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nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos · 11 months

Text

I did iiiiiiiiit

This was supposed to be two chapters but idgaf, now it's just one chapter.

But there will be more chapters, of course.

From an Anon ask request, basically Reader has been isekai'd into OPLA, and it'll be Zoro X Reader X Sanji.

Only Zoro right now though, since it starts just before Baratie

Dude has no business having such a pretty smile wtf

Anyway heeeeeere we feckin goooo

Strawhat Stowaway

Ch 1

Next Chapter Link

SFW right now but maybe not later haven't decided yet

Little bit of hurt/comfort, slow burn, silly, fluffy, will be trigger warnings in later chapters but not this one

I'm already having so much fun with this I can't handle it

Wordcount: 5.3k

After an alcohol drenched Halloween party at your friends' dorm, you wake up to find yourself in a strange place. This might not be quite as alarming...if not for the fact that it's an entirely different world, enshrouded with pirates and strange magic.

♬♫ Getting Surreal - The Fratellis ♫♬

Nothin' untrue can ever be revealed

Cover my eyes, this is getting surreal

There really hadn't been a dull moment since Zoro agreed to sail with Luffy, and this was definitely no exception.

He blinked rapidly down at the unfamiliar girl stretched across the hammock in the cabin below the quarterdeck of their new ship, fast asleep and dressed in an oddly sterotypical pirate costume with what looked like a fake flintlock pistol tucked into one of her cloth belts. The small "crew" hadn't long set out from Syrup Village on the Going Merry, and already things were getting weird again.

He backed out of the cabin slowly, leaning back through the doorway to look at the others behind him—Nami going over the Grand Line chart, Usopp sitting on the railing behind her listening to her explain the Red Line; and Luffy, carefree as ever, reclined back on the ship's figurehead, still clearly thrilled that his plan to get a free ship had worked out in his favor.

Nevermind the hiccup of all of them nearly dying—again.

"Uh—hey, guys?" The other three looked up at him, Nami lifting an eyebrow at his offhand tone. "I...think we have a stowaway."

"Excuse me?" said Nami sharply, immediately rolling up the map.

"Whoa, seriously? We've got a—" Luffy slid down from the figurehead and hopped down onto the deck, excitable as ever and hurrying over with Usopp and Nami to look over Zoro's shoulder. He laughed a little. "Cool."

"Wh—this isn't cool," said Nami, shaking her head at Luffy in disbelief. "It's technically kidnapping?"

Luffy's face fell at that. "Oh—yeah, probably not cool. Uh...." He rubbed at the back of his neck, glancing between his crewmates. "So...do we turn around and take her back?"

"She's not from Syrup Village." Zoro glanced over his shoulder at Usopp, who looked easily as flummoxed as the rest of them. "I mean, it's not a big town, I know everyone there, and...." He shook his head slowly. "Never seen her before."

Of course it couldn't be that simple. Nothing was ever that simple.

"Then how did she end up on a ship that's been sitting in the shipyard there for years?" said Nami, crossing her arms as she leaned in the doorframe behind Zoro, frowning thoughtfully.

"Five hundred Berry says there was booze involved," offered Zoro, and she scoffed.

"Not taking that bet."

And that was the moment you chose to awaken.

Rubbing your eyes, slowly opening them as you stretched your arms out over your head.

Blinking just as slowly as you seemed to take in the strangers huddled in the doorway.

And then, with a yelp of alarm, you sat straight up, attempting to back yourself against the wall, and fell off of the hammock entirely instead, scooting yourself back into a corner, your eyes wide as saucers.

"Wh—who—where the hell—?"

The crew glanced between each other in growing concern and alarm, and finally, while you continued to stammer in fright in the corner looking very much like a trapped animal, Nami heaved out a sigh. "Not it."

"Not it," Usopp echoed quickly.

Luffy was utterly unfazed, shoving himself into the small confines of the doorframe as well, his shoulder pressed up against Zoro's arm. "Hi there! I'm Monkey D. Luffy, this is my first mate Zoro—" Zoro rolled his eyes toward the ceiling as Luffy clapped him on the shoulder. "So..." He pushed through and sat down in the center of the hammock and you pressed yourself further back against the wall, looking no less terrified. "How come you were asleep on our ship?"

"Sh—ship—?" you repeated breathlessly, glancing warily between him and Zoro. Your eyes landed on the three katanas at his hip and widened even further.

