#but i genuinely dont think hes the kind of guy who has a weekend free and goes 'lets go clubbing' even if lance invites him. not his style
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ranking voltron characters on how much they should have been at the cluuuuuuuuubbbbbbbbbbb:
lance: there has never been a character who should have been at the club more than lance mcclain. i know hes absolutely slaughtering it on the dance floor. leave him there for five minutes and hes already made three new friends in the smoking area and bought far too many drinks for the meager amount in his bank account. a man with a true clubbing spirit and its honestly cruel voltron stole that from him. 10/10
hunk: now hunks place at the proverbial club is a little less sure. i think hunk would enjoy going clubbing occasionally, especially if its lance he's going out with. but he likes clubs that aren't as intense with plenty of seating area. maybe a lovely jazz place. that being said, the club is less of a natural habitat for him and more of a fun once-in-a-while. 6/10
pidge: this is a little hard for me to visualize because pidge is like, fifteen. many years remain before she can even dream of the club. that being said i think pidge has the potential to have fun at a club but it definitely wouldn't be her first choice. she would prefer playing video games at home. 3/10
shiro: i dont think shiro went to the club much pre-kerberos mission, always very focused on his career yk. always the guy reminding everyone to drink water, always the guy you left your drink with cause he took it deathly serious. that being said, he was occasionally known to bust a poorly done move. he did have fun! during voltron he was too busy having ptsd flashbacks and leading a war to be at the club. post the whole voltron kerfuffle i do not think you would ever find him at the club. that is an old ass man let him have his tea and biscuts and leave him alone. hasnt he done enough. 5/10 pre-kerberos and 1/10 after.
allura: i think, for allura, the club is a complicated place. on one hand she is an ancient alien princess unaccustomed to human clubs and i cant imagine, her being a teenager and also (it needs to be stated again) a princess, she had much clubbing experience on altea. that being said i think she could learn. whether she could shake off the stress of being princess/diplomat/paladin/all of her other roles long enough to truly enjoy it is another question. her killer dance moves make up for her stressed out vibes though and she is ultimately just a girl who wants to have fun. 5/10
keith: absolutely fucking not. keith has whatever the opposite of a clubbers spirit is. keith being at the club would be a sign of deep spiritual unrest. get my boy OUT of there. 0/10
coran: 10/10 no explanation needed. please let that man into a human club and please let me watch the show
#jokes aside i think keith might have a small amount of fun at the club if he is absolutely smashed#but i genuinely dont think hes the kind of guy who has a weekend free and goes 'lets go clubbing' even if lance invites him. not his style#vld#voltron
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G) and H) for the psy main cast
G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most? H) What trait do you admire most? this is gonna be long af it's going under the cut
Psy G) hmmmm well they have this like teenagerism of thinking things are cringe, which is annoying. they get embarrassed about their interests and miss out on genuine connections because they can't let anyone know they care about things. H) what DO i admire.... hmm well i think it is so cool that they can and do just steal shit all the time lol i think thats pretty awesome. there's also some stuff from their past i admire them for that we'll be seeing soon ;) as u know, juice, lol
Melody G) think it's annoying how she feels like she needs to be perfect. she's better about it than she was as a teen, but she still cares a bit too much about what other people think of her... its ok, girl, you dont need to please everyone, in fact its impossible!!! its going to be ok <3 H) everything else <3 haha! but no something i really admire about her and like, look up to her for is her sense of leadership! she's not only a good pride leader, planning events and making it fun to be there, but she's also like the leader of the friend group. she's the one who hits up the group chat like "hey lets do something together this weekend!!!" like she's holding it all together. it would all fall apart without her. i wish i could be like that!
Jett G) oh god i HATE how argumentative it is online. like i would have this guy blocked on tumblr if it was real because he has a terrible habit of responding to things that make him angry. he's gotten a lot better at ignoring things and putting down the phone since his teen years, but it will still type out paragraphs of discourse on tumblr dot com because he has OPINIONS that he feels MUST be HEARD. go touch grass, dude 😒 it's not worth it H) it is unapologetically itself!! hes so awesome!!!! like he doesnt give a shit that his coworkers think hes annoying or weird, thats literally THEIR problem and it's not gonna tone down its whimsy for those fools. that's so admirable, i go full Normie Mode in public lol
Tate G) HOW TO CHOOSE. all of his traits bother me! lmao! but i think that worst is that he's rarely thinking about the feelings of others. he's incredibly self-serving, and only really cares about himself because he thinks he's the only person that should really matter in his life. he has an 'its everyone for themselves' mentality going on 🙄 H) (through gritted teeth) i suppose i admire his confidence. i mean think about the fucking gusto it takes to sit in the cafeteria with a sign in front of u that says "free psychic readings" and just bullshit your way through it. incredible. he's also the type of guy who goes around at parties and just fearlessly chats up absolutely everyone. thats insane i wish i could do that.
Guy okay this is interesting because my answer for both G and H are the same for Guy!!! it's that he is incredibly forgiving! on one hand, he gets himself hurt by giving people the benefit of the doubt too much, and he always gives out second chances. but on the other hand, it is genuinely amazing how, even though it has gotten him hurt multiple times throughout his life, he's STILL willing to forgive people over and over again, and give them as many chances as it takes. he's willing to self-sacrifice to help other people grow! it bothers me because i want to see him care about himself and his own needs more, but i also admire it, because i wish i had that kind of forgiveness in my heart for everyone, y'know? its like aahggghhh why are you doing this to yourself but also awww 🥺 duuuuude 🥺 ur right dude maybe there IS good in everyone.. maybe everyone CAN change... if u believe....
#asks#isjuice#psy comic#cats ocs#psy quizon#melody paramore#jett ash blood shadow#tate baker#guy magtibay#psy asks
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I'm simping hard for Mason and Bailey, so could we get mutual non-con with them? Also maybe with the person forcing the non-con degrading m!Mason and or m!Bailey about forcing them breed f!pc?
Like maybe Leighton wants to watch the hot swim teacher pipe that pretty little thing that wont let him photograph their gentiles, so he threatens Mason's job if they dont fuck in the locker room so he can watch. He knows pc is Mason's favorite, that Mason might actually have caught feelings. He's seen them hanging out outside school.
Or for Bailey, it could be that someone was pissed they couldn't buy you since you were paying your dues, or maybe Bailey just didn't like their vibe. They hold pc and their pissed off caretaker at gun point and make them screw. Bonus on the forced breeding kink, since bailey def doesnt want kids, and I cant imagine any PC wanting to put another kid in his care.
Sorry for the long ask 😅 Your writing is so good and you capture the characters so, so well. It really gets my imagination going.
Dear gods anon this haunted me from the moment I read it you're so smart I love you.
NSFW below (tw for noncon, loss of virginity)
Bailey
Waking up tied to a chair and gagged isn't exactly how Bailey wants to start his weekend, but here he is.
It had been a simple task. Drop off some money at Quinn's office. That's all.
So when he'd been hit over the head and knocked out, it had been rather unexpected.
He can see a man in a tailored suit looking at him and he immediately recognises who it is.
The guy was with that drug gang Bailey had seen to a couple months ago. Saving you from them, his favourite pretty brat.
Trust you to get in drug trouble over a fucking maths competition.
"You're awake. Good. We can talk about how you owe me," the man says. Yeah cause Bailey could do a lot of talking right now.
The door opens, two henchmen dragging in a girl with a bag over her head.
Bailey knows it's you, can recognise your voice as you whimper in fear.
Someone that had been standing behind Bailey's chair comes forward and starts to pull the caretaker's pants down. He can't fight back, tensing his arms to check how tight the bindings are.
The person covers their hands in some weird clear slime they then proceed to rub on his freed cock. It's cold and tingles.
"This one's your most requested right? Always pays her debts though. It's cause she's a virgin isn't it?" The boss questions as whatever that salve was kicks in, stimulating Bailey till he's hard as a rock.
The bag is ripped from your head, your eyes scrunching up at the light. You look so scared and helpless.
"Well you're about to drive her value right down with your own cock, mate," the boss nods to his men and you're brought forwards, skirt of your school uniform ripped up and pantes cut off with a knife.
You start sobbing and begging as you're picked up and your pussy is angled so that they can push you onto Bailey's cock.
Bailey is still. Staring straight ahead, trying not to let the rage he feels show.
He shudders as your body is pushed onto his cock, having to admit its a nice tight fit. God you would have been worth so much.
You scream, pain from being taken for the first time with so little preparation adding to the stress of the whole situation.
The henchmen holding you lift and drop you onto your caretaker's length at a steady pace. You feel no pleasure in the situation, just deep sorrow and an itching need to run.
But you can only whine out "I'm sorry," to Bailey, unable to look at him in the eyes.
It feels good. You feel good - you feel wonderful and Bailey can't help it when his balls start to feel tighter.
Can't help it when a tingle grows up his spine.
Can't help his hips jolting up the tiniest bit to meet you, needing more friction so he can cum.
"Oh and one last thing. We injected the girl with some hormone treatment to make her more likely to get pregnant. Good luck selling a used up whore then," the boss finally interjects, but its too late.
Oh fuck no.
Bailey is already on the verge as the man speaks, ejaculated deep inside your pussy since the henchmen so kindly push you down when they notice his body spasm.
The men let you go, your arms coming to wrap around Bailey's shoulders as you cry into his neck.
"A few more rounds, I think. Let's get our money's worth," it's only now Bailey sees the camera pointed at the two of you.
"This time the girl will move herself," a gun is brought out and you wrap yourself tighter around Bailey's body, seeking comfort. You're still sat on his cock, that hasn't gotten soft even after his orgasm. Just what was that salve?
He's going to kill them when he gets out of this rope.
Mason
He can't belive he's doing this.
Can't believe he has your cunt in his mouth, tongue deep between the folds as he licks away.
He wishes it were under any other circumstances.
Leighton had always rubbed him the wrong way, but Mason loved swimming. Loved teaching, this was his perfect job.
And you were his perfect student.
So kind and understanding, so innocent compared to the horrors he dealt with most classes.
You'd been so shy when you'd caught him swimming naked, but had accepted it without judgement.
You had been lovely to talk to at the pond.
You clung to his hair so tightly as he ate you out, moans echoing through the locker room.
Leighton had threatened his job. Had told him he wanted a video of that good one getting ruined by a handsome man like Mason. Wanted to see the pretty thing impaled on his cock.
And it worked. The threat worked. But at least Mason was the one corrupting you, he reasoned. At least it was someone who genuinely cared for your wellbeing.
You were shaking like a leaf when he had explained the situation, looking between him and the headmaster, off the to the side holding a camera.
"If you don't do it, I'll send every university you apply to personal letters telling them what a whore you are," Leighton added, and you reluctantly let Mason strip your uniform and kiss up your thighs.
"She's wet enough," Leighton calls from behind the camera, admiting the flushed pink dusting your cheeks. Forced, yes, but your were enjoying this, weren't you? What a little harlot.
Mason frees his length from his swimming trunks, never having the chance to change from his last lesson.
Bending your legs up so they're pressed to your chest, he gently kisses your forehead.
"It's going to be okay," another kiss, "just breath nice and steady for me." It's the same soothing tone he used to teach you.
You take in a deep breath as Mason pushes himself in, inch by inch. Both of you try to ignore Leighton moving to get a better angle.
Soon enough, your teacher is balls deep inside of your virgin pussy, the two of you breathing raggedly while staring into each other's eyes.
You both look upset.
"Well fuck her then," the headmaster tuts, and Mason starts to thrust.
Your mouth falls open, an expression so lewd and lovely the teacher wishes he could have seen it in another situation.
Wishes he could have waited for your graduation and asked you out on a proper date.
Not lose himself in your cunt, on camera for the pervert blackmailing you both.
And he does lose himself, can't stop his hips from hammering away at the warm, tight, wet heat that sucks him in like it was made for him.
Mason can't last this long. He brings a hand to start rubbing circles around your clit, eliciting more moans and whimpers.
You're so pretty, so good for him.
"M-mason, sir," you yelp as he hits a nice spot, and his breath catches in his chest.
Leaning in, he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing.
Your walls tighten around his shaft, signifying your end coming soon and Mason increases the pressure on your clit.
You milk his cock so perfectly he cums right when you do, filling you up to the brim with seed and aware it was spilling onto the bench below.
He can't bring himself to let you go when he's done, has to keep you covered until Leighton puts that camera away.
"Excellent. Now, try to get used to each other, I won't be satisfied with only one tape."
#degrees of lewdity bailey#degrees of lewdity mason#degrees of lewdity#spill your guts#anonymous#tw noncon
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enemies to lovers (but not really) - yoo kihyun
genre: angst + smutty af
requested? nope
word count: 7.7k !!!
warnings: cursing, alcohol mentions, the smut is dirty af i can’t put it all in a warning oop
A/N: i made kihyun basically a bully and a giant asshole but ik he’s a soft baby and a lovely boy but i just have a lot of pent up feelings towards him, i can’t admit my feelings for him so i just use hatred as an excuse okay its a personal problem. pls dont hate me!!
You couldn’t get rid of him no matter how hard you tried. It was hard enough that he was involved in your close friend group and you had to see his face often, but he also genuinely enjoyed seeing you get so heated over the mere sight of him.
“For once, for once can he be working when we hang out or I don’t know… maybe just not be invited?” You groan, angrily looking out the window of Changkyun’s car with your arms firmly crossed.
“Look we can’t just not invite him, he’s still our friend. It’s not our fault neither of you can stand each other, you’re lucky either of you get invited to these things do you really think any of us want to deal with the never ending bickering from you two?” Changkyun shook his head, dreading the thought of all the arguing he’s going to have to deal with tonight.
“He starts it! You really expect me to just take his little digs at me?” You huff.
“He only does it because he knows for sure you will fight back; I’ve told you this how many times? Hell, he’s told you that himself yet you still give him the reaction he wants, if you just ignored him he’d stop” “I really doubt that” You mumble, staring at the road ahead. Changkyun never beats around the bush with you, but that is why he was your best friend, both as feisty and fiery as each other. It is probably a bad dynamic since you both just feed off each others intense vibes and don’t hold back with others who aren’t either of you, who often can’t handle such honesty and bluntness. Most times you love Kyun being honest with you, but times like this; when talking about the person who makes your blood boil more than anyone else, you really hated it. Maybe tonight you will take Kyun’s advice and ignore Kihyun, just to prove him wrong when Kihyun continues to terrorise you and he can finally get all the blame he deserves.
As soon as you got out of the car you could see your group of boys through the big window at the front of the restaurant, sitting on the table right next to the window as per usual. Thank god they were all talking and too preoccupied in looking at the menus arguing over what they were going to order to notice you and Kyun walking in. There is seriously only 1 whole brain cell in this goddamn group and it belongs to you. Without you they wouldn’t get anywhere. You hide behind Kyun as you enter, both so Kihyun won’t see you and pester you before you even get to the table and so you can see where he is sitting before you reach the table and plan how you will avoid him as much as you can. You and Kyun reach the table and stand there silent for at least 30 seconds before any of them notice you, they were really going at it between themselves. Sitting on the wall side was Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon & Hyungwon. Facing the rest of the restaurant and their backs to you and Kyun right now was Shownu and Wonho, sitting on the side closest to the window with the two free seats for you and Kyun next to them at the end of the table. Finally, Hyungwon turns around from watching the other three boys argue next to him to see you and Kyun standing there, staring at them with the biggest look of disapproval on your faces. He smiles and nods, nobody else noticing you. Minhyuk, Kihyun & Jooheon were all arguing over what food they wanted to get and Shownu was asking them, practically begging them all to just settle on either one meal or one meat option each for the barbecue otherwise it would end up being too much money and not all of it would be eaten anyways. Wonho was just disassociating on his phone. Kyun clears his throat, still no response, so he just sighs and pulls out the seat next to Shownu, leaving you to sit on the end of the table across from Hyungwon. He knew you would appreciate that, wanting to be as far away from Kihyun as possible, but two people down from you on the other side was still too close. The other 3 boys on the other side all look up when they hear the chairs being pulled out, nod at you both and go back to their food issues.
“Look, you three need to shut up for a moment and we need to ask these two what they would like now. So you three need to settle your issues ASAP otherwise this will just end up like last time” Shownu demands, tone very clearly desperate. “I’m okay with anything, I just want food” you say, which earns a smirk and a loud nose exhale from Kihyun, whatever that was meant to mean you had no idea and you didn’t really care to know. You didn’t even look his way, focusing on the menu Shownu handed to Kyun.
“Same for me, as long as you get some kind of beef for the barbecue I don’t care. Also as long as you three stop arguing so I can eat quicker” Kyun says, handing the menu back to Shownu. The other three pout and huff, settling on a meal and a barbecue option amongst each other. You’re rather shocked Kihyun hasn’t made a single dig at you yet, this is a new record for him, but you put it down to him being more concerned about his empty stomach for the time being. Hopefully when the food arrives he’s too busy scoffing food down his throat to be bothering you.
As per usual, Wonho ended up being the barbecue dad as he put the first load of meat onto the barbecue the sound of the satisfying sizzle filling your ears and everyone was happily digging into the dishes. The last dish arrives and you gasp in excitement and try to quickly finish your current food so you can grab some of the new one before all the boys finish it first with their bottomless stomachs. “Woah, relax and stop acting like a pig. The food won’t go anywhere” Kihyun laughs, widening his eyes at you in a mocking way.
“Kihyun what the fuck? Mind your own business and back off, dude” Kyun snaps.
‘Ah, here we go’ you think to yourself. You feel that pang in your stomach, wanting so badly to snap back at him instantly but you remember the car ride and decide to stay quiet. For some reason what he said this time actually hurts you. Why? You’re not sure, you hate it, you feel weak. You feel like running to the bathroom to hide the hurt that you’re pretty sure is showing clearly on your face, especially since you usually snap back instantly. You ignore Kihyun, don’t even glance at him and just continue to grab yourself a nice amount of the new dish and place it into your little bowl, trying your best to eat it without looking too upset. A few seconds later, Wonho finishes cooking the beef and takes everyone’s bowls and gives them a fair amount of it before putting the next load of meat on.
