#but i have historically been a stubborn asshole who hasnt been easy to talk to...
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#got some sleep and i think it helped#im at least not sobbing uncontrollably#trying to approach things more rationally but man its hard#not even sure how or who i would ask for help#saying βhey my dickhole of a brain has made me overthink every interaction weve ever had please say nice thingsβ is fine#but every week? every month? i dont want my loved ones walking on eggshells to avoid setting me off#i dont WANT to worry about people being angry or upset with me#i know you cant please everyone all the time#but i have historically been a stubborn asshole who hasnt been easy to talk to...#so i always worry that someone is upset but has decided its not worth bringing to me#which is not fair to them#god i wish i could stop thinking that my loved ones are going to leave me or that their love isnt conditional#but with how many times that was the case...#that part of my brain is EXTRA hard to shut up....
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