"Yeah! We're going to the Grand Line," Luffy said, grinning happily. "You can come with us, I'm still gathering a crew. I'm gonna be King of the Pi—ow, hey!" he added as Zoro grabbed him by the back of his collar.

"Not helping, captain," he said, dragging him out of the cabin. "Just go do—go do something else."

"I am kinda hungry," he said, frowning. Then he waved at Nami and Usopp. "Hey guys, crew meeting in the kitchen!"

Nami grumbled something about not being a crew, but despite that and rolling her eyes, both she amd Usopp followed Luffy across the deck and out of sight, roping Zoro right into dealing with...whatever the hell this was. The swordsman leaned in the doorframe for a long, silent moment, hand curled over his mouth, brow furrowed, trying to decide how to address the issue. The fact that you had no idea where you were was definitely not a huge help in the matter.

He pulled his hand down with a sigh, crossing his arms.

"Alright, so...you got a name?" he asked finally. You swallowed, eyeing his swords again as you forced out your name—and then pointed at the swords.

"A-are those—real?" Your voice practically squeaked.

"Uh...yeah," he said slowly, glancing down at the handles briefly before looking back at you again, raising his eyebrows. He glanced at the obviously fake gun in your belt, and nodded at it. "What about that?"

"N—no, why the hell would I be carrying around a *real*—" You shook your head quickly, your eyes Stull wide with disbelief. "I was at a Halloween party at my friend's dorm and—"

"Hollow-what?"

You blinked, and gave a small, nervous laugh. "What?" you forced out weakly. "Halloween? Trick-or-treating? College kids use it as an excuse to dress up in stupid costumes and get drunk?"

"Trick or—College?"

This definitely wasn't helping—you were staring at him like he had lived under a rock his whole life, he was staring at you like you were speaking another language, and you might as well have been. It was pretty clear that wherever you had come from, it hadn't been Syrup Vilage, probably hadn't been anywhere even in the East Blue.

But that didn't make any sense at all.

"Alright...." he said, shaking his head, shaking away the growing fog of confusion. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I—ah..." You grimaced a little, wrapping your arms around your knees. "I vaguely remember getting talked into doing a keg stand, one of my friends dropping me, hitting my head pretty hard." You rubbed at your left temple a moment, and frowned when you pulled your hand back. "I...I swear I was bleeding...." you mumbled to yourself, rubbing at your eyes now.

"So...you got drunk at this... 'Halloween' thing," said Zoro slowly, "hit your head, and...stumbled onto a shipyard to sleep it off?"

That didn't sound right to him—nor did it seem to sound right to you, as you lowered your hand only from your eyes to stare at him, your expression deadpan.

"Last I checked," you said, "there weren't any ships near my campus."

"...Right," he said, nodding slowly. He rubbed at the back of his neck, resting his other elbow at the hilt of one of his katanas, trying to form some grasp of the situation.

And failing spectacularly.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about," you said, your shoulders slumping.

"Nope," affirmed Zoro, shrugging a shoulder. This was by far the weirdest thing that had happened since he had started following Luffy—and considering he had just assisted in saving a minnionaire heiress from being murdered by grown adults dressed like cats, that was saying quite a lot.

"Why does everyone keep saying ship?" He raised his eyebrows at you, glancing slowly over his shoulder at the deck of the Going Merry. "That doesn't make any sense, I was over an hour from the coast, that's—that's ridiculous."

"I mean..." Scratching behind his ear, he turned to the side and nodded out toward the deck. You didn't seem particularly dangerous, so there couldn't be any harm in it. "Guess you can see for yourself, if you want."

Your eyes drifted to the doorway—and then snapped immediately back onto him, your face growing pale in an instant. You pulled yourself to your feet, swaying slightly with the motion of the ship against the waves, and started cautiously toward the door...and then stopped, eyeing his swords again.

Zoro took a few steps back, out of the door and onto the deck, giving you enough space for you to be comfortable—at least, as comfortable as you could be in your present predicament—and gestured for you to come out when your feet remained glued to the floor.

Slowly, cautiously, you took a few more steps forward, stopping in the doorway, your eyes scanning slowly around the the caravel—the barrels sitting around the deck, the ram-shaped figurehead, the sails flapping high over your head in the wind, out toward the water surrounding the vessel on all sides.

And your face went from pale to a bit greenish, before you suddenly rushed across the deck in a stumble, bent over the railing, and vomited.