“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks you quietly, leaning across the table. “Yeah I’m fine, just really tired from all my classes today” You give him a soft smile and a nod, appreciative that he actually checked up you even though you hate that it’s clear you are upset.
“Ah okay, I was worried that you we- “
“How has everyone’s week been?” Minhyuk yells from his end of the table, largely exaggerating the loudness of the restaurant chatter and music.
“We’re all University students, how interesting could any of our weeks have been?” Jooheon replies, beef stuffed in his mouth. “Well I’m sorry I’m just trying to make fucking conversation since none of you have made an attempt to” Minhyuk snaps, gesturing his hands out to everyone around the table and then clasping them together.
“Jooheon are you trying to imply that you actually go to class and spend your time outside of class actually studying?” Wonho says, not even glancing up as he turns over all the meat. Everyone on the table cracks up laughing.
“Hey! I was not implying anything, even if when I don’t go to classes; which I do most of the time by the way, I just stay home which still isn’t interesting… and I do study!” Jooheon leans back against the wall, arms firmly crossed with a grumpy pout on his face.
“It’s okay Joo, I think staying home and watching Netflix… or studying and going to class like you apparently do, is a lot more interesting and entertaining than being one of those students that goes out all the time and constantly gets drunk, high and is basically brain-dead 24/7” You say, stuffing the meat in your mouth into your cheeks.
“You can’t really say that when you’ve never been to even ONE party since you’ve started at University, you wouldn’t have any idea of how it’s ‘not fun’ or what fun even is. You just go to class every day and study and then stay cooped up in your dorm every weekend like a complete loser,” Kihyun doesn’t even breathe once, “oh and please, don’t talk with your mouth full”. Minhyuk whacks the back of Kihyun’s head, looking at you with sorrow. You felt your blood pressure rising, wishing so badly you could split his chopsticks in half and shove them up his ass. However, you just sat there looking down at your now empty bowl trying to hide how red your face now was and your throat closing up, feeling like you were going to cry out of frustration. If he made one more mean comment you were certain you were going to snap, and by that you mean snapping those chopsticks in half and sticking them where the sun doesn’t shine; which is absolutely nowhere near Kihyun.
You guys had finished all the food and were now having a nice catch up, telling each other the funny happenings that had occurred within the last month and a bit that you hadn’t met up properly as a whole group. The conversation though, had drifted to Changkyun, Wonho & Minhyuk ganging up on Jooheon and telling you all stories about the embarrassing things Joo did in high school.
“I cannot believe you did that!! When you were Vice Captain?! In front of the entire school board?!” You screamed.
“Don’t forget that it was a whole school assembly, too! He really just whipped out a little impromptu ‘hip hop dance routine’ in front of the whole school and the school board, you should’ve seen the look of pure horror on the Vice Principal’s face. He got in so much trouble for that and almost got his position taken away” Minhyuk said with a shit-eating grin.
“You’re the one that promised me if I did that you’d pay for my lunch everyday for the rest of the semester, it’s your fault!” Joo whines.
“And I did didn’t I? So why are you complaining?” Minhyuk sasses. “BECAUSE YOU’RE SITTING HERE TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT AN EMBARRASSING THING I DID BUT IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME DO IT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE I DID IT OUT OF MY OWN ACCORD!”
“Because it’s a funny story, and I didn’t force you to, you had the choice to say no”
“NO YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHOICE STOP LY- “
“Okay enough you two children” Shownu interjects. If he didn’t stop them now this would continue for way too long, they’re worse than you and Kihyun.
“Oh my gosh wait, Wonho! What about that time you told Minhyuk you’d give him $50 if he licked the swing-set” Changkyun gasps with the sudden memory.
“Wow, yes! The chain handle part”, Wonho laughs “and he actually did it and ended up in the nurse’s office because he instantly got really sick and had to stay home for the rest of week!”. Everyone bursts into laughter.
“Hey I don’t regret a thing, that $50 was worth it. I bought some sick gym shoes with that money” Minhyuk smiles. You were in tears with laughter.
“Man I wish I knew you guys in high school, you seem like you were even funnier and dumber back then” You cry.
“Hey, me and Kyun weren’t and aren’t dumb it was and is just those two” Wonho acts offended. You really do wish you knew them back then; it would’ve definitely made your dull high school life a lot brighter. You’re grateful you know them now of course, they make your stressful, overwhelming University life a lot more bearable. You and Kyun were both Literature students, Minhyuk, Hyungwon & Shownu all Dance & Performance students and then Joo & Wonho were Music Production students, where they met Kihyun as he is a Music Performance student and they work together a lot. The boys that already knew each other from school brought along their friends that they met in class who didn’t have friends to hang out with yet, and then you all became a close nit group and all friends with each other separately… well, except for two of you.
“I don’t know Wonho, I’d say you’re also pretty dumb” You say slowly with a sneaky grin, “are we not going to address that very dumb, embarrassing thing you accidentally did in class no less than what, two weeks ago?”. He looks at you confused.
“Remember, Jooheon messaged the group chat instantly screaming out of secondhand embarrassment?” You push.
“Oh- OH GOD yeah we aren’t going to address it remember I asked specifically for nobody to ever talk about it again that’s why we haven’t spoke about it and won’t” Wonho blushes, “it was very traumatic for me and I removed it from my brain and now you’ve reminded me and now I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight”.
“But you admit that you are pretty dumb, right? At least sometimes” You laugh.
“Are you serious? You’re straight making fun of him for something that he seems genuinely humiliated by and didn’t ever want to talk about again. That’s so rude why would you joke about something like that?” Kihyun snaps at you before Wonho can reply. You feel that pang in your stomach again, genuinely taken aback.
“Dude chill, I know she was just playing around. I was also joking, it’s not that deep” Wonho replies, glaring at Kihyun. You slam your hands on the table and stand up, staring at him like you’re about to stab him with the barbecue scissors. The rest of the boys stare at you in shock, expecting you to rip into him. Instead of doing that like you wanted to, you just turn around and walk out the door of the restaurant, quickly wiping away the tears that are falling out of your eyes.
You sat on the bench outside the restaurant, far away from the window where the boys sat so they couldn’t see you. Your elbows are propped up on your thighs, with with your face resting in your palms and you’re staring at the ground. Your tears are dried by this point but you know if you think too hard they will fall again; which your brain keeps trying to do but you refuse to let it, you will just think of nothing. Your phone keeps vibrating and you know its probably one of the boys - most likely Kyun, trying to text or call you but you really don’t want to talk to any of them right now. You’ll just get the bus or train home later. Suddenly, you feel someone’s hand on your back as you see them sit down next to you. It was Changkyun.
“Hey” He says quietly. You don’t reply.
“Just so you know, before you even got out the door we all let Kihyun have it. For real, none of us are okay with what he was doing tonight it was ridiculous and not okay at all” Kyun grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You reciprocate.
“He was a straight bully tonight; it wasn’t even just the typical little petty digs they were actually mean, especially since you weren’t fighting back. I’m sorry for saying that he only does it because you react, you should’ve defended yourself” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.
“I- I tried to but, for some reason I just didn’t… I couldn’t. I wanted to tear him to shreds but my body just wouldn’t follow through” You choked out, tears welling up in your eyes again.
“It’s okay, just know that none of us boys are okay with what he did tonight and I mean you saw us defending you when you were there. We’ve made sure he knows that he won’t ever be allowed to come out with us again if he’s going to pull that again” Kyun looks into your eyes, making sure you know that he’s serious. You smile up at him, feeling so cared for and loved as a tear falls from your eye. It was a happy tear. Kyun wipes it off your cheek with his free hand.
“Come on, I’ll drive you home” Kyun stands up in front of you and helps you up.
“Thank you, Kyun”, You say, looking up at him for a few seconds before wrapping your arms around his torso “I know we joke around a lot and fight, and I know you find affection gross but, I really do love you a lot and I’m so grateful for you” you silently cry into his chest. Thank god he’s wearing black.
“It’s okay, I love you too. Also I don’t find it gross, alright, just too much of it but at times like this it’s nice” He says. You giggle as he softly pokes your cheek, keeping his hand locked with yours as he walks you to his car.
Changkyun had actually convinced you to come to a party, you don’t know why he wanted you to go, but he did. All the boys were going to be there why did he need you there? He said it was just to get you out of the house so you can clear your mind and forget about your worries for a bit, but you weren’t convinced that was the only reason why, but it was all he would tell you when you would press for an answer. It’s not that you didn’t like parties - you did, it was more the people that were going to be there, doing drugs and all the guys that will try and get in your pants just for the sake of it rather than actually being interested in you in any way. Anyways, you decided to go for the reason he said, just to get yourself out of the house and you hadn’t had a good party in a while and a reason to get all dressed up (totally nothing to do with the reason that you knew Kihyun would be there and you wanted to prove to him that you can have a fun time). You planned your outfit in your head for days in advance, and you were so happy when it actually looked great on you and by some miracle your makeup cooperated with you and came out beautifully, too. You look hot, you’d 100% fuck yourself if you were someone else. You actually feel good about yourself and excited for this party, it really is a miracle. You weren’t going to let anything… or anyone ruin your night. You’re spritzing yourself with perfume when you here the beep of a car outside, you immediately know it’s Changkyun. You grab your bag and do one last look over of yourself in the mirror; taking a quick selfie or two, or three, and then quickly running out of the door while Changkyun beeps at you to hurry up. You run outside and while you’re trying to lock your door properly Jooheon starts beeping the car horn repeatedly, you flip him off as you watch him start laughing his ass off in the front seat. Once you lock your door you quickly walk to the back door, hearing Jooheon still laughing before you even open the door. Shownu gets out of the car so you can sit in the middle.
“You’re such a child! it really isn’t that funny” You frown, climbing into the middle seat. Jooheon lets out a ‘hoo’ as he wipes a tear away. “I think it was hilarious” Jooheon breathes, relaxing back into the passenger seat.
“She’s right, it really wasn’t” Shownu agrees as he gets back in the seat next to you and shuts the door. Wonho and Changkyun both agree with you and Shownu. “Fuck you guys” Jooheon pouts. Changkyun turns up the radio and reverses out of your driveway. You were really excited for this party.
The music was blasting; you could feel every part of your body vibrate with the bass. It had been about 2 hours since you arrived and you were pretty tipsy, borderline drunk. You had lost sight of any of your friends, the boys, classmates or friends you made literally 5 minutes ago at this party. You’re lost in the music and the tingly, happy feeling that was overtaking your body, you’re dancing the night away, along with any worry you had about anything in your life prior to coming to this party. At least you were, until you feel someone tap you on your shoulder; which you ignored because you thought you were imagining it, and if it was real you wanted them to leave you alone because you were having fun. Unfortunately, it is real and they keep persisting so you turn around angrily. You immediately scrunch your face up in disgust. It’s Kihyun.
“I need to talk to you” He slurs, grabbing onto your shoulder for support as he almost trips onto you.
“No you don’t! Fuck off” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, immediately smack his hand off you. You storm off, Kihyun following behind you.
“Please! It’s important, please just let me do it I can’t wait until next month when I next see you to talk to you, please” He begs, yelling in your ear over the music. “Then don’t. Simple” You snap back. You walk fast, pushing through the crowd of people struggling to make it through them without tripping over, the effects of your last drink starting to push you past tipsy. You’re looking for even one of the boys or just anyone to help get Kihyun away from you, which is really hard in this state and with Kihyun hot on your trail trying to plead with you. You see Minhyuk watching a game of beer pong; cheering and being even more loud than usual. You quickly run up to him and pull on his sleeve.
“Minhyuk please help me”, you look at him with big puppy eyes “Kihyun keeps saying he needs to talk to me, he won’t leave me alone and is practically harassing me, please help”.
He looks down at you, then behind you to Kihyun, then back to you.
“Oh yeah, we all told him he should talk to you”, your face changes to one of utter confusion “you should listen to him, he wants to apologise because he genuinely feels horrible. You don’t have to accept it but I think just listening to him would be good for the both of you”. You look offended, how could the boys just do that to you? After Kihyun did that to you and made you feel like complete and utter shit? Why would you ever want to listen to him or talk to him again?
“You know that I’m always honest with you, I understand why you don’t want to talk to him or listen to him – I wouldn’t want to either if I were you, but I really think it would be good for both of you to talk out your differences and it would be better for all of us, too. As someone who loves drama, I really want the both of you to just talk shit out and at least be civil. You don’t have to forgive him but just listen to what he has to say, please” Minhyuk slurs, looking you dead in the eyes. The fact he was being so wise in this intoxicated was really saying something. You sighed, he was right. Even if you just ended up hating him more, maybe he was actually genuinely sorry and would stop being an asshole from now on. You may not forgive him, not for a while, but at least you could possibly work towards being… friends?? You turn to Kihyun, seeing him looking pretty pathetic looking at you with such pleading eyes. You take his hand and guide him through the crowd in attempt to find any kind of empty room further away from the pounding music. You doubted you would have any luck though.
Even a wardrobe would suffice but you were really struggling to find an empty room of some sort. If there wasn’t already someone passed out on the bed, throwing up in the bathroom there was a couple (or more) getting up to frisky business – and obviously you couldn’t ignore any of those situations to talk to Kihyun without disturbing what was going on in the room… or disturbing yourself with the latter. You go upstairs and most of the rooms are again, taken, but you finally come across one at the end of the hall that isn’t. You half sigh, half yell a ‘finally’ and drag him in the room, locking the door behind you. You’re so relieved to be able to finally let go of Kihyun’s hand, turning to stand in front of him with your arms crossed over your chest.
“Well?” You gesture for him to start; he just looks at you with a very vacant expression on his face and you sigh in annoyance.
“Are you going to tell me what you begged me to listen to you for? This is your only chance and I suggest you don’t waste it” You tap your foot, already getting impatient. He perks up like a little puppy, suddenly remembering what he was here for.
“Oh, right. I-uh, just wanted to apologise for the other night. I was a real asshole and there’s no excuse for the things I said and did, it wasn’t even banter or petty things like it usually is it was straight bullying and I feel horrible when I remember it. I don’t even know why I kept going after you didn’t react or respond the first time, but it doesn’t matter; point is, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, sorry” Kihyun rambles, slurring and struggling to find the right words.
“Okay. Are you happy now? That I listened to… that? Will you stop harassing me? Can I leave now?” You say barely even acknowledging his apology, you really did find it pathetic and couldn’t bare to be alone in a room with him any longer. You started to walk towards the door but Kihyun stopped you.
“Are you kidding me?” He questions angrily, grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving. You frown and smack his hand off you.
“What?” You snap.
“That’s it? You can’t even acknowledge anything I said?” He says, seeming actually hurt. “Well I for sure am not forgiving you, what else do you want me to do, Kihyun? Because I really can’t even stand being alone in this room with you right now” You try to push past him but he won’t budge.
“You don’t have to forgive me; I just want to know you actually listened to me” He says surprisingly calm. He looks like a kicked puppy and you feel so fucking strange seeing Kihyun look anything but cocky and angry for once in his life.
“You’re being ridiculous, Kihyun. Of course I listened to you why would I bring you all this way, struggle to find a room for us to use for 5 seconds to not listen to you at all? Especially if seeing you so desperate to apologise to me brings me such joy?” You say it as if you were explaining it to a child, dragging out that last sentence especially longer. You see Kihyun’s expression changing to the usual one of anger, god you’re getting so much enjoyment of having the higher ground right now.
“Not to mention”, you walk closer to his face “that ‘apology’ was nothing short of just, plain pathetic”. Using your finger to put the quotations around ‘apology’, you have the biggest smirk on your face. Kihyun runs his tongue over his cheeks as he steps closer to you, inches from your face. You don’t cower one bit, in fact you look him dead in the eyes as you chuckle.
“Pathetic?” He questions, looking down at you.
“Hopeless, pitiful, miserable, plain fucking shit or whatever you wish to call it, really” You reply, not even trying to hide your enjoyment. You barely finished your sentence before Kihyun turns you around and slams you into the wall, arms either side of your head. He did it so quickly you’re actually shocked, especially since he’s drunk and his reaction times are meant to be slower.
“You’re really, really fucking pushing it” He whispers, spacing out his words to make sure you’re perfectly understanding how angry you’re making him. “And? As if you’re going to do anything about it” You scoff, arms crossed over your chest. You refuse to show any sign of intimidation, though you actually are quite shocked right now. His gaze doesn’t move from your face, he’s breathing heavily and you hate this tension surrounding you both right now, its silent apart from the screaming of everyone outside and the muffle of the music downstairs. You see Kihyun’s gaze fall to your lips for a second, so brief that you wondered if it was even real or if you were making it up.
“See, I knew it. You’re not going to do anything because you’re just as pathetic as that apology wa-” Before you can even finish your sentence Kihyun slams his lips into yours. Your eyes are wide, part of you wants to push him away but an even bigger part of you refuses to back down. You slide on your hands to his hair, entangling your fingers in it and pulling harshly, he moans in response. He deepens the kiss, a hand on your neck and a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him. You slide your tongue against his lip and he responds by sliding his tongue in your mouth, refusing to let you take even the tiniest bit of dominance. You bite and pull on his lip as you pull away, breathless. You lean your head back on the wall as he starts leaving kisses along your jaw, moving down to your neck. Your hand is still pulling on his hair and your other one is latched onto his shoulder. His hands move down to your ass, squeezing it.
“You better not leave hickeys, we’re not high schoolers” You whisper. He lets out a scoff as he moves his hands down to your thighs, signalling for you to wrap your legs around him. You do so, kissing down his neck to his collarbones as he moves you to the bed. He throws you onto the sheets, you open your legs as he slides his body in between them. You start making out, even more heated than before, your lips and tongues moving in sync. Kihyun moves his hand up to your hair, pulling on it as you whine and press your hips up into his, he grinds down against you in response. You slide your hands under his shirt, digging your nails into his chest and he groans as he continues grinding into you harshly. His hand that is on your hip slides down your thigh, moving it up and around his back as he pulls away from the kiss, breathless and he sits up to slide his shirt off. For fucks sake, why does he have to be so attractive yet so annoying.
