rap Battles of History YouTube series.

Their last album 'Season of the King' secured the band a 4th live session on BBC 6 Music, as well as a special appearance on prime time Spanish TV programme, Late Motiv, performing their Sherlock Holmes inspired song 'The Bloodhound and the Fox'.

"Dice Man" received a total of 65,7% yes votes!

Follow Ivan Campo here on tumblr! @ivancampomusic

[szasfuckingwife]

SOUNDGASM

RICHBOY!EREN YEAGER x RICHGIRL!READER

WARNINGS: SMUT, Eren calls reader a slut and whore, swearing, Eren is a secret fuck boy, reader has she/her pronouns, no mention of reader’s appearance other than what she’s wearing

SYNOPSIS: Y/N is new to Marley, just moving a few months prior. Her parents are rich doctors and she wants to be a professional golfer. At the country club, Grisha Yeager introduces his son, Eren Yeager to her. As she teach him how to improve his golfing, Eren teaches her one or two new things..

A/N: it’s finally summer time, and this summer me and my friends are going golfing🤭 i hope i find my eren + soundgasm is such a summer song, reminds me of 2016 drake for some reason

It’s 1:25pm at the country club. The sun is shining, the grass was greener than the pockets of the people there. And, above all, a pretty brunette and a pretty blonde are in that field playing a good game of golf.

Eren has his club in hand, his eyes are on the ball. Noticing that he won’t get a good swing from that distance, he scoots himself back a few steps until he finally feels comfortable. His veiny hands latch onto the club a little tighter as he takes a deep breath.

“Are you gonna hit the ball or…?” Armin is tired of waiting. He’s been waiting for his best friend ever since kindergarten. Eren had to stay behind a grade? Armin was waiting. Eren had detention? Armin was waiting.

But waiting for his best friend to hit a stupid ball was so damn infuriating.

Suddenly, Eren’s club went sky high before he hit the ball, sending the white sphere flying over the sky. The green eyed boy whistled in satisfaction; he was getting better each day.

Eren turned to his friend with a smug look on his face, “See! You want perfection? Be patient.”

Armin rolled his eyes before the two heard the familiar voice of Grisha Yeager, Eren’s father and the CFO of a tech company.

“Boys! Get in, drinks are out!” He yelled, waving his hand to grab their attention but all they could see was the bling of his Rolex. “Oh, and son? Getting better!”

Eren smiled, flashing his pearly whites.

“Not better than me though.”

This was your first time at this country club since your parents moved states. Not only was it awkward as most of the girls your age played tennis instead of golf, but all the guys who played golf were…facially challenged.

“Sweetheart, smile.” Your mother spoke through gritted teeth. She had noticed your unusual (but expected) awkwardness even when you were driving to the club.

You looked at her before sighing deeply, “Everyone here is just…weird.”

“The girls play tennis. You know how to play, why don’t you join them?”

Oh yeah, join the girls that laughed when they saw my personalised club!

If anything, you wished your mother would stop trying to get you to have fun so much, because all it did was remind you how much fun you were missing out on back home. It was heartbreaking to say bye to genuine friends and say hello to well…the plastics.

“Y/N!”, You heard your father’s voice and instantly turned around to spot him. He waved you over, looking eager and excited.

“Why is he so happy? I’m scared..” You mutter at your mother. She laughs and pushed you to his direction.

You try not to draw as much attention to yourself as you walk despite your very loud father yelling your name. Upon arrival, you see Mr Yeager, your fathers new friend.

He’s also the man that prompted the idea to move states.

Your father enthusiastically put his arm over your shoulder, “This is my daughter, Y/N.”

You stick your hand out to shake Mr Yeager’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you sir.”

“Nice to meet you too. Your father tells me that you’re applying to U of M. What’s got you so interested in Marley?”

If you wanted to be frank, and boastful, you’d tell him that you didn’t apply but rather you got a scholarship. Whether it was nepotism because it was your dads alma matter or if it was your big brain and athleticism, it was the best offer you’ve gotten.

“I heard they do good Neurology courses. I wanted to go to university and well, to put it short, make sure I have a plan B.”, You reply, smiling sweetly at both your father and Mr Yeager.

Grisha nods in acknowledgment, giving you back the same smile, “What’s your plan A then?”

“Professional golf, of course.”

It sounds boring, but golf was one of those hobbies that just never went away. You remember when you were 9, going with your father to the golf course just to see what it was like. When your dad taught you how to hit the ball, you loved it.

As you grew older, hitting the golf ball became your outlet. Like that one time you imagined that it was your teachers head instead of the ball after she gave you a C in a test.

Where others prefer an ice rink or a race track, you prefer your club and the nice smell of freshly cut grass.

“Y/N reminds me of Jordan in ‘88 but instead of a basketball court, it’s a golf course.”, embarrassment filled your body as your dad bragged about you. All you could do was laugh at his strange comparison.

“Ah, my boy does some golf in his spare time. He’s not trying to go pro, I hope, but, he could definitely use some lessons from you if you’re that good. In fact…” He looks around, squinting his eyes. “Eren!”

Right then and there, you pray with every bone in your body that this ‘Eren’ wasn’t those boys you saw earlier. God knows what you’d do to avoid teaching them a single thing.

What came, however, was a surprise. And the surprise came in the form of a boy. Not too old, maybe nineteen. He wore navy shorts and an emerald green ralph lauren vest over a plain white tee.

His hair was gelled in a small bun in the back of head. You don’t mind though, since it gave you a better view of his chiselled jawline. You’re sure it could cut your mothers diamonds at home. His eyes were green. No brighter than the grass outside, no deeper than the vest he was dressed in but some odd mixture.

He’s hot, you thought.

Grisha out a firm hand on his sons shoulder as he introduced you and your father to him, “This is my second son, Eren. You’ve already met Zeke by the tennis court.”

As your father gets into another conversation about Zeke Yeager, all you can do is stare at the curve of his younger brother’s muscles. You wish that he lifted the sleeve of his t shirt ever so slightly-

“What’s your name?”

You looked at Eren, and he looked at you.

His smile was just so…genuine!

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled sweetly back at him.

After your fathers urged you to go outside, you find yourself next to Eren on the kart. He’s driving, riding across the beautiful field.

The sky is honey coloured, the sun slowly descends giving the lake a beautiful shimmer. You’d look at that view, but there’s already a good view next to you.

Eren finally stops the kart before exiting. The both of you get your equipment from the back of the kart and begin to play.

“So…uhh how do you like it here in Marley?” Eren says, grunting after he hits the ball. You stand there, semi criticising his swing, semi fawning over him. “It’s definitely different from Trost.”

You sigh, “Yeah, the air is a little different. And not too many people play golf here.”

Eren looks at you, chuckling whilst shaking his head a little, “Aren’t you glad you met me then?”

You have no idea how glad I am.

You stay silent, instead choosing to smile and getting ready to hit the ball. Eren whistles when he sees the height of your swing. “Where’d you learn how to hit like that?”

After a couple more swings (and misses from Eren), you guys sit in the kart.

“So, where are you applying for university?”, you ask looking up at him. He scoffs, taking a sip of his water.

“No clue. All these offers and all I really want to do is go to Malta ‘n relax.” You notice how careless his face is when he speaks. He must not care that much about his future.

I mean, his parents are rich enough that both him and his brother can live off them for as long as they want to.

You look down, not in embarrassment, but in awkwardness. It’s strange seeing parents not urge their kids to go to university like your parents and Trost parents do.

“What’s your plans?”

You explain how you want to become a pro at golf. Eren listens attentively but, he get’s distracted when the breeze washes over the both of you.

The hem of your sport skirts lift up ever so slightly and Eren’s heart begins to race. For the next few conversations, he can’t stay focused. I mean, he’s just seen the curve of your ass, who could?

As the conversations die down, you and Eren go back to playing golf. It’s Eren’s turn and if he’s lucky, he can get a hole in one. He does what he did earlier: pull his hips back slightly, legs apart, breathe and…

Eren swung and you swore you saw the ball fly into the stratosphere.

“Yeager, I didn’t know you were the athlete.” You chuckle, shocked that he was actually really good.

He shrugs, “I don’t try. I feel like it just comes naturally..”

You roll your eyes as you walk over to him, pointing the end of your personalised club at him, “Teach me?”

Eren licks his lips, trying to find the words to speak but, the look that you’re giving him makes him feel butterflies. “Yeah…come ‘ere..”

You begin with your starting position, y’know the position that has won you regional competitions and a 2nd place in national.

However, you hear Eren scoff. “Don’t know how you’ve been able to pull of holes in one with that position..”

Suddenly, you feel his breath on your neck as he moves your hand up slightly to your upper chest, brushing agains your boobs.

“I don’t want this to be awkward but can you move your hips back ever so slightly..?” Eren chuckles in embarrassment. You do as he says and move your hips back until you feel his crotch against you. “Now, practice your swing without the club…”

Eren was filled with glee as he felt your ass rub up against him while you practiced your swing. “Is this alright?”

“It’s perfect…So fuckin good..”

Your brows furrow and then you finally feel it. His hard cock almost bursting out of his shorts. You didn’t stop your movements, seeing the fun in making him more distracted. He was absolutely mesmerised seeing your ass go back ‘n forth on his crotch.

Suddenly, you stop, sighing with your lips tilted up into a smirk, “I feel like I’m ready now! Thanks for the hel-”

As soon as you tried to walk away, Eren pulled you back against him. You swore you heard his heart beating a thousand times per second, and his cock was still rock hard.

“I can show you a couple more tips.” He whispered in your ear, “Just gotta listen for me, yeah?”

You nod before Eren throws your club onto the ground and pulls you into the kart.

As soon as you both sneak into the lavish looking bathroom, his lips are on yours. Hungrily making out with you, not giving you a chance to breathe. He gingerly moves you against the wall, giving you more breathless kisses.

He feverishly pulls up your lilac polo top, exposing your stomach and sports bra. Nothing comes to mind as he starts to plant wet kisses along your collarbone.

You try to fondle with his dick through his shorts but Eren wouldn’t let you, deciding he wants to make you feel good before he does.

He sits you on the white, pristine counter, pulling off your shorts in the process. “Fuck, you’re so hot…”, he says in a shushed tone. You can’t help but moan when you feel his hands on you, especially when he begins to rub your clit under your panties.

He starts of slow, achingly slow. All you want is for him to ruin you, rough and hard. But Eren is a tease, he wants you to beg for him.

And, he won’t stop till you do.

Eren feels your slick on his fingers and begins to chuckle. You look so cute like this: a whimpering mess, bucking your hips against his hand. He smirks when he hears you mew small ‘Please, Eren’s and ‘it feels s’ good!’s

“You’re such a pretty girl, huh? You’re doing so- ha- so good for me.” He grins. You see him lower himself, peeling of your panties so he’s at face level with your wet pussy. “What do you want, baby?”

You looked at him with jaded eyes, “I wanna cum..”

He shakes his head, tutting. He looked so different to that sweet boy who cheered you on at the golf course. “Manners, princess. What do you want?”

As he repeats his question, he slides a finger inside you. You moan and it sounds like beautiful to the brunette. You try to regain your voice as he stares into your eyes, blankly as if he was bored.

“I want you to make me cum, please.”

He chuckles again before letting his lips meet with your pussy. Eren takes his time with you, you’re not one of those valley girls that he’s fucked dumb in the past.

You’re different, so why should he treat you like them?

Nothing could be heard in the bathroom but your moans and the sound of your wetness against Eren’s mouth. He lapped his tongue at your clit whilst he continued to fuck you with his fingers, smiling against your sex when your fingers rip through his locks.

“Taste…so good, Y/N…” He muttered. You were so so close, wanting nothing more but to make a mess all over his mouth. Eren knows, he can feel you tightening up. “Gonna cum?”

You nod quickly but just then, he stops.

“Eren-” “Shhh, turn around, show me that ass..”

You do as he says, bending over the desks as he marvels at the curve of your ass behind you. You feel Eren strike your flesh a couple of times in awe before he slides his huge dick inside you.

He groans beside your ear as he hears you gasp, “Oh my fuckk…”

Every stroke feels like he was going deeper, kissing your cervix. His hands traveled to your chest as he lifted the bra revealing your perfect tits. You moan louder as he pounces on your neck again, kissing and biting you whilst his fingers were busy playing with your boobs.

“You knew what you were doing when I was teaching you how to swing, hm?” He chuckles. When he sees you nod, Eren slaps your ass again. “Words.”

“Yes!” you cry.

“You knew that it’d end up with you like this, right? You wanted this.” He asks, earning another ‘yes’ in response. “None of your boyfriends at Trost fucked you like this.”

“N-no! No, they didn’t! Fuck!” You moan. He tilts your head so you can look at the mirror and you finally see Eren, topless. You don’t know when he took of his top, and you were too fucked out to realise. “Shit, you’re so deep in me..”

He smiles at your comment, slapping your ass once more, “I know, sweetheart. Look at you. You pretend to- fuck- be a good girl in front of everyone but now look at you.”

You feel his hand wrapped around your throat as he pulls you back. Eren’s cheek is against yours as you both look at yourself through the mirror. Now, he’s fucking you harder than he did before. Harder and faster.

“You’re such a slut, hm?” He kisses your cheek before speeding up his thrusts. Your moans are louder than ever as he continues to ruin you.

“‘s too big!” It’s scary how croaky your voice sounds. He kisses your crown before leaning your head back and forcing your mouth open with his fingers.

“Stick out your tongue.”

And after you did so, a glob of spit fell from Eren’s lips and landed on your tongue. “Good fuckin’ girl! You close?”

Mistakenly, you nod again earning another harsh smack on your ass. “Yes, I’m close!”

“Gonna be a good girl and cum for me?!” He asks, his thrusts are amazingly fast and Eren’s lips are on your neck again.

The sight of him makes you cum alone, sweaty forehead that makes his hair curl upwards, his toned body and veiny hands gripping onto your waist and his green eyes boring into yours.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming!” you cry out. When you reach your climax, Eren doesn’t stop.

If anything, he thrusts deeper, chasing after his own orgasm. Your whole body shakes in his touch as he whispers the most filthy things in your ear.

“This pussys fuckin’ mine now, you hear me? I’m gonna be the one that makes you a slutty mess. You’re gonna come to me when your horny, yeah? Anytime, baby, just say the word and I won’t wait to fuck you like the whore you are.”

Although you know you shouldn’t, you nod again, your voice is too broken to respond.

He pulls out and grabs you, forcing you onto your knees. Immediately, you let Eren put his thick cock in your mouth, fucking your face just as quickly as he fucked your pussy.

You feel his thrusts get sloppier as you finally see the white ropes of cum shoot out of his cock onto your face. He groans out so many expletives but you’re too busy finishing him off to hear, making him shake at your mouth still sucking him.