It was honestly a little hard not to laugh. It shouldn't have been funny; you were obviously out of your depth, bordering on outright panic, with no idea where you were or how you had gotten there—and possibly seasick on top of that. But Zoro had learned, pretty quickly, that if he wanted to hang onto whatever sanity he had left, then it was important to find humor in the absolute chaos that seemed to follow him and the rest of the crew since he had joined Luffy.

And this was definitely no exception.

He managed to cover a chuckle by clearing his throat, not that you were really paying any attention as you slumped forward, covering your head with your hands. Zoro approached you slowly, a little cautiously, largely so as not to startle you and send you tumbling over the side of the ship in surprise, and he leaned back against the railing a few feet away from you. "Ah...you good?"

You lifted your head slowly, looking at him in disbelief.

"No, I wouldn't say that I am," you said. "I'm on a—a ship in the middle of—of—I don't even know where—"

"East Blue." You blinked several times, clearly bit processing what he was saying. "Uh...the ocean?"

"East Blue," you repeated. "So...like...the Atlantic?"

"The what?"

You gave a growl of frustration at that, turning your head and covering your face with both your hands, and Zoro found himself at a lack for words for a long moment. He was definitely no navigator, but he hadn't ever heard of any ocean or sea referred to as "The Atlantic—" nor evidently had you heard of the East Blue.

"Oh, god, what a fucking mess."

"Yeah, usually is here," Zoro said under his breath, more to himself than to you, running a hand back through his hair.

"How—how are you remotely okay with this?" you asked, looking over at him again.

That was actually a good question, one that made Zoro freeze for a long moment. In the past handful of days, he had been imprisoned, almost skewered in a circus sideshow act he wanted no part of, helped beat up a clown with removable body parts, and then there was the whole cat thing. Now he was talking to a girl who had appeared out of nowhere on their new ship, who had no further idea of where she was than he did of where she could have come from.

"Been a weird week," he answered finally, frowning. You weren't the only one a little out of your depth—the entire crew probably was.

Except for maybe Luffy. That idiot didn't seem like anything fazed him, and Zoro almost envied him for it right now.

"Well...we've got a pretty decent navigator," Zoro said, looking down at you. "We could try to figure out where you came from and get you back there."

"Princeton, New Jersey?" He lifted an eyebrow, and you sighed in defeat. "Yeah, thought so." You turned around, and sat down heavily on the deck, staring across the expanse and off toward the horizon, shaking your head. "Maybe I'm dreaming. I've had weirder dreams after blacking out. Or someone could have slipped something in one of my drinks and I'm having a really bad trip." You tilted your head back against the railing, rolling your eyes over to him. "So where exactly are we?"

"We...left Syrup Village about fifteen minutes ago," he offered. "Guess we're probably headed to Loguetown, it's supposed to be close to the Grand Line. And Luffy says he's going to be King of the Pirates, so..."

"P...pirates," you repeated weakly. You looked down at yourself, at the rather gaudy and exaggerated pirate costume you were wearing, and gave an equally weak laugh. "How...fitting." He didn't quite manage to mask his snort of laughter this time, but you laughed as well, so it was probably fine. Laughed, closing your eyes and shaking your head. "And here I was stressing out over studying for finals."

"Finals...?"

"Exams," you reiterated. "Tests. I was in college...in *school*. For psychology, at that. Now I'm the one going insane, apparently." Your laugh trailed off into a sigh as you rubbed a hand across your face, shaking your head. "What a life."

College. Halloween. Midterms. Trick-or-treating. You really might as well have been speaking a different language. It was honestly all too weird for Zoro, and while you seemed to be slowly coming to terms with things—even if you were chalking it all up as a hallucination—you were both still pretty lost. He heaved a sigh, looking down at you, trying to figure out who had given him the authority to deal with this—and then he shrugged a shoulder.

"Drink?" he suggested.

"That's the most sane suggest I've heard since I woke up," you agreed. "If you're all pirates, I'm guessing it's rum on the menu?"

"No idea," he admitted. "We just got the ship. But we were told it's fully stocked."

"In that case, whatever you have," you sighed, laying your forehead against your knees. "The stronger the better."

"Yeah," he agreed slowly, glancing around the deck. There were innumerable ways you could get yourself hurt or in trouble if you didn't have any experience on a ship—and you had made perfectly clear that you didn't. He sighed to himself, and extended a hand down to you. "Let's just...get you situated somewhere first."

You lifted your head, meeting his eyes, glancing at his hand...and then, with a sigh of your own, you took it, allowing him to help pull you to your feet. "Lead the way, I guess," you said resignedly.