“Are you going to actually do anything or just continue to play around?” You pant, staring up at him. Before he can answer or do anything in response you flip the both of you over so you’re now straddling him. You roll your hips over his crotch a few times, feeling his bulge very prominently through your panties under your skirt. He tries to flip you back over but you put your hands on his shoulders and give him a look that makes him fall back and give up. You slide your shirt off, revealing your cute, lacy bra that you always wore to these kind of occasions in case you did get some action and would look at that? This time you actually did. You give Kihyun a passionate kiss on the lips and pull away quickly to start kissing down his jaw agonisingly slow, he accidentally lets a little whimper slip as his eyes flutter shut which makes you giggle softly, he’s actually cute when he’s needy. You then move to his neck, then his chest, then his stomach all the way down past his belly button and stop at the hem of his jeans. He snaps his eyes open as he looks down at you with dark eyes and you just bite your lip and give a bratty smile in response. You don’t break eye contact as you undo his belt, pulling it out and throwing it on the ground to then unzip his jeans and yank them off. You walk your fingers up his thigh, stopping just before you reach his bulge.
“Stop teasing or I swear to go-” He growls, you started palming him through his boxers before he even finished his sentence and he ended it in the cutest whine you’ve ever heard. You smile as his hips snap up instinctively at even the tiniest bit of friction as you slowly palm him, curling your fingers to fit around his shaft. He has one hand gripping the sheets and another around the headboard, he’s trying to keep his hips still but is really struggling to not roll against your hand. You decide he’s had enough teasing for now and stop palming him to pull down the waistband of his boxers, pulling them all the way off. His dick snaps up as soon as the boxers are off it, hitting his stomach and he grunts at the sudden contact of air against his throbbing cock. Once his boxers are discarded, you wrap your hand around the bottom of his shaft and start to pump him, flicking your wrist as your hand moves up and down. Kihyun immediately snaps his hips up, breathing out a ‘fuck’ as he watches you through half close eyelids. You hate to admit it but, he looks so pretty right now. Precum is already starting to leak out of his tip, so you bring your mouth to it and slowly lick it off with the tip of your tongue. Kihyun throws his head back with a choked moan as you slowly circle your tongue around his tip, you place your lips around and suck harshly, never stopping the movement of your hand. His hand gripping the sheet starts feeling around for your head, gripping onto your hair and trying to push you down so you’d take him in your mouth.
“Keep being pushy and I will stop everything and walk out of this room” You snap. He immediately loosens his grip on your hair and you go back to sucking on his tip again, flattening your tongue as you slowly take him in your mouth. Kihyun grunts and bites his lip hard, trying to stop any kind of moan from slipping out. He looks down at you as you’re bobbing your head up and down, bringing your hand up to meet your lips as you pump him at the same time.
“You know, if you weren’t so annoying I’d say you look so hot right now” He says, struggling to speak without it coming out in a moan. You roll your eyes, he was very dumb to say that because you are literally sucking his dick and could bite it off at any moment… but he also implied that you look hot, which sent tingles right down to your clit. You removed your hands and moved your mouth all the way down to the bottom of his shaft, almost gagging as he hit the back of your throat. His grip on your hair tightens again and he guides your head up and down, your grip hard on his thighs as you try not to gag. You’ve hollowed out your cheeks and flattened out your tongue as you suck along with your head movements.
“I’m so close” Kihyun breathes, the muscles in his lower stomach visibly tightening. You remove his hand from your hair so that you can fasten your pace, bringing your hand back in to pump him again. He throws his back, cursing repeatedly and you feel his dick twitch in your mouth. Right as he reaches the peak of his high you take him out of your mouth and remove your hand, sitting up on his leg to watch and relish in his agony. His head snaps up as his face darkens immediately.
“Oh baby, you are going to regret that” Kihyun coos, the way ‘baby’ rolls off his tongue unsettles you and causes a very hot feeling in your core.
“Don’t call me baby” You command, returning his dark gaze. He sits up and pushes you down on the bed, your head hanging off the end of the bed. He reaches his hand down under your skirt, pressing his index finger hard along your slit; applying the most pressure where your clit is. You bite your lip, whining a little.
“Wow you’re already so wet and I’ve done absolutely nothing” He says cockily. “If you’re really going to be this cocky already you better be bloody good” You snap, rolling your hips against his finger. He chuckles and nods, fair argument. He starts to rub your clit through your panties, making you gasp at the sudden movement. He uses his other hand to unclasp your bra and slide it off your arms, he throws it to the side and immediately starts to kiss and suck on your tits. You run your hands through his hair as he assaults your chest and clit at the same time. He moves your panties to the side and slides his index and middle finger into your hole, moving his thumb to your clit. You let a loud moan slip, his fingers curling right up to your sweet spot. After he’s pleased with the pretty bruises he’s left all over your tits he slides his lips down your body until he’s at the hem of your skirt. You lift your head up to watch him, he smirks up at you as he slides his other hand under your skirt to the hem of your panties, pulling them down your thighs slowly. Knowing what was about to come gave you such a restless rush in your core. You kicked your legs, ushering him to hurry up and he smiles at your desperateness, he pulls them off one leg and holds your other leg up and slides them off. Once discarded, he bends your leg over his shoulder and he lays back down on his stomach, lining his head in between your legs. He starts to kiss up your thigh, stopping for a split second as he reaches your heat before lifting your skirt over his head. He then uses his fingers to part your lips as he licks a stripe up your slit. You arch your back, both hands moving to his hair immediately. He doesn’t waste a second before he starts kissing and sucking on your clit and his fingers return to pumping themselves in and out of your entrance. All the pleasure from when he was only fingering you before returns and intensifies, not having to catch back up to where it was before. At this rate you will be coming within seconds. You pull on Kihyun’s hair as you push your hips down to his face, begging for more. He flicks his tongue against your clit rapidly as he curls his two fingers up into your g-spot at the same pace, making you scream. You have to swing one hand over to the sheets to grip tightly otherwise you were afraid you’d explode. You hated that you were about to come this quick, but you just put it down to waiting for your turn for what felt like hours. You don’t tell Kihyun that you’re close because you already know what he will do, so you just don’t say anything and hope you come before he can stop. He starts sucking on your clit and feels it throb as your walls tighten around his fingers, he decides to let you build it up even more before he stops. You start panting and whining, curses falling from your lips as your eyes squeeze shut. He feels your thighs and muscles tightening around his head and once your hips start to rise more against his face, he stops and pulls his head back out from under your skirt. You don’t realise for a few seconds but once you do you immediately sit up and try to kick him, but he just smirks and slides you over to the top of the bed on the pillows. He wastes no time in pumping himself and lining himself up in front of your entrance, you look down, wide eyed. You didn’t expect this, but you hate how much you want it. He slides himself in with a groan, and you wrap your legs around his hips. He snaps his hips into yours and leans his head into your shoulder as he starts thrusting. The thrusts are deep and at a moderate pace, not wanting to go too fast just yet. Your high already starts building up again, your nails are digging into his shoulders, but with the sweat and movement of his body with his thrusts they start slipping and leaving deep scratch marks down his back. He hissed at the stinging sensation of the scratches coming into contact with the air and saltiness of his sweat, he loved the light pain of it. You couldn’t even moan as you felt like you were about to burst, just whine and whimper, trying to grab back onto Kihyun’s shoulder when your nails reach the end of his back. You tighten your thighs around his hips as your walls tighten around his cock thrusting into your g-spot. Your back arches as you start panting and whimpering, Kihyun holding onto the headboard to be able to reach you deeper. He has his forehead against yours, eyes shut tight as he tries so hard to maintain. You finally come undone as your walls throb around him, pushing him closer to his high. You’re moaning what sounds like his name amongst other things, which is secretly driving him crazy in the best way possible. While you’re still in the middle of your orgasm Kihyun flips you over, shoving your face into the pillow which catches you by surprise. He pulls your hips up with him as he gets up on his knees and starts to thrust faster, hitting you from a new angle but still so deep and so sweet. Your walls are still clenched tightly around him, not coming down from your high but rather building a new one from where you were just at which you really aren’t sure if you can handle. Kihyun licks his fingers and starts to rub your clit with his four fingers, sending unfathomable pleasure straight to the deepest part of your core. You push your hips back against him as you shove your face deeper into the pillow and grip the pillow until your knuckles turn white, about to cry from the pleasure you’re feeling everywhere. You’re sure you’re about to explode for real this time. You let out a muffled scream into the pillow as you come again, your body shakes as it rocks through your whole body. Kihyun’s thrust become sloppy as he feels your walls throbbing against him and sees your juices dripping down your thighs and it pushes him over the edge, he rubs your clit a few more times as he reaches the peak of his high. Before he ejaculates he flips you back over so he can come all over your chest as he pumps himself empty. He’s letting out low moans as he looks down at your face, loving how fucked out and flushed you look. Once he’s all empty he falls back onto the bed next to you.
“I think I win that one” He sighs, breathless. You just turn to look at him, your expression unreadable. You struggle to get yourself up, going blind as you try not to fall on the floor after getting up and hold onto the bed for balance. You walk to the bathroom to clean yourself up, using toilet paper to clean up your chest, noticing all the hickeys but not complaining about them. You brush your hair out neatly with your fingers and wipe off your smudged lipstick and use another bit of toilet paper to dab some sweat off your forehead and face. Once you’re satisfied you walk back out into the bedroom to see Kihyun hasn’t moved, you start to get dressed back into your clothes. Kihyun watches you, not saying anything and you’re glad he isn’t. As you walk past him to leave the room he stops you and grabs your wrist.
“I really am sorry, though” He smiles softly. You snap your hand away harshly.
“You’re going to have to do better than that”
#mnstx#monsta x#mx#monsta x scenarios#mx scenarios#monsta x smut#mx smut#monsta x imagines#mx imagines#monsta x angst#mx angst#kihyun smut#kihyun scenarios#kihyun imagines#kihyun#yoo kihyun#shownu#wonho#minhyuk#hyungwon#jooheon#im#hyunwoo#son hyunwoo#lee wonho#hoseok#lee hoseok#shin wonho#shin hoseok#lee minhyuk
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Alrighty, Nonsters. We currently have 290 Asks in our box! As much as we might try, I know there is NO WAY we’re going to be able to get through all of them. Everything exploded this weekend when MessyGate went down! I don’t want to ignore any asks just because I already answered a similar one. So, I’ve tried to gather as many similar Asks as possible to let your your voices be heard. Y’all are definitely NOT alone in your feelings. Get ready for a lot of opinions on Messy’s Twitter Drama.
Also, if you sent in an Ask and we haven’t answered it yet, please feel free to resubmit it! I do try to scroll through all of them but it is a daunting task and personal stuff and work make it difficult for me to get through everything in a timely manner!
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Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’m really disappointed in Luke and this band in general, the way they deal with things. “honest policy” with messy? So he knew all of this and it was okay? Or he confronted her on this and he is okay with what she has done? I’m not sure this whole thing would be a deal breaker for me, but it certainly would make me real mad at my SO and some whiny excuses wouldn’t be enough to make things alright. Radio silence would’ve been much better than that story he posted, made himself look like a fool.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls will sooner or later become their downfall if their management or them does not realise they should rely on other things than bringing relationship up front to sell their music. I find it extremely bad that they are behaving as if nothing happened, I hope there will be changes once touring will be possible again and we won’t see these girls tagging along everywhere or being brought up in interviews all the time but somehow I’m not counting too much on that.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder if Luke knows everything that Messy got exposed for or just the parts Messy wanted to show him. Bc Luke said in his Story that he wasn't online lately so maybe he wasn't on Twitter too and Messy just showed him the parts that make her look good and he still doesn't know that she spoke bad about Ashton or how she stalked the fans also after she knew that they didn't hack his email adress cause he wasn't on Twitter so he couldn't see the screenshots.🤷♀️
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm just waiting for the day one of them date someone who isn't a part of their circle. tired of them passing around the same toxic girls.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: These girls are just digging a whole for these guys and they want be able to get out of it soon
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: It was a chicken move for Sierra to do it as a reply and no one has talked on twitter that she deleted it because they probably think her deleting it is saying it wasn’t true
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Am I the only one who thinks that guys really only heavily interact with us when they want to promote something or say something about the music? I do understand they have lives so being on Twitter isn't number one priority and with all the drama that surrounds this fandom its very easy to not want to be online a lot, I just can't help but feel that way
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm talking about this messy situation (no pun intended) with my friend and she said to me that Messy should consider changing her career if she can't handle that not all people are going to like her. (that ofc doesn't include any form of harassment bc that's not cool)
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I really don't know how to feel about the Luke situation. At first I was upset and disappointed of Luke but now I almost pity him bc real or not either the management would want Luke to defend her or Messy. And I think Luke isn't the kind of person who would stand up against the management or Messy (even though it would probably be better for him if he would). And most people don't realise when they're in a toxic relationship so I can't really blame him. I just hope this ends asap.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I literally was so angry and frustrated with Luke and this whole situation yesterday that I couldn’t even look at him on my home screen, I had to change it. It’s really a disappointing thing to witness. Whether management put him up to this or he genuinely believes this toxicity is okay, I’m just very grumpy with him at the moment. He deserves better and WE (the fans) deserve better.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I think Luke really needs to be in a relationship with sb who either isn't famous and doesn't want to be or with someone who is famous bc they have a successful career too and who doesn't need Like to be famous.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I’ve only seen a few accounts on Twitter who are attacking Messy and Crusty to the core and exposing every bad thing they’ve done with receipts for the sossies defending them! I’m happy that karma is finally getting to those con artist who think they can get away with anything
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: that recent lierra picture is photoshoped lmao. if you look at Sierra's hand you can see color coming off from it and her arm looks hella weird.her forehead looks hella weird and look couldn't have taken the picture because I doubt that he could stretch his arm that far and make a perfect picture. also we haven't even seen Sierra's face so I still don't believe they're together
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The Lemon pic was like a punch in the face (even though Petunia and Luke are looking cute there). But I've been asking myself lately if Luke has seen the whole drama going around on Twitter or just the posts Messy wanted him to know so the ones who make her look like the victim (and not the ones where she insulted Ashton or she made it clear that she stalked his fans). Cause Luke said he hasn't been online lately.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I mean we dont know how much of the story he truly is aware of and how much s changed to fit her narrative and get L to feel bad for her. Plus he was under pressure from management to do damage control and not standing up for his gf is a very bad look for outsiders who dont understand why she's at fault. It was a pretty neutral statement and he was obviously told to make the post so I dont blame him and just blame her more for putting him in the situation in the 1st place
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I wonder how much toxicity happens behind the scenes, we know S is very manipulative and L is very much a people pleaser so.. and with how much they have to sell their "love" and "happiness" in the relationship. Minipulation is a powerful thing and it could explain why hes out of touch with reality, especially lately since he's isolated with her and doesnt have the voices of the band to raise any concerns and he's been getting skinny again and seems very "meh" rather than happy, idk
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel so disconnected with this fandom rn. I feel like no one is streaming CALM and that makes me sad bc it's such an amazing album. The boys aren't even online anymore, everyone is mad at each other and now Luke comes up with this shit... tbh I wish I would wake up tomorrow and see him tweeting something like yeah I'm sorry about my ig story I still love y'all lmao
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Wait wait wait wait ive been gone from the fandom for a little while now and what the fuck is going on with Luke and S? What did S do that she made a fake ass apology for?? I’m so lost please help me! 😂
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I'm seeing a lot of my mutuals unstanning and I'm just so mad bc Sierra started this drama and got Luke into it and I'm sad that people are leaving bc of this, it's just too much toxicity and it shouldn't affect the band and their connection with the fans but with Luke saying this he makes it seem like he supports the ugly things she does
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I am a Luke stan and I've always loved him bc he has inspired me so much through the years but when he does this things it's like...damn. I feel like he's invalidating the fans' feelings by being like "if you don't like my girlfriend, ur fake" like he has never noticed me on Twitter or anything but my biggest fear is to be blocked by him or just ignored bc I don't like her (although I never expressed it publicly) n yeah anyways :// It feels weird
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Going back and re-reading the DM’s messy literally confirms that she accesses Luke’s account by saying “we couldn’t get in” or some shit like that
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I hate being a luke stan, sometimes it just seems like he doesn't care? he always puts these toxic gfs before the ones who adore him and pay his bills. might just move into Cashton's lane. unproblematic kings.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: He literally posted a picture of him cuddling her and petunia within the hour
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: The saddest part of this situation is it’s like a repeat of Arzaylea. Luke has no idea what a respectful, mature relationship is. We saw it with Arz and were seeing it again it’s just a little bit different. He stays being controlled and manipulated by toxic partners. I really think homeboy needs to be single for a WHILE and focus on himself. He needs to unlearn the things his past and current relationships have taught him about love because if I know anything, it’s that this ain’t real love.
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Is it bad that I just want the larzaylea drama back?? Like everyone could at least agree on their feelings then...
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: Just checked messy’s insta and of course, everyone that still supports her filled her tagged with just the single picture
Anonymous said to 5sosbitchfest: I feel like the reason Sierra is getting away with what she’s done is because she isn’t that known. Like yeah she’s associated with 5sos, but they’re also like not that big which is probably why it’s getting swept under the rug. I’ve only seen the 5SOS fandom calling her out for her actions. If this had happened with a well known celebrity, they probably would’ve been dragged and been trending on Twitter. I might be wrong but I feel like this is what’s happening which is just unfair.
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meet me in the tree house
Moodboard made by @snowflakeu25
BTS au-imagine
Yoongi x Reader Y/N
fluff, romance
Word Count: 3.5K
A/N: This was a request from @snowflakeu25 💜
Three knocks on his studio door.