Once he’s done reaching his climax, the two of you look at each other for a moment before laughing. You both look a mess, Eren with his mouth red from kissing you so hard and sweaty from…well, fucking you.

You look like a real pornstar, Eren thinks. If it wasn’t for you very obvious ambition in golfing, Eren thinks you’d make a great model.

“We need to get back…” You whisper, “They’re gonna kill us since we left all of the equipment there.”

You stand up and reach down to get your clothes, he helps you dress and dresses himself. Eren takes a tissue and wets it with water before cleaning his cum off your face.

“Next time, I’ll fuck you in the kart. And after that, I’ll fuck you on the field.” He whispers, causing you to giggle.

[cheeseceli]

I'll be waiting

Pairing: idol Bang Chan × Gn!reader

Genre: fluff, angst, friends to potential lovers, fic (1.6k words)

Prompt: "Even ten years from now, if you haven't found somebody I promise I'll be around. Tell me when you're ready. I'm waiting"

Warnings: for a short moment there's a bit of unrequited love, happy ending tho. Mentions of insecurity back to the trainee days.

A/n: the longest fic I've ever done, I'm kinda proud of it ngl

Patience might be Chan's biggest virtue, he thinks to himself. By seeing where he's right now and where he was ten years ago, he smiles. He couldn't agree more with that statement.

2014

He still remembers the first time he saw you.

Monthly evaluation. At this point, Chan should already be used to this whole process of the trainee life. However, that day felt particularly depressing to him. Hopeless, he would say.

He had found out that JYP was about to debut a new group. A girl group. And as much as Bang Chan tried to be completely happy for his friends who could finally try and debut, he had to admit he was somewhat jealous. Four years of training and he felt like he was heading towards nowhere.

Still, he tried to practice. He sang the song he would showcase so many times he reached the point of not even feeling the words leaving his mouth. He was so lost he also didn't notice the presence of someone else in the practice room. That is, until you clapped.

Chan turned his head towards you, low-key surprised. He recognised you as the child of one of the Got7's staff. He couldn't remember your name though. He doubted he even heard it at all.

"Sorry" you finally spoke. Your voice was pretty "I'm looking for my dad. Your voice is very beautiful though. You're doing well." And with a thumbs up you went away.

Chan couldn't help but laugh. Now that was random. He could barely process what happened. But you complimented him. It had been a while since he last heard a genuine compliment.

Somewhere inside his mind, he repeated your words nonstop, filling him with motivation and hope. He also was trying to remember to ask your name later.

2016

He did remember to ask your name after all. Y/n L/n. The pronunciation of your name was beautiful, almost like a melody. Honestly, after two years of knowing you, he could affirm that your existence itself was like a sweet melody.

You both became friends, good ones at that. He also found himself developing feelings for you. That was the saddest part of it all in his opinion.

Even though he hadn't known you for so long, he couldn't see life without you. To live without your horrible jokes (that he always found funny), without your sunshine-like personality (even though most people wouldn't describe you like that. Maybe you were his personal dose of light) felt like a nightmare.

However, it felt a bit cruel that he needed to live like that. He wanted to be an idol. You were the one who was his biggest incentive. Then why, to have a romance with you, could bring problems to his career? It was almost as if destiny liked to make chan suffer.

Pick one.

Happily, Chan was patient. So patient that he decided to wait for you as long as needed. He had hopes that any time now, you would come to him. And he would be ready.

Meanwhile, he focused on becoming an idol. He couldn't give up now, especially given the fact that he knew you'd be in the front row, cheering for him louder than everyone else.

2018

He kept his promise: he followed his dream, finally achieving the so exciting debut, and still waited for you, his crush developing into the most sincere love he ever felt.

However, you had other plans. Of course, you were still there for him. You were probably the one who got the happiest with the results of the survival show. You spent countless nights with him on the practice room and in the studio. You were seeing his dream come true in first hand.

But this time, there was someone else besides you: your current boyfriend. Chan really doesn't know why he didn't think this could've happened. Of course, you were dating. You were smart, beautiful and had so much love to give. Someone else would've fallen for you at some point. And it was unfair of him to expect you to be single, waiting for an empty promise.

The saddest part of it was that your boyfriend was a nice guy. It was clear he loved you. He even made an effort to love everyone who you loved, including Chan himself. You were happy around him.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Chan got the job, you got someone to love - someone who could adore you without being scared of the media - and you both still got each other in the end.

Maybe that was what Chan could have. It's okay, right?

2020

The downfall of Chan's patience at last.

Although you both were still as close as you always were, life was leading each of you in your own direction.

You had a job, he had a job. You had your friends, he had his members. You had your own house, he had the dorms. You had your boyfriend, he didn't have a partner. But it was okay because he didn't even have the time after all.

Still, he tried to fall for someone else during this period. Being in this industry for two years now, he had the opportunity to meet a lot of people. Some fancied him, some tried to take a step further in a somewhat relationship. Some even wanted to just have fun. Chan swears he tried to give in most of the time.

Needless to say he failed at every try. He couldn't come close to someone without wishing it was you instead. His short answers were compared to how sweetly he talked to you. He didn't even bother to call people or have long conversations. He knew it was only a matter of time until his mind started the undesired comparison.

Maybe it was what the job required. Maybe it was because of his lack of time. Han disagrees though. Chan remembers how his friend insisted on the fact that his leader wouldn't even try with other people. But it wasn't his fault either, as it was a subconscious thing. Chan's mind was still wrapped around you. And his heart wanted to disagree, but it all goes down the moment he finds out you and your boyfriend, now your ex, had broken up.

Although he tried hard to deny, he couldn't help but still wait for you. No matter if there was a light at the end of the tunnel or if it was only darkness. He would wait.

2022

Something in your brain has switched, and Bang Chan can't say he really liked the difference.

Of course, you were still the greatest person he ever met. You were still his sunshine. But it seemed like you were tired. Your conception of life and love wasn't as bright as it once was and Chan couldn't help but feel worried about it.

For him, who has loved you deeply for over eight years now, to see you giving yourself less credit and affection hurt him. He doesn't know why and when it happened, but your brain was trying to shut down all genuine feelings one could offer to you. You thought you were, maybe, undeserving of it all.

Honestly, to see you slowly losing your light has wounded Chan way more than all his past experiences: from his fear of failure to his disappointment upon meeting your ex boyfriend. Almost as an instinct,he tried to solve the situation. This time, patience wouldn't do.

Without even noticing, he started to love you more. To actually show you how he cared for you, to put his feelings into words and actions. At first, your heart tried to deny any possible affection, but it soon realised it wasn't possible. Not when Chan didn't even hesitate on showing the entire world how you were worthy of love. And not once he showed it as a challenge or a burden. He was by your side, and he never made it seem hard.

The best part of it all was that none of you noticed it. He started to open up to you to try and protect you,and you opened up to him in order to heal and protect his feelings. Maybe that was patience finally showing itself as a virtue.

2024

Ten years later, it finally happened.

Honestly, Chan was still a bit suspicious. There was no way he was actually seeing this, right? Maybe he was becoming delusional after all. Maybe he started to hallucinate because of his desires. But at the same time, it felt too real.

The way you looked at him, that is. It was just a normal conversation between old friends. Between gossips and laughs, there was absolutely no reason for you to look at him like this. So lost in thought, with this shimmer in your eyes that Chan knew way too well. He knew it because he had it too.

It was love. Not the one nurtured by friends or family. The one shared just between lovers. And he was so sure of it because he knew he looked at you in the exact same way you were looking at him right now.

He smiles. For a moment, you're a bit lost, wondering if you lost a joke or an important moment. That, however, makes him laugh. He couldn't believe he just saw you fall in love on the first row.

Ah, he's been patient. Now, he can't wait for you to realise what just happened. Either way, he knows with a smile on his face that he'll be waiting for you.

I promise I'll be around.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: summer with you

Thank you for reading <3 let me know what you think about it!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143

Dividers by @dollywons

Credits for images 1 , 2 and 3

[tiramisuucakeee]

WANT U 2 MYSELF !

( idol! reader x idol! heeseung )

IN WHICH: blackpink’s y/n and enhypen’s heeseung collab and maybe do a bit more than that.

BACKSTORY: full name (born month, day, 2001, in city, country), known as y/n, is a nationality singer. she was a trainee in yg ent. for two years before debuting in 2016. y/n is the center, sub-vocalist and maknae of blackpink, as well as a soloist. she is the face of many fashion brands. y/n owns her own agency, called ihys.

read more !

heeseung pretty much almost dropped to his knees when he found out he would collaborate with a member of blackpink, not because he was a fan, but because sunoo went ballistic crazy for not being able to do so himself, getting jungwon and jake to hold him back, after all, he was blackpink’s biggest fan.

the boys later hung out in the dorm, telling heeseung how to act in presence of a worldwide known idol. they didn’t want him to spark any dating rumors like those of bts x blackpink, that were absolutely everywhere back in 2016.

he listened to some of blackpink’s discography and also watched a bit of vlogs, maybe thinking y/n was funny, but he didn’t quite know if the voices fit together. he did know she was very talented, and heard sunoo say she adapts well.

y/n’s manager had told her they were going to collab for a song to be featured as an intro in a k-drama, it was nothing like she’d ever done before, but she was really excited.

heeseung got to ihys agency earlier than expected, and was led to the meeting room, where y/n was also early. it seemed they were somehow similar after all.

for him, it was pretty crazy seeing y/n in person after watching all those concert clips and fancams, still not being able to process the level of fame blackpink had outside of korea, one that he could only dream of.

y/n introduced herself, and the first thing he said was “yes, i know,” interrupting her. great. but atleast she laughed at him.

the two spent countless hours in the studio, training their voices to work well together, and they did, incredibly well.

heeseung was bombarded by questions from his members, staff and paparazzi when dating rumors spark, since the collaboration was not yet announced to the public, since the k-drama was in process of filming, but the agencies had to reveal it to diminish the rumors.

y/n instantly called him when she received the news, telling him to not worry about what anybody said, after all they didn’t know him, plus, she didn’t mind the rumor being with him. in her words, she preferred the rumor being with him, than someone she didn’t know.

herseung paused his videogames to talk to y/n, several hours, every single time she called. even going as far as to excuse himself from practice to answer, making the rest of his members question who he talked to.

the two soon had to do an encore of the song and also some accapella video, wich showed their undeniable chemistry and connection, heeseung felt comfortable around y/n and she honestly liked his company. it was nice to be friends when both were talented and matched each other well. vocals and personality wise.

they were seen in the airing of the drama, as they walked the red carpet together, posing cutely and also in a funny way, heeseung actually didn’t mind doing a single little aegyo just because y/n said so, then letting her stand close and do some bunny ears behind his head.

the next weeks, blackpink went out on a world tour, so y/n couldn’t contact anyone. whenever she left in tour, her personal cellphone was left in her dorm in korea and her business one came along with her.

heeseung called y/n to congratulate her on the first tour show, as he was able to see it on a live video with sunoo, who even had a blackpink lightstick and a picket, but she didn’t reply, which was weird, but he assumed she was just tired, so he left a message.

but when he checked the next morning, there was no response either, which ate him alive. he had to know why she wasn’t answering. y/n meanwhile, was busy flying to her group’s next destination.

she told the pink’s all about heeseung, how great he was and how absolutely amazing he was at everything. jennie and rosé were convinced she liked him, and she should confess, or at least make it known that she feels something that’s not friendship, then proceeded to tease her endlessly.

y/n turned the idea down, and so she tried to not get distracted by picturing him in her mind while she danced and sung.

in the born pink korea concert, heeseung was convinced he just had to go, he wouldn’t let y/n ignore him without any explanation, so he watched the show and then went backstage, where he waited for y/n.

y/n cheered as the group was close to finishing touring and she could finally go back home to her dog and her friends, and of course, someone special, but it seemed he found her first.

she blinked in confusion when she saw him standing like a statue in the hallway, and then quickly threw him inside her room, locking the door behind, so no one could take pictures of them and start to assume things.

“hey, i thought you weren’t a blackpink fan?” y/n said, teasing him with a playful smirk, before turning to her mirror to take of her ear in monitor so she could hear him correctly, then adjusting her stage outfit.

“i am also not a fan of people just disappearing” heeseung replied, dangerously watching her every move in the reflection, and then meeting her eyes. “you never called”

y/n then realized how big she had messed up, she didn’t add him to her business phone contact’s, like few of her other friends in case of an emergency.

“i am very, very, very sorry” she said, and explained the situation, feeling herself glancing up at his face one heartbeat more than usual. since when was he so handsome? she had no clue, but seeing him even more closer made her realize she was completely screwed.

her actions where insane, but she insanely wanted him all for herself, so she blurted out everything she was thinking and feeling like word vomit, only stopping when she noticed his face hadn’t changed at all, even when she admitted her feelings.

“i never said anything, okay? just- forget it all” y/n panicked, and started gathering her stuff in a bag to go back to the main meeting room with the other girls.

heeseung watched her with curiosity, how she threw handfuls of makeup and hair extensions inside the bag, breahthing quickly. a small happy smirk crept up on his face, as he stayed silent, waiting for her.

y/n then turned in her heel, and jumped, expecting him to be gone, but heeseung was there, he was still standing in his spot.

“heeseung- you scared me! what are you even doing here? you can go now, i’m also leaving, the girls are waiting for me. and if i don’t leave, i won’t have time to sleep” she said, trying to get around him to the door, but he wouldn’t let her past, only laughing when she got angry, and stopped her platform boot on the floor.

heeseung would have never believed himself falling for this amazingly perfect girl, she was an ace. he was just a complete fool for her the moment he heard her voice in person, and felt like he could never get enough of it.

“don’t run away from me now” he continued laughing warmly, grabbing her arms to stop her, and then lightly booped her nose, “what you said before, it was kinda adorable”

y/n became flushed, and she gulped, before defending the little dignity she had left “i didn’t say anything at all, you’re hearing things, maybe your ego is too big like your forehead”

“woah, okay, i see how it is” he leaned back, still carrying a small smile. “and for the record, i think i want you all for myself as well” he uttered out, leaving her mouth wide open in shock.

she blurted out the quick words of “we seriously need to talk about this when i’m back”, and while heeseung tried to go in for a small hug to say goodbye but, she glitched and ran away, screaming like a crazy lovefool teen girl who just got tickets for her favorite band.

EXTRA:

masterlist !

[sweetdispatch]

Forget about us - A. Matthews

Songs masterlist

song: Forget about us - Perrie

pairing: Auston Matthews x fem!reader

summary: Retrospection from Auston and his (ex) girlfriend relationship

warning: none i think???

words: 1.8k

note: I tried to write without a name so tell me what you think and which one you prefer more, with or without!