Honestly, he wasn't sure where to lead you. He settled on the cabin Nami had claimed as hers, with a full bed for you to collapse back onto, where he watched you pull a pillow down over your eyes, as if trying to blot out the new reality you had found yourself embedded into.

He was still trying to wrap his head around the reality you had spoken of as he left you there to enter the kitchen, where Usopp and Luffy were in the middle of arguing over the new flag that the former had just presented.

"That's unique," he commented, glancing at the design.

"Yeah, but he's not the captain—"

"Yes I am—!"

"I'm the capt—"

"No, I'm the—they call me Captain Usopp—"

"How's our stowaway?" Nami asked over both of them, as Zoro pulled open a cabinet.

"Weird," he answered, raising his voice over the bickering between Luffy and Usopp. Both of the offending parties looked over as he pulled down a bottle of what looked like liquor of some kind. "You ever heard of New Jersey?"

"N...no," said Nami, glancing at Luffy and Usopp—both of whom shook their heads as well. "What is it?"

"I don't know," he said, pulling the cork out if the bottle and giving it a sniff. Whatever it was, it smelled string enough. "Something about college and Halloween. I have no idea."

"So what, we're getting drunk about it?" she laughed.

"You want a different approach, you deal with it." Nami leaned back in her seat, raising her hands in mock-surrender.

"It's nothing to worry about," said Luffy happily, his arm still draped across Usopp's shoulders. "From now on, it's going to be nothing but smooth sailing—"

BOOM—

Luffy and Usopp clung to each other in the shock of whatever had just hit the ship, as Nami rolled her eyes. "Had to open your mouth..." she mumbled, pulling herself upright and hurrying toward the deck.

Zoro glanced down at the bottle of liquor in his hand, his eyes widening as he realized you were by yourself on a ship under cannon fire. He swore under his breath and hurried off himself.

You were sitting up on the bed when he made it to the cabin, had your fingers stuffed into your ears and your eyes clenched shut, and you jolted in alarm when Zoro put a hand on your shoulder, staring at him in borderline terror.

"Uh—here—" he offered, pushing the bottle of liquor into your hands. "Just—stay here."

"Is this normal?" you half-shouted over the roar of the cannon fire, glancing between the bottle and him.

"Nothing on this crew is normal," he assured you.

And because that really wasn't any decent sort of reassurance, he just sort of awkwardly half-patted you on the head before hurrying back out to the deck.

He really wasn't much of a help, any more than anyone else was, when they realized they were being attacked by a Marine ship. There was an abrupt and baffling realization that Luffy recognized the vice admiral aboard the opposing ship as his grandfather. There was an utter scramble as Luffy and Usopp tried to figure out how to fire a canon.

And then, there was a pure spectacle, as Luffy used his Devil Fruit powers to inflate himself into a balloon and deflect a cannonball that Garp The Fist had thrown at the Merry—

"What the f—!?"

And you hadn't stayed put.

God dammit.

Zoro had to sprint to the quarterdeck to reach you. You, gripping the railing, white-knuckled and in clear shock at what you had just witnessed, Zoro reached you just in time to catch you before you could faint in outright shock at what you had just witnessed and hit the deck. You definitely weren't just acting, you really were completely out of your depth.

Though he supposed fainting wasn't the most abnormal reaction to the sight of Luffy turning himself into a human hot air balloon.

Nami leaned against the railing with a heavy sigh once she managed to veer the ship toward a fog bank where the Marines wouldn't have a good enough visual to continue their attack, and shook her head at Luffy and Usopp celebrating. "Looks like they only damaged the railing a little," she said. "Could have been a lot worse."

"Yeah," Zoro agreed, shifting your unconscious form to lift you onto his shoulder. "A lot worse."

"Someone should probably talk to him," she said, looking back down as Luffy took a seat on the deck and set to picking loose straws from his hat. "The whole my grandpa's a Marine Vice Admiral thing."

"Not it," Zoro said, and Nami rolled her eyes over to him.

"You're his first mate. I think this falls under your job description," she said flatly.

"I think stowaway detail does, too," he countered. Nami glanced at you, still passed out cold, and gave a small snort of laughter. "I'm busy. You can go talk to him if you think it's that important."

"Yeah. Busy." She rolled her eyes away from him at that, pushing herself away from the railing. "More like an excuse to get drunk with the hot girl that magically appeared in your hammock."