A gruff voice, muffled by the walls enters your ears and you twist the knob and push into the room with your hip since your other hand is preoccupied carrying a shallow box of takeout containers. A boy sits in a computer chair facing a mountain of recording equipment. Speakers jut from the two corners of the ceiling. Three large monitors sit atop the mountain, an expanse of panels, keyboards, knobs and sliders filling the valley below. At the sound of you entering the room, he turns around, his mouth twitching into a quick smirk before his eyes fall to the food in your hands.
“Hey,” you say.
“Hey,” Yoongi replies spinning around fully to face the coffee table as you set the box down on its surface.
“Working hard?” you ask and take a seat on the leather couch that sits adjacent to him.
Yoongi stretches, arching his back and raising his arms in the air with a groan. “Always,” he says. “Chinese?”
“You know it.”
The two of you are quiet for a while as you work at getting all of the take out containers open and onto the coffee table. Then you pass him a pair of chopsticks before taking your own pair and grabbing the closest container. You’ve watched Yoongi become a big time producer, his songs winning award after award. You’ve seen him on tv, standing on stages, making speeches, wearing designer clothes and being adored by people that don’t know him.
Yet every Wednesday, you come to Bighit, the security guard giving you a smile and a nod of recognition and you take the elevator up to the fourth floor, carrying take out, walk down that hallway lined with albums that have gone gold and platinum before reaching the studio. And there you find him, in his baggy sweats and baggy shirt, sometimes a beanie to keep his hair out of his eyes and he’d turn and greet you with that same tired smile. He’s never treated you different. He’s never let the fame get to him. Probably because he knows how far of a fall it would be back to the bottom where he started if he were to let it all go to his head.
You moved to the city not long after Yoongi got the job at Bighit. The two of you have been best friends since you were in fourth grade, when he moved into the house next door to yours. He had a tree house in his backyard that you had been eying for a while and when his mom had forced him to come over and ask you to play, you’d been ecstatic to finally be able to see the inside of it. It was as cool as you’d thought it would be, and that was where you’d spend a lot of late nights during the summer.
As you got older, the tree house transformed from a playhouse to a safe house. If your parents were fighting or lashing out at you, you’d send a quick text to him asking him to meet you there. And by the time you climbed up the rope ladder, the hatch would already be open and Yoongi would be waiting for you, his ears open to listen or his arms open to hold you, whichever you needed. Usually, it was both.
Once he moved away after college, there wasn’t much left for you in your small town, so you followed him, getting a job in the city and hanging out whenever he was free. Which wasn’t as often lately.
“So what have you been working on?” you ask before shoving a piece of orange chicken into your mouth.
Yoongi perks up, swallowing his mouthful of food before spinning to face his desk again. “Tell me what you think of this. Then with a couple clicks of his mouse and a press of a button on one of his keyboards, the room fills with music.
You close your eyes so you’re not distracted by anything and listen to the steady rhythm as it builds. After a few measures, Yoongi’s familiar voice starts in, delivering the deep lyrics he’s become so well-known for. You can feel the smile spreading your mouth as you listen, your head automatically bobbing to the beat. You’re really enjoying the song when suddenly it cuts off and you open your eyes to find Yoongi looking at you, his hand poised on his keyboard. You frown.
“What did you stop it for?”
“I just wanted to give you a sneak peek. You can’t hear the whole song until the mixtape is done.”
“Mixtape?” you ask as your smile returns.
Yoongi smiles back and looks down at his hands shyly. “By the way, I’m making a mixtape.
You let out an excited squeal, reaching out to hit his arm over and over, his smile growing bigger with every hit. “Are you serious?” you finally ask when he’s rolled out of your reach. “You’ve been wanting to do a mixtape forever!”
“Yeah,” he chuckles and scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’ve finally gotten some time to work on it so I’ve been kind of messing around, writing some stuff.”
You pick up the container of pork fried rice, poking at it as you shake your head. “I’m really excited for you, Yoongi. It’s going to be amazing.”
“I hope.”
“It will be,” you say. “You’re crazy talented.”
Just then you feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket and when you reach for it and look at the screen, you can’t help but smile. The room is silent as you type a response to the message you received.
“Who has the audacity to interrupt our Wednesday night dinner?” Yoongi asks jokingly as he wheels back over and swipes a container off of the coffee table.
You send the message and set your phone onto the table before taking another bite of rice. “Just a guy I’ve been talking to,” you say. “Sorry.”
Yoongi blinks, obviously caught off guard by your response. “Oh, no, it’s okay. I didn’t know you were talking to someone.”
“Yeah,” you say with a shy smile. “I met him at a party last weekend and, I don’t know. We got to talking and now we’ve been texting each other a bit.”
Yoonig lets out a grunt, suddenly very interested in the container he’s holding.
“I don’t know,” you say again. “I think I’m finally in a place to start wanting to date again…you know, after everything that happened with—”
“Y/N,” Yoongi says cutting you off. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about him. I’m glad you’re able to move on now. I’m happy for you.”
You tilt your head as you study your best friend. His words sound genuine but the sentiment doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. “Thanks,” you utter. You hear your phone vibrate against the coffee table and you watch as Yoongi’s gaze falls to it for a split second before focusing back on poking his chopstick into his food.
*
*
Y/N: So Chinese again tonight or something different?
Yoongi: Ive got a lot of work to do tonight. I dont think I can hang out.
Y/N: Oh ok. See u next week then?
Yoongi: Sure.
*
*
Y/N: Hey, did u want to go out tonight instead of me bringing something? Theres a new ramen place I wanted to try.
Yoongi: cant hang out tonight. Busy.
Y/N: …ok. Next week then? I miss u.
Yoongi: Sure.
*
*
Y/N: ok. Im kidnapping u tmrrw night. I kno u dont rlly like going anywhere on Wednesday nights since u hav to work but we havnt hung out in like 3 weeks and I want to take u to see this new horror movie with me. And I kno that telling u Im kidnapping u kind of negates the whole “kidnapping” thing but I kno u dont like surprises.
Yoongi: cant.
Y/N:…really?
Yoongi: Sorry. I have to work.
Y/N: man…ur working a lot lately, arnt u?
Yoongi: its my job, Y/N. Maybe next week.
Y/N: Next week Im going to be back home to visit some family.
Yoongi: oh ok.
Y/N: Whatever, Yoongi. If u dont want to hang out anymor, just say it.
Y/N: Or dont. Whatever.
*
*
Yoongi: hey
Yoongi: Y/N
Yoongi: I know ur mad at me but please respond.
Yoongi: Y/N I was just being an idiot.
Yoongi: Y/N
Yoongi: Please talk to me.
Yoongi: look, I kno ur reading my texts and I kno u probably wont respond but if u end up seeing this, please meet me in the tree house in like twenty minutes. Alright? Thats where Ill be. I need to talk to u.
*
“The tree house?” you utter as you re-read his last text. As in the one at his parent’s house? The one that’s over an hour away from the city the two of you live in now?
You’re at a family dinner at the moment but you’ve all already eaten and now your parents are just talking to your aunt and uncle and though you’re a bit reluctant to actually meet up with Yoongi (since you’re still pretty pissed at him for ditching you for the past three weeks) he’s the perfect excuse for you to duck out early. And you do just that, saying goodnight to your extended family before telling your parents that you have to run but you’ll see them back at home later. Then you head out before anyone can argue.
It’s about a thirty minute drive from the restaurant back to your house. You can’t even bring yourself to pretend to feel bad for making him wait those ten extra minutes wondering if you’re even going to show up. It serves him right. The two of you have been best friends for as long as you can remember and have been doing Wednesday night dinner together ever since he got the job at Bighit. After all this, he decides he’s too busy to hang out? He’s never been too busy. Has the fame finally gotten to his head?
A terrible thought occurs to you as you pull into the driveway at your childhood home. What if he wants to meet you to break things off? To tell you that he doesn’t have time for friends anymore. That you shouldn’t come around anymore because it’s interfering with his work. That he’s outgrown you.
With an angry jerk of the stick shift, you jam your car into park and turn off the engine, yanking the key out. You can already feel yourself getting worked up as you slam the door and stomp across the yard to Yoongi’s house. When you get through the gate and enter the backyard, your eyes trail up to the tree house where it resides in the tall maple in the middle of the lawn. The sun is almost all the way set and the sky is already turning a medium shade of blue. It’s getting dark fast and you can see golden light filtering out of the windows in the tree house. He’s there. Good.
You take a deep breath then make your way up the rope ladder. This was a lot easier when you were younger, and smaller, and you can’t help but wonder how much longer this rope will even hold. With that thought, you scurry up the last few rungs, hoping the whole time that it won’t snap on you. Then, when you poke your head up through the hole, your eyes fall on Yoongi.
He’s laying on his back, hands on his stomach and his eyes fixed on the ceiling. At the sound of your arrival, he turns his head, his gaze locking with yours.
He sits up quickly. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”
You back away from the hole in the floor until your spine rests against the wall. “I wasn’t going to but it was an excuse to duck out of dinner early.” You cross your arms. “What are you even doing here, Yoongi?”
Your best friend gets to his feet. “I wanted to talk to you about…everything.”
“Well?”
Yoongi sighs, bringing up a hand to scratch behind his ear. A nervous tick you’ve always thought was a bit endearing. “I guess I just got kind of…jealous.”
Um…
You stand there against the wall blinking for several seconds, not really sure if you heard him right. “Jealous,” you finally say. Yoongi nods. Your brow furrows and you let out a humorless laugh. “I’m sorry, Mr. Big-shot producer, what the heck would you be jealous of?”
As if on cue, your phone chimes in your pocket and Yoongi’s eyes fall to the outline of it against your thigh. You’ve still been talking to that other guy from several weeks ago and now it kind of dawns on you, just what Yoongi is jealous of. The two of you lock eyes again.
“Yoongi…”
The apples of his cheeks dust a light pink, contrasting against his pale mint hair and he shifts on his feet. “No, it’s stupid. I shouldn’t have been like that. Not when I’ve never even told you how I feel. I just wanted you to meet me here so I could tell you that I’m sorry and I want to keep doing our Wednesday night thing and you can text that guy all you want. And I know you don’t need my permission but I’m just letting you know that I won’t be a jerk about this. And I won’t start acting all weird. Date him. Marry him. I’ll still be your best friend as long as you want me to be. And if you don’t, I understand that too because what kind of person freezes their best friend out over another guy? You’re more important to me than that and…Y/N?”
His words finally trail off when he looks up and realizes you’ve been standing there gaping at him the whole time. Your heart is in your stomach and your breaths have become shallow. Are you having a panic attack? Here? In Yoongi’s tree house? In front of Yoongi?
“Y/N?” he asks again.
“What did you say?” you utter.
“What?”
“What did you say?” you ask louder. “Just now. What did you say?”
Yoongi fumbles with his hands for a second, running his fingers through his hair and switching his weight to his other foot again. “Uh…that you’re my best friend?”
“Before that.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Before that.”
“I was being stupid?”
“After that.”
Yoongi bites his bottom lip, the pink in his cheeks becoming darker. “…that I haven’t told you how I feel?”
“Yeah,” you say. “How do you feel, Yoongi?”
“I feel like…” he takes a tentative step toward you, keeping his eyes locked on yours even as the blush spreads down to his neck. “…like I’ve been in love with my best friend for the past five years.” He takes another step toward you. The tree house isn’t very big so even after just these two steps, there’s only about a foot of space between you now. “How do you feel, Y/N?” he asks, his voice much lower than it was before. You peer up at him, heat creeping up your own neck to settle on your cheeks.
“I…uh…I—” your phone chimes in your pocket again and Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath. “Give me two seconds,” you whisper then pull your phone out of your pocket with trembling fingers and check the screen. Yoongi leans in a bit to peek too. “It’s my mom,” you say and you hear him chuckle under his breath. “She wants to know if I want them to pick up ice cream on their way back.”
“Do you?” he asks leaning in more, his dark eyes now drilling into yours. You’d back up if you could but you’re already pressed against the wall.
“Do I what?” you ask him.
He hesitates for just a moment, a smile quirking the corner of his mouth. “Want ice cream?”
You both know that’s not the question he’s really asking and for a split second, your eyes dart down to his lips. You pull your own into your mouth as you try to conjure up the words. You’re already a flustered mess with this boy so close to you, looking at you the way he is, his body heat radiating across the small space between you.
“Of course I want ice cream. I frikin’ love ice cream.”
The tension in the small space seems to burst as Yoongi falls forward, his head landing on your shoulder and laughter bubbling up out of him. You can’t help but laugh too as you feel his shoulders shake against yours and then he’s wrapping his arms around your waist to keep either of you from tumbling to the floor. The room is filled with your giggling and tears have sprung to your eyes and finally, once the muscles in both of your stomachs are good and sore, he lifts his head back up.
The laughter dies down as the two of you lock eyes again. You watch with bated breath as he reaches up to brush the hair back from your forehead, his fingers sliding down the side of your face and lingering on your jaw. “Can I kiss you, Y/N?” he utters.
You don’t even hesitate to nod before he closes the small gap, his lips moulding to yours along with the rest of his body. His one hand tightens on your waist and the other slides to the back of your neck and then he’s tilting his head to kiss you deeper. Of course, then your phone chimes AGAIN causing him to jump back with a small gasp.
“Sorry,” you mumble, your head swimming as you look down at your phone still in your hand. You look back up at Yoongi again. “Flavor?”
Yoongi stands there breathing hard for a second, staring at you as he processes your question. His tongue flicks out of his mouth for just a second. “Chocolate,” he finally says breathlessly.
You type the word as fast as you can, getting frustrated when you keep screwing up, before hitting send and dropping your phone onto the rug. Then you reach out to grasp Yoongi by the shoulders, pulling him to you once again.
*
*
“Just listen to this one,” Yoongi says as he pulls you back down into his lap.
The computer chair creaks under the weight of the two of you and you grip the arms to keep from toppling over. “Yoongi, I have to go. I have to get up early for work tomorrow.”
“Just this last one,” he says and slides the headphones back onto your ears. You’ve tried taking them off for the last five songs but every time you do, he wants you to listen to just one more. This is the last one, I promise.
“Yoongi, you’re really making me seem like a jerk of a girlfriend that doesn’t want to listen to your music.”
“But you do want to listen to my music, right?”
You smile and reach up to touch your palm to his cheek. “Of course, I do,” you say. Yoongi’s mouth lifts into a gummy smile as he nuzzles your hand. “You know I’m your biggest fan.”
“I know,” he says with a contented sigh.
He’s too perfect for his own good. So talented and so soft lately. Yoongi has always been more on the reserved side. Never cold but a bit closed off, even to you. But ever since the two of you talked—if you can even call it that—in the tree house, everything has changed. He’s revealed a different side of himself to you. A softer side. A happier side. You can hear it in his music, too. How happy he’s become.
“Alright,” you say. “Just one more.”
Yoongi claps excitedly before pressing a button on his keyboard and then settling back in under you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his cheek against your arm. He loves watching your expression as you listen to his music. Loves seeing how it affects you, loves seeing the uncensored reaction. He knows you’ll always be honest with him, because you want him to give his best. Besides his colleagues, you’re the only one who’s opinion he trusts.
As you listen, Yoongi starts playing with your fingers, pressing the pads of his own against yours so you mirror his movements, and then when he glances at the screen and sees that the song is almost over, he slides his fingers through the gaps between yours and locks your hand in his. You knew he wouldn’t let you go after this song.
You shake your head until the headphones slip from your ears. “Yoongi,” you say.
“Just one more,” he says quickly and releases one of your hands to pull the headphones back up.
#bts#bangtan#bangtan bookclub#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts au#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bts drabble#bts one shot#bts suga#bts yoongi#bts x reader#bangtan fanfic#bangtan fanfiction#bangtan drabble#yoongi x reader#suga x reader#min yoongi#yoongi drabble#yoongi one shot#yoongi fanfic#suga drabble#suga one shot#suga fanfic#kpop#kpop fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#one shot
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1 THROUGH 55 AND 1 THROUGH 30 GO GO GO
LETS FUCKIN GO
tumblr please actually make this a keep reading
55 interesting questions you should drop in someone’s inbox
1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?
I ALREADY WATCH NETFLIX AND AGONIZE OVER MY STORY
2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you’ve own/owned?
MY JACKETS. ANY CHEST OBSCURING, BROAD SHOULDERED, COZY JACKET
3. What hobbies would you get into if time and money wasn’t an issue?
DANCING, ID NEED TO GO TO CLASSES OR SOMETHING
4. What would your perfect room look like?
IM ACTUALLY PRETTY HAPPY WITH MY ROOM BUT IVE ALWAYS WANTED A LAVA LAMP, AND 1800 MORE PLANTS COULDNT HURT
5. Do you play sports?
NO
6. What fiction place would you love to go to?
SINNOH REGION
7. What Job would you be terrible at?
DEBT COLLECTION. I WOULD BE GIVING SHIT TO PEOPLE FOR FREE. I COULDNT BEAR BEING ENCOURAGED TO FORCE PEOPLE WHO CANT PAY FOR SOMETHING TO PAY MORE
8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would it be?
SERVING. HOW MANY PLATES CAN YOU CARRY AT ONCE
9. What’s the most annoy habit other people have?
WALKING IN MY SPACE BUBBLE WHEN MY SENSES ARE OVERLOADED
10. What skill would you like to master?
A SECOND LANGUAGE
11. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?
THE ONE FROM MY DREAM WHERE I KISSED A GIRL DYED MY HAIR BLUE AND WE ELOPED TO BRAZIL TO RAISE SHEEP
12. What’s your favorite drink ?
THAT CHRISTMAS SHIT. PEPPERMINT MOCHA AT STARBUCKS. A FRIEND GOT IT FOR ME ONCE. NOW I ORDER IT A BILLION TIMES.
13. What state or country would you never like to go back to?
I HAVE NOT TRAVELLED MUCH EVER
14. What songs do you have completely memorized?
I DONT REMEMBER LYRICS SO MUCH, BUT I COULD PROBABLY REMEMBER HOW MANY SONGS GO COMPLETELY
15. Are you usually early or late?
LATE. IM GETTING BETTER THOUGH
16. What takes up too much of your time?
GETTING OUT OF BED
17. What do you wish you knew more about?
SWORDS
18. What are some small things that make your day better?
COFFEE. SOMEONE SAYING SOMETHING NICE TO ME.
19. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?
QUEER EYE BUT BY TRANS PEOPLE FOR TRANS PEOPLE
20. Who has impressed you the most with what they’ve accomplished?
YOU. AND ME. ITS GROWTH
21. What age do you wish you can permanently be?
21, SO I HAVE TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCKS GOING ON
22. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?
13 REASONS, THE BOOK WAS TRIGGERING SO I WONT RISK IT
23. What would be your ideal way to spend you weekend?
TAKING A WALK, HAVING COFFEE, WATERING PLANTS… IM HAPPY
24. What’s something in your life that’s considered a luxury?
I HAVE PERFUME...
25. Is there anything you’re too young/old for?
TO YOUNG TO NEVER DRINK. TOO OLD FOR POKEMON
26. What’s your favorite genre book or movie?
I DONT HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN FOR EITHER BUT I SEEM TO LIKE URBAN FANTASY A LOT
27. How often do you people watch?
I THINK IM SO POLITE BUT HONESTLY, I QUIETLY SCRUTINIZE SO MANY PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN EVERY DAY AND GUESS AT THEIR PERSONAL HABITS AND SELF IMAGE.
28. What’s the best single day on the calendar?
MY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS SEASON RULES BABY
29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?
I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING PPL HAVENT HEARD OF BUT IM INTERESTED IN BLACK HOLES
30. Do you relax after a hard day?
FOOD. NETFLIX. DECOMPOSING ON TUMBLR
31. What’s the best book or series you’ve ever read?
I HAVENT READ A BOOK I REALLY LOVE IN AGES. HARRY POTTER AND ARTEMIS FOWL WERE MY FAVOURITES GROWING UP, BUT CORNELIA FUNKES BOOKS SLAPPED AND HIS DARK MATERIALS WAS GORGEOUS
32. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?
IDAHO?
33. What’s the most heart warming thing you’ve ever seen?
LUCIFER WAS LIKE YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING MIDDLE NAME JANE AND KNOWS THAT EVERY MURDER BREAKS YOUR HEART AND YOU SIMPLY DESERVE BETTER SO NO MORE MOMENTS WHILE THEYRE HAVING A MOMENT AND CHLOE IS WATCHING THIS FUCKING IDIOT AND IVE WATCHED THIS BEFORE SO I KNOW SHES GONNA KISS HIM AND THEN THEY KISS
34. What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?
ANY SMALL TALK QUESTIONS
35. Would you give a 40 minute presentation with no preparation?
YES. ID MAKE THAT SHIT RIGHT UP. SKILLS
36. What’s something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?
GIVE ME A HUG AND SOME CHOCOLATE
37. Would you rather go Hand Gliding or Whitewater rafting?
HANG GLIDING
38. Dream car?
SOMETHING I DONT HAVE TO WORRY WILL FALL INTO PIECES AT ANY MOMENT
39. What’s something so many people are obsessed with and you just don’t understand why?
STRAIGHT LOVE SONGS
40. What are you most looking forward to in 10 years from now?
HAVING A CAT
41. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but haven’t gotten to it?
DECORATING THE DOLLHOUSE I RESCUED FROM THE BATHROOM
42. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you all week?
IM NOT VERY FAR THROUGH THE WEEK AND I HAVENT ENJOYED MOST OF IT BUT PEOPLE SAYING ADORABLE THINGS
43. How different was your life one year ago?
NOT A LOT DIFFERENT, IM JUST LONELY IN THE CITY NOW, MINUS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, ONE YEAR ON T
44. What/who would you rate 10/10?
MY CACTUS JAKEN. I DROPPED HIM SO MANY TIMES AN ENTIRE HALF OF HIS SPIKES ARE FLAT SCARS. AND LOOK AT HIM. THRIVING
45. What kind of art do you enjoy the most?
GENUINELY MADE ART
46. What do you hope never changes?
MY T PRESCRIPTION
47. What movie title best describes your life?
I LOOKED THROUGH NETFLIX AND I PICK TWILIGHT
48. What website do you visit most often?
TUMBLR
49. What’s something you’re looking forward to this year?
MY BIRTHDAY
50. What’s something you’d like to unlearn?
FINDING A REASON TO CANCEL EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING
51. Where would you spend all your time if you could?
WALKING BY SOME RUNNING WATER
52. What age would you like to live to?
80. THATS MY MENTAL HEALTH ANSWER
53. What’s something you’re most likely to become famous for?
SOMETHING CREATIVE WOULD BE AWESOME
54. What’s something you’re most likely to be arrested for?
CRIMES
55. What’s something you really want but can’t afford?
A CAT
Lgbt+ ask game
What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?
I’m even a little shaken by a questioning state right now but for a while I’ve felt the best fit is the androgynous label -- I read a description of it being the purple on a pink to blue scale, both at once but not specifically either one, and something else by itself. I’m also happy with a cryptic masculine grey area. My pronouns are he/him.
How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?
During the Puberty 1.0 nightmare, I was basically living someone else’s life, and any attraction I felt wasn’t in relation to myself. I felt disconnected from my body and gender and everything too, and I felt a lot of social pressure to experience a certain type of attraction, fit into a certain role, et cetera, and none of these feelings existed in me at all, so I used to identify as ace. When I realized I was trans, I was too caught up in the, transition safely, my life is a lie, stopping dysphoria drama to focus on this, but I had an idea I might be a gay guy judging from my gay creative writing until I caught feelings for a girl and realized this wasn’t the first time that had happened. Some bi positivity and nonbinary rage later, I am reminded that gender is a joke.
Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?
Yes of course A LOT. Starting with my parents, who do it aggressively and maliciously. And plenty from strangers and customers, mostly after hearing my voice pre-transition. It used to hurt terribly because I was dealing with so much other stuff at the time, and one little thing could be the last straw, so I used to react strongly and harshly, to people you express yourself to anyway. On T, I’ve been so much more chill and confident, and it’s less painful to accept that some people just don’t know any better, although that doesn’t change its effect.
Who was the first person you told, how did they react?
I don’t remember, I think it was a high school friend. I vaguely remember texting someone in a bathroom during a crying session at work. My high school friends were all warm and supportive.
Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?
It was scary as hell. I’m sure coming out (with your gender specifically) is scary by nature because it’s a huge truth to be telling that can really change how the people you love perceive you, for better or for worse, but for me, I’m also thinking with the dread and certainty that my family would be too conservative and potentially dangerous. Coming out to my family was one of the worst, most painful things I’ve ever been through -- being kicked out and laughed at, a lot of drama, confrontations, Bible readings and being ganged up on at odd hours, trying to comfort my mom who took it as her personal failure -- I was shaking with adrenaline 24/7. I think of the “I’ll suffer through anything as long as it has meaning” comment that was about angsty fanfics, but knowing the truth about myself was a source of unshakable strength and it felt refreshing and even triumphant to say, like I was giving myself permission to exist for the first time. I came out a bunch of times, though...
If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?
My family reacted mostly badly, my sister is a little confused but has the spirit, and my friends have been wonderful.
What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?
It’s more of a gender thing, but I hate it when people imply that I shouldn’t be on T or are subtly trying to talk me out of it with their questions. After all the disrespectful as fuck bullshit I heard from my parents, I’m tired of this.
Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.
Zombie apocalypse denim? Gay Layers
Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?
I’m not really emotionally invested in these “ships” you cool kids are talking about. I like canon, age-appropriate ones.
What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?
I’ve never really worn makeup. I brazenly never bothered to growing up, and if it had an effect on me socially, I was too tuned out to care. My sister always wanted to do my hair and makeup, but I wasn’t interested and wouldn’t let her, much to her frustration. I wore some for a musical once though, and I had no idea what I was doing and it was extremely uncomfortable. I felt what I know now is dysphoria and ended up using the lipstick to draw. Another aspect to this is my family forbade it (or my dad made the decision for everyone), not that it made my sister feel less pressured to wear it, so maybe it was some female presentation I could easily get out of. For that reason, I don’t have super strong feelings about it. Not understanding it probably resulted in me feeling left out a lot among my peers.
Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?
Yes. Before my realization, it was a numb horror I wasn’t consciously aware of, ruining nice things growing up to the point where I feel like I missed out on being a teenager. I remember it as feeling nauseous while sitting in a corner, feeling like none of my clothes ever fit for some mysterious reason. Living with my family in the closet, it defined my life, and I was obsessed with my presentation. These days, it does not bother me on that level at all, except a minor freakout now and then if I get really wild and wear feminine clothes. Or I still feel it in more subtle ways, when I default to customer service voice, or when guys my age are twice my height and I look aaaall the way up at them and wonder what gender they see me as.
What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?
Trust me, I have heard truck loads of dumb shit and the winner is the Gay Agenda is R****a’s propaganda to weaken the integrity of North America. Considering what is happening over there, it was enragingly stupid.
What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?
I feel like I can be myself around lgbt+ people. I don’t feel like I have to hide stuff or put on a show, and I’m not afraid because it’s familiar territory.
What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?
Aside from obvious problems like TERFs, ace discourse. Ace people are part of the community if they want to be and that’s enough on that, my skin is already breaking out.
Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?
I finally went to a Pride event this year! I was surprised it was the first one I’d been to, then remembered my parents discouraged me from going anywhere, never mind to a gay where.
Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?
I can’t think of many people right now, but Leslie Feinberg seems awesome, and some quotes from Stone Butch Blues are very validating.
Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?
No. Technically I have been in one, but it was shitty and ridiculous, and basically platonic, and I don’t want it to count.
What is your favourite lgbt+ book?
I barely read… I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe in high school and it was honestly so precious.
Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?
Yes. I got kicked out (but then kicked back in again), had my stuff stolen and damaged, was verbally harassed… and I was indirectly fired by an employer, but We Will Never Know Why...
Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?
Queer Eye! I don’t know of many though, and some important ones, I just haven’t watched.
Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?
My mutuals :D
Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?
I’m okay calling myself queer.
Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?
No, but I did see some drag performances at the one (1) Pride event I went to, and they were jaw-dropping.
How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?
I’m not sure what this question means, but I decide what fits right by what makes me feel the most alive and emotionally real and in the moment. What makes me feel the most attractive to be honest. There’s a post about dysphoria I saw going around, the things on it are basically what I use to figure things out.
Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?
I am actually! Not anytime soon, but I’m the responsible type for sure, and judging by the way I love growing plants and being around animals, I’m probably a nurturing person. I actually like kids too, lol, they’re just so high-energy.
What identity advice would you give your younger self?
You’re a boy. Go!
What do you think of gender roles in relationships?
I think people are going to have different ways of expressing themselves that make them happy, but… I don’t think they should infringe on basic human decency. When I hear “role” I think of acting a certain way because someone told you to, something I want to disagree with on the spot.
Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?
People move out of my way on the sidewalk and take me seriously now. Privilege or self-confidence… I never want to forget what it used to be like, or get too entitled.
What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?
That it’s simply living one’s reality. I think that trips up a lot of straight people -- that some people just come like this, and they don’t have to make it fit into their personal identity.
Why are proud to be lgbt+?
Because I worked hard to be alive and happy right now. I’m proud of choosing to get through those rough patches, take care of myself, heal, take walks, cook breakfast, learn healthy coping mechanisms, that was out of love for myself and a defiant conviction that I have a place in this world.
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I’ve been a bit silent the past few days, and I’ve got a pretty good idea of why. Nothing bad, but it occupied my mind a bit (and bothered a tiny bit my grey-demi self). Thankfully I resolved it yesterday, still I’m unsure if I’ll do anything else than relax (or work on stuff off internet) tonight.
As for tomorrow, we’ll go out by late morning and will be out until early afternoon. There’s equal chance I’ll feel all energized&motivated upon return or feeling like I just want to sit and relax. So we’ll see if I’m around tomorrow.
After that, it is the weekend which means I’m often not around much (depending if my brother comes home or not, even when he doesn’t I do take some time offline).
Sooooo I’ll probably be lurking, but I’ll also probably won’t do much (or talk much) until monday. For all I know I’ll get energized later or tomorrow, but don’t be surprised if I’m a ghost until monday/next week! (I might also end up replying to some threads, or do memes, if the mood comes).
As for what occupied my mind; it’s under the cut and very cathartic to share to be honest.
There’s a short version first, just in case you’re like, not wanting the detailed version.
Obviously: feel free to ignore XD
Short version: met a guy a few years ago, made a mistake, said I didn’t want to see him again after I realized my mistake and how I didn’t feel comfortable, saw the guy again months ago, accepted to just see him and catch up, got contacted two weeks ago, set up to meet last friday, and since friday feeling a bit off about it, tuesday I already knew I didn’t want a relation, but by yesterday I was also getting strong nope vibes, feeling a bit uncomfortable seeing him; so called to stop things completely.
Longer version:
Something like 3/4 years ago I met a guy at my friend’s restaurant, and because I had drunk a bit (like not much, two/three glasses), I didn’t think before sleeping with him (the day after, he wanted to have me come at his home but I refused, instead setting to see each other again in a few days). A day or two after, I let him know I’d rather we don’t see each other again, as by then I processed and my senses noped hard.
Biggest thing is probably the slow realization from what follows that I was approached as someone he had a good time with. And then other things in his attitude.
But yeah, I saw him again like, months ago, and he had asked if it was okay to contact me again, saying it’s like, just to chat and catch up, go for a drink when he’s in town. Thing is, because of how things happened when we met, I was uncertain of myself my decision, so I had said yes. He never contacted me for months, and then two weeks ago I saw I had a missed call from him. He had been in town and had meant to ask if I wanted to see him, but he wasn’t in town by the time I saw it. I did call him of course, and we set up to meet the week later.
Thing is, I was happy that he would want to, but I also wanted to see how I’d feel, you know? And there was still the hope/thought he might genuinely want to know me, or might have genuine feelings.
I noticed something though, which is that he has that kind of presence where you kind of, not think, you process things later (or it’s me who needs time to process, but I’m pretty sure there are people like that, who kind of aura on you and you only realize things later). He came to our flat, stayed for a bit chatting with mom (and me, but I tend to not chat that much when I can let mom do so lol), and one thing that already bothered me is after a bit, he kind of disrespected mom (did things on his phone as she spoke). We also felt weird, mom and I, with how he looked around our flat (mom had a strong suspicion because his daughter is studying in our town, that he had considered asking us to house her).
Still, I wasn’t yet like, nope. He offered we go out, he and I, and I suggested the park close by, since he commented he didn’t have his wallet. So we walked a bit to the park, saw a part without people, sat on a bench. What’s the first thing he ends up asking? “Would you date me again?”
In hindsight, that does bother me because when I had seen him again, it wasn’t about dating, but just seeing each other. Anyway, I told him yes but that I’m more about building friendships, awkwardly conveying how I’ve got platonic love that can be as strong as romantic love. He’s like, it’s okay, I’m chill. Now comes the part I’m dumb, he puts a hand on my leg, then remove it like the second after. And I just, it’s okay. Like yeah I’m genuinely appreciative of casual affection, but like. I love mom and my bro’s hugs. Not always touchy, but I’m super cuddly when I’m in the touchy mood. Didn’t occur to me until later that in this context, the best thing would have been to keep a certain line with anything that would not be platonic/casual in context. But again: a person with that kind of aura where you only realize things later.
Anyway, he also soon after put his arm around my shoulders, so I had to slide down a bit, so I’m pretty sure we did look like a couple. Which. Kind of does contradict how I just mentionned wanting friendship first; at best he thought I meant a friendship like dating but. And then comes what kind of, made me a bit, ngggg in my head. His first train of thoughts was how we spent a good night (if how quick it was and all about in-and-out is good, I felt nothing) and how it implies he sees me as this person he’s “made love with”. He probably half expected me to say something, but never asked how I felt about it. After that it was more casual chatting, then going back to my home.
The next thing that bothered me a tiny bit, is when we almost arrived (and gods I only realize now, this meant mom wouldn’t be there to hear it, so no risk for him that she points anything out or squint at him), he offered that since next friday he would be more free, we can spent more time together; and then adding he could show me his village. I first am like, sure we can spend more of the day together, but the way I said it suggest we stayed in my town. He mentionned he could show me forest and lakes around his village, and I’m like, tempted because I love nature and by that point, I didn’t have time to process how he’s inching me toward going out of town. So I agree. We go home, he leaves soon after.
One of the major thing is that, once I’m home and chatting with mom about what happened, I felt like... that faint sick feeling you can get when you’re really uncomfy with something? It wasn’t nerves, wasn’t excitement. It was that feel when someone enters your personal space that you’re really not comfy with, you know?
And then later, I texted him to let him know we had something planned friday, though not all day, so instead we can meet up early afternoon. So he tell me okay, and then he’s like, saying he’ll me show around in the weekend (being eager to do so) and in my mind I’m like I never agreed to stay a whole weekend??? And he clearly only spoke off friday earlier in the day, even when I agreed to go to his village.
Fun fact: remembering that day we met, in the morning after, he actually offered that I come with him spend the day at his home (or days? cant recall, too far off, but definitely at least a full day), which I had refused back then. I’m super squint about him trying again, years later, to get me to come to his home.
So yeah I tell him no, I’m not comfortable leaving mom alone for a weekend, and being on my own for a weekend. He seems to take it in stride, “no problem i adapt”. Then once we’re like “so friday afternoon” he adds up we’ll have to see if he, I quote, “sleep with me or go back home”.
I’m like, “sure you can sleep at our flat if needed, but not with me, even just sleeping I’m not comfortable with that”. And come the weird way he replies, first “you mean the couch?” then “sleep at yours, i meant sleep on your couch”. The only way he could have made a mistake is if he meant to say “sleep at yours”, but in french, it sounds weird to have “sleep with you”. Like... You can’t type “sleep with you” and think it’s okay. There’s no way to see it and still think the other person will know you mean “sleep at yours”. Even in english, it sounds weird.
(Also I’m definitely squinting by then at how much he’s basically trying to set it up that he’s around me for a night).