---

One night in 2016 changed her and Auston’s lives. He just came to play hockey for local team. She got accepted on university here. Both clicked in a minute. They’ve been just a teenagers but after one party, they saw future with each other and they knew, they are made for each other.

After a month, Auston asked her to be his girlfriend. She was over the moon. He was her first true love. In 2017, she moved to his house. Despite their busy schedules, they always found times for every week dates. People were saying that they’re soulmates.

Auston had never been afraid of showing her on social media. They were one of the most popular couples in NHL. On every home game, you could see her face in the stands, rooting for him. He was more than grateful to have her by her side. She could say the same about Auston. She felt his support every time when she was at her low.

Everything changed at the beginning of 2024. She wasn’t going on his games. People were assuming that she’s pregnant and doesn’t want to be in spotlight. They hoped to see soon a ring on her finger, but this never happened. When people were asking about her absence, Auston decided to make a statement. He wrote on his Instagram that they split up. It was shock to everyone. They always looked so in love with each other and after almost 8 years of dating, they broke up. They never shared the information why they decided to part away. Lot of journalists were asking Auston questions but due respect to her, he never said anything. All they were left with, were memories.

Saw you blew up, and I’m proud of you

After they split up, she stopped paying attention to hockey. It was too hurtful for her. All she knew about this sport was thanks to Auston. With time, the city started to overwhelm her with the memories. She moved to Quebec City. In new place, she felt alive without hockey on every single step. She made new friends and got a new job. She found new hobbies like yoga and painting. She started to discover herself from the beginning.

In one of the hot and sunny days in August, she was driving her car to work. She was late already and forgot to plug her phone to put on her music. She turned the radio on just to have something playing in the background. She couldn’t drive in silence. The radio station was playing the most popular songs until they started sport news and then, she heard his name.

The journalist said “John Tavares is not the captain anymore! Toronto Maple Leafs just announced that Auston Matthews has become 26th captain in the franchise history and first-ever born American to be their captain…”. She couldn’t focus on the rest of the news. All she felt were tears going down her cheeks. She knew her makeup is ruined but she didn’t care.

She wanted to act surprised, but she couldn’t. She knew that he deserved the “C” like no one else and one day he’s gonna get it. She was super proud of him. Before she left the car, she grabbed her phone and wanted to write to him with congratulations but she stopped herself.

She started talking about this to her friends. They weren’t pleased that she’s mentioning her ex-boyfriend, but they saw how happy she is while talking about him. She was smiling all the time, and they haven’t saw her that joyful since she and Auston split up, so they let it slip.

I don’t want you ever to forget about us in the front seat,

Listenin’ to songs that made you think about me

Auston was always nervous before the games. It was causing arguments between him and her because he was taking his frustration on her. She came up with great idea. Most players take naps before matches, but he wasn’t one of them. One day, she told him to get into the car. He obeyed and sat in passenger seat. She started the car and was driving around city. She put music on and talked to him about the tv show she’s currently watching. She wanted to keep his head busy and far away from hockey.

He loved their trip and asked her before every home game to go on a little trip. She gladly accepted his offer but from now, he was driver. He preferred to have her on passenger seat where he can keep his hand on her thigh.

She was very specific about the music. She was always the one to choose songs. Auston didn’t mind it. He saw how much of a joy it is for her, to show him her favorite songs or just put one of her playlists. She loved singing in the car and soon after, Auston was doing this with her. It was always a great fun for them. For these little moments, he was grateful.

After they break up, Auston continued this tradition to calm his nerves. Before every game, he was driving around and listening to songs from her favorite playlist. It wasn’t the same like with her. He was now all alone in the car. Singing wasn’t that much fun without her. He tried couple times, but it felt wrong to him. Instead, he decided to listen to her playlist when he was driving to the rink for a game.

But when I hear your name, it’s still so raw

Auston loved her name. It was so unique, yet so normal. It was a pleasure for him to say it. He was feeling pride when he was introducing her to new people and could say it out loud. To call her his. He was using pet names towards her like love, dove, sweetheart or baby, but none of the nicknames could replace her name and how much he loved it.

When they broke up, he felt like her name is a forbidden word. He never said it again. He hated hearing it from others mouth. It felt wrong to him. When he started to hooking up with other women, and heard that one of them share the same name, he ditched the woman. It was a fresh wound for him. He didn’t wanted to disrespect the legacy she built in his life.

Do you remember the way we fell, and,

Like everything froze with just once glance?

They met in one of the clubs. Her friends visited her and decided to go and get drunk. She was more than willing for this idea. It was a casual night out. She hasn’t planned to meet anyone. She just wanted to enjoy her and her friends.

Auston went to the club with his friends to celebrate his draft. He was delighted that he’s gonna be in NHL. He planned to get drunk and maybe to hook up with someone. Nothing binding. Although this changed when he saw her.

When their eyes met in the club, both froze in a spot. She felt like she saw the most handsome men in the world. He felt like he saw the most beautiful woman in the world. He wanted to go and talk with her, but he lost his confidence. He was confident that this gorgeous girl must be in a relationship. When his friends saw his state, they pushed him to make a move.

Auston went to talk with her, and they clicked immediately. They found out that they have common passions and interests. The next day, he asked her on a date. They’ve been spending every day together and after a month, Auston asked her to be official for what she was grateful.

I don’t want you ever to forget about us

I know we were never perfect, but I think about the life we never had

She loved talking with Auston about their future. When they adopted a dog, she felt like it’s a big step for them. She always imagined their married life in a big house with a dog and kids. She was the only child and she dreamt about having at least three kids.

Auston always listened to her stories about their future life but never said anything. He saw future with her, but he felt like it’s happening to fast. Yes, they’ve been together for almost 8 years, but he hasn’t felt the need to settle down. They just adopted a dog and now, she’s talking about kids. He wanted to focus on hockey and feel free, without kids around.

He knew that he should put a ring on her finger. They’ve been together for so long and she deserved that, but he was scared. He wasn’t ready to be married. He wasn’t ready to have kids. That’s why, he decided to break up with her. He didn’t want to keep her behind with her plans. He knew how much raising a family means to her.

She couldn’t accept the fact that he’s breaking up with her over this. She wanted to fight for their relationship. Both were madly in love in each other, but Auston didn’t wanted her to regret staying with him when he’s prioritizing his career over their future life. Although, after thinking about it, she realized he’s right. Auston was keeping her from this. That’s why she agreed to split up. It was heartbreaking moment for them, but they knew it’s the best decision since they want different things.  

Yeah, we both found different love, and we’re movin’ on

After they broke up, Auston started hooking up with other women. Soon after, he fell in love with one of the girls. It wasn’t the same kind of love but still it was love for him. He moved on from his past relationship, but he could never forget her. He believed that she was the best thing that happened to him, but he knew, she never will be his again.

When she moved to Quebec City, she haven’t planned on looking for a new boyfriend. All she wanted was to heal. Through common friends, she met another guy. He was loving and caring towards her. When he asked her to be his girlfriend, she agreed. Even when she wasn’t feeling it in 100%, she was happy to have someone by her side.

I don’t want you ever to forget about us

She and Auston moved on, but the 8 years built them. They became the best version of themselves thanks to each other. Maybe they haven’t been together anymore, but they couldn’t forget about each other. Their love damaged them from having next relationships. She was comparing every guy to Auston and Auston was comparing every girl to her. With time, they realized they’ve made huge mistake by breaking up with each other but none of them wanted to reach to the other and try to get back together. They moved on but they haven’t forgot about each other.

[little-brattyangel]

Dear Liam,

The 22-year-old woman I am today feels like I shouldn’t be grieving, like I’m not allowed to mourn because I didn’t know you personally. But the truth is, there was once a 9-year-old girl who didn’t understand why her life was so difficult. She didn’t understand why God didn’t love her enough to give her happiness. She was bullied at school, her dad was gone, and her mom always seemed to side with her brother, never offering reassurance. She didn’t understand why her mom didn’t comfort her when she was scared, why she had to be the “big sister” when all she wanted was to feel safe and loved.

This girl didn’t feel beautiful. She was criticized for her weight and her looks, and her dad would give her false hope over the phone, promising he’d come back, but he never did. She blamed herself, locked herself in the bathroom to cry, asking God, “Why am I being punished?” Those were dark times.

But in November 2011, everything changed. She heard "What Makes You Beautiful" for the first time, and suddenly she felt seen, loved, and beautiful—as if that song had been written just for her. Listening to your music made her happy, so she dove into research. Who were you guys? Harry, Louis, Niall, Zayn, and her crush—Liam.

From that moment, a new kind of madness began: watching every interview, reading your biographies, learning every song, connecting with people all over the world, even learning a new language with the thought of "One day I'm gonna meet 1D and they don't know Spanish, so I need to learn English" . The fandom became her safe space. It was as if the bad things in her life weren’t as dark anymore.

She loved you all, but with you, Liam, there was something different. That smile, those kind brown eyes—you became her first love. Of course, you didn’t know, none of you did, but you and the rest of One Direction saved her life. You, Liam, especially, with your sweetness and sincerity, saved her in ways she couldn’t explain.

She grew up with your voice as her constant companion. When things at home got bad, your interviews, your songs, made everything seem a little better. When her dad made her feel worthless, there was you.

When One Direction broke up in 2016, she was 14. She read fanfics about you, kept listening to your music because it felt like home. Every year, her Spotify Wrapped showed One Direction at the top. You all saved her, not in the usual sense, but you did. Your music, your laughter, your funny moments, and even those left-footed dance moves. Everything felt better because of One Direction, because of you.

Now, years later, hearing the news of your passing feels surreal. Payno, I can’t believe you’re gone. I wish this were just a nightmare I could wake up from. My heart goes out to your parents, your son, your friends and family, and everyone who knew and loved you.

I’m sorry for not telling you how special you were, how much you meant not just to me, but to millions of people around the world. I’m sorry we didn’t see your suffering, and I wish I could have been there for you like you were for me. You saved me, and I wish I could have saved you.

Thank you for everything, Liam. You’ll never be forgotten.

I’ll love you forever,

The 9-year-old girl you saved

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG sub/translation] Bojan Cvjetićanin on WDR.de COSMO podcast, 8.3.2024

On 8.3.2024, Bojan was a guest on the 'Tvoj Korzo petkom' ('Your Friday promenade') episode of the German broadcaster WDR's COSMO podcast in Bosnian/Croatian/Serbian language. It's hosted by Boris Rabrenović. You can find the original podcast here. Transcript by @moonlvster, translation by a member of Joker Out Subs, proofread by IG GBoleyn123, subtitles by TWT pastellibianchi.

Bojan talked about the current tour, audience response, the band's history, this year's Eurovision songs, as well as the making of Everybody's Waiting and what kind of an effect the song has on him now.

The podcast is audio only; you can find it with subtitles on our YouTube channel here:

or read the full translated transcript under the cut:

Joker Out in Germany - Your Friday promenade

Host: Coming up, we're hanging out with Bojan Cvjetićanin, the singer of the Slovenian rock band Joker Out, who are currently on a big European tour, in which they will have several concerts in Germany this month, in Berlin, Leipzig, Hamburg, Cologne and Munich.

The band is well known to Eurovision fans because they represented Slovenia in Liverpool last year. Since then, they have numerous fans all over the world, sold out concerts, and they also collaborated with the famous Elvis Costello. Singer Bojan Cvjetićanin will tell us more about all this. Hello, Bojan, welcome to our musical promenade walk.

Bojan: Hello, hello. It's my pleasure.

Host: After Finland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania and Poland, you will have the first of five concerts in Germany on the 12th of March in Berlin. What are your impressions from the tour so far?

Bojan: Well, I have to say that... this is by far the biggest tour so far for us. So far, it has been really spectacular both emotionally and physically. We are very happy, we are very satisfied, the audience is wonderful, we play well, we feel good on stage, we're full of energy, and we also can't wait to put that into a musical form when we go to the studio.

Host: You sing in Slovenian, English, Serbo-Croatian. How does the audience manage the lyrics in all these languages?

Bojan: Well, I have to admit that so far, we've already done a good number of concerts abroad, and most of our audience is actually from the countries in which we play. So it's not like I could say that much of our audience comes from the Balkan diaspora or from Slovenia. Of course, we would like to see as many people from our diaspora as possible, but it's strange, it's strange to see people singing in Slovenian and Serbian, who otherwise don't even know a word of those languages, so we're not used to that yet.

Host: Last year, you represented Slovenia at Eurovision in Liverpool with the song Carpe Diem. Could you have predicted everything that would happen after that?

Bojan: Honestly, I have to say that what is happening now was our ultimate wish, a goal we believed in, but whenever you believe in a dream, there is a 99.9 percent chance that it won't happen. But truly, what is happening now is like, the best possible result for us.

Host: And tell us a little about the time before Eurovision, how long has the band existed and did you perform in countries in the region¹ even before Eurovision?

Bojan: The band has existed since 2016 and we mostly played in Slovenia. We had a concert or two in the region and both concerts were for a Slovenian audience on, like, those student trips and so on, so we only encountered audiences from the region after Eurovision.

Host: And did you manage to listen to this year's representatives at Eurovision? Do you have any favourites?

Bojan: For this year, I told myself that I would like to hear the songs for the first time when I watch Eurovision, that is, in the first semi-final. Of course there was no way I could avoid listening to some of the songs, since my social media has been flooded with Eurovision content since last year, so I have heard some things. I heard the Serbian song, I heard the Croatian song. Of course, the Slovenian song, which I worked on. I have to say that I really like all three songs, Serbian, Slovenian and Croatian, this year. They're interesting, they're different, so it's going to be an interesting year.

Host: Last year, you released the English version of the song 'Novi val' with the famous British musician Elvis Costello, so tell us briefly how that collaboration came about.

Bojan: Well, that collaboration is... a pretty surreal moment in our life. Completely by coincidence, our former bassist's godfather is good friends with Elvis, and he gave Elvis our first album to listen to and he really liked it. Later, when we released the second album, Elvis listened to it on his own accord, and he liked the song 'Novi val' so much that he offered to write the English version of the lyrics. After two weeks, when we confirmed it, after two weeks, we received an email saying that if we wanted, we could do a collaboration, which of course we said yes to.

Host: What a beautiful story. Coming up, we will hear your new single 'Everybody's Waiting', which was released a few days ago. Tell us a few words about this song, which some rate as your best song so far.