He tossed a wry glare in Nami's direction as she headed for the stairs. Maybe she wasn't completely wrong—trying to unravel the mystery behind your sudden appearance definitely sounded more appealing than confronting Luffy about his family history.

And, yeah, you were pretty hot.

"I'm just trying to help," he said, shaking his head—he knew better than to tell Nami she was even half-right. She'd just use it to find some way to blackmail him.

"Yeah, yeah." She stopped at the stairs leading down to the deck. "Did she say anything about where she came from?"

He shrugged his free shoulder, glancing at you. "Some place called Princeton-New-Jersey."

Nami raised an eyebrow. "Never heard of it." If the navigator hadn't heard of it...that definitely didn't bode well for you. Nami sighed, glancing at you once more. "Just...I don't know—try to find out more, I guess. See if there's any hints about exactly where she came from. She's got to be scared out of her mind."

"That's the plan," said Zoro, shifting your weight on his shoulder. Nami gave a short nod before heading down the stairs.

Zoro carried you back to the room he had left you in before the firefight and set you carefully on Nami's bed. You were probably going to be on the verge of a mental break when you woke back up, if you were as out of place as you seemed to be. There were plenty of people who weren't familiar with devil fruits, and you had just witnessed the power of one firsthand, in a pretty dramatic way.

Zoro rubbed the back of his neck, staring down at you for a long moment, still racking his brain for some idea of what the hell they were supposed to do with you.

He finally settled for sitting on the floor next to the bed, leaning back against the nightstand, and grabbing the bottle of whiskey. He uncorked it and took a pull from the bottle.

"Never a dull moment," he mumbled to himself, laying his head back against the nightstand with a small thunk.

Which was just enough to stir you—he nearly dropped the bottle in alarm when you sat straight up on the bed, looking around. Then you groaned, falling back again and pulling a pillow over your face. "Why am I still here?" you groaned, your voice muffled. "God, this is a nightmare..."

"Yeah," said Zoro, frowning a little—the whole situation really was a nightmare, and he felt for you on that. "But it's real."

You lifted the pillow, turning your head to look at him, looking utterly defeated. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure, yeah." That was a difficult question to be absolutely positive about, but Zoro wasn't really one for waxing existential. You rolled your eyes to the ceiling, your head dropping back onto the bed again, silent for a long moment.

"How," you finally said, slowly, "did your captain inflate himself?" You shook your head. "Not a sentence I thought I'd ever say," you added under your breath, shaking your head, staring wide-eyed at the ceiling.

Zoro gave a snort of laughter and held out the bottle, which you grabbed away immediately, propping yourself up on one elbow to take a long drink. "Devil fruit. He ate it when he was a kid." You looked at him, blinking a few times. "Basically turned his body into rubber."

"U—uh‐huh."

And you took another quick gulp of whiskey before handing the bottle back and shifting onto your side.

"And that's...normal, then? Just...eat a fruit and turn into rubber?"

"It's not really common," he said, laughing a little. "Devil fruits. They're pretty rare. And they all do different things." He took a drink and set the bottle back behind him on the nightstand, stretching an arm out across his knee. "Few days ago we had to fight this asshole clown guy with removable body parts."

"Removable...body..." You gave a small, rather nervous chuckle, tucking a hand under your cheek as you stared at the wall, across the room, your eyes far away. "This is like some stupid anime plot. Hit my head on a fucking keg at a Halloween party and wake up in magic-pirate-land."

"Anime—?"

"Don't ask," you said, closing your eyes and grimacing. "Really not important." You opened your eyes, meeting his gaze with a hopeless sort of frown. "I'm really stuck here, aren't I?"

"I mean...if we could figure out how you got here, or...." He trailed off as you lifted your eyebrows, your expression turning skeptical. He sighed to himself—lying to you wasn't really going to help anything. "Yeah," he said finally, frowning himself. "I guess you are for now."

Your gazes remained locked for a long moment—maybe a moment too long, maybe a little too...intensely. Your eyes drifted for a moment, quickly, passing up and down him, before you pulled in a deep breath and sat straight up ar the edge of the bed, your hand shooting out to grab the bottle of whiskey from the nightstand and take a long pull from it.

Grimacing slightly at the bitterness of the liquor, you lowered the bottle, huffing out a sigh, your face tinged with a hint of a blush.

And Zoro cut his eyes away upon noticing it, clearing his throat a little and standing up from the floor to lean back against the nightstand, putting a little more distance between the two of you.