Anyway, I’m like, let it slide, say okay, and voila, no more texts (and I mean, from here on, nothing until I called him yesterday). But all of those little things that bothered me, and the general sense of not feeling that good about seeing him again, kind of lurked in my mind everyday, and like I said, by tuesday I knew I’d tell him I’d rather not date, I still thought about just seeing each other like, try a friendship. But it still didn’t sit well with me, so yesterday I talked more with mom and I felt deeply how I just... didn’t want to see him.
(Mom, meanwhile, was also a bit upset-angry because she can see his facebook; and she disliked how he was, in fact, in town a few times since friday, never once contacted me since last friday; and also suspiciously has a lot of female friends that mom even saw one be like “oh you’re in town? come see me!”. He could have women as friends, but the fact he was in town or didn’t text me once (when I told him at least twice, dont worry you can!) did make me twitch a bit; because again: I was genuine when I spoke of befriending each other, but I don’t know, I’d text at least once or see to see the other if it was me? Regardless of knowing I’d see them, it would be a nice surprise for the other person).
What’s kind of funny is how easily he accepted it (a few years ago, I texted him rather than called, and he called me to have me on phone, and had a tiny attempt to like, talk; and later actually contacted mom like “did you know Chris did that”). Like I was ready to explain a bit, but he just, i understand/i’m intelligent, and soon we hang off. Mom thinks he might have felt this would happen. She also feels that, if she’s right on suspicion, and since he told me he had been in the shower, that he wasn’t alone.
Biggest thing is: how happy I felt once the call finished. I felt the weight lift off me. So that was like, the last big hint I really wasn’t feeling comfortable with him.
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Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer
(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)
(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)
I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).
I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.
What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.
But that’s only half truth.
I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.
I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there
The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.
Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:
THE REVIEW
(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)
The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)
Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.
Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.
The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.
Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.
The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).
3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.
Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)
Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!
Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.
I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.
I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.
Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.
Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.
#suspiria#reviews from a shitty movie goer#lol :')#spoiler alert#tl;dr alert#this review's looooong overdue but f*ck it!#suspiria (2018)#there's a lot i might have missed?#movie review#review
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Surveything
Is there one aspect of yourself that you dont like? Is there more than one?I’m not as strong or smart as I’d like to be. But that’s probably true of everyone. What is something you thought you’d never like, but you enjoy now? A lot of vegetables? X-D Early on I was afraid of driving, but I love it now. Especially at night. I saw a fox, while on the way to work, this evening. You don’t see things like that during the day, very often.
Did your parents ever not let you watch any television shows as a child? My grandmother (who had a significant hand in raising me, much to her resentment) tried to be strict, but mostly she was just glad I was being quiet and out of her hair, so her tendency to enforce things was spotty. My mother might have been more strict about that kind of thing, when I was little, if she hadn’t worked nights and been asleep fairly often when I was at her house. Have you ever betrayed one of your parents in any way at all? Doing what? The shortest and most accurate answer is: not in any way that they didn’t betray me worse. So, not in any way that I regret. But, it asks “doing what” so... examples: In my teens, my mother considered it a betrayal when I answered my late step-father honestly that, yes, she had always been unstable. She also considered it a betrayal, that time she was really drunk and tried to hold me between herself and the police, then got maced when I dodged out of the way. My father considered it a betrayal when he told me to either become more of a part of the family or he would never drive me to work again (which was a fairly empty threat, considering he rarely did in the first place). However, my take on the situation was that any family that pulls you in with threats instead of love and support wasn’t worth being part of, so I took it as my cue to move out and not speak to him for six months. Stuff like that.
What are your favorite stores to go to when you visit the mall? The one here in town is practically empty. But when I go to one that isn’t, I’ll admit to still checking out Hot Topic or Torrid if there is one. I used to love Teavana, before it closed.
What do you want to be your career if you’re not already fufilling it? World-traveling writer.
Have you ever considered yourself a failure at any time in life? I have failed at things, but I’ve never considered myself A Failure. I’m my primary reliable ally, at the end of the day, so there’s no sense getting as down on myself as all that.
Has anyone ever told you they don’t like the way you run your life? Probably, but I wasn’t listening at the time, so I couldn’t give you details.
Do you have any plans for this weekend or are you completely plan-free? Weekend as in my days off: maybe cook a thing, work on the gown for FaerieCon, go out to tea, visit my grandfather at the old folks’ home.
Do you find old people adorable, or have you ever found them quite creepy? Depends on the old person. I rarely find them creepy, but fairly often I do end up finding them disagreeable. There are some adorable ones, though.
Does it bother you when you comment someone’s pictures and they dont even comment you saying ‘thank you’ or comment one of your pictures? Not especially. It’s not something I do that often, anyway.
When was the last time you had a complete meal? What did you eat then? Today I had soup and a sandwich.
Do you like cranberry juice alone? Or do you absolutely loathe it? I like it alright, but there are other juices I like better. Then again, if you mix it with vanilla schnapps you get something that tastes rather like cherry cheesecake, so that’s a point in its favor.
When was the last time you had a shot? Are you behind on those right now? Are we talking booze or inoculation..? X-D
What would you consider the worst movie you’ve ever seen in your life? I don’t remember the title, but it was by that Uwe Boll guy.
Have you ever had a really rare disease, virus, or illness? Nah.
Do you know anyone who works at a department store and absolutely hates it? No one comes to mind, right off the bat.
Do you find yourself to be happier alone or with someone romantically? So far, I find I’m happiest alone. I sometimes think it might be nice to find someone who could break that trend, but enh...
When was the last time you just, genuinely went somewhere with friends? As opposed to un-genuinely...? Weird wording... My roommates and I went out for Indian not too long ago. And I semi-recently went to the art museum with a friend. Or does it have to be multiple friends?
Have you lost any of these friends within the past year, or gained friends? Nope.
Would you consider yourself a hygiene freak, or do you not care much? Kind of in the middle.
When was the last time you had a bug bite? What bg bit you anyway? Mosquito last summer, I think.
Would your parents ever trust you with your own personal credit card? Their trust is immaterial, but at this point yes they would. I’m more responsible with my money than either of them. That said, I don’t do credit cards. I don’t like the idea of owing anyone more money than I have. Debit’s convenient, though.
Are you old enough to live by yourself or are you just mature enough? Both.
Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to be the opposite sex? Enh *anomalous wiggly hand motion* Not especially? Growing up, I tended read so much and so deeply, I’m kind of accustomed to “being” other people. There’s no particular shortage of guy protagonists, so...
When was the last time you had a piece of candy? What kind of candy was it? About an hour ago, one of those mini Mr. Goodbars.
What do you consider to be the best feature on the opposite sex? I don’t consider it enough to really have an answer to this question. Thinking about it now, I think it’s more of an individual thing. Different guys have different best features.
What is one thing you stopped doing just because everyone else stopped? Nothing comes to mind.
Have you ever been considered the freak of your class at any time in life? Hollow laughter goes here.
Would you even want to live if you ever lost your hearing or sight? It’d probably bum me out, but I’d muddle on.
What is one song that you always have the ability to get stuck in your head? Well, thanks to the last question, I have Dory in my head going on about “just keep swimming” but... That Lovecraft version of Piano Man gets stuck, lately. And Black Eyes by David Wirsig. Rebel Rebel by Bowie. Skating Away by Jethro Tull. War Pigs by Black Sabbath. And Israel kamakawiwo'ole’s cover of Over the Rainbow.
Do you have a friend who you absolutely cannot trust at all? No, I get rid of those.
Do you ever pretend to be someone you’re not? Do you live a lie, basically? Only in a writerly/RP sense. That’s allowed, though, I think. :-P
In any time in life have you wanted to become someone different? Sorta-kinda.
When was the last time you had a piece of pie? What kind of pie was it? Too damn long.
What is the main color of clothing you have in your closet right now? Probably black.
Have you ever been to a Sea World before? Which one in which state Nope.
Do you believe in any kind of magic? Is it the stereotypical kind? The witchy kind, not the Hollywood kind.
Are you currently working on any kind of project at this moment in time? I’ve got a couple of writing projects going. And there’s the gown for the Bad Faeries’ Ball at FaerieCon.
What color are your eyes? Do you enjoy your eye color the way it is? Blue. Sure, why not?
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u jensen stans r so delusional. he doesnt give a crap abt any of u. hes a rich entitled straight white guy. hes only being nice to u cuz hes paid n dont wanna lose $. stop being so delusional that he cares abt the fandom. he fakes it. his 15 min will be up n hell be nobody. try staning a REAL nice guy like jared. n ur prob ugly thats why ur hiding in ur pic
Where to even start lol. Ik grammar & shit is lax on the interwebz but DAMN. You are allowed to use capital letters & punctuate sometimes, ya know? Oh the irony. Ya do realize shit you’re bashing Jensen for applies to Jared too, right? Rich straight white guy being paid to do cons. Do you even see your hypocrisy???
If I gave a flying fuck about thoughts in your little troll brain I’d be curious as to why ya think Jensen fans are delusional for thinking he’s a good guy but Jared being a genuine nice fella is irrefutable fact. If ya think bashing Jensen is gonna bait me into doing the same to Jared than you’re even more pathetic. Ya see, Jensen fans are content & happy with our fav & we feel no need to drag anyone else to make our fav look better.
Nooooo, Jensen doesn’t care about any of us one little bit. That’s why every week we get fans posting pix they took with Jensen ON HIS OWN TIME FOR FREE saying how sweet & nice he was. That’s why every single con there’s reports of Jensen being kind & compassionate with nervous fans. That’s why we’re always seeing people post how they told him something personal & he listened attentively. That’s why there’s endless stories out there of his fans thanking him & Jensen responding with grace & humility. And yes, it’s ALL bc of the money bc autos/photo ops are recorded & seen by the entire fandom so if Jensen isn’t a good boy & fake nice to us then he’ll never do a con again & lose out on his paycheck...oh wait.
Idk why you haters act like Jensen getting paid to attend cons & genuinely caring about this fandom is mutually exclusive. Why the hell wouldn’t he take the money for cons? Whether he enjoys ‘em or not they’re still part of his job. But just for money? No. If it was the money that he was after there’s other ways to make it w/o being around a ton of fans ‘he doesn’t care about’ a bunch of weekends a year. He’s a model. He could do plenty of ads/commercials if he wanted more money & have no hassle of all us fans.
His 15 minutes. Is this a joke? You do know what that expression means, right? No, obviously not. Jensen has been in this business over TWO DECADES. He’s not some random flavor of the month. He can never do a damn thing after Spn ends & ‘15 minutes of fame’ wouldn’t apply to him, ya dumbass.
And yes, thank you, I am ugly. Which is exactly why I don’t post pix online bc of assholes like you who sit at your computer & hide behind anon to pick apart other people to make your sad little lives feel better. So I may not be as attractive as I’d like, but there are worse things...like being a pathetic loser troll on the internet with nothing better to do than bug strangers ;-)
#Anonymous#asshole anon#troll smackdown#snarky#Ackles Defense League#jensen ackles#i don't like to tag him in this wank but these trolls need to be called out
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Starco vs Janco
Star sat at the table with her head leaning against her hand. Students passed by with their trays of food. Her friends sat with her, talking about their lackluster class, TV shows they saw last night, the amount of homework they were assigned, and other various topics Star didn't care to pay attention to. Today was one of the rare times she chose not to engage in conversation with her friends. She was too busy mindlessly doodling in her notebook, not because she grew bored of the topic. In fact, Star always had something to contribute to the conversation. She loved talking! It's just that… well, she just had her mind focused on something else.
Or rather, someone else.
Star's been developing feelings for her best friend since that Mewberty incident, and it didn't take her long to realize what was going on. She denied feeling anything for Marco other than a platonic friendship in fear it would ruin their very unique relationship, but as time passed by, her crush for Oskar shifted to her best friend. She laughed it off at first, thinking how silly the whole situation was and that she'd be over Marco in a few days. Star tried to pretend it wasn't there and forced herself to look at other boys and see if she could form a crush on one of them, but none of them impressed her. Not even Oskar. It only made her want to be with Marco even more. It annoyed her because she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship with her best friend. She was afraid things wouldn't work out and their status as best friends would disappear and they would never talk to each other again. So instead, she suppressed her feelings for Marco, and only wrote about it in her secret journal. Of course, during class, she'd start going off in her own thoughts and start drawing or writing about the possibilities of a Starco relationship. She'd be extra careful to keep those close to her and not let anyone see-
"How about you, Star?"
Star jumped in her seat, covering her drawings with her arms. She met with two sets of eyes staring at her. "Huh?"
"I said do you think you can make it?" Jackie asked.
"..."
"This weekend?"
"..."
"...Movies?"
The princess seemed confused for a moment before coming back to reality. "Ohhhhh! Uh- yeah, movies! Um… That sounds good! I can totally do that! Haha…"
Jackie smiled. "Alright, sweet. Guess we got ourselves a plan."
"You sure are getting distracted, Star. You okay?" Janna asked.
"Yeah, everything alright?"
Star scoffed, waving her hands. "Pfft, yeah of course! Why would you think something's wrong?"
"Well, for starters, you're clearly hiding something in your notebook..."
The princess looked down to see herself covering the book with her entire body. She blushed a bit, sitting comfortably back in her seat, bringing the drawing closer to her. "Well…" she started. "You never know. A monster could come out of nowhere and steal my wand like they usually do! They might destroy my notes!"
Janna spoke up. "I don't know, Star. No offense, but you don't usually take notes during class. Or… try at all, really."
"Wha- I try!"
"You drew cats on your math test."
"You handed in a paper on Mewni corn for biology."
"You tried to go to another dimension in the middle of class."
Star opened her mouth but had nothing to retort. "...Uhhhh…. I was bored?" she answered with a shrug.
Jackie chuckled. "Well, you can say that, but still doesn't explain why you're hiding your notebook like that."
"...Orrr maybe you're talking about your little crush in that notebook," Janna suggested.
Star felt her face turn hot as the attention turned to her. A crush? She can't tell them about how she felt about Marco! That'd make things way more complicated than it has to be. "I-I dont know what you're talking about. You guys are probably imagining things. I don't have a crush."
Jackie pointed to her cheeks. "Your glowing hearts say you do."
She quickly brought her hands to her face, cursing at her birthmarks. "I'm telling you, I don't have a crush on Marco!"
"Who said anything about Marco?" Janna pointed out.
The princess's heart stopped. Oops. "I-I didn't- I mean… I- that was- well-"
Jackie tilted her head. "Ohhh, so you admit it? You guys are dating!"
Star waved her hands, trying to defend herself. "No no no no no! I don't! Really! Besides, he likes you after all-" She covered her mouth. Oops again. She didn't mean to spill Marco's secret like that. Both Jackie and Janna looked at each other. "Please, don't tell Marco I said that!"
The two human girls seemed confused, keeping silent for a moment before Janna started, "I think you have it wrong, Star."
"What do you mean?"
Jackie chimed in. "You do know he's over me, right?" she said with a hint of sadness. The girl didn't seem too bothered by it though. She accepted the facts and moved on.
"He… is?" Star asked in disbelief that her best friend didn't tell her something as important as that to her. She felt a bit betrayed. Marco told her everything! "I'm… sorry to hear that." Star genuinely meant it, but she couldn't help but feel a bit of happiness at the same time.
"Yeah. No big deal though, so don't worry about it."
"So… who does he like now?"
The two girls glanced at each other again before looking back at the princess. "You're… joking, right? I mean…" Jackie trailed off, unsure of what to say.
"It's… kind of obvious, isn't it?" Janna asked.
"He kinda said it outloud one time."
Star grew slightly annoyed at the seemingly obvious answer that everyone already knew. "What? When? Who does he like?"
The girls were silent. They weren't sure what to say next, but a subtle smile appeared on Janna. "Oh? Getting curious, are we?"
Star's cheeks grew more red, her hearts glowing even more. "No! I mean, yes. I just… want to know. As his best friend, it's my duty to make sure he's as happy as can be!"
"Right. 'Best friends'." Janna said with a smirk.
"Janna!"
Jackie laughed. "Don't worry, Star. I don't think you have anything to worry about. The point is, Marco's available. So a certain someone could make a move," she suggested, hinting at Star.
The thought of her and Marco together as a couple filled the princess with joy and excitement. Maybe it could happen!
"But…" Janna continued.
Star's daydream was cut short at the sudden catch. "But?"
"Well, you got some competition. And you know what they say about love and war."
Star didn't quite understand what Jackie was trying to say. "No. Competition? Love and war? What does love and war have to do with each other?"
Janna responded. "Love is a battlefield. Do anything you can to win. And sorry to tell you this, Star, but I plan on winning. Friend or no friend," she said with a smirk. She held out her hand to Star.
It took a second to process what Janna meant before the princess understood what she was saying. "Ohhhh…. Okay…. Well, sorry to tell you this, Janna, but I also plan on winning," Star accepted the terms she was offering, shaking her hand.
First to Marco's heart wins.
"Yyyyeah, I think I'm gonna sit this one out, but good luck to both of you," Jackie said as she watched her friends begin their competition.
Star went back to her drawing, making her subtle depiction of her and Marco more refined when it dawned on her. Star slowed her pencil to a complete stop as the realization set in her mind. She had to confess to her best friend.
She had to confess to her best friend.
"Uh-oh…"
------------------------------
"Stupid stupid stupid stupid Star!" The princess scolded herself as she trailed behind the very boy she was supposed to win over. The two walked through the halls as the final bell rang, signalling that the day was over and the students were free at last. She felt her heart race at the challenge she just accepted from Janna. "Am I crazy!?" she muttered to herself. "I already decided not to do anything like that! I might not be friends with Marco anymore if it doesn't work out! I can't live like that!"
"I gotta say, Star, your angry whispering is kind of making me nervous. You're not trying out that new spell Glossaryck showed you, are you?" Marco asked as he looked behind him to see why Star seemed so distracted.
Star looked up, making eye contact with his chocolate colored eyes. "O-oh, no I'm fine. Just… uh… thinking about that one history class! Ugh, so boring."