Bojan: Well... 'Everybody's Waiting' is like, I would say, an experiment by our band, a song which, as far as the lyrics go, is actually the result of certain anxiety attacks and panic that I started experiencing at concerts after an unpleasant experience on stage. So it has all been very very stressful for me, honestly, and for these last couple of months, the stage has no longer been the safest place that it used to be for me, so I had to get those feelings out somehow, and I poured them into the song. The guys from the band felt it too, and the producer also felt it, so it showed in the actual arrangement of the song as well, that it's not just a song, but rather we all understood it as a story.

So absolutely, I would also say that as a song, it is the most varied, the most interesting so far, it has a special sound, a little different from what we have done so far. The song is in English, I think it was actually the first time that an English song worked out for me that way, that it sounds good and sounds original, and that it truly poured out of me. So there you go, I'm very proud of this song, and these concerts showed that people love it a lot, they sing it, so yeah.

Host: How much has it helped you in solving the problem with anxiety?

Bojan: Well, I would say that it absolutely helps in some way. On this tour, I also had a moment of panic, anxiety on stage, and it actually ended somewhere in the middle of the song 'Everybody's Waiting', so maybe it kind of works to calm me down, so it has an effect.

Host: Then perhaps it should be the first on the setlists.

Bojan: Yes, the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and last.

Host: Bojan, thank you very much for being our guest. I wish you a lot of success in your future work, and a successful tour. And see you in Cologne on the 24th of March.

Bojan: Thank you, see you in Cologne.

Host: That was Bojan Cvjetićanin, the singer of the Slovenian rock band Joker Out, who are currently on a big European tour, during which they will have five concerts in Germany, on the 12th of March in Berlin, on the 13th in Leipzig, on the 19th in Hamburg, on the 24th in Cologne, and on the 16th of March in Munich. By the way, on the cosmoradio.de website, you can find our concert calendar for 2024 in Germany, with neatly arranged dates of all the performances by musicians from the countries in the (Balkan) region in Germany.

¹By "countries in the region" the host is referring to the former Yugoslavian countries.

[noyatv]

𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐫𝐚| carlos sainz jr

carlos sainz x fem!reader

part 2 of start of an era

warnings: this is fiction, reader sings a lot of taylor swift songs, angst, carlos sliding in the dms, minor age gaps (conor/yn-3 yrs) (carlos/yn-3 yrs), reader is said to be (southern) italian-american (not that relevant to the story).

fc: varies

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 51,368 others

ynbuscemi i remember 11 y/o me forcing my parents to put the fearless cd in. now, i get to sing with taylor. anyways, i'm announcing that midnights (late night driving edition) is now available on all streaming platforms, with 10 never before heard songs, including my personal favorite, style ft taylor.

landonorris: i wish someone would write songs about me ↳ynbuscemi wdym i wrote dorothea and seven abt you

taylorswift: we need to write more songs together

view more comments

On Monday, the world was rocked by the news of the breakup between 28-year-old Conor Kennedy and his 24-year-old girlfriend, Italian-American singer-songwriter Y/N Buscemi. The couple had been together for almost six years and was a favorite of the paparazzi and celebrity news outlets.

The news was even more surprising considering that Y/N Buscemi is friends with Kennedy’s ex-girlfriend, Taylor Swift. The two had met in 2012 when Buscemi was just 14 and Swift was 22. Kennedy was 18 at the time. It’s unclear exactly how they became friends, but it’s speculated that it was due to Buscemi's elder sister, Victoria, who may have introduced them.

This is not the first time the pair have broken up. In fact, they have broken up twice, the first time being back in 2016. Reasons for the first breakup are unknown, but some speculate that it was because of Y/N and Taylor's friendship, the latter of the two, not being comfortable about her friend dating her ex.

The second time, was because of scheduling issues back in 2018. Conor was finishing up his degree at Harvard, while Buscemi was writing songs for her, then, upcoming album, serpente, and was in the process of helping Taylor write songs for Lover.

Since the announcement of their breakup, Kennedy has been vocal about his desire to reconcile with Buscemi. He has made no secret of his feelings, posting several heartfelt messages on social media about how much he loves and misses her.

At this point, it’s unclear what the future holds for the couple. While Kennedy continues to express his love and longing for Buscemi, the public is left to wonder if the two will be able to patch things up. Only time will tell.

this took way too long and it made me wanna kms, there will be a part 2

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Gekirock interview (April 2016)

The GazettE's refined take on heaviness surges forward with intense momentum in their new single, 'UNDYING'!

Interviewer: First of all, congratulations on the final tour performance at the National Yoyogi Gymnasium, First Gymnasium. How do you feel looking back on the live show?

RUKI: Since there was a gap between the live shows, I might not have been very calm. I was consciously telling myself, "Stay calm! Stay calm!"

Interviewer: The Yoyogi performance had a really elaborate production, and everything about it was of an incredible quality. The album DOGMA, released last year, is a dark work, but I personally felt that by performing those songs with such skill and quality, even the audience members who hadn't fully digested the album were able to embrace everything during the live show.

RUKI: Now that you mention it, I see what you mean (laughs).

Interviewer: Also, I was really struck by the depth of love from the fans. In terms of unity, the arm movements during the "un deux trois" part of "INCUBUS" were amazing. How does something like that become so ingrained?

REITA: It's not like we're creating the choreography (laughs).

RUKI: The fans are doing the choreography, and I just align with them to make it seem like I'm leading it (laughs).

Interviewer: At the end, during the MC, it looked like someone was crying…

RUKI, REITA, Aoi, and Uruha: It was the leader (Kai)...

REITA: Yeah, the leader (laughs). Before the double encore, he was behind the stage making little sobbing noises (laughs).

Everyone: (burst out laughing)

Kai: No, I wasn’t making sobbing noises! (laughs)

Uruha: You were slumped over, so I wondered if something had gone wrong or if you were angry.

Kai: I was just exhausted! I wasn’t angry (laughs)!

Aoi: But you were crying, weren’t you?

Kai: No, I wasn’t crying!

Interviewer: Were you crying?

Kai: No, no, it wasn’t like I was overcome with emotion or anything but… I did feel a bit overwhelmed (laughs).

RUKI: When I looked over, I saw the manager was crying too (laughs). It almost made me uncomfortable (laughs).

All: (burst out laughing)

Interviewer: Also, I thought the sound quality was excellent. It was so clear and resonated beautifully.

RUKI: Oh, I’m glad to hear that. I’d heard Yoyogi isn’t known for great sound quality

Uruha: We tailored the band’s sound specifically to make it as clear as possible. None of us even had amp cabinets on stage this time. Instead of miking the amps, we ran everything through the line. But we worked hard to create a raw, live feel that didn’t feel like just a direct line—finding that perfect balance of clarity while still keeping the sound natural and immersive.

Interviewer: The opening was incredible and really took everyone’s breath away. Though there was a mishap with the mic not working at the very start…

RUKI: Oh yeah, that was surprising. I was like, "Hey, come on!"

REITA: The audience’s voices sounded like they were covering for us at that point.

Kai: Yeah, when I said "Hey!", I thought, "Wait, is that the audience yelling back at me?"

RUKI: I just kept fiddling with the mic switch, wondering when it was finally going to work.

Aoi: The sound wasn't coming out of the external speakers.

RUKI: Right, even though we’d coordinated with the monitor engineer, it didn’t seem to be reaching the main output. Fortunately, it got sorted out and we were able to laugh it off (laughs).

Interviewer: That was a nice touch. You recovered well during the MC. Also, regarding the theme of the concert, "Jet Black" and "Blackened Madness," I heard it started with the question "What is visual kei?" and it seemed to be a very positive interpretation. The blending of visual kei culture with modern heavy rock was elevated into high-level entertainment, and it felt like an homage to the roots of the genre.

RUKI: Well, it wasn’t intentionally an homage, but maybe the mindset was somewhat similar. I wanted it to be high quality and contemporary. Not many people do dark music with such a dark worldview, so in a way, I felt like it was something we should do.

Interviewer: You closed the main set with "UNDYING," and afterward, I heard the audience saying things like, "Wasn't that a lot to take in?" or, "No, wasn’t that more of a listen-and-absorb kind of song?" There was a lot of discussion happening.

All: A lot to take in (laughs).

RUKI: You're right, there really was an incredible amount of information (laughs).

Interviewer: That kind of buzz was also very "the GazettE" and it was great. Personally, it was a powerful and memorable live experience that left a strong impression.

All: Thank you.

Aoi: That makes it all worthwhile.

Interviewer: I, like all of you, lived through the ‘90s, and watching your performance brought back those feelings of wonder and shock I had the first time I saw a live band like this. Of course, younger fans might have their own thoughts and impressions.

RUKI: I see. It’s like saying, "This is what it’s about!" (laughs).

Interviewer: Let’s move on to the main topic, UNDYING. The title track, "UNDYING" (Track 1), ties back to what you said in a previous interview about it being a "culmination of DOGMA." The impact is incredible, but the sheer amount of detail makes it too much to take in with just one listen. How did you go about constructing it?

RUKI: Hmm, it pretty much followed the order it was completed in. I knew I wanted it to connect to "OMINOUS" (the final track from the 2015 album DOGMA), so I decided on the chords with that in mind.

Interviewer: The way the tonal structure changes throughout the track is striking. Did you set out to create such an intricate progression from the start?

RUKI: Not really. I began by crafting the intro, then added the blast beats, and just built it up from there. After that, I wanted to speed it up and transition into a chorus-like section, but it didn’t quite work as a proper chorus. So, when deciding what to do for the chorus, we ended up with a 3/4 time signature, and from there, I structured the song in a way that would build toward that rhythm.

Interviewer: I see. I thought the transitional phrases that bridge the sections were very effective. Did Aoi and Uruha contribute to those parts?

Aoi: No, the original composition already had that kind of vibe.

Interviewer: With such a progressive track, small phrases play a significant role, and I felt this showed an evolution in your songwriting. How did you conceptualize the overall feel of the song?

RUKI: While carrying forward the essence of DOGMA, I was conscious of maintaining the satanic tone in the phrasing.

Interviewer: You mentioned you wanted to connect it with "OMINOUS." Specifically, the phrase "Sleep... Count me down... Again" from "OMINOUS" can be heard faintly, and then "I won't arise from this" is added. Could you explain the intent behind this?

RUKI: "OMINOUS" ends with lingering echoes… It gives the feeling of going back to sleep, as if trying to escape a nightmare. But the song begins in a state where you realize you can’t actually escape from that nightmare.

Aoi: It’s like the sequel to a movie.

RUKI: Exactly. The facts remain unchanged, so it has that kind of imagery.

Interviewer: I see. The way phrases like “disgrace” and “transience” carry over between "OMINOUS" and "UNDYING" is a nice touch as well.

RUKI: The idea was to leave it open to interpretation—whether it’s a happy ending or a bad one. It’s somewhat like the ending of the movie Inception (2010). It’s about parallel worlds, and you’re not sure which one is reality.

Kai: The best part is that each listener can interpret it differently.

RUKI: Right. It can be seen as bad, or ultimately, it can be taken as something good. I wanted to create a song that allows for both interpretations.

Interviewer: I’ve noticed throughout this interview that you tend to leave things open to the listener rather than making definitive statements. You don’t impose a clear interpretation or answer.

RUKI: Yeah, I don’t really like to make definitive statements. It’s better if the listener spends time thinking about it.

Interviewer: Your lyrics include words that anyone can relate to, and for example, in "UNDYING," the first chorus features abstract lyrics, while the second chorus uses more everyday language to express strong emotions. That balance is remarkable, and it feels like an expression of visual kei aesthetics.

RUKI: I see (laughs).

Interviewer: But that doesn't mean it's aesthetically pleasing, and there's a certain irony in that. I feel there’s a drive to pursue realism there.

RUKI: Right. When I was around the age of 14, bands like LUNA SEA were singing about worlds I had never experienced... Do you get what I mean?

REITA: Night in the city…

RUKI: Yes, yes, it’s like the dark alley behind the buildings in the city. The lyrics of "ROSIER" (the title track of their 3rd single, released in 1994) are like that. It’s about feeling immersed in something that isn’t a real world, like entering into a different reality.

Interviewer: I see. Let’s move on to the performance side of things. First, the blast beats at the beginning of the track are intense. What kind of rhythm is that, exactly?

Kai: It’s actually quite standard. To put it simply, the hands are doing 32nd notes while the kick is playing 16th notes. It’s not a pattern I’m very familiar with, so it took some getting used to.

Interviewer: How was it to actually play it?

Kai: I feel like I could’ve used more practice (laughs)

Interviewer: No, no, it was amazing live! That moment left a really strong impression.

Kai: Really? Well, the song had been there since last year, so I made time to practice, watching videos and studying. Apparently, when it comes to blast beats, the key is feeling the tempo of the off-beats, and the snare hits on those. But, Japanese drummers tend to struggle with feeling the off-beat tempo.

Interviewer: That’s true—Japanese musicians often accent the first and third beats.

Kai: Exactly, we tend to play on the downbeats. But overseas artists are really skilled at capturing the off-beats, so I tried to incorporate that knowledge into my practice and approached it with intention.

Interviewer: Did the bass rhythm pattern naturally come to you?

REITA: In the end, the bass part ended up being pretty simple. With drums like that, the natural instinct is to play in 16th notes, but when you overdo it, you lose the low-end resonance. Especially since we’re in drop A tuning—the strings don’t even have a chance to vibrate properly before the next attack comes in. So, I ended up scaling it back to 8th notes.

Interviewer: I see. Then, the guitar brings in a SLAYER-like riff shortly after.

Everyone: SLAYER (laughs).

Interviewer: Yes (laughs). Even in the songs from DOGMA, there were similar riffs, but what did you focus on while playing "UNDYING"?

Aoi: It was all about how far we could take it into thrash metal territory.

Interviewer: Did you reference sounds from thrash metal bands for this?

Aoi: Not exactly. The riff was already there—it was something RUKI had pieced together. For guitarists, it’s tricky to play… but he said it worked, so we just had to go with it... (laughs).

All: (bursts into laughter)

Aoi: It’s seriously tough to pull off.

Interviewer: How about you, Uruha?

Uruha: When recording, I could pay attention to posture and technique, so the low-end felt stable. But during live performances, it’s so fast… Standing while playing makes it hard to stabilize the low-end, and I realized during the live shows, "Whoa, this is way harder than I thought!" (laughs). Honestly, I’d rather sit and play it! (laughs).

Interviewer: Sounds like it’s quite challenging… Was the drum recording done with live takes? Was there anything you changed in the way you recorded this time?

Kai: Yes, the drums were recorded live. But for this recording, we used a different method: single-pass recording. We recorded the snare, toms, and other drums separately in isolation, focusing on how far we could push the clarity without any sound overlap. It was our first time trying this approach.

Interviewer: So, you constructed the drum phrases by sampling the sounds you recorded. What adjustments did you make to use this method effectively?