"Guess it could be worse." He did glanced over when you held the bottle out, and he took it as you pulled the costume tricorne hat from your head and ran a hand back through your hair. "You guys seem okay for 'pirates.'"

He gave a little laugh at that, at how you lifted a hand to mime quotes at the word. "Yeah. Pirates," he said. He took a drink and shook his head. "We're all pretty new to this, so." He shrugged a shoulder. "You're not the only one that's a little disoriented."

"Really?" you said, smirking. Your eyes darted down to his katanas for a second. "How new?"

"About a week," he said. You lifted your eyebrows at that. "I was hunting pirates before that."

You snorted, taking the bottle back, your hand brushing against his as you did—it was subtle, could have been an accident, but between the growing amusement in your tone and your eyes, he doubted it was. "So what, can't beat 'em, join 'em?"

"Not exactly," he said, grinning a little himself as you took a sip and rested the bottle on your knee. "Last time I went to turn in a bounty I got into it with this Marine captain's dumbass kid at a tavern and they took me prisoner. Luffy saw the fight and decided he wanted me on his crew, so he freed me on his way to break into the base and steal a map."

"Wait—" You shook your head, your eyes positively alight with amusement now. "Wait, wait wait—did he know you were a pirate hunter?"

"Yeah."

"So he's either brave or stupid, then?" you said, lifting the bottle again.

"Pretty unhealthy combination of both, actually," he laughed. He took the bottle back when you held it out. "But he's a good guy. Has a lot of heart. Just wants everyone he meets to be able to follow their dreams." You folded your hands over your knee, still smiling as he took a sip and set the bottle down behind him. "So what's the deal with the whole 'psychology' thing?"

"Oh that—that's what I was studying in college. School," you added quickly when he lifted an eyebrow. "Uh, sort of like...a school you go to so you can learn more about the job you want. I'm planning on...." Your smile waned a little as you leaned back on the bed, your eyes falling to your knees. "Was planning on being a therapist. Help people with their problems when they don't have anyone else to turn to." You laughed quietly, biting your lip. "Probably sounds lame compared to what you guys are doing. Fighting with Marines and—clowns with removable body parts."

"No, that sounds..." You had planned on dedicating your life to helping others. "Pretty cool, actually." He crossed his arms, watching you for a long moment as your lips curved toward a small smile. "How's that work, though? People just pay you and you give them adivce?"

"In a nutshell, yeah. It's a little more in depth than that, but..." You lifted your gaze to his, smiling and shrugging one shoulder. "I've still got a lot left to learn, but...I could probably give you a session, if you're curious. For a price."

Zoro lifted his eyebrows as you leaned forward, resting your elbows on your knees, your chin against one of your palms, your smile widening a little as your eyes scanned him up and down again, a little slower this time, more deliberately.

"I might be willing to settle for a date as compensation."

His eyes widened.

What.

That was...forward.

Maybe there had been a little flirting between the two of you, but that had thrown him right off his guard.

"I—uh—"

And you looked pretty amused that it had.

Zoro was saved from his alarmed stammering by the sound of quick footsteps approaching the room. You both turned your attention toward the open doorframe as Luffy skidded to a halt there, his eyes positively glowing with excitement.

"Guys, you gotta see what we found, come on—"

And with that, and without giving either of you a single second to respond, he grabbed you amd Zoro both by the wrist and set to dragging you both out toward the deck. You tossed a sideways glance at Zoro on the way, looking almost frightened.

"Is he always so—?"

"You get used it," said Zoro shortly.

And once on the deck, he pushed you both toward the railing, just as the Going Merry was beginning to emerge from the thick fog bank that had enshrouded the caravel, revealing another, much larger ship anchored on the calm ocean ahead, with several other ships docked around it. A glowing red neon sign hung on the side, high over a door that led into the lower part of the vessel.

"Wh...what's a 'Baratie'?" said Usopp, looking over the railing next to Zoro, squinting at the sign.

"That smell..." Nami laughed as she leaned against the railing next to you. "I think this place is a restaurant."

"Then I know what we're gonna do next," said Luffy, pushing between you and Nami to lean over the railing, grinning.

"Disguise the ship so the Marines can't find us?" suggested Nami, cutting her eyes at him.

"Sail back to Syrup Village where it's safe?" offered Usopp.

"Nah." Luffy's grin only widened as he stared at the atrange ship, and he said excitably, "let's eat!"

You stared at him in alarm as he smacked his hand against the railing and hurried off across the deck, before your eyes turned back to the Baratie, wide as saucers, your mouth fallen open a bit.