Marco smiled. "Yeah, it's not my favorite class either. At least you stayed awake this time."
"Thanks to that extra sugar pack I had. I'm telling you, Marco, you should try some sugar burritos! It's totally the best thing ever-"
"Yeah, no thanks. I like my food pure and holy."
Star scoffed. "Please, Marco, It's hardly the worst thing in the universe to eat."
"No, but it is-"
"Hey, Marco. Star." The two friends stopped to see a certain beanie wearing girl leaning against the lockers. "Fancy meeting you here."
Marco sighed. "Hey, Janna."
Star was cautious. She recalled their challenge and decided to keep a careful eye on her friend. She chose her words carefully, hinting at an underlying message with each question. "Hey, Janna. What's up?" What are you up to?
Her rival had no trouble understanding the message. "Not much. Just thought I'd say hi to my friends." I'm here to see if you made your move yet.
"Awww, that's so sweet! We're actually going downtown to eat grab some food, right now." No, I didn't. Don't interrupt my attempt!
"Ohhh, that sounds fun. Better hurry, though. I hear they're gonna close early today." Better do it fast, or else.
Star feigned a smile at her friend, who simply smirked at the princess' reaction. She began to understand the 'all's fair in love and war' idea. Janna would try at Marco's heart, even if Star was in the middle of her attempt. She assumed that this was Janna's way of warning her of how she's planning on playing this game. Fair enough. Star accepted the challenge.
"Are you sure about that Janna?" Marco asked. "I don't think there's anything special going on at the store," he commented, completely oblivious to what was going on.
"Eh. Just a hunch. Anyway, I should get going. I hope you guys get what you need." I hope you win him over, or else I will.
With that, the dark haired girl left, leaving the two best friends in the middle of the hallway.
"You know, I was kind of expecting her to mess with me somehow… like she usually does…" Marco said with both relief and annoyance.
Star nervously laughed. "I'm sure Janna was just saying hi." She cleared her throat and skipped ahead, pulling Marco along. "C'mon, let's go get some food!"
-----------------------------------------
Attempt 1
"Ooohhhhhh Marcoooooo~!" Star sang aloud.
"Ohhhhhhhh Staaarrrrrr~" Marco responded in kind.
"Come heeeerrrrrreeeeee!"
"Okaaaayyyyyyyyy!" The boy entered the kitchen. "What's up, Sta….aaar….." He scanned the room, seeing what looked like a warzone of food splattered everywhere, from the floor to the ceiling. "Starrrr? What did you do?"
"Look, Marco! I made something for you!" She ignored his question and presented a bowl of…. something edible… possibly… Needless to say, it definitely didn't look very appetizing.
"Um… w-what is this?" Marco asked, taking a step back from the bowl of 'food'.
"It's pizza!" the princess proudly answered.
Marco looked at her in shock. "Pizza!?" The mass of ingredients looked nothing like pizza! Why does it look like everything from the refrigerator mashed into one lump? Why did she suddenly have the urge to make pizza when they could've ordered it? WHY DID SHE MAKE PIZZA IN A BOWL?
"Weeellll? Aren't you going to take a taste?" Star asked excitedly. She was sure this would win Marco's heart. After all, food is the best way to get to a man.
The boy gently pushed it back. "Uhhh… you know, I'm really full from lunch still, and I should really save my appetite for dinner-"
"Awww, Marco, pleeeeaaaaase?" The princess gave her best puppy eyes.
Marco hesitated before giving in, taking the bowl and spoon from her. "...Well… here goes nothing."
Star's eyes widened as he brought a spoonful of her pizza into his mouth. "Weeeellllll? What do you think? Pretty good, right?"
Marco was frozen in place, the spoon still in his mouth.
"...Marco?"
"..."
He collapsed.
--------------------------------------------
Attempt 2
"Star, we went through twelve different dimensions. What are you looking for?"
"Uhhh, just… you know, something…"
"That's specific…" Marco muttered. "Maybe we should-"
"RAWR!" Suddenly, a poorly crafted monster suit jumped out of a nearby bushes.
"Ahhh, don't worry, Marco! I'll save you!" Star said in a somewhat monotone voice. Her previous attempt didn't work out very well, considering her meal left Marco unconscious for several hours. This time, she would have a monster come and attack the two, she would save Marco (again), and possibly have him fall in love with her. Of course, she didn't want Marco to actually get hurt, so she asked one of Marco's friends.
...It's bound to work better than her pizza idea, right?
"Back, you monster!" She swung at the fake monster, not using any real magic.
"RAWR- ow! Hey that hurt."
"Shhh! Be quiet, Ferguson. You're going give it away!" she whispered anrily. "Don't make me use my spider with a tophat, you beast! Get out of here, Marco! It's too dangerous!"
Marco waved. "Hey Ferguson."
"Hi Marco- Ow!"
"Ferguson!" Star glared at the boy. He shrugged, smiling apologetically. She sighed. Time for a new plan.
----------------------------------------------------------
Attempt 3
Star opened her locker, pulling out the books she needed for the next class. She had some trouble thinking of what her next move would be. Cooking was out, dimension hopping wasn't as romantic as she thought, monster fighting was a no…
"Why can't I think of anything! We do everything together! It should be easy!" She stopped herself. That's right… they did everything together. They talked, ate, and adventured everywhere. Never once have they done something without the other. Well, there were a few special cases, but there was no room for a romantic attempt. There was nothing unique she could do… except tell him the truth. Star began to panic. "Oh no… no no no no no, that's too direct. Gotta be something else I can do…"
"Make any progress, Star?"
She jumped at the sudden question. She closed her locker to see Janna standing behind it. "Janna?"
"Hmm… by the way you're panicking, I'd say no."
Star sighed. "It's harder than it seems, Janna."
The girl chuckled. "Yeah, I know. I do it all the time, remember?"
"Uuugh, I can't get anywhere with Marco! We already do everything together so I can't make things special!"
"Well, you better think of something fast, or I'll have to take charge," Janna threatened.
That caught Star's attention. She moved closer to Janna, her eyes pleading her not to do anything yet. "Pleeeaaaaaase let me have some more time!"
"Mmmmm… no."
"But Janna, we're friends! I just need a little time to-"
"Love and war, Star. I already gave you plenty of time to do it yourself, remember?"
The princess grew more annoyed at her friend's stubborness. "Why do you like him anyway?"
Janna thought for a moment before shrugging. "I dunno."
"Janna!"
"What? I just do. I think that's reason enough."
"That's not a reason!"
"Sure it is. And you're gonna lose this game soon if you don't get a move on." Star didn't appreciate Janna's reminder. She knew she had to move quick or Janna was going to do whatever it is she needs to do to win Marco over. Janna's eyes widened before giving a mischievous smirk. "So, why do you like Marco? Because he's cute?"
Star's hearts began to glow on her cheeks. "U-uh… I'm sure you can imagine…"
"No, I don't. Why do you like Marco, Star?" she repeated.
"Well… he's kind, he's funny, he's lovable, he's… ahem… handsome… he's the best friend I ever had… and after spending so much time with him, I just… kind of… started to like him. More than a bestie should… That answer your question?"
Janna smiled. "I think it does. How about you, Marco? You get all that?"
Star's heart nearly jumped out of her chest as she turned around to face Marco. "M-Marco! I- we- Janna and I were just… just… playing a game! Yeah!"
"Oh, we were playing a game alright," Janna snickered, trying to contain herself.
"Um…. sooooo….. how's your day going?" Star asked innocently, trying to keep herself composed.
Marco was unconvinced. "What were you two talking about…?"
"Yeah, Star. What were we talking about?" Janna chimed in, still laughing.
The princess tried to think of a way out of this mess, but couldn't think of a plausible excuse. "We… were… talking about… uh..." She continued to postpone the answer, dragging every second out.
Janna finally stopped her laughing and answered for her. "We were talking about how she has a major crush on you and everything."
Star stared at Janna, shocked that she actually said the truth.
It was over. Now Marco knew. And he probably won't want to speak to her again.
So ends the best friendship she ever had.
"That's all?" Marco asked.
Star was… surprised at his response. "What do you… what- but… I- you just found out that I like you, Marco! What do you mean, 'that's it'?"
Marco shrugged. "Well, I didn't just find out. We're already boyfriend and girlfriend, aren't we?"
Star stared at Marco, both in confusion and shock.
"...We… are boyfriend and girlfriend, aren't we?" he asked again, this time more concerned that Star was having second thoughts.
The princess was utterly confused. Her… and Marco? Boyfriend and girlfriend? She turned to Janna who couldn't stop laughing. "I-I can't take this anymore, hahaha! I'll leave you two lovebirds alone!"
Janna walked away to her next class, leaving the two best friends behind.
"You and I… are together?"
"Remember? I confessed to you and asked if you'd be my girlfriend?" Marco started. Star simply stared at Marco in disbelief. "...Star, were you listening to me when I said all this a week ago?"
"Uhhhhh…."
"When we were in that mirror dimension?"
"..."
"We were being chased by a monster and I confessed because I thought we were going to die?"
"..."
Marco sighed, a slight blush appearing on his face. "Well… lemme try again… Star… I really like you and… would you be my girlfr-"
He was cut off by a pair of lips. He was stunned to see Star kissing him so suddenly, but quickly melted into it. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him with all her bottled up emotions.
Finally.
They parted, their faces red with embarrassment. They stared into each other's loving eyes, coming closer once again. As they were about to kiss again, Marco quietly spoke up…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
"...You really don't remember me saying any of this?"
"Oh, be quiet, you."
#starco#star butterfly#star vs the forces of evil#star and marco#svtfoe#marco diaz#janna ordonia#starco vs janco#fanfic
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69 times James Blunt was laugh-out-loud funny on Twitter
LONDON — The title of "funniest British person on Twitter" is a hotly contested one.
Obviously Danny Dyer has a very strong Twitter game, and rarely a day goes by when J.K. Rowling doesn't tweet something brilliant.
SEE ALSO: 21 of the most hilarious and disturbing Ricky Gervais selfies of all time
But there's another contender who could give both of them a run for their money.
With his unique mix of brutal self-deprecation, even more brutal comebacks, and gloriously filthy ripostes, James Blunt has a Twitter game that contrasts spectacularly with his gentle song lyrics.
We've rounded up some of his best efforts below.
1. This straight-to-the-point album announcement.
If you thought 2016 was bad - I'm releasing an album in 2017.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 13, 2016
2. The time he shared an important warning.
*WARNING* if you see an email saying, "2 free tickets to James Blunt", DO NOT open it. It contains 2 free tickets to James Blunt.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) August 27, 2011
3. This memorable comeback.
Damn thing's always getting caught under my feet. RT @laurenlyall: Why does James Blunt sing like his willy is being stood on?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 16, 2013
4. This weather update.
This is the sort of snow that makes me strip off and start singing...
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 14, 2013
5. The time he saw the perfect opportunity to plug his new music.
NO NEED. I HAVE A NEW ALBUM COMING SOON. @katy_nicolson: Can we all take a moment and remember just how terrible James Blunt was
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) February 18, 2013
6. This unfortunate anecdote.
I just overheard someone say to their friend, "Look there's a smaller version of James Blunt!"
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) April 29, 2013
7. This spectacularly empathetic response.
Me too. And even worse, I realised I was! @shigham77 @Lloydy_78 I'm having a bad weekend, some guy just asked me if I was James Blunt!?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 2, 2013
8. The time he told a harsh truth.
I swear on my life, I don't. RT @Espinalx3: No worries at least James Blunt thinks you are beautiful.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 11, 2013
9. The time he offered some words of comfort.
As long as she didn't say you sing like me, you're fine RT @NathWimlett: the lady in the post office told me i look like James Blunt #hmmmm
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 10, 2013
10. The time he made an important correction.
Even less than that! The song was only 3 minutes and 30 seconds long. RT @_dearjocelyn: James Blunt had his 15 min of fame and disappeared
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 15, 2013
11. And another.
2006, actually. RT @K_Dick33: Why does James Blunt have a million followers? He stopped being relevant in 2009
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 30, 2015
12. The time he finished someone's sentence in the dirtiest way possible.
Stays in James Blunt. RT @iAreAbby: Whatever happens to James Blunt.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 25, 2013
13. The time he shared this person's dismay.
Agreed. Worse than catching him playing with himself. RT @SmokeySunflower: Caught my brother listening to James Blunt. Wow.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 25, 2013
14. The time he spotted a flaw in this fan's request.
Sorry, but my last name is not spelt 'mcfly' RT @jamesmcflyfan: James, I am your biggest fan. Please follow me. Please.it would make my day
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) August 13, 2013
15. This smooth response.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to get to the back of the queue. RT @Alif_novaldi: Fuck you james blunt
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 8, 2013
16. This simple explanation.
My mum's in the audience. RT @AtaraMcBooth: Who the fuck is cheering for fucking James Blunt.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 11, 2013
17. The time he embraced his critics.
Thanks! Whole album out next Mon! RT @DeirdreHipwell: Have managed to avoid James blunt's new song until now. Bonfire Heart is truly awful.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 15, 2013
18. The time he made someone's day that little bit worse.
Yes. He could start tweeting you. RT @MigsterMMA: Jesus christ, James Blunt's got a new album out. Is there anything else that can go wrong?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 20, 2013
19. This biblical retort.
Jesus only needed twelve. RT @garymoody65: @JamesBlunt why you only got 200k followers?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 29, 2013
20. And this one.
Your god can't hear you. He's listening to track 3. RT @HollieShand: Oh god...who let James Blunt release another album?!
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 10, 2013
21. OK, one more.
I did, but you'll NEVER guess what happened on the third day!? RT @gravedads: I thought James Blunt died
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 14, 2013
22. The time he spotted a typo.
Easy spelling mistake as K and L are right beside each other. RT @lizziea1: I want to kick James Blunt... repeatedly... I dont know why
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 24, 2013
23. The time he totally shut down this hater.
I never liked the sound of my own voice. Till it made me rich. @SamanthaMika: Does anyone else HATE james blunt's voice? I can't stand it.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) November 1, 2013
24. This cheerful play on words.
Most of them are single. RT @xox_Shell_xox: Is there one single James Blunt fan out there?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 8, 2013
25. And this one.
Viagra and coffee mostly. RT @paigefergg: Bloody hell why is James Blunt still going
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 12, 2013
26. The time he refused to admit he's a James Blunt fan.
Nope, you're on your own. RT @chickenoriental: I must be 1 of only 2 who genuinely likes every @jamesblunt song. The other person being him.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 12, 2013
27. The time he brought your mum into things.
Boning your mum. RT @Charlie_1232: James Blunt has a twitter, what would he even tweet about?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 3, 2014
28. And your grandma.
Only coz I turned her down. RT @anadinskywalker: my grandma just called james blunt a queer
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 15, 2013
29. Your "missus", too.
As does your missus. RT @teamtommo58: James blunt your music sucks #fact
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 31, 2013
30. Oh, and your mum again.
Because I won't pay the child support? RT @Buizel0418: My mom hates James Blunt. xD
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 10, 2014
31. The time he made a confession.
Only I was drunk at the time. RT @tianpogiaf: People who think you're beautiful - 1. Your parents 2. James Blunt
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 16, 2013
32. The time he refused to let rhyming slang get him down.
I foresee a career in poetry. @McKym: James blunt is a cunt
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 31, 2013
33. This absolute mic drop.
And no mortgage. RT @hettjones: James Blunt just has an annoying face and a highly irritating voice
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 24, 2013
34. And this one.
Prince Harry. By text. BOOM! RT @dinolauz: Who the fuck invited James Blunt to the Invictus Games?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) May 10, 2016
35. This response to an international critic.
Correct. I am indeed hung like a pony. @jazz_mazz: James Blunt is ja auch eher so ein one trick pony oder?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 4, 2014
36. The time he didn't even need words.
RT @JordanSHill: What ever happened to James Blunt? pic.twitter.com/ahCI6N9ZRn
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 16, 2014
37. This canine-themed burn.
Then your dog should try harder. RT @RachelJohnsto96: @JamesBlunt my dog could do better!!!!!
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 10, 2014
38. This "2 Girls, 1 Cup"-themed burn.
I preferred "2 girls, 1 cup", but whatever you're into. RT @joe__crown: 2 bullets, one gun, James Blunt and Noel Edmunds.. Without doubt
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 16, 2013
39. This gloriously filthy comeback.
Sorry. Wrong hole. RT @Sam_SamV: James Blunt makes my ears bleed
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 20, 2014
40. And this one.
And finishes in your mouth. RT @trimjim90: James Blunt gets on my tits.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) February 21, 2014
41. This one, too.
At least it’s not on your face. RT @MiissAshley: Nothing fucks your vibe up more than James Blunt coming on your Young Money Pandora 🔫
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) September 16, 2014
42. Alright, one more.
And my balls on your chin. RT @thejrodman: Now I have James Blunt stuck in my head...
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) July 6, 2014
43. The time he made an important announcement.
Proud to announce that I will be headlining at ShitFest this year.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) February 7, 2014
44. Not to mention this equally important update.
Am making a solo sex tape. Will leak it online shortly.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) March 8, 2014
45. The time he shared his version of food porn.
#foodporn pic.twitter.com/CPkwU4BfqN
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) April 26, 2014
46. The time he refused to give Ed Sheeran special treatment.
@JamesBlunt marry me?
— Ed Sheeran (@edsheeran) February 7, 2014
These kind of requests need to go through management, please. RT @edsheeran: @JamesBlunt marry me?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) February 7, 2014
47. The time he compared himself to Justin Bieber.
Can't believe Justin Bieber's balls dropped before mine.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) March 17, 2014
48. The time he gave some medical advice.
Then you need to see a doctor. @Lewisscoot: @JamesBlunt looks like my left testicle
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) April 30, 2014
49. The time he shared his "guilty pleasure".
Mine is anal. RT @OliviaMae_98: James Blunt is my guilty pleasure 😍
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) August 8, 2014
50. His explanation for the lack of tour dates in Scotland.
The Scots have taste. RT @heatherhjordisX: Why is james blunt not touring in scotland??????