Kai: That’s right. While layering the sounds, we worked to ensure the best possible quality. Still, there’s only so much you can do, like tweaking the low-end or slightly adjusting the volume.

Interviewer: I see. The reason I asked is that in modern metalcore bands, it’s becoming standard to completely forgo live drum sounds, constructing all the drum parts through programming instead.

RUKI: Huh? Really?

Interviewer: They purchase drum sample libraries from renowned engineers and use those to maintain world-class quality.

All: Eh?!!

RUKI: Alright! Good to know! (laughs).

REITA: Makes sense! (laughs).

Aoi: (to Kai) Good job, man! (laughs)

Kai: I guess that does make sense... (bitter smile).

Interviewer: Wait, wait (laughs). I’ll admit, when I first heard about it, I was pretty shocked. Of course, not every band works that way. Plenty of bands and drummers are dedicated to live recordings, and there are artists who are just as committed to programming. It’s a method used by top-tier international bands. Programming can still produce an authentic feel, cuts production costs, and saves time. Additionally, the modern metalcore sound has become increasingly hybrid—featuring tones that are impossible to achieve manually. Listeners have grown accustomed to this kind of sound, and programming demands a high level of skill, resulting in incredibly polished works. Still, when I learn that a band’s drummer didn’t actually play a single note on their recordings, it does dampen my enthusiasm a bit. I can’t help but hope that the drummers I admire won’t take that route.

Aoi: Sure, buying sample libraries is cheaper (laughs), but it kills the dream, doesn’t it?

RUKI: Then it’s not really your sound anymore, is it?

Aoi: I get where they’re coming from, though, if the goal is to prioritize the quality of the overall sound.

Uruha: It’s definitely efficient, I’ll give it that…

Interviewer: Exactly. If you view it just as a product, it makes sense. In fact, many drummers in the loud music scene are incredibly skilled, but sometimes when you see them live, you can feel disappointed if the recordings are of such high quality but don't match the live performance...

RUKI: Yeah, I get that. Also, the idea of buying someone else’s sounds to create your band’s work feels questionable to me…

REITA: It doesn't spark any chuunibyou feels. None at all!

Interviewer: That said, Kai, your drumming at Yoyogi was incredible—it was a showcase of amazing skill. Honestly, it was overwhelming. You’re clearly a top-tier drummer, so there’s no reason for concern in that area!

Kai: Really? Thanks! (laughs) (Kai shakes hands with REITA for some reason)

Interviewer: You two are so close (laughs). By the way, Kai, I’ve heard you grew up listening to jazz...?

Kai: My parents were into it, so it was always playing at home. But I wasn’t actually playing jazz drums myself.

REITA: Don't be embarrassed (laughs)!

Aoi: Born in New Jersey and raised on jazz (laughs).

Interviewer: (laughs) After watching the live performance, I realized once again how expressive you are. The same goes for REITA’s bass. You both use your whole bodies to express yourselves. You can really feel the strength of the rhythm section.

Kai & REITA: Thank you.

Uruha: But no handshake this time, huh? (laughs).

Aoi: You guys are way too full of yourselves (laughs).

Interviewer: Let’s get back on track. RUKI, in recent works, you’ve been incorporating death growls, and in "UNDYING," the scream at the end—"my hate"—felt especially intense and emotionally charged, as if everything was concentrated in that moment.

RUKI: Yeah, I wanted it to be like that. I wanted it to be a hook.

Interviewer: How about the guitar solo? What were you particular about when it came to that?

Uruha: It’s more of an obbligato than a solo. I wanted to express a sense of floating, so I used tapping. Originally, I wanted it to be something faint in the background...

RUKI: But it ended up front and center, didn’t it? (laughs)

Interviewer: And Aoi, aside from the high-speed riffs at the beginning, what did you focus on in your playing?

Aoi: I leaned toward emphasizing chord textures rather than embellishing too much. I aimed for a "seasoned" voicing that adds depth.

Interviewer: The piano melody is also impressive. Is it you, RUKI, who played it?

RUKI: No, I programmed it and passed it to the engineer for the final adjustments.

Interviewer: The final version of the track arrived just two days before this interview. You were working right up to the wire, weren’t you?

RUKI: Yeah, we barely made it in time.

REITA: The music video isn’t done yet, though.

RUKI: It’s being edited now. It’s somewhat connected to DOGMA.

REITA: The sheer number of scene transitions is choking us, though (laughs).

Aoi: It really is tough.

Interviewer: Trying to match the visuals to the song’s dynamic transitions sounds like a huge task.

Aoi: That’s why REITA is pulling an all-nighter for the editing today.

Interviewer: I heard you’re the one overseeing the video production, REITA.

REITA: Oh, no, no (laughs). I’m just guiding them on how to do it and some of the basics. It’s more like teaching, in a way, like a craft. For example, the video we showed at Yoyogi was made by each of us. I taught them how to create and do it, kind of like a school. They’ve all graduated now, though (laughs).

Everyone: (bursts out laughing).

Interviewer: Did you already have some skills in video production?

REITA: No, I’m completely new to it, but I thought I could do something, so I tried it. I ended up getting hooked and having fun with it. It's just a hobby for me. I even bought a camera.

Interviewer: I see. UNDYING is your heaviest work to date. I’d love for metal fans to give it a listen.

REITA: I wonder what metalheads think of it?

Interviewer: In modern loud music, there’s often a sense of shared structure—certain chord progressions, predictable breakdowns, and standard compositions that everyone enjoys as part of the genre’s charm. But with your music, you’ve managed to transcend those conventions in an impressive way. Your sound is heavy and modern, making it accessible to fans of loud music, but it also has layers of depth that reveal new discoveries with every listen. The intricate ideas and unique touches stand out, and there’s an edge—poison, even—that sets it apart. Plus, there’s no superficiality to it.

RUKI: That’s great to hear (laughs).

Interviewer: DOGMA and UGLY (your single released in 2015) are intricate in their own ways, but UNDYING stands out for its especially complex structure. I think metal fans might find it fascinating as an entry point to your music. Now, let’s talk about Track 2, MALUM. Is the pronunciation “Malum”?

RUKI: Since it’s Latin, it’s pronounced “Maah-lum.”

Interviewer: It means “disease” or “disorder,” doesn’t it? The opening phrase creates a vast spatial feel as it jumps over an octave. What were your considerations for that part? The original composition was written by REITA, right?

REITA: Yes. It wasn’t originally like this, but Uruha said he didn’t want to play this one particular phrase... (laughs)

Everyone: (laughs)

REITA: Originally, it was a bit more silly (laughs). It’s hard to explain with words...

Uruha: He wanted more of a "devilish" feel, but it wasn’t coming through. It sounded a bit too "rock," so I suggested it should lean more towards sounding demonic.

REITA: That’s when I said, “Show me the devil within your phrase!” (laughs).

RUKI: What a ridiculous conversation (laughs).

Uruha: Well, it was just a suggestion to make the phrase darker.

Interviewer: The melody sounds like it transcends the stylistic framework of DOGMA and represents your evolution as a band. In the song, the bass solo stands out as a great hook. Did you alter the tone specifically for that part?

REITA: Yeah, I’ve never used that level of distortion for a tone before, so I focused on creating a strong impact there.

Aoi: Didn’t you spend half a day just on that sound?

REITA: Pretty much. I kept working at it, but I couldn’t quite reach the sound I envisioned.

Kai: You spent all that time just on that one part?

REITA: Yep. I used about five different effects pedals for it. For this song, I played with a light touch, just barely letting the pick’s tip graze the strings. When I played the entire track like that, the bass created a stable, undulating low-end that I think worked well. It felt like a success in the studio. Live, though, it’s a different story. You definitely wouldn’t want to see me playing like that, carefully and softly, on stage (laughs).

Interviewer: Right (laughs). Let’s move on to VACANT (Track 3), which is included only on the standard edition. The phrase "忘れないで" (Don’t forget), which also appears in the lyrics of OMINOUS, is present here as well. Is it meant to symbolize a connection within the overarching theme?

RUKI: That’s actually just a coincidence. But the character setting for the lyrics is like that—words like "eternity" and "clouds." I'm sure everyone's had enough of that by now (laughs).

Interviewer: Not at all (laughs). Regarding the guitar, was it a collaboration between Uruha and Aoi?

Aoi: That part was written with arpeggios.

Uruha: I’m playing more of a backing role there.

RUKI: It’s similar to the image of "Kyomuno Owari Hakozumeno Mokushi" (from the 2008 single Guren -Auditory Impression-). The combination of arpeggios and a solo.

Interviewer: Can you elaborate on the theme of VACANT?

RUKI: Originally, I wanted to make it a mellow song, but the concept became centered around the fragility of a band. We used to have a senior band in our agency called Kagrra. They themed their music around “Japanese tradition” and “cherry blossoms.” When they disbanded, their farewell live left such a transient, fleeting impression on me. One day, on my way to the studio, I saw the sunset and was reminded of their final performance. I used that imagery and shaped the song around it. It’s essentially about how ephemeral bands are. It feels like the end of a life. But normally, we don’t think about it too deeply, right? We only realize it when we see a post titled “An Important Announcement.” Those hit hard.

Interviewer: You mentioned that the theme of UNDYING, which signifies “immortality,” is not about human life and death. But on a related note, I wanted to ask—David Bowie passed away this January. Bowie is often seen as a foundational figure for the visual kei genre. Did you listen to his music?

REITA: Not really

Aoi: I knew of him, of course.

RUKI: Hmm, I admired his fashion. I only started listening to him properly more recently, though. I really like his song Rock 'N' Roll Suicide. I first heard it on LUNA SEA’s J’s radio show. I also like the music video. That kind of eccentricity, especially at his age—it’s incredible.

Interviewer: The music video is amazing, isn't it? He knew he was going to die when he was making "★," which was essentially his final album and it was released just before he passed away. To leave such a daring piece behind is a testament to David Bowie’s artistry—it feels like a life story, doesn’t it? Personally, I felt a profound sense of loss. With that in mind, I wanted to ask you: if you knew you were ill or nearing death, what kind of work would you want to create?

Aoi: Wow, that’s a heavy question (laughs).

REITA: That’s a good question (laughs).

Uruha: Honestly, I wouldn’t want to change my style just because of that. I don't think it will change. Not in terms of quality, since it’s not like we’ve been cutting corners until now.

RUKI: I honestly can’t imagine it. But I'd say I’d create something that feels relevant in the moment. I think I’d just focus on doing what I want to do. Although, if I knew I was dying, people might throw money at it. Like, “Let’s make this his legacy!” (laughs).

All: (laughs)

Interviewer: People who listened to the new wave music born from the influence of David Bowie became the pioneers of visual kei bands, and within that lineage lies the GazettE. So, if you trace it back, while you may not be directly influenced, he might be like a great-grandfather figure to you (laughs).

All: I see (laughs).

RUKI: But to be honest, I don’t really listen to new wave. I’d say my bigger influences are from the late ‘80s, especially bands like Guns N' Roses.

Interviewer: Speaking of which, at the first encore at Yoyogi, you played "Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door" by Guns N' Roses (originally by Bob Dylan), and I think before the show, you played some SKID ROW too. Where did the idea for that come from?

RUKI: It’s because the end of NIL (the 2006 album) has this feel of going to heaven, so I thought, "Well, Guns is perfect" (laughs), and that’s how it became a thing. As for SKID ROW, that’s purely personal taste.

Interviewer: I was also pumped up by the metal tracks in the SE, like MESHUGGAH and LAMB OF GOD.

RUKI: Everyone mentions MESHUGGAH (laughs). (To the band members) If you're doing blast beats, you should listen to MESHUGGAH (laughs).

Interviewer: With the release of UNDYING during the overseas tour, fans will have the time to really immerse themselves in the work and digest it. Also, the announcement of the standing tour is interesting, especially with the switch from the Yoyogi National Gymnasium’s large capacity to smaller live houses.

Kai: We originally wanted to do it in a live house first, and then do a hall tour afterward to make it easier to imagine. But due to certain circumstances, it became difficult.

RUKI: Still, we definitely wanted to perform in live houses.

REITA: In the end, I think it was better this way. Honestly, I feel like I want to die in a live house (laughs).

RUKI, Uruha, Aoi, Kai: Die (laughs)?

Interviewer: (laughs) DOGMA is such a heavy album, and the energy during the live performances was incredible. What kind of reaction do you think you’ll get in the live houses?

Kai: Hmm, I don’t think it’ll be all that different.

Interviewer: So, will there be no moshing or diving?

RUKI: Not really. There are barriers, after all.

Kai: There are fans who want that, and fans who don’t.

RUKI: Well, we’d appreciate it if people could sense the atmosphere and read the room.

Interviewer: There’s been a recent trend in visual kei to impose strict rules, like banning platform shoes or specifying how to tie your hair, and spreading those rules. While it can be effective, I think attending a live show is also about affirming your freedom. If everything is tightly regulated, it might end up excluding new fans...

RUKI: For people who are attending for the first time, it might actually give them a reason not to go, so I feel like it’s something you shouldn’t say.

Interviewer: Personally, I think it would be great if the live shows could be more accessible to people outside of visual kei culture.

RUKI: That’s true. When we play at festivals, I really feel that sense of freedom. Even our fans seem freer in that environment. But it's been a while since we've performed at a regular live house.

Interviewer: For instance, if someone seeing the GazettE for the first time gets overly excited and diving or moshing happens, do you think it would be frowned upon?

RUKI: Hmm, well… that’s a really difficult question. But honestly, if someone dislikes diving, they probably wouldn’t come to a live house in the first place.

Aoi: I mean, there are dives where people just kind of roll over others as they go along—that happens fairly often.

RUKI: The way our crowd moshes might be a bit unique. Since it’s not all guys, it has a kind of cute and fun vibe to it.

Interviewer: But the synchronized headbanging scene at Yoyogi was amazing. It was really manly.

RUKI: That’s actually something I’m really grateful for. One thing I will say is, if you don’t like roughing around, you probably shouldn’t stand in the front at a live house. That’s basic etiquette. You could get hurt.

Interviewer: That’s true. If you’re wearing heels, you’d naturally want to stay toward the back. But I guess not knowing these basic things is just part of being young.

RUKI: That's true.

Interviewer: Now, the overseas tour is about to begin. (Interview date: March 7) It’s your first time performing in the U.S., and since American values are so different—for example, at festivals, people heckle pretty freely—it might be a very different atmosphere, even at a solo show. Do you feel excited or nervous about that?

RUKI: I’m not nervous. But since it’s our first time, I really don’t know what to expect.

REITA: Well, I think it’s better to have honest reactions than to have all the crap written about you online later.