"I...it's a fish," you said, a little weakly.

Zoro glanced over at you, and sighed to himself. If this day got any weirder he was probably going to have to take you up on the offer of the whole "therapy" thing. He shook his head a little, shoving away from the railing himself.

"That fish better have a bar."

#opla #one piece #zoro #roronoa zoro #rorona zoro x reader #zoro opla #zoro one piece #fluff #opla fanfiction #one piece fanfiction #zoro x reader

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ebthecelebrity · 5 years

Text

Don’t Let Mercury Retrograde Get You F*cked Up!

With the Mercury Retrograde in effect until July 31st, I have definitely been quieter. This is the dreadful time of the year where planet Mercury moves in an opposite direction to planet Earth. Mercury is the planet associated with Communication. As a major believer in astrology, I have always been intrigued with the planets and stars and am a big believer that we are balls of energy walking on earth.

Energy never lies.

With the retrograde miscommunication, technical errors, and angry verbal blow-ups are expected. This is the time to OBSERVE, NOT ABSORB. If you observe the energy around you, you don’t have to absorb none of it. Remember, every action doesn’t deserve a reaction. With this being said, over the past week, I have been observant and really shaking my damn head at the things I am seeing with grown ass adults. I mean, do I really have to write this article on etiquette? Why yes, yes I do. Somewhere, we lost our integrity and human empathy. From childish social media posts, petty family members and high school equivalent drama at work, the retrograde’s energy is suffocating me! It could very well be the energy bouncing off the retrograde, or it could simply be the lack of decent manners.

I wanted to share 8 etiquette rules that I live by. Remind you, I am only 36 years young and I have a lot to learn. Some of these, I, too, must remember and never step outside of the lines of respect. No one is perfect. If you are over 30 years old and you have to be reminded of these, it’s time to sit down, self reflect and repair your behavior.

1. When dropping a friend/lover/family member off at their home, wait until they have fully unlocked their door and went inside their house before leaving. I can’t tell you how much this bothers my spirit. It screams, “IDGAF if you truly get home safe or not.” A similar situation I had to learn from was when I was in my early 20s. I dated a guy who lived in a not so great part of town. After a night of clubbing, drinking excessively and even sexual relations, this guy would carelessly fall asleep. I would too sometimes but then realize I had to wake up to head home as it was still dark outside. This guy would never wake up, causing me to venture outside alone. My first pet peeve with this is if you can’ t handle your alcohol, don’t overindulge and leave your date to fend for themselves. I would always say a silent prayer that once I walked outside to my car no one would be hiding behind some bushes to kidnap or rob me. This behavior is inexcusable. Always make sure your loved one is fully in the house before driving off. I am not only discussing this as something to be aware of in bad neighborhoods, but what if that person lost their keys and their phone was dead?

2. Please don’t talk loudly on the phone in public. Okay, we have ALL done this. Sometimes you are knee deep into a conversation that just can’t be finished when you walk inside the store, however, to be loud and obnoxious is NOT the business. The other day my son and I were in Food Lion picking up a few groceries. I was strategically looking at the barbeque sauces. Reading the back of each bottle with the goal to find the one with the least amount of artificial ingredients and no high fructose corn syrup. Two young girls came into the store and were engaged in a phone conversation via face time with someone. “Ayeeee! It’s a hot girl summer girl! Turn up! Drink something!” I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Then, the worst happened, they strolled right down the sauce aisle where I casually stood. The loud laughter, yelling and inappropriate conversation almost sent me over the edge. Mind you, it’s a place and a time to turn up. Hell, I still partake in a light turn up periodically. As we age, many of us find perfect peace in the comfort of our home. We dread leaving home to visit the grocery store, hair salon, barbershop, riding public transportation, doctor’s office, etc due to this very reason. It’s instant anxiety. I understand that not all public places are quiet, but it would be a lot more enjoyable if we all respected each other’s peace in any environment. PS: It’s still a hot girl summer though, but can we leave the grocery store out of it? Thanks Megan Thee Stallion J

3. Call before you stop over someone’s house. As stated before, your home is your haven; therefore, if you see someone pop up in the driveway without a prior notice, proceed to ignore the doorbell. Now, back in the day, this may have been common as the development of technology left room for unexpected guests. Now in the 21stCentury, we communicate via phone or text. You can also send a dm, type it in a status update, or email the other party. There are too many ways to communicate a visit to show a lack of respect of popping up. The next time you even think this is a good idea, ask yourself if the other party possibly worked a long shift, has to cook dinner for their family, has extensive house chores or may be trying to find the energy to do homework with a young child. To selfishly barge into someone’s structured day without notice, even to drop off an item cannot be tolerated.