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) July 30, 2014
51. This abrupt update.
Struggling to finish off with my left hand.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) July 26, 2014
52. His suggestion for a band name.
If I was in a band, it would be called, "Limp Willy And The Disappointments"
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) August 9, 2014
53. This timeless reply.
It's only halfway in. RT @Thomasemaan: Just realized how short James Blunt is !!!
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) December 19, 2014
54. And this one.
Unless I find your bum. RT @zomboy666: I've got fucking James Blunt in my head. I suppose at least that means my day can't get any worse.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 16, 2015
55. This name-changing anecdote.
My real name is James Blount, but I changed it as people teased me that it rhymed with 'count'.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) November 19, 2014
56. The time he made an important distinction.
I was talking to the driver. RT @Chelsea_Goulden: Just got in a taxi and You're Beautiful by James Blunt is playing. Why thank you kind sir😂
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) November 23, 2014
57. This harsh wakeup call.
Not even I think you’re beautiful.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 3, 2015
58. The time he showed off his hilarious powers of self-deprecation.
Yup, it's called "Greatest Hit". RT @Farrsigh: There's a "best of" James Blunt? Really?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 8, 2015
59. Actually, he's done this on quite a few occasions.
Sorry haven’t Tweeted in a while. I Blocked myself by mistake.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 17, 2016
60. Lots of occasions.
For Lent, I've given up music. There is a god.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) February 20, 2015
61. This might be our favourite one.
On this week, 10 years ago, your music taste sucked ass. pic.twitter.com/eQ6clu6F2h
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) July 23, 2015
62. The time he expected the worst.
I'm guessing this is not good. RT @supermarton: James Blunt es lo peor que le ha pasado a la humanidad desde Hitler
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) January 23, 2015
63. The time he chipped in with his thoughts on Eurovision.
You know we’d win the Eurovision Song Contest if you just had the balls to enter me.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) March 9, 2015
64. This name change.
ANNOUNCEMENT: In keeping with other greats such as Prince, J Lo and Diddy, I announce that henceforth, I am to be known only as J Blo.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) April 1, 2015
65. This no-nonsense burn.
Yeah, I bought those 20 million albums myself. RT @TroyJosephDavis: no one really likes James Blunt right?
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) April 17, 2015
66. The time he celebrated his Spotify income.
I get paid £00.0004499368 per stream. Beers are on me! Cheers @Spotify.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) October 17, 2015
67. This smutty riposte.
Depends where I put it. RT @paulinaboncan: Little bit of james blunt never hurt anybody
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 3, 2016
68. This one, too.
Then sit on something else. RT @PhoebeChristaki: James Blunt's face fully aggravates me
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 21, 2016
69. And finally, what may be the greatest tweet of all time.
I’d fuck me.
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) June 1, 2015
James Blunt may have a new album coming out this year, but we really, really hope he still finds the time to tweet.
BONUS: Ramsay Bolton is basically the secret Ed Sheeran of 'GoT'
#_author:Sam Haysom#_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL#_uuid:6849392f-68f7-33e6-9ed4-86d2549e5c8d#_revsp:news.mashable
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Swipe Right Episode 1 Transcript
Suggested Host Lead: Dating Apps have been on the rise lately! i wondered what peoples takes on said applications were. Alex is a 22 Year old from Long Island, New York. he had been in a relationship for a while before he was able to dive in to the new era of Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, JSwipe, Coffee Meets Bagel… you know dating apps!
CUT 1: “WE MET AT DIZZYS BUT SHE HAD LIVED ON MY FLOOR SO I HAD ONLY SPOKEN TO HER WHEN WE HAD FLOOR MEETINGS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR AND THEN SHE ASKED ME TO MEET HER AT DIZZYS AND THEN YOU KNOW..”
HEARING ABOUT HOW HIS PAST RELATIONSHIP WAS LONG LASTING MADE ME WONDER IF PUTTING HIMSELF OUT THERE ON TINDER WAS INTIMIDATING AT ALL
CUT 2: “THE RUNNING JOKE IS YOU KNOW YOU WANNA MAKE SURE YOURE NEVER DATING A SERIAL KILLER AND DOING THIS KIND OF GIVES YOU MORE OF A FEEL TO WHO THEY ARE AS A PERSON AND YOURE NOT CAUGHT OFF GUARD AS MUCH
UHH NO I DIDNT PUT ENOUGH INCRIMINATING STUFF OUT THERE THAT SOMEONE WOULD WANNA CATFISH ME UMM BUT I CAN SEE HOW OTHER PEOPLE THAT I KNOW PERSONALLY WOULD UHH FALL VICTIM TO THAT”
WITH ALL THAT IS OUT THERE NOW WITH PEOPLE PRETENDING TO BE OTHER PEOPLE ONE MUST ALWAYS BE CAREFUL ABOUT KNOWING WHO THEY ARE TALKING TO ONLINE! HOWEVER BESIDES THAT ALEX FELT LIKE THIS WOULD BE THE RIGHT OUTLET FOR HIS NEWLY SINGLE LIFE
CUT 3: “IT DEFINITELY MAKES YOU MORE NATURAL BECAUSE YOU HAVE MORE PRACTICE AT IT AND MORE EXPERIENCE LIKE MY FRIEND WHO WILL ALSO REMAIN NAMELESS WHO ALSO JUST CAME OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP TOLD ME AT A BAR THE OTHER NIGHT HE SAID “I NEED YOU TO HELP ME TALK TO WOMEN” AND I SAID “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE ON TINDER ALL THE TIME LIKE YOU HIT UP SO MANY GIRLS ” AN HE SAYS ‘I CAN ONLY TALK ONLINE I CANT TALK TO PEOPLE IN PERSON’ AND I WAS LIKE THATS JUST LIKE FINDING OUT LANCE ARMSTRONG CHEATED YOU KNOW I WAS VERY SHOCKED AT WHAT HAPPENED”
THERE ARE SOME CONCERNS TO THESE DATING APPS OF COURSE
CUT 4: “ITS DIFFERENT THAN TALKING IN PERSON AND FOR SOME PEOPLE THEY CAN ONLY DO ONE OR THE OTHER SO FOR THOSE PEOPLE MAYBE YOU SHOULD WATCH OUT A LITTLE BIT AND WORK ON YOUR ONE ON ONE INTERACTIONS BUT PRIOR TO ME BEING ON THERE I COULD TALK TO ANY PERSON JUST FINE BUT I WOULD COME OFF AS INCREDIBLY AWKWARD ONLINE LIKE SOMEONE YOU’D WANT TO CALL CHRIS HANSEN ON”
ALEX BEGAN HIS JOURNEY IN SEARCH FOR A NEW COMPANION THIS TIME DOING IT DIFFERENTLY… MORE MODERNLY.. BUT WAS HE HESITANT TO DIP HIS TOES IN THE WATER?
CUT 5:” I WASN’T HESITANT AT ALL I WAS WORRIED THAT BECAUSE I HAD BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 3 AND A HALF YEARS WHEN ALL THIS STUFF HAPPENED THAT I WAS BEHIND THE EIGHT BALL AND WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING AND THAT MADE ME NOT HESITANT BUT A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED THAT I WOULD HAVE TO CATCH UP”
HE SPOKE A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HOW HIS SUCCESS STORY WASN'T SUCH A SUCCESS AT FIRST
CUT 6: “SO THE FIRST WEEKEND THAT I BECAME SINGLE OUT OF MY OLD RELATIONSHIP I WENT UP TO COLGATE UNIVERSITY UM TO GO TO WHAT WAS THERE SPRING PARTY WEEKEND WHERE THEY HAVE ALL THE FESTIVALS AND STUFF AND I WAS STAYING AT THE FOOTBALL FRAT WITH MY BEST FRIEND AND OTHER THAN HIM AND A FEW OTHERS I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW ANYBODY UP THERE ESPECIALLY WOMEN AND I DID NOT WANT TO SPEND THIS WEEKEND WITHOUT AT FEMALE COMPANION SO THAT REALLY ENCOURAGED ME TO SWIPE RIGHT ON PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING ALIVE… DIDN'T GET MUCH BACK… HOWEVER MY GAME IMPROVED OVER TIME AND I AM VERY PROUD TO SAY THAT.”
AND IMPROVE IT SURELY DID
CUT 7: “ONE DAY I SWIPED ON THIS GIRL AND I NOTICED THAT HER BIO SAID THAT SHE WAS A BIG NEW YORK RANGERS FAN AND BEING THE SASSY ISLANDERS FAN THAT I AM I DECIDED TO MESSAGE HER “I THINK THE SENATORS ARE GONNA BEAT THE RANGERS IN SIX GAMES” BECAUSE THEY WERE PLAYING IN THE PLAYOFFS AT THAT TIME AND SHES TOLD ME SINCE THAT SHE WAS CONSIDERING NOT ANSWERING ME BECAUSE WHAT I SAID WAS SO INCREDIBLY RUDE AND ANNOYING UHH NEVERTHELESS IT ENDED UP LEADING TO WHATS GONNA BE A SIX MONTH RELATIONSHIP ACTUALLY IN A FEW WEEKS”
MARK IS A 26 YEAR OLD MALE WHOS LUCK WASNT QUITE THE SAME AS ALEX
CUT 8: “UM WELL TINDER FOR ME HONESTLY ITS NOT MY BEST PREFERENCE I���VE USED IT FOR A COUPLE YEARS NOW AND YOU KNOW ITS I FEEL LIKE ITS MOSTLY CURIOSITY FACTOR OF WHO YOURE GONNA MATCH UP WITH. I DONT THINK ANYTHINGS REALLY GENUINE THAT COMES OUT OF IT YOU KNOW IVE MET UP WITH A COUPLE PEOPLE UMM OUT OF IT. ACTUALLY OUT OF A COUPLE HUNDRED… MAYBE TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY PEOPLE IVE PROBABLY ONLY MET UP WITH ONLY MAYBE ABOUT 5 PEOPLE WHICH IS PRETTY SAD AND EVEN OUT OF THAT I WOULD SAY MAYBE ABOUT 5% OF THAT I EVEN MESSAGE. LIKE I SAID ITS MOSTLY LIKE A CURIOSITY FACTOR UMM DATING SITES FOR OTHER PEOPLE LIKE FOR EXAMPLE MY PARENTS MET ON A DATING SITE AND THEYRE HAPPILY MARRIED AND I HAVE NO COMPLAINTS I HAVE A GREAT STEPDAD NOW. SO I MEAN CLEARLY IT WORKS OUT FOR SOME PEOPLE. I HAVE ALSO SOME FRIENDS WHERE THEY YOU KNOW GOT SOME SUCCESS BUT ITS UH I FEEL LIKE ITS ITS WEIRD ITS VERY IMPERSONAL AT FIRST UM MESSAGING EVEN BECAUSE THE GIRL NEVER IS GOING TO MESSAGE YOU FIRST, IT’S A VERY RARE OCCURRENCE SO FOR A GUY YOU EITHER HAVE TO COME WITH SOME VERY YOU KNOW IMPRESSIVE FIRST PICK UP LINE YOU GOTTA MAKE THEM LAUGH OR EVEN JOKE ABOUT THEM OR ONE OF THEIR PICTURES LIKE YOU HAVE TO SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM OTHER PEOPLE AND YOU KNOW PICK UP LINES DONT WORK ANYMORE ESPECIALLY CORNY ONES.
BESIDES CORNY PICK UP LINES AND PRIMPED OUT PICTURES AND BIOS I WANTED TO KNOW OF SOME NOT SO GREAT EXPERIENCES HE HAD ENTAILED MEETING UP WITH WOMEN FROM TINDER
CUT 9: “UMM I MEAN MAJORITY OF THE CASES WH- ARE THAT WHEN I MEET I WOULD SAY ABOUT 80% OF THE TIME I MEET UP WITH THE GIRL SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE PICTURES SHE YOU KNOW SHE POSTED. THEY MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK WAY BETTER THAN THEY ACTUALLY SEEM UNFORTUNATELY BUT I FEEL LIKE A LOT OF PEOPLE DO THAT SO THATS KINDA WHY YOU KNOW I KINDA TOOK A PAUSE ON AND HAVEN'T REALLY USED IT IN THE PAST COUPLE MONTHS UMM I THINK ME PERSONALLY I LIKE GOING OUT UMM I FEEL LIKE MY PERSONALITY OUTWEIGHS MY LOOKS SO YOU KNOW THAT HELPS ME, MEETING PEOPLE IN PERSON UMM BUT ALSO ANOTHER PROBLEM WITH TINDER I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE DON’T SETTLE DOWN ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY HAVE INFINITE AMOUNT OF OPTIONS SO THATS THE ONE DOWNFALL BUT YOU KNOW IT IS COOL HAVING YOU KNOW YOU COULD LITERALLY MEET WHOEVER AROUND THE WORLD. BACK IN THE DAY PEOPLE WOULD JUST YOU KNOW WOULD ONLY MEET PEOPLE IN THEIR TOWN AND YOU KNOW THEY WOULD HAVE TO SETTLE BUT NOW WITH ALL THESE DATING SITES IT GIVES YOU INFINITE AMOUNT OF OPTIONS WHICH IS COOL”
JAYSON IS ANOTHER USER OF TINDER AND DATING APPS AND FEELS THAT THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO THIS NEW ERA IN THE MODERN DATING AGE
CUT 10: “IF YOU WERE TO PUT IN INTO A PROS AND CONS LIST OBVIOUSLY PRO WOULD BE LIKE ACTUALLY MEETING SOMEONE THAT YOU KNOW YOU COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH JUST BY CLICKING A BUTTON AND JUST SEEING IF YOUR’E JUST YOU KNOW YOUR’E COMPATIBLE WITH EACH OTHER I GUESS THAT REALLY COOL AND ALL BUT UM WHAT I BELIEVE IS WHAT REALLY THAT MATTERS MOST ABOUT THIS WHOLE CONNECTING THING IS IF YOU YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT LITERALLY GIVES YOU REASON TO MAKE IT SOMETHING”
HE MENTIONS HOW USING THESE APPLICATIONS ARE A WAY FOR PEOPLE TO FIND THEIR STATISTIC AND WHERE THEY FIT IN ON THE DATING SPECTRUM
CUT 11: “UH I HAVE AND I MATCHED WITH A GOOD AMOUNT UMM I NEVER REALLY USED IT AS SOMETHING TO MEET UP WITH PEOPLE WITH I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS JUST FUN AND GAMES TO KNOW LIKE WHO YOU COULD BE MATCHED WITH AND YOU C- ALSO WHAT PEOPLE WOULD DO IS LIKE OH WELL I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THAT OTHER PEOPLE WOULD DO IS UM THEY WOULD USE IT AS LIKE A A COMPARISON CONTEST BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND THE PEOPLE THAT THEY MATH THEMSELVES WITH JUST TO SEE LIKE WHO IS THE ATTRACTIVE LEVEL TYPE OF PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE KNOW FOR A FACT IF YOU WERE GONNA GO INTO A SOCIAL SETTING THAT YOU WOULD BE CONNECTED WITH THEM EASILY. THINK ABOUT IT WHEN YOUR’E USING THESE KIND OF SOCIAL MEDIA TYPE OF CONNECTION SITES ITS ITS JUST AN UNLIMITED AMOUNT OF PEOPLE AROUND YOU I MEAN YOU MEET THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE EVERY DAY WHEN YOUR’E WALKING AROUND AND LIKE OBVIOUSLY WE DON’T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME OF DAY TO LIKE MEET EVERY SINGLE PERSON AND LIKE GET A WHOLE BACKGROUND HISTORY OF THEM BEFORE YOU LIKE YOU I MEAN OBVIOUSLY LIKE ATTRACTIVENESS IS THE FIRST CONNECTION LIKE INSTANTLY WHEN YOU SEE A PICTURE OF SOMEONE THAT LIKE YOU KNOW IS SOMEONE THAT YOU WOULD BE LIKE OH OKAY I COULD PICTURE MYSELF BEING WITH THIS PERSON FOR A BIT LIKE THIS THIS IS SOMETHING THAT WOULD UMM I WOULDNT MIND BUT THEN AGAIN LIKE WHATS BEHIND THAT PERSON LIKE WERE GOING AFTER AN AVATAR RATHER THAN LIKE A PERSON”
NOT EVERYONE HAS THE SAME OPINION AS ALEX FROM OUR SUCCESS STORY JAYSON FEELS AS THOUGH MOST DATING APPLICATIONS ARE MORE FOR SEXUALIZATION
CUT 12: “UM I MEAN THERE ARE A FEW SOCIAL MEDIA SITES THAT GIVE YOU A LITTLE MORE PREFERENCE AND LIKE THERES THERES ALSO UH CERTAIN BOUNDARIES THAT AND THEY ALSO HAVE LIKE AN ALGORITHMIC FORMULA THAT COULD UMM GIVE YOU A BETTER MATCH TYPE OF PERSON THROUGH YOUR FIRST SEARCH PREFERENCES LIKE AND WITH THIS TINDER THING ITS JUST UMM WOULD I MEET THEM RIGHT NOW OR WOULD I EVEN BOTHER TO GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY AND ITS JUST AN INSTANT SECOND IT TAKES ONE SWIPE TO SEE WHETHER OR NOT YOU'RE GONNA LIKE SOMEONE AND THATS KINDA LIKE THE MESSED UP PART OF THIS WHOLE THING”
THERE ARE SO MANY THOUGHTS OUT THERE ON WHAT DATING APPLICATIONS AND WEBSITES HAVE BEEN DOING TO THE DATING SCENE IN THE MODERN AGE. FOR SOME THEY HAVE FOUND LOVE AND LONGTERM RELATIONSHIPS ON TINDER AND OTHER APPS, HOWEVER, FOR OTHERS THEY USE IT AS A WAY TO PICK UP CHICKS OR GUYS FOR A ONE NIGHT FLING… HEY I EVEN OVERHEARD SOMEONE SAY THEY USE TINDER TO GET FREE DINNER!
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