Interviewer: After such an incredible show at Yoyogi, I imagine you’ve gained even more confidence. I’m looking forward to seeing how you grow after a successful overseas tour. Thank you so much for your time!

All: Thank you!

[watchdogfanclub]

This was written in response to someone thinking WOY never took off because streaming was getting popular in the 2010s:

Nah, as someone who watched from when the SDCC trailer came out that wasn’t it. For most of it’s airing it had a small fandom that was roughly as active as the current fandom. The main reason it didn’t get popular is because Disney treated it like trash.

(Sidenote: Streaming services didn’t become major players in the cartoon game until the late 2010s. Voltron, one of the early hits, didn’t “air” until 2016. Wander’s last episode came out during the same month and it had been cancelled a bit after season 2 started airing. Cancelled because Disney had an unofficial 2 season limit to all but it’s biggest hits.)

Before I start talking about that I’ll link ratings reports. I was planning to show the airing schedule too (focused on reruns) but I can’t remember who posted it.

First off: The episode aired at 5 PM on the west coast (when kids are often eating dinner) and it was worse for the rest of the US because it aired simultaneously. So that meant it aired at 6 PM mountain time, 7 PM central, and 8 PM eastern time. How many kids are watching then?

Frankly, after acting as a third parent to my baby brother for a few years, I would not have let him watch Wander Over Yonder after dinner because it’s too high energy for winding down. That’s when kids watch calming shows like Sesame Street and Arthur.

Another thing: If you didn’t have cable the only way to watch it legally was on iTunes. They took awhile to add it too. And then they cut the seasons in half without prior notice to double bill people with a season pass.

Then there was their airing schedule. It would go on long hiatuses for no good reason before returning with minimal if any promotion. Which meant that it was hard to tell when it aired unless you constantly checked the tv guides. (To be fair: Every Disney series got this but…)

The American Disney Channel dragged their feet so long that some episodes first premiered in France (The Hero), Russia, and the UK if I recall correctly. Heck, a sizeable amount of episodes that first aired in the US leaked on On Demand first.

And then it got booted to Disney XD halfway through season 1. Which is a premium channel where shows go to die. So that didn’t help…

Anyways, about that promotion: Maybe it’s just me, but if I got an animation legend who created two pop culture phenomenons to make a show for me I’d shout his name to the high heavens. But Disney was so quiet about it that most of the fanbase only heard of it while checking out his other works. How would the target audience stumble upon it when it aired at dinner time or later with few reruns and scant advertising?

(Somehow Netflix was worse about it and I didn’t even know Kid Cosmic existed until I got back into WOY a year after it ended. Granted, Netflix and other streaming services turned producers make Disney look good. Many cartoons only get one season and the crew laid off before it’s even posted. He got 3. But about the same advertising as others around the same time such as, say, Dogs in Space. Never heard of it? Yeah. Thanks Netflix.)

Finally, a few complaints about how the show was presented:

The Picnic wasn’t a great choice for a promo episode and they should have aired The Greatest first (as intended by the crew) because the latter both introduced the characters and better represented the tone of the show. A lot of people were initially turned off by the Looney Tunes type antics and thought Wander was annoying.

Some of them continued to give the show a chance. But who knows how many didn’t? And in hindsight, as much as I love the theme song, I can see why it made a lot of people change the channel before it even ended. (Especially parents trying to find a show that won’t mess up their bedtime routine!) The original theme song, the one in The Little Guy’s credits, would have worked much better.

[lemoncrushh]

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?

Summary: Harry invites Rebecca to his Christmas party, but she overthinks too much, misinterpreting his intentions and nearly missing out on her chance to be with him on New Year's Eve.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 6528

A/N: The last of my collection! Originally written and posted in 2016. Harry x OC, written in first person. Inspired by one of my all-time favorite Ella Fitzgerald songs.

I was exhausted. I'd spent the day Christmas shopping, the first half shared with my mother up until we stopped for lunch. Then after we parted ways, I continued my hunt for the perfect gifts, checking off my list one by one. By six o'clock, I'd called it a day, pushing my door open with my shoulder as I struggled with enough bags to completely cover the foyer. I set them down with a sigh, shutting the door behind me and tiptoeing around the bags to get to my kitchen where I dropped my purse and keys. I took a gander back at the mess in the hallway, my eyelids heavy with fatigue. Making my way over, I grabbed only one of the bags, leaving the rest to be put away later.

Once in my room, I laid the bag on the bed, removing the dress I'd purchased for myself. It was a pretty, deep crimson shade with a simple A-line hem, and it cost almost as much as all the gifts I'd bought put together, but it was totally worth it.

Harry was having a Christmas party.

Harry Styles and I had gone out a handful times. I wasn't really sure if you could say we were dating. How many dates constitutes dating? One? Five? Seventeen? I never really knew the answer to that. He'd taken me to dinner a few times and to a party another, and we had a good time, at least I thought so. I just felt like it was too soon to tell how he felt about me. But I liked him. I liked him a lot.

This wasn't really a date though. This was a party he was throwing for all his friends and other people he knew. I would just be one of many to attend. Nevertheless, I was excited to be going, and this little red number I hoped would make an impression.

I hung up the dress on the hook that hung on the closet door, pressing my hand along the soft, silky fabric. I smiled to myself as I thought of Harry, the way his green eyes twinkled when he smiled and the way his soft lips felt against mine when he'd kissed me goodnight. I sincerely hoped he would kiss me again. Maybe even under the mistletoe? I chuckled to myself as I made my way back out into the hall, grabbing the rest of my bags and bringing them into the bedroom. Too tired to sort through them at the moment, I left them lined up at the foot of the bed and returned to the kitchen to get a bottle of water. That's when I heard my cell phone going off in my purse. I smiled when I saw Harry's name on the screen.

"Hi, Harry," I greeted.

"Hi, Rebecca," he said in a low tone. "How are you?"

"Tired from shopping all day, but otherwise I'm great."

"Good," Harry commented with a smile in his voice. "Just wanted to confirm that you're coming to my party tomorrow."

"Yes," I replied. "I sent the RSVP. Didn't you get it?"

"I did. I just wanted to double check personally."

"Oh," I grinned. "I feel special."

Harry chuckled. "You should. I'm really looking forward to seeing you."

I felt my cheeks stretch as my smiled widened. "Me too. Can't wait."

"See you tomorrow, love," he said softly before we disconnected.

I leaned against the kitchen counter with a sigh. He was looking forward to seeing me. Me? Or did he tell everyone that? Yes, that was probably it. He was always so cordial and charming. Still, as I went to bed that night, I couldn't help but be a tiny bit excited that he was glad I was coming.

I'd been there a good thirty minutes, and I hadn't seen him yet. Sure, the place was crowded to say the least, and he was only one face in a sea of many, but I'd started to get the feeling that my efforts in making sure my dress and makeup were perfect, and the fact that I'd taken a taxi instead of driving my own car so I wouldn't have to park so far and walk in heels, were all in vain.

After some mingling with strangers, and a few people I did know, I decided to make my way around the left side of the room to the bar. Before I could reach it, however, I felt an arm slip around my waist.

"There you are," he said.

I turned and smiled. "Here I am."

"Was beginning to think you weren't coming after all." Despite the sly smirk at the corner of his mouth, I reckoned Harry actually meant those words.

"I've been here for a while now, Harry," I teased, "you must've not been looking hard enough."

His smile grew as the tip of his tongue darted out to tap his lip. "I suppose not."

I returned his smile and gazed around the room. "Great party," I commented.

"It is now," he raised a brow and reached for my hand. "Come, I'll get you a drink."

I followed him to the bar which was set in the corner closer to the stage where a band played Christmas songs. I watched Harry as he ordered cocktails for us and then turned to look at the musicians who were currently playing a jazzy rendition of "Winter Wonderland". I twisted my hips slightly to the rhythm until I felt Harry's hand on my back again.

"Here, love," he whispered in my ear.

"Thanks," I said, reaching for the glass. As I took a sip, we made eye contact, his brows furrowing a bit, causing a crease above his nose before relaxing into a smile. Licking my lips, I smiled back.

He looked really handsome in a lustrous black suit, the first few buttons on his white shirt undone to reveal his chest, giving a peak of his tattoos and the ever-present cross pendant that hung from his neck. But more than anything, I liked the way he was looking at me. A mix of desire like he was drinking me in, and friendly admiration. A warm feeling oozed through me down to my toes, and it wasn't just due to the alcohol.

"Are you ready for Christmas?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he nodded emphatically. "Finished all my shopping early so all I had to worry about was tonight. Then on Monday I'm flying home to be with my family."

"Oh, I bet you're excited about that," I remarked cheerfully, though I felt my heart plummet to my to stomach. Of course he was going to be with his family. Still, I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. I'd sort of hoped I'd get to see him sometime during the holiday.

"Won't be gone long though," said Harry, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh?" I raised my brows.

"Should be back a couple days after Christmas."

I smiled and nodded. So there was still hope...

The band changed it up then, starting in on a slow classic rock tune. I swayed my hips again, partly from nerves and partly because I liked the song. Harry noticed when I'd sipped the last of my cocktail through the straw, meeting only ice. He took the glass from me and set it down on the bar next to his.

"Do you wanna dance?" he asked me.

I beamed at him, nodding as I took his awaiting hand and followed him to the small area in front of the stage where other couples were dancing.

"So what are you doing for Christmas, Rebecca?" Harry's eyes focused on my face as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I felt butterflies in my stomach as we began to dance, one hand in his, the other near his shoulder, just above his chest.

"Well, I'll be with my mother on Christmas morning," I began, "and then I'm-"

"I'm sorry," Harry shook his head. "I just have to say this. I should have said it when I first saw you. But you look so beautiful."

I blinked. "Thank you."

"You look like...a Christmas angel," he commented low, a slight grin on his lips.

I felt a tiny giggle escape my throat and I knew I had to be blushing. "That's really sweet, thank you."

"You're welcome." Harry and I stared at each other for a minute until his chest rose and fell with a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I interrupted you. You were saying..."

My eyelids fluttered as I tried to remember what we were talking about. "Oh...um...Christmas morning with my mom, then we're going to my Aunt and Uncle's for dinner that evening. Lots of cousins and relatives, that sort of thing."

"Sounds lovely," he muttered.

I merely shrugged until Harry leaned closer. Releasing my hand, he brought his up to brush my hair off my shoulder. I quivered from the tiny gesture and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. But he surprised me by pressing his cheek to mine and inhaling.

"Mmm, you smell good too," he whispered.

In my head I was laughing. Why was he smelling my hair? But I didn't make a sound. Every nerve ending in my body felt like a frayed wire about to spark at any given moment. I stood frozen except for the almost nonexistent dancing we were engaged in. I felt Harry's arm pull me closer until my body was flush against his. His hand that had pushed my hair away was now on my neck while his cheek slid against mine as he shifted to look at me. His green eyes seemed to sparkle, reflecting the Christmas lights that decorated the room.

This time I knew he was going to kiss me. When he confirmed it by tilting his head, I instinctively slipped my arms around his neck. His lips were soft, his kiss equally tender. It was over much too quickly, but I didn't complain. I heard the band finish the classic rock tune, or perhaps it was a different one. I'd been too wrapped up in Harry to notice.

"Really glad you came," he finally said.

"Yeah?" I grinned.

Harry nodded, his eyelids heavy. I cleared my throat as the band began to play their next song. I recognized it right away, one of my favorites.

When the bells all ring and the horns all blow and the couples we know are fondly kissing Will I be with you or will I be among the missing?

I felt Harry's hands slide down my back, and with a sigh, I bit my lip and stared at his handsome face as the singer continued, seemingly reading my mind.

Maybe it's much too early in the game Oh, but I thought I'd ask you just the same What are you doing New Year's New Year's Eve?

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night Welcoming in the New Year New Year's Eve

"Harry," I said softly, prying my eyes from his to focus on his chest.

"Rebecca," he mimicked.

I gave a nervous chuckle, though I tried to sound nonchalant. "What are you doing New Year's Eve?"

"Well..." he began, "I'm not exactly sure yet."

I looked back up at him. "No?"

Maybe I'm crazy to suppose I'd ever be the one you chose Out of a thousand invitations You received

Harry twisted his mouth to the side like he was pondering something. I waited with bated breath, but his next words not only cut me to the quick, but made me realize he hadn't been paying attention to the lyrics like I had been.

"I have a few things up in the air. A few different parties I've been invited to."

"Oh," I said, my face falling.

"And Jeff and Glenne might be having something too," he added.

"Oh."

Harry shrugged, oblivious to my disappointment. "Haven't decided yet."

"I see," I swallowed hard and averted my gaze. Sliding my hands down his shoulders, I muttered, "Will you excuse me?"

"You okay?" Harry inquired.

"Yes," I replied, finally looking at him. "Just need to go to the ladies' room."

"Oh, sure."

I barely waited for him to release me before I bolted for the bathroom. I'd just reached the door when I heard the singer sing the final refrain.

Ah, but in case I stand one little chance Here comes the jackpot question in advance What are you doing New Year's New Year's Eve?

Rebecca, are you ok?

Are you ill? Did you leave early?

What happened??

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but if I did something, please let me know.

I'd stared at Harry's texts all night until I finally fell asleep. The final one had come through that morning, apparently before I'd even awakened. I wondered if Harry had stayed up all night.

With a sigh, I reluctantly replied.

You didn't do anything. I'm ok.

After crying for a few minutes in the ladies' room, I'd felt foolish. Other than perhaps the kiss, which was probably just a result of being caught up in the moment, I had no reason to suspect he would want to be with me for New Year's Eve. I was being ridiculous to assume and to cry over it. Wiping my tears, I snuck out of the bathroom to find him engaged in a conversation with a small group of people. I made my way around the bar to the exit and slipped out without him noticing.

I'd been home barely ten minutes when he texted me. I felt bad for not replying right away, but I was ashamed and humiliated, no fault of his. I had a bad habit of expecting people to feel the way I felt, and as a result I continuously got my heart broken.

This time, Harry surprised me by texting me back right away.

I thought we were having a good time. You left without saying goodbye.

I suddenly imagined Harry standing in the middle of the massive room, looking around for me, wondering what had happened. I felt a pang in my chest.

I'm really sorry. I just wasn't feeling well.

I'm sorry too, Rebecca. Are you ok now?

Yes.

I didn't know what else to say.

Good.

I guess he didn't either.

Feeling guilty, I tried to reassure him (or perhaps myself) with small talk (or, erm, text as the case was).

So you're leaving tomorrow?

Yes. Early. I haven't been to bed yet, was about to. So I can sleep all day.

Good plan.

He was quiet for a moment and I wondered if that was the end of the conversation. The pang in my chest had turned into a sour, nauseous feeling in my stomach. Now I really was ill.