4. Never go to a party empty handed. Please do not be this person! I don’t know a single soul that is not on a budget. Even the wealthiest of people enjoy Wendys “4 for 4” and clips coupons. Any working, middle class individual knows that throwing any type of party can be costly. You have to brace yourself for the upcoming energy bill after your summer party for the amount of air condition that you provided the guests. Freeloaders are not welcome in 2019 and beyond. This shit stops TODAY! If you know someone who does this, it’s time to take his or her name off the guest list going forward. I sit back and am puzzled on how can people show up to an event held in the comfort of another’s home and just “show up.” Unless the host advises you that you don’t need to bring anything, that would be the only time to show up empty handed. It can be as small as a bag of ice or paper cups to as large as a sheet cake or a bucket of fried chicken. My go to is always a bottle of wine. You can never go wrong with that. Worst case scenario, no one drinks it and you finish the bottle yourself.

4. If you borrow money and it took you longer than expected to pay that person back, give a little interest. Okay, hear me out. Many of us have loaned a close person some money and they haven’t been able to pay us back in time. We thank God that we are able to help, but there is also that possibility that your own finances get messed up in the process. I have witnessed people getting a loan from someone who are awaiting their loan to be paid back. It could be as little as $30, which may be the monthly Internet bill. If we were all able to acquire a loan from major banks, we’d all be paying interest anyway.

5. Never put your phone on the table while eating a meal with a guest. I’ve struggled with this the most. I’ve learned that sacred time is just that, SACRED. After you’ve snap chatted a pic of your delicious plate of food, place your phone in a purse or pocket and engage. In the constant need of communication and the fast paced social media interactions, having the phone on the table screams that the phone is your guest, and not your physical one. Taking a break off technology for some old fashioned conversation is the new wave. As soon as the meal is over, then you can check the 56 likes and notifications you received on the pics of your crab legs.

6. Don’t try to build a romantic relationship over the text messages. Tinder, Bumble, POF, and the many other dating applications have made it very convenient to meet potential mates over the phone, but once you have had that icebreaker, what’s next? This is a lazy approach to continue to court someone you are very interested in via text. How would you know that you hate the way they chew without more in person interaction? I understand that sometimes many introverted people urge to date too. Being standoffish and contacting via text message will only cause the other party to look the other way when they find someone who starts actually making plans with them. Getting to know a person takes physical contact, not sex, just physical chemistry. It’s important to see if a person’s energy matches yours. Instead, call and say “I’m making breakfast, come by”, “ face time to ask them how their day went and analyze their facial expressions or plan a weekend date at the park to have some one on one. Actions are proven to show great results in terms of dating and for the life of God, STOP TEXTING “WYD” !

7. Stop asking a Black Woman if she is wearing a wig/weave. * sigh * The fact that I am saying this in 2019 is beyond me. I love to change my hair up, as it gives me a sense of empowerment. I grew up thinking my hair needed to be straightened and while there is nothing wrong with that, I have grown into acceptance of the hair that grows out of my scalp. I worked with a woman who always made a big deal about when I changed my hair. In our 9 am weekly meetings, she would broadcast to the entire staff that I have new hair. I felt all eyes on my scalp, many wondering if it was grown out of my scalp or not. This irritated the shit out of me. I am here to do a job, not to be discussed. Please do not ask a black woman, “Is all that your hair?” You can be another black woman and do this, making it unacceptable. Unless that woman puts the information out there for your curiosity, then please just don’t. Purchasing an additional hairpiece is not anyone’s business. A simple, “Your hair looks great!” compliment will suffice.

8. Never, Ever, Ever, Ever, EVER tell someone they look like they gained weight! This is self explainatory. I don’t have to go any further. Next person who tells me this, WILL get punched in the face.

Now, this is just a few and I am confident there are many many more etiquette practices that we can live by. If you know me personally, this is not a jab at you. It’s simple rules to live by. Let’s make the world a better and more caring place by practicing respect and love at all times. Now, let me go sage my entire house and myself. Time to meditate, pray and just observe. Happy Self Care Sunday!

#mercuryretrograde #pray #planetmercury #energy #planetearth #etiquette #mannerism #spiritual #astrology #mercury

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