#but i gotta change the dressing before it festers and kills me anyway. the salve i could never find on my own is friendship
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I learned on/was held up by all three of my friends last night. I really hate that I randomly get lightheaded. I really love being (literally) supported.
#okay but also. my heart. it burst. when i had the opposite of past traumas happen#i really hope i didn't get all stiff and freak out and make her feel awkward or anything. i know i flinched internally for a second#but someone putting their arm over my shoulder to pull me close used to be accompanied by one of two things#a punch in the gut or a punch in the feels. a way to whisper in my ear something awful and demeaning that no one else could hear#but yesterday i was pulled close and told 'i got you Boo'#and yeah. she was being both supportive and silly at the same time#but even silly little words like Boo or Love used to be weilded as weapons against me#hearing a -what the HECK are they called??? oh!- term of endearment coming from someone who actually holds me dear#let's just say i took it home with me. unwrapped all my feelings over it. and fell asleep feeling loved#i didn't realize how much i needed to hear something like that -from her specifically- until it happened#Like. you can save yourself. you can patch yourself up. but you didn't wound yourself#so it would be awfully hard to fully heal yourself. i sure got myself out of there and covered the pain in bandages.#but i gotta change the dressing before it festers and kills me anyway. the salve i could never find on my own is friendship#hey google. play pieces by red#and if Bestie felt me flinch tell her that i didn't mean it. she can support my dizzy ass whenever she wants
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