Harry? I nervously texted.

I waited a few moments longer and didn't see the three dots come up. With a sigh, I dropped my phone on the bed beside me, plopping back onto my pillow. I stared at the ceiling, wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. I liked Harry, a lot. And he seemed to like me too. But I'd made a mess of things. Now it felt like he was backing off.

As I wiped a tear, I suddenly heard my phone ping.

Sorry love, I was changing and getting into bed.

Oh God.

No worries. I blatantly lied. I should let you sleep.

Ok. If I don't get to talk to you, have a Merry Christmas.

I swallowed hard. Same to you.

Thanks x.

Well, I guess that was that. I was an idiot.

Christmas was lovely, I had to admit. I'd thought I'd have to fake my way through the day, since I had yet to hear from Harry. I hadn't wanted it to bother me like it had. But my mother as usual made the day special, and being with the rest of my relatives proved to be just the medicine I needed for a heavy heart.

It wasn't until I'd excused myself to use my Aunt Margie's enormous upstairs bathroom so I could have a few minutes of privacy (and to check my phone) that I'd noticed Harry had texted me earlier.

Merry Christmas Rebecca x

I looked at the time he'd sent it which was over three hours ago. Damn. It was late in England now, nearly midnight. But knowing Harry, he was still awake. If not, he would just get my message the next morning.

Merry Christmas Harry. I hope you had a great day.

I was just leaving the bathroom when my ringtone startled me.

"Hello?" I answered when I saw it was Harry.

"There's my Christmas angel," he said in a low voice. "I thought maybe you'd forgotten about me."

"Um," I giggled, taken aback. I wasn't expecting that greeting. "No, I haven't."

"Good. 'Cause I haven't forgotten you either. Did you have a good time with your family?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Still going on actually. I'm at my Aunt and Uncle's. They'll probably be breaking out the board games soon."

"Did that!" chuckled Harry. "I won."

"You won what?"

"I don't remember. I just know I won."

I laughed at his cheery disposition, wondering if perhaps he'd had a few too many egg noggs.

"I miss you, Rebecca," he confessed. "Been thinking about you since I left."

Yep, he was definitely drunk.

"Um...you have?"

"Yep. Keep thinking of you in that red dress. Dancing with you. Kissing you. Really wish you hadn't left me that night."

Any other time those words would have made me melt like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. But the way he slurred his words and the fact that he was across the ocean made his confession seem a little stale. I did however, notice how he'd said "me". Left "me" that night. I wasn't sure if it was a slip of the lip, but I caught it nonetheless.

"Harry, I'm-"

"I have something to ask you, Rebecca," he interrupted.

"Okay?" I sounded, my voice cracking just a bit.

"Can I see you when I get back?"

"Um, sure, I-"

"I have something I wanna give you."

"Okay," I barely managed to breathe.

"Right. Um," he chuckled. "I'm sorry, love, I've had a few glasses of wine."

"I kinda figured as much," I remarked, though in a teasing tone.

"You go have fun with your family. I'll call you, yeah?"

"Sure. Goodnight, Harry," I said.

"Goodnight, beautiful."

Harry called me two days later. He'd just returned from his holiday and wanted to see me. Unfortunately, this time I truly was ill. Probably from being around all of my relatives on Christmas, I'd somehow caught a bad cold. Harry didn't hide his disappointment.

"Damn, I really wanted to give you your gift today," he pouted.

"Harry, you didn't have to get me anything," I said.

"It's not much," he conveyed, "I just wanted you to have it."

"Maybe I'll be better in a couple days," I sniffled into the phone.

"I'm gonna be really busy then, unfortunately," he remarked.

"Oh," I groaned. "I'm sorry."

"'s okay. I'll get it to you sometime. You just get well."

If I hadn't been coughing every ten minutes and my nose hadn't been pouring, I might've felt more disappointment as well. He'd gotten me something. A gift.

I told myself I wasn't going to think too much of it. In typical Harry Styles fashion, he could have just been nice. And I noticed he wasn't flirting with me like he'd been on the phone Christmas day when he'd been drinking, calling me his Christmas angel and all that. And he certainly hadn't mentioned anything about New Year's Eve. He'd said he was going to be busy in a couple of days anyway. No. It was probably best that I was sick.

The next day after I'd managed to get out of bed and was in the kitchen in my robe making a cup of tea, my doorbell rang. Jumping, I clung my robe to my chest tightly and tiptoed to the door. My doorbell never rang. Peeking through the peephole, I saw no one. Still curious, I unlocked the door and opened it, only to see a small package on the floor. I picked it up and noticed it had my name on it, but no address, proving it hadn't been mailed but hand delivered. After looking both ways down the hall and confirming no one was there, I brought the package inside and set it on the kitchen counter.

Opening the box with my kitchen shears, careful not to cut too deep since I had no idea what was inside, I pulled out another smaller box which was wrapped in colorful Christmas tissue paper. I took a gander inside the larger box to see if there was any card or note but saw none. With great precision, I unwrapped the smaller box. As I moved it my hands, it felt light and heavy at the same time and when I finally set it back down on the counter, it made a sound.

A music box.

Ripping away the rest of the paper, I revealed a lovely rectangular wooden box with a simple cut-out of a moon and a music note on the top. I smiled as I ran my fingers over it before gently lifting the lid.

The tune, though familiar, didn't register with me at first. When it finally did, the music was over and my breath hitched in my throat. Lifting the box, I twisted the knob at the bottom to get the music to play again. I couldn't have stopped the tears if I'd tried.

The lovely music was in the tune of "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?"

Harry'd said he had something he wanted to ask me. This was it.

As I wiped my eyes, I heard my phone chime with a text.

Did you get my gift?

I laughed out loud, though I wasn't sure why.

Yes.

And?

It's lovely. Thank you.

Rebecca!

Harry.

Do I have to ask you properly? I don't wanna do it in a text.

No, I liked the way you asked me. I just can't really give you an answer right now. I'm still sick.

Then we'll have to get you well.

Ok

I have to go now. But was that a yes?

Yes.

For the second time that day, my doorbell rang. This time it was nearly 7PM and I was watching TV with my feet propped up on the recliner. And this time, when I looked through the peephole, someone was there.

"Harry," I said when I opened the door, covering my mouth with my handful of tissues. "What are you doing here? I'm sick."

"I know, I brought soup." Harry held up the covered pot that I just noticed in his hands.

"You didn't," I sighed.

"I did," he nodded before walked past me purposefully into my kitchen.

I watched as he set the pot on the stove and turned on the burner. Then he turned to me.

"Do you have a ladle?" he inquired.

I just stared at him.

"Big spoon? Ladle?" he gestured.

"Oh," I shook my head and pointed to the utensil carousel. "Yeah, right there."

Harry nodded and grabbed the ladle, lifting the lid off the pot with his other hand. He stirred the contents, his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth.

"Have a seat," he ordered, pointing toward the small kitchen table.

I obliged, taking the seat nearest me so I could still look at him. He found the utensil drawer quickly, pulling out two spoons.

"Bowls?" he asked me.

I pointed to the cabinets next to his head where he retrieved two bowls and set them on the counter. Then he scooped up the soup with the ladle and filled one bowl at a time, setting one in front of me, and the other across from me.

"You're eating with me?" I looked up at him.

"Of course. What would you like to drink?"

"Water's fine," I said softly, pointing at the refrigerator. "There's bottles in the door."

Harry grabbed two bottles and sat down across from me at the table. I continued to stare at him as he blew on his hot soup.

"What?" he finally asked.

"I just...I don't know what to say."

"Don't have to say anything," he smirked. "Just eat. Get better so we can go out for New Year's."

I smiled at him, lifting my spoon.

"Harry, I-"

"Shh. Eat."

We ate in silence for a good ten minutes. I watched as his tongue darted out of his mouth with each bite, as if to test the temperature or taste before allowing his spoon to enter. I found it cute and endearing, and caught myself beaming at him a time or two.

"So I have a question now," I said, finally breaking the silence and setting my spoon in my bowl.

Harry looked up at me, licking his bottom lip. "Alright."

"Where exactly are we going? For New Year's I mean."

Harry's lips grew into a smile, his dimples dipping in his cheeks. "Ah. Well, that's actually another reason I came by." I watched as he pulled something out of his back pocket. Three somethings actually, and he laid them on the table in front of me.

"Those are what I've been invited to. Take your pick."

"Me?" I widened my eyes.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Whichever sounds like something you'd like to do. I want you to choose."

I continued to glare at him before inspecting the invitations. Two were very swanky Hollywood parties, held at some of the most glitzy and glamorous hotels, the third at the home of his friends Jeff and Glenne, whom he'd mentioned before. I swallowed hard.

"Or..." Harry added, "we could just stay here."

"Here?" I echoed.

Harry shrugged. "We don't have to go to some fancy party, Rebecca." He placed his forearms on the table and leaned forward. "I just wanna be with you."

I sniffled, grabbing the tissues from my pocket to wipe my nose. I felt horrible, and not just from my cold.

"I'm an idiot," I declared, looking down at my lap.

"What do you mean?" asked Harry.

"I...I wasn't ill that night, Harry. I left early because...I thought you weren't interested."

"Why on earth would you think that?"

Finally lifting my head, I saw Harry's expression of confusion on his face. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"That song...started playing when we were dancing. I thought it was a sign or something. So I asked you what you were doing for New Year's Eve. And you said you didn't know."

Harry raised his brows. "I know."

"I thought...I thought that meant you...oh, I don't know what I thought it meant." I shook my head, feeling more and more like a fool.

"Rebecca," Harry grinned. "What more can I do to prove I like you?"

"Huh?" Great, now I even sounded like an idiot.

"I asked the band to play that song. I requested it specifically to be played while we were dancing."

"You...you did?"

"I was planning to ask you, but you beat me to it. It caught me off guard, so I had to play like I didn't notice the song. When you left for the bathroom, I got a plan B."

"Plan B?"

"I uh...asked the band to play "The Lady in Red" when you returned. I was gonna ask you then. But you never came back. I looked all over for you."

I hung my head in shame. "I'm so sorry," I muttered.

"Please. Don't apologize, love. I should have just asked you when you mentioned it. But...to be honest, I kind of got the feeling you were backing off."

"When?" I asked.

"Well," Harry hesitated, "the next day for one. When I texted you. I felt like something was wrong, not just that you were sick. But I was so bloody tired, I needed to get to sleep. Otherwise I would have just called and we could have talked. That's why I was glad when you finally texted me back on Christmas. I really wanted to talk to you."

"You were drunk, Harry," I scoffed.

"I was," he chuckled. "But I still meant every word I said. I missed you and I was thinking of you the entire time I was gone."

I blushed, looking down at my hands.

"I also wanted to make sure you were willing to see me when I returned," Harry continued. "I'd found that music box and I was really excited to give it to you. I reckoned that was the perfect opportunity to ask you out for New Year's Eve."

"I..I guess I'm not good at taking hints."

Harry laughed. "I guess not. 'Cause I thought I gave a lot."

I leaned my elbow on the table and rested my head in my hand. "I um...have a bad habit of reading too much into something. I suppose I was afraid of being wrong or disappointed. So I told myself you were just being nice. Even when you invited me to your Christmas party."

Harry's eyes staring directly into mine. "Rebecca, you're the person I cared the most about seeing at that party."

I widened my eyes. "Really?"

Harry smirked. "Yes. Do you think I called anybody else personally to make sure they were coming?"

If it was possible to still be breathing at that moment, I had no idea how I was. I felt the tears well in my eyes again so I threw my head back and quickly wiped them.

"I'm a first class moron," I muttered, my eyes shut tight.

"No you're not," I heard Harry say. "A little too cautious, maybe? But not a moron."

"I've just made a mess of everything," I cried. "You're so amazing, and while I got this idea in my head of kissing you at the stroke of midnight, you were thinking the same thing apparently, but I had no idea because I was getting ahead of myself while you were being romantic and I fucked it all up and-"

"Rebecca," said Harry, while I rambled.

"Then you got me that precious music box and came and brought me soup and you're so sweet, Harry, oh my god-"

"Rebecca!" Harry nearly shouted over me.

When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me, a look on his face that I couldn't quite read. My chest heaved with heavy breaths as I watched him rise from his chair and walk around the table to me. Then he surprised me by holding out his hand. Blinking, I took it and stood next to him as he pulled his phone out of his other back pocket. I watched as he tapped the screen a few times, then placed it on the table. The music began to play as Harry wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled shyly when I recognized Ella Fitzgerald's voice come through the little speaker.

When the bells all ring and the horns all blow and the couples we know are fondly kissing Will I be with you or will I be among the missing?

"Harry," I whispered as we began to sway.

Maybe it's much too early in the game

I sighed, sliding my hands up his arms to his shoulders. Harry's eyes sparkled just as they had that night at the Christmas party. I, however, probably looked like death warmed over and was suddenly conscious of my makeup-less face and oversized t-shirt.

"You're so beautiful," declared Harry.

"No," I shook my head. Harry merely nodded in response. Then slipping one hand from my waist, he lifted it and slid it under my ear as he continued to gaze into my eyes.

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight

His lips were on mine before I could protest. His other hand was now on the other side of my head as he cupped it gently.

"Harry," I whined between kisses. "Harry, I'm still sick. I don't...want you to get...what I have..."

"Shut up for a minute, Rebecca," he growled against my mouth. "I'm tryin' to be romantic."

With a slight giggle, I surrendered. Harry continued his soft kisses, leaving a trail across my cheek before pressing his against mine.

Ah, but in case I stand one little chance

Harry crooned in my ear, singing along to Ella.

Here comes the jackpot question in advance What are you doing New Year's New Year's Eve?

Lifting his head, he looked at me with the greenest, most sincere eyes I'd ever seen. His thumbs massaged my jaw for a moment or two before he spoke.

"So what do you say, love?"

The song had ended, but I felt like my body was still dancing.

"I say I want nothing more than to be with you. Wherever it is."

I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. Harry had texted to say he was on his way. After our little dance in the kitchen, we'd decided together to attend Jeff and Glenne's party. They were his friends after all, and the atmosphere, though still somewhat fancy, would probably be a little more relaxed and informal. Plus, Harry had made a good point that their house had a lovely patio, and we could step outside if needed, unlike at a stuffy hotel ballroom. Personally, I thought he was just thinking of more ways to be romantic. I wasn't about to fight him on that.

I'd still been under the weather for another day or so, but finally trudged through the next day so I could go shopping for something to wear. Harry had said he'd love to see me in that red dress again, but I'd told him he'd already seen me in it, and most likely anybody else who had seen me at the Christmas party that would also be at this one, including Jeff and Glenne. It was too soon for repeats, I told him.

So this time I'd chosen a short gold sequined dress with a sexy black mesh section down the front. I had to admit, I looked pretty and felt amazing in it. I stepped into my black heels and twirled around, smiling at myself just as I heard the doorbell. Grabbing my matching clutch, I answered the door excitedly.

"Oh!" I exclaimed when I opened it. I hadn't been prepared for what I saw before me. He was so handsome, he took my breath away. "Wow."

Harry nodded. "Wow, indeed."

It was only then that I noticed he was eyeing me up and down, taking me all in.

"My God, Rebecca," he swallowed hard before puffing out a huge breath. "Just when I thought you couldn't get more beautiful..."

I felt the blood literally flush my face at his compliment. I suddenly felt hot and weak in the knees.

"Thank you," I barely whispered.

Locking the door behind me, I took Harry's hand and walked with him out to the awaiting car.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so happy. Jeff and Glenne were absolutely wonderful people and such gracious hosts. After an hour or so I was already feeling right at home and even told them I wanted their house (teasing of course, as though I could ever afford it). They both told me I looked beautiful, and once when I excused myself to go to the restroom, I turned to see Jeff pat Harry on the shoulder and heard Glenne say I was lovely.

When I returned, Harry beamed at me, sliding his arm around my waist.

"Thank God," he sighed in my ear.

"What?" I stared at him incredulously.

"Was afraid you'd run off again."

"Harry!" I scoffed, but I realized he wasn't joking. At least not entirely.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I swear that's not happening tonight."

"Good," he grinned. "Are you having a good time?"

I nodded emphatically. "The best." Then I leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips.

Harry didn't leave my side all night except to use the toilet himself. He enjoyed introducing me to people, which made me feel appreciated, and I enjoyed seeing him happy and loose.

We took a stroll outside on the patio that was glowing with strings of lights. It was heavenly with the California breeze keeping the night cool, but not too cold. I stood by the railing looking out while Harry stood behind me, his hands on my hips as he nuzzled his face in my hair and down my neck.

About twenty minutes before midnight, the champagne started to get passed around so that everyone would have a glass to toast with.

"Rebecca," said Harry, raising his glass, "before the ball drops, I wanna make a little toast. To you."

"To me?" I smiled up at him.

"To us," he corrected, sliding his other hand down my arm until he captured my hand in his. Then clearing his throat, he continued. "Thank you for coming with me tonight."

"Thank you for asking me."

Harry's smile grew as he squeezed my hand. "You were my Christmas angel...if only for a bit..."

I looked down until Harry released my hand to lift my chin.

"Now you're...I'd say New Year's Eve angel but it doesn't make sense and honestly...you're even better than that."

For once I was totally speechless.

"Twenty seconds!" I heard someone call out.

Harry sighed. "To you, Rebecca. And hopefully...to us."

Not taking my eyes off his face, I clinked my glass with his and took a sip.

"To us," I finally echoed, lowering my glass.

"Ten! Nine!"

Harry's dimples dipped again as he took my glass from me and set it next to his on a nearby table.

"Six! Five!"

He grabbed me once more by the waist, pulling me flush against him, like he had when we were dancing. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck so that my face was merely inches from his. I felt his breath as he counted along with everyone, though not loud enough for me to hear.

"Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!"

His mouth was on mine before I finished saying year. He kissed me deeply like his life depended on it, and probably mine as well. I let my fingers tangle in the curls on the back of his head as I melted into each kiss. I could hear cheering around us, but it all sounded far away. There was only Harry and me, our lips, our tongues, our moment.

When our mouths finally separated, Harry continued to stare at me until a slow grin spread across his face.

"Happy New Year," he murmured.

"Yes," I nodded, my fingers grazing his cheek. "Very happy."

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

[black-aurora-nora]

The Lie Above Pt. 1 | Yandere!TMNT (2016) x Teen!Reader

The TV loudly played throughout the sewer that had been your home for a few months now. The same theme song that you'd now grown to hate played for the umpteenth time and you found yourself unable to watch what was once your favorite TV show.

You huffed, turning down the volume and picking up a word search book. This would be your 20th one, if you remembered correctly.

Flipping through the pages, you huffed again and threw the book back onto the small table.

You hated this.

You hated when your brothers left, but you understood that it couldn't be helped.

The world was ending outside, above the sewers. A couple months ago, an alien species called the Krang began their colonization of the world. Your brothers were some of the only few left that could help in the rebellion.

And though you understood that they were needed, you wished that your life wasn't so dull. Hiding out was incredibly draining.

You missed your old life.

Your mom and dad.

You used to cry a lot when you first found out they were dead. Leo was the one that told you and Mikey would stay behind to watch after you while you grieved.

The both of you grew close during that time but then you got better and they had to start going out to fight the bad guys.

Sometimes you worried about them.

Speaking of the devil, you heard the telltale sounds of your brothers cheering and whooping as they arrived back to the base.

"Wassup, (Y/N)!" Mikey greeted.

You mustered up a small smile, "Hey."

Raph groaned at your lack of enthusiasm, "Oh no," He groaned, "She's in a sour mood again. You run out of word searches again?"

Leo elbowed him, shooting him a sharp look, "Don't."

"What's troubling you, my little sister?" Mikey asked in a silly tone, coming over to sit by you and drape a green arm over your shoulder, "C'mon, you can tell Big Bro Mikey, ignore the big bad Raph."

“There’s nothing to do down here. You guys are gone for hours and I’m stuck here watching reruns and doing word searches.” You explained, “I need something else to do.”

Donnie hummed at that, taking in what you said with a push of his glasses, “Like what? I’m sure we can find something else for you above ground.”

You shrugged, sliding away from Mikey.

An idea popped into your head and you blurted it out, “What if there was a way I could help you guys out during your missions?”

“No.” Leo responded firmly.

You slumped slightly before continuing, “I don’t mean go out with you guys,” you corrected, “I meant what if Donnie taught me how to use some of his computers? I could be the team’s ‘eye’.”

Then you’d never be bored and know that they’re safe. It was perfect.

“No, (Y/N).”

You furrowed your brows, “Why not? I’m not in the line of fire and I’m actually a part of the team! I could be great help as long as Donnie teaches me!”

The three brothers looked to the leader and Leo only kept his eyes rested on you.

Raph crossed his arms, cocking his head to the side, “Do you really think that you’re smart enough to use Donnie’s computers? Or that Donnie has enough time to teach you?”

Those were good questions but you had answers.

“I’m not smart enough now, but I can learn and you guys can’t go out during the day so that leaves plenty of time for him to teach me.” You felt yourself glowing at how well you answered.

How could they say no now?

"Look, (Y/N)," Leo started with a sigh and you felt yourself slump ever so slightly, "Donnie is already our tech guy. We can't waste time trying to teach you what he already knows."

Donnie nodded sadly in agreement, "Leo's right, (Y/N). Plus, we need to rest up during the day. I can't have a sharp mind on little sleep, y'know?" He chuckled nervously.

"So... I'm just supposed to stay trapped down here doing nothing?!" You asked rhetorically, "You guys can go out and fight in the rebellion but I have to sit down here with no one to talk to and three things to do?" Your arms crossed over your chest, "Yeah, that sounds fair."

Raph scoffed at your display of attitude, "You make it sound like we have fun while we're out there."

"It's better than staying down here," You huffed, unable to stop yourself from speaking out your thoughts, "Sometimes I wish I'd died before I'd met you guys."

You felt a release in your chest. It kind of felt good to get that out. But it also felt bad because you knew it would hurt your brothers.

But maybe you wanted to hurt them. All they ever did was leave you down in the sewers expecting you to greet them with a smile every time they came back. It was only fair that they feel a bit of what you dealt with every day.

There was a stunned silence that surrounded you and you almost said more.

"You don't mean that." Leo told you tightly. He sounded like he knew what he was talking about.

A shrug left you, "Yeah, because Leo always knows the answer." You said with whimsical sarcasm. "Leo always knows what's best, so who gives a fuck what (Y/N) thinks, right?"

"(Y/N)-" Mikey reached out for your shoulder but you stood up.

"Let's just get poor (Y/N) some more puzzle books, that'll shut her up. Let's make sure she doesn't get too close to Mikey because I'm Leo and what I say goes, right?"

Despite how visibly upset you were, Leo's fortitude didn't crack.

"You're obviously upset and saying things you don't mean. Why don't you go cool off in your room?"

Without another word, you beelined straight to your room and slammed the door.

The brothers remained silent for a few more moments until Raph spoke up.

"She read you for filth, huh?" He chuckled.

Mikey snorted at the comment, “Yeah, Leo, that must’ve sucked. I’m glad I wasn’t on the receiving end of that one.”

“I don’t know if more word searches is going to fix this.” Donnie thought for a moment, “I can try and get some other TV shows burned on some CDs but who knows how long that’ll hold her over until the next tantrum.”

“We’ll have to talk to her later. Try to help her understand that she’s got no choice but to stay down here.” Leo told his brothers.

“Probably need to make this ‘rebellion’ seem more dangerous than she previously thought.”

With that said, Donnie turned to go to his computers, “Since (Y/N) went to bed early, I’m going to make sure that her parents aren’t still looking for her on the news channel.”

“Good idea. Hopefully they’ll lose hope soon.”

The four brothers went their separate ways and (Y/N) quickly scurried back to her room, heart in her stomach.

What the hell was going on?

[mariacallous]

There’s a nasty not-so-secret secret no one likes to talk about, so it’s best to start there: Black women are among the most hated demographic worldwide. In America especially, anti-Blackness is the air. It’s everywhere even when you can’t see it. From the ivory halls of Washington to C-suites at Fortune 500 companies, Blackness is treated as less than. And because that is how it works and how it has worked generation after generation, not even Beyoncé, currently the most commanding force in music, can escape the fangs of misogynoir.

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: A Black woman was told she did not belong, that she was not welcome in a certain space, so she paved a path all her own. That’s the story Beyoncé recounted in an Instagram post in March, the day she announced her new country album, Cowboy Carter. “The criticisms I faced when I first entered this genre forced me to propel past the limitations that were put on me,” she wrote. Unlike other musical genres, country is infamous in who it chooses to exclude. The genre’s history is rife with allegiances to the old ways of American prejudice, and no bearing or social position can change that.

The sweet irony, of course, is that now we have Cowboy Carter, the second installment in a three-act project of historical and musical restoration that Beyoncé began in 2022 with Renaissance, her dance-floor tribute to house music. She is on a mission to reclaim her time. The rare artist who can pull off such a canny move, Beyoncé now represents something bigger than music. She’s an industry unto herself: swaggering and audacious in reach, with a built-in fan base that anticipates every album drop, Instagram post, and product release. Whether you agree with the motivations behind her work or not (and there are valid criticisms to be made for artists who create at such a grand scale as her; mass influence in all arenas of life necessitates questioning, there’s no denying that), no other contemporary Black musician will bring more awareness to country’s gated meadowlands—its past, present, and possible futures—than Beyoncé. If nothing else, she gets people talking.

“I’d like to actually thank the CMAs for pissing her off,” X user @gardenoutro wrote Friday morning, just past midnight, in the hour following the album’s official release, calling attention to Beyoncé’s 2016 performance with the Chicks that was later shunned by Country Music Association members. Where Lemonade was scorned memoir and Renaissance flirted with fantasy—a disco-lit dreamscape where freedom and love have no inverse—Cowboy Carter unravels like autofiction, blending biography with novelistic flair on songs like “Daughter” and “Spaghettii.” It takes country into uncharted terrain. “It’s easy to listen to 27 tracks when they’re all good,” songwriter Rob Milton wrote on X.

That’s the other thing about the Beyoncé Effect: There is no room for dissent in her universe. Online, and particularly across social media, new albums of hers are given billboard status. It is cause for celebration but rarely one for challenge or sharp inquiry.

“A lot of people still want to join in with something larger than themselves. Fandom offers them a way to do that. It is not, though, entirely a utopian space,” says Mark Duffett, a professor at the University of Chester who researches fandom. “The concerns and issues that society has are mirrored in fan communities. They do not escape from being part of the wider social world.”

As powerful as her music can be, the release of a Beyoncé album exposes the fiction of a shared internet. There is not one but many. In its most intense form, fan logic thrives in isolation. On Beyoncé’s internet, as with comparable fan cultures, logic finds comfort in the sideways geometry of the echo chamber. Its reasoning animorphs into blind zealotry, wagging its finger in the face of disagreement. Fan logic butts against balanced judgment. It has led Barbs (Nicki Minaj fans), Beliebers (Justin Bieber fans), Hive members (Beyoncé fans), and the like into a cycle of heated confrontation, and sometimes wild irrationality.

Brittany Luse wasn't expecting death threats when she commented about a Cowboy Carter ad that was projected onto the front of the Guggenheim Museum, but she also knew “the Hive can be so intense in their defense of any criticism of Beyoncé, let alone any perceived slight. So I wasn't expecting nothing to happen.” Luse is the host of NPR’s pop culture podcast It’s Been a Minute and a fan of the singer. “I maintain a pretty low-key presence online, so over the years, I’ve only dealt with wild social media attacks a handful of times, with the Swifties or the manosphere, but never death threats. They probably should have stressed me out, but they mostly just confounded me. I said I didn’t like an ad, and now you want me to choke? That’s too much.”

That, more than anything, is the tenor of fandom on the internet today: Perceived disloyalty is met with Tony Soprano–style intimidation. The rise and permanence of social media has led, in part, to the decomposition of fan culture. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram brought us closer together. Platforms that prized connection boosted the careers of artists from burgeoning to box office stars. But it had costs, Luse says. Instant access to celebrities rewired our relationships entirely.

“You can find seemingly endless content from your fave and befriend other fans more easily than ever before. Of course that would bring people joy,” she says. “But that constant, instant access also at least partially fuels an us-against-them mindset that puts some people into attack mode over their favorite artist.”

But perhaps the problem is not that such intense fandoms exist, but where they take root and make a home. “Another thing that has happened is that fans might be talking on social media to each other in ways that they do not necessarily anticipate nonfans will seek out or understand,” Duffett says. “It raises the question of whether a community can keep to itself and yet communicate in a public space.”

Beyoncé represents a monoculture at a moment when monocultures have gone all but extinct. For her, extreme fandom is both anchor and ascendence. There are downsides, unquestionably so, but the people who power Beyoncé’s platform provide a necessary function too: When the door has been slammed in her face and she’s told she’s not welcome inside, or when the Recording Academy twice overlooks her for Album of the Year, it is her fans who give her the authority to reboot country music in her image, and perhaps, in doing so, chart a new course altogether. “It would be cool if she never mentioned the Grammys again,” Luse said on X. “When you can do all this, who cares?”